THE PRAYER OF THE FROG

PART ONE AUTHOR Author Anthony de Mello Tonys been a refreshing cool drink this summer, commented a Sister referring to the special issue we brought out which included a supplement on the course of inner selfliberation by Tony de Mello. To udge from the success of the course, we ha!e to admit shes right. "e!e had to bring out four editions of the reprint after his death the message of this special incarnation of a #guru is e!oking a real inner disco!ery in many people. "hats behind this phenomenal success$ %ery simply, it is a manifestation of the hunger for the spiritual spreading around the world. &ts a hunger with !ery special characteristics. 'eople arent buying set formulas anymore, or pious platitudes redolent of an cry gone by( beaten tracks that did not succeed in bringing people to a spiritual awakening. There is an anguished search, sometimes confused in its direction, for a more liberal outlook. Modem man mired in profound cultural change first wants to know who he is, what imprisons his soul, what stands in the way of spiritual progress. )e wants to redisco!er the *od beyond all that has been identified through the years with the name of *od+ laws, norms, doctrines not made flesh, words stranded from life. That is why Tony de Mello said that our !iolent spirituality has created problems for us, that ,esus -hrist has got a bad name because of what is said of him from pulpits and that it is !ery difficult to recogni.e a saint because he looks like the rest of us. &n short, what Tony de Mello is telling us is that if we want to make -hristianity credible we need to plumb die depths of /lie human spirit, to reach beyond our present frontiers, /0rom %ida1ue!a Madrid, Sept. 23th, 24567

FOREWORD The first image of Tony de Mello that & cherish goes back thirty years8and precisely to 9ona!la, to the !ery house that much later became the home of the Sadhana &nstitute. Tony was then a ,esuit student, but engaged in teaching the young men who had ust finished their no!iciate. The whole group had come up to St Stanislaus %illa for a brief holiday. & remember Tony with a batch of uniors, as we called them, sitting under the trees outside the kitchen and cleaning !egetables for the days meals, whilst he regaled a !ery recepti!e audience with his ine:haustible fund of stories. Much has happened to all of us since then( and Tony himself went through innumerable stages of growth and change, of fresh competence and new interests, and of effecti!e ser!ice. ;ut he was always an incomparable story-teller. )ardly any of his anecdotes were original, and some were not e!en e:ceptionally smart( but on his lips they

came ali!e with meaning and rele!ance, or ust plain fun. 0or that matter, any theme he touched came ali!e and captured attention. <nd now his parting gift to us, which will surely oin the ranks of his other bestsellers, is The 'rayer of the 0rog. Though he spoke rather casually of his literary output, he was meticulous in editing his compositions. The last thing he did in &ndia before taking the plane for the =nited States was to spend more than three hours with the publisher, going o!er the details of his manuscript. & ha!e not seen the te:t, but & know of his final concern. That was in the e!ening of May >?th, 2456. @n ,une 3nd he was found dead on the floor of his room in 1ew Aork, ha!ing succumbed to a massi!e heart attack. &n between he had made time to write a long letter to a close friend, in which he said, speaking of earlier e:periences+ <ll of that seems to belong to another era and to another world. & find the whole of my interest is now focused on something else, on the #world of the spirit, and & see e!erything else as so trifling and so irrele!ant. The things that mattered so much in the past do not seem to matter any more. Things like those of <chaan -hah the ;uddhist teacher, seem to absorb my whole interest and & am losing my taste for other things. &s this an illusion$ & do not know. ;ut ne!er before in my life ha!e & felt so happy, so free. That ust about sums up Tony as he was8and indeed as others percei!ed him 8in his last phase, before he left us so suddenly, three months before his fifty-si:th birthday. <nd now there is already a body of literature that is growing around him. a !eritable golden legend, with testimonies from a !ariety of people, scattered the world o!er. Buite a few ha!e said they ne!er met him but were profoundly affected by his books. @thers had en oyed the pri!ilege of a deep relationship. Aet others only briefly e:perienced the magic of his spoken word. 1ot many would go along with e!erything that he said or did, especially after he crossed the established boundaries of spiritual !enture8nor did Tony e:pect a docile following, but rather the contrary. "hat attracted so many to his person and ideas was precisely that he challenged e!eryone to Cuestion, to e:plore, to get out of prefabricated patterns of thought and beha!iour, away from stereotypes, and to dare be ones true self 8in fine, to seek an e!er greater authenticity. < relentless Cuest for authenticity8that is how Tonys !ision came across from any angle, at any range. <nd this ga!e to his multifaceted personality an integrity, a wholeness, that had a charm and a power all its own+ it reconciled opposites, not in tension but as a harmonious blend. )e was most ready to make friends, to share( yet one felt there was a dimension in him that was out of reach. )e could be boisterous in company, trotting out outrageous okes, but no one could doubt his steadfast seriousness of purpose. )e changed so much and in so many ways along the years, and ne!ertheless there were constants in his character that stayed firmly in place. < striking e:ample of this was his commitment as a ,esuit. )e had mo!ed far beyond the enthusiastic promotion of the Spiritual D:ercises according to the original design of Saint &gnatius8which was the thrust for which he first came to be internationally appreciated( in fact, at the end he was way out of what might be recogni.ed as &gnatian spirituality. ;ut he ne!er surrendered his ,esuit identity. There was ob!iously no

compulsion in this( probably not much reasoning either. &t was ust that he felt so much in tune with the mind and heart of &gnatius, as he knew and understood the Saint. &n a homily that he addressed to the ,esuit 'ro!incials of &ndia in 245>, before they and he himself participated in the last *eneral -ongregation, or -hapter of the @rder, he shared , with them an insight into &gnatius which was e!en more a self-re!elation of Tony( There is a tradition among our early 0athers that *od ga!e to &gnatius the graces and charismas that )e intended for the Society as a whole and for each indi!idual ,esuit. &f & were asked to choose for myself and for our Society today from among the many charismas that &gnatius had. & would Cuite unhesitatingly choose three( his contemplation, his creati!ity and his courage, Parmananda R. Divarkar S.J. 4th September. 1987 "<E1&1* It is s a great mystery that though the human heart ongs !or "ruth in #hi$h a one it !inds iberation and de ight% the !irst rea$tion o& human beings to "ruth is one o! hosti ity and !ear. So the Spiritua "ea$hers o! humanity% ike 'uddha and Jesus% $reated a devi$e to $ir$umvent the opposition o! their isteners( the story "hey kne# that the most entran$ing #ords a anguage ho ds are% )*n$e upon a time...+% that it is $ommon to oppose a truth but impossib e to resist a story. ,yasa% the author o! the -ahabharata. says that i! you isten $are!u y to a story you #i t never be the same again "hat is be$ause the story #i #orm its #ay into your heart and break do#n barriers to the divine .ven i! you read the stories in this book on y !or the entertainment there is no guarantee that an o$$asiona story #i not s ip through your de!en$es and e/p ode #hen you east e/pe$t it to. So you have been #arned1 I! you are !oo hardy enough to $ourt en ightenment% this is #hat I suggest you do( 012 3arry a story around in your mind so you $an d#e on it in eisure moments. "hat #i give it a $han$e to #ork on your sub$ons$ious and revea its hidden meaning. 4ou #i then be surprised to see ho# it $omes to you 5uite une/pe$ted y 6ust #hen you need it to ight up an event or situation and !aring you insight and inner hea ing. "hat is #hen you #i rea i7e that% in e/posing yourse ! to these stories% you #ere auditing a 3ourse in .n ightenment !or #hi$h no guru is needed other than yourse !8 0'2 Sin$e ea$h o! these stories is a reve ation o! "ruth arid sin$e "ruth% #hen spe t #ith o $apita ". means the truth about you make sure that ea$h time you read a story you sing e9minded y sear$h !or a deeper understanding o! yourse !. "he #ay one #ou d read a -edi$o8 'ook : #ondering i! one has any o! the symptoms; and not a Psy$ho ogy 'ook :thinking #hat typi$a spe$imens one<s !riends are. I! you su$$umb to the temptation o! seeking insight into others% the stories #i do you damage. So passionate was Mulla 1asruddins lo!e for truth that he tra!elled to distant places in search of Foranic scholars and he felt no inhibitions about drawing infidels at the ba.aar into discussions about the truths of his faith.

@ne day his wife told him how unfairly he was treating her8and disco!ered that her husband had no interest whatsoe!er in that kind of TruthG It<s the on y kind that matters% o! $ourse. *urs #ou d be a di!!erent #or d% indeed% i! those o! us% #ho are s$ho ars and ideo ogues% #hether re igious or se$u ar% had the same passion !or se !9kno# edge that #e disp ay !or our theories and dogmas. D:cellent sermon, said the parishioner, as she pumped the hand of the preacher. D!erything you said applies to someone or other & know. See= INSTRUCTION The stories are best read in the order in which they are set out here Eead no more than one or two at a time8that is, if you wish to get anything more than entertainment from them NOTE The stories in this book come from a !ariety of countries, cultures and religions. They belong to the spiritual heritage8and popular humour8of the human race <ll that the author has done is string them together with a specific aim in mind. )is task has been that of the wea!er and the dyer )e takes no credit at ail for the cotton and the thread. *************** "hen ;rother ;runo was at prayer one night he was disturbed by the croaking of a bullfrog. <ll his attempts to disregard the sound were unsuccessful so he shouted from his window, BuietG &m at my prayers. 1ow ;rother ;runo was a saint so his command was instantly obeyed. D!ery li!ing creature held its !oice so as to create a silence that would be fa!ourable to prayer. ;ut now another sound intruded on ;runos worship8 an inner !oice that said, Maybe *od is as pleased with the croaking of that frog as with the chanting of your psalms. "hat can please the ears of *od in the croak of a frog$ was ;runos scornful re oinder. ;ut the !oice refused to gi!e up+ "hy would you think *od in!ented the sound$ ;runo decided to find out why. )e leaned out of his window and ga!e the order, SingG The bullfrogs measured croaking filled the air to the ludicrous accompaniment of all the frogs in the !icinity. <nd as ;runo attended to the sound, their !oices ceased to ar for he disco!ered that, if he stopped resisting them, they actually enriched the silence of the night. "ith that disco!ery ;runos heart became harmonious with the uni!erse and, for the first time in his life he understood what it means to pray. *************** 1 >asidi$ ta e( The ,ews of a small town in Eussia were eagerly awaiting the arri!al of a Eabbi. This was going to be a rare e!ent so they spent a lot of time preparing the Cuestions they were going to put to the holy man.

"hen he finally arri!ed and they met with him in the town hall, he could sense the tension in the atmosphere as all prepared to listen to the answers he had for them. )e said nothing at first( he ust ga.ed into their eyes, and hummed a haunting melody. Soon e!eryone began to hum. )e started to sing and they sang along with him. )e swayed and danced in solemn, measured steps. The congregation followed suit. Soon they became so in!ol!ed in the dance, so absorbed in its mo!ements that they were lost to e!erything else on earth( so e!ery person in that crowd was made whole, was healed from the inner fragmentation that keeps us from the Truth. &t was nearly an hour before the dance slowed down to a halt. "ith the tension drained out of their inner being e!eryone sat in the silent peace that per!aded the room. Then the Eabbi spoke the only words he pronounced that e!ening+ & trust that & ha!e answered your Cuestions. 1 dervish #as asked #hy he #orshipped ?od through dan$e. )'e$ause.+ he rep ied% )to worship *od means to die to se !; dan$ing ki s the se !. @hen the se ! dies a prob ems die #ith it. @here the se ! is not. Aove is. ?od is. ) *************** The Master sat with his disciples in the audience. )e said, Aou ha!e heard many a prayer and said many a prayer. Tonight & should like you to see one. <t that moment the curtain rose and the ballet began. *************** < Sufi saint set out on a pilgrimage to Mecca. <t the outskirts of the city he lay down by the road, e:hausted from his ourney. )e had barely fallen asleep when he brusCuely awakened by an irate pilgrim. This is the time when all belie!ers bow their heads towards Mecca and you ha!e your feet pointing towards the holy shrine. "hat sort of Muslim are you$ The Sufi did not mo!e( he merely opened his eyes and said, ;rother, would you do me the fa!our of placing my feet where they wont be pointing to the 9ord$ "he prayer o! a devotee to the Aord ,ishnu( 9ord, I ask you to pardon me !or three ma6or sins( !irst% I #ent on pi grimage to your many shrines% ob ivious o! your presen$e every#here; se$ond% I so o!ten $ried to you !or he p% !orgetting that you are more $on$erned than I am about my #e !are; and !ina y% here I am asking !or !orgiveness #hen I kno# that our sins are !orgiven be!ore #e $ommit them.+ *************** <fter many years of labour an in!entor disco!ered the art of making fire. )e took his tools to the snow-clad northern regions and initiated a tribe into the art8and the ad!antages8of making fire. The people became so absorbed in this no!elty that it did not occur to them to thank the in!entor who one day Cuietly slipped away. ;eing one of those rare human beings endowed with greatness, he had no desire to be remembered or re!ered( all he sought was the satisfaction of knowing that someone had benefited from his disco!ery.

The ne:t tribe he went to was ust as eager to learn as the first. ;ut the local priests, ealous of the strangers hold on the people, had him assassinated. To allay any suspicion of the crime, they had a portrait of the *reat &n!entor enthroned upon the main altar of the temple( and a liturgy designed so that his name would be re!ered and his memory kept ali!e. The greatest care was taken that not a single rubric of the liturgy was altered or omitted. The tools for making /ire were enshrined within a casket and were said to bring healing to all who laid their hands on them with faith. The )igh 'riest himself undertook the task of compiling a 9ife of the &n!entor. This became the )oly book in which his lo!ing kindness was offered as an e:ample for all to emulate, his glorious deeds were eulogi.ed, his superhuman nature made an article of faith. The priests saw to it that the ;ook was handed down to future generations, while they authoritati!ely interpreted the meaning of his words and the significance of his holy life and death. <nd they ruthlessly punished with death or e:communication anyone who de!iated from their doctrine. -aught up as they were in these religious tasks, the people completely forgot the art of making fire. Brom the Aives o! the Desert Bathers( 1bbot Aot $ame to 1bbot Joseph and said% )Bather% a$$ording to my $apa$ity I keep my itt e ru e and my itt e !ast% my prayer% my meditation% my $ontemp ative si en$e; and a$$ording as I am ab e I $ eanse my heart o! evi thoughts. Co# #hat more shou d I do=< "he e der stood up in rep y. >e stret$hed out his hand to heaven and his !ingers be$ame !ire ten amps o! !ire. >e said( )"his( be$ome tota y $hanged into !ire.+ *************** < cobbler came to Eabbi &saac of *er and said. Tell me what to do about my morning prayer. My customers are poor men who ha!e only one pair of shoes. & pick up their shoes late in the e!ening and work on them most of the night( at dawn there is still work to be done if the men are to ha!e their shoes ready before they go to work. 1ow my Cuestion is+ "hat should & do about my morning prayer$ "hat ha!e you been doing till now$ the Eabbi asked. Sometimes & rush through the prayer Cuickly and get back to my work8but then & feet bad about it <t other times & let the hour of prayer go by Then too & feel a sense of loss and e!ery now and then, as f raise my hammer from the shoes, & can almost hear my heart sigh. "hat an unlucky man & am that & am not able to make my morning prayer. Said the Eabbi. &f & were *od & would !alue that more than the prayer. *************** 1 >asidi$ ta e( 9ate one e!ening a poor farmer on his way back from the market found himself without his prayer book. The wheel of his cart had come off right in the middle of the woods and it distressed him that this day should pass without his ha!ing said his prayers. So this is the prayer he made+ & ha!e done something !ery foolish, 9ord. & came away from home this morning without my prayer book and my memory is such that & cannot recite a single prayer without it. So this is what & am going to do+ & shall recite the

alphabet fi!e times !ery slowly and you, to whom all prayers are known, can put the letters together to form the prayers & cant remember, <nd the 9ord said to his angels, @f all the prayers & ha!e heard today, this one was undoubtedly the best because it came from a heart that was simple and sincere. *************** &t is the custom among -atholics to confess their sins to a priest and recei!e absolution from him as a sign of *ods forgi!eness. 1ow all too often there is the danger that penitents will use this as a sort of guarantee, a certificate that will protect them from di!ine retribution, thereby placing more trust in the absolution of the priest than in the mercy of *od. This is what 'erugini, an &talian painter of the Middle <ges, was tempted to do when he was dying. )e decided that he would not go to confession if, in his fear, he was seeking to sa!e his skin. That would be a sacrilege and an insult to *od. )is wife, who knew nothing of the mans inner disposition, once asked him if he did not fear to die unconfessed. 'erugini replied+ 9ook at it this way, my dear+ My profession is to paint and & ha!e e:celled as a painter. *ods profession is to forgi!e and if he is good at his profession as & ha!e been at mine, & see no reason to be afraid. *************** The &ndian sage, 1arada, was a de!otee of the 9ord )ari. So great was his de!otion that he was one day tempted to think that in all the world there was no one who lo!ed *od more than he. The 9ord read his heart and said, 1arada, go to this town on the banks of the *anges for a de!otee of mine dwells there- 9i!ing in his company will do you good 1arada went and found a farmer who rose early in the morning, pronounced the name of )ari only once, /hen lifted his plough and went out to his fields where he worked all day. ,ust before he fell asleep at night he pronounced the name of )ari once again. 1arada thought, )ow can this rustic be a de!otee of *od$ & see him immersed all day in his worldly occupations. Then the 9ord said to 1arada, 0ill a bowl to the brim with milk and walk all round the city. Then come back without spilling a single drop. 1arada did as he was told. )ow many times did you remember me in the course of your walk around the city$ asked the 9ord. #1ot once. 9ord. said 1arada. )ow could & when you commanded me to watch that bowl of milk. The 9ord said, That bowl so absorbed your attention that you forgot me altogether. ;ut look at that peasant who though burdened with the cares of supporting a family, remembers me twice e!ery day$ *************** The !illage priest was a holy man so each time the people were in trouble they had recourse to him. )e would then withdraw to a special place in the forest and say a special prayer. *od would always hear his prayer and the !illage would be helped.

"hen he died and the people were in trouble they had recourse lo his successor who was not a holy man but knew the secret of the special place in the forest and the special prayer. So he said. 9ord, you know & am not a holy man. ;ut surely you are not going to hold that against my people$ So listen to my prayer and come to our assistance. <nd *od would hear his prayer and the !illage would be helped. "hen he too died and the people were in trouble they had recourse to his successor who knew the special prayer but not the place in the forest. So he said. "hat do you care for places, 9ord$ &s not e!ery place made holy by your presence$ So listen to my prayer and come to our assistance. <nd once again *od would hear his prayer and the !illage would be helped. 1ow he too died and when the people were in trouble they had recourse to his successor who did not know the special prayer or the special place in the forest. So he said. &t isnt the formula that you !alue. 9ord, but the cry of the heart in distress. So listen to my prayer and come to our assistance. <nd once again *od would hear his prayer and the !illage would be helped. <fter this man died when the people were in trouble they had recourse to his successor. 1ow this priest had more use for money than for prayer. So he would say to *od, "hat sort of a *od are you that while you are perfectly capable of sol!ing problems that you yourself ha!e caused, you still refuse to lift a finger until you ha!e us cringe and beg and plead$ "ell, you can do as you please with the people. Then he would go right back to whate!er business he had in hand. <nd, once again, *od would hear his prayer and the !illage would be helped. *************** <n elderly woman who was an enthusiastic gardener declared that she had no faith whatsoe!er in predictions that some day scientists would learn to control the weather. <ccording to her all that was needed to control the weather was prayer. Then one summer, while she was away on a foreign trip, a drought hit the land and wiped out her entire garden. She was so upset when she got back that she changed her religion. She shou d have $hanged her si y be ie!s. ****************** It<s no good having our prayers ans#ered I! they are not ans#ered at the right time( &n ancient &ndia much store was set by the %edic rites which were said to be so scientific in their application that when the sages prayed for rain there was ne!er any drought. &t is thus that a man set himself to pray, according to these rites, to the goddess of wealth, 9akshmi, begging her to make him rich. )e prayed to no effect for ten long years, after which period of time, he suddenly saw the illusory nature of wealth and adopted the life of a renunciate in the )imalayas. )e was sitting in meditation one day when he opened his eyes and saw before him an e:traordinarily beautiful woman, all bright and shining as if she were made of gold. "ho are you and what are you doing here$ he asked.

& am the goddess 9akshmi to whom you recited hymns for twel!e years, said the woman. & ha!e appeared to grant you your desire. ****************** <h, my dear goddess, e:claimed the man, & ha!e since attained the bliss of meditation and lost my desire for wealth. Aou come too late. Tell me, why did you delay so long in coming$ To tell you the truth, said the goddess, *i!en the nature of those rites you so faithfully performed you had fully earned the wealth. ;ut, in my lo!e for you and my desire for your welfare, & held it back. I! you had the $hoi$e% #hi$h #ou d you $hoose( the granting o! your petition or the gra$e to be pea$e!u #hether it is granted or not= *************** @ne day Mulla 1asruddin saw the !illage schoolmaster leading a group of children towards the mosCue. "hat are you taking them there for$ he asked. There is a drought in the land, said the teacher, and we trust that the cries of the innocent will mo!e the heart of the <lmighty. &t isnt the cries, whether innocent or criminal, that count, said the Mulla, but wisdom and awareness. )ow dare you make such a blasphemous statement in the presence of these childrenG cried the teacher. 'ro!e what you ha!e said, or you shall be denounced as a heretic. Dasy enough, said 1asruddin. &f the prayers of children counted for anything there wouldnt be a school teacher in all the land, for there is nothing they so detest as going to school. The reason you ha!e sur!i!ed those prayers is that we, who know better than the children, ha!e kept you where you are$ *************** < pious old man prayed fi!e times a day while his business partner ne!er set foot in church. <nd now, on his eightieth birthday he prayed thus+ @h 9ord our *odG Since & was a youth not a day ha!e & allowed to pass without coming to church in the morning and saying my prayers at the fi!e specified times. 1oG a single mo!e, not one decision, important or trifling did & make without first in!oking your 1ame. <nd now, in my old age, & ha!e doubled my e:ercises of piety and pray to you ceaselessly, night and day. Aet here & am, poor as a church mouse. ;ut look at my business partner. )e drinks and gambles and, e!en at his ad!anced age, consorts with women of Cuestionable character yet hes rolling in wealth. & wonder if a single prayer has e!er crossed his lips. 1ow, 9ord, & do not ask that he be punished, for that would be unchristian. ;ut please tell me+ "hy, why, why... ha!e you let him prosper and why do you treat me thus$ ;ecause, said *od in reply, you are such a monumental boreG

"he Ru e in a monastery #as not% )Do not speak%+ but% )Do not speak un ess you $an improve on the si en$e.+ -ight not the same be said o! prayer= *************** *! prayers and prayers( *randmother+ Ho you say your prayers e!ery night$ *randson+ @h, yesG <nd e!ery morning$ 1o. &m not scared in the daytime. *************** 'ious old lady, after the war+ *od was !ery good to us. "e prayed and prayed, so ail the bombs fell on the other side of the townG *************** So intolerable had )itlers persecution of the ,ews become that two ,ews decided to assassinate him. They mounted guard, their guns at the ready, at a spot by which they knew the 0uehrer was to pass. )e was long in coming and a horrible thought occurred to Samuel. ,oshua. he said, say a prayer that nothings happened to the manG *************** They had made it their custom to in!ite their pious aunt to go with them on their picnic each year. This year they forgot. "hen the in!itation did come at the last minute, she said, &ts too late now. &!e already prayed for rain. *************** < priest obser!ed a woman sitting in the empty church with her head in her hands. <n hour passed. Then two. Still she was there. ,udging her to be a soul in distress, and eager to be of assistance, he went up to the woman and said. &s there any way & can be of help$ 1o, thank you. 0ather. she said. &!e been getting all the help & need. Dnti you interrupted8 *************** <n old man would sit motionless for hours on end in church. @ne day a priest asked him what *od talked to him about. *od doesnt talk. )e ust listens, was his reply. "ell, then what do you talk to him about$ & dont talk either. & ust listen. "he !our stages o! Prayer; I ta k% you isten. 4ou ta k% I isten. Ceither ta ks% both isten.

