ENGLISH WRITING Thiu nng

Session 8 Module I Instructor: H L V

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OVERVIEW
Review Linearity development: Homework solution Vietnamese-English translation: Vng c Wrap-up: make sense of a condemned V-pop song

Previously on Thiu Nng

Essay comparison differences in TP pattern distribution
manner of exemplification use of explicit cohesive ties

Genre factor
narrative vs. argumentative texts

Thematic distribution improvement techniques

Linear idea development (part 1)

Previously on Thiu Nng

Feedback
Q: vic c MC dng sai tuy...nhng. Liu c hi kht khe khng khi ph bnh c ny ? Nu l vn vit th ng l ng ch, nhng nu l vn ni th em ngh n cng khng phi l li qu ln. y l chng trnh truyn hnh trc tip buc MC phi c kh nng phn x v ni tri chy, nn nu mc li cng c th tm chp nhn . A: 1. Spoken language vs. written language: less time and chance to monitor ones speech and improve linking and linearity. 2. The use of structures such as tuy...nhng in spoken language: fluency vs. linking 3. This is not about criticizing the MC or nitpicking. Its about critical thinking! Make it second nature to you.

Previously on Thiu Nng

Sent-in homework 1 feedback
45 people submitted on time.
incorrect file name and/or email subject, no Word file struggling with linearity and implicit linking (esp. in revising Paragraph 9) misrepresenting the authors intended meaning many are pretty good at identifying repeat ideas Many skip stages and take shortcuts in the early stage Note: Nguyen Thu Hang & Hoang Thi Kieu Anh???

My favorite: L Thy Chi My other favorites: Nguyn Qunh Chi, Nguyn Ngc Nam, Nguyn Thu Thy

Previously on Thiu Nng

Sent-in homework 1 feedback

Previously on Thiu Nng

Sent-in homework 1 feedback

HOMEWORK
For example, my colleague, instead of attending a prestigious universities university as many of his peers did (1), he followed in his fathers footsteps (2) and chose a normal school to become a teacher (3). This is understandable since living with his father (4) helps him to see his fathers standards of morality and the values of teaching (5). Consequently, becoming a good teacher like his father (6) is always his life-long dream (7).

Note: (2)=(6) father is a [good] teacher (*+6) being brought up by his father (4) grew to appreciate the values of teaching (5) dream career is teaching (7) to follow in his fathers footsteps (2+6) chose a school that allows him to become a teacher (3) disregard some fancier schools (1) Note: (*) indicates an added idea (due to implicit linking)

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LINEAR IDEA DEVELOPMENT

father is a [good] teacher (*+6) being brought up by his father (4) grew to appreciate the values of teaching (5) dream career is teaching (7) to follow in his fathers footsteps (2+6) chose a school that allows him to become a teacher (3) disregard some fancier schools (1) Tip: combine ideas that can go together to form more complex sentences
Being brought up by his father, who is a teacher (*+6+4) my colleague grew to appreciate the values of teaching (5) his dream career is teaching to follow in his fathers footsteps (7+2&6) hence, instead of targeting some fancier schools, he chose one that allows him to become a teacher (1+3).

again, there are often more than one good solution when it comes to linear development but you should NOT skip stages and take shortcuts in the early stage

HOMEWORK
A good example of this is Julian Assange and Wikileaks (1). Before being internationally known for his work with WikiLeaks (2), Assange was a hacker (3). Upon this websites disclosure of secret information (4), the website and its creator immediately became the focus of a worldwide debate (5) over confidential messages regarding Americas global diplomacy (6).

Note: (2)=(5) A good example of this is Julian Assange and Wikileaks (1) Assange was a hacker (3), who subsequently decided to set up WikiLeaks (*) a website dedicated to disclosing secret information (*+4) Such a case is (*) confidential messages on Americas global diplomacy (6) the website and its creator immediately became the focus of a worldwide debate (2+5) Note: (*) indicates an added idea (due to implicit linking)

HOMEWORK
This is very different from the time when I was a child (1) and my mother was so busy at work (2) that she could only served my family with meals of one or two dishes (3). The lack of food diversity in my familys meals (4) was, besides the lack of preparation time (5), also due to the fact that the only kind of food that was always available in every house at that time without refrigerators was dried fish (6). Other kinds of food needed to be purchased on every single day (7).

when I was a child (1) the only available non-perishable food was dried fish (6) but we had no refrigerator (*) other types of food must be purchased daily (7) unfortunately my mother was so busy at work (2) no time for grocery shopping (*) and meal preparation (5) only served my family with meals of one or two dishes (3) the lack of diversity in my familys meals (4) Note: (*) indicates an added idea (due to implicit linking)

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LINEAR IDEA DEVELOPMENT

when I was a child (1) the only available non-perishable food was dried fish (6) but we had no refrigerator (*) other types of food must be purchased daily (7) unfortunately my mother was so busy at work (2) no time for grocery shopping (*) and meal preparation (5) only served my family with meals of one or two dishes (3) the lack of diversity in my familys meals (4)

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FOOD FOR THOUGHT

A common linearity mistake: A (leads to) B (R-T) B (also caused by) C

(A + C) (both lead to) B

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FUN ACTIVITY
Listen to a Vietnamese singer singing Vng C in English
What could be problems?

