The Magazine of the University of Waterloo Engineering Society
Volume 10 Issue 2 Scunting all night The "Visions of a Delirious Mind" Issue RON ARRIOR One month, six hours, 3 minutes, and counting .... Mike Hermann IW Assistant Editor 2A Systems - The Far Syde H the time you read this we'll all be one month . . to this cold and snowy tenn, and I thought it would be a good. time to reflect back on some of the fun we've had so far. The list of great stuff is impressive. So far we've had two printings of the Iron Warrior, a director's meeting, a class reps meeting, three Eng Soc council meetings, a Brewery Tour, the B.O.T. (Beginning Of Tenn) Pub, 2 meetings of the E.G.A.D. committee, nothing at all, two Bridging the Gap lec- tures, SCUNT, Eng week, the FSSCOlympics, Exchange Pub, the unveiling of the Concrete Toboggan and Mid- night Sun, and OEC '98 planning is taking off. And that's just the stuff I can remember! As far as I'm con- cerned it's been a great tenn so far, and it's loold.ng great in the future too. Shadow Days, National Engineering Week, IRS, Grad Week, Campus Day, Tal-Eng, Bus Push, more !W's and council meetings, and many other exciting events await your participation. Now that I've got you all feverish in anticipation of what's coming, 111 ca.l.m you down by relating some of those great events that happened. A lot of them never got any stories in the IW, but they will at least get a few lines here, in my humble rambling. On that note, I would like to make a request that any event organizers please write up a little something about the event (or ask someone involved), and let us all know how great it was. Way back during the second week of this term, our amazing Spirited Events Directors organized a brewery tour to the new Gold Crown Brewery, which is located beside the Huether Hotel. Over 30 engineers made the long and cold trek to this shrine of beer. It was an inter- esting tour (J think they had some equipment of some kind upstairs), and the beer was great. I suggest that Mulder never be allowed to man a tap again. A true believer in the "one for you, one for me" philosophy. That week was also B.O.T. pub week. On the Friday night POETS was open for business, and it was a blast. Despite the hurting status of the amp, the music blared, and the engineers gathered 10 bond after a long work- term apart. On another important note, the amp in POETS is currently feeling under the weather. It works, but only on one audio channel. If anybody knows any- thing about fixing very high powered stereo equip- ment, or knows somebody in the business, talk to the POETS managers. Eng Week was the last week in January, and if you'd like to read! see more about, look further into this issue. By the way, that's me in the picture dropping an egg off the POETS balcony. What you don't see is the wonder- ful egg holder with a parachute that Faisal Karmali and I built. With a few blotters, rubber bands, duct tape, and some string a couple guys from systems can do anything! The last Thursday in January was the first Brunny trip of the term. Almost 40 engineers descended on the Brunswick House in Toronto, and every single one had a great time. Even the bus trip there was fun, with the sounds of "The Gambler" and 'The Plummer's Hymn" keeping our spirits high. It was an awesome 6 or so hOUTS, and the place was packed. with us, people from the University of Guelph (it's amazing who you meet in a bar) and many, many others. These kind of things are always best when the building is packed, and this was no exception. The trip ended with a silly scuffle between us and some very opinionated locals. It should be noted that fighting is never the answer to that kind of stupidity, and many thanks to everyone who helped clear things up. Cooler heads prevailed, and we returned home. The E.GAD. committee has by now had it's second meeting, and it is continuing to look hard at Eng Soc's future. Eventually it will be providing recommenda- tions to the Exec and Council, SO if you'd like to help advise on the future of your society, you're welcome to attend any meeting of the committee. The next one will be posted, and you can always put a note in the E.GAD. box in the orifice if you just want to drop off a suggestion. The Bridging the Gap series of lectures is now in full tilt, and as you read this two have been d e l i v e ~ I attended. the larry Smith lecture on 'The Engineer as a Free Agent", and he lived up to his reputation as an intelligent, interesting speaker. A very large number of people were there, and I hope everybody walked away with something important from it Not everybody may agree with all his comments, but I challenge anybody to say that taking an active interest in your own career is not an imperative thing to do in today's competitive world. Paul Bea.m. a Professor from the English department, spoke on the history of the Iron Ring at the seoond lec- ture. Many people attended, with a large showing from the fourth years. It was an interesting lecture, and while he didn't really have anything earth-shattering to say, it was enlightening to hear about the origins of the Iron Photo by Alex Malan Ring Ceremony, specifically Rudyard Kipling's contri- butions. The OEC '98 planning is starting to take fonn. Susan Lee, the "B" Soc chairperson, has named her executive, and I know that they are still looking for people to help out. Anybody who wants to contribute should e-mail Susan at oec98@Shim. People to help with putting together the corporate package and sponsorship are needed, so if you want to make those big connections with business, or if you've already got them, your par- ticipation would be welcomed. As I mentioned before, even with all the great stuff that's been happening, there's still exciting events on the horizon Shadow Days are coming up in a month, on March 4th and 5th, so if you want to sign up to be a Shadowee, visit the orifice and put a note in the Shad- ow Day Director's mail slot, or sign up on the list your class rep posted. National Engineering Week is also during the first week in March, and I'm sure youl1 hear lots from the Exec about what's going to be going on then. Bus Push is also on the schedule!. so check out the article from the Director's elsewhere in this issue. There'$ lots happening, so check the events calendar on the back cover of this IW. I1l see you at __ (fill in your favourite event). 111 be the guy who looks like me! Mike Edtlor-In-Chlef Chris "Sabre Saw . Foster Assistant Editor Michael "Pipe Wrench" Hermann Iron Warrior Staff $100,000 Surplus What it is and where it ca me from 4 Fed Hall To Office Space And Students Still Pay The Mortgage 5 A State of Delirium Scunt 6-7 ESSCO Serving 18,000 people, 365 days a year 8 Bus Push '97 How to push a bus with a rope! 9 New Zealand II Here Comes The Rain Again 12-13 'I Occidental Tourist Ramblings of a guy 17 Iron Warrior Arts The creative engineer 18-19 Youth Challenge International 20 The Celestine Prophecy Life is not n lIlultiple' choice qllize 22-23 Happenings with EngSoc The Exec Spew about going-ons 25-28 RON $1 00,000 Surplus Keith Parker WEEF Director L What? WEEP has received approximately $100,(XX) in unex- pected and available income. 2 Where this came from. The Bylaws of the WEEF state that all income gener- ated must be used as funding grants (with the excep- tion of administrative oosts). Since 1995, in a measure to combat inflation, Financial Services has been re- investing 2% of the principal by talOng that amount from the interest earned. Since WEEP is growing at a rate far greater than inflation, this protection is of no concern to us. After several discussions with Financial Services and other student endowment funds, a deci- sion was made to return all funds wrongly re-invested (according to the Bylaws) and that these funds be made available as soon as possible. 3. Distribution The Board of Directors have unanimously decided that the $l00,(XX) being returned will go to a one-time major capital purchase. 4. Reasons for Lump-Sum Distribution A) This will have a larger and more lasting impact than if simply distributed as nomlaI. If this large fund was simply added to the regular funding pot, then questionable requests will get funded because money would 'have' to be spent B) Generate interest in WEEP. This will be a great opportunity to show students what their money can do for them. This will also show corporations what their money could do for Waterloo Engineering. q (relates to above) There would be an opportunity to get media coverage for the opening of the facilities that this decision will fund. This will promote WEEP and Waterloo Engineering. D) Tn the past, there has been discussion on holding back WEEP funds to make a major purchase. This pur- chase can be made now with no impact to regular funding. We will still have significantly more money available next year for regular funding decisions than we were originally expecting. E) This will be a benchmark in the WEEF history. This would bring WEEP out of its infancy and into a time where everyone in the faculty recognizes the power that WEEP and the students hold. 5. Format for Funding Decision. Proposals: Proposals will be for a major capital purchase up to $100,(0) A major capital purchase constitutes a purchase made for undergraduate lab/computer/etc equip- ment that will remain on University property indefinitely, and that has a price tag > $6O)XX) The $100)XX) could be for partial funding of a larger project (e.g. the proposal can be for $100,(XX) of a $5OO,(XX) project), but no partial funding of what's been requested can be awarded (e.g., if request is for $70)XX); then $45,000 cannot be awarded from WEEF under the assumption funding will come from other sources, because it probably won't). A special guideline to writing the proposal will be developed due to the importance of the decision. Information requested will include: impact on the faculty; improvements to students immediately and in long term; what will happen if funding is not granted; how can WEEP be promoted if fund- ing is granted? Departments putting proposals together must con- sult with the students. This can be through an open forum, email, class prof hour, WEEF reps, etc. Important Steps/Dates Wednesday, February 12 -Proposal form and Infor- mation sheets are made available. Friday, March 21 - Proposal Forms and all related information are to be submitted. Fri Mar 21 to Tue Mar 25 - Proposals read by a panel of about 5 students, and one faculty member. Questions are formulated, information cross- checked. for anomalies. Tue Mar 25 to Fri Mar 28 - Half hour presentations are made to the p ~ e l Missing information is requested, suggestions for improvements are made. April to 3rd week in May- Presenters make adjust- ments, panel continues cross-cllecking info for accuracy, and develops more questions ensuring not one detail is missed. Final proposals are writ- ten and submitted. May 26-30 - Proposals are read by WEEF reps to allow them to question presenters and discuss ideas. June 2-6 - Proposals are presented. Funding council (WEEP reps) makes decision. June 9-13 - Board of Directors meeting to approve the decision. Discussion relating to the handling of the large funding decision will be generated.. Funds shoulcLbe available as of that week WEEP Approved Spending - Fall '96 Civil Hard Drive Space Uninterruptible Power Supplies Refrigerator PH/ISE Meter Computers for 4th yr. Civil Room Environmental Server and Computer Stations Otemical Laptop E&CE Watstar Upgrades Uninterruptible Power Supplies RLCBridge Computers for 4th yr. E&CE Room Hard Disks for 4th yr. E&CE Room Systems Control Systems Station DADS Upgrade Mechanical Master CAM Software Materials Testing Machine General Usage Equipment for Machine Shop 1.1 GB Hard Drive for Watstar 4.3 GB Hard Drive for Web Server Civil $1,600 Civil $1,300 Civil $500 Civil $975 Civil Eng Students $3,383 Env Eng Students $3,200 Olernical $1,600 E&CE $2,200 E&CE $981 E&CE $958 E&CE Student $2,500 E&CE Student $1)XX) Systems $3,475 Systems $828 Mechanical $1,848 Mechanical $6,(XX) Engineering Mach. Shop $2,125 Engineering Computing $4,288 Engineering Computing $1,543 DepMUnentalSubrotal Student Projects Parts for Car Entrance Fee, Construction, etc. Max. Power Point Trackers Parts for car and for testing Parts and tools for car Mini Baja '97 Snow Warrior Midnight Sun Team PROPeh?NE Formula SAE '97 Parts for aircraft UW Aero '97 Registration and licenses SAE Aero Design Startup oosts Concrete Toboggan '98 Part for Glider '97 CASI Freeflight Glider Attendance Coots for Conference Student Society for Mech Eng Experimental Jet Engineer Lab E-JEL Principal Design Group WIND Energy Conference Mech Eng Students Student Project Subtotal: $13,925 (25.69"10) Grand Total: $54,239 $1,250 $2)XX) $2,250 $2)XX) $2,(XX) $400 $335 $500 $800 $800 $1,400 $200 $7,758 $3,200 $1,600 $7,639 $4,303 $7.,848 $7,956 $40,304 RON MINI BAJA "ROUGH R DERS" 1997 Steven Peplinski 48 Mechanical I f you've been through E31ately you may have seen parts of the 1997 Mini Baja car coming together. Thanks to a lot of work by tearn mem- bers the project is almost on schedule and the car will be running by May. Cmphics aJllrtesy Milli Baja T rolll '97 The Mini Baja is a tudent competition sponsored by the SAR The purpose is to build a ing1 seat off-road vehicle powered by an 8 HP Briggs and Stratton engine. The competition includes maneuverability, acceleration. braking, hill climb and tractor pull events. The final event is a 4 hour endurance race on a motorcross track. With almost 80 cars flying around the track (literally!), the racing is hard on both drivers and machines. The 1997 competition takes place May 30 -June 1 in Dayton. Ohio. Around 80 schools are expected to com- pete from Canada, the US, Mexico and South America. The Waterloo entry is sure to be competitive. Our new aluminum frame is nearing completiOI\ thanks to WEEF funding and welding donated by Seaborn Man- ufacturing. A rolling chassis will be complete for the display at the Toronto International Autoshow. The most unique feature of the 1997 car will be the hydraulic drivetrain. Gears, chains or belts will not be used to transfer power from the engine to the wheels. Instead a hydraulic pump will be attached to the engine. Fluid will flow from the pump to a small motor attached to each of the back wheels. This system should provide lighter weight and better reliability than our usual homemade gear /belt/ chain transmissions. Thanks to donations from Wajax Fluid Power and Eaton Hydraulics we will be able get the exact parts we need to be successful . If you are interested in helping out you can either email me (sppeplinmechanica1) or drop by at one of our weekly meetings, every Thursday@ 11:30 E3 2103 A/B. FED HALL COULD BE TURNED INTO OFFICE SPACE (And students would still be paying the mortgage) Keith Parker FEDSRep 2A Systems - The Far SyDe ~ e above statement will be true if you don't go out and vote for Federation Hall on Referen- dum Days. On February 11 and U, the fate of Fed Hall will be decided on. On the ballot is two questions: 1. Do you believe that the University of Waterloo Federation of Students should continue to operate Federation Hall? Yes No 2 In the event that a majority of voters are in favour of keeping Federation Hall open, do you wish to see a $5 increase in your Federation Hall fee for the Fall 1997, Winter 1998, and Spring 1998 terms only, to be used for capital improvements to Federation Hall? Yes No The First Question: If the answer by a majority of people is YES, Fed Hall will remain open. The second question will then decide whether or not renovations will be made, or how soon they will be made. If the answer is NO, Fed Hall will be shut down, and the university will take it over. We will till hav to pay the $7.so Fed Hall Fee each and every term up until th \ year 2005, but instead of going to it for th occasional concert, frosh week or other special event, the university will most likely tum it into office space or a banqu t hail The Second Question: If the answer to the first question is Yes, this question comes into play. If the answer is Yes, we will pay an extra five dollars in the Fall and next Summer (for us B- Soc. people) with our Fed Hall Fee and the extra $5 to go towards renovations to Fed Hall to bring it up to today's standards (it hasn't been touched since it opened in 1984). If the answer is No to this question (and Yes to the first) then the status quo will remain. There is NO REASON for Fed Hall to be Oosed But lots of reasons to keep it open! Why dose Fed Hall, when there is no cost associated with keeping it open? If we dose it we still have to pay the mortgage (represented by the $7.50 on our tuition fee statements), and get nothing in return for it Fed Hall brings us Con- certs, Summerfests, Winterfests, Frosh Week parties, gives the younger generation 19 years old) a place to go on Friday nights, and a whole lot more. Fed Hall is even turning a profit for the PEDs since new manage- ment took it over less than a year ago. That money is ours < nd will go into making Ihi 11.,11 bdt 'f, ,md ( ulcl aL'lO help the r.rol'ration of Stud \ n ~ providl' mOI\ Sl' vi to us. U you don't go out and vote, we could 106e Fed Hall foreverl Next year wh n you have to find a way to go t downtown Kitchencr to . Moist, or when you can't see Our Lady of Pea because they're playing at the size-limited Bombsh Iter, don't be caught ying "if only I'd taken the five minutes it to vo ". The truth is that most people only go to vot wh J'\ they want change. Don't sit around and let this happen. What can you do? Go and Vote on Fbruary 11 and 12, in the CPH foyer between 9:00 am and 4:30 pm. If you want Fed Hall to remain open, but wish to see no renovations done and no extra fees added: Vate YES to question number one and NO to question number two. If you want Fed Hall to remain open AND would also like to see capitaJ improvements made, vote YES to question one and YES to question two. It's your chance to have your say. Don't forget! Get out and vote on Feb 11th or 12th! It's as easy as going 'to theC&O. Ryan Chen-Wing just a guy Tonka D . Schulz debonair psychologist strode into the ecture hall followed by his assistants. "Wel- come!" Schulz began the lecture as his assis- tants handed out programs to the groups in the audi- ence. Delirium was the topic of discussion and horrible Dekes ''Killer'' Kadougan the subject of study. Dekes was born June IS, 1959 and following a normal childhood began falling into his present insanity. Thirteen years ago he was captured but has not been fully understood or cured. since then. Team in the audience were asked to participate in the seminars and workshops throughout the day in hope they could afford insight into curing Kadougan. The time came to introduce [)ekes, the subject, but not after a solemn warning by the doctor., ''Kadougan is very dangerous and has escaped before." Strict security mea- sures were being taken. Guards slammed shut each door in sequence and reported it secure. "Bring in the subject!" Delirum Scunt A defiant figure in orange priuson coveralls and chains was led into the room flanked by four guards. Dekes fell Tonka and friends, masters of the Scunt feircely poised to go home and sleep roughly back into a chair where a guard shoved him. The Killer, Dekes Kadougan glared at the doctor coldly. A movie, narrated by Schulz began to play. The movie detailed Dekes's life as a child and the background of his five obsessions. Clinical observation film was shown of each one. His child-toy fixation was shown as he played with lego oblivious to the outside world. A pot on his head, a lid and egg beater in his hand indicated his medieval delu- sion as he saw himself as a warrior-knight. Next was the Great White North where he drank beer after beer and wore an old Oktoberfest hat. Disco music blared and he danced around like a loony monkey in his retro stage. Wanting to be like his dad, Kadougan was finally shown in his mechanjcal engineering obsession. This drew a piC- ture of this deluded man's insanity, but how did he come to be here in front of this audience? The movie continued with his capture seven agents tracked him down on an old highway at night. He was apprehended and has been in detention ever since. "We are very concemed that we deal with ... " the lights went out suddenly and all was bla k. "Wrult'S going on?" A scream shook the darkness; a chair hit the floor. "Hhhngh," Dr. Schull gnmtcd as something knockt.>d him unconcious. Two bruards were pu.c;hed to the floor as a defiant figure flew out the door. Security cameras on showed Killer Kadougan rwming down the corridors and up the stairs to finally reach his freedom. A guard who had chased aft r him burst back into the roomandannounccd,"He'sgonc./f rynus began Tonka's Dclirium Sclmt sparking the fire of .l fun and craziness that would bum throughout the night. As I think about the Scunt highlights abound. In every single event I participated in, judged, was even near I delighted in with wild fun. The opening ceremonies were so great except for a cou- ple of miscues for Dekes to escape whid\ made it all more laughable. Tn Box Furniture we got to try out some easy chairs made from cardboard and were entertained by total reality television. people jumping around and being fools. Damo and Tom try to hit the broad side of a continued on opposite page Cobnbia lceflekh No you take out the trash you bastard Put the lime in the coconut OASys visits Tonka's disco party Well twist it on baby now, shout and twist. Sumters, gods and siamese twins twist in space.
