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Friday, January 24, 1997

The Magazine of the University of Waterloo Engineering Society


Volume 10 Issue 1
The Iron Ring -
History, Myth and Fact
W.D. Stevens, P.Eng.
Warden, Camp 15
j\J
ound the end of February each
year, graduating engineering
tudents at the University of
Wa terloo have the opportunity to partic-
ipate in the Ritual of the Calling of an
Engineer, or the Iron Ring Ceremony, as
it is frequently called. Many candidates
know little about the ceremony, its his-
tory and true background. Several
myths and inaccuracies have evolved
concerning the Ritual and its true intent
and meaning. The purpose of this let-
ter I article is to offer some insights into
the Ritual and to inform interested par-
ties about its origin and details.
Origin
1
At the Thirty-Sixth Annual Professional
Meeting of the Engineering Institute of
Canada, in Montreal, on January 25, 1922,
Professor HE.T. Haultain, of the Universi-
ty of Toronto, was the luncheon speaker.
In his address entitled "The Romance of
Engineering", he urged the development
of a tribal spirit among engineers.
Invited to enlarge upon his idea at the
retiring president's dinner in the Universi-
ty Club that evening, Professor Haultain
suggested the development of an oath or a
creed to which the young graduate in engi-
neering could subscribe, something in the
form of the Hippocratic oath in the med-
ical profession. Mr. J.M.R. Fairbairn, chief
engineer of the Canadian Pacific Railway,
was the past-president in the chair and
there were present, as special guests, six
other past-presidents of the Institute:
Messrs. G.H Duggan, Phelps Johnson,
G.A. Mountain, RA. Ross, W.P. Tye and
HH Vaughan .. At Professor Haultain's
suggestion, these seven past-presidents
were then and there constituted a commit-
tee under the chairmanship of Past-Presi-
dent Fairbairn, to act on his proposal.
On October 4, 1923, Professor Haultain,
in a letter to Dr. Fairbairn, inquired
whether the committee had done anything
towards the development of a creed or
professional oath and wondered "if it
would be possible to interest Kipling in
this". Dr. Fairbairn thought well of the
suggestion of appealing to Rudyard
Kipling, remarking that there was "no one
who could put it up in better form or
would have a deeper insight into the
meaning of such a thing to the engineer".
He asked Professor Haultain: "Why not
write to him on the subject?"
In a letter to Kipling, on October 18th,
Professor Haultain outlined the suggestion
made at the retiring president's dinner,
and requested his help. Kipling's reply
came promptly. On November 9th, he
sent to Professor Haultain the Ritual of the
Calling of an Engineer, together with the
notes which now are part of the Ritual.
In his accompanying letter, Kipling
explained: "My own idea would be to
make the Ritual binding and unalterable
except by the authority of the Seven Past
Presidents on the Engineering Institute of
Canada, who (co-opting as need arises)
would be responsible for the Landmarks
of the Calling." He also for the opin-
Important Dates for Iron Ring 1997 .
Kyle Corbett
48 Electrical - OMEGA Sector
For those who are graduating this year, here are some important dates that you should be aware of. For more information about
the ring and it's significance to Canadian Engineers, please read the article about the Iron Ring in this issue of the Iron Warrior.
All the information listed below is from the information posted in the 4th year rooms. (Yellow announcement)
February 6 - Iron Ring Information Seminar
February 13 - Ring Sizing
February 20 - 7 Days until rns Pub Crawl
February 27 - Iron Ring Ceremony
4:30 - O1emical, Ovil, Electrical, and Mechanical (all 4 stream)
5:30 -Computer, Electrical (8 stream), and
6:30 - O1ernical, Ovil, Geological, and Mechanical (all 8 stream)
(Please note in order for you to receive your ring you must attend the Iron Ring Ceremony.)
-Iron Ring Stag
For more information about the Iron Ring Stag please read information posted in your 4th year rooms or e-mail the ms committee
at krcoxbet@novice.
The I Want My Pool Table Issue!
phOUJ5Q/ui design by Ryall Olell-Willg
ion of /, the Seven" on what he had submit-
ted, and suggested that, although "the
larger part of the working would be natu-
rally, obligating graduates in engineering
im.m.ediately after they had taken their
degree, or before they embarked on their
career _. JIlany young engineers, and even
older ones, out struggling in the world,
would find it both tonic and refreshing to
be obligated." In the same letter, Kipling
expressed his preference for the word
"obligation" over the word "oath".
In. the months that followed, Dr. Fair-
bairn sought the opinion of the other six
past-presidents. At the time, two were
travelling in Europe and one was in South
Am.erica. While in due course enthusiastic
appreciation of the beauty of the Ritual
was unanimously expressed, all realized
that cautious study should be made of the
means of administering the Ritual so as to
preserve its dignity and bring out its full
significance.
After much consultation among the
Seven, Dr. Fairbairn wrote, on March 31,
1925, to Mr. Kipling, outlining the proce-
dure that had been devised for the cere-
monies of obligation and suggesting a few
minor changes in the wording of the Ritual
.... continued on page 5
RON
So What's The Solution
Chris Foster
Editor-In-Chief
F
irst, what's the problem? The problem is that
there are too many people in this world that
are prepared to complain about a problem
with out offering a solution. People are way to
quick to jump on the actions and decisions of others,
to critisize them without offering an alternate solu-
tion. This in itself is no doubt a problem. But I
believe that I ha ve a number of viable solutions.
The first option as I see it is to ignore the problem.
This may seem like avoiding the problem rather than
solving it, but let me explain. By this point in life, most
students have come to realize that "it's the squeaky
wheel that gets the grease". But what would happen if
instead we all ignored the squeaky wheel. Well there
are two possible outcomes; the problem will get so bad
as to cause an even larger problem. Or it will work jtself
out and go away. i.e. The person doing the complaining
will realize that no one is listening, and therefore will
cease to complain. 'This solution is best suited for the
boy who cried wolf situations, because as we aJJ know
C
I R
a e
s p
s s
they boy who cri.es wolf is doing it for the attention
Another and slightly more practical solution to the
problem is to show the complainer for the fool that they
are. This can easily be done both in public and in pri-
vate. When a person complains about a problem, con-
tinually list solutions to their problem, while asking
them before each solution "have you considered .... [solu-
tion]". The advantage to this solution is that because of
the humiliation you put the complainer through, they
wilJ likely never complain to you again. The disadvan-
tage is that after having done this to a number of pe0-
ple, you will end up looking like the cruel cold person
that you may really be. If you are interested. in further-
ing any social relationships with others, I do not recom-
mend this approach, as it is likely to alienate you.
My final solution thus far, and probably the best I
have come up with to date is to work with the person to
solve the problem. By t his I mean offer to help the
"complainer" to resolve the problem. Helping to solve
the problem can be done in a number of ways. In my
experience, the best learning experience comes when
the "complainer" is asked a series of questions. Each
time they successfully answer a question progress has
been made towards the solution. After a number of rep-
etitions of this process, eventually a point is reached
when the "complainer" knows the questions that should
be asked, and as a result is able to work independently
towards a solution. The only two drawbacks to this
solution that I can see are the amount of time consumed
in the repetitions of the process, and the need for the
person helping the "complainer" to know a general
direction in which to lead the "complainer" towards the
solution. On the other hand, this solution inherently
encourages more people to help train others in solving
problems. Similar to when champagne is poured into
the first gJass in a pyramid. as the gJass fills with cham-
pagne, it overflows and passes the champagne to the
next level. When the first person willing to help
becomes proficient at it, he or she is able to train many
in the art of helping, and as they become proficient, they
to can help, and hence the pyramid grows.
As you can see, this problem of people who complain
but do not act has a number of solutions. It is up to each
and every person "solver" to implement the solution
they feel best suits the situation. In the end, rm sure we
can reach a point where there is a world of competent
people who are capable of doing more that complain-
ing.
B
r T
e 0
w u
e r
r
y
The Shadows Are Coming ....
Mike Hermann
2A Systems - The Far Syde
IW Ass/stant Editor
S
ince I'm writing this at the last minute, and I
don't have a really good topic, I'm going to use
this space to plug another one of my pet pro-
jects. Monica Milanowski and I are the Shadow Day
Directors this term, and things are starting to shape
up. Shadow Days are scheduled for Tuesday,
March 4, and Wed.r1esday, March 5. We'll be look-
ing for lots of volunteers, so keep your eyes peeled.
For anybody who doesn't know what Shadow Day
is, that's ok Shadow Day is an outreach program that
brings in High School kids from all over to spend a day
with an Engineering student The Shadow name comes
from the plans for the High School student to follow his
or her "Shadowee" around for the day. While some
activities are planned for the afternoon, the goal is to
take the young student to some lectures or labs and let
them see what happens. Or doesn't happen as the case
maybe.
In the afternoon there will be presentations on
Admissions (by Kim Boucher, Associate Director of
AdmissiOns), the Co-op process (by John Westlake, the
Co-op director for Engineering), the different programs
available in Engineering (by Students), and on various
areas of life in the faculty, from Workterm experiences
to Exchanges to student projects.
We're still in the organizational stages, and now we
need to begin gathering our volunteers. That means
you can be a part of the incredibly exciting program.
We need people to be "Shadowees", help with match-
ing people up in the mornings, and to run the various
program presentations. If you're part of a student pro-
ject, or some group that would like to have an opportu-
nity to let students come and hear what you have to
say, let us know. The students will be able to choose
which of the various presentations they would like to
see. To volunteer, send us e-mail at either
mhermann@novice or mmiJanow@novice. There will be
posters and sign-ups sheets distributed. to the orifice
and all classes, so there will be plenty of opportunity to
participate.
We're hoping that this will be a huge success, and
with your participation, we can make it one. If you're
interested in helping to show how great UW Engineer-
ing is, this is your chance. If you have any questions,
please contact Monica or I, and we'll be happy to
answer them.
Editor-In-Chief
Chris Foster
Assistant Editor
Michael Hennann
Iron Warrior Staff

Allison Annan
Richard Kuttner
Amy Kim
Aaron Leiba
Dylan Luhowy
Alex Matan
Caroline Page
Advertising Managers
Brehdii Boucbette
Bill Gray
Contributors
Brian Vidler
Mark Vidler
Wallace
Kim Whilear
Margaret \Vojtarowicz