Ceither ta ks% neither istens( Si en$e *************** The Sufi ;aya.id ;istami describes his progress in the art of prayer+ The first time & !isited the Faaba at Mecca, & saw the Faaba. The second time & saw the 9ord of the Faaba. The third time & saw neither the Faaba nor the 9ord of the Faaba. *************** The Moghul Dmperor, <kbar, was one day out hunting in the forest. "hen it was time for e!ening prayer he dismounted, spread his mat on the earth and knelt to pray in the manner of de!out Muslims e!erywhere. 1ow it was precisely at this time that a peasant woman, perturbed by the disappearance of her husband who had left home that morning and hadnt returned, went rushing by, an:iously searching for her husband. &n her preoccupation she did not notice the kneeling figure of the Dmperor and tripped o!er him, then got up and without a word of apology rushed further into the forest. <kbar was annoyed at this interruption but, being a good Muslim, he obser!ed the rule of speaking to no one during the namaa.. 1ow ust about the time that his prayer was o!er the woman returned, oyful in the company of her husband whom she had found. She was surprised and frightened to see the Dmperor and his entourage there. <kbar ga!e !ent to his anger against her and shouted, D:plain your disrespectful beha!iour or you will be punished. The woman suddenly turned fearless, looked into the Dmperors eyes and said, Aour Ma esty, & was so absorbed in the thought of my husband that & did not e!en see you here, not e!en when, as you say, & stumbled o!er you. 1ow while you were at namaa., you were absorbed in one who is infinitely more precious than my husband. <nd how is it you noticed. The Dmperor was shamed into silence and later confided to his friends that a peasant woman, who was neither a scholar nor a Mullah, had taught him the meaning of prayer. *************** @nce the Master was at prayer. The disciples came up to him and said, Sir, teach us how to pray. This is how he taught them.... Two men were once walking through a field when they saw an angry bull. &nstantly they made for the nearest fence with the bull in hot pursuit. &t soon became e!ident to them that they were not going to make it, so one man shouted to the other, "e!e had itG 1othing can sa!e us. Say a prayer. BuickG The other shouted back, &!e ne!er prayed in my life and & dont ha!e a prayer for this occasion. 1e!er mind. The bull is catching up with us. <ny prayer will do. "ell, &ll say the one & remember my father used to say before meals( for what we are about to recei!e. 9ord, make us truly grateful. Cothing surpasses the ho iness o! those #ho have earnt per!e$t a$$eptan$e

o! everything that is. In the game o! $ards $a ed i!e one p ays the hand one is dea t to the best o! one<s abi ity. "hose #ho insist on p aying% not the hand they #ere given but the one they insist they shou d have been dea t these are i!e<s !ai ures. @e are not asked i! #e #i p ay. "hat is not an option. P ay #e must "he option is ho#. *************** < rabbi once asked a pupil what was bothering him. My po!erty, was the reply. So wretched is my condition that & can hardly study and pray. &n this day and age, said the rabbi, the finest prayer and the finest study lie in accepting life e:actly as you find it. *************** @n a bitterly cold day a rabbi and his disciples were huddled around a fire. @ne of the disciples echoing his masters teachings, said, @n a free.ing day like this & know e:actly what to doG "hat$ asked the others. Feep warmG <nd if that isnt possible, & still know what to do. "hat$ 0ree.e. Present Rea ity $annot rea y be re6e$ted or a$$epted. "o run a#ay !rom it is ike running a#ay !rom your !eet. "o a$$ept it is ike kissing your ips. 1 you need to do is see% understand% and be at rest. ***************

< man went to see a psychiatrist and said that e!ery night he was !isited by a twel!efoot dragon with three heads. )e was a ner!ous wreck, could not sleep at all and was on the !erge of total collapse. )e had e!en thought of suicide. & think & can help you, said the psychiatrist, but & must warn you that it will take a year or two and will cost three thousand dollars. Three thousand dollarsG the man e:claimed. 0orget itG &ll ust go home and make friends with it. *************** The Muslim mystic, 0arid, was pre!ailed upon by his neighbours to go to the court in Helhi and obtain a fa!our from <kbar for the !illage. 0arid walked into the court and found <kbar at his prayers+ "hen the Dmperor finally emerged, 0arid asked. "hat sort of prayer did you make$ & prayed that the <ll-Merciful would bestow success and wealth and long life on me, was the reply. 0arid promptly turned his back on the Dmperor and walked away, remarking, & came to see an Dmperor. "hat & find here is a beggar no different from the restG *************** There was once a woman who was religious and de!out and filled with lo!e for *od. Dach morning she would go to -hurch. <nd on her way children would call out to her, beggars would accost her, but so immersed was she in her de!otions that she did not e!en see them. 1ow one day she walked down the street in her customary manner and arri!ed at the church ust in time for ser!ice. She pushed the door, but it would not open. She pushed it again harder, and found the door was locked. Histressed at the thought that she would miss ser!ice for the first time in years, and not knowing what to do, she looked up. <nd there, right before her face, she found a note pinned on to the door. &t said, &m out thereG *************** @f a saint it used to be said that each time he left home to go and perform his religious duties he would say, <nd now, 9ord, goodbyeG & am off to -hurch. *************** < monk was walking in the monastery grounds one day when he heard a bird sing. )e listened, spellbound. &t seemed to him that ne!er before had he heard, but really heard, the song of a bird. "hen the singing stopped he returned to the monastery and disco!ered, to his dismay, that he was a stranger to his fellow monks, and they to him. &t was only gradually that they and he disco!ered that he was returning after centuries. ;ecause his listening was total, time had stopped and he had slipped into eternity. Prayer is made per!e$t

#hen the time ess is dis$overed. "he time ess is dis$overed through $ arity o! per$eption. Per$eption is made $ ear #hen it is disengaged !rom pre$on$eptions and !rom a $onsideration o! persona oss or gain. E"hen the mira$u ous is seen and the heart is !i ed #ith #onder. *************** "hen the Master in!ited the *o!ernor to practise meditation and the *o!ernor said he was too busy, this is the reply he got+ Aou put me in mind of a man walking blind-folded into the ungle8and too busy to take the blindfold off. "hen the *o!ernor pleaded lack of time, the Master said, &t is a mistake to think that meditation cannot be practised for lack of time. The real cause is agitation of the mind. *************** <n efficiency e:pert was making his report to )enry 0ord. <s you well see. sir, the report is highly fa!ourable, e:cept for that man down the hall. D!ery time & pass by hes sitting with his feet on his desk. )es wasting your money. Said 0ord. That man once had an idea that earned us a fortune. <t the time & belie!e his feet were e:actly where they are now. There #as an e/hausted #ood$utter #ho kept #asting time and energy $hopping #ood #ith a b unt a/e be$ause he did not have the time% he said% to stop and sharpen the b ade. *************** @nce upon a time there was a forest where the birds sang by day and the insects by night. Trees flourished, flowers bloomed and all manner of creatures roamed about in freedom. <nd all who entered there were led to Solitude which is the home of *od who dwells in 1atures silence and 1atures beauty. ;ut then the <ge of =nconsciousness arri!ed when it became possible for people to construct buildings a thousand feet high and to destroy ri!ers and forests and mountains in a month. So houses of worship were built from the wood of the forest trees and from the stone under the forest soil. 'innacle, spire and minaret pointed towards the sky( the air was filled with the sound of bells, with prayer and chant and e:hortation. <nd *od was suddenly without a home. ?od hides things by putting them be!ore our eyes8

>ark8 Aisten to the song o! the bird% the #ind in the trees% the o$ean roar; ook at a tree% a !a ing ea!% a ! o#er as i! !or the !irst time. 4ou might sudden y make $onta$t #ith Rea ity #ith that Paradise !rom #hi$h #e% having !a en !rom $hi dhood% are e/$ uded by our kno# edge. Says the Indian mysti$ Saraha( )Fno# the taste o! this ! avour @hi$h is the absen$e o! Fno# edge. ****************** AWARENESS < great religious persecution broke out in the land and the three 'illars of religion. Scripture. "orship and -harity appeared before *od to e:press their fear that, if religion was stamped out, they would cease to e:ist. 1ot to worry. said the 9ord. & plan to send @ne to earth who is greater than all of you. ;y what name is this *reat @ne called$ Self-knowledge. said *od. )e will do greater things than any of you ha!e done. *************** Three wise men set out on a ourney for, e!en though they were considered wise in their own country, they were humble enough to hope that tra!el would broaden their minds. They had barely crossed into a neighbouring country when they saw a skyscraper in the distance. "hat could this enormous ob ect be, they asked themsel!es$ The ob!ious answer would ha!e been+ go up and find out. ;ut no, that might be too dangerous. Suppose it was something that e:ploded as one approached$ &t was altogether wiser to decide what it was before finding out. %arious theories were put forward, e:amined and, on the basis of their past e:perience, re ected. 0inally, it was determined, also on the

basis of past e:perience of which they had an abundant supply, that the ob ect in Cuestion, whate!er it was could only ha!e been placed there by giants. This led them to the conclusion that it would be safer to a!oid this country altogether. So they went back home ha!ing added something to their fund of e:perience. 1ssumptions a!!e$t *bservation. *bservation breeds 3onvi$tion. 3onvi$tion produ$es ./perien$e. ./perien$e generates 'ehaviour% #hi$h% in turn% $on!irms 1ssumptions. *************** 1ssumptions( < couple of hunters chartered a plane to fly them into forest territory. Two weeks later the pilot came to take them back. )e took a look at the animals they had shot and said, This plane wont take more than one wild buffalo. Aoull ha!e to lea!e the other behind. ;ut last year the pilot let us take two in a plane this si.e, the hunters protested. The pilot was doubtful, but finally he said, "ell, if you did it last year & guess we can do it again. So the plane took off with the three men and two buffaloes. ;ut it couldnt gain height and crashed into a neighbouring hill. The men climbed out and looked around. @ne hunter said to the other, "here do you think we are$ The other inspected the surroundings and said. & think were about two miles to the left of where we crashed last year. *************** <nd more assumptions+ < married couple was returning from the funeral of =ncle *eorge who had li!ed with them for twenty years and had been such a nuisance that he almost succeeded in wrecking their marriage. There is something & ha!e to say to you, dear. said the man. &f it hadnt been for my lo!e for you & wouldnt ha!e put up with your =ncle *eorge for a single day. )-y =ncle *eorgeG she e:claimed in horror. & thought he was your =ncle *eorgeG *************** &n the summer of 24IJ the rumour of a famine swept through a pro!ince in a South <merican country. <ctually the crops were growing well, and the weather was perfect for a bumper har!est. ;ut on the strength of that rumour 3?,??? small farmers abandoned their farms and fled to the cities. ;ecause of their action the crops failed, thousands star!ed and the rumour about the famine pro!ed true. *************** Many, many years ago, back in the Middle <ges, the 'ope was urged by his ad!isors to banish the ,ews from Eome. &t was unseemly, they said that these people should be

li!ing unmolested in the !ery centre of -atholicism. <n edict of e!iction was drawn up and promulgated much to the dismay of the ,ews who knew that where!er else they went they could only e:pect worse treatment than was meted out to them in Eome. So they pleaded with the 'ope to reconsider the edict. The 'ope, a fair-minded man, offered them a sporting proposition+ 9et the ,ews appoint someone to debate with him in pantomime. &f their spokesman won the ,ews might stay. The ,ews met to consider this proposal. To turn it down was to be e!icted from Eome. To accept it was to court certain defeat, for who could win a debate in which the 'ope was both participant and udge$ Still, there was nothing for it but to accept. @nly, it was impossible to find someone to !olunteer for the task of debating with the 'ope. The burden of ha!ing the fate of the ,ews on his shoulders was more than anyone man could bear. 1ow when the synagogue anitor heard what was going on he came before the -hief Eabbi and !olunteered to represent his people in the debate. The anitor$ said the other rabbis when they heard of this. &mpossibleG "ell, said the chief Eabbi, 1one of us is willing. &t is either the anitor or no debate. Thus for lack of anyone else the anitor was appointed to debate with the 'ope. "hen the great day arri!ed, the 'ope sat on a throne in St 'eters sCuare surrounded by his cardinals, facing a large crowd of bishops, priests and faithful. 'resently the little ,ewish delegation arri!ed in their black robes and flowing beards, with the anitor in their midst. The 'ope turned to face the anitor and the debate began. The 'ope solemnly raised one finger and traced it across the hea!ens. The anitor promptly pointed with emphasis towards the ground. The 'ope seemed somewhat taken aback. D!en more solemnly he raised one finger again and kept it firmly before the ,anitors face. The anitor thereupon lifted three fingers and held them ust as firmly before the 'ope who seemed astonished by the gesture. Then the 'ope thrust his hand into his robes and pulled out an apple. "hereupon the anitor thrust his hand into his paper bag and pulled out a flat piece of mat.o. <t this the 'ope e:plained in a loud !oice, The ,ewish representati!e has won the debate. The edict of e!iction is hereby re!oked. The ,ewish leaders promptly surrounded the anitor and led him away. The cardinals clustered around the 'ope in astonishment. "hat happened, your )oliness$ then asked. &t was impossible for us to follow the rapid thrust and parry of the debate. The 'ope wiped the sweat from his forehead and said, That man is a brilliant theologian, a master in debate. & began by sweeping my hand across the sky to indicate that the whole uni!erse belongs to *od. )e thrust his finger downward to remind me that there is a place called )ell where the de!il reigns supreme. & then raised one finger to signify that *od is one. &magine my shock when he raised three fingers to indicate that this one *od manifests )imself eCually in three persons, thereby subscribing to our own doctrine of the TrinityG Fnowing that it was impossible to get the better of this theological genius & finally shifted the debate to another area. & pulled out an apple to indicate that according to some newfangled ideas the earth is round. )e instantly produced a flat piece of unlea!ened bread to remind me that, according to the ;ible, the earth is flat. So there was nothing to do but concede the !ictory to him.

;y now the ,ews had arri!ed at their synagogue. "hat happened they asked the anitor in bewilderment. The anitor was indignant. &t was all a lot of rubbish, he said. 9ook. 0irst the 'ope mo!es his hand like he is telling all the ,ews to get out of Eome. So & pointed downwards to make it clear to him that we were not going to budge. So he points a finger to me threateningly as if to say. Hont get fresh with me. So & point three fingers to tell him he was thrice as fresh with us when he arbitrarily ordered us out of Eome. The ne:t thing, & see him taking out his lunch. So & took out mine. *************** Rea ity% most y% is not #hat it is but #hat #e have de$ided it is( < little old ,ewish lady sits down in a plane ne:t to a big Swede and keeps staring at him. 0inally she turns to him and says, 'ardon me, are you ,ewish$ )e says, 1o. < few minutes later she turns to him again and says, Aou can tell me, you know8 you are ,ewish, arent you$ )e says, Most certainly not. She keeps studying him for some minutes, then says again, & can tell you are ,ewish. &n order to get rid of the annoyance the man says, @.F., so &m ,ewishG She-looks at him again, shakes her head and says. Aou certainly dont look it. @e !irst make our $on$ usions : then !ind some #ay to arrive at them. *************** < woman in the grocery department of a super-market bent down to pick up some tomatoes. <t that moment she felt a sharp pain shooting down herKback( she became immobili.ed and let out a shriek. < shopper standing ne:t to her leaned o!er knowingly and said, &f you think tomatoes are bad, you should see the price of the fishG is it Rea ity you are responding to or your assumptions about it= *************** < man got into a bus and found himself sitting ne:t to a youngster who was ob!iously a hippy. )e was wearing only one shoe. Aou!e e!idently lost a shoe, son. 1o man, came the reply. & found one. It is evident to me; that does not mean it is true. *************** < cowboy was riding across the desert when he came upon an &ndian lying on the road with his head and ear to the ground. )ow yah doing, chief$ said the cowboy.

;ig paleface with red hair dri!ing dark green Mercedes-;en. with *erman shepherd dog inside and license plate number SHT4JL going headed "est. *ee chief, yah mean you hear all that ust listening to the ground$ &m not listening to the ground. The S@; ran o!er me. *************** <n oyster saw a loose pearl that had fallen into the cre!ice of a rock on the ocean bed. <fter great effort she managed to retrie!e the pearl and place it ust beside her on a leaf. She knew that humans searched for pearls and thought, This pearl will tempt them, so they will take it and let me be. "hen a pearl di!er showed up, howe!er, his eyes were conditioned to look for oysters and not for pearls resting on lea!es. So he grabbed the oyster which did not happen to ha!e a pearl and allowed the real pearl to roll back into the cre!ice in the rock. 4ou kno# e/a$t y #here to ook. "hat is the reason #hy you !ai to !ind ?od. *************** < woman at a bank asked the cashier to cash a cheCue for her. -iting company policy the cashier asked her for identification. The woman gasped. 0inally, she managed to say, ;ut ,onathan, &m your motherG I! you think this is !unny% ho# $ome you !ai yourse ! to re$ogni7e the messiah= *************** < man took his new hunting dog out on a trial hunt. 'resently he shot a duck that fell into the lake. The dog walked o!er the water, picked the duck up and brought it to his master. The man was flabbergastedG )e shot another duck. @nce again, while he rubbed his eyes in disbelief, the dog walked o!er the water and retrie!ed the duck. )ardly daring to belie!e what he had seen, he called his neighbour for a shoot the following day. @nce again, each time he or his neighbour hit a bird the dog would walk o!er the water and bring the bird in. The man said nothing. 1either did his neighbour. 0inally, unable to contain himself any longer, he blurted out, Hid you notice anything strange about that dog$ The neighbour rubbed his chin pensi!ely. Aes, he finally said. -ome to think of it, & didG The son of a gun cant swimG It isn<t as i! i!e is not !u o! mira$ es. It<s more than that( it is mira$u ous% and anyone #ho stops taking it !or granted #i see it at on$e. *************** Thats a cle!er dog you ha!e there, said a man when he saw his friend playing cards with his dog. 1ot as cle!er as he looks, was the reply. D!ery time he gets a good hand he wags his tail.

*************** *randpa and grandma had Cuarrelled and grandma was so angry she would not speak to her husband. The following day grandpa had forgotten all about the Cuarrel, but grandma continued to ignore him and still wouldnt speak. 1othing grandpa did seemed to succeed in pulling her out of her sullen silence. 0inally he started rummaging in cupboards and drawers. <fter this had gone on for a few minutes, grandma could stand it no longer. "hat on earth are you looking for$ she demanded angrily. 'raised be *od, &!e found it, said grandpa with a sly smile. Aour !oiceG I! it is ?od you are ooking !or% ook some#here e se. *************** "hen the de!il saw a seeker enter the house of a Master he determined to do e!erything in his power to turn him back from his Cuest for Truth. So he sub ected the poor man to e!ery possible temptation+ wealth, lust, fame, power, prestige. ;ut the seeker was far too e:perienced in spiritual matters and was able to fight off the temptations Cuite easily, so great was his longing for spirituality. "hen he got into the Masters presence, he was somewhat taken aback to see the Master sitting on an upholstered chair and the disciples at his feet. This man certainly lacks the principal !irtue of the saints, humility, he thought to himself. )e then obser!ed other things about the Master that he did not like( for one thing, the Master took little notice of him. /& suppose that is because & do not fawn on him as the others do, he said to himself7. <lso the kind of clothes the Master wore and the somewhat conceited way he spoke. <ll of this led him to the conclusion that he had come to the wrong place and must continue his Cuest elsewhere. *************** <s he walked out of the room, the Master, who had seen the de!il seated in a corner of the room. said. Aou need not ha!e worried Tempter. )e was yours from the !ery first, you know. Su$h is the !ate o! those #ho% in their sear$h !or ?od% are #i ing to shed everything e/$ept their notions o! #hat ?od rea y is. *************** Peop e #ou d never sin i! they #ere a#are that ea$h time they sin it is themse ves they are damaging. -ost peop e are in too mu$h o! torpor% a as%

to have the s ightest a#areness o! #hat they are doing to themse ves. < drunkard was walking down a street with blisters in both of his ears. < friend asked him what had happened to cause the blisters. My wife left her hot iron on, so when the phone rang & picked the iron up by mistake. Aes, but what about the other ear$ The damned fool called backG *************** < famous %iennese surgeon told his students that a surgeon needed two gifts+ freedom from nausea and the power of obser!ation. )e then dipped a finger into some nauseating fluid and licked it, reCuesting each of the students to do the same. They steeled themsel!es to it and managed it without flinching. "ith a smile, the surgeon then said, *entlemen, & congratulate you on ha!ing passed the first test. ;ut not, unfortunately, the second, for not one of you noticed that the finger & licked was not the one & dipped into the fluid. *************** The priest of a fashionable parish had his ushers greet the people after Sunday ser!ice. )is wife persuaded him to take on this task himself. "ouldnt it be awful &f, after some years, you were not to know the members of your own parish$ she said. So the following Sunday the priest took up his post at the church door after ser!ice. The first one out of church was a woman in plain clothes, e!idently a newcomer to the parish. )ow do you do$ & am !ery glad to ha!e you here with us, he said, offering her his hand. Thank you, said the woman, somewhat taken aback. & hope we will see you often at our ser!ices. "e are always glad to see new faces, you know. Aes, sir. Ho you li!e in this parish$ The woman seemed at a loss what to say. &f you gi!e me your address, my wife and & will call on you some e!ening. Aou wouldnt ha!e to go far, sir. &m your cook *************** < tramp stood in the office of a wealthy man asking for alms. The man rang for his secretary and said, Ho you see this poor, unfortunate man here$ @bser!e how his toes stick out of his shoes, how frayed his trousers are, how tattered his coat. & am sure the man hasnt had a sha!e, a shower or a decent meal in days. &t breaks

my heart to see people in this wretched condition8so, *DT )&M @=T @0 MA S&*)T <T @1-DG 1 man #ith on y stumps !or arms and egs #as begging by the roadside. I #as so $ons$ien$e stri$ken the !irst time I sa# him that I gave him an a ms. "he se$ond time I gave him ess. "he third time I $o d b ooded y handed him over to the po i$e !or begging in a pub i$ p a$e and making a nuisan$e o! himse !. *************** The *uru meditating in his )imalayan ca!e opened his eyes to disco!er an une:pected !isitor sitting there before him8the abbot of a well-known monastery. "hat is it you seek$ asked the *uru. The abbot recounted a tale of woe. <t one time his monastery had been famous throughout the western world. &ts cells were filled with young aspirants and its church resounded to the chant of its monks. ;ut hard times had come on the monastery. 'eople no longer flocked there to nourish their spirit, the stream of young aspirants had dried up, the church was silent. There was only a handful of monks left and these went about their duties with hea!y hearts. 1ow this is what the abbot wanted to know+ &s it because of some sin of ours that the monastery has been reduced to this state$ Aes, said the *uru, a sin of ignorance. <nd what sin might that be$ @ne of your numbers is the Messiah in disguise and you are ignorant of this. )a!ing said that the *uru closed his eyes and returned to his meditation. Throughout the arduous ourney back to his monastery the abbots heart beat fast at the thought that the Messiah8but the Messiah himself8had returned to earth and was right there in the monastery. )ow is it he had failed to recogni.e him$ <nd who could it be$ ;rother -ook$ ;rother Sacristan$ ;rother Treasurer$ ;rother 'rior$ 1o, not he( he had too many defects alas. ;ut then the *uru had said he was in disguise. -ould those defects be one of his disguises$ -ome to think of it, e!eryone in the monastery had defects. <nd one of them had to be the MessiahG ;ack in the monastery he assembled the monks and told them what he had disco!ered. They looked at one another in disbelief. The Messiah$ )ere$ &ncredibleG ;ut he was supposed to be here in disguise. So, maybe. "hat if it were so-and-so$ @r the other one o!er there$ or.... @ne thing was certain+ &f the Messiah was there in disguise it was not likely that they would recogni.e him. So they took to treating e!eryone with respect and consideration. Aou ne!er know, they said to themsel!es when they dealt with one another, maybe this is the one.

