GLORIUOS HOME OR HAPPY MARRIAGE From: Bishop David Oyedepo Bible Sense for A Glorious Home The Commission:

"The hour has come to liberate the world from all oppressions of the devil, through the preaching of the Word of Faith; and I am sending you to undertake this task." Introduction A glorious marriage is not a product of wishes, fasting or prayer. It is attained by operating in the sense of the most High God. When you operate your home by covenant Bible Sense, it will be distinguished and you will be fulfilled in it. There is a key to open whichever door is before you. There is a key that unlocks the door to every successful home. This key is what I call the Bible sense for a glorious home. If you want a sweet and glorious home, you have to apply the keys that unlock the door. I have identified seven Reasons that make for a successful home. They are: Relate, Respect, Reason, Romance, Rule, Resist and Realise. God has graciously helped me to apply these keys in my home, and we have been having the best of time, living a stress-free life. As we consider each of these keys, I am sure the glory, honour and colour in your marriage will appear speedily. 1. Relate Relationship is a social togetherness which regards each party as relevant, thereby establishing a mental liberty that allows a free flow of communication, with no party feeling enslaved. Many couples just co-habit as roommates; without really relating with each other and enjoying any form of togetherness in their marriage. Marriage is designed by God for togetherness and social integration of the two individuals involved. Both of them leave their parents and cleave to each other, the two becoming one flesh (Gen. 2:24). There is a trinity of agreement in a marriage union. Socially, they are one in mind. Spiritually, they see the things of

God in the same way. Physically, they are the only two people that are permitted to be one in body. This trinity agreement clearly shows a three-fold cord that cannot easily be broken. That is why the enemy keeps trying to cause trouble in homes and separate married people. He wants to weaken them, so he can take advantage of them and afflict them. Benefits Of A Good Relationship In The Home The advantages of togetherness in the home are enormous. Matthew 18:19 says: ...If two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven. Deuteronomy 32:30 also says one shall chase a thousand, and two shall put ten thousand to flight. But this is on the condition that the two of them are in agreement. When there is love and harmony in a home, it becomes too strong to be defeated by the enemy (1 Pet. 3:7). The atmosphere in such a home makes it conducive for the Spirit of God to dwell and function, giving you a victory advantage in the battles of life. The destinies of the couple that enjoys a good marriage relationship is bright and colourful. God is covenantly bound to back them up. A relationship that lacks mutual benefits is nothing but slavery. 2. Respect The next key that will guarantee a successful home is Respect. This calls for the couple submitting to one another. They both should pay attention to each other's observations and respect each other's views. They are both to accord honour to each other, thereby adding colour to the home. Because the man will most likely have a problem with this, Peter advises in 1 Peter 3:7: Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. The sweetest woman on earth is the one respected by her husband. A wife is by covenant a joint-heir, with her husband, of the promise of life, and so should be

accorded the respect due her. The man should not wait to be respected by the woman. Respect should be mutual the woman respecting her husband, and the man according her the same as well. This way, peace, joy and love will reign in the home, making it a haven of rest. 3. Reason Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established: And by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches. Proverbs 24:3-4 Reasoning is the capacity for logical, rational, and analytical thought. Because each party has the mind of Christ, they should be able to look at issues logically and proffer solutions to whatever challenges may be confronting them. Majority of the crisis in many homes is as a result of poor reasoning and management. You should know your worth as a family, and what can be afforded per time. Right from when I used to earn three hundred naira per month, there was a budget for the family, which is handed over to my wife, so she doesn't come to me every day to ask for money for soup or bread. There was also a monthly allocation for the children, with which they can buy their pants, socks, etc, as well as give their offerings in church, without having to come to me each time they needed such things. The amount alloted to each was determined by my income. I have never prayed for money with which to pay my children's school fees, because my children always go to schools that I can afford. I have never prayed for money with which to pay my house rent, because I have never lived in a place that is bigger than my size. I don't wear coats on credit. When your car begins to cost you more than you can afford, please park it. It is better to park your car than have no food for your family. Don't use the money for food to repair your car. Trust your wife with your money. Don't go to the market and start asking for the price of fish and pepper. Relax, and trust her; because every great thing requires other people's input. You can't successfully manage your home alone. Reason and plan with your wife. Don't bite more

than you can chew, and then start believing that "The Lord will do it". The Lord won't do your planning for you. God gave you a brain, so you can give Him rest. He gave you a sound mind so you can reason and make logical and reasonable plans. Sound planning and management of available resources brings ease and serenity into your marriage. 4. Romance Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. 1 Corinthians 7:1-5 It is socially impossible to successfully run a home without a sound romantic relationship. Marriage is designed for your enjoyment. It is also to keep you from burning. God Himself put the sexual instinct inside the man and woman, to be given expression to and satisfied in marriage. Sex and romance are expressions of the love shared between a man and his wife. But it is only safe in marriage. When this is tampered with, a burning that can be disastrous is created. The cause of quite a number of problems in homes today can be traced to a breakdown in the romantic relationship between husband and wife. Husbands and wives are not only supposed to be united mentally and spiritually, they should also be united bodily. This completes the triune nature of their union. The more romantic your marriage, the more established your home will be. Also, a good romantic relationship between husband and wife gives room

