CONTENTS Cover Title Page 1: Facebook Hacking Is So Sophomore Year : !

p "or a Challenge# $o%n "or the $ee& ': Fair Pla( ): Fleas an& Thank Yo*+ ,: No Time -ike the Present .: /en an& No% 0: No Place -ike Home 1: 2ea*t( Sleep Is Overrate& 3: 4 Total 5aste o" a Pe&ic*re 16: T*rnabo*t Is Fair Pla( 11: Yo* Can $ance I" Yo* 5ant To 1 : S*rprise# S*rprise 1': 7egrets Onl( 1): 8*st 2et%een !s 4ckno%le&gments E9cerpt "rom The -(ing :ame Prolog*e 1: The $ea& 7inger 4bo*t the 4*thor Cre&its Cop(right 2ack 4&s 4bo*t the P*blisher

F4CE2OO; H4C;IN: IS SO SOPHO<O7E YE47 It=s a t(pical Sat*r&a( a"ternoon# an& m( best "rien&s Charlotte Chamberlain an& <a&eline >ega an& I are sitting o*tsi&e -a Paloma Co*ntr( Cl*b in T*cson# 4ri?ona# %here %e all live@ It=s the last "e% %eeks o" s*mmer be"ore %e start o*r A*nior (ear an& %e=re not losing a secon& o" tanning time@ 5e=re all %earing o*r bran&Bne% <issoni bikinis that are sort o" match(Bmatch( b*t not C*ite# the air smells like 2anana 2oat s*nscreen an& "reshl( c*t limes in the neighboring moms= cocktails# an& the highB pitche& sC*eals "rom the ki&&ie pool o"" to the le"t carr( across the neatl( lan&scape& stone patios@ 4s %e sip Perrier thro*gh skinn( re& stra%s Dthis place is s*perBstrict abo*t *n&erage &rinkersDChar takes a breath@ ESo I have an i&ea "or the ne9t prank "or the -(ing :ame# S*tton#F she sa(s# t*rning to me@ E5e go on Facebook# an&DF ENo# no# no#F I c*t her o""# lo%ering m( cop( o" !s 5eekl( to m( chest@ E5e=ve &one the Facebook thing to &eath# Char@ It=s too eas(@ The -(ing :ame is abo*t originalit(# remember+F Charlotte "l*shes# %hich A*st makes her "reckles stan& o*t more@ EIt %as a variation on a theme# obvio*sl(@F She p*shes her Chloe aviators to the top o" her hea& an& o""ers a ver( %ellBpractice& careless shr*g that almost has me convince& she &oesn=t care abo*t m( opinion@ The thing is# tho*gh# she &oes@ She an& <a&eline both G as %ell as ever(one else at Hollier High@ Not that I=m tr(ing to boast or an(thing@ That=s A*st the %a( it is@ E>ariation on a theme G ho%+F I prompt@ ES*ch as G changing Nisha 2anerAee=s pro"ile pict*re to -in&sa( -ohan=s latest m*g shot+F Char s*ggests# snickering@ From m( le"t# <a&eline# %hose &ark hair is gathere& back into a mess( knot# a&A*sts the ties on her crochete& bikini=s halter top@ EIt=& be an improvement on that tennis team gro*p shot she=s got no%@ She looks totall( &erange& in it@F I cross an& *ncross m( long legs# %hich are more m*sc*lar than <a&s=s lithe ballerina ones@ EShe can=t help it@ Nisha is &erange&@F Nisha 2anerAee is a tightl( %o*n&# C*asiBpop*lar girl %ho=s also m( biggest tennis rival@ I sit *p@ EIt=s too smallBtime# tho*gh@ The "irst -(ing :ame prank o" the (ear has to be big@ No e9ceptions@F <( best "rien&s re"lect on this "or a moment# kno%ing I=m right@ <a&s# Char# an& I starte& the -(ing :ame back in si9th gra&e &*ring a sleepover# %anting to prank all o" the c*te g*(s in o*r class@ 5e %ere the most pop*lar girls in school an& %e co*l& &o something like that# kno%ing the(=& A*st "all over *s even more@ 4"ter that "irst prankD%aterBballooning them "rom the school roo"D%e p*lle& other smallBtime pranks# like gl*ing -ori Sanche?=s locker sh*t or slipping a love letter "rom $arien Holbrook# the biggest heartthrob "rom that (ear# into the &esk o" <iran&a Foos# a hopeless &ork@ The pranks have escalate& since then# some o" them &o%nright scar( an& illegal@ Still# %e get a%a( %ith most o" it@ 4n& ever(one at school e9pects *s to p*sh the bo*n&aries@ 5hich means %e can=t &o something lame like s%itch a Facebook pro"ile pict*re@ EThat remin&s me#F Charlotte sa(s# changing the s*bAect@ EThe T%itter T%ins %ant to kno% i" %e=re going to Nisha=s backBtoBschool part( on Th*rs&a(@F

I roll m( e(es@ ENot i" the( are@F :abriella an& -ilianna Fiorello# an& their constant a&&iction to their phones an& all "orms o" social net%orking# are anno(ance personi"ie&@ Their &esperation to get in on the -(ing :ame reeks %orse than the latest >iktor an& 7ol" Flo%erbomb per"*me# %hich# "ittingl(# is their signat*re scent this s*mmer@ Not that I blame them "or tr(ing so har& to get in# o" co*rse@ Ever(one %ants to be in o*r cliC*e@ 2*t I tol& the T%itter T%ins the same thing I tell ever(one: <embership is strictl( limite& to three# <a&eline# Charlotte# an& me@ No e9ceptions "or an(one@ No% Charlotte sits *p to "ace <a&eline an& me# a&A*sting the strap o" her oneBsho*l&er s%ims*it@ I haven=t sai& an(thing (et# b*t since Char starte& &ating :arrett 4*stin# she=s p*t on a "e% happ( po*n&s aro*n& her mi&&le# s*rel( "rom all the iceBcream o*tings an& "anc( &inner &ates the(=ve gone on@ Char eats %hen she=s in loveH that I kno% "or s*re@ E5e kin& o" have to go to Nisha=s#F Charlotte insists# che%ing tho*ght"*ll( on her lo%er lip@ EShe=s invite& the %hole tennis team# incl*&ing the seniors@ Yo* kno% ho% the team eats that st*"" *p@ I" (o* %ant to be captain over her# (o* sho*l& at least p*t in an appearance@F I sni""@ EI &on=t have to &o an(thing@F 2*t then I shr*g@ EOh# %hatever@ I=ll go@ She=ll &e"initel( have a %a( better t*rno*t i" people kno% %e=re going# an& -a*rel=s been %hining abo*t %anting me there@F 4t that# I glance to%ar& the snack bar@ -a*rel# m( a&optive sister# is leaning against the %in&o%# repeating the or&er %e gave her# her bro% "*rro%e& in concentration@ 5e=& given her a ton o" st*"" to rememberDthe brea& ha& to be the cl*b=s signat*re gl*tenB"ree variet( an& the "r*it sala& co*l& contain onl( grapes# pineapple# an& star "r*itDno melon or stra%berries@ I=m s*re she sees it as a test# b*t I A*st %ante& a "e% e9tra min*tes o" privac( so %e co*l& talk -(ing :ame pranks@ -a*rel practicall( invente& the phrase hangerBon@ She %as so thrille& that I=& begr*&gingl( sai& she co*l& Aoin *s at the pool to&a( that she imme&iatel( poste& it as her stat*s on Facebook@ I s*ppose a lot o" girls %o*l& be thrille& that their little sisters a&mire& them so m*ch# b*t "or me# it=s a little s*""ocating@ <a&eline=s cheer( voice interr*pts m( tho*ghts@ ESo it=s settle&@ 5e=ll go@ Nisha=s lame# b*t %e=ll make it "*n@F EFine# great@F I %ave m( han& in "ront o" m( "ace@ E5e=ll go to Nisha=s@ It=ll be like comm*nit( service@ 2*t %a( more important than that is the ina*g*ral -(ing :ame prank@F I &r*m m( %atermelonBtippe& "ingernails against the iron arm o" m( chaise@ E5ho sho*l& the target be+F I grin %icke&l( in Charlotte=s &irection@ E:arrett+F Charlotte sets her mo*th in a line# her cheeks t*rning as re& as her hair@ E$on=t (o* &are# S*tton@F EOka(# oka(#F I sa(# &eci&ing to go eas( on her@ :arrett is# a"ter all# Char=s "irst 2ig 2o("rien&@ E5hat abo*t bo(s o" the nonBbo("rien& variet(+F <a&eline s*ggests@ E2o(s o" the &irt(# evilBsc*mbagB&o*cheBlor& variet(+F I raise m( e(ebro%@ E4re %e talking abo*t a certain li"eg*ar&# <a&s+F I glance over at Finn Ha&le(# the tanne&# m*scle&# blon&B"romBtheBs*n bo( %ho sits atop the li"eg*ar& stan& near the &iving %ell@ Finn %as <a&s=s inten&e& s*mmer "ling# an& he seeme& to be into her# too# te9ting her

reg*larl(# p*tting his arm aro*n& her %henever he sa% her# even bringing her treats "rom the snack bar@ 2*t then %e ca*ght him in a G private lesson %ith an o""B&*t( a* pair on the tennis co*rts a"ter ho*rs a %eek ago@ Eno*gh sai&@ EThat=s not a ba& i&ea#F I sa(# narro%ing m( e(es on Finn@ I can=t let g*(s go aro*n& thinking the( can scre% %ith m( "rien&s@ Especiall( not "or nannies %hose i&ea o" personal st(le is "a*9Bhipster ;e&s@ E2*t I still &on=t think he=s a big eno*gh target#F I sa( a"ter a moment@ I pat <a&s=s leg@ EHo% abo*t thisD%e report him to the management "or smoking pot on &*t(+F <a&s cocks her hea&@ E4 Aoint in his locker+F EThat=s %hat I %as thinking#F I sa(# giving her a high "ive@ Char makes a "ace@ E2*t g*(s# that=s a repeat@ 5e &i& that to $ave 8a""re( last spring@F EYeah# b*t GF I trail o""# m( ga?e on someone across the pool@ He=s tall# %ith &ark hair# 2eckhamBesC*e sho*l&ers# an& an Ian Somerhal&er broo&ing thing going on@ His lean torso is tanne& an& ripple& %ith m*scles# an& his eas( lope is completel( *nBignorableDever( girl he passes gives him an appreciative stare# an& he takes the time to greet C*ite a "e% o" them@ <( competitive streak a%akens insi&e me@ This g*( co*l& be a conten&er "or a s*mmer "ling o" m( o%n# even tho*gh s*mmer=s almost overDI=ve been %eighing m( options "or a %hile no%@ There %as a hal" secon& last %eek %hen 4i&an :rove# a lacrosse pla(er %ho=s been into me since seventh gra&e# looke& like a "rontBr*nner since I=m a s*cker "or cal" m*scles@ 2*t no%# I=m not so s*re@ <r@ >ampire $iaries might A*st have taken the lea&@ I "lick m( lo%# shin( p*sh m( s*nglasses *p &elight# he=s %alking bare hip@ He=s coming co*l& be so eas(+ pon(tail over one sho*l&er as cas*all( as I can an& m( nose "or ma9im*m intimi&ation "actor@ To m( over@ I tilt m( bo&( an& p*t m( han& on a tanne&# right to%ar& me@ 4n& no% he=s stopping@ 5ho kne% this

EHe(# S*tton@ Ho%=s it going+F the bo( sa(s# o""ering an eas( smile@ Then he glances to the le"t@ EHe(# Char@ He(# <a&s#F he sa(s# almost as an a"tertho*ght@ EHe(#F Char sa(s# so*n&ing bore&@ 2*t I=m con"*se&@ Ho% &oes this g*( kno% m( name# all o" o*r names+ 4n& then# as I look at him# something clicks@ <( Aa% nearl( &rops@ 2*t G %ait@ There=s no %a(@ This can=t beD EHe(# Tha(er#F <a&s sa(s# as i" ans%ering m( tho*ghts@ It=s <a&eline=s (o*nger brother@ I "i&&le %ith m( s*nglasses to &isg*ise m( *tter shock@ I=& "orgotten that <a&s=s bab( brother# %hom I=& never given the time o" &a( be"ore# ha& ret*rne& "rom soccer camp last night@ 5hat the hell %ere the( "ee&ing them there+ Is this serio*sl( the same skinn( ki& %ho never spoke+ Tha(er is still staring at me@ EFin&ing o*t a lot o" goo& st*"" abo*t 5ill an& ;ate# S*tton+F For a moment# m( min& is blankDI have no i&ea %hat he=s talking abo*t@ Then I look at the !s 5eekl( still overt*rne& on m( lap@ On the cover is the

ro(al co*ple at a ball@ EOBoh#F I sa( haltingl(# like I=ve never spoken to a bo( in m( li"e@ I can "eel the bl*sh rising to m( cheeks@ E!m GF Tha(er grins# perhaps kno%ing that he=s ma&e me tong*eBtie&@ 2e"ore soccer camp# he %o*l& never &o something like this@ 2*t then again# that %as back %hen he ha& reg*lar# "reshmanBsi?e& sho*l&ers# e(es I never bothere& to reall( look into# an&# %ell# no voice@ I can=t even recall o*r last conversation@ It %as probabl( %hen he=& come over to see -a*rel# %ho=s been his best "rien& "or eons@ Ever( time I ans%ere& the &oor instea& o" her# his "ace %o*l& t*rn violet# an& he=& trip over his %or&s A*st like I=m &oing no%@ :et it together# S*tton# I tell m(sel"# an& I straighten *p@ 2o(s "all over me# not the other %a( aro*n&@ I peel the maga?ine "rom m( mi&ri"" an& o""er it to Tha(er@ EYo* %ant it+ I remember ho% cra?( (o* *se& to be "or <a&s=s ol& iss*es o" People@F Tha(er bl*shes@ EIt %as A*st that iss*e abo*t the Ol(mpic s%immers@F I giggle an& poke his cal"D%hich# I might a&&# is even se9ier than 4i&an=s@ E8*st a&mit it@ Yo* totall( love the celeb gossip@F Tha(er grins an& pokes me back@ E$o not@F E$o tooIF I sa(# n*&ging him %ith m( "oot@ Tha(er=s legs are rockBhar&@ This is starting to get "*n@ EYo* g*(s#F a voice sa(s "rom a "e% (ar&s a%a(@ 5hen I look *p# -a*rel stan&s there %ith a car&boar& bo9 "rom the snack bar in her han&s@ It=s "ille& %ith onl( so&as# tho*gh# none o" the %eir& items %e reC*este&@ EThe( &on=t have gl*tenB"ree brea&@ The(=ve never ha& gl*tenB"ree brea&@F E7eall(+F I blink innocentl(@ EI s%ear I ha& some last time I %as here@F EYep#F Char Aoins in@ EIt %as totall( &elish@F E4n& star "r*it+F -a*rel sticks o*t her lip in a po*t@ EThe( A*st la*ghe& at me %hen I aske& "or that@ The( &i&n=t even kno% %hat I %as talking abo*tIF I can=t help b*t e9plo&e into la*ghter@ Char "ollo%s s*it# an& then <a&s# an& the three o" *s are s*&&enl( a giggling mess@ -a*rel stan&s above *s looking "orlorn@ She t*rns to Tha(er %ith that &oeBe(e& e9pression she al%a(s has "or him@ -a*rel has ha& a cr*sh on Tha(er "orever@ EThe( tricke& me#F she %hines@ Tha(er=s pla("*l# "lirt( e9pression shi"ts into one o" anno(ance@ He shakes his hea&@ EYo* g*(s are horrible@ 5hen are (o* going to gro% *p+F He sa(s it lo*&l(# so that the %hole pool can hear@ 4 gasp &oesn=t rise *p in the cro%&# b*t there might as %ell be one@ Ever(one t*rns an& stares@ <a&s blinks as i" he=s slappe& her@ Charlotte raises her e(ebro%s@ I tr( m( har&est not to alter m( e9pression# b*t it=s almost impossible@ 2e"ore an( o" *s can sa( an(thing# Tha(er %aves his han& &ismissivel(# links his arm thro*gh -a*rel=s# an& stalks o"" to%ar& the &iving boar&@ 4"ter a moment# ever(one at the pool goes back to %hat the( %ere &oing@ 2*t neither I nor m( "rien&s can speak@ It=s one thing "or me to p*t the other t%o &o%n# an& occasionall(# %hen she=s "eeling "eist(# Char has even gotten

some goo& Aabs in at me that I=ve let sli&e@ 2*t someone=s little brother &issing *s+ Not cool@ Finall(# Charlotte sets &o%n her glass@ E5hat is *p %ith (o*r brother# <a&s+F <a&eline shakes her hea&@ EHe %as vote& <>P at soccer camp@ I g*ess he thinks he=s something no%@F She makes a "ace@ EHe is something else# all right#F I m*rm*r@ I tr( to so*n& anno(e&D%hich I am# o" co*rse@ 2*t I "eel some other things# too@ Things I &on=t %ant to a&mit to m(sel"@ It=s probabl( the s*n@ <a(be someone spike& m( &rink@ 2*t as I %atch Tha(er sa*ntering o"" %ith -a*rel# grinning la?il( at ever( girl in his path# I "eel the &istinct r*mblings o" an emotion that hasn=t hit me in a long# long time@ 8ealo*s(@

!P FO7 4 CH4--EN:E# $O5N FO7 THE $EE$ Here=s the thing abo*t me an& parties: Even the ones I &on=t %ant to go to I have to look smoking hot "or@ 4s in# the hottest girl thereDthat=s ho% I keep m( stat*s# a"ter all@ 2*t on S*n&a(# as <a&s an& I sco*r the racks at 8olie# o*r "avorite bo*tiC*e# the pickings are so slim I=m consi&ering shopli"ting a <issoni scar" or t%o in protest@ The place is packe&# too# so ma(be that has something to &o %ith it@ 4ll three o" *s are "r*strate&D<a&eline=s on her secon& %alkBthro*gh o" the "loor# an& Charlotte=s st*ck in the &ressing room %restling %ith the slit sleeves on a (ello% silk Eli?abeth an& 8ames mini&ress@ I e(e a ro% o" can&(Bcolore& 2*tter nail polish bottles on the glassBtop &ispla( table@ The t*rC*oise has possibilities@ 4 ga%k( br*nette in a limeBgreen s*n&ress an& gla&iator san&als looks like she=s consi&ering approaching the &ispla(# b*t a glare "rom me sen&s her back to%ar& the %all o" belts instea&@ I &e"tl( s%eep the t*rC*oise polish "rom the table into m( gra( <i* <i* satchel@ $one an& &one@ No one even looke& m( %a(@ E!gh#F <a&eline groans "rom behin& me@ I t*rn to "ace her as tho*gh nothing is amiss@ E5hat is it+F I ask# scanning the store "or something that %o*l& go nicel( %ith m( ne% acC*isition@ 7o%s o" pastel tops s%a( on hanging racks like %earable mering*e@ ETha(er#F <a&eline sa(s@ I sti""en slightl(@ E5hat=& bab( brother &o no%+F I ask# si"ting i&l( thro*gh a b*nch o" bangle bracelets@

EHe A*st te9te& to ask i" I %as going to Nisha=s part(#F <a&eline sa(s# in a horri"ie& voice that s*ggests he=& A*st te9te& to ask her i" she %as planning to shave her hea&@ ECan (o* believe him+F Char# %ho has A*st emerge& "rom the &ressing room %ith the (ello% &ress sl*ng over her arm# gapes at *s@ E2*t he=s onl( a sophomoreIF ESerio*sl(@F <a&eline shakes her hea& at her phone as i" Tha(er can see her@ E5ait# he aske& i" (o* %ere going as i" (o* ha&n=t alrea&( been invite&+F I sp*tter@ <a&eline no&s@ E4s i" he=s the cool one# not me@F Then she points at a bracelet I=ve picke& *p "rom the table@ EI love that@F EIt=s (o*rs@F I %ink at her# an& she %i&ens her e(es back# grinning# kno%ing %hat I=m going to &o@ 2*t m( min& isn=t reall( on the "iveB"inger &isco*nt@ It=s on Tha(er @6@ 5ho is this g*(+ !nbi&&en# the image o" his chisele& abs an& &e"ine& calves "loats in m( min&@ I "orce m(sel" to p*sh it a%a(@ EHe &e"initel( thinks he=s the man since coming back "rom soccer camp# h*h+F I sa(@ E-ike he=s the onl( g*( %ho=s ever pla(e& a sport be"ore@F <a&eline rolls her e(es@ ETha(er ha& some kin& o" cra?( trans"ormation %hile he %as a%a(@ S*&&enl( he thinks he=s a se9 go& or something@ 4pparentl( he ha& a serio*s girl"rien& %hile he %as there@ She %as s*per into him# an& no% she %on=t stop calling@ He claims she=s stalking him@F EPlease#F Charlotte sa(s as she sasha(s to%ar& the register@ EI=m s*re he &oesn=t min& being stalke&@F I smile# b*t I=m not so s*re abo*t that m(sel"@ Tha(er *se& to be so C*ietD at least# that=s %hat I tho*ght o" him@ 2*t it=s starting to seem like I ha& the %rong i&ea abo*t Tha(er all along@ 4s Charlotte %in&s aro*n& the racks# she pl*cks *p a -a Perla braBan&B panties set an& a&&s it to her pile@ E-a Perla+F The corners o" m( mo*th t%itch@ EPlanning a hot night %ith :arrett+F Charlotte=s cheeks "lare a bright salesclerk rings *p the p*rchase# as that@ Then I look at <a&eline@ then+F I tr( to so*n& nonchalant# pink# b*t she &oesn=t &en( it@ 4s the I sli&e the bracelet *p m( sleeve# eas( ESo Tha(er isn=t into Stalker :irl# like I &on=t reall( care@

