Chapter 50: Dinner at My Sisters Candide moved in.

His furniture was not to my taste but had cost somebody some money. I occasionally saw Fiel around but she rarely stayed for dinner, although she seemed to like nan. Every time I did see her, when she left our house Thomas gave her an aluminum foil package of his nan. he called Candide Candy, which he didn!t to mind coming from her. I have to say that Candide was a surprisingly easy addition to the household. He kept to himself, his visits with Fiel mostly took place discretely and when I wasn!t around, and he never complained that meat was never on the menu, although complained about everything else. I couldn!t tell that he had a meal plan at the university but asking him about it would have risked another tirade about how cheap his mother was. If I happened to come home for lunch, which I generally didn!t, Thomas always seemed to be feeding tomato or cucumber sandwiches to Fiel and Candide. "nce there was a curried rice and avocado salad. #s things do, we settled into a routine. Everybody loved Thomas! cooking. In addition to the nan, he also made loaf bread for sandwiches and made his own mayonnaise. He knew a lot about birds and pointed them out a lot and despite his vow of poverty had somehow ac$uired Candide a pair of binoculars and some books about birds. %ost of what Thomas cooked was Indian, but he also did some Chinese things and other #sian deals. &espite his apparently long tenure in 'adley, he never cooked turnip greens, rice, s$uash, sweet potatoes or cornbread. He ob(ected to iced tea, although he never said why. till and all, we ate well. )ot too long after he moved in Candide said over dinner that Hera wanted us over for dinner. Thomas was unenthusiastic. *&oes she have our phone number+, Thomas asked. *)o. 'hat is this stuff+, Candide asked. *I!m not sure it has a name. I would call it vegetable vindaloo,, Thomas answered. *I like the sauce but in my youth it was generally prepared with goat,, he said. *-oat+, Candide asked. * ometimes lamb. "r camel,, he answered. *.ou!ve eaten camel+, Candide asked. *"nly in my youth,, he said. *I became a vegetarian when I was young., *'hy!s that+, Candide asked.

*I became a )a/orite,, he said. *Is that like a )a/orean+, Candide asked. *)o. )ot at all. There was no )a/areth in those days. 0esus and 0ames were )a/orites, not )a/oreans., said Thomas. *'hat!s that+, Candide asked, scooping up rice, vindaloo sauce, and dal1 with a torn chunk of nan.2 *It was a 3 group in 3 4alestine that believed in some things 3 that are not 3 in agreement with modern belief systems., *5ike+, *'e didn!t cut our hair. 'e took lots of baths. 6ery cold baths. 'e adhered to the 5aw,, said Thomas. *I!m going to go out on a limb here and guess )a/orites didn!t eat meat,, said Candide, eating and without looking up., *Tienes razn, hijo mo,, said Thomas. They both knew panish and I didn!t, and since they both knew I couldn!t speak it my position was that for them to carry on in panish was rude. I looked at Candide with a cocked eyebrow because Thomas always ignored me under these circumstances. *I!m right. )o meat,, Candide answered my eyebrow. * o %om wants you over to dinner Thursday,, he said, to me, mi7ing some rice with the sauce and shoveling it in. I was eating, too, of course. It was good. *.eah, okay,, I said. *I told her she had to invite Thomas,, said Candide. *Por qu has hecho esto sin preguntarme?, Thomas asked, crossly. 8Tengo que calmarla. Cree que giys me estn corrputing alguna manera. e !ije que le tanto se presenta,, Candide answered. I cleared my throat in an attempt to get them to speak English. They ignored me. *Pero yo soy santo,, Thomas answered.

1 2

5entils. -enerally cooked until soft. Indian flat bread cooked in a tandoori oven. 9eep up.