Michael Wf.>trj
Darren Zacher
Zban Huan Zhou

Wa
r
r12r
contents

Weef
What it is and where it came from
5
CCES
An Open Letter and some Adventures
6
University Fees
Pres Mario tells us what goes to what
10
P**5
Points break-down
17
Bill's Travels
More excellent adventures
14-15
Arts
Engineers have many talents ...
18-19
RON ARRIOR
Keeping Waterloo Engineering On Top
~
\ J ~ m ~ ~
~
W
y is the University of Waterloo Engi-
neering Program so successful? What
makes this the number one Engineering
school in Canada, maybe even North America?
High Quality Professors? Top Students? Up to Date
Lab Equipment? Computing Resources unmatched
at any other university? A Drive for Excellence? A
plethora of opportunities to participate in Engineer-
ing Competitions and Projects? The first and the
best Co-op program world-wide?
Well, the answer is YES for all the above reasons and
three of those reasons are direct beneficiaries of an idea
from two fourth year students, eight years ago.
Legend has it that the WEEF was conceived in 1989
by a pair of engineering students. A vi Belinsky and
John Vellinga, the guilty parties, saw this vision during
a conversation they were having over a beer in POETS.
It was a response to the need they saw for improving
the quality of Undergraduate Engineering at Waterloo.
In 1990 their vision was fulfilled when. the Voluntary
Student Contributions to the WEEP was approved by
student referendums on both A and B Soc. Ninety-five
percent of students voted in favour and thus the first
student donations were made to the WEEP via the VSC
in the summer of 1990. At the same time provisions
were made so that Engineering Alumni (via the
Plumber's Pledge) and companies (via Employer
Matching Contributions) could donate to the WEEP.
The WEEF works by investing accumulated dona-
tions (the WEEF principle) and spending the interest
Kamll Pawlowski
3A Comp - Xorclsts
Ass/stant. Director WEEF
I
ts been really cold in Waterloo t.hese last two
weeks. So cold in fact that the devil himself has
probably invested in a good pair of thermal
underwear, and an electric blanket. Just when the
cocoon warmth of Helix was beginning to th.aw me
out, it got a lot colder really, really fast. On Jan. 8 a
message appeared in all the E&CE news groups
calling for a boycott of the WEEF to protest the
Dean's handling of the E&CE fourth year room
move. I've included the message at the end of this
article. Specifically, at issue is a pool table donated
by E&CE Alumni which has not retaken its place in
our study room since the move.
While the WEEF is voluntary, and anybody can
come to the ORIFICE and get their contribution back
(in the first three weeks of term), taking it back because
you can't get your way with the Dean of Engineering is
not a great idea. The fact is that this only hurts matters.
First, it hurts future grads and current students by not
increasing the funds available for them to spend on the
parts of their education that they think are important
made on that principle. The WEEP principle is invested
mostly into guaranteed investments and to a small
extent into very low risk investments. UW Financial
Services controls the investments, and processes the
accrued interest and payments against the fund.
Every term a request for funding proposals is
announced to the departments of engineering. These
proposals must be designed to improve the quality of
undergraduate engineering at Waterloo. Any under-
graduate student, or member of the engineering facul-
ty, can submit a proposal. The proposals are reviewed,
and a decision as to how the money is spent is made by
a group of students, the WEEF reps, who constitute the
Funding Council. Each class has one vote!
The decision of the WEEF reps is reviewed by the
WEEP Board of Directors (a council made up of student
members), the WEEF Directors focA and ,B S<x:, the A
and B Soc Eng Soc presidents, a representative from
industry (Mr. John Burgsma CEO of Union Gas), John
Vellinga, an advisor from financial services (Geoff
Weller), and the Dean of Engineering. Once it has been
passed, the WEEF Endowment Director spends the
money.
Since it was started the WEEF principle, mostly
donated by students, has grown to over 2.1 million dol-
lars. It is growing at a rate of about $33O,(XX) per year
with between 60% and 95% (with an average of 65%)
of Undergraduate Engineers currently donating every
term. This year the WEEP plans to spend on the order
of $160,(XX). Lets put this annual spending figure into
perspective. The Dean has a budget for new equipment
which rotates between departments within the Faculty.
It comes out to about $100,(XX) per year per faculty. In
short, your money through the WEEP is not a drop in
the bucket! Your WEEF donations make a Significant
difference!
Let's look to the future. At the term's end the WEEP
will have spent $700,(XX) over its six year existence. If
the WEEF grows at its current rate, the principal will
exceed $2.4 million dollars as of May I, the start of the
new fiscal year. This summer, assuming the current
nine percent return, the WEEF will be able to allocate
$65'(xx). For the first time, funding will exceed student
contribution for the term. This is a big moment for the
WEEF, as it is the defining moment that the founders
and contributors envisioned many years ago; a con-
stantly improving Engineering Undergraduate Pro-
gram, courtesy of the Engineers of the past, present and
future.
Quick Facts On WEEF
Officially started in 1990
Founders: John Vellinga and A vi Belinsky
-Two fourth year students responding to what
they saw as a need for improving Undergraduate
Engineering at Waterloo
Current Principal: $21 million
Amount of Interest being spent this year: $150, (XX)
Almost all the principal has been donated by stu-
dents through the Voluntary Student Contribu-
tions or through Plummer's Pledge.
Second, it does nothing to affect the Dean, other than
get him angry, and make the protesters look unreason-
able. The money spent by the WEEP is not part of the
Dean's budget. He has little say in how it is spent He
is on the board of directors, but this body does not
decide who gets money. Essentially this kind of protest
is like purposely shooting yourself in the foot before a
marathon. The marathon is the rest of your life, where
your degree is one of your feet; you are not going to
get very far without it. The WEEF directly increases
the value of your degree by buying new equipment
and funding student projects. The aster WEEF grows,
the more cool stuff Engineering Students can buy. To
their credit, most 4th year E&CE students will have
nothing to do with this boycott
fu short, as many people will point out, taking your
WEEP contribution back because you are angry at the
Dean, the University, or life in general is not solving
anybody's problems, especially not yours! Problems
like this one should be addressed at the source, and
with those involved.
Approximate Spending distribution is 75% teach-
ing/ lab equipment (computers, departmental labs,
etc), and 25% Student Projects (Midnight Sun,
Concrete Toboggan..)
Last summer, students donated $58,000 to the
WEEF. This summer, we will be distributing
about $65,(XX) (if all things stay the same). This will
be the first time that students will get more for
their dollar than they put in
Newsgroups: uw.ece.ele2a, uw.ece.ele3a,
uw. ece.ele3b, uw.ece.ele4b, uw.ece.com3a,
uw.ece.com4b
Any of you who knaw me will knaw that I don't nor-
mally do this, in fact I am usually part of the crusade that
convinces people NOT to get their WEEF back. This
term, however, I am a bit perturbed.
So seeing as haw I can't exactly refuse to pay my fees,
this is the only way I can think of to protest to the Detln
in a manner to which he might listen. When it comes
time to fill out a form for my Plummer's Pledge,I'll write
a big fat goose-egg an mine. Yup, they're not getting a
cent.
Now I don't want to seem ungrateful, I really do
appreciate the education I have received from UW. But
mare than that however, I do NOT appreciate the man-
ner in which ru? cue being treated as students. I will am-
tinue to support UW financially only after our recre-
ational equipment resumes its righlful place in our fourth
yearroom..
Darren Zacher
Sun Of a Bit/ - ELECOM '97
... cmttinured from cover
so as to make it applicable to Canadian conditions. He
also explained that the Seven felt that the best way to
begin would be to place the Ritual in the control of the
Engineering Alwnni Associations in the respective
Canadian Universities, beginning that year with the
University of Toronto. The proposal to turn control
over to the Engineering Alumni Associations was sub-
sequently abandoned as will be seen later from the fact
that, in March 1926, the text of the Book of Authority,
providing for the delegation of authority by the Seven
for the establishment of Camps, was submitted to and
approved by Kipling, and that no reference is made
therein to the Engineering Alumni Associations.
On April 22, 1925, Mr. Kipling cabled his approval of
the amended Ritual and the statement of procedure
outlined in Dr. Fairbairn's letter of March 31st, and sent
a letter of confirmation the same day.
FollOwing the finalization of the fonn and content,
the Inaugural Ceremony was held on April 25, 1925 at
the University 000 of Montreal. Since that time, under
the guidance of The Corporation of the Seven Wardens,
Inc./Society des Sept Gardiens Inc. (as that original
group came to be known) 24 Camps have been estab-
lished in Canada, each with 7 prominent local obligated
engineers as Camp Wardens. The Camps administer
the ritual and guard its landmarks. Each camp is locat-
ed adjacent to a university that has an engineering
school, but is in no way affiliated with the university.
The Charter of Camp 15 Waterloo was granted in
1%2 and the Camp was inaugurated on September 18,
1962 when the Book of AuthOrity was presented to the
petitioning engineers. Nineteen engineers were obligat-
ed at the first ceremony on March 23,1963 and one
hundred and five University of Waterloo graduating
RON
engineers were obligated and ringed on ]un 4, 1963.
Currentl , approximately 650 Uniyersity of Waterl
graduating students and some senior engineers are
obligated and ringed annually. By 1996, approximately
15,200 candidates had been obligated and ringed b
Camp 15.
Debllnk:ing the Myths
Many misunderstanding and ina curaci have
arisen over the years, due in part to th private nature
and deliberate lack of publicity accorded to th Ritual.
Myth - Graduating engineers tudents are automati-
cally entitled to receive and wear an iron ring. This
is not true.
Fact - The iron ring is a symbol which signifies that
the bearer has attended the Ritual of the Calling of
an Engineer and has voluntarily taken the obliga-
tion. Successful completion of an accredited engi-
neering program at University is only a prerequi-
site to enable candidates to attend the Ritual, make
the Obligation and receive the iron ring. Accep-
tance of the ring is voluntary.
Myth - The Ritual is a religious ceremony.
Fact - The Ritual is a sincere and dignified ceremony.
The author, Rudyard Kipling, was pre-eminent in
his day; he was the laureate of the British Empire,
of which the Dominion of Canada was part. In cre-
ating the ritual, Kipling drew upon available and
familiar resource material, using passages from the
Bible. The end result is not a religious ceremony,
but an allegorical text with relevant meaning to the
philosophical and practical aspects of the life of the
engineer.
Myth - The Ritual has sexist over-
tones.
Fact - When the Ritual was created,
there were virtually no females in
the profession. Several references
originally were made to the male
gender, both in the text and poet-
ry in the Ceremony. More recent-
ly, changes have been made to
the text to make it gender 11 ulral.
Some male gender references
have been retained in th poetry
(e.g. ''Th ns of Martha") after
due consideration and a d ision
not to alter that part of Kipling's
work
Myth - The Ceremony is a secret
affair or ritual.
If you're always on the go take us With you.
A pager from BeU Mobility is the easy and affordable
way to stay tn the loop.
Fact - Kipling decreed that "while
these are no mystery - they are
neither for the public nor the
press," in reference to affairs and
proceedings of the Camp. The
Wardens of Camp 15 interpret
this dictum literally - only obligat-
ed engineers are allowed to wit-
ness/participate in the Ceremo-
ny. No publicity of any kind is
permitted; cameras and recorders
are prohibited. It is a personal,
dignified event. Some Camps
allow invited (non-obligated)
guests such as family members,
Bell Mobility
spouses, etc. to witness th Ceremony. To date this
has not been t11 policy of Camp 15.
Myth - Th original rings were made from elements
of a failed bridge.
Fact - Kipling ugg ted rings made of "cold iron".
On Jun 2,1925 h \\.TOte, in a letter to Mr. Fairbairn
" ... Th Ring is now an Ancient Landmark, not to be
deviated from. It is an allegory in itself. It is rough,
as th mind of a young man. It is not smoothed off
at th edges, any more than the character of the
young. It is hand-hammered all round - and the
young ha e all their hammerings coming to them.
It has neither beginning n r end, any more than the
work of an Engineer, or, as we now know, space
itself."
In more recent years, the rings, still hand-ham-
mered, have been made of stainless steel to increase
their longevity.
Myth - "The ring" is associated with Professional
Engineers Ontario or the University of Waterloo.
Fact - The Obligation Ceremony and the ring are not
related to either organization. Only individuals
who have voluntarily attended the Ritual and have
made the obligation are entitled to wear the iron
ring. Membership in PEO or any other profession-
al or technical organization is totally separate and
unrelated.
The facilities of University of Waterloo are used by
Camp 15 (with great appreciation for their continu-
ing cooperation) for the sake of logistical conve-
nience.
No doubt there are many other myths, now and in
the future, that will arise, in regard to the Ri tual. under-
standable - given the private and personal nature of the
event.
A personal note - when I first attended the Ritual as a
graduating engineering student in 1970, I was largely
uninfonned concerning the Ceremony and the tradi-
tion. Since that time, becoming involved in Camp 15
activities, I have come to appreciate the Significance and
ongoing relevance of the Ceremony and particularly,
the Obligation. It is n most intl:rc:ting ,mel wol1h\\ hile
undcrt<lkinp,; llll'gl' alll'liHibl\ ,lIldid.lks tl) .lppn 1l'h
the t','\.'nt in .l thoughthll and 'riolls 1l1.)nl1 'J'. Com ' 10
thl' Introductory \.<'CtUf(' (you willl'l( infOlmt'J wtWn2
and when) PI' 'pelr i to b' ini'onlwd .lnd with our
que tions, if you haY<.' any. Many of Uw ,mlp m '11)-
bers attend and are most willing to anSWl'\, qlll'til'.S.
The Ritual, ring and ring dc ign are uniqu 'Iy nnadi-
an; protect d by anadian ilnd US copyrights .lnd
trademark registrati ns. We aU Ix )mc part of a prl ud
profession with a hist ry and tradition of contributing
to the building of our country and ind!ed, the world.
Be prepared to become a part of that r o f s s ~ I\ recog-
nizing the responsibilities w aJJ must assum . Partici-
pating in the Ritual, making the Obligation and receiv-
ing the ring all make for a greatbcginning!
1 Extract from HistonJ of the Ritual of the CaJling of an
Engineer, oompiled from official docUll1enis by the Chief War-
den of The Corrwation of the Seven Wardells Inc. and issued
under its authority, 1985.
RON ARRIOR
in Sherbrooke, PQ
An open letter to the Dean of Engineering on CCES '97
January 9,1997
Dr. OJ. Burns
'Dean, Faculty of Engineering
University of Waterloo
Waterloo, ON
N2L3G1
Dear Dr. Burns:
As a CCFS delegate from Engineering Soci-
ety B, I attended a variety of workshops and con-
ferences at CCFS '97 in Shetbrooke, Quebec from
January 2 to January 8, 1997. While I was able to
leam a lot at each of these, one workshop in par-
ticular demonstrated Waterloo Engineering's
leadership. This workshop, entitled ''Internation-
a] Exchanges", was attended by students from
every engineering student society in Canada.
The goal of the workshop was to learn about the
Jason Worry
2A Systems - The Far Syde
I
arrived in a jeep, driven by a trusted friend,
around 9am on the first day of tl1e conference.
There we got our room and waited for fue engi-
neers from Ontario to arrive later to find fuat fue bus
fuat fuey were all coming in on had been delayed in
Ottawa.
Soon everyone arrived and fue conference could offi-
cially begin. It's very different attending fue Congress of
Canadian Engineers Societies when you were part of
the organizing committee fue prior year. Actually it
enlightens and warms your insides when you see a
conference running smoothly when you down right
know that fuere are problems left, right and centre.
Workshops were varied ranging from determining
your personal traits and the type of person that you are
to receiving official feedback about the Federal Funding
cutbacks to the universities to tactics to entice more
international exchanges that are available across
Canada. Many issues were discussed, including:
- The exd1ange programmes offered at each
university
- How each university supports and
encourages students to go abroad
- The costs associated with the programme
- Commercial and industria] support
During fue workshop it became apparent that
the University of Waterloo has one of the best
engineering exchange programmes in the country.
Waterloo Engineering is unique in the level of
resources available for students interested in inter-
nationaJ exchanges; its scope of intemationaJ work
term placements, the choice of international
schools, and the sheer number of students place in
the programme each year.
All of the schools that participated in the
workshop agreed that these student excl1anges
provide an excellent opportunity for students to
experience another culture. Those who participate
in such programmes benefit from alternate teach-
ing methods and become more well rounded.
As a result of the session at CCES 97, a Letter
will be sent to the dean of engineering at every
school across Canada. This letter will outline the
support that CFFS has for these programmes and
will ask that fue deans also support international
exchanges. I would urge you to make every effort
to ensure that the University of Waterloo Engi-
neering Faculty continues to set the standard for
intemationaJ exchanges well into the future.
Yours truly,
MarkVidler
Participation Director, Eng Soc B
Adven ures at
CCES '97
involvemen t of engineers in society events.
The Project Magazine people were there again Hi to
Sandra, Charlene, and Crash once again ... another year
has passed and stories were needed to be told. They
were there publishing a daily newsletter that included
news releases that were missed at dinner, quoteable
quotes, and songs that had been made up the night
before hand. There was a taJ-eng night that was typified
by many different interesting songs and "talents".
However, Waterloo again stole the show showcasing
the magical talents of Sarah Davies and Greg Jones with
Mimael Worry MC'ing and cl1ainsawing (wuhool).
During this magic show, Sarah was able to guess a cho-
sen card (with the help from a cell phone), she was cut
in half using a chain saw (don't worry, we greased. the
edges) and Greg showed in slow detail how to make a
ring disappear.
Of course, there were industrial tours one of which
was to CAE Electronics. They specialize in aeronautical
flight sin1ulators and production of airplanes. This tour
had in depth anaJysis of how flight simulator helmets
work, and walked through a flight simulator. Oh by the
way the starting salary for an engineer is $34,(XX). Sorry
about the corporate plug there and no I'm not being
paid.
The plenary session where all of the motions detail-
ing what the CFFS executive and different organiza-
nons are to do in the following year was long and use-
ful. However, John ''Fabes'' Faber decided to extend the
plenary session by fifty minutes and was punished later
on that night during the festivities. Just ask him about
Constitution rule 12-5.
Anyways, the week needed to end and all delegates
needed sleep and lots of medicine to get over all of their
colds. The people said goodbye and boarded their
many different means of transportation. The ESSCO
bus home was mucl1 quicker this time through, but I
must say that that was the first time that I have actually
watched that many consecutive movies in a row: totaJ =
6.5.
RON
The Great Secret
James Wallace
18 Civil
E
realize that in writing this essay I
may very well be condemning my
fe. I take full responsibility for
whatever repercussions may result
from divulging the Great Secret to the
general populace. However, I am a
great believer in the truth. I believe
that the truth must be told, and told
honestly without withholding any-
thing, no matter how dire the conse-
quences. That is why I have chosen to
share the Great Secret with you. I
suggest that you find a quiet place
before you read on, so as to ensure
that you will not be interrupted. Try
to accept what I have to say rationally;
please do not overreact to this cata-
strophic news. When you have fin-
ished reading my essay, calmly sit
down and think about what I have
shared with you, think about how the
world has managed to deceive so
many people for so long, and think
about why it is important that you do
nothing. Flying off the handle will
not help correct the problem I will
illustrate to you. Knowledge will.
Share this essay with everyone you
know. Make copies and share them
with many. Only by letting the world
know about the Great Secret can any-
thing be done about it. Not as a
nation, but as an entire planet of
human beings we can cahnly and qui-
etly correct the problem. But first, I
must tell you about the Great Secret!
Your clock is fast.
That's the big secret. Your clock is
fast How do I know that? I know that
every clock is fast. Time, as we know it
on earth, is fast. I suspect time to be
nearly 34 minutes and 24 seconds fast.
That means that while you may think
that you are sitting down at twelve noon
to eatlunch, it is actually 11:25:36 AM. I
first noticed this some time ago just
watching the sun during my midday
repast Now don't go out and do
thing crazy like setting back all the
clocks you can find. That won't solve
anything, but it will ensure that you'll be
late for any appointments that you ever
make. What needs to be done is to
explain this secret to everyone: the mail-
man, the grocer, the garbage collector,
everyone. Once the whole world knows
that the clocks must be set back 34 min-
utes we can all change our docks t0geth-
er. This way nobody will be complain-
ing about being late or early for any-
thing.
I know this is hard to comprehend.
You are probably a little bit doubtful too.
Let me explain how it came to be that
our clocks are off by so much. It has
taken centuries for our clocks to be off,
which is the main reason why it went
unnoticed for SO long. Some time ago
man became dependent on a device
referred to as a clock. As the years pro-
gressed man invented other timepieces
by which to live, but these inventions all
became addictive oppressors. With the
invention of clock man began to live by
what time his clock read (for any femi-
nists who think I should use less gender-
specific words; you can just blame the
whole affair on the men - after all, it's
always our fault, right?).
To continue, as man started living his
life by the hour, meetings began to start
at set times and appointments were set
for exact hours of the day. The work
day started at an official hour. Instead of
getting together tomorrow night, we got
together tomorrow at seven o'clock
sharp. This in itself is fine and dandy.
There are all kinds of benefits from orga-
nizing one's day like this. For example,
it is much easier for the to
start the movie at five after seven that it
is to wait all night to make sure they
don't start the film before everyone has
arrived.
The problem arose with the busier,
more important people of the world. In
order to ensure that they make all their
appointments on time, these busy
important people set their clocks ahead
by five minutes. That way they would
be running ahead of themselves and
have a little extra slack if they ever got
behind. Five minutes early is always
better than being five minutes late after
all.
I am sure they did not intentionally
mean to do it, but in setting their clocks
ahead five minutes, all these busy
important people wound up pushing
world time ahead with them. This
didn't happen overnight, or course, but
very gradually over a small number of
centuries. You see, busy important pe0-
ple are exactly that busy important pe0-
ple. In order to work with them, their
assistants had to set their times ahead
too, and soon entire places of business
were running fast. This meant that the
townsfolk had to start running fast too.
The busy important people unknowing-
ly started a ripple, not unlike dropping a
pebble in a puddle (say that five times
fast), that affected the entire world. To
make things worse, once the general
populace had caught up to the busy
important people, the busy important
people were no longer operating five
minutes ahead; they were on time again.
And SO the cycle would repeat itself.
If you're wondering how it is that
every clock in the world is 34 minutes
and 24 seconds fast when the busy
important people adjusted their
pieces by five minute increments then
congratulations, you are one of the few
of this world who think. Not many
would make the connection. The sin'ple
explanation is that none of the busy
important people moved their clocks
ahead with the knowledge that others
were doing this. They operated
pendently. Also, as the populace gradu-
ally caught up, minute by minute, some
of these so-called busy important people
would adjust their clocks purposely to
be exactly five minutes fast. This meant
that when the townspeople were two
minutes fast, they were seven. This
would vary from city to city too, so
while London was eleven minutes fast,
Paris was twelve. Thankfully, today's
hi-tech media tools and high speed com-
munications have allowed the world to
standardize time. In 1996 the time in
Toronto is the same as the time in
Detroit, so we all know when to tum 00
our television sets to watch the Leafs
win (or lose). We standardized time, but
not the correct time.
living in a world of atomic clocks and
various methods of calculating the exact
time by the position of celestial bodies
down to the nanosecond, you must be
wondering where I get off telling you
that the scientific world is giving us the
wrong time. Well, let me tell you that
the scientific world knows that the
world's tim is off. In fact, they know
exactly by how much the world's time is
off, - precise down to the nanosecond -
whereas I am only mak:ir)g a very good
estimation. There is a simple explana-
tion as to why nobody has said
thing before: govenunent suppression!
The world's governments know that all
our clocks are fast and they have all
agreed - or at 1 ast the United States has
agreed for veryone - that letting the
general populace know that all the
clocks in the world are fast would create
widespread havoc and chaos. The
world's workforce would leave their
jobs to leisurely relish their newfound
extra 34 minutes and/or demand an
extra 34 minutes of pay. Let us not for-
get the panicked craze that would result
from five billion people all dashing to
change their clocks.
Due to the massive government
cover-up, you must be discreet as you
copy and pass on the essay. Be careful
who you give this to. Do not put your
name, my name or anybody else's name
on it lest prying eyes fall upon it Most
of all, be patient. The time will come
when the world will demand the clocks
to be set right It may take months, or
even years depending on how well you
pass on this secret. Be diligent and per-
sistent. The truth will be told
EXCHANGE WEEK
January 28 to 31, 1997
Interested in finding out about engin ring exchange Pl"Ob'Tams?
Meet with Prof. Herb Ratz, Director, Engineering' dumg PI'Ob'Ttlm'lon
Monday, January V, 11:30 a.m. or Tuesday, January 28, 4:00 p.m.
inCPH-1320B
Also,
meet UW students who have been on engineering exchanges!!
in the CPH foyer, outside of POElS
11:30 a.rn. to 1:30 p.rn. on the foUowing days:
Tuesday: France, Switzerland, Denmark, Holland
Wedn::!sday: Germany
Thursday: Japan, South Korea, Singapore
Friday: Australia, England, Ireland
Information is also amilable about Engineering Exchange Programs on WATST AR by
typing "exchange" at the 005 prompt.
RON
New Battery Disposal Box
David Caldarelli
Off-Term Director (now On-Term)
3A Computer (XORcists)
H
ey everyone. There is going to be a new box
in the Orilice for dead batteries. Whenever
you have some, drop them off here instead
of throwing them out, and then someone will take
them to the dump on Erb St. to be properly disposed
of. That's the meat of this article. However, if you
still don't feel like paying attention to whatever class
you are in, here is a little story from my work term in
Waterloo. This is how I got the idea.
I usually use AA rechargeable batteries in my walk-
man, and anything else which needs them, simply
because it's much cheaper. Even though they say that
they last for five years, I've got some that are almost ten
years old and going strong. So when my camera batter-
ies died, and I was left with two dead AAA alkaline bat-
teries, it was the first time in a while that I had to consid-
er what to do with them.
My first thought was to simply toss them in the near-
est garbage can, and go buy two more, but then some-
thing stopped me. I had some fuzzy memory that back
in the '80s, someone decided that throwing batteries in
the regular garbage was bad. I think it's because they
leak acid everywhere. So, working on this hunch, I
went to Radio Shack to buy some new AAA's, and see
if they happened to accept dead ones. The answer was
"I can take them, but I'll just throw them in the
garbage". To the best of the clerk's knowledge, no
stores have any kind of battery disposal system. So I
held on to them.
A few days later I decided to look through the blue
pages in the phone book, and after a few dead-end
phone calls, I started getting fOlwarded all around K-W
by a bunch of people who found my idea somewhat
novel, but who couldn't really help me. I was starting
to wonder if I had dreamed up the whole thing about a
battery disposal system ever existing.
Eventually, someone in some city office recommend-
ed that I phone the Erb St Landfill (I think that's what it
is called). Finally success! If you bring your dead bat-
teries there, they will ensure that they are disposed of
properly. But there's a catch. .. it turns out that there are
only certain days you can bring them in. I don't know
how many such days there are, but I made these calls in
November sometime, and I was told that the next bat-
tery day would be January 25.
So, I'm still holding on to those two AAA's, and now
I also have a 9V from a clock-radio, four C's from my
computer speakers, and two more AAA's from some-
where. I figured my efforts might make more of a dif-
ference if most of Engineering would also stop throw-
ing out old batteries, and bring them down to the drop
box in the Orifice at some convenient time. If you have
any now, please try to get them in before Jan 25, and
thanks for doing your part for the environment
1/0 No Mo
"Somewhere my prints will come" or "Honey, I changed the GAFF"
Paul McKone
UW Engineering Computing
TI
e old Engineering Output Centre (in CPR
2367, the GAFF) ceased to exist at the end of
the 1996 fall term. In its place is a new facility
that offers 24-hour output, along with the ability to
use a Watcard to transfer money to user printing
accounts. A filed-output printer continues to pro-
vide the security and guaranteed quality that users
enjoyed from the previous system.
A special Watcard swipe station is available outside
the Engineering Computer User Support Centre (in E2-
1308, the ECUSC). It allows users to transfer money in
five-dollar increments to their Watstar printing
accounts, twenty-four hours a day. Refunds may be
made to the user's central Watcard account (Food Ser-
vices) by an online Watstar request. This greatly simpli-
fies the previous system that required the user to pur-
chase a $10 printing services card from the Cashier's
Office in Needles Hall, bring it to the operator to have
the amount added, then reverse the process to obtain a
refund of the unused balance.
A new, smaller I/O room has been constructed in the
GAFF. This new arrangement features a through-the-
wall print hopper (as in the other public Watstar
Movie Review:
The English Patient
Shelley Carter
38 Mechanical
TI
iS weekend I went to see "The English
Patient" with a couple of friends. As I don't
have a T.V., I had never heard of it and had no
rooms), so that users in the GAFF can obtain their out-
put at any time. Another printer inside the new Output
room provides for filed-outputonly, so that "sensitive",
or "best quality" printout is protected. from the eyes and
hands of other users. Output will be filed during work-
ing hours, and kept locked up at night. As always, qual-
ity guarantees and refunds will be in effect for filed-out-
put jobs, but will not apply for through-the-wall jobs.
Colour printer output remains much the same as it has
been: users need to manually release the job (to avoid
printing unnecessary, unwanted mistakes). The results
will be filed with other output at regular intervals dur-
ingtheday.
The old Engineering Output Centre was staffed by
the Department of Computing Services. As part of its
reorganization and integration with Data Processing
and Telephone Services, support for this room has been
withdrawn In order to provide - and in some ways to
improve - service to our users, the Engineering Com-
puting department has undertaken these changes.
Additional information on changes made to the oper-
ation of the Engineering Output Centre can be found by
typing "HELP IOROOM" or "HELP WATCARD"
while logged onto Watstar. Questions and comments
regarding this or other computing issues may be posted
to the newsgroup uw.watstar.
idea what to expect. I was pleasantly surprised.
The movie takes place in the deserts of Africa around
the time of the second world war. A Canadian nurse is
caring for a dying man in an abandoned monastery.
The movie tells the story of his life. I don't want to ruin
the movie for anyone who is planning to see it, but I
highly recommend it. It was a very good movie with a
story line and amazing scenery. Go see it. (If you
weren't too thrilled with "The Nutty Professor", you'll
thoroughly enjoy this one.)
RON lOR
Cultural Deprivation:
Darren Zacher
48 Comp - Sun Of a Bit! (ELECOM '97)
E
M SCI 311, we learned about how an organiza-
tion should be managed to run effectively. We
so learned about sOIX\ething termed organiza-
tional culture which refers to social traditions found
among its members. These traditions are seldomly
related to the core purpose of the organization, yet
they serve to improve productivity essentially by
keeping the members happy. A good example of our
organizational culture as students in engineering
would be the time we spend hanging out in POETS.
Spending time in POETS certainly gjves us no direct
academic benefit, but it allows us to relax, build rela-
tionships and have an overall better experience here
at UW. But this article is supposed to be about how
E&CE fourth year students are fighting for their
recreational furniture so 'iNhy does it start with a
paragraph on organizational theory?
My description of organizational theory is intentional.
In M SCI we also learned how an organization can
become disfunctional when management does not
respect the organizational culture of its subordinates.
The Faculty of Engjneering is an organization; it has a
well-defined structure and behaves like any other "real
organization" (e.g. in industry). Within the faculty, we
the students have a fair amount of organizational cul-
ture. This ranges from Frosh week to playing cards with
classmates; anything that we do to socialize. It is no sur-
A Case Study
prise then, that when the >ean's offi banned ru..-'<:E
students' recreational (urniture h caused a ba kla h
among them. Perhaps the Dean's offi could ben fit b
taking some advice from its neighbours in the depart-
ment of Management Science. After all, how would
they feel if we banned their teatime?
For the interested reader, below is a brief history of
the events leading up to the current dilemma. Every
attempt has been made to ensure that what follows is
historically accurate.
S 1994 - The Dean's office announces the Environ-
mental program, planS are made for a new build-
ing to help accorrunodate space requirements.
W 1995 - Funding is approved for the new building.
the cute little "Jobs Ontario" sign goes up by the
Physics parklng lot- attendants beware!
F 1995 - Funding gets cut for the new building. after
the first class of Enviro's has been accepted. Two
words: Oh @#$%!!! Space becomes precious.
W 1996 - In preparation. for the renovations to the
Mechanical homeroom. on the 2nd floor of El, it is
announced that the E&:C:E fourth year room will be
moving to the third floor of 1.
S 1996 - The Dean's office informs the E&CE stu-
dents that it will not be providing the resources to
There are 14 Privately Ovvned
Islands in the Caribbean.
I only want one
Michael Worry
4B Electrical - Omega Sector
Past Conference Organizer
Y
OU step out of your Lear Jet into the warm
Caribbean air. You casually notice in the dis-
tance the construction crews finishing the
installation of your 200 person hot tub within your
private resort. Nonchalantly you wave at the thou-
sands of flash bulbs going off all around you. A
reporter shoves a microphone forward, "Tell us,
what is the secret of your success?/I
You smile slyly and say, "Involvement. Passion.
Need for achievement."
The reporters nod with glazed looks on their faces
then furiously scribble down your words of wisdom
Another steps forward, "Give l.IS an example!/I
You raise one eyebrow and say, "For example, I
remember helping organize OEC 98 ..... /1
Do you own a LearJet? Do you own a Caribb an
island? No? Well me neither, what's with that, eh? But
anyways, this all could be yours if you choo your
path carefully. All joking aside, I helped with the orga-
nization of CCES '97 and 1 classify it as the most concen-
trated learning experience within my university career.
OEC is the Ontario Engineering Competition, an
annual conference that promotes excellence and inge-
nuity in engineering design and communications. Stu-
dents compete in categories such as Entrepreneurial
design, Corporate Design, Editorial Communications,
Explanatory Communications and Parliamentary
Debate for prizes of up to $25<X). In 1998, Waterloo with
be hosting OEC, offering a unique organization oppor-
tunity for anybody wishing to add another arrow to
their skillset quiver. From fundraising to budgeting to
scheduling there are lots of activities to become
involved with. I encourage those interested to e-mail
oec98@shim, or talk to Susan Lee.
move the pool tab!. ourth year tud nts get
r ourcefuI. disa m.bl th tab I and move it
themselves.
F 1996 - Th Dean' office informs the stud nt
(note: not th sam tudents a summer) tJ,at th
pool table is not to be _ tup.On-campu pies of the
off-strearn class mmunicate th situation. FUlth r
discussions are ini.tiated. with the Dean' office by
the off-stream cla . Th quickly go n wh re fast
because the Dean' offi refuses to release an offi-
cial tatement of why th tabl is not to be setup. A
campaign is initiated that contacted members of
alUlnni who initially donated the table. These alum-
ni wrote to the Dean's office, asking for a similar
statement. Again, nada. Meanwhile, the three
fourth-year classes discuss alternative locations for
the pool table failing to come to any consensus.
W 1997 - Realizing that the Dean's office isn't listen-
ing to its student body, nor its alumni, a few fourth
year students (now back on-stream) decide to boy-
cott WEEP Ul1til such t:i.n1e that the table takes its
place back in the fomth year room. Although one
cannot refuse to pay on's tuition, one can indirect-
ly apply financial pressure to the Dean's office by
hindering its partner :in financing.
POETS
Andre Brisson, Jason Kimball, Tony Campbell
P.O.E. T.S. Directors
P
hi is lllx'n for busllll\s. n,a!'s right fol"s!
What better way to . pend thosl' long, cold
hmw b lWl' 'n 1,1s " s than l>ilting down in
front of your favourite '1 V shows (th<.' pn'Vi(lUI)
nights, of course). lIave you ewr Sl'Cn all lilt' new
faces around th ' school? Fre )sh, 4f3s and Civils, how
will you ('vcr get to know lh mall? onllto POETS
and you might acluaJly Sl't t ml'('t some of the111.
Js your wallet g tting 100 light aln'ady? " nIt even
afford to rent movi '? That's OK, every 'J11ulbday anti
Friday is movi day. That's Ii ht, four, Y four, rnovk"i
a week! Only Hollywood's best for your vi 'Wing pJe,,-
sure (the word on th st.rcct is Star Wars trilogy; 'nd of
the month). Speaking of Thursday Jnd Friday,l 't's not
forget the beer! On those two magical days every we k
Bar Services graces POETS, as usual, with the barl 'y-
flavoured elixir of the gods.
Term Pubs, you ask? Without a doubt! Th BOT wa,>
a super hit last week and the Middl' ofTerrn Pub is fast
approaching and, rumour has it, that Ear may be held
at POETS as well. (Yippee!) So, remember folks, when
its -30 degrees outside, it's always wann and fun in
P.o .. E.T.S.
RON
University Fees
Not the End of the World, Just a Rough Approximation
Mario Bel/abarba
Fed-Pres Type Person
Stressed/ln vinCI VIL
I
'd like teil you all a little story about fees. Most of
you know exactly how much you paid in fees
this term, but I'm willing to bet that most of you
don't know where that money went, or even why it
was collected. Well, that's what this article is all
about...those fees (most of them non-refundable)
that don't immediately make a lot of sense when
you see them on the fee statement. The Table 1
shows the fees that I'm going to talk about, how
much they are, and who sets them. The list isn't
complete - I've left out CanCopy (a fee shrouded in
mys tery that keeps UW J;om getting sued every
time you use a photocopier) as well as the faculty
and department specific fees, the Waterloo Public
Interest Research Group fee and the Imprint fee, all
of which are set by the respective organizations in
consultation with their mem-
bers.
Tuition
Fu
OK, SO let's start with the big
one - Tuition. The level of Co-OpFee
Student Services Fee
tuition you pay is set by the
Federation of Students
government, and has been Health lnsurance
a stop to what were widely seen as arbitrary fees
designed to gouge students. They were eventually suc-
cessful, and the provincial government decreed that
these fees could only be set in consultation with stu-
dents. Thus was born the Student Services Advisory
Committee (SSAC), a committee composed of 6 stu-
dents and 5 UW administrators. The committees did a
usage study on all the areas of campus that could be
considered student services, and decided how much of
those services were "non-academic" and how much of
that non-academic portion the university should still be
obligated to pay. The fee was phased in over three
years, with the full fee being charged for the first time in
the Fall of 1996. Table 2 shows what is covered by the
SSP. Every year, the services listed in make a report to
the SSAC and they submit a 'I1\r,
are then applied and the SSF is determined tmm there.
The SSAC is responsible for approving the budgets, so
if there is an expenditure which they feel is unnecessary
and would result in an increase in the SSF, they can
$1608.00 Controlled by Gov't
$411 .00
$82.28
$23.60
$51.84
Set by the University
Set by the SSAC - read on
Set by under-grads at the Man:h Genera1 Meeting
Set by the Federation of Students
going up at a rate of about 10% Student Co-Ordinated Plan
per year (except last year) since Athletic Fee S3J.SO Set by the University
at least 1991 (1991 tuition; $973; Federation Hall $7.50 Fixed amount agreed to in 1983 referendum
Fixed amount agreed to in 1992 referendum S2S.50
1996: $1608; increase: 65%). ________ ...J
Table t: Just Part of the COlt of Getting an Education
Last year, tuition jumped
reject it. The service providers on our campus are, how-
ever, well aware of students' financial situations, and
they don't make frivolous requests for more funding to
theSSAC.
The Federation of Students Fee goes towards the ser-
vices provided by the Feels, including the salaries of the
Executive, concerts, special events such as Frosh Week
and Summerfest,
only via a campus-wide referendum.
Your Health Insurance Fee is the only refundable fee
I'll be discussing here. It can be refunded to you if you
have comparable coverage under another health plan
(usually your parents). This fee is set annually by the
presidents of the Peds and the Grad Students Associa-
tion, in consultation with the insurance broker (Wright,
Mogg), the insurance provider (Mutual) and the univer-
sity's Human Resources and Financial Services people
(they administer the plan for us and do most of the
paperwork, and they are of invaluable assistance in
making sure the plan runs smoothly). We have the best
plan in Canada, folks! Universities from across the
country start drooling when they hear about what our
plan covers, so think twice before getting your fee
refunded. Here's some of the stuff you get 80% cover-
age on prescription medication (plus, you only pay for
the first $10), 80% coverage for a chiropractor, physio-
therapist, psychologist (Max $5OO/year each), emer-
gency dental, ambulance, free birth control pills from
UW's Health Clinic, and more and more. You are also
covered for your work term at no extra cost
The Student Co-Ordinated Plan was agreed to via a
1992 referendum, and goes towards the Student Life
Fund (an endowment fund designed for improvements
to accessibility, safety and lounge space, in that order),
as well as paying the mortgage for the Student Life Cen-
tre expansion and the new North Campus Recreational
Facility. This fee is increased by CPI every year, and is
administered by the University through the SLC Man-
agement Board compooed of two Feds Exec, on under-
grad, one grad, and 2 UW Admin. The fee is in place
until 2012.
The Athletic Fee is a fee that all students pay to sup-
port our inter-university athletics programs. This
allows all students interested in participating in sports
to be able to do so without paying through the nose,
and is one of the only ways that some varsity teams are
able to support their activities. Presumably, Athletics
requests changes to
N_
roughly 20%, due to the government's decision to allow
universities more discretion in how they set their tuition
in order to make up for the 400 million dollar bite they
took out of Post Secondary Education (Waterloo's cut
was 18 million). A report recently put out by the Smith
panel (the panel that toured the province listening to
what Universities and Colleges had to say about them-
selves) recommends that each institution be allowed to
set their own tuition levels. The government has not
decided whether to adopt the recommendation, but it
does seem that the end of government-regulated tuition
is on the horizon, with individual universities being
allowed to decide how much students should have to
and the
Ombudsperson. It
DOES NOT go
towards any of the
Feds businesses.
Fed Copy Plus,
Variety and Post,
the Used Bookstore,
Scoops, the Bomb-
ACMIatk PorlIofI
the fee whenever
they feel it neces-
sary, although it's
only gone up $3 in
the last 5 years. pay for their education.
Your Co-Op Fee goes into the co-op program and is
designed to cover the costs of having you go through
their system. This fee is spread out over aU your school
terms - that's why you have to pay it even if you're
doing back-to-back school tcnns before or after a work
term. In recent years, there has been a lot of discussion
between Co-Op and SAC (Students Advising Co-Op)
in the setting of fees, with generally satisfactory results.
The Co-Op fee has only gone up 32%, from $312 to
$411, since I first paid it in the Fall of 1991, which is sig-
nificant, but not obscene. In case you're interested, it
should be noted that UW receives no money from the
government to help them run the co-op program.
The Student Services Fee (SSF) was introduced in the
Fall of 1994, around the time when universities across
Ontario started charging hundreds of dollars in ancil-
lary fees to cover so-called "non-academic" units on
campus, such as health services and counselling. The
Ontario Undergraduate Student Alliance COUSA), of
which we are members, lobbied the government to put

