HOW TO

ATTRACT

THE PERFECT

MATE

"You come to love not by finding the

perfect person, but by seeing an
imperfect person perfectly."
Sam Keen

© Copyright 2008 7Ask7 – Coaching Services

 DISCLAIMER AND TERMS OF USE AGREEMENT

The author and publisher of this e-book and accompanying materials have used his/her best efforts in
preparing this e-book. The author makes no representation or warranties with respect to the accuracy,
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not a substitute or intended as a source of Therapeutic or Counselling advice.

The author and publisher of this e-book and accompanying materials accept no responsibility or liability
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This e-book is issued free of charge. The reader is free to distribute this e-book in its entirety to other
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© Copyright 2008 7Ask7 – Coaching Services

 Chapter 1 - The Research

“ Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
This is what the ancients were commended for. By faith we understand that
the universe was formed at God's command, so that what is seen was not
made out of what was visible.” Hebrews 11:1-3

In order to find YOUR perfect mate, It would best suit you to ask yourself a
series of questions, the answers you give will lead you to a more concrete
idea of what is best for you. Sometimes what we want and what me need
don’t match up.

What you believe will ultimately be your reality and life experience, once we
can identify our beliefs and how they shape our lives, we can understand
ourselves better.

Q1 Do you believe
believe you deserve the best?

Putting yourself down and having low self-esteem means you will only attract
a certain type of person, who will keep you down and needs to feed of your
insecurity to make themselves feel superior.

Q2 Do you love yourself, take care

care of your body think positively about
yourself?

People will treat you how allow them to.The more highly
you think of yourself the higher your expectations will be.

Q3 In finding a partner do you believe in fate, good luck,

luck, divine intervention
or a bigger plan?

List the 3 main relationships you have had in your life,

Think about how you met and where you met,
Think about the probabilities involved in you having met that person at that
time in your life who later became a boyfriend or girlfriend.
It happened before it can happen again.

© Copyright 2008 7Ask7 – Coaching Services

Q4 How do your beliefs affect your approach to finding a partner?

Do you trust in God, the universe, fate your angels or just yourself? Are you
relaxed about the situation or desperate? Trusting in something else other
than yourself will make the process more positive.

Q5 Are you enjoying the moment?

True happiness is a state of mind not determined by external circumstances.

The happier you are the more people will be attracted to you and want to
spend time with you.

Q6 Do you have an itch?

There is a term called “The seven year itch” every seven years on average we
go through major changes, which alter who our ideal partner would be.
Think about your past relationships, where would you be today if you had
stayed together. Would they be your ideal partner today.
You may be going through a transition regarding the type of person you
normally go for. If that is the case, being single at this moment will benefit
you, as you will be able to identify more clearly what you want.

Q7 What benefits are there of being single?

You always win the argument and as Woody Allen says “I get to have sex with
someone I love, myself”
Being single gives you the chance to find and redefine yourself, quantify your
values and determine what you do and don’t want from a relationship.

In order to receive something big we need to create space for it. Your next
partner should compliment the person that you are, and fill the void that is
there, without the void there is nothing for them to move into and fill, so live
in positive expectation.

No one is perfect and everyone is perfect, having a lasting fulfilling

relationship requires give and take, and a lot of love and a bit of lust.
The more you love someone for who they are not what they are and what
they have the more perfect they will be in your eyes.

© Copyright 2008 7Ask7 – Coaching Services

Finding an ideal mate starts with us knowing what we want and being the
best that we can be ourselves. When we have in our minds those two areas
and are positive we will be in a place where we can attract our future partner
and more importantly realize the opportunities when they come along.

Before you think about finding your soul mate find yourself. Finding yourself
means, getting to a place where you are happy and positive about life doing
the things you want to do, without thinking negatively about your lack of
romantic action. This will make you more attractive in everyway

Have an idea about the sort of person you would like to be with, don't sell
yourself short or be unrealistic
Ask yourself "What do I have to offer what are my qualities"?

It starts with you, don't have a mindset of finding a partner to complete your
life, a partner should enhance it, Don't put that added pressure onto a
prospective partner. You are already complete

Don't get desperate, be yourself be natural. The energy of desperation is

unappealing to most people; it also portrays a lack of confidence, balance,
immaturity and low values.

Have you ever been in a shop and the shop assistant continually harassed
you about buying a product, did that forthright mentality endear you to stay
longer in the shop and purchase a product, or did it have the opposite effect?

Be open with the right people (same and opposite sex) about your situation,
don't be aloof and put up a barrier that says "I don't want you to know " let
people know that you are looking for a relationship with the right person.
Most people are not mind-readers.

Practice smiling more especially at the opposite sex, make it a natural part of
your day, enjoy the process of finding that ideal person.

