Emerging Adulthood- The period of life from roughly age 18 to age 29 has been termed emerging adulthood (Arnett,

2000). Men and women in this stage are no longer adolescents, nor have they moved fully into adulthood (Rogers 6). In this statement, Holly Rogers builds on the work of Jeffery Arnett in her new book Mindfulness for the Next Generation: Helping Emerging Adults Manage Stress and Lead Healthier Lives by describing emerging adults as being in an interim stage of life, neither adolescents nor adults. For they have moved beyond the parental dependency that marks the early and pre-teenage years, but they have not quite entered into the world of weighty responsibilities that is characteristic of adulthood. Emerging adults are in the middle; a type of transition period. She depicts this stage as, an exciting and unique time of life. It is a time of change and exploration of possible life directions. Emerging adults are beginning to struggle with important life choices. What career is best for them? Who is the right life partner for them? (Rogers 6). Although full independence lies in the near future, there nonetheless remains a great degree of freedom to think through and contemplate personal decisions for what the scope of the future looks like. Where you work and whom you date and are two hotly discussed questions that emerging adults are thinking about. Whereas deciding on a career is largely an individual choice, the adventure of finding a spouse is a dynamic choice that requires relational skills and community engagement. Career questions and the marriage question are small parts of a two much larger categories: community and autonomy. Speaking in such general bipolarities will invariably open up the charge of reductionism. This point is well taken! I am certainly not arguing that choosing an occupation is entirely individualistic. After all, most jobs require social interaction and the few jobs that dont still call for assistance from others to confirm the suitability of the job to match the inquirer. Either way, the presence of those in the community at least plays a background role in making a career decision. Its never an absolutely autonomous choice; others are always involved. Conversely, its apparent that pursuing a romantic relationship calls for personal decisions. For example, young adults are free to decide whether or not they desire to make a long-term commitment to the person they are dating. This choice may be influenced by peers or elders, but it doesnt need to be. In the end, its completely up to the person to decide if they are willing to bring the relationship to the next level. Social decisions can never escape the presence of autonomy. Indeed, it would be impossible for a young adult to maneuver through this interim season of life without an active social environment. Although there is some overlap between the labels of community and autonomy, these are the exceptions that justify the categories. Just because the classifications can become grey at a few points doesnt invalidate the vast amount of discontinuity between community and autonomy. Much of the literature pertaining to emerging adults that I stumbled across fell into one of these two groups. Not only are such distinctions helpful for steering through the muddy ground of emerging adulthood, they even offer a map to help us arrive at a destination that gives a clearer understanding of that stage of life. Therefore, the categories of community and autonomy will pave the way forward. However, before we begin our journey, it would be wise to dialogue with 1

someone who has not a little respect in the psychological world to see if these labels are unusual. Opinions concerning the tensions that emerging adults face are plentiful, but perhaps the most innovative and well-known work has been done by Erik Erickson, an American developmental psychologist. In the Neo-Freudian school of thought, he is most famous for recognizing eight stages of human development, each of which entails a unique conflict. The process of maturity pushes the individual toward some kind of resolution to the tension so that movement into the next stage of human development can occur. For our purposes, the identity crisis for emerging adulthood has to do with two of Ericksons stages: intimacy vs. isolation (ages 20-24) and generativity vs. stagnation (ages 25-64). Although these stages are split up, Erickson himself acknowledges the connection, Intimacy and generativity are obviously closely related (Erickson 71). A fully orbed description of these life stages will take us on too long of a detour, yet it should not go by unobserved that, broadly speaking, the intimacy vs. isolation stage is tightly bound up with how one relates to others (e.g. community) while the generativity vs. stagnation stage is packaged together with individual success (e.g. autonomy). Perhaps these labels are not far away from accepted jargon in the psychology fields assessment of emerging adulthood. Marked by community. FirstRomance. What is the most effective way to get the attention of an emerging adult? Sex. Marriage. Dating. Relationships. These words alone carry such a powerful magnetic force that almost all college students will drop their homework, or whatever they are doing, and give over their complete and undivided attention to whoever is speaking. Lets pause for a moment and consider why this subject has such an allure for young minds. Aside, of course, from the fact that adolescent hormones are still alive and kicking, the exploration of the opposite gender raises an eyebrow for emerging adults for several reasons. Romance has an appeal because they are still feeling out their personal identity. Though much of the deep-seated character formation has occurred in the childhood and teenage years, there is still space for ones identity to be filled out in greater detail in the context of intimacy with the opposite gender. Therefore, the pursuit of the opposite sex in the context of dating contributes to the development of self. Perhaps this is where the common saying, finding your better half finds is veracity. Two writers on the subject of Boundaries in Dating have concluded that dating, when done properly, is an incubator time of discovering the opposite sex, ones own sexual feelings, moral limits, ones need for relationship skills, and ones taste in people (Cloud 17). Accordingly, the self-identity is shaped as the person interacts with others, especially in the context of love. Beyond the concept of self-identity, there is always the reality of love. One cannot have love alone. By definition, love must be shared. It must be chosen. Accordingly, love always involves others in the picture. The oft-quoted love chapter has it exactly right, Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs (1 Cor. 13:4-5). Notice that all these descriptions of love are interpersonal. According to the apostle Paul, any and all true 2

