Contents

... a division of
pg 4
Mudshark Media Inc.
pg. 4 - King of the
Publisher/Editor: North: Not About
to Cross the Road
Tony Loeffen
pg. 6 - About the
Writers: Filmmakers: a dis-

Cyndi Mayhew pg 6 cussion with Mike

Humble and Kevin
Lester B pg. 14 Hoffman
Ideabong
Tony Loeffen
pg. 8. - The Rid-
ing of the Bull: a
Ideabong
Illustration: photo essay from

Tyler Roy
pg 10 the Country Club.

pg 10. Sara E. May-

Photography: hew: Northern
Mangake. by Cyndi
Tony Loeffen\\ pg. 24
Mayhew

Site Design: pg 12. Ideabong:

Quality Advice
Sterling Campbell from the Sagest of
Bongs.

pg 14. The Man

With No Name: A
Teacher of Diffi-
pg 12 cult Lessons.
when we are wrong ... please inform us,
and send photo submissions, articles,
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keep us posted about your upcoming events pg 8
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03
 From the archives...

King of the North: Not About to Cross the Road...

SAB has spent his career living the rock ‘n roll dream and bringing that dream to pretty much
every community in the North. A big part of his massive appeal in remote areas is his ability to
share the dream with people who have to wake up and go to work in the morning. After over 20
years of allowing people to vicariously live the rock and roll lifestyle through him, SAB is now
living the nightmare. Cancer has got to be top 5 on everyone’s list of worst fears, and SAB has
been diagnosed with it. Unbeknownst to SAB, a benefit show was organized for him, to raise
funds to help ease the financial burden that sickness brings. If the measure of a man is how
many people show up to his benefit concert then SAB is truly a giant. Most people thought SAB
would show up, not understanding that he really didn’t know it was happening. Lester B and I
caught up with SAB before a show at the Voyager this past winter, and were eager to discuss
recent developments in his life and career.
SAB: Benefits are sometimes for people that it makes me smile, so I get as much back as in Northern Ontario, and the Ottawa Valley.
are dying or dead, and that’s not me, I want I give out. There is this autistic gentleman The record company guy said to me, “What
to be really clear about that. It was a very named Carl Jr. who comes out to my place about the rest of the places”. I said, “What
nice gesture though, and I’m glad that they and he gets up and sings with me and stuff, do you mean?” This is where I’m from. I’m a
did it,…and I thank everyone who showed and one time he called me up and he asked Northerner. I’ve got 4 foot snow banks at the
up for it. It reminded me how lucky I am. me: “How are you doing SAB?”, and I said, end of my driveway, and so does everybody
“I’m having a rough day today Carl, I’m a I know.
Tony Loeffen: What gets people through little tired.” He said to me: “Close your eyes,
difficult times is their spirit, and a person’s it will make you feel better.” And then he TL: You’re living in Pembroke, but you’re still
spirit is energized by the friendships that one said: “Are your eyes closed now?” and I said from North Bay right?