along night is over Andrea and Natacha sleep of the fun little while later someone told me that the OASys, A 5< Y De, team hEld arrin.'d. All excited I ran over to the fish bo\,\'\ e :peeting to see some familiar faces from on of my fay urite , 'stems cI What I saw was two unfamiliar faces, "Are you OASy?" "Yeah!" n,en I recognized something, "YOU'rE:' Matt's brother right." It turns out the OASys team WilS the highschool brother of an AS's guy, Oem, and Dan's friend Tom. So I I ft them to make a giant sling, hot, still reeling from the weirdness of it a 11. Back nt POETS 1 saw ara and Jenny from the Taxi Envengers getting their arrns tap d together for the Siamese T\\ins cvent. Throughout thc night they would compete in vents for c tra points. Following that, I went to olumbia Fields to sec the atapult E,' nt and then Ultimate Frisbc0. 11,cn I came back to \,vatch som ,Iadiator ev nt like snow wrestling, padded joust and trobe pillow fight. Lego mechanisms was next and I got a back massage from a lego back mac;- sager, yeah. Talk Show was next where scunters had to come up with characters to play in a stereotypical talk how. We had a body-building pink haired super-model with a goa- tee, a pregnant sex changed husband of a mutually modi- fied spouse, a schizophrenic mother of siamese twins and a crazy guy. Saying needlessly, chaotic lunacy ensued. Eating contest was next where the kids in pairs had to eat all of a sub, cookies, crackers, wine gums, peanut but- ter, samosa, ju-jubes, and gwmni berries. Oh my stom- ach! Soon after was th.ree-dim.ensional twister. We amused ourselves by making people contort themselves or , "twist" around to stay on the colours. Right after that I was in CPH Foyer with Danna and Tom, the OASys kids, and Chris Ford from OASys walked in, "Hey Chris. How're ya doin'?" I shook his hand, II Alright, do you know where the high school kids are." 'They're right here," Chris had flown down from Ottawa to compete in the Scunt, which just shows our drawing power. Cowagooba! We rushed off to headquarters visits. First was Math's Operation Pink. Where they presented us wilb ,11 'n millioll digIt v.lhlt ' of pi. I1w 1 k. .. and I'dl 'S]-um'flts while t1ll'y with tlwir ,1I1Ii( . At No upportoID Ml'ch {{('lid 11<.) w ' p\'\yl.xj and ping pong and wrLlpp.'tlIiOn1l' S<.' ulltt'n; in toih'L ptlpt'r and 'Iebralt'<i a birthday. All gfl'<lt fun. t slop was th Toxic EnvC'llg'rs .IQ wlwre Wt' pa ked in to a living room Llnd giwl1 d('SSCrt and fun goodies while we sat anti playt'ti (lOJ t.lIkl'd. Never stopping for long we hurri('d b,\ k to P( h 'S to , ,t lip for th(' I.enith of the night, Ilw Disco P.,rty. We danced, br 'a.k-dan ed and k..1rllOk in to th I morning anti had the f( kingt'St fcstivitil'S all eVl'f. 1 don't know what happcl1C'ti next as 1 WilS mostly sub- concious. I think tl1Crc wa S()me judging in lh 'f\.' though. Math's Operation Pink played in a loco good-natured way and won a Jot of the events Ult'y competed in. fhey yen mad a thn.'C-dimcnsional T'C'prescntation of Hom r Simpsons head, it was so good .. . so good No Support Com Mcch Relief were fun and crazy and we loved their headquarters, Toxic Envengers went all oul all oyer insanely. I liked OASys and their spirited best. 1 won't soon for- get a whole row of Scunt Gods being entertained during judging by the three crazies whil they scrambled to make items for the lists, I won't soon forget Delirium Scunt either. RON ESSCO Serving 18,000 people, 365 days a year and getting no tips ESSCO Executive E SSCO. Does this acronym mean anything to you? If not, don't be worried, you're not alone. Many undergraduate engineers in Ontario do not have a clue what ESSCO is, what it is supposed to do, what it has done, and what it can do. This arti- cle is supposed to assist in getting undergraduate engineering students aware of what ESSCO is and how it can serve all of the 18,000 engineering stu- dents in Ontario. First and foremost, ESSCO represents the Engineer- ing Student Society Councils of Ontario. The 1996-97 year starting with the election of the new executive at the ESSCO Annual General Meeting at the end of August, it was declared a year of rebuilding, restructur- ing and changing schools attitudes about ESSeO. The title for this year's goal is to prove that FSSCO has a purpose. The four main goals to be achieved by the executive each year are: Facilitate centralized communication and informa- tion interchange between member engineering soci- eties. Represent the undergraduate engineering students in the province of Ontario in matters of common interest Encourage the promotion of engineering as an excit- ing, challenging, and equitable profession to elementary and high school students. Participate in, and interact with, various sectors of business, government, and academia as well as profes- sional and student organizations. ESSCO's motto is action, vision, and communication With this in mind, ESSeO has worked on lobbying the government on the issues of funding cutbacks, repre- senting the student views during meetings with the Dean's of Engineering, providing assistance and infor- mation to the planning of the Ontario Engineering Competition, maintaining conversation on the ESSCO ernaillink, and helping organize Ontario's contribution to the National Engineering Week Charity event. At the ESSCO Annual General Meeting 1996, the president of the Canadian Federation of Engineering Students (CFES) asked the ESSeO executives to help coordinate a common charity event for all Ontario engi- neering schools. This event is to take place during the National Engineering Week, March 1-8, 1997. The idea is that each engineering school will offer to help women shelters, homeless shelters, or similar facilities in their community for a day. Due to the recent tmfavourable publicity of engineering, it is of the utmost importance to increase public awareness of the engineering disci- pline. Such an event, with the assistance from the media would work towards this goal. This event would require organization from all engineering societies in order to contact the appropriate newspapers and differ- ent media sources (radio, television stations, etc .. ) mak- ing them aware of the charity day. With the influential power that comes with represent- ing 18,000 undergraduate engineers in Ontario comes . the ability to approach corporations for corporate spon- sorship. Many of these sponsorships are used to improve the efficiency of the executive as well as to improve the continuity during the executive changeover at the ESSCO Annual General Meeting. Currently, the ESSCO executive are with a few compa- nies discussing the possibility of obtaining laptops for the executive that would be used to keep track of the finances, take minutes at executive and conference meetings involving ESSeo. In addition, these laptops would assist in increasing ESSeO's professional look when visiting the different engineering universities in Ontario. A new communication link is under investigation that would work in parallel with the ESSCO email link described later. The project includes purchasing hard- ware and having London Telecom provide the phone services for one central phone number that engineering societies could call and directly talk, live one-on-one with another school anywhere in Ontario, at no cost! Another goal established/realized at the ESSCO Annual General Meeting 1996 was a committee respon- sible for determining the long term direction of ESSCO. This committee would get feedback from the engineer- ing schools either at conferences, from the ESSCO link, or by talking with different engineering society mem- bers while still focusing on the new ESSCO motto of action, vision and communication. One of the issues that this long term committee discussed at the Congress of Canadian Engineering Societies 1997 was the role of ESSeo. Was FSSCO to be a lobby group supporting and voicing the opinions of the Ontario engineering stu- dents? Or perhaps ESSCO should play an active role in pursuing government issues? Or finally, maybe ESSCO should play a very silent role in dealing with the gov- ernment such as publishing documents delivered to the government expressing the opinions of Ontario engi- neers. Issues for investigation by the long term comrnit- tee are: Tuition increases and what ESSCO is going to do about them Engineering Curriculum changes External communication with the universities Community Involvement Roles ofVP Externals More defined ESSeO Culture More PEO involvement Exchange programs to other universities/different provinces or countries High School/Elementary School Uaison Yearly activity between the universities Scholarships for Ontario Students Look for more information about the long term com- mittee in the next article from ESSC:O. Please discuss with your student body (by council, newspaper, discus- sions with a general group of the student body, or by another effective method) what they would like to see ESSCO undertake as an organization. Also, discuss with them the proposed ideas above and get opinions on taking a political or non-political stance. The ESSCO link is a simple concept. A person posts a message to the ESSCO link and all subscribers are sent an exact copy of this posted message via email. Since we live in the age of technology, all universities in Ontario have emailing capabilities. The ESSCO link, therefore, is a cost-effective means of communicating ideas, event dates, opinions, and general conversation between all engineering schools in Ontario. All people are welcome to join the FSSCO link and anybody can read the archived emails from prior months. To join, simply send an email to: To: listsent@iistserv.uottmoo.ca Subject: sub essarl name title body: sub essarl name title For example: To: li.siserv@listserv.uottawa.ca Subject: sub essco-lJason Worry VP-Finance ESSCO &x:Iy: sub essco-l Jason Worry VP-Finance ESSCO Hope to hear some new voices on the ESSCO link. In conclusion, the Engineering Student Society Coun- cils of Ontario are here to serve you and all Ontario undergraduate engineers. Regardless of how small or how big the required service is, if you don't voice your need to either your school's ESSCO rep or Vice-Presi- dent External, your voice will never be heard. Perhaps, your idea is common across Ontario and will assist thousands of other suffering engineers. ESSCO is work- ing on re-Stablishing the confidence in all the engineer- ing societies while still pursuing many new and innov- ative ideas. Plain and simple, ESSCO is here to serve engineers across Ontario. Julian Wright - President wrlght@ecf.utoronto.ca Eloise Harvey - VP-Education harveye@muss.cis.mcmaster.ca Jason Worry - VP-Finance jjjworry@novice.uwaterloo.ca Elena Shustermann - Future Executive shustee@muss.cis.mcmaster.ca ENGINEERING STUDENT SOCIETIES COUNCIL- ONT RON How To Push A Bus With A Rope (or Bus Push '97) Ed Fletcher 48 Mechanical G reetings and salutations everyone. It's com- ing close to that time of year when the Waterloo engineering students get together and pull a bus from the Waterloo campus to dov.'11- town Kitchener in support of the K-W Big Sisters. So, on March 15th it's the 21st annual Bus Push! KITCHENER-WATERLO AN2 AREA BIG SlSTERS .JL
Well, we origi- nally pushed the bus. However, the work required to keep the bus in motion only .rol:il!tlergoe&..a slight variation depen- dent upon the road grade. And the more people you get helping, the less energy per person is required. As there is only a finite area on the rear of the bus which is the prime pushing surface, an alternate way of adding people was required. Being great engineers, we found a way to rectify this situation. The ea iest way to add people to the equation was fOlmd in tying a rope to the bus for people to hold on to. We all learned in first year physics that you can't push a rope, so we pulled. However, for the sake of tradition, it has remained the Bus Push. Everyone can help this event be a tremendous suc- cess. If you want an opportunity to test your shear strength and determination, if you just like pulling on a rope or you're in training for professional tug 'a war competition just swing on by the Orifice and there's a pledge sheet waiting for you. . The major prizes this year for the top pledge getter type people include a mountain bike and a snowboard. about the Bus Push, please do not hesitate to contact m There will also be earlybird draws for people who have at aefletcl1.@meci1a.nical. Otherwise, swing on by the gotten more than $20 in pledges starting the last week , Orifice and pick up a pledge sheet and get ready for a of February. These will include gift certificates for din- fantastic day! ners in addition to other great prizes. Everyone who raises more that $75 in pledges will get a FREE bus push T-shirt. There will also be free breakfast and lunch for everyone pulling the bus on the big day. If you have any questions Excuse Me, Did I Get In The Way Of Your Elbow? Shelley Carter 38 Mech M anners. Gee, what are they? I know, but do you? Apparently a large portion of people in engineering are lacking in this department, as was made obvious to me, anyway, at an engineering event this past weekend. When you run into somebody, is it really that difficult to say "Sorry". I wouldn't have thought so, but what do I know. There isn't much to having good, or at least acceptable, marmers. Please, thank you, excuse me, and sorry are four good phrases to add to your daily vocabulary. Give it a shot. You might be surprised at how much nicer people think you are. I'm not sure, but does organizing an event entitle you to a power trip? That you don't need to be polite, cour- teous, or considerate? The prevailing attitude seemed to be Tm in charge, get out of my way you little peon. You should be happy I didn't knock you over on my way through' 'Oh thank you kind sir, may I kiss your feet for being so thoughtful? Thank you, thank you, thank you.' Yeah, whatever. It bothers me to think I live in a world where some people seem to believe that common courtesy is below them What makes one per- son better than anyone else? A title tacked onto the end of their name? I think not. We all breathe the same air and eventually die similar deaths. Yet while we are on earth, some individuals are under the misconception that they are different and the general laws of the land do not apply to them. I'm really not sure wh re this probl'm stems from, Maybe their parents didn't tach them any manners, Or maybe they just grew up and out of their manners. If you are one of these )?<.'Ople and yOllr circle of friends seems to be very small, it couJd quite possibly be that you need to develop some manners and take som courses in human relations. (Hint: Most peopJe arc more responsive to someone who is polite and crate than not.) But then again maybe you really don't care. As long as you're running the show, you're happy. In which case 1 feel very sorry for you. RON ARRIOR The California Experience Arjun Moorthy 3A computer Engineering. L ast fall I got a co-op job with Ventritex Inc. in Sunnyvale California. I was really excited - I imagined I'd be living next to a beach with women like those on Baywatch. Not quite, but nev- ertheless, it was by far the best workterm I've had and it is a Mecca for biking enthusiasts. More on that later, but first a little about the place. Sunnyvale is at the center of a long string of towns that form Silicon Valley. It is about a half hour drive south of San Francisco. Most of you have heard of Sili- eon Valley .. . home of many of the power house compa- nies in the computer industry like Sun Microsystems, IBM, Intel, Apple (well, okay maybe not anymore) and thousands of others. Silicon Valley is like no other place on earth. It is infested with engineers aU working insane hours and making unbelievable amounts of money in stock options and bonuses. It's fast-paced and not for the weak of heart, but it's where some of the brightest minds create technology that was only dreamed about months ago. Beyond that however, is the state of California itself. Absolutely gorgeous and there are a million things to see and do. Just south of Silicon Valley is Monterey and Santa Cruz. Home of the Pebble beach classic, this area is modeled like old towns in Europe and has the scenic backdrop of the Pacific ocean. Ritzy and glamorous, many Hollywood. starts choose to make this area home and hence house prices here are in the millions. The highlight of the town is arguably The University of Cali- fornia, Santa Cruz; a nice campus with even nicer look- ing people on it. Down the coast about eight hours south of the Valley is San Diego. Along with L.A, San Diego possesses some of the finest beaches. The water was warm enough for surfing even in mid November. Bloody hard sport but well worth the effort. La Jolla (pro- nounced: La Hoya) is a northern township in San Diego and is like Monterey, only richer! Old Town is a beauti- ful part of San Diego and is modeled after a Mexican town. Here you can get Margaritas at all hours of the day and dance with some very pretty Spanish women ... until there big muchachos beat the tar out of you. Oeser to home is San Francisco. One of the few cities that I would like to live in if I were to go back. The city has miles of biking trails and there is so much to see. Sausalito is a great little town on the other side of the Golden Gate bridge. There is Pier 39, a melange of restaurants and amusement rides, Alcatraz (pretty cool) and a pile of beaches, both nude and normal. Golden Gate Park stretches for about 10 km and houses the famous Japanese Gardens, a lot of pot dealers and some other stuff. The bars there, for lack of a better word, kick ass. Big, small, dance, rock, light, no lights, you name it, it's there. Most are a tad expensive, the best ones always have cover around $10 but the ones that have live bands are fantastic. Perhaps my best trip during my term was camping in Yosemite. The gigantic national park is simply beau- tiful ... second only to Banff. Located about four hours east of San Francisco, Yosemite village is the heart of the park. At four thousand feet, it is also quite cool. There are hundreds of mountains to climb and trails all over the place. Waterfalls, lakes, giant trees (I don't remem- ber the name) and yes, bears. While there we were attacked by a bear and had a bobcat run through the campsite. All adds to the flavour of the place. Silicon Valley itself has much to do. There is wind- surfing in a man-made lake right in Mountain View .... perfect for pros like me. Whatever. There are hundreds of biking trails around the area, and they're fast, furious and treacherous. I went through a pair of tires and shoes in about a month. You need a car to get to most of the trails but the ride is worth all the effort. There is also Stanford University in Palo Alto. Definite- ly aristocratic but a great campus ... much like Waterloo. Okay, maybe a bit better. My first day there, I went to the bookstore to sign up for German, and they had this party going on with music and girls dancing on the bookshelves! I don't remember what I bought and I accidentally signed up for Sociology. In general California is very expensive. It is best to live in youth hostels when traveling ... don't go to the really cheap ones however. The standard of living in Silicon Valley is atrocious, with rent for a one bedroom apartment starting at $900 - $21oo ... a month. The worst part is vacancy rates are 0.6% and so finding a place is a battle on its own. There are some people looking for roomrnates there (search the newsgroups on the Inter- net) and you should be able to share a place for $5OO/month. Having a car is almost vital as public transport is lousy ... more like freaking tour buses that take an hour to do 5 km. You can take the Caltrain (commuter train) to San Fran. for about $4 (best part is you can take your bike on it). One final point. ... in the four months I was there it rained three days. Sun, sun, and more sun, and about 20 degrees Celsius. New Machines, New Software, New Networks Paul McKone UW Engineering Computing W: ere's Elmira? A few miles from here as the crow flies, a few months from now as the fingers fly. The fingers, thank you for asking, are flying over the keyboards at Engineering Computing as we work on our latest project, code- named "Elmira," in th tradition of "Cairo," and "Chicago." Elmira is the upcoming Windows 95-based PC-net- work system which will supplement, and eventually replace, the long-lived DOS/Windows-based Watstar system. ElrrUra combines the simplicity and security that has been developed and provided by Watslar for over ten years, with the zowie-wowie utility of Win- dows 95, and its soon-to-be-released successor. Initial work has progressed to the point of applica- tions testing (and the attendant requirements of soft- ware distribution, configuration, and regulation). A test facility for general access (that's you students) should be available mid-summer, and a full roll-{)ut will follow in selected labs in September of this year. Why 95? Why not Nr? Why now? Many new releases of software will no longer run under Windows 3.11, and we need to do something to catch up. (Who said, "Finally?") We looked at Win- dows NT as an alternative for our system, but had to set it aside: its hardware requirements are greater; its secu- rity less than we'd like; and its administrative overhead more complicated than we are prepared to support. (There's a lot of you, and not very many of us.) We will keep an eye out for changes and improvements in future releases. And in other news ... Concurrent with development of Ehnira, Engineer- ing Computing has been quietly upgrading its network, subdividing areas to decrease traffic, and installing newer switches and cables to speed that traffic along. Work has been progressing on the backbone, and serv- er upgrades should be completed by the end of this term. What will you notice? You'll see an improve- ment in speed where the network was the bottleneck: in the busiest rooms, and at the busiest times. This quiet background improvement lays the groundwork for the implementation of Elmira. What's next? Although ElrrUra is a lovely town. it isn't likely to be our first choice for the official name of our new net- working arrangement. This is where we need your help. If you have an earth-shatteringly good. idea for what the new setup should be called, drop by the Engi- neering Computer User Support Centre, (E2-1308A). We're talking about offering a prize and, when you're in possession of infinite computing power, the sky's the limit For more information regarding the upcoming changes, type "HELP ELMIRA" while logged onto Watstar. Questions and comments regarding this or other computing issues may be posted to the news- group uw.watstar. RON ARRIOR If it's worth dong, it's worth overdoi ng! Mike Hermann 2A Systems- The Far SyDe A; 0ther Eng Week has come and gone and once again the Engineers have shown them- lves to be intrepid, creative, inventive, and Engenious. And silly, but that doesn't sound as glamorous. Eng Week ran over the last week of Jan- uary, and if you happened to be strolling through the foyer of CPH during midday, you would have seen some strange and amazing sights. I'll let the pictures do most of the talking for me, but I'll sum- marize what happened. On the Tuesday the 3A Ovils hosted a Banana Eating Race. What a great way to start Eng Week. Punish your eating process. Despite the crazy thought of it, teams of two a piece faced off with the bananas between them. I have never seen such a display of mouth stuffing before. And I hope I never do again. The winners should be congratulated though. Andre Brisson and Gord Anderson showed great fortitude and took first place. Also on Tuesday a Street Fighter 2 tournament took place. Since we've got the machine available in the upstairs of POETS, why not? The winner was Benny from 3A Mech. In keeping with the pub games theme, a Darts tourney was also held. Andrew Mulder (3A Ovil) and Jan Marsh (3A Chem) took the crown. On Wednesday, two more events took CPH by storm. Inside POETS a Sony Playstation tournament took place. I popped my head in to take a peak, and action on the screen was secondary to the action of competitors. Just listening and watching to them funny enough. I've never understcxxi the impulse of video game player to move the controller about just the controls themselves), and scream at the game. Enginuity took place just outside POETS and was, my opinion, the crowning event of the week. was catapult building; penny ramp building; a to build a way to drop an egg from the POETS '-_1 ____ _ without crushing it; and a Technical B.S. competition. Check out the pictures on this page for a hint of what little enginuity can do with some wcxxi, power tools, duck tape, and blotters. On Thursday the 2A Systems class hosted a paper airplane contest. The material of choice was of course the blotter, which is one of those items that you can do anything with. (Just like duct tape and 2x3's) The winners were Andrew Moffat (2A Elec) for accuracy, and Elliot Bird (2A Mech) for innovation. The 1B Enviro-01ems also ran a paper boat building contest. Brian Cepuran from Flying Grcuits (lB Camp) won for style, and Peter Parahuz from The Far SyDe (2A Systems) took the crown for sturdiest boat, holding the most penDies of any entry. Thursday night was also the Brunny, which of course meant not much hap- pened Friday. However, Friday night was big indeed, 'with the Delirium SCUNf taking UW into the depths of a crazy man's mind. Check the SCUNT article el e- where in this paper for tho e amazing happenings. So what else can I say. Eng Week. Stuff. Cool Stuff. And hey, if it's worth doing, it's worth overdoing! "Here Comes The Rain Again" July 25 - August 8 New Zealand II Bill Gray 48 Comp - Sun of a Bitl N. er a night of celebration and revelry fol- lowing the big jump, it was time to move on nd begin our journey north towards Auck- land. Our first stop was Dunedin, a university town on the east coast that is apparently modeled almost exactly like Edinburgh, Scotland. Right down to a whiskey distillery that produced something that is almost, but not quite, entirely like scotch. Although we were not able to tour the distillery, we did get a tour of the Cadbury chocolate factory. Leaving the factory, we fought off nausea and set out to find out why Dunedin was considered such a party-town. We never found out. Every bar was completely empty, with some even closed. Bizarre strategy for a Friday night. Also in Dunedin is Baldwin Street, officially recognized as "the world's steepest street", with a grade of 1 in 1.19. The bus stopped. We climbed the street. Yep, it's steep all right. We climbed back down. Leaving Dunedin we headed up the east coast towards Christchurch again. As we neared, it began to rain (of course) and our night in Christchurch was soggy and cold. We did get to see replays of Donovan Bailey's record-breaking sprint however. We were not overly sad at leaving Christchurch the next morning, and by the time we pulled into Kaikoura it was almost sunny. Kaikoura during the summer is unique in that hundreds of dolphins swim around just off shore, and don't seem to mind if tourists are swimming in the water with them. During the winter months, however, the main attraction are the giant sperm whales that hang around off-shore during their yearly migration from the Southern Ocean into the warmer South Pacific Ocean in search of food. Using high-tech sonar location techniques our boat was able to locate three of the huge mammals and we watched from a distance as they flopped around on the surface of the water for a while before taking a deep breath and diving down again for dinner. The sight of their huge tail coming up in the air and sinking slowly down into the depths was truly awe inspir- ing, and one could not help but feel slightly guilty that the whales had almost been hunt- ed to extinction not too long ago. The next day's travel involved water (other than the rain) . Very rough water. We were to take the ferry from Picton on the South Island to Wellington on the North Island, across the Cook Straight After doping myself up on sea-sick- ness pills, I sat back to enjoy the ride. The waves in the straight pitched the large ferry around like a cork, making any movement in the ferry next to impossible. A walk on deck relieved some of my nausea, but scared the hell out of me once I realized how big the waves were. We pulled into Wellington harbour three hours later, with my lunch and dinner still inside me. Wellington is New Zealand's capital and is a decent but boring city. We ran into some friends from our Australian travels and did some typical tourist type things, including getting caught in the rain, and almost being tackled by a security guard when we accidentally wandered into the Parliament House. Our journey north continued in a few days. Once more we were on tiny roads cut into the side of a very steep hill, as we made our way to the North Island's ski mecca, Taupo. The ski season was pretty much over by this point, what with the rain and all, so Taupo didn't offer much and we moved on to Rotorua the next day. Rotorua is an interesting place, due to the thickness of the earth's crust under and around the town. Or J ... I.. ... PlroIIX; iJy BI7I Gray rather, the fact that the crust is very thin in this region. The result is an incredible source of geothermal heat that is used for everything from electricity generation, to cheap hot-tubs to geothermally brewed beer (you can really taste the sulfur). The amount of heat under the city is so great that there are many steam vents installed that allow excess steam pressure to escape into the air. In addition to the hostel's hot-tub, however, Rotorua had much else to offer thanks to the geother- mal heat. For example, it doesn't rain a whole lot here. Our bus-driver explained it was due to the geothermal heat. I figured it was because the humidity was always at 99% anyway, so rain wasn't really necessary. Not that it didn't rain. It just didn't rain a whole lot. We eventually dried off and decided on the Waiotapu Thermal Wonderland as our 'tourist place' for the next day. The first stop on the geothermal tour was the Lady Knox Geyser. Although the geyser will erupt on its own every ten days or so, it can be forced to erupt on demand by pouring soap flakes down the geyser cone. The soap breaks down the surface tension of the super- heated water, causing it to spout 10m into the air for about twenty minutes. This method was stumbled upon many years ago when a band of convicts were clearing trees in the area to make way for a new high- way, as convicts are prone to do. They found a pool of hot water (the geyser) and figured it would be a great place to wash their clothes. So they stripped down, tossed in thcir clothes and then some soap. Imagine their surprise. The tour continued as we walked around the Thermal Wonderland getting rained on and viewing pools where large concentrations of ele- ments such as arsenic, antimony and manganese gave the water vivid colours. The steam escaping from underneath gave the impression of a vast bubbling cauldron. Steam rose from many pools, and was blown across the landscape, sometimes completely engulfing the walking paths. In order to get to our next destination, Waitomo, we needed to take the interCity bus, which is their equiva- lent to Greyhound. Except we had to take the "tourist express" ~ u s which tumed the 100 kilometres into a three hour ride from hell, as we stopped for every little piddly touristy thing you can imagine ("Just on the other side of that fence, over the hill and down the street is a hydro-cledric dam. We'll stop for ten min- utes so you can take pictures of the front gate."). It was probably raining too. It eventually stopped raining as we arnved in Waito- mo and wanned up in front of the fire. With several hours to kill before the main attraction. we decided to go horse-back riding. [author note - I had a spiel about the redundancy of the tenn 'horse-back' all set up, including what might be construed as 'horse-front' rid- ing, but I doubted it would fit in with the Iron Warnors image]. Although Mel had taken horse-back riding lessons as a child, I had never even touched a horse before, so I was somewhat leery of getting on some- thing that big. When asked what kind of horse I want- ed, I responded honestly: dead. I eventually got a horse by the name of Jimmy and started moving. As Mel and her horse were jumping logs and galloping up and down hills, Jimmy and I plodded along in first gear, enjoying the scenery. We climbed up muddy hills, rode across muddy fields and then descended through a muddy forest Jimmy seemed a little hesitant to get his feet wet. He didn't have any problem running me through dense branches, however. I still swear he was laughing at me. We eventually made it back to the sta- bles (being the last one back, of course) and I congratu- lated Jimmy on not killing me. But we had little time to bond as the main attraction of our stay in Waitomo was quickly approaching. The claim to fame of Waitomo, and the only reason we endured the three hour bus ride from Rotorua, are the caves. Under and around Waitomo stretch an incredible network of caves and grottos. Many of these caves have been thoroughly explored and are open for guided tours. Visit?rs can even choose the level of diffi- culty they desire. Available are a walking tour, a tour on a partially underground lake in row-boats, and the tube-adventure where you float along in inner-tubes through underground waterways, admiring the cave formations and plummeting over waterfalls. And then there's the real tours. The one we chose was called Hagga's Honking Holes. Aside from the name, we had RON it on good advice this was the coolest tour for under $200 going. So when the Honking Holes people Showed up to take us away, we were pleased. Before they would take us underground, we were all required to take a claustrophobia test, which involved squirming through an extremely small plaster 'cave' as the guides tied our shoelaces together. Funny guys. With that out of the way, they whisked us to the Hagga's property, where we stripped down to swim- suits and donned neoprene wetsuits, full coveralls and rubber gurn-boots. We were then given miner's hel- mets and a rap harness. A quick lesson on rappelling and we were of{ speeding through the darkness to the cave entrance. Near the cave entrance, that is. We first had to hike for about 10 minutes in complete darkness. Of course, it was raining. It was an interesting picture, however, with 20 people marching through the dark- ness, with only the light on their miner's helmet show- ing. I couldn't help but start humming "Hi-ho, hi-ho" as I trudged along. Too bad Disney never thought to include "Bitter Dwarf" in their cartoons. We soon arrived at the