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PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA * or * How I Found Goddess And What I Did To Her When I Found Her
THE MAGNUM OPIATE OF MA AC !PSE THE !OUNGER
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INTRODUCTION
!ou ho$d in &our hands one the Great *ooDs o= our 9entur& =nord6
So>e Great *ooDs are re9o(niEed at on9e with a =usi$ade o= 9riti9a$ huEEahs and (on=o$ons0 $iDe Fo&9e<s U !SSES6 Others a##ear a$>ost =urti'e$& and are on$& dis9o'ered 57 &ears $ater0 $iDe MO*! DIC) or Mende$<s (reat essa& on (eneti9s6 The PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA entered our s#a9eGti>e 9ontinuu> a$>ost as uno%trusi'e$& as a 9atG%ur($ar 9ree#in( o'er a windowsi$$6
In -.310 'irtua$$& no%od& had heard o= this wonder=u$ %ooD6 In -./70hundreds o= #eo#$e 9oast to 9oast were ta$Din( a%out it and asDin( the identit& o= the >&sterious author0 Ma$a9$&#se the !oun(er6 Ru>ors swe#t a9ross the 9ontinent0 =ro> New !orD to os An(e$es0 =ro> Seatt$e to St6 Foe6 Ma$a9$&#se was a9tua$$& A$an Watts0 one heard6 No0said another $e(end GG the PRINCIPIA was a9tua$$& the worD o= the Su=i Order6 A third0 'er& intri(uin( >&th he$d that Ma$a9$&#se was a #enGna>e =or Ri9hard M6 Ni"on0 who had a$$e(ed$& 9o>#osed the PRINCIPIA durin( a =ew >o>ents o= $u9idit&6 I enHo&ed ea9h o= these &arns and did >& #art to he$# s#read the>6 I was a$so 9are=u$ ne'er to 9ontradi9t the o99asiona$ ru>ors that I had a9tua$$&
written the who$e thin( >&se$= durin( an a9id tri#6
The $e(endr&0 the >&ster&0 the 9u$t (rew s$ow$&6 *& the >idG-./7<s0 thousands o= #eo#$e0 so>e as =ar o== as Hon( )on( and Austra$ia0 were ta$Din( a%out the PRINCIPIA0 and sin9e the ori(ina$ was out o= #rint %& then0 "ero" 9o#ies were %e(innin( to 9ir9u$ate here and there6
When the I
UMINATUS tri$o(& a##eared in -./50 >& 9oGauthor0 *o%
Shea0 and I %oth re9ei'ed hundreds o= $etters =ro> #eo#$e intri(ued %& the Iuotes =ro> the PRINCIPIA with whi9h we had de9orated the heads o= se'era$ 9ha#ters6 Man&0 who had a$read& heard o= the PRINCIPIA or seen 9o#ies0 asDed i= Shea and I had written it0 or i= we had 9o#ies a'ai$a%$e6 Others wrote to asD i= it were rea$0 or Hust so>ethin( we had in'ented the wa& H6P6 o'e9ra=t in'ented the NECRONOMICON6 We answered a99ordin( to our >oods0 so>eti>es te$$in( the truth0 so>eti>es s#readin( the >ost Godaw=u$ $ies and >&ths we 9ou$d de'ise =nord6
Wh& notJ We =e$t that this %ooD was a true C$assi9 8$iteratus i>>orta$is: and0 sin9e the a$$e(ed inte$$i(entsia had not &et dis9o'ered it0 the %est wa& to Dee# its $e(end a$i'e was to en9oura(e the >&tho$o(& and the 9ontro'ers& a%out it6 In9reasin($&0 #eo#$e wrote to asD >e i= Ti>oth& ear& had written it0 and I a$>ost a$wa&s to$d the> he had0 e"9e#t on Frida&s whe> I a> >ore whi>si9a$0 in whi9h 9ase I to$d the> it had %een trans>itted %& a 9anine inte$$(en9e GG 'ast09oo$0and uns&>#athi9 GG =ro> the Do( Star0 Sirius6 Now0 at $ast0 the truth 9an %e to$d6
A9tua$$&0 the PRINCIPIA is the worD o= a ti>eGtra'e$$in( anthro#o$o(ist =ro> the ;2rd Centur&6 He is 9urrent$& #assin( a>on( us as a 9o>#uter s#e9ia$ist0 %on 'i'ant and #hi$oso#her na>ed Gre(or& Hi$$6 He has a$so trans$ated se'era$ 'o$u>es o= Etrus9an eroti9 #oetr&0 under another #enGna>e0 and in the -1th Centur& was the >&sterious Man in *$a9D who (a'e Fe==erson the desi(n =or the Great Sea$ o= the United States6 I ha'e it on (ood authorit& that he is one o= the >ost a99o>#$ished ti>eGtra'e$ers in the (a$a"& and has 'isited Earth >an& ti>es in the #ast0usin( su9h 9o'erGidentities as Keno o= E$ias0 E>#eror Norton0 Count Ca($iostro0 Gui$$ia>e o= AIuaitaine0 et96 Whene'er I Iuestion hi> a%out this0 he (rows 'er& e'asi'e and atte>#ts to #ersuade >e that he is a9tua$$& Hust another ;7th Centur& Earth>an and that a$$ >& ideas a%out his e"traterrrestria$ and e"trate>#ora$ ori(in and de$usions6 HahL I a> not that easi$& de9ei'ed6 A=ter a$$0 a ti>eGtra'e$$in( anthro#o$o(ist wou$d sa& Hust that0 so that he 9ou$d o%ser'e us without his #resense 9ausin( 9u$turesho9D6 I understand that he has 9onsented to write an A=terward to this edition6 He<$$ #ro%a%$& 9ontradi9t e'er&thin( I<'e to$d &ou0 %ut don<t %e$ie'e a word he sa&s =nord6 He is a >aster o= the dead#an #utGon0 the #$ausi%$e satire0 the #hi$oso#hi9a$ $e(G#u$$ and a$$ the %ran9hes o= (ueri$$a onto$o(&6 For =u$$ %ene=it to the Head0 this %ooD shou$d %e read in 9onHun9tion with THE I UMINOIDS %& Nea$ Wi$(us 8Sun Press0
