The Frustration-Proof

Special Report

21 Ways to Frustration-Proof Your Life

SCEPTRE PUBLICATIONS
Brussels – Belgium
The Frustration-Proof Report – 21 Ways to Frustration-proof your Life
Copyright©2008 by Richard ONEBAMOI

Personal development, Self Improvement, Success Empowerment,

Motivational, Self Help

Richard Onebamoi
P.O. Box 3
Bruxelles 20
1200 Bruxelles,
Belgium

www.successfacilitator.com
www.self-improve-blog.com
www.anatomyoffrustration.com

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 INTRODUCTION

Frustration Defined: Frustration: It’s a feeling of

dissatisfaction, often accompanied by anxiety or depression,
resulting from unfulfilled needs or unresolved problems.
Dictionary.com

It is an emotional response to circumstances where one is

obstructed from arriving at a personal goal. It is said that there's
more than one way to skin a cat. The same goes when you start
tearing your hair out with all the frustration, grief, anxiety, and
stress. It's a state of mental conditioning that is like taking that
bitter pill down your throat, causing you to lose your sense of self,
and worse your sanity. Just the thought of it can drive anyone off
the edge.

Frustration is an observable fact that you have to deal with

on a daily basis. The burdens of work, family, unforeseen crisis and
unmet expectations combined to produce tangled loops of
frustrating events in your life. When you are frustrated your mind
cannot work efficiently because instead of focusing on possibilities
your mind focuses on impossibilities and your thoughts are not
coherent at this stage. While there are certain things you can do to
make your life run more smoothly, we must also understand that

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Richard Onebamoi The Frustration-proof Report

as human you have limitations just like anybody that will

incapacitate you in causing things to run smoothly as you would
desire, these makes frustrating situations inevitable as you progress
and navigate through the corridors of life.

Our initial reaction to frustration is to yield to it and its

negative consequences without taking action in the direction of our
anticipated outcome. We also resist or ignore it altogether, putting
up a protective defence and confront it as an enemy with which we
feel we must do battle. The yielding, resisting, partially or
completely ignoring this emotion and others like it is negative and
can produce only negative results, we will find ourselves
producing more frustration, anxiety, stress and fear than
opportunities and productivity.

As one stressed-out person to another, I know how it feels,

and believe me there are many disparity when it comes to
frustration. Coping with life, and carrying the problems that may
or may not belong to you can scratch away the little joy and
happiness that you can carry once you head out that door. You
can't blame them for being like that; they have their own reasons,
so much like we have our reasons to allow frustration to weigh us
down. They say that frustration is all in the mind, well, what's
bugging you anyway?

There are several ways to transform frustration into creative

opportunities and unlock the power to succeed. This report will
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Richard Onebamoi The Frustration-proof Report

give you access to 21 ways that you can make use of today to
frustration-proof your life against any personal and professional
hazards as well as to succeed in all your pursuits making the
difference between frustration and fulfilment.

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Richard Onebamoi The Frustration-proof Report

“People who fail to achieve their goals usually get

stopped by frustration. They allow frustration to keep
them from taking the necessary actions that would
support them in achieving their desire. You get through
this roadblock by ploughing through frustration, taking
each setback as feedback you can learn from, and pushing
ahead. I doubt you'll find many successful people who
have not experienced this. All successful people learn
that success is buried on the other side of frustration.”
Anthony Robbins

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 21 WAYS TO
FRUSTRATION-PROOF YOUR
LIFE

With the uncertainty in our world, economic crisis, job losses, with
the voices of gloom and doom raging within and without. The rate
at which most people are getting frustrated is on the increase daily.
Consequently, it is imperative that we learn to how to frustration-
proof our lives as we progress toward our desired intent. Here are
21 ways on how to frustration-proof your life, take the time to read
through this report and then apply each one daily for the next 21
days and consistently revisit this report when you have any
personal or professional frustration.

1. Asking Focused Questions: In everyday life we are

susceptible to frustrations. Attempt to identify specifically what it
is that I am frustrated about is critical to dealing with frustration.
This is often associated with problems or unmet expectations. In
other to translate this frustration into productive opportunities and
unlock the power to succeed, series of focused and empowering
question should be asked. It is interesting to note that questions
could be empowering or disempowering consequently it is
imperative that you put forward the right kind of questions

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Richard Onebamoi The Frustration-proof Report

because you will become more focused, clear, creative, purposeful,

aware and balanced. Questions can be used as tools to gather
information and acquire knowledge about yourself, others, events,
situations and places. Answers to such question are used to bring
clarity and better understanding of the situation.

