YOU WILL PAY

She Left Her Abusive husband, He Took Revenge By Eve Rabi ~~~ Smashwords Edition Copyright 2013 Eve Rabi. All rights reserved. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media used in this book are fictitious and are the product of the author's imagination. The author acknowledges the trademark status and trademark owners referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication use of this trademark is not authorized, associated with or sponsored b the trademark owners. Smashwords Edition !i"ense #otes This ebook is licensed for our personal en!o ment onl . This ebook ma not be re"sold or given awa to other people. #f ou would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional cop for each recipient. #f ou$re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for our use onl , then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase our own cop . Thank ou for respecting the hard work of this author.

$able o% Contents
%rologue &hapter 'ne &hapter Two &hapter Three &hapter (our &hapter (ive &hapter Si) &hapter Seven &hapter Eight &hapter Nine &hapter Ten &hapter Eleven &hapter Twelve &hapter Thirteen &hapter (ourteen &hapter (ifteen &hapter Si)teen &hapter Seventeen &hapter Eighteen &hapter Nineteen &hapter Twent &hapter Twent "'ne &hapter Twent "Two *here to find Eve +abi online ,ooks b Eve +abi

&R'!'()E
S-.NE- /0ST+/1#/ 2342 'perator5 6%olice 7elpline, what is our emergenc 89 &aller5 6Eh, a woman, like, she$s screaming her head off. &an ou send the police89 'perator5 6*hat seems to be the problem89 &aller5 6She sa s :she sa s that someone stole her car and stuff ...9 'perator5 6State and town please89 &aller5 6Eh, S dne :eh, St #ves:9 'perator5 6-eah, where about in St #ves89 &aller5 6*arrimoo /venue, outside the eh, shops and stuff.9 'perator5 6*ould that be :corner .alton road and *arrimoo89 &aller5 6Eh, let me see: eah, that$s it.9 'perator5 6#s an bod hurt89 &aller5 6No. ;ust the bab .9 'perator5 6,ab 8 .id ou sa a bab was hurt89 &aller5 6No, no, she was in the car. The bab . Sorr , #$m !ust fifteen so :9 'perator5 6She was in the :are ou sa ing that the car was stolen with a bab in it89 &aller5 6-eah. &an ou hear her8 The mother8 She$s screaming her head off.9 'perator5 6-es, # can. *hat$s she sa ing89 &aller5 6She sa ing :hold down :eh, she sa s she knows that it$s her e), like, he$s behind it and she$s screaming and running up and down the street. She$s going mental.9 'perator5 6' :ka . # need ou sta on the line. *hat$s our name89 &aller5 6&arl . ,ut m cell batter is d in:9 'perator5 67ello8 7ello8 7ello, can ou hear me8 7ello8<9

Chapter one
S dne , /ustralia 2342 The first time Tom hit me, # was eight months pregnant. Slapped me across the face. So hard, # saw tin white stars even though # was indoors. # was twent "two, he was thirt "five. # was eight months pregnant and waddling like a duck, he was ninet "one kilos and took part in triathlons, ran ten kilometers almost ever da , had wheat"grass and =uinoa for breakfast, a green salad with no dressing for lunch, and lean meat and three veg for dinner. Throughout m two ear of marriage #$d seen bursts of his rage towards me, towards others and his road"rage, that was the worst > it terrified me. Especiall since he liked to take on trucks. 7uge trucks. .eep down, # guess # did fear being hit b him one da , but # didn$t e)pect it that da > the da of m second wedding anniversar . # was so stunned b the slap that # didn$t move awa or tr to defend m self. # !ust stood and gaped at him, one hand on m cheek, one hand on m swollen bell . 6# take care of ever thing<9 he hissed. 6/ll ou had to do was to chill the ?ristal and ou forget to do that. / small thing like that. &hill :the :?ristal > how hard is that, huh89 To celebrate our wedding anniversar , Tom had invited eight couples to a four course, sit" down dinner at our house, located in the upscale suburbs of St #ves, in S dne . 7e had hired caterers, wait"staff and a barman. 1ike all of Tom$s parties, it promised to be interesting, e)cessive and show . #t was true, all # had to do was chill the ?ristal, as he took care of ever thing, without consulting me once, or asking what # would like to serve our guests. # didn$t mind though, as Tom was e)tremel capable, highl efficient and he had flair. # didn$t, so if # did make a suggestion of !ust about an thing, he$d usuall scoff at it and shred it to bits, making me feel the hillbill that # was. So over time, # stopped suggesting or contributing and left ever thing to Tom. *ith pregnanc hormones, m brain sometimes became a pile of mush and # tended to forget a lot of things. # would walk into a room and forget wh # was there. #t anno ed the hell out of Tom as he didn$t suffer fools gladl , and !ust about ever thing # did was foolish to him. #rritated him. 6See what ou do to me<9 he snarled, his nostrils flaring, his lips a thin line. 6-ou make me like this.9 /fter throwing me a look of disgust, he ad!usted his tie, straightened his @9A frame and walked towards the door of our bedroom. 6%ut on a darker shade of lipstick, wear the neck chain # bought ou for our anniversar last ear and be downstairs in five<9 he flung over his shoulder as he left our room. *ith m hand on m cheek, # sat on the bed, shrouded in disappointment. 7ow could he hit me, # asked m self8 7ow could he hit a pregnant woman8 His pregnant wife8 *ho does that8 There was no wa # was going to go his part after he !ust hit me. # would leave =uietl through the back door before our guests arrived. # wouldn$t even tell him that # was leaving. (uck him and his part . The doorbell went. Too late, our guests had arrived. # heard them gush about how good the place looked and then ask for me. 6She$ll be down in a sec,9 # heard Tom sa . # didn$t know what to do. 7ow could # possibl not turn up when guests had arrived8 /fter a lot of thought, # decided that # would go to the part , but # would leave immediatel after it. # would

have it out with him and call the cops if # needed to. # ma have been twent "two ears"old, but # wasn$t stupid enough to let him hit me. # scrambled up from the bed and walked over to a mirror where # e ed m face, red from his slap. # picked up some concealer and dotted it over the redness. .idn$t work. 7is imprint on m cheek showed through the concealer. # picked up some green concealer > that worked > m redness disappeared. That was the first time # learned that green concealer covers redness better than ellow or beige concealer. 'ver the ears # used a lot of green concealer. 1uckil , m hair was in a bob, deep mahogan and fell in a sharp point two centimeters below m ears and covered most of m face. B/s instructed b Tom, who wanted me to wear m hair exactly that wa .C # decided that if for an reason, someone en=uired about the marks on m face, sa the concealer faded or something, # would simpl sa that # had an allerg >a new facial that didn$t =uite agree with me. B'ver the ears, m friends were surprised at how man facials didn$t agree with me.C Still dazed, # ad!usted m clothing, darkened m lipstick, put on the chunk gold necklace and waddled downstairs. /s instructed. *hen # reached the last stair of the spiral staircase of our D4.E million dollar home, # plastered a smile on m disappointed lips and greeted our guests. (rom the corner of m e e, # noticed Tom e eing me, waiting to see if # would tell on him, or indicate in an wa the discord in our supposedl perfect marriage. # ignored him and focused on our guests. # would deal with the bastard later. /fter a while, he moved towards me and, as if nothing had happened, slipped his arm around m waist. # casuall tried to shrug it off, but he held on, his fingers digging into m side. /fter our last guest arrived, he rattled a knife on a cr stal goblet. 61adies and gentleman, it is now time for me to give m beautiful wife her anniversar gift.9 *ith a fake smile plastered on m lips, # watched him in silence. 7e led us all outside, where # gasped at the sight of a silver ,F* GE3i EH@ in our drivewa with a huge red bow on it. # knew that it cost more than a hundred and fift thousand dollars, as # had gone car shopping with him weeks ago. /ll e es were on me, most of them filled with env . 7e pinched m waist. 6#t$s beautiful,9 # murmured =uickl , forced to sa something. #t trul was a lovel vehicle, although the one # was driving, a Fercedes four"wheel drive, was !ust as beautiful. # looked at him. 6,ut, # didn$t get ou an thing, Tom.9 F voice felt strained and high"pitched. 7e hugged me. 6-ou are m gift alone, /rena. -ou bring me so much !o , m love.9 6/aaawwww<9 # heard our guest sa . 67ow sweet<9 #f onl the knew that less an hour ago, this person had hit his pregnant wife. 6/nd that$s not all,9 he said and produced a prett red bo), which when opened, revealed a chunk diamond bracelet. 7e slipped it onto m wrist, then kissed m hand and bowed obse=uiousl . Iasps of delight and more unbridled env abounded, which he clearl thrived on. Env was his currenc > his eli)ir of life. *ithout it, # do believed he would have shriveled and died. Then he took me into his arms again and lovingl embraced me. *hen he kissed me, he threaded his fingers into m hair and slipped his tongue into m mouth. 7is kiss felt horrible > like sucking on raw steak. # felt awkward an uncomfortable and # wanted him to stop the ,roadwa show. *hen # !erked slightl awa , his fingers gripped m hair and pulled hard, a silent warning > ou$d better pla along or else. 7aving no choice, # became a supporting act in his show and # felt like the phon # was.

Then the doorbell went. 6*ill ou get that, darling89 he said to m surprise. # did. #t was a florist delivering the biggest bou=uet of roses # had ever seen. 6(or Frs /rena ,otha,9 the deliver man said, struggling to even carr the roses. # was not impressed with an of this. Sure his gifts were lovel , but # would have preferred if he gave me the gifts that morning when it was !ust the two of us or sent me the roses during the da . #t was obvious that all this was about him > 61ook at me. 1ook how successful # am. See what # can give my woman. .on$t ou wish ou were married to me instead of our husband89 # didn$t leave Tom that night, instead # went into earl labour and had to have a caesarian section si) hours after our last guest left. /ll thoughts of leaving went out the door and # continued living with Tom, starring in his shows and bu ing copious amounts of green concealer. 'ur son *arren, a beautiful blue"e ed bo became m silver lining. 'ne word to describe Tom > suffocating. Ever time he was around, # felt like # had a pillow over m face. # dreaded the hour when he would walk through that door and when he left the house, # felt like the pillow had lifted from m face.

Chapter $wo
The second time Tom hit me, *arren our bab was eight months old. Tom grabbed me b the hair and smashed the side of m head against a door. # la dazed on the floor while m bab screamed his head off. There were no tell"tale signs of the assault > no blood, no marks, !ust searing pain. #t took me more than an hour to function normall and to see one of ever thing. *e had been arguing about m famil . *hen # left South /frica, he had promised that # could go home ever four months to visit m mother and siblings, or that he would send them plane tickets to visit us in S dne . Now that the wanted to see m bab , m mother$s first grandchild, Tom wouldn$t let me go to South /frica and he refused to send m mother a plane ticket. F mother could not afford to pa her wa to /ustralia and Tom knew that. 6-ou want to go to South /frica, go<9 he said. 6,ut ou are not taking *arren with. Io ourself.9 'f course # wouldn$t leave m bab and go off to South /frica. ,ut # was diagnosed with post" partum depression and desperatel needed m mother around. # felt isolated, alone and # was !ump all the time. Tom was a t rant to live with. 7e was a neat freak and a perfectionist. The house had to be a certain wa or he would go ballistic and throw things around. #t didn$t matter that # had a bab > ever thing had to be a certain wa . 7is wa . The part # hated most about m miserable e)istence > the bedroom. # hated the wa he demanded se) !ust about ever night, forced me into perverted positions and the fact that he was insatiable. 7ated the wa he roughed me up during se), grabbed m hair, twisted m neck, the wa his hand fastened around m throat while thrusting vigorousl into me, the wa he took total control over m bod and m soul and dominated me in the harshest possible wa , the wa he demanded # orgasm in record time, then got irritated when # didn$t, the wa # had to fake it !ust to please him, the wa # broke down and cried in the bathroom so man times after # had se) with him, the man # had chosen to have and to hold. That video of %amela /nderson giving Tomm 1ee a blow !ob > he made me watch it with him. 6# want that,9 he said, pointing his finger at %amela. 6See that look in her e es8 # want that. That babe, she likes it. She wants it. She$s begging for it. See8 See8 # want that, ou hear8 -ou better shape up, cos # expect that.9 #f, while we were having se), *arren cried, which was often, Tom wouldn$t allow me to stop and take care of our bab . 6# come first,9 he declared in an angr voice. 6/lwa s. 7e must understand that. # am the man of the house. This is m house.9 'nce, *arren cried so pitifull > # !ust couldn$t take it an more. #n the middle of se), # broke down and wept. Tom got so mad at the sight of m tears, he withdrew from me, stormed over to *arren and elled into poor *arren$s face for about five minutes. 6-ou !ust want attention all the time< -ou are such an attention seeker, ou little wuss. Irow up, be a man<9 Two ear old *arren got so scared, he wet his pants, started trembling and sobbed without sound. *hen # tried to protect *arren from Tom, he shoved me so hard, # fell back and bruised m tailbone. /s # la on the ground in agon , he grabbed *arren b the scruff of his neck. 6.o ou want to sleep on the balcon tonight89 *arren didn$t make a sound. Not even when # took him in m arms and tried to comfort him.

To keep the peace, # did ever thing # possibl could to please Tom. ,ut his beatings, verbal and ph sical, took its toll on me. .a b da , m spirit was slowl eroded, # became reall unsure of m self and # lived under a cloak of shame. Shame that # was the kind of woman who allowed a man to walk all over me and to beat me. Shame that # wasn$t strong enough to tell him to take a hike. F confidence was almost non"e)istent and # felt worthless. 7ow did # get to be like this, # kept asking m self8 /s for se) > # hated se). #f # never had se) again in m whole life, # would be the happiest woman alive. ;ust about ever woman # know would hate it if their husband had an affair, a mistress. Not me. # pra ed that he$d find someone, have a torrid se)ual affair so that he could leave me the fuck alone. /ll # wanted was to be a mum to m bab and to not to live in a state of constant stress. There were so man other things # hated about Tom. # despised him and all that he stood for. ,ut # had no mone to leave, no support in /ustralia and # had a bab to think about. # knew that the moment # left, he would cancel m credit cards. # had signed a prenup, so # knew # would get little from him. F future seemed so uncertain and # lacked the energ to do something. -et, in spite of all the uncertaint , # knew one thing for certain > # didn$t want to be married to Tom an more. (rom Iod knows where, # eventuall plucked up the courage and =uietl made plans to leave him.

Chapter $hree
# tried to save some of m housekeeping mone , but # guess # was too transparent > Tom smelled a rat and probed me about it, watched me like a hawk, monitored ever cent # spent. *anted to see whatever # bought. 7e had no problem with me bu ing stuff using the credit cards, it was !ust cash he didn$t want me to have access to. #n fact, he loved it when # went shopping with m friends and bought tons of e)pensive and unnecessar stuff. *hen # returned home, he$d post"mortem m shopping e)pedition. 6*ho$d ou go with89 6.id she see what ou bought89 6*hat did she sa about it8 *as she impressed89 6.id she bu one too89 /s # said before, we had to have bigger, better, shinier, newer or he wouldn$t be happ . Env , Tom$s best friend, dwelled in his heart. /nd he was a mean drunk. *henever he got drunk, which he did after !ust two ;ohnn *alker blue label because he hardl ate, he would lecture me on how fortunate # was. 6-ou are so luck to have a husband like me. /ll our friends, the wish the had married me.9 6#f # were a woman, #$d be attracted to me cos # am a great catch. No reall , # am.9 7e was right, m superficial circle of friends thought he was something > man"e)traordinaire, doting father Bcos he was wonderful to *arren in front of peopleC, loving husband Bcos he alwa s held m hand, looked deep into m e es when we talked and cozied up to me in publicC, successful businessman Bcos he flaunted his mone C and a super"fit athlete, an iron man Bcos he had a ton of trophies to prove itC. on!t you wish your husband was hot like mine" F freedom eluded me. /fter much thought, # realized # needed a credit card. 'ne that Tom didn$t know about. ,ut # was not gainfull emplo ed, so # couldn$t get one. # needed to find a wa to get one. 'ut of desperation, # lied on an application form about m emplo ment status and :# managed to secure m self a credit card< # was ecstatic< The first step towards me leaving him. Towards m freedom. /ll because of a credit card with a limit of a measl D@333. To me it was a ke and # treasured it. To prevent Tom from finding out, # put the card in a zip"lock bag and stuck it in the freezer between the broccoli and spinach. # was careful and ensured that no credit card bills arrived at m house. # used the card then =uickl made pa ments on it > nursed it in an attempt to up m credit. ,ecause of m precious credit card, # managed to secure m self a storage facilit . # was e)cited, another step towards m freedom. 7ope blossomed inside of me. #n the storage facilit , # stored nothing e)cept copies of all mine and *arren$s documents, and all the tags and wrappings from the items # had purchased on Tom$s credit cards. # kept ever single wrapper and bo), receipt, tags, manuals etc. F plan was to bu like craz , show Tom m purchases, then hang them up or leave them around to avoid suspicion. ,ut instead of tossing out the tags and wrappings, # saved ever one of them and hid them in m secret storage facilit . /fter # left Tom, # planned to sell these unused items on Eba and use the mone to live. ,ecause of the original wrapping and bo)es, all the items would be brand"new. # calculated in m head > almost twent grand worth of bags, !ackets, shoes, dresses, make"up, to s, soft furnishings etc. /ll designer. # would probabl get half of what the were worth, but it would have to do. 0ntil *arren was old enough for me to hold down a full"time !ob.

See, # knew that # couldn$t leave the countr with *arren, or Tom would, without hesitation send the police after me. # would have to live in S dne so # needed to survive. Each time # took a step towards m freedom, # got more energized and life became more bearable. The pillow moved further and further from m face. # thought about talking to m friends about m plans as # desperatel needed support. ,ut Tom wanted me to associate with selected people, people who # never cared for because of their shallowness and mean"spiritedness. *henever a friend of mine got e)pensive !ewelr , # made a point of telling Tom how wonderful her !ewelr was and how much # admired it. 1o and behold, m !ealous and vain husbandJabuser would get me a better one > more diamonds, more gold, more e)pensive. # would smile and store it awa , then stash the bo) and price tags in m storage facilit . The onl hope # had in m life was m storage locker. #t was like a shrine of freedom to me. /fter # visited m locker, m spirits alwa s soared. 'nce, # was driving back from m precious storage unit when Nick Fina!$s #reedom pla ed on the radio. # pumped up the volume, opened the sunroof of m ,F* and sang along to the chorus. # didn$t mind the rap and profanit > # !ust loved the chorus where she said that she felt free. /lread # was feeling free. Somewhat free. /t the thought of being completel free of Tom, tears ran down m cheeks. 'ne da # would taste, feel and be completel free like she was. # would fl like a bird and soar with m bab on m back. #reedom became m theme song and whenever times were rough, # hummed it. F song of hope. There will come a da .

Chapter *o+r
&ouple of times, # de"cluttered > cleared out m cupboards and *arren$s. K.onated$ stuff to charit . Fade a huge noise about it. 0pdated and upgraded stuff around m house. ,ut it wasn$t for charit . F clothes were carted off to m storage locker. # even Kgave awa $ TL$s, cd pla ers, bedside lamps, kitchen utensils, furniture, soft furnishings and all the stuff # would need in m new home. F nest was growing and freedom was within reach. Tom did not want me on birth control, but Iod forbid # got pregnant while # was tr ing to escape his clutches. Muietl , # took a contraceptive in!ection. ,ut a hitch > # re"acted badl to the contraceptive in!ection and had to stop. ,ack to the pill which # shoved into m freezer among the frozen ,russels sprouts and cauliflower. The freezer was coming in prett hand these da s. *ho knew frozen vegetables could mulit"task8 F fear that he would find out about m plans paral zed me with fear at times. # knew that for some reason and fuck knew wh > Tom didn$t want to lose me. 7e couldn$t live without me for long. Never once did # kid m self that it was because he loved me too much. 7e onl loved himself. #t was the control that he needed. *ithout that control he floundered. 7e was a closed book, so # didn$t know much about his childhood. ,ut # knew that he had a long time ago severed all ties with his famil . #t became obvious that he was e)tremel !ealous about the close relationship # had with m mom and m three siblings. That was the reason he lured me to /ustralia where it was !ust him and me. /n wa , back to m fear about Tom finding out > had no choice, it was a chance # was willing to take. 'ften # thought about sitting down and talking to Tom about how # feel, but # feared that he would get angr and take it out on *arren, so # didn$t. Then disaster. F worst fears were realized. # fell pregnant. # was so devastated b the news, that after staring slack"!awed at m doctor for a few moments, # broke down and cried in his rooms. SobbedJ 7ow could # possibl bring another child into this marriage, into the midst of a t rant8 *arren was alread terrorized b his father > when Tom came home ever evening, *arren was so =uiet, ou$d forget that there was a three" ear old in the room. There couldn$t be to s l ing around > ever thing had to be in its place. No terrible twos or tantrum threes for poor *arren > he had to grow up prett fast or face Tom$s wrath. #n hindsight, # shouldn$t have had children with Tom. 7orrible thing to sa , but : F doctor was confused at m re"action and =uizzed me about it. # longed to tell him the truth > tell him ever thing. ,ut how could # > he pla ed s=uash ever (rida with Tom8 67ormones,9 # muttered and hurriedl left his rooms. ,ut Tom was happ about the pregnanc and threw a lavish part , then threw oodles of !ewelr at me. /ll of which # accepted with a smile. *hen # look back, # think Tom liked the idea of more kids as the were nooses around m neck which kept me dependent on him. #t wasn$t alwa s like that. *hen Tom met me, # was carefree, but =uiet sure of m self. 7e had to work reall hard to get me, so it baffled me as to wh he treated me the wa he did. #t was a difficult pregnanc > several miscarriage scares and # was admitted to hospital at various stages of m pregnanc . No wa could # leave Tom now. The noose tightened and deep down # resented this bab who brought the pillow closer to m face. Then, on a cold ;ul morning, a beautiful, bounc , blue"e ed angel, with lips like rosebuds, was placed in m arms. She was angelic and the image of me and # !ust melted. She was so soft and delicate that # vowed to m self that # would never let Tom harm her. Tom named her Sasha. B# had no sa in the naming of both m kids whatsoever.C 7e didn$t hurt Sasha, but he grew increasingl impatient and mean towards *arren for no apparent reason. *hen *arren would cr he would call him dumb and siss and stupid.