StIuIat Ctw.etI JIroqll y-
Uu hUW &SF SMn
Art GaJIy $62263 20% None $12453 $0.39
ELPE $159 ))8 90% None S14340S $04.49
Realm SeMoes 1489101 63% None S308 134 $9.6S
Safety Office $366 77S 4% Half $7 335 $0.23
Wa1Icu.fe $83821 100010 Half $41911 SUI
Athletics .t Rectuli.onal SI 383269 96% None $1327939 S41.S7
c.reer SeMoes 1472549 100% None 5472 549 S14.79
Penonal Counselling $669683 94% Half $314751 S9.8S
Total St.dcat Svices lite: $11.28
helter and Fed Hall
do not see a penny
of that $23.60. They
have to make
T&bIe 2: Student Servi.Cle$ Fee (SSf) Bralcdown For UodergrIds
The Federation
Hall Fee is not a
user fee. This fee
goes towards the
mortgage on Feder-
ation Hall, which is
owned by the Uni-
money on their own. The Fed Fee only goes to those
things that are providing a service to students and that
wouldn't normally make money (Legal Resource
Office, GWW, PAls Phoneline, etc ... ) and things that
we simply want to provide cheaply (concerts, special
events, ... ) The businesses provide important services to
students as well, but they are on their own and are
expected to cover their operating expenses. The Fed
Fee can be increased by the Consumer Price Index (CPI)
by a vote of the General Meeting in March (to which
you and all full-time undergrads are invited as voting
members), and can be increased by more than CPI, but
versity (as is every
other building on campus) and managed by the Feels.
The fee was agreed to in a 1983 referendum when the
decision was made to build Fed Hall, and we'll be pay-
ing it until 2005.
That's about it. If you made it through this far, I'm
impressed with your stamina. You now know a little
more about where your money is going. Remember,
you're paying for a lot of the stuff out there, so use it! If
you have any specific questions that I couldn't get to in
my general discussion, then drop by my office in the
SLC, or e-mail me at edpres@feds, and 111 help you out
however I can. Now go enjoy the rest of the term.
RON
Part - Time Jobs
Shelley Carter
38 Mechanical
H.
l1O everybody, welcome back to another
wonderfully exciting term at school. I'm
ure no one looked forward to it as much as
1. Just ask me about my workterm. Well, it seems
that somehow I was coerced into writing for the IW
this term, so here goes.
What was your very first job? Where you were paid
money, and not by a family member? Did your parents
make you get a job, or did you want to have one? What
made you want to get a job?
My first job was at a tourist camp, catering to mainly
American fishermen in the Canadian wilderness. Y e-
haw. I cooked, cleaned cabins, worked in the store,
pumped gas, babysat, you name it, I did it And I prob-
ably cleaned more toilets than most people do in a life.-
time, ten times over. But I made money and worked
about 40 hours a week every summer for three years.
To save money for university. I saved and saved and
saved. And learned the art of pretending to be patient
with, and courteous to, customers even when I wanted
to scream because my co-worker(s) hadn't shown up
for whatever reason. That only resulted in my working
ten or 12 hour days of manual labour at the speed of
light instead of my usual eight hours of work.
But fm sure it made me a better person and it definitely
got me here.
Why am I writing about" "my first job"? tho
is going through your head, or rna >be you're just read-
ing and not taking anything in at all, in which case I will
give you even more to read.) I work :i at home for m,
last work term and my dad was trying to encourage
my brother to get a job. He's 17 and is quite an interest-
ing little character.
He had his first real job la t sununer, working at
Robin's Donuts between fishing trips. He' a typical
Northwestern Ontario boy. He likes to hunt, fish, and
ride around on his variOus off road vehicles, once he .
gets them running. He somehow manages to acquire
old dirt bikes, three wheelers, and snowmachines that
don't work, and fixes them up SO he can ride them.
Usually my dad buys them. with the agreement that
Jamie will pay him back when he gets a job. In the
meantime he gets the bikes running, beetles off down
our country road, and shows up an hour or so later
pushing the bike up the road because it died. This is
only a minor setback. Once it's running again he's off
down the road, only to show up pushing the bike yet
again. "But it went even further this time before it
died." Of course that means he had to push it farther
home. Eventually he gets them running for a few days
or even a week without problems. Then he decides to
ride into town on the back roads to visit his friends.
OnLy to get busted by a ferrtale police officer who kind-
ly gives him a $300 fine. He still speaks of her fondly.
Yep. So, expenses are adding up and now would seem
like a good time to get that job.
My dad mentions it to him. "But
it's hunting season dad, I have to
get my deer. Maybe after hunting
season." Ok, hunting season
comes and goes with no deer.
And 'What comes after hunting
season? Ice fishing. So now we
have to wait until the ice melts,
just in time to ride the dirt bikes.
And then it's going to be fishing
season .. No, he's not too keen on
working. To each his own.
Special Pricing For Co.op Packages:
10 Resume Stock Copies
7 'Mllte Copies
CO-OP Job PostIngs
Package CoIIatIng/StapIng