2. Acknowledge Frustrations: Most people tend to live in

denial, often frustrated and angry because of unmet expectations
play down this emotional disposition of frustration and act as if all
is well. In other to frustration proof your life you’ve got to
acknowledge it, admit the fact that you are frustrated but do not
remain at that position. Acknowledging frustration will empower
you to start finding ways to transform your frustration. Based on
man’s natural propensity to fight or flight response, helps create an
impetus that will enhance your performance at the right moment.
Use frustration wisely to push yourself forward toward your
anticipated desire.

3. Identify Root Cause(s) of Frustration: The law of cause

and effect states that: “Everything happens for a reason.” For every
effect in your life, there is a cause. Crises do not just erupt without
causes. The perspective changes when you consider frustration as
an effect with a cause or series of causes. Therefore in transforming
frustration into creative opportunities it is appropriate to identify
its root cause(s). For example there are many reasons why on a
given day a car may not start in the morning on your way to an
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Richard Onebamoi The Frustration-proof Report

important appointment. Your expectation is the normal situation

which is the car should start while the effect is the car refuses to
start, now the cause or root of the problem could be faulty ignition,
flat Battery, No fuel, Electrical Problems or even the weather.
Identifying these causes can solve your problem, which then
eliminate your frustration.

4. Change Your Attitude: Attitude is everything. Attitudes,

whether positive or negative, have the power to impact profoundly
the success of an individual or an organization. Attitudes are
contagious, attitudes impact the bottom line, and it affects your
every thought and the results that your thoughts bring. Positive
mental attitude is indispensable and appropriate in today’s
competitive and changing marketplace as well as your personal
endeavours that it has become imperative to develop and maintain
a positive mental attitude regardless of the circumstances that
militate against you in life. Once you realize that your attitude is
not supporting you in your overall scheme of things, you need to
be able to change it so as to frustration-proof your life.

5. Always Seek To Understand: If it is a person or group of

people that are responsible for your frustration either at home,
workplace or marketplace always seek to understand before you
are understood by you having to ask a simple question to make
sure these individuals understands what has been discoursed and
get their feedback so that there will be no surprises.
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Richard Onebamoi The Frustration-proof Report

One better way to deal with this is to seek to understand before you
seek to be understood. One other way to deal with frustration is to
understand that this emotional disposition is common to everyone
and not you alone or certain groups of people. What sets you apart
from others is the way you respond to the emotions when they
occur. Take a profound look at what is making you frustrated to
find if there are ways that you are contributing to it and take action
to remedy the problem.

6. Self-examination: Frequent Self-evaluation is of inestimable

value. As we interact daily we tend to imbibe ideas, habits and
thought patterns that are not in harmony with our core values and
expectations. Frustration often occurs when the ideas and thought
patterns that we give admission to are not in harmony with those
that we have held for a long time. For instance, Mr. Robert Xerox
amazed at why his belief system kept producing these negative
outcomes and how he has become desperate, frustrated and cynical
when his expectations are not met.

This situation was now at the point where personal and

professional life is endangered by it. He then decided to go on self-
examination to evaluate himself so as to find out what the problem
was. Hence, self-examination can help to detoxify from all the
impurity that can affect our beliefs negatively and realign our
priorities. When you are overwhelmed with frustration take the
route of self-examination and you will be able to identify the root of
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Richard Onebamoi The Frustration-proof Report

the frustration and transform into creative opportunity and unlock

the power to succeed.

7. Change Your Mental Focus: Mental focus is the general

term used to describe a person’s thought processes. If you must
transform frustrations into creative opportunities and unlock the
power to succeed you have to change your mental focus. For
instance, when frustrating events occurs there is always this
tendency to begin to form images and focus on the negatives
outcome that in turn reinforces the frustration. By taking control of
your mental focus and focusing on the desired expectation and on
success you can master frustration and transform it into creative
opportunity.

8. Focus on the Lesson Learnt: With every undertaken there

are always lessons to learn weather it was a positive or negative
outcome. Life is actually a compilation of lessons learned from
every spectrum of life. It is imperative that you focus on the lessons
learnt rather than focusing on the negative outcome. This will give
you a proper perspective on how to take further action for the
realization of your goals and expectations. You want to pay close
attention to the lessons that your experiences affords as it will serve
your purpose in future endeavours.