*hen # intervened, he would get furious, accuse me of taking *arren$s side and terrorized *arren even more. 'ne night, # was reading a bedtime stor to *arren when # stopped and whispered, 6*arren, soon ou, me and Sasha, we$re going to leave this house and live awa from dadd .9 7is e es lit up. 6+eall mum8$ # nodded and put m finger to m lip. 6.on$t tell dadd , oka 89 7e took m finger from m lips and put it to his. 6-ou promise mum89 6# promise. /nd #$m even going to allow ou a dog. / teen one. Not right awa , but soon after we settle down.9 7is e es filled with delight. 6*hen dadd is mean, !ust remember that soon we are going to leave him and live !ust b ourselves.9 6Then can # run around the house and pla hide"and"seek89 6/bsolutel .9 6&an # ell89 6/bsolutel .9 6&an # eat in the TL room89 6/bsolutel .9 6&an # :can # walk around without m shoes89 6/bsolutel <9 7e threw his arms around me and hugged me hard and m heart ached for m son who wanted to kick off his shoes when he was inside his house. /fter that, ever night # would read him a =uick bed"time stor , then talk more about our life without Tom. 6*ill # be able to leave m to s l ing around89 6*hile ou are pla ing, es<9 6/wesome, mum.9 6*ould # be able to :89 #t would be =uestion after =uestion and he would fall asleep with a smile on his face. *hen Tom wasn$t around, he and # packed a suitcase for him. Stuff that he could take in a hurr . Sasha$s suitcase and mine was also packed. 'nl m !ewelr couldn$t be packed !ust et and # worried about that as # needed that to survive. #n spite of m concerns, our freedom was at hand and we were so e)cited. 7aving two kids drained me of energ , and # !ust wasn$t able to look the part Tom wanted. # had not lost the bab "weight and because # was sleep"deprived, # didn$t have the energ to e)ercise and be glamorous. # would awake two or three times a night, and then be up at H /F to give Tom his wheatgrass and =uinoa, then get *arren read for pre"school, then drive him to it. The da with bab Sasha was a blur and before # knew it, it was time to pick up *arren again. # was alwa s e)hausted. That didn$t sit well in Tom$s perfect world. #t was !ust an e)cuse to him. 61ook at Lictoria ,eckham. She lost the weight so =uickl . She has four children and she has an amazing figure. (our< 7ow man children do ou have8 Two.9 7e was right. 7ow could # argue8 Lictoria was a superwoman. 6-ou look frump in that dress. /m # supposed to introduce ou as m wife while ou wear that89 6*hat$s with that grann shoes89 6/re ou wearing sweat pants again89 61ook at Elizabeth 7urle > she lost the bab within weeks. *h can$t ou89 67ow man children has /ngelina got8 7er own children89 ,erated, belittled and beaten, # could no longer bear it.

Sasha was three months old, *arren was four ears"old > it was time to leave this to)ic environment. Muestion was, when8 7ow8 .o # !ust walk out and leave him a note8 .o # talk to him and sa goodb e8 # didn$t know !ust how to do it, so # floundered a bit.

Chapter *ive
# had gone shopping one Saturda morning with !ust Sasha. 0nable to handle two children, # left *arren with Tom. 7owever, # rushed back home before an drama could take place. *hen # arrived home to find *arren sitting on a chair, facing the wall, his chin buried in his chest, each time he sobbed, his bod !erked, # went beserk. 6*arren8 *hat$s wrong, hone 89 *arren put a shaking hand to his lips, his e es as wide as saucers, as if to sa , 6Fum be =uite. .on$t talk or ou$ll get into trouble.9 (urious at seeing m son so broken b his father, # pulled his hand out from his lips, then hugged him. Tom entered the room. 6Iet awa from him<9 6No, he$s four, Tom,9 # elled, 6 ou can$t do this to him<9 /fter getting over his surprise at the fact that # elled at him, he grabbed me b the collar and hauled me awa from *arren. *arren started to scream, then Sasha started to cr . 6-ou don$t want to listen to me, ou can go<9 Tom said. #t was then that # decided that # was leaving. 6'ka , oka , oka ,9 # said. 6-ou are right. 7e needs discipline.9 Tom$s shoulders rela)ed. 61et me cool off a bit and #$ll be fine. #$m sorr .9 6That$s better,9 Tom said. 6# need to bu a gift for Thea. #$ll !ust nip into to the shops. &an ou handle Sasha for half an hour89 /fter hesitating, he reluctantl nodded. # raced to the banks and using Tom$s credit cards, withdrew D@333 from each account. Slipping the ten grand in m bra, # dialed the police. Muickl , # e)plained that # was leaving m husband and that # needed help. 6# !ust need the cops to be present so that there is no drama,9 # said. 6%lease.9 The agreed. # drove towards m home and lingered at the end of m street in m car until # saw the cop car, then onl did # drive back home. Tom$s !aw dropped when he saw the cops behind me. 6#$m taking the children and #$m leaving,9 # said. 6*h 89 6,ecause # don$t like the wa ou treat me and # don$t like the wa ou treat *arren, Tom. # can$t take it an more.9 Even though # saw the fur in his e es and the thinning of his lips, he threw out of his hands and shrugged. 6#f that$s what ou want, then :9 7e was pla ing it cool for the cops. # knew his Fodus operandi. # rushed around gathering stuff. 1uckil most of it was alread packed. 6?eep him downstairs,9 # whispered to the cops. The did, and # was able to get m !ewelr from the safe as well. The !ewelr would probabl bring me another twent thousand, # thought. # shoved all of them into m pockets, gathered as much as # could, took m three"month"old bab and m four" ear"old son and started to leave m palatial home in St #ves, one of S dne $s most affluent suburbs. # thought, when # was sure he wasn$t around, # could slip in and take some more of m things. ,ut he was smart. 6# want her ke s,9 he told the cop. # removed m house ke from m bunch of ke s and gave it to him. *hat he didn$t know was that # had another set made in anticipation of this. *hen the cops back were turned, he whispered. 6# will get ou for this.9

# didn$t answer. 6# will hurt ou in such a wa , ou will never recover from it. -ou will never be the same.9 6*hat, ou want to kill me, Tom89 6Nope. *ant ou to live. (eel ever da . 7urt ever da . *ait and see, /rena.9 # looked at him. 7is e es were like granite and a chill ran through me. Faim me, perhaps8 0nhinged b his cold threats, # grabbed m stuff and moved awa from him. 'nce # had all the essentials # needed, # bundled m kids into m car and drove to a women$s shelter. # could afford a hotel room for the night, but # had read somewhere that to show real abuse, a woman should tr to spend a night in a shelter. #t strengthened her case of abuse later on. .idn$t know if it was true, but # did it. /s # drove to the women$s shelter, with the cops following me, # looked back at *arren. 6This is it, *arren. *e are going on a little holida first, then on Fonda , we are going to find an apartment and then we are going to :9 6:live happil , ever after, mumm 89 # laughed although tears ran down m face. 6E)actl , m bab .9 /t the traffic light, # leaned back and put out m hand. 67it me<9 *ith a broad grin, we high"fived each other. # searched for m (reedom song on m &. track and cranked up the volume. 6Sing with me, *arren<9 /nd he did. # was free. *e were free. (inall . The women$s shelter was not bad, and # was given a tin cubicle for me and m kids where # spent three da s. # didn$t mind one bit > it was another step total freedom. The people were friendl , supportive and most helpful. # gathered a ton of information about support groups and assistance for women in m situation, all of which # planned to use. /t night, # kept m kids close and slept soundl to m surprise. # awoke each morning with a smile > the albatross from around m wear neck had flown. (reedom tasted better than an thing # had ever tasted in m life.

Chapter Si,
/s e)pected, Tom cancelled all m credit cards the afternoon that # left him. ,ut # was e)pecting that and that$s where m plan , came in > m storage unit, the ten grand # had in m bra and the five grand that m credit card would allow me. 7e also cancelled m phone contract. # was e)pecting that too, and alread had another phone in m storage unit with all m contacts backed up. So far # was ahead of him and that gave me confidence. # was scared at times # have to admit. ,ut m inner strength and the desire to protect m babies was so strong, that it overrode all m fears and it propelled me along. 'n Fonda morning, # dropped off *arren at his school which was paid for for another three months, and with Sasha in a stroller, # set about finding an apartment. #t was e)hausting, but b 2 %F that afternoon, # had found one with the securit # needed. #t was e)pensive > wa more than # e)pected. *ith the rental bond and the first month$s rental, # was down five grand > a massive hole in m cash reserves. ,ut securit was something # !ust had to have because of Tom$s threats. So # had no choice but to accept it. The building had swipe card entr to everything and floor restriction too, which made me feel reall safe. # moved in twent four hours later, and the first night, we slept on the floor. ,ut that was oka . Soon # would have all that # needed. F laptop, i%ad and i%hone came in hand . # found a website which supported abused women and made contact with them. /fter interrogating me to ensure # wasn$t !ust some abusive husband$s snitch, a lad b the name of (atima paid me a visit. She gave me names of other women in the area who were in the same situation, who could support me and # guess, become friends. -ou know, same boat : She also sent me some students to help me move m stuff from the storage unit into m apartment. F apartment was, as *arren put it, looking cool. *e assembled beds and packed awa kitchen utensils and although # was dropping with e)haustion, # was high on m new life. # immediatel made contact with other abused women referred to me b (atima. To m surprise and delight, one of them lived in the same building as me. Soong +ichardson B es, +ichardson was her surnameC was a beautiful mail"order bride from Thailand who decided to flee her abusive fift "nine ear"old husband with her five" ear"old son, &harlie. She$d been in the countr for si) ears and her English was fairl good. /round twent "five, prett and streetwise, Soong made no bones about the fact that she was raised in a brothel and put to work from the tender age of four. # learned that she was sub!ected to horrific abuse in the hands of her emplo ers and her tales made me cr > like the time she got pregnant from a client, was taken for an abortion and within twent "four hours was made to work again. ,ecause she was still bleeding from the abortion and weak, she was made to give oral se) to customers. *hen a fift "something man asked her to be his wife and promised her a wonderful life in a land called /ustralia if she did, she thought she$d hit the !ackpot and readil accepted. Turns out he was a se)ual deviant. *anted her to wear a leather mask, chains and wanted to stuff things into ever orifice of hers. /t the same time. All the time. She e)plained that even thought she had been a prostitute, after she had a bab , she no longer wanted to do all those things, and she had seriousl believed that she had put her past behind her. 67one ,9 she said in broken English, 6he give me #ifty Shades of $rey and he sa , ou must read it and do me like that.9 # laughed out loud. 6# sa , K(aaark ou. # know more than that book, then # leave.9

Soong was taking control of her life and with the help of &entrelink, was currentl stud ing to become a beaut and massage therapist. She offered to take me to &entrelink and appl for government financial assistant. # ma laugh at her stor , but m situation was not that much different from hers. BE)cept that m English was perfect.C # too was a mail"order bride, # understand that now. Tom came all the wa to South /frica, wooed me into marr ing him at the tender age of nineteen and fresh out of high school, then enticed me to /ustralia, promising that together, we will pave the wa for m famil to come to /ustralia. 0ntil # met him, # had never travelled and was prett green about :everything, for that matter. 7e promised to sponsor m entire famil Busing his businessC so that we could all be together. ,ut like all abusers, # understand now that he !ust wanted to isolate me from ever one, leaving me without support, alone, defenseless and totall reliant on him. 7e succeeded at ever thing. ,ut that was Tom, he finished what he started. /s for #ifty Shades of $rey, mine was slightl different > %amela and Tomm 1ee, remember8 /s # said, !ust slightly. Even though Soong constantl called me K7one $ and out of habit talked to me like she was talking to a past client, # reall liked her warmth and caring nature. She was rough, a fighter, a real loudmouth, but her heart was in the right place. # think she pitied me because she became ver protective towards me. # was reall grateful for her friendship and big heart. *e soon became firm friends and :a huge bonus > our bo s loved pla ing together. # watched her son and she watched mine. 'ften she would show up at m apartment after m kids had gone to bed, clutching her te)t books and with tears in her e es. She didn$t understand so man aspects of her studies because of the language barrier and it frustrated her to tears. # readil helped her understand and at times, even did her assignments for her, then e)plained it to her like # was talking to *arren. /t times like that, # was reall grateful that # was fluent in English. #n fact # had so man things to be grateful for that # kept a gratitude diar and counted m blessings on a dail basis. Especiall when # became an)ious. *hich was often. Two children under the age of four, one a bab , no famil or close friends to support ou > # challenge an one women in m position not to have bouts of an)iousness and self"doubt. *ith regards to m financial situation > a =uick calculation revealed that # could be home with Sasha for about four months if # am frugal. +eall frugal. # was happ to do that, as the thought of leaving Sasha all da with a da mother was not something # wanted to do. She was so little and she needed me so much. F apartment was tin > one bedroom, a kitchenette, a tin loungeJdining area and a narrow balcon . ,ut it was secure, centrall situated and :# did # mention that # was free8 # was so head with e)citement, that # couldn$t stop smiling. 6*arren,9 # said, 6this is now our home hone bee< -ou will visit dadd sometimes, but ou will live here with me.9 67e$s never going to visit us here89 *arren asked, a hopeful look in his e es. 6Nope.9 6-ou promise, mum89 # hugged to me. 6# promise, m darling.9 *e had the music on !ust about all da . %op, countr , rmb and boom"boom music too. Even rap. Even head"banging rubbish as the called it> we pla ed it all. Tom onl wanted us to listen to classical music and he literall banned all modern music from our house. Now we rebelled > we pla ed absolutel no classical music. /ll our music had words. # would put on the music and dance with *arren while Sasha cooed in her bab cradle. *e were e)cited. *e were happ . 1ife was good.

Even though we had meager meals and # wasted nothing, and even though we had the bare necessities in our apartment, even though we never had take"out, even though there was no mone for new to s, no mone for Fc.onalds, we were happ . The onl thing # splurged on an on"line accounting course. # figured accounting # could do from home. F Eba business cruised along, but since a lot of m stuff was designer, sales were slow. # didn$t mind. # worked hard with the intention of making it. The amounts # was offered for m !ewelr b pawn shops were ridiculous so # decided to sell them on"line. There too sales were slow. *hen Sasha was si) months old, # secured a work"from"home !ob from a print shop. Even though 1aura, the owner had wanted someone to work from her shop, # convinced her that # could be !ust as efficient working from home and that if she didn$t like it, she didn$t have to pa me. She too had a si) month"old bab , so # guess she understood cos she agreed. *hen she saw how and what # had done a week later, she was thrilled and kept me on. #n fact, she even paid me to watch her child some da s, which added to m income. To cope, # woke up at @ /F and worked till H5N3 /F uninterrupted. Then # worked when Sasha napped and late at night when the kids were asleep. # was e)cited about the stead income and scouted around for more !obs. # landed an accounting !ob at a swim school for three hours a da , two da s a week. /nd:the allowed me to bring m bab to work< /fter a while, the were happ with what # produced and didn$t mind that # did most of the work from home. 'ne morning, # caught a glimpse of m self in the mirror. # stopped and took a closer look. Such a different woman staring back at me. (or one thing, m hair had grown reall long. Tom alwa s wanted me to wear it in bob, !ust below m ears and the colour had to be deep mahogan . Now it was the lightest brown, closer to m original hair colour. # liked the tousled, unstructured look. #t was, dare # sa it > se) < F dressing had also changed. # wore mainl !eans and casual tops these da s. Tom wanted me dressed all da , from the time # woke up to the time # went to bed. 7e wanted, no, make that insisted, that # wear co"ordinates, pumps and full make up. 7e hated sneakers. Toda , # was wearing onl moisturizer, lip gloss, sneakers and guess what > m clothes weren$t coordinating< # smiled at m self in the mirror. # had lost some weight and m e es were shining. # was a picture of happiness.

Chapter Seven
F legal aid attorne , /li /l +ubai wrote to Tom and informed him that he was acting on m behalf and that Tom could contact me through them. 7e went on to tell him that # was happ to meet with him to arrange visitation with him and the children. Since # was afraid that he would snatch the children and disappear, # made it clear that # was open to him seeing the children as often as possible, although for formalit sake, # re=uested that we stipulate visitation da s. *e got no repl . / few weeks later, /li served him with a summons for divorce. /li was then contacted b Lan der Ierr, *est and Fart, who would be representing Tom in the divorce. # asked for nothing, because Tom had made me sign a prenup which would give me less than fift thousand dollars if we divorced before ten ears. *hen # signed it, # was nineteen and knew little about these issues. ,ut it was all good. # wanted nothing from him. Even though we have three residential properties, a commercial building and a business, # was happ to walk awa with m freedom. #f the courts granted me child support, that would be great. OOOO 6# can$t go, Soong,9 # said. 6#$d rather save the D43 for food and diapers and stuff.9 6,ut hone needs to go out and have fun.9 6,ut then, Soong, there$s also the issue of a bab sitter and #$d have to pa her and :9 ,eing the problem solver that she was, Soong bought me a ticket and arranged a mother of some Thai girl she knew to watch over our kids, in e)change for two massages. 7ow could # argue with that8 The dance hall was si) minutes awa from m apartment, so # could be home in no time if there was a problem. # was reall e)cited now. F first solo outing since # left high school. # had enough prett clothes and stilettos alread , so that problem was solved. *ith +ihanna pla ing in the background, # e)foliated, primped, painted m nails, shaved m legs and finall # was read . # looked in the mirror and smiled. # looked nice, # though > different. *hen # saw what Soong was wearing, # groaned inwardl . She was dressed in a ver short cerise skirt, a cerise boob"tube, magenta glitter lipstick and hooker heels. She had coloured her hair blonde herself and it was a reall bad, patch !ob. She looked like, dare # sa it > a prostitute. 6*hat ou think so89 she asked, turning around slowl , an e)pectant look on her face. 6*hat ou think so89 *hat could # sa 8 She was feeling great and she was comfortable in her skin of magenta. 6-ou look great,9 # lied. She frowned at me. 6*h ou no read , /rena89 # looked down at m black !eans and black strapp top, m stilettos and shrugged. 6*hat$s wrong with ..89 6Nah, nah, nah,9 she said. 6-ou look fift " ears"old. 7one must get se)ified.9 She circled her boobs, then stuck out her butt. # sighed and fished into m cupboards for a top that showed cleavage so that # wouldn$t look fift . / silver and black top which bunched under the breasts. She gave a thumbs"up to the top, but she shook her head at m !eans. 6'ka , fine,9 # said and went in search of a black mini. *hen she saw me in the mini, she clapped her hands. 67undred percent. 7one get husband tonight.9 6'h, no,9 # said as # grabbed m purse and followed her out. 6# do not want a husband.9

6'r se) then,9 she said. 6&asual se).9 6'h, no<9 # said. 6Not that either, thank ou.9 6*hat8 -ou no lika se)89 # shook m head and stuck out m bottom lip. 6# actuall hate it.9 6,ecause of our husband89 # nodded. 6No worries, hone ,9 she said, patting m back in a reassuring manner. 6+ight man and hone will love se).9 6-eah, right.9 OOOO The dance was a blast. (or the first time since # had met Tom, # danced the wa # wanted to, with m hands in the air and without inhibition. 7e didn$t approve of Kwild$ dancing, onl ball" room st led dancing. 7e and # even had lessons which to me were so boring. # wanted to salsa and zumba, but Tom was aghast at the thought of me wanting to Ke)hibit$ m self, as he called it. *ith Soong and the girls, we unleashed ourselves on the dance floor. *e danced from the beginning to the end and onl took breaks to catch our breath. # was not short of male attention and =uite a few gu s bought me drinks without even asking me if the could. # was war about being roofied sure, but # had Soong in m corner who was watchful over me, so # didn$t worr too much. /fter having five drinks # was drunk, happ and secretl pleased that # could command attention from men. # had thought that # had lost m mo!o somewhere with motherhood, but he , evidentl , # still had it. F ego was stroked big time. ,ut # had the bab sitter to think about, so # made plans to leave. 6'ka , hone ,9 Soong said, sounding disappointed at leaving her s=ueeze called Fike and /ussie gu with the shin green e es and a naught smile. 6-ou sta as long as ou like,9 # said. 6#$ll take care of &harlie.9 6-ou sure, hone 89 6-eah, of course, have fun. #$ll see ou tomorrow.9 67undred percent, hone <9 she gushed and ran off with Files. *hen # left the dance venue, # removed m heels and started m si) minute limp home. Serves me right for dancing non"stop on stilettos. #t was a safe area and there were =uite a few people around so # wasn$t afraid. The night was balm and had a holida feel to it. ,ut as # walked home, # couldn$t help feeling like # was being watched. /t first # wondered if it was Tom. # wouldn$t have put something like that past the bastard. *hen # turned around, a saw a tall gu following me. (ear snaked through me. # had seen him at the dance watching me. 7e wore an open checked shirt with a white t"shirt inside, cargo pants, a beanie and brown boots. 7is had a beard and a thick moustache > hair and scar . # =uickened m pace, kept to the lit up sections of the road and hurried home. ,ut # could hear his footsteps behind me and even when # reached m building he was still behind me. Muickl and with shaking hands, # swiped m card and darted into the building. # rushed into the elevator and hit the Kdoor close$ button. *hen # looked up, to m horror, he was inside m building< 7ow the hell did he get inside, # wondered8 7ad # left the door open in m haste to get awa from him8 7e didn$t look like he lived here > to me he looked like a homeless person. %anicking, # pra ed that the elevator door would close before he entered. #t did, luckil . #n his face too. Shaking # ran into m apartment and bolted the door shut.