The result of this was that the atmosphere in the monastery became !ibrant with oy. Soon do.ens of aspirants were seeking admission to the @rder8and once again the -hurch re-echoed with the holy and oyful chant of monks who were aglow with the spirit of 9o!e. *! #hat use is it to have eyes i! the heart is b ind= ****************** < prisoner li!ed in solitary confinement for years. )e saw and spoke to no one and his meals were ser!ed through an opening in the wall. @ne day an ant came into his cell. The man contemplated it in fascination as it crawled around the room. )e held it in the palm of his hand the better to obser!e it, ga!e it a grain or two, and kept it under his tin cup at night. @ne day it suddenly struck him that it had taken him ten long years of solitary confinement to open his eyes to the lo!eliness of an ant. @hen a !riend visited the Spanish painter . ?re$o at his home on a ove y spring a!ternoon he !ound him sitting in his room% the $urtains tight y dra#n. )3ome out into the sunshine%+ said the !riend. )Cot no#%+ . ?re$o rep ied. )It #ou d disturb the ight that is shining #ithin me.+ *************** The old rabbi had become blind and could neither read nor look at the faces of those who came to !isit him. < faith healer said to him, Dntrust yourself to my care and & will heal your blindness. There will be no need for that, replied the rabbi. & can see e!erything that & need to. Cot everyone #hose eyes are dosed is as eep. 1nd not everyone #ith open eyes $an see. *************** RELIGION "eary tra!eller+ "hy in the name of hea!en did they build the railway station three kilometres away from the !illage$ )elpful porter+ They must ha!e thought it would be a good idea to ha!e it near the trains, sir. 1n u tra9modern station three ki ometres a#ay !rom the tra$k is as mu$h o! an absurdity as a mu$h !re5uented temp e three $entimetres a#ay !rom i!e.

*************** The Famakura ;uddha was lodged in a temple until one day a mighty storm brought the temple down. Then for many years the massi!e statue stood e:posed to sun and rain and wind and the changes of the weather. "hen a priest began to raise funds to rebuild the temple, the statue appeared to him in a dream and said, That temple was a prison, not a home. 9ea!e me e:posed to the ra!ages of life. Thats where & belong. *************** Ho! ;er was an uncommon man. "hen people came into his presence they trembled. )e was a Talmudic scholar of repute, infle:ible, uncompressing in his doctrine. <nd he ne!er laughed. )e belie!ed firmly in self-inflicted pain and was known to fast for days on end. Ho! ;ers austerities finally got the better of him. )e fell seriously ill and there was nothing the doctors could do to cure him. <s a final resort someone made a suggestion+ "hy not seek the help of the ;aal Shem To!$ Ho! ;er agreed e!en though at first he resisted the idea because he strongly disappro!ed of ;aal Shem whom he considered to be something of a heretic. <lso while Ho! ;er belie!ed that life was only made meaningful by suffering and tribulation, ;aal Shem sought to alle!iate pain and openly preached that it was the spirit of re oicing that ga!e meaning to life. &t was past midnight when ;aal Shem answered the summons and dro!e up dressed in a coat of wool and a cap of the finest fur. )e walked into the sick mans room and handed him the ;ook of Splendour which Ho! ;er opened and began to read aloud. )e had hardly read for a minute when, so the story goes, ;aal Shem interrupted. Something is missing, he said. Something is lacking to your faith. <nd what is that$ the sick man asked. Soul, said the ;aal Shern To!. *************** @n a cold winter night a wandering ascetic asked for shelter in a temple. The poor man stood shi!ering there in the falling snow so the temple priest, reluctant though he was to let the man in, said. %ery well, you can stay but only for the night. This is a temple, not a hospice. &n the morning you will ha!e to go. <t dead of night the priest heard a strange crackling sound. )e rushed to the temple and saw an incredible sight. There was the stranger warming himself at a fire he had lit in the temple. < wooden ;uddha was missing. The priest asked, "here is the statue$ The wanderer pointed to the fire, then said. & thought this cold would kill me. The priest shouted, <re you out of your mind$ Ho you know what you ha!e done$ That was a ;uddha statue. Aou ha!e burnt the ;uddhaG The fire was slowly dying out. The ascetic ga.ed into it and began to poke it with his stick. "hat are you doing now$ the priest yelled. & am searching for the bones of the ;uddha whom you say & burnt.

"he priest ater reported the in$ident to a Gen -aster #ho said% )4ou must be a bad priest be$ause you va ued a dead 'uddha over a ive man. ) *************** Tetsugen, a student of Men, resol!ed on a mighty undertaking+ the printing of se!en thousand copies of the sutras which till then were a!ailable only in -hinese. )e tra!elled the length and breath of ,apan to collect funds for this pro ect. Some wealthy people offered him as much as a hundred pieces of gold but mostly he recei!ed small coins from peasants. Tetsugen e:pressed eCual gratitude to each donor regardless of the sum of money gi!en. <fter ten long years of tra!el he finally collected the funds necessary for the task. ,ust then the ri!er = i o!erflowed and thousands were left without food and shelter. Tetsugen spent all the money he had collected for his cherished pro ect on these poor people. Then he began the work of raising funds again. <gain it was se!eral years before he got the money he needed. Then an epidemic spread all o!er the country, so Tetsugen ga!e away all he had collected to help the suffering. @nce again he set out on his tra!el and, twenty years later, his dream of ha!ing the scriptures in the ,apanese language finally came true. The printing block that produced this first edition of the sutras is on display at the @baku Monastery in Fyoto. The ,apanese tell their children that Tetsugen got out three editions of the sutras in all( and that the first two are in!isible and far superior to the third. *************** Two brothers, one a bachelor, the other married, owned a farm whose fertile soil yielded an abundance of grain. )alf the grain went to one brother and half to the other. <ll went well at first. Then, e!ery now and then, the married man began to wake with a start from his sleep at night and think+ This isnt fair. My brother isnt married and he gets half the produce of the farm. )ere & am with a wife and fi!e kids, so & ha!e all the security & need for my old age. ;ut who will care for my poor brother when he gets old$ )e needs to sa!e much more for the future than he does at present, so his need is ob!iously greater than mine. "ith that he would get out of bed, steal o!er to his brothers place and pour a sack full of grain into his brothers granary. The bachelor too began to get these nightly attacks. D!ery once in a while he would wake from his sleep and say to himself+ This simply isnt fair. My brother has a wife and fi!e kids and he gets half the produce of the land. 1ow & ha!e no one e:cept myself to support. So is it ust that my poor brother, whose need is ob!iously greater than mine, should recei!e e:actly as much as & do$ Then he would get out of bed and pour a sack full of grain into his brothers granary. *************** @ne day they got out of bed at the same time and ran into each other, each with a sack of grain on his backG

Many years later, after their death, the story leaked out. So when the townsfolk wanted to build a temple they chose the spot at which the two brothers met for they could not think of any place in the town that was holier than that one. "he important re igious distin$tion is not bet#een those #ho #orship and those #ho do not #orship but bet#een those #ho ove and those #ho don<t. *************** < wealthy farmer burst into his home one day and cried out in an anguished !oice, Eebecca, there is a terrible story in town8the Messiah is hereG "hats so terrible in that$ asked his wife. & think its great. "hat are you so upset about$ "hat am & so upset about$ the man e:claimed. <fter all these years of sweat and toil we ha!e finally found prosperity. "e ha!e a thousand head of cattle( our barns are full of grain and our trees laden with fruit. 1ow we will ha!e to gi!e it all away and follow him. -alm down, said his wife consolingly. The 9ord our *od is good. )e knows how much we ,ews ha!e always had to suffer. "e had a 'haraoh, a )aman, a )itler8always somebody. ;ut our dear *od found a way to deal with them all, didnt )e$ ,ust ha!e faith, my dear husband. )e will find a way to deal with the Messiah too. *************** *oldstein, aged ninety-two, had li!ed through pogroms in 'oland, concentration camps in *ermany and do.ens of other persecutions against the ,ews. @h, 9ordG he said, &snt it true that we are your chosen people$ < hea!enly !oice replied. Aes, *oldstein, the ,ews are my chosen people. "ell, then, isnt it time you chose somebody else$ *************** <n atheist fell off a cliff. <s he tumbled downward he caught hold of the branch of a small tree. There he hung between hea!en abo!e and the rocks a thousand feet below, knowing he wasnt going to be able to hold on much longer. Then an idea came to him. *odG he shouted with all his might. SilenceG 1o one responded. *odG he shouted again. &f you e:ist, sa!e me and & promise & shall belie!e in you and teach others to belie!e. Silence againG Then he almost let go of the branch in shock as he heard a mighty %oice booming across the canyon. Thats what they all say when they are in trouble. *************** 1o, *od, noG he shouted out, more hopeful now. & am not like the others. "hy, & ha!e already begun to belie!e, dont you see, ha!ing heard your %oice for myself. 1ow all you ha!e to do is sa!e me and & shall proclaim your name to the ends of the earth. %ery well, said the %oice. & shall sa!e you. 9et go of that branch. 9et go of the branch$ yelled the distraught man. Ho you think &m cra.y$

It is said that #hen -oses thre# his #and into the Red Sea the e/pe$ted mira$ e did not take p a$e% it #as on y #hen the !irst man thre# himse ! into the sea that the #aves re$eded and the #ater divided itse ! to o!!er a dry passage to the Je#s. *************** Mulla 1asruddins house was on fire, so he ran up to his roof for safety. There he was, precariously perched on the roof, when his friends gathered in the street below holding a stretched out blanket to him and shouting, ,ump, Mullah, umpG @h no, & wont, said the Mullah. & know you fellows. &f & ump, youll pull the blanket away ust to make a fool of meG Hont be silly. Mullah. This isnt a oke. This is serious. ,umpG 1o, said 1asruddin. & dont trust any of you. 9ay that blanket on the ground and &ll ump. *************** The old miser was o!erheard at his prayers+ &f the <lmighty, may )is holy name be blessed fore!er, would gi!e me a hundred thousand dollars, & would gi!e ten thousand to the poor. & promise & would. <nd if the <lmighty, may )e be glorified fore!er, were not to trust me, let )im deduct the ten thousand in ad!ance and ust send me the balance. ****************** 'ilot to passengers in mid-flight+ & regret to inform you we are in terrible trouble. @nly *od can sa!e us now. < passenger turned to a priest to ask what the pilot had said and got this reply+ )e says theres no hopeG ****************** < Sufi saint, on pilgrimage to Mecca, was delighted to see that there were barely any pilgrims at the holy shrine when he got there, so he was able to perform his de!otions at leisure. )a!ing completed the prescribed religious practices, he knelt down and touched his fore-head to the ground and said, <llahG & ha!e only one desire in life. *i!e me the grace of ne!er offending you again. "hen the <ll-Merciful heard this he laughed aloud and said, Thats what they all ask for. ;ut if & granted e!eryone this grace, tell me, whom would & forgi!e$ @hen the sinner #as asked about the !ear ess #ay he #a ked into the temp e% he rep ied( )"here is no sing e person that sky does not $over; there is no sing e person that earth does not sustain : and ?od% is >e not earth and sky to everyone=+ ****************** < priest ordered his deacon to assemble ten men to chant prayers for the reco!ery of a sick man. "hen they had all come in, someone whispered into the ear of the priest, There are some notorious thie!es among those men. <ll the better, said the priest. "hen the *ates of Mercy are shut, these are the e:perts who will open them.

****************** < tra!eller was walking along the road one day when a man on horseback rushed by. There was an e!il look in his eyes and blood on his hands. Minutes later a crowd of riders drew up and wanted to know if the tra!eller had seen someone with blood on his hands go by. They were in hot pursuit of him. "ho is he$ the tra!eller asked. <n e!il-doer, said the leader of the crowd. <nd you pursue him in order to bring him to ustice$ 1o, said the leader, we pursue him in order to show him the way. Re$on$i iation a one #i save the #or d% not 6usti$e #hi$h is genera y another #ord !or revenge. *************** The poet <whadi of )erman was sitting on his porch one night, bent o!er a !essel. The Sufi Shams-e-Tabri.i happened to pass by. "hat are you doing$ he asked the poet. -ontemplating the moon in a bowl of water, was the reply. =nless you ha!e broken your neck, why dont you look directly at the moon in the sky$ @ords are inade5uate re! e$tions o! rea ity. 1 man thought he kne# #hat the "a6 -aha #as be$ause he #as sho#n a pie$e o! marb e and to d that the "a6 #as 6ust a $o e$tion o! pie$es ike that. 1nother one #as $onvin$ed that% be$ause he had seen Ciagara #ater in a bu$ket% he kne# #hat the Ba s #ere ike. *************** "hat a pretty baby you ha!e thereG This is nothingG Aou should see his photographsG *************** @ords 0and $on$epts2 are indi$ators% not re! e$tions% o! rea ity. 'ut% as the mysti$s o! the .ast de$ are. @hen the Sage points to the moon a that the idiot sees is the !inger8+ < drunk was staggering across a bridge one night when he ran into a friend. The two of them leaned o!er the bridge and began chatting for a while. "hats that down there$ asked the drunk suddenly. Thats the moon, said his friend. The drunk looked again, shook his head in disbelief and said, @kay, okay. ;ut how the hell did & get way up here. @e a most never see rea ity.

@hat #e see is a re! e$tion o! it in the !orm o! #ords and $on$epts #hi$h #e then pro$eed to take !or rea ity. "he #or d #e ive in is most y a menta $onstru$t. *************** Peop e !eed on #ords% >ue by #ords% #ou d !a apart #ithout them. < beggar tugged at the slee!es of a passer-by and begged for money to buy a cup of coffee. This was his tale+ There was a time, sir, when & was a wealthy businessman ust like you. & worked hard all day long. @n my desk was the motto+ T)&1F -ED<T&%D9A, <-T HD-&S&%D9A, 9&%D H<1*DE@=S9A. Thats the motto & li!ed by8and money ust kept pouring in. <nd then... and then... /the beggars frame shook with sobs7... the cleaning woman threw my motto out with the trash. @hen you s#eep out the temp e $ourtyard don<t stop to read the o d ne#spapers. @hen you are $ eaning out your heart doesn<t stop to ! irt #ith #ords. *************** There was once a man who was !ery stupid. Dach morning when he woke he had such a hard time finding his clothes that he almost feared to go to bed when he thought of the trouble he would ha!e on walking. @ne night he got himself a pencil and pad and otted down the e:act name and location of each item of clothing as he undressed. 1e:t morning he pulled out his pad and read, pants8there they were. )e stepped into them. Shirt8there it was. )e pulled it o!er his head. )at8there it was. )e slapped it on his head. )e was !ery pleased about all this till a horrible thought struck him. <nd &8where am &$ )e had forgotten to ot that down. So he searched and searched but in !ain. )e could not find himself. @hat about those #ho say% )I am reading this book to !ind out #ho I am+= ****************** @ne of the most renowned sages in ancient &ndia was S!etaketu. This is how he came by his wisdom+ "hen he was no more than se!en years of age he was sent by his father to study the %edas. ;y dint of application and intelligence the lad outshone all his fellow students till in time he was considered the greatest li!ing e:pert on the Scriptures8and this when he was barely past his youth. @n his return home his father wished to test the ability of his son. This is the Cuestion he put him+ )a!e you learned that by learning which there is no need to learn anything else$ )a!e you disco!ered that by disco!ering which all suffering ceases$ )a!e you mastered that which cannot be taught$ 1o, said S!etaketu.

Then. said his father, what you ha!e learnt in all these years is worthless, my son. So impressed was S!etaketu by the truth of his fathers words that he set off to disco!er through silence the wisdom which cannot be e:pressed in words. @hen the pond dries up and the !ish are ying on the par$hed earth% to moisten them #ith one<s breath or damp them #ith spitt e is no substitute !or ! inging them ba$k into the Jake. Don<t en iven peop e #ith do$trines; thro# them ba$k into Rea ity. Bor the se$ret o! i!e is to be !ound in i!e itse !:not in do$trines about it. ****************** < seeker asked the Sufi ,alaluddin Eumi if the Foran was a good book to read. )e replied, Aou should rather ask yourself if you are 2n a state to profit from it. 1 3hristian mysti$ used to say o! the 'ib e% )>o#ever use!u a menu% it is not good !or eating. ) *************** -hild in geography class+ The benefit of longitude and latitude is that when you are drowning you can call out what longitude and latitude you are in and they will find you. 'e$ause there is a #ord !or #isdom peop e imagine they kno# #hat it is. 'ut no one be$omes an astronomer !rom understanding the meaning o! the #ord )astronomy.+ Just be$ause% by b o#ing on the thermometer. 4ou got it to register higher. 4ou did not #arm the room. *************** D!ery day in the corner of a library in ,apan an old monk was to be found sitting in peaceful meditation. & ne!er see you read the sutras. said the librarian. & ne!er learnt to read. replied the monk. Thats a disgrace. < monk like you ought to be able to read. Shall & teach you$ Aes. Tell me, said the monk pointing to himself, what is the meaning of this character$ @hy ight a tor$h #hen the sun shines in the heavens= @hy #ater the ground #hen the rain pours do#n in torrents=

*************** < *uru promised a scholar a re!elation of greater conseCuence than anything contained in the scriptures. "hen the scholar eagerly asked for it, the *uru said, *o out into the rain and raise your head and arms hea!enward. That will bring you the first re!elation. The ne:t day the scholar came to report+ & followed your ad!ice and water flowed down my neck8<nd & felt like a perfect fool. "ell. said the *uru, for the first day thats Cuite a re!elation, isnt it$ *************** "he poet Fabir says+ @hat good is it i! the s$ho ar pores over #ords and points o! this and that but his $hest is not soaked dark #ith ove= @hat good is it i! the as$eti$ $ othes himse ! in sa!!ron robes but is $o our ess #ithin= @hat good is it i! you s$rub your ethi$a behaviour ti it shines% but there is no musi$ inside= Hisciple+ "hats the difference between knowledge and enlightenment$ Master+ "hen you ha!e knowledge you use a torch to show the way. "hen you are enlightened you become a torch. *************** < parachutist umped out of a plane on a windy day and was blown a hundred miles off course by a powerful gale. Then his parachute caught on a tree, so he hung there for hours in the middle of nowhere, shouting for help. 0inally someone passed by. )ow did you get up there on that tree$ he asked. The parachutist told him. Then asked, "here am &$ @n a tree, was the reply. )eyG Aou must be a clericG The stranger was stunned. Aes & am. )ow did you know$ ;ecause what you said is certainly true and ust as certainly useless. *************** < group was en oying the music at a -hinese restaurant. Suddenly a soloist struck up a !aguely familiar tune( e!eryone recogni.ed the melody but no one could remember its name. So they beckoned to the splendidly-clad waiter and asked him to find out what the musician was playing. The waiter waddled across the floor, then returned with a look of triumph on his face and declared in a loud whisper, %iolinG "he s$ho ar<s $ontribution to spiritua ity8 *************** The play was in progress at the !illage theatre when the curtain was suddenly lowered and the manager stepped before the audience.