9. Define The Object Of Frustration As A Goal: Take a

minute or two to actually define the problem. Once you have

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Richard Onebamoi The Frustration-proof Report

identified the object of frustration, that is, what is responsible for

your frustration, you should now define and view that challenge as
a goal to be achieved. For instance, it could be your lack of skills in
that particular Endeavour that results to ineffectiveness and
inefficiency of the tasks or assignments. You could now set
acquiring or upgrading your skills and ability as a goal so that you
are effective and efficient in achieving yours tasks and objectives. It
is often more effective to ensure you understand the problem, its
symptoms and causes before proceeding.

10. Reinforce Your Belief: When faced with frustrating

situations having a supportive belief system will help you
frustration-proof your life and achieve extraordinary success that
you deserve. To reinforce your beliefs to overcome frustration you
must turn disempowering beliefs into empowering beliefs by
focusing on beliefs that serve your purpose and also ask
empowering questions such as what do I need to believe about
myself or circumstance that will reinforce the beliefs that are
congruent with the core beliefs that are serving my ultimate
outcome.

11. Know Exactly What You Want: Knowing what you want
helps you to determine your priorities. A lot of folks are frustrated
most of the times because they do not actually know what they
want. The dilemma is that we assume that these individuals know
what they want out of life. In challenging times with unmet
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Richard Onebamoi The Frustration-proof Report

expectation to frustration-proof your life you have to know exactly

what you want, what your priorities are and go all out to achieve
them.

12. Avoid Stress: Stress in excessive amount is a negative

emotional disposition that weakens you and it is related and can
lead to frustration. You have to pay close attention those stressors
both internal and external. Most of the things that you are stressed
about will not necessarily turn out the way that you fear it might.
Understanding this, you will be empowered to overcome stress and
transform frustration into creative opportunities and the power to
succeed. Frustration-proof yourself by recognizing stress in others
and limiting your contact with them. Or if you've got the
inclination, you can become a resource and teach them how to
better manage themselves.

13. Learn from The Best: When people around you are losing
their mind, who keeps calm? What are they doing differently?
What is their attitude? What language do they use? Are they
trained and experienced? The truth of the matter is these
individuals are not exempted from frustration but that they are
determined and have learnt how to frustration-proof their lives.
Consequently, learning what these individuals do differently, the
attitude they possess and their self-talk is invaluable if you must
frustration-proof your life. Figure it out from afar or sit them down

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Richard Onebamoi The Frustration-proof Report

for a chat with these individuals. Learn from the best stress
managers and copy what they do.

14 Take Time to Exhale and Inhale: You can lead your body
into relaxing by using the technique of heavy breathing. Whenever
you are frustrated just simply inhale slowly for a count of 7 then
exhale for a count of 11. Repeat the 7-11 breathing until your heart
rate slows down, your sweaty palms dry off and things start to feel
more normal. Taking the time to breathe in and out helps to release
tension and frustration assisting you in refocusing on your
priorities and what it will require to achieve your desired outcome.
When you are frustrated just breathe in and out.

15. Give Frustration Thoughts the Red Light: Whenever

frustrating thoughts arises in your mind take action immediately to
negate those thoughts with positive ones. It is possible to entangle
yourself up in a frustration knot all by yourself and beside most of
these things never happen, so why waste all that energy worrying
needlessly? Give frustrating thought-trains the red light and stop
them in their tracks as you frustration-proof your life from its
negative consequences.

16. Know Your Trigger Points & Hot Spots: The following
are some frustration triggers; presentations, interviews, meetings,
giving difficult feedback and tight deadlines et cetera. My heart
rate is cranking up just writing these down! Make your own list of

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Richard Onebamoi The Frustration-proof Report

frustration trigger points or hot spots. Be specific. Is it only

presentations to a certain audience that get you worked up? Does
one project become more frustrating than another? Knowing what
causes you frustration is powerful information, as you can take
action to make it less frustrating by asking questions like, do you
need to learn some new skills? Do you need extra resources? will
help you to frustration-proof your life and unlock the power to
succeed.

17. Burn The Candle At One End: Lack of sleep, poor diet
and no exercise wreaks havoc on our body and mind. Kind of
obvious, but worth mentioning as it's often ignored as a stress
management technique. Listen to your mother and don't burn the
candle at both ends! So having stress can be a total drag, but that
should not hinder us to find the inner peace of mind that we have
wanted for a long time. In any case, one could always go to the
Bahamas and bask under the summer sun.

18. Focus On What Matters and What Works For You:

You don’t need to learn how to do everything in life. Most people
want to know so much about everything and this result to
disappointments and frustration to say the least. In other to
frustration-proof your life and produce creative opportunities you
have to endeavour to know much and focus on what matters and
what works for you rather than wanting to be a jack of all trade. In

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Richard Onebamoi The Frustration-proof Report

other to frustration-proof your life you've got to focus on what

matters and ignore the rest.