# made a mental note not to walk alone at night. This homeless gu or whoever he was had freaked me out something terrible. /lso made a mental note to get some mace. Soong probabl spent the night with the gu she met, because at 44 /F the ne)t morning, she was still not home. # decided to take the kids to the park. *hen we got into the lift, # was horrified to see the homeless gu enter the lift. F mouth went dr , m legs went weak. *as he going to rob me8 Steal m wallet8 .rag me awa from m kids and rape me somewhere in dark corner in the building. 67ello<9 he muttered. # nodded stiffl . (rom the corner, # saw him wink at *arren and &harlie. 1uckil , the moment # got out of the lift, there was people all around. 7ours later, on m wa back, # bumped into Soong in the fo er and :she was laughing with the homeless man. # waved and =uickl scurried awa . That gu gave me the creeps. 1ater # accosted her. 6*h were ou talking to the homeless man89 # asked. 67e not homeless, hone . 7e cop.9 6*hat8 That gu with the check shirt and that horrible beard8 7e$s a cop89 She nods. 6%lain close cop.9 6%lain : ou mean plainclothes cop89 67undred percent, hone .9 6No wa . 7e can$t be.9 6#s,9 she insisted. 6+eall 8 *ow. # thought he was a homeless man who was going to snatch m purse or kill me with a knife, take me behind the building and rape me. Iosh, # was shit scared.9 She starts to laugh. 6+eall 8 7one was so scared89 6'h es,9 # said. 6# wanted to run out of the lift when he entered.9 She clapped her hands and laughed her head off.

Chapter Eight
7one and # were standing outside m door talking about Files, the gu she was now seeing, when we saw the homeless man, eh, the plainclothes cop. /fter throwing me a dirt look, he smiled at Soong. 67e Soong< 7ow did our last assignment go89 6#s fucking shiiiit,9 Soong said with a laugh. 6(ift "five percent onl .9 6/w, that$s too bad. ,ut ou passed right89 6,ut # pass, so is good.9 7e put out his hand. Soong high"fived him. To m surprise, he opened the door of the apartment :across me. # looked at Soong with big e es. 7e wasn$t following me, he was returning to his apartment< /nd to think # closed the lifts on him. &rap< # made a mental note not to get so paranoid. F mind was littered with mental notes as ou can see. 6-ou meet m friend, /rena, ,ear89 &op looked directl at me and for the first time # saw cobalt e es. 6-eah, she$s the one who shut the elevator on me,9 he said in a baritone voice. 6'h, sorr about that,9 # mumbled. 7is name was ,ear8 +eall 8 7e looked like one though. 6That$s because she think ou are homeless man and she get ver scared of ou last night,9 Soong said and collapsed into fits of giggles. 6She from St #ves ou know.9 7e cocked his head and looked at me with wide"e es, while # crimsoned under his gaze of disbelief. 67omeless89 7e made a point of checking out his threads. 67omeless89 6She sa :9 Soong continued laughing, 6she sa :she think ou steal her purse and :9 6*haaaat8<9 6:take her in the side of the building and rape her.9 6+ape her8 Fe8 #s our friend nuts89 F hands fl to m mouth. 6Soooooong<9 # hiss. 6*ill ou stop89 Soong laughed harder. *ith an amused smile on his face, ,ear folded his arms across his chest, widened the gap between his legs and looked at me. 6*haaat89 Soong asked still laughing. 6# lie8 # no lie, right8 F stor hundred percent.9 # gave a dismissive wave and groaned with embarrassment. 6# :# gotta go,9 # muttered and shut the door on their laughter. 6So what else did she sa 89 # heard him ask. ,ehind closed door, # shoved all m knuckles into m mouth and cringed. *hat else was she sa ing to him8 6'h Iod<9 7e was m neighbor > how do # handle living across him after all the things # said about the man8 OOOO Two da s later, # found m self ne)t to ,ear waiting for the lift, stroller in hand. 67i,9 # said in a strained voice, m face flaming. 67i,9 he returned. The twinkle in his e e told me that he was found m embarrassment highl entertaining. (or a few moments we stood in strained silence. (inall , # could bear it no more. # whirled to look up at him. 61ook, #$m sorr # said those things. # didn$t ou were a cop and # !ust :# was scared, oka and reall # shouldn$t have said all those things because :9 6+ela),9 he said in a rich, chocolat voice. 6No sweat, neighbour.9 6':ka .9 # fell silent and bit m bottom lip.

The lift arrived and he held the door open for me, his e es shining with amusement. 6Thank ou,9 # said feeling between a fool and a nutcase. 6So, ou don$t like beards, then89 6'h Iod<9 # groaned. 6She told ou :9 6:everything. /nd if # were ou, # would turn red too.9 7e laughed. # shook m head and looked up at the ceiling. 6+emind me never to rob a bank with her. Fa be # should move. To the moon, Fars, wherever<9 7e laughed harder. F head dropped. 6#$m sorr . # :gosh, # haven$t been this embarrassed in a long time.9 # looked up at him. 6/t least ou$re entertained, right89 6*ell, eah. # haven$t been this entertained in a long time. /nd ou should be sorr , and ou should be doing ever thing to make it up to me.9 # gave an embarrassed chuckle. 6*hen m ship comes in, # will bu ou a cup of hot chocolate,9 # said. 67owzat89 7e appeared to think about it. 6*ith marshmallows89 # smiled. 6#t$s fift cents more, but he , ou$re so worth it #$m sure.9 *e both laughed out loud as the lift reached ground floor. 67ave a nice da ,9 # said to ,ear as # left the elevator. 6-ou too,9 he said and disappeared around the corner. OOOO *e bumped into each other often in the building and when we did, we shared a knowing smile and some light banter. Fost of the times # left red"faced but smiling. 7e came across as a little sh and # think that$s wh he hid behind all that facial hair. ?nowing that he was sh made me a little bolder. 'ne da , # turned to him and said 6#$ve invited Soong and Files to dinner. *ould ou like to come too89 7e looked taken aback b m invite and # wondered if perhaps # had been too bold. 6Eh, *hen89 6Tomorrow night. ,efore ou sa es, # must warn ou, it$s a simple dinner.9 *hat # meant is that it isn$t a sit"down, three"course, catered dinner like # used to throw when # was married to Tom the t rant. 6Eh:9 6#t$s oka if ou can$t or ou don$t want to and # mean, like # understand and :9 6/rena<9 # stopped babbling. 6# have m daughter with me. *ould ou mind if # brought her along89 # looked at him in surprise. .idn$t know he had kids. 6Sure. /bsolutel . 'f course. 7ow old is she89 6(our.9 6%erfect. *arren would love it.9 6*ell, then #$d love to come to dinner and simple is good. *hat can # bring89 6'h, !ust some wine, perhaps.9 6'ka . #$m looking forward to our cooking.9 6'h. 7ope # don$t disappoint ou.9 6-ou$d better not,9 he said with a smile. 6-ou have a lot of making up to do. +ape ou, homeless, remember89 6'h shaddup<9 # muttered wanting the earth to open up and swallow me right now. 7e laughed. 6See ou tomorrow night.9 # couldn$t believe that # had actuall asked a gu out. 7ow bold was that8 ,razen. This reall was the new me.

Files, Soong$s latest flame was a pleasant gu , in his forties, in S dne on contract. # doubted it was an thing serious, but the seemed to be having fun. Files and Soong invited me a few times to their place so it was m turn to reciprocate. Soong didn$t cook, and Files was d ing for some home cooking. #t was the first time # would be entertaining and # was =uite e)cited about it. # had received monies from the work # had done, so # could afford a simple dinner. The appealing thing was that # could have fun while # prepared to entertain. *ith ?an e in the background and *arren helping to peel potatoes, it was !ust a great, laid"back atmosphere. So what if things the crocker wasn$t matching and the glasses were lead cr stal and the cutler wasn$t heav silver8 #t was all good to me. 0nlike the times when # was with Tom > if things weren$t perfect for our guests, Tom would get furious and worked up, so much so, that ever time we entertained, # used to be terribl stressed and simpl dreaded entertaining. Now # was in control and loving ever moment of it. ,ecause # had two kids under five, # had to prepare well in advance and # did. # actuall started earl that morning. , the time m guests arrived, # was almost done. ;ust the salad left to assemble. *hen # caught m self belting out #eel This %oment with &hristina and %itbull, # stopped m dicing, put down m knife and smiled. This moment needed to be savoured like fine wine. /nd # did. # cracked opened a 7eineken, took a huge gulp and smiled. ,eer was significant at that moment. Tom liked beer but never drank it in public > didn$t want to come across as a beer"drinker, so he onl drank ;ohnn *alker ,lue 1abel around friends. -ou know to impress them further. # liked beer too, but of course, # wasn$t even allowed to even bu it. 7ad to drink champagne in a long"stemmed cr stal glass in front of people. ,ut in m teen kitchen, # was drinking beer in a can > tack and # loved it< (reedom > what a delightful thing to be able to do what ou like. Never again would # give it to a man. Talking about man:if # had to be reall honest, #$d sa that # was looking forwards to seeing ,ear, m homeless"man"cop again. # had some serious making up to do and # was going to do it tonight. Files and Soong arrived bringing a ton of food and drink, for which # was grateful. ,ear was the last one to arrive and he$s brought starters, deserts, wine and beers and goodies for the kids. 6*ow, Santa<9 # said impressed with his generosit . 6-ou didn$t have to bring so much of stuff, but thanks.9 67o< 7o< 7o< /nd ou$re welcome,9 he said. 6This lovel girl here is /m and she$s four and has never met a loll she didn$t like.9 /m looked a lot like ,ear and she was e=uall sh , hiding behind his legs. 0ntil she met &harlie and *arren. She ran off with them and we never saw her again until it was time to eat. 6*elcome to m humble abode,9 # said with Sasha on m hip. 6Thank ou. &an # help with an thing89 6Eh, drinks, please. #f ou can top up ever one$s glasses.9 *e had a pleasant evening during which # discovered that Soong has told him all about m abusive marriage and m great escape. 6'h Iod, Soong<9 # muttered in disma . ,ear grinned at m discomfort. 6,ut he ask me, Soong said. 67e ask me all the time about ou. Ever time.9 # swung around to look at him. 6She$s :she$s l ing,9 he said, his face turning red in spite of all that facial hair. F turn to grin. ,usted<

Soong$s !aw drop. 6# :not :a :lie. 7e ask so muuuuuch. *h she leave her husband8 She see an bod right now89 /lcohol, when it came to Soong doubled as truth serum. ,ear scratched his head. 6/n bod got duct tape8 # need to gag Soong<9 67ow old she be :8 So man =uestions, # sa , 6,ear, ou want to know, wh ou don$t ask her89 6(uuuuck<9 # heard him mutter. 7is turn to pra for a natural disaster to occur right now. *hen Soong and Files left, ,ear lingered behind and helped with the dishes. BSoong didn$t help at all. The thing about Soong > as sweet as she was to me, she had few domestic skills and wasn$t a ver good mother. She loved &harlie, make no mistake about that, but she had grown up in a brothel and e)perienced not an ounce of mothering herself. She didn$t even know her mother. She was alwa s fascinated when she saw me nurturing m kids and she ran off and copied me a lot, which was great for little &harlie.C /fter ,ear and # finished with the dishes, we put the kids to sleep, including little /m and moved to the balcon where we sat and chatted for hours. 1ight, flirt banter. 6So what$s our real name89 # asked. 6Iuess.9 # chuckled. 6*olf89 7e grinned. 6&lose. F name is Shane Shaw.9 6&hainsaw8 7e , that$s an awesome name<9 6(unn <9 he said, his e es crinkling. 6*ell, nice to meet ou Shane.9 6The pleasure$s all mine,9 he said in a sh voice. *e chatted some more and when # looked at the time, it was N /F. 6# guess # should leave ou,9 ,ear said. 6# guess # should go to sleep or m little monsters will get me up at E tomorrow morning.9 +eluctantl we stood up. 6.o ou want to leave /m here8 She$s sound asleep.9 7e nodded. 6Iood idea. No use waking her up.9 # walked him to the door. 6# had a good time in spite of Soong$s tell all,9 he said. *e both chuckled. 6Now we$re even,9 # said. 6Iuess we are.9 *e smiled at each other. 7e scratched the back of his neck, then cracked a few knuckles. 6*ould ou :would ou like to go to like :out sometimes8 1ike dinner8 'r ma be :89 6-es. # would like to go to dinner, ,ear.9 6'h, oka then. That$s good. Ireat. 0m:ne)t Saturda , then8 'r is it too soon89 6Ne)t Saturda will be great. #$m on the shelf at the moment so #$ve no plans.9 67undred percent,9 he said imitating Soong. *e both cracked up laughing. 6*ell goodnight prett lad ,9 he said, then tipped m nose. 6Night, ,ear,9 # gushed feeling like a teenager. /lone in m bed, m mind drifted to ,ear. 7e was sweet. *arm and :easy. # was looking forwards to Saturda night with him. Eas :what a nice word. Eas .

Chapter #ine
To m disappointment, # didn$t see ,ear again all week. # found m self craning m neck and looking around for him, but # assumed that he was out working somewhere. *hen # did see him at m door on Saturda night, # gasped. 7e was clean shaven, his moustache was gone, his hair was cut short and neatl st led. 7is clothes > dark pants, blue and white striped shirt and black shoes. 7e looked so handsome, # couldn$t believe it was the same homeless"man creature. #n front of me was a hunk. Totall . K*ow<9 # said before # could stop m self. 6-ou look :.nice.9 7e blushed. 6T:hanks as red crept all over his handsome face. 7e ushered me into a cab. K-ou dressed up for me89 # asked in the back of the cab. #n the dark # could still see him blush. 6Fa be.9 7e looked at me. 6-eah, # did. # wanted ou to like me.9 # laughed. *e travelled for almost fort five minutes to a lovel restaurant with a fireplace. # could see wh he travelled so far and obviousl paid a fortune for the cab. The restaurant was small and cos and memorable. The food was home"st le, more like soul"food and the service was personal. The wait"staff referred to him b name. ,ear and # talked, argued and laughed all through dinner and # couldn$t believe how time flew. # drank more than # usuall did and en!o ed the feeling of busting loose. #t appeared like he too didn$t want the evening to end. /s we left the restaurant, he took m hand in his. # liked it. # liked the roominess and the warmth of his touch. So different from Tom$s touch. Ever thing about ,ear made me feel comfortable and safe, and in the ta)i # found m self seated reall close to him with our thighs touching. #t had been a while since # had been with a man and # was nervous about that aspect > ou know the ph sical intimac . B# hated se) remember8C 7owever, with ,ear, to m surprise # found m self wondering what it would be like to kiss him. *hat it would be like to lie in his arms. *hat it would feel like to make love to a hunk like him. Tom was a smaller gu , not a hunk, !ust a well"put together kind of gu , who most women found attractive. ,ear was big and beef and someone ou could cuddle with. Eas . *hen we reached our building and got into the elevator, he held onto m hand, then made a show of e)amining it, before he kissed the back of it. So sweet. *e went on to e)change a series of sh smiles. /t m door, # turned to him. 6# had a great time tonight, ,ear,9 # whispered mindful of -ang, the bab "sitter waiting inside m apartment. 6# had a phenomenal time,9 he said. 6# would like to do it again.9 # nodded. 7e leaned his face slowl down towards mine. # held m breath. Ientl , without touching me with his hand, he pressed his full lips against mine. So soft, so brief, et so delightful and head . 6Ioodnight beautiful,9 he whispered, his lips lingering over mine. 6Nite, ,ear,9 # whispered, before # entered m apartment, disappointed that he didn$t choose to take more from me. 'r ask for it. OOOO The ne)t time we went out, he drove us in his ;eep. *e had dinner at a local restaurant, then watched The (ast and the (urious. *hen we arrived back home, he killed the engine in the

apartment parking lot, then turned to me and kissed me. Slowl at first, then urgentl and # couldn$t believe how turned on # was. This was so unlike me. # mean # hated se), # hated intimac , et # wanted ,ear. ,adl . So much so that we necked for almost half an hour in the car in the dark. 7e wanted me, # could tell, and # liked how he wanted me. 6# have something to tell ou,9 he said between kisses. #mmediatel alarm bells gonged in m head and # tried to pull awa , but his face sta ed put, anchoring mine. 6*hat is it89 6# have to go awa for si) weeks.9 # stared at him in the dark. 6Si) weeks8 *h 89 Slowl , he ran his fingers through his hair. 6/re ou : please tell me that ou$re not still married, ,ear89 7e moved awa , back into his seat. %lease don$t let him sa K es,$ # silentl pra ed. 6#$m like ou, /rena > separated. No chance of reconciliation whatsoever. ,ut that$s not it > #$m going on assignment.9 (or some reason, # didn$t believe him. # straightened up m top, pulled down m skirt, smoothed down m hair, with him watching all the while. 6(ine.9 # opened the door and let m disappointed self out. 67e , wait<9 he rushed around to me and took me in his arms. /fter s=ueezing me to him for a few moments, he kissed m unresponsive lips once more, then led me to the elevator. 6# need to be honest with ou, et # can$t. # !ust need ou to trust me.9 6#$d be l ing if # sa # can, ,ear.9 # punched in ke s in the elevator. 6That$s how # lost m wife and child,9 he said to m back, his voice melanchol . # swung around to look at him, highbrows high up into m fringe. 6'ne da # came home and all # found was a note. She said she couldn$t take this lonel life an more and that she was moving on.9 The elevator stopped and we get out. 6,ut # have to do what # have to do. #$m committed to it.9 6# get it,9 # said in a stiff voice. 6Thank ou for the lovel :9 7e grabbed me around the waist and turned me to him. 6/rena, don$t< 1et me e)plain, oka 89 # didn$t answer. 6%lease89 6(ine.9 7e !erked his head towards his apartment. # started to shake m head. 6#$m not going to touch ou. %romise. # !ust wanna e)plain.9 +eluctantl # put awa m door ke s and he opened his apartment door. # was surprised at his apartment > it was more spacious than # thought it was, and it was full furnished in modern black leather couches and black and white striped cushions. ,ig TL, lots of audio stuff and gadgets. / bit untid too > a real man cave for sure. / peak into his bedroom from where # stood revealed his unmade bed. /s # said, a manl apartment, but comf . 7e slipped his arm around m waist again and crushed me to him. 6-ou said ou wasn$t going to :9 7e gave me a naught smile. 6'ne li$l kiss,9 he whispered and captured m mouth with his. Trouble was, # liked his kiss far too much. /fter allowing him to kiss m lips, m neck and m shoulders, # reluctantl pushed him awa and # have to tell ou, it took ever ounce of willpower to do that. 6'ka ,9 he said, getting out wine glasses and pouring us a glass of red each. 7e sat me on the couch, then sat ne)t to me, once again our bodies touching. 6#$m not !ust plainclothes > #$m undercover as well. # en!o ed m work until # got married and had a bab . Then it didn$t work. ,ut # wasn$t able to !ust walk awa from m !ob, and Sarah, m wife, well :let$s !ust sa # didn$t blame her. 6

# took a sip of m wine. 6# plan to =uit as # want a normal life. #t was unfair to bring a girl into m life with m !ob, so # didn$t date. Then ou came along and ou were all over me.9 6*haaat8<9 7e grinned. 6*ining and dining me, wanting me so much:9 # smiled and he cupped m cheek with his large hand. 6This is m last assignment. /fter this it$s all over.9 6-eah8 *hen do ou leave89 6#n three weeks$ time89 6*here to89 7e shook his head and tucked m hair behind m ears. 6&an$t tell ou, bab .9 # liked being called bab b him. Tom didn$t do endearing, so it was new to me. 6'ka , # get it.9 7e reached for m glass, placed it on the table and took me in his arms. 6# reall like ou. Tell me ou will be there when # get back. # reall want ou, /rena. ,adl .9 6,ear, look, # have to think about it. #$m sorr , # can$t give ou the answer ou want. 9 7is disappointment was tangible. Slowl he released me, his shoulders slumping. 6/nd besides, #$m reall unable to commit to an thing as it$s wa too soon for me.9 7e nodded slowl . 6Thanks for the lovel evening,9 # said as # walked to the door. 7e watched me silentl , didn$t tr to stop me. # opened the door and left. #n bed that night, # stared at the ceiling in the dark. *ell, that$s that, # supposed. No wa was # going to sit around and wait for some gu who spun me a long stor about going awa for si) weeks and he couldn$t tell me where :# wasn$t bu ing it. # had some serious living to do and # was going to do it. 0nfortunatel , #$d have to shake off ,ear. %it . # en!o ed his compan and how eas he was. Eas . *hat a nice world. 'h, but # said that alread . %it .