A$%uIuerIue0 NM: and KEN WITHOUT KEN MASTERS %& Ca>den *enares 8AndAOr Press0 *erDe$e&0 Ca$i=ornia:6 MWe are o#eratin( on >an& $e'e$s hereM0
as )en )ese& used to sa&6 In 9on9$usion0 there is no 9on9$usion6 Thin(s (o on as the& a$wa&s ha'e0 (ettin( weirder a$$ the ti>e6 Hai$ Eris6 A$$ hai$ Dis9ordia6 FnordJ
GRo%ert Anton Wi$son Internationa$ Ar>s and Hashish In96 Darra *aEar0 )ohat
A Hu( o= wine0 A $e( o= $a>% And thouL *eside >e0 Whist$in( in the darDness6
*e !e Not ost A>on( Pre9e#ts o= Order666 G The *ooD o= Uterus -N5
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FOURNA GDISPATCHGPOST AND SAN FRANCISCO DISCORDIAN SOCIET! CA*A *U INTERGA ACTIC REPORT O POPE POOP6 ETIN AND
GREATER POOP+Are &ou rea$$& serious or whatJ MA G;+ So>eti>es I taDe hu>or serious$&6 So>eti>es I taDe seriousness hu>orous$&6 Either wa& it is irre$e'ant6
GP+ Ma&%e &ou are Hust 9raE&6 M;+ IndeedL *ut do not reHe9t these tea9hin( as =a$se %e9ause I a> 9raE&6 The reason that I a> 9raE& is %e9ause the& are true6
GP+ Is Eris trueJ M;+ E'er&thin( is true6 GP+ E'en =a$se thin(sJ M;+ E'en =a$se thin(s are true6 GP+ How 9an that %eJ M;+ I don<t Dnow >an0 I didn<t do it6
GP+ Wh& do &ou dea$ with so >an& ne(ati'esJ M;+ To disso$'e the>6 GP+ Wi$$ &ou de'e$o# that #ointJ M;+ No6
GP+ Is there an essentia$ >eanin( %ehind POEEJ M;+ There is a Ken Stor& a%out a student who asDed a Master to e"#$ain the
>eanin( o= *uddhis>6 The Master<s re#$& was MThree #ounds o= =$a"6M GP+ Is that the answer to >& IuestionJ M;+ No0 o= 9ourse not6 That is Hust i$$ustrati'e6 The answer to &our Iuestion is FIPE TONS OF F A,L
SUSPENDED ANNIHI ATION
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Prin9i#ia Dis9ordia or How I Found Goddess O What I Did To Her When I =ound Her
%ein( a *e(innin( Introdu9tion to The Erisian M&sterees
Whi9h is Most Interestin(
GRSG
as Di'ine$& Re'ea$ed to M& Hi(h Re'eren9e MA AC !PSE THE !OUNGER0 )SC
O>ni%ene'o$ent Po$&=ather o= Pir(init& in Go$d and HIGH PRIEST o= THE PARATHEOGANAMETAM!STI)HOOD OF ERIS ESOTERIC 8POEE:
HAI ERISL GRSG )A
ISTI GRSG A
HAI DISCORDIAL
Dedi9ated to The Prettiest One
The U#start o= one hand 9$a##in(
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POEE is one >ani=estation o= THE DISCORDIAN SOCIET! a%out whi9h &ou wi$$ $earn >ore and understand $ess
We are a tri%e o= #hi$oso#hers0 theo$o(ians0
>a(i9ians0 s9ientists0 artists0 9$owns0 and si>i$ar >ania9s who are intri(ued with ERIS GODDESS OF CONFUSION and with Her Doin(s
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC I Te$$ !ou+ One >ust sti$$ ha'e 9haos in one to (i'e %irth to a dan9in( starL GNietEs9he
THE FIPE COMMANDMENTS 8THE PENTA*ARF:
The PENTA*ARF was dis9o'ered %& the her>it A#ost$e Karathud in the Fi=th !ear o= The Cater#i$$ar6 He =ound the> 9ar'ed in (i$ded stone0 whi$e %ui$din( a sun de9D =or his 9a'e0 %ut their i>#ort was $ost =or the& were written in a >&sterious 9&#her6 Howe'er0 a=ter -7 weeDs O -- hours o= intensi'e s9rutin& he dis9erned that the >essa(e 9ou$d %e read %& standin( on his head and 'iewin( it u#side down6
)NOW !E THIS O MAN OF FAITHL
I G There is no Goddess %ut Goddess and She is !our Goddess6 There is no Erisian Mo'e>ent %ut The Erisian Mo'e>ent and it is The Erisian Mo'e>ent6 And e'er& Go$den A##$e Cor#s is the %e$o'ed ho>e o= a Go$den Wor>6
II G A Dis9ordian Sha$$ A$wa&s use the O==i9ia$ Dis9ordian Do9u>ent Nu>%erin( S&ste>6
III G A Dis9ordian is ReIuired durin( his ear$& I$$u>ination to Go O== A$one O PartaDe Fo&ous$& o= a Hot Do( on a Frida&N this De'oti'e Cere>on& to Re>onstrate a(ainst the #o#u$ar Pa(anis>s o= the Da&+ o= Catho$i9 Christendo> 8no >eat on Frida&:0 o= Fudais> 8no >eat o= PorD:0 o= Hindi9 Peo#$es 8no >eat o= *ee=:0 o= *uddhists 8no >eat o= ani>a$:0 and o= Dis9ordians 8no Hot Do( *uns:6
IP G A Dis9ordian sha$$ PartaDe o= No Hot Do( *uns0 =or Su9h was the So$a9e o= Our Goddess when She was Con=ronted with The Ori(ina$ Snu%6
P G A Dis9ordian is Prohi%ited o= *e$ie'in( What he reads6
IT IS SO WRITTENL SO *E IT6 HAI DISCORDIAL PROSECUTORS WI TRANSGRESSICUTED6
*E
Test Tuestion =ro> To#an(a Ca%a$ The Twe$'e Fa>ous *uddha Minds S9hoo$+ I=
the& are our %rothers0 how 9o>e we 9an<t eat the>J
A KEN STOR!