snJDENT LIFE CENTRE, LOWER LEVEL
Mon-ftt eam.epn set 12noon-6P'n
Freedom of
Information
Boys and Their Toys
by Dylan Luhowy
2A Environmental Civil Engineering
lliYe in Villag One - in th ba ment. It's not
much like the pictures }' OU see in the UW brochures,
but it's oozy, and it' ni to be able to crank up the heat
on these cllilly winter day .
If you're an engineer like me, you probably notice
things that others miss, like Godiva' horse. Right now,
I'm noticing a cultural paradigm shift taking place in
the basement; one that is undoubtedly reshaping resi-
dence basements the world over. It's the one that trend
expert Faith Popcorn first identified. You're familiar
with Ms. Popcorn, I hope. She pointed out that men
and women (but, probably, mostly men) were increas-
ingly relying on technology, rather than social contact
out in public, to provide entertainment.
Nowhere is this trend more evident than in my resi-
dence basement. Today, J was heading toward the
washroom, when I noticed something strange. One of
my floormates was standing in the hall. He was talking
to someone - face to face. They were talking about
computers, of course, but at least they were talking.
Okay, it's not that strange. But, it made me think about
how often I do see it. It's rarer than it used to be. I
remember high. school as a non-stop yak-athon. There
were no computers to occupy us there, and no private
quarters to which we could withdraw. Granted, when.
these same guys get into a social setting, the old
loquacity starts to come back. But there's still a bit of
awkwardness about it that seems to say, "You're
alright to talk to, but I'd feel more comfortable if you
were at the other end of my modem line." Don't you
notice it, too? Not all of the time, and not with every
computer owner, but it's there.
There are different ways of looking at this phenome-
non. In one sense, it's just another way to be a nerd
(poke your head into a C'S class sometime). But it's also
an example of the male gender's continuing fascination
with complicated gadgets. I'm sure that ifI..eonardo Da
Vinci, "lIll ,&'Ojamin FrankliJ\ lmu Thoma'l
were alive today, they'd be computer g( 'k.'1. And
imagine if those "SO's" car nuts could hav brought
their 331 Hemi's into resid with them. Tht.:oy I'\(."v r
would hav come ut,
The difference is, computers don't produ carbon
monoxide. You can safely spend hows in a poorly ven-
tilated room, by yourself, communicating only through
the very cumbersome processes of email, Usenet, and
IRC For many of us, the novelty has wom-<>ff a little
bit But there seems to be a new class of people emerg-
ing. They're not isolated, because they communicate
with people aroW'ld the world by fax and e-mail, but
they don't like to look you in the eye, or shake your
hand, or pat you on the back. They feel inept without
their technological tools. I think if a major blackout
suddenly occurred, you'd have one group of people
immediately lighting candles, looking for someone to
talk to, and joking about their dependence on electrici-
ty. But there would be another group, out of sight, sit-
ting in front of plastic hulks that have suddenly gone
dead. They'd sit, motionless, in the dark for a moment,
feeling totally disconnected and alone. Only after
enough time had passed for their human instincts to
resurface would they stand upright, strike a light, and
go and rejoin the bibe.
1
, ,de rrium ,
F
all mto delInum In this term's scunt. Meet If, In an effort to understand and cure hIm, you
Killer Kadougan, a dangerous and extremely can survive his deluded worlds:
emotionally unstable man whose reality con- Toy World everything is fun and games
sists of five imagined worlds. He was captured Retro World disco is cool
13 years ago and has been undergoing psycho- Mechanical World energy motion are the only
logical observation ever since. Kadougan has things that matter
been unresponsive to therapy; nothing has alle- Great White North about the snow and what
via ted his insanity. Canadians like
For this reason, we invite you to explore his Medieval World an antiquated existence full of
delirium in a twenty-four hour adventure. See castles and warriors.
Scunt occurs Friday, January 31 Registration deadline: Tuesday, January 28
For info e-mail: ssanyal@mechanical
Brought to you by: Tonka
P
leased to meet you. Hope you guess my
name. It is with a bit of apprehension that I
write this. I'm from A Soc and most A
Sockers already know I'm a fool and have forgi -
en me. So, you see, I'm a stranger to these B Soc
parts and I am unsure what use people will see
for my words. Maybe, to replace otherwise
blank white space in the newspaper or to ruin
some perfectly good white space. Hey, you don't
even need to think about it though because it
won't stop me.
You can tell a lot about a person by what they talk about. My
friend Tom used to joke about how I told a girl I had just met that
I 'wasn't from this province.'
Being from British Columbia means a lot to me. I miss my
home very much and though I have lived here for four years, I
still consider Terrace, B.C. my home. Hence you read the name
Occidental tourist. Occidentalis means western in Latin So, for the
dimbulbs, the title means western tourist as well as a pun of The
Accidental Tourist
So that's what I ama tourist from the West; here to check things
out and for a good not a long time. Cowagooba, my name's Ryan.
One of my favourite scenes from the movies isn't in
fact very good at all. What makes it so great is how I see it
in my mind and in my memory. It combines some of my
favourite things like the differences in perception, whimsy,
dancing and love.
During rush hour at a train station in a city we see people
hunying, running, always moving, never stopping.
A man relaxed and unphased by the bustling crowd stands on
some low steps raising lUmself on the tips of his toes to look across
the station.
Commuters zip past him unnoticing and uncaring. Their eyes
show a mindless focus on somewhere else, where they're going
from where they came.
The man slowly surveys the crowd searching for but one thing,
a women. Far across, near the far wall a pretty lady walks, trying
to rush but not quite convinced about it. She steps lightly and
beautifully barely manages to avoid bumping into oncoming pe0-
ple.
Now we see in the man's mind as he sees her. There is no rush-
ing. Everyone wants to be there. Every man is dancing with a
woman. With sweet music they dance a lively happy dance as
they gaze in each others eyes. The man runs ahead eagerly and
stops every once in a while. He never takes his eyes off the girl.
Ever smiling he scurries around the waltzing couples after his true
love.
I like to think love is like that. Love makes you see things differ-
ently, like the whole world is dancing.
Sometimes when I'm in a place where there's dancing I just
walk around. I stand in the middle of all these people as they
groove to the beat and I smile stand on my tippie toes and look
around.
I rarely see the woman I love and the people are hardly
waltzing, but I love it.
Snow swirled and scudded aroundas I looked out the win-
dow late at night last week. I was looking out the window at
snow all blowing about.
Flakes were lost in the darkness until they were flung under the
)
u
S
T
A
G '
U
Y
treet light where they danced until the
were pulled into the dark again.
Still looking outside, I said to my room
mate, "Y'know if I was till a kid, 1'd run out-
side and play right now."
Ryan Chen-Wing
mLachemv@novi
"Yeah?" she's alway full of insightful conunents.
I paused for a second, '1 till am a kid."
I grabbed my jacket and grabbed my toque and
ran outside in seconds flat to play in Winter's
bounty.
You don't cease to play because you grow
old; you grow old because you cease to play.
Tickle Me Elmo craziness took over in
past months with people paying into the thousands for a toy
that retails for forty dollars. As with other such crazes; I under-
stand them little. It is nothing but a testimony of the great ease
with which idiots can be separated from money. This inane red
furry satan is just the thing to do it too.
Looking at particulars of this madness is an adventure in
ludicrous human nature.
lnLagine a situation where you have to choose either to pay
$2CXXJ for something or wait seven days and pay forty for the
identical item. I can't think of one either.
Hey, you can't put a price on a child's happiness; well I guess
some people can.They could've just saved the thousands by
buying contraceptives a few years earlier. Personally I would
life the short life of a sperm than grow up with sub average
intelligence genes.
There is even a vastly-superior lower-priced comparable
product on the market. The Real Talkin' Bubba is a brown
furry buddy that says not two but two hundred different
things. A good aI' boy he's full of wit and spunk and tells ya
what's what Yeehaw!
Pyjamas are most comfortable and versatile clothing,
and friendly. Pyjamas could so easily be formal wear. Having
a two-piece flannelette pyjamas are just like a suit. What's more
you exude confidence; I mean who clse wouLd wear pyjam<ls
to, say, an interview but someone who can get away with it.
Interviewing would be so easy too you could just get nul of
bed and go to your interview. No Probl m!
No one could knock your la k of style be' ausl' your
mommy bought them, who else would.
And if you're telling a joke tlLat really flops then your fril'J1ds
can still laugh at you because, come 00, you're wearing pyja-
mas.
Few magic nights ever happenanywhcre but, truly, scunl
is always one of them. Crazy stuff happens where you play
like a kid with endless games and it's fun like nobody's busi-
ness.
I heard somewhere about the DeLiriurnScunt and T amgoing
crazy it's going to be so good.
So, come out and play!
When I was nine years old and in the fourth gradc, my
class had a pen class in a different province. Our class of pen
palswere in a strange dty called Kitchener.l remember laugh-
ing at the name, because it sounds like kitchen, you see.
Through the year we wrote letters to each other but eventu-
ally I stopped. I didn't see much use, it's not like 1 was ever
going to go to that place. It's named after a kitchen ..
r.
RON
Bill's Adventure
The Final Chapter: Part 1
H
ello and welcome to the continuation of
Bill's Excellent Adventures. Those of you
who were on campus during the summer
tenn may have read the first four installments of this
series, as I made my way across Australia. The last
article of the summer had me flying over the Tas-
man Sea en route to New Zealand. That was writ-
ten on July 12. Much has happened since then, as I
finished out my trip, returned to a work-term in
Toronto and finally ended up back in Waterloo. I
am now faced with 4B Computer Engineering. after
which I will domy 4A catch-up tenn and then final-
ly graduate and be forced to cope with reality.
Before I do that, however, I'd like to hold on to my
vacation memories just a bit longer, and share them
with you to educate and amuse. I don't want to
bore you, so r will be brief in my descriptions except
for particularly exciting events. As always, any
questions, comments, criticisms or requests to view
pictures are welcomed via wvgray@elecorn2.
''Rain Down On Me"
July 12- July 24
New Zealand I
New Zealand is located south-ca.st of Australia and is
completely independent of it's large neighbor. In fact,
Kiwi's take as much offense to being called Australian
as Canadians do to being called American. The coun-
try is a bit larger than Great Britain, and has a popula-
tion of around four million people, 25% living in Auck-
land. New Zealand is also home to eight million cattle
and 70 million sheep. The country is broken up into
two islands, the North Island and the South Island, sep-
arated by the Cook Straight. The geography of the
country is extraordinary - imagine scrunching Canada
into something the size of England and youll begin to
get the idea.
The native Maori people are of Polynesian descent,
giving them more in common with the natives of
Hawaii than those of Australia. Although the handling
of native affairs has not been spectacular in New
Zealand, it was certainly better than the policies of Aus-
tralia and Canada. The Maori culture is definitely pre-
sent throughout the country, from city names to the
famous 11ake' warrior challenge performed by the All
Black's rugby team before every test.
The government is similar to Canada's, providing
large levels of social assistance to the population. The
environment is also extremely important, to the point
that New Zealand has declared itself a Nuclear Free
Zone, which extends even to ships entering it's har-
bours. As a result, no American naval vessels are
allowed in the harbours because the US government
will not reveal whether a given vessel is nuclear pow-
ered or not. New Zealand was also the first country to
grant women the right to vote.
The first thing I noticed as our 747 taxied to the termi-
nal at the airport in Christchurch was the snow on the
ground. There's snow on the ground. It's July. There's
snow on the ground. 1 had a distinct feeling that 1 was
doing something wrong. But as I was to find out, New
Zealand is truly one of the most wonderful places on
earth. Our starting point, Christchurch (pop. 320 (xx)) is
located on the east coast of the South Island. It is a pro-
cessing center for the wheat and wool from the sur-
rounding Canterbury Plains region. To refresh your
memory, 1 was travelling with my girlfriend
Melody. Melody and 1 stayed in Christchurch for
seven days due to misplanning, and it rained for
seven. days straight. I'm sure the city is very beau-
tiful and interesting when it's not raining. One
highlight was walking 40 minutes through the
rain to see the Canadian Moose hockey team on
their South Pacific Exhibition tour. Luckily, some
complete strangers drove us back across town
after the game. Another was going on an intense-
ly psychedelic trip courtesy of paracedimal, Aus-
tralia's answer to acetaminophen. Apparently it
has rather adverse effects on some individuals.
Like me.
Our ticket out of Christchurch was aboard the
Tranz-Alpine Express, rated one of the top-ten
train rides in the world. The track ran west from
Christchurch across the Southern Alps and ended up in
Greymouth, on the west coast. The scenery was phe-
nomenal, with snow-capped mountains running into
green fields and even sub-tropical rain-forest on the
west coast. The west coast was also sunny (for a while)
which caused us great happiness. Greymouth itself
was a very quiet port town servicing the fishing fleets
on the Tasman Sea. We took a hike through the rain-
forest to Point Elizabeth which afforded us an amazing
view up and down the west coast, with the majestic
Alps rising into the clouds to the east.
The rain was quick to return, however, as we headed
south to Franz Josef, where we clambered up and
down the world's fastest moving glacier (05m/ day) for
a few hours. Of course, it was raining. The glacier is
also interesting because it borders a rain-forest. The
road continued south, as we crossed
many one-lane bridges that are also
shared with the railroad. I guess
trains get the right of way. One stop
of note was Ross, a gold-mining cen-
ter where we.panned for gold and
jade. The mine company wants to get
the gold that is under the town itself,
so they are planning to move the
town a few kilometers. This may
sound strange, but apparently mov-
ing towns is common practice in New
Zealand, whether for mining purposes, or to create
man-made lakes.
Five days after leaving Christchurch, we arrived at
the southernmost point on our trip, Queenstown. This
is in the heart of New Zealand ski country. While quite
small compared to the Rockies, the mountains offer the
best skiing in the area, and draw skiers from Japan,
southeast Asia and Australia. Queenstown is a typical
ski town, with expensive stores and lots of cheap beer.
Both Melody and I ran into friends that we had trav-
eled with in Australia and much time was spent in the
local bars quaffing brews and getting caught up.
One aspect of Queenstown that is unlike most other
ski towns is that it is the home of bungy - that insane
activity that involves paying someone to let you jump
off a very high bridge with a glorified elastic band
strapped to your legs. The two main sites were located
in Skipper's Canyon, over the Shotover River which
was the site of a huge gold rush, yielding more gold
than any other river in the world, save the Yukon.
After some deliberation, Melody and I chose The
Pipeline over A.J.Hackett because it was a bit higher
and they had nicer T-shirts. As we rang our Visas
through, the lady at the desk stamped COMMITTED
on our tickets. There was no turning back now.
The next morning we hopped in the 4x4's that would
take us to the jump site. 1 didn't expect that the ride out
to the bridge would be more frightening and danger-
ous than the actual jump itself! The road was a single
muddy lane cut into the side of the hill, with a hundred
foot sheer drop to one side and a rock face to the other.
The mud was frozen, so the jeep was being thrown
around in the ruts, bouncing ever to the side of
the road. Everyone in the jeep was relieved when we
finally arrived at the bridge.
Then we saw the bridge and got scared again. The
bridge was originally designed to support a pipeline
(thus the name) over the Shotover River to provide
water for the sluices of the gold pro;pectors. The gold
rush ended long ago, and the pipeline eventually col-
lapsed from lack of maintenance. It was rebuilt espe-
cially for the bungy site. The bridge itself is 155m long
and is 102m above the river, making it the highest land-
based free-fall in the world. Walking on the bridge
causes it to bounce, and I became extremely unnerved
half-way out when I realized all that stood between me
and the river was two inches of wood, a rusty metal
pipe and 102m of nothing. We were supposed to hit
120km/h in the first two seconds after jumping from
the bridge, free-falling for a total of four seconds before
RON
being pulled back up by the bungy cord.. pulling 3 G'
at the bottom of the fall. And I paid money for this.
The Pipeline Crew are very skilled at their job. The
never stop talking to you as they get ou tied up and
ready to go. This way you don't have time to think
about what you are about to do. Hopping out to the
small platform that juts off the side of the bridge, I ven-
tured a look down. The view down to th river was
sickening. I'm not sure how, but I managed to let go of
the railing and stand on the edge of nothing, pulse rac-
ing, and trying not to think about what would happen
if I hit the ground at 120km/h. The crew began their
countdown and I found myself bending my knees and
jumping as far as I could into the void.
I don't really recall what I was thinking of when I
leaped off the platform. The next second was sheer ter-
ror as I started my descent. I started screaming and
then lost track of reality until I finally slowed, stopped
and tar ted bouncing back up. I was
peechless ... breathless. A my bounce ended, I was
completely unprepared for the second fall, cau ing
more screaming and useless flailing at the air. The
bounce were smaller now, and I felt completely
drained of ... eveI)'thing. Looking back up at the bridge
offered an insane view of a thin strip of wood some
100m above me, to which was attached a bundle of
rubber strips the size of my forearm that had just pre-
vented me from dying. I was eventually lowered into a
waiting boat, too confused to move but absolutely
shaking with adrenaline. I'd do it again in a second.
This concludes the first half of our visit to New
Zealand. Check out next week's Iron Warrior for part
two, as we travel n rth from Queenstown to Auckland.
Kicking Back In Cuba
Bill Gray
4B Comp - Sun of a Bit
Brenda Bouchette
3A Electrical - Bad Ohmbres
H
i. We're Brenda and Bill. We want to go to
Cuba. We want you to come with us.
You've seen the sign; now here's the info.
While freezing our butts of in Montreal one week-
end, lamenting our return to Canada from the tropical
paradises of Guadalajara and Fiji, we decided the only
way to fix the situation was to return to the tropics. We
wanted a place with warm, sunny beaches fronting on
pristine blue ocean. Somewhere that would provide
seven days of food and entertainment for a reasonable
price. Somewhere with a free bar. As we searched for
a holiday destination that would satisfy all of these
requirements, we hit upon the ideal solution - Cuba:
Cuba fulfills all of the major 'tropical paradise' require-
ments, while providing the added benefit of being one
of the safest and cheapest places in the world to kick
back at an all-inclusive resort.
Our next step was to harass travel agents until they
gave us all the good information on Cuba they had.
The literature search came up with a clear and concise
winner - The Marea del Portillo Beach Club, located
near Manzanillo.
At this point, we realized that having a big group of
people from Waterloo all kicking back in Cuba at the
same time would be even more fun, and thus the End-
Of-Term-Cuba-Excursion was bom The seven day
trip will depart Toronto after the end of the exam peri-
od in late April. The package price includes return air-
fare, seven days in the hotel with breakfast, lunch, din-
ner and free domestic drinks.
This resort is somewhat more
isolated than some others,
offering an excellent opportu-
nity for hiking and horseback
riding in the mountains.
The approximate cost will
be as follows:
All-Inclusive Package +
Departure Taxes + Cuban
Tourist Card - Thomas Cook
5% Discount
$789 + $73 + $20 - $40 =
$842 (no GSf IPS'!)
Further discounts may be
available from the beach club, depending on the num-
ber of people, and how far in advance we book and pay
for the package. Note also that you will require a valid
Canadian passport to enter Cuba. If you are not a citi-
zen of Canada, you will have to contact Immigration
for more information
For more information, feel free to come to eith r
Brenda or Bill in person. Or you can e-mail us at
bjboucheelectrical and wvgray@elecom2. 'ntis trip is
not reserved for graduates, engineers, UW students or
anyone else. All are welcome, so long as th y have a
desire to party. There will most likely be a limit
number of spots (the resort is only so big!) so we will
have to operate on a first-come, first-serve basis. Whicl1
means a first-paid, first-serve basis.
Here's the blurb from the travel brochure:
Located on the Southeast coast of Cuba, a 1 12 hour
drive from Manzanillo airport, the Marea del Portillo
Beach Oub offers a truly and informal vaca-
tion. The foothills of the Sierra
Maestra MOlmtains provide a dra-
matic backdrop to the exotic black
sand beach that Stretclles for over
2 km on either side of this 2-stoI)'
130-room resort. You can be as
active (or inactive) as you wish.
There are daily planned activities
organized by the resort's coordi-
nators, or you can go off on your
own to explore the nearby villages
and country-side either on horse-
back, rented moped or by foot. [ ... J
In the evenings you will be treated
to live entertainment and fun-
filled theme nights. The success of any resort is mea-
sured in party by its repeat visitors. The Marea del Por-
tillo is tremendously popular with Canadians and
many guests have returned year after year.
Facilities: Swimming pool and sundeck, poolside bar,
complimentary sun lounges and beach towel service,
iJeLlch 1">.1r, Il.'SWllIWlt, lit k'Lmis court, ping pong t,lbk',
horseback riding, wtllcrsporhi av lil<lbll' 01\ the LX'.I h,
gift shop, saC 'ly ul'p<it bo " c,lr n.'l\t.al, mOl :I.1n I jc 'P
nt.ll, taxi lvice, OptiorklJ tours, dil-iCo tll'.nuy (cxlriJ
cost)
Each 'Gardenview Caoona' {eatum;: 2 lhl ""'-lllilW
beds, air c nditi njng, bathroom with shower only,
tiled fi<x)r, balcony or patiQ
All inclusive features:
Buffet breakfast, lunch and dinn r daily including
snacks
Unlimited domestic bar drinks daily (lOam to 11 pm)
including beer, liquor, rum, drinks and juice
Theme nights including wCt'kly uban pig-roasl,
seafood and Italian nights
Non-motoriZL'CI watersports including windsurfing,
kayak& and catamarans (charge for water-skiing,
fishing, scuba diving)
Free scuba lessons in the p<x)l
Daily activities program
Cards and board gamcs, Ube of tennis court
Bicyclcs, ping-pong table and darts, volleyball, horse--
shoes
Daily games and competitions
RON RRIOR
Experiencing Calgary
Kyle Corbett
48 Electrical - OMEGA Sector
L
ast term I worked in Calgary Alberta and I just
loved it. Since there are more jobs opening up
out west I thought that I would take the time
and describe the highlights of the city, from a Co-op
perspective.
First thing Calgary is not a small town. It is usually
deso:IDed as a big town with a small town atmosphere.
With a population around eight hundred thousand
people, and about thirty five kilometers tall. The people
are friendly. I realize that this is usually a generic state-
ment about any city, however, Calgary is different. Peo-
ple will meet you in the airport, wearing their western
hats of co urse, and let you know about the city and its
sights. If you are moving to Calgary, they will come
visit you, and they will bring gifts. Cool eh? People will
say ''hi'' to you on the street, and bartenders are polite.
Night life and going out
Contrary to popular belief, not all of the bars and
night clubs are country. Though there are more country
bars than there are here, or Toronto, you can still find a
place that will play the type of music you like. I thought
before I went out, there is no way I would go to a coun-
try bar for a pint or would ever end up dancing like
those people on CMT (Country Music Television).
However, with some encouragement, I did step foot
into a country bar and I haven't been the same since. By
the way Country dancing does not equal I ine dancing.
Bars serve until 2 am. Unfortunately the transit sys-
tem doesn't operate that late, so if you are going out on
the town you will either cab it or car pool. This was the
only down fall of going out in Calgary.
In Calgary, like every city, you can find something to
do every night. Unfortunately, going out every night,
like every city, will force you to go broke rather quickly.
There are lots of bars with drink and food specials, like
25 cent 8 oz draft and 10 cent wings.
I didn't realize that Calgary is a major concert stop.
While I was there we visited by Alanis, Smashing
Pumpkins, Tragically Hip, Dr . Hook, Alan Jackson ....
The list is finite, but long.
Calgary is also the home of the Flames and the Stam-
peders. The tickets to the games are cheap as far as pro-
fessional sports go. The best games to go see are when
Calgary plays the Edmonton. It's like war to these pe0-
ple, rallying behind their troops, for bragging rights
until the next time.
Recreation and Leisure
Calgary is about an hour from one of the largest nat-
ural play grounds. If you like to ski, mountain bike,
roller blade, hike, camp or bird watch, this is the place
for you. Kananaskis, is close and you don't need a park
The ride was
worth the view!
pass to get into it. I spent many a weekend in the moun-
tains, and there is nothing like the feeling standing on
the top of the world and seeing Calgary as a little blob
on the horizon.
I would suggest that if you want to go mountain bik-
ing, that you have a good bike, not one that you would
buyout of the sears catalogue. Riding is tough on the
bike and without a solid bike the repairs can add up.
Other Stuff of Interest
There is no PST. (Major plus)
The summer brings the Stampede. I have been told
that the parties and the experience is amazing. Every-
one puts on their hats and boots, and come out to the
festivities. I have never been to the Stampede, however,
I plan on going this summer.
As mentioned before that I did experience the Coun-
try bars in Calgary. In fact I went for free lessons at the
Ranchmans (seen in Cool Runnings). I would encour-
age anyone to go to the Ranchman's, and learn the
proper way to two step or double shuffle. They will for
free teach you how to move around the dance floor
without killing your partner, or at least running them
into things.
My experience in Calgary was amazing. And those
who know me, know that I don't say that about every
where. So if you are interested in a great life experience,
Calgary is a cool place to check out.
RON
..
P**5 Crap
or
Please Put Pissed People in POETS
Brian and Mark Vidler
P .... 5 Directors
E
ow that you've been wruting for this for a long,
long time, so here it is! It's the amazing, stupen-
ous, incredible, somewhat-m odified, mostly-
similar, but-not-entirely-without-our-input new P**S
points list. Mo t of what i printed i true and should
provid e a good guidefu1 for the points breakdown
this tenn. There are, however, a few things that need
clarifying. OK, here's the scoop. Brian typed out the
first half of the Ii t (without the poinL) from. our
notes and left the rest up to me. You see, he' kinda
busy this tenn, what with 15 hours total filling up his
I P**5 Point Breakdown for Winter 1997
Points Awarded (Responsible for Submission)
"Ginune" Points
Old Exams r:fJ (Submitters)
Old Exams with Solutions 100 (Submitters)
Varsity Athletes 200 (Class Reps)
Co Rec sports 1r:fJ (Class Reps) (min 7 ck1SS members)
Oass Parties 100 (Class Reps)
Oass Name 100 (C1nss Reps)
Customized Mailbox in Orifice 100 (P**5)
Customized P"*5 Name Tag 100 (P**5)
Engineering Society
Executive 750 (P**5)
Directors 250 (P**5)
P"*S Directors 8O,(XX),(XX) (P**5)
Class Representatives 100 (P**5)
Council Meeting Attendance 50/ att (VPI)
Events
Organizers
1st
2nd
3rd
Participation
PBD
1 Per Each
>50 12()'50 1 <20 people
1(0) / 700 / 500 (Orgnni2.ers)
800 /500 / 300 (Organizers)
600 / 300 / 200 (Organizers)
400 / 200 / 100 (Organizers)
200 / 100 / 50 (Organizers)
1st 300
(POETS Managers)
(POETS Mal1agers)
(POETS Managers)
(POETS Managers)
(POETS Managers)
2nd 200
3rd 100
Participation (>12) 25
Scunt
Organizers 700+100/team (Organizers)
1st 600 (Organizers)
2nd 400 (Organizers)
3rd 300 (Organizers)
Participation 200 (Organizers)
Sanford. Flenuning Debates
1st 500
2nd 300
3rd 200
Participation 50 (ClLlSS Reps)
Departmental Debates r:fJ/ participant (Class Reps)
Technical Speaking
1st 200
Participant 50
Enginewsletter
(Class Reps)
(Class Reps)
Submissions Printed 50 (0 irectors)
(Directors) Prof Quotes 25
(max 75 per issue)
Iron Warrior
Editor
Staff
Articles: Factual
Opinion Articles
Pictures
Arts
500 (IW Editors)
250 (IW Editors)
150 (TW Editors)
75 (IW Editors)
75 (TW Editors)
7S (TW Editors)
lWEditors h.we. lllXJ point bcrIus at term's end 10 distribute .ttheir discretion
Tal Eng
Organizers
Participants
<50 150-250 I >250 0<11'.00 fans
500 / 700 / Hxx) (Orgallj;;J.'rS)
50 / 75 / 100 (Orgclllizl'rs)
Miscellaneous
Stunts 0 to 1(XX) (P**5)
Grad Comm 250 (Grad COlli)
Shadow Day Participant 50 (Direc/ors)
Front Runners 25 (Oir'('/ors)
Cllarities 1 PCI' $ (max 1(0) (Directors)
Conferences 100 (VPX)
Novelty Ideas 100 (Directors )
WEEFParticipation S/person (Directors)
Plummer's Pledge 25/person (Class Reps)
Arts Board 75/posting (Directors)
Videos 0 to 500 (P**S)
Frosh Week Sign Up
Organizers
Participants >10
(rIO
0-5
250 (Orgmlizers)
100 / class (Organizers)
SO/class
25/class
week. I, on the other hand, am in 3 Civil, and ha c
a much more rclaed s h('dulc, with only 2.3 tin1es
the number of hours that Brian has, but I'm. not bit-
ter. A tually I'm not; T rarely attend lass, ask any
one in Expioci\' ! So anyway, I was finishing this Jist
but 1 ouldn't figure out some of his numbers, '0 T
made up a f w of my own, but you've all had lab
by now, 0 1 don't have to go into detail. The one
thing that really thr w me for a loop was the P*"'S
director's category. Brian ju t kinda slipped that one
in on me and didn't give any points values. You
would think that it would be jus t like any other
directorship, but, dearly, Brian didn't int nd it to be.
So I assigned a point value to it that I th,ink i fair.
What do you think?
What Viddles and I want to get across this tenn is
that participation is key. Otherwise it would be P*"'4,
butl digress.
Each week we will want to see something from our
Top Ten List. Brian and T will each award 250 points to
the first people to show us what we want. The same
people can' t get both sets of points, but the same class
can. This week our Top Ten item was Elvis in POETS.
Next week it will be the Hanson brothers. If you don't
know who they are you haven't watched slapshot near-
ly enough. Come to think of it, I don' t think that anyone
has watched Slapslzot enough. All three brothers must
be present to get the points.
If you will be so kind as to refer to the P"*S points list
you will notice that various people are responsible for
infonning us when points are to be distributed. We will
not chase after people to get these points; Brian has a
schedule from TlC'\l and Tam, quitc' frankly, afr"id to
leaV(' 1h' Sl urit, of POI' r5. So if Ill! J '\'I 11",1 ()U
desl'lvl' IXlini!-., 111,']..(,' SUR' lh.11 \w J..nowal )ul il Also
on the agl'nd.l for tIll' tt'ffll is "SlIrVl' 10 lkll'nnilw
what you, th ' studl'nt lxxi , likt'S tn do, so th,lt ,
\Jln nrn th of ,1Ctivi tr ">. So wht'l) YOllrcl,ls.s I\'P
ask.s you to fill 111l'sC oul, do il! It'll g 't you t',ISY
points and \1lakl' Viddles happy, .1Ilt! nobody w,mls 10
disappoinl ViddlL'S. Of p'lrliculM I10Il' this ll'JIlI is lhl'
Stunt Policy. 1 fl I tlull it is itnlx)liilnl tnollgh 10 dl'S('rvl'
the capitals. If your lass wilnts to do" sh1l11 it must go
thmugh both Brian and 11K'. If yOll don't tl,lIllS .Ibout it
you will get no poinh>. More importantly, howeVl'r, is
th fact that if you don't tell us, or WI' think thdt it is too
dangerous, EngSoc will n 'ith 'r be f'l.'Slxll1sihle for the
stunt, nor back you up when you get hauled in front of
the dean to explain why you shouldn't h<lvc 10 pay up
to $500 in fin and be put on disciplinary probation for
the rest of your undergraduate career. Not fun stuff, SO
let US know about anything you want to do in advance.
In closing, we would also like you to know that we
have discretionary points that we can award for any-
thing that we feel is really cool. This might includ road-
trips, events, or dates for the P"'5 directors. So have fun
this term and participate, dammit!
Star Wars:
The Legend Resurrected
I
t was the summer of 1977. The world was a better place then. The
grass was greener, the birds sang sweeter, and Star Wars had just hit
the theatres. My first memory is of Luke SkywaJker terrorizing the
Death Star (Granted, I was in the womb at the time, but that's okay. 1
was always a talented child.) I grew up trying to do my hair like
Princess Leia because the boys in my neighbourhood wouldn't let me be
Han Solo who, incidentally, was my first crush. The first computers 1
really knew about were those lovable robots, R2-D2 and C-3PO. The
Star Wars universe surrounded me as I grew up, too. I tried to learn to
draw from a "How to Draw the Star Wars Characters" book I believe
that my first real" drink" was out of a mug shaped like Yoda. And now,
coincidentally, as I finish my first year at university, Star Wars has resur-
faced once again. Less than a week after you read this, Star Wars IV - A
New Hope will hit theatres once again. I doubt that this news has
escaped too many people, but 1'd like to remind the uninformed and
unexcited among you why this is important.
Star Wars is a guidebook for growing up. Star Wars taught me that tech-
nology can be good and technology can be bad, depending on how we use
it. Star Wars taught me that your relationship with your parents needs to be
respected, no matter how much you hate them. Star Wars even taught me
that big and scary and furry and growly does not necessarily mean "bad".
Star Wars is not just a trilogy, it's life.
If you've never seen Star Wars, make sure you go see it. Trust me, the line-
ups will be worth it. If you've seen it but ctidn't really like it, why not give it
another try? There are new scenes and computerized effects .... .I'll count you
in. As for those of you who, like me, are already (mentally) waiting in line,
make sure you cheer when the Death Star actually ..... well, you know. There
are skeptics among us who don't believe the commercials.
Gold Leader out. See you in line.
May the force be with you ......
Caroline "Jabba the Hutt" Page
1 8 Enviro-Chem
I walk through the halls of sanctuary
The emptiness watches me
Silence echoes through my ears
I walk forward with nothing to fear
Light appears at the end of the tunnel
I am ready to embrace
The light on my face
I am in pain
For it is a train
Zhan Huan Zhou
18 Computer Engineering
(InCOMPetent)
The Mathematics oUove
My love for you is greater than infinity
That is a mighty large quantity
It stretches across all four dimensions of space
Making you impossible to replace
When I'm with you, I act as irrational as pi
I guess I'm just that type of guy
This must be some sort of sine
That you were meant to be me mine
I'll make it quite plane
That I'm really not insane
At this point my feelings are at a maximum
So we must try to differentiate
What is real and what is imaginary
Won't you be with me?
Zhan Huan Zhou
1 B Computer Engineering (InCOMPetent)
.J
RON
A Pool Table, Three Rooms,
and a Hadolen
Jason Murray
4BQ - Sun of a Bit!
I
t all started one bright sunny day (It must have
been sunny it was the summer). I found out that
we (the elecom class) were having our fourth
year room relocated. The Dean needed the space for
the Environmental Department. I didn't reaJ]y want
to move (the old room was in a prime location), but r
could give on this. After all we weren't losing our
fourth year room, we were just getting a different
one.
(If you walk by the old room, take a peak in the win-
dow. Last time I checked there didn't look to be any-
thing done to the room. They really needed to get us
out in a huny so they could convert the room for use as
a lecture room).
The department wanted to give us a U-shaped room
that was actually made up of EE stores, and the HAM
radio shop. It was actually three rooms, with doors
between them. We wanted to have the reading room,
that was across the hall. Well we couldn't have the
reading room because the staff has meetings in it. Even
though the room says E&CE fourth Year Reading
Room (or something to that effect) we couldn't convert
it for our use as our fourth year room.
We were stuck with the cramped, strangely shaped
room. We wanted to knock one of the separating walls
down to open the room up a bit. Can't do that, it costs
$2,(0). But the department has no problem forking out
the caSh, on the order of $10,(0), to install an air condi-
tioningunit.
At the same time it came to our attention that we
would not be allowed to move the pool table, video
game, and dart boards into the new room, no matter
which one we ended up with. There were various rea-
sons sited for this. One was that the Campus Cove had
an exclusiv arrangement stating that only th y could
own pool tables on campus. ThLe; is true (l asked them),
however I doubt that our personal use, non-money
making table would faU under the jurisdiction of th
agreement. rt also doesn't explain why we can't have
the video game or dart board. The other reason given
was that the Dean didn't want any non "study" things
in the fourth year rooms. Well last time I walked past
the Systems Design fourth. year room their ping-pong
table was still there.
I've heard it said that there is a document outlining
what the purpose of a fourth year room is. Now I
haven't actually read this document so don't quote me
on anything. According to this document the fourth
year rooms are intended for fourth year students to
relax, unwind, and socialize. Nowhere have I heard it
said that the fourth year rooms are "study" rooms, i.e.
room that are intended only for study. You could study
there if you wanted, but tha t's not the sole purpose.
Ultimately we have the cramped, strangely shaped
room, walls and all. I haven't been there yet, there's no
reason to go. If I want to read I'll go to the Reading
Room. If I want to study I'll go to the library. If I want to
relax I'll go to the Campus Center (oops, the Student
Life Center).
I'd like to get the Dean's attention somehow to show
him how discontent we are. We are the largest depart-
ment, and getting larger, he shouldn't go around piss-
ing-off 240 soon to be alumni. Some have suggested
getting our WEEF back, and not giving to the Plum-
mer's Pledge. I've heard arguments for and against this.
I have to say that I won't support this. It doesn't hit the
Dean where it hurts. It only hurts the students. One
way that might work is to get in touch with alumni that
had the benefit of the pool table and inform them of
what the Dean is doing. Maybe they'll take time out of
their Qusy days to phone our Dean and lean on him a
little. If anyone wants to get together and make this
work e-mail me at jmurray@novice.
So in the end I'm not happy. To play Street Fighter I
have to go to POETS, to play pool I have to go to the
Cove, and I don't play darts so I don't know where I'd
go to do that. I doubt anything can be done for this
term, but maybe with the help of the lower year ele-
coms we can fix this problem for the graduating class of
'98 and beyond.
Athletics Rock!
Kelly Butt
2A Chem
H
i there everyone, I'm K lJy Butt, your new
Athletic Director. I plan on making Athletics
ROCK!!!!! The other Athletic Director is Diana
Wang. Welcome to the wide world of sports! Even
though it is just the beginning of the term there are
already some things that you may be interested in.
1. War of the W's: Western is hosting a co-ed volley-
ball tournament on Feb 8. The tournament will be
held in the afternoon and afterwards the teams will
go out to dinner at a local pub. I am hoping to get
two teams of at least five people to go. If you are
interested you can drop a message in the Orifice in
the Athletic box just on the left hand as you enter
the Orifice. Look for posters for a meeting in the
near future.
2. Volleyball Toumy at Waterloo: The PAC is hold-
ing a volleyball tournament on Feb. 15. If anyone is
interested forms for entering a team are available at
the athletic office at PAC.
3. Engineering Hockey: If anyone is interested in
playing eng hockey please contact me at
kabutt@novice or leave me a message in the Ath-
letic box in the Orifice. If we have enough people
and/ or teams interested then it will be a go.
As you can see, all of these events are in the near
future. So, if you are interested, please contact me or
Diana as soon as possible.
Kim Whitear
VP-Internal
FYI
W
elcome back, everyone!! I hope you all
had amazing work terms! During my
preparation of VPI material for this term, I
started thinking of ways to get feedback from the stu-
dents on the functions and activities of the Engineering
Society. It seems to me that a lot of passing comments,
both positive and negative, are being made regarding
Eng-Soc, but these comments are often forgotten about,
blown way out of proportion, or left unsettled. Since
Eng-Soc is YOUR society, it is extremely important that
your comments/questions/concerns be addressed.
That, in a nutshell, is the essence of this ''FYI'' column.
The only way Eng-Soc is going to know what the stu-
dents want is to hear it from them directly. Often, pe0-
ple make hasty judgments about Eng-Soc activities
without knowing the proper details or decide the soci-
ety doesn't accurately represent them without voicing
their concerns. We, as Exec., try to encourage people
who have any questions about Eng-Soc to drop by the
Orifice and have a look around. But let's face reality. Is
anyone actually going to go to the Orifice and say
''Excuse me, could someone please tell me what the
Engineering society is!"? Not likely. Writing an IW
article is also a good method of voicing your opinions,
but for the vast number of comments I have heard, I
have seen very few articles.
As you have probably noticed, there is anew sugges-
tion box outside of the Orifice this term (1000/0 pure oak,
baby!). The exec will check the box weekly, discuss the
suggestions at that week's exec. meeting and publish
the suggestions and their responses in the next IW issue
under a column called "FYI". The big advantage of this
column is that you don't have to sit down and actually
write an article; all you have to do is scratch down your
suggestion on a piece of paper and shove it in the
box .... SIMPLE!
Now for the catch! 0 know, I know, there always has
to be a catch .... ) If we are going to take time to read and
discuss these suggestions, I don' t want to be reading
things like "All Eng-Soc events suck and Waterloo is
too cold in the winter ... "! By all means, criticize the
things that you don't like, but be constructive. It also
helps to offer suggestions based on what you think
would improve the situation. All I ask is that you take
your comments seriously, refrain from singling out
individual people and be honest. That way we can do
our best to answer your questions and address your
concerns! It is your decision whether or not you want
to include your name and e-mail. If you include your
name and we want to publish your suggestion, you
will be e-mailed for consent before publishing. Howev-
er, if you do not include your name, we will assume
that you consent to publishing.
scx:xx:xx:>o .... next time you have something you
want to say, take a few seconds to jot it down and slip it
into the suggestion box. Take advantage of the oppor-
tunity and help us to improve your society!
What the Heck is
ESC?
Bill Baer
ESQ