Chapter $en
The ne)t morning, we awoke to persistent knocking. 6/rena<9 ,ear$s voice. /larmed, # threw open the door. 6*hat is it89 6#t$s a beautiful da and we$re going on a picnic,9 he said, lifting up a picnic basket to show me, his e es travelling slowl up and down m sleep shorts and skimp vest. 6Iet the kids and let$s go.9 6,ut :but:9 6No buts,9 he said. 6# have three weeks with ou gu s and # am going to make it count. 6#$ve got bacon and eggs, cheeses and all sorts of stuff that$s bad for ou. *e$re going to have breakfast in a beautiful spot, whether ou like it or not. /fter we pick up /m .9 7e smacked me on the butt. 6Fove it<9 *ithin an hour, we had bab Sasha$s car seat strapped into his ;eep, *arren buckled up ne)t to /m and we were heading to this great picnic spot near some natural waterfall in the 7awksbur area that he promised would take m breath awa . /nd it did. *hile # took in the amazing scener , he made us bacon and eggs and even coffee. #nsisted # put m feet up and rela) while he took care of things. # loved looking at him > without his beard and moustache, he looked so different, se) and # found m self loving all the kisses we sneaked. Especiall the deep intimate ones, where he slipped his hands under m top and caressed m breasts when the kids weren$t looking. #t melted me in places # didn$t know could melt and # wanted more. # got to see a ver goof side of him as he romped with *arren and /m . 7e wrestled with them, then dangled them b their ankles, then acted like ?ing ?ong and the kids loved it. Even bab Sasha cooed at him and responded to his voice. # loved the wa he interacted with m son and all thoughts of dumping him and going on with m life evaporated. *hen it was time for us to return, the kids were sleep but happ . /t !ust about ever red traffic light, he lean in for a =uick kiss. ,ack at the apartment, # bathed the kids and put them to bed while ,ear made us a stir fr . /fter a =uick shower, # slipped on a top and a pair of shorts and went into the kitchen onl to find that ,ear wasn$t there. The food was almost done and cooking on low. Finutes later he rushed in with two bottles of wine. 6*hat did # miss89 6*here do go89 6Shower. # felt all ick stick .9 6Snap< # showered too,9 # said as # stirred the pot on the stove. 7e walked up to me, slipped his arms around m waist and nuzzled m neck. 6-ou smell good,9 he whispered then kissed m neck, making me weak at the knees. 6So do ou,9 # said and turned around to slide m arms around his neck. 6#t$s m aftershave. #t$s as awesome as me.9 # laughed and stroked his face. # like this.9 6-eah89 6-eah, a lot.9 6# have to grow m beard again, ou know.9 6*h did ou shave it89 7e !erked back. 6*h 8 # wanted to impress ou with m prett face. *anted ou to see me and sa , K*ow, he$s so cool, so handsome.$9 # laughed and hugged him tighter. 6# did. # think ou$re ver cool. /nd handsome.9 6/w shucks, ou sa the nicest things, Fiss $+ena. 7e swooped down and gave me a deep and lingering kiss.

# wrapped m arms around tighter around his neck and angled m head for more of his kisses and # was amazed at !ust how turned on # was b him. *hen it came to Tom, # was never ever turned on. Not once, or # would have remembered it. 7e alwa s led and # followed. 1et me rephrase that > he dictated and demanded and of course, # did as he ordered. ,ut now, # have the urge to drag ,ear into the bedroom and fuck the da lights out of him. *ell, it was night time so it would be nightlights. /s his tongue probed m eager mouth, his eager hands moved to m breasts. # sighed and slipped m hands under his t"shirt and stroked his muscular back. 7is response was to groan into m mouth and press his hips to mine. 7e was such a se) man that # was embarrassed to feel a silkiness between m thighs almost immediatel . #t had been a while since # had been with a man and # felt untouched. So to have him touch me that wa was pleasant and # wanted more. Turning off the stove, # took his hand and led to m diml lit bedroom. Slowl , # removed his shirt and tossed it behind me. # kissed him broad chest, his neck and his soft mouth. 7e moved to take off his belt, but # stopped him. 67ere, #$m in charge cop"man,9 # whispered. 6-ou do as # sa or # will handcuff ou to that bedrail, hear me89 7is e es lit up. Slowl , with m e es on his, # undid his belt. Then, with m tongue in his mouth, # slowl unzipped his !eans and pushed it down his long muscular legs. Ientl , # caressed his hips, his thighs, his butt but stopped short of his erection which was huge and d ing to be sprung. # must sa , this power that # was fle)ing right now, made me feel, well, powerful. (or the first time # was in control and # found it a huge turn"on. 7is groans spurned me on even more. 6,ab , please:9 # smiled. 6%atience :9 7e didn$t do patience, evidentl > he grabbed me, tore off m top, unhooked m bra and freed m breasts into his waiting hands. 6(uck< -ou$re beautiful,9 he whispered. 7e kneaded them softl before he sucked on them, one at a time. *ith a deep sigh of pleasure, m head fell back. 7is flaming kisses travelled all over m breasts, m neck, down m stomach and on m thighs. # caught m breath when he kissed me between them, the flims fabric of m silk panties and shorts offering little protection from the heat of his urgent kiss. # didn$t want him to stop, but he did, onl to ank down m shorts. 7e pushed me onto the bed and climbed over me. 6(uck, # want ou,9 he whispered. 6Now, please<9 # responded b tugging down his underpants and freeing his purple erection. /t the same time, he rolled down m panties and slipped his fingers between m thighs. /s his fingers went deeper inside of me, # grabbed the length of his shaft and ran m hands over it. *ith an agonizing moan he parted m thighs and drove deep into me. # felt ever inch of his length and reveled in it. Never before had # e)perienced such pleasure and # wanted it to last, to savour ever moment and to e)ist as one for as long as possible. #t felt like # was rebelling, having casual se), making all the moves. # mean, we hadn$t talked about monogam and love and commitment all that shit > important shit as et, so it was all causal, something foreign to me. -et, # didn$t care > # wanted him and # was taking him because # felt like it. 1iberating much8 -ou bet. 7e withdrew from me, then turned me around and took me from behind. /s he thrust inside of me, he reached around to grab m swinging breasts. 6Fan, ou$re beautiful<9 he whispered over and over and # felt as beautiful as &leopatra then. /fter a while, he flipped me around again and shoved me onto m back, then entered me again. *ith his tongue in m mouth and his dick deep inside of me, we e)isted as one again.

7e was in control for sure, but it was different from Tom. 7e was firm and loving, giving, and # welcomed his moves, loved ever moment of it. /s he twitched inside of me, # felt a million tin bubbles e)plode inside of me. # grabbed onto his shoulders and let out a long sigh as m bod shuddered with relief. F first orgasm during the deed. # was surprised that # could actuall orgasm with a man. # never thought it was possible. Then those firm muscular thighs took over and rocked m bod till he e)ploded deep inside of me. Slick with sweat, we la in each other$s arms and grinned. 6(uck<9 he said. 6#$m at a loss for words.9 6.itto<9 *e laughed and kissed lightl . 6There$s dinner,9 # reminded him. 6-eah, but # want seconds.9 # knew that he was not talking about dinner. 6/nd thirds.9 # laughed and pushed him off me. .inner was =uick and we hurried to get back to bed for seconds. ,ear spent the night in m arms. Thereafter, he spent ever night in m apartment, in m arms. *arren and Sasha adored him and the moment he entered the apartment, the were all over him. 7e loved it and was alwa s bu ing them presents. # suspected that he was lonel and liked the famil set"up that # had. /m , his daughter, spent more and more time with him and we became a famil . So much so that he asked me to move in with him. ,ut # wasn$t read for that. # was en!o ing m freedom and didn$t want to surrender to him, which is what would have happened had # moved into his apartment. Iuess # was still war and scared of men. 7is assignment was postponed for some reason, to our absolute delight. #t meant that we had another month together. Then again to our delight it was dela ed. *e could hardl believe our luck. /nother month together with !ust two weekends awa from us due to meetings in Mueensland and Felbourne. *e treasured ever moment together. 7is generosit was astounding. # no longer had to be frugal and cautious about bills. *ithout me asking, he !ust took care of ever thing > groceries, utilities, clothes, petrol > he took care of ever thing and # felt unbelievable relief. 7e was old"fashioned in that wa > didn$t want a woman to pa . 7e even gave me a credit card and insisted # use it. # did, because # had to. /m $s mother was dating a ounger gu who wasn$t into kids. This bothered ,ear, so /m spent more and more time with us and that made ,ear feel complete. # of course, welcomed her with open arms > she became one of m children and we became a famil of five. *e were driving the kids to the beach and at a red traffic light, ,ear stopped and looked at me. 6*hat89 7e took m hand, kissed it and placed it on his chest. 6# love ou,9 he whispered. 6# love ou,9 # mouthed as tears of happiness filled m e es. 7e smiled and leaned in for a tender kiss. The lights changed so we pulled awa and drove on. /t the ne)t traffic lights, he leaned towards me again. 6.on$t ever go awa , /rena. Sta with me forever.9 # smiled and hugged him. #magine, a few months on m own and # was alread in love with a wonderful man. /nd :a wonderful man loved me. Ever da with ,ear was better than the last.

Seemed like m life had finall come together. # had lived through a terrible storm for ears and # had managed to survive it onl to find m rainbow. 7ow cool was that. 7ow luck was #8 1ife was good. Strike that, life was simpl great.

Chapter Eleven
Still no word from Tom about seeing our kids. 7is silence made me uneas , # had to admit. ,ut it was better to let the dog sleep, so # did. /s for Files and Soong > the moved in together shortl after Soong graduated from beaut school. Files set Soong up in her own beaut and massage studio and :the ask me to do all their accounting< 'f course # was thrilled. # helped Soong out a lot with &harlie so that she could work the e)tra hours and build her business. She in turned bab sat for me when # needed to run errands. Sometimes, # helped out at reception while Sasha pla ed on the floor with her to s. # got her an advert in the local newspaper and a little free editorial which got Soong$s phone ringing. She was thrilled. # reall loved Soong and # would have done an thing to help her succeed. OOOO 6This will be m last assignment, # promise,9 ,ear said to m morose face. The da had finall come and he was leaving. # was close to tears at the thought of being without him for si) weeks. 7ow would # manage8 7ow would # sleep without him when we slept entwined in each other for the last four months8 *hat do # sa to m kids when the ask for him8 The had grown so fond of him and wouldn$t allow him out of their sight. 7is bond with *arren was particularl strong. 7e placed his palms on either side of m face and looked into m tear"filled e es. 6#$ll ask for a transfer, we$ll get married, we$ll bu a house, and bab and, we will be happ . Trust me. # don$t want to fuck up what we have. # haven$t been this happ and complete in ears. # need ou, understand8 # need ou all. # like this Kus$. # don$t wanna come home if there is no Kus$.9 # nodded, then hugged him. 6# love ou, ,ear,9 # whispered. 6%lease come back to me. .on$t let an thing happen to ou. # couldn$t bear it.9 6Nothing$s gonna happen, bab , but if an thing does, ou contact &aptain *arner, oka 8 7e$ll tr to get word to me. .on$t talk to an one else about me, !ust him.9 %arting was trul sweet sorrow > # hugged him and cried buckets as we said goodb e. *hen he left, the apartment felt empt and # felt an overwhelming sense of loss. #t was a light had gone out. # could hardl wait for his return. OOOO /bout a week after # said goodb e to ,ear, Sasha, who was almost a ear, had developed an ear infection and although she was on antibiotics, she was unable to sleep at night and therefore crank as hell. # drove her to the doctor, who immediatel referred me to an ear specialist. Sasha cried all the wa to the ear specialist and all the wa back home. ;ust screamed her lungs out in the back of m car. 6Sasha, mumm is going to stop the car !ust now, darling,9 # chanted, as # navigated m ,F* through school"hour traffic to pick up m *arren. The heat didn$t help > a scorching thirt "five degrees. # was hot and e)hausted from not sleeping for three nights and # had dark rings around m e es to prove it. 6Fumm is going to carr ou !ust now, m bab . ;ust hang in there.9 She continued screaming.

(eeling rattled b her screaming and close to tears m self, # turned m car into *arrimoo /venue, St #ves, the Suburb of *arren$s school, the suburb # fled months ago. To avoid more turmoil in his life, # had kept *arren in his pre"school. 1ess than five blocks down from his preschool was a small string of shops which # needed to visit to get milk, bread and a bottle of cold water for *arren. #t was a routine for me to stop at the shops before # picked up *arren. # pulled into the parking lot onl to find that there was no parking. .amn< ,ehind me, Sasha continued screaming. 61emmee sing ou a song sweetheart,9 # said and lapsed into #nc winc spider. Nothing doing > she screamed louder so # shut up. (razzled, # drummed m fingers on the steering wheel while # waited for someone to pull out of a parking space. 6;ust now, m darling, hang in there.9 / long five minutes, mercifull , a Ferc pulled out directly in front of the little grocer # needed to visit. +elieved, # maneuvered m ,F* into the cramped parking space. # cut the engine, scrambled out of the car and opened the back door to take out Sasha. # balked when # saw her fast asleep. (or a few moments, # stared at m bab who hadn$t slept all night. F dilemma > if # got her up, she would scream her head off again. #f # let her sleep, # wouldn$t be able to get m bread, milk and water. &ould # possibl leave her in the car while # ran in8 # looked at the supermarket > it$s entrance was about ten feet awa from m car. (rom where the e)press till cashier sat, she had a clear view of m car. The milk fridge was right ne)t to the cashier. The bread shelf was opposite the cashier. # gauged and calculated > # would be able to dart into the supermarket, grab bread and milk, pa for the stuff, all the while, never taking m e es off the car. %robabl all in si)t seconds8 The searing heat forced me to make a =uick decision. # turned on the ignition, which turned on the aircon and shut the car door. %urse in hand, # raced up to the shop, grabbed the milk and water, scooped up a loaf of bread and in less than si)t seconds, was in line at the cashier. # looked at m car again. /ll was oka . So far so good. #t was a =uiet neighbourhood and nothing bad ever happened there. F mone was in m hand to speed up pa ment, and there were onl two people in front of me standing in line to pa . This should go =uickl , # thought. The old woman in front of me holding a can of cat food turned and smiled at me. # smiled back at her before m e es shifted back to the car. # would have to wake up Sasha again when # went to pick up *arren, a thought # dreaded. # e)pected her to be furious at me for getting her up, but # would have no choice but to wake her up then. 67ot, isn$t it89 cat food lad said. 6-eah,9 # said in a tone that did not encourage conversation. # !ust wanted her to pa for her stuff and move out of the wa . She did, to m relief. Took her cat food, her change and shuffled awa . # paid for m bread and milk and took a step forward. /t that particular moment, the old woman with the cat food lost her balance and stumbled backwards into me, dropping her cat food and her loose change that she held in her hand. Normall # would not hesitate to help, but # glanced at m car and decided, not toda > let someone else do it. Nobod did. She was so old > how could # possibl not help her8 Sighing, # turned back and scrambled to pick up the cat food and change for the lad . 6Thank ou so much,9 she gushed. 6Thank ou, thank ou.9 6-ou$re welcome,9 # mumbled as # picked up her coins from around her feet. # stuffed them in her hands and turned back to m car. #t was gone.

# blinked rapidl . The parking space directl outside the grocer where # had parked m car was empt . # looked around, craning m neck for a silver ,F* GE. Nothing. 6'h Iod<9 .ropping m bread, milk and water, # ran up and down the parking lot looking for m car. Fa be # parked somewhere else8 # hadn$t slept in three nights so ma be # had got the parking ba s mi)ed up. ,ut there were onl twelve parking ba s in the parking lot and none of them had m car with m precious bab in it. 6/re ou oka 89 a woman pushing a stroller asked. *ith both m hands on m head, # choked out the words, 6Someone stole m car<9 # grabbed her arm, 6%lease help me< &all the police.9 6-our car89 / group of teenagers congregated around me. 6&all 333 please<9 # begged, as # struggle to breathe. 6F bab , she$s in the car< 'h Iod< 'h Iod< 'h Iod<9 1ike a deranged woman, # ran up and down the street and then back to the empt parking space # had parked in. ,ut m car, with m bab was gone. Stolen in broad da light. OOOO 6#t$s m e)"husband,9 # told the female cop as # sat on the sidewalk outside the grocer and rocked. 6#t$s him. # !ust know it. #t$s him. %lease believe me, it$s him.9 #t was a boiling hot da , et # felt chills. 6'ka , ma$am, we are looking into it,9 she said in a kind voice. (our detectives arrived and took over from the cops. 6Fa$am #$m detective Tims,9 a man in his fifties, with a striped shirt and a fatherl voice said. 6This here is m partner .etective 7unter.9 # glanced briefl at the man standing ne)t to .etective Tims, watching me with hooded e es, almost suspiciousl . 6Now, we know that ou$ve probabl told a dozen people or so what happened, but please, # need ou to tell us. 6 6#t$s m e),9 # said, 6he did this. Trust me, he did. # know he did, detective.9 6'ka , so tell us about it and what happened.9 # press both palms to m tired e es before # tell them m stor . 6*here is our son now89 67e$s with a friend > one of his school friend$s mum.9 6Tell us about our husband.9 6Soon to be e),9 # said. 67is name is Tom ,otha and he did this, .etective. *e :he:he$s been abusive to me and when he started taking it out on m son, # left him. Foved into a woman$s shelter one night :got help from various sources and for the last si) months #$ve been living in an apartment.9 6*hat kind of work do ou do89 6# am a part"time accountant > work from home.9 # looked at him with pleading e es. 6%lease look for m bab . %lease<9 6Fa$am, ever cop in S dne is looking out for it and our bab .9 7e pointed to the sk . 67ear that89 # nodded at the whirr of a helicopter. # wrapped m arms tightl around m bod and rocked. 6#t$s been two hours:9 6*e aren$t going home until we find our child. +est assured.9 / female officer crouched in front of me with a cup of water in her hand and the detectives stepped awa from me. 6#s there an one # can call for ou8 (amil members :89

6/ll m famil is in South /frica. %lease call Soong and Files. The $re m friends. # gave them m phone to get Soong$s number. 6/n one else # can call89 # gave them (atima from the support group number and the called her too. 6.o ou have a bo friend89 6-es, but he$s awa .9 6/wa 89 # nodded. 67e$s an undercover. ,ear Shaw. /ctuall , his real name is Shane Shaw. # don$t know where he$s right now:he couldn$t tell me but : ou gu s will know.9 6'ka , we will look into it.9 6Tell him # need him please.9 She nodded. # grabbed her arm. 67e did this. F e) Tom, he vowed that he was going to hurt me because # left him. 7e promised on the life of m children that he would. Swore.9 She nodded slowl , then gentl e)tracted m arm off her arm. /bout thirt minutes later she returned to me. 6-our e)"husband is in South /frica, /rena. 7e left two da s ago and he$s due back tomorrow on the 2%F flight.9 # looked at her in disbelief. 6That can$t :9 6*e contacted his offices, confirmed that he did indeed board a flight to South /frica. Even obtained footage of him boarding the plane. *e checked his credit card with the bank > showed a string of activit in &ape Town over the last two hours.9 F head lolled. 7ow could that be8 # was so sure it was him. 67e$s ruled out as a person of interest, /rena. Now #$m taking ou home.9 She gets to her feet. 6No< # wanna sta here<9 F conscience bludgeoned at me and # felt that if # had left that parking ba , # would be leaving Sasha behind. #t didn$t make sense, but # was no longer pla ing with a full deck. 6*e$re arranging a press conference for ou to appeal to the person who took our car.9 6%ress conference8 'ka , fine. 1et$s go.9 # !umped to m feet, eager to plead to whoever it was that had Sasha.

