Ju Laug 2010

The surfer
Fort Lauderdale prime timers

Volume 8
JULY / AUGUST 2010
Issue 7/8
A social club for mature men and those who enjoy their company
Ft. Lauderdale Prime Timers PO Box 100666 Ft. Lauderdale FL 33310 ftlauderdale@primetimersww.org www.primetimersww.org/ftlauderdale
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Presidents Message
By Henry Penas
Whos That Hottie?

By Henry Penas
We held our June General Meeting at its new time and most of the attendees arrived on time. If you attended you were well fed. The outpouring of food generously provided by our members was wonderful. I hope its just the beginning of a continuing trend. Tom Pense (aka TomCat), founder and organizer of the Celebration of Friends spoke to us about this years event, scheduled to be held from June 24- June 28. He was helpful in getting 80 plus people to attend our chapters first meeting in 2003 and urged our support of his event this year. Membership renewals are coming in at a steady pace so far. During the renewal period our membership numbers drop by a third. I am hoping that this year will be different. If you are reading this and havent yet renewed, put your Surfer down, get your renewal form, check book, envelope and stamp and do it now. If you dont renew by July 1, this Surfer will become a souvenir of the wonderful times you had as a member of the Fort Lauderdale Prime Timers. Keep your membership current and you will continue to enjoy all the benefits of membership, This brings me to our Seventh Anniversary Dinner a celebration of our continued camaraderie and fellowship. The new members of our Board of Directors were inducted and our retiring members, Chuck Wirth, Dominic Bisignano and Martin Haberland, were introduced and acknowledged for their distinguished service. Eddie Sokol, our go-to guy for door prizes, once again came through for us. Members received vouchers for one year gold memberships to the Caffmos Community the online Older Gentlemens Club. They were generously offered by members John Rose and Freddy Millott. Thanks guys! Eddie also procured free bowling games from our friends at Manor Lanes and gift certificates from Simply Delish . The dinner was a great success and a good time was had by all. This Surfer, a special double issue for the Summer of 2010, was created because so many of us will be taking vacations in July and August. The July and August calendars are included so you wont miss anything. Have a wonderful summer and I hope to see you all at our August 1st General Meeting.
Have you ever looked at the full moon and wondered what all those shapes on its face were? Well, this months Hottie can tell you about each one of them and give you their coordinates. He was born and raised in a small rural town but worked on his familys 200 acre farm and spent his early years training quarter horses and entering horses in county fairs and rodeos in events like barrel-racing. (The air must have been ripe with the smell of testosterone). And he has a few trophies to prove it. As a young boy he dreamed of being an equine veterinarian. After high school, where he played one year of football, as well as saxophone in the band, he entered college in the pre-veterinary program. At some point he switched to the sciences and graduated with a double major in geography and geology. After graduation, he worked at various jobs unrelated to his education, for several years. Then he accepted a temporary position with a Mapping Agency in the Department of Defense, which became a permanent job and the beginning of a 30-year career. His first assignment was a huge project mapping the surface of the moon during the Cold War. At the time it was all very hush-hush. (if you read this and tell anyone hell have to kill you). Well, years later the Cold War ended and his mapping skills turned in a very different direction. I cant say too much, but it involved chasing terrorists and the CIA. He has been in two relationships in his life one that lasted 20 years, and his current one of 8 years. He met his first partner, a businessman, on a business trip, in a cafeteria. It was love at first sight. His partner gave up the business trips to set up home with our Hottie. At about the same time his first partner passed away, he had to move to Washington, D.C. for his job, then (continued on page 5)
www.primetimersww.org/ftlauderdale
Ft. Lauderdale Prime Timers PO Box 100666 Ft. Lauderdale FL 33310 ftlauderdale@primetimersww.org
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Birthdays
July
William Kelloway James Rowe Benito Moya Marco Gallindo Gonzalo Haza John Harvey Jerry Fesler Arthur Marquardt Paul Larson Sigmond Travers John Dowd Mel Beluscak Michael Booth Steven Belucz Terry Ralston Jimmy Schill Julio Ajon Dominic Bisignano Ernest Cooper Marshall Belmaine Floyd MacDonald 7/1 7/7 7/8 7/11 7/11 7/12 7/13 7/14 7/17 7/17 7/19 7/19 7/19 7/20 7/21 7/22 7/22 7/27 7/28 7/29 7/30