%& Ca>den *enares0 The Count o= Fi'e Head>aster0 Ca># MeeDer Ca%a$
A serious &oun( >an =ound the 9on=$i9ts o= >id ;7th Centur& A>eri9a 9on=usin(6 He went to >an& #eo#$e seeDin( a wa& o= reso$'in( within hi>se$= the dis9ords that trou%$ed hi>0 %ut he re>ained trou%$ed6 One ni(ht in a 9o==ee house0 a se$=Gordained Ken Master said to hi>0 M(o to the di$a#idated >ansion &ou wi$$ =ind at this address whi9h I ha'e written down =or &ou6 Do not s#eaD to those who $i'e thereN &ou >ust re>ain si$ent unti$ the >oon rises to>orrow ni(ht6 Go to the $ar(e roo> on the ri(ht o= the >ain ha$$wa&0 sit in the $otus #osition on to# o= the ru%%$e in the northeast 9orner0 =a9e the 9orner0 and >editate6M He did Hust as the Ken Master instru9ted6 His >editation was =reIuent$& interru#ted %& worries6 He worried whether or not the resr o= the #$u>%in( =i"tures wou$d =a$$ =ro> the se9ond =$oor %athroo> to Hoin the #i#es and other trash he was sittin( on6 He worried how wou$d he Dnow when the >oon rose on the ne"t ni(ht6 He worried a%out what the #eo#$e who wa$Ded throu(h the roo> said a%out hi>6 His worr&in( and >editation were distur%ed when0 as i= in a test o= his =aith0 ordure =e$$ =ro> the se9ond =$oor onto hi>6 At that
ti>e two #eo#$e wa$Ded into the roo>6 The =irst asDed the se9ond who the >an was sittin( there was6 The se9ond re#$ied MSo>e sa& he is a ho$& >an6 Others sa& he is a shithead6M Hearin( this0 the >an was en$i(htened6
Western Union Te$e(ra>
To+ Feho'a !ahweh Care+ Ce$estia$ Hote$ 8Suite Q333: Presidentia$ Tier0 Paradise
Dear GodN This is to in=or> &ou that &our 9urrent #osition as diet& is herewith ter>inated due to (ross in9o>#eten9e STOP !our 9he9D wi$$ %e >ai$ed STOP P$ease do not use >e =or a re=eren9e
Res#e9t=u$$&0 Ma$a9$&#se the !oun(erAO>ni%ene'o$ent Po$&=ather POEE Hi(h Priest
-76 The Earth IuaDes and the hea'ens ratt$eN the %easts o= nature =$o9D
to(ether and the nations o= >en =$o9D a#artN 'o$9anoes usher u# heat whi$e e$sewhere water %e9o>es i9e and >e$tsN and then on other da&s it Hust rains6 --6 Indeed do >an& thin(s 9o>e to #ass6 H*TN The *ooD o= Predi9tions0 Cha#6 -.
G THE *IRTH OF THE ERISIAN MOPEMENT G THE REPE ATION
Fust #rior to the de9ade o= the nineteenGsi"ties0 when S#utniD was a$one and new0 and a%out the ti>e that )en )ese& tooD his =irst a9id tri# as a >edi9a$ 'o$unteerN %e=ore under(round news#a#ers0 Piet Na>0 and ta$D o= a se9ond A>eri9an Re'o$utionN in the 9o>#arati'e Iuiet o= the $ate nineteenG=i=ties0 Hust %e=ore the idea o= RENAISSANCE %e9a>e re$e'ant6666
Two &oun( Ca$i=ornians0 Dnown $ater as O>ar Ra'enhurst and Ma$a9$&#se the !oun(er0 were indu$(in( in their ha%it o= si##in( 9o==ee at an a$$ni(ht %ow$in( a$$e& and (enera$$& so$'in( the wor$d<s #ro%$e>s6 This #arti9u$ar e'enin( the >ain su%He9t o= dis9ussion was dis9ord and the& were 9o>#$ainin( to ea9h other o= the #ersona$ 9on=usion the& =e$t in their res#e9ti'e $i'es6 MSo$'e the #ro%$e> o= dis9ord0M said one0 Mand a$$ other #ro%$e>s wi$$ 'anish6M MIndeed0M said the other0 M9haos and stri=e are the roots o= a$$ 9on=usion6M
FIRST I MUST SPRIN) E !OU WITH FAIR! DUST
Sudden$& the #$a9e %e9a>e de'oid o= $i(ht6 Then an utter si$en9e en'e$o#ed the>0 and a (reat sti$$ness was =e$t6 Then 9a>e a %$indin( =$ash o= intense $i(ht0 as thou(h their 'er& #s&9hes had (one no'a6 Then 'ision returned6
The two were daEed and neither >o'ed nor s#oDe =or se'era$ >inutes6 The& $ooDed around and saw that the %ow$ers were =roEen $iDe statues in a 'ariet& o= 9o>i9 #ositions0 and that a %ow$in( %a$$ was stead=ast$& an9hored to the =$oor on$& in9hes =ro> the #ins that it had %een sent to s9atter6 The two $ooDed at ea9h other0 tota$$& una%$e to a99ount =or the #heno>enon6 The 9ondition was one o= sus#ension0 and one noti9ed that the 9$o9D had sto##ed6
There wa$Ded into the roo> a 9hi>#anEee0 sha((& and (re& a%out the >uEE$e0 &et u#ri(ht to his =u$$ =i'e =eet0 and #oised with natura$ >aHest&6 He 9arried a s9ro$$ and wa$Ded to the &oun( >en6
MGent$e>en0M he said0 Mwh& does Pi9Derin(<s Moon (o a%out in re'erse or%itJ Gent$e>en0 there are ni##$es on &our 9hestsN do &ou (i'e >i$DJ And what0 #ra& te$$0 Gent$e>en0 is to %e done a%out Heisen%er(<s awJM He #aused6 MSOME*OD! HAD TO PUT A OF THIS CONFUSION HERELM
And with that he re'ea$ed his s9ro$$6 It was a dia(ra>0 $iDe a &inG&an( with a #enta(on on one side and an a##$e on the other6 And then he e"#$oded and the two $ost 9ons9iousness6
ERIS G GODDESS OF CHAOS0 DISCORD O CONFUSION
The& awoDe to the sound o= #ins 9$atterin(0 and =ound the %ow$ers en(a(ed in their (a>e and the waitress %us& with >aDin( 9o==ee6 It was a##arant that their e"#erien9e had %een #ri'ate6