Chapter $welve
To m disma , # cried so much at the press conference, that # was convinced # had done a bad !ob with m appeal. Talking about Sasha was so painful that # broke down at the ver beginning of the conference and could barel string sentences together. 6#$m so sorr ,9 # said to the cops after the press conference. 6No, ou$re alright,9 the said. 6-ou$re human. #t$s understandable. 1et$s get ou home.9 'n m wa home, in the back seat of a patrol car, m mind drifted to Tom$s parting words, 6# will make ou pa for this, /rena,9 he had said in a clear concise and meaningful voice. 6#n the worst possible wa . -ou will live to regret this. ;ust ou wait and see. Nobod crosses me. Nobod .9 *orst possible wa ... 7e was behind this. 7e had to be. Nobod could tell me differentl , # knew it for a fact. # closed m e es and leaned m wear head against the window. #mages of Sasha$s beautiful face, her charming smile flashed in m mind and despair washed over me. # tried so hard not to think of her in the dark somewhere, cr ing, calling for me. Sta strong, sta calm, positive thoughts > when she sees ou again, she will forget her scar ordeal, # told m self. *e arrived at m apartment in 7ornsb where Soong, Files, (atima and some other residents from the building # had befriended awaited me, all with worried looks on their faces. # held onto Soong and Files and wept. OOOO # was unable to eat, unable to sleep and simpl unable to concentrate. Two female cops sta ed behind in case it turned out to be a kidnapping and ransom became an issue. The sent ever one home e)cept Soong who did her best to comfort me. 6Iet some rest while ou can,9 the officer said. # tried but # could not sleep. #nstead # la in bed with *arren and thought about Sasha. # managed to dose for about twent minutes, then # was up again to give *arren his breakfast. *hen # saw the two detectives saunter into m apartment at around P /F, unshaven and looking like the $ve been up all night, # knew it was news. # threw down m dishtowel and rushed up to them. 6.id ou find:89 .etective Tims nodded slowl . 6Fa$am, we found :we found the car and Sasha :ma$am she was in :9 6'h thank Iod< # have to give her an antibio:9 6Fa$am, #$m afraid, she didn$t make it.9 6*ha:89 *hat on earth were the talking about8 6Fa$am, Sasha didn$t make it. 6*hat do ou :89 # threw out m palms. 61ike, what do ou mean89 /s he e)plained, # heard a deafening roar in m ears, like that of a waterfall. # got onl parts of what the are sa ing. 6:theor :thief realized :bab in the car:abandoned :heat :too much in the car :so sorr :9 Someone in the room was screaming h stericall . Fe.

Chapter $hirteen
The sa words cannot describe the pain ou suffer when ou lose a child. # believe that words can, so #$m going to tr . #t$s like shards of broken glass, !agged pieces surrounding our heart and ever time ou breathe, the stab viciousl at our heart. #t$s like ou are constantl swallowing sea sand. -our throat is dr as the Sahara and almost swollen. #t$s like ever one is talking at once but no sound escapes their lips. #t$s like being on a carousel at the fair and it$s spinning at 433 kilometers an hour, almost out of control. # wanted to die, curl up and !ust let the life ebb out of me. ,ut # had *arren to think about. F life became a blur and # welcomed it. # didn$t want clarit now, it was !ust too painful. ,ut unfortunatel m blur didn$t last. 'nce the cloak of numbness deserted me, a Niagra of tears prevailed. Even when # was asleep, tears cascaded down m cheeks. # wanted m mother > but she couldn$t get a visa due to her health. # wanted ,ear, but : OOOO # was a suspect in the death of m child. # understood this, accepted it and answered all the ridiculous =uestions the asked over and over again. # accepted blame for m part in Sasha$s death. *hat # did was stupid, careless and fatal. # was a bad mother, an unfit one who deserved to be punished. 7urt me, # deserve it. 'f course # consented to a pol graph > # had nothing to hide, and all # wanted was for them to rule me out as a suspect, so that the could go after the monster who stole m car, then abandoned the car in a =uiet side street and left m child to bake in it. Fultiple organ failure was the cause of her death. 7er tin bod was too delicate to handle the oven she was left it. 'n top of all of this, # worried about Tom. *as he going to take awa *arren8 .eclare me an unfit parent and petition the courts for full custod 8 Then punish me b never allowing *arren to see me again8 *hat do # do if that happens8 The thought freaked me out further and # kept *arren close. *hen a policewoman visited, she said, 6-ou husband has arrived in S dne and he would like to see both of ou to discuss funeral arrangements.9 # nodded and bit m nails. # was so not looking forwards to seeing him and e)pressed m fears to the policewoman. 6*e can do this at the police station if ou$re not comfortable here,9 she said. 6# don$t want him to know where # live.9 ,ecause Sasha died in m ,F*, the police took m car for evidence and forensics, so # no longer had a car. ,ut the police were more than happ to drive me to the police station for m meeting with Tom. #n fact, the police were wonderful in ever sense of the word. Tom was at the police station when *arren and # arrived. Taking a deep breath, # braced m self for the finger"pointing from him. ,raced m self for the barrage of accusations coming m wa 5 6-ou reall fucked things up didn$t ou89 6This is what ou do when #$m not around89

6So much for independence and all that shit ou wanted.9 6This would never have happened if # was in control.9 6(reedom8 +eall 8 This is what it brings89 6*hat a neglectful mother ou are.9 6-ou killed our bab . -'0<9 6+ela),9 Sargent Smith said sensing m nervousness. 6*e$re going to be in the room, so if an thing happens :9 # nodded and put a hand over m bloodshot e es. 67e$s going to be livid. 'h Iod<9 6*e can handle him, /rena. *e do this all the time. .on$t ou worr about a thing. *e know his t pe.9 67e$s prett charismatic, be warned. 7e$ll win ou over.9 67a< *e$ll see about that. / woman with a bab and a toddler doesn$t walk awa from a life of lu)ur unless he is a monster.9 /ppreciating what she said and encouraged b Sargent Smith$s words, # made m wa to Tom. # was reall surprised at the wa Tom looked > red"e ed, two"da "old stubble, hair disheveled, mismatched clothes > highl unusual as he was such a neat freak. #mmaculate all the time. 'bsessive about his appearance. 6/rena<9 he cried, a look of distress on his face. 6# am so sorr .9 7e threw his arms around me and hugged me. # stood stiff in his embrace as all four officers looked on, their hands on their pepper spra s. No reproach, no abuse, no gloating from Tom. 7e actuall , to m astonishment, appeared distraught, broken and didn$t tr to staunch his flow of tears. #$d never seen him cr before and in spite of ever thing, # was moved b his tears. 7e too had lost a child, no matter what a monster he was. 7e was happ when # got pregnant with her, remember8 # was the one who was disma ed with the pregnanc . +elieved, # reall appreciated the fact that he wasn$t blasting me for m error of !udgment. %utting our differences aside, we cried together over the loss of our precious bab . +eleasing me, he scooped *arren into his arms, sank into a chair and wept some more. To me, who knew him so well, he looked like a man in mourning and as # watched him, confusion mushroomed inside of me. *as # wrong8 Even more confusing > m instincts which # had come to rel on, was telling me that # was not wrong 6.add loves ou so much,9 he whispered to *arren. (rom the corner of m e es, # noticed the officers e)change surprised looks, then looks of at s mpath at Tom. *e discussed funeral arrangements without a single accusation. # wept throughout our conversation. Talking about flowers and coffins for our bab would break an parent$s heart and Iod knows mine was in pieces alread . 6#$ll take care of ever thing,9 he whispered, taking m hand in his. 6.on$t worr about a thing.9 # nodded, grateful that he still hasn$t fired a single bullet of blame m wa . 6-ou don$t have a car an more,9 he pointed out. 6#$ll arrange the Ferc for ou to use.9 # couldn$t believe that he was so helpful. 6T:thanks.9 7e released m hand and walked over to talk to the police officers standing around. Through m grief, # noticed him talk to ever one one of the officers, mentioning them b name and when the nodded and smiled at him, prickles of alarm shot through me. # knew Tom$s F' > win them over, one"b "one. &harm, then disarm. That$s Tom, his charm is part of his arsenal. Slowl , but definitel .

Fost alarming was 'fficer Smith > she appeared to be hanging onto his ever word. She$s the one who talked to me earlier on about how a women with a bab and a toddler won$t leave a lap of lu)ur unless there was a real problem. 6F wife is a great mother,9 # heard Tom sa , loud enough for me to hear. / small chuckle from him. 6$cuse me if # still sa KF wife.$ #$ve never dated another woman, so in m mind, she$s still m wife and the $re still m famil . Sill , # know.9 6'h, no, no, we understand,9 Sargent Smith said. # was prett sure that after the policemen and policewomen met Tom, the thought differentl of me > that # bullshitted them about Tom. %robabl thought that # left him because # wanted to pla the field. 7ow =uickl did # get a bo friend8 *hat the saw was a man broken over the loss of his child, et he treated me his errant and neglectful wife with utmost love and respect. *ho wouldn$t gravitate towards him8 # heard a detective ask him to take a lie detector test. *ould he8 # held m breath as # waited for his answer. 6Sure. /bsolutel .9 # couldn$t believe how readil he agreed to take the test. *as # so wrong about Tom8 The police thanked him and arranged it that same afternoon. /n wa , # was hopeful > the pol graph would show deception > if he was involved with the death of Sasha. ,ecause deep down, # knew that he was. To m utter astonishment, he passed the test. # was floored. 7ow was that possible8 # no longer knew which side was up. Even more confusing, Tom went on TL and offered a hundred thousand dollar reward for information leading to the arrest and conviction of the murderer of our bab < *as that the actions of a guilt person8 #f # was wrong, then # was committing a terrible sin > accusing an innocent father of a most heinous crime ever > murdering his child. &alling him a monster. #magine if # was accused of killing Sasha8 # was a suspect, true, but imagine if # was wrongfull charged with Sasha$s death8 7ow would # feel8 So, if Tom wasn$t responsible for the death of our bab , then who was8 #f it was someone else, then # had one more person in m life to hate, but m gut told me otherwise >nagged me like a persistent gastric ulcer. #t was Tom. ,ut that was onl my suspicion. Ever one else$s e es were now on this bo friend of mine who couldn$t be found and the =uestions darted at me, fast and furious. 7ad ,ear and # been fighting recentl 8 7ad he ever been abusive towards me8 7ad he been abusive towards m children8 7ad # known ,ear before # left Tom8 ,ear was still married8 .id he resent m children, felt that the were in the wa 8 .id he ever threaten to hurt them8 67e$s not like that,9 # e)plained. 67e loves m children and he loves me. 7e$s a wonderful man.9 The e)changed K eah"right$ looks.

Chapter *o+rteen
# became concerned when # heard that nobod could locate ,ear. /fter a few da s, # asked to see &aptain *arner. 7e, for some reason was reluctant to see me. ,ut # persisted and eventuall # was ushered into his office. 6Frs ,otha, #$m reall sorr for our loss.9 6Thank ou.9 6-ou mention a ,ear Shaw.9 # nodded. 6Shane Shaw.9 60nfortunatel , we don$t have an one b that name, #$m afraid.9 6That$s$ because he$s an undercover. %robabl has a different:9 6# know all the undercovers, Frs ,otha, and # know nobod b that name, Fa$am.9 # frowned and scratched the back of m neck. &ould ,ear have given me the wrong details8 *hat the hell was going on8 6# can show ou photos of all our undercovers and ma be ou can identif him89 6Sure.9 7e pulled out an album full of photos and presented them to me. # scanned them all, but none of them were ,ear. # placed a hand on m forehead as confusion reigned over me. 67e has a daughter, /m :89 6.o ou have a vehicle registration, perhaps89 he asked in a s mpathetic voice. # shook m head, feeling the fool that # was. 6# will look into it, check out his apartment and get back to ou. &an # ask that ou please don$t pursue this8 # don$t want to alert this person in an wa .9 /lert him in an wa 8 This person8 *hat the hell was going on8 6Sure.9 The had ,ear wrong. 7e wasn$t the fraud the were making him out to be. 7owever, b the time # left the police station, # felt somewhat duped b ,ear. 7ow did # even know that he was a policeman8 # !ust took his word for it. ,ut he had given me &aptain *arner$s name8 Fa be he gave me the &aptains name not realizing that # would actuall need to contact him. 7ow stupid was #8 7e was probabl married to someone in another state and lead two lives. / candidate for 'prah. Even though # doubted who ,ear reall was, # didn$t believe that he would hurt Sasha. # remember how he held her and how he would kiss her and cheek when she slept and how man soft to s he bu her. 7e adored her. That # believed. /n wa , what does it matter that ,ear was a fraud8 # can$t even think about him with Sasha on m mind right now. # stowed ,ear in the attic of m mind. 1ater, ,ear whoever ou are. 7ow do # describe the funeral8 7eartbreaking. # wanted it to be over. # never wanted to remember Sasha like the wa # saw her > ashen and in a tin white coffin. #t changed me and part of me died with m bab that da . # would never be the same. # remember feeling rage > # wanted to hurt someone. ,adl . Faim, in!ure, slash at them. # !ust wanted to fight. # stood at her grave and closed m e es. Sasha my baby, mummy is so sorry to have hurt you& ' promise you darling, that one day ' will find the person who did this to you and ' will hurt them like they hurt you& ' promise my darling baby& ' love you forever& OOOO

(or three weeks Tom was consistentl wonderful to *arren and me. Sometimes # had to wonder if this was the same man who abused and mistreated both me and m son. *ho grabbed me b the throat and s=ueezed till # saw tin black dots in front of m e es. *ho towered over *arren and smashed a &. with his bare hands, scaring *arren into wetting his pants. *ho mocked *arren and called him names because *arren wore a pull"up to bed. *ho grabbed m phone out of m hands and dropped it into the toilet once, because # was too long on the phone with m mother in South /frica, who had !ust undergone chemotherap . *ho threatened to put *arren out of the balcon in dark if he didn$t stop cr ing. /s # said, it came to a point that # had to =uiz m self as to who # was. # felt like # was going mental. Tom was alwa s helpful, eager to make us happ and he spent like craz on *arren and me. ,ought us stuff we didn$t ask for and didn$t even need. 7e had passed the pol graph, he defended me like craz and most of all, he made no attempt to take awa *arren. 61osing Sasha has been a wake"up call,9 he said to me. 6# know that # have done and said some things that were trul :9 he dropped his head in shame. 6# didn$t want to see the kids because # feared that # was too weak to give them back to ou. # needed the time to do some soul"searching and # did, /rena, # did. , Iod, # did > realized !ust how much # loved ou and m kids. *ithout ou, /rena, # am incomplete. #$ve been in therap and # have tackled demon after demon. Trust me, it has reall helped me see where # went wrong.9 6'ka .9 6Ever bod deserves a second chance, /rena. # need one too. &ome home. #t$s where ou both belong. # miss m son so much. 1osing Sasha has changed me. # can$t bear to think something could happen to *arren.9 6# will think about it,9 # said. 6(or now, # have too much on m plate to consider an thing drastic. %lease understand.9 6/bsolutel . Take all the time ou need.9 / wonderful changed man or a con artist8 # had to wonder as # was so damn confused. OOOO &ulpable homicide. That was the charge. # nodded and pled guilt . # had this incessant need to pa for m negligence. F wa of writing m horrendous wrong. # was responsible for m bab $s death and # wasn$t shirking that. # needed to pa . # needed to bleed, then onl would Sasha be avenged for m part in her death. Twisted wa of thinking but : F dilemma was *arren. #f # went to !ail, what would become of him8 7e was !ust five and a battered five" ear"old at that, thanks to his authoritarian father who ruled with an iron"fist and iron foot. /fter Sasha$s death, he became ver cling and slept in m bed. Tom said that he$s changed, but # knew that nobod changes overnight. # worried about *arren > stressed about leaving him with Tom. *hen Tom heard that # was being charged with culpable homicide, he rushed to the police station, appearing distraught as hell. 7e secured me a law er right awa > one of S dne $s best. 6She$s a good mother,9 he protested. 6She wouldn$t have done an thing to harm her kids. 'ka , sure we had our problems, but as a mother # cannot fault her. 7e went on to urge the police not to charge me.

6# know ou gu s have a !ob to do and # respect that, and man, ou gu s found the car in less than twent "four hours so:# mean, # applaud ou gu s, but m wife: ou have to have a heart. She$s a mother who has suffered.9 Even though he was sa ing all the right things, # wished he wouldn$t call me his wife. /s he ranted and raved about me and what a wonderful mother # was, # watched detectives and attorne $s defenses slowl disintegrate. /n wa , due to mitigating circumstances, # was sentenced to two ears imprisonment, but : with no !ail time, !ust probation. # could be with *arren. # cried with relief.

Chapter *i%teen
# found life unbearable. The pain of losing Sasha coiled around m heart and threatened to s=ueeze the life out of me. # wanted numbness. # wanted drugs, # wanted darkness. # withdrew from ever bod and ever thing and no longer left m apartment, unless it was absolutel necessar . Soong and Files were wonderful > the took care of *arren the da s when # couldn$t get out of bed, the da s when # sta ed up all night, all da and then became a zombie who sat in a chair and stared out of the window at nothing. # forgot to eat, forgot to shower, forgot to take *arren to school some da s, forgot to pick him up from school. #n short, # had lost m marbles. Tom had been working hard on his relationship with *arren and slowl , # saw *arren warming towards his father. # was relieved. *ith ,ear the bastard out of the picture, he needed a father figure, and who better than Tom, his biological father8 6# want to take him to &anberra,9 he said. 6;ust for a week.9 6.o ou want to go, *arren89 # asked, e)pecting him to sa KNo.9 6-es< .add is taking me to the monster truck show.9 6':ka , then.9 6*h don$t ou come with89 Tom asked. # gave a dismissive wave. 6#t$ll do ou good.9 6#$m not in the mood.9 6#$ll get ou a separate bedroom:89 6# need to be alone, Tom9 # said. 6,esides, # need permission to leave the state. %arole, remember89 6'ka , if ou change our mind, # will arrange permission for ou with our parole officer.9 / da later, # called and talked to *arren. 6Fum8 &an :can ou come over8 %lease8 Fum8 Fum89 .ing< .ing< .ing< /larm bells went on in m brain. Something wasn$t right with *arren. 6*hat is it, *arren89 6Nothing mum, # !ust :# !ust need ou, that$s all. %lease mum.9 #t was E %F. No time to get permission to leave the state. 6%ut dadd on the line, *arren.9 67e$s missing ou, that$s all, Tom said in a causal voice. 6&ome on over.9 6# don$t have permission, Tom.9 6The won$t know. ;ust get into the Ferc and drive down. .on$t break an speed limits and ou$ll be fine. &$mon, he misses ou< 7e$s been through a lot > let$s give him a break.9 *ithout thinking, # got into m car and drove to &anberra. #t was a four hour drive so # could drive there, pick up *arren and drive back b morning and nobod would know. # was careful with m speed limit and followed the rules of the road so as not to be stopped b the cops. -et, five minutes after # arrived in &anberra and !ust si) minutes awa from Tom and *arren, # was pulled over b the cops< # was stunned b m misfortune. (or violating m parole, # was arrested and thrown in !ail to serve m two ear sentence. F rotten luck8 -ou bet. Nothing affected me much, those da s, not even going to !ail. #t was the numbness > it gave me a thick skin. # wanted to be removed from societ so that # didn$t have to interact with an bod . The onl thing that reall affected me was *arren > he was now with Tom. # felt helpless and # was furious with m self over that.

To keep Tom happ , # was ver nice to him, sa ing all the right things and giving him hope that # ma go back to him. #t worked, *arren whispered that his father was nice to him. OOOO Silverwater &orrectional &entre was where # was to serve m sentence. Finimum securit , but a !ail nevertheless. Tom, of course, automaticall got full custod of *arren. 7ow could # possibl fault him8 #t wasn$t like he petitioned the courts for custod . # had stupidl brought this on m self. 1osing custod of *arren made me once again think of suicide. #$ve basicall lost both m kids because # chose freedom. (uck this freedom shit. # had it all wrong. # was a nut !ob who messing up at ever turn. 7owever, Tom brought *arren to see me ever Sunda . 7e usuall brought tons of gifts, food and chocolates, most of which # gave awa to other inmates and some to the wardens. To m utter relief, *arren didn$t look too sad or distressed and for that # was grateful and relieved. %erhaps Tom had changed after all. # so much wanted to believe it. # was a model prisoner hoping to get earl release from prison. # sta ed out of fights, did what # was told and spent m spare time sleeping. *hile incarcerated, # had plent of time to think and # thought about ,ear. *hat a disappointment he was to me. / con artist who pre ed on gullible, need women like me. *hat a sucker # was to believe all that he told me. # mean it was almost three months since he left, so he was definitel not coming back. *as he wining and dining some other sucker while # la in prison8 *as he laughing his arse off at m trusting self8 # worked out what # would sa to him if ever # saw him again. #f he was fortunate enough to encounter me. #t wasn$t going to be prett . ,ut after a bout of unbridles anger, # thought about ,ear in a different wa > his arms around m naked bod , his muscular thighs over mine, his smiling cobalt e es, the wa he held m face with both his hands when he kissed me, that night at the restaurant with a fireplace, the wa he pla ed with *arren and Sasha, the da he told me that he loved me, our favorite waterfall picnic spot : # ached for him. #n spite of ever thing that he did, # wanted him to hold me and love me the wa he had. *hat a pit that he knew e)actl how to love me. (ool that # was. OOOO Then two months after # was in prison, # had a visitor. Thinking it was Tom, # made m wa to the visitors room and balked. #t was ,ear. 7air , disheveled and looking like the disgusting piece of crap that he was. # hesitated, then walked slowl towards the man # once loved with all m heart. The dog who promised me the earth onl to let me down like Tom did. 6/rena, #$m so sorr , bab ,9 he said. 6Sasha:# loved that child, # reall did.9 Really now, you rotten piece of crap" 6-ou should have said twelve weeks, not si), ,ear"whoever"the"fuck" ou"are.6 ,itterness oozed out of me. 6#f # could, #$d take one of these guards weapons, shove it into our mouth and blast ou to smithereens, ou disgusting piece of shit. *ho the fuck are ou8 'r have ou forgotten who ou are with all the arns ou spin89 (or a moment, he stared at me, then slid over his police #.. # sneered at it. 6Fade in &hina. -ou should have got some for the children too, ou arsehole. 9 6/rena, stop< # am who # sa # am, for fuck$s sake<9 # folded m arms across m chest and glared at him.

