Friday, February 28, 1997 The Magazine of the University of Waterloo Engineering Society

Waterloo's
toboggans rule
the snow
uw teams take first and third at the
Great Northern Concrete Toboggan Race
Cherrie Nixon
48 Civil Road Crew
T!
e Great Northern Concrete
Toboggan Race (GNCTR) is an
annual undergraduate engineer-
ing student competition (primarily civil
engineering) open to university and
technical college teams from Canada,
United States, and abroad. It's the
largest civil engineering competition in
Canada, and one of the largest in North
America. The event involves the design,
construction and performance of a con-
crete toboggan. Design criteria for the
toboggan require a concrete running sur-
face, a total weight of lesS than 300 Ibs., a
braking system, and room for five riders.
The competition must be held in Cana-
da, alternating yearly between the west-
ern provinces and the eastern provinces.
The responsibility of hosting the follow-
ing year's event is offered to the overall
champion, provided that they qualify
geographically.
The 1997 GNCTR was dominated by
. Waterloo's two civil engineering teams
placing first and third overall at the event.
Waterloo's Snow Fear raced their wicked
"snowboard" toboggan to a spirited first
place overall finish. Placing second was
Ecole Polytedmique with "Caseme 21" a
fire brigade theme sled. Waterloo's own
Snow Warrior beat the critics senseless
with a hot, steerable "no-Jl(>t'd-to-Ican"
entry which placed 3rd overall and walked
away with "Best Technical Report" brag-
ging rights.
The race was described by the Carleton
University organizational committee On
their web page http://gnctr.carleton.cn
"The Great Northern Concrete Tobog-
gan Race is the largest engineering event of
its kind in Canada. It is a competition
where universities from across Canada and
around the world meet to display their
engineering creativity and innovation. Each
team consists of a minimum of six students
who are required to design, construct, and
continued on page 6
The "Fearing Not the Ice and Snow" Issue
Volume 10 Issue 3
= ~ i r o l ~
... Warr12r
tD tIS cOlltent.s .
Pltlllll1U!rS Pledge ...... ..... .2
OEC '97 ................... 3
More COllcrete ............ .7-9
Science & Technology . ...... . 10
OccideHtai Tourist .......... 11
Bill's Adventure ........ .12-13
Canadian Crossroads ........ 14
IW Arts . ............... 16-17
ESSCOlympics ............. 18
Freedomfrom Information .... 19
A History of The Crest . ..... . 20
EngSoc News .............. 21
a m b l e ~ ..
I live in a hole
Chris Foster
2A Mech - Mechgyver
Editor-In-Chief
I
E
ave determined that without a doubt that I
must live in a hole. It is the only logical explana-
tion for why everyone else knows where I'm
supposed. to be, or what I'm supposed to do, before
Ido.
This hole I live in must be a very special hole as it
allows the 552 hours that must exist past the 24 hours
that I know of, to past silently by without ever distuIb-
ing me. With some quick thinking you will realize that
up till now I was only aware of one of the 24 days in an
overall day - called a molday. It is the extra 23 days in
a day that allows the rest of the world to become so far
ahead of me that only they will know what is happen-
ing in my life. This woulq likely also explain why the
rest of my class is so far ahead of me in the assignments
and all other work that we have to do.
Now you may wonder what caused me to come to
this conclusion. My first clue was, as I have stated, the
fact that the rest of the world so far ahead of me in
everything. But why 24 days in a molday? Well, it's
only logical of course, there are 60 seconds in a minute,
60 minutes in an hour and 24 hours in a day. Therefore
foUowingthe pattern there must be 24 days in a mol-
day; it's intuitive. My second clue, and probably the
one that really gave it away; when ever I'm in a group
re-telling stories of events I was at, they all seem to
remember parts of the story that I know I was not there
for. Of course the only explanation possible is that I
must have been in my very special hole when whatev-
er happened happened. Of course I will admit that
many of these events did involved the enjoyment of a
rich golden beverage, but I see no connection there.
My last piece of evidence came just a short time ago. I
pulled an all-nighter, and of course when what I
though was morning came, it still felt like the day
before. Iwas caught in the molday.
Admittedly my guess at the extra 552 hours of the
overall day that I'm in my hole for is only an estimate.
An estimate based on the cruel logic I learn during the ,.
24 hours I know exist. Therefore, I can not guarantee
the actual number of hours or days in an overall day.
But what I am sure of is that there must be more than
the mere 24 that I know fot: sure exist.
Caught in A Great
White Whale
Mike Hermann
IW Assistant Editor
2A Systems - The Far Syde
l
m writing this from deep in the bowels of the
great whale called midterms. I managed to send
. t out to the rest of the IW team with the help of
my class (caught here in the great whale with me),
who happened to have a carrier pigeon which I
could use to send out my thoughts. My thoughts
are unfortunately so filled with squishy things,
D.E.'s and the Game of Life, that they may seem
somewhat muddled and confused. But that's ok. Tn
a few weeks I should feel much better.
As I write this my classmates and I are currently
working on an assignment in Software Engineering
based on a well-known programming chaIlenge called
the "Game of Life". As was pointed out to me by San-
jay, a fellow whale-dweller, this assignment, and it's
name, have a scary resemblance to our current real
lives. This "Game of Life" is actually a very simple pro-
gram, but we've been asked to implement it in such a
way that it ends up being a lot more complicated and
difficult. Sounds familiar to me. Many of us are very
behind on this "Game of Life", and most have had to
use the flex-days granted to us by our gracious instruc-
tor, Todd. Sounds like the classic second-chance at life
to me. The assignment has no defined worth, but we
know it could be a lot, so we're putting a lot of effort
into it. This gets more and more depressing as I realize
life has sunk to an assignment in front of a computer
terminal. I've been asked to refrain from making any
jokes aboutcompilin& so I'll have to cut myself off here.
As you all know carrier pigeons can't cany a lot so
this has to be short. I1l just remind everybody of two
things: check out the Shadow Day article elsewhere in
the paper, and remember, not to be like Ahab. Don't get
obseSsed with the whale, it's only self-destructive.
Mike Hermann
Editor-In-Chief
Chris Foster
Assistant' Editor
Michael Hermann
Iron Warrior Staff
Allison Annan
Ryan Chen-Wing
Audrey Faint
Alison Kudelka
Richard Kuttner
Amy Kim
Aaron Leiba
Dylan Luhowy
AlexMatan
caroline Page
Advertising.Managers
Bre:noa Bouchette
Cherne Nixon
Caroline Page
Keith Parker
Chris Potvin
Chris Sharpe
TIm White
Micheal Worry
I.nJIDCt"llUiln Zbou
Darren Dickson
Chris Sharpe
1997 Pledge Coordinators
J;
1989 the graduating class initiat-
ed the Plummer's Pledge Campaign
s a complement to the Voluntary
Student Contribution for the newly
formed Waterloo Engineering Endow-
ment Foundation (WEEF). In the
Plummer's Pledge Campaign, gradu-
ating fourth year students are asked to
pledge a set amount of money on a
yearly basis for a three year period.
This money goes directly into the
WEEF balance and the interest will be
used to support student projects and
purchase capital equipment to
improve the quality of our engineering
education at Waterloo.
Why should I care'
Now you might be asking yourself,
after 5 years of busting your ass to get
your degree and to get out of here, 'Why
should I care' what the quality of educa-
tion is like after I am gone? Why should
you spend hard earned money on other
students when you will not see the bene-
fits of it yourself. Here are a few answers
to this and other common questions you
might have about the Plummer's Pledge.
It is the reputation of Waterloo
mEN, not now, that will matter
PRIDE, we are, and always will be
Waterloo Engineers, surely you always
want to be known as the best! With the
budgeting shortfall that has been created
at all universities due to government
funding cuts, it is harder and harder to
maintain a level of technological excel-
lence. We are the technological leaders
of tomorrow Gust ask Mclean's maga-
zine), but maintaining this position takes
money. WEEP has been crucial in keep-
ing Waterloo Engineering technological-
ly superior, but this will continue to
become more and more expensive to do
RON OR
1997 PLUMMER'S
PLEDGE CAMPAIGN
this in the future.
Every dollar you
donate through
Plummer's Pledge
now will become
hundreds of thou-
sands of dollars of
interest to be spent in
the future.
to remain number one long after we're
gone, but what will contributing really
do Or you aside from that warm fuzzy
feeling we all love? The answer is sim-
ple. If, five or ten years down the road
you are up for a new position or a pro-
motion at your current job, it is the repu-
tation of Waterloo TI-IEN, not now, that
will matter. If Waterloo is no longer at
the forefront of engineering, you may
lose out to someone else who's degree
has risen in value compared to ours.
You don't even have to consider it as a
handout to future generations of Water-
loo engineers but as a small investment
in YOUR OWN FUTURE as well.
What you're broke?
After five years of having your pocket
picked by the school, the government
and of course the local taverns, you have
such an armload of debt that you really
don't think you can afford to contribute?
Well to solve that problem there have
been two different approaches taken by
the Plummer's Pledge visionaries.
The first is a waiting period of one
year before the first installment is
requested. That will give you plenty of
time to get your finances into something
that resembles order, and to arrange
your priorities Or spending. Also, there
are preset spending plans that range
from very small, to extravagant, or, you
can always set your own donation limits,
we will accept anything.
To avoid the problem of having to
come up with a lump sum donation at a
time when money may be tight, a new,
monthly pledge option that directly
withdraws your pledge (min. $10) from
your bank account has been initiated.
Finally, for those of you who don't
know, WEEP is classified as a charitable
organization This means that any dona-
tions are tax deductible on when com-
pleting your income tax return. You can
look at it then as though pledges will not
actually cost you what you donate, just
really reroute the money out of the gov-
ernment coffers.
Why the Plummer' Pledge though,
aren't there 8 lot ()f Alumni requests
for other donation ?
Yes there are. But WEEP is different in
many respects that make it the uperior
choice. First, your donation will never
ever be spent. It will remain in th
WEEF balance for as long as there is
engineering at Waterloo. Your money
will not be used to ftmd on important
piece of equipment but htmdreds of
them. WEEP is the gift that keeps on giv-
ing!
The second reason is that unlike other
Alumni donations, WEEP is controlled
solely by students. WE DEODE what is
important, we decide where our pliori-
ties lie and we decide what we feel is the
direction tha t the technological improve-
ments will take.
The Final Reason ....
. The Faculty of Engineering has taken a
leadership role at the university by insti-
tuting WEEP and the Plummer's Pledge.
Since WEEP was initiated, the Math and
Science faculties have both started their
own v rsions of the Plummer's Pledge.
This year we ha e initiated a fri ndly
competition between ourselves and the
Math Society' Pink Tie Pledge, to bring
in th most Pledge dollars. Th Mathies
have been busy already and have to this
date amassed $10,000 of graduate
pledges. Let us show th same spirit and
belief that we should put a littl back into
th system that has provided us with so
much. Please Pledge.
Anyone that has further que tions
about the Plummer's Pledge can have
them addressed in the future. As this
year's pledge Coordinators we will be
approaching every graduating class at
some time over the next two weeks.
Also, feel free to approach us at any time
or ask for us in the WEEP office. Keep
the tradition alive!
THIS YEARS GOAL $60,000. WE
CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE!
the Wire'ess
Side
Wetve got career
opporttAnnies for:
RON
OEC '98
-
To be a winner
Micheal Worry
48 Electrical - Omega Sector
"It is with great pleasure that I present this award to ....
Waterloo!"
Once again I'm on my feet cheering and shouting for
Waterloo. It's the OEC 97 Awards Banquet, and around
the room every Waterloo Engineer is glowing with
pride. No University could match our spirit, or success.
I watched in awe as category after category Waterloo
grew the pile of awards in the middle of our table. It's
not every day I get to see [Dean] Burns smile.
OEC is the Ontario Engineering Competition and it
offers students an opportunity to hone their Engineer-
ing skills and talents. OEC '98 is right here in Waterloo,
and though I will be off shrouded in Iron I know Water-
loo will continue to set a tradition of excellence. I
encourage you to become involved either as a competi-
tor or an organizer. There are six categories in the com-
petition.
Corporate Design provides students with the oppor-
tunity to develop a solution to a problem currently
faced by industry. This year our own Leif Bloomquist
won first with his Navigation System for Robotic Min-
ing Vehicles. Glen Aitken also had an impressive entry
Parliamentary Debate requires perhaps the least
preparation but arguably the most experience. Engi-
neers are often required to make critical evaluation of a
given proposal on short notice. This category challenges
entrants to present a well-fonnulated argwnent despite
limited preparation time. The Silver Tongue Award for
first place was licked by Doug Suerich, Ritcha Gupta.
Third place was triumphantly seized by Jason Worry
and Michael Worry.
We will graduate from Waterloo
Canada, Nortel, Sandford Fleming Foundation, Profes.-
sional Engineers of Ontario, Consulting Engineers of
Ontario, and ComDev. To carry within the self-mnfi-
dence, persuasive skills and passion to sway the leaders
of today is to lay the fOundation for a threshold career to
make yourself among the leaders of tomorrow.
OEC 98. University of Waterloo hosts. Are you ready
to taste success?
with a wealth of technical skills. How-
ever, without an outlet to express
those skills the dreams we have never
make it off the pillow. In an ever com-
plica world, it is necessary to be
able to express a new technology to
those that rruiy not have your experi-
ence in the field. For it may be those
individuals who have the money, con-
tacts or the title "Manager". At OEC
Attention Graduates
-. Waterloo ..

the student is given the opportunity to
convince a panel of Engineers of the
value of their idea. The Engineers
come from well respected organiza-
tions such as Ontario Hydro, Bell

ANYWHERE. ANYTIME. FOR PEOPlf OR PARCELS
AIRPORT SERVICE. FAST. COURTEOUS SERVICE
withhis600TonPortableWirelessLoadCellSystern.
Entrepreneurial Design encourages students to
design a marketable product or servke currently
unavailable in Canada. Winning projects will combine
both technical feasibility and innovation with a solid
marketing plan. This year Aqua Flow, by Mark Phillips,
Joyce Uu, Siva Sanmoga, Maroon Rashid seized sec-
ond, as well as the The Canadian induStrial Innovation
Centre Award. There was also this cool giant walking
ant, officially known as a Hexotica Modular Walking
Robot System entered by Dylan Horvath and Stef
Williams.
New Team Design is a new category created to rec-
ognize that Engineers are often required to work on
projects in groups under various constraints of time,
cost and materials. First year Engineering students are
challenged to work as a team to solve a design problem.