*". Claro. To!a#a tengo los !os para ir conmigo a cenar a casa !e mi ma!re el jue#es,, Candide said. *$st %ien,, Thomas answered. *"kay stop this,, I said. *5ook, :nk. 'e!re (ust talking. 'e can!t help it if you!re Hispinacally impaired,, said Candide. *'hat (ust happened+, I asked. Candide got up to get two more beers from the refrigerator, one for him and one for Thomas. *Thomas was complaining about having to go to dinner at %om!s house and I was telling him he had to come,, said Candide. *This is not at all the way I would characteri/e the conversation,, said Thomas. *'hat would you say, old man+, asked Candide. *That I am being forced to visit a house which will have no idea about or respect for about my dietary needs and in which I will be forced to choose between being rude and eating things that are 3 indigestible,, he said. * o (ust eat before you go,, said Candide. *I only got out of that house by the skin of my teeth and I really don!t want to go back. o I!d really, really appreciate it if you two dicks could (ust be nice for a few minutes out of your valuable, busy, busy weeks and make my mom think that I!m not being corrupted by two perverts so she!ll keep writing the tuition checks and I won!t have to move back into a house where I will never get to see Fiel with her clothes off,, he said. *%ore than I needed to know,, I said. *.ou two are weird but most of us aren!t and I really need for this to work out so I can have a semi;normal college life so you two need to suck it up and act normal and have dinner with my mom., He gulped off half of his Heinekin. *.ou two know the lease is in my name, right+, I said. *"i., *"h, don!t pull rank, :nk,, said Candide. *That!s so yesteryear. This is a democracy., *"h, fuck no. )ot in any respect,, I said. *I!m the landlord and you two morons are tenants. Thomas doesn!t even pay rent, for Christ!s sake., <oth Thomas and Candide raised their fingers and opened their mouths as though about to say something, then the front doorbell rang. 'e all fro/e in place. The doorbell had never rung before.

*I!ll get it,, said Candide said, as though this were a momentous decision on his part. He rose from the kitchen table and left towards the front door. #fter a few seconds we could hear the door open, then a happy vocali/ation from Candide, maybe the sound of a brief kiss, then Fiel!s voice. *5ook, Candy, the student council meeting got cancelled because %r. )une/ got sick or something so my %om isn!t coming to pick me up for another hour or so so I figured3, we heard Fiel say. *Cool=, Candide said, with enthusiasm, and then we could hear them move towards the back of the house. *This is going to lead to trouble,, I said. *)o, they are sensible enough to avoid the 3 obvious 3 pitfalls,, Thomas replied. *How often is she over+, I asked. Thomas didn!t answer immediately, and I thought about it for a second. *'ait,, I said. There was a pause. *"i. I am a priest., *Candide is confessing his sins to you+, I asked. *#fter a fashion,, he said. He shrugged. *Is he even Catholic+, I asked. *"i., *Hera and I weren!t raised Catholic,, I said. *It is true that Candy does not seem to be aware of the fact that he is Catholic,, said Thomas, after another brief pause. Typically enigmatic Thomasese. * o now we need to go have dinner with Hera,, I said. *"i. It will be unpleasant, I predict., o the ne7t Thursday we appeared at Hera!s doorstep on outh %adison. The house was a dark brown shingled bungalow that looked almost like a -reene > -reene house. 'e drove the short distance, which felt silly because it was (ust a few blocks away, but Thomas really didn!t like to walk any distance at all. He never said so, of course. He (ust always found a reason not to walk if there was a car available. #s I was driving them Candide complained incessantly about having to sit in the back seat, arguing that his legs were longer than Thomas! so it was only (ust that Thomas should sit in back. 'hen I asked them to stop bickering they switched to panish rather than shut up.