<a&eline leans against the co*nter@ EI &on=t kno% %hat their &eal %as this s*mmer# b*t I &e"initel( &on=t think he=s into her an(more#F she sa(s# e(eing me@ EHonestl(+ I think he might have a cr*sh on (o*# S*tton@F I "eel an *ne9pecte& little ?ing in m( stomach@ Then I "ree?e# tr(ing to s*ppress m( reaction@ E4%# ho% c*te#F I sa( teasingl(@ E2*t S*tton <ercer &oesn=t &o (o*nger g*(s@ Tha(er sho*l& kno% that@F <( "rien&s no& an& t*rn a%a(# b*t m( heart is po*n&ing@ Yes# I=ve kno%n Tha(er like& me be"ore# b*t s*&&enl( it "eels &i""erent@ Onl(# am I insane+ Tha(er might be hot no%# b*t G he=s still Tha(er@ <a&eline=s (o*nger brother@ -a*rel=s best "rien&@ J*iet@ Sensitive@ The opposite o" me@ Tha(er=s the g*( %ho=s spent ho*rs at o*r ho*se on %eeken&s# pla(ing car&sD

car&sID%ith -a*rel the -ame# the g*( %ho sneaks over late nights to hang o*t in o*r back(ar& she& that %e=& ma&e over into a C*asiBcl*bho*se@ He=s a ki&@ Not in m( leag*e@ Still# a ha?( memor( "lits thro*gh m( min&: last s*mmer# Tha(er an& -a*rel passe& thro*gh the kitchen %hile I sat at o*r ro*n& oak table# th*mbing m( iPa&@ I barel( glance& *p at them as -a*rel opene& the re"rigerator an& p*lle& o*t a tall glass pitcher o" ice& tea@ 2*t that &i&n=t stop her "rom approaching me brightl(@ Her pon(tail s%*ng like the pen&*l*m o" a clock@ E5ant some+F she o""ere&# hope"*l ackno%le&gment# ignoring her h*rt b*t it A*st anno(e& me back then@ traine& on me# as tho*gh he co*l& &isappointe&@ E5hat+F I snappe&@ His lips t%itche&# an& he t*rne& a%a( silentl(@ I=& glare& at him as he an& -a*rel %ent o*tsi&e to%ar& the cl*bho*se# %on&ering %hat that look ha& been "or@ $i& he think I nee&e& to be nicer or something+ 5ho %as he to tell me %hat to &o+ 4n& %h(# most o" all# &i& I care %hat he tho*ght o" me+ 2*t the look st*ck %ith me "or &a(s@ <a(be Tha(er ha& been challenging m( a*thorit( "or a %hile no%@ The so*n& o" the register opening brings me back to 8olie@ I shr*g# br*shing the moment o"" me like a *se& to%el@ The salesclerk han&s Charlotte her shopping bag# crisp an& sharpl( e&ge&@ Charlotte smiles an& %e make o*r %a( to%ar& the e9it@ S*&&enl(# she stops in her tracks# a slo% grin sprea&ing across her "ace@ EYo* g*(s# I have the best i&ea#F she sa(s@ <a&eline an& I look at her# an& she leans in conspiratoriall(@ E5hat i" %e prank Tha(er+F Her e(es gleam@ EFor the -(ing :ame@F <a&eline=s mo*th t*rns *p at the corners# am*se&@ EHo%+F she asks# %aving her han& in an I=m listening gest*re@ Charlotte r*ns her "ree han& thro*gh her a*b*rn %aves@ ESo# S*tton %o*l& never go "or Tha(er in a million (ears# right+F E7ight#F I sa( C*ickl(@ <a(be too C*ickl(@ E5ell# %hat i" %e make it seem like she likes him+ S*tton preten&s that she=s totall( into him# an& then %hen he "alls on his knees pro"essing *n&(ing loveDpre"erabl( in a highl( p*blic placeD%e all pop o*t an& s*rprise him# telling him it %as a h*ge AokeIF She practicall( bo*nces on her heels "rom e9citement@ <a&eline bites her lip# contemplating@ EIt %o*l& &e"initel( take him &o%n a "e% pegs#F she agrees@ E5hich he &eserves# especiall( a"ter calling *s o*t like that at the pool@F Her e(es light *p as she %arms to the plan@ EI like it@ 2*t %hat abo*t (o*# S*tton+ $o (o* %ant to &o it+ $o (o* think (o* co*l& reel Tha(er in+F I arch an e(ebro% at her@ E5ho &o (o* think (o*=re talking to+F It=s a sill( C*estion@ 7eeling *ns*specting g*(s in is -(ing :ame 161@ 4n& I=m the best at it@ E2*t# I mean# he is (o*r brother#F I contin*e# consi&ering@ E4re (o* s*re (o* %ant to cr*sh him so ba&l(+F an& perk(@ I barel( m*mble& an e9pression@ I "elt Tha(er %atching me# 5hen I looke& *p# his ha?el e(es %ere see %hat I %as thinking an& %as

<a&eline p*ts her han&s on her narro% hips@ E-ook# (o* &on=t nee& to &emolish him t%o h*n&re& percent or an(thing like that# b*t G (eah@ He has it coming@ Yo* sa% ho% cock( he=s gotten latel(@ 4n& it=s not A*st anno(ing meDit=s &riving m( "ather cra?(# too@F Her e(es &arken# an& she t*rns a%a(@ Char an& I e9change a look@ 5e all kno% abo*t <r@ >ega=s temper# %hich seems to "lare *p "or the st*pi&est reasons@ I %o*l&n=t %ant to get on that man=s ba& si&e@ 5e step thro*gh the e9it o" the shop into the bla?ing heat o" 4*g*st in T*cson@ I raise m( arm an& o""er the salesclerk a %ave# bangle "alling &o%n m( sleeve an& &ancing on m( %rist@ She smiles back# preocc*pie&# her &irt( blon& hair "alling in a shin( c*rtain over her sho*l&ers@ Feeling tri*mphant# I t*rn to the girls@ EI=m in#F I &eci&e@ EI=m al%a(s &o%n "or a challenge@F

'

F4I7 P-4Y That night# m( t%o "rien&s an& I %alk the gro*n&s o" the ann*al Pima Co*nt( S*mmer Fair on the %est si&e o" to%n@ <osC*itoes# plenti"*l beca*se o" this s*mmer=s partic*larl( %et monsoon season# "lit aro*n& *s# an& "ireB"lies "licker@ The greas( smell o" "*nnel cake clings to o*r clothes an& makes o*r mo*ths %ater# even tho*gh %e %o*l&n=t &are or&er one@ 4s the pirateB ship ri&e to o*r le"t gets going# the passengers start to scream e9cite&l(@ Yo*=& never get me on that thing@ <( mom al%a(s sa(s co*nt( "air ri&es are hel& together b( b*bble g*m an& &*ct tape an& little else@ Charlotte traipses back "rom the cotton can&( booth# a tr*""*la tree o" sp*n pink s*gar in her han&@ EOh m( :o&# &i& (o* see the g*( r*nning the cotton can&( stan&+ I think he ha&# like# three teeth@F I give the scra%n(Blooking g*( a %ink# an& Charlotte practicall( sp*rts cotton can&( o*t her nose@ E:ross#F <a&eline sa(s# more to Char than Cotton Can&( :*(@ She giggles an& han&s Charlotte a napkin@ 2*t her chin=s all stick(# an& little "lecks o" paper get st*ck there# making her look even more ri&ic*lo*s@ 5e collapse into la*ghter# giggling so har& %e have to hol& on to each other to sta( *pright@ The cro%& streams aro*n& *s# giving *s %eir& looks# b*t %e &on=t care@ E5hat=s ne9t on o*r agen&a+F I ask# "inall( straightening *p an& t*gging at the hem o" m( Ella <oss tiss*e tee@ <a&s looks aro*n&@ E:abb( an& -ili %ant *s to meet them b( SkeeB2all@ 4pparentl( :abb(=s smoking it@F

She hol&s her iPhone screen *p to m( "ace so I can see their latest T%itpic@ EThat co*l& be a pict*re o" an(thing#F I sco""@ EI nee& a vis*al con"irmation@F EThen let=s go@F <a&s links arms %ith each o" *s# beaming %ith contentment# an& %e hea& back into the "ra(@ The "air is s%arming %ith people@ 5e=ve onl( move& abo*t three "eet# back to the ragge&# &*st( path bet%een booths# %hen %e b*mp &irectl( into -a*rel@ EHe(IF -a*rel sa(s eagerl(@ Her "oot lan&s sC*arel( on m( bran&Bne% >ince Cam*to capBtoe ballet "lats# an& I glare at her@ EI tho*ght %e lost (o* back b( the "ront entrance#F I snap@ I co*l&n=t get o*t o" &riving -a*rel here# b*t <a&s# Charlotte# an& I slippe& a%a( "rom her the secon& she %as &istracte& b( someone in her class@ 4 h*rt e9pression "lits across her "ace# an& I t*rn a%a(@ Sometimes I %on&er i" I=m too mean to -a*rel@ 5e act*all( *se& to be "rien&s# b*t then %e A*st G &ri"te& apart@ It happens@ Pl*s# I think that &eep &o%n# I=m kin& o" pisse& at her@ -a*rel is m( parents= biological &a*ghter# the chil& the( never tho*ght the( co*l& have@ There=s al%a(s a "ear insi&e me that the( love her A*st a little bit more@ -a*rel s%eeps her the SkeeB2all@ He pro*& o" hersel"@ %ants a treat "or hair back o"" o" her sho*l&er@ EI A*st sa% 4i&an :rove b( aske& i" (o* %ere here tonight#F she reports# looking EI tol& him (o* %ere@F She remin&s me o" a p*pp( %ho a %ellBe9ec*te& sit or roll over@

EHe is so smitten#F Charlotte agrees@ She &oesn=t bother to look *p "rom her phone# te9ting "*rio*sl( as she barel( mane*vers the sea o" bo&ies streaming past *s on all si&es@ Her han& is Aostle& an& she sC*eaks a protest@ ESt*pi& a*tocorrectIF She sighs again# b*t her e(es shine %ith enth*siasm@ E:arrett A*st got here@ OhI There he isIF She spies a "ig*re %alking thro*gh the cro%& an& starts to %ave@ 5e all crane o*r necks to see :arrett coming to%ar& *s@ He=s got closeBcroppe& hair# high cheekbones# an& small# intense e(es that look like the(=re al%a(s sC*intingDb*t in a c*te %a(@ <a&eline n*&ges Charlotte# %hose cheeks are pink %ith happiness@ EI g*ess :arrett %as oka( %ith (o* coming %ith *s to the "air instea& o" ri&ing %ith him+F she asks@ Charlotte no&s# looking sheepish@ EYeah@F E5h( &i&n=t (o* come %ith him+F -a*rel asks@ ES*tton tol& me that %hen it comes to g*(s# (o* have to have the *pper han& at all times@ 5hich means leaving them %anting more@F E4n& G +F I goa& her@ E4n& (o* %ere right#F Charlotte a&mits@ EE9actl(#F I sa(@ EI=m al%a(s right abo*t those kin&s o" things@F

EHe(#F :arrett sa(s as he Aoins *s@ He &rapes his arm aro*n& Charlotte=s sho*l&ers an& gives her a kiss on the cheek@ Charlotte looks like she=s abo*t to "aint@ Then :arrett no&s at the rest o" *s@ E5here are (o* g*(s hea&e&+F ESkeeB2all#F I anno*nce@ :arrett t%ists his mo*th@ E5hat S*tton sa(s# goes# h*h+F EThat=s *s*all( ho% it %orks#F <a&eline ans%ers# shr*gging@ 5e hea& over to SkeeB2all# %here the cro%& is thicker than ever@ Over the clatter o" %oo&en balls bo*ncing thro*gh targets# %e=re greete& b( a roar o" hooting# %histling# an& enth*siastic cheers@ <a&s an& I e9change a glance@ Someone %as clearl( on a roll@ Co*l& this cro%& be all beca*se o" :abb(+ 2*t then a clo*& o" 5intermint Tri&ent s*rro*n&s me# an& I hear :abb(=s screech( voice in m( ear@ EOh m( :o&# S*ttonIF She presses me into a clo(ing h*g@ EYo* totall( misse& m( moment o" tri*mphIF I *n%in& m( arms "rom her torso# shooting <a&s an e(e roll@ EIt looks like %e=re here A*st in time "or some real e9citement# tho*gh@F EIt=s Tha(er#F -a*rel sC*eals# scanning the scene an& grinning@ She rises on her tiptoes to get a better look@ EHe=s kicking b*ttIF I "ro%n@ It=s got to be someone else@ -ast (ear# -a*rel *se& to al%a(s %hine abo*t ho% she an& Tha(er never %ent to an( goo& concerts beca*se he co*l&n=t &eal %ith cro%&s@ 4n& "orget abo*t things like talent sho%s an& battle o" the ban&sDtho*gh %e=& sometimes hear Tha(er rocking o*t on his g*itar thro*gh the %alls at <a&s=s ho*se# he %o*l& have never# ever gone onstage an& per"orme& in "ront o" all those people@ <a&eline *se& to sa( that instea& o" having attentionB&e"icit &isor&er# he ha& attentionBterror &isor&er@ I Aostle -a*rel asi&e an& rise# ?eroing in on the SkeeB2all machine A*st as a ball &isappears sC*arel( &o%n the highestBscoring hole@ 4 scoreboar& lights *p an& the cro%& cheers@ I "ollo% the traAector( o" the ball back%ar& an& *p an e9ceptionall( grace"*l# %ellBm*scle& arm cla& in a heatherBgra( TBshirt G a TBshirt that covers the chisele& torso o" the least likel( can&i&ate "or rockBgo& stat*s Hollier High has ever kno%n@@@@ 5o%@ Tha(er grace"*ll( picks *p another silver ball an& lobs it to%ar& the hole@ 2ing bing bing# another high score@ He t*rns to the cro%& an& bo%s@ Someone certainl( has gotten over his sh(ness@ Char n*&ges me@ ECheck o*t his n*mberBone gro*pie@F She points to Nisha 2anerAee# m( tennis rival# %ho is gl*e& to Tha(er=s si&e@ She nibbles at a rainbo% sno% cone that=s staine& her lips a &eep p*rple@ She catches m( e(e across the cro%& an& sco%ls# b*t I avert m( ga?e "rostil(@ 2eca*se o" Nisha=s permaBsm*g e9pression# o" co*rse@ 4n& ho% she &oesn=t bo% &o%n to me like she sho*l&@ 4n& beca*se she=s a ri&ic*lo*sl( goo& tennis pla(er# an& I hate having competition@ Not beca*se she=s stan&ing ne9t to Tha(er@ I &on=t care abo*t that@

Tha(er sinks another ball &o%n the ,6Bpoint ch*te# an& the cro%& roars once more@ -ili n*&ges me@ E7*mor has it he=s tr(ing to %in one o" those h*ge to(s "or someone@F She points o*t the h*lking pl*sh &olls looming large on a ricket(# overcro%&e& pri?e shel" at the back o" the booth@ There=s a Scoob(B$oo# Flo*n&er "rom The -ittle <ermai&# Snoop(# an& that "ootballB hea&e& bab(# Ste%ie# "rom Famil( :*(@ EYo* have to get a tho*san& points to %in one# tho*gh@F EFor Nisha+F -a*rel sa(s# so*n&ing heartbroken@ E<a(be#F :abb( trills@ ESerio*sl(+F The tho*ght b*rns like bile in the back o" m( throat@ There=s no %a( he likes her@ 7ight+ -a*rel looks at me# then glances at Scoob(@ EOh m( :o&# remember# S*tton+ Scoob(B$oob(B$ooIF She sa(s it in Scoob(=s goo"( voice# shaking her hea& "rom si&e to si&e@ E4 co*ple o" (ears ago+ Yo* trie& to %in him# tooIF I t*rn br*sC*el( a%a( "rom her@ ENo# I &i&n=t@F $i& she have to sa( it so lo*&l(+ I hate %hen m( little sister brings *p &ork( st*"" "rom m( past@ Oka(# oka(# (eah# I *se& to reall(# reall( like Scoob(B$oo@ 5hen -a*rel an& I %ere (o*ngerD%hen %e %ere act*all( "rien&sDI once pla(e& SkeeB2all A*st like Tha(er is &oing no%# &etermine& to get Scoob( "or m(sel"@ I &i&n=t get remotel( close# tho*gh@ I take a big step a%a( "rom -a*rel# in&icating I %ant her to &rop it# no%@ <a&eline is shaking her hea& as Tha(er p*mps his "ist in a &ork( victor( gest*re@ E<( brother serio*sl( nee&s to get over himsel"#F she snaps@ S*&&enl(# Tha(er looks at me@ <( e(es narro% into slits# b*t he &oesn=t seem to notice@ The corners o" his mo*th sprea& into a h*ge# gorgeo*s grin@ 4n& then he %inks@ 4 r*sh o" something goes thro*gh me# b*t I t*rn a%a(# preten&ing to "*me@ EYes#F I sa( to <a&eline@ EHe &e"initel( &oes@F

F-E4S 4N$ TH4N; YO!+ 4n ho*r or so later# <a&eline# Charlotte# :arrett# an& I sit at a picnic table o*tsi&e the so"t pret?el stan&# %here %e=re &evo*ring %arm pret?els &*ste& in cinnamon# s*gar# an& b*tter@ Some things are totall( %orth the calories@ The smok( tang o" barbec*e "ills the air# an& crickets chirp a peace"*l rh(thm@ 4 to&&ler %obbles past *s cl*tching a <(lar balloon@ 8*st as I %on&er %ho he belongs to# a tire&Blooking %oman %ith a %ear( smile Aogs briskl( a"ter him# an overst*""e& canvas tote banging against her hip as she passes@ The air is cool an& &r( against m( skin# an& even tho*gh cro%&s aro*n& *s thr*m %ith energ(# I "eel rela9e& an& happ(@ I bite gree&il( into m( pret?el# %ashing it &o%n %ith a tart# ic( lemona&e@

Char presses her si&e to :arrett=s an& lets o*t a happ( sigh@ The(=re sharing an iceBcream s*n&ae loa&e& %ith hot "*&ge an& %hippe& cream@ Char &oesn=t nee& the calories an& she kno%s it# b*t like I sai&Dshe eats %hen she=s happ(@ I consi&er pointing it o*t# b*t then reali?e it %o*l& be too cr*el to &o it in "ront o" her bo("rien&# even "or me@ :arrett s*&&enl( leans across the table# e(eing m( pret?el@ ECan I have a bite+F I no&# taking another s%allo% o" lemona&e@ E:o "or it@F He reaches "or the pret?el@ 4s he &oes# his han& gra?es m( o%n@ I sti""en slightl(@ 5as that G intentional+ Something abo*t :arrett=s "leeting to*ch "elt a little G "lirt(@ 4 <ama 2ear "eeling "lares *p insi&e me G alongsi&e a small# sm*g "licker o" satis"action@ I=m not pro*& o" it# b*t it=s there@ <a(be it has to &o %ith being given *p "or a&option %hen I %as little# b*t it=s nice to be %ante&@ The protective "eeling %ins o*t# an& I glance at Charlotte# b*t she=s engrosse& in an anec&ote o" <a&eline=s abo*t "in&ing a girl "rom her ballet class p*king behin& a portBaBpott( earlier@ 4s "or :arrett# he=s licking his "ingers an& peering at something on his phone@ I t*rn to <a&eline# %ho is "inishing her stor(@ EI g*ess that=s %hat happens %hen the onl( thing (o*=ve Keaten= all &a( is an e9traBlarge $iet Coke# spike&IF she cackles# her b*n bobbing *p an& &o%n on top o" her hea& as she la*ghs@ EThat bitch has the sloppiest battement in the st*&io@F She sl*rps noisil( at her o%n lemona&e "or goo& meas*re@ I lean "or%ar& to chime in %hen# "rom across the table# Charlotte=s e(es %i&en at something over m( sho*l&er@ E!m# hello there# Scoob(B$ooIF Her voice is tinge& %ith s*rprise@ I t%ist aro*n& on the bench to "in& m( sister %ith Tha(er# giant Scoob( in to%@ -a*rel ga?es at him# giggling as he a&A*sts the massive st*""e& animal against his hip@ I bite back a smile@ There=s something abs*r& abo*t seeing strong# b*ilt Tha(er grappling %ith a pl*sh cartoon &og that=s practicall( as big as he is@ 4n& I=m totall( Aealo*s Tha(er %on him@ That &og %as s*ppose& to be mine@ EI g*ess (o* %eren=t ki&&ing abo*t %anting to %in that thing#F <a&eline sa(s# to(ing %ith her stra%@ E5ell# I can be prett( &etermine& %hen I %ant something#F he sa(s# shr*gging@ !n&erneath the table# <a&s pokes me@ :et a loa& o" him@ 4ll three o" themDTha(er# -a*rel# an& Scoob(Dplop &o%n at the en& o" the table@ ENisha %as b*mme& (o* &i&n=t give the Scoob( to her# (o* kno%#F -a*rel sa(s to Tha(er# shaking her hea&@ EShe %as all over (o* the %hole time (o* %ere pla(ing@F Tha(er=s "ace splits open into an eas(# cock( grin@ EYeah# %ell@ Can (o* blame her+F