has. At your benefit, there was a lot of love “Yes”. Then he said, “Are you feeling better?”
in that room. You know what I mean? I felt better because SAB: I’m from the North. I’m proud to be
someone wanted me to. This is what my from the North. Once when I was play-
SAB: When you get frustrated by things, you friends do for me. Life ain’t that bad. I’m ing with Ronnie Hawkins, and we were
tend to take it out on the people you love. alive, I’m laughing, I can’t ask for anything in Oakville, and Glass Tiger and all these
And when they’re there for you, it reminds more than that. I even have a beautiful wife people were there, a lot of Canadian talent.
you that you have people that you love. and two beautiful daughters. This is just a Ronnie kept calling me the King of the North,
chapter in the book; a small one. I don’t get and one guy laughed about it, and I thought
Lester B: Maybe it isn’t that you are taking it preoccupied by the disease. Billy Bob was going to knock him out. Ron-
out on the people that you love, but that you nie went up to the guy, right in face and said:
are more likely to express your frustrations TL: If you stop living because of it, that’s “Well boy, what are you King of?”
and feelings to the people that you love. how the disease wins.
TL: That’s how you got the name King of the
SAB: Sometimes I feel like, “What the F***?” SAB: That’s not going to happen. I’m going North?
But I try not to ask why, I’ve never believed to die at 97 years old, while banging the old
in it. I have to play from a chair sometimes, lady. She’s going to roll over with a smile on SAB: Ronnie Hawkins hung that one on
and I rock from that chair, even when I am her face and say: “It’s the dope that killed me. I always use a hockey analogy when I
too tired to stand. him”. describe my career. I think of it as playing in
the AHL. I don’t even want to be in the NHL.
TL: Is it hard to get yourself into the mindset Lester B: You’re just starting to live. In the AHL, I can score 2 goals every night
to entertain? Putting out as much energy as for as long as I want. In the NHL, I would sit
you do, for other people, when you barely SAB: Damn right, I’m even keeping all my on the bench for a season, and then it will be
have enough for yourself … hair through this. Some people’s hair falls all over. I’m staying in my league. I can sup-
off. I don’t give a f*** about my hair, but I’m port my family by playing guitar and enter-
SAB: I’ve been doing this for so long, it is hoping that my gut falls off. A little while ago, taining people. I can rock until they take me
part of my subconscious, so I’m never really I won at the Peterborough Music Awards, across the road... in about 50 years...
off. It’s fun when you see the lads, and the guitarist of the year, and entertainer of the
people out, I know it’s time to give it. If I
make somebody have a good time or smile,
year. And I got a new album that’s dedi-
cated to all my friends and family and fans Next: expecting great summer
news, we catch up with SAB...

