IfItoldyouIwashungry,whatdoesthatmean?Isitanorderforyoutogetmefood?Isit simplyaconversationstarter?PerhapsImimplyinganoffertogetyousomefood.Orcoulditbea complainttogetattention? WhatifItookittoanotherlevel?WhatifIgotinanargumentwithafriendofmine?Whatdoes thatmean?Whatistakenfromthisinteraction?Whatislost?Coulditjustbemeaninglessbickeringoris itahidden,growingandseriousprobleminmyrelationship? Whatdoeslifemean?Whatsthemeaningoflife,thereasonforourexistence?Areweouthere todogoodandhelpothers?Coulditbetopassonourgenes?Maybesomeofusaremeantfora higherpurpose,andtherestofusarejusthere.Orperhapsweweremeanttofulfillourdesiresandjust liveourlife. TransactionalanalysiswasEricBernesattempttofindtheanswer. Transactionalanalysis,orsimplyknownasTA,isatheorydevelopedbypsychiatristanddoctor EricBerneonhumanpersonalityandcommunication.Itisascienceonwhywechoosetodothis,not that.Itquestionsandanswerswhywechoosegoodversusevil,moneyversusfreedom,andsomuch more.

Ittriestotakethecoverofftheblackboxofourmind,andfindoutwhywetalktoothers,what ourmotivesareandwhatareactionswillbe.Ittriestosortorderfromchaos:anattempttounderstand howwestructureourtimeandwhatwedothroughoutourlives.Itisastudy,asDr.Berneputit himself,onwhatdowesayafterwesayHello? TAisbasedonafewbasic,butbrilliant,ideas.Firstofall,everybodyhasthreefrequentlyused anddifferentpersonalitieswithinthem.Moreover,thesethreepersonalitiesareswitchedbetweenso frequentlyandfluidly,noonereallynotices,creatingtheappearanceofoneSelf.Anotherkeyideawas thatpeoplecommunicatethroughtransactionsthatfollowedeasilyrecognizablepatternswithvisible

motives.Withthesetransactionscomealongstrokes,whichhavetraditionallybeendescribedaswarm fuzziesandcoldpricklies.Also,peopleslivesarealsoplannedoutinrecognizablepatterns,allowing someonetotheoreticallybeabletopredictyourwholelife.Throughoutyourlife,therearetransactions allalongthewaythatmayservethegreaterpurposeofthelifeplan. Attherootoftransactionalanalysisistheideathateverybodyhasthreedifferentpersonalities. Fromthatideacamethewholetheoryoftransactionalanalysis.Andthatideaallstartedwithapatient andhistherapist,EricBerne. Thepatientwasacompetentandrationaladult,whichisabitofasurpriseseeinghewenttoa psychiatrist.However,everyonceinawhile,hewouldactoutofcharacter,andactimmature.Berne, thecleverpsychiatrist,askedthepatientaquestionthatmarkedthebirthoftransactionalanalysis:Is youradultorchildtalking? Thethreedifferentpersonalities,oregostates,parallelFreudsid,egoandsuperego.Freuds structuralmodeldescribesthethreepartsasdifferentlevelsofinstinctandselfcontrol,withtheid containinganimalisticdesiresandthesuperegocontaininghighmoralsandabeliefsystem.TAsthree egostatesarequitesimilar,yetnotablydifferentfromFreudspartsofthepsyche.Thethreeegostates areParent,AdultandChildandtheirfoundineverybody,whethertheyareaparent,adultorchild.TA alsostatesthateverybodymovesthroughthesestatessofreelyandsofrequentlythatwenormallydo notrecognizeit.Thisbecomesanimportantpointinusingtransactionalanalysistosolveproblemsand repairrelationships. Eachegostateisselfexplanatory.TheChildisapersonalitythatcomestoeveryoneintuitively. Itisapersonalityfosteredwhenapersonisjustachild,aroundtheagefourorfive.However,itbyno meansischildishorunwanted.Itsthefunandcreativesideofallofus.Itwantstoplaygames,make