It's sort of like a tame Scunt. This year we were repre-
sented by John Struel, Shwan Nandi, Rob Wood and
Scott Redmond.
. Editorial Communications encourages students to
develop their communication skills, as well as to fonnu-
late and support a personal viewpoint. Discussion of
controversial subjects is encouraged. Tonya Sull y cap-
tured first with The Release of Biologically Engineered
Mico-organisms into our Environment.
We were lucky to have two entries in this category, so
of course Kenneth Yip got second with his topic:
Embrace the Next Generation of Wireless Communica-
tion Technology More Cautiously.
Explanatory Communications requires competitors
to explain a complicated technical issue or process in
terms that other professional can clearly understand.
Here, the development of effective communication
skills is emphasized. Chris McRaild captured the gold
medal for Waterloo with Personal Communications
Services (PCS): The Next Wave in Telecom for the
Masses. Christina Mitchell also made an impressive
presentation with Plasma Arc Technology: Application
in Hazardous Waste Management.
, . , .. . .. ... .,., ... .. ".
ossible:
Shadow Day
Mike Hermann
Shadow Day Co-Director
2A Systems - The Far SyDe
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to
introduce and promote the Engineering faculty at the
University of Waterloo. You will be assigned a high
school student who is interested in Engineering, and it
is your assignment to show them what daily life is real-
ly like. They will accompany you to your classes and
labs, covertly evaluating our faculty to see if it meets
their needs. These are the next class of engineers, your
potential fellow students, and you are to assist them as
needed. They will ask you questions, and seek out your
advice. You will of course be equipped with the proper
resources and assisted by the PMF (possible Mission
Force) directors, and activities to educate your charges
have been arranged for the afternoon. This is your
chance to pay back those who told you what you need-
ed to know when you were evaluating the faculty. This
message will self-destruct in five seconds.
So, now that a cryptic message has grabbed your
attention, let me explain what Shadow Days are. On
Tuesday, March 4th and Wednesday, March 5th high
school students will be joining us for a day. The shad-
ow program works by pairing up an interested
prospective student with a current student, hopefully in
the discipline they are interested in. The "shadow" gets
to accompany the "shadowee" to their classes and labs,
seeing what really happens in UW engineering. This is
an incredible opportunity for the shadows to see
beyond the brochures and marketing, and actually
experience the "real deal", good and bad. There will
also be seminars on admissions, the c:o-op process, each
program, and other parts of engineering
life (such as student projects like Midnight Sun or Con-
crete Toboggan, the Engineering Society, and
exchanges). The focus of the program is on engineering
in general, and is ideal for anybody considering it, not
just at UW.
Now you know what it is you should be asking your-
self; "How do I help out?"
Volunteering to be a shadowee is easy. Simplye-
mail me at rnherrnann@novice or Monica Milanowski,
the other Shadow Day Director, at rnmilanow@novice.
We'll tell you when and where to be, and what is
involved. By the time you read this the volunteers
meeting will have already happened, but that's OK!
You can still be involved, and we want to be able to
match shadows to shadowees one-to-one, so the more
the better.
If you know somebody who might want to register
to be a shadow, perhaps a cousin or sibling at a high
school we didn't mail too, they can still do that. Have
them contact us immediately, and we can probably still
fit them in. Ideally they should send us an e-mail or
phone the orifice and leave a message with 13etty. late
registrations are not a problem!
Finally, an emphatic THANK YOU! to all those who
are volunteering to be shadowees or conduct seminars.
With everybody's help, these will be the best Shadow
Days ever!
" .. ... "". , .. .... ... I

DEC '97 Awards
Entrepreneurial Design
lst Place: Ryerson Polytechnic University
Name(s): Vemon Kee
Project Title: Refreshable Tactile Braille Cell
2nd Place: University of Waterloo
Name(s): Mark Phillips, Joyce Liu, Siva Sanmoga,
Mamon Rashid
Project Title: Aqua Flow
3rd Place: University of Windsor
Name(s): Joseph J. Place, Ariel Deluy, Gary Billard
Project Title: Desktop Video Conferencing
Corporate Design
lst Place: University of Waterloo
Name(s): Leif Bloomquist
Project Title: Navigation System for Robotic Mining
Vehicles
2nd Place: University ofToronto
Name(s): Pratima Ramkhelawan, Sevana Yousefian,
Steve Sweeney, Eddy Wu
Project Title: Ceria Zirconia Prod uction
3rd Place: Carleton University
Name(s): Mark Heinemann, Eric St. Jean, Andrew
Richards, Daryl Lafleur
Project Title: Sll..A as a Technology Demonstrator
Team Design
lst Place: McMaster University
Name(s): Chris Parker, Josh Capogna, Andrew Baerg,
Tom Reeve
2nd Place: CarletonUniversity
Name(s): Laura Kneebone, Anna Minichilli, Jean lim,
,
Irene Casey
3rt! Place: University of Guelph
Name(s): Penh Tov, John Hayes, Adam Federer, Shel-
lie Boudreau
Editorial Communications
lsi Place: University of Waterloo
Name(s): Tonya Sulley
Project Title: The Release of Biologically Engineered
Micro-organisms into our Environment
2nd Place: University of Waterloo
Name(s): Kenneth Yip
Project Title: To Embrace the Next Generation Wire-
less Communication
Technology More Cautiously
3rd Place: Queen's University
Narne(s): Etienne de Villiers, Laura Hemstock
Project Title: The Future of Engineering Research
Parliamentary Debate
1st Place: University of Waterloo
Narne(s): Doug Suerich, Ritcha Gupla
2nd Place: Queen's University
Name(s): Dilip Andrade, Sanjay Nath
3rd Place: University of Waterloo
Narne(s): Jason Worry, Worry
Social Awareness Award: (sponsored by PEO)
Ryerson Polytechnic University
Name: Vernon Kee
Project Title: RefreshableTactile BrailIeCeJJ
Funding In Canada The Technical Excellence Award: (sponsored
by the Council of Ontario Deans of Engineering: Outstanding
Explanatory Communications
lsi Place: University of Waterloo
Name(s): Chris McRaild
Project Title: Personal Communications Services
(PeS): The Next Wave in
Telecom for Masses
2nd Place: University of Toronto
Name(s): Peter D. Grant, Paulo Borges
Project Title: Medical Stents: Alternative Life Saving
Technology
3rt! Place: Royal Military College
Name(s): OCdt. Barbarie Whalen, OCdt. Kathleen
Merrick
Project Title: Material Characterization of Retr0gres-
sion and Re-aged 7075-76 Aluminum Alloy
Technical Design)
Carleton University
Names: Mark Heineman, Eric St Jean, Wayne Yuke,
Daryl LaFleur
Project litll': SILA T h!ll logy I):
Canadian lndustriltl Innovation Centre
Award: MoM P(lb.'nb.ll (2 AWiln1o., no p.utIcllklro"II-r)
1, University of Waterloo
Name(s): Mark Phillips, Joye Llu, iva Sunmoga,
Mamon RashId
Project litle: Aqua Flow
2 University of Windsor
Name(s): Jcx;eph J. Place, Ariel DeJuy, Gary Billard
Project Title: Desktop Video Conferencing
Congratulations to all OEC '97 Winners
In 1998 OEC will be held right here at the University of Waterloo, Volunteers being gathered now to help
organize the event. If you are interested in helping, please email oec98@shim. There is something here for
everyone.
,
RON
race a toboggan with a running surface made complete-
ly out of Portland based concrete. All toboggans are also
with braking systems to bring these high
snow to a SCTeeching hall For safety, a
functional roll bar 15 also a requirement. Teams are
aw:rrded for overall design, thoroughness of
therr technical reports, creativity in theme and presenta-
tion, as well for race performance. To make the event
interesting, there are a numb r of constraints which
must be satisfied. For example, the toboggan must be
large enough to accommodate 5 riding participants and
the entire toboggan must weigh less than 3OO1bs. Each
year this vent brings together between 300 and 500
ambitious engineering students who do their best to
bring home the title of The Fastest Concrete Toboggan
In the World'."
The first GNCIR was held in Red Deer, Alberta, in
1974, with four teams competing from Alberta. This
year there were 23 tearns competing at Carleton Univer-
sity in Ottawa, two of which "Were American and the
rest Canadian.
The University of Waterloo traditionally enters a
toboggan in the GNOR each year. Waterloo teams are
renowned for their spirit, strong participation and inno-
vative designs. In 1995, "WaterLuge" became Water-
loo's first toboggan to take home the trophy for first
place overall. In 1996, Waterloo's "Sharctic Toboggan"
took third place overall. This year we continued the tra-
dition by taking both first and third place overall, as
well as numerous category nominations for both teams,
which constitutes the strongest showing ever by Water-
loo. Other awards to Waterloo's credit in recent years
include: 2nd in braking systen. design in 1993, 4th and
9th overall out of 48 tearns with the second fastest
descent in 1994, 2nd overall in 1987 and'1989, and vari-
ous strong finishes in individual categories.
This year, both Waterloo teams did extremely well in
every category. Snow Fear, the new trophy owner, was
nominated in five categories: Fastest Descent (2nd
fastest at 53 km/h), Best Overall Design, Best Braking
System, Best Concrete Design, and Best Team Spirit A
nomination indicates a top three finish in the given care-:
gory. Snow Warrior, the other kick-ass Waterloo team
who finished third plac overall, had nominati ns in ix
categories: Fastest Descent (3rd fastest at 52 km/h), Best
OveralJ Design, Best oncrete Mix, Best Technical Dis-
play, Best Aesthetics, and the People's hoice. Their
report was also selected as th Technical Report,
although there was no formal award for it.
TIle speed of descent was clocked midway down the
hill, which means that both Waterloo teams would
have actually reached approximately 60 km/h by the
time the sled crossed the finish lin . University of
Maryland clocked the fastest speed midway down the
hill at 57 km/h. However, th ir braking system was
not allowed to be used since it needed someone stand-
ing up to activate it, and standing up was ruled out by
race officials. When they went up for the award of
Fastest Descent, they chanted, 'Who needs brakes?!"
Activities took place between Wednesday, February
5th and Saturday, February 8th in Ottawa. Wednesday
morning at 9:00, the two tearns headed out to Ottawa
on the bus and arrived at the Citadel Inn around 2:00
p.m., thanks to our o'azy bus driver. Wednesday night,
team introductions were held in the hotel ballroom in
the basement. Waterloo's big entrance was noted in the
following day's newsletter put out by the organizers at
Carleton University. Waterloo's Snow Warrior hosted a
batch party in the hotel
for all of the teams
Wednesday night, and
it was a huge success.
The technical exhibi-
tion was held Thurs-
day and Friday at Car-
leton University. The
two Waterloo teams
had two of the only
non-theme displays.
Themes by other
teams included a bar
setup by the U. of
Maryland Rum Run-
ners whose sled wa
decorated with bam-
boo; a big banana sled
by U. of T. called the __ =-=----'
Frozen Banana which &uk Row (L-R): HallY MaJek, Klirk Pllp/ins!a, Mark Shifflet, lim Teefy, Rick CoIUrlS, Nat/ifill Proper, Mark Phillips, Gmerlle Skillller,
Darrel, DixolI, TIl'OOr Ross, Jeff Dilez., Mike Hamstra, Siall Ali, a,ris W!dd/IS, arris Shl11pe, AlltlxJIIY ZlIprillgtr, James Siroe
included a team in yel- Middle Row (L-R): Ioya' UII, Axel Nonega, Tmcy Smith, Uz Ncruson, Mike KTl?siIl, Rob /Xm,bino
low hats and t'W'd lfu!!;- Frollt Row IL-R): Delli/is Hickes, Alexonder Domallltzki, Amy DomllllltzJa, Flllnk al/mg, Cory Zure/I, Trewr Bailie
L
M_.l_ A._IL_-RJ ..;..:_S/UI__San_"I1.2.'gtl..;..,Dawr __ ' Ma _ tt_Ho_teJ..::.y,_U_ SlU/ _ EI....:!I1 ..;.. t_a".....:,by:.:... , ___ ---I
cots dressed as a
banana and a gorilla; a sled that looked like a coffin by with other pressing coursework deadlines. Our team
Mc{;ill called the Coffinboggan (appropriately named, captain, John Scholte, put a lot of time in doing a little bit
as we found out at the race on Saturday when their sled of everything.
fell apart at the top of the hill); and a sled that looked We can credit the success of Snow Fear's design and
like a big fuschia high-heeled shoe by Concordia Uni- construction to Tim Houtsma and Harnish Martin who
versity called the Flaming Heel which included a team designed and produced the drawings for our sled while
of cross-dressed men. on work term together in Vancouver, and began build-
Snow Fear is the first. "eight stream" class to place in ing it January 7th. Their main objectives were to design
the top five, let alone to take the trophy. This is due to a lightweight sled that was easily constructed given the
the preparation required to enter the event. It takes a lot time constraints, with innovative reinforcing and con-
of time, energy, and fund raising to put together a good crete design.
entry. Classes on the eight stream program basically The Snow Fear toboggan weighed in at 201 lbs,
only have a month to build their toboggan when they which was the lightest one at the competition. The
get here in January after the fall work term, while "four average weight this year was 280 - 285lbs., with a maxi-
stream" classes are here for two terms in a row. The mum allowable weight of 300 lbs. We were able to
whole team of 17 people pulled together well when we achieve an unusually lightweight sled because of our
got back to Waterloo in January. Everyone worked high tech reinforcement. Our slab was only 3/4" thick
hard, and was co-operative getting things done even with lightweight concrete. Usually this would not be
thick enough to withstand the forces that come into
play with 5 riders screanLing down an icy hill Howev-
er, the reinforcement we used is six times stronger than
the usual reinforcing steel, so this allowed for an unusu-
ally thin slab. The reinforcing material, called carbon
fibre reinforced polymer (CFRP), was donated to us by
Sika. The concrete slab itselJ was slightly hourglass
shaped, following snowboard and ski technology for
turning.
Snow Fear and Snow Warrior could not have done
any of this without our sponsors. Snow Fear would like
to thank Sika, Jacques Whitford Environmental limit-
ed, Golder Associates, Reid Crowther Consulting,
Hogg Fuel & Supply Ltd., the Federation of Students,
Erb Transport, Waterloo Engineering Endowment
Fund (WEEF), and Waterloo Concrete Products. Snow
Warrior would like to thank Boehmers, Traces, Water-
loo Concrete Products, Concast Pipes, Pakmail, XCG
,Con ultants, Lyle Electrical, Forwell's, Conestoga
Rovers & Associates, Autocon Composites, Dairy
World Foods, Vachon, Morval, Farah's Foods, Rior-
dan's, Josten's, the Federation of Students, the Faculty of
Engineering; the Dean's Office, WEEF, Mark's Work
Wearhouse, Atlas Alloys, Home Depot, Graphics
Express, Polycon Industries, Paragon Engineering, as
well as various other sponsors who aren't forgotten.