Herb Diamond, Mike Golin, Henry Penas, Clark Raby, Jerry Kasden, Moose Lallo, Arthur Marquardt, Dick Dodd, George Higginson (did not attend)
Fort Lauderdale Prime Timers 20102011 Board of Directors At our 7th Annual Anniversary Dinner
New Members
Carey Brown Howard Mounce Thomas ONeill Kenneth Reed James Sheehan Hugh Tarpley Our Total Membership251
August
William Wakefield Kenneth Reed Charles Scarcella John Avery Carl Kibble Carl Sjobeck Charlie Shaw Neal Clark James Gross John Vincell Brent McVean Steven Carr Robert Chase Melvin Epstein Joel Glass Shawn Newman Leslie Mounsey Chuck McDermid Jack Harrington Hugh Tarpley 8/1 8/4 8/4 8/5 8/11 8/11 8/13 8/15 8/16 8/18 8/18 8/19 8/22 8/24 8/24 8/25 8/25 8/26 8/30 8/31
Happy Anniversary
Eddie Sokol & Bill Wakefield 8/20/1968 42 years Marshall Belmaine & Al Wakefield 8/11/1971 39 years Jimmy Schill & Bill Bjorstad 8/27/1997 13 years Jim Gross & Dan Hitchens 8/1/2003 7 years Herbert Diamond & Steven Belucz 8/18/2008 2 years
Board Members
President Henry Penas 954.971.6514 hpenas@gmail.com ftlprimetimers@gmail.com Secretary Social Activities Clark Raby 954.366.4523 clarkraby@bellsouth.net Treasurer Dick Dodd 954.401.9640 xxlbear@hotmail.com
Gay an Gray
By John D. Siegfried
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Im not a veterinary psychologist but Ive watched a lot of dogs roam the neighborhood lifting their leg here, lifting their leg there, with nary a tree nor fireplug in sight. Sometimes they do it so frequently that I think they have prostate problems or suffer from irritable bladder, as the TV commercials coyly put it. But then a veterinarian friend explained over a couple of beers that this is simply the way male dogs mark their territory so that other dogs know whos the boss on this turf, the king of the hill. Apparently cats and other mammals have variations on the same theme, and humans are no exception. There seems to be a universal need to mark our turf, but for humans its not called urination, its called renovation. Ive owned eight homes, apartments, condos, domiciles of one sort or another so far in my lifetime. And Im old enough to hope that there are no more. But in every case, shortly after I moved in, and some times before I moved in, the plans for renovations started. The proposed changes have varied from the full-scale addition of rooms to shifting walls, eliminating hallways, and adding wall-to-wall mirrors that make a small space appear larger than it is. To this point Ive resisted mirrors on the ceiling. Cost, not lack of interest, is the deterrent. That, plus the fear of waking up to a loud crash as it all comes tumbling down when the glue dries out. Usually, halfway into my latest renovation project I wonder why I ever started, forgetting that I asked the same question on the last project. When the renovations are complete the painting begins, the floors get redone and then comes the trip to Creative Concepts or Bloomingdales or Macys for redecorating. In reality Im more likely to end up at Poverellos, or Home Depot, or even better at some consignment gallery. But I can dream of going first class, cant I? Hopefully, like Jehovah in the Book of Genesis, at some point I can sit down and behold that my creation is good. My experience, however, is that by the time renovations are completed, I really dont share the same sense Jehovah had that this creation is good. My only emotion is relief that the project is over and bankruptcy has been escaped, yet again. Perhaps dogs feel the same way at the end of the process relief, that their bladders empty, their scent has been spread, and only a dozen tulips are dead. I have yet to break out champagne at the completion of a renovation project. In fact, at the completion of the project, I usually realize that the place really wasnt bad before the renovations started. So why did I endure all the upset and spend the money? Well, Im convinced that the renovation gene of gays and straights alike is directly linked to the peeing gene of the dog, or the trumpeting gene of the elephant. Its our way marking our territory, or of making new territory ours. There may not be a lot of scientific data to support that
(continued on page 8)
Arthur Marquardt 954.213.3008 amarq100@yahoo.com Vice-President Jerry Kasden 954.974.6539 jerrykasden@bellsouth.net George Higginson 954.873.3688 ghigginson@hotmail.com
Herb Diamond 954.533.6438 hdiamond3@yahoo.com
Sports Activities Morris Lallo 954.970.8826 immoosie@hotmail.com Newsletter Editor/ Dinners Mike Golin 954.970.0779
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July Dinner at Catfish Deweys