love necessarily entails a social element. Therefore, love pushes emerging adults toward the need for a community that is based on such a virtue, for love is indeed the most excellent way (1 Cor. 12:31). Unmistakably, the overwhelming majority of emerging adults are looking for someone to love. Many struggle with loneliness for precisely this reason: they lack romantic companionship. Conversely, the attempted solution for such a problem is to seek after emotional ties and a committed relationship, or at least enjoy the excitement and thrill of dating around. For those who lack moral conviction, sleeping around is not an uncommon way to deal with the pain of being alone. Although answers may vary, the problem that seems to be universal for emerging adults is lonelinessand its entailments: sorrow, grief, pain. For the Christian, love is the remedy. Joshua Harris has this point exactly correct, Every relationship for a Christian is an opportunity to love another person like God has loved us. To lay down our desires and do whats in his or her best interest (Harris 19). Even largely secular writers have computed love into the calculation, even if it is defined rather differently, From the resolution of the antithesis between intimacy and isolation, however, emerges love, that mutuality of mature devotion that promises to resolve the antagonisms inherent in divided function (Erickson 71). From the vantage point of most, then, emerging adulthood and the pursuit of love go hand in glove. Romance, however, does not have a monopoly on the word love. Indeed, C. S. Lewis has pointed out in The Four Loves that eros (romantic love) is different from agape (unconditional love) and that both must be distinguished from philia (friendship love) and storage (affection love). One may rightly question Lewis rigidly narrow semantic range of these Greek words, but it may be more difficult to question his assumption that love has a great diversity. With that said, love can move in the context of group friendships just as much as in the context of romantic relationships. It would be wise to take a look at this dynamic before pushing on to the mark of autonomy. For the sake of relevancy, the following section will entirely be confined to Christian friendshipsthat is, companionship that takes place among fellow believers. Many helpful insights could certainly derive from researching nonreligious friendships, but this is beyond the scope of the literature review. The prima facie authority for this subject, at least at Wheaton College, is the work of Dietrich Bonhoeffer titled Life Together. In the opening chapter, he insists that Christian community is not simply an ideal but rather a divine reality, not merely a human reality but a spiritual one. These realities exist in and through the person and work of Jesus Christ. He goes on to explain what these realities look like in practical terms: frequent and meditative reading of Scripture, singing songs of praise and worship, saying prayers with one another, participating in the Lords Supper and making a practice of confessing sins to each other. In a nutshell, that is Christian community according to Bonhoeffer. But Bonheoffers ideas were restricted to his time and unfortunately this means he was not in a place to be able to tease out the complexities of Christian friendships that exist in the technologically advanced West. Recent work must address these complexities. In todays day in age, an age of rapid technological development, close friendships can be a difficult thing to start and an even harder thing to maintain. 3