cave entrance and climbed down to the first opening. Here we had to rappel about 20m into inky darkness, as the tour guide kicked water onto us from the top of the hole. We were to do two more smaller abseils, and be lowered through a raging water- fall. At times the passage was so small I had to crawl along on my belly, holding my breath because I was up to my eyes in muddy water. The sights along the way were spectacular: stalagmites, stalactites, columns and many other fascinating formations, all formed over thousands of years. This cave system goes down a total of 2.2 km and would take an e'Wrienced spelunker over two hours to get there. We only went 65m under- ground, where we stopped for lemonade and chocolate bars before the guides said "Find your own way out." and ran off laughing. By going against the flow of water, we eventually returned to the surface and were returned to our hostel where a hot-shower was our reward for our four hours underground. The next day we could barely move due to the previ- ous day's activities, but we managed to get up and get ready to go to Auckland. We watched the start of the The Sandford Fleming Foundation 4306 Carl Pollock Hall. University of Waterloo Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3Gl Ontario Engineering Competition 1m Olympic dosing ceremonies, and were amazed at the th ught of 3.5 billion people shaking their heads in. uni- son at the stupidity of it all. We waited for the InterCity bus in the rain and made it to Auckland before supper. Auckland is a typical city. One thing of interest is that it has ports on both the Tasman Sea and the Pacific Ckean, allowing you to walk from sea to sea in about two hours. It is also called the Oty of Sails because per- capita boat-ownership is higher here than anywhere else in the world. We only had one real day to explore Auckland, so we didn't get a chance to see too much. We walked through the university and discovered that CONE/erIO N / lir ' the Engineering buildings were just as ugly as UW's. The museum displayed the three things New Zealan- ders seem the most proud about their Maori culture, the environment, and their achievements in various wars around the world. Soon, however, it was time to go to the airport and begin another chapter in the journey. I thought back on our time in New Zealand, and realized that we did not have nearly enough time to enjoy this country. We missed large parts of the North Island, and rushed through most of the South Island. I have since made it a priority to return some time in the future, and do a proper tour. However, despite the problems faced dur- ing the tour, and the fact that it rained almost every freaking day for four weeks straight, I still see New Zealand as my favourite place in the world. Waterloo ampu Activities (519) 8884008 This year, OEC will be held the weekend of February 14-16 at McMaster University. The competition highligbts Entrepreneurial and Corporate Design. ExpJanatory and Editorial Communication and Extemporaneous Debates (of which SFF is a major patron). Check out their homepage at http://www.eng.mcmaster.caloecJindex.htm. SFF on UWlNFO Now you can learn more about the activities of the Sandford Fleming Foundation on UW Info. We're under Departments ... lFaculty of Engineering. Funding for these awards comes from your student contributions and depends on it for contilWlltion. An organization devoted to the advancement of engineering education. RON ARRIOR Exchange to Ecole Poly technique Federale de Lausanne (EPFL), Switzerland Ski enthusiasts and chocolate addicts know two excel- lent reasons Jor heading to Switzerland, Then there's the brilliant jazz at Montreux, sophisticated cafE life in Zurich, booting on lAke Geneva .. , and the Alps thrown in.for a backdrop. Lonely Planet - Switzerland Travel Guide, 1994 Guy Freidel 48 Electrical TI s is a summary which could be useful to anyone considering an exchange, particularly the one to Lausanne, Switzerland, The pur- pose is to provide just enough material to whet your appetite and perhaps get you started on the process, Note that my information on the all important course equivalencies covers electrical engineering only. Students in other programs will have to do their own research, Once decided, I will be happy to assist you in covering more areas and supplying more information and advice. Programs Offered & Program Coordinators The exchange is open to students in all engineering disciplines, The EPFL Exchange Coordinator is Prof. R R (Bob) Hudgins (E1-2525A, x2092), The Worldwide Exchange Program Coordinator (also the Director of the International Studies Option) is Dr. Herb Ra tz in the Year 1 Undergrad Office. Cindy Howe works with Dr. Ratz and has a small library of exchange information (CPH 1320E). These are the first people you should see once you decide to go. They will be able to go over the important dates, application forms, required signatures and other such details, The basic requirements arc an overall 70% aver- age to date and some profid ney in French, Th term(s) normally spent abroad arc 3A and/or 38, All forms should be processed by mid-April and you should receive word from the EPFL sometime in July. Lausanne Switzerland's fifth-largest city on the north shore of Lac Leman (Lake Geneva) with about 150,OOJ inhabi- tants. It offers alpine scenery, water sports, numerous cafes and restaurants, a vibrant student life and weather that will never get to 20 degress below, It is also the cen- tre of the International Olympic Committee (t0C) and the land's highest court, the Federal Tribunal. EPFL The ecole Polytechniquc Federale Lausanne is one of two "technical" institutes in the country, the other being in Zu.rich. The university is world renowned for the quality of its professors and facilities, The campus lies on the shore of Lac Leman and neighbours the Univer- site de Lausanne (UNIL), resembling the UW-WLU relationship (and male to female ratios, naturally), You will likely find that university life in Europe is far more relaxed and easy-going than at Waterloo, School Year Sbucture The winter term begins in late October and lasts until the end of January, The summer term begins in mid- March and runs until the end of June. An exam period follows each semester, So for a full year exchange, plan on being in Switzerland from mid-October to mid-July. Residences There are several university run residences, Once accepted by the EPFL, you will be sent a residence application. Student residence are the least expensive accommodations and are a great way to meet people, especially if you're going alone. All residences have cooking facilities - that is, there are no residence run meal plans like "Village il', All residences are on or close to public transportation routes (biking may be a good idea in the summer), Costs Switzerland lives up to its reputation as the world's banking centre - it is the most expensive country in Europe, often with good reason, One Swiss f r ~ is roughly equivalent to one Canadian dollar at the going rates, Expect to spend about 1000 Sfr, per month, which will include, residence, food, small trips, outings and other daily items. Others costs such as bigger trips, textbooks and your plane fare will vary. Tuition is paid atUW. Money Arrangements The most efficient way is to open a bank account at the SBS branch on campus at the EPFL. You will get an ATM card, which will allow you to withdraw funds anywhere in Switzerland, You may also ask for an EC (European Community) A TM card that will let you make withdrawals in designated instant tellers around Europe. You will also be able to withdraw funds on your Canadian VISA account with your VISA credit card. Make sure that your account in Canada is credit- ed or you will have to pay daily interest Course Equivalencies for Electrical Engineering The list below has been compiled by several past exchange students. There may be other courses that are good. equivalents and it is possible that listed courses are no longer suitable, StilL the idea of exchange is to experience something different. In most cases, the requirement is that courses you take overseas at least strongly resemble the OW courses, After all, if you miss some portion of a OW course, you will likely get materi- al at the EPFL that UW students will not cover, Lectures & Course Selection A lecture is usually a two hour period once a week per course, follOWed by an hour of tutorial, There is c:ii&- tinction between theoretical and practical courses, Some lecture rooms are equipped with all the modem technology gadgets, from automatic sliding window shades to full multimedia presentation equipment. Get a uvret des CoUl'S from your department or from the Service Acad.Enuque, which will list all the possible courses offered each term. Each department has its own course book and often the same course will be offered by another department at a different time, This gives you enough room to maneuver and fit all your required courses in your schedule, EPFL students nor- mally take as many as 10 courses per semester, while exchange students would normally take 7 (including the non-technical courses). Note that few courses have integrated labs, You may be required to sign up for a course one semester and its lab the next semester in order to fulfill the UW lab content requirement Profs Here you will find a different style of teaching. At first it may seem that the profs would prefer to keep their distance from students but that is misleading. I had nothing but great experiences with profs, Approach faculty members politely (and they usually realize you are an exchange student) and they will be more than helpful Overall, I found the quality of lec- tures and teaching at the EPFL superior to anything I've seen before, You will understand why the EPFL is so highly regarded and why it attracts professors and hon- ouraries from around the world. Computer Access & E-mail Account Computers may be found everywhere around the EPFL and are a good indication of the university's resources, In the Mac rooms printing is free, All com- puter rooms are access card controlled - your student card bears an embedded chip, Email accounts are read- ily available from your department - see the system administrator, He will be able to tell you where to get your access card activated, Exams If you think the lectures and profs are a far cry from OW, wait and see the exams. Most of the exams are oral ana count for 100% of your final grade, The format is that you are usually given a problem and 20 minutes or so to work on it Then you present your \vork on paper or on the board and the professor asks you ques- tions about this problem, or about any other aspect of the course. In most cases, profs will be accommodating and help out students by giving hints. You must be able to show that you understand the main points of the course - be sure that the profs will quickly see whether you did some work in the course. This exam format can be stressful. However, I found that I usually did extremely well. There is nothing that motivates better to study than the idea of going up against the prof, rather than against a piece of blank paper. - Important- Students who are looking to spend only one term abroad must note that some courses run over both terms. Exams will be officially scheduled for the end of the 2nd term, covering the entire course. Hence you may have to arrange your own exam with the professor and get a signed attestation of your final grade, which you will then bring back to UW. RON Food & Entertainment It is best to disCO,rer both th EPFL and Lausanne yourself. The are numerou restaurants, pub and cafes. The food is far uperior to anything you're used to in orth America. You'll find a mixture of German. French and Italian cuisine. Tryout fondue and raclette (national Swiss dishes) on one of your trips. Th EPFL cafe..restaurants have meal plans for lunch and diM r- you may find it best to lunch on campus and then fend for yourself afterwards There's a pub on campus (Le Satellite) which offers nightly activities. Other clubs and discos are spread around town. Movies denoted VO (version originale) are in the original language with French and German subtitles. Sports & Travel These may very well be the activities giving birth to the concept of exchange. There are excellent ski resorts near Lausanne - Partes du Soleil, Verbier, Gstaacl Les Diablerets to name a few. Or you may wish to visit the classier resorts which are a little further away - Cha- ARRIOR m nix, Zermcltt, t. Moritz. For some resorts lying on borders you will need to y ur passport - imagine skiing in Ital , France and S\vitzerland all in the same day. Th very best skiing and a great way to meet people are trips organized by the EPFL/UNrL sports centre. In the off season, au can participate in a variety of leagues and sports. If y u're planning on traveling, then get the Internati nal tudent Identity Card (ISIC), a Youth Hos- tel Card and possibly a Eurail or Europass. These will get ou considerable discounts anywhere in Europe. You can then use Switzerland as your base to explore the urrounding countries and don't forget that Switzerland itself has a lot to offer! How to contact me - Guy Freidti 4B Elee Eng You can find me on campus for ttl rest of this semester: Tel: (519) 746-9807 email: gfriedeli!relectrieal Or you may contact me at home: Tel: (905) 707-Q875 email: gocompibm.net One Step Closer to Sunshine Bill Gray 4B Comp- Sun of a Bit! Brenda Bouchette 3A Elec - Bad Ohmbres W e've received a lot of inquiries from inter- ested people about the end of term trip to Cuba, and it's looking to be the party of the year! After examining the proposed timetable for exams, and comparing it to the flight timetable, we have chosen Thursday, April 24 as the departure date for the trip. This will ensure that everyone is finished exams before we leave, and will also give most people a few days to take care of their affairs (ie. moving) before we take off to party in the sun. There is a catch, however. Our travel agent (Thomas Cook) has informed us that there are only 22 seats left on that flight as of January 29. This means that we have to act FAST if we want to get a group going. Which is why we are starting a sign-up list for the trip. If you are interested in being on that list, then see either of us (Brenda or Bill) and give us your information (name, e-mail and phone number). The list will be formed on a first come first serve basis. I wish I could guarantee that everyone on the list will be able to go, but the exact number will depend on when we finalize the list and book the package. Once the list has finalized, we will then come looking for a $200 deposit. This will be given directly to the travel agent and will guarantee your place in the pack- age. Look for this to happen around the end of Febru- ary. Final prices won't be known till the package is booked. The total price tag will be at most $850, and may be less, depending on what happens with group discoW1ts, which will be distributed evenly. If you have any questions or comments, feel free to e- mail either of us (wvgray@elecom2 or bjboucheelec- trieal), or just stop us in the halls and pester us until we answer all your questions. Psst ... hey engineer, want a good deal? . Then come to Weavers s Located In the W.e.R.f. HousIng CQmptex 268 PhlHlp St. Watertoo 884 - 6606 Mo day $2 Specials Bite a BIG Burrito TUesdays S2 Specials 29cwiDp $2 Specials $1 pizza slices RON ARRIOR If a Labourer in a Plantation Cries Out and No One Is Around Do They Make a Sound? Anonymous submission TI ere once was a very large and highly renowned plantation. The plantation had many departments. One that was well known was the department of cotton ginning. The cotton ginning department was recognized across the nation and was acclaimed by such magazines as Old MacDonalds Farms. The MacDonalds' 'Encom- passing, IJluminating, Expertly Inquiring, Observa- tional' survey, commonly referred to as the E-I-E-I-O poll, had catalogued high respect for the department on several occasions. It had been noted that people here were clucking over the department, people there were doing the same. Tn fact one surveyor was quoted as saying, "[It was like] here a cluck, there a cluck, everywhere I turned - a cluck, duck." Very high praise indeed! Few people new the hardships of working on the plantation better then the cotton-ginneers themselves. Every now and then the cotton-ginneers needed to regain their sanity and would take a much needed, and arguably deserved, couple hour break One favoured escapade was skiing. Unfortunately, one day, when several cotton-ginneers were walking to the ski slopes, an elderly lady had mistaken them for a motor cycle gang. Since, in the lady's mind, they were a motor cycle gang, they must have been kidnapping and torturing several store owners whose establishments they had undoubtedly just plundered. The police were called in and had taken the surprised cotton-ginneers into custody. The fact that there were no telltale marks of a motor cycle gang (no motorcycles) had stumped the police, but not as much as the infor- mation that no stores or store owners had been touched by wrongdoing in any way, least of all by the hand of the aspiring (to be professional) cotton-ginneers. The cotton-ginneers were recognized and released; but who likes those sweaty, smelly, hardworking plantation laborers. Cotton-gmneers all are the travesty of town folk, and after all they were wearing masks and carry- ing pointed sticks (ski poles). The police thought it was only necessary that the Queen of cotton ginning be noti- fied that the cotton-ginneers had been detained for doing nothing wrong at all. The mere mention of the 'Queen' made any cotton- ginneers stomach quiver. This was in part due to the Queen's very narrow view of the plantation and its laborers. The Queen believed a plantation and laborers could be run only one way - the severe way. An exam- ple: the Queen found out that the cotton-ginneers whose cotton was used for wire insulation were spend- ing some of there own 'free' time regaining sanity by playing rrunbles. 