The& dis9ussed their stran(e en9ounter and re9onstru9ted =ro> >e>or& the 9hi>#anEee<s dia(ra>6 O'er the ne"t =i'e da&s the& sear9hed $i%raries to =ind the si(ni=i9an9e o= it0 %ut were disa##ointed to un9o'er on$& re=eren9es to Taois>0 the )orean =$a(0 and Te9hno9ra9&6 It was not unti$ the& tra9ed the GreeD writin( on the a##$e that the& dis9o'ered the an9ient Goddess Dnown to the GreeDs as ERIS and to the Ro>ans as DISCORDIA6 This was on the =i=th ni(ht0 and when the& s$e#t that ni(ht ea9h had a 'i'id drea> o= a s#$endid wo>an whose e&es were as so=t as =eather and as dee# as eternit& itse$=0 and whose %od& was the s#e9ta9u$ar dan9e o= ato>s and uni'erses6 P&rote9hni9s o= #ure ener(& =or>ed her =$owin( hair0 and rain%ows >ani=ested and disso$'ed as she s#oDe in a war> and (ent$e 'oi9e+
I ha'e 9o>e to te$$ &ou that &ou are =ree6 Man& a(es a(o0 M& 9ons9iousness $e=t >an0 that he >i(ht de'e$o# hi>se$=6 I return to =ind this de'e$o#>ent a##roa9hin( 9o>#$etion0 %ut hindered %& =ear and %& >isunderstandin(6
!ou ha'e %ui$t =or &ourse$'es #s&9hi9 suits o= ar>or0 and 9$ad in the>0 &our 'ision is restri9ted0 &our >o'e>ents are 9$u>s& and #ain=u$0 &our sDin is %ruised0 and &our s#irit is %roi$ed in the sun6
I a> 9haos6 I a> the su%stan9e =ro> whi9h &our artists and s9ientists %ui$d rh&th>s6 I a> the s#irit with whi9h &our 9hi$dren and 9$owns $au(h in ha##& anar9h&6 I a> 9haos6 I a> a$i'e0 and I te$$ &ou that &ou are =ree6
Durin( the ne"t >onths the& studied #hi$oso#hies and theo$o(ies0 and $earned that ERIS or DISCORDIA was #ri>ari$& =eared %& the an9ients as %ein( disru#ti'e6 Indeed0 the 'er& 9on9e#t o= 9haos was sti$$ 9onsidered eIui'a$ent to stri=e and treated as a ne(ati'e6 MNo wonder thin(s are a$$ s9rewed u#0M the& 9on9$uded0 Mthe& ha'e (ot it a$$ %a9Dwards6M The& =ound that the #rin9i#$e o= disorder was e'er& >u9h as si(ni=i9ant as the #rin9i#$e o= order6
With this in >ind0 the& studied the stran(e &inG&an(6 Durin( a >editation one a=ternoon0 a 'oi9e 9a>e to the>+
It is 9a$$ed THE SACRED CHAO6 I a##oint &ou )ee#ers o= It6 Therein &ou wi$$ =ind an&thin( &ou $iDe6 S#eaD o= Me as DISCORD0 to show 9ontrast to the #enta(on6 Te$$ 9onstri9ted >anDind that there are no ru$es0 un$ess the& 9hoose to in'ent ru$es6 )ee# 9$ose the words o= S&adasti+ <TIS AN I WIND
THAT * OWS NO MINDS6 And re>e>%er that there is no t&rann& in the State o= Con=usion6 For =urther in=or>ation0 9onsu$t &our #inea$ ($and6
MWhat is thisJM >u>%$ed one to the other0 MA re$i(ion %ased on The Goddess o= Con=usionJ It is utter >adnessLM
And with those words0 ea9h $ooDed at the other in a%so$ute awe6 O>ar
%e(an to (i(($e6 Ma$ %e(an to $au(h6 O>ar %e(an to Hu># u# and down6 Ma$ was hootin( and ho$$erin( to %eat a$$ he$$6 And a>id sIuea$s o= >irth and with tears on their 9heeDs0 ea9h a##ointed the other to %e hi(h #riest o= his own >adness0 and to(ether the& de9$ared the>se$'es to %e a so9iet& o= Dis9ordia0 =or what e'er that >a& turn out to %e6
MThere are tri'ia$ truths O there are (reat truths6 The o##osite o= a tri'ia$ truth is #$ain$& =a$se6 The o##osite o= a (reat truth is a$so true6M GNei$s *ohr
MDid &ou Dnow that there is a >i$$ion %u9Ds hidden in the house ne"t doorJM M*ut there is no house ne"t door6M MNoJ Then $et<s (o %ui$d oneLM GMAR,
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Mo>o>oto0 Fa>ous Fa#anese0 9an swa$$ow his nose6
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC St6 Trinian<s SUPPORT !OUR OCA PO ICE Sewin( Cir9$e
THE *ATT E H!MN OF THE ERISTOCRAC! %& ord O>ar
PERSE Mine %rain has >editated on the s#innin( o= The ChaoN It is ho'erin( o<er the ta%$e where the Chie=s o= Sta== are now Gathered in dis9ussion o= the dro##in( o= The *o>%N Her A##$e Cor#s is stron(L
CHORUS Grand 8and (or&: O$d Dis9ordHaL Grand 8and (or&: O$d Dis9ordHaL Grand 8and (or&: O$d Dis9ordHaL Her A##$e Cor#s is stron(L
PERSE She was not in'ited to the #art& that the& he$d on i>%o PeaDN* So She threw a Go$den A##$e0 <sted o= turn<d t<other 9heeDL O it 9ra9Ded the Ho$& Pun9h%ow$ and it >ade the ne9tar $eaDN Her A##$e Cor#s is stron(L
* M i>%o PeaDM re=ers to O$d i>%o PeaD0 9o>>on$& 9a$$ed %& the GreeDs MO$< i>%< PeaD6M
I= a Iui"oti9 so9rates studied Een under Kor%a666J
MThe tide is turnin(666 the ene>& is su==erin( terri%$e $ossesM GGen6 Geo6 A6 Custer
Peo#$e in a Position to )now0 In96
ON PRA!ER
Ma$G; was on9e asDed %& one o= his Dis9i#$es i= he o=ten #ra&ed to Eris6 He re#$ied with these words+
No0 we Erisians se$do> #ra&0 it is >u9h too dan(erous6 Char$es Fort has $isted >an& =a9tua$ in9iden9es o= i(norant #eo#$e 9on=ronted with0 sa&0 a drou(ht0 and then #ra&in( =er'ent$& GG and then (ettin( the entire 'i$$a(e wi#ed out in a torrentia$ =$ood6
MO= 9ourse I<> 9raE&0 %ut that doesn<t >ean I<> wron(6 I<> >ad %ut not i$$M
8Werewo$= *rid(e0 Ro%ert Anton Wison:
-U6 Wi#e thine ass with what is written and (rin $iDe a ninn& at what is S#oDen6 TaDe thine re=u(e with thine wine in the Nothin( %ehind E'er&thin(0 as &ou hurr& a$on( the Path6 THE PURP E SAGE H*TN The *ooD o= Predi9tions0 Cha#6 -.