friends,laughatjokesandallthosethingsyouwouldexpectacarefreechildtodo.AsEricBerne mentionedhimself,theChildisthemostimportantpartofus,anditsheretostayforourwholelife. TheAdultisarationalthinkingmachine.ThoughitdiffersgreatlyfromtheChild,itisjustas valuable.Withoutit,wecouldnotcrossthestreet,learnalanguage,orplayagameofchess.Sayagirl wantedtocallsomeoneonherphone.TheAdultcomesintoplaybyofferinginformationonwhereshe putherphone,whatherpasswordis,whatnumbertocallandsoon.TheroletheAdultplaysisjustas importantastheroletheChilddoes,whichwouldbemakingtheconversationondressshoppingwith herfriend.TheChildmaybethefunside,butwhenitcomestorationalthinkingandcalculations,the Adulthastohandleit. ThelastegostateistheParent.Thisstateisquiteinfluentialandinteresting,anditalsobecomes arootofmanyproblemsyoullencounterintransactionalanalysis.Whenachildisraised,theywill adopttheactsandbehaviorsoftheirparentsandothersuperiorsintothispersona.ThisParentfound withinallofusbecomesthevoiceofouractualparentstellingustodoourchores,bequietandnotto slamthedoor.WhentheParentactsindirectly,itsdirectingandcontrollingourChild.Justasyour parentstoldyoutoalwaysbuckleyourseatbeltasachild,yourParentwilltellyourChildtobuckleyour seatbelttoo.Thisfunctionisveryimportant,andwithoutit,lifewouldbeconsiderablyharder.Think whatwouldhappenifnoonetoldyouwhattodo.Youdhavetofigureouteverythingbyyourself,from thesmallestthingstodangerouslybigthings.Noonewouldbeabletoremindyoutolookbothways whencrossingthestreet,andwhenyouvelearnedbytrialanderror,youradmirableeffortswouldhave leftyouasastainonthepavement.TheParenttellsyouwhattodosoallthetrivialproblemsthatcan betakencareofare,workinginharmonywiththeAdult.Afterall,iftheAdulthadtosolveallthelittle problems,whosgoingtosolvethebigones?

TheParentalsohasanotherveryimportantfunction.Bymimickingyourownparents,they becomeabuiltinparentingmechanismforteachingyourownkidsaboutlife.Whenyouhaveyourown kids,thisegostatekicksinandworksonraisingyourkidsthebestwayyouknowhowto. Thethreeegostatescomeintoplayinonepersonallthetime.Forexample,takeAnneFrank. WhenshetalkstoPeter,shesusuallytalkingfromherChildpersonality.Shetriestoplayallsortsof gameswithhim,rangingfromwrestlingtostealinghisshoes.Whenshetalkstohermother,shealso resortstoherChildpersonality,talkingbacktoherandmakingquarrelswithhermultipletimes.She speakstoherfatherwithbothaChildandAdultpersonality,showinghowsheplayfullytalkswithher dadandoccasionallytreatshimasanequal. Intransactionalanalysis,thethreeegostatesareshowntogetherinachartlikeso.

Inthischart,thethreecirclesasawholerepresentsthewholeSelfofaperson.Thetopbubble holdstheParent,themiddletheAdult,andthebottomtheChild. Thesechartsareoccasionallyshowninpairssidebysidetoshowtransactionsbetweenpeople.