9adies and gentlemen, he said, it distresses me deeply to ha!e to announce that the leading actor, our great and belo!ed mayor himself, has ust had a fatal heart attack in his dressing room. "e are therefore forced to stop the play. @n hearing this announcement a huge middle-aged woman in the front row stood up and shouted agitatedly+ BuickG *i!e him chicken brothG Madam, said the manager, the heart attack was fatal. The man is deadG So gi!e it to him at onceG The manager was desperate. Madam, he pleaded, "hat good will chicken broth do to a dead man$ "hat harm will it do$ she shouted. 3hi$ken broth does !or the dead #hat re igion does !or the un$ons$ious #hose number% a as% is egion. *************** < Master was surprised to hear shouting and altercation going on in his courtyard. "hen he was told that one of his disciples was at the centre of it, he had the man sent for and asked what the cause of the din was. There is a delegation of scholars that has come to !isit you. & told them you do not waste your time on men whose heads are stuffed with books and thoughts but de!oid of wisdom. These are the people who, in their conceit, create dogmas and di!isions among people e!erywhere. The Master smiled. )ow true, how true, he murmured. ;ut tell me, is not your conceit in claiming to be different from the scholars the cause of this present conflict and di!ision$ *************** < )indu Sage was ha!ing the 9ife of ,esus read to him. "hen he learned how ,esus was re ected by his people in 1a.areth, he e:claimed, < rabbi whose congregation does not want to dri!e him out of town isnt a rabbi. <nd when he heard how it was the priests who put ,esus to death, he said with a sigh, &t is hard for Satan to mislead the whole world, so he appoints prominent ecclesiastics in different parts of the globe. "he ament o! a bishop( )@herever ,esus #ent there #as a revo ution; #herever I go peop e serve tea8+ *************** @hen a mi ion peop e !o o# you ask yourse ! #here you have gone #rong. < ,ewish author e:plains that ,ews are not proselyti.ers. Eabbis are reCuired to make three separate efforts to discourage prospecti!e con!ertsG Spirituality is for the elite. &t will not compromise to become acceptable so it will not consort with the masses who want syrup, not medicine. @nce, when large crowds were following ,esus, this is what he said to them(

"hich of you would think of building a tower without first sitting down and estimating the cost to see if he can afford to finish it$ @r what king will march to battle against another king without first sitting down to consider if with ten thousand soldiers he will be able to do battle with an enemy who comes to meet him with twenty thousand$ &f he cannot, then, long before the enemy is near he sends emissaries and asks for terms. So also none of you can be a disciple of mine without the readiness to renounce all possessions. Peop e do not #ant truth. "hey #ant reassuran$e. *************** Said a preacher to a friend, "e ha!e ust had the greatest re!i!al our church has e:perienced in many years. )ow many did you add to your church membership$ 1one. "e lost fi!e hundred. Jesus #ou d have app auded8 ./perien$e sho#s% a as% that our re igious $onvi$tions bear as mu$h re ation to our persona ho iness as a mart<s dinner 6a$ket to his digestion. *************** <n ancient philosopher, dead for many centuries, was told that his teachings were being misrepresented by his representati!es. ;eing a compassionate and truth-lo!ing indi!idual, he managed, after much effort, to get the grace to come back to earth for a few days. it took him se!eral days to con!ince his successors of his identity. @nce that was established, they promptly lost all interest in what he had to say and begged him to disclose to them the secret for coming back to life from the gra!e. &t was only after considerable e:ertion that he finally con!inced them that there was no way he could impart this secret to them and that it was infinitely more important for the good of humanity that they restore his teaching to its original purity. < futile taskG "hat they said to him was, Hont you see that what is important is not what you taught but our interpretation of what you taught$ <fter all, you are only a bird of passage whereas we reside here permanently. @hen 'uddha dies% the s$hoo s are born. *************** <ll the philosophers, di!ines and doctors of the law were assembled in court for the trial of Mullah 1asruddin. The accusation was a serious one( he had been going from town to town saying, Aour so-called religious leaders are ignorant and confused. So he was charged with heresy, the penalty for which was death. Aou may speak first, said the -aliph. The Mullah was perfectly self-possessed. )a!e paper and pens brought in, he said, and gi!e them to the ten wisest men in this august assembly. To 1asruddins amusement, a great sCuabble broke out among the holy men as to who was the wisest among them. "hen the contention died down and each of the chosen ten

was eCuipped with paper and pen, the Mullah said, )a!e each of them write down the answer to the following Cuestion+ ")<T &S M<TTDE M<HD @0$ *************** The answers were written down and handed to the -aliph who read them out. @ne said, &t is made of nothing. <nother said, Molecules. Aet another, Dnergy. @thers, 9ight, & do not know, Metaphysical ;eing and so on. Said 1asruddin to the -aliph, "hen they come to an agreement on what matter &s, they will be fit to udge Cuestions of the spirit. &s it not strange that they cannot agree on something that they themsel!es are made of, yet they are unanimous in their !erdict that & am a heretic$ It is not the diversity o! our dogmas but our dogmatism that does the damage. "hus% i! ea$h o! us did #hat #e are !irm y persuaded is the #i o! ?od the resu t #ou d be utter $haos. 3ertainty is the $u prit. "he spiritua person kno#s un$ertainty : a state o! mind unkno#n to the re igious !anati$. @ne night a fisherman stole into the grounds of a rich man and cast his net into a lake full of fish. The owner heard him and set his guards upon him. "hen he saw the crowd searching for him e!erywhere with lighted torches, the fisherman hastily smeared his body with ashes and sat under a tree, as is the custom with holy men in &ndia. The owner and his guards could find no poacher, though they searched for a long time. <ll they found was a holy man co!ered with ashes sitting under a tree absorbed in meditation. The ne:t day word spread e!erywhere that a great sage had designed to take up residence in the grounds of the rich man. 'eople gathered with flowers and fruits and food and e!en a lot of money to pay obeisance to him for it is piously belie!ed that gifts, when made to a holy man, bring *ods blessing upon the gi!er. The fisherman turned sage was astounded at his good fortune. &t is easier to make a li!ing on the faith of these people than by the toil of my hands, he said to himself. So he continued to meditate and ne!er went back to work again. *************** < king dreamt that he saw a king in paradise and a priest in hell. )e wondered how this could be then he heard a %oice say, The king is in paradise because he respected priests. The priest is in hell because he compromised with kings. ***************

"hen Sister asked the children in her class what they wanted to be when they grew up little Tommy said he wanted to be a pilot. Dlsie said she wanted to be a doctor, ;obby to Sisters great oy, said he wanted to become a priest. Then Mary stood up and declared she wanted to be a prostitute, "hat was that again, Mary$ "hen & grow up, said Mary with the air of someone who knew e:actly what she wanted, & shall become a prostitute. Sister was startled beyond words. Mary was immediately segregated from the rest of the children and taken to the 'arish 'riest. 0ather was gi!en the facts in broad outline but he wanted to check them out with the culprit, Tell me what happened in your own words, Mary. "ell, said Mary, somewhat taken aback by all this fuss, Sister asked me what & wanted to become when & grew up and & said & wanted to become a prostitute. Hid you say prostitute$ asked 0ather, double-checking. Aes. )ea!ensG "hat a reliefG "e all thought you said you were going to become a 'rotestantG *************** Eabbi <braham had li!ed an e:emplary life. <nd when his time arri!ed, he left this world surrounded by the blessings of his congregation who had come to regard him as a saint and as the principal cause of all the blessings they had recei!ed from *od. &t was no different at the other end, for the angels came forward to welcome him with shouts of praise. Throughout the festi!ities the Eabbi seemed withdrawn and distressed. )e kept his head in his hands and refused to be comforted. )e was finally taken before the ,udgement Seat where he felt himself en!eloped by a 9o!ing Findness that was infinite and he heard a %oice of infinite tenderness say to him, "hat is it that distresses you, my son$ Most )oly @ne, replied the Eabbi, & am unworthy of all the honours that are bestowed on me here. D!en though & was considered to be an e:ample to the people, there must ha!e been something wrong with my life, for my only son, in spite of my e:ample and my teaching, abandoned our faith and became a -hristian. 9et that not disturb you, my son. & understand e:actly how you feel, for & ha!e a son who did the same thingG *************** &n ;elfast, &reland, a -atholic priest, a 'rotestant minister and a ,ewish rabbi were engaged in a heated theological discussion. Suddenly an <ngel appeared in their midst and said to them, *od sends you his blessings. Make one wish for 'eace and your wish will be fulfilled by the <lmighty. The minister said, 9et e!ery -atholic disappear from our lo!ely island. Then peace will reign supreme.

The priest said, 9et there not be a single 'rotestant left on our sacred &rish soil. That will bring peace to this island, <nd what about you, Eabbi$ said the <ngel. Ho you ha!e no wish of your own$ 1o, said the rabbi. ,ust attend to the wishes of these two gentlemen and & shall be well pleased. Aitt e boy( )1re you a Presbyterian=+ Aitt e gir ( )Co. @e be ong to a di!!erent abomination.+ *************** < hunter sent his dog !ter something that mo!ed behind the trees. It chased out a fo: and corralled it into a position where the hunter could shoot it. The dying fo: said to the hound, "ere you ne!er told that the fo: is brother to the dog$ & was, indeed, said the dog. ;ut thats for idealists and fools. 0or the practicalminded, brotherhood is created by identity of interests. Said the 3hristian to the 'uddhist; )@e $ou d be brothers% rea y. 'ut that<s !or idea ists and !oo s. Bor the pra$ti$a 9minded% brotherhood ies in identity o! be ie!s. ) -ost peop e% a as% have enough re igion to hate but not enough to ove. *************** &n his autobiography, Mahatma *andhi tells how in his student days in South <frica he became deeply interested in the ;ible, especially the Sermon on the Mount. )e become con!inced that -hristianity was the answer to the caste system that had plagued &ndia for centuries, and he seriously considered becoming a -hristian. @ne day he went to a church to attend Mass and get instructions. )e was stopped at the entrance and gently told that if he desired to attend Mass he was welcome to do so in a church reser!ed for blacks. )e left and ne!er returned. *************** < public sinner was e:communicated and forbidden entry to the church. )e took his woes to *od. They wont let me in. 9ord, because & am a sinner. "hat are you complaining about$ said *od. They wont let me in eitherG *************** < church or synagogue needs to raise money if it is to sur!i!e. 1ow there was once a ,ewish synagogue where they did not pass the collection plate around as they do in -hristian -hurches. Their way of raising money was to sell tickets for reser!ed seats on Solemn )oly Hays for that was when the congregation was the largest and the people most generous. @n one such )oly Hay a kid came to the synagogue in search of his father but the ushers wouldnt let him in because he did not ha!e a ticket. 9ook, said the youngster, this is a !ery important matter.

Thats what they all say, the usher replied, unmo!ed. The lad became desperate and began to plead. 'lease sir, let me in. This is a matter of life and death. &ll only be in a minute. The usher relented. "ell, @F if it is so important. he said. ;ut dont let me catch you prayingG *rgani7ed Re igion has its imitations% a as8 ****************** The preacher was more than ordinarily eloCuent and e!eryone, but e!eryone, was mo!ed to tears. "ell, not e!eryone e:actly, because there, in the front pew, sat a gentleman looking straight in front of him, Cuite unaffected by the sermon. <t the end of the ser!ice, someone said to him, Aou heard the sermon, didnt you$ @f course, & did, said the stony gentleman. & am not deaf. "hat did you think of it$ & thought it so mo!ing & could ha!e cried. <nd why, may & ask, did you not cry$ ;ecause, said the gentleman, & do not belong to this parish. ****************** <ccording to one story, when *od created the world and glorified in its goodness, Satan shared his rapture, in his own way, of course, for " he contemplated mar!el after mar!el, he kept e:claiming, )ow good it isG 9ets organi.e itG <nd take all the fun out of itG >ave you ever attempted to organi7e something ike pea$e= "he moment you do% 4ou have po#er $on! i$ts and group #ars #ithin the organi7ation. "he on y #ay to have pea$e is to et it gro# #i d. *************** < bishop was testing the suitability of a group of candidates for baptism. ;y what sign will others know that you are -atholics$ he asked. There was no reply. D!idently no one had e:pected this Cuestion. The bishop repeated the Cuestion. Then he said it once again, this time making the Sign of the -ross to gi!e the others a clue to the right answer. Suddenly one of the candidates got it, 9o!e he said. The bishop was taken aback. )e was about to say. "rong, then checked himself in the nick of time. ***************

Someone asked for the bishops imprimatur for a book for children that contained the parables of ,esus, a few simple illustrations and a few gospel sentences. 1ot a single word more. The imprimatur was gi!en with the customary disclaimer+ The imprimatur does not necessarily imply that the bishop agrees with the opinions e:pressed in this book. -ore organi7ationa pit!a s8 *************** >o# spiritua organi7ations gro#( < *uru was so impressed by the spiritual progress of his disciple that, udging he needed no further guidance, he left him on his own in a little hut on the banks of a ri!er. Dach morning after his ablutions the disciple would hang his loin-cloth out to dry. &t was his only possessionG @ne day he was dismayed to find it torn to shreds by rats. So he had to beg for another from the !illagers. "hen the rats nibbled holes in this one too, he got himself a kitten. )e had no more trouble with the rats but now, in addition to begging for his own food, he had to beg for milk as well. Too much trouble begging, he thought, and too much of a burden on the !illagers. & shall keep a cow. "hen he got the cow, he had to beg for fodder. Dasier to till the land around my hut, he thought. ;ut that pro!ed troublesome too for it left him little time for meditation. So he employed labourers to till the land for him. 1ow o!erseeing the labourers became a chore, so he married a wife who would share this task with him. ;efore long, of course, he was one of the wealthiest men in the !illage. Aears later his *uru happened to drop by and was surprised to see a palatial mansion where once a hut had stood. )e said to one of the ser!ants, &snt this where a disciple of mine used to li!e$ ;efore he got a reply, the disciple himself emerged. "hats the meaning of all this, my son$ asked the *uru. Aoure not going to belie!e this, sir, said the man, but there was no other way & could keep my loinclothG *************** @n a rocky seacoast where shipwrecks were freCuent there was once a ramshackle little life-sa!ing station. &t was no more than a hut and there was only one boat, but the few people who manned the station were a de!oted lot who kept constant watch o!er the sea and, with little regard for themsel!es and their safety, went fearlessly out in a storm if they had any e!idence that there had been a shipwreck somewhere. Many li!es were thus sa!ed and the station became famous. <s the fame of the station grew, so did the desire of people in the neighbourhood to become associated with its e:cellent work. They generously offered of their time and money so new members were enrolled, new boats bought and new crews trained. The hut too was replaced by a comfortable building which could adeCuately handle the needs of those who had been sa!ed from the sea and, of course, since shipwrecks do not occur e!ery day, it became a popular gathering place8a sort of local club. <s time passed the members became so engaged in sociali.ing that they had little interest in life-sa!ing,

though they duly sported the life-sa!ing motto on the badges they wore. <s a matter of fact, when some people were actually rescued from the sea, it was always such a nuisance because they were dirty and sick and soiled the carpeting and the furniture. Soon the social acti!ities of the club became so numerous and the life-sa!ing acti!ities so few that there was a show-down at a club meeting with some members insisting that they return to their original purpose and acti!ity. < !ote was taken and these troublemakers, who pro!ed to be a small minority, were in!ited to lea!e the club and start another. "hich is precisely what they did8a little further down the coast, with such selflessness and daring that, after a while, their heroism made them famous. "hereupon their membership was enlarged, their hut was reconstructed and their idealism smothered. &f you happen to !isit that area today you will find a number of e:clusi!e clubs dotting the shoreline. Dach one of them is ustifiably proud of its origin and its tradition. Shipwrecks still occur in those parts, but nobody seems to care much. *************** &n a desert country trees were scarce and fruit was hard to come by. &t was said that *od wanted to make sure there was enough for e!eryone, so )e appeared to a prophet and said, This is my commandment to the whole people for now and for future generations+ no one shall eat more than one fruit a day. Eecord this in the )oly ;ook. <nyone who transgresses this law will be considered to ha!e sinned against *od and against humanity. The law was faithfully obser!ed for centuries until scientists disco!ered a means for turning the desert into green land. The country became rich in grain and li!estock. <nd the trees bent down with the weight of unplucked fruit. ;ut the fruit law continued to be enforced by the ci!il and religious authorities of the land. <nyone who pointed to the sin against humanity in!ol!ed in allowing fruit to rot on the ground was dubbed a blasphemer and an enemy of morality. These people, who Cuestioned the wisdom of *ods )oly "ord, were being guided by the proud spirit of reason, it was said, and lacked the spirit of faith and submission whereby alone the Truth can be recei!ed. &n the churches sermons were freCuently deli!ered in which those who broke the law were shown to ha!e come lo a bad end. 1e!er once was mention made of the eCual number of those who came to a bad end e!en though they had faithfully kept the law or of the !ast number of those who prospered e!en though they broke it. 1othing could be done to change the law because the prophet who had claimed to ha!e recei!ed it from *od was long since dead. )e might ha!e had the courage and the sense to change the law as circumstances changed for he had taken *ods "ord, not as something to be re!ered, but as something to be used for the welfare of the people. <s a result, some people openly scoffed at the law and at *od and religion. @thers broke it secretly and always with a sense of wrongdoing. The !ast ma ority adhered rigorously to it and came to think of themsel!es as holy merely because they held on to a senseless and outdated custom they were too frightened to ettison. ***************

1mong the tru y re igious the Aa# is observed. 'ut it is neither !eared%... "hat do you do for a li!ing$ asked a lady of a young man at a cocktail party. & am a paratrooper. &t must be awful to be a parachute umper, said the lady. "ell, it does ha!e its scary moments. Tell me about your most terrible e:perience. "ell, said the paratrooper, & think it was the time when & came down on a lawn where there was a sign which read, FDD' @00 T)D *E<SS. *************** ..nor revered... < sergeant was asking a group of recruits why walnut was used for the butt of a rifle. ;ecause it is harder then other wood, said one man. "rong. said the sergeant. ;ecause it is more elastic. "rong again. ;ecause it has a better shine. Aou boys certainty ha!e a lot to learn. "alnut is used for the simple reason that it is laid down in the EegulationsG *************** ...it is neither abso uti7ed... < railway official reported a murder on a train in the following terms+ The assassin entered the coach from the platform, stabbed the !ictim sa!agely fi!e times, each time inflicting a mortal blow, and left the train by the opposite door, alighting upon the railway track8-thereby transgressing Eailway Eegulations. 1 nob eman #as $riti$i7ed !or burning do#n a $athedra . >e said he #as tru y sorry but had been in!ormed:!a se y% as it turned out :that the 1r$hbishop #as inside8 *************** &n a small town a man dialled ?2J for directory information. < womans !oice at the other end said. &m sorry( you will ha!e to dial ?2L for that. &t seemed to him. when he had dialled ?2L, that he was hearing the same !oice at the other end. So he said. <rent you the lady whom & spoke to a while ago$ & am. said the !oice. &m doing both obs today. *************** .nor magni!ied out o! a proportion... Mr. Smith had killed his wife and his defence was temporary insanity. )e was in the witness stand and his lawyer asked him to describe the crime in his own words.

Aour )onour, he said, & am a Cuiet man of regular habits who li!es at peace with all the world. Dach day & wake at se!en, ha!e breakfast at se!en-thirty, show up for work at nine, lea!e work at fi!e, come home at si:, find supper on the table, eat it, read the papers, watch tele!ision, then retire for the night. =ntil the day in Cuestion,. )ere his breathing accelerated and a look of fury came upon him. *o on, said the lawyer Cuietly. Tell this court what happened. @n the day in Cuestion. & woke up at se!en, as usual, had my breakfast at se!enthirty, got to work at nine, left at fi!e, got home at si: and & disco!ered to my dismay that supper wasnt on the table. There was no sign of my wife either. So & searched through the house and found her in bed with a strange man. So & shot her. Hescribe your emotions at the time you killed her, said the lawyer, an:ious to make his point. & was in an uncontrollable rage. & ust went out of my mind. Aour )onour, ladies and gentlemen of the ury, he shouted pounding the arm of his chair with his fist, "hen & get home at si: & absolutely demand that supper be ready on the tableG *************** ...nor e/p oited. Mullah 1asruddin found a diamond by the road-side but, according to the 9aw, finders became keepers only if they first announced their find in the centre of the marketplace on three separate occasions. 1ow 1asruddin was too religious-minded to disregard the 9aw and too greedy to run the risk of parting with his find. So on three consecuti!e nights when he was sure that e!eryone was fast asleep he went to the centre of the marketplace and there announced in a soft !oice, & ha!e found a diamond on the road that leads to the town. <nyone knowing who the owner is should contact me at once. 1o one was the wiser for the Mullahs words, of course, e:cept for one man who happened to be standing at his window on the third night and heard the Mullah mumble something. "hen he attempted to find out what it was, 1asruddin replied, & am in no way obliged to tell you. ;ut this much & shall say+ ;eing a religious man, & went out there at night to pronounce certain words in fulfilment of the 9aw. "o be proper y #i$ked% you do not have to break the Aa#. Just observe it to the etter. *************** <mong ,ews, the obser!ance of the Sabbath, the day of the 9ord, was originally a thing of oy but too many Eabbis kept issuing one in unction after another on how e:actly it was to be obser!ed, what sort of acti!ity was allowed, until some people fell they could hardly mo!e during the Sabbath for fear that some regulation or other might be transgressed.

