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19 November, 1993
Waterloo, Ontario
_. I-< p.. SCOOp of the
] g!E Century!
~ ?-c ~ Intelligent
C'j (J) 0
~ ~ t; Humour Found
~ ] ~ Alive and Well in
~ U Q Florida!
Fuck Democracy; Do As I Say!
(The Election Issue)
Marc !!T<laster" RisdaJe
Kim "Tequila P one Booth" Farwell
Layout and New Darts King
Andrew "Hand Blender" Chan
Offenses
COlin ' Waffle Iron" Young
Darkroom Troll
Scott "Ice Crusher" Chandler
Advertising God
Greg 'Can Opener" Yardley
Pretty Pictures
Tracey "Juicer" Bellehumeur
Not the Arts Correspondent
Heather "Garburator" Haallaldsroo
Former Darts Champ
Chris "Mini Vae Debrusk
Big Bag O'Wrfters
Steve "Cheese Slicer" Codrington
Colin ''G'insu Knife" Hung
Kim "Chocolate Dicer" Jones
WEEF "Percolator" Morton
Marlin "Trifle Bowls" Zagorsek
Mike Pass mayer
Dan "Air Popper" Kleswetter
Amy Alfred
Anne Bridgeman
Alison Pearse
KevIn Wrfght
Amy McCleverty
Claire Anderson
Greg Carll
Kevin Perry
Peter Roschke
Dave Thompson
Liz Peace
Miles Sherman
Indy
Prof. H.W. Kerr
Tophe
Chris Williams
Trevor Ball
Dave Hitchcock
Apolo.a1ttt
Last ISsue, we failed to cr9dlt LIsa
Dusseault with the authorship of
"Krole."
The Iron W8Irioris a forum tor thought provoking and
Inlormatill8 arlicles pr_oted by the QC8(Jemlc commu-
nity of the Unlll8ralty of WaterlOo. View. e"Prfued In
The IfOI'I WII(rlor are those ol th& euthort and do IlOl
nf)C8ssatlly refiflO1 the opinions ot the Engtn8!Wing SocI-
ety.
The Iron Warrior enCOUrfge$ aubmlselona from ltV-
deIlts. faculty and othor momber8 of the unlvorslty oom-
munlly. Submissions should reflect the concerns and
intetl9Cluai standards ollho universHy In gen8f8I, and
Should be typewriHon on a Macintosh or M!l-OOS ;) ,/2'
dis!<. The outho(s name, claa.. (llapp1icable) and phono
number Should be IncllJded.
Aif submIssions. unles. otherwise slated. bf)COme
tho property of ThelfOl'l Warrfor. which r1l')8I\Ie& the right
to reluStl publlcaUon of matena! which II deems
able. The Iron Warrfor also reserves the rlghlto edit
grammar, spelling and portions 01 10)1\ that do not meet
university standards. Authort will be notified of any
major changos Ihat may be required.
10 :
All submissions and advertlslng should be forwarded
The fron Warrior
Engineering SocIOly
CPH 1327
Unlversoty 01 WatElf100
Waterloo, Onlario
N2L3GI
Phon.: (519) 888-4762
FAx: ISI9)
E-mell: lwarrlor@I302.watatar.uwalertoo.ca
The Iron Warrior is published using
QuarkXPRESS on a Macinlrsh llsi

--- ...
THE END OF THE UPCHUCK!
I fear the end is here. This is my last opportuni-
ty to write to you as president. The next time you
read the Iron Warrior my role as President will be
oomplele. I realize that this role is not one of
worldly importanre, but it has meant a great deal
to me in the past sixteen months.
I've failed, fouled, fried, hustled, schemed,
tried, laughed, danred and cried. I realize that I
did not accomplish all that I wanted to, but I feel
some sense of accomplishment for the things that
have gone well.
On the day this paper is published,the Eng Soc
Elections Campaign will be one week old. I
would like to ask that evel)'one not only review
the campaigns of tOO3e involved, but vote, and
get your entire class to vote.
I would like to thank all the candidates for
steppingfOIward to serve theSociety. You are a
brave and courageous (maybe crazy) bunch for
wanting to do so.
In of executive positions, I will say,
with all honesty, that this position has not low-
ered my marks at all. As Rob McGeachy likes to
say: "when you get busy, you stay busy." How-
ever, this statement isn't as impressive when read
next to my transcript My marks have never been
great, but I'll take a 'B' and a life any day. The ex-
periences this position has presented have been
outstanding and rare.
PAUL PLUMMER NOMINATIONS
I will be ao:epting nomina tions for Eng Soc's
highest award, the Paul Plummer Award from
now until December 1. The award is named after
Paul Harlick, an active member who met an un-
timely death. The award recognizes outstanding
Eng Soc partidpation over the recipient's years at
UW. Please Email me at SBCODRlN@CIVIL.
Read about it on your watstar acounl
FROSH SURVEY
Stephan Schwweighofer et al. have assembled
a survey to solid t the froshs' opinion of Frooh
week. It's a simple ronrept that's long overdue.
For a long time I've wondered how well we
have served the needs of the first year students in
our introductory week; soon we shall all know.
The SUlVcy was initiated at the last Eng Soc
meeting and will be ready fordistnbution shortly.
The sUJVCY will consist of approximately five
questions to be tabulated. by compu Ier (in a for-
mat similar to course critiques). The survey will
be taking place during one of the first year labs (a
second reason to attend your labs fresh - OK,
maybe the first ... )
The SUlVey will be reviewed by two facul ty
members, by request of the Dean before distribu-
tion. I would like to wish Schwag (and whomev-
er) the best ofluck and thank him (them) in
advance for a job well done.
KEEP THE POLICY MANUAL REVISIONS COMING
'Smiling' Jackie Dragert red note: Eduxm1s?]
would like to thank all those that have submitted
manual revisions. Several revisions are still out-
standing and should be rompleted shortly. All
directon; should give the manual a read in the
next few days. See Betty in the Orifice for details.
A CHEESY THANK You
I would not dare to ever use my position as
President to pedal cheESe. I will however take
this time to thank all those that have been sup-
porting the ooncrete toboggan cheese furrlraiser.
IX>n't forget to pick up your cheese in the Ovil
Engireering Study Room on
November 2h, 1933. I'll
spare everyone from a bla-
tant barllecue plug for this
thursdays ooncrete tobog-
gan barllecue, but I would
like it to be krown that you
can get great sausage for
under $201.
EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITY
WITHIN ENG Soc
r am presently working
on a program to employ one
oo-op student part time with
the Engineering Society.
My plan in to seek back-
ingfromboth the Dean'sOf-
fice and Co-op. The position
would comprise one half of
the work week working on
projects for Eng Soc and one
half working for someone else on campus.
The program would actually be anopportuni-
ty for society members to complete projects the
present exocu tives (A&B) approve. Eligtble can-
didates would be Engineering Society students
familiar with the operations of Eng Soc. The can-
didates oould be reviewed by the Presidents of
both Societies, the Thml and rmm
If an individual is selede:i by this committee
they oould approach Profs for part time research
asc;istanceeb:.
This program is far from finalized. At this
point I have discus5ed it atone Eng Soc meeting,
with the Dean and with various Eng Soc mem-
bers. Please approach me with any suggestions
and concerns you may have with such a position
(please Email me@SBCODRlN@OVlL).
ENG SOC WATSTAR CONNECTIONS????
Eng Soc has a friend in the services of Colin
Cambell, Watstar Superhero. Colin has ap-
proached me with some great ideas and has real-
ly gone out of his way to help us. I realize there
are othen; involved here, but Colin really does
look after us. Keep an eye on the Watstar-Eng
Soc Connections in the future. Next time your in
the WatstarConsultingOffice,say Hi,and thanks
to Colin.
HOMECOMING WEEKEND
Wha t a Thank you to those responsible
for a great weekend. Personal highlights of the
weekend induded yet anothergrea t speech from
Dr James IX>wney at the Beer Tasting Event on
Saturday night, and the revival of the UWPreci-
sion Briefcase Drill (PBD) Team During half time
at the baskelball game on Saturday Night, several
members of 2A and 2B
Gvi1(Stressed) lead by Crazy Hank marched
their way into history. The briefcases were pol-
ished, the drills were precise and the symbolism
was heart wrenching! Congratulations!
The beer tasting event was interesting. I have
one oomplaint however: Is it fair to judge a beer
from a 2 oz sample?
The event was hosted by the Canadian Beer
author, Jamie MacKinnon. Mr Mackinon told a
great story of an American Brewmasler who sent
a sample of his prod uct to be sampled by a fa-
mous Gennan beer laboratory (that's what I call a
workplace). The sample was returned promptly
with a roncise evalua-
tion. The report read
"We are sony to tell
you, your horse has
diabetes."
Nine of Ontarios'
micro breweries were
represented. My per-
sonal favourites were:
Wellington County
Ale, Upper Canada
Dark Ale and Eisbock
of the Niagara Falls
Brewing Company.
Sadly enough,
Jamie was not im-
pressed With our
cheer: Beer is the cen-
ter of everything ....
He'll probably steel it
for his next book any-
, ..- '"
'-
', Imprint News
, needsyou ..
As the term end draws nigh. and exams to
pile uP. please don't forget about us poor soles '.
slugging away at writing the news. just for yoU.
t1ey. here's an Idea, why don-1' you come down
and help us out? You could write a news story do
some research, type, layout, SJiVe us a great news
tlP..... , .
.. ". ..... " ........ " ..... , .. ,.."' ............... '
.,. .,. "r .. " _._ ' .. w.............. ," .'111:.. '" .......... .,........ ........ "'" ..... I
way.
ANNOYING TURNKEY GUY
TIUs section of my spew has been written for
two weeks. BFD [ed n ote: Big Fucking Deal?L I
am. on my way home from a pointless discussion
with a 'turnkey desk, physics grad student, anti-
establishment, unrealistic, flake.' TIUs'plug start-
ed a two and a half hour argument with me by
stating that Engineering was bad because it re-
stricted students to selErl their electives from such
a narrow minded list of CSE's.
My first reaction is: "Bite me!" But no, I justify
his cracker jack, pre packaged opinion with a re-
sponse.
Lets say DICK had the opinion that Engineer-
ing was an evil place to spend five years (he prob-
ably was denied admission). This opinion was
based on the fact that DICK knew three people
that could not take the courses that they wanted
for electives. DICK was furthermore offended by
Engineering's suggestion that studio oourses are
unadvised. DICK is apparently another pseudo
anti-establishment weeny as he takes advisement
as GospeL I know a lot of strong people who go
against advisement. Some for the better, some for
the worse.
DICK feels that regardless of oourse selection
anyone should be able to call themselves an Engi-
neer if they took the required fifteen oourses, he
said fifteen - maybe a systems degree but.... .. Get
a grip DICK! I spent the next two hours trying to
explain to DICK why it's not important that toast-
ers are certified by philosophers, highway sys-
tems designed by finger painters, or that Com
Flakes undergo a quality assurance program de-
veloped by people who feel rather than think. So-
dety relies on Engineers to rome through with
the gcx:xis!
I feel that cultural pursuits are my personal re-
sponsibility. I do not, in fact, welcome a grade
being associated with my interpretation of partic-
ular examples of artistic mediums. In my opin-
ion, anybody that relied on a transcript stating
that they were cul lured is missing the point
Upon picking DICK'S brain for intelligent ma t-
Ier, I stumbled upon the following roncepts:
Why should students be expected to contribute
back to the society that pays their tuition?
Why should the Engineering Faculty decide
what constitutes an Engineering Degree?
Common dinner fish, and
how to Identify Them
#1: The Sole
;., . ,. \ Ju
1
UNIVERSITY OF WATERLOO
PLANT OPERATIONS
ENERGY MANAGEMENT
Amy Alfred
duding hallways and washrooms on an
Hammer and Screw
experimental 00sis. Energy efficient ballasts
led note: Com and Cheez)
and EXIT signs are being installed through-
[ed2 note: and more Com)
out the buildings as funding permits.
INTERNAL AIR QUALITY
AS part of my work term with Bell The in the return air of many lee-
Canada I had an opportunity to in- ture theatres are monitored in onier to r0n-
vestigate the eregy management trol the dampers for outside air. The
program right here at UW and trought amount of outside air entering the system
you might be interested. (outside air requires more energy to condi-
BACKGROUND tion) is set acoording to the room require-
An energy conservation program has ments based on total This system is
been in place sir.-:e 1m. The university is used for all dedicated classrooms with ded-
using 33% less energy than the base year icated fans.
(1m) and is the most energy efficient uni- HYDRO
versity in Canada by square feet based on All Hydro meters are duplicated with a
annual berrluna.rking. University of Waterloo meter to ensure ac-
The university has 4 700 233 gross ruracy. The university uses approximately
square feet of buildings, and the ca?lcity to $ 300 (XX) per month of electricity. The
generate 6 (XX) tons of air conditioning chillers are used at night to supercool the
(equivalent of making 6 (XX) tons of ice) per buildings when the Hydro demand is re-
day. duced.
CONTROLS Hydro costs are based on consumption
A Landis and Gyr energy management and demand. Desired set points for maxi-
system is employed throughout the uni- mum hydro load are calrulated and com-
versity, constantly monitored by computer, ?lred with the actual hydro load as
and controlled at the Central Plant T em- monitored. When the actual load ap-
perature, some lighting proaches 95% of the desired load an alann
and total hydro consumption for each is triggered and attempts to reduce the
building are moni tored and controlled. The load in that location are undertaken. Load
control system can trend any point to de- reduction attempts to bring the building
velop histories for analysis. The oontrol sys- back under 90% of the allowed load.
tern is programmed based on the room . Everyone in plant operation; is involved
schedules. in an effort to continuously improve ener-
LIGHTING gy management activities on behalf of the
Occupancy sensoIS which control light- university Iaculty and students.
ing are being utilized in low-traffic areas in-
LIFE, OTHING
and WHATEVER
Miles
ICK, TICK, TICK
Tune passes, sometimes at the ?lce of a
tortoise, bu t usually it seems that the speed
of light is a more accurate measure. I put
down my bowl of Cheerios (Honey-nut)
and lean back in my chair. Almost two and
a half months have paS'led by since the first
day of classes and 1've accomplished noth-
ing of real Significance. I'd place a good
wager that there are a good many out there
in a similar boat Sure, sweat has dripped
on a few mid-terms, projects and labs have
been completed with no time to s?lTe,
maybe even a job has been secured for the
winter or summer (here's to 4th years), but
the world keeps turning, days continue
passing and situations remain relatively
unchanged.
If you're not careful, life by and
you haven't even enjoyed the ride. It is a
sincere, personal belief of mine that we are
placed on this planet, within this vast uni-
verse, to accomplish something. For some
this may mean securing that all important
job and earning six figures by the age of
thirty. For others, a more idealistic view is
upheld: serve mankind in some facet or
other. Aspirations are fantastic! They sup-
ply us with the fuel to keep the kettles
burning. Without some focus, there doesn't
seem much pointto anything. Even if goals
are transfonned or modified over the
years, it is import ant to decide what you
want out of life and as one retailer tells us:
"Just IX> Itf"
My dedsion to attend U of W was rather
spontaneous. I was completing the final
year of CEGEP (i.e. grade twelve and thir-
teen for the ROC) and I knew three things:
I was profident in the sciences, the sight of
blood turned my stomach and I enjoyed
the finer things in life (i.e. money). Medi-
cine and the Health Sciences were out and
pure research was not an option (m). En-
gineering seemed a logical step. I had,
however, the traveling bug and Europe
was on my agenda for the next year or so.
My parents tero to be slightly overly prcr
lective and were not to pleased at the
prospect of their eldest flying across the At-
lantic without the slightest concern for his
future. A deal was struck: Europe was a go,
but I had to apply to University for the
coming fall semester.
Being a rather bright lad, I developed a
plan so I could travel for as long a period as
I so desired. I decided to apply to only one
university: the best university for the pr0-
gram to which I held an interest I would
never be aa:epted.1 did not know a single
person at U ofW and had never seen the
campus, but what the hell, you only live
once.
lca11 myparentsinJWle ;
"Arrange a flight back to Canada for the
beginning of August. You're going to Wa-
terloo, you son of a gun, to join the Engi-
neers." I had an ultimate time in Europe
and Waterloo's been an experience to say
the least.
It's difficult to believe that more than
four years have paS'led since my first year
in Mechanical Engineering. It was proba-
bly the best decision of my life, even
though I had virtually no control over the
outcome.
FATE OR "NOTHING To Do ABOUT MUCH"
Fate is a mysterious and wondrous
thing. One has a limited amount of power
with respect to the outcomes of one's own
life. Decisions are made, but the results and
implications of each specific dErision is
never fully understood. An analogy can be
drawn between life and driving a car with-
out windows. You can tum the steering
wheel left or you can tum the wheel right;
either action oould be right, wrong or both.
The local tavem could be straight ahead or
you oould be heading into a wall. In life,
the choices aren't as clear as 'yes' or ' no' ,
'right' or 'wrong'. The best plan is to just
pop the gear into fifth and press on the ac-
celerator: thewoISt thing thatoould hap-
pen is the insurance company dishes out a
few thousand dollars ... but you might get a
beer.
1 try to open as many doors as I can
throughout my life and shove a block in
each one. Whether that signifies staying in
school, keeping in touch with former em-
ployers or staying on good terms with X-
lovers, I tend to not finalize too much. I
want to ensure enough options exist when
a change in life is inevitable so I don't have
to rely on any single person to lead me ina
given direction. I have no due what l'll be
doing next September let alone next centu-
ry, but I do find it a comforting thought
that I'm looking at a highway with many
off ramps rather than a fork in the road (or
a dead end for that matter).
Speaking of X's, my latest took anotrer
lover the day that I broke my hip. Just
something to contemplate over coffee
sometime.
lATER,
MILES ....
The Roommate Olympics continue:
M D
shesh-besh 106 76 (this is
backgammon, for trose uninfonned)
wagering (6 (6
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Are you tired of reading the same six people spouting their opinions? Have you
ever wanted to manipulate people's minds? Then the Iron Warrior is the place to be!
Remember - the media is your enemy, and the best way to prevent yourself from
being whipped into an orgiastic frenzy of consumerism by the military-industrial com-
plex is to join us.
Submit artideson disk to the office CPH foy , across from POEfS, or ur box in
the Orifice. If you prefer to avoid human contact. our email
Submissions are due the Friday before publication. The remaining dates are 12 No-
vember and '}fj November.
Our resident Adonis, Dandy Andy is looking for somebody to join him for after
hours mication, since he washoe! hL., d ishcs al homl' and w()url<l up with dghl stitl."!)
es.
Sooomc hangout in themostsuperific room -ring - Wl/l\' I :s,'lcrtlwdl: i
than the orifice, our pongc painting is way cook'!", <\I1d we'I\.'.\lI how,c lr.lirwd"i.
Besides, never the thrill "nd ' dOC-mt'flt of S4.: -i ng your n,lm 'in print.
Its better than sex .
W also don't bite, in spite of what you rmy hay m'fl told
t Unless you want us to.
We're actu(Uly qulte good .1t iL
.. 1mt depen;ls on fm}Uerq.
MM

