Question: "What is the difference between dating and courting?

" Answer: Dating and courtship are two methods of beginning relationships with the opposite sex. While there are non-Christians who date with the intention of having a series of intimate physical relationships, for the Christian this is not acceptable and should never be the reason for dating. Many Christians see dating as little more than friendship and maintain the friendship aspect of their dating until both people are ready to commit to each another as potential marriage partners. First and foremost, dating is a time when a Christian finds out if his or her potential marriage partner is also a believer in Christ. The Bible warns us that believers and unbelievers should not marry each other, because those living in the light (of Christ) and those living in the darkness cannot live in harmony (2 Corinthians 6:14-15). As stated before, during this time there should be little or no physical contact, as this is something that should wait until marriage (1 Corinthians 6:18-20). Courtship takes the position that the two people have no physical contact at all (no touching, no handholding, no kissing) until marriage. Many in a courtship relationship will not spend any time together unless family members, preferably parents, are present at all times. In addition, courting couples state up front that their intentions are to see if the other person is a suitable potential marriage partner. Courtship advocates claim that courtship allows for the two people to truly get to know each other in a more platonic setting without the pressures of physical intimacy or emotions clouding their view. There are problems inherent with both styles. For daters, spending time alone with a member of the opposite sex whom we find attractive can present temptations that can be very hard to resist. The Christian dating couple must have boundaries in place and be committed to not crossing them. If they find this hard to do, they must take steps to ensure that Christ will always be honored during their time together and that sin is never given a chance to take hold of their relationship. Just as with the courting couple, the parents of the dating couple should be involved in the relationship, getting to know their childs companion and being a source of wise and discerning advice and guidance for both of them. Of course, the courtship style presents its own set of difficulties. While many courtship advocates see it as the only choice for finding a mate, others find it oppressive and overly controlling. In addition, it can be hard to find the real person behind the public face presented in front of the entire family. No one is the same in a group setting as he or she is one-on-one. If a couple is never alone together, they never have that one-on-one opportunity to relate and get to know one another in emotional and spiritual intimacy. In addition, some courtship situations have led to borderline arranged marriages by the parents and have resulted in resentment in one or both of the young people. It is important to remember that neither dating nor courtship is mandated in Scripture. In the end, the Christian character and spiritual maturity of the couple is far more important than the exact nature of how and when they spend time together. Scripturally speaking, the result of the processgodly Christian men and women marrying and raising families to the glory of Godis far more important than the method they use to achieve that result. "Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God" (1 Corinthians 10:31, NKJV).

Finally, care must be taken to avoid the pitfall of believing ones personal preferencedating or courtingis the only way and looking down upon those who make the opposite choice. As in all things, the unity of the body of Christ should be of utmost importance in our minds, regardless of personal choices others make pertaining to issues on which the Bible is silent.

Dating and Courtship

In cultures where dating or courtship is acceptable, dating can help youth develop friendships and eventually find an eternal companion. Youth in the Church are taught to wait until at least age 16 to begin dating and to date only those who have high moral standards. A young man and a young woman on a date are responsible to help each other maintain their standards and to protect each other's honor and virtue. Additional Information For the Strength of Youth, a Church publication for young men and young women, contains the following counsel regarding dating: "Do not date until you are at least 16 years old. Dating before then can lead to immorality, limit the number of other young people you meet, and deprive you of experiences that will help you choose an eternal partner. "Not all teenagers need to date or even want to. Many young people do not date during their teen years because they are not yet interested, do not have opportunities, or simply want to delay forming serious relationships. However, good friendships can and should be developed at every age. "When you begin dating, go in groups or on double dates. Avoid going on frequent dates with the same person. Make sure your parents meet those you date. You may want to invite your dates to activities with your family. Plan dating activities that are positive and inexpensive and that will help you get to know each other. Do things that will help you and your companions maintain your self-respect and remain close to the Spirit of the Lord" ("Dating," 2425).