Hea'en is down6 He$$ is u#6 This is #ro'en %& the =a9t that the #$anets and stars are order$& in their >o'e>ents0 whi$e down on earth we 9o>e 9$ose to the #ri>a$ 9haos6 There are =our other #roo=s0 %ut I =or(et the>6 IGNOTUM PER IGNOTIUS The >eanin( o= this is unDnown
GFosh the Di$$ )in( )on( )a%a$
IT IS M! FIRM *E IEF THAT IT IS A MISTA)E TO HO D FIRM *E IEFS6
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC The C$assi9a$ GreeDs were not in=$uen9ed %& the C$assi9a$ GreeDs6
DO NOT CIRCU ATEL
What We )now A%out ERIS 8not >u9h:
The Ro>ans $e=t a $iDeness o= Her =or #osterit&GG She was shown as a (rotesIue wo>an with a #a$e and (hast$& $ooD0 Her e&es a=ire0 Her (ar>ent ri##ed and torn0 and wo>en $ooD #a$e and (hast$& when 9on9ea$in( a 9hi$$& da((er in their %oso>s6
Her (eneo$o(& is =ro> the GreeDs and is utter$& 9on=used6 Either She was the twin o= Ares and the dau(hter o= Keus and HeraN or She was the dau(hter o= N&"0 (oddess o= ni(ht 8who was either the dau(hter or wi=e o= Chaos0 or %oth:0 and N&"<s %rother0 Ere%us0 and whose %rothers and sisters in9$ude Death0 Doo>0 Mo9Der&0 and Friendshi#6 And that She %e(at For(et=u$$ness0 Tuarre$s0 ies0 and a %un9h o= (ods and (oddesses $iDe that6
One da& Ma$G; 9onsu$ted his Pinea$ G$and* and asDed Eris i= She rea$$& 9reated
a$$ o= those terri%$e thin(s6 She to$d hi> that She had a$wa&s $iDed the O$d GreeDs0 %ut that the& 9annot %e trusted with histori9 >atters6 MThe& were0M She added0 M'i9ti>s o= indi(estion0 &ou Dnow6M
Su==i9e it to sa& that Eris is not hate=u$ or >a$i9ious6 *ut She is >is9hie'ous0 and does (et a $itt$e %it9h& at ti>es6
*THE PINEA G AND is where ea9h and e'er& one o= us 9an ta$D to Eris6 I= &ou ha'e trou%$e a9ti'atin( &our Pinea$0 then tr& the a##endi" whi9h does a$>ost as we$$6 Re=eren9e+ DOGMA I0 METAPH!SICS Q20 MThe Indo9trine o= the Pinea$ G$andM
DIRUIT AEDIFICAT MUTAT TUADRATA ROTUNDUS GHora9e CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC THE INSIDE STOR!L
The aw o= Fi'es
the aw o= Fi'es is one o= the o$dest Erisian M&sterees6 It was =irst re'ea$ed to Good ord O>ar and is one o= the (reat 9ontri%utions to 9o>e =ro> The Hidden Te>#$e o= The Ha##& Fesus6 POEE su%s9ri%es to the aw o= Fi'es o= O>ar<s se9t6 And POEE a$so re9o(niEes the ho$& ;2 8;V2W5: that is in9or#orated %& E#isDo#os Dr6 Morde9ai Ma$i(natus0 )NS0 into his Dis9ordian se9t0 The An9ient I$$u>inated Seers o=
*a'aria6 The aw o= Fi'es states si>#$& that+ A THINGS HAPPEN IN FIPES0 OR
ARE DIPISI* E *! OR ARE MU TIP ES OF FIPE0 OR ARE SOMEHOW DIRECT ! OR INDIRECT ! APPROPRIATE TO 56 The aw o= Fi'es is ne'er wron(6 In the Erisian Ar9hi'es is an o$d >e>o =ro> O>ar to Ma$G;+ MI =ind the aw o= Fi'es to %e >ore and >ore >ani=est the harder I $ooD6M
P$ease do not use this do9u>ent as toi$et tissue
The Na(as o= U##er *ur>a sa& that the sun shines %& da& %e9ause0 %ein( a wo>an0 it is a=raid to 'enture out at ni(ht6 CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC M!ou wi$$ =ind that the State is the Dind o= ORGANIKATION whi9h0 thou(h it does %i( thin(s %ad$&0 does s>a$$ thin(s %ad$& too6M G Fohn )enneth Ga$%raith
THE M!TH OF THE APP E OF DISCORD It see>s that Keus was #re#arin( a weddin( %anIuet =or Pe$eus and Thetis and did not want to in'ite Eris %e9ause o= Her re#utation as a trou%$e >aDer6*
This >ade Eris an(r&0 and so She =ashioned an a##$e o= #ure (o$d** and ins9ri%ed u#on it )A ISTI 8MTo The Prettiest OneM: and on the da& o=
the =ete She ro$$ed it into the %anIuet ha$$ and then $e=t to %e a$one and Ho&ous$& #artaDe o= a hot do(6 Now0 three o= the in'ited (oddesses0*** Athena0 Hera0 and A#hrodite0 ea9h i>>ediate$& 9$ai>ed it to %e$on( to herse$= %e9ause o= the ins9ri#tion6 And the& started =i(htin(0 and the& started throwin( #un9h a$$ o'er the #$a9e and e'er&thin(6 Fina$$& Keus 9a$>ed thin(s down and de9$ared that an ar%itrator >ust %e se$e9ted0 whi9h was a reasona%$e su((estion0 and a$$ a(reed6 He sent the> to a she#herd o= Tro&0 whose na>e was Paris %e9ause his >other had had a $ot o= (au$ and had >arried a Fren9h>anN %ut ea9h o= the sneaD& (oddesses tried to outwit the others %& (oin( ear$& and o==erin( a %ri%e to Paris6 Athena o==ered hi> Heroi9 War Pi9tories0 Hera o==ered hi> Great Wea$th0 and A#hrodite o==ered hi> the Most *eauti=u$ Wo>an on Earth6 *ein( a hea$th& &oun( TroHan $ad0 Paris #ro>#t$& a99e#ted A#hrodite<s %ri%e and she (ot the a##$e and he (ot s9rewed6 As she had #ro>ised0 she >aneu'ered earth$& ha##enin(s so that Paris 9ou$d ha'e He$en 8The He$en: then $i'in( with her hus%and Mene$aus0)in( o= S#arta6 An&wa&0 e'er&one Dnows that the TroHan War =o$$owed when S#arta de>anded their Tueen %a9D and that the TroHan War is said to %e The First War a>on( >en6 And so we su==er %e9ause o= the Ori(ina$ Snu%6 And so a Dis9ordian is to #artaDe o= No Hot Do( *uns6 Do &ou %e$ie'e thatJ GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