c CO A
, I I

". ......
'I'
Oet Vour Fix at the
Engineering CaD
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VP-F
S
Colin Hung
38 Mechanical
A
IlO! AIlo ! Well, by the time you
read this I oope there will have
been at least ONE person woo de-
cided to run for the pooition of VP-Finaoce
and I want to oongratuIate him or rer. If
there are more people running (which
would REALLY be nice) then I wish you
all good 1uck for the upooming campcrign.
If there is robody running, then r want 10
reiternte my assurances of last issue: the pb
ISN'T AS BAD as everyone makes it
sound.
Having said that, I really don't know
whatelsetosay.
smoothly. No government office IS looking
for me, no University department has
called, not even Steve or Chris DeBrusk are
after me. It's amazing how nice people be-
oome when they receive their cheques.
And on the subject of cheques ... if you
currently waiting for one, please be patient
rve got some projects due this week and
111 try and get your money to you by Nov.
22
Seeing as I really have nothing mud) to
report and since this is the serond last spew
111 ever write, I wanted to take this oppor-
tunity to thank all the members of the uni-
WuF
weEF Morton
$50 <XXI in oold hard cash, all to benefit
Waterloo engineers! A lottery win? No, an-
otter WEEP fording dedsion The fund-
ing Council, or most of it,
Thursday to oonsider a WIde vanety of pro-
pooaJs from engineering faculty, students
and staff. 40 proposals were discussed, to-
taling roughly $250 <XXI. (See last fW for a
list) The Council was then able to reach a
decision, fairly distributing the money
versity administration woo have helped
me over the past 16 months.
From the 1st Yearoffire:
Doreen; Thanks for all the work you did
and thanks for looking out for me. AIl of
Eng Soc misses you.
Karen: Thanks for putting up with my
"It's only Moroay" yell for 16 months.
Thanks for all the it's been fun
Groy: Thanks for letting me use the
typewriter & stuff and thanks for listening
to all my oomplaints about the stuff that
goes on arourd. here.
Sue: I've learned more about the univer-
sity rom you than from anyore else. It' s
always great to talk to you. for an-
swering my numerous question<;.
From the Graphics Lab:
Ken; Thanks for the typewriter and the
liquid paper
Don: Thanks for all the pkes
June: Thanks for answering all my ques-
tions about village and about my pro-
grams. Offi
From the Me:h . ce:
What else to be said. ,
Thanks for always being there; words can t
express the help you provide all of us
MEOi students.
From the Dean's Office:
Elaine: Without you 1 would have been
ensnared in the University's reel tape.
Thanks for helping me cut through.
As well, thanks to the people in the Fi-
nancia1, Payroll and Personnel depart-
ments. Without all of these people, I
wouJdn't !:fave passro.last term and I cer-
tainly wouJdo't have aa::omplished all that
I did. ,
One last thing ... to Savage, T11l1, Alan,
Colin, Rich, JP, Jason, Ogg, Ash, Ameet,
Warren, John, Rob, Ray, Stats and Andy .. .f
haven't forgotten about those 32 pies .. .fl1
get you back 'cause I know where you live
(plus I have a key to all your rooms). Hee
Hee Hee Hee Hee Hee Hee ...
among departments, student projects and
of oourse, more oomputers. The Board of
Directors have limited student project
funding to 20% of the total funds, and this
requirement was met with apP:r:oximateIy
14% going towards student projects.
Thanks to the WEEF reps for their decision
and enjoy the benefit of YOUR endow-
ment As I referred to above, some WEEF
reps did not bother to attend tte voting
meeting. I am rot refening to thaie woo
oouIdn't make j t, they rontacted me and
voted ahead of time. The classes who were
not represented at the meeting are as fol-
lows. If you are in one of these cIag;es, you
might ask your WEEF rep why they Jet
you down.
3BGB) 3BCHEM
4A GEO 4A CHEM
As you're aware the EngSoc electiom
are now underway, and one of tte JXlS!- .
tions open is that of WEEF This IS
a challenging position, which a lot
of time however is very rewarding. Please
oon<;ider the candidates carefully and select
the one you oonsider best able 10 manage
YOUR money.
WEDNESDAY NIGHT
8 BAll
at FED HAL l
COME ON OUT ON WEDNESDAY'S
AT 7:30 PM. AND SHOOT A LlTILE
STICK WITH OTHER WATERLOO
POOL
$2.00 ENTRY FEE GETS YOU
3 HOURS OF COMPETITION
AND YOU COULD WIN
PRIZES FOR FINISHING
FIRST, SECOND OR
THIRDI
FOR FURTHER INFO
CALL 8884090
FED HALL IS OPEN WEDNESDAY THRU SATURDAY 11:30 AM. - lAM.
VP-x

Kim Jones
3B Chemical
I
n some ways it. seems that thin&,> are
slowing down as the term oomes to an
end. Although it has been a very re-
warding time, I certainly am not gomg to
be sorry to pass on my title to .whomever
gets more votes in the upoorrung EngSoc
election
For those of you who read my last spew
and those of you who care, Alison Pearse is
unfortunately unable to attend tte CCFS
oonference in January due to work require-
ments. The fourth delegate was to be the
newly elected VP Extemal. I reached a .
happyoompromise: I asked both tte candi-
dates (Oaire Anderson, 3B ChE and Amy
McCleverty, 2B SD) for VP Extemal to at-
tend.
As you may have read elsewhere in the
last IW Waterloo's Eng Soc A is hosting
this s PEO (Professional Engineers of
Ontario) oonference from January 27th (in
the evening) to the 31st This year, the oon-
ference will be particularly informative, as
it will address the recent decision to change
our P.Eng. requirements .from years to
four. If you're interested m leammg more
about the PEO, if you want to meet and.
party with engineers from across Ontario,
or if you just want to find out what a oon-
ference is all about, here's your chance. You
don't need to have any Eng Soc experience
at all; you just need enthusiasm, interest,
and a willingness to write about your expe-
riences in the IW. Conference application
forms are in a manila envelope taped to the
back wall of the Orifice. Pick one up and
apply ASAP. . .
Getting off the ronference toPIC, the re-
rent Remembrance Day service in the CPH
foyer was well-attended. Special thanks to
Rob McGeachy for bringing the band, and
to Stephen Codrington and Dean Burns for
speaking. One oomplaint was brought for-
ward by a professor that the faculty was in-
sufficiently informed of tte event .
though the service was intended primarily
for the students, he exposed the important
issue of oornmunication between faculty
and students. .As a first step, the Iron War-
rior will be distnbuted to tte departmental
offices.
By the time this issue oomes to print,. tte
last Bridging the Gap lecture of term
will be over. This lecture senes, Intended to
expose engineering students to a of
non-technical issues, appomts a new direc-
tor yearly. If anyone is interested in TWl-.
ningitnextyear, talk to
entails or e-mail me at
Probably the toughest issue I've had to
deal with this term is how to hold an ap-
propriate and tasteful service for tte foUl'-
teen female engineering students who
were mw-dered on December 6th, 1989.
The Engineering Society discussed holding
the service in cooperation with the Gender
Issues Board, as A Soc did last year, but
found we were approaching the issue dif-
ferently. They want to use the to ex-
pose and address violence agamst
Although violence against women IS an ex-
tremely important topic, we simply want
to remember and mourn the victims of the
crime.
In the belief that each focus is important,
the Engineering Society, with the backing
of the faculty, will be holding our own .
memorial service on December 6th, which
is also the last day of classes. TIle service
will go from 12:45 to 1:15 in IX: 1350. A
candle lighting ceremony will ?e
formed, and brief addresses will be given
both by Oaire Anderson, an
ate engineer, and by Colleen Wmters, who
was an undergraduate engineer here at the
lime of the massacre, and who is presently
working in Admissions. A display will be
set up in POETS all day to provide a quiet
place to reflect and learn. Not
Forgotten" buttons will be available m the
Orifice and from your class reps as of Mon-
day, November 22. We request a voluntary
donation to Anselma House for the button
The service held by the Gender Issues
Board will be on December 3rd, and will
have AJ Baxter, Eng Soc's first female presi-
dent, as the keynote speaker. They also
plan 10 have a number of other speakers
from a variety of backgrounds to reflect on
the significance of the massacre.
Lastly, and on a much lighter note, good
luck to all the candidates in the Eng Soc
elections! Listen to wha have to say,
read their articles, make suggestions, but
above alI, get out and vote!
Representatives
Amy Alfred
Anne Bridgeman
Class Rep Advisors
C
lass reps are responsible for
class's activities, some of which
are: keeping tte class infonned,
attending Eng Soc meetings, running Eng
Week events, and motivating thewoole
class to get involved beyond academics.
This term, 63 individuals (and 1 fridge)
were elected to represent you, and we
would like to commend them for the
work they did. Oass parties,
midterm Batch parties at Mc.Gmrus, the
Assassination game, class phone lists,
oourse critiques, movie Hal-
loween activities and deoorations, and
Christmas lights are all examples of. dass
rep work this term. The elections will be
taking place soon for next term's class rep
positions (before your dass goes .on .work
term). Please keep this opportunity m
mind as it is a great way to be involved
with your dass and learn valw:b1e orga-
nizational and interpersonal skills.
AId to the 63 class reps, thank you for
the GREAT JOB this term. We especially
would like to give a big pat on tte back to
tte frosh reps fur getting involved in Eng
Soc SO quickly in their Waterloo careers-
best wishes for the next 4 years with hope
that they are even better. We for-
ward to seeing even more spirit next
term.
Engineering Society
Directorships
Spring 1994
A
Pplication fonns are available
in the Orifice and are due by
Friday November 26th at
3:00pm Please return rompleted ap-
plication fonns to Betty in the Orifice.
Detailed descriptions of these
positions are available in the
Engineering Society Policy Manual.
Just ask Betty to see it
Don't miss out on a pleasurable
experience!
EXTERNAL
Campus Wide Activities
Arrange events with otter societies
on campus and continually promote
community spirit with fellow
Waterloo students (however the
student feels is best).
Public Relations
Work closely with the VP External
in publicizing Engineering. Prepare
public press statements to promote the
work of the society and be available to
answer community concerns with
regards to the Engineering opinion on
various issues. Maintain close liaison
with other publications such as the
Gazette, Ou-onicle and Record.
Canada Day (2-3)
Organize and plan games for about
400 childern to be held on Columbia
Lake Fields on Canada Day. Solicit
Engineering Student volunteers to run
games on Canada Day and have a big
bash for all the volunteers after the
fireworks.
Ring Road Classic (2)
Run a huge bicycle race around and
on campus. Directors must arrange for
sponsorship, prizes, parade, permit
and more. You can include both road
and off-road categories, and even
work with charities to benefit the
community.
ESSCORep
Provide a liaison with the
Engineering Student Society
Conference of Ontario. Attending
awesome conferences can be joined
with this directorship.
Fed Rep
Be a representative of the
Engineering Society on the Federation
of Students CounciL Inform on the
Feds to Engineering Students.
Otarities (2-3)
Plan events such as plant sales or
Mastercard booths that will help
engineering students use their time
and abilities to benefit the community.
Each charities event should be fun and
exciting and involve as many people
as JXlSSible.
Fronbunners Programs (2)
Anange for High School students to
come and spend a day with an
Engineering student. A1so develop a
high school visit program
(Frontrunners) with the guidance of
the VP External.
Social (2)
Road Trips (Brunswick House and
Blue Jays) and inter-faculty pubs are
the mission for this directorship. The
Social Directors also hold the great
Ear pub. The key to this directorship
isfun
INTERNAL
Arts (2)
Tal-Eng, Stratford, Movie nights,
BNAD, and lots of artistic contests
(photography, short story, and maybe
something new). This directorship
remin:ls students that ttere is more to
life than another Calculus assigrunent
Class Rep Advisors (2)
Ensure Class Reps act effectively by
sharing tips on motivating classes. It's
your job to aid communication
between Class Reps their cIasses.
Engi-Newsletter (2)
Remember thinking about which
prof quote was best this week? This
directorship provides all students with
a weekly dose of announcements and
humour.
Athletics (2)
A great directorship since you
would have to organize (or assign
classes to organize) the numerous
supplies, equipment and training
provided.
Exchange (2)
Be friendly to Exchange Students,
and help them feel comfortable with
life in Waterloo. Various events can be
run iocluding pubs or BBQs.
Spirit Directors (2)
These people will be respoIlSlble for
livening up the place with Spirit Days
and other stimulating events.
SERVICES
P.O.E. T.5. Manager (2)
Contact bar services with requests
for lots more beer every-di;1y-all-the-
time-and-then-some as well as
sporting events that take ....
o
o