6# was dela ed, oka 8 The assignment took longer than # e)pected, /rena.9 6+eall 33H8 7e can # be Fone penn 89 6/rena, contacting me would have compromised our investigation that took months to set up. # returned this morning and #$m here now. .on$t do this.9 # stood up. 6(or the record, # reall fell in love with ou. # didn$t e)pect to fall in love with another man after what # had been through, and # didn$t want to. ,ut ou : ou pla ed me and # fell hard. #t hurts so much. ,ut he , # learned m lesson.9 6/rena, listen :9 6?eep the beard, it suits our real character.9 6/rena<9 # walked awa . 6/rena<9 Secretl !aded at seeing him again, # paced in m cell. ,astard< 7ow could he be act so sincere8 #f # didn$t know him better, if # had talked to &aptain *arner m self, # would have believed him. *hat an actor. *hat a dickhead< 1ater that da , # got visitor. #t was ,ear again. # turned to walk awa . 6/rena, wait<9 # stopped walking. 61ook, /rena<9 # turned around and looked into the face of &aptain *arner. # peered at the man who told me that ,ear was a fraud. 6&aptain :89 67e$ll e)plain. %lease, /rena, give me a chance, bab .9 &urious to hear what &aptain *arne has to sa , # shuffled to take a seat opposite them. 6Frs ,otha, # want to apologize for misleading ou,9 &aptain *arne said. 6'fficer Shane Shaw or ,ear as we call him, is one of m finest, and # was protecting his life when # told ou what # did. +ight now, # cannot go into details, but # can tell ou that he is who he sa s he is.9 7e went on to e)plain that contacting ,ear would have compromised not onl ,ear$s life, but would have put the lives of other undercovers at risk. 6#$m reall sorr to do that to ou especiall during that terrible time in our life. # reall had no choice but to stop ou in our tracks.9 F e es fl to ,ear. 7e did not lie to me after all< F bottom lip starts to tremble. 6# can$t walk awa , /rena,9 ,ear sa s. 6# don$t wanna. # wanna sta and fight. *e can do this, bab . Nothing and nobod can break us if we have each other. Take m hand, bab . .on$t push me awa . %lease. # need ou and # want ou to need me. #t$s how #$m wired.9 6# :# :but :9 # burst into tears. Sobbed. Muietl , &aptain *arner backed awa . F tears were a combination of relief and sorrow. # was relieved that he didn$t dupe me. 7e was real, what we had was real. /ll his promises and declarations were genuine. 7e wanted to sta in spite of ever thing. # was worth . Sorrow :that$s another stor . 6# n:needed ou so m:much, ,ear.9 7e hung his head and when he lifted it, his e es were full of tears. 6,ab :9 he shook his head, 6to see ou here, like this, after what ou$ve been through:9 # nodded slowl and for a while, we battled tears and sorrow together. 67ow did things go so bad so =uickl 89 he asked. # asked m self the same =uestion > m life was going great, all m dreams were being realized, then wham< disaster. F world was destro ed. # was in prison > what more could happen to me8 *hen we$re both calmer he smiled at me. 6# will be waiting for ou when ou get out. #$m gonna marr ou, bab .9

# nodded. 7is face was solemn. 6&oming home and not seeing ou and the kids across m apartment :9 he ran his fingers slowl through his hair, 6it$s wrong. So wrong. # don$t want to come home an more. #t$s a horrible feeling, /rena. #$d give an thing to turn back the clock. To go back to those wonderful da s we all spent together.9 *e both fell silent. *hat # would have given to turn back the clock. # would never have left m bab in the car. # would never have left Tom if # had known what would happen. 6-ou be strong, oka 8 #$ll be waiting for ou and we will get *arren back, bab . # promise ou that, oka 89 # didn$t answer. 6'ka 89 he demanded. 6# want ou to be whole. # need ou to be whole.9 # nodded, desperate to believe him and grateful to hear him sa that about *arren. 6# love ou, ,ear.9 6# love ou, /rena.9 7e puts a hand on his heart. 6/ll of this, bab .9 # put two fingers to m lips and point it at him. 6Fan, # wanna hold ou so much,9 he whispered. 6Fe too,9 # croaked. *ith tears in our e es, we walked awa from each other. OOOO To m absolute !o , # was released after !ust si) months in !ail< /s promised, ,ear was waiting for me with flowers in his hand. 7e scooped me up and whirled around with me then kissed me. Then we hugged for a ver long time. To avoid riling up Tom, # didn$t move in with ,ear. # moved in with Soong Bshe had moved into a house with Files while # was in prisonC until # could figure out things. /t first, ,ear wasn$t happ about the idea of me living with Soong, but Soong and # worked on him until he accepted it. +eluctantl at that. # did see him ever da though. ,efore # had gone to prison, # had given Soong a ke to hold for me > the ke to m storage unit which housed all m !ewelr , documents and whatever # had left. #n it was also m phone which # was happ to have again. ,ack to life. ,ack to m realit without m children. 7ow can ou en!o freedom when ou don$t have the people ou love with ou8 *hen ou can$t be with the ones ou love8 # no longer had Sasha. # no longer had *arren. # no longer could live with ,ear. 7ow the fuck was # free8 OOOO /lthough # wanted to ask Tom for !oint custod of *arren now that # was out of prison, # hesitated, deciding to work on him bit b bit. *henever # wanted to see *arren, he allowed it, providing he was there. Not wanting to cause a problem, # accepted it. (or now. *arren was thrilled to have me around and hugged me hard. To m disma , he grew tearful whenever # left. 6Soon, bab ,9 # whispered to him. 6Soon.9 # was able to get back m ,F*, but # couldn$t bear the thought of using it. Ever time # looked at it. # saw Sasha$s angelic face in the back seat. # eventuall sold it and kept the cash.

# didn$t need a car an wa , so # didn$t ask Tom about the Ferc sitting in our three"car garage in St #ves, and this time, he did not offer it to me. 7e was guarded and reserved these da s > # attributed it to the fact that ,ear was around. 7owever, being the proud peacock that he was, he never once mentioned ,ear, as if to sa that ,ear did not feature or was wa too insignificant to even worth a mention. Sometimes, when # needed to see *arren, # used ,ear$s ;eep to travel to them. Tom e ed the ;eep with a slight sneer on his face, but said nothing. # was relieved that he wasn$t badgering me into coming back to him. To keep m self bus , # started working full"time at Soong$s. F aim was to build a solid life with a proper income so that when # petitioned the courts for custod of *arren, # would get it. # wanted full custod , but was happ to allow Tom as much visitation as he wanted. ,ear and # saved most of our mone for the attorne we planned to get. Each time he had gone on assignment he had received a huge pa check, and he had all that mone saved. #t was for a securit "related business he planned to open one da when he resigned from the %olice force. Now he was more than happ to give it all to me for attorne $s fees. 60se ever penn , bab ,9 he said, giving me his bank card. 6*arren$s worth it.9 # was moved to tears > he was prepared to forgo his dream for me. *hat more could # want in a man8

Chapter Si,teen
*hen ?obus$s girlfriend, 1anita, called me, # was surprised. # had met 1anita once when she and ?obus came to dinner. She was a sweet girl and # wondered wh she would hang with a thug like ?obus who disrespected her something terrible in public. 67e was involved in a car crash and he wants to see ou,9 she said in a tearful voice. 6Sa $s he$s gonna die.9 6*haaaat8<9 6Sa s ou must not let Tom know about this call.9 # never liked ?obus who was a close budd of Tom$s. +umour had it that he was also into stolen artworks and bulk car hi!acking. 7e was alwa s upbeat and laughed the loudest in the room and his tattoos scared the shit out of me > skulls and snakes and blood drops : 7is fre=uent visits to the bathroom and the wa he alwa s wiped his nose, made me suspect that he was a cokehead. *hen # mentioned it once with Tom, he told me to keep m trap shut and mind m own business. So # did. # looked at the time > E %F. ,ear was working the night shift. Fa be # should go tomorrow, # thought. ,ut 1anita$s words about not telling Tom sparked m interest, so # got dressed and headed off to 7ornsb 7ospital. # was shocked when # saw ?obus > he had a huge bandage on his head and was hooked up to about four machines. 7e had three intravenous lines, and urine bag and he was on o) gen. 7is face was bloated and almost unrecognizable. *hen he saw me, he flicked his finger at me. # walked closer to him. 67e ?obus< -ou look like shit, man.9 # smiled tr ing to make light of the situation. 7e didn$t respond to m !oke. #nstead he sent 1anita out of the room and began babbling. /s he did, # clamped m hands across m mouth to prevent m self from screaming. 7e told me that Tom wasn$t in South /frica during the time of Sasha$s death. 7e was in S dne l ing low. ?obus had assumed Tom$s identit and travelled to South /frica, where he carefull established a paper trail on behalf of Tom. Feanwhile, Tom had stalked me for da s, sat outside m apartment and watched me and ,ear on the balcon , watched us dancing with his kids, watched us at the waterfall picnic spot with ,ear, saw us kiss and make out and was livid. 7e told ?obus that he couldn$t rest until he destro ed me for taking up with another man. Tom got his chance outside the shops. Stealing the car was his plan all along, but he planned to have both the children in the car when he did. 1uckil for *arren and unfortunatel for Tom, *arren wasn$t in the car that da . 7e had wanted to frame me for their deaths and send me to !ail, but things didn$t go according to plan and all # got was probation. .isgusted8 There$s more > he went one step further > enticed me to &anberra, causing me to violate m parole, then called the cops anon mousl and informed them that # was violating parole b leaving NS*. 7is aim from the ver beginning was to send me to prison. Take awa from freedom that # craved. 7e had hoped that, now that he had custod of *arren, # would move back with him, but since # refused to and was with ,ear, he was livid and was planning something big where ,ear would be blamed and go to prison for life. Then # would go back to him. 7e wouldn$t stop unless # did. ?obus wasn$t sure what he meant b Ksomething big,$ but he suspected it involved *arren. /ll Tom$s niceness after Sasha$s death was !ust an e)cuse to get closer to me and win me back. *hen that failed, he moved to plan b, c and d. 7is words to ?obus about this new plan of revenge, 6,lood . Ler blood .9

?obus warned me not to approach Tom right now, as nothing he said could be proven and Tom ma hurt *arren if # make him mad. 7e suggested that # take *arren and disappear. #t$s was the onl wa , he said, or he was coming after me with all guns blazing. 67e$s got a %.#. on ou all the time.9 6*h ou telling me all this89 # asked. 6,ecause # am going to die and # want to tell ou before # do. # didn$t e)pect him to kill his child. # thought he was taking them out of the countr to hide them or something89 6*h didn$t ou go to the cops89 6Skeletons,9 he said. 6Too man in m closet.9 /s he was talking, a machine started beeping, so nurses and doctors kicked me out of the ward. # stood in a daze as all that # heard minutes ago reverberated in m brain. #f ?obus lived, # was oka . # could go to the cops and tell them all of it. ,ut what if ?obus died8 /ll proof died with him8 *hat do # do then8 OOOO # raced back to Soong$s house and threw up. Fainl out of absolute fear. 7ow could # possibl leave *arren with Tom after hearing what # !ust heard8 # need to do something to keep *arren safe and # needed to do it now. ,ut what8 F mind raced > Tom killed Sasha because # left him. 7e ma now go after *arren and ,ear if # did not to back to him. #t$s me he wants, simple. # felt trapped. # felt imprisoned actuall . ,eing in !ail was nothing like # was feeling at that moment when # realized that # was trapped > return to Tom or lose ,ear and *arren. # accused Tom of a heinous crime. # was right. Tom was a monster who thought nothing about killing his own child. *hen # think of the tears he shed over Sasha$s death, the wa he looked broken and like a man grieving: 7ow could he be this wa 8 ?ill his own child8 *ho does that8 / ps chopath8 / sociopath8 The thought sickened me. ,ut in a wa , # was relieved > m gut wouldn$t be fooled and kept nagging me that it was Tom. &lever Tom > he hoodwinked police and passed a pol graph. ,rilliant Tom. Evil Tom. /fter a lot of thought, # came to a conclusion > the onl wa # would be free was to kill Tom. Then we$d all be safe and at peace. That was a solution, but long"term one at that. # needed to diffuse the situation, calm Tom down right awa . 7e wanted me and if # ac=uiesced, ever one would be safe. # needed to go back to Tom until # killed him. F calm at such a terrible thought surprised me. ,ut # had been through so much that # too had evolved > # thought nothing of murdering a man. #n all fairness to me > a man who thought nothing of murdering a beautiful bab . 7is own bab . The thought of living with Tom in that suffocating environment sent me fl ing back into the bathroom to throw up again. #t was b far the second worst thing # would have to do in m life. B#dentif ing Sasha$s bod in the morgue was the worst.C ,ut it was something # had to do > submit to Tom. ,ear > how the hell do # tell him that # was going back to Tom8 # couldn$t. # didn$t want to hurt him. 7e didn$t deserve it. ,ut # had to do it. # couldn$t !ust leave without an e)planation > the man gave me ever thing he had, he loved me to bits and # owed him answers. 7e was at work and would be back in the morning, so # wrote him a

long, length letter e)plaining ever little thing. #n hindsight, # shouldn$t have done that, but # was so unhinged after what # had heard, that # was not thinking clearl . /fter # wrote it, # left it on m bedside table. /s # dressed, # realized that ,ear might decide to take matters in his own hands after reading the letter. *hat if, while he was doing that, Tom shot him or hurt him reall badl 8 *hat if he hurt Tom, then went to !ail8 # couldn$t risk that. +ather hurt ,ear and e)plain later. # rushed over to the letter, picked it up and tore it up into tin pieces and threw it into the rubbish bin. .onning on a red mini, a I"string, a push"up bra and stilettos, # got into ,ear$s ;eep and drove to St #ves. 6/rena<9 Tom cried, surprise all over his face at the sight of me on his doorstep. 67e , hope #$m not disturbing,9 # said in a breath voice. 6No, no, no<9 he said. 6*arren, look who$s here<9 *arren bounded into m arms. 6-ou came, mumm , ou came<9 *hen # saw him dressed as he was in a matching pants and shirt, hair neat, shoes on his feet, # wanted to cr . 6;oin us for dinner89 Tom said. 6.epends:what are ou$re cooking89 F voice was deliberatel flirt . 6Eh:#$m not, but what would ou like89 7e never cooked, # knew that. 6# can order it. Tell me, what would ou like8 /n thing ou want, # can get it.9 Eager to please. Fm. 6Thai would be nice. 7aven$t had that for ages.9 # knew that his favorite food was Thai and toda # wanted to please him. 6Thai8 -ou got it.9 7e rushed to the phone and ordered it. /s he did, # looked around at the house # left behind. 1u)ur carpets and furnishings in various shades of white and cream, e)pensive artworks courtes of ?obus, designer hi"tech furniture, plush rugs, marble floors, pillars : -et, it was never a home, more a showroom that invited env . # hated the place. ,ut m son was there and # had to do what # had to do to save him from whatever Tom had in store for him. 7e hung up the phone and returned to *arren and me. 6Ferlot89 6;ust a glass. #$m driving.9 7e handed me a glass and sat across me. Slowl , # crossed and uncrossed m legs. 6-ou look good,9 he said, his e es lingering on m legs. # looked at him above the rim of m glass and smiled. *e chatted about stuff, but # didn$t hear half the things he was sa ing. 7e topped m glass. 67e , # have to drive home. 6+ela). This is home.9 7is turn to smile at me over the rim of his glass. 6Fm, the place looks good, !ust like # remember.9 6So se) , what brings ou here89 # let out a delightful giggle and watched him visibl rela). 6(elt like seeing ou gu s.9 *e sat around the table when our food arrived and had dinner. # couldn$t eat, not after what # heard from ?obus, but # pretend to and moved food around m plate. 7e was nervous # think, because he drank a lot and =uickl too. /fter dinner, # put *arren to bed. 7e was so happ to have me at his bedside, he couldn$t stop holding me and kissing me and m heart splintered at the neediness of m son. 6&ome live with us, mumm ,9 he begged. 6.add is nice to me, now. #Kll tell him not to hurt ou again.9 6'ka , m bab , # will,9 # said and la in bed with him until he fell asleep. *hen # walked out the room, Tom, now definitel drunk, took m arm and led me to the hot tub. 6(or old time$s sake,9 he said.

# absolutel did not want to get into the hot tub with the murder of m child, but # had to remind m self wh # was there. # give m self to him and ever bod is safe. # could do that. 6,ut, but, # don$t have a bikini, Tom,9 # said in a girlish voice. 6-ou don$t need one,9 he slurred. 6Iod, # love it when ou sa m name.9 # was aware that a ton of m clothes were probabl still in this house, so clothing wasn$t an issue. 6&$mon<9 he tugged on m top. # let him. Slowl , he peeled off m top and threw it aside. Then he unzipped m skirt and let it drop to m ankles. # allowed him to unhook m bra and free m breasts, as # kicked awa m skirt. *hen he reached for m I"string, # stopped him. 6Eas now,9 # said with a smile. 6F turn :9 # unbuttoned his shirt, removed it and threw it over m shoulder. Then # slowl moved m hands down his chest, over his stomach and undid his belt buckles. /s # unzipped his pants, # allowed m hands to brush against his erection. 6Iod<9 he groaned. 6'h fuuuuuck<9 # dropped down to m knees as # tugged off his pants. 7e was going craz with m moves. #t$s oka , go craz ou s.o.b, # thought to m self. # didn$t remove his underpants. 'nce inside the tub he tried to kiss me and fondled m breasts. 7e was literall going craz with desire for me. # couldn$t believe how he could be so obsessed with me. #t wasn$t like # was a raving beaut or a se) kitten or an thing special. #n fact, # was e)actl the opposite of what he wanted. 7e !ust wanted to win and # was his prize. #f ,ear got me, then Tom would have lost and that was not something Tom could live with. # giggled and allowed him some tongue action. 7e pressed his erection against me and tried to dr "hump me, e)cept that we were in the water, so it was more like wet"humping me. # allowed him that too before # moved awa . 6Iosh, ou$re like a teenager, Tom<9 7e nodded as he ran his tongue slowl over his lower lip. 9-ou still turn me on, bab ,9 he said as he moved closer to me. 6-eah89 F voice was breath again. 6'ooh eah<9 7e grabbed m face and licked it hungril . 6Nobod makes me hard like ou do. Nought to hard in less than two seconds. (eel it.9 7e took m hand and slipped it into his underpants. 6# wanna fuck ou so badl .9 6-eah89 m voice was enticing. 6-eah. # wanna hear ou call m name when #$m deep inside ou.9 6-eah89 6# wanna take ou from behind.9 6'oooh.9 # dropped m head back as if # was weak with desire for him. 7e ran his tongue down m neck and around a nipple before he took it into his mouth and sucked vigorousl on it. 6-ou like that8 7uh8 7uh8 -ou alwa s liked that, remember8 9 6'ooh eah.9 *hen he tried to slip his fingers between m thighs, # clamped the together, preventing him from doing that. 6*haaaat89 6Too soon.9 7e nodded, a look of disappointment on his face. 6*hen8 Tell me when89 # acted all co and ran m hands over m breasts, then m thighs. 6Soon.9 6Tomorrow.9 6Tomorrow8 That$s too:9 6No, c$mon<9 6#$ll think about it.9 # turned like # was about to leave.

7e was behind me in an instant, pressing is hot dick against m butt. 7is hands reached behind, grabbed m breasts and s=ueezed. 6Iod, # want ou< So badl .9 6*h me8 There are so man other girls:9 6Nah. -ou do it for me. (rom the da ou first re!ected me.9 6+e!ected ou8 *hen did # do that89 6That da at the part , when we first met8 -ou were the onl girl who wasn$t interested in me. *hen # looked back and saw ou looking bored and unimpressed, # knew ou were the girl for me.9 6Fm.9 True # wasn$t interested with him. 6Then wh the fuck did ou treat me like shit89 6#$ll change. # promise. # alread have.9 6+eall 89 6%lease< &ome back. # need ou. Tomorrow. Ever thing else:b gones.9 # turned around and faced him. 6#$ll give it a trial. ,ut # want more freedom and ou better pla nice.9 7e responded b kissing me wildl . # managed to leave without getting fucked b him. ,ut # knew that # had him hankering after me which was what # wanted. # felt better and safer now that # knew he wasn$t mad at me. # knew that he wouldn$t hurt *arren or ,ear as long as he had hope. ,ear< 'h Iod, how the hell do # tell him that #$m leaving him8 F heart broke at the thought of not seeing him again, not holding him, not kissing him. ,ut # had to do what # had to do, so # forced ,ear feelings out of m thoughts.