'The insolence of those insulating cot- ton-ginneers," was the thought - then the Queen raged in delirium, "SANITY, WHO NEEDS SANITY!!!" The Queen of cotton ginning FEATURE of the MONTH had the rrunbles confiscat- ed and chose to ignore the pleas of the cotton-gin- neers. It was this way that the Queen had become almost as infamous as the plantation was famous. SAVE 10 0 / 0 off all boxed game software titles! * Enter our Draw & you could WIN up to $500 of in-store credit! * * Upon receipt of the news that the cotton-gin- neers had been detained for nothing done wrong the Queen became truly thankful for a job well done. "Wearing masks and carrying pointed sticks, what kind of skier could do such a thing!" Oh the Queen was rabid with fury, "I shall dictate what a cotton-ginneer ................. --....... looks like and confiscate * Offer applies from Feb. 10 to Feb. 14, 1997 and does not include gaming software packaged in plastic CD casing or any educational, application or reference software. * * Expires March 31 st, 1997 & requires purchase of select items to enter. Details in store. COMPU+SCAPE------ Hours: Mon. - Fri. 9am - 5pm. Student Life Centre, Lower Level. 888-4567, ext. 6187. Reading Week - Closed Feb. 17 - 18 and reopening on Wed. Feb. 19. their property!" From that point on no cotton-ginneer could wear a mask or carry the tools of their avocation or occupation There was an uproar, the Queen ignored it, the Queen had become quite good at sloughing off the cotton- ginneers. A neat trick of the Queen's was always hiding so that it was easier to ignore cotton-ginneers, not to mention the stink they raise. Some of the laborers withheld their machine upgrade funds in hopes of catching the Queen's attention. But what did the Queen care if the cotton-gi.nneers didn't improve their equipment, it only furthered the separa- tion between the different types of cotton-ginneers and made more work - which meant less fun. Besides, the Queen had to plan the disruption of next years new recruits activities, what was that week, Oh yeah "fresh week". The current bonding of the new recruits, men and women alike, had to be stopped. Men and women, "Hah," thought the Queen. Just because they are legally adults doesn't make them men and women. 'Til make their decisions for them," the Queen cackled with pleasure. Fresh week was 'too fun' anyway and bonds that are never made do not need to be broken - all the easier to keep the cotton-ginneers divided, conquered and generally unbalanced. Which brings us to the generally balanced, general cotton-ginneers. It was said that the cotton of the gener- al cotton-ginneers' was used for generally everything, but no one really knew for sure. In fact, there was dif- ferent degrees of not knowing. It was not even certain whether or not the general cotton-ginneers knew. They were certain though, certain that they did not know; they 'not knew' the most, and they knew it. They were expert in not knowing; expert in the unknown. They specialized in the W1discovered. They professed the unexplored. They were connoisseurs of the uninvesti- gated. They were quite obscure. Obscure enough to hide the fact, from the Queen, that they played Jacks with superballs. Their being so incon- spicuous was conspicuous enough to unravel the wits of the wire-wrap cotton-ginneers. These ginneers were bent and went straight to the Queen. But who could blame the wired cotton-ginneers, after-all, not so long ago they had lost their marbles at the hands of the Queen. So what could they do besides putting the Jacks and balls of the general cotton-ginneers in the Queens hands. A most uncomfortable situation. As the minutes past the Queen's heart shrank to sizes smaller then a snakes heart, smaller then a roaches heart, smaller then any dictators heart before. Smaller even than the Grinch's (before he stole Ou'istmas). It reached sizes smaller then can easily be seen - before it went speeding around the bend towards smaller then that indescribable infinitesimal (as the general cotton- ginneers could attest and would describe) - which meant that it blinked out altogether, which made any hopes for a heart attack impossible; a heart not there is hard to attack with pleas and appeals. The Queens god complex grew as that heart shrank. Interesting in itself since the word on the street is that god (or the equivalent) has a fairly large heart. A cot- ton-ginneer caught having fun looks bad for the planta- tion mused the confused Queen ... "Why can't they see it. Are they all crackpots?" And to make sure, the Queen decreed that any cotton-ginneer caught having fun would be placed directly in hell, which as it turned out was not a far cry up the river from the plantation. How does the story end, well that is left to the general cotton-ginneers. The moral of the story, though. is: A Queens job is no ftm and games. We were just playin' W en I was in school years ago, I lived in a room with three other rornrrunates. We were all talk- ing and jumping around one night after we were supposed to be sleeping. Dave the housemaster supervisor guy came in and said, ''What's goingoninhere?" We all froze and looked at the door. I thought it was a rhetorical question but my room mate Ian just smiled and answered his question. 'We were just ... uh playin'." At the time the rest of us joked about it because it was so crazy. Now that I think about it, it's pretty smart. They're quite all right word to live by sometimes. Now, whenever I don't know what to say I'm doing I try to say, 'Tm just. .. uh playin'." morning last week I was in EL 101 for a Bridg- .1 ing the Gap lecture. A short man in a striped business shirt a crumpled red tie and khaki pants stood at the front to address the crowd of people. larry Smith was talking on "Engineers as Free Agents Making your career your enterprise." So off he talked at a high speed as usual. He was talking about how your employers do not have your best interests in mind just theirs. Your professors don't either. You must have your own interests to have a unique combination of skills. Streams of rhetorical ques- tions were hurled at us with no one answering, so I decid- edlwould. " ... Do not abdicate your interests to your employer. Do not abdicate your interests to your professor. Do you real- ly want to be my clones?" "No," I yelled quickly so excited that I got a chance to answer the question. Everyone burst out laughing, I was so happy. It was all right, yeah. People bugged me about it later, but you know what? I was right. D d you ever here the story of King Midas? Most pe0- ple know the part of the story where he wishes that all he touched became gold. Just as known is how much of a bad situation this became. Following events are less popular though. King Midas being in a bad state pleaded that the gods reverse his ironic condition. Never doing something for nothing, the gods marked the king with a badge of shame. Midas' golden touch was gone but to show his foolishness he had two long hairy donkey ears. Ears of an ass, he had. Fully ernbarrased by this, as many one would, he hid ears under a large kingly crown. The crown sat on his every moment of night and day save for when he his hair cut. Only two people knew this secret then, King Midas and hairstylist or barber as they are often called. The barber being human as most are had great difficul- ty keeping this secret. Every four weeks after the Thurs- day afternoon royal appointment he ran home afraid he would burst and tell the secret to everyonc. One time he couldn't stand it an longer. He ran out to the garden. and Dug a d hole. Into the hole h yelled. "King i tida has donke ears." Dirt flew as the barber covered up the secret. I think that that's like ('mail or telephone answering madlin ,'you kn w you ne\'('! know if someone's going to dig up lOur message or just let it sit and rot. It's too bad somepeopl d n'tgardenmoreoften 1\ A'any years ago 1 read a book tin th' future. Th two 1 V!main advances they talked aboul were hyperspatiaJ tra el and long range mental communi ation. So there was this bo who as part of an arch logical expedition was b:a elling hyperspatially across the universe to tudy a site of.highly advanced but long disappeared aliens. This boy had a twin sister who was physically disabled but had the special gift of long range mental communication. You see only special people could utilize these new brain- wave telephones. These people had special mental powers and the boy's sister was on of them. He thought it interesting that she talked about him as though he had the disability by not having mental powers. The Boy (Nervin, or something) goes through many adventures as the expedition finds clues and new things about the ancient alien civilization of (let's say) the Runyas. Some notable events on his adventures is an encounter with. a rude long-range-mental-comunications operator lady who is not nice to him and rude when he finds some archeo- logical artifacts. You may now think that i stressed the part about the rude mental communicator lady too much, but it comes into play later. So as the group tracks down the home planet of the Run- yas and explores the surface they find some long range men- tal communication enhancers that anyone can use. So Nervin straps on the enhancer and mentally flies across a billion years. He meets the lady that was so rude to him but he sees her differ<.>ntIy and lxalltiful hf><'auS(' he h(,f mind clnd lIw fl'ason ,1ris how h . lil "'i. PI illt' flll'tlwr ba k to pl<1'1el (.1I'lll Iw finds ,1nd ("mhl'tll 'S his sbll'" I\'"IL,: ing t\1.1t 11(' lruly h,' i lh(' gn'<1k'" ,md Wl f"Jt'lt) black A Iso for theN'of you who art' n,'(lJing this, I (lnd Mdani(' rtI Iammond ill'\.' SllJ.X>rllug 'S for Orimt.ltion WI. 'k 1997. We will reqllire your frosh I(,<ldl'r applk,1liol1s lalt'r this month. "What do you do in th<' nwantim ?" YOll a'lk.jusl play. That's what were doing. W(,'n' just pinyin' If this writing were not here this space would be blank The Depth of Darkness Chris Trudeau 4B Comp - Sun of a Bit! A cold chill stabbed through my bon while alternating images of pitch and shearing brightness flashed rapidly before my eyes. I shuddered without feeling it - yet some- how I was aware that the invol untary spasm was a reflex reaction to something ethereal. The quick progression of images settled into a foggy haze. I blinked protectively, like instinctively flinching just before a bolt of Lightning strikes. It started far away, happy springtime children's voices carried lightly on a gentle breeze. A rush of sound inundat- ed my senses, the kind of sound you can actually see. The breeze gathered momentum until the voices became a gale force wind of tortured cries. Whirling visions of murk accompanied the deafening tumult, and it brought with it the reeking stench and decay of a thousand battle fields. I passed out. I awoke to wondrous colours dissipating into a monotonous gray. The sounds and smells were still quite evident, except it was now tolerable. Tolerable because the shock had subsided, not the sensation. In fact, it had grown worse. Worse because the over- load was accompanied by a new found realization, a new found fear, an all encompass- ingdread. The air was cold and damp, an atmosphere befitting a small cave. My eyes adjusted to the grim darkness and I peered around. I was underground. There was no discernible light source, but it was no longer absolute night The walls of an alcove were just a few paces away, yet it was hard to see exactly where they were. The sides of my enclosure shimmered, never staying still, a gelatinous quiver disturbed their solidity. I approached the intangtble limits of my new domain to investigate. I am sure the wall was there, but I never saw it. The boundary that I could see was like that of a freshly decaying body. Slithering. Shifting. Multitudes of carrion insects contesting for the succulent, life sus- taining d e ~ crawled over one another obscuring what was probably a rugged stone surface. The shudder returned. This time I felt it quite distinctly. My skin felt as if it were crawling. I backed away from the living barrier bringing my own slithering death shroud. Brushing busily at the uninvited guests, I attempted to adjust to my surroundings. A section of the alcove was darker and a barely detectable amount of heat perrnea ted from that depth. I drew closer and realized it was a passage. Wanting to avoid the detestable limits of my confine, I ventured forward, steered toward the black sensory void. I walked. Pointing into the gloom, I walked. Time did not seem to matter. I walked. Occasionally I stumbled, on what I dare not think, but mostly I walked. I swallowed, realizing a thirst suiting a desert. My throat scratched protesting the dryness. I paused momentarily almost contemplating leaning on the wall of the cavern, but a vivid flash- back countered that urge. The air had changed. Not suddenly. Only noticing it was abrupt The change from damp and cold to hot and dry had been so gradual that it was worth ignoring. I swallowed again. The pressure in my ears changed, and I heard the pop reminiscent of elevator rides in tall buildings and the exhilarating descent of an aero- plane. I walked. My thoughts ,:\,andered. I walked. I found myself reviewing my life. What had lead me to this point? Where was this point? I shrugged off the introspection and said a short prayer for this dismal dream to end shortly. I walked. A sudden dull, muted, deep thunder of a noise resounded, reverberating off the walls of my passage. The noise of a mortuary vault closing, the final sound for the dead. A redundant death knell, signifying the end. I wondered at the source of the sound, and I walked. A new scent of stagnating water occupied my thoughts. A smell which was welcome, even in its unpleasantness. It was a change, and something else to dwell on while walk- ing. A sensation of futility ravished my soul. Where was I? I walked. The smell became stronger, now a stale taste of putrefaction. My feet touched a moist ooze. A lantern lit of its own accord. I was blinded. Once my eyes recovered, I grinned. The light from the meagre lantern was barely enough to see two paces in front I had become so accustomed to the lack of light that a shaded candle would have hurt my eyes. The lantern was mounted on the end of a pole. The pole was sticking up from the muddy bank of a river. Tied to the pole was, for want of a better word that did not glamorize this craft so, a makeshift raft. The meagre vessel held my weight, and I used the pole to push along the bottom. The river was not deep, and their was no current, it could have been easily swam. I was thankful for the raft none the less. Whatever energy had allowed me to walk for so long dissipated. Pushing my weight on this raft was difficult work. The intense heat of the air combined with the thick muck on the bottom of the river made the exercise most unpleasant My anns ached. Just as I was about to stop and take a break the dim lantern light revealed the shore. I stepped off the raft onto solid ground. It dawned on me that this journey was predetermined as I watched the boat sink into the stench of the river. Without mak- ing the choice to go forward, I walked A rough hewn archway with a heavy wooden door was in the distance. As I walked toward it, it opened of its own volition Strange how something that made so much noise closing could open as if it were not even solid. I walked. It grew, a trick of perspec- tive as I shortened the distance between myself and the archway. I tried to stop. I walked. I calmly walked. This predetennined journey ended with the door. I walked. The door grew. An intense heat filled the passageway. I walked. A sense of regret was triggered by my final understanding. I wish my earlier prayer had been for something more substantial. Despair was final as I read the inscription above the door: I am the way into the doleful dty, I am the way into eternal grief, I am the way to a forsaken race. Justice it was that moved my great creator; Divine omnipotence created me, And highest wisdom joined with primal love, Before me nothing but eternal things were made, and I shall last etemally. Abandon every hope, all ye who enter here. Do you think people are curious? I really am quite serious No matter where I look Watching television or reading a book They continue what they're doing There's simply no fooling The Conclusion I find Regardless of state of mind Is that people always tend To read things to the end. Zhan Huan Zhou Darkness Emptiness The stars are vague The moon has vanished Bonny Chan 4B Mechanical No trees, no ani.mals, no sounds No Life! Desolation challenged Gaia Desolation conquered Gaia The mother is dead And so are her children 1 B Computer Engineering Flying Circuits ilR>. 1.)0 wet on. tX8 ,..., ..