04
05
 ... about the filmmakers
The first part of starting a second project is reflecting on the first. I was priveleged to catch Mike Humble
and Kevin Hoffman while they were doing just that at Cecil’s. “About the Girl” has enjoyed substantial suc-
cess, including a victory for Best Cinematograpy for Ed Regan at the 2009 Northern Ontario Music and Film
Awards. The team looks to build on that success with another project to begin soon.
Tony Loeffen: So how did you guys decide
to work together?
Kevin Hoffman: We work at the same
place, Clark Communications, where I’m the
art director, and Mike is the writer.
TL: How did this project get started? The
script came from you right Mike?
Mike Humble: Ya, but we decided to do a
film before I had the script written.
KH: The reason that it really came about is
this freelance photographer who does some
work with us, Eddie Regan, got a video
camera, and shot a commercial for us. It
looked great and we were all jacked, so we
got thinking …
MH: … and I had a bunch of ideas for scripts
already, so I said I would put something
together. Suddenly, we were making a film.
TL: How long have you been writing for?
MH: I’ve been writing for ages; I always have
about 12 things on the go.
TL: Have you always written for the screen?
MH: I started with novels, but it’s one of
those things… you have a limited amount of
time, and it is hard to put aside enough time
to finish something like that. I was thinking
to write a feature, but these guys wanted to
start with a smaller project. We decided to
do a short to get our techniques down, and
then move to something bigger.
TL: I guess it is handy to not only write
books, but to write for the screen as well,
because it reaches a different audience. My
favorite director, Werner Herzog said that
“Film is not the art of scholars, it is the art
of illiterates”. What I’m thinking he meant
is that a filmmaker can write and reach an
06
audience that may not read.
MH: I think that Herzog fans are probably a
very literate bunch on average. The process
of writing for the screen is very different. I
find that when I go back and read, the dia-
logue parts seem so phony. It looks fine on
the page, but when you read it out loud, it’s
no good at all. I had that initial challenge of
adjusting my style so that dialogue could be
delivered naturally and sounds like some-
thing someone would actually say, instead of
sounding like pre-meditated speech.
TL: Ya exactly, I was wondering about that.
Jeremy Cormier’s character called your
character a “pedantic stoic” in the film, and I
was wondering if he would have called you
that in real life.
MH: There was some back and forth about
that line for sure, but we decided to leave it
in.
TL: I think it worked. It was definitely memo-
rable. That must mean it had something
going for it.
MH: It even made the trailer. There was a
30 second trailer for the film festival we put
it in, and that passage made it in there. We
thought that Jeremy’s character considered
himself to be smarter than his buddies, and
liked big words, so it was a fit.
TL: Was there anything personal in that
story for you?
MH: A little … everything I write is personal
obviously. The story is more about breaking
up with somebody as opposed to them dying
… TL: No doubt that there are people coming
TL: It dealt with the concept of loss.
MH: It considered what lengths someone
would go to in order to understand what
happened to a relationship. Any break up,
even if it is instigated by you, can be confus-
ing. So, I spun the break up into a bigger
scenario,…
TL: Your main character’s voyage of self-dis-
covery runs parallel to his investigation into
the cause of his ex-girlfriend’s death.
MH: The character that I play has given up
on everything and spends his nights in the
seediest bar in town where he won’t know
anyone.
TL: He’s trying to figure out if he’s still “that
guy”.
MH: Ya, and his buddy, played by Mike How-
ard, starts getting worried, seeing him slip
further and further. He calls the other friend,
know that he could function as a catalyst to
snap him out of it. In order to get past the
event, he has to understand it. So the inves-
tigation begins.
TL: You never show the girl’s face and you
don’t divulge much information about her. Is
that so that the audience can superimpose
their lost love on that character thereby
allowing them to relate to the story even
more?
MH: That was the jist of it for sure…
KH: Her identity is irrelevant.
MH: Even the title reflects that fact. “About
the Girl” specifically preserves that ambigu-
ity. One woman came to me and said that
she had lost someone several years ago…
up to you and telling you their similar stories,
because loss is universal.
MH: The woman I referred to said this film
really touched a nerve and captured a lot of
her feelings of uncertainty and made her ask
the “big why” question.
KH: One of the other questions that women
are asking after seeing this is “why does
Mike look so hot on screen?”
MH: It’s because I’m acting hot.
TL: Talking about acting, it must have been