The ;aal Shem, son of Dlie.er, ga!e much thought to this matter. @ne night he had a dream. <n angel took him up to hea!en and showed him two thrones placed far abo!e all others. 0or whom are these reser!ed$ he asked. 0or you, was the answer, if you make use of your intelligence( and for a man whose name and address is now being written down and gi!en to you. )e was then taken to the deepest spot in hell and shown two !acant seats. 0or whom are these prepared$ he asked. 0or you, the answer came, if you do not make use of your intelligence( and for the man whose name and address are being written down for you. &n his dream ;aal Shem !isited the man who was to be his companion in paradise. )e found him li!ing among *entiles, Cuite ignorant of ,ewish customs and, on the Sabbath, he would gi!e a banCuet at which there was a lot of merrymaking and to which all his *entile neighbours were in!ited. "hen ;aal Shem asked him why he held this banCuet, the man replied, & recall that in my childhood my parents taught me that the Sabbath was a day for rest and for re oicing( so on Saturdays my mother made the most succulent meals at which we sang and danced and made merry. & do the same today. ;aal Shem attempted to instruct the man in the ways of his religion for he had been born a ,ew but was e!idently Cuite ignorant of all the rabbinical prescriptions. ;ut he was struck dumb when he realised that the mans oy in the Sabbath would be marred if he was made aware of his short-comings. ;aal Shem, still in his dream, then went to the home of his companion in hell. )e found the man to be a strict obser!er of the 9aw, always apprehensi!e lest his conduct should not be correct. The poor man spent each Sabbath day in a scrupulous tension as if he were-sitting on hoi coals. "hen ;aal Shem attempted to upbraid him for his sla!ery to the 9aw, the power of speech was taken from him as he realised that the man would ne!er understand that he could do wrong by fulfilling religious in unctions. Thanks to this re!elation gi!en him in the form of a dream, the ;aal Shem To! e!ol!ed a new system of obser!ance whereby *od is worshipped in oy that comes from the heart. @hen peop e are 6oy!u they ore a #ays good; #hereas #hen they are good they are se dom 6oy!u . The priest announced that ,esus -hrist himself was coming to church the following Sunday. 'eople turned up in large numbers to see him. D!eryone e:pected him to preach, but he only smiled when introduced and said, )ello, D!eryone offered him hospitality for the night, especially the priest, but he refused politely. )e said he would spend the night in church. )ow fitting, e!eryone thought. )e slipped away early ne:t morning before the -hurch doors were opened. <nd, to their horror, The priest and people found their church had been !andalised. Scribbled e!erywhere on the walls was the single word ;D"<ED. 1o part of the church was spared+ the doors and windows, the pillars and the pulpit, the altar, e!en the bible that rested on the lectern. ;D"<ED. Scratched in large letters and in small, in pencil and pen

and paint of e!ery concei!able colour. "here!er the eye rested one could see the words, ;D"<ED, beware. ;eware, ;D"<ED, beware, beware... Shocking. &rritating. -onfusing. 0ascinating. Terrifying. "hat were they supposed to beware of$ &t did not say. &t ust said, ;D"<ED. The first impulse of the people was to wipe out e!ery trace of this defilement, this sacrilege. They were restrained from doing this only by the thought that it was ,esus himself who had done the deed. 1ow that mysterious word ;D"<ED began to sink into the minds of the people each time they came to church. They began to beware of the scriptures, so they were able to profit from the scriptures without falling into bigotry. They began to beware of sacraments, so they were sanctified without becoming superstitious. The priest began to beware of his power o!er the people, so he was able to help without controlling. <nd e!eryone began lo beware of religion which leads the unwary to self-righteousness. They began to beware of church law, so they became law-abiding, yet compassionate to the weak. They began to beware of prayer, so it no longer stopped them from becoming selfreliant. They e!en began to beware of their notions of *od so they were able to recogni.e him outside the narrow confines of their church. They ha!e now inscribed the shocking word o!er the entrance of their church and as you dri!e past at night you can see it bla.ing abo!e the church in multicoloured neon lights. *************** GRACE < priest was sitting at his desk by the window composing a sermon on 'ro!idence when he heard something that sounded like an e:plosion. Soon he saw people running to and fro in a panic and disco!ered that a dam had burst, the ri!er was in spate and the people were being e!acuated. The priest saw the water begin to rise in the street below. )e had some difficulty suppressing his own rising sense of panic but he, said to himself, )ere & am preparing a sermon about 'ro!idence and & am being gi!en an occasion to practise what & preach. & shall not flee with the rest. & shall stay right here and trust in the pro!idence of *od to sa!e me. ;y the time the water reached his window a boat full of people came by. ,ump in, 0ather, they shouted, <h no, my children, said 0ather confidently. & trust in the pro!idence of *od to sa!e me. 0ather did climb to the roof, howe!er, and when the water got up there another boatload of people went by, urging 0ather to oin them. <gain he refused. This time he climbed to the top of the belfry. "hen the water came up to his knees an officer in a motorboat was sent to rescue him. 1o thank you, officer, said 0ather, with a calm smile. & trust in *od, you see. )e will ne!er let me down. "hen 0ather drowned and went to hea!en the first thing he did was to complain to *od & trusted youG "hy did you do nothing to sa!e me$

"ell, said *od. & did send three boats, you know. *************** Two monks were on their tra!els. @ne of them practised the spirituality of acCuisition, the other belie!ed in renunciation. <ll day long they discussed their respecti!e spiritualities till, towards e!ening they came to the bank of a ri!er. 1ow the belie!er in renunciation had no money with him )e said, "e cannot pay the boatman to take us across, but why bother about the body$ "e shall spend the night here, chanting *ods praises and tomorrow we are sure to find some kind soul who will pay our passage. The other said, There is no !illage on this side of the ri!er, no hamlet, no hut, no shelter. "e shall be de!oured by wild beasts or bitten by snakes or killed by the cold. @n the other side of the ri!er we shall be able to spend the night in safety and comfort. & ha!e the money to pay the boatman. @nce they were safely on the other bank he remonstrated with his companion, Ho you see the !alue of keeping money$ & was able to sa!e your life and mine. "hat would ha!e happened to us if & had been a man of renunciation like you$ The other replied, &t was your renunciation that brought us across to safety, for you did part with your money to pay the boatman, didnt you$ Moreo!er, ha!ing no money in my pocket, your pocket became mine. & ha!e obser!ed that & ne!er suffer( & am always pro!ided for. *************** <t a party in ,apan a !isitor was introduced to a popular ,apanese drink. <fter his first drink he noticed the furniture in the room mo!ing around. This is a !ery powerful drink. he said to his host. 1ot particularly, the host replied. This happens to be an earthCuake. *************** <n elephant broke loose from the herd and charged across a little wooden structure that stretched across a ra!ine. The worn-out bridge shi!ered and groaned, barely able to support the elephants weight. @nce it had gone safely to the other side, a flea that had lodged itself in the elephants ear e:claimed in mighty satisfaction, ;oy, did we shake that bridgeG *************** <n old woman obser!ed how, with scientific precision, her rooster would begin to crow ust before the sun rose each day. She therefore came to the conclusion that the crowing of her rooster caused the sun to rise. So when her rooster suddenly died she hastened to replace it with another lest the sun fail to rise the following morning. @ne day she fell out with her neighbours and threatened to mo!e out of the !illage with her sister se!eral miles away.

"hen her rooster started to crow ne:t day and, a little later, the sun began to rise serenely abo!e the hori.on, she was confirmed in what she had known all along+ the sun was now rising here and her !illage was in darkness. "ell, they had asked for itG &t did cause her to wonder, though, that her former neighbours ne!er came to beg her to return to the !illage with her rooster. She ust put it down to their stubbornness and stupidity. *************** So this was your first flight. "ere you scared$ "ell, to tell you the truth, & didnt dare put my full weight down on the seat. *************** < disciple came riding on his camel to the tent of his Sufi Master. )e dismounted and walked right into the tent, bowed low and said, So great is my trust in *od that & ha!e left my camel outside untied, con!inced that *od protects the interests of those who lo!e him. *o tie your camel, you foolG said the Master. *od cannot be bothered doing for you what you are perfectly capable of doing for yourself. *************** *oldberg had the lo!eliest garden in town and each time the Eabbi passed by he would call out to *oldberg, Aour garden is a thing of beauty. The 9ord and you are partnersG Thank you. Eabbi, *oldberg would respond with a bow. This went on for days and weeks and months. <t least twice a day the Eabbi, on his way to and from the synagogue would call out, The 9ord and you are partnersG until *oldberg began to be annoyed at what the Eabbi e!idently meant as a compliment. So the ne:t time the Eabbi said, The 9ord and you are partners, *oldberg replied, That may be true. ;ut you should ha!e seen this garden when the 9ord had it all on his ownG *************** &n his 1arrati!e of the Saints, <ttar tells of the great Sufi )abib < ami who went to bathe in the ri!er one day lea!ing his coat lying unattended on the bank. 1ow )asan of ;asra happened to pass by, saw the coat and, thinking that it had been left there through someones carelessness, decided to stand guard o!er it till the owner showed up. "hen )abib came looking for his coat, )asan said, &n whose care did you lea!e this coat of yours when you went to bathe in the ri!er$ &t could ha!e been stolenG )abib replied, & left it in the care of )im who ga!e you the task of standing guard o!er itG *************** < man was lost in a desert. 9ater, when describing his ordeal to his friends, he told how, in sheer despair, he had knelt down and cried out to *od to help him. <nd did *od answer your prayer$ he was asked.

@h, noG ;efore )e could, an e:plorer appeared and showed me the way. *************** < group of e:pectant fathers sat ner!ously in the hall. < nurse beckoned to one of them and said, -ongratulations, you ha!e a sonG <nother man dropped his maga.ine, umped up and cried, )ey, whats the idea$ & got here two hours before he didG Some things% a as% resist organi7ation8 *************** The 'resident of the largest ;anking -orporation in the world was in hospital. @ne of the %ice-'residents came to !isit him with this message+ & bring you the good wishes of our ;oard of Hirectors, that you should be restored to health and li!e to be a hundred years. Thats an official resolution passed by a ma ority of 2L to J with 3 abstensions. 1re #e ever ike y to stop our e!!orts= to burn !ire% #et #ater and add $o our to the rose= *************** < family of refugees was !ery fa!ourably impressed with <merica8especially the si:-year-old daughter who rapidly adopted the !iew that e!erything <merican was not only the best but also perfect. @ne day a neighbour told her she was going lo ha!e a baby, so little Mary marched home and demanded to know why she couldnt ha!e a little baby too )er mother decided to introduce her to the facts of life right there and, among other things, e:plained that it took about nine months for a baby to arri!e. 1ine monthsG e:claimed Mary indignantly. ;ut mother, arent you forgetting that this is <merica$ *************** Mummy, & want a baby brother. ;ut you!e ust got one. & want another. "ell, you cant ha!e one so soon. &t takes time to produce a baby brother. "hy dont you do what Haddy does at the factory$ "hats that$ 'ut more men on the ob. *************** < woman dreamt she walked into a brand new shop in the marketplace and, to her surprise, found *od behind the counter. "hat do you sell here$ she asked D!erything your heart desires, said *od. )ardly daring to belie!e what she was hearing, the woman decided to ask for the best things a human being could wish for. & want peace of mind and lo!e and happiness and

wisdom and freedom from fear, she said. Then as an after thought, she added, 1ot ust for me. 0or e!eryone on earth. *od smiled. & think you!e got me wrong, my dear, )e said. "e dont sell fruits here. @nly seeds. *************** < de!out religious man fell on hard times. So he took to praying in the following fashion+ 9ord, remember all the years & ser!ed you as best & could, asking for nothing in return. 1ow that & am old and bankrupt & am going to ask you for a fa!our for the first time in my life and & am sure you will not say 1o+ allow me to win the lottery. Hays passed. Then weeks and months. ;ut nothing happened. 0inally, almost dri!en to despair, he cried out one night, "hy dont you gi!e me a break, *od$ )e suddenly heard the !oice of *od replying, *i!e me a break yourselfG "hy dont you buy a lottery ticket$ *************** < young composer once came to consult Mo.art on how to de!elop his talent. & would ad!ise you to start with simple things. Mo.art said. Songs, for e:ample. ;ut you were composing symphonies when you were a childG the man protested. True enough. ;ut then & didnt ha!e to go to anyone for ad!ice on how to de!elop my talent. *************** < man in his eighties was once asked the secret of his enormous stamina. "ell, he answered, & dont drink, & dont smoke. <nd & swim a mile a day, ;ut & had an uncle who did e:actly that, and he died at the age of si:ty. <h, the trouble with your uncle was he didnt do it long enough. @ne Sunday morning after church *od and St 'eter went to play golf. *od teed off. )e ga!e a mighty swipe and sliced the ball off into the rough beside the fairway. ,ust as the ball was about to hit the ground, a rabbit darted out of a bush, picked it up in his mouth and ran with it down the fairway. Suddenly an eagle swooped down, picked the rabbit up in its claws and flew it o!er the green. < man with a rifle took aim and shot the eagle in mid-flight. The eagle let go of the rabbit. The rabbit fell onto the green and the ball rolled out of its mouth into the hole. St 'eter turned to *od in annoyance and said, -ome on nowG Ho you want to play golf or do you want to fool around$ <nd bo# about you= Do you #ont to understand and ploy the game o! i!e or !oo around #ith mira$ es= *************** Some things are best e!t as they are( <n enthusiastic young man who had ust graduated as a plumber was taken to see 1iagara 0alls. )e studied it for a minute, then said. & think & can fi: this.

*************** THE SAINTS Some are born ho y. others a$hieve ho iness. others yet have ho iness thrust on them. <n oil well caught fire and the company called in the e:perts to put out the bla.e. ;ut so intense was the heat that the fire-fighters could not get within a thousand feet of the rig. The management, in desperation, called the local !olunteer 0ire Hepartment to help in any way they could. )alf an hour later a decrepit looking fire truck rolled down the road and came to an abrupt stop ust fifty feet away from the de!ouring flames. The men umped out of the truck, sprayed one another, then went on to put the fire out. The management, in gratitude, held a ceremony some days later at which the courage of the local fire-men was commended, their dedication to duty e:tolled 8 and an enormous cheCue was presented to the chief of the fire department. "hen asked by reporters what he planned to do with the cheCue, the chief replied. "ell, the first thing &m going to do is take that fire truck to a garage and ha!e the damned brakes repairedG Bor others% a as% ho iness is no more than a ritua . *************** 9ady 'umphamptons gentleman friend had come to tea so she ga!e her maid a large tip and said, )ere, lake this. "hen you hear me scream for help, you may lea!e for the day. *************** There once li!ed a man so godly that e!en the angels re oiced at the sight of him. ;ut, in spite of his great holiness, he had no notion that he was holy )e ust went about his humdrum tasks diffusing goodness the way flowers unselfconsciously diffuse their fragrance and street-lamps their glow )is holiness lay in this that he forgot each persons past and looked at them as they were now, and he looked beyond each persons appearance to the !ery centre of their being where they were innocent and blameless and too ignorant to know what they were doing. Thus he lo!ed and forga!e e!eryone he met8and he saw nothing e:traordinary in this for it was the result of his way of looking at people. @ne day an angel said to him. & ha!e been sent to you by *od. <sk for anything you wish and it will be gi!en to you. "ould you wish to ha!e the gift of healing$ 1o, said the man, &d rather *od did the healing himself. "ould you want to bring sinners back to the path of righteousness$ 1o, he said, it is not for me to touch human hearts. That is the work of angels. "ould you like to be such a model of !irtue that people will be drawn to imitate you$ 1o, said the saint, for that would make me the centre of attention.

"hat then do you wish for$ asked the angel. The grace of *od, was the mans reply )a!ing that. & ha!e all & desire. 1o, you must ask for some miracle. said the angel, or one will be forced on you "ell, then & shall ask for this+ let good be done through me without my being aware of it So it was decreed that the holy mans shadow would be endowed with healing properties whene!er it fell behind him. So e!erywhere his shadow fell8pro!ided he had his back to it8the sick were healed, the land became fertile, fountains sprang to life and colour returned to the faces of those who were weighed down by lifes sorrow. ;ut the saint knew nothing of this because the attention of people was so centred on the shadow that they forgot about the man and so his wish that good be done through him and he forgotten was abundantly fulfilled. *************** >o iness% ike greatness% is unse !9$ons$ious. 0or thirty-fi!e years 'aul -e.anne li!ed in obscurity producing masterpieces that he ga!e away to unsuspecting neighbours. So great was his lo!e for his work that he ne!er ga!e a thought to achie!ing recognition nor did he suspect that some day he would be looked upon as the father of modern painting. )e owes his fame to a 'aris dealer who chanced upon some of his paintings, put some of them together and presented the world of art with the first -e.anne e:hibition. The world was astonished to disco!er the presence of a master. The master was ust as astonished. )e arri!ed at the art gallery leaning on the arm of his son and could not contain his ama.ement when he saw his paintings on display. Turning to his son he said. 9ook, they ha!e framed themG *************** ;uddhas disciple Subhuti suddenly disco!ered the richness and fecundity of emptiness+ the realisation that e!erything is impermanent, unsatisfactory and empty of self. &n this mood of di!ine emptiness he sat in bliss under a tree when suddenly flowers began to fall all around him. <nd the gods whispered, "e are enraptured by your sublime teachings on emptiness. Subhuti replied, ;ut & ha!ent uttered a word about emptiness. True, the gods replied. Aou ha!e not spoken of emptiness, we ha!e not heard of emptiness. This is true emptiness. <nd the showers of blossoms continued to fall. I! I had spoken o! my emptiness or even been a#are o! it #ou d it be emptiness= -usi$ needs the ho o#ness o! the ! ute% etters% the b ankness o! the page% ight% the void $a ed a #indo#% ho iness% the absen$e o! the se !. *************** <n old rabbi was lying ill in bed and his disciples were holding a whispered con!ersation at his bedside. They were e:tolling his unparalleled !irtues. 1ot since the time of Solomon has there been one as wise as he, said one of them. <nd his faithG &t eCuals that of our father <brahamG said another Surely his patience

eCuals that of ,ob. said a third. @nly in Moses can we find someone who con!ersed as in intimately with *od said a fourth. The rabbi seemed restless. "hen the disciples had gone his wife said to him. Hid you hear them sing your praises$ & did. said the rabbi. Then why are you so fretful$ said his wife. My modesty, complained the rabbi. 1o one mentioned my modestyG >e #as indeed a saint #ho said. )I am on y !our bare #a s :#ith nothing inside. Co one $ou d be !u er *************** < ninety-two year old priest was !enerated by e!eryone in town. "hen he appeared on the streets people would bow low such was the mans reputation for holiness. )e was also a member of the Eotary -lub. D!ery time the -lub met he would be there, always on time and always seated at his fa!ourite spot in a corner of the room @ne day the priest disappeared. &t was as if he !anished into thin air because, search as they might, the townsfolk could find no trace of him. The following month, howe!er, when the Eotary -lub met, there he was as usual, sitting in his corner. ;ut, 0ather. e!eryone cried, #where ha!e you been$ &n prison. said 0ather calmly. &n prison$ 0or hea!ens sake you couldnt hurt a flyG "hat happened$ &ts a long story, said the priest, but. briefly, this is what happened+ & bought myself a train ticket to the city and was waiting on the platform for the train to arri!e when this stunningly beautiful girl appears on the arm of a policeman She looks me o!er, turns to the cop and say. )e did it. <nd to tell you the truth & was so flattered. & pleaded guilty *************** 0our monks decided to go into silence for a month They started out well enough but after the first day one monk said, & wonder if & locked the door of my cell at the monastery before we set out. <nother monk said, Aou foolG "e decided to keep silence for a month and now you ha!e gone and broken itG < third monk said. "hat about you$ Aou ha!e broken it tooG Said the fourth. Thank *od &m the only one who hasnt spoken yetG *************** < man walked into a doctors office and said, Hoctor, i ha!e this awful headache that ne!er lea!es me. -ould you gi!e me something for it$ & will. said the doctor, ;ut & want to check a few things out first. Tell me, do you drink a lot of liCuor$ 9iCuor$ said the man indignantly, & ne!er touch the filthy stuff. )ow about smoking$ & think smoking is disgusting. &!e ne!er in my life touched tobacco.

&m a bit embarrassed to ask this, but... you know the way some men are., do you do any running around at night$ @f course not. "hat do you take me for$ &m in bed e!ery night by ten oclock at the latest. Tell me. said the doctor, this pain in the head you speak of, is it a sharp, shooting kind of pain$ Aes, said the man #Thats it8a sharp, shooting kind of pain. Simple, my dear fellowG Aour trouble is you ha!e your halo on too tight. <ll we need to do for you. is loosen it a bit. "he troub e #ith your idea s is that% i! you ine up to a o! them. you be$ome impossib e to ive #ith. *************** <n influential ;ritish politician kept pestering Hisraeli for a baronetcy. The 'rime Minister could not see his way to obliging the man but he managed to refuse him without hurting his feelings. )e said, & am sorry & cannot gi!e you a baronetcy, but & can gi!e you something better+ you can tell your friends that & offered you the baronetcy and that you turned it down. *************** @ne day a bishop knelt before the altar and. in an outburst of religious fer!our, began to beat his breast and e:claim. &m a sinner, ha!e mercy on meG &m a sinner, ha!e mercy on meG The local priest, inspired by this e:ample of humility, fell on his knees beside the bishop and began to beat his breast and say. #&m a sinner, ha!e mercy on meG &m a sinner, ha!e mercy on meG The se:ton who happened to be in church at the time was so mo!ed he could not restrain himself. )e too fell on his knees, beat his breast, and cried out. &m a sinner, ha!e mercy on meG "hereupon the bishop nudged the priest and, pointing towards the se:ton, said with a smile, 9ook who thinks hes a sinnerG *************** There was once an ascetic who li!ed a celibate life and made it his lifes mission to fight against se: in himself and others. &n due course he died. <nd his disciple, who could not stand the shock, died a little after him. "hen the disciple reached the other world he couldnt belie!e what he saw+ there was his belo!ed Master with the most e:traordinarily beautiful woman seated on his lapG )is sense of shock faded when it occurred to him that his Master was being rewarded for his se:ual abstinence on earth. )e went up to him and said. ;elo!ed Master, now & know that *od is ust, for you are being rewarded in hea!en for your austerities on earth.

The Master seemed annoyed. &diotG he said, this isnt hea!en and &m not being rewarded8Shes being punished. @hen the shoe !its the !oot is !orgotten( @hen the be t !its the #aist is !orgotten; @hen a things are in harmony the ego is !orgotten. *! #hat use% then% are your austerities= *************** The local priest was often seen talking to a comely woman of bad repute8and in public places too to the great scandal of his congregation. )e was summoned by his bishop for a dressing down. "hen the bishop had done, the priest said. Aour D:cellency, & ha!e always held that it is better to talk to a pretty woman with ones thoughts set on *od than to pray to *od with ones thoughts fi:ed on a pretty woman. "hen the monk goes to the tavern the tavern be$omes his $e . @hen the drunk goes to a prison% the $e be$omes his tavern. *************** <n earthCuake hit the town and the Master was pleased to note how impressed his disciples were by his display of fearlessness. "hen asked some days later what it meant to conCuer fear, he reminded them of his own e:ample. Hid you obser!e how, while e!eryone was running to and fro in panic. & sat still, calmly sipping water$ Hid any of you see my hand shake while & held the glass$ 1o, said a disciple sauce. *************** 1isterus the *reat, one of the holy 0athers of the Dgyptian Hesert, was one day walking in the desert with a large number of disciples who re!ered him as a man of *od Suddenly a dragon appeared before them and they all ran away. Many years later, as 1isterus lay dying, one of the disciples said to him. 0ather, were you also frightened the day we saw the dragon$ 1o, said the dying man. Then why did you run away with the rest of us$ & thought it better to flee the dragon, so & would not ha!e to flee from the spirit of !anity later. *************** "hen the Dgyptian deserts were the abode of those holy men called the 0athers of the Hesert a woman suffering from cancer of the breast went in search of one of them, a certain <bba 9onginus for the man had the reputation of a saint and a healer. 1ow as the woman was walking along the sea, she came upon 9onginus himself collecting firewood, and said, )oly father, could you tell me where the ser!ant of *od <bba 9onginus li!es$ ;ut it wasnt water you were drinking, sir but soya bean

9onginus said, "hy are you looking for that old fraud$ Ho not go to see him for he will only do you harm. "hats your trouble$ She told him what it was. )e thereupon ga!e her his blessing and sent her on her way saying, *o now, and *od will surely make you whole again. 9onginus would ha!e been of no help to you at all. So the woman went away, confident in the faith that she had been healed8which she was, before the month was o!er8and she died many years later Cuite unaware that it was 9onginus who had healed her. *************** @nce someone approached a disciple of the Muslim mystic ;ahaudin 1aCshband and said, Tell me why your Master conceals his miracles. & ha!e personally collected data that shows beyond any doubt that he has been present in more than one place at a time( that he healed people by the power of his prayers but tells them it was the work of nature( that he helped people in their troubles and then attributes it to their good luck. "hy does he do this$ & know e:actly what you are talking about, said the disciple, for i ha!e obser!ed these things myself. <nd & think & can gi!e you the answer to your Cuestion. 0irst, the Master recoils from being the centre of attention. <nd secondly, he is con!inced that once people de!elop an interest in the miraculous, they ha!e no desire to learn anything of true spiritual !alue. *************** 9aila and Eama were lo!ers, but too poor to get married as yet. They li!ed in different !illages separated by a broad ri!er that was infested with crocodiles. @ne day 9aila heard that her Eama was dangerously ill with no one to nurse him. She rushed to the ri!er bank and pleaded with the boatman to take her across e!en though she did not ha!e the money to pay him. ;ut the wicked boatman refused unless she agreed to sleep with him that night. The poor woman begged and pleaded but to no a!ail so, in sheer desperation, she consented to the boatmans terms. "hen she finally got to Eama she found him near to death. ;ut she stayed with him for a month and nursed him back to health. @ne day Eama asked how she had managed to cross the ri!er. ;eing incapable of lying to her belo!ed, she told him the truth. "hen Eama heard her tale he fell into a rage for he !alued !irtue more than life itself. )e dro!e her out of the house and refused to look at her again. *************** *essen was a ;uddhist monk. )e was also an e:ceptionally talented artist. ;efore he started work on any painting, howe!er, he always demanded payment in ad!ance. <nd his fees were e:orbitant. So he came to be known as the *reedy Monk. < geisha once sent for him to ha!e a painting done. *essen said. )ow much will you pay me$ The girl happened to be entertaining a patron at that time. She said, <ny sum you ask for. ;ut the painting must be done right now before me.