Chapter Seventeen
6*hat the fuck are ou sa ing, /rena89 *e sat across each other at his dining table. 6,ear, remember when ou asked me to trust ou8 ,ecause ou had a good reason89 7e didn$t answer. 6# need ou to trust me, bab . # need to do :.9 6-ou need to go back to him8 /fter what he did, /rena8 /re ou fucking mad89 6:this. ,ear, please, #$m not sa ing goodb e to ou. #$m sa ing for a while. Trust me. # will e)plain later.9 7e !erked to his feet, knocking the chair back and making me !ump. 6# fucking love ou. 7ear that8 # love ou. # wanna help ou. .o what needs to be done. # know something is up and # want ou to tell me what it is.9 7e wagged his finger at me. 6# will kill for ou, /rena. ?ill for *arren too. #t$s not new to me, bab . -ou don$t know me. -ou have no idea who # am. # don$t want to tell ou because # don$t wanna scare ou off, don$t wanna lose ou. ,ut if ou walk out the door, we$re done. 7ear me89 #t was so tempting for me to tell him ever thing, but # worried that he$d go after Tom. 6# need ou to trust me, ,ear,9 # said as # picked up m bag. ,ear looked at me with tears in his e es. 6# gave ou ever thing # could, et ou do this to me, to us, /rena89 7e grabbed his ke s and stormed out of the apartment. *ith a heav heart, # called a cab and went to the hospital to see ?obus. ?obus was sitting up in bed, looking much better and # was certain he wasn$t going to die. 6So, tell me more, ?obus,9 # said. 7e gave me a blank stare. 6$bout :what89 6Sasha > Tom$s involvement with her death.9 6*hat the fuck are ou talking about89 he snarled. 7is reaction took me b surprise. 6F bab . -ou said that Tom stole the car with Sasha in it. -ou said that ou helped him.9 ?obus$s e es bulged with what looked like fear. 6/re ou fucking high8 Iet the fuck out of here. # never said those goddamn things.9 # stared at him in disbelief. 6-es, ou did the other da , ?obus.9 6# must have been drunk and talked shit. None of it was true, oka 8 Now get the fuck out of here, ou cheating whore< # know all about ou and our cop bo friend > the cunt ou left Tom for. 6 6*hat8<9 7e glanced around then dropped his voice. 6/nd stop talking shit like that. -ou can$t prove nothin$, ou hear.9 # was shaking with fur . 61isten here, ou bastard, ou told :9 6/nd leave m goddamn name out of it or # will put a bullet in ou, #$m warning ou. Tom will have to stand in line to get ou.9 So much for going to the cops. The alread think #$m nuts because of all the things # said about Tom, now without ?obus backing up m stor , # will come across as a ps cho. ,ut he did sa those things > about the waterfall at the picnic spot, us dancing in m apartment : /s # stormed out of the hospital, # vowed to kill ?obus one da . 7ow and when # had no idea, # !ust knew that # would. OOOO (ucking Tom was the worst part of this whole 'peration ?ill Tom. The onl wa # could suffer his tongue in m mouth and his dick inside of me and the marathon se) was to pretend that it was m handsome hunk called ,ear.

Tom was on top of the world at our reconciliation, as he called, and went out of his wa to be nice to *arren and me. 7e bought me a huge diamond ring > about three ?arats and as ugl as hell. ,ut # accept it graciousl . 6# can$t believe ou$re back,9 he said from time"to"time. # couldn$t believe # was back either. /bout a week after # moved in with Tom, he got reall wasted. /ctuall , # got him wasted. Topped up his drink when he wasn$t looking. # liked him drunk, then he would stop wanting to fuck me. *hile we were in the hot tub he started rambling. 6#f ou knew what # am capable of, ou will admire me,9 he slurred. 6The cops, ha< the think the $re smart. 7a< .umb pieces of shit. # have the abilit to outsmart all of them. .etectives, cops, ou name it. /ll of them. Seriousl .9 # knew he was having a dig at m darling ,ear. 6'h, c$mon Tom<9 # said in a goading manner. 6The found our car with :9 # couldn$t sa her name. 6-eah, eighteen hours later< That long8 Eighteen hours, /rena8 Iive me a break< The $re a bunch of morons with their lie"detector tests and their interrogations and their investigations :all shit. Stupid bastards. Nobod can outsmart me. Nobod . Not Tom ,otha.9 'ka , he passed the lie detector test > got hand it to him > he$s smart, alright. # cocked m head to one side and s=uinted at him. 6Nobod 89 7e threw out his arms and puffed out his chest. 6# am brilliant bab < -our husband is fucking brill:i:ant< -ou reall have no idea how amazing # am.9 7e stabbed his chest with his inde) finger. 6# am the real deal. /ll in one. Fe. # am as good as it gets. Ever one else :9 he fans the air, 6generic.9 6Fm.9 # =uietl seethe at his bragging. 7e is after all talking about how he fooled people about killing his bab . The man had no heart. Strike that > the animal had no heart. OOOO / week later, when # dropped off *arren at school, # was handed a letter addressed to Frs /rena ,otha. Thinking it was a letter from the school, # thanked them and tore it open. (aby, ' found your letter to me, the one you tore up& ' pieced it together and know what you!re up to& on!t do it& They will get you& ' have a better idea& %eet me )ed at Soong!s for a massage& '!ll be hiding in the back waiting for you& # love ou. ))) The letter # wrote to ,ear was torn in such tin pieces > how the hell did he piece it together8 *ow< &an$t believe he took the time to do that. /nd this Kbetter idea$ that he hadQwhat could it be8 Thrilled to know that ,ear wasn$t mad at me and that he wasn$t rushing to do an thing craz , # waited for *ednesda . #mpatientl at that. Soong threw her arms around me when she saw me, then ushered into the broom cupboard where m ,ear waited for me. *e dived into each other$s arms and kissed like craz . *ithin minutes m clothes were off and we were indulging in a =uickie. #t felt so wonderful that # couldn$t get enough off him. *hen we were done, # walked into reception with m massage gown on. Somehow # felt # was being followed so # need to alla an suspicions right now. ,ack in ,ear$s arms, we kissed some more and talked. *hat do ou want to do to Tom89 ,ear asked.

6?ill him,9 # said in a causal voice. 7e nodded as if # had !ust informed him that # wanted to order a pizza or something. 6,oth of them89 # nodded. 6/bsolutel .9 6# have a better idea,9 he said, then went on to e)plain. The plan was simple5 ?ill ?obus, frame Tom. ,ear would give me pills to drug Tom. *hen Tom was asleep, # was to take Tom$s gun from the safe and ensure # had his fingerprints on it. /dd some cocaine Bwith intent to distributeC to the mi) !ust in case the murder conviction doesn$t stick. ,ear would kill ?obus and leave a trail of evidence leading to Tom. # ran m fingers slowl through m hair, overwhelmed with all that needs to be done. /s if reading m mind, ,ear said, 6# got it covered, bab . ;ust do as # sa and things will happen.9 # looked at him. 6Trust me. %lease.9 # nodded slowl . 7e handed me packet of headache pills. 67eadache:89 # looked =uestioningl at him. 6#t$s not what it looks like. %op one into his drink and he will sleep through the night, so soundl , ou will be able to get his fingerprints on the gun and the cocaine. 9 6*ell, ou$ll probabl find tons of cocaine at ?obus$s,9 # said. 6-eah, but # won$t bank on that. There$s alwa s the evidence room.9 7e smiled and wriggled his e ebrows. *hen he smiled, he looked so beautiful that m heart leapt and # had to give him another kiss. 6# will duplicate a !acket of Tom$s, pick up his %orsche when he$s asleep, drive to ?obus$s house, park it for all to see and walk into ?obus$s house. That wa , witnesses will tell the cops that the saw a black %orsche outside ?obus$s house during the time of the murder, get it89 6/nd Tom will be asleep in his bed89 6-eah.9 6'ka , ,ear, when ou park Tom$s %orsche at ?obus$s house, there$s a lad who lives in a blue and cream house > she got reall shitt with us when we parked outside her house, sa ing that we are obstructing her view and things. / crank old bitch. She will make a note of the car and will probabl tell the cops about it.9 7e nodded. 6;ust one more thing, ,ear:9 # looked directl at him, 6# want ?obus to know that it was me, and # want him to know this was about Sasha.9 6Iotcha<9 6# want him to beg.9 6.one9 Tom then went over parts of the plan with me. # made suggestions, gave him details and eventuall after a lot of hugging and kissing, we parted wa s.

Chapter Eighteen
That night, dressed in a flims bab "doll pink negligee and a thong, # sasha ed up to Tom and handed him his second whisk with the pill dissolved in it. 6See, now that$s what # want in a wife,9 he said. 6Someone who is one step ahead of me.9 7e smiled with satisfaction at m Stepford wa s. 6Se) <9 # allowed him a grope or two. *hen he tried to slip his hands into m panties, # grabbed his hand and said, 6Io upstairs, strip and wait for me. # got some plans for ou. #t involves screaming > you screaming.9 6'oooh, # like it<9 he cried and drank up. *ithin half an hour he was fast asleep. Snoring. Slipping on gloves, # walked to a shrub in m garden, took a bag from under it containing a large bag of cocaine, together with several small bags of cocaine. # walked up to Tom and got his fingerprints all over the bags of cocaine. Ne)t, # went to the safe, opened it and got out his P mm. # knew that his fingerprints would alread be on the gun, but # needed to make sure. # placed the gun in his hand, ensuring # had his fingerprints on the trigger as well, then slipped it back into the bag. # fetched Tom$s black beanie, slipped it over his head, then removed it. (inall , # slipped on a pair of black gloves onto his hands. # removed them, and together with the other items, slipped them all back into the bag and back under the shrub in m garden. ,ear wanted them to ensure that the had gunpowder residue on them. # went inside, switched m living room light on and off > m signal for ,ear to fetch the bag from under the shrub. The ne)t time we met for a Kmassage,$ we spent more than an hour discussing me as Tom$s alibi. 'ur onl fear was that Tom would report his gun stolen before the killing. ,ut it was a chance we had to take. 6'ka , so #$m supposed to be in Felbourne that week,$ ,ear said. 6F brother is going to double for me. 7e$s going to drive down to Felbourne and establish a paper trail using m vehicle, m identit and m credit card. 6The same trick Tom used.9 # smiled at him. 6-ou$re heaps smarter, bab ,ear.9 7e blushed. 6-ou !ust can$t call me for at least a month after the murder. 'ka 89 # pouted. 6/fter that:9 7e let out a long breath. 6/fter that,9 # hugged him again. 6&an$t wait.9 6See now, if ou had wasted Tom, ou$d be under total scrutin . ,ut now ou will be isolated from the crime. *ith our husband in !ail, it$s understandable that ou$d want a new beginning. 6'ka .9 *e spent more time discussing how # would handle being =uestioned b the police about Tom$s alibi. OOOO The da of the killing dawned. /fter knocking Tom out with two pills, # moved for the finale. *ith m palms sweat and mouth dr , # called one of our so"called and pretentious friend, Trish, about her cheesecake recipe. /fter thanking her for it, # hung up and called another one of our so"called and pretentious friend Firiam, about the same recipe, sa ing that # preferred hers to Trish$s. Firiam told me that she preferred her cheesecake to Trish$s cheesecake too, and that she didn$t know wh Trish bothered to bake in the first place, as her cakes were dr and tasteless.

6# totall agree,9 # said before # hung up. This was purel for cell phone tower activit > shows where # was during the night of the murder. /t midnight, ,ear, wearing a ski !acket, identical to one that Tom has, a black beanie and black gloves, strode into our garage which was opened, slipped behind the wheel of Tom$s black %orsche, and drove to ?obus$s house. #n the passenger$s seat of the %orsche la Tom$s cell phone. /n hour later, # heard the %orsche pull into our garage. # peeped in to look at Tom. 7e was snoring. # ran down to our garage. ,ear was ad!usting the driver$s seat > back to it$s original position. 7e was wearing gloves so he didn$t have to worr about fingerprints. # shut the garage door and looked at ,ear, the man who had !ust killed for me. 7e looked wired and his e es were a dark. 6.one,9 he said, and handed me a bag. 67ere$s the gun :9 6#$ll put it in the safe.9 6Iood girl. The cocaine, the glove, the beanie:89 6#$ll hide it in the house. *here did ou park the %orsche89 6'utside the old bat$s house. She opened the curtains and glared at me, but she didn$t do an thing else.9 6?obus89 6# got him !ust as he opened his door, so there was no breaking and entering.9 6'ka :and then:89 6# shot his right arm straight awa in case he reached for his weapon. # said, KThis is for bab Sasha, ou prick.$ 7e pleaded with me, said he owed Tom as Tom helped him to waste his brother" in"law ears ago and that Tom demanded he help him. # said, 6+emember what ou said to /rena8 -ou told her to shut her trap or ou will come after her8$ /nd he said, K7e , man, #$m sorr , man :$ # said, KShe sent me to kill ou. She$s behind our murder.$ 7e appeared shocked. Started begging. Told me he would give me art that would set me up for life.9 6+eall 89 6-eah. Then # shot him three more times > two in the chest, one between the e es. Total four.9 6/nd ou sure he$s dead89 6%ositive.9 # smiled. -ou$d think that since he !ust shot and killed a man, # would be repulsed b him. # wasn$tQ# was so turned on with what he did, that # wanted to fuck him right awa . # took his hand, the same hand that fired the shots at m bab $s murderer. *ith a smile, # kissed it and said, 6&ome with me, bab ,ear. 1et me give ou a tour of m crib and then #$m going to fuck ou sill .9 7is turn to smile. # showed him round the house and then took him into m bedroom where Tom was sleeping. # motioned to the bed. 67ere89 # nodded and shed m gown while Tom snored awa . 6-ou sure89 6-ep, #$m that fucked up right now. The ultimate disrespect. # want to do it with him in the bed.9 ,ear grinned. 6*hatever floats our boat, bab .9 /s we floated m boat, Tom suddenl opened his e es and looked at us. ,oth ,ear and # froze. 6/rena89 Tom s=uinted at me, then ,ear. (or a few moments he !ust stared. Then his e es closed and he snored on. ,ear and # e)changed nervous looks but continued our disrespecting of Tom, the t rant. 6.o ou think he will remember this when he wakes up89 # asked as we dressed. 6Nah. #t$ll be like a dream if he did. ,ut he$ll wonder if it was reall a dream. Trust me.9

# smiled. 6# like that. 7ope it plagues him.9 6#t will. Fake no mistake about that.9 /fter a long length goodb e, ,ear tore himself out of m arms and flew to Felbourne using his brother$s identit .

Chapter #ineteen
6*hat do ou mean ?obus is dead89 # paused with m stirring of sugar into m latte. Tom appeared genuinel distraught over the death of his friend. %oor Tom. 6#t looked like a robber ,9 he said. 6Some of his valuables are missing > his watch, his wallet and a few other things.9 6-ou kidding me<9 Then the doorbell. # hurried to open it and shivered with e)citement when # saw detectives at our door. The informed us that the had received a call to sa there was shouting at ?obus$s house and that a black %orsche was seen speeding awa . 6/ black :9 # whirled around to look at Tom m e es wide and accusing. 6*hat8 That$s ridiculous<9 Tom e)claimed, then threw me stop"looking"at"me"like"that look. 6*here were ou last night between P %F and @ /F8 6# was home with m wife. /sk her. # was asleep with her.9 # nodded vigorousl . #n a show of solidarit , # even inched closer to Tom and held his hand. *hat a good wife # was while nails were being hammered into Tom$s cherr wood coffin. BThat$s what # saw him in. Nothing but the finest for m husband.C 6&an we take a look at our phone89 6Sure.9 Tom handed them his phone and even gave them his password. /s the detective checked the call log, another nail fell and # watched his face light up. *hen the detectives =uestioned me further, # repeated that Tom was with me all night. 6&an we look around89 the detective asked. 6Sure,9 Tom said. 6No,9 # said. 6Iet a warrant first.9 ,ear instructed me to sa that. .idn$t want Tom later on to walk on an technical note. Tom frowned at me. 6No, Tom, tell them to get a warrant.9 # was so adamant, that Tom, after he got over his surprise, eventuall nodded. To m relief. The detectives left, but returned hours later with a search warrant. Tom had gone to work so it was !ust lonel ol$ me around. *ith e)citement coursing through m veins, # threw open the doors to m house and became e)tremel co"operative. # did have to resist the urge to offer them lattes or even whisk , that$s how happ # was. *hen the found the gun, the glove, the beanie and the cocaine, there was a flurr of activit and twitters between them. # was so thrilled with the succession of nails at Tom$s coffin, # wanted to bake cupcakes. # wanted to cook, too. That night as we sat down to a dinner of roast leg of lamb, mashed potatoes, baked pumpkin, savour rice, minted peas and grav B-es, # was in such a good mood, # cooked up a stormC, and chocolate cupcakes for desert, the cops arrived to arrest Tom. 6,ut this is !ust ridiculous,9 # protested, putting down m carving knife and removing m pink apron. 6-ou got the wrong man, officer.9 6The $re idiots< &all m law er, /rena<9 Tom shouted as the led him out in handcuffs. 7e was cock because he had no idea how much evidence the cops had on him. # tottered behind Tom, wiping awa crocodile tears. 6Tom< 'h Iod, Tom<9 'scar worth performance8 -ou bet. /ll m e)perience on Tom$s ,roadwa shows, remember8 6#t$s oka ,9 Tom said when he saw how distraught # appeared to be. 6#$ll be back soon, /rena. This is !ust a misunderstanding. The $ve got nothing on me.9 6'ka , hone , # will call #an Saunders right awa < /nd # did.

# did ever thing # possibl could to inspire confidence in Tom the motherfucker, because of the one thing # wanted > oka , two things # wanted5 'ne, was that # get Ieneral %ower of /ttorne , where # have full control of all Tom$s affairs and mone . Two, was that if Tom got bail, he ma piece things together and seek revenge, so # was desperate for him not to get bail. Ne)t, # needed to work on his attorne . #an Saunders was a si)t "something man who, according to Tom, had a penchant for double .s, he wasn$t fuss whether it was silicone or saline, but he liked them ounger than twent "five. 7e also worked hard, was an e)cellent attorne , but was highl driven b the dollar, which came before ever thing else. *earing a push up bra, hooker heels and a belt for a skirt, even though # knew that at his age onl his arteries would get hard, # tottered into #an$s Saunders office. 6'h, Fr Saunders,9 # said wringing m hands, 6# do worr about our fees. Tom has full control of all monies and # fear that # ma not be able to pa :9 6That$s no problem,9 he said to m push up bra. 6# will get ou a I%/ signed right awa so that ou have full access to all his funds. # will need a down pa ment of twent grand, ou do understand that, sweetheart89 6;ust twent 8 # allocated thirt to be on the safe side, #an.9 6*ell, eah: it would be eventuall be more like fift , darlin$.9 6Tell ou what, wh don$t # give ou fift for :# dunno,9 # tucked m hair behind m ears and batted m e elashes at him, 6safekeeping*# do hate handling mone . #t$s too much for m twent " five" ear"old brain.9 # let out a giggle. #t was fun watching him salivate. *hen # left his office, he walked me out to m car and # was reall hopeful about the power of attorne . 6Take care now, darling,9 he said and smacked me pla full on m butt. 6'ooh<9 /nother girlish giggle escaped me. To m utter !o , he showed up at m door hours later with a power of attorne from Tom. 6Iot it<9 he said, waving it at me. Thrilled, # invited him in and offered him whisk , which he accepted. /s he drank, # =uizzed him about the power of attorne . 7is response was music to m ears > the power of attorne permitted me to dispose of an of our assets if # need to and it gave me complete control over all Tom$s monies. E)cellent. # wanted to rub m hands with glee. The moment he left, after giving me a hug and copping a good feel of m arse, # called in real estate agents and got valuations on all three of our residential properties. Then # called in a business broker and got a valuation on Tom$s business, as well as the commercial building he owned. # told them all to round up their bu ers cos # will know in da s if the can start selling. The did and badgered me to allow them to show the properties to prospective bu ers. #f Tom found out about m calling in agents and =uestioned me about it, # would have told him that # needed to ensure we had enough mone to pa for his defense and wasn$t sure which propert would sell =uickl . /ll # was doing right was lining up m ducks and getting read to li=uidate our assets to help his guilt arse. The thing that bothered me the most > would Tom make bail8 #f he made bail, # was in a trouble because b now, he was probabl aware that he was being framed and it was !ust a matter of time that he worked out who reall was being the magnificent framing. ,ut, the Iods were smiling down on me, because :bail was denied< # was so e)cited, # te)ted Soong filling her in on what had happened thus far. She in turn would forward m te)t to ,ear, as arranged.

*hen # visited Tom in !ail, m crocodile tears flowed. 67ow do # manage this8 #t$s too much for me to handle. #$m scared, Tom.9 6/rena, don$t worr . #$m asking for a speed trial because # am being framed. # will be ac=uitted, # know that for a fact. #t$s the dumb cops, # think the are framing me for some reason. 9 The dog didn$t even suspect me8 *as # that dumb to him8 That insignificant8 Evidentl # was. Shucks< *ell, # shivered in anticipation for that da when he had his gigantic revelation > it was his stupid, doormat of a wife. She grew a spine and fought back > got his arse thrown in !ail.