RON
Crow Dear
Tim White
48 Civil - Road Crew
The GNCIR 'Cfl was a great time. Many thin&, con-
tributed to our team, Snow Fear, taking first place over-
all Most of what happened. in Ottawa was confused
and seemed a bit beyond our control (well, maybe
that's just the alcohol talking). What really sets you in
contention for winning is what you do before you get
there, and the events that prepare you for the week of
the race.
Snow Fear consisted. of students from the 4B Civil
class, EngSoc B, known as Road Crew. You probably
haven't seen or heard of us, because we basically do
nothing. Most of us haven't been to POETS since Frosh
Week (yes, our Frosh Week) and you could count our
P"'*5 points on your left hand, even if you didn't have
any fingers. We did partake in a few Scunts. One of
them we thought we had a very good chance of win-
ning, but then we came in third. So after wasting time
and money, we decided. that we would have nothing to
do with EngSoc events ever again. To this day that is
still true. Why go to Poets? There's just a bunch of guys
there, why not go to the Bomber or Louie's and at least
try to get laid. We have had some bitching class parties,
but invitations were always somewhat limited.. That
paints us as a bunch of apathetic, sorry losers, but we
kind of like it that way.
Well, 38 rolled. around and we realized that it was
our tum to start working on tbe Concrete Toboggan, a
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fourth year tradition. At first, there was
enthusiastic support from the class, but
after we started collecting money and
appointing tasks, the numbers dropped
rapidly. I mean would you rather work
on a stupid toboggan or just go and have
a pitcher at the Bomber? The remaining
diehards began to work on raiSing
money to fund the Snow Fear initiative.
Nobody really thought seriously about
design. This trend carried on into 4A. At
this point organizational work on the
sled was well underway, but still next to
notrung was done on the design. On the
next work term the crunch hit. The
design had to be done, and one of our
project managers quit. Things looked
bleak for a bit But a few of our boys out I"-
in B.C. put there heads together and decided, "Damn it!
We are going to do this!"
They got down to it and designed a small technical
wonder. 'Then they made people commit to the team
(by making a hefty donation). After this requirement,
there were merely seventeen left out of a class of fifty-
seven. When we got back to school, construction
began. Much work was done. It is a danm good thing
we were in 4B and not 3A or many of us would be fail-
ing out right now.
This determination carried. right on through to our
last run down the hill. After this we were drained.. At
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the awards ceremony most of us were on our fourth
day of a hangover and just generally pissed off. It
looked like none of this work was going to payoff. The
awards ceremony dragged on, while we ($nor Fear and
Snow Warrior) were being nominated left right and
center, but we weren't winning anything. Snubbed at
every comer! All we really wanted to do at that Point
was get up and kick the shit out of the annoying
Queen's Engineers. Then we won. Then we broke the
trophy (but that's another story).
So how do you get Snow Fear out of Road Crew? I
don't know. The closest I've gotten is Crow Dear.
RON R
First place at the Great Northern Concrete Toboggan Race!
A Snow Fear chick's perspective
Cherie Nixon
Snow Fear (winning team)
Road Crew, 48 Civil
W
e came, we saw, we kicked ass. We
rocked the house. We took home the b'o-
phy - First Place Overall. Holy shit!
Wow . . Ah-Uuh-Ga.
The only thing NOT fun about our five day bender
was sharing a hotel floor at the Citadel Irm in Ottawa
with the sheep boys (ba-a-a) from Queen's who success-
fully set out to prove the limits of unwarranted human
arrogance. But Julie reigned terror on the one that tried
to take down our banners at the race hill on Saturday -
she tackled rum to the ground. Go Julie! But Queen's
got what they deserved at the awards banquet on Sat-
urday night - absolutely nothing.
At the team introductions Wednesday night,' we
loudly announced our arrival for all to admire with our
awesome banners, bandannas, flags, and uniforms.
Our once arch-rival, Snow Warrior (the other Waterloo
team), quickly became our biggest ally. They were very
supportive when we walked into the hall. Together we
brought the house down chanting, "Water-Water-
Water", "100-100-100" across the room, and crowd-
surfed the announcer. And no one's ears will forget the
contraption Rich prepared - a Waterloo engineering
hard hat with an old" Ah-Uuh-Ga" car hom attached to
the top, powered by a car battery and wired to a hand
switch. Waterloo overall was greeted with a bit of ani-
mosity from some of the other Ontario schools, and
(did I mention?) open hostility from Queen's who
thought sportsmanship meant being pricks to everyone
else.
After the team introductions, Yuk-Yuk's sent some
comedians over. We didn't like the first one, so we
went up to our rooms to prime for the batch party that
Snow Warrior was hosting later on that night. The
batch party was a wild success with no room to move,
and everyone became victims of the sneaky, evil batch
mix.
The technical exhibition was held Thursday and Fri-
day at Carleton University. Waterloo had the only two
non-theme displays. Themes by other teams included a
bar setup by the U. of Maryland Rum Runners whooe
sled was decorated with bamboo; the Frozen Banana
sled by U. of T. which included a team in yellow hats
and two mascots dressed as a banana and a gorilla; a
sled that looked like a coffin by McGill called the
Coffinboggan (appropriately named, as we found out
during Saturday's race); and a sled that looked like a big
fuschia high-heeled shoe by Concordia University
called the Flaming Heel which included a team of cross-
dressed men. These guys were kind of funny until they
got up on stage and started shaving each other's 1:xxlies
(excuse me while I puke). There were 23 teams in total.
Thursday before supper, there was a talent show
with skits by every team I wasn't there personally, but
apparently our skit was pretty good. The topic we were
given was "If Engineers Ruled the World". Everyone
really liked it and cheered for us until the end when
Hamish said, "So get your ass to a REAL school -
...... ." Waterloo!"
By the time we got
back to the hotel after
supper Thursday
night, we were really
getting sick of being
told where to be and
when. So instead of
heading to the bar on
the itinerary, some of
us stayed in to recov-
er from the evil batch
while the rest of us
headed out for more
at Zaphod's,
Ottawa's answer to
an alternative bar. It
was a cool bar and a great time, and Anjum met the
man of her dreams - Jolumy Vegas. How could any girl
forget the man in magenta? "Here's to feelin' good
ALL the time ... "
Friday afternoon, near the end of the technicalexhibi-
tion, Anjum, Jenn, and I headed to the second-hand
store, Phase Two, to look for the cheesiest, most outra-
geous outfits we could find to wear to the pub crawl
that night. While we were .
there, in uniform, the manager
came over to find out what
"Snow Fear" was. When we
explained, he gave each of us a
free thick, long-sleeved t-shirt to
keep us warm for the race.
The pub crawl that night in
the market was a blast We had
already thought U. of Alberta
rocked when we met them at
the batch party, but we became
each other's favourite team that
night. Apparently they were
talking about the famous four
"Snow Fear chicks" the next
day. Hey, what can we say?
When Bill and I ducked out
While we were gone, Jerm provided the entertainment
with her table dancing.
Everyone (except for U. of Saskatchewan - ''Where's
the chicken?'') was crazy that night A lot of mashing
(including one of the Snow Pear chicks but I won't tell
you which one) and chanting went on, and our leader,
Wagle, was the craziest of all. In fact, a lot of our spirit
points could possibly have been scored here. Wagle,
the head of Carleton u.'s EngSoc, was definitely the
right guy to befriend and buy drinks for.
Finally, the big race day arrived. This was the day
that mattered. Any given team could have been in first
pace up until Saturday, but without performance on the
hill to back it up, it meant nothing. We made ourselves
known with our banners that could be seen for miles,
Rich's ahooga hom that could be heard for miles, our
cheerleader pom-poms, flags, bandannas, and uni-
forms. We thought the guy from the radio station was a
bit of a goon, but it's good that he didn't know that
because he liked us, and we found out later that he was
one of the spirit judges.
We held our breath while shivering as we waited for
our sled to take off. Having chosen to be the third sled
down the hill, we started to wonder if it had been such
a wise idea after all since the first two sleds didn't make
it down without several collisions into the side walls.
But we were ecstatic as we watched Aaron "Ai.rbag"
Bellamy, Julie Waddell, John Scholte, and Tim Houtsma
become the first to make it successfully down the hill
with Hamish's good steering (and a little help from the
evil Ldtd Mongo - you can ask Hamish about that).
The exciting flight down the hill slammed to a snow-
flying halt as they did a side-winding, hockey stop into
the sidewall in combination with the aggressive, spring-
activated brakes. Not only was it awesome to watch, it
earned us one of the shortest stopping distances on the
hill that day. This was worth BIG points.
All of the races were fun to watch. A few of the
toboggans actually fell apart on the way down.
McGill's Coffinboggan completely collapsed near the
top of the hill, so that the riders had to pick up the
to go to the bank machine and
get coffee, we lost our group for Back Raw (l-r): Bill Hoogevien. Rich Zigrouic, Ian Stevens, Linam Attong, Ian MacDon-
awhile and partied with a few aid, Cherie Nixon, Wayne Jenkinson, Jenn Muller, Steve Goaiman, Anjum Mullick, Ted
other groups until we caught Shenood, Tim White
up with our group again. Front Raw (l-r) Hamish Martin, Tim Houtsrrul, John ScJrolte, Julie Waddell
pieceS and run down the hill together. McMaster U.
won the Most Spectacular Run for looing a new piece of
their toboggan with each crash into the sidewall, with a
grand finale snow-flying finish at the end of the run At
the awards banquet that night, when the safety inspec-
tor went up to give a speech, he thanked McGill for
falling apart at the beginning so that no one got hurt.
As we headed downstairs to make our grand
entrance into the awards banquet hall, we ran into our
favourite team, Queen's, in the hall and found them all
wearing kilts. This turned out to be very convenient for
us later on when they yelled "sucks" in between our
'Waterloo" chants. We bleated like sheep at them, and
that quieted them. (H you don't understand the joke
behind this, you probably don't want to).
Queen's weren't the only ones to show up in cheesy
outfits. However, they may have been the only ones
who did it unintentionally. Hamish, Tim H., Aaron,
and Rich all showed up in clothes resembling what
your dad wore in that picture of him holding you as a
baby. They had the multi-coloured gingham suitjackets
happening, powder blue suitjackets ... the only thing
they were missing were sideburns. You looked great,
guys. Oh, and Ian was dressed normally, but he defi-
nitely takes the drunk prize for the night with his,
"we're in the same hotel?"
The non-technical awards were announced first We

RON
since we 'were only in he middle of Carleton' "Fun-o-
meter" the previous da , but a lot of our pirit points
were either earned Friday night and Saturday at the
race hill. We were delighted to be nominated together
with our favourite team, the U. of Alberta Fire Brigade,
and we have them a standing ovation and chanted
across the room to them when they won the prize for
Best TeMn Spirit.
The nomination for Best Team Spirit was just the
beginning. It seemed like at least one of the Waterloo
teams was nominated for almost every award after that.
A nomination indicates a top three finish in the given
category. Altogether, Snow Fear was nominated for
five awards: Faster Descent (2nd fasted at 53 krn/h),
Best Overall Desig.n. Best Braking System., Best Concrete
Design, and Best Team Spirit. Snow Warrior, tlie other
Waterloo team, had nominations in six categories:
Fastest Descent (3rd fastest at 52 krn/h), Best Overall
Design, Concrete Mix, Best Technical Display, Best
Aesthetics, and the People's Choice. Their report was
also selected as the best technical report, although there
was no formal award for it.
The speed of descent was clocked midway down the
hill, which means that both Waterloo tearns would
have actually reached approximately 60 km/h by the
time the sled crossed the finish line. University of
Maryland clocked the fastest speed midway down the
hill at 57 km/h. However, their braking system was
,
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not allowed to be used since it needed someone stand-
ing up to activate it, and standing up was ruled out by
rave officials. When they went up for the award of
Fastest Descent, they chanted, "Who needs brakes?!"
Although we were excited about so many nomina-
tions, we were starting to wonder if we were actually
going to take anything home .. When we were
announced as on of the top five teams together with
Snow Warrior, we were ecstatic. Snow Warrior went
up for Third Place overall, and we were proud that at
least an of our teams actually managed to make the top
three. We chanted 'Waterloo" across the room, and
wondered whether we came fourth of fifth. But the
moment of glory came as the y announced First Place
Overall, and we screamed in delighted disbelief at each
other as we ran up to hold the trophy.
Speaking of holding the trophy, (that's what you're
supposed to do), Tim H. actually dropped it and it
broke! So we duct taped the trophy back together,
hugged each other, posed for pictures, and partied the
rest of the night
Now we're all back at school scrambling to catch up
on our school work. Most of us are sick too. Some of
us are even on antibiotics, but Bill takes the sick prize for
spending the week in bed without even being able to
eat anything. So if you see a bunch of sick people walk-
ing around, or hear them barking, tell them "Congratu-
lations"!
.Located in the W.e.R.f. Housing Complex 268 Phillip St. Waterloo 884-6606
Supermodelling the U
Theories of the Solar System from Aristotle to Isaac Newton

nlverse
iV;
through our lives we get so caught up
in our everyday activities that we forget
hat we really are. I mean that some of
us know who we are as people, but what we are is
only thought about during periods of loneliness,
or during times of temporary II enlightenment".
To get a good picture of what we are we
should look at and appreciate what we are a part
of: LIFE (not the magazine), The Universe, GaJax-
ies, and more locally, our Solar System. We have
all heard of the Space Age and all the buzzwords
that go aJong with it and that's it. We know that
Earth is contained in the Solar System but none of
us really know what lies past it and some of us
really don't know what it contains. It's much
more than a sun and nine planets, there are inter-
actions between the sun, planets, gravity, magnet-
ic fields, moons, asteroids, comets, and mete-
oroids that are awe-inspiring and should not be
taken for granted.
One of the first models of the Solar System(Uni-
verse back then), was proposed around two thou-
sand years ago called the Geocentric Universe.
This rehed heavily on the assumptions that
human beings were a very special race and that,
being the children of God, we must be the centre
of everything. The second assumption was that
the planets move in perfect circles or a combina-
tion of circles. One reasoning of this was "If we are
moving in orbit about the Sun, why don't we feel
any wind?" It was a good argument then. In 2
AD. a Greek astronomer named Ptolemy con-
structed a very elaborate model of a Geocentric
Universe that was not very precise, and it was
complicated but the Church seemed to like the
idea of being the centre of everything and, since it
was a primary sourc of education, this theory
stuck around for about 13 centuries. Necd.lcss to
say these were th Dark Ages(fith to tenth centu-
ry).