Courtship & Dating

By Buffy Naillon, eHow Contributor

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Courtship allows couples to know one another better before deciding on marriage.

Modern dating and courtship stem from the same historical roots. Both can serve as a way for people to attract a suitable marriage partner. However, each word implies something slightly different, and while one almost always leads to marriage, that is not necessarily the case with the other.
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History of Dating & Courtship

1. Identification
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According to Encyclopedia Britannica, societies that don't practice arranged marriage allow people to date to find marriage partners. It's a ritual that leads to courtship and eventually to marriage, if it's successful.

History
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According to the Vertical Thought website, dating emerged from the traditions of arranged marriages and courtship. While people in modern times associate marriage with romantic love, that was not always the case. According to MSNBC.com, couples married for practical reasons. In colonial times, for example, people owned and worked farms, the upkeep of which required the manpower of the whole family, including the children. During these times, people found spouses through courtship, whose sole aim was marriage to produce children. Couples met regularly, but under the supervision of their families. "Unsupervised" dating didn't exist. However, as couples began marrying for love, dating and courtship evolved. Dating became another step on the road to marriage, happening just before the courtship phase. Sponsored Links

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The Argument Against Dating

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Dating has gotten some backlash in religious circles. According to an article appearing on the Leadership U website, the replacement of courtship with dating is the seed of many of society's ills. The article maintains that problems like the high divorce rate could be reduced by returning to the practice of courtship. The article states that dating represents a time in which people are focused on themselves and in which they participate in physical/emotional intimacy without a concern for commitment. This can make the relationship unstable because once the relationship doesn't provide the instant gratification it once did, the people go their separate ways. This casual approach to a relationship doesn't allow the couple to get to know one another and to develop their communication skills, something that counselors recommend for lasting marriages.

Considerations
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However, traditional courtship as espoused by its modern proponents has its drawbacks, according to the Got Questions website. While the goal of courtship is to develop a friendship with a prospective marriage partner, couples in these situations often find it difficult to get to know one another. People tend to be on their best behavior around their families---the chaperones in the traditional courtship. They sometimes become different people when alone with one another. Additionally, dating relationships don't always end as the Leadership U article argues; they often result in courtship and marriage.

Solution
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Marriage has evolved to meet the demands of its modern participants. While some may wish to return to the days of chaperoned courtship, the desire that all people in modern society will revert back to these practices probably isn't realistic. Additionally, according to the Mayo Clinic, modern couples have other tools like premarital counseling to assist them on the road to marriage. This helps them to solidify communication skills and to get to know one another---one of the functions courtship previously fulfilled.

Read more: Courtship & Dating | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/about_6102107_courtshipdating.html#ixzz2HBLJMcjC

The world is ignorant of almost every right value that produces the right results all people seek. While everyone wants to be happyand assumes that following the established norm is the right way to achieve happinessmost remain miserable and never know why. This is especially true in the world of modern dating. Dating, followed by courtship, is supposed to lead to a happy marriage. But marriage cannot be happy if it is not built on the right foundation. Most couples have no idea that the foundation of a successful marriage begins long before the wedding day. In addition, a direct by-product of the wrong foundation is that most people have no idea how to select the right mate. Just what is dating? A sampling of opinions reveals a variety of definitions, with seemingly no two alike. In the simplest form, a date is merely a set time agreed upon by two people to engage in an activity. The most commonly recognized definition is an appointment for a specified time; especially a social engagement between two persons of opposite sex (Websters Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary). What about courtship? Most know little or nothing of this lost art, and many no longer know let alone usethe term. Those few who do, know virtually nothing about the principles of courtshipor its true purpose. As a result, if two people are dating, this could mean they have dated only twice, yet have become interested in pursuing marriage. Even if both were serious, and technically courting from this point (this is often the case today after just two dates), most would still refer to this as dating. In fact, there is no common understanding of just what dating and courtship are, or the plain difference between the twoand there is a big difference! Also, because it sounds too official and old-fashioned, teenagers today rarely even use the term dating. The idea of a datewhen a man formally asks a woman, for instance, if she would accept an engagement for dinneris nearly non-existent. Many simply slip or tumble into dating situations, seemingly not caring how this happens, or even what happens. Instead, they seem more concerned with going with the flow. Yet, you should care! Too much is at stake not to. There are many important principles behind dating that one must consider in order to successfully dateand be able to eventually move on to the more serious courtship and pursuit of marriage. You must have a means of knowing if or when you have found that special person. There are specific processes involved in proper dating that will help lead you down the right path. When was the last time you either heard or used the word courting? Again, this term is very rarely used in society today, and most do not have any idea what it really means. Websters states that courting is to engage in social activities leading to engagement and marriage. Most would reply, But isnt that dating? The answer is no. Courting is a separate but important and