*essen set to work at once and when the painting was completed he asked for the highest sum he had e!er charged. <s the geisha was gi!ing him his money, she said to her patron, This man is supposed to be a monk but all he thinks of is money. )is talent is e:ceptional but he has a filthy, money-lo!ing mind. )ow does one e:hibit the can!as of a filthy-minded man like that$ )is work is good enough for my underclothingG "ith that she flung a petticoat at him and asked him to paint a picture on it. *essen asked the usual Cuestion before he started the work+ )ow much will you gi!e me$ @h, any sum you ask for, said the girl. *essen named his price, painted the picture, shamelessly pocketed the money and walked away. Many years later Cuite by chance someone found out why *essen was so greedy for money. < de!astating famine often struck his home pro!ince. The rich would do nothing to help the poor. So *essen had secret barns built in the area and had them filled with grain for such emergencies. 1o one knew where the grain came from or who the benefactor of the pro!ince was <nother reason why *essen wanted money was the road leading lo his !illage from the city many miles away. &t was in such bad condition that o:-carts could not mo!e on it( this caused much suffering to the aged and the infirm when they needed to get to the city. So *essen had the road repaired. The final reason was a meditation temple which *essens teacher had always desired to build but could not, *essen built this temple as a token of gratitude to his re!ered teacher. <fter the *reedy Monk had built the road, the temple and the barns, he threw away his # $nt and brushes, retired to the mountains to gi!e himself to the contemplati!e life and ne!er painted another can!as again. 1 person<s $ondu$t genera y sho#s #hat the observer imagines it to sho#. *************** Two &rish na!!ies were working on the road outside a house of prostitution. 'resently the local 'rotestant minister came along, pulled down his hat and walked into the building. 'at said to Mike, Hid you see that$ "hat can you e:pect$ )es a 'rotestant, isnt he$ Soon after a rabbi arri!ed on the scene. )e pulled his collar up and walked in too. Said 'at, "hat a terrible e:ample for a religious leader to gi!e his peopleG 0inally, who should pass by but a -atholic priest. )e drew his cloak around his head and slipped into the building. Said 'at, 1ow isnt it a terrible thing, Mike, to think that one of the girls must ha!e taken ill$ *************** < man was fishing in the northern mountains. @ne day his guide took to telling him anecdotes about the bishop whose guide he had been the pre!ious summer, Aes. the guide was saying, hes a good man e:cept for his language. <re you saying that the bishop swears$ asked the man.

@h, but of course, sir, said the guide. @nce he caught a fine salmon. ,ust as he was about to land it, the fish slipped off the hook, so & say to the bishop, Thats damned bad luckG and the bishop, he looks me straight in the eye and he says. Aes, it is indeedG ;ut thats the only time & heard the bishop use such language. *************** Huring the Meigi era two well-known teachers li!ed in Tokyo( as unlike each other as it was possible to be. @ne, =nsho, a Shingon teacher, was a man who meticulously obser!ed e!ery one of ;uddhas precepts. )e rose well before dawn, retired when the night was young, ate nothing after the sun had passed its .enith and drank no into:icating drinks. The other. Tan.an was a philosophy professor at the &mperial Todai =ni!ersity. )e obser!ed no precepts for he ate when he felt like eating and slept e!en during the day time. @ne day =nsho !isited Tan.an and found him in his cups. This was Cuite scandalous since not e!en a drop is supposed to touch the tongue of a ;uddhist. )ello, my friend, Tan.an e:claimed. "ill you come in and ha!e a drink with me$ =nsho was outraged. ;ut he said in a controlled !oice, & ne!er drink. @ne who does not drink is not human, surely, said Tan.an. This time =nsho lost his temper. Ho you mean to say & am inhuman because & do not touch what the ;uddha e:plicitly forbade$ &f & am not human, what am &$ < ;uddha, said Tan.an happily. Tan.ans manner of dying was as ordinary as was his manner of li!ing. @n the last day of his life he wrote si:ty postcards, each of which read( & am departing from this world This is my last announcement. Tan.an. ,uly 36, 2543. )e asked a friend to mail these cards for him then Cuietly passed away. "he Su!i Junaid o! 'aghdad says% )"he good9natured sensua ist is better than the bad9 tempered saint.+ *************** < family of fi!e were en oying their day at the beach. The children were bathing in the ocean and making castles in the sand when in the distance a little old lady appeared. )er grey hair was blowing in the wind and her clothes were dirty and ragged. She was muttering something to herself as she picked up things from the beach and put them into a bag. The parents called the children to their side and told them to stay away from the old lady. <s she passed by, bending down e!ery now and then to pick things up she smiled at the family. ;ut her greeting wasnt returned. Many weeks later they learnt that the little old lady had made it her lifelong crusade to pick up bits of glass from the beach so children wouldnt cut their feet. ***************

"andering ascetics are common in &ndia and a peasant mother had forbidden her son to ha!e anything to do with them for while some of them were reputed to be holy, others were known to be e:ploiters in disguise. @ne day a mother looked out of her window and saw an ascetic surrounded by the !illage children. To her surprise, the man, Cuite unconscious of his dignity, was doing somersaults to entertain them. So impressed was she by the sight that she called out to her little boy and said, Son, this ones a holy man. Aou may go out to him. *************** There was once a priest so holy that he ne!er thought ill of anyone. @ne day he sat down at a restaurant for a cup of coffee which was all he could take, it being a day of fast and abstinence, when, to his surprise, he saw a young member of his congregation de!ouring a massi!e steak at the ne:t table. & trust & ha!ent shocked you. 0ather, said the young fellow with a smile. <hG & take it that you forgot that today is a day of fast and abstinence, said the priest. 1o, no. & remembered it distinctly. Then you must be sick. The doctor has forbidden you to fast. 1ot at all. &m in the pink of health. <t that, the priest raised his eyes to hea!en and said, "hat an e:ample this younger generation is to us. 9ordG Ho you see how this young man here would rather admit his sins than tell a lie$ *************** @f the great Men Master Ein.ai it was said that each night the last thing he did before he went to bed was let out a great big belly laugh that resounded through the corridors and was heard in e!ery building of the monastery grounds. <nd the first thing he did when he woke at dawn was burst into peals of laughter so loud they woke up e!ery monk no matter how deep his slumber. )is disciples asked him repeatedly to tell them why he laughed but he wouldnt. <nd when he died he carried the secret of his laughter with him to the gra!e. *************** The Master was in an e:pansi!e mood so his disciples sought to learn from him the stages he had passed through in his Cuest for the di!ine. *od first led me by the hand, he said, into the 9and of <ction and there & dwelt for se!eral years. Then )e returned and led me to the 9and of Sorrows( there & li!ed until my heart was purged of e!ery inordinate attachment. That is when & found myself in the 9and of 9o!e whose burning flames consumed whate!er was left in me of self. This brought me to the 9and of Silence where the mysteries of life and death were bared before my wondering eyes. "as that the final stage of your Cuest$ they asked. 1o. The Master said, @ne day *od said. Today & shall take you to the innermost sanctuary of the Temple, to the heart of *od himself. <nd & was led to the 9and of 9aughter.

*************** 'risoner at the bar, said the *rand &nCuisitor, you are charged with encouraging people to break the laws, traditions and customs of our holy religion. )ow do you plead$ *uilty, your )onour. <nd with freCuenting the company of heretics, prostitutes, public sinners, the e:tortionist ta:-collectors, the colonial conCuerors of our nation8in short, the e:communicated. )ow do you plead$ *uilty, your )onour. 0inally, you are charged with re!ising, correcting, calling into Cuestion the sacred tenets of our faith. )ow do you plead$ *uilty, your )onour. "hat is your name, prisoner$ ,esus -hrist, your )onour. Some peop e are 6ust as a armed to see their re igion pra$tised as they are to hear it doubted. THE SELF <n elderly gentleman ran a curio and antiCue shop in a large city. < tourist once stepped in and got to talking with the old man about the many things that were stacked in that shop. Said the tourist, "hat would you say is the strangest, the most mysterious thing you ha!e here$ The old man sur!eyed the hundreds of curios, antiCues, stuffed animals, shrunken heads, mounted fish and birds, archaeological finds, deer heads... then turned to the tourist and said, The strangest thing in this shop is unCuestionably myself. *************** < teacher was gi!ing a lecture on modern in!entions. -an any of you mention something of importance that did not e:ist fifty years ago$ she asked. @ne bright lad in the front row raised his hand eagerly and said. MeG *************** There is a re!ealing story of a monk li!ing in the Dgyptian desert who was so tormented by temptation that he could bear it no longer. So he decided to abandon his cell and go somewhere else. <s he was putting on his sandals to carry out his resol!e he saw another monk not far from where he stood who was also putting his sandals on. "ho are you$ he asked the stranger.

& am your self. was the reply. &f it is on my account that you are lea!ing this place, & would ha!e you know that no matter where you go & shall go with you. Said a despairing $ ient to the psy$hiatrist% )Co matter #here I go I have to take myse ! a ong:and that spoi s everything.+ 'oth #hat you run a#ay !rom : and #hat you yearn !or:is #ithin you. *************** < seeker, in search of a Master who would lead him to the path of holiness, came to an ashram presided o!er by a guru who, in addition to ha!ing a great reputation for holiness, was also a fraud. ;ut the seeker did not know this. ;efore & accept you as my disciple, said the guru, & must test your obedience. There is a ri!er flowing by the ashram that is infested with crocodiles. & want you to wade across the ri!er. So great was the faith of the young disciple that he did ust that+ he walked across the ri!er crying, <ll praise to the power of my guruG To the gurus astonishment the man walked to the other bank and back unharmed. This con!inced the guru that he was more of a saint than he himself had imagined, so he decided to gi!e all his disciples a demonstration of his power and thereby enhance his reputation for holiness. )e stepped into the ri!er crying, <ll praise to meG <ll praise to meG The crocodiles promptly sei.ed him and de!oured him. *************** The de!il, transformed into an angel of light, appeared to one of the holy 0athers of the Hesert and said, i am the <ngel *abriel and & ha!e been sent to thee by the <lmighty. The monk replied, Think again. Aou must ha!e been sent to someone else, & ha!e done nothing to deser!e the !isit of an angel. "ith that the de!il !anished and ne!er again dared come anywhere near the monk. *************** < tourist in ,apan disco!ered, when he !isited the golf links, that most of the good caddies were women. @ne day he arri!ed late at the course and had to take a young lad of ten as caddie. )e was a tiny fellow, knew ne:t to nothing about the course or the game and he spoke only three words of Dnglish, Thanks to those three words, howe!er, the tourist made him his caddie for the rest of his stay. <fter each shot, regardless of the result, the little fellow would stamp his footand shout with feeling, Hamned good shotG *************** < woman was deeply hurt by the beha!iour of her fifteen-year old son. Dach time they went out together he would walk on ahead of her. "as he ashamed of her$ @ne day she asked him. @h, Mom, no, was his embarrassed reply. &ts ust that you look so young that &m worried my friends will suspect & ha!e a new girl friend.

)er hurt !anished as if by magic. *************** <n elderly man stood at the door with a piece of cake in his hand. My wife is eightysi: today, he said, and she wants you to ha!e a piece of her birthday cake. The cake was recei!ed gratefully, particularly because the man had walked nearly half a mile to deli!er it. <n hour later he was back. &s anything the matter$ he was asked. "ell, he replied sheepishly. <gatha sent me back to say shes only eighty-fi!e. *************** < rooster was scratching around in the stall of a large farm horse. "hen the horse began to get restless and started mo!ing around, the rooster looked up at him and said, "ed, both of us, better be careful, brother, or we are likely to step on each others toes. *************** ?uess #hat the ant said to the e ephant #hen Coah #as ining up a the anima s to get them into the ark. >e said% )Stop pushing.<+ *************** < flea decided to mo!e with his family into the ear of an elephant. So he shouted, Mr. Dlephant, sir, my family and & plan to mo!e into your ear. & think it only fair to gi!e you a week to think the matter o!er and let me know if you ha!e any ob ection. The elephant, who was not e!en aware of the e:istence of the flea went his placid way so, after conscientiously waiting for a week, the flea assumed the elephants consent and mo!ed in. < month later Mrs. 0lea decided the elephants ear was not a healthy place to li!e in and urged her husband to month at least so as not to hurt the elephants feelings moth at least so as not to hurt the elephants feelings. 0inally, he put it as tactfully as he could+ Mr. Dlephant, sir we plan to mo!e to other Cuarters. This has nothing at all to do with you, of course, because your ear is spacious and warm. &t is ust that my wife would rather li!e ne:t door to her friends at the buffalos foot. &f you ha!e any ob ection to our mo!ing, do let me know in the course of the ne:t week. The elephant said nothing, so the flea changed residence with a clear conscience. "he universe is not a#are o! your e:istence. Re a/8 *************** The choir was going through its final rehearsal in the midst of pandemonium because the stage crew was busy putting the finishing touches to the stage. "hen one young fellow began hammering away so loudly that the din became intolerable, the conductor stopped the singing and looked at him pleadingly.

There was once a scientist who disco!ered the art of reproducing himself so perfectly that it was impossible to tell the reproduction from the original. @ne day he learnt that the <ngel of Heath was searching for him so he produced a do.en copies of himself. The <ngel was at a loss to know which of the thirteen specimens before him was the scientist, so he left them all alone and returned to hea!en. *o right ahead with the singing, conductor. the merry worker said. Theyre not disturbing me. *************** ;ut not for long, for, being an e:pert in human nature, the angel came up with a cle!er de!ice. )e said. Sir, you must be a genius to ha!e succeeded in making such perfect reproductions of yourself. )owe!er, & ha!e disco!ered a flaw in your work, ust one tiny little flaw. < woman stepped out of her shower stark naked and was about to reach for her towel when she saw, to her horror, that there was a man on a scaffolding washing her window and eyeing her appreciati!ely. So shocked was she by the une:pected apparition that she stood transfi:ed to the ground, gaping at the man. "hats the matter, lady$ the fellow asked cheerfully )a!e you ne!er seen a window cleaner before$ *************** There was once a scientist who disco!ered the art of reproducing himself so perfectly that it was impossible to tell the reproduction from the original. @ne day he learnt that the <ngel of Heath was searching for him so he produced a do.en copies of himself. The <ngel was at a loss to know which of the thirteen specimens before him was the scientist, so he left them all alone and returned to hea!en. ;ut not for long, for, being an e:pert in human nature, the angel came up with a cle!er de!ice. )e said. Sir, you must be a genius to ha!e succeeded in making such perfect reproductions of yourself. )owe!er, & ha!e disco!ered a flaw in your work, ust one tiny little flaw. The scientist immediately umped out and shouted. &mpossible. "here is the flaw$ Eight here, said the angel, as he picked up the scientist from among the reproductions and carried him off. *************** There was an old <rab udge who was known for his sagacity. @ne day a shopkeeper came to him to complain that goods from his shop were being stolen but he was unable to catch the thief. The udge commanded the door of the shop to be taken off its hinges, carried to the market-place and gi!en fifty lashes because it had failed to do its duty of keeping the thief out of the store. < large crowd collected to see this strange sentence being carried out. "hen the lashes had been administered, the udge stooped and asked the door who the thief was. Then he applied his ear to the door, the better to hear what it had to say.

"hen he stood up he announced. The door declares that the burglaries ha!e been committed by a man who has a cobweb on the top of his turban. &nstantly the hand of the one man in the crowd went up to his turban. )is house was searched and the stolen goods reco!ered. 1 it takes is a #ord o! ! attery or $riti$ism to un$over the ego. ****************** <n old woman died and was taken to the ,udgment Seat by the angels. "hile e:amining her records howe!er, the ,udge could not find a single act of charity performed by her e:cept for a carrot she had once gi!en to a star!ing beggar. Such, howe!er, is the power of a single deed of lo!e that it was decreed that she be taken up to hea!en on the strength of that carrot. The carrot was brought to court and gi!en to her. The moment she caught hold of it, it began to rise as if pulled by some in!isible string, lifting her up towards the sky. < beggar appeared. )e clutched on to the hem of her garment and was lifted along with her( a third person caught hold of the beggars foot and was lifted too. Soon there was a long line of persons being lifted up to hea!en by that carrot. <nd, strange as it may seem, the woman did not feel the weight of all those people who held on to her( in fact, since she was looking hea!enward, she did not see them. )igher and higher they rose until they were almost near the hea!enly gates. That is when the woman looked back to catch a last glimpse of the earth and saw this whole train of people behind her. She was indignantG She ga!e an imperious wa!e of her hand and shouted, @ffG @ff all of youG This carrot is mineG &n making her imperious gesture she let go of the carrot for a moment8and down she fell with the entire train. "here is on y one $ause !or every evi on earth( )"his be ongs to me<+ *************** < woodcar!er called -hing had ust finished work on a bell-frame. D!eryone who saw it mar!elled for it seemed to be the work of spirits. "hen the Huke of 9u saw it, he asked, "hat sort of genius is yours that you could make such a thing$ The woodcar!er replied. Sire. & am only a simple workman. & am no genius. ;ut there is one thing. "hen & am going to make a bell-frame & meditate for three days to calm my mind. "hen & ha!e meditated for three days & think no more about rewards or emoluments. "hen & ha!e meditated for fi!e days & no longer think of praise or blame, skillfulness or awkwardness. "hen & ha!e meditated for se!en days & suddenly forget my limbs, my body( no. & forget my !ery self. & lose consciousness of the court and my surroundings. @nly my skill remains. &n that state & walk into the forest and e:amine each tree until & find one in which & see the bell-frame in all its perfection. Then my hands go to the task. )a!ing set my self aside, nature meets nature in the work that is performed

through me. This no doubt is the reason why e!eryone says that the finished product is the work of spirits. *************** Said a #or d !amous vio inist about his su$$ess in p aying 'eethoven<s ,io in 3on$erto( )I have sp endid musi$% a sp endid vio in and a sp endid bo#. 1 I need to do is bring them together and get out o! the #ay.+ *************** < disciple came to Maruf Farkhi, the Muslim Master, and said, & ha!e been talking to people about you. The ,ews say you are one of their own. The -hristians consider you to be one of their saints. <nd the Muslims look upon you as a glory to &slam. Maruf replied, Thats what they say here in ;aghdad. "hen & li!ed in ,erusalem the ,ews dubbed me a -hristian( the -hristians, a Muslim( and the Muslims, a ,ew. Then what are we to think of you$ Think of me as a man who said this about himself+ Those who do not understand me re!ere me. Tho"e who re!ile me do not understand me either. I! you think you are #hat your !riends and enemies say you are% you obvious y do not kno# yourse !. *************** < woman in a coma was dying. She suddenly had a feeling that she was taken up to hea!en and stood before the ,udgement Seat. "ho are you$ a %oice said to her. &m the wife of the mayor. she replied. & did not ask you whose wife you are but who you are. &m the mother of four children. & did not ask whose mother you are, but who you are. &m a schoolteacher. & did not ask you what your profession is but who you are. <nd so it went. 1o matter what she replied, she did not seem to gi!e a satisfactory answer to the Cuestion, "ho are you$ &m a -hristian. & did not ask what your religion is but who you are. &m the one who went to church e!ery day and always helped the poor and needy. & did not ask you what you did but who you are. She e!idently failed the e:amination for she was sent back to earth. "hen she reco!ered from her illness she determined to find out who she was. <nd that made all the difference. Aour duty is to be. Cot to be somebody% not to be nobody :!or therein ies greed and ambition :not to be this or that

: and thus be$ome $onditioned8but 6ust to be. *************** < worried looking fellow walks into the psychiatrists office smoking pot and wearing lo!e-beads, bell-bottom trousers frayed at the ends and shoulder-length hair. The psychiatrist says, Aou claim you are not a hippie. Then how do you e:plain the clothes, the hair the pot$ Thats what &m here to find out, doctor. "o kno# things is to be earned. "o kno# others is to be #ise. "o kno# the se ! is to be en ightened. *************** < student walked up to the clerk at the language laboratory and said. May & ha!e a blank tape, please$ "hat language are you studying$ asked the clerk. 0rench. said the student. Sorry, we dont ha!e any blank tapes in 0rench. "ell, do you ha!e any blank tapes in Dnglish$ Aes, we do. *ood. &ll take one of those. It makes as mu$h sense to speak o! a b ank tape as being Bren$h or .ng ish as it does to speak o! a person as being Bren$h or .ng ish. Bren$h or .ng ish is your $onditioning% not you. 1 baby born o! 1meri$an parents and adopted by Russian parents( has no notion he has been adopted and gro#s up to be a great patriot and poet #ho gives e/pression to the $o e$tive un$ons$ious o! the Russian sou and the aspirations o! -other Russia( is he Russian= 1meri$an= Ceither. Bind out #ho&#hat you are. *************** "hat is that door doing under your arm$ &ts the front door of my house. & lost the key, and am taking it to ha!e a fresh key made. Make sure you dont lose the door now, or you wont be able to enter your house. "ell, & left a window open ust to be on the safe side. *************** "he Gen -aster% 'ankei% is said to have !ounded no s$hoo . >e e!t no #orks and no dis$ip es. >e #as ike a bird that eaves no tra$e o! its ! ight a$ross the sky. *! him it #as said% )@hen he entered the !orest not a b ade o! grass stirred; #hen he entered the #ater not a ripp e #as made.+

>e did not en$umber the earth. Co !eat o! daring% no $on5uest or a$$omp ishment or spiritua ity is to be $ompared #ith this( not to en$umber the earth < man came to ;uddha with an offering of flowers in his hands. ;uddha looked up at him and said, Hrop itG )e couldnt belie!e he was being asked to drop the flowers. ;ut then it occurred to him that he was probably being in!ited to drop the flowers he had in his left hand, since to offer something with ones left hand was considered inauspicious and impolite. So he dropped the flowers that his left hand held. Still ;uddha said. Hrop itG 'erple:ed, the man asked, "hat is it & am supposed to drop$ 1ot the flowers, son but the one who brought them. was ;uddhas reply. *************** There was a *uru who was looked upon by all as "isdom &ncarnate. Dach day he would discourse on !arious aspects of the spiritual life and it was ob!ious to all that ne!er had anyone surpassed this man for the !ariety, the depth and the enticing Cuality of his teaching. <gain and again his disciples would ask him about the source from which he drew this ine:haustible store of wisdom. )e told them it was all written down in a book that they would inherit after he was dead. The day after his death, the disciples found the book e:actly where he told them it would be. There was only one page in that book and only one sentence on that page. &t read+ =nderstand the difference between the container and the content and the fount of "isdom shall be open to you. *************** 1 ta e !rom the Dpanishads( The sage =ddalaka taught his son S!etaketu to see the @ne behind the appearance of the many. )e did this by means of se!eral parables like the one that follows+ @ne day he said to his son, 'ut this salt in water and come back to me in the morning. The boy did as he was told and the ne:t day his father said, 'lease bring me the salt you put in the water yesterday. & cannot find it, said the boy. &t has dissol!ed. Taste the water from this side of the dish, said =ddalaka. "hat taste does it ha!e$ Salt. Sip it in the middle. "hat is it like$ Salt. Sip it from the other side of the dish. "hat is it like$ The boy did so and obser!ed that after the water had e!aporated the salt reappeared. Then =ddalaka said. Aou cannot percei!e *od here, my son but in fact he is here.