The Copernican Revolution finally got scientists
heads out of their asses and realize that the Earth
didn't have to be the centre of the Universe. This
awakening was part of the Renaissance starting
early fifteen hundreds. After careful thought and
plenty of observation, Nicholas Copernicus pro-
duced a model of a Heliocentric Universe that
was simpler and followed more closely the
motion of the planets. (New details continuously
had to be added to the Ptolemaic model so that it
coincided with new observation). The only prob-
lem with the Copernicus model was that he main-
tained the circular motion that Greeks were so
found of. He published his theory in 1543, the
year he died, but no one took his theory too seri-
ously because it went against 13 centuries of
dogma. Galileo Galilei, the firs t modern
astronomer, supported this view in the early
1600s and the Roman Catholic Church banned
the publication in 1616 and put Galileo under
house arrest in 1633. He was publicly apologized
to by the Church in 1992
Surprisingly, proof of the Copernican system
did not surface until the mid-nineteenth century
when a stellar parallax measurement was first
confirmed. A stellar parallax is the apparent dis-
placement of the stars When moving to different
positions on Earth. This is measured using trian-
gulation and was impossible to measure during
Aristotle's and Copernicus' time. Full acceptance
of the Heliocentric Universe came gradually and
didn't fully occur until the space probes of the
19605, 70s, and 80s.
Over the course of the centuries since Coperni-
cus's death many scientists and mathematicians
helped form the model that we live by today.
Johannes Kepler, a mathematician, was the first to
describe planetary motion as elliptical This was
just one of Kepler's Laws of Planetary Motion that
he derived during the 29 years he studied the
astronomicaJ data ofTymo Brahe.
The next great contributor to the study of
astronomy was Isaac Newton, most famous for
his Laws of Motion. Newton was born on Christ-
mas in 1642, the year Galileo died. He spent all of
his life questioning motion and much of his life
studying the motion of our moon. All of his theo-
ries are the results of problems of planetary
motion. In this time he developed the Three Laws
of Motion, the Law of Gravity, Newtonian
Mechanics, CaJculus, the phenomenon of force, as
well as other theories that are too detailed to men-
tion here, basically Newton was no slouch. All
theorists and scientists before Newton sought to
describe motion, Newton showed us why.
Newton was not completely right in all of his
laws especially when it came to objects moving
n ar the velocity of light. It took the Theory of
Relativity and many theories, too numerous to
mention, in the 20th century to describe and
model more complicated systems of planets. The
point is that it took two thousand years to solve
this problem of the planets ... you think you have
problems.
Recently, while up late writing a MateriaJs lab,
my roommate lamented to me in despair, "Where
does this all fit in the Great Scheme of Things?,"
and it really doesn't. How humans became so
damn smart, and why we have become the race
that we are is way beyond me. But every once in
a while when I'm fighting with my girlfriend,
stressing about school, or worrying about where
my life is going, I think about how small and
meaningless my problem is compared to my posi-
tion in The Universe, I'm a speck, and my problem is
the problem of a speck. .. nmybe things get taken too seri-
ously. I think about those people before me devot-
ing their lives to the observation and study of the
Universe trying to unlock mysteries. They're gone
but their contributions will continue, I mean suc-
cess is great but no one is going to look back and
say,'Wow,s/hehadalotofmoney."
Geocent"riC Model of the Solo.r SystefY)
On the Side ...
The Wond's Most Powerful Laser
The US Department of Energy has developed a new way to assess
the quality of their aging nuclear warheads: mathematical models. They
can no longer randomly pick and set off a warhead in the stockpile since
the signing of the Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty. The quality checks for
the 10,000 nuclear weapons will be theoretically approximated thanks to
a new $1.1 billion "fusion reactor" called The National Ignition Facility(NIF).
Scheduled for completion in 2002, the NIF will use inertial laser fusion to
produce temperatures seen during nuclear detonations. There will be
192 ultraviolet laser ''beamlets'' housed in a building the size of a football
stadium. The lasers will be focused on a BB-sized capsule containing
deuterium and tritium. Ignition of the isotopes will cause a self-sustaining
fusion reaction, equivalent to that inside the sun, releasing 10 times the
amount of energy required by the lasers. Results will be used to form the
mathematical models linking reliability and age of the warheads.
Feeling Gravity's Pull
The Caiifomia Institute of Technology and MIT are currently construct-
ing an instrument to locate gravity waves, as predicted in Einstein's Theo-
ry of Relativity. This device consists of two perpendicular vacuum tunnels
21.2 miles long and 4 ft. diameter with lasers travelling through them. If
gravity waves exist then the their passage will slightly dlange the length of
one of the tunnels and a difference in laser travelling time will be seen.
Tunnels are being built in Washington, Louisiana, and Italy to rule out
false signals.
Superheated Ice
A new form of ice has taken science by suprise. Scientists from the
U.S. Geological Survey and Lawrence Livermore National Ubrary discov-
ered that when fine ice granules are mixed with cold, pressurized
o
methane gas, the ice could be heated 20 F above its normal melting point
without a phase d1ange. A possible explanation could be the formation of
a molecular latticeworK giving extra strength to the molecular structure.
This latticework is composed of calthrates, solid compounds of methane
and water. Compounds such as these are formed naturally below the
ocean floor and on distant, icy moons.
Speak and you shall be heard Write and you shall be read
Listen and you
E
ery day of classes last week I attended
lectures by guest speakers. These events
rich opporhmities for learning from
more experienced and interesting folk. You
can use them as a of things to glean' signposts
of insight of things to do and things to avoid in
our path through life. the people are the old
men the knights etc. sages on the cobbled.
road to where you go speaking of things to
come. It is valuable to listen and speak to
these people to avoid the apprehensive antici-
pation that is rooted in ignorance.
Don Amos, a vice-president of Magna
International, spoke to a room of around
about a hllildred co-op students taking up the
greater part of Magna's hour and a half pre-
sentation to co-op students.
He was wearing a dark suit with a turtle
neck which clearly stated he meant business,
casual Don narrated a series of POWerpointTM
slides which outlined the structure and philos-
ophy of Magna.
Just like a salesman he opened the case and
showed us the goods trying to get us to buy.
Fast-talking to prove that his product beats
heck out of anything else.
We were never given a chance to ask ques-
tions which made it seem more and more like
the propaganda session that it became.
It is unfortunate that what could have been
a valuable learning experience, just didn't
have much value. I just got this opinion from
the appearance that Amos just wanted to talk
at us without getting any feedback. Ironically,
some feedback I would have given, if asked,
was to let us give more feedback
On I attended the Entrepreneurs
.Gub meeting where Wblf Kessler, president
of SkyJack would speak. About eighty
mechanical engineering students packed into
a classroom to see Wolf.
In a friendly conversational style he mean-
dered between the title, "The Growth of Sky-
Jack," and perhaps the more interesting sub-
ject of entrepreneurship.
During his talk he encpuraged people to ask
questions which was a welcome du:mge. Wolf
talked about his thoughts on business with
great interest like a good 01' uncle telling you
about how he started his
business, which Wolf
did.
company when someone told him that
everyone needed these lifts. Every time
anyone set up a new plant they got 20 J
or more of these scissor lifts. D \ \ L r "'rr: (
In between anecdotes of his rom- , j J.,l . ' ".-:
pany's growth he'd bring up '1 - \ ., 1-L \ r
important thoughts about creativi- . )\ f f -:::: . - r
ty and entrepreneurship before r r- \11 'L 11 f". ' \ \, \ \ \ -
he'd cheerfully hop back to stories r 1 j
of SkyJack. \ \ \ ('
What made seeing Wolf Kessler
speak was his enthusiasm in addressing
us and his noticeable desire to share his
thoughts with us. Additionally he valued what
we had to say to him.
It is unfortunate he couldn't stay for longer;
he had to leave to ha e lllilch with the presi-
dent where, Downey woUld probably ask him
for a donation for UW.
Peter pulled out his laptop onto the podi-
um at the front of the dining room in the base-
ment of the Xerox building but spoke not from
the screen but from his mind.
Peter Cheney addressed everyone at
Imprint's student journalism conference as the
keynote speaker last Friday.
O1eney is a features writer from the Toronto
Star. He, perhaps most notably, wrote the
longest newspaper sto1)' in Canadian
which followed the life of a Somalian nomad-
boy and the life of the Canadian soldier who
killed him.
One message he had for us, strong and clear,
was that print media would be saved in the
telling of stories. Stories are what people like
and what people respond to and newspapers
can do that for them; and stories he told. Peter
talked with verve and style as though these
things were happening to him right there and
he was telling what he saw.
We heard of his interviews with Madonna
and James Brown and his got the diary of the
Canadian soldier. He told us of his expcri 11 !S
in Iraq with the Kurdish refugees. With his sto-
ries he let me sec these things so clear.
MelWards we all relaxed at Wc<wer's Ann.<.;.
''}fey, what's your name?"
"Ryan."
"Peter," as thOUgll1 didn't know.
What was better than hearing his talk was
having a ronversation with hirn. He definitely
seemed concerned witl1 what we had to say
like an older brother. He told stories and lis-
I ed
Some thing
earn m kiridergarten
On a Tuesday morning last semes-
ter, on campus, I saw a small group of
kindergarten students. Meekly, they sat on
a bench while their two supervisors offered
one shortbread cookie to each child. I
stopped to look at them all bundled with
jackets. little boots and string-attached mit-
tens. Ait those little tots seemed quite sub-
dued which saddened me as it wasn't like
my vision of playfulness that J associate
with children.
One of the causes of their behaviour,
don't doubt, was the rope which was on
not
it. l gather that the youngsters
,"''"." ... to hold on to the rope wheneve
in a group. It prevents them fro
,.".r,;nlln,cr constantly it keeps them on the
straits of conformity.
I supposed it Interesting that they are i
the beginning of their forma
and they were at a
which usuaHy represents the conclusion of
formal education. I see the rope as very
telling of an educational future of left-
brained conformity they face. In fact the
rope and how it is used can symbolize
homogeneous knowledge learning not
thought learning.
Of all the things I have to say to you and
those young kids, the most important is,
"Let go of the rope man'"
He recounted the sto- tened to our stories; we are all richer for having
ries of how he started his listened.
RON ARRIOR
Bill's continuing adventures
Bill Gray
4B Comp - Sun of A Bit!
" Bula" August 8-18 Fiji
H
ving reserved the last two available seats
out of Auckland, we settled back for our
our hour flight north to the tropical par-
adise of Fiji. We landed in complete darkness and
immediately fell into the duty free trap, where litre
bottles of 116 proof Fiji Rum were selling for five
dollars. After the oppressive liquor prices of Aus-
tralia and New Zealand, and wanting a taste of
home, we snatched up a bottle of Canadian Club.
The staff at the duty free store wanted us to buy
extra and sell it to them outside the airport, but we
decided that breaking the law was not the ideal 'first
activity' on our vacation itinerary. Once we were
through customs, we were accosted by taxi drivers
who all had the cheapest fares and were willing to
bring us to the best hotels. We had decided on one
before arrival and we were soon in the surprisingly
clean Nadi Bay Hotel, planning how we were going
to spend the next three weeks here in paradise.
Fiji is a nation comprised of over 800 islands covering
1.6 million square kilometers in the South Pacific Ocean,
2100km north of New Zealand. Only 105 of the islands
are populated, with the total population being around
800 CXXJ. This population is roughly half native Fijians
and half Indians, descendants of field workers from
when Fiji was a British colony. These two populations
have many differences, which carne to a head in 1987
when the ruling Fiji-dominated party was defeated by
an Indian-backed coalition. A peaceful military coup
ensued, and by 1990 the new constitution was in place
guaranteeing Fijians a permanent legislative majority.
The next morning we realized. that 'rniI\utes from the
airport' in Fiji means that you could probably hit the
runway with a stone if you tried. As the 747's landed,
we were forced to wake up and take stock of our situa-
tion. After some searching and questioning in Nadi
(home to Fiji's only McDonald's where ketchup costs
$O.25/packet but chili sauce is free) we decided to first
try a budget resort, then a more up-scale one for the last
week. The next day we caught the bus from adi to
lautoka, where we boarded the boat that was to take us
to the island of Tavewa of the Ya..<;awa group to th
north-west of Viti Levu.
This boat was ... small.
small. The ride was ..
esting. Although the
er was gorgeous, and
sea completely calm,
two hour ride was less
perfect. The most bla
safety violation was
siphoning of gas from
spare tanks to the main
which was accomplished
sucking on the siphon
to get the gas flovving.
result was spilt gas all
the back of the boat, and
overw helming fu
forced us to stick our neaus
out the windows for most
the trip. We made itto
wa though, and were
ed by a the resort staff
the beach, singing a
come song.
Now, when a Fijian tourist brochure says budget', it
is not joking around. First off, there is no electricity on
the island. The only lights are two Coleman lanterns
that hang in the main building. No electricity also
means no hot water, although we were lucky to have
fresh water 'showers', unlike some other resorts. And
our accommcx:l.ation consisted of a thatched hut, or bure
(burr-ay) containing a bed and some mosquito netting.
What the resort did offer, however, was three excellent
meals a day, interesting people to talk to, a host of activ-
ities throughout the week and some excellent beach.
The key here is the beach. Don' t get m wrong - T
still think that the beaches on Lake Superior ar the
finest I have seen. But there's som thing about having
an endless expanse of warm ocean at your feet, palm
trees at your ba k and a tropical S\'u1 shining down from
abov . I can't explain it, but as I lay under the sun I
could feel all th tress and tension of four years of uni-
\' rsity melting away into th sand, n ver to be seen
again. Although I am the kind of person who gets
antsy when faced with 40 minutes of dead time, I found
no trouble wasting away nine whole days dOing ... noth-
ing.
During my stay on Tavewa, I made great strides in
overcoming my irrational fear of stinging insects. The
island was teeming with hornets the size of horse-flies.