July 15th 6:00pm
July Lunch at Bagel Snack
On Thursday, July 15th, at 6:00pm, please join us at a July 22nd 1:00pm local favorite, Catfish Deweys, for an evening of Join us for lunch on Thursday, July 22nd. Bagel some down home food. The restaurant is located at Snack is located at 1237 S. Powerline Rd., Pompano 4003 North Andrews Avenue, Fort Lauderdale. Beach, north of McNab Rd, on the west side of the street. Enjoy eggs and omelettes all day, or one of No need to make your dinner choices beforehand. their great deli lunches. Check out their large variety Your choices at the table will be: of freshly made bagels. Email or call Clark Raby if Fried Catfish you plan to be there, so he can get a head count. BBQ Baby Back Ribs Fried Shrimp August Lunch at Chicken BreastGrilled or Blackened The entrees will be served with Hush Puppies, Salad August 26th 1:00pm and Potatoes. Dessert will be Key Lime Pie, and the Were returning to Maguires Pub for lunch on meal will be served with a choice of Soda, Tea, or Thursday, August 26th. They are located at 535 N. Coffee. Andrews Avenue, south of Sunrise Blvd, on the west side of the street. Earlier this year we enjoyed a great Please join us early for Cash drinks at their full liquor pub dinner, and we look forward to sampling their bar. The price per person is $26.00 (tax & tip lunch menu. Email or call Clark Raby if you plan to included). Please use the tear sheet on Page 11 to send be there, so he can get a head count. in your reservation.
Maguires Pub
August Dinner at Sage Cafe

August 12th 6:00pm
Hottie, continued from page 2)
Were doing French on Thursday, August 12th at a few years later on to North Carolina, and finally 6:00pm. Sage is located at 2378 N. Federal Highway ending up in Tampa, Florida. in Fort Lauderdale. On his first vacation trip to Fort Lauderdale he went with a friend to Haulover Beach and spotted his Menu choices will be: Roulade de PouletChicken Breast stuffed current lover. He drove back and forth on weekends with asparagus, tomato and provolone, with an apricot from Tampa to Fort Lauderdale in the hope of meeting him. It took a while for them to be introduced to brandy sauce. Served with sweet mashed potatoes. Daube de BoeufBeef casserole simmered each other. But once they were, a hot and passionate relationship began and continues until this day. Our with mushrooms, served over a bed of pasta. Pistachio Encrusted Tilapialemon dill but- Hottie admits to always having a weakness for grayhaired men. ter sauce, over rice. Dinner will start with either a House Salad, or the Soup du Jour. Dessert will be Gateaux au Chocolate (Chocolate Cake), or Tarte aux pommes a la mode (Apple pie with ice cream).. Beverages will include, Coffee, Tea, Iced Tea or Soda. When I asked his partner what he thinks is our Hotties strongest characteristic, he replied, His patience just the quality you need to make a relationship thrive and last.
Spoiler Alert. Our Hotties childhood nickname Beer and Wine is available on a Cash Bar Basis. The was Tank. (He always hated it.) price per person is $28.50 (tax & tip included). Please use the tear sheet on Page 12 to send in your reserva- (Hottie revealed on Page 8) tion.
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7th Annual Dinner - Galuppis June 19, 2010
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Aging Gay Men Face Unique Challenges