"hose #ho seek !or en ightenment !ai to !ind it !or they 6ai to understand that the ob6e$t o! the sear$h is the seeker. ?od% ike beauty% is in the I o! the beho der. *************** LO%E My friend isnt back from the battlefield, sir. EeCuest permission to go out and get him. 'ermission refused, said the officer. & dont want you to risk your life for a man who is probably dead. The soldier went, all the same, and, an hour later came back mortally wounded, carrying the corpse of his friend. The officer was furious. & told you he was dead. 1ow &!e lost both of you. Tell me( was it worth going out there to bring in a corpse$ The dying man replied, @h, it was, sir. "hen & got to him he was still ali!e. <nd he said to me, #,ack, & was sure youd come. *************** < little girl was dying of a disease from which her eight-year-old brother had reco!ered some time before. The doctor said to the boy, @nly a transfusion of your blood will sa!e the life of your sister. <re you ready to gi!e her your blood$ The eyes of the boy widened in fear. )e hesitated for a while, then finally said, @F, doctor. &ll do it. <n hour after the transfusion was completed the boy asked hesitantly, Say, doctor, when do & die$ &t was only then that the doctor understood the momentary fear that had sei.ed the child+ he thought that in gi!ing his blood he was gi!ing his life for his sister. *************** < disciple !ery much wanted to renounce the world but he claimed that his family lo!ed him too much to let him go 9o!e$ said his guru. That isnt lo!e at all. 9isten... <nd he re!ealed a yogic secret to the disciple whereby he could simulate the state of death. The ne:t day the man was dead to all outward appearances and the house rang with the cries and wailing of his family. The guru then showed up and told the weeping family that he had the power to bring the man back to life if someone could be found to die in his place. <ny !olunteers$ To the corpses astonishment e!ery member of the family began to bring forth reasons why it was necessary to keep their own li!es. )is wife summed up the sentiments of all with the words, Theres really no need for anyone to take his place. "ell manage without him. ***************

Three grown-ups were ha!ing morning coffee in the kitchen while the children played on the floor. The con!ersation turned on what they would do if danger threatened and each of the grown-ups said that the first thing they would do was sa!e the children. Suddenly the safety !al!e of the pressure cooker burst, creating an e:plosion of steam in the room. "ithin seconds e!eryone was out of the kitchen8e:cept for the kids playing on the floor. *************** <t the funeral of a !ery wealthy man a stranger was seen mourning and weeping as loudly as the others. The officiating priest walked up to him and asked. <re you perhaps, a relati!e of the deceased$ 1o. Then why are you crying$ Thats why. 1 t grie!:no matter #hat the o$$asion :is !or the se !. *************** "hen a factory was burning down, the aged owner of the building was there weeping aloud at his loss. Had, what are you weeping for$ said his son, )a!e you forgotten that we sold the factory four days ago$ That instantly stopped the old mans tears. *************** < saleswoman sold a brightly coloured pair of trousers to a lad who seemed delighted with his purchase. The ne:t day he was back to say he wanted to return the trousers. )is reason, My girlfriend does not like them. < week later he was back again, all smiles, and wanting to buy the trousers. )as your girl changed her mind$ asked the saleswoman. 1ope, said the young fellow. &!e changed the girl. ****************** Mother+ "hat does your girlfriend like in you. She thinks &m handsome, talented, cle!er and a good dancer. <nd what do you like about her$ She thinks &m handsome, talented, cle!er and a good dancer. ****************** Two women friends met after many years. Tell me, said one, "hat happened to your son$

My son$ The poor, poor ladG sighed the other. "hat an unfortunate marriage he made8to a girl who wont do a stitch of work in the house. She wont cook, she wont sew, she wont wash or clean. <ll she does is sleep and loaf and read in bed. The poor boy e!en has to bring her breakfast in bed, would you belie!e it$ Thats awfulG <nd what about your daughter$ <h8now shes the lucky oneG She married an angel. )e wont let her do a thing in the house. )e has ser!ants to do the cooking and sewing and washing and cleaning. <nd each morning he brings her breakfast in bed, would you belie!e it$ <ll she does is sleep for as long as she wishes and spends the rest of the day rela:ing and reading in bed. ****************** Ho you think you will be able to gi!e my daughter what she wants$ a man asked a suitor. )I $ertain y do% sir. She says that a she #ants is me.+ Co one #ou d $a it ove i! #hat she #anted #as money. @hy it is ove i! #hat she #ants is you= *************** "hen Eobert, a fourteen-year-old lad fell in lo!e with his fourteen-year-old neighbour, he sold off e!erything he had and e!en took on odd obs to earn enough money to buy his sweetheart the e:pensi!e watch she wanted. )is parents were dismayed but decided it was best to say nothing. The day for the purchase arri!ed and Eobert returned from his shopping e:pedition without spending his money. This is the e:planation he ga!e+ & took her to the ewellers and she said she didnt want the watch after all. She fancied other things more, like a bracelet, a necklace, a gold ring. "hile she was mo!ing around the shop making up her mind & remembered what our teacher once told us, that before getting something we must ask oursel!es what we wanted it for. Thats when & reali.ed that & did not really want her after all, so I walked out of the shop and came away. *************** < little boy was heartbroken to find his pet turtle lying on its back, lifeless and still, beside the pond. )is father did his best to console him+ Hont cry son. "ell arrange a lo!ely funeral for Mr. Turtle. "ell make him a little coffin all lined in silk and get the undertaker to make a headstone for his gra!e, with Mr. Turtles name car!ed on it. Then well ha!e fresh flowers placed on the gra!e each day and make a little picket fence to go all around it. The little boy dried his eyes and became enthusiastic about the pro ect. "hen all was ready the cortege was formed8father, mother, maid and child chief mourner8and began to mo!e solemnly towards the pond to bring in the body. ;ut the body had !anished. Suddenly they spied Mr. Turtle emerging from the depths of the pond and swimming around merrily. The little boy stared at his friend in bitter disappointment then said. 9ets kill him.

It isn<t rea y you I $are about but the thri I get !rom oving you. *************** < nun in search of enlightenment made a wooden statue of ;uddha and co!ered it with a fine gold leaf. &t was !ery pretty and e!erywhere she went she carried it with her. Aears passed and, still carrying her statue, the nun settled down in a small temple where there were many statues of ;uddha, each with its own altar. She began to burn incense before her golden ;uddha each day but disco!ered, to her dismay, that some of the smoke wandered off to the neighbouring altars. So she made a paper funnel through which the smoke would ascend to her ;uddha. This blackened the nose of the golden statue and made it !ery ugly. *************** 0redrich "ilhelm who ruled 'russia in the early eighteenth century was known to be a short-tempered man. )e also detested ceremony. )e would walk the streets of ;erlin unaccompanied and if anyone happened to displease him8a not infreCuent occurrence8 he would not hesitate to use his walking stick on the hapless !ictim. 1ot surprisingly when people saw him at a distance they would Cuietly lea!e the !icinity. @nce 0redrich came pounding down a street when a ;erliner caught sight of him 8but too late, so his attempt to withdraw into a doorway was foiled. Aou thereG said 0redrich. "here are you going$ The man began to shake. &nto this house, your Ma esty. &s it your house$ 1o, your Ma esty. < friends house$ 1o, your Ma esty. "hy are you entering it$ The man now began to fear that he would be taken for a burglar. So he blurted out the truth. To a!oid your Ma esty. "hy would you wish to a!oid me$ ;ecause & am afraid of your Ma esty. <t this 0redrich "ilhelm became li!ed with rage. Sei.ing the poor man by the shoulders he shook him !iolently crying, )ow dare you fear meG & am your ruler. Aou are supposed to lo!e meG 9o!e me, wretchG 9o!e meG *************** < massi!ely built woman strode into the registrars office, slamming the door shut behind her. Hid you or did you not issue this licence for me to marry ,acob ,acobson$ she said, slamming the document on the table.

The registrar inspected the document closely through his thick glasses. Aes. maam, & belie!e & did. "hy$ ;ecause, said the woman, hes escaped. "hat are you going to do about it$ *************** <fter a heated argument with his wife a man said, "hy cant we li!e peacefully like our two dogs who ne!er fight$ 1o, they dont, his wife agreed. ;ut tie them together and see what happensG *************** <n <rabian princess had set her heart on marrying one of her sla!es. 1othing the king said or did succeeded in mo!ing the girl from her resol!e. <nd none of the kings ad!isers could tell him what to do. 0inally a wise old hakim appeared at court and, on hearing of the kings predicament, said. Aour Ma esty is ill ad!ised for if you forbid the girl to marry she will only resent you and be more attracted to the sla!e. Then tell me what to do, cried the king. The hakim suggested a plan of action. The king was sceptical but decided to gi!e it a try. )e sent for the young woman and said, & am going to put your lo!e for this man to the test+ you will be locked up in a tiny cell with your lo!er for thirty days and nights. &f at the end of that period you still wish to marry him. you shall ha!e my consent. The princess, beside herself with oy hugged her father and delightedly agreed to the test. <ll went well for a couple of days but boredom soon set in. "ithin a week she was pining for other company and e:asperated at her lo!ers e!ery word and action. <fter two weeks she was so sick of the man she took to screaming and pounding on the door of the cell. "hen she was finally let out she flung her arms around her father in gratitude for ha!ing sa!ed her from the man she had now come to abhor. Aiving apart makes iving together easier. @ithout distan$e one $annot re ate. *************** < teacher obser!ed that one of the little boys in her class was pensi!e and withdrawn. "hat are you worried about$ she asked. My parents, he replied. #Had works all day to keep me clothed and fed and sent to the best school in town. <nd hes working o!ertime to be able to send me to college. Mom spends all day cooking and cleaning and ironing and shopping so & ha!e nothing to worry about, "hy, then, are you worried$ &m afraid they might try to escape. *************** < Sunday school teacher told her children she was going to write their names on the blackboard. <fter each name she would write the one thing that particular child was the most grateful for.

@ne little boy was thinking hard when his name went on the board. "hen he was asked what should go after his name, he finally said, Mother. So thats what the teacher wrote. She was starting to write the ne:t name when the boy began to wa!e his hand frantically Aes$ said the teacher. 'lease cancel M@T)DE, said the little boy, and write H@*. @hy not= *************** < man offered to pay a sum of money to his twel!e-year-old daughter if she mowed the lawn. The girl went at the task with great .est and by e!ening the whole lawn had been beautifully mowed8well, e!erything e:cept a large uncut patch of grass in one corner. "hen the man said he couldnt pay the sum agreed upon because the whole lawn hadnt been mowed, the girl said she was ready to forego the money, but would not cut the grass in the patch. -urious to find out why, he checked the uncut patch. There, right in the centre of the patch, sat a large toad. The girl had been too tender-hearted to run o!er it with the lawnmower. @here there is ove% there is disorder. Per!e$t order #ou d make the #or d a graveyard. *************** < small crowd collected around the speaker at a street corner. -ome the re!olution, he was saying, e!eryone will dri!e around in big black limousines. -ome the re!olution, e!eryone will ha!e a telephone in the kitchen. -ome the re!olution e!eryone will possess a plot of land they can call their own. < !oice from the crowd protested, & dont want to own a big black limousine or a plot of land or a phone in the kitchen. -ome the re!olution, said the speaker, youll do as youre damned well told. I! you #ant a per!e$t #or d% get rid o! the peop e. *************** @ne day <braham in!ited a beggar to his tent for a meal. "hen grace was being said the man began to curse *od, declaring he could not bear to hear )is 1ame. Sei.ed with indignation, <braham dro!e the blasphemer away. "hen he was at his prayers that night, *od said to him, This man has cursed and re!iled me for fifty years and yet & ha!e gi!en him food to eat e!ery day. -ould you not put up with him for a single meal$ *************** <n old woman in the !illage was said to be recei!ing di!ine apparitions. The local priest demanded proof of their authenticity. "hen *od ne:t appears to you, he said,

ask )im to tell you my sins which are known to )im alone. That should be e!idence enough. The woman returned a month later and the priest asked if *od had appeared to her again. She said )e bad. Hid you put the Cuestion to him$ <nd what did )e say$ )e said. Tell your priest & ha!e forgotten his sins. Ks if possib e that a t o! the horrib e things you have done have been !orgotten by everyone 8 e/$ept yourse != *************** @nce some of the elders were in Scete and <bbot ,ohn the Hwarf was with them. "hile they were dining, a priest, a !ery old man, got up and attempted to ser!e them. ;ut no one would take so much as a cup of water from him e:cept ,ohn the Hwarf. The others were somewhat shocked about this and later said to him, )ow is it that you considered yourself worthy to accept the ser!ice of that holy man$ )e replied, "ell, when & offer people a drink of water &m happy if they take it. Hid you e:pect me to sadden the old man by depri!ing him of the oy of gi!ing me something$ *************** "hen an eight-year-old girl spent her pocket money to buy her mother a gift, her mother was grateful and happy for a mother and house-wife generally gets much work and little appreciation. The girl seemed to ha!e understood this for she said, &ts because you work so hard, mother, and no one appreciates it. The woman said, Aour father works hard too. Said the girl, Aes, but he doesnt make a fuss about it. *************** <n old pilgrim was making his way to the )imalayan Mountains in the bitter cold of winter when it began to ram. <n innkeeper said to him, )ow will you e!er get there in this kind of weather, my good man$ The old man answered cheerfully, My heart got there first, so its easy for the rest of me to follow. *************** ,eremiah was in lo!e with a !ery tall woman. Dach night he would walk her home from work and each night he longed to kiss her but was too shy to ask. @ne night he summoned up the courage. "ill you let me kiss you$ She was agreeable. ;ut ,eremiah was e:ceptionally small in stature, so they looked around for

something he could stand on. They found an abandoned smithy with an an!il in it that ga!e ,eremiah ust the height he needed. <fter they had walked on for half a mile or so, ,eremiah said. -ould & ha!e ust one more kiss, darling$ 1o, said the woman. &!e gi!en you one. Thats enough for tonight. ,eremiah said, Then why didnt you stop me from carrying this damned an!il$ Aove bears a burden and !ee s no burden8 *************** < -aliph of ;aghdad named <l-Mamun owned a beautiful <rabian horse. < tribesman called @mah was eager to buy the horse so he offered many camels in e:change for it, but <l-Mamun would not part with the animal. This so angered @mah that he decided to get the horse by trickery. Fnowing that <l-Mamun would ride his horse along a certain road, he lay down beside the road disguised as a beggar who was !ery ill. 1ow <l-Mamun was a kindhearted man so when he saw the beggar he felt sorry for him, dismounted and offered to carry him to a sarai. <lasG cried the beggar, & ha!e been without food for days and do not ha!e the energy to rise. So <l-Mamun tenderly lifted the man on to his horse meaning to mount after him. 1o sooner was the disguised beggar in the saddle than he galloped away with <l-Mamun gi!ing chase on foot, shouting to him to stop. <fter @mah had put a safe distance between his pursuer and himself he stopped and turned around. Aou ha!e stolen my horse,9shouted <l-Mamun. & ha!e one reCuest to make of you. "hat is it$ @mah shouted back. That you tell no one how you came into possession of the horse. "hy not$ ;ecause some day a man who is really ill may be lying by the roadside and, if your trick is known, people will pass him by and fail to help him. *************** &t was time for the monsoon rains to begin and a !ery old man was digging holes in his garden. "hat are you doing$ his neighbour asked. 'lanting mango trees, was the reply. Ho you e:pect to eat mangoes from those trees$ 1o, & wont li!e long enough for that. ;ut others will. &t occurred to me the other day that all my life & ha!e en oyed mangoes planted by other people. This is my way of showing them my gratitude. *************** Hiogenes was standing at a street corner one day laughing like a man out of his mind. "hat are you laughing about$ a passer-by asked.

Ho you see that stone in the middle of the street$ Since & got here this morning ten people ha!e stumbled on it and cursed it. ;ut not one of them took the trouble to remo!e it so others wouldnt stumble. *************** < guru asked his disciples how they could tell when the night had ended and the day begun. @ne said, "hen you see an animal in the distance and can tell whether it is a cow or a horse 1o.- said the guru. "hen you look at a tree in the distance and can tell if it is a neem tree or a mango tree. "rong again. said the guru. "ell then, what is it$ asked the disciples. "hen you look into the face of any man and recogni.e your brother in him( when you look into the face of any woman and recogni.e in her your sister. &f you cannot do this, no matter what time it is by the sun it is still night. *************** < friend came to the famous essayist -harles 9amb and said. & want to introduce you to Mr So-and-so. 1o, thank you. said 9amb. & dont like the man. ;ut you dont e!en know himG & know. That is why & dont like him. said 9amb )@hen it comes to peop e% I kno# #hat I ike.+ )4ou mean you ike #hat you kno#8+ *************** &t intrigued the congregation to see their rabbi disappear each week on the e!e of the Sabbath. They suspected he was secretly meeting the <lmighty, so they deputed one of their number to follow him. This is what the man saw+ the rabbi disguised himself in peasant clothes and ser!ed a paralysed *entile woman in her cottage, cleaning out the room and preparing a Sabbath meal for her. "hen the spy got back the congregation asked, "here did the rabbi go$ Hid he ascend to hea!en$ 1o. the man replied, he went e!en higher. *************** "hen Darl Mountbatten the last %iceroy of &ndia announced that his nephew, 'rince 'hilip, was engaged to 'rincess Dli.abeth, Mahatma *andhi said to him. & am delighted that your nephew is going to marry the future Cueen. & should like to gi!e them a wedding present, but what can & gi!e them$ & ha!e nothing.