I roll m( e(es at <a&eline@ ESo %ho are (o* going to give it to# &*&e+F :arrett asks@ There=s a long pa*se@ Tha(er laces his han&s atop Scoob(=s big hea&@ EI g*ess I sort o" have m( pick# h*h+F :arrett g*""a%s lo*&l(@ <a&eline t*rns p*rple@ Charlotte pokes me this time# an& I pinch her back@ The prank is on@ So on@ I spin on the picnic bench# "ol&ing one knee *p into m( chest an& tilting m( hea& at Tha(er@ E5hat &o (o* sa( to a "rien&l( %ager+F I ask# staring him sC*arel( in the e(es@ Tha(er arches a C*i??ical e(ebro%@ E5hat &o (o* mean+F EI=m challenging (o* to another game o" SkeeB2allD%inner takes Scoob( an& another st*""e& animal@ I can be &etermine& %hen I %ant something# too@F I la(er m( voice %ith meaning@ Tha(er shr*gs@ E5ell# -a*rel an& I %ere going to hit the b*mper cars ne9t# act*all(@ 7ain check+F I open m( mo*th# then sh*t it again@ That %asn=t s*ppose& to happen@ ;no%ing m( "rien&s are %atching# I &eci&e to preten& I &i&n=t mean an(thing b( m( challenge@ I stan&# cr*mpling *p m( *se& napkin an& paper plate an& stalking to%ar& the trash can@ E5hatever@F 2*t then# s*&&enl(# Tha(er is grabbing m( han&@ His grip is s*rprisingl( %arm an& "irm@ 4ll at once# I=m *nstea&( on m( "eet@ ES*tton#F he sa(s# glancing s*rreptitio*sl( to%ar& the others on the bench@ He p*shes Scoob( at me@ EPromise (o*=ll give him a goo& home@F I stare at the st*""e& animal no% in m( arms@ Part o" me is thrille&@ Tha(er pla(e& "or ho*rs to %in Scoob(@ 2*t then I "eel anno(e&@ Is he onl( giving me Scoob( o*t o" pit(# beca*se he &i&n=t %ant to take me *p on m( bet+ E7emember that one (ear (o* trie& to %in him+F he sa(s so"tl(@ I blink at him@ O" co*rse@ Tha(er ha& been at the "air %ith -a*rel an& me# tooDhe=& A*st been so C*iet I=& barel( notice& him@ $i& he tr( to %in Scoob( speci"icall( "or me+ <( heart starts to beat a little "aster@ I can=t believe he even remembere& I like& Scoob(# a"ter all these (ears@ 2*t then I "eel ri&ic*lo*s@ EI &on=t kno% %hat (o*=re talking abo*t#F I sa(@ EYes# (o* &o@F Tha(er=s ga?e is *nbroken@ EI kno% (o* remember# S*tton@ Yo*=re A*st preten&ing (o*=re too cool@F !nbelievableI The *rge to p*sh Scoob( back at Tha(er rises *p insi&e me# b*t o*t o" the corner o" m( e(e I see <a&s "lashing me a s*btle th*mbsB*p "rom the picnic table@ Tha(er giving me Scoob( is a goo& thing@ It=s a "irst step in o*r -(ing :ame prank@ I t*rn Scoob( over s*spicio*sl(@ EThis thing is probabl( "*ll o" "leas@F EI=m s*re he=s "ine#F Tha(er sa(s# reaching o*t an& patting Scoob( on the hea& a""ectionatel(@ ESo# &o (o* like him+F

4s I reach o*t an& gingerl( "inger Scoob(=s pa%# rolling the t*"ts o" his "*r bet%een m( th*mb an& "ore"inger# I reali?e m( "ingers are trembling@ Then I sC*are m( sho*l&ers@ EYo*=re "*ll o" crap# (o* kno%@ Yo*=re onl( giving me Scoob( beca*se (o* &i&n=t %ant to accept m( challenge@ 2eca*se (o* kno% (o* %o*l& have lost@F I poke him pla("*ll(@ Tha(er la*ghs an& meets m( ga?e@ E<a(be#F he ans%ers@ EOr ma(be not@F 4n& be"ore I can sa( another %or&# he %inks# then &isappears into the cro%& %ith -a*rel@

NO TI<E -I;E THE P7ESENT On <on&a( a"ternoon# the -(ing :ame hol&s an o""icial I< chat to check in abo*t all c*rrent %orks in progress@ 5e take o*r pranking ver( serio*sl(@ I lean back against the ornate sleigh hea&boar& o" m( be&# the laptop %arm against m( legs@ Charlotte# %hose I< han&le is Se99(7e&# t(pes# 4re %e s*re a Tha(er prank is eno*gh "or o*r ann*al kicko"" prank+ S%an-ake<a"ia# aka <a&s# replies: I %as thinking the same thing@ 2*t no% that I=ve starte& this "lirtation %ith Tha(er# I &on=t kno% i" I %ant to stop@ 5e=ve got to &o it# I# S*ttonin4/# ans%er@ 2*t onl( as a "avor to the best 2FF ever@ I can tell Tha(er=s b*gging (o*# <a&s@ 5e=ll think o" something else "or the big backBtoBschool prank@ S%an-ake<a"ia: Thanks# S*tton@ Yo*=re right@ 4n& nice Aob on the Scoob( score last nightI 5atch an& learn# la&ies# I sa( nonchalantl(@ 2*t I=m gla& m( %ebcam isn=t on right no%# beca*se I=m bl*shingDan& sn*ggle& *p ne9t to Scoob(@ I %o*l&n=t %ant m( "rien&s to see him there an& get an( i&eas that I reall( like Tha(er or something@ It=s A*st that he=s so co?( to sleep %ith@ 4n& he barel( smells like "*nnel cake an& corn &og at all@ 5e still nee& to come *p %ith o*r 7E4- prank then# I t(pe# manic*re& "ingers "l(ing across the ke(boar&@ Thinking caps onI 4"ter a moment# an image loa&s into the chat screen: Charlotte# %inking# a E*genia ;im stra% "e&ora perche& at an angle across her "orehea&@ C*te@ It=s her take on a thinking cap@ She looks a little like 2ritne( Spears preL2reak&o%n M1@ 4&orbs# I tap@ 2*t keep the i&eas coming@ 5e have a rep*tation to *phol&@ O"" to ballet# bitches@ I &eclare this -(ing :ame meeting o""iciall( &ismisse&# <a&s t(pes be"ore signing o""@

-ater# Char# I t(pe# "lipping m( laptop sh*t an& sli&ing o"" m( be&@ Even %ith the %in&o%s sh*t an& the central 4C blasting# I can still hear the angr(# insistent throttle o" a lea" blo%er b*??ing like a chain sa% o*tsi&e@ :ritting m( teeth# I %an&er to%ar& the %in&o% an& thr*st asi&e the c*rtains@ S*re eno*gh# across the street# a &iligent gar&ener in a bl*e baseball cap %alks the perimeter o" the $onovans= "ront la%n in increasingl( %i&er circles@ Their (ar& isn=t that big# b*t he &oesn=t look remotel( close to being &one@ I sigh in "r*stration# consi&ering a long# hot sho%er %ith m( Fresh laven&er scr*b# %hen I spot the lea" blo%er=s lan&scaping partner@ I=& recogni?e that thicket o" &ark# shin( hair an(%here@ Tha(er@ He=s at the e&ge o" the "ront %alk# neatl( clipping the bo9 he&ges that line the "lagstone path "rom the &rive%a( to the entrance o" the $onovans= ho*se@ He=s not %earing a shirt# an& the strong# &e"ine& arms that he &eb*te& at the co*ntr( cl*b the other &a( are on "*ll &ispla(@ From %here I stan&# it looks like the(=re getting a goo& %orko*t# too@ On the one han&# the Fresh bath scr*b is (*mm(Bsmelling@ On the other han&# it=s not like I=m going to be able to tr*l( rela9 as long as the lea" blo%er is making all that noise o*tsi&e@ On the thir& han&Dan& as long as Tha(er=s got his shirt o""# I &eci&e to give m(sel" as man( han&s "or this arg*ment as I nee&DTha(er=s o*t there@ 8*st begging to "all hea& over heels "or me@ It=s like "ate has han&e& me an earl( Christmas present# %rappe& in a bright# shin( bo%@ :ame on@ It onl( takes me a min*te to "l*"" m( hair in the mirror an& s%ipe on some o" m( "avorite N47S lip gloss in a peach( sha&e@ Something tells me Tha(er=s the t(pe to appreciate the nat*ral look in a girl@ I grin at m( re"lection an& shoot a C*ick glance at Scoob( on the be&@ The sight o" him there gives me a %arm glo%Dan& a &o*ble shot o" con"i&ence@ EScoob(B$oob(B $ooIF I %hisper# then smile to m(sel"@ Stepping into the T*cson heat is like cra%ling into an oven# b*t I sta( "oc*se& as I approach Tha(er@ He=s cro*ching on the gro*n& no%# t*gging a partic*larl( st*bborn %ee&@ EOh m( :o&#F I sa(# s*rprise ringing in m( voice@ E5hat are (o* &oing here+ $o (o* %ork "or the $onovans+F 4s i" I ha&n=t been sp(ing on him thro*gh the %in&o%@ Tha(er t*rns# sets his shears &o%n# an& appraises me cooll(@ 2ase& on his e9pression# I can tell he shares m( opinion that m( c*to""s sho% A*st the right amo*nt o" long# tanne& leg@ 2*t even that &oesn=t seem to "a?e him m*ch@ ENo#F he replies# smiling easil(@ EI %ork "or the lan&scapers@ The( %ork "or the $onovans@F His e(es are alight %ith mischie"@ I tilt m( hea& &o%n# o""ering m( most coC*ettish grin@ EI g*ess (o* ha& to "in& some %a( to keep o*t o" tro*ble# no% that soccer camp is over@F <( tone s*ggests that keeping in tro*ble is %a( more "*n than the alternative# o" co*rse@

EYeah@ 4n& I g*ess I=ve got a lot o" e9cess energ( to b*rn no% that I=m not r*nning &rills ever( morning at "ive 4@<@F EThat so*n&s horrible#F I sa(# grimacing as I %rap m( hair *p into a loose# cas*al b*n at the nape o" m( neck@ I rea& some%here that g*(s love %hen girls pla( %ith their hair@ E4t tennis camp the( let *s sleep *ntil si9@F ESpoile&#F he teases@ EI &o *s*all( get %hat I %ant#F I sa(@ Tha(er locks e(es %ith me an& a small charge passes thro*gh me@ ESo I=ve hear&#F he sa(s@ EHo%=s Scoob(# b( the %a(+F ECovere& in "leas#F I ans%er C*ickl(# onl( a slight hicc*p in m( voice@ EToo ba&#F Tha(er ans%ers %ith mock sa&ness@ 5e look at each other "or a moment# each &aring the other to make the ne9t move@ 4 %ee& %hacker gr*mbles "rom the $onovans= back(ar&# snapping *s o*t o" the staring contest@ Tha(er clears his throat@ E4n(ho%# it=s not a ba& Aob# reall(#F he sa(s# gest*ring to the %i&e# green e9panse o" the $onovans= l*sh la%n@ EI like being o*tsi&e@ 2*t I miss Cali"ornia@ 5e got to &rive some o" the Paci"ic Coast High%a( to get to the camp@F E5e &i& that# too# a million (ears ago# on a trip to $isne(lan& "or -a*rel=s si9th birth&a(#F I o""er@ !ne9pecte&l(# the memor( r*shes back to me: me# hair in t%in pigtails# s%inging m( short legs against the cool leather o" the backseat o" o*r ol& 4*&i se&an# -a*rel=s nose presse& against her %in&o% in search o" an r "or the license plate game@ Even tho*gh I sa% an r# I preten&e& not to@ I %as letting her %in@ That %as back %hen %e like& each other@ I look at Tha(er@ E<( "ather ma&e *s stop in :ilro(# theDF ED:arlic Capital o" the 5orl&IF Tha(er chimes in# la*ghing@ He r*ns his han& thro*gh his hair# br*shing it back "rom his perspirationBbea&e& "orehea&@ E5e stoppe& there# too@ Totall( %orth the &ela(@F I stare at him# %on&ering i" he=s act*all( serio*s@ E5e %ere rea&( to kill m( "ather#F I sa(@ E-a*rel an& I %ere so h(pe& to see Princess 8asmine in the "lesh# an& he %ants to stop "or some stink( garlic+F I make a "ace@ E!gh# an& &i& (o* tr( the garlic ice cream+F EObvio*sl(#F he sa(s# shr*gging like I=m the %eir& one in this conversation@ EHo% can (o* not+F EEasil(#F I sa(# Ereall(# reall( easil(#F an& %e la*gh@ Tha(er crosses his arms over his chest@ EYo* kno%# S*tton# I=ll bet (o*=re not hal" as high maintenance as (o* preten& to be@F He "ro%ns# as tho*gh consi&ering# then no&s@ EI=ll bet that *n&er the right circ*mstances# (o*=re the kin& o" a&vent*ro*s girl %ho thinks garlic ice cream is "or %imps@F I kno% he means it as a compliment# b*t I shiver@ The thing is# ever since I %as little# I=ve ha& a secret# &eepB&o%n "ear that being a&opte& means I=m secon& best# an& sometimes I A*st &eman& things to see ho% "ar I can p*sh peopleDto see ho% m*ch the( act*all( care abo*t me@ It=s %eir& that Tha(er seems to A*st get that# intrinsicall(@ No one has ever g*esse& at it@

EI can be prett( a&vent*ro*s#F I a&mit@ E2*t ma(be not garlicBiceBcream a&vent*ro*s@ Ever(one has their limits@F ESo %hat kin& o" ice cream %o*l& (o* eat+F Tha(er asks@ EChili pepper+F E5h( not+F I shr*g@ EI like some spice@F EHo% abo*t miso+F ETotall(DI love s*shi@F I point to him@ E5hat abo*t prosci*tto+F E4s in ham+F He makes a "ace@ ENot s*re abo*t that one@F I "eign shock@ EHave I grosse& o*t the *n"lappable Tha(er >ega+F E<a(be#F Tha(er sa(s# an& %e both ch*ckle@ S*&&enl(# something strikes me: stan&ing here# hanging o*t on the $onovans= "ront %alk# talking to Tha(er like he=s G a g*( "eels so normal an& nat*ral@ <ore than that# it=s "*n# an& it "ills me %ith a sparkl( "eeling I can=t ignore@ 2*t then a voice insi&e me speaks ver(# ver( lo*&l(: This is A*st a prank@ Nothing more@ I straighten# hitch m( shorts back *p over m( hips# an& clear m( throat# s*&&enl( clamming *p@ E5ell# I sho*l& get going@F E5o*l&n=t %ant to keep (o*r a&oring p*blic %aiting#F Tha(er C*ips@ I bite m( lip@ ENo# &e"initel( not@F <( e(es &art across his lithe bo&( again# A*st "or goo& meas*re@ E$on=t %ork too har&@F EI %on=t#F he ass*res me@ E4n(%a(# I=ll see (o* later@F I raise m( e(ebro%s# "eeling a skip in m( chest@ EYo* %ill+F He no&s@ EI=m hanging o*t %ith -a*rel@F O" co*rse@ ECool#F I sa(@ I=m abo*t to t*rn an& %an&er back home %hen Tha(er reaches "or%ar&# placing a han& on m( "orearm@ The contact sen&s a thrill straight to m( core@ E5atch o*t#F he sa(s# gest*ring to the rake I %as abo*t to step on@ E7ight#F I sa(# regaining m( balance@ 2*t I "eel like he meant %atch o*t in another %a(# too@ 5atch o*t# S*tton@ Yo*=re getting in over (o*r hea&@

/EN 4N$ NO5 E4n& G breathe GF

It=s T*es&a( evening# an& 4le9is# m( "avorite instr*ctor at Prana Yoga# %in&s her %a( thro*gh the st*&io# her cleanl( pe&ic*re& "eet nearl( so*n&less against the sleek# blon& bamboo "looring@ The silver toe ring nestle& aro*n& her le"t thir& toe makes a tin( click %ith each step# b*t it=s barel( a*&ible over Charlotte=s labore& *AAa(i breathing@ It=s not ver( (ogic# an& I have to restrain m(sel" "rom pinching her so she=ll C*iet &o%n@ Om# I remin& m(sel"@ 2reathe@ I "oc*s on the clicks o" 4le9is=s toe ring tapping o*t a stea&(# rh(thmic <orse co&e an& &ra% m( concentration in%ar&@ I" I can make m( min& blank# ma(be I=ll stop thinking abo*t Tha(er=s la?( smile@ Or the %a( he to*che& m( arm be"ore I le"t the $onovans= (ar& (ester&a(@ Or ho% he sai& %atch o*t like it meant something@ Or the "act that I act*all( slept %ith m( arm t*cke& aro*n& Scoob( last night@ 4n& %hen I %oke *p at 4@<@ an& co*l&n=t "in& him# I kin& o" "reake& o*t a little@ He=& onl( been on the "loor# b*t reall(Dho% ol& %as I+ $i&n=t I stop sleeping %ith to(s %hen I %as three+ I ben& m( right leg *ntil m( thigh is nearl( parallel to the "loor# sinking lo%er into the release o" the m*scle as 4le9is gentl( n*&ges m( e9ten&e& "ront arm into proper alignment@ EOne long line#F she remin&s me# no&&ing as I make the a&A*stment@ Her san&( corkscre% c*rls bob as she s*rve(s <a&eline=s post*re# %hich is# o" co*rse# ballerina per"ect@ EChat*ranga to *p &og#F 4le9is intones# her voice lo% an& h(pnotic# like car tires cr*nching over gravel@ <a&eline &rops grace"*ll( into a "irm# strong plank on m( le"t %hile# "rom the right# Charlotte gr*nts as she lo%ers into the pose@ 5e all invert back into &o%n &og# then stan&# shake o*t "or a moment# an& &rag o*r stick( mats to the %all "or hea&stan&s@ E7emember that hea&stan&s# like all inversions# are abo*t clarit(@ Perspective#F 4le9is sa(s@ She kneels at the "ront o" the st*&io an& lights a cl*ster o" e*cal(pt*s can&les# then rises an& &ims the overhea& lights@ The room is bathe& in a so"t glo%# the can&les giving o"" a clean# "resh scent@ Clarit(@ Perspective@ It=s a goo& thing %e=re here# I think@ I co*l& *se some o" both o" those@ Tha(er never &i& come b( to see -a*rel (ester&a(@ 4n& %hat=s %orse is that I notice&@ 4n& care&@ 5hat=s %rong %ith me+ I mean# I can=t act*all( like Tha(er# can I+ 4n& I &e"initel( can=t be seen &ating him or an(thing like that@ I have m( rep*tation to think o"@ Still# tho*ghDthinking abo*t (ester&a(# his skin on mine# the Aokes back an& "orth# the eas( %a( I "elt aro*n& him# I "eel the hairs on the back o" m( neck prickle@ This is so totall( not oka(@ There=s onl( one thing le"t to &o@ I have to call the prank o""# shove m( "eelings &o%n into some kin& o" emotional lock bo9 be"ore the( become an(thing more# an& preten& none o" this insanit( ever happene& in the "irst place@ I press m( "ists "irml( into the gro*n& an& sen& all o" m( energ( to m( legs# imagining them shooting straight *p into the sk(@ 2*t then Tha(er=s "ace materiali?es in m( min& again@ I %ince# an& m( legs %obble@