* This is 9a$$ed THE DOCTRINE OF THE ORIGINA SNU* ** There is histori9 disa(ree>ent 9on9ernin( whether this a##$e was o= >eta$i9 (o$d or a9a#u$9o6 *** A9tua$$& there were =i'e (oddesses0 %ut the GreeDs did not Dnow the aw o= Fi'es6
REMEM*ER+ )ING )ONG DIED FOR !OUR SINS
Ho Chi Ken is )in( Con(
56 An A(e o= Con=usion0 or an An9ient A(e0 is one in whi9h Histor& As We )now It %e(ins to un=o$d0 in whi9h Whate'er Is Co>in( e>er(es in Cor#ora$ For>0 >ore or $ess0 and su9h ti>es are A(es o= *a$an9ed Un%a$an9e0 or Un%a$an9ed *a$an9e6 36 An A(e o= *ureau9ra9& is an I>#eria$ A(e in whi9h Thin(s Mature0 in whi9h Con=usion %e9o>es entren9hed and durin( whi9h *a$an9ed *a$an9e0or Sta(nation0 is attained6
/6 An A(e o= Disorder or an A=ter>ath is an A#o9a$&#ti9 Period o= Transition %a9D to Chaos throu(h the S9reen o= O%$i'ion into whi9h the A(e #asseth0 =ina$$&6 These are A(es o= Un%a$an9ed Un%a$an9e6 H*TN The *ooD o= Uterus0 Cha#6 2
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC Do !ou Re>e>%erJ -6 Po$ite 9hi$dren wi$$ a$wa&s re>e>%er that a 9hur9h is the XXXXXX o= XXXXX6
An Erisian H&>n %& Re'6 Dr6 Mun(oHerr& Grind$e%one0 )O* E#isDo#os0 THE RA!PI E APP E PANTHERS
Onwards Christian So$diers0 Onwards *uddhist Priests6 Onward0 Fruits o= Is$a>0 Fi(ht ti$$ &ou<re de9eased6 Fi(ht &our $itt$e %att$es6 Foin in thi9Dest =ra&N For the Greater G$or&0 o= DisG9ordGiGa6 !ah0 &ah0 &ah0 !ah0 &ah0 &ah0 &ah6 *$============tL
Mr6 Mo>o>oto0 =a>ous Fa#anese who 9an swa$$ow his nose0has %een e"#osed6 It was re9ent$& re'ea$ed that it was Mr6 Mo>o>oto<s %rother who has %een doin( a$$ this nose swa$$owin(6
Heute Die We$t Mor(ens das Sonnens&ste>L
A%%e& o= the *ar%arous Re$i9 CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC O==i9ia$ Pro9$a>ation GG ODDQ III8%:AU0iN-1A=t2-25 GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
POEE DISORGANIKATIONA MATRI,
P: The House o= A#ost$e o= ERIS For the Eristo9ra9& and the Ca%a$a%$ia
A6 The Fi'e A#ost$es o= ERIS *6 The Go$den A##$e Cor#s 8)SC: C6 E#isDo#oses o= The Dis9ordian So9iet& D6 POEE Ca%a$ Priests E6 Saints0 Erisian A'atars0 and iDe Persona(es
IP: The House o= the Risin( Pod(e =or the Dis9i#$es o= Dis9ordia
A6 O==i9e o= M& Hi(h Re'eren9e0 The Po$&=ather *6 Coun9i$ o= POEE Priests C6 The EGION OF D!NAMIC DISCORD D6 Eristi9 A'atars E6 Aneristi9 A'atars
III: The House o= the Risin( Hod(e For the *ureau9ra9&
A6 the *ureau o= Erisian Ar9hi'es *6 the *ureau o= The POEE E#isto$ar&0 and The Di'ision o= Do(>as C6 The *ureau o= S&>%o$s0E>%$e>s0 Certi=i9ates and Su9h D6 The *ureau o= Eristi9 A==airs0 and The Ad>inistr& =or The Unen$i(htened Eristi9 Horde E6 The *ureau o= Aneristi9 A==airs0 and the Ad>inistr& =or the Orders o= Dis9ordia
II: The House o= the Risin( Co$$a#se For the En9oura(e>ent o= i%eration o= Freedo>0 andAor the Dis9oura(e>ent o= the I>>anentiEin( o= the Es9haton
A6 The *reeEe o= Wisdo> andAor The Wind o= Insanit& *6 The *reeEe o= Inte(rit& andAor The Wind o= Arro(an9e C6 The *reeEe o= *eaut& D6 The *reeEe o= o'e andAor The Wind o= Outra(es andAor The Wind o= *o>%ast
E6 The *reeEe o= au(hter andAor The Wind o= *u$$shit
I: The Out House For what is $e=t o'er
A6 Mis9e$$aneous A'atars *6 The Fi=th Co$u>n C6 POEE WPOPESW e'er&where D6 Drawer MOM =or OUT OF FI E E6 ost Do9u>ents and For(otten Truths
GRSG OFFICIA G POEE Head Te>#$e0 San Fran9is9o HOUSE OF THE RISING PODGE *ureau o= The POEE E#isto$ar&
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC W THE FIPE FINGERED HAND OF ERIS W
The o==i9ia$ s&>%o$ o= POEE is here i$$ustrated6 It >a& %e this0 or an& si>i$ar de'i9e to re#resent TWO OPPOSING ARROWS CONPERGING INTO A COMMON POINT6 It >a& %e 'erti9a$0 horiEonta$0 or e$se su9h0 and it >a& %e e$a%orated or si>#$i=ied as desired6
The esoteri9 na>e =or this s&>%o$ is THE FIPE FINGERED HAND OF ERIS0 9o>>on$&
shortened to THE HAND6 Y A GGGGGRSGGGGG A Y
NOTE+ In the $ore o= western >a(i90 the YA is taDen to s&>%o$iEe horns0 es#e9ia$$& the horns o= Satan or o= dia%o$i9a$ %easties6 The Fi'e Fin(ered Hand o= Eris0 howe'er0 is not intended to %e taDen as satani90 =or the MhornsM are su##orted %& another set0 o= in'erted MhornsM6 Or >a&%e it is wa$rus tusDs6 I don<t Dnow what it is0 to te$$ the truth6