quite a stretch for Adam Orszt to play a
ginormous intimidating dude.
MH: He’s still pissed off about his credit;
“The Big Guy”. He thought we might come
up with something better than that.
KH: I had some relatives who saw it and
came up, and we went to the George. They
couldn’t believe it when they saw him. They
thought he was even bigger in person than
he is on the screen.
TL: Ya, most people that don’t know Adam
would assume that you must have been us-
ing some kind of special effects to make him
that big. So, for the record, there aren’t any
special effects involved with the size of “The
Big Guy”?
MH: Nope.
KH: He really is a big guy.
MH: The other thing with the script because
it was just sort of an exercise to see what we
could do, we wrote most of the characters
to who we already knew were going to play
them.
TL: Good idea. You tailored the script to the
actors that you knew you had available.
MH: Exactly, I wrote the character of How-
ard for Mike Howard, who is exactly that
character in real life. The quiet guy, who is
everybody’s best buddy, who’s always there
for you, steadfast and true. With him, it was
easy.
MH: Actually, the biggest stretch was my
character, because I am a lot more easy go-
ing, and happy-go-lucky in real life than my
character. It was difficult for me to get to that
place, with Jeremy Cormier and Mike joking
around on the shoots.
TL: Any of you guys have a history in acting?
MH: Jeremy has done some stage and a
little film. He’s actually in “That Beautiful
Somewhere”. Tracy Richardson has done a
lot of stage, but aside from that, it was the
first time for everyone.
TL: Did you guys find that there was an ex-
isting community of film makers locally that
you could interact with, or anyone whose
expertise you could draw on?
MH: I didn’t realize until after the fact that
there is a lot of stuff going on in North Bay.
Short films and other projects getting done
by a pretty diverse group of people.
TL: Actually, the gentleman sitting two
booths away won North Bay Film Festival’s
short film competition before. Andy William-
son is his name. Film community is all over
the place here. Kevin, in terms of your role,
you have Eddie doing cinematography and
Mike is the writer, how did you carve out an
area for your vision between those two?
KH: Mike and I talked a lot about who these
characters were, how the story was going to
work. So, I had input at that level. Plus, I am
a very visual person, as a painter and an il-
lustrator, so I was able to work with Eddie re-
ally well to select angles and compositions,
etc. It was a very collaborative project. My
role over-lapped their roles, so I was almost
a liason making it all fit together.
TL: You guys put a lot of love into scouting
locations.
MH: We used a lot of places that I used to
hang out in high school. That whole under
the bridge scene.
TL: Where is that bridge?
MH: It’s down Main West by the reserve.
TL: My personal favorite location was in the
alley way beside The Frame Maker, where
those two graffiti pieces painted by Mike
Olah and Andrew Raftis. You got some of
the best public art in North Bay into your film.
Perhaps the only sanctioned graffiti in North
Bay courtesy of Michelle Trudeau. It was
nice to see places like Omer’s, the parking
garage, the government dock.
MH: We lucked out with The Sands as well.
We needed a scummy bar, so we weren’t
exactly going to be able to use Leo’s…
TL: That was the Library Lounge?
KH: We got in there about 3 weeks before
it closed once and for all. You should have
seen how difficult it was to keep the com-
pletely wasted people there quiet while we
shot scenes.
TL: The commercial viability of short films is
limited at best, so this is more about getting
your name out I suppose.
MH: This was an exercise in creativity.
KH: We learned so much by doing this…
TL: Worst case scenario is that you have
developed skills that you can bring back into
your careers. Multi-media and marketing go
hand in hand.
KH: I’ve got a directing credit and I learned
how to edit video. This is very useful to me.
TL: Are you doing festivals with this film?
MH: We’re in the National Screen Institute
of Canada Festival. We’ve also submit-
ted to the Northern Ontario Film and Music
Awards.
TL: Are you planning to do another one?
MH: Well, I’ve been writing scripts and Eddie
has been investing in technology … and you
know, like I was saying about the novels,
they’re a lot of work, and they were going
nowhere for the most part, so this is has re-
ally rekindled my passion for writing.
TL: As a writer, you have limited opportuni-
ties to collaborate. When you write for the
screen you have a sense of immediacy.
MH: There’s that, and it’s not just about me
anymore, there are other people involved, so
that kept me going.
KH: It was an ambitious project for us, given
our experience, so getting it done was an
incredible feeling. We’ll definitely doing
another one soon.
 THE RIDING OF THE BULL
North Bay’s bravest partygoers test their skills
against a mechanical beast, the likes of which are
are rarely seen round these parts...