There=s a so"t th*& besi&e me as Charlotte allo%s her legs to "all over her hea& in plo% pose@ 4s i" she can rea& m( min&# she %hispers# EHo%=s it going %ith Tha(er# S*tton+F Here goes# I think@ No time like the present@ EI &on=t kno%# g*(s#F I sa(# %orking as m*ch bore&om into m( tone as I can@ I=m grate"*l that Charlotte an& <a&eline are both t%iste& *p like h*man pret?els an& can=t see m( "ace %hen I ans%er@ EI=ve been thinking# an& pranking Tha(er seems kin& o" G lame@ I think it might be beneath the stan&ar&s o" the -(ing :ame@F The(=re silent ne9t to me@ <a(be the(=ll be cool %ith it@ E2esi&es#F I go on# E%hat i" people act*all( believe that I like him+ I &o have m( rep*tation to think abo*t@ No o""ense# <a&eline#F I a&& as an a"tertho*ght@ <a&eline &oesn=t look remotel( o""en&e&Din "act# her "ace is a mask o" tranC*ilit(# her &elicate "eat*res serene an& openDb*t Charlotte looks vin&icate&@ EI kne% itIF she cro%s# her voice glee"*l@ E;ne% %hat+F I ask shakil(# t*rning m( "ace a%a(@ <( heart s*&&enl( th*&s@ Is it obvio*s ho% I=m starting to "eel+ $oes <a&s kno%# too+ EYo* &on=t think (o* can get Tha(er to "all in love %ith (o*# &o (o*+F Char asks tri*mphantl(@ 5hat+ I break o*t o" the pose an& stare at her@ I ha&n=t e9pecte& her to sa( that@ ENo# IDF <a&eline c*ts me o""@ EOh# please#F she sa(s# the beati"ic e9pression on her "ace never %avering@ EHe=s alrea&( hal" in love %ith S*tton@ He has a pict*re o" (o* in his be&room#F she sa(s to me# tilting her chin to%ar& me slightl( %hile keeping her e(es close&@ 4s m*ch as I %ish it %o*l&n=t# m( p*lse C*ickens at the tho*ght@ EHe &oes+F EYeah# he=s ha& it since last (ear at least#F <a&eline sa(s@ EI "o*n& it *n&erneath one o" his math books@ $on=t ask me %here he got it "rom or %hat he &oes %ith itFDshe sh*&&ers# ca*sing her %illo%( "rame to %aver brie"l( DEb*t this prank sho*l& be a gimme "or (o*@F Then she giggles@ EI can=t %ait to see the look on his "ace %hen he reali?es it=s all a Aoke@ I mean# come on@ <( bab( brother %ith a hot ol&er girl+ Never@ :onna@ Happen@F From *psi&e &o%n# her grin act*all( looks like a "ro%n# "illing me %ith a C*eas( "orebo&ing@ EHe &eserves to be pranke& A*st "or thinking it co*l&IF Charlotte chimes in@ EIt=s going to be so goo&# &on=t (o* think# S*tton+F E!hBh*h#F I sa( shakil(@ 2*t as 4le9is *shers *s into shavasana# the "inal rela9ation# the last thing I "eel is calm@ The lea&er o" the -(ing :ame can=t be seen begging o"" o" a prank@ I can=t look like a "ail*re in "ront o" m( "rien&s@ I=m going to have to go thro*gh %ith this@ It=s the onl( option@ 2*t then I think %hat <a&s A*st sai&@ I can=t %ait to see the look on his "ace %hen he reali?es it=s all a Aoke@ I=ve sai& that abo*t a lot o" pranks %e=ve p*lle&: I=m going to &ie la*ghing %hen she reali?es %e tricke& herH

his e9pression is going to be pricelessH I bet the(=re going to scream@ Never be"ore# tho*gh# have I tho*ght abo*t ho% those people tr*l( "elt@ 4n& most o" the people %e pranke& &eserve& it "or one reason or another@ 2*t &i& Tha(er# reall(+ So he came back "rom soccer camp acting like he %as the man@ 2*t then I think o" Tha(er=s teasing smile %hen he gave me the Scoob(# the %a( he seeme& to see right thro*gh me in the $onovans= (ar& (ester&a(@ I shiver@ The temperat*re in the room has &roppe&# an& the moist*reB%icking "abric o" m( tank s*&&enl( "eels "lims( an& thin@ 4 light snore "rom Charlotte Aolts me@ I elbo% her less than gentl( as 4le9is "licks the lights back on@ The three o" *s stan&# straighten o*r tops# an& roll *p o*r stick( mats# getting rea&( to leave@ ESo# %hat=s the &eal# S*tton+F Charlotte asks# a&A*sting her %hite terr( hea&ban& an& "lashing a pearl( smile in 4le9is=s &irection@ 4le9is &ips her chin in a C*ick no& o" repl(@ EIs Operation -overbo( a go# or not+F I grit m( teeth@ This is it# I tell m(sel"@ Clarit(@ EOnl( i" (o* promise never to call it that again#F I snap# narro%ing m( e(es@ I "ish m( iPhone o*t o" the pocket o" m( silver n(lon g(m bag@ EHe=ll be mine b( the en& o" the %eeken&@F 4n& then I "*rio*sl( tap a te9t to Tha(er@ <isse& * (ester&a(@ I=& better see (o* to&a( or else it=s ham ice cream "or (o*@ It=s more aggressive than I=& normall( beDthan I=& normall( nee& to beDb*t I might as %ell look at this plan like ripping o"" a 2an&B4i&@ It=s better to get the pain"*l part over %ith as C*ickl( as possible@

NO P-4CE -I;E HO<E ES*ttonIF m( mom calls o*t "rom &o%nstairs@ E2reak"ast is rea&(IF ECan=t a girl sleep in "or once+ It=s s*mmerIF I (ell back# b*t reall(# I=ve been *p "or ho*rs@ I=m sitting at m( &esk# scrolling i&l( thro*gh Facebook an& staring angril( at m( phone@ Tha(er still hasn=t respon&e& to the te9t I sent him last night@ Not even %ith a smile(@ I can=t believe it@ It &oesn=t matter# I tr( to tell m(sel"@ Yo*=ll %in him over@ Then again# i" Tha(er &oes event*all( like me# the en& res*lt is the same: all o" *s la*ghing in his "ace@ <a(be it=s better i" he &oesn=t "all "or me@ 2*t that &oesn=t sit %ell %ith me# either@ I slip the phone into the pocket o" m( robe an& pa& &o%nstairs@ 8*st as I=m crossing the "o(er# the &oorbell rings@ <( heart li"tsDis it Tha(er+ I get even more e9cite& %hen I see a tall# broa& shape thro*gh the clo*&e& glass o" the &oor@ 2*t %hen I open the &oor# it=s :arrett stan&ing on the porch@ I "ro%n@

E!h# are (o* looking "or Charlotte+F I ask tentativel(@ :arrett smiles a%k%ar&l(# then p*lls something o*t o" his bag@ E4ct*all(# I came b( to see i" this is (o*rs@F He hol&s o*t a cell phone %ith a S%arovski cr(stalBbe&a??le& case@ EI "o*n& it at the cl*b (ester&a(@ The batter( is &ea&# so I co*l&n=t be s*re# b*t I tho*ght I recogni?e& it@F I stare at the phone %itho*t to*ching it@ He tho*ght this be&a??le&# sparkl( monstrosit( %as m( phone+ E%%@ The -(ing :ame girls all have matching Tor( 2*rch casesDclassic an& chic@ ENot mine#F I sa(@ EYo* sho*l& take it back to the cl*b "or lost an& "o*n&@F EOh# oka(# sorr(@F :arrett gives me another %obbl( smile as he sli&es the phone into the pocket o" his cargo shorts@ ESo G %hat=s *p+F I stare &o%n at m( robe an& slippers# then back at him@ E!h# I A*st %oke *p@ I look like &eath@F :arrett=s e(es %i&en@ ENo# (o* &on=t@ Yo* look c*te@F Is he serio*s+ E:arrett# I=m barel( a%ake#F I sa(@ ECan %e talk later+F Or not at all+ I think@ EO" co*rse@F :arrett looks embarrasse&@ EI=ll let (o* have break"ast or %hatever@F He steps o"" the porch# making a "e% too man( "l*stere& movements@ ESee (o* aro*n&# S*tton@F EYep# see (o* aro*n&@F I sh*t the &oor "ast# %atching him scamper back to his car# %hich is parke& at the c*rb@ 5eir&@ <a(be he=s A*st being "rien&l( to all o" Char=s 2FFs as a %a( to get in o*r goo& graces@ Someho%# tho*gh# I &o*bt it@ Shr*gging the sit*ation o"" as best I can# I stri&e into the terraBcottaB tile& kitchen@ Insi&e# -a*rel is on her han&s an& knees scr*bbing at o*r "loor %ith a soake& &ishrag@ Orange liC*i& pools all aro*n& her like a moat@ <( mother leans over the kitchen table %ith a roll o" paper to%els an& a spra( bottle o" cleaner# an& m( "ather hol&s o*t a plastic bag "or collecting the sogg(# orangeBA*iceBsoake& to%els@ I si&estep them an& hea& "or the co""eemaker@ EHo% man( <ercers &oes it take to clean *p an orange A*ice spill+F I sa( sni&el(@ <( mom looks *p at me@ The morning light ill*minates the "ine lines at the corners o" her e(es# making her seem more tire&# more v*lnerable than *s*al@ E5ho %as at the &oor+F ENo one#F I sa( C*ickl(# grabbing a steaming m*g o" co""ee that=s alrea&( been po*re& an& settling &o%n at the table@ <( mom glares@ EYo* co*l& help# (o* kno%# S*tton@F I bristle@ It %asn=t m( mess@ EIt looks like -a*rel=s got it *n&er control#F I sa(# shr*gging@ -a*rel stan&s an& &rapes the %et &ishcloth over the stainless steel basin o" the sink@ ESorr( again# <om@ 4ll (o*r "reshl( sC*ee?e& O8 &o%n the &rain@F O*r mother to*ches -a*rel=s sho*l&er gentl(@ E$on=t %orr( abo*t it# hone(@ 4cci&ents happen@F

I glare at them behin& m( co""ee@ I" I %ere the one to &o*se the room in "reshl( sC*ee?e& orange A*ice# <om %o*l& be giving me her $isappointe& -ook# the one that sa(s I take ever( single thing I get "or grante& an& al%a(s have@ 4n& $a& %o*l& be r*nning his "ingers thro*gh his hair at the temples# s*&&enl( stresse& beca*se <om is stresse&@ It=s like a chain reaction %ith them %hen it comes to me@ 2*t since -a*rel scre%e& *p# ever(thing is 4Boka(@ <om gets a A*g o" Tropicana o*t o" the "ri&ge@ $a& ties o"" the heav( black garbage bag an& crosses the "loor to rest it in the &oor%a( lea&ing to the m*&room# then pa*ses to pat $rake# the "amil( :reat $ane# on the hea&@ I take a sip o" co""ee an& almost spit it o*t@ It=s blackD%ho &rinks it that %a(+ I open a packet o" Splen&a an& &*mp it in@ 2ehin& me# -a*rel sighs lo*&l(@ EI po*re& that "or m(sel"# S*tton@F She=s glaring at me@ EI nee&e& it@F F*nn(# %hen -a*rel is aro*n& o*r "amil( instea& o" m( "rien&s# she takes on the role o" the %hin(# anno(ing# sel"Brighteo*s# victimi?e& (o*nger sister@ E5h( &i& (o* nee& it so ba&l(+F I ask@ EIt=s still s*mmer@ 8*st go back to be&@F EI=m hanging o*t %ith Tha(er all &a(# an& %e=re planning on %atching a meteor sho%er tonight#F -a*rel snaps@ EI=m going to nee& energ(@F Tha(er@ I clamp &o%n har& on the insi&e o" m( cheek@ Is that %h( he &i&n=t te9t backDbeca*se he %as te9ting -a*rel+ E5here are (o* %atching this meteor sho%er+F -a*rel=s e(ebro%s shoot *p# an& I s*&&enl( %on&er i" I=ve seeme& too eager an& c*rio*s@ E5h( &o (o* care+F she asks@ EI &on=t#F I sa( C*ickl(@ -a*rel h*""il( "i9es hersel" more co""ee@ O*r parents "lit aro*n& tr(ing to get rea&( "or %orkDm( "ather is a &octor# m( mom a la%(er@ I check m( phone *n&er the table# glancing at it %itho*t act*all( e9pecting m*chDb*t I=m re%ar&e& %ith a bright ne% speech b*bble in&icating a ne% message@ 4 little h*m shoots &o%n m( spine@ I silentl( scroll a th*mb over the screen@ It=s Tha(er@ 5here &o (o* stan& on savor( sorbets+ I smile@ Oka(# that %as a c*te message@ <a(be# A*st ma(be# it %as even %orth the %ait@ Is it an invitation o" some sort+ I sai& I %ante& to see himD&oes he %ant to go o*t "or sorbet+ I s*ppress a grin# sli&ing the phone back into m( pocket@ I "eel relieve&# ma(be too relieve&# that he %rote me back@ 2*t I=m in no r*sh to respon&@ No% he can %ait@ <om sits &o%n at the table %ith a bo%l o" granola an& so( milk@ ESo# -a*rel# is it nice to have Tha(er back "rom soccer camp+F Tha(er@ He=s ever(%here@ That "l*tter( "eeling is back@ E!hBh*h#F -a*rel stammers@ Her e(es &art back an& "orth nervo*sl( an& her movements are s*&&enl( Aerk(# like a marionette@

EHe gre% a "e% inches# &i&n=t he+F <om asks bet%een bites@ EI haven=t notice&#F -a*rel sa(s# b*t a ros( "l*sh creeps *p her neck an& perspiration bea&s her *pper lip@ She "i&&les %ith her Tor( 2*rch st*&&e& leather %rap bracelet# %in&ing it "or%ar& an& back across her %rist@ I s%allo% har&# the "l*tter( "eeling insi&e me t*rning slightl( aci&ic@ I=ve kno%n "orever that -a*rel likes Tha(er# b*t I %on&er i" her "eelings have intensi"ie& %ith his s*mmer *pgra&e@ The tho*ght "ills me %ith Aealo*s(Dan& &rive@ Stealing a cr*sh "rom m( sister is ol& ne%s# another trick that=s serio*sl( beneath me@ 2*t ma(be# A*st ma(be# this is another perk to getting Tha(er to like me@ It %ill be nice to remin& -a*rel that no matter ho% things are %ith <om an& $a& at home# she isn=t the bla?ing s*perstar ever(%here she goes@

2E4!TY S-EEP IS O>E774TE$ I open m( e(es an& look aro*n&@ The room is cast in a bl*eBblack ha?e# images shapeless an& so*n&s m*""le&# as tho*gh the entire scene %ere *n"ol&ing *n&er%ater@ 5herever I am# it=s nighttime# an& I am not alone@ In the &im light# I make o*t the "o*r %alls o" a small# nearl( bare room# a c*rtainBless %in&o% looking o*t into a parking lot@ The air smells o" pineB scente& room spra( an& stale cigarette smoke@ I hear a banging# then m*rm*rs o" conversation coming "rom some%here nearb(# some place o*tsi&e o" this room@ I=m not s*re %here I am@ I=m not s*re ho% ol& I am# either@ Not seventeen# certainl(Dmore like "o*r# "ive@ I look &o%n an& see a threa&bare "loral nightie that barel( skims m( knees on m( bo&(@ The elastic c*""s o" the sleeves c*t into the "lesh o" m( *pper arms# an& a sti""# scratch(# pol(ester motel blanket is p*lle& *p to m( chin@ 5hen I look over# I see a sha&o%( "ig*re sitting at a small metal table b( the %in&o%# &r*mming her "ingers across the s*r"ace# staring into space@ E<om+F I call o*t@ The "ig*re t*rns# b*t I can=t see her "ace@ I tr( m( har&estDI %ant A*st one memor( o" m( real mother# something I can hol& on to@ Onl(# this makes no sense: I %as a&opte& %hen I %as onl( a "e% %eeks ol&# not "o*r@ I &on=t have an( memories o" m( mother@ I have no i&ea %ho she is or %hat she looks like@ Still# I str*ggle to see@ Then# a han& that=s the e9act shape an& si?e as m( o%n taps me on the sho*l&er@ I t*rn again an& look into another "ace@ 4 mirror@ EHello+F I ask@ <( mirror image &oesn=t speak@ I start a%ake %ith a small scream@ This time# I=m in m( reg*lar be&room@ <( b*tterBso"t Eg(ptian cotton sheets are tangle& in a s%eat( ball at m(

ankles@ <( bare legs are cool an& stick( "rom the blast o" the airB con&itioning@ I look at the clockDit=s not even mi&night@ I "ell asleep earl( tonight# e9ha*ste& a"ter several ho*rs o" pla(ing tennis %ith Charlotte at the co*rt &o%n the streetH I &on=t %ant to give Nisha the satis"action o" being r*st( %hen the season starts ne9t %eek@ I stretch an& sigh@ There=s no %a( I can go back to sleep no%@ I C*ickl( slip on a %a""leBknit hoo&ie an& make m( %a( &o%nstairs# stepping so"tl( as I go@ I "ill a glass o" %ater at the sink@ S*&&enl(# something behin& me catches m( e(e@ 4t the "ar en& o" o*r immac*latel( lan&scape& back(ar&# a so"t (ello% light glo%s "rom %ithin the lattice%ork o" crisscrossing branches@ The cl*bho*se@ -a*rel an& Tha(er are o*t there# looking *p at the stars@ I can pict*re their silho*ettes in pro"ile@ The(=re tilte& to%ar& each other# %hispering in the &im space@ 4bo*t %hat# I %on&er@ 5hat %o*l& it be like# to be the one c*rle& *p in there# %ith Tha(er all to m(sel"+ E$i& %e %ake (o*+F I A*mp at the "ig*re in the &oor%a(# &ropping m( glass o" %ater in the process@ It hits the granite co*ntertop an& shatters@ 5hen I p*ll m( han& a%a(# I see bloo&@ EO*chIF The c*t is shallo%# b*t there=s a lot o" bloo&@ I lean against the co*ntertop# s*&&enl( %oo?(@ Tha(er stri&es over to me@ EOh m( :o&@ 4re (o* oka(+F EFine#F I eke o*t@ E2*t ma(be (o* co*l& get me a 2an&B4i&+F Tha(er looks like he &oesn=t %ant to leave m( si&e@ E5here are the(+ EIn the hall bathroom# in the me&icine cabinet@F I point %ith m( nonB inA*re& han&@ Tha(er %alks a%a( C*ickl(# an& I *se the time to catch m( breath@ 5hat is %rong %ith me+ I &on=t go aro*n& &ropping glasses# even in the mi&&le o" the night@ $oes he kno% I=m being e9tra cl*ms( beca*se o" him+ Can he tell ho% I=m starting to "eel+ Ho% am I starting to "eel+ I still haven=t ans%ere& his te9t abo*t sorbet@ I tell m(sel" it=s beca*se I %ant to keep him on his toes# b*t reall(# I haven=t &eci&e& ho% to respon&@ I=m reali?ing that the *s*al r*les o" "lirting &on=t necessaril( appl( %ith Tha(er@ 4 moment later# Tha(er reappears %ith a "irstBai& kit in han&@ He p*lls o*t a thick sC*are o" ga*?e an& hol&s it "irml( against m( palm# lea&ing me gentl( to the kitchen table to sit &o%n@ E;eep the press*re on %hile I clean *p#F he sa(s@ EThanks#F I m*mble@ ENo problem#F Tha(er sa(s over his sho*l&er as he %ipes o"" the co*ntertop# picking *p the larger shar&s o" glass an& tossing them in a garbage bag@ EI sho*l&n=t have scare& (o* like that@ 5hat are (o* &oing *p+F E4 &ream %oke me# I g*ess#F I sa(@ E4bo*t %hat+F

I look a%a(# sh(@ I &on=t *s*all( talk abo*t m( birth mom %ith g*(s@ Or %ith an(one# "or that matter@ Tha(er ties o"" the plastic bag an& loops it aro*n& the &oorknob o" the &oor lea&ing to the m*&room@ Then he grabs the "irstBai& kit an& takes a seat ne9t to me at the table# sli&ing m( chair o*t an& tilting it so that %e=re "acing each other@ I inhale# "eeling the air charge& an& alive bet%een *s# an& he leans in to me@ :entl(# he takes m( inA*re& han& an& stretches it o*t# removing the ga*?e an& placing it asi&e# on the table@ EThis is going to sting#F he %arns# his e(es never leaving mine@ He tears open an antiseptic %ipe an& r*ns it across m( c*t@ I shiver "rom the C*ick# sharp b*rn@ Then he li"ts m( palm to his "ace an& blo%s lightl(@ I shiver again@ This time# I think it has more to &o %ith Tha(er than the c*t@ E4re (o* s*re (o*=re oka(+F Tha(er asks so"tl(@ EI=m "ine#F I sa(# %incing@ EI &on=t mean "rom the c*t#F he sa(s@ EI mean abo*t G (o*r &ream@ 5hatever %oke (o* *p@ Yo* seem GF He trails o""# perhaps not able to "in& the %or&s@ EI %as &reaming abo*t m( mother#F I bl*rt s*&&enl(@ E<( real mother# I mean@ Yo* kno% I=m a&opte&# right+F EYes@F I" Tha(er can tell I=m nervo*s# he &oesn=t react@ He A*st peels the backing o"" a large 2an&B4i&# "i9ing it tightl( over m( c*t@ Then he balls m( han& into a "ist# c*pping it in his o%n# p*tting press*re on the %o*n& to stop the blee&ing@ His strong grip com"orts me# an& I contin*e@ EI &o that# sometimesD&ream abo*t her@ It %akes me *p ever( time@ E9cept# it=s not reall( her# evenDnot that I=& reall( kno%@ I have no memories o" her@ 4n& it %as a close& a&option# so m( parentsDthe <ercers# I meanD%on=t talk abo*t it@F For a moment# the kitchen is still# the lo% h*m o" the airBcon&itioning the onl( so*n& other than m( o%n an& Tha(er=s breathing@ 5hen a "e% more secon&s pass an& Tha(er &oesn=t sa( an(thing# I start to panic@ <a(be I share& too m*ch@ <a(be he &oesn=t %ant to hear m( lame &reams or angst abo*t m( birth parents@ It=s not something I like to think abo*t m(sel"@ I &on=t even %rite the "eelings &o%n in m( Ao*rnal@ 2*t then Tha(er sC*ee?es m( han& more tightl(@ EThat m*st be har&#F he sa(s simpl(@ 4 r*sh o" emotion %ashes over me@ It is the best thing# the onl( thing# reall(# to sa(@ E$o (o* hope to meet her some&a(+F Tha(er asks@ I consi&er this@ 4stonishingl(# it=s a C*estion no one has ever aske& me@ EI think so#F I sa(@ EI mean# there=s part o" me that=s reall( angr( at her# o" co*rseDever( a&opte& ki& "eels that %a(# probabl(@ I %ant to kno% %h( she gave me *p# %h( she co*l&n=t keep me@F E<a(be she ha& a goo& reason@F