IN 3,11-, e "TAAT'S " VtR'f'
""'('''''1IC6 "So CPI'-i .... y J(1"eo.asMOtJ .qq11. . - Diatribe Irrigate my soul Be aus' m heart is two (old No smoking, this tok ' Anyways, it" all a fu king jok "And would you do it dgain?" "Only as a martyr my fri nd - " To ov r om th mercy of pa in and this elf pity insan . 1 an s c the bri ks from here, Carry me to your wall. Don't think for any span, You can hurt m Jik' I can. Rancid geist is burnt cocaine, I'll die to try again. Sweet 16 RON Youth C allenge International Bruce Davison W en I first heard about Youth Challenge International (YO) I was intrigued. Here was an organization that provided indi- viduaJs with a unique opportunity to get involved in Global Development. At first I was hesitant but as r learned more, r realized that I had something to offer the world through YCI and its "Four Challenge" Approach. J decided to take on these four chal- lenges and became a "Challenger". The Four Challenges As a Challenger, you must face four challenges: Selec- tion, Preparation, the Project, and Community Action. The Selection process is a rigorous onc. If you are between the ages of 18 and 25 you can apply to become a challenger by filling out a four page application arm that includes a letter of reference from someone that you know (t9 obtain an application fonn, please contact the YO office ... the address can be found at the end of this article). A short list of challengers are then selected to participate in a "Selection Weekend" which tests the resourcefulness, commitment and compatibility of potential challengers. Generally speaking, if you are committed enough to make it to the selection weekend then you will likely be accepted for a Project. Once you have completed the Selection Weekend, you must prepare yourself for the actual project. To start, each challenger is required to receive training in Standard First Aid and Basic Saver CPR. The biggest part of this challenge, however, is to fundraise $3750 to help cover the cost of participating in the The purpose of getting the challengers to fundraise the money is threefold. First, this ensures that each chal- lenger is fully committed to the project. Second, the money raised covers 80% of the cost of the project which makes the dependency of government funding unimportant (this has the added effect of relieving the tax payers of the burden of paying for the projects). Finally, each challenger is given the opportunity to grow within themselves by learning what it really means to fundraise $3750. The third challenge is the International Field Project which consists of mediutl, environmental and construc- tion projects. Each project is ten weeks in length. Living conditions are meager and the work is demanding. Canadian volunteers live and work with challengers from other countries as well as members of the host community. One important thing to consider is that the projects are driven by local needs. Each project takes its first steps when a local community or a segment of a community identifies a need. For example, a communi- ty organization in Costa Rica may realize that its local . school needs repairing. As a result, they put together a proposal and contact YO. Before deciding to under- take a project, a Project Management Team from YCI visits the project site and determines the suitability of the proposed project. If the project is deemed to be appropriate, the community then makes the necessary preparations for the project such as purchasing materi- als. The YO group leaders then visit the community to establish a timeline and work plan, identify the resources within the community and discuss, in more detail, the expectations of everyone involved. In addi-
tion, the group leaders establish an emer- gency evacuation plan for the safety of every- one involved in the project After the group leaders have visited the site, the community prepares for the arrival of the challengers by setting the groundwork for the project and preparing appropriate accommodation. When the challengers arrive, they complete th majority of the labour alongside the pe0- ple of the community. When the work is fin- ished, the community establishes a mainte- nance plan and evaluates the success of the project. UWSTUDfNT 8USII CARDS ------- =..--_ ..... - 60 canis .Iy $10.'6 The fourth challenge is to tum personal experience into positive civic action. This is done by donating 100 hours of time to a com- munity service organization within your own community. My Personal Experiences I myself am in the process of completing the second challenge and my life has already changed dramatically. The Selection Week- end was one of the hardest things that I have ever done in my life. It was physically very demanding as well as mentally demanding. I was forced to evaluate how I worked as a part of a team and, as a group, and we were thrown into all kinds of situations that forced us to think about how we dealt with other cultures. We also realized that we were quick to make judgments about other cul- tures based on our own cultural mannerisms. Although this was difficult, I had a lot of fun and made a lot of friends that I still keep up with today. The preparation is probably the most diffirult part of the project as it requires a great deal of detennination and perseverance. Even if I was never to go to Costa Rica, the lessons that I have learned in the past few months will prove to be invaluable. First and foremost I have learned that people are willing to help you achieve your dreams if you give them the opportunity. The support that I have received from all kinds of people has been very uplifting. My family and friends have rallied around me when 1 have needed their support and I have received incredible support from people that I hardly knew. It somehow seemed to be enough that I was following a dream. In the past six months 1 have faced many challenges. One of the biggest challenges that I had was the loss of , $300 through the organization of an event. This was a devastating blow to my fundraising efforts because not only had 1 lost money, I had lost one month of fundrais- ing time. Nevertheless, I have continued with my efforts and never gave up hope. Even in losing $300, I have gained through the experiences that I would have otherwise missed. In addition to the challenge of fundraising, I began to learn.5panish which is the native language of Costa Rica. Through this language I have learned about a whole new world of which I was previ- ously unaware. I have faced a number of challenges but I still have many challenges ahead of me. One of the requirements is that I must be able to swim 500 metres unaided. For as long as I can remember I have hated swimming and fear still grips my soul when I get in the water. When I was a child, I took swimrrUng lessons like most of the other kids but I was a terrible swimmer. I kept at it because 1 wanted to succeed but eventually my humili- ation became so great that J decided to quit. I was get- ting older and the kids that I started with were already many badges ahead of me. When you're eleven years old, it really sucks when all of the eight year oids in your class are better swimmers than you. Well now I need that skill and I don't have it. ll1anks to Youth Challenge International I am facing a childhood fear that I should have faced a decade ago and I have started taking swimming lessons again (and this time, I'm going to succeed). I have gained a lot from my experiences with YCI and I hope that I am able to use what I have learned for the greater good of society both on the ten week project and afterwards. If anyone has any questions about YO, I would be more than happy to answer. If you are inter- ested in helping me to achieve this dream of helping the people of Costa Rica, my next fundraising event is on Saturday, February 22 I have organized a 5 km walk- athon around ring road and through Waterloo Park My goal is to have 40 people walking with me on the route. The first 40 people to raise $50 get a free T shirt and you can get a pledge fonn by contacting me at the phone number or email address below. For more information or an application form, you can get in touch with Youth Challenge International in a number of ways: Address: 11 5oho Street - Toronto, Ontario, M5f 1Z6 Telephone: (416)971-9846 or Fax: (416)971-6863 Email: info@yci.org RON The Calling of an Engineer Steve till Off Stream 4A Elec - Assault&Battery reprillJeti from Winh!r 1996 Iron Warrior n as perusing a past issue of the IEEE Power Engineering Review (don't ask me why, I guess I ad way too much free time on my hands) when I came across an article by the new IEEE prez., Wal- lace S. Read. You see, unlike most of the people who work for the IEEE, he is a Canadian. In fact he is a Newfoundlander and he received his BE from Nova Scotia Technical College (now TUNS). I found his words concerning our chosen profession to be inspiring and they helped to pass along to me a little of the history of the engineering profession. I hope his words will add a little inspiration into your life as well, especially with the IRe so close by. '1 consider our profession one of the oldest and great- est professions. We are in the business of engineering. I like to refer to it as the business of creating and building. It is a very privileged role to play in our society. 0 other profession aspires to so great a task. Important as the work of other professionals is, they are not the ones designated to build; only engineers are. The medical profession has a maintenance function. it is responsible for our minds and bodies as long as we inhabit this planet; the legal profession is a service and operates mainly as a consequence of our weaknesses and n tour strengths; the accounting profession is also a service as an aid to the orderly reckoning of our activities; the priesthood is dedicated to the maintenance of our spiri- tual needs; and I could go on and on. Don't get me wrong, all of these professions are important, all of them are needed, but they are maintenance and service functions. You, the engineers, are the ones that will be creating and building new facilities and devices for people's enjoyment and comfort. This exclusive profession of ours has numbered many great men and women in its ranks. As an engineer you must accept the building challenge with the same zeal that Irnhotep had in 2700 Be when h constructed th tep pyramid of Zoser, the forerunner of th great pyramids along th Nil. You mu t accept it 'with th feeling that General Meng Tien xperienced in 215 Be, when h was ordered by his emperor to build the Great Wall of China; and with the exultation of Hiram when he was appointed Master Builder of King Solomon' tempi in Jerusalem. You stand side b sid with Michelangelo, the designer of St Peters in Rom ; al ng ide Leonardo da Vinci, who before h became famous as an artist and sculptor, was a great 15th century military engineer; side by side with Lin t and Mongel, who designed the Suez Canal for De Lesseps, and the hundreds of thousands who have fol- lowed in their footsteps. The calling of an engineer is a noble one and I hope you will speak out in public on its behalf every chance you get." Wallace S. Read It's Not About Food Heather Calder Student Issues Resource Centre Coordinator Wa y should you read this article? It's an article about eating disorders, since this is th end of1!ating Disorders Awareness Week, after all . Well, I'll tell you why. Eating disorders are not fun things, and they are not pleasant to read about or think about. But it really is time that we started talking about them. Eating disor- ders are no longer an isolated problem; they are starting to become almost epidemic. And you may be wonder- ing why I would write this article in a newspaper tar- geted at engineering students, the majority of which are male. Don't eating disorders affect mostly women, you are likely thinking. Nope. When you applied to UW to enter into civil, mechani- cal, chemical, computer, electrical, systems desigr\ ge0- logical, or environmental engineering, you knew that there was a good reason to be part of this institution. Because, as Dean Burns likes to tell all of you, you are the best If you are anything like some of the engineer- ing students I know (Mario excluded, of course), you work hard to stay in the number one place. So you can probably relate to the pressure to be the best. Sometimes this pressure comes from your parents or family and friends, and sometimes it can be a little too difficult to take. You want to be the best, and that means you want to be without failure or flaws. You want to be perfect. How does perfection apply to eating disorders? As many of us are aware (even if we don't practice this knowledge), perfection is almost impossible to achieve. And if we keep getting the same grades, having the same friends, achieving in almost every way at the same level, we can only control certain things - specifi- cally, what and how much we eat, and whether we allow it to remain in our stomachs. Or maybe we have spent our lives in loneliness, or in depression, or unable to cope with our parents' divorce, or being sexually abused, or have always felt as though we weren't worth anything, or were never allowed to express our emotions as young people, or had parents who were controlling or abusive. These kinds of experi- ences and emotions can be difficult to handle. Some- times it is tempting to try to forget about them, or to numb the pain somehow. Bulimics will tell you that when they binge, it is like they are filling up an empty p1ace inside. When they purge, the pain and ugly parts of them disappear with the food. Anorex:i 1X'Com obsessed with thinking about counting calori and staying thin that they don't have tim to think about anything else. Their problems take a back scat to their eating disorder. Are these ways of dealing with problems weakness- es? That might be the first thing that com to your mind - but it's not fair. Each of us has different ways of dealing with things that bother us; some of us drink or use drugs to forget or to relax; some of us use exercise; some of us call a friend and talk about i.t; some of us go to movies. These are all ways of coping with stresses. It's just that some of them cause a lot less harm than punishing our bodies by not eating or by purging. Both men and women use eating disorders as coping mecha- nisms. And maybe the worst part is the shame that comes with having an eating disorder. Why would you want to talk about it if everyone is going to think you are weird, or weak, or making a big deal out of noth- ing? So why do we need to start talking about eating dis- orders? In my mind it's because we almost invariably know someone who has an eating disorder. And if you don't think that's true, think about the number of pe0- ple (mostly women) you know who are dieting or who protest about eating another slice of pizza. Think about the models that you like to look at, or want to look like. Kate Moss has a Body Mass Index of 16 - and normal is between 21-25. When you see her in a magazine she is usually surrounded by (good-looking) men. Other models appear in magazines in nice cars, or in power- suits (so obviously they have successful and powerful jobs), or 1aughing gaily while sitting in a man's lap. Okay, I may sound bitter about that point, but you and I have every right to be angry. I can never, no mat- ter how attractive I am, look like that model And the women that you find attractive in celluloid fonn will never appear before you in real life. Many of them have bel'l1 so airbrusll I cmd. s 'tdl( I c\l1J digitllly m..lnipu- tatoo th t til 'y don't c en I 'SCmbll' tilt' 'J"'l,llll who posed for th' picture . Ml'n Il.'nd to worry, bout rom paring thctru' 'Iv '5 to th :. m'din imag's Il'SS (lftl'n than do women. But mL>n an h lip fix that probk'l11 by refusing to be attracted to anything thatllin't real, mal \ or female. We can all stop supporting th !SC industri ~ If I am already trying to c pc with som tr<\uma in my life, can you imagine how difficult it would be to look at those pictures? Don't yOll think that on some I vel, 1 would leam that if only J was thin CI10ugh or had enough muscle, I uJd be happy? That my prob- lems would go away? I don't know if the answer to this question is SO obvious. Because, as comy as it may sound, all we all really want to be is happy, no matter what it takes. If you or a friend needs help with an eating disord r, you can consult these resources for hlp: http://www.something-fishy.com http://icewall.vianet.on.ca/ pages/ colleen expert@feds (for confidential infonnation and assis- tance) National Eating Disorders Information Centre 416- 340-4156. Student Issues Resource Centre at ext 6331. RON OR The Celestine Prophecy - A Slightly Objective Review or Life Is Not A Multiple Choice Quiz Bill Gray 4B Comp ~ Sun of a Bit! l1 e Celestine Prophecy, by James Redfield, was first published in March ]994, and became one of the hottest selling books in America seem- ingly overnight. Several hundred thousand books were sold within the first few months, and it's almost impossible to find a group of people where no one has heard of the book. I first heard about the book while traveling through Australia, as my British traveling companions were completely caught up in the hype. r eventually received a copy of the book as a Christ- mas present after returning to Canada. The $24 book is about 250 pages long, with largish text. The book expresses the vision of its author about the Earth slowly moving towards a completely spiritual culture, through the guise of an adventure story set in the rainforests of Peru. The storyline has an ancient manuscript being discovered which details nine insights into life which all humans are predicted to grasp sequentially en route to our spiritual transformation. The Peruvian govern- ment, pressured by the church, is trying to suppress the document as people from around the world try to find out about the manuscript. The story is decently written, and could gain some merit as an adventure story alone. The insights themselves, however, are worth looking at in their own right. The book presents these concepts in a much more cohesive and interrelated maJUler, so if any of this interests you, ] recommend reading the book to get a better feel for what the author is trying to say. I intend to examine each insight and try to see how it can be easily interpreted into the standard view of life. I'm not saying that these are correct interpretations, and please don't blame me if you adapt the insights into your life and get all messed up. If you have any con- structive comments or questions, feel free to stop me in thehaU. Let's deal with each insight individually: 1) Life presents a number of occurrences usually clas- sified as 'coincidences'. We must be aware of these mysterious occurrences, and understand that some other process is operating to cause them 2) We have been preoccupied for a long time with working to establish a more comfortable style of sur- vival, while forgetting that we still don't know what we're surviving for. We must observe culture from the perspective of a whole millennium, and begin to recon- sider why we really are on earth. 