LISTENING It is not possible to do the job or a routine work with out listening.

Listening skills play an important role in overall communication process and are essentially important for sales personnel who directly communicate with customers. Not only the sales personnel but many people are poor listeners in their everyday life. Listening is often confused and interchangeably used with hearing. There is a major difference between listening and hearing. Hearing is a physical act while listening is the act of hearing while also retaining and comprehending the information. Listening is active while hearing is passive. Though everyone knows the importance of listening skills when communicating to each other but very few pay attention to their listening skill and this often becomes a major barrier to effective communication. It is revealed by several studies that adults typically listen at only 25% efficiency level and experts agree that poor listening skills are the biggest contributors to poor communication. It is not just listening but skillful listening is what is needed in this competitive world. Skillful listening generally involves ability to evaluate ideas, recognize the difference between fact and opinion, use questioning and feedback to clarify communication, recognize loaded language, and recognize common listening barriers. Listening may fall into any of the categories mentioned below: Active listening: Active listening is a way of listening and responding to another person that improves mutual understanding. You listen closely to content and intent. You try to block out barriers to listening. Most importantly, you are non-judgmental and empathetic. Inactive listening: The definition of this is the old adage, "In one ear and out the other." Inactive listening is simply being present when someone is speaking, but not absorbing what is being said. You hear the words, but your mind is wandering and no communication is taking place. Selective listening: Selective listening is hearing what you want to hear or what you expect to hear instead of what is being said. You hear some of the message and

immediately begin to formulate your reply or second guess the speaker without waiting for the speaker to finish. Reflective Listening: This is one of the most complex types of listening. It involves actively listening, interpreting what is being said and observing how it is being said. You work to clarify what the speaker is saying and make sure there is mutual understanding. When one is involved in the communication process he may be engaged with any of the above listening skills or may some times combination of all. Poor listening usually occur due to lack of control over the speed at which speakers speak, not being able to get things repeated, the listener's limited vocabulary, failure to recognize the "signals", problems of interpretation, inability to concentrate, and even may be due to some established learning habits BAD LISTENING PRACTISES The business of becoming a good listener primarily consists of getting rid of bad listening habits and replacing them with their counterpart skills. Calling the Subject Dull Bad listeners often finds a subject too dry and dusty to command their attention and they use this as an excuse to wander off on a mental tangent. Good listeners may have heard a dozen talks on the same subject before, but they quickly decide to see if the speaker has anything that can be of use to them. The key to good listening is that little three-letter word use. Good listeners are sifters, screeners, and winnowers of the wheat from the chaff. They are always hunting for something practical or worthwhile to store in the back of their mind to put to work in the months and years ahead. G.K. Chesterton said many years ago that in all this world there is no such thing as an uninteresting subject, only uninterested people. Criticizing the Speaker

It's the indoor sport of most bad listeners to find fault with the way a speaker looks, acts, and talks. Good listeners may make a few of the same criticisms but they quickly begin to pay attention to what is said, not how it is said. After a few minutes, good listeners become oblivious to the speaker's mannerisms or his/her faults in delivery. They know that the message is ten times as important as the clothing in which it comes garbed. Getting Overstimulated Listening efficiency drops to zero when the listeners react so strongly to one part of the presentation that they miss what follows. At the University of Minnesota we think this bad habit is so critical that, in the classes where we teach listening, we put at the top of every blackboard the words: Withhold evaluation until comprehension is complete -- hear the speaker out. It is important that we

understand the speaker's point of view fully before we accept or reject it. Listening Only For Facts I used to think it was important to listen for facts. But I've found that almost without exception it is the poor listeners who say they listen for facts. They do get facts, but they garble a shocking number and completely lose most of them. Good listeners listen for the main ideas in a speech or lecture and use them as connecting threads to give sense and system to the whole. In the end they have more facts appended to those connecting threads than the catalogers who listen only for facts. It isn't necessary to worry too much about fact as such, for facts have meaning only when principles supply the context. Trying To Outline Everything There's nothing wrong with making an outline of a speech -- provided the speaker is following an outline method of presentation. But probably not more than a half or perhaps a third of all speeches given are built around a carefully prepared outline. Good listeners are flexible. They adapt their note taking to the organizational pattern of the speaker-they may make an outline, they may write a summary, they may list facts and principles -- but whatever they do they are not rigid about it.