E<a(be@F I no&@ E2*t more than that# I=& A*st like to see her@ Talk to her@ Fig*re o*t i" %e even have an(thing in common@F S*&&enl(# I "eel tears blinking at the corners o" m( e(es@ I s%allo% har&# horribl( embarrasse&@ I am not going to cr( aro*n& Tha(er@ I give an e9aggerate& shr*g@ E4n(%a(# %hatever@ Yo* aske& %hat I %as &reaming abo*t# so there (o* have it@F EThanks "or telling me#F Tha(er sa(s@ Then he takes a breath@ EI=m not a great sleeper# either@F E5h( not+F EInsomnia# mostl(@ 2*t I *se& to sleep%alk#F he con"esses# looking sheepish@ EIt *se& to "reak m( parents o*t so ba&l(@F E5hat &i& (o* &o+F He la*ghs@ E5ell# once the( came &o%nstairs to "in& me sitting *p on the co*ch in the &en# remote control in han&# %ith an in"omercial blaring@F E4n& (o* &on=t remember it+F He shakes his hea&@ ENope@ I %as so*n& asleep@F I c*"" him on the arm@ EThe(=re A*st l*ck( (o* &i&n=t or&er an(thing@ The( co*l&=ve gotten st*ck %ith a %hole b*nch o" Sn*ggies@F EOr -i"e 4lert alarms#F Tha(er Aokes@ EOr those in"rare& "lashlights that sho% (o* %here (o*r cats an& &ogs pee& on the carpet#F I a&&@ 5e both snicker# an& I=m grate"*l to Tha(er "or t*rning the conversation a%a( "rom m( mother an& lightening the moo&@ 5hen he p*lls his han& a%a( "rom mine# I reali?e I miss its %armth@ Then I ask# E5here=s the %eir&est place (o*=ve ever %oken *p+F EIn the batht*b# %ith the %ater r*nning#F he ans%ers %itho*t an( hesitation@ EI %as t%elve# an& m( parents lost it# thinking I might &ro%n one &a(@ <( &a& threatene& to take me to one o" those sleep specialists an& r*n tests@ Yo* kno%D%ith the electro&es an& the monitoring# like (o*=re some kin& o" lab rat@ I %asn=t into it@F His e(es &arken@ EHe %as so# so angr(@F EHe %as %orrie&#F I sa( &iplomaticall(@ Tha(er sni""s@ EI &on=t think so@F I &on=t sa( an(thing more# b*t I think I kno% %hat Tha(er is getting at@ This one time# <r@ >ega "lippe& o*t at <a&eline beca*se she %as %alking aro*n& the neighborhoo& bare"oot@ Not beca*se he %as %orrie& that she=& step on something sharp# b*t beca*se o" %hat the neighbors %o*l& think@ I=m not sa(ing he %asn=t concerne& abo*t Tha(er &ro%ning in the batht*b# o" co*rse# b*t I %on&er i" some o" his anger %as beca*se the %hole thing %as an a&&e& complication# an anno(ance# an o&&it(# "or him@ EParents are %eir&# aren=t the(+F I ask so"tl(@ Tha(er no&s@ EYo* sai& it@F

5e look at each other like %e have a special sort o" *n&erstan&ing@ I %ant to reach o*t# to br*sh a han& across the sharp angles o" his cheekbones# to tilt his ga?e back to me@ Or# at the ver( least# grab his han& an& sC*ee?e it tight@ 2*t I reali?e I=m scare&@ 5hat i" he p*lls a%a(+ 5hat i" he la*ghs+ ESo &o (o* still sleep%alk+F I ask@ ENah@F Tha(er shakes his hea&@ EI gre% o*t o" it# I g*ess@ 2*t I still have an9iet( &reams all the time@ <( big one is sho%ing at *p school an& reali?ing I=m in m( *n&er%ear@F EThat one=s a classic@F E$o (o* &ream abo*t that# too+F he asks@ I shake m( hea&@ ENo# I have other rec*rring &reams@F E4bo*t G +F Yo*# I almost sa(# then stop m(sel"@ 2*t Tha(er ga?es at me as tho*gh he=s rea&ing m( min&@ 4ll o" a s*&&en# he t%ines his "eet aro*n& the legs o" m( chair an& shi"ts me to%ar& him@ I can=t help b*t gasp# b*t I sa( nothing# an& I certainl( &on=t move a%a(@ 5e=re so close no% I=m envelope& in his clean# grass( scent@ I stare at him# an& he stares back@ There=s a r*shing so*n& in m( ears# perhaps the noise o" bloo& p*mping C*ickl( thro*gh m( veins@ I str*ggle not to "reak o*t completel(@ ESo# are (o* going to Nisha=s part( tomorro% night+F I ask cas*all(@ Tha(er looks startle& "or a moment# as tho*gh he &i&n=t e9pect the C*estion@ EI &on=t kno%@ Probabl(@ 5h(D&o (o* %ant me to go+F I open m( mo*th# then sh*t it again@ O" co*rse I &o@ 2*t the i&ea o" sa(ing it "ills me %ith Aitters@ It makes me "eel nee&(# *ncool# %a( o"" center@ E5ell# I &on=t care either %a(#F I sa( lightl(# tho*gh m( voice cracks at the en&@ E2*t# *m# I think m( sister &oes@ I think she might have a cr*sh on (o*@F I arch an e(ebro%# %aiting "or his reaction# an(thing to s*ggest that he might ret*rn her "eelings@ Tha(er &oesn=t "linch@ 4 slo% grin breaks o*t across his bea*ti"*l "ace@ He tilts his hea& so close to mine %e=re practicall( breathing the same air@ E$o (o* reall( %ant to talk abo*t -a*rel right no%+F he %hispers@ <( mo*th &rops open in shock@ E!m#F I sa(# b*t then m( min& goes blank@ Is he going to kiss me+ His con"i&ence is into9icating@ I look a%a(# m( heart th*&&ing like a hammer against m( ribs@ Tha(er reaches *p an& s%eeps m( hair back o"" o" m( sho*l&ers@ E!m#F he teases# angling m( "ace to%ar& his@ So it is going to happen@ I lo%er m( e(es an& inch to%ar& him@ Tha(er=s ro*gh han& gra?es m( "orehea& lightl(@ I hol& m( breath# e9cite& an& e9pectant# as o*r "aces move closer# an& G ETha(er+F

For the secon& time since %aking *p# I A*mp@ Tha(er shoots a%a( "rom me an& stan&s *p@ -a*rel looms in the &oor%a(# her arms crosse& over her chest@ There=s an inscr*table e9pression on her "ace# an& I %on&er ho% long she=s been stan&ing there@ EI %as %on&ering %hat %as taking so long#F -a*rel sa(s a"ter a moment@ Tha(er=s cheeks re&&en@ He hitches *p his Aeans an& points to the "irstBai& kit on the table@ ES*tton broke a glass@ I %as helping her clean *p@F His ga?e is onl( on -a*rel# not me@ I shi"t a%a(# staring at m( ban&age& han&@ 4ll o" a s*&&en# the prospect o" kissing Tha(er seems *nthinkable# impossible@ <a(be he=& never inten&e& to &o it at allDma(be he %as A*st scre%ing %ith me@ 4n& he move& a%a( "rom me like a slingshot# as tho*gh he %as horri"ie& at the i&ea that -a*rel %o*l& catch *s together@ $oes he "in& me that *nkissable+ 5hatever# I think@ I rise "rom m( chair an& snatch the "irstBai& kit "rom the table@ EThanks "or (o*r help# Tha(er#F I sa( cooll(@ Then I t*rn to -a*rel@ EHave "*n in (o*r little cl*bho*se#F I snap@ I "lo*nce past them an& &o%n the hall# sho*l&ers thro%n back@ I %ant to t*rn aro*n& an& see i" Tha(er is staring# b*t I &on=t &are@ On m( %a( *p the stairs# I tell m(sel" sternl(: It %as nothing@ Yo* &on=t have "eelings "or Tha(er@ Yo* &on=t have "eelings "or Tha(er@ 2*t no matter ho% man( times I repeat it# it "eels like# "or the ver( "irst time# I=m l(ing to m(sel"@

4 TOT4- 54STE OF 4 PE$IC!7E On Th*rs&a( evening# as the settling &*sk paints the sk( a brilliant# streak( %atercolor o" pink# orange# an& (ello%# Charlotte# <a&eline# an& I Aam into m( vintage >olvo# Flo(&# an& hea& to Nisha=s part(@ I grip the steering %heel tightl( an& accelerate thro*gh the t*rns@ The air smells o" c*t grass an& charcoal grills# an& Sabino Can(on an& the Catalina <o*ntains rise large an& bea*ti"*l in "ront o" me@ Finall(# I t*rn onto Nisha=s street# the %in& tickling m( cheek almost pla("*ll(@ I grin an& crank *p the vol*me on the ra&io as a 8a(B/ remi9 comes on@ <a&eline lets o*t a %hoop@ Charlotte sticks her hea& o*t the %in&o% like a &og# then p*lls it back in %hen she reali?es it=s messing *p her hair@ ETonight=s going to be ke( "or Operation -overbo(DI can A*st "eel itIF Charlotte sC*eals ne9t to me# breaking into a little imprompt* shimm( in her seat@ Her t*rC*oise &angle earrings s%a( back an& "orth# an& the hea&(# clo(ing scent o" Pra&a Can&( that she=s &o*se& hersel" in %a"ts m( %a(@ EOperation %hat+F I ask# shooting her a stern look@ EOperation -overbo(#F Charlotte repeats@ EYo* kno%@ Yo* an& Tha(er# sitting in a tree+F

5e p*ll along the c*rb a "e% ho*ses &o%n "rom Nisha=s lo%# SpanishBst(le ranchDbeing "ashionabl( late means losing o*t on the best parking spots# *n"ort*natel(@ 4s I kill the ignition# I shoot Char &aggers@ EI tho*ght I tol& (o* not to call it that@F E5hatever@F Charlotte %aves a han& at me &ismissivel(@ EI &on=t care %hat %e call it@ I A*st %ant to &o it@ Tonight=s the night# S*tton@ Yo* look s*perBhot@F I s%allo% har&@ <( stomach is A*mping# b*t ma(be it=s beca*se I=ve har&l( eaten all &a(@ I check m( re"lection in the rearvie% mirror# an& I have to sa(# Char is right@ <( hair casca&es &o%n m( sho*l&ers in so"t %aves@ The re&Ban&B%hite printe& silk halter top brings o*t the rosiness in m( skin an& the green "lecks in m( e(es@ 4n& m( smile is bigger an& %obblier than *s*al beca*se# %ell# I=m e9cite&@ 7ea&( "or the possibilit( o" G possibilit(@ I can=t remember the last time I %ent to this m*ch tro*ble "or a g*(# care& so m*ch# "*sse& so ba&l( over ever( single $iorsho%Bcoate& e(elash an& ever( last stran& o" hair@ 2*t a"ter last night I A*st can=t ignore these "eelings@ The(=re "ront an& center@ H*ge letters on a marC*ee@ The "irst tho*ght I have %hen I go to sleep an& %ake *p@ I can=t believe it m(sel"# b*t# (eah: I=m into him@ For real@ 4n& no% I nee& to kno%# once an& "or all# i" he=s into me@ 5hat that means "or m( "rien&s# the other ki&s at school G -a*rel# I have no i&ea@ 2*t I can=t %orr( abo*t that A*st (etDI have to "ig*re it o*t %ith Tha(er "irst@ 5e get o*t o" the car@ 4cross the street# t%o little girls &resse& e9actl( alike are perche& on matching bic(cles# pe&aling aro*n& their &rive%a(@ The grosgrain ribbons in their pigtails are per"ectl( coor&inate& to the piping on their bic(cle baskets# an& their san&als are the e9act same sha&e o" b*bble g*m pink@ -a*rel an& I *se& to &ress like that# back %hen %e %ere "rien&s an& ha& less control over o*r %ar&robe@ 4 %ave o" g*ilt %ashes over me as I consi&er ho% "ar apart %e=ve gro%n# an& %hat I ma( &o tonight@ Steal Tha(er "rom her@ I" I can@ 2*t I nee& to keep *p the "ront "or a little %hile longer# beca*se i" Tha(er &oesn=t like me G I hol& back a sh*&&er@ EYo* g*(s# (o* sho*l& have been there last night# in the kitchen#F I sa( to m( "rien&s as %e hea& &o%n the si&e%alk@ EI=m telling (o*# Tha(er=s# like# in love %ith me# bigBtime@ I=m going to ask him on a picnic "or tomorro% night@ I=ll seal the &eal there@F ES%eet#F Charlotte chirps@ EHe &eserves it#F <a&s a&&s@ I thro% back m( sho*l&ers con"i&entl( as %e stri&e *p Nisha=s &rive%a(@ 2ass po*n&s "rom the back(ar&@ ;i&s stan& on the "ront la%n# too# an&# not s*rprisingl(# ever( bo( %e pass stares at *s@ 4s I t*rn aro*n& to lock Flo(&# I even see a c*rtain "l*tter ne9t &oor@ I" I=m not mistaken# it=s Ethan -an&r(=s ho*se@ 5h( &oesn=t he A*st come tonight+ It=s not like he=s ba&BlookingDhe co*l& totall( hang o*t at a part( i" he acte& normal@ S*&&enl(# I=m bombar&e& b( voices: ES*ttonI Yo* look ahBma?ingIF EIs that top Thakoon+F Then I hear the &istinctive# electronic click o" an iPhone camera an& look *p@ :abb( an& -ili beam at me# phones in han&@

I e9ten& m( palm@ E:irls# no pict*res o" me in T%itterBlan& %itho*t m( permission@F :abb( peers at the screen# then presents the photo to me "or approval@ I take in the image o" m(sel" on the si&e%alk@ <( smile is %i&e an& s*rprise&@ 2*t I look a little nervo*s# too@ 4 little# &are I sa(# in love@ -ili is alrea&( tapping a%a( "*rio*sl(@ EThank :o& (o* g*(s are here@ <aking a gran& entrance# as *s*al@F Then she glances at Charlotte@ EOh@ :arrett %as looking "or (o*@F Charlotte smiles cooll(@ E5hatev@ It never h*rts to keep a g*( %aiting@F 2*t even as she sa(s it# she=s rising on her tiptoes to pick him o*t o" the cro%&@ I %ant to make "*n o" her# b*t then I remember :arrett sho%ing *p on m( porch the other &a( %ith that %eir& stor( abo*t the phone@ I=& "orgotten to mention it to herDor ma(be I &i&n=t %ant to@ I onl( hope :arrett &oesn=t sa( an(thing# either@ Char might think I %as &eliberatel( hi&ing it or something@ 5e enter the living room# %hich is spacio*s an& &ecorate& in st(lish ne*trals@ 4 cl*ster o" tin( tea lights t%inkle "rom a marble console table# an& the smell o" gar&enia mi9e& %ith beer envelops me@ 4lmost all o" m( classmates are hereDat least# the ones %ho sho*l& be here# chatting eagerl( an& enAo(ing the ver( last gasp o" s*mmer@ Starling 7*sse# %ho=s on the tennis team# spots me an& %aves broa&l(# bran&ishing a giant plastic re& c*p@ The "lori& h*e o" her pert nose tells me that %hatever she=s &rinking# it=s not her "irst@ There are &iscar&e& re& plastic c*ps on the "loor# a b*nch o" chips spille& on the table# an& a splash o" something s*spicio*s on one o" the %alls@ The m*sic is so lo*& it=s making ever(thing vibrate@ E$i& %e miss an(thing goo&+F <a&eline asks :abb( lo*&l(# craning her neck to take in ever(thing at once@ :abb( rolls her e(es@ ENot reall(@ Nisha=s "reaking# tho*gh@ I g*ess she ass*me& %e %ere going to keep this place spotless or something@F I snort@ EShe=s %o*n& so tight@F Then I sp( Nisha at the "oot o" the stairs# hol&ing co*rt among a cl*ster o" other girls "rom the team@ 2*t she &oesn=t look stresse& to me@ She=s gestic*lating lavishl( an& tossing her gloss( &ark pon(tail over one sho*l&er@ Several o" the tennis girls glance m( %a( an& %ave# b*t Nisha A*st gives me a snottil( arche& e(ebro%@ 5hatever@ <( presence here makes the part(# an& she kno%s it@ I contin*e s*rve(ing the room@ There=s 8e"" ;at? "rom the "ootball team# an& :reg 7ichter# the act*all( cool class presi&ent@ 4 co*ple o" senior girls &resse& in 2C2: "rocks stan& impassivel( b( the sli&ingBglass &oors# glancing at their phones@ <( ga?e s%eeps across the "aces again an& again# b*t then I reali?e: Tha(er isn=t an(%here@ Is it possible he &i&n=t come+ I lean over to <a&eline@ EIt=s too hot in here@ I=m gonna get a &rink an& hea& to the back(ar&@F She no&s@ E:oo& l*ck "in&ing m( brother@F I "ree?e# %on&ering i" I=ve someho% given m(sel" a%a(@ $oes she kno% ho% I "eel+ $oes she reali?e that "or me# it=s not a prank an(more+ 2*t <a&eline is smiling at me e9cite&l( %itho*t a trace o" g*ile in her e9pression@ I breathe o*t# "eeling &r*nk even tho*gh I haven=t ha& a sip o" an(thing (et@ S*&&enl(# I reall( &o nee& to get o*tsi&e to cool &o%n@

I p*sh thro*gh pockets o" people# making m( %a( thro*gh the ho*se@ The kitchen is %here the cro%& is thickest# ki&s milling aro*n& an over"lo%ing keg# &rape& across the p*nchBstaine& kitchen table# an& perche&# legs s%inging# on the limestone co*ntertop@ :arrett %orks the p*mp "or a throng o" bee"( Aocks# tho*gh he &oesn=t hol& a c*p o" beer himsel"@ I &ebate getting his attention to let him kno% that Charlotte=s arrive&# b*t I C*ickl( &eci&e against it@ He might think I &eliberatel( so*ght him o*t@ Then a %ave o" Polo cologne almost knocks me on m( b*tt@ EHe(# S*tton# looking goo&#F sa(s a voice# an& a "reckle&# greenBe(e& "ace pops *p into m( "iel& o" vie%@ It=s 4i&an :rove# m( "iveBsecon& s*mmer cr*sh@ No% he=s looking at me eagerl(# like tonight might be the night "or *s@ 2*t he=s not %ho I=m here "or@ EHe(# 4i&an#F I sa( &istracte&l(# glancing over his sho*l&er into the back(ar&@ 5here is that mess( &ark hair# those t%inkling ha?el e(es+ 5hat i" Tha(er &eci&es not to come+ I think o" the conversation %e ha& in the mi&&le o" the night@ 4re (o* going to Nisha=s+ Probabl(@ 5h(# &o (o* %ant me to go+ ESo ho%=s (o*r s*mmer been+F 4i&an asks@ E-ooking "or%ar& to going back to Hollier+F E!h# s*re#F I sa(# m( e(es still on the cro%&@ Then I have an epiphan(: <a(be Tha(er is r*nning late# later than me@ 5hich is in"*riating# beca*se I time& o*r arrival "or ma9im*m impact# b*t ma(be Tha(er kno%s ho% to beat me at m( o%n game@ I reach into m( bag an& p*ll o*t m( cell@ <a(be he te9te&@ 2*t I can see right a%a( that m( home screen %allpaper is completel( *n&ist*rbe&@ 4 recent snapshot o" Charlotte# <a&eline# an& me greets me brightl(# *nmarre& b( a te9t b*bble or misse& call noti"ication@ EHo%=s (o*r tennis game this (ear+F 4i&an asks@ I look *p# astonishe& he=s still stan&ing there@ E!h# (o* kno%@F EYo* %ant a beer+F I barel( m*mble a response@ <( insi&es "eel like the(=re on "ire@ I have never been so completel( con"o*n&e& b( a member o" the opposite se9@ I have never not been the one to call the shots@ 5hatever=s going on %ith Tha(er# it=s totall( *n"amiliar an& ne%@ 4n& honestl(+ It=s kin& o" thrilling@ <( e9citement m*st sho% on m( "ace# beca*se 4i&an=s mo*th t*rns *p at the corners@ EI=ll get (o* a beer# thenIF he sa(s emphaticall(@ E-et=s part(IF I place a han& on his sho*l&er# c*tting him o""@ E!h# on secon& tho*ght# I=m cool@ I think I see <a&eline o*tsi&e#F I sa(# no&&ing to%ar& the back &oor@ EI have to ask her abo*t something@F He "ro%ns@ EIsn=t that <a&eline right there+F He points behin& me# an& lo an& behol&# there=s <a&eline talking to Finn Ha&le(# the ver( i&iot that &itche& her "or the a* pair earlier this s*mmer@ I" I %eren=t so preocc*pie&# I=& march over there an& give her a stern talkingBto@

I t*rn back to 4i&an@ E!m# I A*st nee& GF I o""er him an apologetic smile an& p*sh past him to the &oor@ 5ho cares i" I &on=t have a goo& e9c*se+ 4i&an is histor(@ There are "e%er ki&s o*tsi&e# an& the so*n& o" crickets an& the &*ll b*?? o" conversation mel& together in a pleasant h*m@ The night air is cool# an& the &amp# &e%( grass tickles at m( toes thro*gh m( strapp( %e&ge san&als@ I inhale the scent o" the %arm s*mmer evening# "lavore& b( the scent o" %oo&smoke a "e% ho*ses &o%n@ 4n& then# "rom across the la%n# I see a r*stling o" the he&ges as the gate "rom the "ront &rive s%ings open@ 4 bo( steps thro*gh an& onto the back patio@ <( breath catches in m( throat@ Tha(er@ <( heart hammers as he sa*nters thro*gh the gate# his thick hair still &amp "rom a sho%er@ One c*rl "alls messil( across his "orehea&@ He %ears a shortBsleeve& b*ttonB&o%n that hangs per"ectl( on his soli& "rame an& Aeans that o*tline his m*sc*lar legs@ ETha(er#F I call o*t# raising one han& to %ave@ 2*t then# %hen m( ga?e locks on the "ig*re behin& him# I lo%er m( han& imme&iatel(@ The girl sh*ts the latch o" the %oo&en gate an& trots "or%ar& to take Tha(er=s han&@ Her grasp is possessive an& sho%(@ He=s mine# it sa(s@ 4ll mine@ I take a big step back# hoping# pra(ing# he hasn=t hear& me call his name@ 4n& as the t%o o" them step into the light# I get a goo& look at that blon& pon(tail# that compact# trimB"romBtennis "rame# an& the pair o" 8ames Aeans she onl( bo*ght beca*se I ha& them@ 4n& m( stomach sinks to m( "eet@ The girl hol&ing on to Tha(er "or &ear li"e is m( sister@ -a*rel@