'hen we got there I rang the bell. Hera answered almost immediately, opened the door and happily let us all in. Candide inhaled attentively without saying anything to Hera. * o it!s chicken, rice, biscuits, broccoli with that lemon sauce she makes, and either carrots or sweet potatoes,, he said to me as we walked through the front door. Hera didn!t seem to hear. *Fi7ed menu+, asked Thomas, standing behind him. Candide nodded. *-raven in stone, dude,, Candide said to Thomas. * ucks to be you. Hi, %om,, he said, standing in the doorway. *Henry=, she said, passing Candide to cross to me, still standing on the porch. he hugged me with one arm because she had a wooden spoon in the other hand. he turned. *#nd you!re 3 Thomas, right+, she saked. *"i,, he said. *.ou!re %e7ican+, she asked. *For Christ!s sake, %om,, said Candide. *)o,, said Thomas. *.ou look %e7ican,, said Hera. *.ou might call me 34alestinian,, he said, after a brief pause. *"kay, so I also invited Fiel,, said Candide, pretty loudly. *'hat!s on the menu+, *Fiel+ That #nderson girl you were dating last year+, she asked. *)ever stopped dating her, %om. Is it chicken for dinner+ <y the way, Thomas is a vegan., *'hat!s a vegan+, *He doesn!t eat food produced from animal sources,, Candide answered. * o vegetarian+, she asked, frowning. *)o,, said Thomas. *)ot (ust no meat. )o animal products., Hera looked at Candide, baffled. *)o butter, eggs, or milk products. "r honey,, said Candide. His delivery seemed a little smug. *Honey+ 'hat!s wrong with honey+, asked Hera.

*<ees are part of the animal kingdom,, said Candide. * o+, she asked. *Thomas has foresworn all food products from the animal kingdom. I bet he won!t take <;12., The doorbell rang. Hera disappeared to the kitchen, shaking her head. Candide moved to answer the door. Fiel was there, in her soccer practice uniform but without socks or shin guards, wearing those rubber )ike sandals soccer players wear.? *Hey, sweetie,, he said. They didn!t kiss but he put his arm around her waist in an affectionate gesture and her e7pression and body language indicated that was fine with her. *Hey, %om,, Candide called to the kitchen. *Fiel!s here., *"kay,, she called back. *'ill there be anything I can eat+, Thomas asked Candide. *)o. &ude. .ou!re (ust going to have to get by on rice. %ost of the world lives on rice. &on!t be a dick. uck it up. he!s paying my rent and I don!t want trouble., Candide turned back to Fiel and smiled. Thomas sighed. #fter smiling at Fiel for a few seconds Candide led us to the living room. It was comfortably appointed with dark maroon paint on the walls, white trim and molding, and a rosy;colored wall;to;wall carpet that, based on the age of the house, must have covered up hardwood flooring that may have been $uarter;sawn. *'hat!s for dinner+, Fiel asked. * mells like chicken,, said Candide. *Cool. I like your mom!s chicken,, she said. They looked at each other like people who would rather be somewhere else. I looked at Thomas, who shrugged. *&inner time=, Hera called out from another room. Candide waved us towards the dining room and a large oval dark wood dining room table. He had accurately predicted the menu. The chairs matched the dark wood of the table and were in a vaguely @ueen #nne style although far glossier than anything @ueen #nne ever saw. Hera took the seat at the head of the table. <owls of steaming food were in place as we all sat down. Fiel took the seat ne7t to Hera, Candide ne7t to her, me at the opposite end from Hera, Thomas opposite Candide. *Candy+, Hera said, when we were all seated. Hera bowed her head and reached out to hold Fiel!s hand. )o one else did the same. *.eah, okay,, said Candide, without bowing his head or looking down. "f course, I know this because I didn!t either. Everyone else was prayerful. *<less, oh
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In 5os #ngeles County in 1AB1 there really wasn!t a dress code, and nobody much noticed.