Hosted by Jeremy Vega

08
09
SARA E. MAYHEW:
NORTHERN MANGAKA
Literally translated, Manga means “whimsical
pictures”. Originating from an explosion of
artistic creativity following the period of the
US occupation of Japan, Manga is strongly
shaped by Western culture. In Japan, these
comics are widely read by people of all ages.
Manga has also gained immense popularity
here in the west.
I am meeting with Northern Ontario’s Man-
gaka extraordinaire; Ms. Sara E Mayhew, to
speak about her upcoming Japanese graphic
novel “Legend of The Ztarr”. I stepped
into Sara’s “office”, which doubles as her
bedroom. She is propped up on her bed,
eyes glued intently to her computer screen,
digitally coloring her artwork. This is where
the internationally recognized Manga artist
conjures up her intricate tales of Superhero-
ine love affairs and other-worldly battles of
good vs. evil. Mayhew has sold close to a
thousand copies of her first novel, which is
now being sold at Chapters, Amazon, as well
as numerous bookstores across the north.
Not bad for a twenty-four year old self-pub-
lished author. Mayhew receives invitations
to attend industry conventions all across the
U.S and Canada.
Sara is influenced by such sci-fi classics as
Star Trek and Star Wars. She doesn’t look
like your typical Trekkie, however. She’s pe-
tite; dressed in a long, ultra-feminine blouse
over skinny jeans, a tiny jeweled barrette
adorning her short sheek ‘do. This reflects
her style of writing; a more feminine ap-
proach to comic books. Mayhew’s brand of
10
modern ‘Shōj’o Manga is replete with action
and romance. Love is major theme; set into
emotionally intense narratives of self-real-
ization. Manga’s tendency to have female
lead characters, with romantic plotlines ap-
peals to woman readers, who typically elude
the comic book market.
“Manga relies a lot more on symbolism
than traditional western comics.” Mayhew
explains. “American comic books tend to be
more literal in their storytelling. In Manga,
a character can burst into flames and the
reader understands that he or she is only
figuratively bursting into flames. It means
they’re angry or passionate.”
Despite her lack of desk or any sort of
professional workspace, Sara successfully
operates a studio as a professional illustra-
tor, specializing in creating manga artwork
for individual clients and publishing compa-
nies. ‘Ztarr Manga Studios’ already boasts
an impressive array of clients. She has
illustrated for Canadian educational pub-
lishers Scholastic, as well as for Owl Kid’s
ChickaDEE Magazine. She also does work
for individual clients across the U.S.
In 2005, Sara used her $5000 US prize from
the International Manga and Anime Festi-
val to self-publish her first graphic novel,
Secrets of Sorcerers.
Last year Sara was awarded another gener-
ous grant, this time from the Ontario Arts
Council. Grants such as these have enable
Sara to afford the costly printing process of
being a self-publishing novelist. “My plans
are to put together a proposal and pitch it to
Manga publishers, rather than continuing the
indie route. Things have changed and there
are options now that weren’t open before in
the industry.”
These days Sara is writing her second
novel, Legend of the Ztarr, which revolves
around a young orphaned girl and her fateful
crusade to destroy the galaxy’s evil emperor.
Although her work is geared towards young
woman, Sara’s mastery of witty dialogue
and ability to create endearing characters is
enough to engage readers of all ages. Sara’s
novels are also available in web comic
format at www.ztarr.net, which draw a large
worldwide fan following.
Recently, a rather extraordinary opportunity
has bestowed itself upon the promising
young artist. Sara has been invited to attend
the annual Technology Entertainment and
Design (or TED) conference held in Long
Beach, CA. TED gathers the world’s leading
thinkers and doers to share information on
varied subjects, with the goal to engage and
inspire. It is not an easy ticket to acquire.
The conference is ‘invites only’, sold out a
year in advance. Twenty free tickets were
given to “...people of exceptional talent or
achievement able to demonstrate an excep-
tional value to the TED community”, who
were unable to pay the pricey $6000 US fee.
Sara’s passion for art is equaled only by her
fascination with science. She will be flown
to L.A for a week courtesy of TED, to mingle
with the world’s top scientists and innovators,
authors and artists of today. Past speakers
have included theoretical physicist Stephen
Hawking, primatologist Jane Goodall, author
Richard Dawkins, to Designer Isaac Mizrahi
and former president Bill Clinton. “I love
reading about science and I’ve really come
to understand that science isn’t something
separate from our day to day lives—science
is a way of thinking and a way of viewing our
world with complete honesty. I’d like to make
stories that inspire a passion for science and
learning.” Being the only Canadian invited to
the prestigious conference is quite the honor.
TED will be a valued opportunity for Sara to
meet others in the arts and design industries.

With a natural propensity for artistic creation

and much dedication to her craft, Sara has
managed to build herself a promising career,
doing what she loves, while remaining in her
small Northern Ontario community.
By Cindi Mayhew