16

T!7N42O!T IS F4I7 P-4Y ETha(erI He(# manIF I stan&# roote& to the e&ge o" Nisha=s back(ar&# %atching as Tha(er=s soccer b*&&ies cl*ster aro*n& him greeting him eagerl(@ It=s a lot o" g*(B ish backBslapping an& *n&erstate& hea&Bno&&ing@ -a*rel remains b( Tha(er=s si&e thro*gh ever( secon&# her e(es gl*e& to his "ace@ 5hen she=s "orce& to let go o" his han& %hile he sa(s hi to the team# she looks almost like a boat that=s &ri"te& a%a( "rom its slip@ She keeps a pale han& hovering near the small o" his back an& ga?es *p at him a&oringl(# possessivel(@ 5hat I can=t tell# tho*ghDan& %hat=s serio*sl( killing me right no%Dis %hether Tha(er "eels the same %a( abo*t her@ I think abo*t the i&iotic# IB &on=tB%antBtoBrevealBm(B"eelingsBsoBI=llBmakeB(o*BthinkBIB&on=tBcare thing I sai& last night: I think -a*rel %ants (o* to go@ She has a cr*sh on (o*@ 5hat i" Tha(er took it to heart+ 5hat i" the( %ent back into the cl*bho*se last night an& Tha(er con"ronte& her abo*t it+ <a(be -a*rel %as like# Yeah#

I reall( like (o*@ $o (o* like me+ 4n& Tha(er# thinking I %o*l& never like him# perhaps shr*gge& an& sai&# Totall(@ -et=s be a co*ple@ He never act*all( &enie& having "eelings "or her# a"ter all@ 4n& the( %ere hol&ing han&s@ <( hea& starts to spin@ I can=t believe I=m Aealo*s o" -a*relDbeca*se o" Tha(er@ Ever(thing abo*t this night is totall( insi&e o*t# an& I onl( A*st got here@ ES*ttonI Here=s that beerIF I %hirl aro*n&@ 4i&an is coming to%ar& me# hol&ing a bottle in his han&s@ There=s a hope"*l e9pression on his "ace# meaning he completel( misse& m( signals insi&e@ 2*t ma(be this is per"ect timing@ I look back at Tha(er# %ho still hasn=t ackno%le&ge& m( presence@ T%o can pla( at this game# I think@ There=s one %a( to &iscover e9actl( %hat Tha(er thinks o" me: to "eign interest in someone else@ It=s *s*all( at the bottom o" m( bag o" tricks# b*t I=m serio*sl( r*nning o*t o" options here@ I t*rn to 4i&an@ EThank (o* soo m*ch#F I croon# taking the pro""ere& beer "rom him an& clinking m( bottle against his@ ECheers@F 4s I take a &eep s%ig# I can almost "eel the moment %hen Tha(er t*rns an& locks e(es on me@ I peek over# an& (es# he=s staring@ :oo&@ 2*t then he catches me looking an& arches a C*estioning e(ebro% in m( &irection@ Not a Aealo*s e(ebro%@ Not an envio*s# love str*ck e9pression@ It=s almost like he=s challenging me: C=mon# S*tton@ I kno% (o*=re A*st &oing this to make me Aealo*s@ Yo*=re s*ch a sill( girl@ I t*rn sti""l( back to 4i&an an& thr*st m( beer at him@ ECan (o* hol& this "or a secon&+ I nee& to a&A*st m( top@F ES*re#F 4i&an sa(s# an& %atches me as I reach *p to m( neck# *ntie the thin straps o" the halter# an& allo% the "abric to pool ever so slightl( so that A*st a bit more o" m( collarbone is e9pose&@ ECan (o* get m( hair+F I m*rm*r to 4i&an@ E!h GF 4i&an "*mbles iron patio table@ He top@ His han&s shake b*t I=m not going to check it o*t@ "or a moment# then places both bottles a%k%ar&l( on an steps "or%ar& an& li"ts m( hair so that I can retie m( slightl(@ I hope I=m having the same e""ect on Tha(er# give him the satis"action o" looking over at him to

EIs that goo&+F 4i&an asks@ EThat=s per"ect#F I p*rr# t*rning back to 4i&an an& r*nning a "inger thro*gh m( loose c*rls@ 4i&an la*ghs@ He grabs his beer an& takes another sip@ I take a sip o" mine# too@ Finall(# I can=t stan& it an(more@ I t*rn an& look at Tha(er@ He=s stan&ing in the same spot %ith the soccer g*(s# b*t his ga?e is still on me@ 5hen he sees me glancing his %a(# he raises a han& in a cas*al %ave@ I %hip m( hea& back to 4i&an@ Tha(er is going to have to %ork m*ch# m*ch har&er than that@ ESo#F I sa( to 4i&an# si&ling closer to him@ EHas an(one ever tol& (o* that (o* have ama?ing cal" m*scles+F 4i&an t*rns pink@ EOh# %ell# %e r*n a lot in practice# I g*ess@F

4"ter Tha(er=s magnetic con"i&ence# 4i&an=s nervo*sness "eels like a let&o%n@ I %on&er %hat I ever sa% in him@ 2*t I smile an& p*rr# EOh# I can tell@F Enco*rage& b( m( response# 4i&an la*nches into a lect*re abo*t the vario*s %eight e9ercises he &oes to enhance his calves@ I sneak another glance at Tha(er# an& m( heart picks *p spee&@ He=s p*shing thro*gh the cro%&# hea&ing right to me@ -a*rel has been le"t behin& at the "ence# an& she looks bere"t an& slightl( lost@ I "eel a slight regret"*l t%ingeDeven tho*gh -a*rel &rives me cra?(# she=s still m( sister@ 2*t %hat I "eel "or Tha(er is totall( &i""erent than %hat I=ve "elt "or an(one else@ 4ll=s "air in love an& %ar# right+ I step closer to 4i&an# to*ching his "orearm lightl(@ E5ant to &ance+F He grins broa&l(@ ES*re@F He takes m( han& an& lea&s me back into the ho*se@ He steps thro*gh the threshol& to%ar& the h*mi&# cro%&e& air o" the kitchen# an& I t*rn# o""ering one last look over m( sho*l&er at Tha(er@ His mo*th is set in a thin# tight line# an& his "orehea& is crease& in "r*stration@ That=s ho% I kno% m( plan is %orking@

11

YO! C4N $4NCE IF YO! 54NT TO The basementBlevel rec room o" the 2anerAee ho*se has been trans"orme& into a makeshi"t &ance "loor@ The space is h*ge an& "inishe& in smooth# creamB colore& st*cco an& a&obe tiling# %ith moo&(# striking &esertBscape photograph( a&orning the %alls@ The pl*sh sectional so"as have been p*she& asi&e to make room "or the cr*sh o" bo&ies@ Tea lights "licker &o%n here# too# casting %avering sha&o%s along the %alls@ Someone has C*e*e& an eighties &ance pla(list# an& the room is "ren?ie&# smelling o" a s%eat( mi9 o" s*mmer(# "loral per"*mes@ It=s act*all( slightl( s*""ocating# an& I=& rather be o*tsi&e again in the cool# "resh night air# b*t &ancing %ith 4i&an is the best %a( to "astBtrack m( plan@ I glance aro*n& me as I lea& 4i&an onto the &ance "loor@ Tha(er hasn=t come insi&e@ Once again# I=m tense@ $i& he &eci&e I %asn=t %orth it+ 4i&an an& I s%a( to some classic <a&onnaD4i&an &oing more o" a &ork( kneeB &ipNhea&Bbob thingDan& I tr( to lose m(sel" in the m*sic# closing m( e(es an& "eeling the rh(thm@ 2*t m( min& is scattere& in a million &i""erent &irections@ 5hat is Tha(er &oing right no%+ Has he gone back to -a*rel+ I move closer to 4i&an# resting a han& on his hip "lirtatio*sl( an& &ra%ing his "ace in to%ar& mine@ 4i&an grins an& %raps his arms aro*n& m( sho*l&ers in response# resting his claspe& han&s lightl( on the back o" m( neck@ 5e t*rn an& t%irl# navigating the cro%&e& "loor as people act*all( step asi&e "or *s@ !ntil there=s a tap at 4i&an=s sho*l&er an& %e pa*se# mi&Bstep@

I look *p# an& m( heart soars@ T%o searing bea*ti"*l ha?el e(es search mine@ E<in& i" I c*t in+F Tha(er asks# his look impl(ing that no is not an option@ The C*estion is "or me# not "or 4i&an# an& I can=t bring m(sel" to &ecline@ 4i&an p*""s o*t his chest A*st like a male bir& &*ring mating season@ 2*t something in Tha(er=s "ace makes him back &o%n@ EOka(#F he sa(s rel*ctantl(@ He looks at me@ E4nother beer+F EThanks# 4i&an@F I o""er him a s%eet smile to smooth the moment over@ Tha(er moves to%ar& me# an& %hen he to*ches m( hip# anticipation ripples &o%n m( spine@ The m*sic s%itches "rom *pbeat to a slo%# lang*i& balla&@ 5e e9change a glance# barel( hesitating be"ore melting into each other@ S*&&enl(# ever(thing "eels *tterl( right@ He &oes like me@ I can "eel it in his "ast heartbeat# his shallo% breathing# his sigh@ I inhale &eepl(# taking in Tha(er=s clean scent@ He places one han& on the small o" m( back# an& m( skin tingles@ I rest m( "ingers on his sho*l&ers# tracing patterns against the strong# "irm m*scles o" his back@ 5e p*ll a%a( "or a moment an& stare at each other# both %ith small smiles on o*r "aces@ 5e &on=t speak@ There is no nee& to speak@ Tha(er leans in to %hisper in m( ear@ E-et=s get o*t o" here#F he sa(s so"tl(@ His lips against m( cheek make me shiver@ I no& slo%l(@ EOka(@F He takes m( han& an& %in&s me thro*gh the cr*sh o" people again# *pstairs an& o*t the "ront &oor@ There isn=t an(one else in the "ront (ar&# an& %e cr*nch thro*gh the gravel *ntil %e=re o*t o" the porch lights@ 4 slight bree?e blo%s the spin( branches o" a mesC*ite tree# an& stars glitter a ps(che&elic pattern against an obsi&ian back&rop@ Hal"%a( across the (ar&# Tha(er t*rns to me an& p*ts his han&s on m( sho*l&ers@ There=s a heartbreakingl( gorgeo*s smile on his "ace# an& s*&&enl(# I "eel sill( "or the games I=ve pla(e&@ ETha(er# I=m sorr(#F I start@ EShh#F he sa(s@ He p*ts his "inger to his lips# then moves "or%ar& to kiss me@ So"tl(# at "irst# an& then %ith more *rgenc(@ I "ol& into him# %rapping m( han&s aro*n& his %aist an& p*lling him to%ar& me tightl(@ His han&s sli&e &o%n m( back as I rake m( "ingers thro*gh his mess( %aves@ His lips trace m( earlobe# m( Aa%# m( neck@ I moan# arching back an& cl*tching him tighter@ I=ve kisse& other g*(s be"ore# b*t nothing compares to this@ 5e &on=t speak# A*st kiss an& to*ch an& breathe each other in@ 5e=re completel( intert%ine&# like %e=re the onl( t%o people %ho e9ist in the *niverse@ In "act# it=s almost like %e=re one person# %e=re so completel( an& *tterl( in t*ne %ith each other@ I never %ant to separate@ !ntil I hear a r*stle "rom the he&ges@ 4n& then a %icke& cackle@ I shoot a%a(@ That=s <a&eline=s la*gh@

2*t be"ore I can sa( an(thing# be"ore I can stop them# Charlotte an& <a&eline are A*mping o*t o" the b*shes# camera phones in han&s# tri*mphant looks on their "aces@ E:otcha# Tha(erIF the( scream as the "lashes go o""@

S!7P7ISE# S!7P7ISE Tha(er an& I blink in the "lashes o" light@ E:otchaIF Char cro%s again@ EYo* are so b*ste&# Tha(erIF <a&eline sC*eals@ Tha(er makes an anno(e& "ace@ E5hat the hell# g*(s+F ESa( cheeseIF <a&eline trills# taking another pict*re@ Then she t*rns to Charlotte an& slaps her high "ive@ E4nother -(ing :ame s*ccessIF Tha(er sC*ints@ E-(ing :ame+F He sa(s it like he=s never hear& o" it be"ore@ 2*t I kno% he has@ I=m s*re -a*rel=s tol& him abo*t it# i" he &i&n=t alrea&( kno% "rom school@ I "eel paral(?e&@ I %ant to someho% p*t on the brakes# make this all stop# b*t the %or&s %on=t come o*t o" m( mo*th@ Ever(thing is happening too "ast@ <a&eline straightens an& %hirls to%ar& me# her bl*e e(es shining like gemstones@ ESorr( %e interr*pte& be"ore (o* ha& a chance to invite him to the picnic# S*tton#F she sa(s@ E2*t %hen %e sa% (o* g*(s &ancing# %e kne% (o* %ere going to seal the &eal tonight@ 5e A*st co*l&n=t hol& back@F Tha(er looks at me@ ESeal the &eal+ 5hat are the( talking abo*t+F <a&eline p*ts her han& on her hip@ E5hat &o (o* think %e=re talking abo*t# Tha(er+F Charlotte g*""a%s@ EYo* &on=t think S*tton %o*l& act*all( go "or (o*# &o (o*+F $ark reali?ation &a%ns on Tha(er=s chisele& "eat*res@ He stares at me# his e(es %i&e@ ES*tton+F he asks@ E5hat the hell is going on+F EI GF It comes o*t o" me like a b*rp@ 8*st sa( it# I tell m(sel"@ 8*st tell (o*r "rien&s that (o* reall( %ante& to kiss him@ 2*t m( mo*th can=t "orm the %or&s@ The moment I sa( it# m( "rien&s %ill lose all respect "or me@ 5hat %as I thinking# &ancing %ith Tha(er "or real# "or keeps# in "ront o" ever(one+ Ho% co*l& I have tho*ght the(=& A*st accept this+ 4n& it=s all m( "a*lt@ I" I=& have "o*ght har&er to stop the prank# this %o*l&n=t have happene&@ Even i" I=& ha& to p*ll back "rom Tha(er# preten& I &i&n=t like him# at least it %o*l& be better than this@ Charlotte gasps@ EOh m( :o&@ He reall( "ell "or itI He act*all( tho*ght she like& himIF

EThis is better than %e imagine&#F <a&eline sa(s@ EYo* reall( tho*ght (o* %ere so hot that the most pop*lar girl in school %o*l& %ant to go o*t %ith (o*+F Tha(er steps back as tho*gh %e=ve p*nche& him@ ES*tton# is this tr*e+F 4 %ave o" na*sea ripples thro*gh me@ No# I %ant to sa(@ O" co*rse not@ 2*t then m( stomach l*rches@ I kno% %hat I have to &o@ I have no choice@ I thr*st m( han&s into m( pockets an& %ork to keep m( voice stea&(@ EIt %as a prank# Tha(er#F I hiss# m*stering *p ever( bit o" scorn I possibl( can@ EYo* nee&e& to be knocke& &o%n a "e% pegs@ Yo* can thank *s later@F Tha(er=s bro%s knit together@ He balls his han&s into "ists@ EYo*=ve got to be ki&&ing me+F ENopeIF Charlotte cro%s glee"*ll(@ He staggers back%ar&# almost barreling into a cact*s@ ESo# ever(thing %e talke& abo*t+ That moment %e ha& at (o*r ho*se+ Those te9ts+ None o" it %as tr*e+F I can=t even look at him@ ENo@F Tha(er shakes his hea& slo%l(@ E:o&# S*tton@ Yo*=re an even bigger bitch than ever(one sa(s@F I "eel &i??(# the air r*shing "rom m( l*ngs@ I kno% %hat people sa( abo*t me# o" co*rse@ I kno% %hat the( think@ It=s A*st# I &on=t care abo*t their opinions@ Onl( Tha(er=s@ EIt=s oka(# 2ab( 2ro#F <a&eline singsongs@ E5e can "in& (o* someone more (o*r spee&@ <a(be a mi&&le schooler+F 2*t Tha(er barel( hears her@ He=s still staring at me@ EThat %o*l& be better than getting involve& %ith (o*#F Tha(er sa(s# his voice thick %ith &isg*st@ EHave (o* ever been honest a &a( in (o*r li"e+F Insi&e# I reel# b*t m( e9pression is totall( controlle&@ E5ith g*(s I like# Tha(er@ Not %ith (o*@F Tha(er=s "ace contorts into an *gl( grimace# an& he %hirls aro*n&# kicking clo*&s o" &*st *p "rom the gravel o" the 2anerAee "ront &rive as he r*ns into the mi&&le o" the street@ 4 l*mp "orms in m( chest@ I %ant to "ollo% him@ I %ant to "i9 this@ 2*t %ith m( "rien&s stan&ing here# %atching me# I can=t@ Charlotte cackles# &o*bling over@ EOh m( :o&# <a&s# I think he=s act*all( cr(ing@F Still giggling# <a&eline straightens *p an& claps me on the sho*l&er@ EThat@ 5as@ 4ma?ing@ :oo& %ork# S*tton@F E!hBh*h#F I sa( %oo&enl(@ EI can=t %ait to sen& that pict*re aro*n&#F Charlotte e9claims@ E5e kne% (o* co*l& bag him#F <a&eline sa(s@

4n& then m( best "rien&s link arms %ith me# one on either si&e# an& lea& me back to the part(@ Not that I=m in the moo& "or it an(more@ 7ight no%# there=s onl( one tho*ght r*nning thro*gh m( min&: 5hat &i& I A*st &o+

1'

7E:7ETS ON-Y ES*tton# can (o* please stop bogarting the T%i??lers+F E5hat+ Oh# s*re@ Sorr(@F I i&l( pass the giant bag o" stra%berr( licorice across the co*ch to Charlotte@ It=s later that same night# an& %e=re back in <a&eline=s "amil( room@ 5e sta(e& at the part( "or a %hile a"ter the EprankF %as e9pose&# an& I %ent thro*gh the motions as best as I co*l&# b*t I can=t get Tha(erDan& that &evastate& look on his "aceDo*t o" m( min&@ I &i&n=t see him again at the part(# not that I %o*l& have kno%n %hat to &o or to sa( to him i" I ha&@ There=s part o" me that &oesn=t %ant to be here at all@ I=& rather be home# sn*ggle& *p %ith Scoob(B$oo# thinking abo*t ho% it "elt to kiss Tha(erDan& ho% I co*l& "i9 ever(thing that happene& tonight@ Tha(er m*st have come home earlier than %e &i&# an& %e haven=t hear& a peep "rom his room since %e got here@ Still# traces o" him permeate the >egas= me&ia room: a battere& cop( o" Spin sitting on the sleek# mi&Bcent*r( mo&ern co""ee table# a ro% o" slightl( tarnishe& soccer trophies locke& in a tall glass cabinet# a ke( chain tosse& in a &ecorative bo%l %ith the Hollier High logo@ Tha(er is all aro*n& me@ Too ba& he %ants nothing to &o %ith me no%@ Then <a&eline shoots *p@ ECharlotte# be care"*l %ith the $iet CokeI I" (o* spill on the leather so"a# m( &a& is going to kill me@F Something in her tone s*ggests that it=s not an e9aggeration@ E:o&# sorr(@F Charlotte sets her glass on a coaster on the co""ee table@ E5e sho*l&n=t be &rinking so&a# an(%a(D%e sho*l& have champagne to celebrate the smashing s*ccess o" the "irst -(ing :ame prank o" the seasonIF E$one an& &one#F <a&eline sa(s@ E4n& ma(be it=ll give *s some inspiration "or the backBtoBschool prank@ 4s long as %e=re on a roll@F Then she rises an& pa&s to the <a& <enLst(le h*tch that stan&s a&Aacent to the oversi?e& "latBscreen T> on the "ar si&e o" the room@ She sli&es the cabinet &oors open an& pokes aro*n& insi&e it# her b*n bobbing *p an& &o%n lightl( as she h*nts@ 4"ter a moment# she emerges# tri*mphantl( bran&ishing a hal"B"*ll bottle o" 4bsol*t@ E5ill vo&ka &o+F