19. Change Your Physiology: Your physiology is your

physical being: the way you stand, sit, move, breath etc. Once you
meet someone you can you usually tell how he feels even before
you are told. This is so because you unconsciously notice his
physiology. With that said, it is imperative to understand that
every emotional state exhibit a certain physiological state. For
instance, someone frustrated will exhibit a physiological state
different from someone that is motivated and enthused. Hence, to
frustration-proof your life you have to change your physiology in
the direction of your desired outcome, controlling your posture, the
way you move and your expression as against the physiology that
results from the frustration.

20. Be Thankful In All Things: The Bible states, “Be anxious

for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with
thanksgiving, let your requests be made know unto God.” That’s it
right there, be anxious for nothing as this will obliterate your
attitude of gratitude and create an atmosphere that breeds
frustrations instead of thankfulness.
George Herbert stated, “Thou hast given so much to me give me
one thing more, a grateful heart.” You can begin your day with this
frame of mind. If you can focus on those things that are good and
that can be good, you will only bring more positive things into your
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Richard Onebamoi The Frustration-proof Report

life. Attitude of Gratitude is one of the life lines of any

extraordinary achiever and will cause frustration to dissipate into
the ether and unlock your power to succeed.

21. Take Action: As I counsel and coach across the nations of the
earth just one vice constantly emanates and that is inaction. I fin
that there are a lot of people that are knowledgeable in many
aspects of life but are masters of none. The dilemma is that these
individuals never take action in applying the knowledge and
expertise that they have acquired in solving the issues of life that
affects them. When you are frustrated having a strong bias towards
taking action to remedy the situation with the knowledge you have
is invaluable. If you do not have the knowledge and expertise, take
action to acquire it from the arsenal of information that abounds in
the universe. Take action to solicit for help and you will be amazed
number of those that will be willing to help you in ways that will
astound you. Just take action, do something positive and the claws
of frustration will be broken.

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Richard Onebamoi The Frustration-proof Report

“Consult not your fears but your hopes and your

dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about
your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with
what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still
possible for you to do”
Pope John XXIII

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The Anatomy of Frustration
By Richard ONEBAMOI

Anatomy of frustration – Discover how

to transform frustrations into creative
opportunities and unlock the power to
succeed, by Richard Onebamoi this
book is filled with simple but yet
powerful strategies that will
empower you to transform
frustration into creative
opportunities. It is also designed to
be your companion as you deal with
frustrating events, people or circumstances on a daily basis.

This is an engaging book that makes very valid points that

everyone can benefit from. Richard provides concrete techniques
and profound concepts to help you move through your frustrations
and unlock the power to succeed. In it you will learn:

• What is Frustration?
• The Roots of Frustration
• Disadvantages of Frustration
• How to overcome fear factor
• Changing Your Expectations
• Changing Your Belief System
• Changing Your Attitude

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Richard Onebamoi The Frustration-proof Report

• Much more

This amazing book will equip and prepare you to transform

either personal or professional frustration into creative
opportunities, possibilities, and productivity and ultimately unlock
the power to succeed.

Click Here For More Details …

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 ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Richard Onebamoi is a pastor, multi-gifted motivational
speaker, and author as well as success facilitator. He is the founder,
president and senior pastor of Living Stone Family Worship Centre
International, headquartered in Brussels, Belgium.
He is also the Founder and Chief Executive Facilitator of
Success Empowerment Learning Foundation™ S.E.L.F, with a
mandate to inspire your performance, expand your imagination,
cultivate your dreams, and help you discover, develop, deploy and
maximize your God-given potential(s). He is able to provide
leadership, educational and personal development training that
will instruct, motivate, empower and maximize your potential(s).
He is a vibrant and highly sought after conference speaker.
Richard has a profound and unique insight into God’s word.
As he ministers around the globe, God continually marks his
ministry with the demonstration of the Holy Spirit and power,
transforming lives by the Word of His power. He is married to
Catherine who co-pastors with him, and Associate Executive
Facilitator of Success Empowerment Learning Foundation™
S.E.L.F. They are blessed with four children and they reside in
Brussels, Belgium in the heart of European Union.

You can contact him at:

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Richard Onebamoi The Frustration-proof Report

Richard Onebamoi
P.O. Box 3
Bruxelles 20,
1200 Bruxelles
Belgium
Email: facilitator (at) anatomyoffrustration.com

APPRECIATION
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Proof Report – 21 Ways to Frustration-proof your life, hopefully it
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you can transform frustration into creative opportunities and
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