" the day to


day
organization,
cus tomer
seen.
Take Some News (2)
Pick up the Eng Soc video camera
and record Engineering Students
doing silly things as well as serious
things to put togetrer a series of soows
for POETS to keep people informed
an:l titillated.
Publicity (2)
Work with the Eng. Soc. Prez, to
establish and implement a
communication plan for Eng Soc
events and activities. Also,
PROMOTE, make posters,
PROMOTE, talk to people,
PROMOTE, and help other directors
inform engineering students about
exciting events. A1so take care of the
White board and the Pixel board.
Darlaoom Director
Improve the current darkroom
situation so that everyone can enjoy
worlcing there with all the necessary
relations as well as sampling new food
products and improving the
effectiveness of our C&O.
Orifice Director (2)
Spend time increasing the
usefulness of the Eng Soc centre of
operations through capital
improvements and day to day
operations. Learn how to take over for
Betty (although nobody can do her job
as well as she can) just in case she
needs help.
Recycling (2)
Work with the university recycling
committee and with each engineering
class to operate a system of recycling
within the engineering buildings.
Novelties (2)
This directorship is suited to
someone who wants to try their hard
at marketing, sales, and artistic
pursuits (ie thinking of new t-shirt
ideas). Eng Soc is always willing to try
new rovelty ideas so if you are an idea
person or just like to go soopping for
2XX) people then apply for this job.
IRON WARRIOR
Edilors(2)
Fun, fun, fun; pleasure, pleasure,
pleasure.
Layout Editors (2)
.. .. .. .. .. ... ,
Free pizza. Opportunity for late-
night fornication (after business roms,
of course) and putting together the
best newspaperon campus.
Photo Editor
Take pictures of enticing
engineering events, POETS Patron of
the Week, and Exec OR delegate to
your staff. Free film.
Advertising Editor (1)
Get to know what's going on in KW,
an:l where the best deals are - make
some great local contacts (get on VIP
guest lists). Ard maybe get Ite;e folks
to advertise in the IW.
Advertising Staff (unlimited)
The more people sign up , the more
fun it'll bel Don't be left out in the cold.
Office Manager (1)
Sclunooze with the editors, clean up
after them, generally attend to IW's
every need an:l feign importance.
ACADEMICS
Speaker(l)
The individual with this job must
keep the council meetings fun and
running smoothly by bribing long-
winded directors to be quiet with
lollipops. The speaker provides the
agendas for each meeting and will also
organize the Joint Council each term.
SAC. Rep
Students Advising Co-op. This is the
students' voice to the Co-op
department. You have to tell them
what we want.
W.E.E.F. Assistant Director (2)
A!JtiM ent
Director in various activities including
meetings, IW articles, directions to
xi <1 nd buslJ :Is. n,i" is an
xccl! ' nt pOSiti on for a nyOlw
inter ling in gelling involved in ,lny
or all a 'peets of the WEFF.
Academics
Encourag studenL., and prok 'sot'S
t rontribut l to the exam bird em in the
Orifice. Join education committe ih<1t
exist on campus including at
the university or roorse critiques, <lnd
schmooze with the profs.
Course Critiques
Work with the DEAN to run the
term's critiques used to evaluate lh
courses and the teaching methods of
the profussors on campus.
S.F.F. Rep
Student rep to the Sandford Fleming
Foundation. Work with S.F.F. in
organizing debates, technical speaker
rompetitions and other exciting stuff.
UnWantAds
Inform students on how to romplete
critiques about their Co-op job on
Watstar and on how to use the system.
For anyone working on or about the
University of Waterloo the next two
directorships are for Summer 1993.
Off-Tenn Rep
Keep A-Soc in line. Attend council
meetings an:l continually voice B-Soc's
opinion. Send regular mail-outs to
directors an:l cIass reps to let everyone
know about Joint Council and
Waterloo happenings while they are
off skiing in the Rockies or scuba
diving in Florida. You will keep
everyone informed.
Blotter
Each term a desk blotter is produced
by Eng Soc for the students. The blotter
needs to be put together romplete with
caleo:fars and advertisements during
the winter term so it can be printed in
May an:l distnbuted at the beginning
of term. This director will plan the
blotter and has artistic license to
improveil
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The Sandford Fleming Foundation Waterloo Campus Activiy
4306 Carl Pollock Hall, University of Waterloo, Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3G 1 (519) 888-4008
Congratulations
Sandford Fleming Foundation Work Term Report Awards
Michael Heitner, Computer Engineering
Jane Alcott, Geological Engineering
Gavin Hurlbut, First Year Engineering
Katherine Klein, Civil Engineering
Patrick Williamson, Civil Engineering
Andrew Bugg, Mechanical Engineering
George Dufault Award
Keith Tse, Electrical Engineering
Funding for these awards comes from engineering student contributions and depends on them for continuation.
An organisation devoted to the advancement of engineering education.
A ook at Two Japans
Mike possmayer
A
s I push my way through the hustle and c
bustle of the rushhour crowds at Shinjuku
subway station I find myself confronted by
a beautiful, young WomaI'l. dressed in the la test of
Tokyo fashions. 'TlSSYUU de gozaimasu. Doozo."
she sings to me, offering me her hand with a small
handi-pack of Kleenex. I grab the plastic package
and mutter "arigato" under my breath as I shove the
package into my pocket, next to the other two
Kleenex packages I received at other stations that
day.
other big cities. The fascina ting old festivals and tra-
ditions still exist in a relatively unaffected form.
However, Tokyo has many exciting and flamboyant
new aspects as well, such as the super-department
stores in Shibuya (one store can take up three city
blocks, with covered bridges overhead allowing ac-
cess from one building to another), and the weekly
display of Tokyo's suIxulture at Yoyogi park on
Sundays when the park fills with entertainers and
entertainees of every kind. Punk, heavy metal, jazz
and pop fill the eardrums, while dancers, mime
troupes and other performers delight and dazzle
your eyes. And, as often as not, their convoluted in-
terpretations of Western culture are hilarious. There <1
is nothing quite so funny as a group of
Japanese teens in black leather jackets,
pants and rowboy boots, their hair
gelled to extend 15crn above
their foreheads, twisting to the
sounds of Elvis and otrer
fifties heroes. And as
you leave the park, be
sure to stop by and
get your own
erage working man (and I say 'man' intentionally),
starts at the company sometime between 9:30 and
10:30. The Japanese were quite incredulous that I
consistently showed up for work at the absurdly
early hour of nine o'clock. An hour is taken for
lunch, where all the men would head to a nearby
restaurant for the most delicious, and most expen-
sive, fast food available. Ten to fifteen dollars for a
precooked meal of Cambodian, Korean, American or
Japanese cuisine. My budgetary constraints forced
me to start bringing my own lunches, a practice that
raised the eyebrows of more that a few of my fellow
workers. 'Did your girlfriend cook it for you?'
and Where did you buy that?' were rom-
mon questions. They couldn't un-
derstand why a man would
bother to prepare a meal for him-
self.
The monotony of the afternoon was
broken up by an OL (Office Lady, the term
for their secretarial staff) bringing ho green tea to
This experience occurred during my 3A workterm
last year. I participated in the Tottori exchange,
which involved tearing myself from Waterloo, and
indeed all of Canada, for nine months of my under-
grad life. The Tottori exchange program offers a
unique opportunity to experience a culture radically
different from ow: own. Two Ierxns are spent in
Japan, typically your 3A school and work tenns. For
you &Streamers, you would go for your 3A work
term and your 3B school term. The opportunity to
both attend school in a relatively rural setting and to
work in a Japanese company provides the chance to
see Japan from two very different aspects.
The school term extends from mid-April to the
end of September. The university is on the edge of
the city ofTottori, a city about the same size as Kitch-
ener-Waterloo. This qualifies the city to be relegated
to 'rural' status. Tottori is on Ura-Nihon, or ' the
backside of Japan'. The 'backside' refers to the rela-
tively unpopulated oorthwest coast of Honshu, the
main island of Japan. Tokyo, Yokohama, Nagoya,
Osaka and Hiroshima, some of the largest popula-
handi-pack of
Kleenex ...
Some \
Japanese
customs can
also leave
all the men at three o'clock. Ois always have uni-
versity degrees, and are obviously intelligent
women. However, their role in the rompany
was to sit on permanent display in the center of a
& ring of men's desks, using word processors,
ready to make photocopies or green tea at
ill anymoment
tion centers of Japan, are all much closer to the Pacific fused. Drunken
coast salarymen, return-
The area around Tottori is more dominated by ing home after an
mountains and agricultural areas rather than facto- tJ I evening drinking binge, stop to use
ries and highrises. Tottori campus is located at the the nearest public wall as their private
side of Koyama-ike, a small picturesque lake. Also in urinal. The number of pedestrians using
the area are rountless vegetable fields and especially <:? the sidewalk at the time does not seem to be a
rice fields. roncern And blowing your nose in public in
Older women with backs that have become r:J Japan is as socially unacceptable as urinating on
permanently bent from the rigors of a farm- f/ the wall outside Kinkos at dinnertime here in Water-
ing life can be seen working the fields in 100.
a routine, but serene and happy The Japanese university holiday system provides a
manner. People here are not so I> benefit the average Waterloo engineering student
obsessed with the daily bustle of city life. will never experience: a HOUDA Y. Seven weeks in
The proximity to the sea (maybe three kilometers July and August are set aside to study for the exams
from the university) allows you to experience people, in September (yeah right). The last time I had seven
sights and food that is not easily seen or obtained in ronsecutive weeks off was .. .I can't remember. Even
the large cities. through most of high school I had summer jobs to
An early morning walk to the market near the sea contend with. Seven weeks of absolute freedom to
lets you buy the first catch of the day. do anything, the only limitation being your fj-
Squid, octopus, shrimp and a variety of fresh (and nances. Assuming you're not rich, you will find it
I mean fresh!) fish can be purchased. relatively cheap- necessary to get on a plane and leave the rountry .
ly. (Despite all of the common misconceptions people
The otrer Japan of which I speak will be found. have about Japan, the stereotype about their outra-
during the work-term. It will likely be in or near one geous prices is right on the money.) You cannot af-
of the aforementioned large population centers. ford seven weeks of travel in a rountry where the
1hese cities are full of the hustle am bustle oonnally price of lOkg of rice ranges from $35 to $60. Pick a
associated with metropolitan areas. Bright neon nearby country (Korea, Hong Kong, Thailand) and
lights, crowded (and I mean crowded!) subways, a enjoy the total lack of obligatiorn am deadlines.
diverse roUection of Y'oung am old people, young Seeing the revered Japanese management style
am their companies' customs first ha'OO provided
and old architecture, young and old lifestyles. .. the
different inciohh:! into their culture. The working
list goes on and on. My worlctenn was iricentral
Tokyo. Tokyo has been affected much more greatly roms, relatiOMhips between employees, am the role
by the infIueoce of the West than Tottori. I of genier in the workplace are interesting, amusirl& J
..
The work in the afternoon invariably
stretched into the evening. At about seven o'clock
the cups of green tea on my boss' desk were replaced
by whisky on the rocks. The workers generally trick-
led out between the hours of nine and 11:30, just in
time to catch the final train home. Upon returning
home they sleep for five or six hours, then groggily
make their way back to the train for the two hour
rommute to work.
Some of the evenings are concluded with a
nomikai, literally a 'drink meeting'. These weekly
events involve a group of men, and whatever Ois
can be convinced. to come along. An evening of
whisky, beer, joking, (you know, the type of jokes
that are only funny after a beer and 3 or 4 whiskeys)
and karaoke ensues. Karaoke, the Japanese word for
'empty orchestra', is a very popular pastime. The
Japanese actually delight in making public spectacles
of themselves. I quite enjoyed hearing their amusing
renditions of my favourite Beatles, Rolling Stones,
Elvis and Blondie tunes. These evenings were a tad
costly (the equivalent of $W - $70 per person was
normal) so it is very fortunate that the rompany has a
slush fund for just such occasions.
By spending an extended period of time abroad, I
was able to integrate and learn a lot about the culture
from within. I saw myself in a very different atmos- .
phere, where I had to ronstantly accommodate and
adjust to unexpected situations. In doing so, I can
now look at Japan in a different way, and, using
these experiences as a reflection of myself and my
own culture, I now see Canada and my pooition
within Canada in a new light
For information about the program. rontact Prcr
fessor Hipel, Systems Design Department, or see
Gndy Howe in the first year undergraduate office in
(J>H. Ard if you go to Japan" perhaps you can tell
me why perky young women constantly supply you
with pocket Kleenex packs when you can't even
blow your rLlS in public.
Ich bin Braunschweiger!
Martin Zagorsek
M
y first th:>ughtwhen my plane landed in
Amsterdam was "So this is that Europe
. place I've been hearing about all my life."
It was my first time over the pond, and, surprisingly,
it clidrl t look that different The airport looked just
like any other airport. lois of big planes landing and
taking off on lois of big runways. Staring out the
train window, it still looked pretty similar. The cars
were smaller, the streets were smaller, the buildings
were smaller, but that was the extent of my first im-
pression
The first week was spent in a daze. I had of course
bought the cheapest flight I could find, which meant
flying overnight and missing an entire night of sleep
on top of the jet lag. Stumbling my way from train to
train, the transition from the Netherlands toGer-
many only registered on me as different coldured
trains, and a different-sounding language being sp0-
ken around me. Much to my dismay, I clidn't under-
stand this one either.
Before I left for my exchange to Germany, I was
told two things about the language barrier: learn as
much German as you possibly can before you go,
and don't expect to understand anyone wren you
get there, no matter how much German you've
learned. The same prooobly applies for any ex-
change, and it definitely clid for this one. To make
things worse, the few times that I got up the nerve to
stammer a few sentences of German to anyone, they
quickly switched to English I guess they were try-
ing to be nice, but it wasn't exactly confidence-build-
ing to give up on my German so quickly.
I arrived in Braunschweig, my new home for
the next year, and was met at the train station
by my new roommates. Finding me a place to
live was the nicest thing the university in
Braunschweig ever clid for me (finding a
place on your own can take weeks, and
there's no youth hostel in the city.) It
was also the only help newcomers get,
ever. But in my case, it was enough.
since my roommates were
some of friendliest am
most helpful people I'd ever
met So much for Germans
being unfriendly to strangers.
Getting registered, signed
up, settled in and straight-
ened out is hell in any coun-
try, and Germany is
definitely one of the more bu-
reaucratic countries in the
world. I was very fortunate
to have one of my brand-
new roomies come along, so
I a t least had a vague idea
what all the fonns I was sign-
ing were about It worried
me that whenever I asked a
simple question, he'd turn to
whatever official we were with
and have to jabber away for a good ten
minutes Pefore coming back with an answer.
H I had been alone, I would have been very
lost
After the initial sOOck of the first week,
things settled into a bit of a routine. My
first days were filled with lectures, wrere
I clidrlt understand much. conversa-
tions, wrere I clidn't understand much.
and lV, which I didn't understand
much of. Again, my roommates were very
helpful and had infinite amounls of patieoc-e with
my "How do you say ... ?" questions. Iguessitwasa
fair trade, sin:e they got some great laugh> whenev-
er my mangling of their language produced some
particularly funny mistakes.
Over the next two months, my dictionary nearly
fell to pieces as I madly struggled to expand my
cabulary to the point wlEe I couki actually read
rewspapers and understand lV programs. Talking
was less of a problem, sin:e the vocab is more limit-
ed, and because I spend endless hours talking to my
roommates and anyone else I met. Most people
were really supportive, helping me out whenever I
got a senteoce tangled up, or correcting me whenev-
er I said something that was 00dly incorrect.
Social life in general did turn out to be both differ..
ent from what I wac; UCled to am different from what
I wac; expecting. The stereotype of Gemlan reseJVe
does have a blsis in reality, but it took a time to
understand exactly how people acted differently.
The first impresslon I had of a German student party
is that everyone seemed to be really aloof. You could
get introduced to people by a friend, get scarcely a
nod to ackrow1edge your existence, and the conver-
sation would promptly continue without you. And I
never, in the entire year I was there, had a conversa-
tion with a stranger that wasn't started by me.
Of course, I asked my friends about this reluctance
to talk to new people, and I had a hard time getting
any kind of answer. When asked, they would shrug
and say 'Why would I want to talk to someone I
don't know?" With this sort of attitude, social ci.rcIes
tended to be much tighter than here, and even had
some of the cliquishness of our high school days.
Eating lunch with people outside the usual gang
would usually bring up a comment or two, mildly
disapproving.
Given this cautious attitude towards unfamiliar
people, it was fun to watch people's reactions to my
own (relative to them) brash manner. People at par-
ties or clubs were almost always surprised whenever
I talked to them. but alrriost always ended up being
really friendlyarrl chatty once they realized I wasn't
going to bite. I sometimes got the impression that
some people would have lik.ed to be more open, but
being
brushed
off.
Most
clidn't have the nerve to
talk to someone and risk
Braunschweig e
Muniche
pe0-
ple I met became
much more interested when they found out I'm a
Canadian. As you would expect, a lot of people
were curious about Canada, and ma>t of them had
never met a Canadian before. Being from Canada re-
ally helped, and even with bureaucrats it often got
me good treabnent With all the attacks on foreign-
group of 'good' foreigners, along with northern and
western Europeans, Americans, and anyone else
from an industrialized country. My thoughls on that
whole issue would fill another entire article, let's just
say that I was at least happy that the prejudices I
faced were pooitive.
One of the bigger surprises of the year was how lit-
tle Gennans know about Canada. As much as we
knock Americans for knowing nothing about the rest
of the world, most Germans I met weren' t a whole
lot better. I won't even talk abou t those who clidn't
see a difference between Canada and the USA, but
even fairly enlightened people knew very little about
our country. 'Their standard image of Canada con-
sisls of endless foresls, untouched. wilderness, and
clean and pure air everywhere. I guess they've never
been to Hamilton Nearly everyone was surprised to
hear that Toronto is bigger than Berlin, and that yes,
we have pretty ood traffic jams here too. And the
standard wisecrack whenever I told someone I'm
from Canada was "So you're a lwnberjackf'
The truth is, I often had a hard time remembering
that Germany is over 200 times as densely populated
as Canada. Even in the big dties, there wasn't that
big-city feel that comes from being dwarfed by sky-
scrapers. Buildings over five or six stories are pretty
rare, and most people I spoke to lik.ed it that way. It
was really nice to see a downtown with lois of open
spaces, market squares, cafes and lois of
B
people hanging around all over the
place. It was very alive, like having
Kensington market all over. Even in
Berlin (especially in Berlin!) the streets
felt really alive without ever feeling
crowded.
Needless to say, I travelled at
every opportunity, and got to
see a lot of Germany and even a
bit of the neighbouring coun-
tries, even though I avoided the
Eurail terK:ountries-in-ten-ciays
travel style. The main reason I
stayed within Germany is that
I spent most of my trips visit-

