DEALBREAKER - 1 DEALBREAKER Caitlin Kunkel INT.

RESTAURANT - NIGHT The WAITER takes an order from SARA and JASON, a couple. SARA and Ill have the sea bass. The waiter lingers. WAITER You look really familiar - are you famous or something? SARA (charmingly) Not that I know of! The waiter wags his finger at her, smiles and leaves. JASON Why didnt you tell him who you are? SARA Jason, its really no big deal. JASON (makes a bullhorn with hands) Hey everyone! Did you know that my girlfriend SARA is an AWARD-WINNING cookbook author? Well, she is, because shes SUPER TALENTED AND AWESOME! J, please! SARA Im embarrassed.

JASON Its just cool how accomplished you are. SARA Well, all that matters to me is you. JASON I feel the same way. And theres something important Ive been wanting to ask you Sara stops breathing. Jason smiles, asking with gravitas:

JASON Will you do me the honorof attending the next Wilco concert with me?

DEALBREAKER - 2 Sara recovers gracefully, smiling. SARA Of course, sweetie! You never ask me to go to concerts with you! JASON I have to really respect someone before I listen to Wilco with them. Live Jeff Tweedy is the deepest level of intimacy. They smile, holding hands. Beat. SARA Whats Wilco, again? Shocked, Jason looks around to make sure no one heard her. JASON HA HA! Good one, Sar, add comedian to your resume! Whew, thought we were entering dealbreaker territory there! SARA Are they like an indie band? Jason makes a gargled sound of horror. The waiter approaches. WAITER Oh, now I know how I recognize you! SARA Oh? WAITER I saw your awesome TED talk about microfinance! You SINGLE-HANDEDLY helped those female-run bakeries in Mongolia become self-reliant! SARA Oh, Im sure that would have happened anyway. JASON Were in the middle of something, man. Putting his hands up playfully, the waiter exits. JASON Sara, Wilco REVOLUTIONIZED rock music, theyre the inspiration for my haircut, and you have never heard of them?

DEALBREAKER - 3 SARA (embarrassed) Guess Ive been so wrapped up in life Ive fallen behind in my music listening. She pulls out a pen and pad and makes a note. SARA Start Wilco Pandora station for marathon training. JASON You dont listen to Wilco when you RUN! SARA Its OK if its not fast-paced, I get into the zone after mile 9. Jason gets so worked out he starts choking. Sara gets up and expertly gives him the Heimlich. As soon as he can breathe again: JASON I dont care if youre an emergency room doctor, the fact that you dont listen to Wilco might be a dealbreaker for me! The waiter comes up again, excited. WAITER WHOA! Thats right! JASON I know! Dealbreaker city. WAITER A dealbreaker that youre at dinner with the greatest Olympic ski jumper of ALL TIME? Not hardly, bro! He makes a gnarly symbol at Sara and she returns it. JASON Go gnarl somewhere else hombre, were having a serious discussion here! WAITER (as he exits) Keep flying, sister! JASON Sara, listening to Wilco encourages you to achieve your biggest goals. The biggest things you can dream of!

DEALBREAKER - 4 SARA Oh, so like last week when I ran my ultraultra marathon? No! JASON

SARA Cool, like completing my training for the Apollo 29 mission. JASON NOTHING like that. SARA (honestly trying to understand) So like when I corrected Einsteins theory of relativity? JASON Listening to Wilco is what inspired me to become a lawyer. SARA Butyou work at Ikea. JASON But I made the COMMITMENT to becoming a lawyer ten years ago when I was listening to Wilco. THATS the power of music. The waiter appears with the check. WAITER Thats it! Youre ALSO that ruthless vigilante who singlehandedly shut down the 92th Street Blood Lords gang!! JASON YES BUT SHE DOESNT LISTEN TO WILCO! SARA (stands and flips her chair over) SO WHAT? I dont listen to Wilco because Im busy vaccinating the entire country of Iceland, going on my Navy Seal missions AND recording my guitar album with Eric Clapton, but you cant get past my taste in MUSIC? Beat.

DEALBREAKER - 5 JASON Do you and Clapton do any Wilco covers? SARA (disgusted) Dealbreaker, dude. Blackout.