...next month a critical analysis

of Locavism. Sara Mayhew at TED

... stay tuned to what’s

happening in the Bay
with Solvent Magazine

Events Listings at

www.solventmagazine.com

11
Kimberly asks: Which path should I take next?
Ideabong says: Take the long and perilous path. The one with an
unknown destination and fraught with danger. The other paths will be
so full of sheeple, that you will never get anywhere.
Mala asks: Why must we ache?
Ideabong says: Alas, Mala, we must ache because our awareness
of our capacity to ache is very painful
Julie asks: Will I fly this summer?
Ideabong says: Look at your beautiful wings Julie, and you tell
the Ideabong why you wouldn’t be flying this summer.
Joejobs asks: Is Ninja Vs. Pirate the greatest band ever?
Ideabong says: No. But Ninja vs Pirate is the greatest band south of
Sturgeon Falls and North of Sundridge.
Lydia asks: Will I find true love?
Ideabong says: only if you stop looking for it. By definition, the act
of searching, places that which is sought outside of one’s grasp. Let
true love find you Lydia.
Suzanne asks: Should I keep dating a guy I just met, even though
he is moving away in two months?
Ideabong says: relationships can be emotional, and they can be
strategic, and they can be any combination of the two. In order to
make this decision, you need to determine whether it will be made
based on emotional considerations or strategic ones. If your emo-
tions are to guide you, then yes, you should continue to date the guy.
Obviously you like him. If your decision is strategic, the answer is still
yes. Why would you ever pass up the opportunity to keep a far away
dude on the hook while you scout the home front for someone more
suitable? So, Ideabong emphatically says: “YES”.
Norman asks: What do you think the outcome of 2012 will be?
Ideabong says: I think in the aftermath of Dec 21, 2012, a giant
amongst men will rise out of the ashes of civilization. His name will
be Norman. He will bring peace and prosperity to his numerous fol-
lowers.
Charles asks: Will I ever get the girl?
Ideabong says: if by “getting” the girl, you mean that “pos-
sessing” the girl is your objective, then, no. Always re-
member: that which you seek to possess will, in fact,
possess you. You might, however, be possessed by the
girl. Is that suitable to you?
12
Amy asks: What is the best country in the world to live in, and why?
Ideabong says: If you like starvation, violence and dirt, then Sudan
is the best country in the world. If you like it when China extracts
your country’s oil resources and America uses your country as a
pawn in its low intensity propaganda war against China, then Sudan
is where you want to pitch your tent. If you enjoy a country in which
there is explosive population growth amidst a myriad of problems,
most of which are caused by over-population, then the Sudanese na-
tional anthem plays on repeat in your heart. Otherwise, it is Canada.
Canada totally rocks.
Willy asks: Is Kelly really a man?
Ideabong says: Kelly is whatever Kelly says he or she is. Ideabong
got totally obliterated in a debate with a femi-nazi last week about
whether or not society should be able to dictate gender identity to
a sovereign individual. Learn from my mistakes, and don’t ever get
stuck in the same room as a femi-nazi.
Big Chief asks: Who is John Galt?
Ideabong says: John Galt is the symbol of all the hatred that
objectivists have for themselves and for everyone else in the world.
John Galt is also the symbol of all the hatred that Ideabong has for
Ayn Rand, and objectivism in general. Congratulations Big Chief,
you have uttered the single most annoying question in the history of
literature.
Johnny asks: Is it really such a good idea to go to Hawaii?
Ideabong says: if you really like Hawaii, and are unable to make it
come to you, going to Hawaii, is not only a good idea, it is the only
idea.
Cottrell asks: Why am I so gay?
Ideabong says: because you are too fabulous to not be gay. It takes
all the colours of the rainbow to make the sky pretty after a summer
rainfall. Don’t ask why, just dig it.
Suzanne asks: Will Peter and I ever get back together?
Ideabong says: that’s funny, Ideabong was just asked if Suzanne
still has space in her heart for her humble servant Peter. If this is the
same Peter, and you are the same Suzanne, then Ideabong sus-
pects that the coals or romance yet smolder under the ashes of shit
gone wrong. Give him a call Suze, you only live once.
Laps Berry asks: Why do hotdogs come in packages of 10, but
hotdog buns come in packages of 8?
Ideabong says: because for every 4 hotdogs you eat, you should
sacrifice one to the gods, and the gods hate buns.
Jordan asks: Why does Googley send this dumb shit to me?

Ideabong says: Googley understands that everything is defined by ... you ask the ideabong
its opposite. Googley sends you dumb shit to teach you what smart
shit is. It appears that, since are able to identify that which Googley a question
has sent you as being dumb, you must be able to make the distinc-
tion now, so Googley has succeeded. You should thank Googley.
... the ideabong smokes
Jory asks: I went for a lunch date with the old friend that I’m inter- ... the ideabong thinks
ested in. We had a great afternoon. What do I do now?

Ideabong says: don’t put pressure on the situation. You had a great ... the ideabong answers
time having lunch. That implies that you enjoy each other’s compa-
ny, it does not imply anything beyond that. But then again, you were your question
there ... you saw the presence or absence of twinkling stars in the
eyes of the other party in this exchange. You probably already know

www.ideabong.com
the answer. Look within, and follow your heart.