IS not
the
short form for a
certain maga-
zine, a brand of
watches, or the
proper name for
a Knight. It
stands for "Engineering Science Quest", the best kept
secret in Engineering here at UWaterloo! ESQ is a stu-
dent run, non-profit program which operates summer
camps, weekend workshops, and in-school visits for
students in grades 5-12 (soon to inelude grades 3 and 4).
The focus is to bring science and engineering to young
RON
minds in a way that is un and citing.
Everyone is familiar with the various sci.en sho"
that have been popular on Saturday m rning TV over
the past few years. WelL ESC2 gives kids th opportunity
to actually get their hands into Polymer Slime, Mechani-
cal Grasshopper, and the String Bridge, which they not
only have to build, but also muster up th courag to
cross!
History: ESQ was started in 1991 by a fourth y ar Sci-
ence student and has tripled in size, reaching over 8(XX)
students in 1996. As a member of th national YES
Camps (Youth in Engineering and Science) of Canada,
Waterloo's camp is among the most successful, with
an annual operating budget of over $150,000 and
employing upwards of 20 students.
Structure: Week long summer camps are held in the
months of July and August with weekend and in-
school workshops held year-round. New in 1996 and
expanding in 1997 is the use of LEG(X!!) Dada TM.
Lego Dacta TM: These workshops will appeal to
kids of any age who are interested in cutting-ige
technology. Participants not only get the standard red,
yellow, blue and green blocks, but also motors, gears,
lights, alarms, heat sensors, and interfaces.
Teams have the ability to write programs to control
their creati ns! ESC2 will be hiding a Legd1!l "Robotta"
for UW Engin ring Students during National Engi-
neering Week (March 2-7). Teams of up to 5 (familiar
team number???) students will be given one week to
design, build, and program a "Robot" to be judged on
the final da of the competiti n. Prizes will be awarded
and they'll be good! Keep your eyes peeled in class
bo es and on the ""ralls r more info.
34 Days to IRS
Usha Elyatamby & Margaret Wojtarowicz
Dear Oass of 1997:
H
Ppy New Year to all of you. 1997 has finally
arrived. Who would have thought that we
ould all still be here after the long haul. This
article is dedicated to everyone who has decided to
devote their lives to engineering and who has made it
through (the pain, the sacrifice, the excitement, the par-
ties, and the mornings after).
What is the Graduation Committee, known to you as
GRADCOMM. ..
What does GRAD COMM do for you?
1. organize IRS
2. organize Grad Ball
3. organize and compile the Yearbook
4. raise money to reduce special event ticket prices
5. make sure that everyone has a good time
Some changes have been made to the schedule of
events for Grad 1997. The big nights are the Iron Ring
Ceremony & Iron Ring Stag and the Graduation Ball
which are going to be held Thursday, February 27th
and Saturday, March 8, respectively.
Graduation has always been a traditional"furee" day
event but the class of 1997 is hoping to change it to a
"ten" day event due to amount of time between IRS
and Grad Ball. The week will be called Grad '97 Water-
loo Infonnation Symposium
(G-WIS). Grad Corom has scheduled the week with
events such as industry seminars, tours, the PEO speak-
er, disaster movie night, MBA workshop and other
interesting events. The schedule for the week will be
distributed soon. So stay tuned. Monetary support for
the engineering grad week will be raised through cor-
porate sponsors.
In order to subsidize events, GRAD COMM has
raised money through pizza sales, bake sales, hal-
loween costume party, slave auction and other interest-
ing events. These events have all been possible due to
tremendous time contributions made by GRAD
COMM: members. On this note, special thanks has to
be made to the fundraising representatives (Annabelle
Edge and lara Glouchkow) for doing a splendid job
during the fall term to organize and raise lots of money.
The Grad Ball is a formal sit-down dinner party of
400, with pre-dinner cocktails and after-dinner dancing.
Than means you have to buy your tickets in advance
(look for announcements and posters around the last
week of January / first week of February and they sell
out fast so make sure you keep your eyes and ears open
so you don't miss it), you can bring a date but you don't
need one (you're going to have a great time either
way!), but you must dress up in formal attire. Formal
attire means formal ball gowns for women and tuxedos
or nice suits for men (there will be a tux rental agent at
the school on January 28th, 9-11 am in PH foyer, to
provide tux fitting services - more information about
the fittings at the orifice - and they are offering us a dis-
count - prices range from $85 - 125 before the discount ...
and guys, remember: women's dresses are at least
twice that muchl! not to mention th shoes).
The Grad Ball is taking place this year in the Viennese
Ballroom at the Waterloo Inn on Saturday March 8th.
You have to find your own mode of transportation and
you are invited to reserve a room at the hotel for th
night (when making a reservation, mention the fact that
you will be attending the Waterloo Engineering Grad
Ball that evening as you will be entitled to a corporate
rate; you will also be able to get your room(s) all in the
same area as the other guest attending the Grad Ball if
you make your reservations early enough - arolIDd the
time of ticket sales).
The evening will commence with cocktails at the
Poolside at 5:00 pm, at which time you can get your pic-
ture taken with your date or a friend (one such picture
is included in the price of your ticket, which is $50 per
person). Following the cocktails, dinner will be served
in the Ballroom at 6:30 pm (so be prompt!). When pur-
chasing tickets, keep in mind that there are 8 people per
table, so you are encouraged to organize with your
friends ahead of time and get your tickets by the table.
After dinner, there will be a short awards ceremony
(something very simple - it'll be over by the end of
desert!), followed by class photos. And then, dancing
for the rest of the evening (till 2:00 am anyway).
Some of the people involved in the Graduation Com-
mitteeare
Lincoln Attong
TrevorBain
Rob Bombino
HahnChoi
Kyle Corbett
Nadine Cowan
Darren Dickson
Annabelle Edge
Usha EI t lamb
1,1 >\ I)cr
Yearbook Editor B Soc
Treasurer
IRS
Corporate Fundraising
JRS
Graduation Ball
Plummers Pledge
Fundraising
AS< -O)oir
If
D.in, Fulton GrJdu.llion ift
Mike libson I
Lara louchkow Fundraiing
Pamela Harpur Yearbook F4IitorBS<
Dave Humphries Y carbook Editor A
AnjumMuUkk Yearbook l:'-:d i tor 13 Soc
Jason Murray B Soc hair
Monica Saarlaid raduation B.lll
CJuis Sharpe Plummers P1 !dg.
Thomas Sondergaard orporare Fundraising
James Steel Yearbook Editor A Soc
Michelle Stinson Fundraising
Ann ?han Tran raduati n Gift
Jason Van Dyk Corporate Fundraising
Margaret Wojtarowicz Graduation Ball
Current News about Graduation events will be post-
ed on the Grad Board in the halJway leading to the
CPH Foyer (opposite to the WEEP room). Please keep
yourself infonned about aU the upcoming events.
If there are questions or comments, please fo/Ward
them to the GRAD COMM A or B box in the orifice
and we look forward to your contribution to a succes&-
fulGrad 1997.
RON R
E.G.A.D. Committee
Planning for a successful
future of EngSoc
Michael Worry
Past VP-F
S.A.V.E. and the
Backup Fund
SAV.E.
Michael Worry
EGAD Chair
E
GAD is about change, EGAD is
about innovation, EGAD is the
Engsoc Growth Assessment and
Development Committee. It's mission
is to plan for the Engineering Society 2
years,S years, 10 years into the future.
Of no fault of their own, the executive
are often too busy putting out fires to
look across at the horizon and see
where the society should be headed
long-term. Buffeted by various cur-
rents, the S.S. EngSoc has moved from
one sea to another, and generally the
fish have gotten larger, the stars
brighter, and the Batch parties wilder.
But there are entire continents that still
need to be discovered. EGAD will
look to recognize long-term problems
Who
Are
We?
hindering the ability of EngSoc to
serve the thousands of Engineers
onboard. We will brain-storm to iden-
tify solutions for existing and expected
situations. The committee will then
carry on to explore business opportu-
nities that EngSoc's unique position-
ing provides. For all members
involved, it will provide an opportuni-
ty to enhance those skills not readily
available in a classroom: creativity,
business acumen, entrepreneurship,
management, vision and passion. We
need dreamers for their creativity,
innovators for their improvements,
entrepreneurs for their vision and
future managers for their realism. If
you're interested in helping unfold the
continued success story, track down
Michael Worry, or email
maworry@novice. Because it's there.
Michael Worry
48 Electrical - Omega Sector
A
t the last Council meeting,
there was some confusion as
to the organization of student
leadership hierarchy outside of our
local EngSoc. Each University has
some form of local Engineering Soci-
ety. Being completely honest, Waterloo
is considered among the largest and
most professional. (We also make
good. boat-racers.) The twelve Univer-
M
the last Council meeting a
few of our A-Soc friends that
ve joined us were confused
by two lines on the Preliminary Bud-
get of S.A.v.E. and the Backup Fund.
These are both programs I put into
place within EngSoc B to make our-
selves more fiscally responsible and
financially stable.
Backup Fund
Motion was passed in W95 by B-Soc
Council to set aside $1(XX) each term for
the next five terms for a Backup Fund,
to be used for financial emergencies.
This increases our stability and inde-
pendence. The impetus for this is when
I started as VP-Finance, B-Soc was some
$6k in debt and it became necessary that
we borrow that money from the Dean.
sities in Ontario elect ESSCO, the Engi-
neering Student Society Council of
Ontario. Jason Worry is currently
ESSCO VP-Finance. Along with
ESSCO you may have heard of confer-
ences such as PEO (professional Engi-
neers of Ontario), ESSCO Olympics,
OEC (Ontario Engineering Competi-
tion), and ESSCO AGM (Annual Gen-
eral Meeting). ESSCO serves primarily
as a communication link between the
Ontario Universities, but are interested
in expanding their role and are looking
Motion was passed in S% by B-Soc
Council to implement SAV.E., Season-
al Averaging of Variable Expenses. The
program divides EngSoc expenses into
fixed expenses, such as payroll, office
expenses or bank charges and variable
expenses, such as Speaker, POETS or
Arts. Fixed expenses account for
approximately 2/3 of the complete bud-
get. In the sununer there are less stu-
dents on campus, which means an
unfair proportion of the student fee is
allocated towards fixed expenses. To
correct this, $1250 is transferred from
the Winter and Fall budgets, to make an
additional $2500 available during the
summer term. In the past, summer
often ran deficits with fall and winter
running surpluses to balance. It increas-
es our professionalism to have a formal-
ized motion to address the situation
for feedback. Quebec, the Atlantic and
the West have their own regional
groups. Together these groups form
CFES- the Canadian Federation of
Engineering Students. You may have
heard of National conferences such as
CCES (Canadian Congress Engineer-
ing Students) and CEC (Canadian
Engineering Competition). Fabes used
to be CFES VP-Finance. If you are
interested in becoming involved with
any of these groups, I encourage you
to speak with Fabes or Jason.
The Sandford F1emjni Foundation
Waterloo Campus Actiyities
4306 Carl Pollock Hall, University of Waterloo
Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3Gl
(519) 888-4008
WELCOME BACK
Why don't you consider including one of the following competitions in your activities this tenn:
Technical Speaker
Competition
You can use your Work Term Report to win CASH. All students are invited to participate in the
Department Competitions. The presentation should be based on a work term experience. including
one or more satisfactory written reports. but not necessarily the most recent report. If you are
interested in participating. contact your undergraduate officer. Information packages are available
from Betty in the Orifice aru1 notify your department.
Participants may also be eligible to enter the Explanatory Communications Category
at OEC. Contact ENGSOC for further infonnation.
Ontario Engineering OEC will be held at McMaster University. Februru;y 14 -16. SFF of the Parlia-
Competition: mentary Debates Category and would like to see a lot of UW parttclpants lDvolved. If you
debated over whether you should enter this competition, contact the ENGSOC office for more detalls.
Engineering Debates: Held in late March. Contact Prof. Shesha Jayaram. E & CE, ext. 5337 for more info.
Funding for this award comes from your student contributions and depends on it for continuation.
An organization devoted to the advancement of engineering education.