By William J. Mann
Hank, 66, is a tall, handsome, gray-haired man with a penchant for bow ties and long walks through Bostons Copley Square. Hes a genial man, with a quick, ready laugh, but these days he tends to be a little wistful. Last year, after two decades together, his lover, James, died. Not of AIDS, as many assume, but of ripe old age: James was 77 years old. No one thinks about gay people as old people, Hank smiles. But were out there and we have our own stories to tell. Hanks story is not uncommon among the growing ranks of gay senior citizens. With his lovers passing, hes suddenly faced with myriad concerns. Although he was the beneficiary of Jamess life insurance, he gets no financial help from the government as he would if hed been Jamess wife. The Social Security Administration doesnt recognize same-sex partners, and, without Jamess monthly check, Hank worries that he wont be able to pay the bills. Not to mention that Jamess sister is trying to force him out of the house he shared with his lover for 21 years. James always meant to do something about it, but he never did, Hank sighs. The house was originally Jamess parents, and my name was never officially put on the deed. These problems are exacerbated by the fact that Hank doesnt have many gay friends to confide in. Although he and James had been lovers for a long time, they didnt come out until James retired from a large corporation 15 years ago. They tried to connect with Bostons gay community, but they didnt have much luck. it was all about partying and politics, Hank says, not much for men our ages. And so Hank, like many gay seniors, exists in a kind of netherworld: not fully integrated into either gay or straight life, facing challenges that neither population fully understands. At least James had me, he says. I have no one.
Few gay publications include groups for seniors in their resource listings. One Boston newspaper lists 18 support groups for gay youth in New England, and only two for gay men over 40. And though there are dozens of postings, resources, and chat groups for young gay men on the Internet, it took a lot of digging to uncover a couple of bulletin boards about retirement. The biggest problem facing gay seniors today, is the sense of isolation. Many of todays seniors did not have the benefit of spending their adult lives as out gay men. Many only came out later in life and so do not feel connected with the gay community. That dynamic may change, however. The older gay and lesbian population will continue to grow. Every year, an estimated 400,000 gay men and lesbians in the United States turn 50. And as more people with AIDS live longer thanks to new drug combinations, we may see a dramatically increased senior gay population within the next decade. Even so, retirement remains a mystery for most gay men. Larry from Seattle, writes in an AOL gay retirement area: Im turning 50 and I realize I havent a clue as a gay person, where or how to retire. Has anybody got ideas? I know that AIDS and surviving/living with HIV has taken up a lot of our energy, but what are we all going to do in our old age, if and when it comes? Aging heterosexuals must worry about financial security and health, too, of course, but gay seniors lack the societal protections that heterosexuals often take for granted. The lack of marriage rights and spousal benefits is particularly hard on the older gay population. As in Hanks case, when one partner dies, the surviving spouse may not be allowed to remain in the home they shared. The right to make decisions for an ailing spouse, or even just visit a spouse, whos been hospitalized, is also a big concern. While more companies are now providing domestic partnership benefits for employees, those benefits have come too late for most gay seniors. I wish I couldve been covered under Jamess plan, Hank says. He had wonderful coverage. I have practically nothing. (continued on page 10)
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Some Events In Our History

Compiled by Frank E. Grant, Ph.D
(Gay an Gray, continued from page 4)
July
July 3, 2009 Delhi High Court in India decriminalized gay sex. July 7, 2003 Newsweeks cover story, with a big and happy photo of two smiling women, is Is Gay Marriage Next? (Well, were still waiting, Newsweek!) July 10, 1871 Marcel Proust born July 14, 1983 Massachusetts Representative, Gerry E. Studds, survives a gay-baiting witch hunt to become the first openly gay member of Congress.
conclusion but theres plenty of observational data and experience in the gay community that says, Yes. When the renovation project is complete and the dust is finally vacuumed (if it ever gets vacuumed) there definitely is the feeling of, Now its really mine. Owners of new homes get the same high when settlement is over and they have keys to the new property in hand. Then they can see whether all theyve dreamed and planned really will work out. But whether new or renovation, the process is endless. When the inside is finished, the outside is calling. Its billed as landscaping, water gardening (thats different from water sports), a patio, decking and the list of terms and money grabbers is endless. Theres always more that needs to be done. Im never sure, however, whether its what needs to be done, or its just my addiction to chintz. Even I recognize that chintz draping the deck railings is a bit of overkill. The endless surge to renovate and improve may be a tribute to the concept that my dreams exceed my grasp, but then again it might just be dog pee. Previously Rehoboth published in Letters From Camp
August
August 6, 1927 Andy Warhol born August 16, 1501 Michelangelo signs contract to sculpt David, which stands proudly naked in Florence, Italy. August 17, 2009 Human Rights Watch reports hundreds of anti-gay murders in Iraq August 26, 1904 Christopher Isherwood, author of A Single Man, born
Membership Renewal
We know that we are all very busy these days, and were sure that you intended to send in your membership renewal form for the 2010/2011 membership year. The membership year ends on June 30th, so this is the last issue of The Surfer you will receive if you have not renewed. Renew today.
Hottie
Mike Freeman
Ft. Lauderdale Prime Timers Website