Andherewecometoakeypointtotransactionalanalysis:theactualtransactions.Whenever twopeopleinteract,thespeakfromoneoftheiregostates.Wecandrawlinesfromtheircurrent personalitytostudythepatternsoftheirtransaction. Transactionsareinteractionsbetweentwoormoreparties.Theyareusedtogainstrokes, whichareknownaswarmfuzziesandcoldpricklies.Theseareameasureofrecognition,andthey canbeeitherpositive,suchasaHi!orthankyou,ornegative,suchasDropdead!orYoure fat!Strokesareanecessity,seeingthatasaspecies,humansweremadetocommunicate. Thefirsttypeoftransactionisacomplementarytransaction.Itsasimple,directtransaction wherebothpeoplebetweentheirtwopersonalities.Forexample,inTheSecret,thenewsreporterand thescientistbothspeakfromtheirAdultegostate.ThenewsreporterspeaksfromhisAdultegostate tothescientistsAdultegostate,andthescientistspeaksfromhisegostatetothereportersAdultego state.Thisisacomplementarytransaction,andsinceitisso,itcancontinueonindefinitely.Ifyoudrew alinebetweenthetwochartsfromtheirrespectiveegostates,youwouldseetheywouldonlybe communicatingalongthatline. However,aretwoothertransactions,ulteriorandcrossed.Ulteriortransactionsoccurwhenthe transactiononthesurfaceisnotwhatitseemstobe.Aneasyexampleiswhentheresaninsidejoke.It
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mayappeartoabystanderthattwopeoplearecommunicatingbetweentheirAdultegostates,theyre actuallymakingajokeontheChildlevel.Crossedtransactionsaretransactionswhenthetwopartiestry tocommunicatewiththewrongegostate.Perhapsthebossaskedhisemployeeifhefinishedhis project.ThisisaperfectlyfineAdulttoAdulttransaction.However,theemployeecreatesacrossed transactionifhecrossesthelinedrawnfromtheAdultegostatesinthechart.Ifhedoesntfollowthe linethattheconversationwasbuiltupon,hecrossesitandcreatesacrossedtransaction.Sayhedecides torespondfromhisChildtohisbosssParentbycomplainingthathisbossisalwayspickingonhim. Crossedtransactions,bytheirnature,cannotcontinueindefinitelylikecomplementaryones,forcingthe bosstoeithershiftintohisParentmode,ortheemployeetogrowupandspeaksasanAdult. ThesetransactionscometogetherinRituals,Pastimesandmore.Therearesixtypesoftime structuringwithotherpeople.ThatwouldbeWithdrawal,Ritual,Pastimes,Activities,Gamesand Intimacies.Mostoftheseareeasytofollow.Withdrawaliswhenpeoplerefusetotalktoeachother, likeonabuswithstrangers.Ritualsarechoreographed,andperhapsmeaninglesstransactions,like sayinghitoyourneighboreverymorning.Pastimesarewhattheysoundlike:theypasstime.Usually theyrejustsmalltalk.Intimaciesarepersonalinteractionsbetweenpeople.Lastaregames,themain focusoftransactionalanalysis.Gamesarethemainfocusoftransactionalanalysis.Theyarepatterns peoplefollowwheretheirmotiveisnotclearlyunderstooduntilthelastmove.SaythegameIfit WasntForYou.EricBernegivesawonderfulexplanationofitinhisbookGamesPeoplePlay. Mrs.Whitecomplainedthatherhusbandseverelyrestrictedhersocialactivities,sothatshe hadneverlearnedtodance.Duetochangesinherattitudebroughtaboutpsychiatrictreatment, herhusbandbecamelesssureofhimselfandmoreindulgent.Mrs.Whitewasthenfreeto enlargethescopeofheractivities.Shesignedupfordancingclasses,andthendiscoveredtoher

despairthatshehadamorbidhearofdancefloorsandhadtoabandonthisproject.

Thisunfortunateadventure,alongwithsimilarones,laidoutsomeimportantaspectsofher marriage.Outofhermanysuitors,shehadpickedadomineeringmanforahusband.Shewas theninapositiontocomplainthatshecoulddoallsortsofthingsitifwerentforyou.Manyof herwomenfriendshaddomineeringhusbands,andwhentheymetfortheirmorningcoffee,they spentagooddealoftimeplayingIfItWerentForHim.

Asitturnedout,however,contrarytohercomplaints,herhusbandwasperformingaveryreal serviceforherbyforbiddinghertodosomethingshewasdeeplyafraidof,andbypreventing her,infact,fromevenbecomingawareofherfears.Thiswasonereason[she]hadchosen suchahusband...