These hornets went through the walls of our bure freely
and were constantly bumping into people as they flew
around the island, doing what hornets do. Also in our
bure was a mouse that showed great innovation in get-
ting into our food no mattc'r wh r(' Wl' put it (including
hanging (rom the i ling). And o( )Ur.iC, I' ll ne er for-
gel waking up on our lasl night in tl w bun.' tn find a
-------------------------- --- - ---------, t.I1n'e inch long x:kroad1 on my b.lck. ' tude-nt housing
Explorations 97
Alex Matan
Explorations Director
1 B Elec - Spike Suppression
a
Saturday, March 8, Engineering will be
rimming with swarms of alert, bright-eyed,
eager, young people. No, the Dean will not
put speed in our drinking water and make us write
a Saturday morning midterm. Thousands of local
grade-school kids interested in engineering, whose
life force has yet to be sucked from them, have been
invited to pay a visit to the fortified domain of the
mighty Plummers.
Many a shrine to the works of the Plummer will be
erected for these super-sub-frosh to pay homage (and
have a little fun, we hope). But they are scattered about
Engineering Land, and these kids (accompanied by
their parents) cannot navigate the treacherous corridors
of EOo alone. They must be guided by someone pos-
sessed of divine knowledge, or, failing that, anyone we
can get (that means you).
In exchange for your loyal service, you will be pro-
vided with sustenance (bagels, muffins, coffee, pop,
pizza), vestments (a neat-o T-shirt), and an increase in
rank cP-5 points).
If you're interested, sign up in the Orifice, or add your
name to the sign-up list that your class rep should now
have.
And yes, the Lego robots will be there.
For more information, contact
Alex Matan arnatan@gaff
Lynn Zupancic mzupanci@ci.vil
(Explorations Directors)
suddenly St'l'ml>d lu urious.
In addition to lying on th ' b<.'Clch, thl'l\.' W( rc variolls
activiti ~ avaiJable through-out the wl'(.'k, fi ll h .1s going
to Ii on another beach (on the island whc'rc they film ~
The Blue r.ag n) or vi iting a nearby village, wh ' re we
met the hief and attended church HCrvi ~ On th fish-
ing trip, w watched the locals dive down 20m for min-
utes to spear fish, which we later COOkl'CI ov r an open
fire on the beach, with .fresh lim', papaya and c ~ v a
We hiked to the highest point on the island for a spec-
tacul a r view of the surround ing islands, s itting in
impossibly blue water, and eventually watched the sun
set into the Pacific Ocean. The nights were fill ed with
music, all composed and periormed by the locals, and
the whole group danced the Polynesian two-step until
bed time.
We also got to take part in the Yoqana ceremony, an
important part of the Fijian culture. Yoqana is a drink
prepared by soaking a root called kava (ground and
(continued on page 13)
(a:rdinu:rl fn:m rage 12)
dried) in water. The result is a drink that looks slightly
like muddy water, and tastes slightly worse. The
group sits in a circle, and coconut shells full of yoqana
are passed around the circle to the recipient. When
accepting i:I bowl of yoqana, proper etiquette is to drink
the entire bowl in one go - no sipping allowed. Given
the taste, chugging is the best idea anyway. The drink
is supposed to have many medicinal benefits, but the
only thing I noticed was that it instantly nwnbed every-
thing it touched on Us way down my throat. The end
result was not unlike a visit to the dentist. Another
interesting fact is that, like UW Engineers and Batch, a
weaker version of yoqana is mixed up to serve to for-
eigners. I learned this the hard way, when offered
some 'real' yoqana by the chief during the village visit
while waiting for the rest of our group to return from
their wanderings. While I experienced no effects past
numbness, continued imbibernent supposedly brings
upon euphoria and other fun feelings. As such, kava is
not allowed into the United
State , but can be brought
into Canada with no difficul-
ties.
After nine glorious days it
was time to leave, however.
We all loaded our stuff onto
the boat (the small, small
boat) said our good-byes and
headed towards the main
island of Viti Levu as the taff
of the resort sang their
Farewell Song from the
beach. This trip was even
less fun than the first one and
everyone on-board looked
fairly queasy by tlle time we
arrived back in lautoka.
And thus our first week
and a half in Fiji was over.
We were tanned, relaxed and
content. We
RON
were also completely saturated with
sand and dying for a hot-shower and
some vegetables other than cassava and
eggplant. 0 time to worry about that,
however, as we had to scramble around
lautoka to get traveler's cheques cashed
and our tab at the resort paid off before
Photos:
OR
boarding another boat to bring us to the second resort
on our Fiji tour.
Bure (far left), Yoqana-d.rinking ceremony (above left), Island
of Tavewa (above right)
Rafting In Ottawa
Keith Parker
The FarSyde
Systems Design - Class of 2000
U
st year, on May 31 1996, some fifty
fearless Waterloo Engineers and friends
eft the friendly confines, of Waterloo,
Toronto, Ottawa or wherever it was they
were stuck in school or on co-op, to brave the
frigid whitewater of the Ottawa River. This
year it's happening all over again! And this
time it's going to be even bigger than last year
(and the water will be warmer too!!!)
On July 11 1997, leave civilization for two-
days of fun-in-the-sun, ups-downs and chum-
you-alI-arounds, some partying and maybe
even time for a breather here and there.... Oh
yeah, and getting a little wet!
It only costs $160. For fuis you get a full day of
rafting, all meals (including a steak dinner on the
Saturday night), a party on the Saturday night
(bottomless beverages), and camping. How-
ever spaces are limited!!! There are also other
packages available if you are interested.
I highly recommend going!
Just talk to anyone that went
last year!! Check out the IW
from last summer with rafting
on the cover.
Deposits are $60 and are due
on March 12. However, it's
first come first serve, and
are a limited number of spots
available, so you may want to
contact me sooner.
If you have any question,
in tou.ch with me! Keith
at 884-2752 or email me
bkparker@novice.uwateJrloc1.ca.
See You on the Freakin
Crazy wildly' flippin' River!
RON
Canadian
Crossroads
International
Georgia Albert
48 Chemical -WMH
I first cliscovered Canadian Crossroads International
two years ago. I had long wanted to experience life in a
developing country and finally decided that the timing
was right. After looking into many different organiza-
tions I decided that Canadian Crossroads International
was the right group for me.
CanLUiian Crossroads International (CCI) (S a dynamic
non-profit organimtion made up oj hundreds of energetic vol-
unteers and a small full-time staff whose joint goal is to pro-
mote global understanding and cross-cllltliral awareness.
This is done by sending Canadian volunteers on short-term
work placements in developing countries, btJ placing volun-
teers from deve/opillg nations in Canada, and by sponsoring
col11munity educntion programs. CCI has 110 political or reli-
giOlIS affil iations.
I just took that last paragraph from a CCI flyer. I
thought you might want the official word. Now I'll tell
you my version. Last spring I was selected along with
four other applicants to form the 1997 Kitchener-Water-
100 Canadian Crossroads committee. The selection
process consisted of a six page application with three
letters of reference and an interview.
Fund raising
After the 1997 committee was formed, we were intro-
duced to the joy of fund raising. Each person must
fundraise $2250 although fund raising is generally car-
ried out as a group effort. It is quite challenging to raise
such a large amount of money and it requires a large
time commitment. Fund raising is a rewarding learn-
ing experience but I will be relieved when it is finally
ARRIOR
finished.
Self Assessment Weekend
In October the committee attended the first of three
mandatory orientation weekends - Self-Assessment
weekend. The self-assessment weekend is designed to
help an individual assess their readiness and motiva-
tion for involvement with Co. With midterms loom-
ing in the near future and assignment due dates, we all
had misgivings about committing a whole weekend to
Co. Anxiety over final selections did nothing to aid the
situation However, at the end of the very enlightening
weekend we were all extremely happy with the results.
One notable highlight was meeting Crossroaders from
other committees.
Final SelectionIPlacement
In late November we received our selection/accep-
tance package. For the majority of Crossroaders, that
included their placement country. None of us were
placed in the country of our choice but it was hard to be
disappointed when I discovered that I was going to Fiji
Crossroads placements start in May, September or
December and last for approximateW"l'4' Weeks. Most
crossroaders live with host families and receive com-
munity work placements from representa-
tives. This work placement can vary but is often with a
local non-governmental organization. The work place-
ment provides a medium to participate in the commu-
nity and to meet people. Crossroaders are not paid a
wage but are provided with funds to meet the cost of
livingin the country.
Development Education
Some of our time is devoted to what we call develop-
ment education or DevEd for short. DevEd is any type
of activity that we do as a group to educate ourselves
about local or global development issues or to prepare
ourselves further for our placements. DevEd is largely
directed by each new committee but there is an official
DevEd coordinator who facilitates events. For example,
we've attended an Anti-Racism workshop, a Conflict
Resolution workshop and listened to presentations by
past Crossroaders on their experiences.
The Sandford Fleming Foundfition
4306 Carl Pollock Hall, University of Waterloo
Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3G 1
The 1997 Committee
This year, three of the five 1997 Crossroaders are
Waterloo Engineers. Christa MossmaI\ a 3rd year A-
Soc Systems Design engineer, will be off to Indonesia in
September. Kirk Schutz, in 4B Ow, will also be off in
September but he won't learn his placement country
until May.
We have two main fundraise:rs happening right now.
We just got some really cool t-shirts in. You may have
seen some of the Civils wearing them because Kirk
already conned his friends into buying some. Kidding:)
They're $20. Summer is coming, buy a t-shirt!
Our big, big fundraiser on the go right now is called
the Feast or Famine Dinner. The Feast or Famine din-
ner is a banquet with a twist. The essence of the event is
that the distribution of the meals is proportionate to the
distribution of food in the world. As guests arrive, they
are given an identity that determines who they are,
what they will eat and how they are treated. The goal is
to provoke thought on global food inequities. It's going
to be a fun and educational event so please come out
and support us. The Feast or Famine dinner will take
place on Saturday, March 15 at 6:30 pm at St. Mark's
Lutheran Church. St. Mark's Church is at 825 King St.
W.,Waterloo between the hospital and Kitchener Colle-
giate Institute. Tickets will be $6. To reserve tickets,
please call Georgia at 886-9746 or Kirk at 747-1821.
I've already been involved with Canadian Cross-
roads International for almost a year. It's been hectic
but it's been a great experience and I've had the oppor-
tunity to work with many fun and interesting people.
This weekend, I'll be putting my school work aside for
Regional Orientation Soon I'll be off to' Fiji for over 3
months and I'm getting pretty excited and pretty terri-
fied. If you think you might be interested in Canadian
Crossroads International get in touch with Kelly Barnett
at 746-1427 or Christine Main at 725-5112. Kirk and I
would also be happy to answer any questions. The
application deadline is May I, 1997 for Crossroaders
leaving in 1998, so act now!
Waterloo Campus Activities
sff@dean
(519) 8884008
WINTER 1997 TECHNICAL SPEAKER COMPETITION
Ernest Yeung, Electrical & Computer Engineering
"Video De-Interlacing using a 3-D Interpolation System
Chris Visser, Mechanical Engineering
"Improvements to an Industrial Water Softener"
Faisal Karmali, Systems Design Engineering
"Piazo Electric Motors for Space Based Robots"
e."",4Clil4tlM4 t. 4IJ , .. fJetlf41U.
SFF Debates:
Kenton Ho, Chemical Engineering
"ISODEWAX Feed Quality Prediction Model"
The Sandford Aeming Debate Rnals will be held the week of March 10. Contact your departmental Undergraduate
Office if you are interested in participating.
Funding for these awards comes from your student contributions and depends on it for continuation.
An organization devoted to the advancement of engineering education.
Off on a
tangent
Zhan Huan Zhou
Flying Circuits, 18 Comp
Throughout the entire existence of our race, we have strug-
gled to find the meaning of our being. From this primal need to
find purpose in our lives, we have developed concepts of spiri-
tuaIity in the form of various religions and beliefs. As humani-
ty evolved and developed logical thought, the sciences and
mathematics were invented to aid ambitious minds explain the
. physical world about us. Many of the theories put forth by
famed scientists of the past such as Galileo and Olarles Darwin
were scrutinized and rejected by the church. Even with
immense scientific basis, the chu.rch did not accept anything
that would intervene with the common belief that God created
humans and the Earth as the centre of the universe. Darwin's
teachings were banned from schools. Galileo was sentenced to
house arrest Both prevail in modern science.
Like the immortal names of Galileo and Darwin, I too chal-
lenge the basic principles of understanding and propose a revo-
lutionary theory that will dramatically alter the way we per-
ceive the world. From years of observations, subject to intense
mathematical criticism, I have uncovered the secret of life. I am
not talking about how life originated or the purpose of life, but
the essence of life itself. Prepare yourself for this is the line that
will change the way you comprehend the world Life is a sine
wave.
That's it! Or rather, that is a large simplification of my theo-
'ry. Let me explain from the beginning. First there are two po&-
tulates that must be understood. The first is that every phe-
nomenon can be descnbed by a function of time. The second
reing that every function can be y,Ti.tten a sum of oth r func-
tions.
For some, this may be difficult gr< >p. Consider physi
class. Virtually e\'ef)' equation nceming. l ewtonian mechan-
ics is a function of time. They are aU based on distance, \'eb::ity,
acceleration - functions of time. From these equation'>, we get to
the crux of the first postulate. The general_ lUll n to simple
harmonic motion is f(t) = cos(wt + phi) which can be easily
derived from the aforementioned equations. At this point,
there are probably two points disturbing you. The first is that
the equation I gave contains th ca;ine function, not the ine
function. The second being, What the hell does ph " have to
do with life? There is a rather simple explanation to the first
question. If you remember your high school math correctl ,the
cosine function is merely a shifted sine ,"ave. This can also be
explained with my second postulate that 1 will attend to shortly
after answering the second qu tion. If you accept that aLI
physical phenomena can be explained with mathematical ftmc-
tions, is it not conceivable that mental phenomena can be
explained along similar arguments? Let us consider how the
brain and body functions. Thoughts are nothing more than
electronic impulses. Movement and reactions are also electron-
ics impulses. You are merely a collection of atoms and mole-
cules very carefully arranged. There are countless equations
describing electron and photon behaviour. According to cur-
rent theoretical physics, if the position, Velocity, acceleration
and all other pertinent information of every partide in the uni-
verse is known exactly, we can predict the future of the uni-
verse. ow, if this can be done for the entire universe, it can cer-
tainly be done for a single person's life. Of course this is impo&-
sible in practice for many factors, one of which we can thank
Werner Heisenberg of Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle fame.
This problem can ~ easily rectified through appropriate use of
approximations. After all, what is calculus but an exact approx-
imation? Now that you accept that equations can be applied to
life, we can discuss the next postulate.