father, thy gifts to our use and us to thy service. For Christ!s sake, amen., The others all looked up and then we all sat down. 4eople started passing the food around, clockwise. Thomas looked at most of the bowls and passed them on to Hera without taking anything. He managed to find a few broccoli spears with no sauce. * o you!re a Catholic priest+, Hera asked Thomas. He was weraing black polyester slacks with foolish slash pockets and a black cotton shirt with a priest!s collar. I noticed for the first time that he was wearing his sandals. *"i,, he said. *#fter a fashion. #nd you are Episcopalian+, *.ep. How!d you guess+, said Candide, shoveling food onto his plate. *#fter what fashion+, asked Hera. *0esus, %om,, said Candide. *.our blessing was from the <ook of Common 4rayer,, said Thomas, spooning some rice onto his plate. *#fter what fashion are you a Catholic priest+, Hera asked. Thomas looked at his rice unhappily. *I am not a diocesan priest, I am a &ominican friar., *'hat does that mean+, Hera asked. Thomas was looking at the rice and trying to decide if he could eat it. *Christ almighty,, said Candide. *&ominicans are mendicants,, said Fiel. *He!s taken orders and a vow of poverty, but he!s not assigned to a parish and answers to the head of his order, not to the local bishop., Hera looked at Thomas. *"i,, said Thomas. He was scowling at the sweet potatoes. He looked up at Candide. *)o,, said Candide. *5ots of butter. <ut the biscuits will be okay. he uses Crisco., Thomas smiled briefly then took three biscuits and some more rice. *How do you know about all this+, asked Hera. *"h, I!m Catholic,, Fiel answered. Hera frowned at this. *'e go to Holy Family, although honestly I like t. Eli/abeth better. 'hen I was younger I used to think I wanted to be a nun. )ow, not so much., he glanced at Candide and smiled. * o your husband is out of town+, I asked Hera. *"h= )o. "r sort of. He!s stationed in "kinawa,, she said.

*#h. %ilitary+, I asked. *.es, yes. # lieutenant colonel in the #ir Force. He!s in intelligence, so I!m not sure what he does, e7actly., There was a pause as everyone served themselves and ate. There was something I was trying to get at but couldn!t ask directly. he!d called herself Hera 0ones in the grocery store, but last I heard she was married to a guy named Tronkh whom I had never met and knew nothing about. Candide!s last name was Tronkh but asking him $uestions about anything personal was like cross;e7amining a wooden chair. *#nd his name is 0ones+, I asked. *.es. 0ohn 0ones., I nodded and ate some chicken. *.eah, so %om and &ad are divorced,, said Candide. *"h= I guess you!re kind of out of the family loop=, Hera said. *# )orthern Flicker,, said Thomas, looking out the window. *"h, do you like birds+ I love birds,, said Hera. .ou should come back a little earlier in the year. In the summer we have tons of hummingbirds=, I may be mistaken but it is possible that Fiel!s hand was in a place under the tablecloth that would have worried Hera but which pleased Candide. *"i,, said Thomas. *.ou see #nna!s hummingbirds+, Thomas asked. *.es=, said Hera. *#nd Cufous. #nd I!m pretty sure a Calliope every now and then., Thomas made an approving noise and finished the last of his broccoli. *'hat!s the strangest bird you ever saw+, she asked. He thought a few seconds. *If by strangest you mean rarest, an Imperial woodpecker,, he said. *.ou!ve seen one+ 'ow= I guess sometimes it pays to be %e7ican,, she said. *"h, for Christ!s sake, %om,, said Candide. *"i,, said Thomas, finishing his rice and looking at his plate forlornly. * o fill me in on the family history,, I said, to Hera. *'hich part+, she asked. *The last twenty years,, I said. *"h= "kay. o the second time %om was stationed in -ermanyD,

*.ear+, I asked. *# )orthern %ockingbird,, said Thomas, pointing. *-osh. I guess it was 1AE?. I was at -eorgia tate3, *Ceally+, I asked. *I always thought you were at )orth -eorgia., *)o, no. I did go for a visit but that C"TC thing was way too strong there., *#nyway, so I was a freshman at -eorgia tate over in #tlanta and my favorite professor was &r. FranFois;%arie Tronkh. He was handsome and debonair and came across at the time so wonderfully worldly in a 3 European way. 'hat can I say+ I was young. He was going to be teaching at the orbonne for the summer and even though I was a 3 little younger he invited me to come along for the summer. %om was in -ermany, &ad was in the 4hilippines, and without any parental guidance, I said yes. He was (ust older and wiser., *#nd that!s why I got sent to Chattanooga+, I asked. *"h= .es. .ou were, what+ )ine+ I couldn!t leave you there by yourself. #nyway, I meant to come back to #tlanta. I (ust got 3 sidetracked., #t this point Candide cocked an eyebrow at Fiel and pointed at himself, (abbing his inde7 finger into his solar ple7us. Fiel covered her mouth to hide a discreet, silent laugh. *FranFois;%arie and I 3 decided to get married in France and it was several years before I could get back to the states, but I decided I needed to come because Candy didn!t know English. *$lle &ait cela. $lle est re#enue au' (tats)*nis parce que mon p+re s,est en&ui a#ec une jeune &ille grecque qui tait encore plus jeune que maman tait,,G said Candide, in perfect French. *Candy=, said Fiel. *)e #ous inquitez pas. -aman ne peut pas #raiment parler &ran.ais,H, said Candide. *.ou!re terrible=, she said, smiling sweetly. Hera frowned. )ot because she understood what Candide said, but because she didn!t approve of a pretty blonde Catholic girl touching her son in an affectionate manner. 5ordy. * o anyway, I was in France for maybe four or five years before Candy!s father and I 3 decided to go our separate ways, and then I came back to the : and settled in outhern California3,