Chapter $wenty
# didn$t have to testif at Tom$s trial if # didn$t want to, as # was Tom$s wife and # was protected b spousal privilege. 7owever, # was his alibi and # was adamant when =uestioned b Tom$s attorne that he was with me during the time of the shooting. ,ut when the prosecution =uestioned me, # became flak , bit m nails, turned red in the face, looked towards the left of the ceiling and imparted hope that Tom was l ing about his whereabouts and alibi, and so was #. Even with the detectives, # wouldn$t make e e"contact and appeared flustered. So much so that a female detective took me aside. 6# know how hard this must be for ou considering our histor > the abuse ou suffered under him. ,ut here is our chance to do the right thing, blah< blah< ,lah<9 .etective ,enson said. 'ka , her name wasn$t .etective ,enson, but she reminded me so much of Fariska 7argite from Law and +rder*& # nodded, fought back tears and said, 6# thought he was with me, but now :9 /s the =uestioned me, # let it slip that # heard Tom and ?obus argue over the phone a few da s earlier > something about ?obus calling me while he was in hospital. # knew that it would be a matter of time before the found out that # had visited ?obus in hospital. 1anita would probabl tell them that ?obus didn$t want Tom to know that he was calling me. The e)changed e)cited glances. 6.id he call ou while he was in hospital89 6-es. Said he had something to tell me but, he never got a chance to talk to me as his machine went off.9 6.o ou have an idea what it was about89 # nodded. 67e once mentioned something about Tom cheating on me and ma be now that the had a fall"out, ?obus wanted to tell me all about it. +at on Tom.9 6(all out, eh89 6-eah.9 6/nd how did ou feel about Tom$s affair89 6# don$t reall believe he did. Tom would never cheat on me. 7e loved me. ,ut if he did, it was in the past. # saw someone, Tom saw someone > it$s over. Time to move on. Tom and # are together now. *e$re looking ahead, moving on. 9 The stared blankl at me. 6So, do ou think Tom found out that ?obus had called ou89 6# don$t know. 7e ma have.9 # shrugged. 7app with m damning answers, the e)cited detectives went on their merr wa . *ith Tom out of the house, *arren and # were reall rela)ed and ver comfortable in our lu)ur surroundings. *e had plasma televisions in !ust about ever room, a hot tub, satellite TL, lu)ur beds, a solar heated pool, a state"of"the"art kitchen among other things, how could we not be comf 8 6Fum, is dadd coming back89 *arren asked. 6*h , hon, do ou want him to89 7e shook his head slowl . 6*h 8 # thought things were cool with ou both.9 6#t was, but #$m alwa s scared around him. /nd # don$t like to dress up all the time. F clothes are scratch .9 6*ould ou prefer if he never came back89 7e nodded. # gave him a hug, wishing such a little bo didn$t have to feel such fear of his own father.

/s for ,ear, # missed him so much, # ached for him. 7ow # wished # could have had him around to share all this lu)ur and comfort with me. /fter all, he was now m soul"mate. 'ne more week, then we would meet at Soong$s house. # could hardl wait. *hen we saw each other, we hugged and kissed and spent all our time in each other$s arms. 6&ome sta with me,9 # said. 6Nope.9 6&$mon. ;ust one night. # need ou. /nd bedsides #$m selling the house soon.9 7e eventuall spent a night with me. Then another, and another. ,ear and # invited Soong and Files for dinner, had a feast, then climbed into the hot tub and had fun. OOOO 6&an # help ou89 # asked the small man wearing all black and standing on m doorstep. 7e waved a ellow envelope at me. 6# need pa ment and Fr ,otha, he is not answering his phone and # heard he$s in !ail. #$ve done all the work and :9 6*hat$s this all about89 6#$m a private investigator and #$ve done all:9 6%rivate investigator89 F ears pricked. This must have been the gu following me< 6'ka ,9 # said, eager to get rid of him. 67ow much does he owe ou8 7e hesitated then said, 6(ifteen hundred dollars.9 # acted like # was going to close the door on him. 6'ka , one thousand, then<9 # e ed the man, then the ellow bulging envelope in his hand. 6(ine. 1et me take a look and if it$s worth it, # will cut ou a che=ue right now.9 7e handed me the envelope. # tore it open and went through it. /s # did, # turned ashen and had to stead m self b gripping onto the table. # had e)pected stuff on me, m whereabouts, but inside was a full report on ,ear. %hotos, information about his real name, the school$s he$d attended, his place of work, who he reported to, his bank account details, his car > the most in"depth report # had ever seen. #t scared me that Tom had this kind of information on ,ear. *hat was he planning to do with it8 Then photos of /m , her school, at ballet classes, on a !ungle"g m, in the supermarket with a oung woman who # assumed was /m $s mother. The car the woman drove, their house. 6See89 Nin!a said. Tr ing to keep a poker"face, # nodded, then went on to hand him a che=ue. The moment he left, # called ,ear and told him about the envelope. 7e was e=uall mortified that his ever move was monitored. Tom was after ,ear in a huge wa , it seemed. ,et he planned to do something horrific to ,ear. #t was a damn good thing he was behind bars. OOOO # had been waiting for this da since ?obus confirmed that Tom had killed m bab , so when # was called to the witness stand, # was smiling inside. #an Saunders, Tom$s attorne =uestioned me first and of course, # was fluent with m answers. *hen the prosecution =uestioned me, to Tom$s horror, # melted like ice"cream in the sun. # !ust fell to pieces. 6No, # can$t be certain that Tom was with me all night. ,ut # think he was. Fa be.9 6-es, Tom gave me a bag of clothes and asked to get rid of it. Said that the had fish bait on it and smelled, so # threw it awa .9

6-es, Tom and ?obus did argue a lot.9 (inall , 6-es :Tom did tell me to tell police that he was with me all night. ,ut it wasn$t like he was forcing me to. 7e !ust asked me to ou know, tell :9 6/renaaaa<9 Tom screamed. 6*hat the hell is wrong with ou89 9 #$m so sorr , Tom,9 # sobbed, 6# have to tell the truth.9 6&ontain our client,9 the !udge elled to #an Saunders. 6The will send me to !ail for per!ur , Tom. #$m so sorr , but # have to tell the truth.9 6-ou l ing bitch< -ou$re such a liar< # don$t believe it.9 # sobbed into m lac white handkerchief as he hurled abuse at me. *ell, it was ?leene) actuall , but # pretended that it was a white, lac handkerchief, like #$d seen them use in the movies. 67e$s not a bad man,9 # sniffed to the !ur , 6he :he !ust has a temper, that$s all.9 6Shaddup< Shaddup< Shaddup<9 Tom screamed as the bailiffs dragged him out of court. 6# will get ou, /rena. # will kill ou, # promise<9 *ith tears in m e es, # went on to give m testimon . #an Saunders glared at me before he cross"e)amined me. 6-ou paint a picture of our husband being a violent man, et ou went back to him89 # take m time in answering. 67e had a temper and it was scar , es, but he told me that he would change and he did change. #$ve been with him for almost a month and he never hit me or hit m son once, never threatened to put m son out at night in the dark, never threatened to kill me, e)cept now, never screamed at me once in the last thirt da s, e)cept now. 7e reall has changed.9 # know e)actl how # sounded > like # was a victim who without realizing it, went on to paint Tom as a monster, and # bet #an Saunders regretted =uestioning me. #n fact, # bet he regretted putting me on the stand. 6No further =uestions,9 #an Saunders said, his lips a thin line. The prosecution was not finished with me. 6,esides toda , did our husband at an time threaten to kill ou8$ 6-: es. ,ut what does that have to do :89 6-et ou went back to him8 #n spite of all of :9 6# loved m husband in spite of ever thing, es. *e lost a child and both of us were broken. #t made sense for me to tr and make it work.9 6So wh did ou lie about our husband$s whereabouts89 6# didn$t lie when # made that initial statement. # thought it was correct. ,ut after a while, things didn$t add up and:look # don$t want to go back to !ail for per!ur . # have a son who needs me. # need to tell the truth. F husband ma not have been home during the time of the murder, but # am confident that he didn$t kill ?obus and that he will be found not guilt .9 'utside the courtroom, #an Saunders took me aside. 6-our testimon was e)tremel damaging to Tom$s case, /rena. #s there something # should know89 # hesitated, then burst into tears. 6Tom told me that he killed ?obus and that if # said an thing he$d kill me. #$m finding it reall hard to live with ?obus$s murder on m conscience.9 67e told ou that he killed ?obus89 6-es, but # don$t believe he did. 7e$s not a murderer. /nd if ou tell him # told ou that, when he comes home, he$s going to beat the da lights out of me, #an.9 6'h, darlin$, somehow # don$t think he$s coming home.9 6*hat do ou mean, #an89 #an sighs. 6The glove with his .N/ on it, the old lad across the street confirming that a black %orsche was parked outside her house around the time of the murder, the murder weapon in Tom$s house, the phone calls Tom made around the time of the murder which puts him outside his ?obus$s house, the cocaine with his fingerprints on it and ?obus$s, and now our testimon > our inabilit to alibi him.9 7e took off his glasses and rubbed his e es. 6*hat can # do to help, #an8 Tell me, !ust tell me.9 6%ra ,9 he said before he walked awa .

6'n m knees89 # asked his back. 7e gave a dismissive wave but didn$t look back. 6'ka , then:9 Two weeks later, after onl an hour of deliberation, the !ur returned with a verdict. 'n the charge of first degree murder :drum roll please:guilt < Tom$s head lolled, then he turned and glared at me. # deadpanned for a moment as # let victor wash over me, then started wailing. Tom was sentenced to thirt "three ears for the murder. The cocaine charges added another thirteen ears, to be served consecutively. Total: fift "si) ears with parole onl after twent five ears. # could live with that. The sa revenge is sweet. #t$s not. #t$s very sweet. Fa be even bittersweet. The in!ustice of it all > an innocent man behind bars for a crime he didn$t commit. True, but let$s not forget how it all started > he was a sociopath, a ps chopath who thought nothing of killing his own child. 7e was a murderer and he belong in prison. *hen # stepped out of court, # stood aside and closed m e es. # pictured m bab Sasha$s angelic face, her melodious gurgles, her smile that melted hearts and a dr sob escaped me. Sasha my baby, ' did it& ' avenged you, sweetheart& ' will never forget you& ,ou live in my heart& # drove home to ,ear$s open arms. 7e cracked open a bottle of &hampagne. 6To bab Sasha,9 he said in a solemn voice. 6To beautiful Sasha,9 # said, then embraced m soul mate who murdered for me. *arren was now safe. ,ear was now safe. # was now safe. 61et$s go tell *arren the good news,9 # murmured. 6That his dadd is never coming back.9 ,ear chuckled. 6# think ou$re gonna make his da .9 6Never ever89 *arren asked, his e es wide with anticipation. 6Never ever, sweetheart.9 6Not even for a visit89 6Not even for a visit, bab .9 6-ou promise mum89 6# do, *arren. # promise.9 *arren smiled then looked at ,ear. 6-ou gonna be m dad89 ,ear smiled at me, then tossed his hair. 6#$m almost sure # am.9 6*ill # be able to call ou dad, like /m does89 ,ear$s smile disappeared and he swallowed hard. 6-es, champ. ,ut ou can call me that now, if ou like. *e can pla pretend. /nd :it makes me feel adored.9 The hugged, while # watched, m tears falling into m glass and mingling with m ?ristal.

Chapter $wenty-'ne
# severed all ties with Tom and stopped contact with him. #gnored all his pleas to visit him that #an Saunders, his attorne fre=uentl passed onto me. F divorce went through =uite =uickl due to the fact that m husband was incarcerated and that we had alread had a long"term separation. So, finall , something # never thought would ever happen ># was free. (ree in ever sense of the word. # felt like # had ingested some mind"altering, illegal drug > # was !ust so high on !ust life. *hat made it different this time was that Tom was safel behind bars, # was with a man who shared a blood"secret with me and # had all the mone # needed. # couldn$t ask for an thing more. E)cept for m beloved bab Sasha. # would have given all m freedom to have her back in m arms. ,ut that wasn$t going to happen. *hen ,ear asked me to marr him, we were in South /frica en!o ing a wonderful holida . /ccompan ing us was /m , ,ear$s daughter and that made it all !ust perfect for both of us. *e were on Safari with m famil when ,ear turned to me. 6*ill ou marr me8 ,e a gun to m holster8 7uh8 #$m reall looking forwards to !umping on 'prah$s couch.9 # laughed and took his face in m hands. 6-es<9 # kissed his lips. *e got married two da s later in South /frica with our kids and m famil > a simple but beautiful wedding, so it was a perfect da . /nd oh, ever thing was !ust :perfect.

Chapter $wenty-$wo
*hen # returned to S dne , # got several messages from #an Saunders that Tom wanted to see me. 'n a cloud da , # got into m car and drove to Silverwater &orrection &entre, m previous abode and currentl Tom$s. To m delight, his e e was black and he sported some serious bruises on his face. 67i, hone ,9 # said in a voice similar to Soong$s. 6-ou look like shiiiit. 7e , have ou been having se) here8 &heating on me89 # grinned. 6Sill me, # forgot, #$m no longer our wife.9 # lifted up m hand and flashed him m wedding ring. 6#$m married now to the cop.9 7e glared at me. 6# know that it was ou who framed me,9 he said in a low voice. # was aware that conversations ma be monitored so # was careful as to what # said. 6*hatchu mean, dear8 7e , ou should tr green concealer. # have some at home, # should have brought ou some had # known someone was tearing ou a new one. 9 # winked. 6/nd # know why ou did it,9 he continued, ignoring m !ibe. 6That night, he was in m bed fucking ou. #t wasn$t a dream, he was there, naked and in my bed.9 6K%y bed&! -ou sound like one of the Ioldilocks bears.9 7is !aw set. 6'hmigod< -ou are smart< /nd tell me, Tombelina dear, how did this make ou feel89 F voice was mocking. *ith a murderous look on his face, he continued. 67e helped ou. -ou aren$t smart enough to pull off something so huge on our own. 7e killed ?obus, then planted all that shit in m house. That night, # had a dream ou were fucking him right ne)t to me, in m ver bed. ,ut it wasn$t a dream > it was real > after helping ou, he further disrespected me b fucking ou in m bed while # slept. *hat a slut ou are.9 6&heap,9 # said. 6*hat89 # leaned in. 6# am a cheap slut.9 # grinned, then winked. 6&heap, cheap<9 # was en!o ing this. 6,ut:he couldn$t have helped me.9 6*h not89 6&os he$s a cop remember8 The $re all reall dumb according to ou.9 7e sat back and looked at me, his lips in a thin white line. # gasped. 6-ou$re losing our hair, Tombelina.9 6Stop calling me that<9 6Ioing bald. 'hmigod< .oes Fedicare cover hair implants89 6,ecause # took awa something ou loved, right89 he said, ignoring m !ibes. # deadpanned at the mention of Sasha, even though # felt like # was hit in the face with a cement brick. 7e leaned in and dropped his voice. 61et me tell ou something > she woke up and cried for ou.9 7e sat back and smiled as the knife drove deep into m alread wounded heart. ,ou motherfucker- ,ou son of a bitch- ,ou evil bastard of a cunt# wanted to vomit at his words. # wanted to !ump over the solid glass wall and kill him with m bare hands. # wanted to pull the knife out of m heart and stab him over and over again, till he was no more, till he la in a blood , lifeless heap. ,ut, he was behind bars and ?obus was dead, # had to remember that. Somehow, # managed to fake a smile then continued. 6#$ve sold all our properties > the houses, the business, the building, the cars, the furniture > ever thing. # got P.P million.9 6*hat8< The were worth at least fifteen.9 6-eah, # could have got more, but # let it go cheap cheap > he #$m using that word a lot toda . See # don$t have to split with ou. -ou get zilch and the mone is gone< # let it go cos # wanted to

go on hone moon with m new lover. *ell, sort of > we went on hone moon then got married. The one ou dreamt about, the cop.9 Tom$s e es hooded and his nostrils flared. 6-ou$re using all m hard"earned mone on that bastard89 6-eah. #$ve bought him a &orvette too. /nd, a !et ski. 7e loves it.9 # smiled as he struggled to contain himself. 60sing our hard"earned mone , we$re going to .isne land too.9 # leaned in and dropped m voice. 6*e swam naked the beach and fucked in the water and it was awesome, # tell ou, Tombelina. # wondered :9 6Stop calling me that<9 6:wh # didn$t do that sooner. *hat a rush.9 # shivered with delight. 6'h, talking about me fucking ,ear in the water, # paid the private investigator ou hired to sp on ,ear and his child, so ou owe me a thousand dollars. ,ut #$m happ to accept a #'0.9 7e rubbed his chin slowl . 6.idn$t go according to plan in the end, eh, Tombelina89 # smiled. 6%oor ou > didn$t get to hurt the gu who was porking our wife, huh8 The gu who was disrespecting ou and zoning in on our famil . 7e got awa with murder, huh89 F smile grew bigger. 6%oor Tombelina.9 6-ou$re such a whore.9 6'h, talking about whore, how$s m hair, Tombelina89 # brought it forward and stroked it. 6#t$s long and almost blonde these da s. Nice huh89 7e shook his head and let out a mirthless chuckle. 6-ou fucked me over. ,ou< who$d have thought89 6Such a harsh thing to sa , Tom. ,ut # want ou to know that ever time we open a bottle of ?ristal or Foet, we first drink to ou out of respect for ou > ou know our mone :8 Then we toast to other things. 'h and we$re moving awa from S dne forever so unfortunatel , ou will never see *arren again. #$m going to tell him that ou passed awa while giving oral se) to a man with sevent "si) tattoos.9 6*haaat89 7is breathing becomes labored. 6'h, and one final thing > remember when ou said that ou were so smart, ou outsmarted the police and shit8 Iuess what, ou weren$t reall .9 6-ou fucking bitch<9 6See ou in fift or ma be twent if ou survive !ail and the intercourse. Such a prett bo like ou will definitel be getting our fair share of admirers here. .on$t forget to think %amela /nderson when ou$re giving oral. +emember that video8 That$s how ou must look when ou$re doing it. 1ike ou want to. 1ike ou en!o it.9 6-ou mother(0&?#NI *7'+E<9 67e , # bet our dance card is alwa s full8 'h, and don$t forget now, if ou drop our soap, leave it. ,etter get a soap"on"a"rope.9 # laughed some more as the guards surrounded us, alerted b his shouting. 6En!o our solitar , now,9 # whispered, 6and remember the ke s words to success :%amela /nderson.9 # sang the last part, then fell about laughing. 6# *#11 F0+.E+ -'0 'NE ./-, -'0 (0&?#NI &7E/% S10T<9 he screamed as the guard dragged his arse awa . 6-'0 .'N$T ?N'* *7' -'0 /+E (0&?#NI *#T7<9 6, e Tombelina and thanks a million for the mone . 'h, # mean, thanks P.P million. Fuch appreciated.9 6-'0 ,######T&7<9 /s # walked awa , # thought about victor > how could # claim victor when # lost m bab 8 *hen # lost a part of me8 Nobod won in this whole sordid mess. ,ut Tom did have the last word after all > he said that he would hurt me in such a wa that # would never be the same again. 7e was right, after ou lose a child, ou can never be whole again.

,ut, as m shrink pointed out, # do have another child, *arren, who is here right now and who desperatel needs me. # have to find a wa to move on and ma be pretend to be whole. /s for Tom, he was behind bars for a crime he did not commit and ' put him there. *ell, ,ear and #. # couldn$t have done it without m bab bear. Fa be we could claim a kernel of victor after all8 *hen # stepped out of the prison, the clouds had vanished and the sun was soft and caressing on m bare shoulders. *hat a beautiful da it was. *hat a beautiful life it was going to be. /s # walked to m car, the song )alking on Sunshine b ?atrina and the *aves pla ed in m head and # bopped to it. Time to feel good, oh eah< EN.

.here to %ind Eve Rabi online

*ebsite5 http5JJeverabi.wordpress.comJ (acebook5 http5JJwww.facebook.comJeve.rabi ,log5 http5JJeverabi.wordpress.comJ Smashwords5 https5JJwww.smashwords.comJprofileJviewJeverabiauthor
Books by Eve Rabi

+o al .eception " / %alace (ull of 1iars " ,ook 4 +o al .eception " / %alace (ull of 1iars " ,ook 2 ,urn's *orld " ,ook 4 ,urn's *orld " ,ook 2 ,urn's *orld " ,ook N ,urn's *orld " ,ook R &/%T0+E. " F Sworn Enem , F Secret 1over " ,ook 4 &/%T0+E. " F Sworn Enem , F Secret 1over " ,ook 2 Iringa " #n the &lutches of a +uthless .rug"1ord " ,ook 4 Iringa " #n the &lutches of a +uthless .rug"1ord " ,ook 2 Iringa " #n the &lutches of a +uthless .rug"1ord " ,ook N Iringa " #n the &lutches of a +uthless .rug"1ord " ,ook R T7E &7E/T " / Tale of 1ies and #nfidelit " ,ook 4 T7E &7E/T " / Tale of 1ies and #nfidelit " ,ook 2 -'0 *#11 %/- > She 1eft 7er /busive 7usband, 7e Took +evenge.