Вы находитесь на странице: 1из 10

MY SPIRITUAL JOURNEY- A PERSONAL TESTIMONY INTRODUCTION: And they overcame him, by the blood of the Lamb and by the

word of their testimony... ~Revelation 12:11~ For the past five months or so, Ive been feeling the leading to write and to share my personal testimony of Salvation. What is a testimony of Salvation....some might ask? Well, it is a personal account of how one is wooed by the Holy Spirit to draw near to our Heavenly Father, as sin separates us from Him. The only person who bridges the gap in making this happen, through our confession and repentance, is Jesus The Saviour... whose name is Yahushua in the Hebrew language, meaning YAH Saves. Salvation is a process and a journey; and incorporated in the process is Restoration.... or, returning to a former position... such as a dilapidated but once valuable building, designed by a notable architect, being salvaged so that it can be restored to its original form, appearance and character. No one is currently fully saved as Scripture states that only those who endure to the end shall be saved. ~Matthew 24:13~ Let me say from the onset, that some of what I will share here, may offend many of you who will read this. While it is not my intention to offend anyone, I do need to be truthful and honest in this account. That said, I will be writing this testimony in three (3) parts, as there are literally three phases to it, leading up to where Im currently at. I parallel my Salvation/Restoration journey with that of Israels Exodus or their coming out from Egypt.... in that, for them to reach their final destination, they had to cross over two bodies of water; the Red Sea, which led them into the wilderness and the Jordan which eventually led them into the Promised Land. (If youd like to know more on this account, have a look at the first six books of the Bible... Genesis through Joshua). As you read my testimony, youll understand why I use the Exodus account as a parallel to my journey. Ive decided to tag a number of persons in this note; something I dont usually do. If however you do not wish to be tagged, please feel free to un-tag yourself and kindly accept my apologies for tagging you. To the rest of you who choose to read on, hope you are blessed by my story, and thanks in advance for taking the time to journey with me......

PART 1: A little about me/ My Introduction to God/ Growing up Catholic I have decided to begin by giving a brief synopsis of myself in terms of my genealogy... as I believe, based on the numerous genealogies listed throughout scripture, that knowledge of where one comes from, plays an important role in understanding (to some degree), who we are as individuals. For example, the book of Matthew opens with seventeen verses documenting the genealogy of Jesus/Yahushua... revealing to us His lineage and His generations. I was born Carla Louis on the island of Trinidad in the West Indies, 45 years ago. I am the fourth child to my parents. My father (deceased) was born in Venezuela, though he lived in Trinidad most of his life. His maternal family was from Barbados and were descendants of African slaves brought to the West Indies via the Trans-Atlantic slave trade. He was an astute businessman who excelled academically, particularly in the field of Mathematics. He was also cousin to the legendary West Indian cricketer Sir Frank Worrell. My mothers paternal grandfather was from Martinique, but eventually settled in Trinidad. From what I know, he was the son of a slave and French plantation owner... hence my French surname Louis, as I took my mothers name. The gifts of music and culinary arts have been passed down through this lineage. Her maternal grandmother was from India, and arrived by boat on the shores of Barbados. There she met my great-grandfather, a Scottish missionary of the Cameron clan. They both moved to Trinidad where they married. My grandmother was an offspring of this union. Many left handers, including myself, have descended from this side of the family and many have been blessed with the gifts of arts and creativity. So, now that you know a little about me, my genealogical mix, and the movement of my ancestors from different parts of the world to the West Indies/Caribbean isles, let me proceed along the journey of how I came to know and develop a relationship with the God of the Universe... who I will now refer to as YHWH from here on out, and His Son as Yshua. I first became aware of YHWH at an early age. I remember one time when I was seven or eight, gazing into the blue sky.....wondering to myself if He was real and if He lived somewhere beyond the clouds. I tried to envision Him in my minds eye. I believe at that time, I even spoke with Him in my heart. Then there were times when I heard the roaring of thunder. I used to get very afraid. My familys housekeeper at the time would tell us kids that YHWH was angry and that the noise of the thunder was Him moving His chair... As innocent and as childlike as that sounds, these were vivid memories for me, and became the beginning stages of my introduction to Him.