* he!s making this up. he returned to the tates because my dad ran off with a -reek girl who was even younger than mom., H *&on!t worry. %om can!t actually speak French.,

*The way you do,, said Candide, as a (oke. Hera scowled at him. *%om, I!m not complaining. I love it here., %y guess is that at this point Fiel s$uee/ed something because Candide!s eyes widened as though involuntarily. *#nd what were you doing+ she asked, brightly. *'hat year are we up to+, I asked. *1AEB+ 1AEA+, she said. *I was in Chattanooga living with the 6enables and polishing my pool game,, I said. *'ho are the 6enables+, she asked. * ome friends of %om!s, I think,, I said. *)obody ever e7plained, and I had the impression that if I asked $uestions it might cause problems., *How long were you there+, Hera asked. *In Chattanooga+ "r with the 6enables+, I asked. *<oth,, she said. he had a worried look.

*In Chattanooga, maybe five or si7 years. In Tennessee we did middle school for three years and then high school. I got shipped off to the %oores when you married Tronkh, I guess. I didn!t really know what was going on. )ot that it would have much mattered. #nd then for some reason when I was working at %c&onalds the %oores palmed me off on the 6enables. )obody ever said why., *"h, dear,, said Hera. *)o, really, it!s okay,, I said. Thomas was frowning again. *)o, really, it is,, I said. *'e!re (ust not that close., Candide laughed out loud. *"h. "kay, so %om told me she was paying for foster care so I didn!t need to worry,, Hera said. *"kay., I shrugged. Ceally. This was okay. I know it sounds weird, but we!re (ust not like other families. *Ceally, Hera, this is all okay with me. I!m a loner by nature. I!m not scarred by any of this. I!m fine., *"kay,, she said, looking worried. *<ut %om never called and told you what was going on+, *)o, really, we!re (ust not that close. It!s okay., *# common grackle,, said Thomas, pointing out the window.

*&ad+, Hera asked. *-ood 5ord, no. &o you hear from him+, I asked. *)ot recently., There was a silence around the table that I have to say seemed weird. If I was okay with all of this, why was anyone else weirded out by it+ There was an awkward pause. *#nything else I can tell you+, Hera asked. Everyone had finished dinner and was looking at their empty plates. *.eah, sure. 'hy don!t I have a middle name+, I asked. Hera looked confused for a second, then shook her head. *.es, you do. .our middle name is 4ercival. Henry 4ercival <aida,, she said. *)o shit+, I asked. *Henry,, Hera said, chiding. *Ceally+, I asked. *Ceally. &a said he meant to call you 4arsifal but the clerk at the hospital took it down wrong and he didn!t reali/e it until you were two., *&a+, I asked. *"ur father. That!s what I called him., *He!s dead+, I asked. *"h, I doubt it. I (ust haven!t seen him for years., Thomas shook his head. Candide!s eyes widened happily again in response to some stimulus from below the tablecloth. *'ho wants dessert+, Hera asked. *4erhaps I could be of service by cleaning the table,, said Thomas, standing. I rose to help.