oc e ws
pres ",spew
Doron Solomon
W
elcome back to another
great term on B-Soc! And
hello to all the former A-
Soc people who came over - the IB
and half the 4B classes, and half the
3A Civils. For those of you who don't
know me I'm Doran Solomon, the
President of B-50c, and the picture
over there is roughly what I look like.
Please feel free to drop by the Orifice
sometime and say Hi! Or if I'm actu-
ally in class, feel free to come to my
classes. You might learn more than I
do.
First thing on my list is the TOOL. In
the end of July, 1996 there was an inci-
dent involving the TOOL and a person
from the general public. The Waterloo
Regional Police were called by a woman
spotting the Tool Bearers, thinking that
these people were anned robbers. The
police didn't know that the Bearers
would be out that day, so they pursued
the report as a possible armed robbery.
Unfortunately, it was several hours of
mayhem before the police realized that it
was in fact us and not a band of armed
robbers. Some negative media followed
the incident, both in the Kitchener
Record and on CKCO Television's
nightly news broadcast
Since the incident, Dean Burns has
stepped in and enforced some changes
to the way in which the TOOL is han-
dled, in an attempt to prevent such an
incident from happening again. While
many of the changes made are agreeable
with the students, tllere are a few issues
which many students don't agree with.
In an effort to come to a compromise,
Jason Van Dyk (former A-Soc president)
has been discussing the :issue with Dean
Bums. Jason also asked the class reps to
distribute and collect a petition regard-
ing the TOOL. Within four days, Jason
received well over 700 signatures of stu-
dents who feel that the uniforms should
be left as is, with the exception of adding
the names of the different Engineering
disciplines down one side of the uni-
forms, in order to make the uniforms,
and consequently the Bearers, identifi-
able and distinguishable. The petition
also expressed a desire to restore the
anonymity of the Bearers by adding
gold face coverings while appearing on
campus. Failing to come to an agree-
ment, Jason requested the opporhmity
to discuss the issue with the Academic
Policy Committee (APC). Dean Bums
granted us the opportunity to express
our concems regarding tl,e :issue at an
APC meeting last term, but we were
never given the opportunity to discuss
the issue with the members of the APC.
As it stands currently, we are hoping to
have the opportunity to attend a second
APC meeting in which we hope to dis-
cuss the issue with the members of the
committee.
At the moment, the Tool Bearer uni-
forms have been modified: the word
ENGINEERING is written. in large gold
letters down one side of the front. Dean
Burns also insists that no face coverings
be used, in order that the Bearers be
identifiable and their image be less
threatening. A-Soc made a few appear-
ances of the TOOL with unmasked
Bearers last term, and the response was
varying. h, anticipation that this issue
will be settled shortly, I have decided to
temporarily hold off any TOOL appear-
ances. While it is unfortunate that we
cannot celebrate the spirit and enthusi-
asm surrounding our mascot, it is also
important to take the necessary precau-
tions to prevent an incident like the one
from last July happening again.
In other news, Dean Burns' term as
Dean will expire on June 30, 1998. In
accordance with university policy, a
nominating committee is being set up to
appoint a new Dean of Engineering.
The Engineering Students have one seat
on this committee. I am currently
accepting applications for this seat on
the committee. In your application,
include all your vitals, such as name, e-
mail, address, phone number, etc., and
state why you would like this position
and what you feel you can contribute to
the selection of a new Dean. 1 need all
applications by Friday, February 14,
1997 at 3:30 p.m. Applications can be
submitted to me in the Orifice by drop-
ping them in my mailbox. There is no
application form for this position Sim-
ply answer the above questions on a
piece of paper and submit it to me.
A couple of things to note with
respect to thi corrunittee. ll1e first
meeting is at th end of March, and fo1-
10'vving meeting will be more or less
weekly lU1til the process is complete and
a new Dean ha been selected. It is diffi-
cult to say exactly how long this will
take, but a good estimate would say that
the process should b done anytime
between mid-July and mid-September.
The weekly meetings are approximately
90 minutes and are held during the day.
Closer to the end of the process, there
will be 2 or 3 days in which ilie inter-
views take place, and tbis will involv('
full day conunilments. As a result, in
order to apply you must know N W
what your plans for n t term arc. YOll
must be able to spend a uplc of hOllrs
during the day oncc a week away from
work. Th m tings are on campus, so
you would have to be able to get h re
during th day. As well, it is imperative
that you attend all meeting'> of the com-
mittee, so if you plan on taking vacation
sometime this summer, you should not
apply. If you are considering applying
for the position, but are not sure if your
circumstances allow you to, please con-
tact me either in the Orifice or bye-mail
at eng..prez@novice.
Moving on to other applications, J am
currently looking for SuperHuges and
HeadCom for Orientation Week 1997. 1
you are interested, get into the Orifice
FAST, pick up an application, fill it out
and return it to me by Monday, January
27 at 3:30 p.m. If you want to be a Huge,
a Big Broth r / Sister r an Ed am, don't
worry as th applications for those posi-
tions \.vill be made a ailable in mid to
late F bruary. Again, if you have any
questions please feel free to drop by the
Orifice or e-mail me.
While till on the subject of applica-
tions, the FEDS annual election is com-
ing up in February. h1 addition to candi-
dates, they are looking for pe0-
ple to host the public forums.
The campaign period runs
from January 31 to February
10, and the forums will be
approximately 1.5 to 2 hours
long. If you are considering
rlU1n.ing or would like to host a
forum, contact the FEDS Chief
Returning Officer, Christy
Falkenberg, at clfalken@artsul
or call the FEDS office at 888-
4042.
Speaking of the FEDS, the
Life Projects Endow-
Fund is now accepting
lapPll(;ati()ns for funding. This
the priorities for disburse-
of funds are improve-
ment of safety on campus,
improvement of accessibility on cam-
pus, and improvement of current
lounge space. If you would like to apply
for funds, pick up an application either
from me or from the FEDS office. The
ilPllic"lion.-. art' due b FdwuiI 7th ,\1
4:30 in lh ' FEDS 0 {in.'. I( you haw <Iny
qUt'Slions 'I (flX' to conti ct dlhl'" m 'or
Mario Ildl'lb"rba .It (\lmpliS l' tl'r).'lion
247R.
TIkll's about aliI haw to COWl' right
now. 'l11ert.!'s a lot of sluff happening
this l 'n11 SO make sur \ you k( 'p ['('ading
th TW and coming oul to event", ml'Cl-
ings, and oth r fun tuff. cc again, if
YOll hove any olh1.'r )ncems,
inquiries, or if you want 10 give m \
money, either drop by th Orifice and
see m' (or if I'm not there y u can make
an appointment), or c-mnil me at
Ta-ta till next time!
Doran Solomon
Kim Whitear
M
ig welcome back B-soc greet-
ing goes out to everyone! I
pe you all had a great work
term and are ready for a term jam-
packed full of u p r ~ l EngSoc events!
As you probably noticed from the poster
outside POETS the first week back, there
are tons of new things happening thls
term! Below is a quick summary of a
few really important messages:
EngSoc Task Team
As part of my election campaign in
the summer, I promoted the idea of an
EngSoc Task Team. The idea was to cre-
ate a team of people who want to help
out with events here and there, but don't
want the commitment of a directorship.
That way, more people can get involved
John "Fabes" Faber
lE
W'S everyone doing. I'm
writing this at the last
. ute. I could never do this
before. For the National Executive the
report needed to be transla ted so I
had to have everything in at leas t
three months in advance. Luckily for
me the IW is just in English, parc' que
Je ne parle pas la Francais. Not bad. I
think I got a lot better.
So your probably wondering what I
did aU la ttenn, or maybe your not. My
bets are that you don't care and are just
reading this cause you saw a few words
in french and wonder what was going
on. Either way I'm about to tell you
what I did. As some of you may know
for the last year I have been on the Exec-
utive for the Canadian Federation of
Engineering Students. This is an organi-
zation which tries to facilitate communi-
cation with all the Engineering Societies
across Canada. I was VP Ontario, VP
Finance. It was fun. I got to attend a lot
of conferences because of it I also got to
attend because I'm VP X for you.
Any way here's a little break down of
what went on this summer. If you'd like
a detailed report of what the CFES did
thls year it can be found on there FTP
site. This site can be accessed at
www.cfes.ca Check it out. The page
should be fully operation by now, and