Aou ha!e your spinning wheel, said the %iceroy. *et to work and spin them something. *andhi made them a tablecloth which Mountbatten sent to 'rincess Dli.abeth with this note+ This you lock up with the crown ewels ... for it was spun by a man who said+ The ;ritish must depart as friends. *************** There was an old Sufi who earned his li!ing by selling all sorts of odds and ends. &t seemed as if the man had no udgement because people would freCuently pay him in bad coins and he would accept them without a word of protest, or people would claim they had paid him when they hadnt and he accepted their word for it. "hen it was time for him to die he raised his eyes to hea!en and said. @h. <llahG & ha!e accepted many bad coins from people, but ne!er once did & udge them in my heart. & ust assumed that they were not aware of what they did. & am a bad coin too. 'lease do not udge me. <nd a %oice was heard that said, )ow is it possible to udge someone who has not udged others$ -any $an do oving deeds Rare is the person #ho $an think oving thoughts. *************** The family was gathered at dinner. The oldest boy announced he was going to marry the girl across the street. ;ut her family didnt lea!e her a penny, ob ected his father. <nd she hasnt sa!ed a cent, added mother. She doesnt know a thing about football. said unior. &!e ne!er seen a girl with such funny hair, said sister. <ll she does is read no!els, said uncle. <nd such poor taste in the choice of her clothes, said aunt. ;ut she isnt sparing of the powder and the paint, said grandma. True, said the boy. ;ut she has one supreme ad!antage o!er ail of us. "hats that$ e!eryone wanted to know. She has no familyG *************** <bbot <nastasius had a book of !ery fine parchment which was worth twenty pence. &t contained both the @ld and 1ew Testaments in full. @nce a certain monk came to !isit him and. seeing the book, made off with it. So that day when <nastasius went to his scripture reading he found that it had gone and knew at once that the monk had taken it. ;ut he did not send after him for fear that he might add the sin of per ury to that of theft. 1ow the monk went into the city to sell the book. )e wanted eighteen pence for it. The buyer said. *i!e me the book so that & may find out if it is worth that much money. "ith that, he took the book to the holy <nastasius and said, 0ather, take a look at this

and tell me if you think it is worth as much as eighteen pence. <nastasius said, Aes, it is a fine book. <nd at eighteen pence it is a bargain. So the buyer went back to the monk and said. )ere is your money. & showed the book to 0ather <nastasius and he said it was worth eighteen pence. The monk was stunned. "as that all he said$ Hid he say nothing else$ 1o, he did not say a word more than that. *************** "ell, & ha!e changed my mind and dont want to sell the book after all Then he went back to <nastasius and begged him with many tears to take the book back but <nastasius said gently, 1o. brother, keep it. &t is my present to you. ;ut the monk said, &f you do not take it back & shall ha!e no peace. <fter that the monk dwelt with <nastasius for the rest of his life. *************** ,itoku was a fine poet and he had made up his mind to study Men. So he got himself an appointment with the Master Dkkei in Fyoto. )e went to the Master full of e:pectations but as soon as he entered he recei!ed a whack. )e was shocked and humiliated. 1e!er before had anyone dared to strike him. ;ut since it was the strict Men rule ne!er to say or do anything unless in!ited by the Master, he silently walked out. )e went o!er to where Hokuon, the chief disciple, li!ed, told him the whole story and also his intention to challenge the Master to a duel. ;ut the Master was being kind to you. said Hokuon. Throw yourself into the practice of .a.en and you will see that for yourself. That is e:actly what ,itoku did. 0or three days and nights, such was the intensity of his efforts that he achie!ed an ecstatic enlightenment Cuite beyond anything he could ha!e imagined. This satori of his was appro!ed by Dkkei. @nce again ,itoku called on Hokuon thanked him for his ad!ice and said, &f it hadnt been for your good sense & would ne!er ha!e had this transforming e:perience. <nd as for the Master. & see now that his blow wasnt hard enoughG *************** Muso, one of the most illustrious Masters of his day was tra!elling in the company of a disciple. They came to a ri!er and boarded a ferry. ,ust as it was about to lea!e the shore a drunken samurai ran up and umped into the o!erloaded boat, nearly sinking it. Then he staggered around wildly, endangering the safety of the frail !essel, so the boatman begged him to stay Cuiet "ere stuffed in here like gooseberries in a bottle. said the samurai raucously Suddenly he saw Muso and shouted. )ereG 9ets throw the holy man o!erboardG 'lease be patient. said Muso "ell soon be across. "hat$ Me be patient$ he shouted wildly 9ookG if you dont ump off. Gll throw you o!erboard this minute. The Masters calm demeanour in the face of these threats so enraged the samurai that he walked up to Muso and struck him across the face, drawing blood. The disciple had

had enough )e was a powerful man and he said, <fter what he has done, he shall not li!e. "hy get so upset about a trifle$ said Muso with a smile. &t is on occasions like this that our training is put to the test. Aou must remember that patience is more than ust a word. Then he composed a little poem that ran+ The beater and the beaten+ mere actors in a play that is as short-li!ed as a dream. *************** Se!en cra.y men were in!ited to festi!ities in a neighbouring !illage. More than mildly into:icated, they were staggering home towards their own !illage at night when it began to rain So they settled down for the night under a large banyan tree. "hen they woke up the following morning they rent the air with mourning and wailing. "hats the matter$ asked a passer-by. 9ast night, we huddled together under this tree and fell asleep, sir. said one of the cra.y men @n walking up this morning we find our limbs all intertwined and we cannot distinguish the owners. Dasily sol!ed, said the tra!eller. *i!e me a pin. )e abbed the pin sharply into the first leg he saw. @uchG said one of the men. There. said the tra!eller to the man, that leg is yours. Then he pricked an arm. @uchG said another, identifying himself as the owner of the arm. <nd so on till the limbs were all disentangled and the cra.y men went merrily back to their !illage none the worse for their e:perience. @hen your heart responds instin$tive y to other peop e<s 6oys and sorro#s you #i kno# you have ost your se ! and attained the e/perien$e o! your )one9body9ness+ #ith the human ra$e :and hue has !ina y arrived. *************** TRUTH "ruth is not !ound in !ormu as. < man was drinking tea with a friend in a restaurant. )e looked long and hard at his cup, then said with a resigned sigh, <h. my friend, life is like a cup of lea. The other pondered this for a while, looked long and hard at his own cup, then asked, "hy$ "hy is life like a cup of tea$ The man said, )ow should & know$ <m & an intellectual$ *************** H. or in !igures.. 'risoner at the bar, said the udge, & find you guilty on twenty-three counts. & therefore sentence you to a total of one hundred and se!enty-fi!e years.

The prisoner was an old man. )e burst into tears. The udges facial e:pression softened. & did not mean to be harsh, he said. & know the sentence & ha!e imposed is a !ery se!ere one. Aou dont really ha!e to ser!e the whole of it. The prisoners eyes brightened with hope. Thats right, said the udge. ,ust do as much as you canG ****************** < bishop had decreed that woman housekeepers for priests should be at least fifty years of age. )e was startled, in the !isitation of his diocese, to disco!er a priest who thought he was obser!ing the law by keeping two housekeepers, each of whom was twenty-fi!e years of age. ****************** ..it is not !ound in names... "hen it was time to name their firstborn, a husband and wife began to Cuarrel. She wanted to name him after her father( he wanted to name him after his. They finally had recourse to the rabbi to settle their dispute. "hat was the name of your father$ the rabbi asked the husband. #<bi ah. #<nd what was your fathers name$ he asked his wife. #<bi ah. Then whats the problem$ said the confused rabbi. H.or in !igures.. 'risoner at the bar, said the udge, & find you guilty on twenty-three counts. & therefore sentence you to a total of one hundred and se!enty-fi!e years. The prisoner was an old man. )e burst into tears. The udges facial e:pression softened. & did not mean to be harsh, he said. & know the sentence & ha!e imposed is a !ery se!ere one. Aou dont really ha!e to ser!e the whole of it. The prisoners eyes brightened with hope. Thats right, said the udge. ,ust do as much as you canG ****************** < bishop had decreed that woman housekeepers for priests should be at least fifty years of age. )e was startled, in the !isitation of his diocese, to disco!er a priest who thought he was obser!ing the law by keeping two housekeepers, each of whom was twenty-fi!e years of age. ****************** ..it is not !ound in names... "hen it was time to name their firstborn, a husband and wife began to Cuarrel. She wanted to name him after her father( he wanted to name him after his. They finally had recourse to the rabbi to settle their dispute. "hat was the name of your father$ the rabbi asked the husband.

#<bi ah. #<nd what was your fathers name$ he asked his wife. #<bi ah. Then whats the problem$ said the confused rabbi. Aou see, rabbi, said the woman, my father was a scholar and his father was a horse-thief. )ow can & allow my son to be named after a man like that$ The rabbi ga!e this !ery serious thought for the problem was indeed a delicate one. )e did not want one party to feel it had won and the other that it had lost. So he finally said, This is what & suggest you do. -all the boy <bi ah. Then wait and see if he becomes a scholar or a horse-thief, and you will know after whom he was named. *************** H.or in symbo s &m told you sold your bicycle. & did. )ow much did you sell it for$ Thirty dollars. Thats a reasonable price. it is. ;ut if & had known that the man wasnt going to pay me & would ha!e charged him-twice as much. *************** ..in theories:. < manager, who had ust returned from a Moti!ation Seminar, called an employee into his office and said, )enceforth you are going to be allowed to plan and control your ob. That wilt raise producti!ity considerably. & am sure. "ill & be paid more, asked the worker. 1o. no. Money is not a moti!ator and you will get no satisfaction from a salary raise. "ell, if production does increase, will & be paid more$ 9ook. said the manager. Aou ob!iously do not understand the moti!ation theory. Take this book home and read it+ it e:plains what it is that really moti!ates you. <s the man was lea!ing, he stopped and said, &f & read this book will & be paid more$ *************** < couple did not know what to do about the ealousy of their three-year-old son towards the new baby. They were enlightened by a ;ook of -hild 'sychology @ne day when the little fellow was in a particularly bad mood the mother said, Take this teddy bear, son, and show me how you feel towards baby. <ccording to the ;ook he was supposed to punch and sCuee.e the teddy bear. ;ut the three-year-old grabbed the teddy bear by the leg and, with ob!ious delight, went o!er to the baby and hit her on the head with it.

*************** H.or in #ords... & long to learn spirituality. said a neighbour to Mulla 1asruddin. "ould you come o!er lo my house arid talk to me about it$ 1asruddin did not commit himself. )e saw that the man did indeed, ha!e a spark of intelligence abo!e the a!erage, but he also reali.ed that he was under the delusion that mysticism can be transmitted to another by word of mouth. Some days later the neighbour called from his roof. Mullah, & need your help to blow my fire. The embers are going out. "hy of course. said 1asruddin. My breath is at your disposal. -ome o!er to my house and you can ha!e as much of it as you can take away. *************** < conductor was rehearsing with his orchestra and said to the trumpet player, & think this part calls for a more "agnerian approach, if you get what & mean, something more asserti!e, so to speak, more accentuated, with more body, more depth, more... The trumpet player interrupted. Ho you want it louder, sir$ <ll that the poor conductor could say was. Aes, thats what & meanG *************** H. in s ogans... < religious group was in the habit of using, for its many conferences, a hotel whose motto was written in large words o!er the walls of the lobby+ T)DED <ED 1@ 'E@;9DMS. @19A @''@ET=1&T&DS. < man approached the hotel desk and said, D:cuse me. & ha!e a problem The desk clerk said, with a smile. "e ha!e no problems here sir. @nly opportunities. -all it what you want. said the man impatiently. Theres a woman in the room assigned to me *************** H.in abe s... <n Dnglishman migrated to the =nited States and became an <merican citi.en. "hen he went back to Dngland for a !acation one of his relati!es reprimanded him for changing his citi.enship. "hat ha!e you gained by becoming an <merican citi.en$ she asked him. "ell, for one thing. & win the <merican Ee!olution, was the answer. *************** H.in $onventions... "hen the Eussian-0innish boundary line was being redrawn a farmer was told that the border passed right through the middle of his land. )e therefore had the option of ha!ing his land taken into Eussia or 0inland. )e promised to gi!e the matter serious thought( and after some weeks announced that he wanted to li!e in 0inland. < host of incensed

Eussian officials descended on him to e:plain the ad!antages of belonging to Eussia, not 0inland. The man heard them out then said. & am in complete agreement with e!erything you say. &n fact, it has always been my desire to li!e in Mother Eussia. ;ut at my age & simply wont be able to sur!i!e another of those Eussian winters. *************** H..or distin$tions. < man was doing his 'h. H in philosophy. )is wife realised how seriously he was taking his studies only on the day she said to him, "hy is it you lo!e me so much$ Buick as a shot he replied, "hen you say #so much are you referring to intensity, depth, freCuency, Cuality or duration$ 'y disse$ting her peta s no one ever gathered in the beauty o! the rose. *************** Cor is it genera y !ound in statisti$s... 1asruddin was arrested and taken to court on the charge that he was stuffing horsemeat into the chicken cutlets he ser!ed at his restaurant. ;efore passing sentence the udge wanted to know in what proportion he was mi:ing horsemeat with chicken flesh. 1asruddin said, on oath. &t was fifty-fifty, your )onour. <fter the trial a friend asked what e:actly fifty-fifty meant. Said 1asruddin. @ne horse to one chicken. *************** < group of a hundred lumber acks worked in the forest for si: months and two women did their cooking and laundry for them. <t the end of that period two of the men married the two women. "hat the local newspaper said was that two per cent of the men married a hundred per cent of the women. *************** ...in ogi$... The huge man was preparing to lea!e the ta!ern at ten. #"hy so early$ asked the barman. ;ecause of the wife. So you too are scared of your wifeG <re you a man or a mouse$I @f one thing & am absolutely sure+ & am not a mouse. ;ecause my wife is afraid of mice. *************** < professor of philosophy in 'aris one day declared himself the greatest man in the world and proceeded to pro!e it to his students in the following fashion+ "hich is the greatest nation on earth$ 0rance, of course, they all declared. <nd which is the greatest city in 0rance$

#'aris, ob!iously. <nd is not the greatest and holiest place in all 'aris its uni!ersity$ <nd who can doubt that the greatest, the noblest department in any uni!ersity is its department of philosophy$ <nd, tell me, who is the head of the philosophy, department$ Aou. they said in chorus. *************** Hoctor( 'atient+ That pain in your leg is caused by old age. Hont take me for a foolG The other leg is ust as old.

*************** H.or in abstra$tions... < disciple said to the Men Master )ogen. "hen & was Studying with my pre!ious Master & got some insight into what Men is all about. So what is this insight you ha!e$ asked )ogen. "hen & asked the Master who ;uddha was /by which, of course. & meant Eeality7, he said. #'ing-ting comes for fire. That was a fine reply. said )ogen. ;ut & fear you may ha!e got it wrong. Tell me what meaning you ga!e to his words. "ell. said the disciple, 'ing-ting is the god of fire. 1ow to say that the god of fire comes for fire is as absurd as to ha!e me. whose true nature is really ;uddha, ask who the ;uddha is. )ow can one who is actually, e!en though unconsciously, the ;uddha, formulate a Cuestion regarding the ;uddha$ <h, ahG said )ogen. D:actly what & feared. Aoure completely off the mark. 1ow you ask me. %ery well. "ho is ;uddha$ 'ing-ting comes for fire. said )ogen. *************** The great *ensha once in!ited a court official to tea. <fter the customary greetings the official said, & do not wish to sCuander this opportunity of spending some time in the presence of so great a Master. Tell me, what does it mean when they say that in spite of our ha!ing it in our daily life we do not see it$ *ensha offered the man a piece of cake. Then he ser!ed him his tea. <fter eating and drinking, the official, thinking that the Master had not heard his first sentence, repeated the Cuestion. Aes, of course. said the Master. This is what it means+ that we do not see it e!en though we ha!e it in our daily life. "hose #ho kno#% do not say those #ho say do not kno#. "he #ise are there!ore si ent. "he $ ever speak :the stupid argue. ***************

"ruth has a #ay o! $hanging. < passenger was completely lost between the decks of a great <tlantic liner. )e finally ran into a steward and asked for help in finding his cabin. "hat was the number of your cabin, sir$ asked the steward. & couldnt tell you, but &d know it at once, because it had a lighthouse outside the porthole. *************** ,udge+ -on!ict+ ,udge+ -on!ict+ tomorrow. "hats your age. Twenty-two .sir. Thats what you!e been telling us for the last ten years. Thats right, sir. &m not the type that says one thing today and another

*************** @ld actress+ & really dont know my age. &N keeps changing from minute to minute. *************** It $an be re ative. <n <merican tourist was tra!elling abroad for the first time. @n arri!al at his first foreign airport he was faced with a choice between two passageways, one of which was marked -&T&MD1S and the other <9&D1S. )e promptly headed for the first one. "hen told later that he would ha!e to stand in the other line, he protested, ;ut &m no alien. &m an <mericanG *************** "hen the Dnglish playwright @scar "ilde arri!ed at his club late at night after witnessing the first presentation of a play that had been a complete failure, someone asked, )ow did your play go tonight, @scar$ @h, said "ilde, the play was a great success. The audience was a failure. *************** It is $on$rete... < monk once said to 0uketsu+ There is something & heard you say once that pu..led me, namely, that truth can be communicated without "#e &$n' and without keeping silent. "ould you e:plain this please$ 0uketsu replied+ "hen & was a lad in South -hina, ahG how the birds sang among the blossoms in the springtime$ I think. "here!ore I am un$ons$ious 1t the moment o! thought

I #e in the DCR.1A #or d *! abstra$tion or o! the past or o! the !uture. *************** ...yet immeasurab e. < frog had li!ed all his life in a well. @ne day he was surprised to see another frog there. "here ha!e you come from$ he asked. 0rom the sea. Thats where & li!e, said the other. "hats the sea like$ &s it big as my well$ The sea frog laughed, Theres no comparison. he said. The well frog pretended to be interested in what his !isitor had to say about the sea. ;ut he thought, @f all the liars & ha!e known in my lifetime, this one is undoubtedly the greatest8and the most shamelessG >o# does one speak o! the *$ean to a !rog in the #e ; or o! Rea ity to the ideo ogue= *************** "ruth is rea y something you do The disciples of ;aal Shem once said, Tell us, dear Eabbi, how we should ser!e *od. )e replied, )ow should & know$...then went on to tell them the following story+ < king had two friends who were found guilty of crime and sentenced to death. 1ow e!en though the king lo!ed them he dared not acCuit them outright for fear of gi!ing a bad e:ample to the people. So this is the !erdict he ga!e+ < rope was to be stretched across a deep chasm and each of the two men was to walk o!er it8to safety and freedom or. if he fell, to his death. The first of the two got across safely. The other shouted to the first across the chasm, Tell me, friend, how you managed it. The first shouted back, )ow should & know$ <ll & did was this+ "hen & found myself listing to one side. & leaned to the other. 4ou don<t earn to ride a bi$y$ e in a $ assroom. *************** 9ittle boy to the electrician+ "hat e:actly is electricity$ & really do not know, son. ;ut & can make it gi!e you light. *************** < man asked ;aya.id to take him on as a disciple.

&f what you seek is Truth. said ;aya.id. there, are reCuirements to be fulfilled and duties to be discharged. "hat are these$ Aou will ha!e to draw water and chop wood and do the housecleaning and cooking. & am in search of Truth, not employment, said the man, as he walked away. *************** Soon after the death of Eabbi Mokshe, Eabbi Mendel of Fotyk asked one of his disciples. "hat did your teacher gi!e the greatest importance to$ The disciple ga!e it a moments reflection, and then said, To whate!er he happened to be doing at the moment. *************** It is best e/pressed in si en$e... ;odhidharma is considered the first Men 'atriarch. )e was the man who took ;uddhism from &ndia to -hina in the si:th century. "hen he decided lo return home, he gathered his -hinese disciples around him so he could appoint someone to succeed him. )e put their powers of perception to the test by asking each of them this Cuestion+ "hat is truth$ Hofuku said+ Truth is what is beyond affirmation and negation. ;odhidharma said. Aou ha!e my skin. The nun So i said. &t is like <nands !ision of ;uddhaland8glimpsed in a flash, once and fore!er. ;odhidharma said. Aou ha!e my flesh. *************** Hoiku said, The four elements of wind, water, earth and fire are empty. Truth is nothing ;odhidharma replied, Aou ha!e my bones. 0inally the Master looked at Dka who bowed low smiled, and remained silent. ;odhidharma said. Aou ha!e my marrow. *************** The fifth Men 'atriarch. )ung- un chose )ui-neng from among fi!e hundred monks to be his successor. "hen asked why he replied, The other four hundred and ninety-nine showed a perfect grasp of ;uddhism. )ui-neng alone has no understanding of it whatsoe!er. )es the type of man that ordinary standards will not measure. So the mantle of authentic transmission has fallen on him. *************** ...and $a s !or that most !ormidab e a$$omp ishment o! the human spirit( an open mind... The story has it that when 1ew Me:ico became part of the =nited States and the first court session opened in the new state, the presiding udge was a hardened old former cowboy and &ndian fighter.

)e took his place on the bench and the case opened. < man was charged with horsestealing. The case for the prosecution was made( the plaintiff and his witnesses were duly heard. "hereupon the attorney for the defendant stood up and said. <nd now, your )onour, & should like to present my clients side of the case. Said the udge, Sit down. That wont be necessary, would only confuse the uryG I! you have one #at$h you kno# the time. I! you have t#o #at$hes you<re never sure. *************** ... and a !ear ess heart. There was a loud knocking in the seekers heart. "hos there$ asked the frightened seeker. &t is &, Truth, came the answer. Hont be ridiculous, said the seeker. Truth speaks in silence. That effecti!ely stopped the knocking8to the seekers great relief. "hat he did not know was that the knocking was produced by the fearful beating of his heart. The Truth that sets us !ree is a most a #ays the "ruth #e #ou d rather not hear. So #hen #e say something isn<t true #hat #e a too !re5uent y mean is( )I do not ike it.+ ****************** Its $ arity need not be dimmed by po iteness. . Ee ection slip of a -hinese publishing house that returns a manuscript to its author+ "e ha!e perused your manuscript with e:ceptional relish. "e fear, howe!er, that if we were to publish your outstanding work, it would be Cuite impossible for us to e!er again publish another work that would not come up to its standard. <nd we cannot imagine how any other work will be its eCual in the ne:t hundred years. So, to our deepest regret, we are compelled to return your incredible composition. <nd we beg you a thousand times o!er to pardon our shortsightedness and faintheartedness. ****************** H.and $u tura modes o! e/pression <n <merican girl taking dancing lessons in an old-time dancing school showed a constant tendency to lead her partner. This often brought protests like. )eyG "hos doing the leading8you or me$ @ne day her dancing partner happened to be a -hinese lad who, a few minutes after the dancing began, whispered politely. &s it not generally more ad!antageous if in the dancing process, the lady a!oids all preconcei!ed ideas about the direction in which the couple should mo!e$ ***************

Hit is sometimes $on$ea ed by truth!u ness... Two tra!elling salesmen meet on the platform of a railway station. )ello. )ello. Silence. "here are you off to$ -alcutta. Silence. 9istenG "hen you say youre going to -alcutta, you know that &ll think that you are actually going to ;ombay. ;ut & happen to know that you ore going to -alcutta. So why dont you tell the truth$ *************** ..and sometimes revea ed by ies... < drunk wandering through the city streets at night fell into a cesspool. <s he sank deeper into the liCuid mess, he began to shout. 0ire, fire, fireG Se!eral passers-by heard him and carne rushing to the rescue. <fter they had pulled him out they asked why he had shouted 0ireG when there had been no fire. )e ga!e them this classic response. "ould any of you ha!e come to the rescue if & had shouted. #ShitG$ *************** < soldier was rushed back home from the front because his father was dying. <n e:ception was made for him because he was all the family his father had. "hen he walked into the &ntensi!e -are "ard he suddenly saw that this semiconscious old man with tubes corning out of him wasnt his father. Someone had made a colossal mistake and rushed back the wrong man. )ow much longer does he ha!e to li!e$ he asked the doctor. 1ot more than a few hours. Aou!e only ust made it. The soldier thought of this dying mans son fighting *od knew where thousands of miles away )e thought of the old man holding on to life in the hope of being with his son one last time before he died. Then he made up his mind. )e leaned forward, held the old mans hand and said softly. Had. &m here. &m back. The dying man clutched at the hand offered to him( his unseeing eyes opened to scan the surroundings( a con tented smile spread o!er his face and remained there till he died about an hour later. *************** Hbut a #ays at one<s risk. < car accident occurred in a small town. < crowd surrounded the !ictim so a newspaper reporter couldnt manage to get close enough to see him. )e hit upon an idea. &m the father of the !ictimG he cried 'lease let me through. The crowd let him pass so he was able to get right up to the scene of the accident and disco!er, to his embarrassment, that the !ictim was a donkey. End