Paradigms of Parenting Dominant Paradigm vs.

Nonviolent(Peace of Mind) Paradigm The Principles of Dominant Paradigm In the Dominant paradigm, love is conditional and stopping the behavior is more important than the relationship with the child. Parents know best and must be respected at all times.. Parents CONTROL their children by using their POWER OVER their c hildren. Parents use fear, shame, guilt, and manipulation (praise and rewards) to control their childs behavior. Parents are disciplinarians who are not to be questioned by their children. Children must obey their parents at all times. Children act out to get attention. If you give children too much attention, you will spoil them and they will manipulate you in order to get what they want. Love is given conditionally depending upon the childs behavior. Manipulation, Praise and Rewards Bad behavior is punished and good behavior is rewarded with things like stickers, stars, toys and candy as prizes are given when the child pleases the adult. Threats and bribes are used as well. Rules are to be followed without questioning. A child deserves what he/she gets from his/her parents. The Principles of The NonviolentParadigm In Nonviolent Parenting, love is unconditional and the relationship is more important than behavior. Children deserve to be raised with unconditional loving, free from physical hurt, shaming, and manipulation. It is damaging to children to be raised to fear their parents.
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Children are born loving, curious, trusting, whole human beings. It is helpful to remember to always see them in this light and to encourage these natural traits to bloom throughout their childhood. Parents are allies to their children, offering support as they work with-not against them to build mutual understanding, respect, and honesty. Building an intimate relationship with a child is a process that requires acceptance and understanding of basic human needs and feelings. It is natural that both parents and children will experience anger and frustration as well as warmth and affection. Each person's reactions and feelings are respected, heard, and recognized as true. Through deep listening, empathy, and loving speech, children are guided to learn unconditional ways to express their feelings and needs and to resolve their problems. This is the process of building emotional competency and emotional intelligence. Nonviolent Parenting is a practice, a process and an understanding. It is not result driven and based on a parents need to control but allowing the child to learn selfcontrol through unconditional love.

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