oe e ws
at their own convenience with no
commitments or specifics.
This term, the Task Team will be in
full force! Each class rep will post a sign-
up sheet in their class for anyone inter-
ested in being on the team (there will
also be one in the Orifice). In the next
two weeks, a master list will be com-
piled with everyone's names and e-
mails, and will then be available to all
the directors to use when they need
some help with an event! So, if you're
on the list and a director contacts you, let
them know if you are free to help out;
don't worry if you're not, as there will be
many opportunities.
Be sure to look for the Task Team
sign-up sheet in your classes or the Ori-
fice this week!
hopefully both the french and the eng-
lish version are working.
ESSCOAGM
The AGM was held at Queens Uni-
versity in beautiful Kingston Ontario. At
the Conference the ESSCO Executive,
the Engineering Student Societies coun-
cil of Ontario, had there accountability
session. I must say that this was one of
the highlights of the AGM, the Annual
General Meeting, in case you missed
that. During the Accountability session
we learned that very little had been
done by ESSCO and they blamed us.
While it is true that no sch I with in
ontario really cared about fSSCO back
then I personally felt that that was kind
of wrong. So ESSCO has been under
new management ever ince. It is work-
ing towards realistic goals and is achiev-
ing these. The President of ESSCO is
Julian Wright form U of T, VP Educa-
tion is Eloise Harvey for Mcmaster and
FYI
As you may
have already noticed, there is a new col-
umn in this issue of the IW! The ''FYI''
column is your opportunity to provide
feedback on the engineering society and
receive published responses directly
from the exec! All you have to do is pop
your comment/suggestion in the new
suggestion box outside the Orifice and
the rest is history! (See the column on
page 20 for more details)
So far, we've already had some
SUPER successful events! A huge
thanks goes out to Andre Brisson and
Jason Kimball for putting together a
great beginning of term pub, the special
events directors for warming up a
Thursday night with the Gold
had the pleasure of getting myself
on the long term planning committee
for fSSCO with Dustin, President of the
Western Engineering Society, and Lucy,
from U of T, and the new VP Ontario
since CCES. We are working towards
the future of ESSCO. If you have any
ideas as to what you think ESSCO
should be please tell me I would like to
hear from you.
OESP
( Ontario engineering Society Presi-
dents) At OESP we rehashed what
ESSCO was doing. This was fun. Other
important thing carne out of the meet-
ing, but un fortunately I can't put them
here. If you have any question or would
like to know please ask me.
PEOIUES
This conference was held at Guelph,
in a very lovely hotel. The talk of the
conference again turned to fSSCO and
many debates where had on the future
of ESSCO and what it should be doing.
CCES
(Congress of Canadian Engineering
Students) This was the big one. I had to
go to Sherbrooke on the 28th of Decem-
ber to start setting up for the congress.
Being on the exec ment putting together
the annual report, and running work-
shops. I was not there as a delegate so
Crown Brewery tour and all the other
directors working their butts off to make
this winter 'CJ1 tenn unforgettable!
Here are the quickly approaching
events which are coming soon to an
EngSoc near you:
January 29-30 Engweek
January 30 Brunny Trip
January 31 SCUNT
Oteck the monthly calender outside
POETS for new events!
Well, I think that's all for now, folks!
If you have any questions about any-
thing at all, feel free to hunt me down or
e-mail me at eng.... vpint@novice; I also
want to meet as many of the new B-
Soc'ers as possible!
I hope to see you all out at the next
event!
Ciao! Kim (brought to you by
the letters 0, Q and the number 6)
unfortunately I didn't get to
attend the Speaker that much. The dele-
gate who went will be able to tell you
more about the conference itself. How-
ever it was fun and I'm Done! ImM
Done! I'm Done!
For your information the National
Exec utive of the Canadian federation of
Engineering Students is:
President - Aaron - from University of
Saskatchewan
VP External - Monika - University of
Alberta
VP Internal - Lucy - University of
Toronto
VP Finance - Pep - Ecole Polytech-
nique
VP Education - Brian - University of
New Brunswick
Let's hope they have fun. If you want
to talk to these people you can send a
message to c:fesexec@unb.ca
If you would like to get on the link
and talk to engineering student across
the country you can get on the link by
send a message to listserv@unb.ca The
message should be sub CCES-L "Your
Name" "Your1TfLE"
That's it Nothing else.
Any way I1l tell you everything else
about my life later. Have fun and see
you later.