I pretty much grew up Catholic. I attended Catholic schools, participated in Mass, was baptized as a baby, confirmed as a teenager, prayed the rosary regularly, wore a scapular around my neck for protection, did a couple life in the Spirit seminars, belonged to a legion of Mary prayer group, and believe it or not, even considered becoming a nun!... But even with all that, somehow, things didnt add up for me in the Catholic church. I had questions....lots of them! One major issue for me was confession... I thought to myself, why do I need to confess my sins to a man, when I could go directly to YHWH?? Another thing that seemed odd, was that every year in the month of May, students at the Convent I attended, had to walk in the blistering heat outdoors, around a statue of Mary. We would walk around it several times, singing songs unto her and praying the rosary. I just never got that... To me, this made absolutely no sense. Why worship a statue like this?... or why worship a statue at all?? Wasnt it just an inanimate object?? Still, there were many other activities within the religion in which I participated. But they all proved to raise more and more questions in my mind. Sadly, I always felt like this was my religious fate in life, ...being stuck in the Catholic Church.... because for some odd reason, I viewed it as THE CHURCH. And so I needed to just accept what my perceived reality of it was, and keep moving along.... Looking back now I could say that lack of knowledge really brings ignorance....in that all I was doing was blindly and foolishly following a religion in spite of all the questions I had. Over the years though, it eventually waned for me. I stopped attending mass completely as I just couldnt do it anymore. It was boring, it was dead.... and half the time I couldnt even understand what any of the Priests were saying, mainly due to poor articulation on their part, thereby failing to hold my attention. And so....I decided, thats it!.. Im done! However, thats not to say there wasnt a continuing awareness of YHWH within me. I was still very conscious of Him; I just couldnt do the religion anymore.... .... and there began my 1st coming out.... or as I stated earlier, my Red Sea crossing... exiting my Egypt and leaving the Catholic church behind, so to speak... Years went by and I guess you could say I had no religion. But I wasnt too bothered by it, because somehow I knew YHWH was with me guiding me along the way.

PART 2 (A): Becoming Born Again/ The Christian Church During the next few years, which would have been my early 20s, life happened as they say. I limed (Trinidad slang for hanging out), partied, played carnival,... basically had a good time. I didnt consider myself as being a bad person though. I never did drugs or anything like that. I was always a nice girl as far as I was concerned :) However, there remained that spiritual drought in my life that I didnt know how to fill.... nor was I avidly seeking to fill it at that time anyway. I was too busy liming and partying..... Then, when I was about 28, my youngest sister got very ill, close to death. We could not determine her illness nor could the doctors. Long story short, she got invited to a Christian church....(or as its called locally, small church) for a deliverance service; and in desperation, she went. As she puts it, she was miraculously healed and delivered! All visible symptoms of her illness disappeared, to which she was understandably ecstatic! I was very happy for her also, but I wasnt quite prepared for what was about to happen after that. She became obsessed with YHWH and the Bible. Morning, evening and night....shed be at it... reading, speaking, yapping... did I mention yapping?? It was driving me nuts! I almost couldnt take it anymore! Mind you, its not that I was anti-YHWH or anything like that... its just that I felt she needed to strike a balance between her new found faith and normal everyday living..... at least, so I thought.... But strangely, in the midst of her obsession, she gave me a Bible.....not that I didnt already own one. But somehow, when I began reading it, something happened... I just couldnt put it down. I kept reading and reading. I would wake in the middle of the night just to read. It was as if understanding was being poured into me like a flood. The more I read, the more I wanted to read. For the first time ever, I was actually understanding the Bible!! I guess in looking back now, I could say two things.. (1) perhaps I had reached a point where I was ready to surrender my life to YHWH.... and thats why the Holy Spirit opened my understanding,.. and (2) my sisters words, as annoying as she was, obviously stayed within my subconscious mind. So, in light of this new knowledge and understanding, I remember waking one morning, with a very strong conviction that I needed to find a church. I also had a deep sense that the days for my spiritual drought were coming to an end! Another long story short, YHWH led me to a church.... and on Friday the 13th of June 1997, almost seventeen years ago, with all sincerity of heart, I confessed and repented from my sins and invited Jesus/Yshua into my heart! I was born again!!..... a term Id heard before, but didnt really know what it meant until I actually saw it in Scripture. For those who dont know, it is when ones spirit is renewed and regenerated by the Holy Spirit..... being born anew, not of the flesh, but of the Spirit of the Living GOD! (If you want to read more on this, have a look at John 3:1-7)