intricate part of the process pointing toward and leading to marriage. Therefore, you must also come to understand and apply the right way to court. And then there are those who may want to date, court and marry for the second time. Of course, some lose a spouse to death. Many others, having already established a pattern of marital failure, hope to do better the second time around. But no one is telling them how to do better. Wounded, and perhaps feeling burned, many stumble into a rebound relationship, often choosing the exact same kind of person they just left behind! These people need guidance as well, and this book offers it. There are many manuals available, written from the human perspective, on how to date, court and find a mate. And there seems to be no end of sociologists, psychologists, marriage counselors and others considered to be experts, who are only too willing to offer what are no more than the opinions of people. This book does not merely present my perspectivemy viewof the subject. That would be of no more worth than so many others. Consider the intensifying debate about the status and legal recognition of same-sex couples. The United States and other Western countries are caught in the middle of a conflictan outright warover whether homosexual partners should be granted marriage licenses. In America, civil unions have already been permitted for some time in certain states. As the battle lines continue to form, the U.S. President and his allies are pursuing a constitutional amendment banning samesex marriages. Frustrated that the courts are defining marriage for the whole country, he stated that marriage should be defined by the people. But is this true? Is it really the people who have devised the institution of marriage? Should the people decide who and what constitutes a marriage? If so, then is it also human beings who should define the traditional means of selecting a mate pursuant to this goal? The answer to all these questions is an emphatic NO! ets be clear. While religionists and theologians assume that this is Gods world, it is not! Let me repeat, this is not Gods worldit does not reflect His Way. Its customs, beliefs, values, philosophies, traditions and practices are not of God. But God is callingand working witha small number of people, whom He is training for a very special purpose. Who and how one chooses to date, which can lead to courtship and marriage, is inseparable from this purpose. This book is far more than another manual containing dating tips or helpful hints. What you will read here reveals what God has to say on the matter. What people may say or doand the will of the peopleis irrelevant and usually just plain wrong! It is Gods perspectiveHis viewthat offers the way to everything good in life. God intends that every human being enjoy a happy marriage. This is directly tied to whom and how one datesand courtsprior to marriage! In order to fully grasp the many principles that apply to dating, courtship, engagement and marriage, much foundation must first be laid. Be patient with the need to establish the right

framework. It is essential to appreciatingto truly comprehendingall that follows. The reader makes a big mistake by skipping over or skimming through any early portions of this book in search of specifics describing what should happen on a date. If this is your interestif you are merely looking for keys, tips or good ideasthis book is not for you. While it does contain, later in the book, a great many specific points for application, these latter chapters simply cannot be properly applied without first understanding the vital backdrop of the preceding chapters. A word to parents and teens: Parents, this book can be absolutely invaluable to you in training and preparing your children throughout the years preceding the eligible age of marriageif you use it! Teenagers, this book will also guide youand will protect you from endless, and usually unseen, traps and pitfalls. Read it. Study it. Adhere to it. You will be enormously glad you did! Dating and Courtship Gods Way is truly different, and applying its contents could change your life forever!