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Peer Review Questions and Tips for Responding to Others Writing Essay 1 Draft #1

1. In your own words re!state the writers "ain idea or #uestion a$out edu%ation. If you have a hard ti"e doing this %an you te&& the writer whats getting in the way' Does the "ain idea see" $uried in the paper' (ow %ou&d the "ain idea $e%o"e %&earer' )e as %on%rete as you %an. *ann +atto and the writer a&& advo%ate for a s%hoo&ing syste" in whi%h %hi&dren %an $e "ore produ%tive in s%hoo& a "ore individua&i,ed pro%ess to reinfor%e the students &earning so that they %an -pi%. /their %areer01 and u&ti"ate&y strive for that goa&.

2. (ow does the writer use *ann and +atto as sour%es for the idea' 3re the sour%es in %onversation with ea%h other with these .ind of rhetori%a& "oves 4fro" +raff56 -3&though 7 argues that8 y $e&ieves that8.1 9 however "y own $e&ief is8..9 3%%ording to $oth 7 and y881 The writer uses $oth *ann and +atto as sour%es in order to further his argu"ent that %hi&dren no &onger have the individua&ity that they shou&d possess $e%ause of the way that the s%hoo&ing syste" is stru%tured. (e uses stru%ture su%h as -One "ight refute81 and su%%essfu&&y %ounters that point in the ne7t senten%e.

:. (ow did you respond to the essay' Did you find it engaging' If so what "ade it engaging' If not what %ou&d "a.e it "ore engaging' Try to answer this #uestion as thoughtfu&&y as you %an ; in a way that "ight he&p the writer to advan%e his < her idea in the ne7t revision. This essay is very we&& written and su%%essfu&&y gets "e to ponder the fa%t that the edu%atory syste" in p&a%e now is not wor.ing to $etter so%iety.

TIP= >OR RE=PO?DI?+ TO OT(ER PEOP@E= WRITI?+ 1. =ay so"ething positive. It is Aust as i"portant to .now what we are doing we&& in our writing as what things need i"prove"ent. 2. Ta&. a$out your responses whi&e reading the wor.. -When I read this senten%e I wondered if the paragraph was going to $e a$out this topi%.1 :. Briti#ue the writing not the writer. Instead of te&&ing so"eone they have trou$&e staying on topi% say so"ething &i.e -This paragraph doesnt see" to support your thesis.1 )e sure to as. &ots of #uestions of the writer. C. )e spe%ifi%. If you "a.e a state"ent a$out &a%. of organi,ation in the paper $a%. it up with spe%ifi% e7a"p&es in the te7t. D. Prioriti,e your %o""ents. =tart with $igger %on%ernsEthe #ua&ity of the argu"ent and the stru%ture of the paper. F. +ive the writer so"ething to wa&. away with. )ut dont try to write the paper for the writer $y te&&ing hi"<her what to say and how to say it.