Jessa Maureen M.

Carolino 2012-59026

My Issues

Every morning, I am reminded that there is something wonderful to look forward to in a day. My parents taught me to always be thankful and find a reason to smile. My father even told me that the latter wont be necessary since being a child of God is enough to bring happiness to a person. And so I do. Every day, I thank God for all the things Hes created and blessed me with, big or small. And every day, I put on a smile, whether I feel like it or not. But since April of 2012, I have been having a hard time being happy and joyful. I have found myself, most of the time, lost in my own world, not wanting to talk to people, and hiding my face so that no one would see Im still suffering and regretful.

Since my grandfather died, I couldnt deny the fact that our family has been a little less happy compared to when he was still with us. I remember him, always cracking a joke, even on the toughest days of our lives. He was always on the rescue, trying very hard and succeeding in planting a smile on our faces. And because the five-year old me loved being by his side and my grandmothers, I always find excuse to spend the night in their house during the weekends, and even on some weekdays. And every night, hed call my name and ask to me to write down the Lottery winning numbers and after, massage his and my grandmothers feet. But it didnt take long for me to grow up and the want to be by their side to fade. Soon enough, I started to like being with my friends, being able to surf the internet, and to play video games a little more than grandpa and grandma time. When theyd visit us in the city, Id be very excited on the first day, and when the day passes, I find excuses to avoid them so I could stay on my laptop. But that

was only because I thought I still had lifetime to bond with him, little did I know that I was going to lose him sooner than I expected.

And every day since he left, I regret those times I avoided him. Every day I remember him smiling at me, his eyes telling me that he wants me to talk to him about how my day went. And whether or not my storys boring or full of excitement, it would have been enough for him. I remember my grandmother telling me on the first day of the funeral that my grandfather wondered why we went home and did not stay in our house in the province even though it was summer. My grandmother told me that he wanted us to stay with them because he missed us while we were at school. Hearing that made me more regretful and I suffered so much that until now, my heart aches and I still cry at night.

And so every day, instead of being happy, I regret. Even though my mom has told me lots of times to forget and not dwell on the past, I still do, because I made a mistake which I cant fix anymore because hes gone. I want to go back, but its not possible. Theres no way to bring him back and tell him Im sorry I did not make time for him. And so instead, every night I pray to God and ask Him to take good care my grandfather and to make sure hes always smiling.

Confessions of a Green Card Bearer Fatima Lim On days like this, It is easy to be happy Apples are a dollar A dozen There is a two for one sale On sparkling wine The change come in cents, A penny rolls under a counter If I kept in mind all day The letters from home Speaking of mothers Boiling Bones and of a father in Tondo Who, mad in his hunger Carved his only son, I would go on my knees Searching for that coin A single cent Multiplies into fish And Loaves At the back of the store Are baskets of scraps Half a day old Which a whole village Would steal, even kill for But on days like this My mind is on my worries. How long will apples keep In a cool, dark place? Where should I hide Loose change? And when I finally Find the fiends and the time, What can we celebrate With the wine?

Diaspora - a group of people who live outside the area in which they had lived for a long time or in which their ancestors lived Full Definition 1. Capitalized - the settling of scattered colonies of Jews outside Palestine after the Babylonian exile - the area outside Palestine settled by Jews - the Jews living outside Palestine or modern Israel 2 - the movement, migration, or scattering of a people away from an established or ancestral homeland <the black diaspora to northern cities> - people settled far from their ancestral homelands <African diaspora> - the place where these people live Origin of DIASPORA Greek, dispersion, from diaspeirein to scatter, from dia- + speirein to sow First Known Use: 1881 Source/Reference: diaspora. (n.d.). Merriam-Webster. Retrieved December 3, 2013, from http://www.merriamwebster.com/dictionary/diaspora