BothMr.andMrs.Whiteareparticipatinginagametheyarenotconsciouslyawareoftheir activeparticipation.Aswithanygame,atleastonepartymustachieveapayoffforthegame toproceed.Inthisgame,Mrs.White,andtoalesserdegreeMr.Whiteachievetheirrespective payoffs.InMr.Whitescase,byrestrictingMrs.Whitesactivities,hecanretaintheroleof domineeringhusband,whichprovideshimcomfortwhenthingsdonotnecessarilygohisway.

Mrs.Whiteobtainsherpayoffatmanylevels.Onthepsychologicallevel,therestrictions imposedbyMr.WhitepreventMrs.Whitefromexperiencingneuroticfearsorbeingplacedin phobicsituations.ByhavingMr.Whitepreventherfrombeingplacedinthesesituations,Mrs.

Whitedoesnothavetoacknowledge(orevenbeawareof)herfears.Onthesociallevel,Mrs. Whitespayoffisthatshecansayifitwerentforyou.Thishelpstostructurethetimeshe mustspendwithherhusband,aswellasthetimespentwithouthim.Inaddition,itallowsherto sayifitwerentforhimwithfriends.

Aswithanygame,itcomestoanabruptendwhenoneplayerdecides(usuallyunconsciously) tostopplaying.Ifinstead,Mr.WhitesaidGoaheadinsteadofDontyoudare,Mrs.White losesherpayoff.Shecannolongersayifitwerentforyouandthenmustgooutandconfront herfears.Bycontinuingtoplaythisgame,eachparticipantreceiveshisorherpayoff,butthe priceisamarriagewithseriousproblems. GamesPeoplePlay(pulledfromhttp://www.ericberne.com/gamespeopleplay/)

InthisexcerptfromEricBernesbook,weseehowthegameIfItWerentForYouworks. Thisgameinvolvesthewifeputtingonanactofbeingoppressedbyherhusband,givingherachanceto complainaboutit.Hermotive,revealedinthisexcerpt,wasnotonlytohavesomethingtocomplain about,buttoprotectherfromdoingthethingsshewouldntwanttodo. Allgamesfollowasimilarpattern.Theplayersgointoatransactionwhereatleastoneofthem haveanulteriormotive.Thatisaveryimportantparttothegame.Thisulteriormotiveisnotrevealed untiltheswitchismade,wheretheplayerinthegamesuddenlychangesdirectionandreapsthe reward.InIfitWerentForYou,thewifeistheplayerwhopullstheswitch,andhermotivesare apparentifproperlyanalyzed. Thisisaverysimplegame,andtherearemanylikeit.EricBernestudiedandnamedmany,such

asAlcoholic,NowIveGotYou,YouSonofa*****,SeeWhatYouMadeMeDoandmany more. Butwhatarethepayoffsofallthesegames?Theyallseemverynegativejustfromthesightof theirnames.Therecouldntbeanythinggoodfromthesegames,couldthere? Herewefindracketsandtradingstamps.Tradingstampsarerecordsapersonbuildsovertime tojustifytheiractions.Perhapstheresadepressed,suicidalteenager.Allheneedsisapush,ashove, aninsultandhecanusethattojustifyslittinghiswrists.Gamescanfillupbooksoftradingstamps, allowingsomeonetojustifymanyactionstheywilltakethroughouttheirlife.Racketsareexaggerated feelingswhichallowonetocheatupwhentheygetangryorsomethingelse.Thisissimilartotrading stampsinthattheycanusegamesasajustificationforthem. Thesegamesallcometogetherintoanevenbiggerpicture.Likepiecesofapuzzle,theyforma personslife.Ifthesmallestinteractionsinoneslifecanfitintoapattern,couldtheirwholelife,beingan accumulationofsmallinteractions,fitintoageneralpattern?Itcan,anditsknownasthescript. Thescriptisasetofdecisionsaboutwhatsomeonedoeswithherlife.Itisnotadecisionlike,I wanttobeaveterinarianwhenIgrowupitsmuchmoregeneral.Ascriptcouldbethatyoutryyour hardest,dieandeveryonewillfeelsorryforyou.Thisistheultimatetimestructuringtool.Itservesthe samepurposeastheParent:ittellsuswhattodo. Ourparentsraiseusaschildren.Fromallthetransactionsandgamesachildseesintheirfirstsix years,shewillbegintounconsciouslycreateascriptfortherestofherlife.Thefrighteningthingisthata sixyearoldispoorlyequippedtounderstandtheworld.Fromtheagesix,achildwillknowwhether shellburnupinflamesorbecomeagod.Dependingonthescript,thechildmightgrowuphappilyever afterundertheillusionoffreewill,ormeetadarkerendingwithouteverknowingthatsheplanneditall