And when you find that person;

Don't try to change them, if you want to change someone change yourself, if
they are meant to be with you will both naturally change to compliment each
other better. Trust nature in this

© Copyright 2008 7Ask7 – Coaching Services

Allow them time and space to be themselves and make changes in their lives.
Being joined at the hip or keeping a diary of their hourly movements will
severely strain the relationship and drive them away long term.
Don't drop your friends, they will probably still be around when your
relationship ends. I am not being pessimistic I am being realistic, if it wasn’t
so most people would only have ever had one partner in their life.

Love them without condition not with conditions. Conditional love will only
last a short time.

© Copyright 2008 7Ask7 – Coaching Services

 Chapter 2 – The search

For those who are looking for a mate, there are certain questions you should
ask yourself and be able to answer and certain places you should think about
going in order to increase your chances of finding your ideal partner. This is
not an ideal science otherwise, it would not be a problem to so many people.

Below is a list of questions and also a list of suggestions although not

exhaustive which will hopefully stimulate you into some positive action.

Questions

What type of person are you looking for?

What type of person are you?

What kind of relationship do you want?

Do you want to be the hunter or the hunted?

What do you have to offer a prospective partner?

Places where you can meet new people In no particular order,

Bars, Clubs

Parties

Sporting events

Weddings, funerals, christenings

Places of worship

Holidays

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At work

Courses, classes, seminars

Dating agency, speed dating

Internet – Online forums, chat rooms discussion boards

Friend of a friend, blind date

Commuter buddies

Chance encounter

Look at the items in this list that you enjoy, or suggestions that appeal to
you and try and put them into practice in your life. If you feel more
comfortable take along a friend or family member to help you achieve some
of the above suggestions.

Enjoy your life as much as possible and you will be in the right place at the
right time, to meet your ideal partner. You will also become a more valuable
catch in the eyes of the opposite sex.

© Copyright 2008 7Ask7 – Coaching Services

 Chapter 3 – A New Model in Town

I have devised 2 models to help you work out what the opposite sex wants,
and more importantly what you want.. “The Same difference Model” and “The
“LIFE model”

These models will help you find the person you desire and help them to find
you “a perfect match”.

If you are constantly attracting the quote on quote “wrong type” or no type
i.e. no one, this is to do with your personal remit, some of which is conscious
most of which is sub-conscious.

Coaching with the right person will enable you to, align your remit so that
your sub-conscious gets in line with what you want to experience
consciously in your life. Our main source of power is not in our conscious
mind, which explains why we sometimes find it hard to get what we want.
Knowing what the source is and how to utilise it to our advantage is the key.
When you are clear on your goal your reward finds you.

Now how to set up the goals and my new models;

Model 1 - The same difference model

Purpose
Purpose – To begin to line up your whole self so that there is no conflict
between your thoughts (conscious and sub-
sub-conscious), words and actions

Men and women normally want the same end result, but generally want to
achieve it in a different way. By using my same difference model, you can set
the process in motion of attracting your ideal partner.

How to use the same difference model

Take a blank sheet of A4 paper and divide into 4 columns
Column 1 title - Remit
Column 2 title - Same
Column 3 title – Difference
Column 4 title - Why

© Copyright 2008 7Ask7 – Coaching Services

Before you start put a date at the top of the paper and when you have found
the person you have been looking for date it again and work out how long it
took. I would also be interested to hear about your successes and how long it
took you to manifest.

In Column 1 Remit – List a series of your values, lifestyle choices, and

characteristics (positive and negative) etc which are important to you and
reflect part of who you are. Your remit

In Column 2 Same – working from left to right taking each remit in turn place
a tick or cross in this section depending upon whether you would like to see
the same trait in your ideal partner SAME a tick or if you would prefer not to
DIFFERENCE a cross

Column 3 Difference - Tick or cross as applicable

Column 4 Why – Describe why you have made the decision i.e. placed a tick/
cross in the same /difference section.

Example – Ruth completes her table

Column 1 Remit – Health – “I don’t like the way I look and would like to loose
some weight”
Column 2 Same –Cross
Column 3 Difference – Tick
Column 4 Why – “I want someone who is in perfect health and looks good.”

Q – In regards to this topic what type of person do you think Ruth is more
likely to attract and why?

The power of the model is down to you and the questions you ask yourself,
thinking about the values and characteristics important to you such as
family, children, sex, sexuality, money, beliefs etc this will enhance this
results.

A model template has been inserted at the back of this book along with a list
of remit topics.

The beauty of the model can only be fully seen once it is completed, you will
have a series of remits alongside ticks and crosses (same/ difference) and
reasons why you made the choice, This is your blueprint, you can also add to
and take away items from the table as time goes by.