3) We will realize the universe is comprised of one dynamic energy, that can sustain us and respond to our expectations. We will also see that we have been disconnected from the larger source of this energy, and thus feel weak and insecure and lacking. This energy can also be projected onto other things. These insi ghts really just set the stage for the other insights. For this discussion I am not viewing these insights as factual information, but rather as a representation of human interaction with reality. This dynamic energy can be representational of any one of a number of human attributes, from self-esteem to confidence. If we accept that a high- energy state is advanta- geous to us, we can view the rest of the insights in terms of 'energy' and If you're always on the go take us with you. apply it to reality in any way we see fit. The pro- jection of energy comes A pager from Bell Mobility is the easy and affordable way to stay in the loop. Bell Mobility through the 'true appre- ciation' of the object, which isn't too far fetched, as knowing you are being actively appre- dated leads to a general feeling of well-being in most cases. The book goes on to explain how to view these energy fields, only because that allows following insights to be 'grasped' by the book's character more quickly. 4) The only way to replenish our energy now is to steal it from someone else. This is accomplished through human conflict, where the dominating force steals the weaker person's energy. This would explain quite a bit about human interac- tion. Whenever we deal with another person with whom we are not sharing energy freely (i.e. someone we care about) there is the nahrral tendency to domi- nate. The winner of an heated debate will arguably feel better (i.e. more energy) than the loser, who will feel drained and dejected (i.e. less energy). I find the con- cept of actively seeking out conflict somewhat question- able, but admit that many people do engage in this activity. Of course, we could argue that those of us who don't do so have 'grasped' this concept and are work- ing towards the sixth insight. 5) A new understanding of mystical consciousness will appear, allowing us to receive energy from nature instead of from human conflict. Eventually, we will learn to tap this energy source at will. Without a doubt, not all people in this world main- tain their energy through conflict. If a person can keep their energy up on their ~ a g<XXI representation is that they are gaining this energy from some larger sup- ply. Nature could be an analogy for volunteer work, academic success, career success, hobbies, or anything else that brings us a sense of well-being. Most people will agree that if everyone stopped gaining energy through conflict and gained it instead from some renewable source life would generally be a better place. 6) Each of us operates according to a 'control drama', developed during childhood. We must reinterpret our family experiences from a spiritual point of view and discover who we really are. I found this to be one of the more interesting chapters of the book. The author lists four basic control-drama types: interrogator, aloof, intimidator and poor me. Consider a random sampling of friends and see how many of them fit into a specific, or a union of two of these types. Notice also how the interrogator/aloof and intimidator/poor me dramas form complementary pairs. According to the author, one creates the other during childh<XXI (i.e. a parent interrogator creates a child aloof). The validity of the parental determination of these control drama's is open to debate, but if you do find yourself trapped in one of these dramas, that real- ization is an important one, and the first step in reorga- nizing the way you respond to others. Once you are thin.king out your actions rather than acting out a drama, you can start to examine what your life really means and where you are heading. The 'life questions' we must determine for ourselves are really just the goals and directions we set for ourselves. The insight goes on to mention that another person's control drama can be disabled by not taking up the complementary drama, which is our intuitive reaction With the control drama disabled, we can then deal with the person directly. 7) We muSt question how thoughts, dreams and daydreams apply to our life questions. We must also halt fear images as soon as they come, and will one ,vith a good outcome. No idea how to argue this one. Either you believe that dreams are meaningful or not. If you can find answers in your day-dreams, then they are helping you. If you can't, then they aren't. Replacing bad images with good ones is a useful technique in maintaining confidence levels, however. 8 - a) Energy comes in both male and female fonns. We must learn to gain our opposite-sex energy from nature before gaining it from another person in order to prevent energy struggles. The crux of the insight details the necessity of draw- ing this opposite-sex energy from nature before we start to draw it from another person. If it comes solely from another person, we cut ourselves off from the natural energy. The relationship is now a dosed system, with finite energy and it is inevitable that a confIjct will arise as each party tries to maintain the elevated level of opposite-sex energy. The result is an energy addiction, RON causing irrational behavior and ultimately spelling the end of the relationship. I w n't nm\ent on this insight much, but rather leaye it as an exerci..<;e for th reader to view past (and eyen current) relation5hips in this light and see hO\ .. , well the insight fits real life. Th advan- tage to be gained from this knowledge is the early detection and prevention of the nergy addiction (or whate,'er real-world fonn it ,,,rill take on). 8 - b) Whenever people cross paths, there is alwa 'S a message for us. We can help the other reyeal this message by freely projecting our energy into them. As in the fourth insight, the projccti n of energy can easily be accepted or rejected. With I' gards to the important messages available from everyone I meet, 1 just can't believe there are that many messag that are important to me out there. 9) Once we grasp all these concepts, the world will be a hunky-dory place to live in. The author gets really out of hand here as he tries to finish up the book I won't ruin the ending, but it does offer a suggestion for the disappearance of the Mayan civilization. Well, there are the nine insights of The Celestine Prophecy. Whi! I in no way believe that the world actuall' perates in the manner described, I do find this information a u:;efl.ll starting point in reevaluating how th world actually does operate. If taken as a represen- tation of human non, the energy-con ept is a great tarting place to :xamine your interpersonal rela- ti os, and even your lit> direction. Without a doubt, some things in lifi make us feel good, and some things make us k 1 bad. We all lose ight sometim of our ultimate life g()als, and find ourselves acting in trange in "plimble ways, Sum coincidences seem too ppor- 11m to be mere chance, ret how can the this concept of pseudo-predestin ' fit with ow' current view of reality, especially with pervasive causality ingrained into us by our Enginl'Cring education? Don't skim the article, mutter 'bullshit' and flip the page. Consider how these insights can be interpreted into your view of the world. Go to POETS. Have a SO. Pond r wh OV is the mystery beer. Be aware of coin- cidences and chance meetings a you go about your weekend routine. Look for messages from people you meet. Try to gain energy from the world around you, and then share it freely with your friends. FASS, You Say? What's That? Amy Green FASS Participant and Mathie T: irty-five long years ago a rather enjoyable tradition started. No, it wasn't tool worship, it was FASS. Now, J'm sure you can all make up some pretty interesting descriptions of what FASS stands for, but the real version is Faculty, Alumni, Staff and Students. So what you say, that doesn't tell me a heck of a lot. Well, it means that every year, the above mentioned types get together and write, pro- duce, act, direct, sing, and dance in a comedy type play that parodies anything and everything we can get our hands on. For example, this year's theme is 1001 Arthurian Knights. So take everything you know about the mediaeval times of our planet, throw them together with jokes about life on campus as well as every- thing and everyone that affects that life, and you've got FASS. The point of me The FASS Details: When : Feb 6 @ 8pm, 7 @ 7 and lOpm, 8@8pm Where : Humanities Theatre How much : $8 per person, $6 for certain size groups. TIckets can be obtained from the box office in. telling you aU this garbage? To get you to come to our marvelous show, of course! Now I realize you will be reading this after the show opens, but you should still have 3 choices of shows to go to. Hagey Hall, which is just outside the theatre. Remember $3.99/ dozen Wednesdays 589 Fairway Road S 150 University Ave Kitchener 893-0855 Waterloo 888-0515 RON ARRIOR Tight Little Butt Chris Trudeau 4B Comp - Sun of a Bit! K: . d of sounds like a strange idea for a col- umn, doesn't it? Tight little butt. But we ust not underestimate just how important tight little butt is. In fact I am currently developing a theory that involves the karmic consideration of tight little butt and its effect on 1) male/ female interaction 2) Watergate 3) The Ointon Administration " If It) '" 4) War in the Middle East 5) World Peace Ok, so I am making the last four up, but (butt?) would you keep reading if the article were nothing but trite observations? Of course you would, you want to know more about tight little butt! 'Now, please don't misunderstand me. Simply because I am male does not mean that this column is sexist. Tight little butt is not a one way thing. Women like men with tight little butts just as much as men like women with tight little butts. And hey, this is the nineties, men can like men with tight little butt, and women can like women with tight little butt. So you sec, tight little butt is definitely a uni- versal commonality. An issue where we all have a sim- ilar opinion, a point of agreement that the world can see .. . ok maybe there is something to the fact that World Peace is centred. around tight little butt. Why is tight little butt so important? Well, a tight lit- tle butt is essential, not so much because of the way it is, but because of the way it isn't. You see, the alternative to tight little butt, is fat sloppy ass. Few people like fat sloppy ass. Granted there are some of you who are out there, and there arc also varying degrees of what is con- sidered. tight little butt, but none-the-less tight little butt makes the world go round. This leads us, as engineers, to want to measure tight little butt. There are several theories on this. First, do not ~ just any random passer-byer and ask to measure their tight little butt. In most cases this will get you slapped (if you are male) or proposed to (if you are female). Second, definitely do not attempt to measure a tight little butt without permission ... this relates back to the point about the Ointon Administration. Finally we need a decent method. of determining tight little butt measurements. The boring, obvious, and direct method. would be strict measurement There is more than just size involved in tight little butt, there is also the consideration of shape. After much research (years, upon years of observing tight little butt, it was hard work but worth it) I have determined that tight little butt should. be measured on a logarithmic scale. Much like the Richter scale, the higher the better, by powers of ten. Our scale needs a more fitting name though. liB scale is a little too obvious, how about the Beavis scale? Nobody seems to know more about Butt than Beavis, or maybe this is a too nineties centred concept. Some- thing more appealing to the masses might be appropri- ate. How about the Uranus scale of liB. I like it Now on to the karmic interaction of human relation- ships, and of course tight little butt. I have noticed that the amount of tight little butt which is near by an indi- vidual is often directly correlated to the tightness of that same individuals little butt. In layman terms this means if you have tight little butt, then you get tight little butt. Of course this also applies in the converse: fat sloppy ass often attracts fat sloppy ass. I am starting to think that tight little butt is one of the indivisible particles of the universe. So the list now goes: muons, leptons, and tight little butt. While on the subject of universes I have the opportu- nity to explain the universal theory of tight little butt. Tight little butt accounts for a large portion of the known and unknown universe. What do you think a black hole is? Simply put a tight little butt that got so tight and little it collapsed upon itself creating a quan- tum disturbance in the space-time continuum, leaving a pit of gravity. For those of you who demand measured accuracy, the black hole would be an infinity on the Uranus scale of TLB. Likewise, scientists have been looking for dark matter for many years now, but to no avail. This is of course because they are looking in the wrong places. Yes ladies and gentlemen, tight little butt IS dark matter! Now to bring you down, but it must also be pointed out that tight little butt can be a bad thing. TLBA (tight little butts anonymous) is working hard to cure people of tight little butt addiction There of course is also the difficulties that certain "religious" leaders have with young tight little butt. We must know when to cross the line. I mean where to draw the line. Tight little butt directly influences almost every single one of you, and your everyday lives. Not having enough tight little butt around you tends to put you in a foul mood and you do cruel things. Tight little butt in aboo.da:nce puts you in a good mood, and you spread cheer. Richard Nixon never had enough tight little butt around him, and the result was Watergate. likewise, tight little butt is not very visible in the Middle East, and peace there is difficult. Tight little butt is important. Please keep these simple concepts of tight little butt in mind. Try to work on your own butt, the tighter the better. Spread tight little butt as much as you can ... maybe I should rephrase that In case you were curi- ous, I recently bought stock in "Buru; of Steel". Be happy, you have read all the way through an article from a fourth year E&CE student and. it had nothing to do with a pool table! Well, ok maybe it did, tight little butt effects everything. Now remember: When the moon hangs low, crack a smile! Great, I'm lost! Dylan Luhowy 2A Enviro Civ - Toxic Envengers a;, . d you ever have one of those days that m pointless? I spent most of today wan- dering around campus, not exactly sure what I was doing. Occasionally, I would run into someone I know and they'd ask me what I was doing. "Ub, nothing," I would reply. They'd look at me funny and say, "Oh. Well, talk to you later, I guess." I'd then continue walking, even though I wasn't going anywhere. This kind of thing happens to me a lot at the beginning of a term, before I become reacquainted with my surroundings, and before there are lots of assignments to do and midterms to write. I should be heading into 3A by now, but I'm in 2A. Why? Well, I took a year of my life to try to extinguish some of my wanderlust. I packed my bags, and bought a bus ticket to Thunder Bay. It seemed like a good, pointless place to go. In my experience, places that sound unremarkable often contain unique and unspoiled treasures. Thunder Bay is one of the exceptions to this rule. It was cold, boring, and expensive. You want $550 per month for a musty, main floor bachelor apartment? I don't think so. But that's not the point I made an equally impulsive decision to go to Winnipeg. I thought the job prospects would be better, since it's a moderately large city. They were. Besides landing a dead-end job as a furniture assembler, I met the woman of my dreams. Fortunate- ly, I was also the man of her dreams. Go figure. r never would've thought to go 2,(XX) kilometres to meet a girl; I like to think I'm not that desperate (all right, I was). But if I hadn't been wandering, I never would have met her. l3eing lost can be the best thing that ever happened to you. My parents met at a bus stop. My dad was late for class because he slept in, or he got his afro caught in a ceiling fan, I can't remember. My mom was late because she was late for everything. They had each spent the night at a mend's, so it was not their usual bus stop. If they hadn't been late, I wouldn't be here today. Think of how rough that would be for you? I call this the "late is great" theory, as a corollary of the "lost is great" theory, which doesn't rhyme. You can't be lost your whole life, though. You have to have some sort of direction. even if it's a vague one. Some people plan out their lives to the minutest detail, which is dull and takes up time you could actually use to do something. But many more are lost most of the time, so they need to be looked after. I met quite a few at that furniture plant in Winnipeg. But don't be afraid to be consumed by your natural instinct to explore, at least once in a while. It can tum a dull life into some- thing you never could have imagined.