PART 2 (B): Becoming Born Again/ The Christian Church So I began attending this church regularly, becoming a member and all. Things were great! I was completely on fire for YHWH,... learning and growing in the Word, yet all the while still doing my own personal studies,... developing my new relationship with Him, like a child with a new friend. As time went by, I got very involved in the church... partaking in many activities; singing on the worship team, leading the dance ministry.... getting very busy. At one point, I was at the church four to five days a week, usually for different activities or practices. While all that seemed nice, I still continued on in my personal studies... because for me, the most important thing was my relationship with Him and getting to know Him more. I was hungry for Him... and I found that the more I studied the Bible, especially the Old Testament, (which Ill refer to as the Law and the Prophets), the more I began to understand His character, His personality, His ways. I was being drawn closer to Him through my studies! Therefore, I became an avid student of Scripture, spending hundreds of hours in my prayer closet, worshipping, praying, studying... and then studying some more. (Now, in case youre wondering how I found the time to do all this studying?.. well, I made time,....as this was THAT important to me. Plus, thankfully, due to other circumstances, YHWH afforded me the time during this 4-5 year period). I felt that to further help my understanding, I needed to examine the original Hebrew and Greek texts from where the English was derived. So I developed the habit of looking up words; and this became the norm for me, in terms of how I studied. This method brought unbelievable depth to my understanding as it expounded the Scriptures, helping me to properly interpret them within context; not from a Westernized perspective, but with a Hebrew mind. I also felt that I needed to know History. So, I began studying and researching church history, Israels history, the history and timing of the Bible, noting when each book was written, researching authors, examining the cultural background, etc., etc.,.. I studied Geography as well... memorizing maps of the Middle East and parts of the Northeast African region, as this was the land of the Bible. Then Science came in...though Im no science person, but it was in all these areas of study that the Holy Spirit was leading me....Physics and Quantum Physics, ....all sorts of studies.... areas I was not very knowledgeable in. But again, this was all driven by my desire, my passion and my zeal for YHWH... to love Him more, to know Him more, and to draw closer to Him....

So, somewhere during this period, a profound thing happened. YHWH had me study out a particular account from the book of Daniel, chapter 4, especially verse 15... which reads: Nevertheless leave the stump of his roots in the earth, even with a band of iron and brass, in the tender grass of the field; and let it be wet with the dew of heaven, and let his portion be with the beasts in the grass of the earth.. After closely examining this Scripture, and linking it with the image of chapter 2 verses 31-43, what I understood it to mean was that the stump (including the roots) of the tree called Babylon, was still existing in the earth today, but was being disguised by Greece and Rome. ....meaning that these two Ancient Kingdoms, were/are greatly influencing the worlds systems and structures... be it political, economic, religious, educational, financial, social, cultural, etc.. However, ideally, it was and still is Babylon... a word that ironically means confusion, or confusion by mixing. As significant as this prophecy and shadow picture was, I didnt fully grasp the potency of its meaning at the time.... but I kept it in the back of my mind. Then around 2001-2002, I was totally convinced that something was drastically wrong with the church....and when I say church, I mean the global Christian church at large.... (not specifically the local assembly I was attending). I say this because it became rather obvious from my studies, that much of what I was reading and learning, just simply did not reconcile with what I was actually seeing. So, I asked YHWH what was wrong,... and He answered me through a vision.. where it felt like I was elevated in the Spirit above ground, able to view the global church from that aerial perspective. Then, as though pointing specific things out to me, He said, look at this, look at that ....what do you see? Sadly, but honestly, what I saw was lots of marketing and merchandising taking place; self promoting ministers and false prophets, twisting the Word and using their skewed interpretations of it, to manipulate the masses into giving money. Lots of unbiblical prosperity preaching, and ministers, preachers, pastors and televangelists, living lavish, extravagant lifestyles.... (again of course, not everyone). But, for the most part, Christianity was all about money, money and more money! It was a strategically run business..... thats what I saw. More importantly though, because of the church history I studied, I also saw that the Roman Catholic church was playing an ENORMOUS role in the matrix, in that it was responsible for changing YHWHs calendar, His laws and His instructions; and that Protestants, or basically every Christian denomination (the thousands of them), though not directly linked to Rome or the Vatican, were in actuality, very much linked through various customs, beliefs and practices they still held to!