The second postulate is rather easy to defend. If you are
[II
MedjaServ
INFORMATION ARCHITECTS
Graduating Students Career
familiar with Fourier analysis, this paragraph is trivial and you
may kip to the next. If, howe"er, you are not, I will briefly
e plain using an excerpt from my physics text book:
"[Fourier's] theorem tells us that every elm'e, no matter what is
nature may be, or in what way it was originally obtained, can
be l'xact1y reproduced by superposing a sufficient number of
. imple hannonic curves n in brief, eVeJY curve can be built up
by piling up waves."I This theorem has been accepted since the
~ a r l ) 1800's and has many uses in the modem world. This also
explains the in anomaly previously menti ned.
To lunmarize, eVef)' physical and mental phenomenon can
be explained with mathematical equations. This implies that
they can be written as a um of sine waves. My original state-
ment "Life is a sine wave" should m re correctly be stated as
''Life is an interval of a sinusoidal wave that can be descnbed by
the um of many sine waves." As you can see, it does not have
the same dramatic effect TI1e reason for this convoluted state-
ment is because life is not infinite, you only live for a given
amOtU1t of time. Everyone's life is different and is not an exact
sine wave, but of course, is approximated by a sinusoidal func-
tion.
For those of you who still do not agree with me, forget all the
math and physics. Just take a look around you. Everything is
sinusoidal. The ligl1t which illuminates this paper operates on
AC current, a sinusoidal ftmction. Sound from your speakers is
also a wave. I can roll off example after example, but the best
example would be to look at your own life. We all have our up
times and we all have down times. We go through all these
stages in our life. Why?
Because LIFE IS A SINE WAVE.
ote:
This supersedes the previous theory that tne answer to "Life,
the universe and everything" is 42. (i.e. 7x8=42) previously put
forth by the magnificent Douglas Adams.
1 Halliday, D. et al. Fundamental of Physics. Fourth Edition,
Extendeci Version. Toronto: Wiley Publishing, 1993.
ight
Have some Beer and Pizza with us at the Fi hbowl
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Parlner
Ryan Chambers
FBI Headquarters
Washington, DC
January 14 10-.34 am
Mulder sits reviewing a file in his office when Scully
walks in. She holds a copy of the same file in front of her.
'What's all this about, Mulder?"
'1t seems like a bunch of n v ~ t y students in Canada
were attending a lecture, and then something strange
happened. They all seemed to lose consciousness, then
woke some time later on, with no recollection of what had
just happened."
Scully frowns. "So what happened?"
'Nolxxiy seems to know. That's why we're going."
"Do _you_ have any idea?" Scully asks, sounding slight-
ly skeptical.
'Well, parts of the tudents' accounts are similar to those
of reports given by alien abductees. The loss of time, for
one thing."
Scully gives a wry smile. 'Why would aliens abduct a
whole class? Have they moved from anal probing to
sorority parties in space instead?"
"You sound jealous," Mulder says, returning the smile.
University of Waterloo
Waterloo, ON
January 15 10:02am
Mulder and Scullty are somewhere in Engineering,
interviewing one of the students.
Mulder asks, "So you were in the classroom. Then
what happened?"
The student looks at Mulder, then Scully, then Mulder
again, looking nervous. 'We got here for the start of the
lecture. I took out my pen and started writing what the
" ... Innocence Lost"
Tim Brown
1BMech
Orgasmech
Innermost secrets flow as toffee.
into delicate probing fingers
pursed lips electrically caress
salty sweat driven torso
Long legs christen innocent hands.
And I tremble from inside out.
I could spill you forever.
(A bomb explodes between my ears)
And into a puddle of me.
Superimpose you on my shadow
Sex thrillion miles away.
- Sweet 16
prof was saying. But then I don't know what happened!
The next thing I knew, everyone around me was waking
up ... I didn't know what happened. The professor was
erasing the blackboard ... I was frightened, but I was going
to be late for the next class, so I just packed up and left. A
couple of people made jokes about it on the way, but we
didn't talk about it again."
Mulder frowns. "Do you remember anything? Any-
thin
7"
g. ,
The student just shook his/her [gender withheld] head
and says, "Nothing at all."
Mulder just shakes his head. Then Scully says to the
student, 'Thanks for your help. You can go now." The
student stands up and leaves quickly. Scully then says,
'We've interviewed all of the students, Mulder, and none
of them remember anything.
"I think we should take a look at the room next."
University of Waterloo
Waterloo, ON
January 15 2:09pm
Mulder and Scully walk down the hallway in EL ---J
heading towards the classroom where the group of stu-
dents had lost consciousness. They passed a beggar in the
hallway, saying "Seventy-five dollars ... can anybody spare
seventy-five dollars?" Mulder tosses him some sunflower
seeds.
'This is the room," Scully says as they entered the room.
She looked around the room. Rows of desks and chairs.
A blackboard. An overhead projector. Her analytical
physician's eye could not detect anything out of place.
"Looks pretty ordinary to me."
Mulder nods, but didn't say anything right away. He
looks like he is trying to sense something, but nothing
comes. 'This looks like an ordinary room to me."
"But this is slightly smaller than other rooms. Maybe
there was a gas leak, and they all passed out." Scully looks
to Mulder to a reply.
'No, the doors are always kept open. Besides, the pro-
fessor was not affected at alL" Mulder paces around for a
few seconds, then he turns to Scully and asks "Have you
ever heard of a revenant?"
Scully looks puzzled. "A little. Aren't they supposed. to
be some kind of dead person come back to life?"
'There are stories from Medieval Europe of dead pe0-
ple coming back to life and sustaining their undead exis-
tence off the energy of living people. They had a variety
of tricks enabling them to grab the attention of an audi-
ence, and then slowly suck the life out of them. The
crowd would then go home, and get the feeling that they
were somehow drained of life."
''Mulder, that's ridiculous!" says Scully in her Mulder-
that's-ridiculous voice.
"Maybe. But we should talk to the professor."
Davis Center
Waterloo, ON
January 15 2:17pm
"Is this the place?" Mulder asks Scully, pausing in front
of OC _. Scully nods.
They hear a muffled, "Come in!" from the other side of
the door. Scully and Mulder walk in the door.
"Professor _ ?" Mulder asks.
"That's right. Oh ... you're with the FBI, about the
unconscious students?"
'That's right," Scully says. ''[)o you remember anything
that happened on that day?"
The professor looks a little embarrassed. 'Well I must
admit I don't remember seeing anything. I just started
writing on the board. The class didn't seem any quieter
than usual"
Mulder narrows his eyes, and says in an angry voice,
'What do you mean you didn't see anything!? Thooe stu-
dents happen to fall unoonscious and looe any memory of
time since the beginning of the lecture, and you didn't
notice a thing!? You are hiding the truth!"
Scully cuts in.. 'Mulder! It is a well-documented fact
that when giving a lecture, professors enter a different
mind state, and become focused on their lecture. Their
sensory' perception diminishes, and sometimes even the
most terrific stimuli cannot rouse them from this state!"
The professor nods, looking at Mulder. ''Yes, that is
quite true."
Mulder gives the professor a hard stare, but has no
choice but to agree. 'Let's go, Scully."
South Campus Hall
Waterloo, ON
Januill)' 16 1:23pm
Mulder and Scully are sitting in the Festival Room, eat-
ing lunch. Mulder shakes his head in frustration 'We're
not getting anywhere! What is this stuff, anyway?"
Scully replies, ''Is that the special? It's pork"
A student sitting at their table says, 'No, it's chicken."
Another student sitting at the table says, 'No, it's turkey
tettrazini. "
Scully ignores them. 'What are we doing here, Mul-
der? We haven't got any more leads."
Suddenly they hear the sound of a cell phone ringing.
'Mulder." A few seconds later, he says "Thanks" and
hangs up.
'What is it, Mulder?"
'We're not leaving yet Scully ... another class, a different
one this time, has just woken up, and can't remember the
last forty-four minutes!"
Scully smirks. 'To the batrnobile."
Engineering
Waterloo, ON
Januill)' 16 1:28pm
Mulder and Scully arrive just in time to see a large mob
of students pass by, scurrying for their next class. Mulder
holds up his badge, standing ir1 the path of the stampede
of students. "FBI! Stop! I just have a few questions!" But
the students pay him no heed, and after a few seconds he
is standing alone with Scully in the hallway. "Damn!"
'What do we do now, Mulder?"
'We're going to one of these classes, Scully ... we're going
to see for ourselves."
So, the time has come. Midterms, for the most part,
have come and gone, yet finals still seem to loom far away
on the horizon. You have settled back into your everyday
life and, yes, you are bored! "What to do ... what to do ... ",
you ask, clicking away at the remote control. You realize
that TV is repetitive. Rather, you realize that TV being
repetitive actually bothers you today. You pick up the TV
guide and are confronted by sitcoms and other mindless
drivel. But your mind seeks excitement You search your
CD collection, but realize that it all sounds the same any-
way. Even the internet looks boring. There's no where to
go ... or is there?
If you really want to have some good old fashioned
fun, excitement & adventure, there's plenty for you to do.
If conventional media catch your attention, czech out one
of these:
surgery on the Learning Olannel at 1 am. Juicy brain
goo, fun for alL ..
Funky Squad, 12:50 am (why is it not on the hour??)
on Global. Tuesday nights. Seventies porno music, Aussie
accent fun, czech out Stix's hair!!
Scully frowns, but nods.
Engineering, Room _ _
Watedoo,O
JanUill)' 16 _:-pm
Mulder and Scully sit in a room, preparing to wait
through the lecture to see if they can see for themselves
what happens. ''Scully, you sit in the front, fll sit here in
the back"
Scully at Mulder distastefully. "Mulder, why is it that
you give all the orders? fm not your ubordinate."
Mulder doesn't know what to say. "Alright, Scully, IU
sit up at the front. "
Mulder makes his way up to the front rO\ , then the
second, then the third before finding an empty seat. Scul-
ly sits down at the back and stares off into space, preoccu-
pied. Mulder then looks up at the professor, beginning
the lecture, and waits.
Mulder looks at his watch after what seems like an eter-
nity. 'Ugh. .. only five minutes gone?"
Before long, Mulder gets drowsy, then all turns dark
Suddenly he regains consciousness, but everything is
hazy.
'Mulder!". He hears his name called out. Mulder tries
to look around, but suddenly finds the face of Mr. X star-
ing at him. t\I
'Mulder1 You are in a very dangerous place!"
Mulder tries to blink, but is too disoriented. "But the
students ... what about them?"
"Forget about the students! There is a bigger conspiracy
going on here, Mulder. You've got to find the key, and
expose what's going on!"
Mulder shakes his head. "But we haven't found anything
yet..."
Mr. X considers this. ''In that case, I tell you .. . "
Engineering, Room __
Waterloo, ON
JanUill)' 16 _:_ pm plus 45 minutes.
Suddenly Mulder is awakened by the sound of a com-
motion. Students around him are dazed, but they appear
to be hurrying to leave. ''Scully!'', he calls out. He cannot
see her. ''Scully!''
Mulder pulls out his gun and a flashlight from his
trench coat. He flashlight under some of the
desks, looking for Scully. The professor finishes erasing
Urantia, a new religion. Bare-chested man wearing
Egyptian headgear, aliens & dead spirit chanelling fun.
Spooky ...
http://www.scs.unr.edulhomepagelrorylschwalsclrwa.!tlml
(yes, there really are two 'schwa's). Alien protection fun.
Spend your hard earned money to protect yourself when
ET comes back ..
Although these tasty alternatives to boredom seldom
ail, some of you out there are probably still oying out for
deliverance. So for the more outgoing among you, have
some renl fun ...
have some fun in an elevator. for example, giggle the
whole time while reading a book, especially a phone book
rediscover the wonderful & insightful world crank
phone calls, but this time add panache ... (if you don't don't
know what 'panache' means, you don't have any ... )
head to Taco Bell & dissect a 7 - layer burrito. For
added excitement, try to name those mystery layers ...
Now for the amazing conclusion .. are you ready???
the black board, then leaves the room.
'Mulder! fm over hear!", Scully calls out. She looks
disoriented as well, and tries to stand up. The rest of the
class have left the room.
Mulder rushes over. ''Scully, are you all right?"
Scull nods, ''Yes, TIn fine ... just a little tired."
''Scully, I spoke to Mr. x. .. he told me of the conspiracy
at this University!"
Scully frowns. ''But Mulder, that's ridiculous!"
Mulder says in a raspy voice, ''Scully, listen to me: Co-
op is all a hoax! They get the best and brightest students
to come here, luring them with co-op and th prospect of
a career in technology. But then th y give them all testing
or programming jOOs; and even the ones which get jobs
using the theory they have been forced to learn, the theory
is at such an advanced level that their skills are useless!
And their mind is sapped by eight terms of dreary and
pointless courses, the content of which they will never use
in their professional careers!"
"Mulder, listen to yoursel1 These students are not
coerced into coming here; this university has a good repu-
tation, and sometimes these co-op jobs are the only way to
continue to afford it! Besides, they take courses for a pro-
fession in which they are interested!"
Mulder shakes his head, and almost moans "Interest-
ed!? Scully, obviously you have never taken E&CE 100."
Scully says simply, "Mulder, I t:hinK you've lost your
head."
FBI Headquarters
Washington, DC
Januill)' 17 3:25pm
Scully sits at her typewriter.
"Special Agent Mulder remains convinced of some sort
of nefarious plot, in which the University of Waterloo and
various employers connive to oppress university stu-
dents, but he is at a Joss to provide evidence or even moti-
vation for such a scheme.
'TIle official reason for the unconsciousness of the stu-
dents is faulty pipes, releasing carbon monoxide into the
classrooms; at a level high enough to put them uncon-
scious, but not high enough to kill them. This does not
make sense, as there are no pipes in some of the rooms
affected.
'Since there have been no repeat occurrences since we
have left, the File has been closed, although over Agent
Mulder's objections. As we have other cases, he will have
to put of his search for the truth in this case indefinitely ... "
Tim Brown
1BMech
Orgssmech
RON ARRIOR
ESSCO Olympics
Michael Worry
48 Electrical - Omega Sector
E
SSCO Olympics is an opportunity for Engi-
neers from across Ontario to get together for a
weekend of fun events. This year it was host-
ed by Queen's in Kingston. Friday night delegates
from across Ontario head to AI's Hangar a nice Pub
set aside by two full-size airplanes suspended from
the ceiling. It was still Chris's birthday so there was
much singing and rapid consumption of the golden
beverage. The highlight of the evening was watch-
ing Vanessa and Bill swap bras. Bill's famous quote:
"1 have a new respect for women. I think I threw my
back out getting that bra done up."