people I got to know at the
university in Braunschweig
cam from all over the>
untty (although more
from the North than
South) and all w. nt-
ecito how m 'their' city.
is no better toUl'-
guide to a city than some-
one woo grew up there!
The travelling was a lot of fun, but it was
still only a sideshow. The best part of the year
was simply going from being the new kid who
doesn't know anyone and can barely speak the lan-
guage to having a great bu.och of friends, hanging
out and living the student life just like we do here.
FspecialIy towards the erd, when my friends
woukl row and tren forget that I wasn't Ger-
man, or wren we'd pretend to people who
clidn't know me that I was German and
get them. to teU me about Canada, that's
when I really felt at oome there.
For anyone considering doing an ex-
change, the language barrier and the culture
srock. aren't things to be taken lightly, but they
sOOuldn't be a deterrent either. It's just another
challenge to overcome, and the rewards for this one
go far beyond anything you could get out of
spending the same amount of time lEe in Water--
100. Whether you spero three or four (or five)
years here at UW won't make much d.iffere:oce to
who you are and what you've really learned, but I
can't begin to descnbe the difference a year out of the
country can make.
Auf Wiedersehen!
ersandgeneral
=r=t ::t .. C-RHRVIIN C'ITFE
gets reported -:.
by the media, ... Middle Eastern Cuisine
this may Falafel - Shawerma Specialty Coffees
sourd surpri!r Homrnus Homemade Cakes
ing. But! .. and lots more. Large Variety of Desserts
quicklydiscov- Come in and try one of our take out specials
ered that Liscensed under L.L.B.O. - Catering Available
Canadians be-
170 University Ave. W. (University Plaza), Unit 20
Ionglothe
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Alison
If you are in 1A you may recognize me
as one of your Supemuges from Frolh
Week. If you have already made it over the
first tmn hurdle you may have known me
as a class rep (in 2A), as Canada Day Direc-
tor (in 28), as the Orifice Director (in 3A), or
as the Public Relations Director (this term).
I am currently in 3B Chemical. and I am
nnming for the pa;ition of Engineering S0-
ciety President.
The potential of students within Fngi-
neering to excel inside and outisde of
school is ina'edible. We have demonstrat-
e::i in the piSt that we can a<xDmplish truly
bitchin' things. ENGINEERING ORIEN-
TATION is a monumental indoctrinat:ion
to school life and. provides lW participants
with an amazing diversiDn from school for
a week. We also run the C & 0 and
roms. We plan and attmd semi-formals
that will never be forgotten. The Waterloo
FIlgineering Endowment Fund is currently
atan extraordinary $1,(XX),lXX)+ (WOW!).
Grad Com looks afu!r the Yearbook. Iron
Ring Stag and Grad Ball when we get to
fourth year. Brunny Road Trips, POETS
Patio Pubs, Inter-University nights and the
End-of-T erm Pub are all managed and pro-
moted by our SOCIAL dire::tors.
Therommunityfeels the positive impact
that you as an Engineering student have on
yourrommunity. We organize the BUS
PUSH for Big and plant sales for
Anselma HOuse. We have created the
Highschool Shadow program so we can
enlightm area highschool students about
Pearse
the Waterloo Engineering
Games for hundrEds of local children are
run by Engineering student volunteers on
Canada Day.
The plethora of services which are orga-
nized by studEnts for students are available
for the benefit of all Engineering shrlents.
Things like Course Critiques, old midtmns
arrl finals, the cheapest photocopies on the
planet, the darkroom, our Iron
Warrior, the Unwant Ads, Bndgtng the
Gap lecture series; all of these things are to
be used by YOU!
I believe that the Presidenfs role in the
Fngineering Society is to act as a resoUl'O!
to you,. the FIlgineering student. The events
arrl services offered to you by FIlg Soc
(that's can make your life a little less
stressful and more enjoyable, but only if
you let it happen! Th.e FIlgineering Society
should be used as a breeding ground for
new ideas and as a forum for the expres-
sioo of your talents.
There is more to life in Fngineering than
assigrunents, labs, projects and exams. You
decidehow much time you can afford to
spend on life outside of school arrl what
you spend your time on. You have some-
thing that makes you stand apart from
your peers and FIlg Soc should be exploit-
e::i as a means of putting all of your new
ideas into motion. Your executive should
be willing and able to direct your energy
and help mold all of your brilliant ideas

in to reality.
The President of the Fngineering Society
will spend much time with the Deans As-
sistant,. Elaine Thome. r have enjoye::i
working with Elaine on many of the as-
pects of Orientation 1993, and look forward
to being able to rontinue working with the
Dean's office for the students in Engi-
neering.
WHOAREWE? ...
Kev in
Hi, I'm Kevin Wright, your friendly
neighbourhood Presidential candidate. I
you might want to know a little
bit about me if you're going to vote, so per-
haps I1l tell you a story about myself.
I was justa young lad at the time .. .1B
perhaps 2A when it happened. I remem-
ber sitting outside the Orifice watching
them rome in and out,. A.J. Baxter, Drew
Conway, Meathead. I used to dream of be-
roming one of them, wielding power like a
familiar childhood toy. I told my dream to
my dear Aunt Sadie on her deathbed and
she made me swear on my very life that I
would one day be:ome president of FIlg-
SOC .... ok granlsd, you may have learned
more about me if I told a true sto!}', but
that's the only one I've got I think the
dying Aunt Sadie was a nice touch, don't
you?
I think that above all as president my job
would be as your EngSoc friend. EngSoc is
for everybody who didn't take
back that $10.50 and it's the
presi-
"
Wright
dent's job to ensure that happens. I can't
promise to lower the tuition or tum EL 101
into a casino and pleasure palace but I will
promise to be there when you have any
questions or concerns about FIlgSoc. If you
failed out and need to find out about the
E&P rommittee or if you have roncems
about an EngSoc event, its the president's
job to be there for you. I've been involve::i
with FIlgSoc for two years now and I have
held both the Events and POETS
dire::torships along with participating in
both of the last two Frosh I've been
housebroken for months and I have yet to
bite anytxxiy this semester. In short, I
think thatI'm the person for the job.
I think we're roming up to a good year
here at Wa terloo, WEEF is growing bigger
every day and for the first time ever we
have an actual race for the position of
WEEP dire::tor. We may finally (knock on
wood) be roming out of this recession and
we can finally stop worrying about how
much our unemployment cheques will be
and get back to working on our work
tmns. I think that my feelings can be
summe::i up with a quote from the ever
popular Nirvana, ''l'm so happy; 'Cause
today I found my friends; They're in my
head", Wait, my campaign manager is
telling me I was suppa;e:i to keep that a se-
cret,. oh well. But anyway, this article has a
cap of 500 words so l1lhave to sign off but,
if any of you have any questions about me
or my camplign, my classroom is E21303B
and if I'm not there POETS is always a
good bet. Please rome and talk to me if
you have any roncems or if you just want
to talk. Above all I would like to ask all of
you to get involve::i on election day,
whether you vote for me or not, It is impor-
tant that we all take part in de-
ciiling the
future of the Engi-
neering Society.