Shockingly, I saw that the Christian church (all denominations), was nothing more than an offspring or a daughter of the Roman Catholic church...Thats what I saw..... (and again, I dont mean to offend anyone here). There began my awakening by the Spirit of YHWH... an awakening to further truths; an awakening to a rich Hebrew/Israelite heritage of which I knew little about, although I was grafted into the Commonwealth of Israel through the blood of Yshua (Ephesians 2:1113); an awakening to the reality of the condition of the church; an awakening to the adversarys clever plan to deceive millions of people with false doctrines, specifically the one which said that YHWHs Law was done away with; an awakening to the reality that the stump of the tree Babylon was still very present in the earth today... .....And thats when the Scripture from Daniel came back to me!.... thats when it all made sense! Thats when I realized the problem within the church... that it was in a state of confusion, because it departed from YHWHs path by mixing His Holiness with paganism, profanities and lies. Yes....Babylon the great ...still very present in the earth today,... disguised by Greco/Roman window-dressing... but ideally, still the same old Babylon or Babel, from thousands of years back.... No wonder YHWH said in Revelation 18:4, that His people needed to come out of her and stop partaking of her sins.... No wonder Yshua conveyed His thoughts about the idea of mixing when He said in Revelation 3:16, that He preferred the people be either hot or cold....not lukewarm.. otherwise He would spit/vomit them out of His mouth! Yes!! Very harsh language coming from our Saviour, the Lamb who was slain. BUT, Hes also the Roaring Lion of Judah who shall cause all the inhabitants of the earth to tremble at His coming!!.. (something to consider).... So, what happened to me next?? Well, YHWH began showing me the Ancient Path.... His true, un-corrupted path....the path the Patriarchs walked....the path both Yshua and His disciples walked...the path that got hijacked, but the path I needed to return to...... ...And so, there began my 2nd coming out.... this time from the wilderness...the Christian church...or my Jordan crossing as I now call it.... I felt like I was being born again....Again!.. but in a deeper sense....

PART 3: Being Awakened into a New Reality- A Hebrew/Israelite Reality As I begin sharing with you the 3rd and final phase of this journey, Id like to say a few things. First of all, I think I should make it clear that I am in no way damning the Catholic/Christian church bridge that Ive crossed.... Not at all. Im very grateful for the time spent in these two institutions, because I did learn.. But sadly the truth is that I learned a whole lot more when I left; plus, I had to un-learn a few things. However, I do recognize that YHWH used it to draw me closer to Him. If it werent for my passing through the church system (as I now call it), I would not have been awakened today. I do believe that He continues to allow the system to exist though, to test hearts; to see who will love Him and obey His commands, just as He tested Israel in the wilderness... as He says in Deuteronomy 8:2..... And you shall remember that YHWH your Elohim led you all the way these forty years in the wilderness, to humble you and test you, to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not. He uses the church (and I believe all other religions as well), as a tool to see who will genuinely seek Him and search Him out,... to search for Truth. But I believe were meant to continue moving forward on the journey and not get too comfortable where we plateau, or stagnate along the way.. My next point is this.. Even though Ive done a lot of studying, I am in no way professing to know everything, because I most certainly dont. On the contrary.... what I found was that the more I studied and learnt, the more I realized how little I really knew. It was and continues to be a sobering experience for me..... Then, Ive also had times when the adversary sought to derail me from the path. But, with all of lifes challenges, (and thereve been MANY), Ive managed, through the help of the Holy Spirit, to continually rise above them and keep pressing forward.. So, having crossed my Jordan like Israel did, I saw where my heart needed further circumcision (Joshua 5:1-9). Therefore, I willingly embraced the process, because I recognized the necessity of it, being on this new, yet Ancient Path. New for me,... but it certainly was not NEW..... neither was it Jewish as some might think. I emphasize this point because of the misconception that exists about the identity of Israel... which was another important revelation I received through study. Yes, theres a land called Israel....yes, there are people who live in it called Israelis, and those all over the world called Jews. But the truth is that Jews do not make up all of