Over the last decade or so countless books, sermons, blogs and conferences have tackled the issue of friendship and technology. Opinions on the subject [friendship] today vary tremendously (Baab 11). On the traditional side, some are vehemently opposed to virtual friendship and describe most Internet interaction as superficial at best, destructive at worst. On the trendy side, others are parading technology as heaven come down to earth, a kind of progress toward social utopia that possesses endless possibilities for the future of friendships. It is true that in recent years conversation has progressed beyond such angry polarizations, yet in my opinion the jury is still out concerning the long-term effects that cyber-space friendships will have on the relational well-being of a given communityor generation. This does not mean that well thought out and clearly articulated suggestions havent been proposed. One recent book by Holly Rogers, mentioned a little earlier, argues that the way forward for the next generation is mindfulness. According to the books subtitle, mindfulness will help emerging adults manage stress and lead healthier lives. Quite apart from the credibility of this suggestion, Rogers herself admits the monumental task of implementing a strategy to convince emerging adults, especially college students, of their need to quiet down and be still. Students live in a high-tech world that involves constant multitasking and productivity. They write their papers while Facebooking, Twittering, and texting, with music blaring through their ear buds. Convincing them that less is more is a monumental task. That there is value in just sitting still and observing their breathing runs counter to their view of the world (Rogers 8). Whatever the recommended solution may be, whether mindfulness or something else, one thing is painfully clear: technology has redefined the nature of friendship. And there is no looking back. The only option is to move forward with a balanced mixture of caution and openness. A caution that is deeply rooted in a biblical worldview and openness that allows Gods Spirit to blow where he pleases. Oftentimes, however, God gives people a great amount of freedom to blow where they so please. Few Christian today believe the Bible is a how to manual for life decisions and may God help those brave souls who do! The fact of the matter is that the Bible does not provide any instruction whatsoever about how to go about choosing a spouse or what college to attend or which jobs to apply for once you graduateall questions that young adults wrestle with. In the midst of such profound silence on these issues, a few courageous and adventuresome souls will concede that one really fun part of Christianity is the flexibility God grants us to make our own decisions in life. Sometimes believers may prefer an audible voice from on high because it would make things a whole lot easier, but thats no fun. Wheres the adventure? Wheres the joy in the unknown? How boring of a world would this be if God handed every single tough choice in life to us on a silver platter? Thankfully, God does not do things that way. On the other hand, he does not have an I couldnt care less what you do attitude. He made all humans in his image and for his glory. In wonderful mercy, he has chosen a great multitude of people to be a part of his kingdom. For Christians, then, God has given the Holy Scriptures for us to know about his character and will for our lives. The Bible is full of principles that ought to guide our decisions. Not only so, God has given his Spirit to lead believers on their own unique journey. His Spirit brings conviction of sin, 4

empowerment to love, and guidance to liveto name a few. Since God has graciously provided us with his Word and his Spirit, it follows that he desires, even demands, to be a part of our life story. Better yet, he calls us to be a part of his grand metanarrative. This grand story includes each of our individual stories: the dreams we have and the translation of that dream into a career. It just so happens that each of these falls within the autonomy aspect of emerging adulthood. Dreams. By way of definition, the kind of dream that is being talked about does not involve a bed and a pillowas restful as that may be! In The Logic of the Spirit James Loder clearly articulates the essence of a dream, The understanding of dream here is like a vision of the future that gathers up deeply felt personal feelings and translates them into images of oneself in the adult world out there, the world one is entering as a young adult. Thus, dream has a transitional quality; indeed, like a transitional object, it combines what is the present personal situation with what is open to oneself in the adult world of the future (Loder 259). Having a dream gives hope and elicits motivation for moving onward in life, away from the stage of parental dependence and toward a future unfettered by society. Therefore, its important that the dream is owned by the individual and not simply handed down by a family member, suggested by a friend, or imposed by culture. What someone is passionate about and usually what they excel at are two components that operate as a fulcrum for the dream, both its origin and its fulfillment. Though modifications are normally made as life unfolds, this can be an enormously constructive power in ones life. The fulfillment of the dream carries so much weight that Loder dares to claim, the primary authority in ones life as a young adult is the integrity of the dream, whether it is obeyed or not; to disobey is to pay a high price (Loder 260). Perhaps this may be slightly overstated, but the embellishment is only present because there is an unambiguous drive and ambition that accompanies each persons dream. By way of transition, the whole topic of dreams is related to the topic of occupation. After all, choosing a career path is merely the outworking of the dream. Yet because there is not always robust clarity about ones dream, due in large part to traumatic childhood experiences, the decision about what vocation to choose can sometimes be a tricky one. But mere complexity will certainly not cause emerging adults to shy away from the matter. In fact, the venturesome nature of the job-hunt investigation is in itself an exciting activity. Of course, this is not to deny that many personal frustrations, such fear of failure or fear of rejection, will prompt them to approach the task with a certain amount of timidity. But with those caveats identified, it is hard to exaggerate how important the decision of finding a suitable job is. Its importance points to something deeper still, something that lies at the heart of emerging adulthood, and in my opinion is one of two the defining marks of this exciting stage of life: autonomy. Autonomy. According to Merriam-Webster dictionary its defined as, selfdirecting freedom and especially moral independence. It has been argued that individual autonomy has a definite sociological thump as its heartbeat. In a collaborative article by Kathleen McElhaney and Joseph Allen titled Sociocultural Perspective on Adolescent Autonomy, they state that, Values that are particularly 5