VJCeP:tesident- What
the heck is a VP External? That's the first
question I asked when I found out about
the existence of an EngSoc executive back
in lA. The purpose of this artide is
twofold: to let you know how I have inta-
preted the objective of the position ofVP
Extemal and how I intB'ld to meet
ja'tive.
The primary duty of the VP External is
to promote a positive image of both Engi-
neering and the Engineering Society out-
side of the Faculty. In the past, this has
been dooe through programs such asFron-
tn.mners, High Schoo19ladowing, Com-
munity Jnvolvemmt and participating in
various ronferena!s. The following para-
graphs briefly outline row I would like to
improve upon these programs.
The Frmt:rwners program, which in-
volves EngineeIn.g students going back io
their high sdlooL<l to talk k> students about
&gineering, is a fantastic idea that needs to
be bettEr implemented. It is a n!lativeJy
new program that is not well known
througbNt Engineering. There sOOuld be
an infmnatioo sessial organized to let
people know what it's an about, followed
by a brief seminar to let in1B'eSted
pmidpants know what aspects ofEngi-
neering they should tty to CDVf!!l in their
dOO.Issions with the High School students.
As weD. participants shouki have the 0p-
tion of doing the high sd\ooI visits while m
work term when they have more time.
High
School Shadowing is
another terrific program that I
think can be improve::i upon. Currently it
is only open to K-W students. I would like
to look into the possibility of cpening this
program up to students from across On-
tario, since that is where the majority of our
students rome fro.m. I would also like to
implement a wrap-up session where High
School participants would be as}(OO to fill
out a romment sheet in order to give us

particiJ?ants should be given a little more
cIiroction as far as topics to rover and places
to visit.
A major ancem of mine is our image as
both a Faculty and Society in the rommuni-
ty. It's really important that we promote a
positive image of Engineering in the rom-
munity, and a really easy way to do that is
through positive media attention. An ef-
fective way of getting that kind of attention
is by providing a service to the rommuruty.
I would like to organize a day that involves
spoocling the afIernooo doing charitable
work such as planting trees, donating time
at a food bank, or organizing and naming
Olympics events, foIlowe::i by a
huge party to thank everyooe for that
valuable a:ntribution.
I am excited to be a pm of the Universi-
ty of Waterloo's Engineering Society, and I
want to transfer that energy into something
tangible. We aD know that Waterloo Engi-
neers are the best. but now its time to let
everyooeelseknow that! A vote for Amy
M:.aeverty will mean increased oommu-
nity awareness and involvement and the
recDgnition that we, as Engineers at UW,
deserve.
Amy McCleverty
a:ntemplating writing this piece, I
oonsidere::i many different ideas. How can
I possibly inform the entire Engineering
undergraduate population of why I fee) I
would doa great job as the VP-External for
the Engineering Society and why 1 believe I
am qualifie::i to do so, in 500 words or less?
Since I still cannot answer this question. I
de::ide::i to just start writing.
Fngineering students at the University
of Waterloo are one of the greatest groups
of people with which I have had the plea-
sure of being associated. Not only are they
spirited, but they are also very giving to
their rommunity and their peers (I am not
referring to "sharing" assigrunents, al-
though I guess that rould be include::i
here). Through my experiences as a 50-
PERHUGE for Engineering Orientation
1993, I dealt with all kinds of poople, in-
duiling the Dean and his staff, the Federa-
tionofStudents, the business community
ard most importantly, the Big Siblings and
the Frosh of 1993. The one thing that 1 will
remember most from this pastFrosh Week
is how mudl energy and enthusiasm
everyone had and the great times that re-
sulted.
This enthusiasm does not End when
classes begin. Through fll&'loc. engineer-
ing w-.dergrads run many events which
beNfit thatrommunity including Food
Drives, Plant Sales, the High School Shad-
ow program. and the annual BUS PUSH.
Although these events are apprecialilld by
those woo gain from them. they often go
I.II'HWJticed by the Universitycanmmity
ard the oommmity at large. This is cur-
rmtiy being addressed by the recent cre-
ation of a Public Relations Directorship
within Engsoc.lt is this persm's responsi-
bility to oommunicate with the local media
with the intmtion of improving the image
eX Engineering Wldergraciuates here at
UW. H elected. I would like io rontinue de-
veloping this Directorship, since I feel that
although our image is beginning to im-
prove, it is still not an accuraterefl8:tion of
who weare.
What else would I like to accomplish?
This is a very goc.d question. I would like
to see increase::l. interaction between stu-
dents here and students at other Canailian
Engineering schools. The only time that
this typically ocx:urs is at the various oonfer-
ences that happen throughout the year. I
would like to initiate a larger amount of
rontact engineering students at
UW and those at other universities,
through larger social "gatherings", for ex-
ample.
Why do Heel thatl would. be a great
asset to the Engineering Society as VP-Ex-
temal? To begin with. I have been involve::i
with Engsoc for many tenns now in vari-
au; capacities, including Publicity Director,
BUS PUSH Director and Director of the
High School9ladow program this term.
All of mypasitioos with EngSoc have been
extemal Directorships since this is where
my interests lie. This is not to say that I do
not enjoy events for "internal
enpyment", as I fomd being a SUPER-
challenging, but rrore impor1antiy,
a helluva lot of fun! In closing, I hope that
you will oonsideI' what I have said when
you vote on November 25th!
And remember ...
WE ARE, WEARE, ...
Claire Anderson
G reg
a<. so let's be honest. who really knows
that there is such thing as a WEEP Director
and thatitisanelecbrlpa;itioo. However,
, this pa;itioo which I am running for, has
arguably the most influmce on your acad-
emicexperimces here in Waterloo Engi-
neering. With increasingIy less money
given to Universities, the significance of the
Endowmmt Fund is being increasai re-
quiring strong managemmt skills and
diploma<)' to continue the suco!ss and
high standards of our faculty.
The position of Waterloo Engineering
Endowmmt Fund Director, is mtrusted
with the responsibility to representing the
wishes of the mgineering studmt 1:xx:ly to
the Boatrl ofDi.re:tors. This is done
through chairing Funding Council and
Boatrl of Di.re:tors meetings, soliciting
funding pIqXJSals, running the
funds allocation votes, distributing
the money to various projects, and admin-
istering Voluntary Studmt Contribution re-
funds.
These obligations require a candidate
who is committed, responsible, cmscim-
tious, has strong personal and manage-
mmt skills, and is dErlicated to the WEEP
project I believe I possess these character-
It's your money. It doesn't belong to the
faculties and it doesn't belong to the En-
dowment directors, the class reps or the
board members. I'm not saying that these
individuals are not doing a good job (in fact
I think that this term's funding decisions
wereall very good ones). What I am say-
ing, however, is that the studmts should be
more involve:i in determining how their
money is spent
With the WEEP principal having just
passErl the 12 million dollar mark, thenext
few terms will see the Endowmmt become
a well establishe:i mtity in Engineering.
The trends that we set now will shape the
course of your Endowment for years to
come. Now is the time for the studmt txxfy
to take full charge of its erIdowment and to
ensure thatit will continue to directly con-
trol how the Endowment's money is spent
in the future.
let's take a look at where things stand
rightnow. Of all the proposals submittErl
this term fewer than 15% were initiated
and represented by students. Furthermore,
large portions of the student txxfy were not
even given the chana! to comment and
voice their opinions 00 proposals that di-
rectly affected their deputmmts. At the
same time, the various departmmt chairs
have been getting more and more orga-
nized mer the past few terms. The impres-
sive prqx>sal packages submitted by the
departments, once again. seem to have the
Car I

I
istics and would like to put them to work
for you. In addition. my experiences as a
WEEP and aGldemic class representative
have provided me with the solid back-
ground neErla:i be the WEEP Director.
Currently, WEEP is spending an average
of $50 (XX) per term on stuimt projects, lab
equipmmt and Watstar expansions. As
WEEF Director, I interld to
tising and public relations to display the
benefits of WEEP to your mgineering e:iu-
cation. I propose to continue the efforts of
the CUITeI:lt Director to expand the Employ-
er Matching Contribution campaign and
co-<>rdinateour Endowment fund with
others 00 campus.
I have mjoye:i and appreciate the suc-
cess that Dave Morton has adUeve:! for the
mdowment fund over the past four teons.
I wish to a.ntinue his efforts and do my
part to ensure that as undergraduate stu-
dmts at U of W, we are proVide:! with the
opportunities to reach OlD" high staIrlards
as Waterloo Engineers.
Unfortunately, this article was probably
unable to answer all your questions re-
garding the WEEF Director position and
my qualifications for the job. I would be
pleased to answer any questions you may
have and look forward to having the 0p-
portunity to work to your benefit as WEEP
Director.
K e V in
Hi All.
I'mI<evin Perry, a 3B Comp Eng studmt
and I would like to be the next WEEP Oi-
roctor. In the past I have been involve:i in
Eng Soc as a class rep. I have been involve:i
with WEEP since the early constitutiooal
discussions as a class representative. Since
thm I have worked with the Electrical and
Computer departmmt to ensure both stu-
dmt and departmmtal satisfaction with
WEEF proposals and funding. I have al-
ways felt that the WEEF would have an
erIOrmoUS influma! on the quality of e:iu-
cation we receive from this university and I
want to do whatever I can to see it sua:eed
in it's goals.
The WEEF is important to all of us be-
cause it allows studmts and farulty to de-
termine together what problems
\', ...... '
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studmts' best interests in mind - Bur
IT'S STILL YOUR MONEY -and you
. should have more control!
The solution to this does not lie in a radi-
cal restructuring of the WEEP, it doesn't lie
in changing its constitution - it's simply a
matter of organization. In some cases it's
something as fundammtal as making sure
the class rep shows up to the meetings (sad
but true - there are a lot of prople out there
who paid their $75arrl don't even know
who represmts them in the funding ded-
sion -or evm that there is somebody).
lngmeraL however, it's a matter
of making sure that the
class reps know what
they are responsi-
ble for and giving _-
them the informa- : -""
tion and resources .. :.;;. .
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necessary to brmg ./
the will of their dasses ""-->
to bear on how and where the money is
spent
. : / ,. /-
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Per r y
amounts of money involve:i are large and
will cootinue to inaease while govemmmt
funding boc"Omes more uncertain" the influ-
erIce the WEEP can exert to solve these
problems will increase through the years.
ParticuJarly important are these first few
years ci the WEEP's ex.istmce in setting a
pre:e:imt for professionalism in manage-
mmt and spmding decisions so that the
WEEP continues to grow in impar1ance
and esteem.
I see the position of Endowment Direc-
tor as primarily one of communication. If
e1ecbrl I would like to increase communi-
cation at allieveis, class reps, departments,
and directors. By provjding more informa-
tiro as to the Endowmmt'saims, past
spending patterns and funding priorities,
better funding decisions can be made. By
providing more information to those inter-
esta::i in making proposals as early as possi-
ble, the quality of proposals may be
increased With more communication be-
tween studmts and Faculty I hope that
there will be greater understanding
amongst the Faculty of the a.ncems of stu-
dents and I will work towards creating an
atmaiphere of cooperation rather than ron-
lid
I wouJdalso like to involve more stu-
dmts with the administration of the WEEP
so the quality of management does not de-
teriorate as the Director's position bfmmes
more demanding.
The WEEF's missioo is to improve the
quality of undergraduate mgineering at
the University of Waterloo.l hope with
your support to do just that as Fndowment
Fund Director.
Vote
1
I am currently in 2B Systems and have
been involve:i extensively with the WEEF
since my lA term. Serving my class as En-
dowment rep for the first term I thm be-
came an assistant director to Dave Morton
for the proceeding terms. In addition I have
also been on the WEEP Board of Directors
for aver one and a half years now. In that
time, I have worked on a wide variety of
Endowment proje:ts ranging from the Em-
ployer Matching Cootribution program to
rewriting the funding propaW fonns.
(Don
1
t Forget Your Student Card)
I believe exterlsive involvemmt with the
Endowment has givm me the experience
and oversightne::essaty to organize aM
lead the stucierlt txxfy to take control of the
WEEP. H elected, aside from making spe-
cific organizatiooal changes (look for de-
tails on my posters), I plan to continue to
work 00 the Employer Matching Contribu-
tion program. as well as develop a more ef-
ficient system for checking proposals
(particularly chocking that we get the
best pa;sible pricing 00 hardware).
9:00 - 16:00
W/##/##/#///#////////////#//////////////////#///////////#/##///#///#///##//////h
Peter Raschke
Westmount Place Pharmacy
50 Westmount Rd_ N.,Waterloo, ONT
)
OPEN DAILY
Sundays & Holidays
9am -lOpm
11am- 9pm
WE ACCEPT U of W STUDENT HEALTH PLAN