Have you visited our web page lately? It is chock full of interesting information and important links. Go to www.primetimersww.org/ftlauderdale. There you will find a description of who we are and what we do. You can download the organizations by-laws, an application to become a member, the latest Surfer, and a calendar of events for the current month. Check it out.
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Stonewall Street Parade June 20, 2010
21 hardy souls braved the heat to march in the Stonewall Street Parade
PAGE 10
(Aging Men.continued from page 7) Im baffled that this need in our community has been neglected so long, says David of San Francisco. Surely theres a market for retirement communities or assisted-living facilities for gays and lesbians. I have no problem with someone making a profit from my wishes. If my unique expectations are not met, someone else is going to make money from me anyway. Informal retirement networks have already sprung up in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, predominately middleclass gay men have created an enclave for themselves within the areas large population of retirees. SAGE and Prime Timers host many social events for gay seniors. I moved to Fort Lauderdale years ago, says Johnny Roy, 62, who retired when he was 51. It is a great place for the gray and gay. Great bars and restaurants. Many older gays who have lost their mates, many older gay couples who stay young at heart. My friends who have buried themselves in straight retirement areas regret it. They stay on simply because of fear or inability to move into gay areas.
Our July and August Birthday Boys Our June General Meeting Guest Speaker Tom Pence (Tom Cat) Founder of Celebration of Friends
Openly gay and lesbian retirement homes are an idea whose time may have come. People who have been out their whole lives, are not going to go back into In Memory Of James D. Burroughs the closet in a nursing home or in a retirement community. The entire membership is saddened to learn of the passing of one of our newest members, James D. The demand for such programs will only grow as the Burroughs. Jims untimely death occurred the third openly gay population continues its inexorable march week of May. He is survived by two cousins who toward retirement age. In the meantime, though, gay reside in the Fort Worth, Texas area. seniors often find themselves ignored or reviled by the larger gay community. I found one bar that I liked, Prior to retiring and moving to Fort Lauderdale 10 for a while, says Hank of Boston. Then I heard a years ago, Jim was Senior Attorney for the U.S. Postal young man call it a trolls hangout. I had never Service. His job responsibilities through the years realized until then, that younger gay men would resulted in relocating to San Francisco, Philadelphia, consider me a troll. Chicago, New York, and Washington D.C. Jim was proud of his association with the gay and lesbian comHundred of thousand of gay seniors may suffer such munity, and was one of the GLCCs founding feelings of isolation. We need to reach out to them. members. He assisted in many ways with the recent This is a population that will only get larger. Are we transition and relocation of the GLCC to Equality prepared for the challenge? Park. At the time of his death, he was also serving on the Board of Directors of Embassy One condominium, as President, Secretary & Treasurer. There are no services planned at this time.
Ft Lauderdale Prime Timers - July 2010

