Equally Yoked in Marriage

The Problem With Being Unequally Yoked

If You're Not Equally Yoked You're Missing a Key Ingredient

Being equally yoked is as essential to marriage as yeast and eggs are to making a cake. You can proceed without those ingredients but you'll be deeply disappointed in the results because it won't look or taste at all like what you imagined. In 2 Corinthians 6:14 Paul says this, "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? Although this scripture is not addressing marriage directly, it is talking about Christian relationships and therefore can be applied to marriage. If you have an unbelieving spouse, we have a few suggestions for you. But first we want to explain why we as Christians are instructed not to be unequally yoked.

To help you get a better picture of what it means to be unequally yoked and why it's best to avoid this arrangement, let's look at Deuteronomy 22:10. It says, "Thou shall not plow with an ox and a donkey yoked together." Let's look at the differences between an ox and a donkey. As you read the differences, ask the Holy Spirit to help you see this spiritually:

The Believer and The Unbeliever The Ox and the Donkey - Not Equally Yoked

The donkey is much faster than the ox. The ox is much stronger than the donkey. The donkey is more laid back with a self preserving nature. The ox is more sure-footed and less prone to injury during plowing. The donkey and the ox enjoy two different diets. The ox can pull longer and harder. The ox is territorial and doesn't like it's space invaded.

Accomplishing any task with these two animals joined together will not be easy. But why? Well, the obvious answer is because they are two different species with two different fathers. The same is true when you are not equally yoked in marriage. You and your spouse have two different spiritual fathers. Therefore, you have two different footings, two different ways of handling the same task, two different spiritual appetites, two different mind sets, two different natures, etc. For this reason, marriage between a non-believer and a believer is full of challenges and difficulties. If you are considering marrying a non-believer, don't. It doesn't matter how attractive they are, or how much of a "good person" they are. If you will be obedient to God's word, it will save you a lot of heartache later.

I'm Married to an Unbeliever What Should I do?

Stay: If your spouse is unsaved, the Bible instructs you not to divorce your spouse if their desire is to remain married. This is what it says, "And if a Christian woman has a husband who is not a believer, and he is happy to live with her, she must not divorce him. The husband who is not a believer is made holy through his believing wife. And the wife who is not a believer is made holy through her believing husband. If this were not true; your children would not be clean, but now your children are holy. But if those who are not believers deicide to leave, let them. When this happens, the Christian man or woman is free. But God called us to live in peace. " 1 Corinthians 7:13-15 Submit: The Word of God instructs married couples to submit one to the other. It doesn't matter if your spouse is saved or not. God sees you as one and is holding you accountable to

His standards regarding marriage. If this is difficult for you, pray daily for God's grace. Your humble attitude will witness more to your spouse than an attitude of rebellion.

Surrender: Don't try to manipulate and plan how "you" can get your spouse saved. Don't nag or push them. The Bible says that only God can draw people to himself. Surrender your frustration to the Lord and trust that He has heard your prayer and will answer it in His time. Love: Continue to show your spouse the love of Christ. That means unconditional love. The only way you can achieve this is by dying to your flesh, and walking in the Spirit. Pray: Pray daily for your spouses' salvation. And try not to get discouraged when your prayers seem to go unanswered. Just keep praying and watching. God is listening and will respond in His time.