TEN STEPS

TO
MENTAL
MATURITY

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 TEN STEPS TO MENTAL MATURITY
A thin line divides a mature person from an immature person. It is said of the
former, “He is mature for his years.” Of the latter “He is too immature for his years.” The
former is complimentary, the latter condemnatory. Dictionary meaning helps illustrate it
further. Mature is fully developed, perfected, ripe. Thus, the mature person is fully
developed in arts of human relationships; has acquired some semblance of perfection and
is ripe in the ways of the world.
Although these qualities should come naturally with calendar years, in many cases they
do not. People become “ripe” in years, not in the arts and graces of living. The
angularities of personality remain sharp and pointed. They are not rounded off.
A young man, say of twenty, intervenes in a fight between two men in their forties, and
saves them from stabbing each other is praised. He is a person of mature judgement.
Immaturity is common. Ranbir is in middle life. He expects his wife to mother him as his
own mother had in earlier years. He is dependent and wants to pampering or throws
tantrums.
The mature one is ripe in thinking. He is not goaded or guided by prejudice, which means
preconceived notions about persons and things.
Prejudice means judgement before all the facts are known. The immature are prone to
jump to hasty conclusions, especially young people. The mature person is prepared to
wait, to suspend judgement until he knows all the facts.
The mature person has no leaning to superstitions. In fact, he revels in knocking them for
six. He will walk where the black cat does with a grin. Thirteen leaves him unperturbed.
Little by little he roots out superstitions connected with his religion, daily life and makes
the necessary adjustments as far as he, himself, is concerned.
He recognizes that superstitions are a legacy of the past, when ignorance and illogical
thinking were the order of the day. Knowledge and sane thinking free him from the
foolish fears and restrictions that superstitions lay upon him. Superstition is the religion
of the feeble minds.
The mature person is ignorant of many things, but he knows it. The immature person is
ignorant of many things, and doesn’t know it. The former is ever seeking to extend the
bounds of his knowledge. He detests the blind mind and the parochial outlook. His

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actions and thinking reveal his wide interests and his attempts to scatter his own
ignorance.
He adheres to basic principle: the wise man knows he is a fool. The fool thinks he is a
wise man.
He who has acquired maturity seeks to eradicate fear from his life. He has found that
“perfect love casts out fear”. Rather than fear his fellows, he interests himself in them. He
tries to understand why they behave as they do, and the whole bent of his life is towards
helping them.
Logic
To? Keep him on logic-path, he ever reminds himself of Socrates’ words: “I don’t know.”
These three words, believes Socrates, are the beginning of all knowledge. An ignorant
man thinks he knows all.
But maturity is something more than the mere absence of prejudice, ignorance and
superstition.
The mature person has no fears for his health. His temperate life, his good relationships
with others, plus his refusal to worry, have brought to him a state of good health in which
he is confident he will remain.
He does not fear for the future; he has taken what steps he can to provide for it. For the
rest, he has sufficient confidence in himself, and in Life to know there is no cause for
anxiety. Jesus was a mature person par excellence, and his sane counsel comes down to
us through the ages—“Take no anxious thought for the morrow.”
More positively, the mature person is generally found to possess the following qualities:
The mature person remembers that there is more than one way of looking at every
question. The other fellow may be right; he, himself, does not necessarily possess a
monopoly of the truth. In any case, the particular allegiance of both parties was largely
caused by circumstances over which they had no control.
Maturity says, “Live and let live!” It realizes that there are few evils that do not contain
some good, and when man does attain to some truth, it quickly becomes contaminated
with error.
Maturity, then, keeps a man from being cocksure, dogmatic, conceited, and
proud. Instead it makes him gentle, meek and tolerant.

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Where a man has reached maturity of mind, he is not so preoccupied with himself as to
be regardless of the comfort and feelings of others. He puts himself imaginatively in the
place of others and reacts accordingly. He is big enough to do this. Scriptures call
mankind to maturity when he laid down Golden Rules.
He is objective.
He looks upon people and tricky situations in a detached manner. He is like a
painter who steps back two feet from his canvas so that he may critically view his own
work.
Not merely to flatter himself but to improve his work.
Reliable
The mature person is reliable as he is master of his moods.
He possesses”stickability” and is not easily upset by irritations. He is prepared to
work for objective—something that may not materialize for years.
He is cheerful because he does not take himself too seriously.
He can be reprimanded without sulking, and lose with good grace. He has no
place for self-pity.
He takes full responsibility for his actions and does not look for scapegoats.
He seldom ridicules others. But he has a sense of humour. He knows that the funniest
person in the world can be seen when he looks in his own mirror!
No one could call himself mature if he bears grudges or allows hatreds to fester in his
mind. Neither is he mature if he indulges in envy or petty stabbings and means revenge.
Is it possible for the average person to take steps to hasten the advent of this desirable
state of maturity? The answer is definitely in the affirmative. It is more blessed to give
than get.
This is possible if you turn outwards others than inwards to your own self.
Alfred Adler says,
“Every human being strives for significance but people always make
mistakes if they do not see that their whole significance must consist in their
contribution to the lives of others.”
We have all encountered the artful dodger in our life.

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 He is an expert in going to the toilet for a smoke, and a drink on the sly and a
dozen other tricks to hoodwink others.
Does anybody applaud him? He is laughed at for his mental immaturity.
Man has an incredible capacity for self-deception.
Human beings love to live in a world of make-believe, and they are reluctant to
come out of it. It is because they find life easier in a world of fantasy.
Life is harsh and hard.
Hence, facts are seen as unpleasant. The need for self-deception and to cling to
misconception, prejudice and wishful thinking—all are marks of immaturity.
Funk-Holes
Facing facts is painful, even disturbing, but it has one advantage—we come out stronger,
and matured.
There is no point in remaining in mental cocoon. You must have a dialogue with
your own soul.
Find out funk-holes. Prod (To push against gently, Poke or thrust abruptly) them
(funk-holes) out. This is one sure way to mental maturity.
In the FIRST place, read widely, especially history and biography.
If possible, master another language sufficiently to get acquainted with some of its
great literature.
SECONDLY, think deeply.
Meditate on what you read the trend of events in the world today, man’s past and
probable future.
Ponder the great, sublime topics which have engaged the human mind for
centuries—the mysteries of birth and death, the possibility of survival after death.
THIRDLY, travel. Do this as much as you can. Vary your experience as much as
possible.
Mix with all types of people. Listen and watch carefully.
Travel is a liberal education. “Look wide” is the motto you can well adopt if
seeking maturity.
LASTLY, study psychology.

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 More, perhaps, than any other subject, psychology fosters the mature outlook.
This is because it enables us to understand ourselves and others. The young and the
immature cannot do this. They find bubbling ups within themselves all kinds of emotions
and they are at a loss to recognize or explain them.
Psychologists have analysed the human mind and labelled its ingredients.
They also offer advice on how those ingredients can best be used and controlled.
Nutshell
In a nutshell, MATURITY is:
1. Mental, intellectual growth. It is not related to years.
2. It means freedom from dependence of all sorts.
3. Freedom from prejudice.
4. Freedom from superstition.
5. Freedom from fear, ignorance.
6. Thinking of others.
7. Reliable
8. Master of his moods.
9. Has a sense of humour.
10. Knowledgeable.