Sun Mon Tues Wed Thur Fri
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Sat
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Golf 9:00am Hillsboro Pines Century Village Hillsboro
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Tennis 8:00am NE 18th Ave & NE 6th St. Pompano Beach
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Flea Market 8am-2pm Pride Center 2040 N. Dixie Hwy Wilton Manors
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No General Meeting Pride Center is closed
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Mixer 5:30pm Scandals 3073 NE 6th Ave. Wilton Manors
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Bowling 11:00am Manor Lanes 1517 NE 26 St. Wilton Manors
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Tennis 8:00am NE 18th Ave. & NE 6th St. Pompano Beach
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Ballet Group 1:00pm Pride Center 2040 N. Dixie Hwy
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Mixer 5:30pm Tropics 2004 Wilton Dr. Wilton Manors
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Golf 9:00am Hillsboro Pines Century Village Hillsboro Dinner 6:00pm Catfish Deweys 4033 N. Andrews Fort Lauderdale
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Board Meeting 7:00pm @ Dick Dodds Home
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Lunch 1:00pm Bagel Snack 1237 S, Powerline Pompano Beach
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Opera Group 1:00pm Pride Center 2040 N. Dixie Hwy Wilton Manors
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Headboat Fishing 7:30am Hillsboro Inlet
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Please complete this tear sheet and send it along with your payment to: Ft Lauderdale Prime Timers PO Box 100666 Ft. Lauderdale FL 33310 Allow at least 3 mailing days.
************************************Tear SheetCut on this Line****************************

Pre-Paid Events Cutoff Date Event Date # of Items Amount Total
Catfish Deweys
7/13/2010
7/15/2010
$26.00
Member name _____________________________ Member name _____________________________ Guest name ______________________________
Ft Lauderdale Prime Timers - August 2010

Sun Mon Tues Wed Thur Fri
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Sat
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General Meeting 2:00pm Pride Center 2040 N. Dixie Hwy Wilton Manors
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Mixer 5:30pm Scandals 3073 NE 6th Ave Wilton Manors
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Bowling 11:00am Manor Lanes 1517 NE 26 St Wilton Manors
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Flea Market 8am-2pm Pride Center 2040 N. Dixie Hwy Wilton Manors
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Mixer 5:30pm Tropics 2004 Wilton Dr. Wilton Manors
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Dinner 6:00pm Sage Caf 2378 N. Federal Fort Lauderdale
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Ballet Group 1:00pm Pride Center 2040 N. Dixie Hwy
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Board Meeting 7:00pm @ Dick Dodds Home
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Lunch 1:00pm Maguires Pub 535 N. Andrews Fort Lauderdale
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Opera Group 1:00pm Pride Center 2040 N. Dixie Hwy Wilton Manors
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Headboat Fishing 7:30am Hillsboro Inlet
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Please complete this tear sheet and send it along with your payment to: Ft Lauderdale Prime Timers PO Box 100666 Ft. Lauderdale FL 33310 Allow at least 3 mailing days.
************************************Tear SheetCut on this Line****************************

Pre-Paid Events Cutoff Date Event Date # of Items Amount Total
Sage Caf
8/10/2010
8/12/2010
$28.50
#1 Stuffed Chicken Breast
#2 Beef Casserole
#3 Pistachio Encrusted Tilapia Entre #______ Entre #______ Entre #______
Member name _____________________________ Member name _____________________________ Guest name ______________________________

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The surfer

Fort Lauderdale prime timers

JULY / AUGUST 2010

Whos That Hottie?

Herb Diamond 954.533.6438 hdiamond3@yahoo.com

July Dinner at Catfish Deweys

July Lunch at Bagel Snack

August Dinner at Sage Cafe

Hottie, continued from page 2)

7th Annual Dinner - Galuppis June 19, 2010

Aging Gay Men Face Unique Challenges

Some Events In Our History

(Gay an Gray, continued from page 4)

Ft. Lauderdale Prime Timers Website

Stonewall Street Parade June 20, 2010

Ft Lauderdale Prime Timers - July 2010

********Tear SheetCut on this Line

Member name _______________ Member name _ Guest name ________________

Ft Lauderdale Prime Timers - August 2010

********Tear SheetCut on this Line

#1 Stuffed Chicken Breast

#3 Pistachio Encrusted Tilapia Entre # Entre # Entre #__

Member name _______________ Member name _ Guest name ________________

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