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by Me Again
Engineering is a great place. As I sit here
late at night in the Orifice surrourrled by
some of the best friends 1've made over the
last eight months, I can't help wondering
where my life would be without them. It's
so relieving to cut loo;;e and throw wine
gums am ?lper balls arourrl the room
It's that time in the term when I think a
lot of people start to get reflective abou t
what they're doing am where they're
going. You can almost smell it in the air.
Assignments and projects pile up; joh; and
accommodations get sparse, the weather
gets unfriendly; stress mounts; tension be-
tween friends rears its head; tempers flare
am, worst of all, people die. It all seems to
happen at once and it can really beat down
if you have no support system
There were so many things I wanted to
write about for this issue of the IW. There's
the Maclean's report (which I feel is, for all
intents and purpooes, pretty darn
vant), the new government report on re-
productive technologies a can't
urrlerstand why some women's groups
claim that these technologies rob women of
their power am sexuality), a whole stack of
amazing new CD's (KMIDM, Revolting
Cocks, My life With The Thrill Kill Kult,
Sister Machine Gun, Pigface, Eric's Trip ... )
or even my really rool birthday present
(Ren & Stimpy Xmas aIbumJ). Anyone of
these would have been a joy to write about
but I just never got around to it a know:
cry me a riverl) Could I really be burnt out?
I oouldn't even guess where to begin
talking about this topic Sbange1yenough,
the idea came to me in the mail before the
last issue was even printed.
About two weeks ago, I was having an-
other really crappy day a think it was the
day I got my dismal Controls midterm
back from my professor). I walked into the
Orifice and peered into my mailbox (top
row, centre). Oooooh, 1 got a letter! It was
from Disney studios. The return address
had the name Ollis Williams charcoaled
into it Could it be? My hards
were shaking as I opened the en-
velope with my important-mail-
only Blue Jays letter opener.
Whoopee! It really was a letter
from one of my biggest heroes,
Ollis Williams.
For those of you who don't
know (or don't care), Ouis
Williams is the guy responsible
for the cartoon in the Imprint
called Intelligent Humour. Sin:e
lA, I've been oollecting each
episode 1 could get my mi tts on al-
mostrcligiously. In previous
terms, I looked forward to Fridays
just to see if there would be a new
Intelligent Humour in the Im-
print More often than rot, if there
wasn't one, I wouldn't bother
looking at the rest of the ?lper. It's kinda
sad. Recently though, Intelligent Humour
appeared less and less frequently until it
just seemed to drop right out of existence.
What the heck was going on here?
The very first day of the t:enn, 1 trucke:i
on down to the Imprint office in order to
introdure myself to Ken Bryson and gather
some infonnation for my own interests.
One of the things I inquired about was
Ouis Williams' phone number. "Oh sure.
Here it is! We're expecting to get a new In-
telligent Humour any time now. Not to
wony!" (Of oowse, I'm paraphrasing but
you get the idea.)
Hmmm, maybe it would be worth call-
ing just to see what he was actually like. I
got his Mom on the phone. She was sur-
prised to hear anyone ask for Ouis because
she just assumed that all his friends knew
that he was in Aorida. Huh!?!
Well, 10 am behold, it seems that Ouis
Williams was taking some animation
courses this summer and was discovered
by someone from Disney. He was invited
to Orlando to work in the Disney studios
am was the only Canadian to do so. I was
kind of shocke:i that no one else seemed to
know. Something had to be done. I wrote a
letter, made some phone calls and crossed
my fingers.
1 have 10 say the effortreallY?lyed off.
Not only did I get a really great letter, but I
also got a hand drawn fIame of Intelligent
Humour, featuring none other than Rusty
am NummyGummy,my two most
favouritest characters a told you I was al-
most religious about it). So, here it is: the
only really brand new Intelligent Humour
in almost two whole tenns! Enjoy; I did.
The thing that we oould all use most right
now is a good laugh. It still kills me.
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...
Canadians really seem to have the need tomobiles. Key. Other automobiles. If
for speed. Why is it that we have this un- there is little or nothing else on the road
controllable desire to exceed the speed with you, all you will detect is the radar di-
limit? Are we so repressed am oontrolled rectly hitting your car and then it's too late.
in other ways that it is the only rebellious Different frequencies of radar show difer-
outlet left to us? Our even more anally re- ent scattering characteristics. X-band radar
tentive neighbours to the south do not scatters far and wide and you can probably
seem to imbibe in this fashion, at least not detect it as far as a kilometre from its
to the same extent source, KA-band, on the other hand, may
Speeding in the States is a phenomenon only register a few blips on the detector be-
seldom witnessed. Somewhere around fore you are in the direct beam.
midnight on 1-75 bY?lSSing Athens, Gear- The amount of warning your radar de-
gia the whole freeway was doing a whop- tector can give you limits how much you
ping 75 mph in a 55 wne. Oh no. 120 can exceed the speed limit You have to be
km/h. I thought that was the unofficial back down at or below the limit often with-
speed limit on the 401 (which, of course, by in several seconds of the time the detector
Canadian standards, means you can ex- beeps or lights up or both. If traffic is light
ceed it by 20 km/h). I believe there is a and KA-band radar is in use, you might be
highway out West though with an official safe driving 20 km/h over the limit, if you
limit of12O km/h in places, 110 km/h for are alert Slamming on the brakes and
sure. While some states are setting rural in- causing a rear-ender sort of defeats the pur-
terstate speeds at 55 mph for safety and pose.
fuel conservation, Canadians are trying to Of course there are a lot of other sources
pass low-flying aircraft in their autorn<r of radar besides speed detection devices,
biles. and your radar detector will pick these up
Of oowse we have to take regional too. Distinguishing the false alaIms from
habits into account Western Canada just the real thing, even on familiar roads is
doesn't speed as much. They also support somewhat of a gamble. Even other cars
the Refonn?lfty. Canada's highways start with detectors can set yours off. Where
to move faster and faster as you work your radar detectors are legal, it is often these
way east, reaching the peak somewhere false alarms that end up slowing the whole
between Belleville and Kingston on the highway down A little intelligenre can
401. Then the speed tapers off very gradu- screen out most false alarms. If the detector
ally as you approach Montreal. An exam- beeps, look for the source. A gas station,
pIe: a friend well versed in the restaurant, industry. But the cops know
Montreal-Toronto 401 oorridor, driving an- where the false alarms are and use them to
other friend's car with BC plates out of Ni- screen their own radar traps. I almost got
agara Falls on the QEW at speeds of, well, caught once in Washington on a route 1
similar to those of the Belleville-Kingston knew well where a local gas station had a
run, passing (big time) other cars with B.C strong beam of KA-band. The only reason
plates. The looks he was getting basically I was saved is that the detector in the car I
asked: "What the hell part of B.C are you was driving distinguishes the band of
from?" radar detected, and I picke:i up the oop's
What I am actually getting at is that K-band speed trap before the gas station
Canadian driving habits would probably was in range.
improve with the legalization of radar de- With laser radar (non-detoctable) avaiJ-
tection devices. Let's let the jury stay out able, sensing speed traps becomes an even
on whether speed is a good thing or a bad greater gamble. If radar detectors were
thing, but should the speed enforcement legal in Ontario, you as a driver would
officers want theirjobs made easier ... I'll have to oonsider how much you spend in
explain All States (but three) are detector- speeding fines and if a few hundred bucks
legal, and according to my somewhat un- on a detector might save you money in the
reliable sources, the western provinces also end. In most cases though, you will get at
(at least they don't have that "radar detec- least one speeding ticket after installing a
tion devices are illegal" reminders every 20 detector while you are learning how to use
feet after you cross the border). And peo- it From my own observations, reckless
pIe drive slower and more speeders who decide that a radar detector
obediently in these locales, will save money (and/or demerit points)
l
though you probably .:;y buy their detector and end up changing
would expect the oppo--- their driving habits anyway to make use of
a S
site. the device. And if they legalized radar de-
Most people in On- A tectors in Ontario, I know a whole bunch of
tariodon'tknow how to you who will be lining up to buy one. Just
dri ve with a radar dele<: remember, it doesn't make a whole lot of
tor (for obvious reasons), but it doesn't give sense to have something in your car simply
you the freedom you probably think it to let you know that the cop did get you on
does. Radar detectors work by alerting dri- radar and is going to pull you over. Detec-
vers that there is radar in use in the area. tors are just as much as an affront to your
They detect scattered radar from other au- Ireedom as speed traps themselves.

(W
To the Edtors,
Nausea! Guk:huming nausea! This is
the any way in which I a1 descrDe the
revulsion I felt I read last week's edtion
of the p.JbIication entiUed "EnginewsIette.
Snide. PuriIe. DevOO cI BIlY form cI inte1-
lectual conIa1t, let alone humour. In my
opi"lion the
week after cteadfuI week its sniggering
contempt for evm the sIarKiards
of university journalism. To us, the wri1ers
of this lepese1t nothilg more than
a bunch cI spoiled ciliIcten, trro.W1g a
party the weekend morrrny and dad:jy
Wei Engneering Society,I
thi1k it's time monrny and dad:jy came
home, m I9TlCMld !his weedy affront to
the mind ax! spiit cI its rerrllrs.
Sinoerely,Hoss. Stytes & HaM<
DearIW
Frrst cI all, I woold just Ike to say heM!
toobIy cJerrghted I wac; to see that you
g-eat folks cbM1 there at the lroo Warricr
printing house had sele::ted my article for
printing. I wac; <boctJte/y fIabergasted.
Simply fabulous. Although I dK:I have oon-
cerns about the pIooement cI the piece in
the "ArtS' section. I you rouId
justify some kind cI .E-Mail sarll)Iing'
schizo-art, but woold be stretching the
point. I think the jist cI my frierd's writing
wac; that Mr. Crichton wac; making
fices 'VI the side cllEgtinate sciEn;e and
technology to make his writing more aa:e-
si>Ie to the general ptb-
lie.
Patrick's concern is that peqlIe su::h
Crichton are perpeIuaIilg a kind of social
reality where the general plbIie is being
kElP in the dari< about real &:ientific i&-
sues. Inste!rj, the aJthor chosen to
aweaI to the COIT\ITlOI"l desire for IuOO
1ciI. Ths alone isn' a problem, exrept
whe1 his aedDIity a knc7Nn scientist is
used 10 rjve his fiction some kind cI truth.
I oontilued q.JeSIiooing Mr. Keeirg
along the ines cI basic resE9"Ch. I have
my 0Vtfl problems \Wh the general per-
ceptioo cI reseat:h, ax! wa<l ruious to
kro.v Mr. KeeIilgs pooiIiorI. I just
!i(e to repeat that the person who I Em
001 espoI King with is a Mr. PaIrk:k I<E&
ing, curenIIy working boVcId9 a PhD. i1
genetics at DaI10usie UniYersity .
---- - --- -------
The IW
ERNfE THE
WORD5 OF WISDOM i HOME. CHEAp HOME.
Many of the fros", been
wooed to by h'3
h
c()-op
were in for
'" So..... "'ill hove 1"10
ih 2nd rounds. On fhe bri9ht side,
1IJis will '3iv(. them a chane<- h,
0. shov\:. lost Mohdo.y ... ,----1 \heir nei\'o)rk109
) slc.ills.
;-
Hi. I'm Dave.
I've got the plan. I've got the people
Theplan: To have a good time.
The people: EVe!)'one.
Who thinks Engineering should be a
whole lot of fun, and more than just inte-
grals and building a better mouse trap? I
think it can be a lot more exciting than inte-
grating. You may find that hard to believe,
but that's just me_ I like to see people hav-
ing fun, doing whatever they think is fun.
The more fun people are having, the better.
That's why I want to be your V.P. Internal
With the type of folks wf!ve got in Engi-
neering, wf!ve got the energy and idea side
oovered, and all trere is to do is get the
events going, and make sure you know
about them. With my background as a
class rep and co-op experience (yes, I have
some), I can get these crazy people togeth-
er, get the ideas out and then you can have
the best year of your life.
The summer tenns are always a blast
volley ball, cycling, chili cooking, full ron-
tact tanning, and so much more. It's so
hard to keep going to classes (sony, I can't
do much about your TA's), but I'll make
sure that you know what crazy stuff is
going down
Don' t forget, but there is life outside of
Engineering, and that would fall under this
position as well, and I won't forget about it
There is something for eYeI)'one, on and
around campus, and there is no excuse not
to have fun. except if you don't know
about it, and I'\l make sure that doesn't
happen.
I've got ideas, but I don't have all of
them. Let me know what you want to
happen and, who knows, you might just
have fun.
Synopsis of Dave:
Oass rep for last three tenns
ESSCO director last term
Recipient of Oass Rep award last term
All round good guy?
Surviving
PI ... now we G(ln
odd yo u to our
of
p'1oc.e.4
in re.\.wan! H
Once upon a time, as a young and im-
pressionable high school student ponder-
ing the endless po6Slble paths my future
could take, my mother informed me that
when she was in W1iversityengineerswere
known to work the hardest and party the
hardest Being the well disciplined daugh-
ter that I was, I listened to my mother and
here I am in 38 0lemica1 Engineering run:-
ning for the Engineering Society position of
VP Internal_
From day one, when I was a Fresh
crawling through the mudpit (we could
use mud back then) to this term, when
again I was crawling through whatever
that ronroction was, (this time as a Red
HUGE frosh leader), I knew engineering
was the right chJice. As Co-SociaJ Director
z
e
in my 3A and 3B tem) the!\.' h..lW '0
times when the partying Iv soutweighed
the hard work, but it is for thl'\)(.'Ocfit of all
my fclIow cngine 'n!. Thi! L'l cvid.:t11 by the
large tum out for <.'Vents that 1, along with
both Sue and ml, have organi7.cd. ihc
Brun.'lwick House Road Trips, Oktnbcrf
Blue Mountain Skl Trip and "iced ll>a" par-
ties at M<Ginnis arc just som ' of the ('Vents
brought to you by the Soci, 1 Dirt'Cton;.,
An important part of the VP Inlcffi."I\ p0-
sition is coordinating even Is to encourage
spititand fun tima3 not only within Eng
Soc bulalso with the other faculties on
campus. La'lt term I, sistcd in planning a
nightatFcd Hall whercstudcntsfrom UW
Enginccring, UW Applied HClIthStudics,
McMaster and Guelph Engin<.'CIing (tme
out and had a blast Oktolx.'lfcst this year
was also organiL.L'Ci in cooperation with
Math Soc and the lnter University Engi-
neering Night at the Twist was a great suc-
cess last Thursday. Continuel planning
and support for events involving different
faculties as well as other universities is one
of my goals as VP Intcmal.
Communication is a large parlof the VP
Internal's duties for Eng Soc. Events must
be publici7..ed, a liaison for the internal di-
rectors is nceded, the minutes a t Eng Soc
meetings must be recorded and if one of
the other executive or directors is not avail-
able or caMoi fulfU theiTdllties lhcVPIn-
tema1 fills in. I fccl that I am very qualified
in both the areas of communication and
dependability that are important to the VP
lntemal position.
Once the rommW1ication between inter-
nal directors and the VP Intemal is exrep-
tiOna!, when Engineers are no longer
feared by other faculties but welromed
with open arms (and vice versa), when the
minutes are recorded after every meeting,
when spirit in the Engirv:!ering Society is
prenomenal and when eve!)' engineer is
infonned about, attends and has fun at
eve!)' event then - and only then will I
know that J have aa::omplished all the
things I aimed for as VP Internal.
c e
--i
-:J
CD
-

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9{f,mem6erecf
Near Poets Pub
A stalwart few
Remembered them -
The Band played too
o Canada
And Steve read throu$h
"In Flander's Fields .
The Dean spoke then
Of brave young women
Killed or tortured
For leading men
Across to Spain.
The Last Post played;
Some Systems aoIt
Boldly displayed
How modern folk :;;..:
Can't take a mmute ;;.
To stop and wait -
He just walked through.