Saturday was when all the events took place. Each
team of four was grouped with about four other teams
from different Universities to form design teams that
participated in five different events. 'The first event we
were given paper, tape, paper-dips, etc and each design
team had to produce one plane that would go the fur-
thest This seemed a little too simple, and we asked for
the specifications and rules. "Oh, No Rules," the orga-
nizer said casually. Don't they know who they're deal-
ing with, I thought? Bill just shook his head in disbelief
as I headed out to the Van. By some misfortune I d n t
packed the rocket engines (where's the Van checklist?),
so we created a "demonstration" plane stocked with
fireworks. We lit it with the propane torch and I
remember the Engineer from U of T who was holding
our "plane" asked "How long does the fuse last?" "10
7 STYLES TO
seconds," I replied, "Give or take 10 seconds." At which
point he launched the plane, perfectly timed, as it
exploded with a resounding B(X)M at the peak of it's
arc. I'm not sure if ours went the farthest, but it could
certainly be heard the farthest!
The second event we had to build the highest free-
standing tower out of newspaper and tape. This
involves rolling the newspaper to create reasonably
straight building sticks. Our complete design involved a
large tripod base, with a tapering triangular antenna.
We were aiming for about 40 feet. We'd only got the
base and first section complete when the judge came by
and said "Okay, you've won, move on." But the cre-
ation wasn't complete! So we kept building adding
another two tower sections and about another 10 feet in
height. It wasn't until the judge became annoyed that
we were late for the next event that we .reluctantly
moved on. Truly a good design event.
In the third event we were provided with straws and
pins and asked to build a "machine". The machine
would have two parts, some sort of launching mecha-
nism and some mobile portion. Marks are assigned
based on how far the mobile portion goes. We got the
organizer to agree that we could also make use of any-
thing in the room in our design. At which point we
brought out the bungy cords we'd been carrying. Our
design group actually produced two designs. The
Waterloo structure was a chair upside down with six
bungy cords duct taped in a slingshot fashion. Lying
down, Mitch would brace his feet against the chairs and
I would brace myself on his shoulders to get sufficient
leverage. The rest of Waterloo would brace
the sides. We were quite restrained by the
size of the room, since our mobile portion
(my keys with some straws thrown in to
meet the rules) was still on it's way up
when it slammed into the wall on the far
side of the room! Mitch was happy to learn
that when buried under six leather jackets
the recoil from the bungy cords hurts
much less. <Grin> Our group produced a
second design- we stacked all th tables in
the room into a giant ramp and rolled a
cylindrical straw structure down the
incline. This also produced quite impres-
sive distance results. Our opponents were
also quite creative. They rolled their
machine down a table, out the window,
and into a car that drove away. As I recall,
we got something on the order of 3,850
points for the event. The best team before
us got something around 800!
FED COpy 'UiS r - -
is owned and operofed by I STUOENT LIFE CENtRE, lOWEl/lEVEl
I MON-FRI 80m-80m W 12noon-5pm
The fourth event was building the high-
est structure from playing cards. I think the
organizer had been warned about us by
now. (In the background I could hear the
machine guy next door saying "You may
ONLY use straws and pins in your design.
NOTHING else!") We asked if we could
make use of furniture in the room. She said
no. We asked if we could use duct tape.
She Sc-ud no. We asked if we could bend or
cut notches in the cards. She said no. We
asked if we could make use of the walls or
ceiling. She said no- all we' re allowed is the Federation ot StUdents I 8884567 eJd.6868 __ _
the floor. We asked if we ripped up the floor tiles and
raised the floor a few feet if that would add to the height
of our design. Quite exasperated she said, No, we have
the cards and the floor that's it. No using anything
except the floor and the cards. Hmmm ...
So we sat around and watched this guy who seemed
to know what he was doing build a card tower.
We didn't get to do the fifth event because they ran
out of duct tape. Tn most provinces, I understand that's
grounds for a divorce. I believe the event was a race
where one member from each team lay down on a
table. Other members were provided with duct tape.
The first team to flip the table and have the member
suspended upside down won. Not to miss a chance to
play with duct tape, we brought in our own supply and
duct taped Orris to a pipe. On the ceiling. Ten feet up. It
was kinda neat. We had to build this pyramid out of
tables to reach the pipe, get Ouis to hold on and then
wrap several rolls around him. We even fed him lunch
while he was up there!
The afternoon was a self-guided trivia tour of
Queen's University. We. were provided with a list of
questions and a map and had to run all over campus.
Not bad event, though Mitch and I thought the ques-
tion of "What time does the clock say in the Arena." to
be a little general. Another one that took us a long time
to understand was ''Looking through the lobby, what is
the big blue thing?" After asking EVERYBODY what
the "big blue thing" is, we finally figured out they
meant lake Ontario. ;)
After trivia we retired to the hotel and a large batch
party. Gee I wonder who organized that? Dinner at
Biggs and then off to Clark Hall Pub. At the Pub it was
announced that Waterloo B won ESSCO Olympics 97!!
Wu-hoo! There was much rejoicing! Later in the
evening, I recall setting up these rows of 8 ounce glass-
es, and the waitress saying, "Excuse me, boat racing
isn't allowed here."
"Oh, we're not boatradng," said Bill. "Is it okay if we
drink beer in a bar?"
"Well, yes."
"Is there any rule on how fast people are allowed to
drink their beer in a bar?"
(Hesitantly) "Ummm, No."
"So, hypothetically, if a few people decided of their
own free will to drink their own beer quickly, that'd be
okay?"
(Scratching head.) "I suppose," said the confused
waiter.
"Okay, well we're not boat racing then," concluded
Bill.
It was an okay boatrace. Couple spills on both sides,
but Waterloo won. Both times.
See now most people would figure the weekend was
over at this point, but there was still the drive home.
Chris in his '% Escort and me in my custom '92 Dodge
Caravan. For anybody looking for a historical back-
ground, please refer to rw 596 "The Car People". I
won't go into details for risk of incriminating myself,
but have you ever tried to sticker anotller car while dri-
ving on the 401? Or here's an Engineering challenge-
when shooting another car with a Super Soaker what
do you fill up the water gun with?
- - - - ~ - - -
RON
The Return of
the S.O.T.
Brian Cepuran
1B Comp - Flying Circuits
S
.O . . T.?!? What's that? r never heard of such a
thing, what could it possibly be? SOT... I like
the souri.d of the name though, it's got a nice
ring to it.
For those who do not know what the SOT is, here is
an explanation. The SOT, also known as the Son Of
TOOL, is a forty-eight inch, aluminum pipe wrench
made by the Ridgid Tool company and bearing the
word "RIDGID". It was given unto the frosh of
2001 by the Lady of Columbia Lake, who rose from iis
waters clad in purest duct tape. Also given were the
Daughter Olains, needed to secure the SOT. The SOT
was given to three young men who were part of a
group known only as "2L". It was their honour and
their responsibility to convey the SOT to Eng Soc and
introduce it to all the engineers.
The group 2L took the SOT as its mascot, and was
among the first to welcome it the Eng Scx:. But having
some frash behind it was not enough, the SOT must be
accepted by the Society in general To this end, the con-
veyors brought it to CPH. on fine October morning ...
When the SOT was first conveyed around engineer-
ing, it was met with mixed expressions. There were
those who liked it and congratulated the yowlg men for
the honour which they had received, but felt that
these men were scoundrels and that they were trying to
cheapen the glory of the lOOL Those pcople changed
their minds when told that of course this was not the
TOOL, did they think that three dunl frosh could han-
dle the TOOL in all its glory? Were frosh to touch the
TOOL, would they not be consumed by its glory? They
saw that these yOWlg lads were right, and that the SOT
was a good thing. It would inspire young engineers,
an& .it wt):\,l1tt'terterate good publicity for the one and
only TOOL
So the SOT was carried arOlmd more, and people
began to accept it. It gave its Manifesto, and it began its
mission, to inspire plummers to take pride in the TOOL
by being paraded around campus, posing for pictures,
helping frosh on exams, and of course, hanging out at
POETS - always under the watchful eye of the SOT con-
veyors.
It is alright for all engineers to touch the SOT, for it is
alright that rash convey it, then should not all of Eng
Soc also be allowed to touch it? Why certainly, it would
not be right to do otherwise. It was given into the
hands of these rash to convey it to ALL of Eng Soc, not
just a few lucky people. This was met with cheers and
the SOT became a part of Eng Soc. This was not yet
official, but is was a step in the right direction.
The SOT will soon make its debut to B-Soc,
where it will be irttroduced to another half of
Eng Soc, to plummers who do not yet know
of it. Its mission continues, and the loyal con-
veyors bear their responsibility with pleasure.
Whether or not the SOT will succeed in its
mission is left in the hands of the fine people
ofB-soc.

v
f
11 '. '
Dylan Luhowy
2A EnviroCiv -- Toxic EnvEngers
W
,en you decided that you wanted to
become an engine r, you agreed to take
on enormous responsibilities. Civil s are
responsible for the lives of people who work and
live in the buildings or travel over the bridges that
th y design. hemicals are responsible for insuring
the efficiency of hcmical processes in order to pre:-
serve our reSOur s. Mechanicals keep our indu tri-
al SOCiety in motion. Systems DesigneI are respon-
sible, I guess. Commies are responsibl for making
sure our mlcrochip-controlled toasters will toast our
bread to a delightful golden-brown. Elecs wish they
were in Com. Enviromnentals are responsible for
just about everything, including cleaning up after
the mistakes that aU of you other jokers make. And
in addition to upholding all of these cutesy-wootsy
ideals, you will also have to make money: for you,
your client, and for the government to take away.
So, at the end of the day, you're going to be pooped.
There are some students who do nothing but study,
except go to class, and watch Japanese cartoons. (Okay,
til Y don't all go to class.) These people may be gettin.g
to deeply Wld rstand v t r sp , but th. y r n't
practidng to become engineers. There aren't any text-
books on life. They would be too expensive and far too
heavy to carry around. Even Complementary Studies
Electives don't teach you how to rollerblade, play
squash, or sell an idea to your colleagues. A good engi-
neer has to understand not only the world around him,
but also has to understand himself, and how he fits into
the world ("he" is neutral, of course). He can then
decide things like whether he has the expertise to take
on a particular project, or if he is making subjective
assumptions in solving a problem. He will be willing
to cldmit his <md 10 point Olllll1l' of
other!i. J it' will "lso bl' Opl'l1 10 nl v,, Idl .... S, .lnd nol
afmid to kl'l'P Il .. ,mll1g. 11 of tll things .m' jllst .IS
important ,1"1 thl'l X'hnk"ll knowk'tigl' th.lt we .11\' gail1
ing, so you h.1vt' to t,lkl' tht' lime to let oun,clf gmw.
l1lis kind of growth both during ,1I1d aft 'r
reguku' school hOlils. A lot of it lakes plJl\l when you
aren't acting in you!' prof'ssional capacity, but just
entL'rk .. ining 1hat's when you I(,elm wh,lt you
like, which tdls YOll a lot "bout who you arc. II also
gives a resllo tile bmin t1ult you lISC 10 figun.' out
the eosim' of-5/6. I3cyond that, it may I 'acl .. you whelt
it's like to lose, how it fl'('l<; to mnke a nia' big s()cidl f,1UX
pas, and introdl.lc(' you to new p('Ople who haw no
idea what a Taylor sclies is. You can't be afraid In mdl<c
mistak(.'S. If you're in your twenties and you've got
everything figun.>d out, then you've got S('riou!i prol,..
lerns.
We're human after all. n,e human mind wasn't
desigl1f.'CI for this kind of abuse. It's not going to be ilny
easier when wc're out of here and doing real, important
work (well, it's possible), so you should be training
YOUISelf to have fun. Don't Jet all of that responsibility
chain you to your til', unlCS'> you use it to store your
golf scores.
RON
A History of the Crest
by Paul Meyer
4A Civil
[This article originally appeared in the Iran
Warrior, Ncroember 13,1987]
Y
Ou've seen it in the trophy case,
you've got one on your binder,
you may even have seen the
one stuck on the Mackinac Straits
Bridge (south end, near where the
main cable is anchored). Of course,
I'm talking about the world famous
Eng Soc Crest. As you may remem-
per from reading "THE BOOK",
(sometimes referred to as the Eng Soc
Handbook): "the crest was not
designed by mortal man, but was
shown in a vision to an ordinary
plummer by
mE TOOL itself,
while this plum-
mer was under
the influence of
the Blessed Brew.
He immediately '"
sketched it on a
cocktail napkin ...
and the rest is
history."
Actually, like all
hollowed myths,
this story is most-
ly true. The first documented appear-
ance (after the aforementioned' cocktail
napkin) of the crest was in early 1968,
after some considerable competition
among various plummers throughout
1967. The first appearance of THE
TOOL wasn't until October 5, 1968
where it was presented at the Semi-for-
mal. However, proof that some divine
intervention was acting can be seen in
the fact that the first appearance of the
If you're always on the go take us with you.
A pager from Bell Mobility is the easy and affordable
way to stay In the loop.
Bell Mobility
crest occurred while the members of 'A- adherance to the colours of the universi-
Soc' were on campus. ty. As you mayor may not know, the
As far as the Iron Warrior's team of colours of the Engineering Society, the
historians has been able to ascertain, the university, the City of Waterloo and Sea-
first detailed drawing gram's Distillery are all Black, White and
(with dimensions and Gold. Fortunately, the best colour com-
colours specified) of the bination was chosen in the end.
crest was produced by Unfortunately, it appears that some
one Veikko J. Kuronen politics entered into the final design of
on the 28th of Febru- the crest, as it is clearly stated that the
ary, 1968. For reasons order of the symbols (from front to back)
which are somewhat should be Electrical, Civil, Chemical and
obscure, all of the Mechanical. This probably had some-
dimensions are speci- thing to do with the fact that, at the time,
fied in an ancient mys- Electricalc; weren't the overeducated, jol:r
tical system of mea- hungry types they are now, and were
surement This system involved in the Engineering Society, par-
was used as its basis a ticularly the Crest Committee.
unit represented by the a quotation It has been proposed that the bottom
mark (") which was referred to as the pointof the lightning bold be moved to
'inch'. It appears that this inch was equal tuck in behind the gear, which would
in length to 25.4 millimeters. Even more nicely weave all of the symbols together,
obscure is the notation whereby dimen- leaving none in front of, or behind the
sions are specified using fractions. others. On the other hand, it has also
(Honest!) Thus, the eyepiece of the tran- been proposed that a microcomputer be
sit symbol on the crest is listed as having put in back of the other symbols, so
a height ofl/16". 11/1& "'. maybe it's better to
Despite what ' .." . 7,,, leave well enough
you may have 1_ " - - - alone.
read in the hand- You can get your
book, only four of very own copy of the
the branches of crest for the unbeliev-
Engineering are
represen ted on
the crest. The
transit represents
Civil, the gear
Mechanical, the
test tube Chemical
and the lightning ",
bolt Electrical. These were the only
types of Engineering taught at the
school at the time, and subsequent
claims by the Systems Design and Ge0-
logical people are largely their own fan-
tasies. This is not to say the "the hanna-
nious visual interaction of the the other
symbols" can't represent Systems
Design, just that this wasn't part of the
original intenl
In fact, the grey background (which
the Gees claim represents granite) was
the subject of much discussion. Mr.