Israel, as there are eleven other tribes to consider. Jews come from only one of the twelve tribes,... the tribe of Judah (see Genesis 49). Not only that, but Scripture goes further to describe two fundamental attributes that the remnant of Israel, or what Ill call Redeemed Israel have... whether natural born or foreigner/grafted in.... and its this (see Revelation 12:17): (1) They keep the commandments of YHWH, which is the Law/Torah of Moses. (2) They have the testimony of Yshua,.. meaning they have embraced and accepted Yshua as Messiah. But having this testimony is to also have the Spirit of Prophecy (Revelation 19:10).... which means that they understand the words of the Prophets of old, the things they spoke of... the things to come... the events that Yshuas life fulfilled, and those that He will fulfill at His return... So although most Jews keep the Law of Moses, Judaism for the most part, is their religion. And although Christians have accepted Yshua as Messiah, they believe that the Law of Moses is not applicable to them, only Jews. This phenomena is quite astounding.... because when one follows the history of Israel after the death of King Solomon, one can see that the nation was divided into two groups who became known as Ephraim (10 tribes) and Judah (2 tribes...) or the Northern & Southern Kingdoms (1 Kings 11:29-43; 12:1-24). Prophetically speaking though, there is a shadow and parallel picture between these two groups/kingdoms, to both Judaism and Christianity,... in that each has one of the two previously mentioned attributes, but neither has both. And so, we can see from Scripture, that it is indeed YHWHs plan to fully restore the whole house of Israel again (Amos 9:11+12; Acts 15:15-17)..... BUT, with all of its citizenry fully embracing BOTH the Law/Torah of Moses, AND Yshua The Messiah. This Restoration process has already begun.... because at the end, according to Revelation 21:12, there are only going to be 12 gates to enter into the holy city, the New Jerusalem... And these 12 gates will have written on them, the names of the 12 Tribes of Israel... NOT any Christian denomination or religion.... The reason I bring all of this up is to show that I did not exit the Christian church to convert to Judaism, neither to place myself under a yoke of bondage having embraced the Law... as some have thought. In fact, what I will say is that obedience to the Law/Torah, has actually brought freedom, not bondage!.... However, what I found happening to me being on this path, was that I had the desire from the Holy Spirit, to start observing the Sabbath, to start keeping the Feasts....which are YHWHs Holy Feasts, NOT Jewish feasts (Leviticus 23),... and basically, to fully embrace the Law/Torah (the first five books of the Bible); recognizing that in so doing, it

completes or makes whole, my citizenship as one who belongs to the Commonwealth of Redeemed Israel. So, thats where Im currently at on this journey..... walking in Torah and walking in the Spirit.... Seeking to further understand His ways, sifting and sorting out information, while prayerfully continuing to discern truth from error. Have I reached my final destination on this path?? A resounding NO! There are still many areas in which I fall short, and there are still many topics of study in which I dont fully understand. But, as I continue to allow my heart to becircumcised on this side of the Jordan, I stand on the outskirts of the Promised Land, praying that Ill be found worthy to enter in. Finally, as I close, it would be amiss of me to not mention this... but, ever since my early days of being born again, there was always a stirring within me concerning the End Times. Although back then I knew absolutely NOTHING about the topic, the stirring continued in me. However, with the studies Ive done over the years, YHWH has since given me insight and understanding concerning these matters.... and what Id like to say is that Im fully convinced that we are quickly approaching the second return of Messiah Yshua! The reason I bring this up is to encourage everyone who has read up to this point, to come out of this Babylonian system in which we live,..and to stop mixing His holiness with paganism, (if you are). Seek the El of Israel like never before!.... because the time is indeed short and judgement is indeed sure..... (as I know we can all sense, just by seeing whats happening in the world around us).

CLOSING REMARKS: Well friends, thank you all for taking the time to journey with me. I know that this has been long...even though I could have easily written another 5000 words or so, as there is so much more I can share :) But I think what Ive highlighted here, is what the Holy Spirit wanted me to share. Ill close by saying that my prayer for us all, is that well be counted worthy by the Lamb, to have our names written in His Book of Life. May we all stay on the straight and narrow path.... the path of Righteousness.... the path of Holiness,.. and the path that leads to His Kingdom. Shalom, Shalom!

Оценить