oc e ws
VPFinance
dian Congress of Engi-
neering Students 1997
in Sherbrooke Quebec.
Jason Worry
H
i-De-HO people .. .it's the first
installment from the financial
world. After an extremely
busy work term, I have many things
to report that in some way involve the
engineering society at the University
of Waterloo. Over the work term I
attended many different conferences,
rejoiced many times with tons of engi-
neering students from across Ontario
and Canada. I went to ESSCO AGM
where I became the Vice-President of
Finance for ESSCO. In addition, I
went to Ontario Engineering Student
Presidentfs conference where
ESSCO' s goals short and long term
were presented, Professional Engi-
neers of Ontario in Guelph, and Cana-
Keith Parker
H
ey all out there! Welcome
back to Waterloo and the
Winter 97 term. This is going
to be an incredibly busy term with
WEEF affairs! Luckily I have a really
strong team working with me. This
term we will be giving out about $5O,CXX)
dollars, so start coming up with ideas on
what you think this money should be
spent on.
Things happening this tenn are:
Redefinition of WEEP rep's responsi-
bilities: It seems that typically many
classes have trouble finding a
WEEP rep, and even when they do,
there is often mediocre participation
by the WEEP reps in the affairs of
the foundation One of the reasons
has been attributed to a perceived
ilack of real importancei To allevi-
ate this Karnil Pawlowski, James
McLenaghan, and Steve Pontisso
are working together to redesign
what WEEF reps are supposed to
do, and prepare a WEEP rep pack-
In the local
news, the Corporate
Manager proposal was
passed after much heat-
ed and valuable debate
during a couple of A-
Soc meetings. Mcuy, our
fabo C&D manager, will be taking over
this role while still juggling the C&D
Manager position. The new budget with
actuals will be presented at the next
Engineering Society meeting upon all of
the directorship budgets have been
passed in. Please if you are a director, get
your budget form in as soon as possible
so that each directorship will have suffi-
cient funds for all of those wild and
crazy activities planned.
The start of a new era with the cre-
ation of the EGAD committee so that the
engineering society can become larger,
more powerful, and influential in the
business world. Quoted "Someone do
the math for me and tell me when we're
gonna buy McGiniss". I'm starting out
on a new stepping stone and hopefully it
won't sink due to the enormous weight
age, that will help WEEP reps talk to
their class and explain to their class,
everything about WEEP. They will
also be developing a professional
slide presentation package that will
be used for frosh week, presenta-
tions to corporations, etc. ..
Development of a plan to get corpo-
rate donations: Gloria Tam and
Leng Limmany will be devising
ways to start getting corporate
donations or sponsorships. Chris
Sharpe is looking at getting a com-
pany to match the Plummeris
Pledge, and Chris and I are going to
be working on Employer Matching
being put on it. I will be leaning on my
finance director for assistance in the
future for completing many of the tasks.
In the future, look for the engineering
society becoming officially a charity, a
finance guide to finally be written (stop
laughing mike) and the possibility of
opening an engineering used bookstore.
Information to be written in every-
one's day timer - all director checks and
what not will be printed and ready in
the afternoon of each Thursday. This is
done in order to keep my books always
in order and shouldn' t be a problem to
meet. However, the cut off time for
director expense forms to be received by
me in order to have checks issued will
be Wednesday by high noon at the OK
Contributions.
Increasing WEEF awareness
within Waterloo Engineer-
ing: There are many ideal' at
this point. W will be trying
to look into getting WEEF
mentioned by prof' or in
Lab Manual r ourses that USC
WEEF-funded guipment. Ryan
Anderson and Eric Vand'w gh
will be trying to search down aU th
WEEF-funded equipment, and
somehow mark our territory. Th Y
will also see how useful it is, and
perhaps try to do some stats on
whether or not the funds hav been
well spent
Easier to fill out proposals? Kamil and
Ryan will be handling most of the
proposal&-stuff. A new form will be
out and hopefully this term every-
one will be able to send in their pro-
posals electronically, off Our home
page.
Other stuff that needs to be done:
Home Page Maintenance: We need
someone that can redeSign, and
ocral!!
The Iron Warrior will be research-
ing purchasing a digital camera or some-
thing maller. In addition, the C&D is
ctU"rently in th process of approving of
a ign to be displayed outsid of the Cof-
fee and Donut Engin ring Shop. This
sign would reply information to all pe0-
ple passing by through inscrtable labels
and an erasabl whiteboard built into
th ign. I know that it is ery difficult to
picture in your head now ... but just wait
and . However, we are running into
some difficulty due to the poor condi-
tion of the Foyer in Carl Pollock Hall.
111e major complaint is that the Foyer is
always in a shambles and we need to
improve the look of the foyer so if how-
ever one wants to help out, go and pick
some of the garbage that is lying around
on the floor. Furthermore, you could
make sure that the foyer is kept clean.
Thanks in advance.
I think that I've spewed enough out
on this paper for now ... perhaps I will
spew more later on tOnight at the BOT.
See everyone there!
implement a n 'W hotn<' pagt' for us.
I.kochll.rc: We will aln:ady lkwc allth'
information compiled, but we nc x:I
omcon) to tk'Sign a professional
looking infOImation pil age. Pic-
lll.r 57 omputcr ,rilphics? The
skyis the limit. W 1J lmOht. TI1is
brochure will be primarily USl>d to
give information to external compa-
nies or groups.
Please send me in any suggestions,
comments, questions, offers to help out
that you may have. I can be reached at
endowment@helix, drop a note in the
WEEP mail box in the Orifice, or drop
by the WEEP office. Good Luck in the
New Year!
A
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Shannon Mclaren
sjmc1aren@novice
Cheryl Card
clcard@novice
Herbert Noriega
hfnorig@mechanicaJ
Kelly Butt
kabutt@novice
Diana Wang
dcywang@novice
Bill Gray
wvgray@elecom2
Audric So
a3sogaff
Siu Lan Lee
sl2Ieewhecl
EdFletch r
aefletchmechanical
Mike Olley
mfdolley@novice
IRON WARRIOR
Chris Foster
ccfoster@mechanicaJ

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tlo@novice
Tara Stuart
tl4stewa@mechanical
Herbert Noriega
hfnorieg@mechanicaJ
Jennie Dann
jadann@::ivil
Ian Marsh
ijmarshchemical
Melanie Hammond
mhammondchemicaJ
MichcaJ Worry
maworry@novice
Jason KimbaU
Karen Genoway
Karen Genoway
kcgenoway@chemicaJ
Craig Walker
cwalker@mechanical
Michael Hennann
mhennann@novice
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Michael Hermann
mhermann@novice
AlexMatan
amatan@gaff
Vineet Sinha
vsinha@novice
Greg Jones
gjones@cllemicaJ
Steve Gayowsky

Cord Cepuran
gcepuran@novice
Brian Cepuran
bjcepura@novice
Brenda Bouchette
bjbouche@electricaJ
SriArthan
sarthan@novice
Nathan Doidge
nrdoidge@novice
Bill Gray
wvgray@elecom2
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Lynn Zupancic
rnzupanci@::ivil
Keith Parker
bkparker@novice
Monica Milanowski
mmilanow@novice
Michaet ennann
mhermann@novice
Shannon McLaren
sjmc1aren@novice
Kyle Corbett
krcorbet@novice
Karen Genoway
kcgenoway@d1erniati
Bruce Davidson
Rachel
Brenda Bouchette
bjbouche@electricaJ
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Alleged News -
EngSoc Meeting 1
Alex Matan, 1B Electrical
Here's what you may have missed at
the first EngSoc meeting of the term:
Melanie Hammond
mharrunond@chemical
Letitia Kwok
lkwok@novice
Brian Vidler
bhvidlerchemical
Brenda Bouchette
bjbouche@electrical
Jason Kimball
jkkimbal@chemical
Andre Brisson
albrisso@civil
Tony Campbell
Carrie Junker
ajunker@civil
Nicole Henson
snhenson@chemical

oe e ws
Wicked new photocopiers are now in
the Orifice - you can use the latest tech-
nology to make handsome copies of
your posterior for only 5 cents. Dean
Burns will be retiring June 30, 1998 - if
you would like to sit on the committee
that picks his replacement, talk to EI
Presidente Doron Solomon. Two seats
on the university senate are also avail-
able - if you want power without
p
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OlerylCard
cicard@novice
Tom Mclenaghan
tjmclena@Wheel
Shariza Hassan
sshassan@Wheel
Trecia Brown
ta2brown@Systems
Wahini Arnbihapathy
wambihap@systems
Bill Gray
wvgray@elecom2
Mike Worry
maworry@novice
Tara Stewart
t14stewa@mechanical
Nicole Henson
snhenson@chemical
Mike Worry
maworry@novice
re ponsibility, pick up a nomination
form at the Feds ffice in SLC. Wh ver
won the OEC 96 trophy, plea estop
using it as a really cool Batch mug and
return it ASAP. The first of this tenn'
Bridging the Gap lectures ""ill be given
by Larry Smith, January 28, 11:30 a.m,
EL-101. Vibrating pagers are now in use
by EngSoc executives and are also avail-
able for special events, among other
s
P
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Maggie Maclennan
Andrew Mulder
Carrie Junker
ajunkel@civiJ
Brian Cepuran
bjcepura@gaff
AlexMatan
amatan@gaff
Lclita Kwok
lkwok@novicc
P terGordon
Scott James
Bill Gray
wvgray@elecom2
Mike Lynch
m21ynch@elecom2
things. The mythical blotters are in.
Th y are free to all and have a million
and three uses. When VPF Jason Worry
was asked I/Do you wear briefs or a g-
string ?" h visibl revealed the fact he
wore neither. He is also randomly quot-
ed as saying: "I plugged the toilet at
CAE in Montreal, also." J. Wony is also
apparently a freqUel1t contributor to the
cu jar in ilie Orifi and doesn't like
the thing. "Task Teams" are being
in1plemented; part-time volunteers now
ha e an outlet for their urge to do work
EngWeek: Jan. 27-30. WEEF ha over
$54K to bum. Some 4B Elecom are boy-
cotting WEEF in protest of the Dean's
refusal to allow them to keep their pool
table in their study room. WEEF sup-
porters insist that the protest is only
hurting fellow plummers, not the Dean.
Rebels claim that it is the only thing they
can do and that ilieir WEEF money is
being held in escrow for eventual contri-
bution when the crisis is resolved. We
all pray that this can be settled without
further bloodshed. A drop box is
planned so that the lW submi.ssion
deadline can extend to midnight on Fri-
days. IW wants coop employers to
advertise in this fine rag -let IW know if
you have any contacts. And there's still
plenty of room for volunteers at IW
(staff get to find out the magical code for
the IW Door). The beloved TOOL is
confined to campus with specific excep-
tions. The Bearers are denied their face
coverings (even in the cold, blowing
wind - how CTll<'i I). DiSCllsc;ions with
11w l.ldt'mic ('()lllrniUt will lx'
Iwld In II' I Il) f(I1' Illl' n.")ol IS
lil1l'rl . /\ propos.ll to cl"('.lll' F J)
C,rowth ilnd !A'wlopl11l'nt), ,1
broinslolming group to dn.'cltn up f.1I"
f'tchl'd plans for FngSoc, W.)S pil..,scd
(nott'd abstentions: MMk Vidh'r .1I1d
John FalX'r). lass N, ml'S: 113 Comp
In OMPclent, 113 M('Ch,mi al Orgils-
MECll, 1 B Civil - IVilis was pmposc j
and rej Lcd by the class. Amy "Sub
way" Cn. n, the big ch !SC al Students
AdviSing Coop (and Mathi ), lalked
about the need for volw1trers at SA.
She enlightened liS of her plight - "J
can't do anything, and r don't know
anyone to do it with." - Amy Green.
After the meeting, complimentary Milk
and Cookies were enjoyed by all.
You too can be dazzled and disgust-
ed, just come to the next EngSoc meet-
ing - everyone is welcome.
Our professional staff can help you
with all types of printing - from
business cards to four colour work.
Give us a call:
PRINTING - ext 5176
DESIGN - ext 2079
PHOTO IMAGING - ext. 6807
Graphics Express*
South Campus Hall
SCH 126, ext. 5740; Fax (519) 746-2698
Monday to Friday: 8:00 am - 8:00 pm
Saturday: 12:00-4:00 pm
Dana Porter library
LIB 218, ext 2956; Fax (519) 746-3590
Monday to Friday: 8:00 am - 5:00 pm
CaJl for evening/weekend hours