,
jlf
A Tearful
Lament
AlCoH20liCs
Gather round, children,
Listen to our song A L ....
temble lament 0 where ........
has it gone?

Ogoldenshiningbeauty,Apple t
of our eye. From Poets, blazing '"
on high Uke an angel in the sky!
I scream with tortured anguish,
Blast! Zounds! Curses!!!! She is gore!
WOO would have the gall? The
ignorance, thenexve?To
rovet our sacred banner, 0 blessrl
P"'5 banner!
,
iknoW
i think i understanD
all the rules noW
i think i understanD
what this is all abouT.
someday will iT
it will make sensE
i know what i aM
j know what i aM.
look what you' re doing to mE.
looking bacK
you waited, insanE
looking bacK
i reached the enD
fthechaiN
i know where i aM
i know where i aM.
look what you've done to mE.
he spokE
the rest just left a notE
he spokE
to knoW
his souL
i know who i aM
i know woo i aM.
iknoW.

But war goes on ...--.
In Bosnia
o valiant UW Engineers, Rise up in
anger, In fwy, Rage and screamJ And
take back our sacred banner. Fulfill
our longing dreaml
Malibu Stacey
Somalia
Cambodia
And some might say ........
The time has rome to redaim the banner.
Appearing live in POETS
on Thursday November 25th
at 2pm
Columbl.a:
We're lucky here ..:J
In Canada;
Remember it.
IlxJl!il1!!j!i1!

it ] lj i

Jd}Uij I-
..........


1fi I'H .1"5
1
t:Q
1111'1)lrl !IIIIJI
,.....

i "i .. US. f -i "P
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........

]d i 8



r
Vall Kieswetter's
Music Reviews 2B Ci'lJiI-
1)
RUSH
Counterparts
Anthem
Rush has returned in 1m with
"Counterparts", the follow up to
1991's "Roll the Bones". Over the
past 2O)'6\rs Rush has produced
me of the best music to corne out
of Canada. Their originality, expert
musicianship and will.ingne:s to
change wi th the times has l'elped
them to stand the test of time. Keep-
ing this in rnin:i, it's not too surpris-
ing that "Counterparts" is a
deliberate attempt to bring thebaro full ci.rdewitha'return to their roots' ..
For the most part "Counterparts" is a guitar oriented - the
Alex Ufeson has been waitingquiteawhiJe for. Although a bttheaVier than m re-
cent}'SUS, the qualities that define Rush are all till present. The songs "Between
Sun & Moon", "The Speed of Love" and "Alien Shore" show this particularly well .
The bass heavy instrumental "Leave That Thing Alone" shows the of
RuSh at work again. In fact, it'slike1y that most people wouldn't even think of Rush
after hearing this song. As far as fast paced rockers are concerned, "Cut to the
0Iase", "Cold rue" and the sinister "Double Agent" show Rush can still pack
plenty of power in to their music. The first single "Stick itOut" is a very raw, harsh
song that seems to demonstrate the band's attitude towards 'grunge' with Neil
Peart's immaculate drumming also helping to cany the entire album to greater
heights.
For thooe people who thought that Rush was getting a little too complex for their
tastEs, "Counterparts" is a new avenue you should definitely explore. Think
it - turning the synths down while cranking up Geddy Lee's bass and Alex Life..
son's guitar can (:mly lead to better things.
You may remember the first Lei ZeppelinIour disk boxed set being released during the autumn of 1990. It
soon became the biggest selling boxed set of all time - that is, pos5lbly until now.
Recently, the complement to the original set, "Boxed Set '1:' was released, thus providing the rest of Zep's stu-
dio recordings. However, also available is ''The Complete Studio Recording1', an incred.lbly packaged ten disk
set providing exactly what the title indicatEs. As a bonus, both sets include the previously track
"Baby Come on Home", a song recorded during the sessions for Lei Zep's first album. Although It'S not a bad
song, it pales in comparison to 'Travelling Riverside Blues" or "Hey What Can I Do".
What more is there to say? The name Lei Zeppelin speaks for itself and practically all of their material has
proven to be excellent. If you find you don't have much of a collection, the of any the three sets
is a worthy buy, watching your budget of course. Also, keep m mmd the rumours which are saymg after the
Ouistmas rush all of the individual Lei Zeppelin albums will be recalled, leaving only the boxed sets to
from. I wouldn't wony too much though. I'm sure they'll be reissued sometime in the m-
duding updated liner notEs and the whole bit - similar to what has been done recently Wlth Jlffil Hendrix's back
catalogue.
LED ZEPPELIN
One last thing .. .anotherru-
mour has it that Lei Zeppelin
is going to reform (like wf!ve
never heard that before), but
only to perform aU M1V
unplugged performance. .. is
there no end to it?
The Complete Studio Recordings -

drop nineteens national coma

Atlantic
;
Drop Nineteens are not the
same group they were six
months ago, In more ways than
one. Three of the five members
who made their debut CD
Delaware have now left, either
to return to school or start their
own bands, replaced by three
new members, and the change
is very audible on their new CD,
National Coma. The new sound
is not actually a radical change,
but rather is more of a pursuit of
the grunge sound they initiated
on Delaware in Winona and the
title track. The result is a kinder,
gentler Drop Nineteens, and a darn good CD.
If the CD liner notes are any indication, the songs are
written by the group as a whole, except that the lyrics
are written by Greg Ackell, one of the two remaining
original members. The influence of the new members,
(or the absence of the influence of the original
members), seems to have been to focus the direction
of the group into a straightforward sort of grunge pop,
with a sound similar to Velocity Girl, Love Battery, and
their Caroline label-mates, Smashing Pumpkins, Gone is the variety
of their debut CD, the brooding melodies of Kick The Tragedy, the
angst of Happen, and the acoustic simplicity of My Aquarium.
While the Drop Nineteens of Delaware brought to mind Lush and My
Bloody Valentine, the Drop Nineteens of National Coma are much
more reminiscent of Sloan, Throwing Muses, and Sonic youth.
The good thing about the change is that the group seems to
now be taking itself less seriously, so hopefully they have outgrown
their precocious wunderkind stage. They even show that they have
a social conscience, with a pro-dolphin, anti-tuna-fishing song, An
Swimmers Are Brothers.
The bad thing about the change is that the variety was a
large part of the charm of Delaware, especially since the group
demonstrated a lot of talent in all the different musical forms.
However, although National Coma doesn't have the exceptional
songs that stand out like Delaware had, National Coma is more
consistent than Delaware, without any of Delaware's poor songs.
First of all two
disclaimers.
Number one. My
knowledge of early
Iggy is extremely
limited. I know that
he started a group in
Iggy Pop
American Caesar
1993 Virgin Records America Ltd.
the late sixties named The Stooges and that he co-wrote songs with David
Bowie in the later seventies while not making love with him. I know he
had a pretty nifty song around 1979 called 5'1". I like it.
Number two. I own the two Iggy albums previous to this one, Cold Metal
and Blah Blah Blah and I think they were pretty bad, all
considering.
Now, what does that mean for American Caesar? Well, Iggy was
coming to bat with two strikes on the count in my books. My
confidence in his ability to produce an album with more than a few
good songs surrounded by junk was low. American Caesar isn't
terribly strong as a whole piece either, but the single highlights are
bigger and the surrounding junk isn't quite as junky.
The Single, Wild America is incredible, and is thoroughly what I
think of as Iggy. It makes me want to move like he looks if that e
makes any sense. The music is meant to be played loud and the
lyrics are humourous, introspective and personal, an inSight into F"'\
Iggy's persona. And this is one thing that strikes me aboutthjs
album and Iggy in general. He's getting to be an old guy and his
music sounds like it. No more childish, I'm so in love and she
thinks I'm a spider stuff. It just wouldn't be right to hear a fifty year
old singing about this.
Other notables on the album are Caesar, the last track and a
rousing, new world order cover of Louie Louie. Caesar seems
very much like a Fall song, with its slightly off meter and
monotonous bass line (I must like it
because I'm an engineer, Sandy) and
combined with lines from
Shakespeare. Nice.
This album certainly wasn't a home
run, but I'm certain Iggy will at least
get another at bat.

o
o
o
.r:::.
o
:t::
I
<D
>
o
o
>-
.0
The PBD Team
On Saturday November 13
at 7: 30 pm sixteen Engi-
neering students were ar-
raigned on charges of
possession of stolen prop-
erty. These white-collar
offenders had apparently
gained possession of six-
teen briefcases and were
intent on using them for
unlawful purposes. The ac-
cused retained the services
of paralegal Henry Murch-
land to co-ordinate the de-
fense, as the trial was to
be held at 7:40 pm on the
same night. The trial was
to be held at centre court
at the UW facilities for
Justice and Basketball.
Murch opted for trial-by-
jury and proceeded to hand
select 2000 people to serve
as jurors.
described as "less than the
100 mph top speed of a
cheetah". Brent Potts, an
anonymous source, depicted
the courtroom scene as
"Quite simply the best
thing I ' ve never seen".