© Copyright 2008 7Ask7 – Coaching Services

From looking at your completed table write a statement below which
describes your ideal mate, it should be easy to do now, this will begin to
align your subconscious mind to your desires and speed up the process.
Remember; Out of sight out of mind so look at your statement of intent at
least once a day.

“The subconscious works out the logistics,

(The who, what, where, when and how)
the conscious is concerned with the statistics
(The end result)”
Roger Millar

NO STATISTICS = NO LOGISTICS = NO RESULTS

You can now begin to see why it is so powerful in the grand scheme of things
and one of the reasons why we are told not to worry. When we worry we are
upsetting our natural state/balance which is one of the main contributory
factors of stress.

The main benefit

Assuming that like attracts like, this model will also reveal something else
important to you, lets pick on Ruth and take another look at her example

Column 1 Remit – Health – I don’t like the way I look and would like to loose
some weight
Column 2 Same –Cross
Column 3 Difference – Tick
Column 4 Why – I want someone who is in perfect health and looks good.

Q – In regards to this topic what type of person do you think Ruth is more
likely to attract and why?
A – In regards to health Ruth will attract someone like herself (her mental self
not her physical self)

Q- Who or what is Ruth?

Ruth?
A – Ruth is her mind and her thoughts not her body, her body reflects her
mind
It is her subconscious mind that will determine who she will meet not what
weight she is or how attractive she looks.

© Copyright 2008 7Ask7 – Coaching Services

Her subconscious mind will also determine what steps if any she will take to
improve her health. If Ruth’s subconscious is in line with her ideal partner
she will attract him if it’s not she wont.

So by looking at the table you can identify things you want in life or in an
ideal partner that you do not currently possess,
In order to find that in a partner you will need to create it in your
subconscious.
This list will also help you to identify to you what area in your life you need
to change in order to speed up the process of attracting the perfect mate for
you.

Model 2 - The LIFE model

Purpose – Finding your ideal partner in the most effective way starts with
knowing what you want and then aligning your whole self (mind, body &
spirit) in order to attract the ideal partner. The same difference Model will
work on aligning your mind
This model will work on aligning your body and spirit and can be used for
most situations.

How the LIFE model works;

Leverage – Boosters & incentives to make rapid changes

Intuition – Inner knowing which helps us make choices which are best for us
Faith – Postive belief, conviction and assurance about an outcome
Exciting experiences – Physical five sense reality that also affects the mind
and spirit.

Choose one area of your life to focus on at a time

Leverage
Leverage the goal by thinking about and writing it down
What you would gain if you had it?
What would you lose if you didn’t have it?
What is holding you back and how can you change it?
Who and/or what can you use to help you achieve the goal?
What will you do differently than normal to achieve the goal?

© Copyright 2008 7Ask7 – Coaching Services

TIP:
Are you an away from or a towards person. When people face a major
obstacle they natural display a flight or fight tendency.
Q What type of person are you?
Q Are you more motivated by the pain or pleasure of the outcome?
When you have worked it out which camp you are in leverage yourself up in
this area

Intuition
Deep inside there is a part of us that knows the answers to life questions, tap
into that part of you and use it, listen to it and act on it

Intuition utilizes our EGS (Emotional Guidance System). This is linked to our
higher self’s, the part of us that knows all things, and has no limitations
The EGS uses frequency (Vibration) transfers the information to our mind and
body, the frequency band will differ depending upon the person. The e-
motion (energy in motion) creates a feeling normally in the solar plexus and
the mind where these vibrations are converted into patterns that the brain
can translate into thoughts, words and images.

Faith
Faith will result in positive action, looking at what you have written down
using Leverage ask yourself and your intuition what you can achieve.

• Imagine the end result and completed goal,

• Imagine and feel the energy this brings.
• Focus on what you can do not what you cant do,
• Act on your positive thoughts

Exciting experiences
Seeing the tangible results of each step of faith increases your confidence
and enjoyment of life. You have recent victories to look back over to help you
progress even further. Your limitations fall and expectations rise, you will see
your fears for what they are

FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL

© Copyright 2008 7Ask7 – Coaching Services

Enjoying your life and having great experiences changes you as a person
both physically and mentally, you give out a positive vibe because you are
happy and people will be drawn to you. In this state you can make the best
choices for you, without any limiting beliefs holding you back, you will attract
someone like yourself which will be a good thing in your state. And when you
do you will have the confidence to act upon it.

Q How to approach someone and strike up a conversation?

Don’t take it to seriously it isn’t the be all and end all,

Think about the worst that could happen and also the best.
Approach people you don’t find attractive to build your confidence
Approach people of the same sex as well to get into the swing of networking.
Be yourself, you don’t have to be perfect.