Kuronen recommended that the back-
ground be yellow, to enhance the visibil-
ity of the lettering. Apparently, the orig-
inal versions of the crest were to be
stitched, and the contrast between the
gray and black threads was not very
good. The yellow background was also
thought to "go better" with the old yel-
low University jackets.
Another colour proposal involved
making the liquid in the test tube blue,
but this would have destroyed the basic
9.1H,
ably low price of 3 for
$1.00 from the Orifice.
[In the last ten years the
price has gane up to 1 for
$1.00 - Ed.] They are
available in two types,
the kind you stick on
the inside of your rear
car window and the kind you stick
everywhere else. As mentioned earlier,
there's one on the Mackinac Bridge, as
well as just about every bar, bus, rosh,
and building that Waterloo engineers
have helped decorate.
Flash yours!

oe
pres "'spew
there's lots of work to
be don , and e eryon
in the Cla of 9 can
get in olved. There is
so many things that
n d to be done that
Well we've finally made it through midterms. Since
we've all been actually studying the past few weeks,
nothing much has happened since the last IW came
out So, to fill space, rn write about stuff that's coming
up. However, there has been a few things that have
happened that I should mention
To start with, congratulations are due to our two
concrete toboggan teams, Snow Fear and Snow War-
rior, for coming in first and third place respectively in
the competition Their hard work and dedication paid
off up in Ottawa the weekend of February 5 to 9 as
teams from across Canada and the U.S. competed in
the Great Northern Concrete Toboggan Race. Once
again Waterloo showed the rest of the schools who's
the best. If you want to read more about the race, check
out the front page of the UW Gazette of February
1997. There's an article about the race and Waterloo's
accomplishment. Once again, congratulations to the
two teams for their excellent shOwing at this years race.
If you hear a constant clinking noise around you and
don't know what it is, don't panic. It's probably just all
the graduating engineeriItg students clinking their
newly acquired Iron Rings on just about anything that
will make noise. The engineering students attended
the "Kipling Ceremony" yesterday afternoon, followed
by a very interesting party yesterday evening. Need-
less to say, it seemed like everyone was glad to have
their Iron Rings. The next party is Grad Ball, March 8
at the Waterloo Inn
On the subject of Iron Rings and graduating, Grad-
Comm 1998 needs to be fonned. If you are interested
in getting involved in the Graduation Committee, then
keep your eyes open for posters about an introductory
meeting to be held sometime in March. No matter
what you want to do with GradComm, from being
chair to helping organize Grad Ball to fund raising,
you can put in as much or as little time as you want. So
keep on the lookout for our meeting in March. If you
have any questions about GradComm, e-mail me at
eng-J'rez@novice.
High School Shadow Day is coming up next Tues-
day and Wednesday, March 4 and 5. If you are inter-
ested in having a high school student join you in your
daily duties, then sign up quick in the Orifice. It's a lot
of fun and it's a good way of getting high school stu-
dents interested in our program.
If High School students are too old for you, then you
can help out with Explorations 97. Explorations is a
program where children in
grades 5, 6, 7, and 8 come out and
get a tour of Engineering and get
some demonstrations on the
kinds of things we do around
here. If you're interested in being
a tour guide for that, e-mail me at
and I'll pass
some info on to you. It's lots of
fun and you get a free t-shirt and
food out of it, so come out and
show off your school! Along the
same lines, Campus Day is Tues-
day March 11. It's kind of the
same idea as Explorations, except
it's aimed at students in grades 11
to 13. The purpose of Campus Day is to help them
decide what universities they may want to apply to in
the next year or so. Again, we love to show off our
school so come out and help us do it
Tal-Eng is coming up March 13 at Fed Hall. If you
want to be an act on the stage, then com g t an appli-
cation fonn in the Orifice. Tal-Eng is a great time v ry
tenn and this term, much like la t tenn, it's FREE! So
e ws
mark off March 13 on your calendar. It's going to be a
blast! By th wa , if Y u haven't heard, in the Fed Hall
referendum, both questi ns were voted. Yes by a major-
ity, so you'll have an extra $S on your tuition statement
for th F97, W98 and S98 terms, only for the terms
which you are on campus for. Th.is money will help go
towards buying much needed n w furnitu.re, carpeting
and a sound system.
If you are interested in getting involved in Frosh
Week, then get your butt to the Orifice and pick up an
application. Applications for Huges and Ed om are
due back TODAY! Interviews for EdCom are next
Tuesday, and interviews for Huges are next Wednes-
day. If you want to be a big brother / sister, or a volun-
teer, photographer, or videographer, th n hurry up
and get your application in soon, but don't worry
because you have until the end of the term to sign up
for that stuff. Frosh Week is the first thing a new Engi-
neering stu-
dent at this
chool does,
so get
involved and
help make it
an awesome
week for the
Oass of 2002.
That's about
al1 r have to
our next
Council Meet-
ing is coming
up on March 12 at 5:30 somewhere. Keep your eyes on
the lookout for posters saying where. If you have any
questions on anything I've been babbling about, please
feel free to stop me in the hall or e-mail me at
eng-J'rez@novice. Please do not call me at home at 3 in
lhe morning. 1 don'tlikc th ... l. T" T.l J 'or Now!

H
i! My midterms are done. I'm FREE!!
Okay so you want to know what's up and
what I'm doing. Well, here's the scoop.
Since I last talked to you I realized that my last
spew, while informative, was very boring and per-
haps a little wordy. Kinda like that sentence. So
I'm going to try and make this one humourous and
less wordy. For the last week I've been locked
away in a little room being tortured by such things
as the Damn Kooler Number and Mass transfer in
general. No it wasn't a washroom; I was studying
A
ttention ali, this edition of the WEEF SPEW
is now in session!
Th first thing I'd like to mention is that the propos-
als deadline, which was F b. 28, has been pushed back
to March 4. This delay is due to th midterin crunch,
which doesn't Ild for most people until February 28. I
have sent out forms to all the department offices, and
all classes received a copy in th ir mailbox in the orifice.
If you are interested in making a proposal and don't
have a fonn, please drop by the WEEF office, and we
will be sure to get you a copy. The prevention meeting
will be on March 13 at 5:00 in OCl302. The Funding
oe
for a course. So know I have time to
do the important thngs that needed
to be done last week. School is more
important you know.
March 1st through 8th is National Engi-
neering Week (NEW). I am hoping.to
plan several events for this Canadian Council of
Professional Engineers Event. Okay here's where it
gets boring 'cause I have to tell you who the CCPE is.
The CCPE is the organization which is in charge of the
Engineering Profession throughout Canada. They're
the people who decided that the amount of time to
get your P.Eng should be changed from three to
four years. Every year there is NEW. Every year
Engineers across Canada celebrate NEW. Every
year we tend to forget about it and just continue on
in our constant study /party way. But not this year.
This year we are going to do something. Well actu-
ally we have in the past but everyone seems to for-
get that we did.
So what are we doing? Well, on the first of
March it will hopefully be something for Habitat for
Humanity. Of course this will require that I phone
them this week, but studying was more important
up to this point. Damn, I never thought I'd hear
myself say that. More info will be posted.
Second there is Shadow Days, March 4th and 5th.
This is where some high school student get to fol-
low you around for the day.
Just a note to those of us who are graduating in a
year. March 6th is going to be the 365 +/- 7 to 11
days till ms. Now officially this isn't even close to
365 but we've got to start somewhere.
Council meeting will be March 20 at 5:30 in DC2577.
There will be $50,000 available for funding. The
$50,000 will be allocated to proposals designed to
improve the quality of undergraduate engineering at
Waterloo. In the past, these have included Watstar
upgrades, lab equipment purchases, and support for
student projects such as the Concrete Toboggan, Mid-
night Sun, etc.... However, not all proposals lie within
the mandate of WEEF. For example, we cannot fund
non-roucation related items (Sorry, we can't pay for a
new amp. for POETS), nor can we fund projects that
should be funded through other sources (eg. repainting
DC, or paying for a professor's time).
In regards to the $l00,CXX) special funding decision,
several things are currently happening. On
Feb. 24, I will be meeting (will have met by the
time you read this) with the department chairs
(or their representatives) to inform them of the
format for submitting proposals for this deci-
sion. It is a multi-stage system, which involves
students on almost every level. Within the next
couple of weeks, we will be holding a similar
session for students, so that we can make pro-
posals as well, but also to indicate how studllts
e ws
Fourth there will be a dis-
play setup in a local mall to promote Engineering.
ESQ will be out with us so come on out. Again I will
get everything arranged this week.
Finally I want to say congrats to all the people get-
ting their rings this week. I really wish I could be
there with you. In fact, thinking back on it that failing
thing was kinda &hitty. Oh well ..
Anyway this one wasn't that long But it certainly
was boring. Come say hi anytime. Really I'm a nice
guy.
John Faber
can get involved in what departments propose. Please
talk to me or your WEEF rep if you have any questions.
As usual, I am very eager to hear what you have to
say! Email me at endowment@helix, or leave a note in
our box in the orifice.
Cheers,
Keith Parker

VPFinance
H
there campers ... It's gonna be a bright,
sunny day out there today ... O.K. perhaps,
have lost my mind a little but it's during
midterms and creativity demonstrated above helps
out on midterms. So then, what events have
occurred recently in the financial world.
First of all, I would like to thank. my finance director
for baring a good portion of the load allowing me to
further EngSoc continuity and long-tenn financial deci-
sions. Our time has been spent ensuring director and
. all external company checks are done each Thursday
by 2 p.m. In addition, the charity information has been
sent off and a decision will take up to two months.
However, included in the package sent were the
numerous articles indicating how the Engineering Soci-
ety has contributed to the well-being of some part of
the community through a charity cause.
In addition, CSf remittance for EngSoc is being han-
dled soon, orifice renovations, a second computer will
be purchased, and tracking down account receivables
A
midst the piles of textbooks, hoards of notes
and pots of coffee, I am writing this on
Valentines Day morning. What a bummer
way to spend a valentines day ..... studying! I hope
everyone else is having a good day, though! Thank-
you to everyone who bought Valentine-o-grarns to
support the Heart and Stroke Foundation and a
huge thanks to the Charity directors for organizing
oc
are all tasks that are on the go currently. The nev,' cor-
porate manager tasks and CPH foyer renovations arc
also keeping me busy.
The CCES '% finances are coming along and a CST
remittance should be done in the n ar future.
I have had the opportunity to attend both the ESS-
COlympics and OEC '97 representing the ESSCO
exec and Waterloo "B" at each respectivel . The ESS-
CQlympics was a good time and was won by Water-
loo "B", which makes twice in the last three years.
That Waterloo has won the award the last three con-
secutive years has something to do with SCUNT, I
think. While on that note, there have been some
rumors that Waterloo would be bidding to get ESS-
COlympics '98. SCUNT and ESSCOlympics would
then be octtming at the same time .. hmmm!!!
OEC '97 was invigorating. I teamed up with my
brother, Michael Worry, in the Parliamentary debat-
ing category. After a total of six debates, the place-
ments were decided and for the first time in a while
Waterloo beat Queen's in debating as Waterloo "A"
was victorious. In addition, Waterloo "B", mike and I,
came third. However, the most capturing moment of
the entire weekend as the closing banquet when all of
the awards were being handed out. It seemed as
though Waterloo was being called alternating between
two or three other schools.ln total, Waterloo came back
with 8 out of 22 possible awards which is a great
achievement due to the number pf schools competing.
On a closing note, I have always been trying to
become a better person and have realized that a self-
e ws
evaluation is not only biased but extremely difficult.
Therefore, a suggestion box on how to improve myself
and/ or the finances of the EngSoc can now be found
on my desk in the Orifice. Please take the time to put in
suggestions so that I can become the successful person
that I desire to be.
That's it from the financial and personal life 0 ay.
Hope that everyone can come to the party that I will be
hosting on my Caribbean island.
Jason Worry
them' (those chocolate hearts were V n tern a 1
yummy ... I even got a heart candy that ............ -
said "Fax me ...... hmrrunmmm). p ew
There are a lot of things coming up this month " funky 'r -shirt I
and in march, two of which arc Shadow Day and R e \. y C i i n ~
Explorations '97. There is a great article in th last lW llpd.1h.': em invl'll-
on Shadow day but, in a nutshell, it involves having a to!'y h<ll> now lx'l'n t,lkl'n of all Lht' bllll'
high-school student who is interested in engin ring at boxes that exist in the cngin ~ r i l 1 g bUIlding!! (thank., to
Waterloo "shadow" you for the day. I did it last year, th keen recycling 1'L>pS and dirt'dol'S last sunday nftcr-
and it was lots of tim. It's amazing how many miscon- noon .... ). Please kc 'P them tidy i'lnd pi, cc only Ct ns
ceptions students have about engineering (such as "Do and bottles in them. alld .... thert' is" pap<'r recycling box
you ever get time to go out and sodalize .... ever?") and' (white) besid th 1 photocopier in the Orifice. Plcao;c
this is a great opportunity to clear those up! The shad- note that the red and white Xerox pac\Q1gL'S that th '
ow directors are looking for people to be "Shadowees" paper mcs in cannot be put in thi'l box. It will be I'L'C)'-
so either talk to your class reps or sign up in the Orifice. cled with th coloured paper if you place it in th bin
Next on the list is Explorations '97 coming up on opposit the copiers.
March 8th. This is a program which invites middle Also, keep a look-out for n w novelties in th Orifi ~
school students and their parents to experience engi- National Engin >ring Week (N.E.w.) in the first week
neering at Waterloo for a day. Each department sets of March and M.O.T(Midd]cOfTcrm pub) t.b.a.
up a demonstration/display and the visitors tour
around. Sign up sheets will soon be floating around for
tour guides -we need lots of them! I can't stress the
importance of this day enough ..... .hundreds and hun-
dreds of people attend this event and it is crucial that
we promote engineering at Waterloo in full force.
Keep'Your eyes peeled for sign up sheets, you even get
Good luck on midterms!
Kim Whitear
J .... ,