Faking Attention The pose of chin propped on hand with gaze fixed on speaker does not guarantee good listening. Having adopted this pose, having shown the overt

courtesy of appearing to listen to the speaker, the bad listener feels conscience free to take off on any of a thousand tangents. Good listening is not relaxed and passive at all. It's dynamic; it's constructive; it's characterized by a slightly increased heart rate, quicker circulation of the blood, and a small rise in bodily temperature. It's energy consuming; it's plain hard work. The best definition I know of the word attention is a "collection of tensions that can be resolved only by getting the facts or ideas that the speaker is trying to convey." Tolerating Distraction Poor listeners are easily distracted and may even create disturbances that interfere with their own listening efficiency and that of others. They squirm, talk with their neighbors, or shuffle papers. They make little or no effort to conceal their boredom. Good listeners try to adjust to whatever distractions there are and soon find that they can ignore them. Certainly, they do not distract others. Choosing Only What's Easy Often we find the poor listeners have shunned listening to serious presentations on radio or television. There is plenty of easy listening available, and this has been their choice. The habit of avoiding even moderately difficult expository presentations in one's ensure-time listening can handicap anyone who needs to use listening as a learning tool.

Letting Emotion-Laden Words Get In The Way It is a fact that some words carry such an emotional load that they cause some listeners to tune a speaker right out: such as, affirmative action and feminist-they are fighting words to some people. I sometimes think that one of the most important studies that could be made would be the identification of the one hundred greatest trouble-making words in the

English language. If we knew what these words were, we could ring them out into the open, discuss them, and get them behind us. It's so foolish to let a mere symbol for something stand between us and learning. Wasting the Differential Between Speech and Thought Speed Americans speak at an average rate of 125 words per minute in ordinary conversation. A speaker before an audience slows down to about 100 words per minute. How fast do listeners listen? Or, to put the question in a better form, how many words a minute do people normally think as they listen? If all their thoughts were measurable in words per minute, the answer would seem to be that an audience of any size will average 400 to 500 words per minute as they listen. Here is a problem. The differential between the speaker at 100 words per minute and the easy thought speed of the listener at 400 or 500 words per minute is a snare and a pitfall. It lures the listener into a false sense of security and breeds mental tangents. HOW TO LISTEN Communicating properly has as much to do with listening as it does with talking to someone else. Learning how to be a good listener will help improve all of your relationships. There are few steps in order to us to listen well. Firstly, when you are trying to talk to someone, it can be easy to tune out what they are saying and let your mind wander. Keeping your focus on the person talking, without interrupting them, has to be done on purpose. Looking at them will help you remember to listen and pay attention. Secondly, when it's your turn to talk, repeat what you think they were saying. This is important, because sometimes in communication the meaning can get lost in our interpretation. Repeating it as you understood it, asking if you understand what they meant, will give them the opportunity to correct any misunderstanding by rephrasing what they said so the point is clear. It will also keep you from misunderstanding the meaning and getting angry or hurt over it. Lastly, after you have the full meaning of what they said, you can respond to the points made. When you are done, make sure the proper understanding is there of

what you meant, by carefully listening to them repeat what they heard. If they didn't understand correctly, repeat what you said by rephrasing it.

SKILLS OF EFFECTIVE LISTENING

We all believe we listen well and yet many times we feel others are not listening to us. However, listening goes in both directions--aswell as you may believe you are listening, how often have you completely forgotten what was said to you? There are a few ways to become a more effective listener. Make Eye Contact Make eye contact with the person who is talking to you. People put out visual clues when they talk that add to the conversation and meaning of their words. Stop Talking You can't listen and talk at the same time and completely receive the meaning of the other person's words. Wait your turn and take in what has been said to you before you make a reply back. React Without Words Let the other person know you are listening through physical reactions, such as head nods, smiles, frowns and eye movement. These gestures may also help to let the speaker know whether you are accurately absorbing their words. Concentrate Concentrate on what the other person is saying. Clear your mind of other thoughts and emotions and focus on the conversation at hand. Be in the moment of that conversation, not thinking about what you want to say back. Act As A Listener Behave as an effective listener. The more you continue to behave as a listener, the more you will be an effective listener.