for effective communication in the home, making it very vibrant spiritually. Let each man enjoy his wife, and let each woman enjoy her husband, lest Satan infiltrates and destroys the home. Don't pretend to be praying when your spouse wants your body. You have no power over your body (1Cor. 7:3-5). If you don't give your body to your spouse, someone else will. You must create a natural romantic environment in your home. A sexually deprived marriage is heading for destruction. Your marriage will not be destroyed! Be emotionally committed to each other, and you will enjoy a sweet and strong family. 5. Rule Biblically, the home is a human institution set up by God; but He leaves man with a responsibility, if he desires fulfilment in it. Maintaining order in the home is very important. There must be an administrative structure in the home, and all the parties involved in that government must see the need for it and comply with the rules. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Ephesians 5:24 There must be a leader in every home, for ease of administration and order. It is the man's duty to assess everybody else's opinion, and to make a decision that will be best for the home. Because the man sees better, he is able to determine what is best for the organisation. Women should accept the leadership of their husbands. Support your head, because the body (which you are) is useless without a head. God placed him there, no matter his age, social or economic status. For instance, the president or head of state of a country is not usually the oldest or smartest man in the country. The cheapest way to win the heart of a man in the home is to recognise his leadership position. If you do, he will go out of his way to preserve your honour and dignity. You never know how enjoyable your husband's love can be, until you demonstrate genuine submission to him. Your husband has a divine position from

God. You shouldn't propagate his deficiencies, but rather give your covenant support to him, in the overall interest of your family. In every home government, the man is the speaker, while the wife is the deputy speaker. The children are the listeners, who are allowed to make contributions when they are grown up enough to do so. Every successful husband is a good listener, but he must be firm enough to make his decisions. Just as every accident is blamed on the driver of a vehicle, and not the passengers; the man is to be blamed for every crisis in the home. He is the driver of the home. In spite of all the excuses Adam gave, God didn't spare him, so don't allow problemseeds to blossom in your home. Your wife is to be respected, not merely in theory or words, but by believing that she has something to offer in the home. She should be given an important role to play in the home government, otherwise it won't work efficiently. The wife must have a well-defined portfolio. This helps her to be more responsible, and to work for the interest of the home. When both the man and his wife are involved in the home government, they have succeeded in checking the devil out of their home. We have never had crisis in our own home, because we have a good administration in place that makes it work. The home affairs is managed by my wife. She accepts the responsibility as the executor of the home department. While I am projecting, she is busy maintaining, and together we are working towards the same goal. Lack of administration leads to frustration, and the essence of administration is to establish order. You will not fail! 6. Resist There are giants to be conquered in every man's Canaan. The giants are to be conquered, not wished away. You either stop them or they will stop you. That is why the Bible says, "Resist the devil, and he will flee from you" (James 4:7). No good thing comes easy. This is where resistance in marriage comes in. Don't watch the enemy tear down your home and destiny; rise up and shout him down.

Don't allow error to survive in your home, resist it spiritually and physically. If you notice that certain individuals come to visit your home or spouse, and when they leave, your home and relationship with your spouse becomes sour, approach your spouse and tell him or her you are not comfortable with the person's visit, stating your reasons for this. The Bible says, "Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners" (1 Cor. 15:33). If you don't resist such intrusions, the entire home might be corrupted over night. Don't stop resisting, until the error is lifted. Resist the devil continuously, till he bows out. Your resistance must be done in wisdom. Resist without making your husband or wife look like a fool, but making an observation that you know is in the interest of the family. I see your home becoming a land flowing with milk and honey, in Jesus' mighty name! 7. Realise Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain. 1 Corinthians 9:24 Continuity is the secret for realised dreams. It is wisdom to keep investing in what you know to be an asset. It is wisdom to continue in the pursuit of the six keys mentioned above until you obtain your desire. Every beautiful art work comes out of long hours spent in its production. The beauty you anticipate in your home requires that you keep at the facts that make it work. 8. Covenant Responsibilities Of The Husband When a husband and his wife occupy their covenant positions in the home, they are bound to enjoy a hitch-free married life. So, let us now consider the covenant responsibilities of each member in the marriage covenant. The husband's function in the home becomes easy when the covenant platform for its operation is known. That platform is love. The Bible admonishes the man thus: Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave

himself for it; Ephesians 5:25 A man will find it difficult to win the submission of a wife he doesn't love; but he won't need to pray and fast to win the submission of a wife that is loved. Submission flows naturally from a woman who is loved. The carnal nature of man makes him put himself first, and everybody else after. But by this covenant demand, everyone in the home must be considered first, before the man. Nothing makes a man's role in the home effective as love. When love is in place, it won't cost you anything to protect your wife and children. Providing for them will be a natural thing to you. You will not need to force yourself to train and raise your children. You will do it joyfully. I love my wife and children, so I make provisions for their upkeep, without stress or strain. What I give to them is reviewed upward as God increases me. This is done without anybody asking me to do so. As the husband, head and leader of the home, you are not to take advantage of other members of the family, but to serve their interest. The leadership example Jesus showed us portrays the leader as the servant of all. As a leader, you are to serve the interest of your subjects, and not oppress them. You should be interested in their wellbeing and fulfilment, and not be an opportunist or sadist. If you adopt this leadership style, you will enjoy the honour, submission and love of your family members. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Ephesians 5:23 Look at Christ and His relationship with the Church in John 10:11-13: I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep. But he that is an hireling, and not the shepherd, whose own the sheep are not, seeth the wolf coming, and leaveth the sheep, and fleeth: and the wolf catcheth them, and scattereth the sheep. The hireling fleeth, because he is an hireling, and careth not for the sheep. The husband is to take care of his wife in the same way Jesus took care of the

Church, His bride. The man is a shepherd husband, not a hireling husband. You owe your family a protective responsibility, so do everything to ensure their social security and protection. Don't watch the devil tear down your children and molest your wife. God instructed Adam to dress and keep the garden; that was why God did not spare him when the serpent gained entrance into the garden. He failed in his duty. The husband has to be a hardworking and thoughtful man. He must also be a genuine planner, because God has ordained him the provider of the home. But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. 1 Timothy 5:8 Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well. 1 Timothy 3:12 Child training is another covenant responsibility of the man. You don't watch the errors in your children degenerate into crisis. When reports came to Eli that his children were not behaving well, God sent Samuel to warn him. But Eli's response was, "He is God, let Him do it." Eli failed woefully in his responsibilities towards his children. Hear what God told him in 1 Samuel 2:30-31: Wherefore the Lord God of Israel saith, I said indeed that thy house, and the house of thy father, should walk before me for ever: but now the Lord saith, Be it far from me; for them that honour me I will honour, and they that despise me shall be lightly esteemed. Behold, the days come, that I will cut off thine arm, and the arm of thy father's house, that there shall not be an old man in thine house. He saw his children going wayward and did nothing about it, so he died for it. He fell over from his seat and broke his neck. When you have guests, and after entertaining them, your little child comes in and drinks up everything in the bottle, and you do nothing about it; know that you are already digging a pit for yourself. Proverbs 22:6 says: Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Note that you don't raise children with a

whip, you raise them with the Word of God. 9. Covenant Responsibilities Of The Wife The wife is the God-ordained helper of the man. In Genesis 2:18, God said, "...I will make him an help meet for him." She is a supporter, not an oppressor. God established the marriage institution in order to give the man a suitable helper. Just as the man is an ordained leader, the wife is an ordained helper in the home. The wife's ministry is to ensure that the man does not fail in his duties and that the home or family system does not break down. The responsibility of raising the children is the wife's, because she spends more time with them than the man does. She is there to ensure that the children are properly brought up, exhibiting good character. She must also be hospitable. Hospitality in the home is determined by the woman. The more hospitable you are as a woman, the more blessed your home becomes, because distribution is the only way to multiplication. The wife must be ready to welcome strangers and make them comfortable. Proverbs 31:10-15 enumerates the helps ministry of the wife. She is a genuine supporter and home maker, not an oppressor of the helpers in the house. She treats both her children and helpers equally. She doesn't cook a different food for her family, while the house maids are left to eat whatever food is available. Neither does she treat the maids as slaves, by serving them food in horrible plates. A wife is supposed to promote her husband. As a home maker, she gives her husband the rest and dignity that is due to him. For a home to be glorious, the husband must operate on the platform of love. His relationship with every member of the family must be based on love selfless love, the kind Jesus has for the Church. The wife must operate on the platform of submission. She must support her husband and succour him in every area of life. This must also be extended to other members of the family. As parents, perform your covenant

responsibilities towards your children, without being forced to do so. Learn to plan together, so you can live a stressfree life. Do everything with the wisdom of God, and your generation will thank God for your life. Your home shall be blessed and be a blessing to others, in Jesus' name! It shall be a pace-setter, showing others what a successful home is like, and causing them to desire it. Your home shall be fruitful! Love, joy and peace shall abound there and You shall never fail in Jesus' name! AMEN