E4bsol*tBl(#F Charlotte trills# b*t I can=t even m*ster the energ( to roll m( e(es at her ner&iness@ <a&eline &ips into the kitchen# ret*rning %ith three clean glasses stacke& in the crook o" her arm an& a carton o" orange A*ice t*cke& *n&er her chin# someho% managing to make the a%k%ar& A*ggling act look grace"*l@ E5e=ll save the champagne "or a"ter the backBtoBschool prank@ -ike a gran& "inale@ This is A*st a %armB*p@F She %inks# heav( lashes "l*ttering against her alabaster cheek@ She po*rs three genero*s cocktails# vo&ka sloshing over the si&es o" the glasses# %hich she hastil( %ipes %ith the hem o" her gra( Calvin ;lein ribbe& tank top@ She passes t%o o" the &rinks to Charlotte an& me@ 5e each take one an& raise o*r arms# clinking glasses@ I %ill the corners o" m( mo*th into the most convincing smile I can manage@ <( "ace "eels sti""# like a carnival mask@ ECheers#F I m*mble@ ETo the -(ing :ameIF <a&eline toasts# brimming %ith enth*siasm@ She "i9es her sparkling bl*e e(es on me@ ESerio*sl(# S*tton# (o*r %ork %as inspire&@ Thank (o* so m*ch "or p*tting Tha(er in his place "or me@F She so*n&s intensel( sincere@ 4lmost alarmingl( so@ E$on=t mention it#F I sa(# %aving a han& at her &ismissivel(@ <( stomach "lips over A*st thinking abo*t the look on Tha(er=s "ace be"ore he &arte& o""@ EHonestl(# (o*=re the master@ The C*een o" the -(ing :ame#F Charlotte praises@ She so*n&s more than a little bit a%estr*ck# an& that l*mp rises in the back o" m( throat again@ I choke &o%n a s%allo% o" m( &rink# the aci&ic tang o" the vo&ka b*rning on the %a( &o%n@ EFlatter( %ill get (o* ever(%here# la&ies#F I sa(# as bree?il( as I can@ E2*t pleaseDthe C*een is tire& "rom a har& night=s %ork@ Can %e A*st %atch the movie an& not talk+F EYesI O" co*rse#F <a&eline agrees@ She scrambles "or the Titanic 2l*Bra( she p*lle& "rom her overstocke& me&ia shel" an& sli&es it into the $>$ pla(er@ The machine blinks an& %hirs as it po%ers on an& clicks into gear@ E8*st as long as (o* &on=t e9pect *s to "ee& (o* grapes an& "an (o*#F Charlotte gr*mbles# smiling goo&Bnat*re&l(@ She takes another health( g*lp o" her &rink# sighing contente&l(@ EYo* kno% (o* %o*l& i" I aske& (o* to#F I C*ip@ I=m acting like m( ol& sel"# b*t m( heart=s not in it@ In "act# I think I le"t it some%here back on Nisha=s "ront la%n# or b*rie& &eep in the crags o" Sabino Can(on@ Even as the movie c*es *p an& -eo=s bo(ish "ace "ills the enormo*s screen# I can=t stop thinking abo*t Tha(er@ The look in his e(es as his e9pression cr*mble&@ The &isg*st on his "ace as he reali?e& he=& been a -(ing :ame target@ 4n& G that kiss@ <ore than an(thing# that kiss@

It %as incre&ibleH toeBc*rling# earthBshattering# mon*mental@ It %as like no other kiss I=& e9perience& in m( li"e@ 4n& I=m not e9actl( a novice %hen it comes to kissing bo(s@ 5h( co*l&n=t I &ate a (o*nger g*(+ 5hat %o*l& reall( be so ba& abo*t that+ I %eigh the i&ea in m( min&# consi&ering all o" the angles@ Oka(# so ma(be m( "rien&s %o*l& make "*n o" me@ <a(be &e"initel(# "ine@ 2*t probabl( not "or long# right+ The(=& tease me in the beginning# o" co*rse# b*t once the( got *se& to the i&ea# ma(be the(=& even think it %as cool@ 5ho kno%sDma(be I=& start a tren& someho%# setting o"" a rash o" co*gars on the pro%l in the halls o" Hollier@ The thing is# being %ith Tha(er might make me reall( G happ(@ 4n& I think I might &eserve that@ I think m( "rien&s %o*l& agree@ 4n& a"ter that kiss# ma(be I &on=t reall( care %hat the( think@ <a(be I A*st %ant Tha(er@ The opening cre&its o" the movie roll an& the imposing orchestral so*n& track s%ells# "illing the room@ S*&&enl( I can=t sit still "or a secon& longer@ It=s like ants are cra%ling over ever( e9pose& s*r"ace o" m( skin@ I leap *p "rom the so"a# ignoring the startle& looks Charlotte an& <a&eline shoot m( %a(@ EI# *h# nee& to *se the bathroom#F I m*mble# %an&ering &o%n the hall@ E$o (o* %ant *s to pa*se it+F <a&eline calls a"ter me# so*n&ing con"*se&@ ENo# it=s "ine#F I call back@ EI kno% the %hole thing b( heart@F I tiptoe not s*re the &oor A*mps@ I past the bathroom an& make m( %a( stealthil( &o%n the hall@ I=m e9actl( %hat I=m &oing# b*t almost *nconscio*sl(# I "in& m(sel" at to Tha(er=s be&room@ 4 light glo%s "rom beneath it# an& m( heart have no i&ea %hat I=ll sa( to him G b*t I have to sa( something@

I knock lightl(# shi"ting m( %eight nervo*sl( "rom one "oot to the other@ 2*t there=s no ans%er@ I knock again# C*ickl(# an& %hen it=s still silent insi&e# I ca*tio*sl( p*sh the &oor open@ I=m greete& %ith a g*st o" "resh air "rom an open %in&o%# b*t no Tha(er@ 4 %ornBin nav( hoo&ie lies r*mple& across his *nma&e be&# an& I=m tempte& to r*n to it an& r*b it bet%een m( "ingers# to breathe it in an& slip it on over m( tank top@ It %o*l& be almost like having his arms aro*n& me again@ S*rve(ing the room# I reali?e that Tha(er=s comp*ter is still on# casting an eerie glo% across his &esk@ 4n open I< %in&o% blinks beckoningl( on the screen@ Hea&ing over# it sa(s@ The message is "or m( sister@ <( bloo& r*ns col&@ He=s gone to see -a*rel+ He=s going to tell her %hat happene& tonight# an& she=ll console him G an& then %hat+ It=s obvio*s she=s totall( in love %ith him@ 4n& the(=re so close@ 8*st beca*se the( haven=t been romantic (et &oesn=t mean the( never %ill@ I back o*t o" his be&room an& retrace m( steps to%ar& the kitchen# taking care not to make an( noise@ Forget the sleepover@ Forget m( "rien&s@ I have

to "in& Tha(er@ I have to talk to him# to apologi?e# to e9plain# to make him *n&erstan&@@@@ 4s C*ietl( as I can manage# I *nlock the latch on the back &oor an& slip o*t into the night@ The chirping o" crickets an& the r*sh o" the %in& in the leaves sp*r me on@ 2e"ore I can take another step# I hear a voice@ ES*tton@F <( name so*n&s lo% an& throat(# slightl( choke&@ 4n& I=& recogni?e the voice blin&"ol&e&@ I co*l&n=t "orget it i" I %ante& to@ I=ve been thinking abo*t it all night@ It=s Tha(er@

1)

8!ST 2ET5EEN !S 4t the sight o" Tha(er stan&ing there# bathe& in moonlight# m( legs go %eak an& %obbl(@ The air is "ragrant an& thick %ith the scent o" acacia blooms# an& a light bree?e r*stles the cool night air@ Some%here in the &istance# a &og ho%ls mo*rn"*ll(@ ETha(erIF I cr(@ 2e"ore I can stop m(sel"# I r*sh to%ar& him# arms o*tstretche& "or an embrace@ 2*t as I reach "or him# he steps back# his e(es col& an& "lat@ His "ace is &evoi& o" emotion# %hich is almost %orse than i" he looke& at me %ith hatre& or &isg*st@ EI=m sorr(#F I insist@ EThe prank %asn=t m( think@F It=s col& o*t here in the %in&# an& bare arms@ I r*b m( han&s over m( "orearms# can=t reach that col& pit in the base o" m( e(es %ell %ith emotion@ i&ea@ 4n& it isn=t %hat (o* goose b*mps break o*t across m( tr(ing to %arm m(sel"@ 2*t I stomach@ I blink# "eeling m(

Tha(er=s e(es "licker across m( bo&(# making me shiver even har&er@ His Aa% is set an& his post*re is rigi&@ EI sho*l&n=t be s*rprise&# I g*ess#F he snaps# raising his hea& an& ga?ing over m( sho*l&er into the &istance@ EYo* g*(s are the -(ing :ame@ I %as A*st the i&iot %ho acte& like a s*cker@F He la*ghs once# a short# bitter ch*ckle@ EI can=t believe ho% g*llible I %as@F ETha(er# no#F I plea&@ EYo* &on=t *n&erstan&@ I &i&n=t %ant to prank (o*# I s%ear@ I %as l(ing to m( "rien&s#F I a&mit# %in&ing a stran& o" hair aro*n& m( in&e9 "inger@ EThat kiss G that %as real "or me@ Honest@F E4n& I=m s*ppose& to believe (o* no%+F I bite m( lip@ EI &on=t blame (o* i" (o* &on=t@ 2*t G hear me o*t# oka(+ I=m the most pop*lar girl at Hollier@ I have best "rien&s %ho think I=m a%esome@ 4n& compare& to ho% I=m treate& at home# it=s kin& o" an ama?ing "eeling@F

He sni""s@ EHo% are (o* treate& at home+F ESort o" G secon& best# I g*ess@ -ike I &on=t belong there@F Tha(er lo%ers his chin@ EI=ve never seen an( evi&ence o" that@F E5ell# real or not# it=s ho% I "eel#F I sa(@ E<a(be it=s A*st m( paranoia abo*t being a&opte& getting the best o" me@ 2*t Tha(er# it=s %h( I=m so a"rai& o" losing m( "rien&s@ That=s all I %as %orrie& abo*t# that=s %h( I &i&n=t stop the prank an& %h( I &i&n=t tell the tr*th %hen the( ca*ght *s@ I &i&n=t %ant them la*ghing at me@ 2*t then I reali?e& ho% st*pi& that %as@ -ike# *nbelievabl( st*pi&@ I sho*l& get to &eci&e %ho I like@F I s%allo% har&# then raise m( e(es to his@ E4n& I like (o*@F There@ I sai& it@ There=s no going back no%@ 2*t I=m still too terri"ie& to reall( look at Tha(er@ EYo* &on=t have to "orgive me or like me back@ I *n&erstan& i" (o* %ant someone %ho=s al%a(s been goo& to (o*# like -a*rel@ 2*t I tho*ght I=& let (o* kno% ho% I reall( "elt@ Yo* aske& me i" I=ve ever been honest a &a( in m( li"e# an& %ith (o*# I &o "eel honest@ 4n& I=m telling (o* something honest no%@F Then I t*rn a%a(# embarrasse& b( m( little speech@ I=ve ma&e it almost the %hole %a( aro*n& be"ore I "eel Tha(er=s han& on m( sho*l&er@ He spins me back to%ar& him@ There=s a serio*s look on his "ace# an& "or a moment# I can=t tell i" he=s angr( or not@ He takes m( han&s an& sC*ee?es them har&@ EI like (o*# too# S*tton#F he sa(s@ <( heart skips a happ( beat# b*t C*ickl( l*rches to a stop %hen I see his paine& e9pression@ Something is ver(# ver( %rong@ He *ntangles his "ingers "rom m( o%n@ EI=m A*st not s*re it=s s*ch a goo& i&ea "or *s to &ate p*blicl(@F E5h( not+F I bl*rt@ Tha(er sighs# r*nning his "ingers thro*gh his hair so that it stan&s *p like an e9clamation point on top o" his hea&@ EIt=s complicate&#F he sa(s "inall(@ I "eel like I=ve A*st been slippe& some sort o" min&Baltering &r*g@ E5ell# o" co*rse it=s complicate&#F I sa(@ EIt=s complicate& "or me# too@ 2*t %h( "or (o*# e9actl(+ 2eca*se (o*=re <a&s=s brother+ 2eca*se o" -a*rel+F Tha(er meets m( e(es# *nblinking@ EThat=s part o" it# I g*ess@ There are a lot o" "actors involve&@F He looks a%a(@ EI=ve never met an(one like (o*# S*tton@ 2*t (o* also kin& o" scare me@F E5hat &o (o* mean+F <( voice C*avers@ He pa*ses to think@ EIt=s like (o*=re t%o &i""erent S*ttons#F he sa(s# his speech slo%# &eliberate@ O"" in the &istance# a car alarm shrieks@ EThe S*tton I sa% the other night# in (o*r kitchen# %as incre&ible: "*nn(# an& %arm# an& honest@F He emphasi?es the %or&# making me cringe@ EI "eel like that S*tton A*st G gets me@ 2elieve it or not# I &on=t go aro*n& telling people abo*t m( sleep%alking@F EI &on=t ever tell an(bo&( abo*t m( &reams#F I respon&# m( voice so"t@ E7ight#F he agrees@ EThat S*tton an& I have a connection@ 4n& it=s ama?ing@F

I cast m( e(es &o%n%ar&# taking in the *neven stones that line the >egas= (ar&@ E2*t GF E2*t the other S*tton# the p*blic (o*Dshe=s not so nice@ 4n& I=m not s*re I %ant to be part o" that %orl&@F I stare at him@ E2*t (o* love all the attention (o*=re getting no%@ I kno% itIF He stops me %ith a raise& palm@ EI like having "rien&s# s*re@ 2*t I &on=t %ant to be part o" the backstabbing# "astBmoving# gameBpla(ing cro%& o" (o*rs@ It=s not m( st(le@F I s%allo% har&@ EI=m sorr( abo*t the prank %e p*lle& on (o*@ 2*t I can be nicerDI %ill be nicer@ I can even en& the -(ing :ame i" (o* %ant@ Things can change@F He places a "irm palm on each o" m( sho*l&ers# leaning so close to me that his e(elashes almost skim m( "orehea&@ EYo* A*st tol& me ho% ba&l( (o* nee& (o*r %orl&@ I=m not going to ask (o* to change that@F He reaches o*t an& br*shes m( cheek lightl(@ EI %ant to be %ith (o*# too@ 2*t I=& rather keep it kin& o" C*iet "or the time being@F He looks at me imploringl(@ ECan (o* &o that+F I blink# totall( thro%n@ Never has someone tol& me that the( &on=t %ant to be %ith me beca*se o" %ho I amD*s*all( that=s %hat p*lls a g*( to%ar& me@ 2*t Tha(er also has a point@ $eep &o%n# I=ve kno%n "or a long time that %hat the -(ing :ame &oes isn=t e9actl( nice@ 5e=ve gotten ca*ght *p in it# tho*gh# "*ele& b( it# an& it %o*l& be har& to stop no%@ I pict*re tr(ing to tell <a&eline an& Char that the cl*b is en&ing@ 5ill there be eno*gh to hol& *s together+ 5ill the( move on to someone else an& leave me hanging+ 5hat i" the( blame this change on Tha(erH %hat i" it ca*ses a ri"t bet%een him an& <a&eline+ Sho*l& I care that he %ants this to be a secret+ Or sho*l& I A*st thro% ca*tion to the %in&+ 5hat i" I never "in& something like this again+ I tilt m( hea& *p# %in&ing m( han&s aro*n& his lo%er back an& p*lling him to%ar& me@ E-et=s tr( it#F I %hisper# smiling@ 2eca*se %hatever is happening bet%een *s# %hatever this is# I %ant more o" it@ -ots more@ 4 ca*tio*s smile sprea&s across Tha(er=s "ace# an& his lips "in& mine@ He kisses me so"tl(# then leans so his lips br*sh against m( ear@ EOka(@F He r*ns his "ingers &o%n m( spine an& I melt# kissing him again %ith more *rgenc(# more emotion@ There=s nothing more to talk abo*t no%@ Having a secret bo("rien& co*l& act*all( be kin& o" hot@ O" co*rse# it=ll A*st be another secret to keep# another lie to tell@ I have a "eeling it %ill be the "irst o" man(@ 2*t i" it means being %ith Tha(er# the(=ll all be %orth it@

4C;NO5-E$:<ENTS

Thank (o*# rea&ers# "or making s*ch a "*n novella possibleI I ha& a great time %riting abo*t the beginning o" S*tton an& Tha(er=s relationship# an& I hope (o* enAo(e& rea&ing it# too@ H*ge thanks to <icol Osto%D(o* rockDan& to -anie $avis# Sara Shan&ler# 8osh 2ank# -es <orgenstein# ;ristin <arang# ;atie <c:ee# an& the rest o" the "antastic 4llo( team@ 4 big (a( to ;ari S*therlan& an& Farrin 8acobs as %ell@ 4n& here=s a h*g to >olvo# m( tr*st( &og %ho spent ever( min*te I %orke& on this book on m( be& right ne9t to me@ 4n e9tra bone "or (o*# big g*(@

EOCE7PT F7O< THE -YIN: :4<E

7ea& on "or more secrets# lies# an& killer conseC*ences in

THE -YIN: :4<E

P7O-O:!E I %oke *p in a &ing( cla%B"oot batht*b in an *n"amiliar pinkBtile& bathroom@ 4 stack o" <a9ims sat ne9t to the toilet# green toothpaste globbe& in the sink# an& %hite &rips streake& the mirror@ The %in&o% sho%e& a &ark sk( an& a "*ll moon@ 5hat &a( o" the %eek %as it+ 5here %as I+ 4 "rat ho*se at the ! o" 4+ Someone=s apartment+ I co*l& barel( remember that m( name %as S*tton <ercer# or that I live& in the "oothills o" T*cson# 4ri?ona@ I ha& no i&ea %here m( p*rse %as# an& I &i&n=t have a cl*e %here I=& parke& m( car@ 4ct*all(# %hat kin& o" car &i& I &rive+ Ha& someone slippe& me something+ EEmma+F a g*(=s voice calle& "rom another room@ EYo* home+F EI=m b*s(IF calle& a voice close b(@ 4 tall# thin girl opene& the bathroom &oor# her tangle& &ark hair hanging in her "ace@ EHe(IF I leapt to m( "eet@ ESomeone=s in here alrea&(IF <( bo&( "elt tingl(# as i" it ha& "allen asleep@ 5hen I looke& &o%n# it seeme& like I %as "lickering on an& o""# like I %as *n&er a strobe light@ Freak(@ Someone &e"initel( slippe& me something@ The girl &i&n=t seem to hear me@ She st*mble& "or%ar&# her "ace covere& in sha&o%s@ EHello+F I crie&# climbing o*t o" the t*b@ She &i&n=t look over@ E4re (o* &ea"+F Nothing@ She p*mpe& a bottle o" laven&erBscente& lotion an& r*bbe& it on her arms@

The &oor "l*ng open again# an& a sn*bBnose&# *nshaven teenage g*( b*rst in@ EOh@F His ga?e "le% to the girl=s tightB"itting TBshirt# %hich sai& NE5 YO7; NE5 YO7; 7O--E7 CO4STE7 on the "ront@ EI &i&n=t kno% (o* %ere in here# Emma@F EThat=s ma(be %h( the &oor %as close&+F Emma p*she& him o*t an& slamme& it sh*t@ She t*rne& back to the mirror@ I stoo& right behin& her@ EHe(IF I crie& again@ Finall(# she looke& *p@ <( e(es &arte& to the mirror to meet her ga?e@ 2*t %hen I looke& into the glass# I screame&@ 2eca*se Emma looke& e9actl( like me@ 4n& I %asn=t there@ Emma t*rne& an& %alke& o*t o" the bathroom# an& I "ollo%e& as i" something %as (anking me along behin& her@ 5ho %as this girl+ 5h( &i& %e look the same+ 5h( %as I invisible+ 4n& %h( co*l&n=t I remember# %ell# an(thing+ The %rong memories snappe& into aching# nostalgic "oc*sDthe glittering s*nset over the Catalinas# the smell o" the lemon trees in m( back(ar& in the morning# the "eel o" cashmere slippers on m( toes@ 2*t other things# the most important things# ha& become m*""le& an& "*??(# as i" I=& live& m( %hole li"e *n&er%ater@ I sa% vag*e shapes# b*t I co*l&n=t make o*t %hat the( %ere@ I co*l&n=t remember %hat I=& &one "or an( s*mmer vacations# %ho m( "irst kiss ha& been %ith# or %hat it "elt like to "eel the s*n on m( "ace or &ance to m( "avorite song@ 5hat %as m( "avorite song+ 4n& even %orse# ever( secon& that passe&# things got "*??ier an& "*??ier@ -ike the( %ere &isappearing@ -ike I %as &isappearing@ 2*t then I concentrate& reall( har& an& I hear& a m*""le& scream@ 4n& s*&&enl( it %as like I %as some%here else@ I "elt pain shooting thro*gh m( bo&(# be"ore a "inal# sleep( sensation o" m( m*scles s*rren&ering@ 4s m( e(es slo%l( close&# I sa% a bl*rr(# sha&o%( "ig*re stan&ing over me@ EOh m( :o&#F I %hispere&@ No %on&er Emma &i&n=t see me@ No %on&er I %asn=t in the mirror@ I %asn=t reall( here@ I %as &ea&@