SENDING CLEAR MESSAGE A clear message is one that is specific, explicit and complete. It tells everything the oter person need to know. Most of the communicating you do in directing your employees will be giving instructions and information of the job. It will probably be a fragment of conversation, and it may take place under severe time pressure, so it will be very easy to run into all the common obstacles to good communication. But brief as it is, and however difficult the circumstances are, you need to give each person the entire message. A clear message is also one that is understandable and meaningful to the person to whom it is sent. It must be phrased in terms that the person can understand. It must be delivered on that persons level. Making message understandable and meaningful requires awareness on your part. It takes awareness of the other persons background, experie nce, ability to comprehend, awareness of your own assumptions about this person and how he or she regards you, awareness of your tone of voice, choice of words and how you come across to other people. GETTING YOUR MESSAGE ACCEPTED The first essential is trust. If your employee trust you, they will have a built in attitude of acceptance, of willingness to do as you say and do a good job for you. If they do not trust you, the message probably will not come through them clearly. The second essential for acceptance is the interest of the receiver in the message. People have to see whats in it for them. Make sure that they understand what your messages have to do with their work, as well as how and why the information or intruction affect them. Lastly, the third essential for acceptance is that your instructions must be reasonable. When instruction that seems unreasonable to a worker seem perfectly reasonable to you, you need to discuss them, find out why they seem impossible and explain how and why it really is possible to do what you want done. It may be that your communication was poor at the first time.

MAKING A POSITIVE IMPACT If you want people to get your message clearly and do willingly what you want them to do, your messages must have a positive impact. People must feel like complying. They must not be puff by the way you have delivered your messages. In this top-down type of communication there is no sense of the receiver as another human being, no chance for question and feedback. A message delivered in a condescending, contemptuous or commanding manner and tone of voice can only have a negative impact. The receiver will not complete the communication in the way the sender wants. The more authoritarian and insistent the type of message is, the more negative the impact and the more negative peoples reaction will be.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
Emotional intelligence(EI), often measured as EI quotient (EQ) and popularized by the work of Daniel Goleman, is defined as the ability to manage ourselves and our relationship effectively. According to his research, emotional intelligence is an important influence on leadership effectiveness, especially in more senior management positions. In Golemans words: the higher the ran k of the person considered to be a star performer, the more emotional intelligence capabilities showed up as a reason for his or her effectiveness. The critical components of EI are the following: Self-awareness Ability to understand our own moods and emotions, and to understand their impact on our work and on others. Self-regulation Ability to think before we act and to control otherwise disruptive impulses. Motivation Ability to work hard with persistence and for reasons other than money and status.

Empathy Ability to understand the emotions of others and to use this understanding to better relate to them. Social skill Ability to establish rapport with others and to build good relationships and networks. We all know that a hospitality business is made up of people with varying emotional dispositions so it is especially important for managers to recognize individual emotions and adapt to situations to maintain a harmonious workplace. Personally, we should all assess our own EI then see what others think about our EI because if we want to advance in our careers we should have good EI. Human resources professionals and managers work with people. Yet, as simple and obvious as this may sound, it is not always easy to do well. The emotional awareness of reading people is a good start, being able to zero in on people and identify emotions is vital to success in interpersonal relationships in the fast-paced hospitality industry. Hospitality companies are using EI in their hiring decision. GIVING INSTRUCTION The first step is to plan. You plan what it is that you are going to say, whom you will say it to, when you will give the instuctions, where and how. The second step in giving instructions is to establish a climate of acceptance. This may be something as simple as making sure that people are not preoccupied with something else and are ready to listen. The third step is to deliver the instructions. Your manner of delivery is critical. Gestures, inflections, tone of voice, facial expressions, all the nonverbal ways of communicating come into play here, as well as what you say. Give your instructions calmly and confidently. The fourth step in giving instructions is to verify that the instructions have been understood. There are various ways of doing this. You can watch for spontaneous signs: the look of comprehension in the eyes, nodding of the head, a verbal okay.

This means that the person thinks that he or she understands or at least wants you to think so. The fifth and final step, following up. Deals with just this problems. You should not consider that you have carried out your direction by giving responsibilities fully until you find out how your instructions are being carried out. COMPUTER AND TELEPHONE AIDED COMMUNICATIONS Networked computer system link corperated and independent hospitality business to one another, the supply chain, various information sources via World Wide Web. E-mail is a quick and convenient way for supervisors and employees to share information and to communicate to one or several people. Voice-mail allows information to be digitally stored and retrieved later. Voicemail is also very useful in the hospitality industry because much of a supervisors time spend away from their desks, and message can be checked periodically and from other locations. Intranets are private, organization-wide networks, similiar to Web sites, to which only people in the organization have access. An extranet is the same as an intranet, except that it allows access to specific people outside the company, such as guests or suppliers.

REFERENCE www.dartmouth.edu/~acskills/docs/10_bad_listening_habits.doc http://ezinearticles.com/?Poor-Listening-Skills---A-Major-Barrier-To-EffectiveCommunication&id=950245

http://www.ehow.com/facts_5432309_skills-effective-listening.html http://www.ehow.com/how_2303011_listen-well.html