Martina asks: Should I cheat on my husband?

Ideabong says: If, when you gaze upon your husband, you aren’t
getting butterflies in your tummy anymore, grab a set of water-wings
and jump overboard, because the boat that is your marriage is sink-
ing. Having extricated yourself from that needless entanglement,
swim to the shores of the jungle of love, grab your net, and go on the
hunt for new butterflies.

Norb asks: Given that in our known reality, everything comes from
something else and time is the only constant, how does this work
in relation to the beginning of the universe? Did time have to start?
Does time exist at all? What caused the universe to be in the first
place? If time is a constant what happened before the universe? If
you believe in god, where did god come from? Really it isn’t possible
for everything to come from something and for time to be a constant.
One must be false. Which is it?

Ideabong says: given that in our known universe everything comes

from energy, and time is relative (see Einstein’s general theory of
relativity), it, being time, does not work in relation to the beginning
of the universe, as relativity breaks down in the presence of singu-
larities (see Stephen Hawking’s theorems regarding singularities
in the framework of general relativity). Next, to answer your further
questions. Time does exist, but did not have to start and it does not
have to end. Time is absolutely not a constant. The universe started
in what is called a “Big Bang”. If you believe in god, god comes from
within your head. You are correct that it isn’t possible for everything
to come from something else, and for time to be a constant. You are
incorrect that (only) one must be false. Both of your assumptions
are, in fact, false. Start from scratch Grasshopper.

Norb replies: It seems I greatly underestimated the power of the

Ideabong. I was merely trying to stump a pothead from Cornwall but
in the process I stumped myself. Since sending you the last ques-
tion I have done quite a bit of research on the subject and I agree
with your statements that you have now stated. However, the new
information has only caused more questions, none of which could be
answered by anyone, whether bong or pothead.

Ideabong says: thanks for your kind words Norb, however, this
bong can answer ANY question, so bring it on…
THE MAN
The universe is full of teachers and messen-
gers. They come in many forms, and if you aren’t paying
attention, you might miss them. We got one in the Sol-
vent office recently, but this was not the kind you can re-
ally miss. This was a teacher, and the lesson was in the
value of extreme doubt. I always knew that doubt was
healthy, but extreme doubt that shreds the fabric of your
reality and casts you adrift, in isolation, forever trapped
in your own mind, was never something I considered to
be very helpful. Thankfully, when the lesson is doubt,
you can learn the lesson, while using it, to completely
discard it. My teacher entered the office unannounced,
held up a fiver, and as most excellent teachers do,
started asking really tough questions...
Man With No Name: Who does this represent?

Solvent: Wilfred Laurier

MWNN: You’re wrong.

S: Well who is it?

MWNN: I don’t know, he doesn’t have a name. What does that say?

S: Canada.

MWNN: You’re wrong on that too. Look, here’s the mint in Ottawa.
Now, back when they built the mint, nobody had a name, ever did
have a name, and the reason was, that’s the reason why, this is a
phony five dollar bill. Because nobody had a name, and this is not a
world. I don’t know what you call it, but it’s not a world.

S: Not a world eh? Do you think we are imagining ourselves being

here, or is someone else imagining us here?

MWNN: I don’t know.

S: I think I’m imagining it. I’m sure of it in fact. What is the context
in which I am imagining this? Can I imagine this world without ever
having been in it?

MWNN: It’s not a world. I don’t know what you call it. That’s what I’m
saying… because when this bill was printed, there was a government
that wasn’t elected. Nobody in parliament was elected. How could
people vote when they didn’t have names?

S: OK, in a nutshell, the problem that you are describing is the fact
that the world does not exist. Right?

MWNN: That’s right.

S: OK, what’s the solution to that problem?

MWNN: I don’t know.

S: Are you working on it?

MWNN: Of course.

S: Good. By the way, what is your name?

MWNN: Haven’t got one.

S: What’s the use of a name, when you don’t have a world eh?

MWNN: Now you’re catching on.

Unsuspecting Mormons stumble

into the Solvent office and ...
assume the missionary position.
15