MSurrea$is> ai>s at the tota$ trans=or>ation o= the >ind and a$$ that rese>%$es itM G*reton CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC GRSG POEE GRSG
POEE 8#ronoun9ed MPOEEM: is an a9ron&> =or The PARATHEOG ANAMETAM!STI)HOOD OF ERIS ESOTERIC6 The =irst #art 9an %e taDen to >ean MeIui'a$ent deit&0re'ersit& %e&ondG>&stiIue6M We are not rea$$& esoteri90 it<s Hust that no%od& #a&s >u9h attention to us6
M! HIGH REPERENCE MA AC !PSE THE !OUNGER0 A*0 DD0 )SC0 is the Hi(h Priest o=
POEE0 and POEE is (rounded in his e#isDo#oti9 re'e$ations o= The Goddess6 He is 9a$$ed ZThe O>ni%ene'o$ent Po$&=ather o= Pir(init& in Go$d[6
The POEE HEAD TEMP E is the Foshua Norton Ca%a$ o= The Dis9ordian So9iet&0 whi9h is $o9ated in Ma$G;<s #inea$ ($and and 9an %e =ound %& te>#ora$$& and s#a9ia$$& $o9atin( the rest o= Ma$G;6
POEE has no treasur&0 no %&G$aws0 no arti9$es0 no (uides sa'e Ma$G;<s #inea$ ($and0 and has on$& one s9ru#$eGG whi9h Ma$G; Dee#s on his De& 9hain6
POEE has not re(istered0in9or#orated0 or otherwise 9hartered with the State0 and so the State does not re9o(niEe POEE or POEE Ordinations0 whi9h is on$& =air0 %e9ause POEE does not re9o(niEe the State6
POEE has 5 DEGREES+ There is the neo#h&te0 or EGIONNAIRE DISCIP E6 The EGIONNAIRE DEACON0 who is 9at9hin( on6 An Ordained POEE PRIESTAPRIESTESS or a CHAP IN6 The HIGH PRIEST0 the Po$&=ather6 And POEE WPOPEW6
POEE EGIONNAIRE DISCIP ES are authoriEed to initiate others as Dis9ordian So9iet& e(ionnaires6 PRIESTS a##oint their own DEACONS6 The PO !FATHER ordains #riests6 I don<t Dnow a%out the WPOPESW6
M This %ooD is a >irror6 When a >onDe& $ooDs in0 no a#ost$e $ooDs out6M
G i9hten%er(
A##$i9ation For Me>%ershi# In the Erisian >o'e>ent o= the DISCORDIA SOCIET!
-6 Toda&<s date
!esterda&<s Date
;6 Pur#ose o= this a##$i9ation+ GG>e>%ershi# in + a6 e(ion o= D&na>i9 Dis9ord %6 POEE 96 *a'arian I$$u>inati d6 A$$ o= the A%o'e e6 None o= the A%o'e =6 OtherGG *E SPECIFICL
26 Na>eXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Ho$& Na>eXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
AddressXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 8I= te>#orar&0 a$so (i'e an address =ro> whi9h >ai$ 9an %e =orwarded:
U6 Des9ri#tion+ *orn+ Z[!es Z[No E&es+Z[; Z[other
Hei(ht+
66666 =$6 oE6
ast ti>e &ou had a hair9ut+
Reason+
Ra9e+ Z[horse Z[hu>an
I6T6+ -57G;77 ;77G;57 ;57G277 o'er 277
56 Histor&+ Edu9ation G hi(hest (rade 9o>#$eted - ; 2 U 5 3 o'er 3th
Pro=essiona$+ On another rea> o= #a#er $ist e'er& Ho% sin9e -.2/ =ro> whi9h &ou ha'e %een =ired6 Medi9a$+ On a se#arate sheet $a%e$ed M9on=identia$M $ist a$$ >aHor #s&9hi9 #s&9hoti9 e#isodes e"#erien9ed within the $ast ;U hours
36 SneaD& Tuestions to esta%$ish #ersona$it& traits I wou$d rather a6 $i'e in an outhouse %6 #$a& in a ro9D (rou# 96 eat 9ater#i$$ars6 I wear o%s9ene tattoos %e9ause 6666666666 I ha'e 9eased ra#in( $itt$e 9hi$dren Z[&es Z[no GG reason 6666666666
/6 Se$= Portrait
Re'6 Mun(o For O==i9e Use On$& GG a996 reH6 %urned
IC) HERELLL
8!ou >a& %e one o= the $u9D& ;5:
GRSG
POEE O It<s Priests
I= &ou $iDe Erisianis> as it is #resented a99ordin( to Ma$G;0 then &ou >a& wish to =ro> &our own POEE CA*A as a POEE PRIEST and &ou 9an (o do a %un9h o= POEE Priest$& Thin(s6 A MPOEE Ca%a$M is e"a9t$& what &ou thinD it is6
The Hi(h Priest >aDes no de>ands on his Priests0 thou(h he does rather e"#e9t (ood wi$$ o= the>6 The O==i9e o= The Po$&=ather is #oint0 not to tea9h6 On9e in a whi$e0 he e'en $istens6
Shou$d &ou =ind that &our own re'e$ations o= The Goddess %e9o>e su%stantia$$& di==erent that the re'e$ations o= Ma$G;0 then #erha#s the Goddess has #$ans =or &ou as an E#isDo#os0 and &ou >i(ht 9onsider 9reatin( &our own se9t =ro> s9rat9h0 unhindered6 E#isDo#oses are not 9o>#etin( with ea9h other0 and the& are a$$ POEE #riests an&wa& 8as soon as I $o9ate the>:6 The #oint is that E#isDo#oses are de'e$o#in( se#arate #aths to the Erisian >ountain to#6 See the se9tion MDis9ordian So9iet&M
ORDINATION AS A POEE PRIEST
There are no #arti9u$ar Iua$i=i9ations =or Ordination %e9ause i= &ou want to %e a POEE Priest then &ou >ust undou%ted$& Iua$i=&6 Who 9ou$d #ossi%$& Dnow %etter than &ou whether or not &ou shou$d %e OrdainedJ
An ORDAINED POEE PRIEST or PRIESTESS is de=ined as Mone who ho$ds an Ordination Certi=i9ate =ro> the O==i9e o= the Po$&=ather6M
SeeD into the Chao i= thou wou$dst %e wise And =ind &e de$i(ht in Her Great Sur#riseL ooD into the Chao i= thou wantest to Dnow What<s in a Chao and wh& it ain<t soL 8H*TN The *ooD o= Ad'ise0 -+-:
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC Wor$d Coun9i$ o= Chur9hes *outiIue