Q How do I attract the opposite sex?

in no particular order;

Men to attract women

1) Take an interest in her

(Have something else to ask her once you worked out her vital stats and her
relationship status)

2) Have an opinion
Which extends past who will win the FA cup and the price of beer)

3) Have interests
(which are varied and can be discussed among the opposite sex)

4) A good sense of humour

5) Take care of your body

(Look good feel good and you will be seen as prime husband material (don’t worry
husband is a figure of speech)

6) Compliment a women – in moderation

(To much sugar will not benefit you and she will begin to think you are being
insincere)

© Copyright 2008 7Ask7 – Coaching Services

7) Take the lead
(Don’t leave all the decisions to her)

8) Be open about your life

(Have a plan it shows ambition and responsibility an added advantage for women
who are looking to settle down)

9) Have money
(The more the better)

“ I chased a woman for almost two years

only to discover her tastes were exactly
like mine - we were both crazy about girls.”
Groucho Marx

Women to attract Men

1) Breathe
(To attract desperate men is all you need to do)

2) Smile often
(If you like someone look into his eyes for at least 5sec should give him the
message)

3) Be feminine or appear so. Take care of your appearance

4) It is ok to approach someone
(If your intuition tells you its ok, see what men have to go through)

5) Give compliments
(It is a free and indicates to the man that you like him, it is also easier for both
parties to move on without embarrassment if he does not feel the same way.)

6) Show of your assets

(With the type of person you are looking for in mind. This will enable you to send out
the right message to the right men for you)

© Copyright 2008 7Ask7 – Coaching Services

7) Be respectful
(If you turn down a dance in a club with a diva strop remember the man of your
dreams may have been watching you and your antics may have put him of
approaching you.)

8) If you are interested show it

(A lot of men are not able to pick up the subtle signs and signals that women give of)

9) Have a personality looks will only get you so far

10) Don’t take yourself to seriously

11) Don’t think to far ahead

(Men get scared if after the 2nd date your talking about moving in marriage and
kids, take one step at a time)

For Men and women

Tip:
Talk about your values and your ideal partner, scenarios (if you are interested
in them. If the feeling is mutual they will try to implement some of what you
have said. This is a good way to see if they like you.

Go with the flow – Flows make things easier, identify how you would like to
be and come across and look for opportunities to be this way, with everyone
around without discrimination. This will get peoples attention in the right
way

"Love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give

oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce
love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and
whoever is of little faith is also of little love."
Erich Fromm

REMEMBER YOUR STATISTICS REVEAL YOUR LOGISTICS

What do your statistics say about your logistics?

In closing a poem, which sums it up apply it and you will see the changes in
your life and in the type of people you attract.

© Copyright 2008 7Ask7 – Coaching Services

 Using the Law Of Attraction to change your life

Be the change you want to see

Said by Ghandi but what does it mean

We have the power to change our situation

Starting with ourselves we affect the nation

We have the ability to create our lives

So don’t worry about unemployment and interest rates rise

This kind of thinking makes it worse

We get what we think about and that empties the purse

Unless your thoughts are positive and clear

Full of good intention, and love without fear

Be grateful for what you have and write a list

You may be pleasantly surprised, but you will get the gist

Thanking the universe will give you more

Doing the opposite closes the door

This will enable you to have your wish

As easily as choosing a restaurant dish

Ask away to your hearts content

Be careful what you wish for and check your intent

Learn and apply the principles each day

Because the “Law of Attraction” is here to stay.

© Copyright 2008 7Ask7 – Coaching Services

 THE SAME DIFFERENCE MODEL

Date created

Date manifested

Remit Same Difference Why?

© Copyright 2008 7Ask7 – Coaching Services

Statement of Intent

Your Personal Cosmic Order

Topics/ Remit

In no particular order for a reason which I will give below;

Looks
Personality
Nationality
Children/ adoption/ None
Marriage
Own home
Ideal place to live
Education background
Family
Beliefs
Religion
Values
Interests
Hobbies
Goals, aspirations

© Copyright 2008 7Ask7 – Coaching Services

To find out more about the Coaching service I offer, and an informal chat with no
obligations, contact me using any of the details below.

FREE 15min taster sessions are also available

I am also open to discussing any new business ideas relating to joint ventures,
partnerships, networking etc.

Roger Millar
Life, Success, Spiritual Coaching
7Ask7
P.O Box 833
Harrow
HA3 3FX

Tel: 020 8357 9294

Mob: 07946 253446
Email: ultimate2ask@hotmail.co.uk
Web: http://www.7ask7.co.uk/

© Copyright 2008 7Ask7 – Coaching Services