THE $E4$ 7IN:E7 Emma Pa9ton carrie& her canvas tote an& a glass o" ice& tea o*t the back &oor o" her ne% "oster "amil(=s home on the o*tskirts o" -as >egas@ Cars s%ishe& an& gr*mble& on the nearb( e9press%a(# an& the air smelle& heavil( o" e9ha*st an& the local %ater treatment plant@ The onl( &ecorations in the

back(ar& %ere &*st( "ree %eights# a r*ste& b*g ?apper# an& kitsch( terraB cotta stat*es@ It %as a "ar cr( "rom m( back(ar& in T*cson# %hich %as &esertBlan&scape& to per"ection an& ha& a %oo&en s%ing set I *se& to preten& %as a castle@ -ike I sai&# it %as %eir& an& ran&om %hich &etails I still remembere& an& %hich ones ha& evaporate& a%a(@ For the last ho*r# I=& been "ollo%ing Emma tr(ing to make sense o" her li"e an& %illing m(sel" to remember m( o%n@ Not like I ha& a choice@ Ever(%here she %ent# I %ent@ I %asn=t entirel( s*re ho% I kne% these things abo*t Emma# eitherDthe( A*st appeare& in m( hea& as I %atche& her# like a te9t message popping *p in an inbo9@ I kne% the &etails o" her li"e better than I &i& m( o%n@ Emma &roppe& the tote on the "a*9 %ro*ghtBiron patio table# ploppe& &o%n in a plastic la%n chair# an& crane& her neck *p%ar&@ The onl( nice thing abo*t this patio %as that it "ace& a%a( "rom the casinos# o""ering a large s%ath o" clear# *ninterr*pte& sk(@ The moon &angle& hal"%a( *p the hori?on# a bloate& alabaster %a"er@ Emma=s ga?e &ri"te& to t%o bright# "amiliar stars to the east@ 4t nine (ears ol&# Emma ha& %ist"*ll( name& the star on the right the <om Star# the star on the le"t the $a& Star# an& the smaller# brightl( t%inkling spot A*st belo% them the Emma Star@ She=& ma&e *p all kin&s o" "air( tales abo*t these stars# preten&ing that the( %ere her real "amil( an& that one &a( the(=& all be re*nite& on earth like the( %ere in the sk(@ Emma ha& been in "oster care "or most o" her li"e@ She=& never met her &a&# b*t she remembere& her mother# %ith %hom she ha& live& *ntil she %as "ive (ears ol&@ Her mom=s name %as 2eck(@ She %as a slen&er %oman %ho love& sho*ting o*t the ans%ers to 5heel o" Fort*ne# &ancing aro*n& the living room to <ichael 8ackson songs# an& rea&ing tabloi&s that ran stories like 242Y 2O7N F7O< P!<P;INI an& 24T 2OY -I>ESI 2eck( *se& to sen& Emma on scavenger h*nts aro*n& their apartment comple9# the pri?e al%a(s being a t*be o" *se& lipstick or a mini Snickers@ She bo*ght Emma "rill( t*t*s an& lac( &resses "rom :oo&%ill "or &ressB*p@ She rea& Emma Harr( Potter be"ore be&# making *p &i""erent voices "or ever( character@ 2*t 2eck( %as like a scratchBo"" lotter( ticketDEmma never C*ite kne% %hat she %as going to get %ith her@ Sometimes 2eck( spent the %hole &a( cr(ing on the co*ch# her "ace contorte& an& her cheeks streake& %ith tears@ Other times she %o*l& &rag Emma to the nearest &epartment store an& b*( her t%o o" ever(thing@ E5h( &o I nee& t%o pairs o" the same shoes+F Emma %o*l& ask@ 4 "ara%a( look %o*l& come over 2eck(=s "ace@ EIn case the "irst pair gets &irt(# Emm(@F 2eck( co*l& be ver( "orget"*l# tooDlike the time she le"t Emma at a Circle ;@ S*&&enl( *nable to breathe# Emma ha& %atche& her mother=s car vanish &o%n the shimmering high%a(@ The clerk on &*t( gave Emma an orange Popsicle an& let her sit on the ice "ree?er at the "ront o" the store %hile he ma&e some phone calls@ 5hen 2eck( "inall( ret*rne&# she scoope& *p Emma an& gave her a h*ge h*g@ For once# she &i&n=t even complain %hen Emma &rippe& stick( orange Popsicle goo on her &ress@ One s*mmer night not long a"ter that# Emma slept over %ith Sasha <organ# a "rien& "rom kin&ergarten@ She %oke *p in the morning to <rs@ <organ stan&ing in the &oor%a(# a sick look on her "ace@ 4pparentl(# 2eck( ha& le"t a note *n&er the <organs= "ront &oor# sa(ing she=& Egone on a little trip@F Some trip that %asDit ha& laste& almost thirteen (ears an& co*nting@ 5hen no one co*l& track &o%n 2eck(# Sasha=s parents t*rne& Emma over to an orphanage in 7eno@ Prospective a&opters ha& no interest in a "iveB(earBol&D the( all %ante& babies the( co*l& mol& into mini versions o" themselvesDso

Emma live& in gro*p homes# then "oster homes@ Tho*gh Emma %o*l& al%a(s love her mom# she co*l&n=t sa( she misse& herDat least not <iserable 2eck(# <anic 2eck(# or the -*natic 2eck( %ho=& "orgotten her at the Circle ;@ She &i& miss the i&ea o" a mom tho*gh: someone stable an& constant %ho kne% her past# looke& "or%ar& to her "*t*re# an& love& her *ncon&itionall(@ Emma ha& invente& the <om# $a&# an& Emma stars in the sk( not base& on an(thing she=& ever kno%n# b*t instea& on %hat she %ishe& she=& ha&@ The sli&ing glass &oor opene&# an& Emma %heele& aro*n&@ Travis# her ne% "oster mom=s eighteenB(earBol& son# str*tte& o*t an& settle& on top o" the patio table@ ESorr( abo*t b*rsting in on (o* in the bathroom#F he sai&@ EIt=s oka(#F Emma m*ttere& bitterl(# slo%l( inching a%a( "rom Travis=s o*tstretche& legs@ She %as prett( s*re Travis %asn=t sorr(@ He practicall( ma&e a sport o" tr(ing to see her nake&@ To&a(# Travis %ore a bl*e ball cap p*lle& lo% over his e(es# a ratt(# oversi?e& plai& shirt# an& bagg( Aean shorts %ith the crotch sagging almost to his knees@ There %as patch( st*bble on his point(Bnose&# thinBlippe&# peaBe(e& "aceH he %asn=t man eno*gh to act*all( gro% "acial hair@ His bloo&shot bro%n e(es narro%e& lascivio*sl(@ Emma co*l& "eel his ga?e on her# canvassing her tightB"itting NE5 YO7; NE5 YO7; camisole# bare# tanne& arms# an& long legs@ 5ith a gr*nt# Travis reache& into his shirt pocket# p*lle& o*t a Aoint# an& lit *p@ 4s he ble% a pl*me o" smoke in her &irection# the b*g ?apper glo%e& to li"e@ 5ith a crisp snap an& a "i??le o" bl*e light# it annihilate& (et another mosC*ito@ I" onl( it co*l& &o that to Travis# too@ 2ack o""# pot breath# Emma %ante& to sa(@ It=s no %on&er no girl %ill get near (o*@ 2*t she bit her tong*eH the comment %o*l& have to go into her Comebacks I Sho*l&=ve Sai& "ile# a list she=& compile& in a black cloth notebook hi&&en in her top &ra%er@ The Comebacks list# CISS "or short# %as "ille& %ith pith(# snark( remarks Emma ha& longe& to sa( to "oster moms# creep( neighbors# bitch( girls at school# an& a %hole host o" others@ For the most part# Emma hel& her tong*eDit %as easier to keep C*iet# not make tro*ble# an& become %hatever t(pe o" girl a sit*ation nee&e& her to be@ 4long the %a(# Emma ha& picke& *p some prett( impressive coping skills: 4t age ten# she hone& her re"le9es %hen <r@ Sm(the# a tempest*o*s "oster parent# got into one o" his obAectBthro%ing moo&s@ 5hen Emma live& in Hen&erson %ith !rs*la an& Steve# the t%o hippies %ho gre% their o%n "oo& b*t %ere cl*eless abo*t ho% to cook it# Emma ha& begr*&gingl( taken over kitchen &*ties# %hipping *p ?*cchini brea&# veggie gratins# an& some a%esome stirB"ries@ It ha& been A*st t%o months since Emma ha& move& in %ith Clarice# a single mom %ho %orke& as a barten&er "or >IP gamblers at The < 7esort@ Since then# Emma ha& spent the s*mmer taking pict*res# pla(ing marathon games o" <ines%eeper on the bange&B*p 2lack2err( her "rien& 4le9 ha& given her be"ore she=& le"t her last "oster home in Hen&erson# an& %orking partBtime operating the roller coaster at the Ne% York Ne% York casino@ 4n&# oh (eah# avoi&ing Travis as m*ch as she co*l&@ It ha&n=t starte& o*t that %a(# tho*gh@ 4t "irst# Emma ha& trie& to make nice %ith her ne% "oster brother# hoping the( co*l& be "rien&s@ It %asn=t like ever( "oster "amil( s*cke& an& she=& never ma&e "rien&s %ith the other ki&sH it A*st sometimes took a lot o" e""ort on her part@ She=& "eigne& interest in all o" the Yo*T*be vi&eos Travis %atche& abo*t ho% to be a smallBtime th*g: ho% to *nlock a car %ith a cell phone# ho% to hack so&a machines# ho% to open a pa&lock %ith a beer can@ She=& s*""ere& thro*gh a co*ple o" !ltimate Fighting Championship matches on T># even attempting to learn the %restlingBmove vocab*lar(@ 2*t the nicet( ha& en&e& "or Emma a %eek later# %hen Travis trie& to "eel her *p %hile she %as stan&ing in

"ront o" the open "ri&ge@ EYo*=ve been so "rien&l(#F he=& m*rm*re& in her ear# be"ore Emma ha& Eacci&entall(F kicke& him in the crotch@ 4ll Emma %ante& to &o %as get thro*gh her senior (ear here@ It %as the en& o" 4*g*st# an& school starte& on 5e&nes&a(@ She ha& the option o" leaving Clarice=s %hen she t*rne& eighteen in t%o %eeks# b*t that %o*l& mean C*itting school# "in&ing an apartment# an& getting a "*llBtime Aob to pa( rent@ Clarice ha& tol& Emma=s social %orker that Emma co*l& sta( here *ntil she got her &iploma@ Nine more months# Emma chante& to hersel" like a mantra@ She co*l& hol& on *ntil then# co*l&n=t she+ Travis took another hit o"" the Aoint@ EYo* %ant some+F he aske& in a choke& voice# hol&ing the smoke in his l*ngs@ ENo thanks#F Emma sai& sti""l(@ Travis "inall( e9hale&@ ES%eet little Emma#F he sai& in a s(r*p( voice@ E2*t (o* aren=t al%a(s this goo&# are (o*+F Emma crane& her neck *p at the sk( an& pa*se& on the <om# $a&# an& Emma stars again@ Farther &o%n the hori?on %as a star she=& recentl( name& the 2o("rien& Star@ It seeme& to be hovering closer than *s*al to the Emma Star tonightDma(be it %as a sign@ Perhaps this %o*l& be the (ear she=& meet her per"ect bo("rien&# someone she %as &estine& to be %ith@ EShit#F Travis %hispere& s*&&enl(# noticing something insi&e the ho*se@ He C*ickl( st*bbe& o*t the Aoint an& thre% it *n&er Emma=s chair A*st as Clarice appeare& on the back &eck@ Emma sco%le& at the Aoint=s smol&ering tipDnice o" Travis to tr( to pin it on herDan& covere& it %ith her shoe@ Clarice still ha& on her %ork *ni"orm: a t*9e&o Aacket# silk( %hite shirt# an& black bo% tie@ Her &(e& blon& hair %as slicke& into an impeccable French t%ist# an& her mo*th %as smeare& %ith bright "*chsia lipstick that &i&n=t "latter an(one=s skin tone@ She hel& a %hite envelope in her han&s@ EI=m missing t%o h*n&re& an& "i"t( &ollars#F Clarice anno*nce& "latl(@ The empt( envelope crinkle&@ EIt %as a personal tip "rom 2r*ce 5illis@ He signe& one o" the bills@ I %as going to p*t it in m( scrapbook@F Emma sighe& s(mpatheticall(@ The onl( thing she=& gleane& abo*t Clarice %as that she %as absol*tel( obsesse& %ith celebrities@ She kept a scrapbook &escribing ever( celeb interaction she=& ever ha&# an& gloss( signe& hea& shots line& the %all space in the break"ast nook@ Occasionall(# Clarice an& Emma ran into each other in the kitchen aro*n& noon# %hich %as the crack o" &a%n "or Clarice a"ter a bar shi"t@ The onl( thing Clarice ever %ante& to talk abo*t %as ho% she=& ha& a long conversation %ith the latest %inner o" 4merican I&ol the night be"ore# or ho% a certain action "ilm starlet=s boobs %ere &e"initel( "ake# or ho% the host o" a &ating realit( sho% %as kin& o" a bitch@ Emma %as al%a(s intrig*e&@ She &i&n=t care m*ch abo*t celebrit( &irt b*t &reame& o" some&a( being an investigative Ao*rnalist@ Not that she ever tol& Clarice that@ Not that Clarice ha& ever aske& an(thing personal abo*t her@ EThe mone( %as in this envelope in m( be&room %hen I le"t "or %ork this a"ternoon@F Clarice stare& straight at Emma# her e(es sC*inting@ ENo% it=s not@ Is there something (o* %ant to tell me+F Emma sneake& a peek at Travis# b*t he %as "i&&ling %ith his 2lack2err(@ 4s he scrolle& thro*gh his photos# Emma notice& a bl*rr( shot o" her at the bathroom mirror@ Her hair %as %et# an& she=& knotte& a to%el *n&er her arms@

Cheeks b*rning# Emma t*rne& to Clarice@ EI &on=t kno% an(thing abo*t it#F she sai& in the most &iplomatic voice she co*l& m*ster@ E2*t ma(be (o* sho*l& ask Travis@ He might kno%@F EE9c*se me+F Travis=s voice cracke&@ EI &i&n=t take an( mone(@F Emma ma&e an incre&*lo*s noise at the back o" her throat@ EYo* kno% I %o*l&n=t &o that# <om#F Travis %ent on@ He stoo& an& p*lle& *p his shorts aro*n& his %aist@ EI kno% ho% har& (o* %ork@ I &i& see Emma go into (o*r room to&a( tho*gh@F E5hat+F Emma %hirle& aro*n& to "ace him@ EI &i& notIF E$i& too#F Travis shot back@ 4s soon as he t*rne& his back on his mom# his e9pression morphe& "rom a "ake smile to a %rinkle&Bnose# narro%e&Be(es glo%er@ Emma gape&@ It %as ama?ing ho% calml( he lie&@ EI=ve seen (o* go thro*gh (o*r mom=s p*rse#F she anno*nce&@ Clarice leane& against the table# t%isting her mo*th to the right@ ETravis &i& that+F ENo# I &i&n=t@F Travis pointe& acc*singl( at Emma@ E5h( %o*l& (o* believe her+ Yo* &on=t even kno% this girl@F EI &on=t nee& mone(IF Emma presse& her han&s to her chest@ EI have a AobI I=m "ineIF She=& been %orking "or (ears@ 2e"ore the roller coaster# she=& ha& a Aob as Hea& :oat :irl at a local petting ?oo# she=& &resse& *p as a togaBrobe& Stat*e o" -ibert( an& stoo& on the street corner to a&vertise a local cre&it *nion# an& she=& even sol& knives &oorBtoB&oor@ She=& save& more than t%o gran& an& stashe& it in a hal"Bempt( Tampa9 bo9 in her be&room@ Travis ha&n=t "o*n& the mone( (et# probabl( beca*se the tampons %ere a better sec*rit( s(stem against creep( bo(s than a rabi& pack o" 7ott%eilers@ Clarice ga?e& at Travis# %ho %as giving her a sickening# po*t( smile@ 4s she crease& the empt( envelope back an& "orth in her han&s# a s*spicio*s look crosse& her "ace@ It looke& as i" she momentaril( sa% thro*gh Travis=s "aca&e@ E-ook@F Travis %alke& over to his mom an& p*t his arm on her sho*l&er@ EI think (o* nee& to kno% %hat Emma=s reall( all abo*t@F He p*lle& his 2lack2err( "rom his pocket again an& began to "i&&le %ith the click %heel@ E5hat &o (o* mean+F Emma %alke& over to them@ Travis gave her a sanctimonio*s look# hi&ing the 2lack2err( screen "rom vie%@ EI %as going to talk to (o* abo*t this in private@ 2*t it=s too late "or that no%@F ETalk to me abo*t %hat+F Emma l*nge& "or%ar&# making the citronella can&le in the center o" the table %obble@ EYo* kno% %hat@F Travis tappe& a%a( on the ke(boar& %ith his th*mbs@ 4 mosC*ito b*??e& aro*n& his hea&# b*t he &i&n=t bother to "lick it a%a(@ EYo*=re a sick "reak@F E5hat &o (o* mean# Travis+F Clarice=s "*chsiaBline& lips p*rse& %orrie&l(@

Finall(# Travis lo%ere& the 2lack2err( so ever(one co*l& see@ EThis#F he anno*nce&@ 4 sti""# hot %in& ble% against Emma=s cheek# the &*st( air irritating her e(es@ The bl*eBblack evening sk( seeme& to &arken a "e% sha&es@ Travis breathe& heavil( ne9t to her# reeking o" pot smoke# an& p*lle& *p a generic vi&eo *ploa&ing site@ 5ith a "lo*rish# he t(pe& in the ke(%or& S*ttonIn4/ an& hit P-4Y@ 4 vi&eo slo%l( loa&e&@ 4 han&hel& camera panne& over a clearing@ No so*n& escape& "rom the speakers# as i" the microphone ha& been m*te&@ The camera %hippe& aro*n& to sho% a "ig*re sitting in a chair %ith a black blin&"ol& covering hal" her "ace@ 4 ro*n& silver locket on a thick chain cl*ng to a bon(# "eminine collarbone@ The girl thrashe& her hea& "ranticall( back an& "orth# the locket bo*ncing %il&l(@ The pict*re %ent &ark "or a moment# an& s*&&enl( someone slippe& behin& her an& p*lle& the necklace chain back so that it presse& *p against the girl=s throat@ The girl=s hea& arche& back@ She "laile& her arms an& kicke& her legs@ EOh m( :o&@F Clarice=s han& "le% to her mo*th@ E5hat is this+F Emma %hispere&@ The strangler p*lle& the chain har&er an& har&er@ 5hoever it %as ha& a mask over his hea&# so Emma co*l&n=t see his "ace@ 4"ter abo*t thirt( secon&s# the girl in the vi&eo stoppe& str*ggling an& %ent limp@ Emma backe& a%a( "rom the screen@ Ha& the( A*st %atche& someone &ie+ 5hat the hell+ 4n& %hat &i& this have to &o %ith her+ The camera remaine& "i9e& on the blin&"ol&e& girl@ She %asn=t moving@ Then the pict*re %ent momentaril( &ark again@ 5hen an image snappe& back on the screen# the camera %as tilte& over# "allen on the gro*n&@ Emma co*l& still see a si&e%a(s shot o" the "ig*re in the chair@ Someone %alke& *p to the girl an& p*lle& the blin&"ol& o"" her hea&@ 4"ter a long pa*se# the girl co*ghe&@ Tears &otte& her e(es@ The corners o" her mo*th p*lle& &o%n@ She blinke& slo%l(@ For a split secon& be"ore the screen %ent &ark# she stare& hal" conscio*sl( into the lens@ Emma=s Aa% &roppe& to her %orn Converse sneakers@ Clarice gaspe& lo*&l(@ EHa#F Travis sai& tri*mphantl(@ EI tol& (o*@F Emma stare& at the girl=s h*ge# bl*e e(es# slightl( *pt*rne& nose# an& ro*n& "ace@ She looke& e9actl( like her@ That %as beca*se the girl in the vi&eo %as me@

42O!T THE 4!THO7

S474 SHEP47$ is the a*thor o" t%o Ne% York Times bestselling series# Prett( -ittle -iars an& The -(ing :ame@ She gra&*ate& "rom Ne% York !niversit( an& has an <F4 "rom 2rookl(n College@ Sara=s Prett( -ittle -iars novels %ere inspire& b( her *pbringing in Phila&elphia=s <ain -ine@ >isit %%%@4*thorTracker@com "or e9cl*sive in"ormation on (o*r "avorite HarperCollins a*thors@

C7E$ITS H4N$ -ETTE7IN: 2Y PETE7 HO77I$:E $O-- $ESI:N 2Y TIN4 4<4NT!-4 $O-- PHOTO:74PHY 2Y HO547$ H!4N:

COPY7I:HT Cop(right P 61 b( 4llo( Entertainment an& Sara Shepar&

4ll rights reserve& *n&er International an& PanB4merican Cop(right Conventions@ 2( pa(ment o" the reC*ire& "ees# (o* have been grante& the none9cl*sive# nontrans"erable right to access an& rea& the te9t o" this eB book onBscreen@ No part o" this te9t ma( be repro&*ce&# transmitte&# &o%nloa&e&# &ecompile&# reverseBengineere&# or store& in or intro&*ce& into an( in"ormation storage an& retrieval s(stem# in an( "orm or b( an( means# %hether electronic or mechanical# no% kno%n or hereina"ter invente&# %itho*t the e9press %ritten permission o" HarperCollins eBbooks@ EP*b E&ition P NO>E<2E7 16 3 1 0 . , ) ' First E&ition 1 61 IS2N: 30166. )61)3

24C; 4$S

42O!T THE P!2-ISHE7 4*stralia HarperCollins P*blishers Q4*straliaR Pt(@ -t&@

-evel 1'# S(&ne(# NS5

61 Eli?abeth Street 666# 4*stralia

http:NN%%%@harpercollins@com@a* Cana&a HarperCollins Cana&a 2loor Street East B 6th Floor

Toronto# ON# <)5# 141# Cana&a http:NN%%%@harpercollins@ca Ne% /ealan& HarperCollins P*blishers QNe% /ealan&R -imite& P@O@ 2o9 1 4*cklan&# Ne% /ealan& http:NN%%%@harpercollins@co@n? !nite& ;ing&om HarperCollins P*blishers -t&@ 00B1, F*lham Palace 7oa& -on&on# 5. 182# !; http:NN%%%@harpercollins@co@*k !nite& States HarperCollins P*blishers Inc@ 16 East ,'r& Street Ne% York# NY 166 http:NN%%%@harpercollins@com