along.Forbetterorworse,thescriptcouldalsobebroken,andthefreechildwilltrytostrikeouton herown. Scriptsarebuiltaroundinjunctions.Thesearedirectcommands(Dropdead!)andindirect commands(ImgoingtoignoreyoubutbecomeinterestedeverytimeIhearaboutsomeonesdeath) givenbytheirparents.Childrenpickuponthesethings,eveniftheyarentmeantliterally.Theycould comeintheformofparentalinfluences,rolemodelsandculturalbackgrounds.Injunctionsmightbe createdbecausethesamefairytalewastoldeverynight,theproudgreatgrandfathersragstoriches storywastoldtoomanytimes,andtheShrekmovie.Injunctionscancomefromanywhere.Luckily, manyinjunctionsarentnegative,andtheymustberepeatedmanytimestotakehold. Whentheinjunctionsaresetandthescripttakeshold,wecanseparatetheminthreegroups: loser,nonwinnerandwinner.Loserscriptsarescriptswheretheheroslifeendsintragedy.Winner scriptsarescriptswheretheherowins,slaysthebeastandridesoffintothesunset.Nonwinnerscripts arescriptswheretheherobreaksevenandstaysinthemiddle.Obviouslyaloserscriptisundesirable, butonawhole,scriptsarentagoodthing.Withscripts,everybodylosesasenseofindependenceand autonomy,andlosesfreewill. Sohowdoyoubreakoutofascript?Thetransactionalanalysthasagrandtaskbeforehim.He mustgothroughthepatientshistory,searchingforforthescriptanditsinjunctions.Thiscouldbequite afeat,forusuallytheinjunctionsaregivenatanearlyage,whichcouldhaveleftnorecords.However,if thetransactionalanalystiscompetentenough,hewillfindthescriptandconfrontit.Tobreakthescript, hemustgivepermission.Simplyforcingthepatienttobreakhisscriptiscounterproductiveyoure takingabithisfreewillandautonomyinanattempttorestoreit.Youhavetogivehimthechoiceto breakthescript,andwhenheaccepts,youwillneedtoprovidepower,supportandprotection.Hewill

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betheonlythingkeepingthepatientfromfallingbackintohisscript,andifhedoes,thepatientwillno longerbeapatient,butahealthyperson. Whatistransactionalanalysis?Itisascienceofthehumanmind.Itisascienceonwhatwedo fromaneverydaybasis.Itisascience,asEricBernehimselfsaid,aboutwhatwesayafterHello?

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Bibliography Berne,Eric.WhatDoYouSayafterYouSayHello?:ThePsychologyofHumanDestiny.New York:Grove,1972.Print. Berne,Eric.GamesPeoplePlay:ThePsychologyofHumanRelationships.NewYork:Grove, 1964.Print. "TransactionalAnalysis."Wikipedia.WikimediaFoundation,20Mar.2013.Web.21Mar.2013. Calcaterra,NicholasB."EricBerne|AuthorofGamesPeoplePlayandTransactionalAnalysis Creator."EricBerneMD.N.p.,n.d.Web.21Mar.2013.

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