Raise Your Self Esteem

Twelve Valuable Steps to Raise Your Self Esteem As adults, we can choose the messages we accept or reject. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission." Building high self esteem is a process, not something you can develop overnight," says !effrey "eller. "#et, $ %elieve every person has the capacity of high self esteem. &he 'uestion is, are you ready to make a commitment to increase your self esteem(" If your answer is yes, here are 12 steps to get you started Step ne )top comparing yourself with other people. &here will always %e some people who have more than you and some who have less. $f you play the comparison game, you*ll run into too many "opponents" you can*t defeat. Step Two )top putting yourself down. #ou can*t develop high self esteem if you repeat negative phrases a%out yourself and your a%ilities. +hether speaking a%out your appearances, your career, your relationships, your financial situation, or any other aspects of your life, avoid self deprecating comments. Step Three Accept all compliments with "thank you." Ever received a compliment and replied," ,h, it was nothing." +hen you reject a compliment, the message you give yourself is that you are not worthy of praise. Respond to all compliments with a simple &hank #ou."

Step !our -se affirmations to enhance your self esteem. ,n the %ack of a %usiness card or small inde. card, write out a statement such as "$ like and accept my self." or "$ am valua%le, lova%le person and deserve the %est in life." /arry the card with you. Repeat the statement several times during the day, especially at night %efore going to %ed and after getting up in the morning. +henever you say the affirmation, allow yourself to e.perience positive feelings a%out your statement. Step !ive &ake advantage of workshops, %ooks and cassette tape programs on self esteem. +hatever material you allow to dominate mind will eventually take root and affect your %ehavior. $f you watch negative television programs or read newspaper reports of murders and %usiness rip off0 you will grow cynical and pessimistic. )imilarly, if you read %ooks or listen to programs, that are positive in nature, you will take on these characteristics. Step Si" Associate with positive, supportive people. +hen you are surrounded %y negative people who constantly put you and your ideas down, your self esteem is lowered. ,n the other hand, when you are accepted and encouraged, you feel %etter a%out yourself in the %est possi%le environment to raise your self esteem. Step Seven 1ake a list of your past successes. &his doesn*t necessarily have to consist of monumental accomplishments. $t can include your "minor victories," like learning to skate, graduating from high school, receiving an award or promotion, reaching a %usiness goal, etc. Read this list often. +hile reviewing it, close your eyes and recreate the feelings of satisfaction and joy you e.perienced when you first attained each success. Step Eight 1ake a list of your positive 'ualities. Are you honest( -nselfish( 2elpful( /reative( Be generous with yourself and write down at least 34 positive 'ualities. Again, it*s important to review this list often. 1ost people dwell on their inade'uacies and then wonder why their life isn*t working out. )tart focusing on your positive traits and you*ll stand a much %etter chance of achieving what you wish to achieve.

Step #ine )tart giving more. $*m not talking a%out money. Rather, $ mean that you must %egin to give more of yourself to those around your. +hen you do things for others, you are making a positive contri%ution and you %egin to feel more valua%le, which, in turn, lifts your spirits and raises your own self esteem. Step Ten 5et involved in work and activities you love. $t*s hard to feel good a%out yourself if your days are spent in work you despise. )elf esteem flourishes when you are engaged in work and activities that you enjoy and make you feel valua%le. Even if you can*t e.plore alternative career options at the present time, you can still devote leisure time to ho%%ies and activities, which you find stimulating and enjoya%le. Step Eleven Be true to yourself. 6ive your own life not the life others have decided is %est for you. #ou*ll never gain your own respect and feel good a%out yourself if you aren*t leading the life you want to lead. $f you*re making decisions %ased on getting approval from friends and relatives, you aren*t %eing true to yourself and your self esteem is lowered. Step Twelve &ake action7 #ou won*t develop high self esteem if you sit on the sidelines and %ack away from challenges. +hen you take action you*ll %e frustrated and unhappy your self esteem. &he "real you" is a magnificent, uni'ue %eing with enormous potential and capacity for e.periencing love of yourself and e.tending love to others. As your self esteem grows, this "real you" emerges. #ou %egin to take more risks and not %e afraid of failure0 you aren*t as concerned with getting approval of others0 your relationships are much more rewarding0 you pursue activities that %ring you joy and satisfaction0 and you will make a positive contri%ution to the world. 1ost importantly, high self esteem %rings you peace of mind .when you*re alone, you truly appreciate the person you*re with yourself. regardless of the ensuing result you feel %etter a%out yourself. +hen you fail to move forward %ecause of fear and an.iety, and you will undou%tedly deal a damaging %low to