o
rt

r,
t-cJ
5
rt
o
o
o
::s
rt
(D
(J)
rt
Murch's brilliantly
choreographed defense was
composed of several sur-
prise manouvers which were
executed with precise tim-
ing. This onslaught of
technique caught the imme-
diate attention of the jury
and hushed the Crown from
the outset. The accused
won the jurors over with
such manouvers as the 'Syn-
copated Turn', 'The
Schwing', and the ever pop-
ular 'Domino Effect' .
When all was said and
done, the jury acquitted
the accused and gave a
thundering round of ap-
plause to the engineers for
a job well done. At the
post-trial celebrations a
spokesman from the Institu-
tion for Advanced Planning
of Precision Briefcase
Drill Teams offered the de-
fendants a contract to per-
form throughout the
country. Plans are cur-
rently in the works for a
second appearance this Sat-
urday. Thanks were extend-
ed to Rob McGeachy who,
along with the UW Band,
provided the theme music
which has become so impor-
tant to Made-for-television
movies. For those who were
not qble to watch the pro-
ceedings Saturday night, a
special re-enactment may be
provided for the End Of
Term Pub. Tickets can be
obtained by contacting Mark
Vidler and remitting the
sum of not less than 10
dollars.
Identify this issue's mystery target and you will win 14
photos (Slightly used) of the esteemed SKJ, IW layout
editor directorship or
These procedures were per-
formed at a pace which was
Schwarzenegger and The
Engineering Student
Action Heroes - First and Last
After last week's article on Sesame Street, I received many comments. Most of these were compliments, but some
were of the more negative sort. One example is 'This Sesame St. shot is for wimps and bed-wetters! What real people,
the ones who watch action movies/IV shows?" Well, seeing as I share the interests of these knuckle-draggers this arti-
cle is about action shows.
First it should be detennined what a classic action show is.
Beginning with TV, some examples are: Knight Rider, Automan (anyone remember this one?), GIiPs, Miami Vice,
Dukes of Hazard, Starsky and Hutx::h, Simon and Simon, MacGyver, Increchble Hulk and Wonder Woman (what other
category would these 2 fit into?), the A-Team, and Brisco County Jr. Get the feeling that most of these shows are from
one period in TV history? Well that's because they're ones I remember, mostly rom the late 70s and throughout theOOs.
The best example from this list is theA-Team. It has all of the features that makeup an action show.
They have to be either a small group of widely different personalities, or a lone figure. They have to have a very
strong sense of right and wrong. They feel jt's necessary to chase the bad guys to the ends of the earth Simply because
they're the bad guys. It doesn't seem to matter to them if they blow up cars left, right, and centre; not to mention all the
property damage. They have to have special abilities the average person doesn't have like a computer hacker, an ex-
cop, intelligence officers for the military, or the ability to find an acetylene torch in the middle of nowhere. They struggle
against a society that doesn't understand them. Usually they have gadgetry that dazzJes the average couch potato.
Come to think of it, Star Trek fits this category pretty well, doesn't it? What with them chasing those Romulans and
Kardaceans. Now that action shows are fairly clearly defined lets move on to the movies.
Although there are tons of action movies, it is hard to dearly define the classics. Movies have much the same ele-
ments as their TV counterparts with a few exceptions. These are that the movies have better special effects, more of a
plot, and more memorable lines. This makes sense if you think about it, because movies can have a budget of up to $100
million compared to a episode of a TV series budget of about $3OO,(XX) to $1 million. More bucks means more booms.
Some examples of real classics are Conan 1&2, Commando, Rambo I-V, Predator 1&2, Bloodsport, James Bond
movies, Sneakers, Under Seige, Rapid Fire, GlUck Nonis' movies, and Bruce Lee's movies. While I realize that there are
thousands more that people would consider really good, these movies have some of the most classic 'action heroeS.
Some classic westerns fit this category, but this list is long enough for this article.
Now to compare a TV show and a movie, lets say Sneakers and the A-Team. Both have gadgets, mind you the A-
Team makes theirs' from scratch. Both have widely varied team members. In Sneakers the team varies from the para-
noid Mother (Dan Aykroyd) to the head-strong and desperate-for-a-date River Phoenix character; this compares to the
ever smooth Fareman and Howling 'Mad' Murddock and the feisty BA Barraccus. The biggest difference seems to be
in the amount of violence. The A-Team can't seem to finish an hour without blowing up at least a dozen cars and send-
ing over 20 helpless enemies flying through the air to land safely off-screen, never dying. Then in Sneakers there's ... and
then they ... Wait a minute! Nothing really explodes in Sneakers, they just poke around and avoid the police and the bad
guys. There's no cars flipping, no bystanders being sprayed with machine-gun fire, NOlHING! I'm sorry about this. It
doesn't even belong in this lisll.et' s try this again.
One can compare Miami Vice: the TV show, and Under Siege. Both show lots of people dying, some are even inn0-
cent bystanders. In each movie is a F-a dominant personality (white male) and a sidekick (minority). Both have lots of
explooions. Both are the good guys fighting against the bad guys who have them hopelessly outnumbered, outgunred,
and surrounded. Finally both have been highly criticized by the censor committees who hate anything more violent
than a cup of tea. This means that both are pretty good, if you ask me. See they're almost exactly the same thing.
Now on to why we watch these wonderful shows. I could take the easy way out and say that it is because these
shows have simple plots, and good special effects. Nore of this JaIUires, yup you gues;ed it, 'higher brain functions'; so
when we have brain fry from working too hard (which is most of the time) these are just what the doctor ordered.
But there is another solution. equally as valid. Consider this situation: You get an assignment worth 25% of your final
mark You work on jt night and day to the exclusion of everything else. You even ignore Rock' n'Roll Night, and the
new episode of Star Trek. Finally, after hours of sweat and tears, it's done and you hand it in. When you get it back, de-
spite all your 00urs of hard work and self-denial the marker has seen fit to award you the high prize of 7/W. We've all
been trere at one point or an:>ther. The tln.tghts going through your mind are something like: I'm going to kill the T A,
Prof, the Profs dog, that annoying guy in the computer rootTl. the next person I see, or (F) all of the above. Well, this
all the time, and it seem; to be gettingno-e frequent in today's society (theme for another article? hmm..) and
the powers that be frown strongIyonanyonewhoactua1ly acts out these feelings of violence and mayhem what can we
do? You guessed it we can go see a movie in SI!Jl9-SUlTOUrlstereo ona foot screen, and watch/feel it as our
hero/heroineslashes/sroots!blows their way through the enemy yet again. Really, itisa good release of regative em0-
tions. H you're broke, might I suggest going to the gym and worldng out (if you're sti1I mad when you're done you're
too pooped to even hann a fly).
By now, some of you areJeeling rightfully cletfd, and are screaming ''The title mentiored Arnold. WHERE IS HE? I
W ANI SOME ARNOIDNOW!!r' OK. To keep these fans happy I'D iocludea short movie review. LA5f AC-
TION HERQ starring Arnold in 3 different roles. Great movie, made for kids, no real blood-on-fue.wa11s type violence
but it's OK. great satire of typical action movies. H you can'tstand the thought of AmoId being funny: don't see it Awe-
BOrne soundtrack. Satic;fied?
Next issue: Anybody else hate The New TraJ tsfonuers; Generation 2?
The usual exclusions apply.
Photo
Results
Woody is still single, Andy's hand has
healed up nicely and the IW staff are
still looking for somebody to love and
adore.
Yes, that's right, there were no entries
agam.
The UW drama deparbnent presents
Twelfth Night at the Theatre of the Arts on
Wednesday November 24 running through
to Saturday, November 27.
"This twist on Shakespeare's classic
comedy will leave you dancing in the
aisles!"
"Roller blade fans will be impressed with
the fancy blade work of Joel Harris (Feste).
as Dylan Roberts (Sir Toby) models the
absolute limit in '60s fashion wear."
lilt's about youth and passion. And the
fleeting nature of both."
Show time is 8 pm sharp.
Tickets are $8 for students and seniors,
and $10 for the general public. Visit the
Humanities box office for your ticket or call
885-4280
.9lnnouncemen t/
They met in lA, fresh from the
Frosh Week of all time (according to those
who ran it, at least). She was single, under-
age (thou&."t that seemed not to restrict her)
and ready to partY: He was quiet,
and to WaIt while she played the
field. Was It love at filst sight? For him,
maybe. There was some that
suggested Cupid had a hand in iliis from
the start. lhough it took a few months, she
came to realize that the man she wanted had
been right before her eyes all along - in her
owncIass.
Four years later were still together,
though due to unforfunate circumstanceS
urn, moved from that original class.
f\IlQ last Satwday Dight, over Oinner at the
Elora Mill, Gord EdWards asked Jackie
Dragert tq said .yes). From
all your frierds here m Engineerihg, ron-
gratulations.
-
....

Ion
Adam woke up and moved his legs. One of "He's not anywhere," Sir replied as ran low, Adam noticed the problems were
them didn't move. His eyes peerea down to Adam saw RolI put a cloth over tne Lieu- getting shorter and shorter and thank god or
see a chain holding it and following the chain tenant's face. else he'd never get this done for tomorrow.
brought his gaze to the wall of the room "Just because he's a cop doesn't mean you Finally, he got a copy of the last question and
Adam was in. The chain was bolted to a shouldn't rescue him. He tried to save my copied it's one page solution onto a fresh
large pIa te and another chain extended from life" sheet of
it. Adam realized the liKht he was seeing all Sir p,uIled a tube out of his bag and applied a Leaningback Adam said, "This is the worst
this by was from a smoIaering torch, burning soha stream of the grey putty Inside fa the fourteen hours I've ever spent. It's finally
high up on the wall. Adam began to follow plate that held Adam fa The wall. over. Who's actually going to class?"
back tne other chain until it ended in another 'Cover your eyes Adam." "I am," Mike uE.
who was shackled in a similar manner He did so but still saw a bright light through He quickly had a pile of thirty, sixty page as-
as himself. his. hands and eyelids and felt a Burning sen- piled up in front or him Wltn an
"Lieutenant Graham!" Adam shouted out. sation over his body. The plate fell to tne of thanks.
"Quiet Adam, we don't want them coming floor. "Shi
back in here." "Climb Adam." "I can't believe you said that Mike," Adam
Adam noticed several dark bruises about the With one hand on the rope Adam stopped, admonished. "I never would have got that
Lieutenant's face and neck. "I'm not leaving withouf Lieutenant Gra- done if I hadn't left out an operation here
"What haRpened sir?" Adam whispered in a ham!" and there."
much subaued tone. "I remember, God, I "Adam, he didn't try to save you, he was "What do you mean, you left out some oper-
don't think I want to remember." part of the cult you were about to kill for. ations!"
"Don't worry Adam, you didn't do any- Now climb the goddamn rope or we'll leave "Sure Mike, they were intuitive." (Adam had
thing." you here." convinced himself.)
"Bun remember ... " :Adam, shocked, started to climb. Looking "Yeah Adam, but I copied from you. I left
"You fainted before you could do anything, down at the limp body of the Lieutenant, out some 'intuitive' steps also."
it was already too late for me though." Adam suddenly realized how chubby and "Me too," added Steve.
"I don't catcn your meaning." dark haired he was. Sir and Rolf followed Soon everyone was nodding there heads in
"I really didn't think you'dOe able to go Adam up the rope into a hole in the ceiling. agreement.
through with that killing, but for that guy's Five engmeers surrounded the hole and once "No wonder by the time I was finishing, the
sake lcouldn't take that chance. So I carne Sir was1hrough they quickly lowered a block questions seemed so short. I actually solved
running through the crowd to try and stop back into place closmg it up. some in one page," Adam said.
you ana that madman. I didn't get very far A voice from a face hidden in hands crept
though." "What do you mean he escaped?" out. "One page, the solution to half the prob-
"Is Tfev, dead?" "The eng!neers rescued him." lems I wrofe down in one line! We're dead."
"You know him? Well, I'm sorry to tell you "Why dlan't you stop them, we put y.ou in "Well, I can't worry' about this any more. I
he's very dead, bled like a stucK pig." there just in case of something liKe iliis." have to get over to Dearborn HalL"
"He was my room mate. I coulcfu'f stand "They dropped down on me without any, Adam got up and left.
him, god knows I tried to like him but I warning! There was nothing I could do. ' "He's going to get in trouble hanging out
coulan't. Is it wrong that I don't feel for "No, thIs is where you are wrong. Prepare with tKose guys," Mike said to Steve.
him?" Graham for the block. Your blood wilf do
-,
"Probably, but who am I to judge." olenty." "It's about time you've shown up," Sir said.
"What were you doing here f/No,_please no Fabio ... " "We have a lot to talk about."
"Following you of course. You don't think "Ancrget some people ,up to check out where "I know. I need to know what's going on."
we could Just let you go being obviously con- they carne from. Tnere aren't supposed to be "I really don't know much more Than you
neeted to all the maynem thafs happened any tunnels up there dammit. do."
around here. One officer even thou ht .h'bi
e
tm.t."
sa w you at the OTgywe broke-up if eal' z am, 1 s:a me "f wonaer why they want you so badly."
hall a couple weekS back." shown up. You weren't here so I rew for Heather walked. in. ''It sounds like you two
"I was." lOU. You got problem number 21." are talking to yourselves why don't you try
"Oh, you are just a centre of c:Ie- 'What are you talking about Mike." talking to eacn other? Oh, Adam, thOt' S a
struction It seems. We knew you were 10- "Don't tell me you forgot about the Algebra nice fflend you have."
valved in all this someway and you were our assignment due next class." "Who arc you talking about IIl'tlth -r?"
ticket in." "Sht1!" "Why, Lisa of course. Sh ,IS been sl x-ping in
"You were just using me, you couldn/t care "Don/t worry, I've got it all arranged. There my room for the last two nights."
about my safety!" are twenty eight in the floorlounge "Thank you. It's good to know sh 's .11-
"That's not true Adam." right now eaCh doing a question. I have to righl."
"Well how corne you carne alone? You do number six and you do yours and we'll "Il's the least 1 could do for a ft.'l\ow Kin stu
should have known 'ou couldn/t have done have all the questions done." dent, even if she isn't enrolled yt'l. I have to
anything by yoursel. You would have let "Sound's like a good plan Mike, thanks for go, if you two could work togcth(.lr you
me die to maKe sure you had got in unno- including mel even tnough I couldn't make it mighfjust figure something ouL"
ticed. How corne you're tied up here, where here sooner." "SO woat exactly do you know Sir?"
are the rest of the police?" "Well we better get to it." "The cult calls itself fue Latino conglomeratc'.
"They'll be here Adam, don't worry. There is Adam walked into the lounge with a Rencil, There aren't any Latinos in it as far as r can
something more important we've got to talk the assignment and about ten sheets of tell."
about. You're friend, Lisa, where is she?" raper. n was a frenzy. "That would explain why Alex has all those
"What, is something wrong?" 'Adam," someone snouted, "What do you names."
"No Adam, we knew that She contacted you do? Write microscop'ically? Don't tell me "Who's Alex?"
and wanted to make sure she was safe. We you didn't buy a pack of paper, 1 don't think "The head guy of course."
visited her at Inn the City but we must have we have enough fa cover you." "You knownis real name? He's alwa,Ys used
spooked her because she's not there any- "Don't worry,l have more back in my room." rseudonyms before, you arc special.'
more. Do you know where she is Adam?" "Hey Adam," Steve cried out. 'Why arc they killing people? '
"No." "How are you doing Steve." "I don't know for sure, they seem to be col
"Any idea at all? I'm sure you can see how "Fine. I just wanted to say I was sorry for be- lecting the blood for something. We're not
important this is." , fore." sure fOr what though. I think we need to
"Sne's a smart girl and knows how to take "It's okay." teach you how to protect y'ourself."
care of hersel.l don't know what you guys "No, I was just thinking about myself. 1 real- Adam followed Sir down into the basement
did to her, but it must have been sometfiing ized that my friends mean more to my well- of pearborn Hall where much to his surprise,
for her to run off." being than looking out for myself does." they didn't enter any tunnels.
"Fine then." "Thanks Steve." "There is an old rifle range down here. I'm
"Fine," Adam replied. going to teach you how fo shoot."
Adam got down to work and after about two Sir uruocked a cabinet and took out an auto-
A mass dropped onto Adam's face waking hours and eight pages, had worked out the matic pistol and slapped in a full magazine.
him up. Then a much larger mass, a hancr final matrix.lt amy took about one hundred He handed it to Adam.
over rus mouth. and twenty operations. Adam was proud. "Flip this switch here, it's called the safety
Sir's voice rang out clearly. "Be quiet Adam. Everyone else was pretty well finisKed their and you can't fire until it's in this position."
We're here to get you out." own problems and they began circulating Adam rapidly unloaded the eighfbullets in
The hand was removed and Adam struggled them to each other to done. Adam got to the magazine into the tar&et downrange.
up to see what was happening. work after getting more paper. The nrst "You've done this before.
Rolf dropped to the ground and quickly po- problem Adam craned was about the same "It was a long time ago," Adam said as he
sitioned himself behind Lieutenant Graham, size as his. "I'll just droR this operation out. smiled. "I wasn't sure I'd remember how."
covering his mouth with one hand, pulling It's an intuitive step," Aaam thought. He cut Sir retrieved the target and looked at two
the Lieutenant's head back against his own the size of the problem down by naif a page. tight groupings of Dullet holes, one in the
chest. A pair of bolt cutters carne out of a "Okay, I need another problem." forehead and another in the chest of the tar-
satchel Su was carrying and he tried to cut "Sure, here's a copy of number three," some- get.
the chain securing Adam. They didn't work. body answered. "Do you have sixteen?" Adam smiled wider.
"Damn, I was afraid of that. The new alloy "No, not the original, but here's my copy." "Well, you might as well keep the gun and
we were working on in the materials lab Adam wrote hiS name down on each page here are two fUll magaZines.
didn't 'just go mISsing' after all." and handed it over.
"What about the Lieu1enant Sir?" As the night wore on and the Jolt reservoirs There was an explosion overhead.
l7nd
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