Lyrics:
Do u know I love you and miss you so much Night after night I cannot sleep so well Youre leaving me because of money I do know I who have nothing I just love you by my heart, my soul. I don't know what to do, no car, no job, no money, no home I will die very soon Honey come back u can save my life

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TRANSLATION TASK
Dch mt on trong bi vng c Tnh anh bn chiu ca son gi Vin Chu (1st 25 seconds).
H chiu C Mau nhum mu ti thm Cng ti cc lm ma nng di du Chiu ny ti chng bn u Tm c khng gp, ti gi u mi m

Group work
pay attention to the linking issues 5 points for vocabulary + grammar 10 points for linear development, linking and thematic progression
have a group discussion

15 points for performance

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TRANSLATION TASK
Linked ideas
Questions:
Chiu C Mau ti thm ai lm ra chiu? Cng ti cc kh b cng ra lm ci g? Chiu ny khng bn vy th lm g? Tm c khng gp nhn vt "c" l ai, ng vai tr g trong cu chuyn ny? Gi u mi m gi u ci g? Ti sao li lm th?

Answers:
Ti l ngi lm ra chiu Ti b cng sc nhiu lm chiu Chiu lm ra khng bn m tng cho c, ngi ti thm yu Nu khng gp c, ti dng chiu gi u mi m nh n c

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TRANSLATION TASK
Linear development of ideas
Ti b rt nhiu cng sc lm ra mt ci chiu rt p nhng li khng bn m lm qu tng cho ngi con gi ti yu nu chng may khng c dp gp li c y th ti nh dng chiu ny gi u hng m nh v ngi con gi y.

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TRANSLATION TASK
A sample solution
H chiu C Mau nhum mu ti thm Cng ti cc lm ma nng di du Chiu ny ti chng bn u Tm c khng gp, ti gi u mi m Ive been working day and night, come rain or sunshine... to make such a nice mattress, colorful and bright. Its not for sale, but for you, the girl in my dream, as a gift. If we dont have another chance to meet, this would serve as a pillow lulling me soft asleep

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TRANSLATION TASK
A sample solution (TP improvement)
Ive been working day and night, come rain or sunshine... to make such a nice mattress, colorful and bright. Its not for sale, but for you, the girl in my dream, as a gift which would serve as a pillow... lulling me soft asleep if we dont have a chance to meet again.

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HOMEWORK
Firstly, young children are meant to learn very fundamental skills for their daily lives. At such an early age, their intelligence as well as awareness, not to mention their patience and skills, are not good enough for a new language. A five-year-old child, for instance, who may not know how to use his mother tongue appropriately, is not likely to be attracted by a new language. As a matter of fact, it is not natural for young kids to learn a foreign language. At their very early stage of life, they should be taught to brush their teeth, to put on clothes, etc. Such things are good enough at keeping children busy. A foreign language for young kids is merely something that will cause them confusion.

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LINEAR IDEA DEVELOPMENT

A sample solution:
Main ideas: Learning commitments vs. time commitments

Main concern: how to link the two main ideas

Idea re-arrangement: fundamental skills (e.g., teeth brushing, self-dressing, speaking the mother tongue) are (a) necessary for children to survive and also (b) a prerequisite for them to learn more complex skills such as learning a foreign language (*) hence children should learn these skills first unfortunately, learning these basic skills already takes up most of their time and energy no time for extra activities therefore, they should not learn a new language at such a young age. Note: if you address two separate ideas in the same paragraphs, the linking between the two must be explicit.

Linear development:

Point A Basic skills are vital

Point B Need to learn them first

Point C Point D Point E Time & energy No time for Delay learning consuming other activities an L2
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WRAP-UP
Try to help make sense of Phi Thanh Vns Da Nu
slammed by many critics as a disaster of V-Pop watch the clip
Da nu Em sng trong kht khao Da nu Em sng trong c ao Mang n nhng c ao Mang n nhng kht khao Ln da nu, Ln da nu, Ln da nu

- listen to Phi Thanh Van defending her song does it sound convincing to you?

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WRAP-UP
Try to help make sense of Phi Thanh Vns Da Nu
Watch a parody clip by Thanh Loc.
Em c mt c ao Em c mt kht khao Ln da tru, ln da tru Ln da em en nh con tru

Does his version make more sense to you?

Your own version?

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WRAP-UP
Da nu Em sng trong kht khao Da nu Em sng trong c ao Mang n nhng c ao Mang n nhng kht khao Ln da nu, Ln da nu, Ln da nu

A sample interpretation
I yearn for a tan A perfectly tanned complexion Itd make my dream come true

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LAST LAUGH
See how non-linearity (and unmotivated New Themes) can be used for humor effects in English comedies
watch a sample video clip

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