relevant to the autonomy process include views about the relation of individuals to larger groups, relations of children to family, and developmental expectation for gaining rights and responsibilities. Such values are closely tied to socialization goals (Kerig 163). Therefore, interaction in a group dynamic among peers or even family members contribute to the larger framework in which autonomy is embedded. This claim highlights the significance of community in the development process of emerging adults. Once again, it shows that no absolute bifurcation exists between the role of autonomy and community in the human development of emerging adults. Perhaps this convergence can best be seen in ones religious worldview. Within the psychological world, James Fowler has done rather extensive research on moral judgment and faith development in his work Stages of Faith: The Psychology of Human Development and the Quest for Meaning. He differentiated six progressive stages of faith development throughout the human life span, although admittedly not all reach the most advanced phases. Pertinent to young adults is the fourth phase, which is defined as the individuative-reflective stage (ages 25-35). Angst and struggle mark this period because its when the individual must make their faith their own and take personal responsibility for a religious worldview that may or may not have been inherited from others. Transparently, feeling out how faith does or does not conform to reality brings about new complexities for the person and will likely increase perception of various conflicts within their conception of what is out there. Another complimentary viewpoint, albeit a gender sensitive perspective, is found in Carol Gilligans book In a Different Voice. Here she corrected Lawrence Kohlbergs six-stage theory of moral development by exposing the male-bias toward justice (not to mention exclusively male research!), and insisted that females mature in their process toward care that is grounded in non-violence. This morality of care for females presumes a deep desire for interconnectedness that is grounded in early childhood experiences with ones mother. Since priority lies in the ability to nurture properly, there is significantly less focus on fairness and equality, which are so prominent among males according to Kohlberg. Several scholars have built upon Gilligans viewpoint and many more have borrowed from Fowlers system of thought, but one interesting author who has managed to do both is Sharon Parks. Her first book on the subject of moral development The Critical Years was superseded a decade and a half later by the more expanded Big Questions, Worthy Dreams. James Loder says her work was helpful in describing a convergence between Carol Gilligan and James Fowler on the formation of moral judgment (Loder 261). How exactly did she merge the thought of these psychologists? Well, Parks overall line of reasoning follows the basic structure that she outlines quite clearly: form of cognition, form of dependence, form of community. Woven together these strands form a descriptive model of the journey of faith in adulthood (Parks 43). The purpose of this model is to shed light on the intimate relationships between cognitive development and the development of affect, community, and faith (Parks 44). In particular, she sees most but not all college age students moving out of an authority bound dualism that has clear cut boundaries of right and wrong and 6

us verses they. In this way, there is little room for ambiguity or grey areas for the tendency is to be very dogmatic. The stage these emerging adults move into is characterized by interpretive leaps that the human mind projects onto reality. A transformation of Authority-bound knowing typically occurs in the discomfort of finding that established patterns of thinking do not accommodate lived experience (Parks 47). Unwittingly following Immanuel Kants distinction between the noumenal and phenomenal worlds, Parks claims this stage recognizes that access to the world out there is never uninterpreted but rather meditated by the cultural lens through which the individual perceives reality. She calls this unqualified relativism. However, Parks hastens to qualify the duration of this stage, One discovers that there is a difference between just any opinion and an opinion that is grounded in careful and thoughtful observation (Parks 49). But no matter how careful and thoughtful one processes through the data, the fact of the matter is that all worldviews are culturally interpreted. Clearly this can turn into a hermeneutical circle, or better yet spiral, very quickly. But to avoid that lengthy debate, it will suffice to point out that, in reference to Parks graduation from unqualified relativism, the evaluation of each perspectives validity depends upon various principles such as internal consistency, acknowledgment of presuppositions, external data, appeals to authority and so on. Certainly the criterion of such an assessment harkens back, at least in part, to the individuals autonomous thinking and personally decided upon values, goals, and passions. What is more, the symbols and language of the local community also plays a pertinent role in how one works through their religious worldview. This brings us back to the categories of autonomy and community as discussed earlier. They converge at a few points, religious worldview being one of them, but they are by and large isolated categories that have paved the way through our journey of emerging adulthood.