oc Ne ws Bett know too 0 pres",spew that she can help spread the word. Also, if ou make a poster and say "more info in the Orifice",
we're five weeks into the tenn and we're all
till alive. That's a good thing. Lots of stuff is appening, so pay attention. Let's start with Frosh Week. The SuperHuges and HeadCom have been selected!! Congratulations to Ryan Chen- Wing and Melanie Hammond, the two Super- Huges, and to Andre Brisson, our HeadCom! I know that these three along with all the Huges, EdCom, and Big Brothers and Sisters will do an excellent job putting on a great Frosh Week for the Oass of 2002. That's really scary - 2002 sounds so far away! Anyway, speaking of Huges, EdCom and Big Brothers and Sisters, applications for these posi- tions will be available in late February and will be due in early March. Pay attention if you're interest- ed in participating. Frosh Week is a great time for both the frosh and the leaders, so I would highly recommend getting involved! If you have any questions or comments or opinions about frosh week, e-mail Ryan, Melanie or Andre, or e-mail me (eng..prez@novice) and I will forward it onfor you. If you've been. by the Orifice in the last couple of weeks, then maybe you've noticed a sign indicating our hours on it Just to be clear, the Orifice is open for business from 8:00 am to 3:30 pm Monday through Fri-
out". That's why we have P.O.E.T 5. The Orifice is an office and not a social gathering spot. Please remember this the next time you find yourself in the Orifice with nothing to do but chat. After 3:30, the Orifice is not open for business. Therefore, please do not find your- self there. If you need to use the Orifice for Engineering Society purposes (i.e. for your directorship, or some- thing for your class, etc.) then that can be done AFfER 4:00. Between 3:30 and 4:00 NO ONE except Exec are to be in the Orifice. This is so that we can do some "end-of-the-day" things that we need quiet for. If you need to use the Orifice outside of business hours for Engineering Society business, you can arrange to bor- row a key for an evening or a weekend and use it then. Please do not come by the Orifice banging on the door at 4:15 in the evening because you forgot to photocopy an assignment due at 4:30. Remember that your forget- fulness or procrastination does not constitute an emer- gency on our part. So now think if you've put an announcement of some kind in the Oass mailboxes lately? Have you? Well if you have, then you've probably forgot one more mailbox - Betty's. Lot's of people call up when we're not around asking about events and other Eng- Soc stuff, and if you don't provide Betty with the infor- mation about your event or then she can't answer anyone else's questions. So next time you want to infonn everyone about something, make sure then make sure that there is more info in the Orifice. It isn't very helpful for someone to come to the Orifice asking about something and no one knowing the answers. Remember, better communication will lead to better participation! Last week, the four of us a a son, Kim, Fabes and myself) went up and had a lovely visit with the Dean, Dr. Burns. In our discussion Dr. Bums made light of a very serious issue of which I need your help with. The Ontario Govemrnent is about to (or maybe already has - this was written on Feb 1st) announce how much money Universities are going to get to go towards stu- dent tuition. With this announce- ment, the University of Waterloo, among other schools, are once again considering the possibility of differential tuition fees. (You may remember this came up about a year ago.) Differential tuition fees are basically making students in different programs pay different amounts for their education. There are several rea- sons behind this, but two come to mind. One reason is that differ- ent programs cost different amounts of money to run. For instance, a medical program costs far more than a computer science program to run. The other main reason is that, using the above example, medical students should pay more for tuition than computer science students since, on average, doctors make more money than computer scientists. The rea- son this is of great concern is because on this campus, on average Engineers make more money coming out of school than other p.rograms, with the possibl excep- tion of Optometry. Therefore, if the idea of differential tuition fees gets approved, Engineering tuition would be higher than, for example, Arts tuition. This is based on several facts, one of which would be that an Engi- neer on average is likely to make more money right after graduation than an Arts student. Another reason would be that the Engineering program costs more money to run than the Arts program. There is a fair amount of controversy over this issue on campus, and I want to know what you think about it. There's going to be an open forum held sometime in the near future (next week or two) to discuss the issue. Dean Bums presented at this past Council Meeting, and I would like to make sure that when Dean Burns goes and dis- cusses the issue with other Deans and the Vice-Presi- dents and President of the University, that he goes equipped with the knowledge of how the Engineering students in general feel about the issue. Please keep your eyes on the 100kout for announcements about the forum and come to it. It is important that you have our say, since this is your tuiti n that would be affect- ed. While on the topic of having your say, there is an upcoming referendum being held with regards to Fed. Hall. Basically there are three opti ns here. The first is to leave things as th y are. This would mean that we would all still pay our $7.50 a term for Fed Hall and it would stay the same. Th second option is to add a $5.00 fee to the Fall 97, Winter 98 and Spring 98 terms ONLY to improve the place. Thi means that AT MOST you would ha e to pay an extra $15 if you hap- pen to be here all three terms. Most students will nly pay an extra $10. If this option is taken, roughly $15O,cm will be generated and all put into renovating and upgrading the place, som thing that hasn't been done since th bar opened in the mid 1980s. The third option is to just shut the place down. ntis would mean that student will no longer be allowed to use the place - the University would take it over. r would like to make the point here that SHUT- TING FED HAL L OOWNWILL NOT STOP THE $7.50 P/r1IObyAJexMaImI FEE ON YOUR FEE STATEMENT. The $7.50 is NOT a user fee - it is used to payoff the mortgage signed in 1983. Regardless of the outcome of the referendtl.Il\ every student will continue to pay $7.50 a term until roughly 2005. So why would you want to pay for a bar you can't even use? In the fiS("oll y \ir 19% 1m, Fe I H,111 i. lTh'lking PR! PIT f,)r the Ci, t time sinCt' 92-93, so WIlY SHUT IT OOWN? When YOll ol\..' on Fl.+> 11 clOd 12, pi ., an informed vote. If you hav an OSAP loan, then th 'n.,'S.l grc.lt nt'W way for you to get info about your loan. OSAP }'\ilS en atcd a 900 number and a w?b page so ltklt YOlI can g'l instant, up-ro-th minutl.' infonnalion aix)ut your IO<ln. To gel info, YOll can call1-900-565-0SAP, or surf to http://0&1p.gov.on.ca. lhis is great n 'ws for anyone who knows the lineups at Nc xilcs Hall when forms come in, 'That's about all for now. If you n!Cd to ask me any questions about th above, or just about life in general, don't forget you can alway c-mail me at eng.J>rez@novice. It's about the onJy guaranteed way of getting a hold of m these day . Nonetheless, keep on active and remember to pay attention - things are changing.
H ello Boys and Girls. It's the second JW issue and I need to write a spew. As exec you tend to forget about these things until the last minute. Oops! So now I have to figure out what T should be telling you. There is actually a lot going on right now. In fact, there are currently five people from Waterloo at a conference. This would b the ESS- COlympics. They are there representing Waterloo to the rest of Ontario. J didn't go this time because I have way too much school work to do. However, when they get back they will be putting together articles for the IW. Look forward to reading them soon. What else Cc;'1n 1 tell. Ah, Bridging the Gap. The first Bridging the Gap lecture series was held on January 28th in EL 101. The lecture was supposed to take place in EL 112 but after about 2 minutes it was.qetermined that the room was way too smalL Thanks to the Fourth year Electrical class for giving up their prof hour to let us use EL 101. Professor Smith discussed the future of engineering careers. It was a very motivating speech, and a good time was had by aD. The next lecture is scheduled for Tuesday February 4th in EL 112. The speaker will be Professor Paul Beam. Prof. Beam is from the English department and will be discussing the Iron Ring Ceremony. Come out and Have fun. Coffee and Donuts will be served. Now I thought I'd give you a quick run down of the Organiza tions which I deal with. There are several. They include the Canadian Fed- eration of Engi- neering Stu- dents, the Engi- neering Student 1'1.,/0 /Jy Awx MiltllIr Societies Coun- H lIO Everybody! The first WEEF rep meet- ing of th term has come and gone, and om it came a few thing: . Funding Decision Dates for the tetm are set February 5 - Proposal Forms are available February 28 - Proposal Forms Due. March 13 - Presentations Meeting March 20 - Funding Decision Meeting There is about $50,000 available this term. These dates concern only the regular funding decision and not the supplementary $100,(XX) surplus. oc e ws cit of Ontario, the Canadian Alliance of Student ~ Associations, the Ontario Undergraduate Student VP SPEW Alliance, and of course the FEDS. So where to start. The Canadian Federation of Engineering Stu- dents (CFES) The CFES is an organization which is intended to facilitate communication with all Engineering Societies with in Canada. This encompasses 43 Engineering Societies and approximately 45 000 undergraduate engineering students. The CFES ,has three branches and a national executive. The three branches are the Congress of Canadian Engineering Students, the Cana- dian Engineering Competitions, and Project Magazine. Each of these branches functions as a separate financial entity from the CFES but has very close ties to the CFES. The CCFS is a conference that is held every January. At the conference engineering students from across Canada get together to discuss matters of national con- cern. This does not mean we discuss politics. In fact the CFES is not politically aligned. We discuss matters which effect all engineering students. Some topics which are discussed are women in engineering, frosh week, and National Engineering Week. Also during the conference a plenary session is held. During this meeting the future of the CFES is shaped. The Canadian Engineering Competition is held dur- ing March of each year. The competition is designed to test engineering students on there communication and design skills. In order to go to the competition a stu- dent must have won at one of the Regional competi- tions. These include OEC, QEC, AEC, and WEe. I'll explain these later. Project Magazine is the magazine which is sent out to every engineering school in Canada. It is supposed to be available to all engineering students. It is usually quite informative and covers issues related to engineer- ing students across Canada. There are four issues per year, and in each issue the national executive reports on what lh yarc doing. Unless of course you're like me and forg t to put anything in. The national executive are the people who run the Delinquint Gasses!! As of January 30, The following classes are without WEEF reps!!!!!! Get one as soon as possible pleaset! 3B Electrical, 3B Geological and 4B Geological. Students and Proposals For those that don't know, students are able to sub- mit proposals, and in fact are more than encouraged. If you see something lacking that in your mind would be of benefit to undergraduate engineering, please talk to your WEEF rep or me, and we can help you (or at least refer you to someone who can) in writing up and pre- senting a proposal. . $100,000 Funding Decision Due to a miscommunication with Financial Services that has since ~ rectified, we have a $100,(0) sur- plus. Please read the summary in this issue of the IW for more information. Fall 1996 Funding Decision Also in this issue of the IW there should be a copy of show. They deal with the day to day operation of the CFES. There are five executive members and four commissioners. The executive con- sists of four regional Vice Presidents and a President. Each of the regional Vice President also has another role. These are Vice President Finance, Vice President External, Vice President Internal and Vice President Education. The Vice Presidents rotate through out the regional Vice Presidents each year. Let me explain that better. If for example this year the Vice President Ontario is Vice President Internal as well (which is . actually the case), next year the Vice President Ontario will be Vice President External, followed by Education the year after and Finance the year after that. The Presi- dent can come from anywhere within Canada. All the positions are elected during CCFS. The Commission- ers are appointed by the CFES executive, the commis- sioner positions include Outreach, National Capital liaison, Electronic Communications, and Translation. These are probably pretty self explanatory so I won't go into detail about what each position does. This is getting long so 111 stop here. In my next spew I'll try to explain more about CASA and OUSA, if you'd like? Just a few more things. We are looking for people for Shadow days, so sign up!!! And National Engineering Week is coming up. We will be doing a Gtarity Chal- lenge during that week. I need Volunteers to elp out. As well during National Engineering Week we will be setting up a booth in a mall with ESQ. They will proba- bly be serving Ice Cream in a rather unusual manner, so if you'd like to help out place a note on my desk or e- mail me at n ~ VPX@novice. So come out on Tuesday and listen to Professor Beam. Sign up for all the stuff going on and ask me about CFES and pssco. Fabes the list of the projects funded in the fall. If you want more information on these, please drop by the WEEP office. Getting in touch with WEEF To contact me, or anyone else involved, please email endowment@helix, drop by the office (knock if the door is closed), or leave a note in the WEEF mailbox in the orifice. Please contact me if you have any questions, comments or just to say hello! I'm usually in the WEEF office, so it's not that hard. to find me. Keith. . . Photo by Michael Hermann
w ow, another two weeks has just disap- peared like the water in a canteen given to a thirsty person in the desert. I have spent time accomplishing many different tasks, one of which is figuring out some of my courses due to that midterm buzz word. Regardless, I have been extremely busy in the last while on different fronts including representing the University of Waterloo at the Engineering Student Society Councils of Ontario Olympics (ESSCOlympics). I contributed to the chaos that occurred that weekend with the dele- gates from Waterloo and the ESSCO exec. All was fun and the results were announced at the third ENCSOC meeting. On an important note, please find the time Ph%byBil/Gmy to read the article from the ESSCO exec that appears in this edition of the Iron Warrior. This article describes the initiatives the exec have done, are doing and are going to be doing in the future. In addition this article implores the H 0 everyone! I just got back from ESSCO Olympics at Queen's and WOW! ...... was it ver incredible! There were a total of about 35 teams competing and, low and behold, Waterloo "B" team won!!! I got the opportunity to meet tons of engineering students from other Universities as well as meeting many other VP Internals. It's inter- esting to see how unique all of the different engi- neering societies are. A few of us were talking about the communication between different schools and kicked around the idea of maybe having a meeting of all the Ontario Eng-Soc VPI's to share ideas and discuss issues! As I'm sure you all have noticed, January was a super busy month! From pubs and tours to Eng-Soc meetings and Eng-week, there's no way anyone could have complained of being bored! Speaking of pubs, the exchange direc- tors did a great job of running the exchange pub on the 23rd in POETS! Apparently it was one of the best exchange pub tum outs in a long time (if oe engineering students at Waterl to suggest way that ESSCO can help them immediate! and in the future whether it be on a professional., political or undergrad- uate initiatives. On the home front.. . due to the hard work of m finance director, Monica Milanowski, the finance books are currently looking in ship shape order. In addition, the pressure of having all cheques out by Thursday of each week ensures prompt delivery of money owing internally and externally. Conversations with the CSf office continues about maximizing our refunds. Dan Kim., the A-Soc finance guy has been in town, and con- versations with the government people about charity classification continues and we should have results for the next edition of the Iron Warrior. Renovating the orifice has become a topic of many conversations recently and the first preliminary quote has come in. The exec are working in conjunction with the original planner of the approved layout designs to see if funds can be received from the Student life Fund which would offset the cost of the renovations. If anybody has any possible ideas about how to improve the Engineering Society as a whole through renovations or capital purchases, please feel free to con- tact any of the exec. I know that I will always keep the door open to anybody who wants to freely talk about finding out how to improve the Engineering Society. The next meeting will be posted, so please feel free to come by and take an active step in improving the Engi- neering Society the way that you, the engineering stu- e ws VPFinance dent, would like to have it done. Remember that most people don't have the ability to read minds, so if you don't oice your opinion then any deficiencies that our Eng Soc has might be overlooked. On a final note, the CCFS '% books are again being revan'lped. All th final CST calculations are being don due to the tardiness tl'lat it took for the govern- ment to send the appropriate CSf application forms. Eng Soc "B" and the CCES Finance person, John Faber, will be working together in order to process the CSf application and the refund as quickly as possible. Look for the CFFS audit in the news in following edi.tions of the Iron Warrior since I will be auditing those books as well. See ya all.from the port window of my lear jet in the future. Jason you ask me, I'd say it had something to V t 1 do with those awesome sandwiches). n e rna It's really great to meet the new ........ r/IJ. exchange students and welcome them to p ew Waterloo - - hopefully there will be time for another struchon and exchange event before the end of the term (that who could for- meanswatch.forposters :) ) g t f . ~ (4'8 So far the response to the Task Team sign-up has SYStl'I1lS) I.'ontribulion of llw SOllY Ploy been incredible! A special note goes out to the 1 B cnvi- Station in P.o.F.T.S.! A hUgl' th.lnk.-; t l'Wty0nt' who ronmental class who completely filled their sheet with particip<ltc i! names of people who want to help out! Since February TIlere arC' lots and LOTS (did I m 'ntioJ)s Jots?) of is looking just as busy as January, there will be lots of other things 1 :ouJd sp<'w abollt, but I'll s<lW 1'()T1lt' for things to help out with ....... guaranteed, so if you still the next "%lg-Soc m 'ting. Oh .... olw last thing: I've put want to sign-up for the team, visit the orifice or talk to up a small coJk'Li:ion of 13.o:r. pub photos in P.OE-l.S.; your class rep. at th end of th<.' t<:'J1l1 J want to mnk 'a big nUnge of all During the week of Jan. 27th-30th, I learned quite a the term's events! There will abo be a photo competi- lot about my pathetic ability to make things out of tion with many diff,'rcnl u1lcgoril'S for lh' best l'vC)"Il paper. It all started with the "Blotter Airplane" J made phOlOS! So, jf you bring your cnmeT<1 to an ("v 'nl and for the engenuity event. Not only did I miss the target, get some cool pie/s/make some doubJ s fur me and J'll my "plane" (if you can call it that) drifted upside down add them. to the coUection! to the floor. I think I would l'lave had a better chance of Okay, that's all folks! Until next issue ........... .. winning had I nixed the whole design idea and just tossed a regular blotter off Poets balcony! Then, the humiliation continued with my paper boat which might have floated had it not been so big it was resting on tre bottom of the water tank! Ironically, I was even wearing my "Sailing Instructor" vest. To top it all off, my Blotter hat was lob-sided and wouldn't stay on my head. I was never any good at origami. Despite my paper dilemma, Eng week was a blast! Other events included banana eating contests, pseudo-machine con- Kim P.5. I have yet to see even 1 suggestion in th new suggestion box outside of the Orifice! Does that mean that tre Engineering Soci ty is completely and utterly perfect as it is????????????? Please, give us YOUR input! .. 18
m . Give us a call: PRINTING - ext 5176 DESIGN - ext. 2079 PHOTO IMAGING - ext 6807 Graphics Express*" South Campus Hall SCH 126, ext. 5140; Fax (519) 146-2698 Monday to Friday: 8:00 am - 8:00 pm Saturday: 12:00 - 4:00 pm " Dana Porter UHrary LIB 218, ext 2956; Fax (519) 746-3590 Monday to Friday: 8:00 am- 5:00 pm Call for evening/weekend hours Marchl .. ' '. . ,,','< National;. Week vents March 20 Brunn Trip