Note to POEE Priests+
The Po$&=ather wishes to re>ind a$$ Erisians the POEE was 9on9ei'ed not as a 9o>>er9ia$ enter#rise0 and that &ou are reIuested to Dee# &our 9oo$ when seeDin( =unds =or POEE Ca%a$s or when s#readin( the POEE Word 'ia the >arDet #$a9e6
The Hidden stone ri#ens =ast0 then $aid %are $iDe a turni# 9an easi$& %e 9ut out at $ast %ut e'en then the dan(er isn<t #ast6 That >an $i'es %est who<s =ain to $i'e ha$= >ad0 ha$= sane6 GF$e>ish Poet Fan Pan StiHe'oort0 -5;U6
The Erisian A==ir>ation
*EFORE THE GODDESS ERIS0 I 8na>e or ho$&na>e:0 do herewith de9$are >&se$= a POEE *ROTHER o= THE EGION OF D!NAMIC DISCORD6 HAI HAI HAI HAI HAI ERIS ERIS ERIS ERIS ERIS A HAI DISCORDIAL
the #residin( POEE O==i9ia$ 8i= an&: res#onds+
HAI DISCORDIAL
=ind the (oddess Eris Within &our Pinea$ G$and POEE
To Di'erse Gods Do Morta$s %owN Ho$& Cow0 and Who$$& Chao GRe'6 Dr6 Grind$e%one
Monroe Ca%a$
M9o>>on sense is what te$$s &ou that the wor$d is =$at6M
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC This is St6 Gu$iD6 He is the Messen(er o= the Goddess6 A di==erent a(e =ro> ours 9a$$ed hi> Her>es6 Man& #eo#$e 9a$$ed hi> %& >an& na>es6 He is a Roa9h
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXX e(ion o= D&na>i9 Dis9ord
HAR)
RECOGNIKE that the GG DISCORDIAN SOCIET! GG doth here%& 9erti=&
As a e(ionnaire
G$or& to We Chi$dren o= ERIS
Presented under the aus#i9es
o= our ad& o= Dis9ord0 ERIS %& the House o= the A#ost$es o= ERIS6
GRSG XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXX CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC HOW TO START A POEE CA*A WITHOUT MESSING AROUND WITH THE PO !FATHER
I= &ou 9an<t =ind the Po$&=ather0 or ha'in( =ound hi>0 don<t want an&thin( to do with hi>0 &ou are sti$$ authoriEed to =or> &our own POEE CA*A and do Priest$& Thin(s0 usin( the Prin9i#ia Dis9ordia as a (uide6 !our O==i9ia$ RanD wi$$ %e POEE CHAP IN =or the EGION OF D!NAMIC DISCORD0 whi9h is e"a9t$& the sa>e as a POEE PRIEST e"9e#t that &ou don<t ha'e an Ordination Certi=i9ate6 The words &ou are now readin( are &our ordination6
HOW TO *ECOME A POEE CHAP IN
-6 Write the ERISIAN AFFIRMATION in =i'e 9o#ies6 ;6 Si(n and noseG#rint ea9h 9o#&6 26 Send one to the President o= the United States6 U6 Send one to The Ca$i=ornia State *ureau o= Furniture and *eddin( -7;- <D< Street0 Sa9ra>ento CA .U1-U
56 Nai$ one to a te$e#hone #o$e6 Hide one6 And %urn the other6 Then 9onsu$t &our #inea$ ($and6
Genera$ i9ense was S(t6 Pe##er<s Co>>ander
CC O D POEE S OGAN CC When in Dou%t0 Fu9D it6 When not in Dou%t666 (et in Dou%tL
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC Tri# 5L
W The POEE *a#tis>a$ Rite W This M&steree Rite is not reIuired =or initiation0 %ut it is o==ered %& >an& POEE Priests to #rose$&tes who desire a =or>a$ 9ere>on&6
-: The Priests and =our *rothers are arran(ed in a #enta(on with the Initiate in the 9enter =a9in( the Priests6 I= #ossi%$e0 the *rothers on the i>>ediate ri(ht and $e=t o= the Priest shou$d %e Dea9ons6 The Initiate >ust %e tota$$& naDed0 to de>onstrate that he is tru$& a hu>an %ein( and not so>ethin( e$se in dis(uise $iDe a 9a%%a(e or so>ethin(6
;: A$$ #ersons in the audien9e and the #enta(on0 e"9e#tin( the Priest0 assu>e
a sIuattin( #osition and return to a standin( #osition6 This is re#eated =our >ore ti>es6 This dan9e is s&>%o$i9 o= the hu>i$it& o= we Erisians6
2: The Priest %e(ins+ I0 89o>#$ete Ho$& Na>e0 with M&sti9a$ Tit$es0 and de(rees0 desi(nations0 o==i9es0 Ot96:0 Ordained Priest o= the ParatheoGana>eta>&stiDhood o= Eris Esoteri90 with the Authorit& in'ested at >e %& the Hi(h Priest o= It0 O==i9e o= the Po$&=ather0 The House o= the Risin( Pod(e0 POEE Head Te>#$eN Do herewith ReIuire o= !e+
-: ARE !E A HUMAN *EING AND NOT A CA**AGE OR SOMETHINGJ The Initiate answers !ES6 ;: THAT<S TOO *AD6 DO !E WISH TO *ETTER TH!SE FJ The Initiate answers !ES6 I 2: HOW STUPID6 ARE !E WI UMINIKEDJ ING TO *ECOME PHI OSOPHICA !
He answers !ES6 U: PER! FUNN!6 WI MOPEMENTJ !E DEDICATE !ESE F TO THE HO E! ERISIAN
The Initiate answers PRO*A* !6 5: THEN SWEAR !E THE FO OWING AFTER ME+
8The Priest here $eads the Initiate in a re9ita$ o= THE ERISIAN AFFIRMATION6: The Priest 9ontinues+ THEN I DO HERE PROC AIM !E POEE DISCIP E 8na>e:0 EGIONNAIRE OF THE EGION OF D!NAMIC DISCORD6 HAI ERISL HAI HAI L HAI !ESL
U: A$$ #resent reHoi9e (rand$&6 The new *rother o#ens a $ar(e Hu( o= wine and o==ers it to a$$ who are #resent6
5: The Cere>on& (enera$$& de(enerates6
Mord sa&s that O>ar sa&s that we are a$$ uni9orns an&wa&6
DO NOT PU
ON !E
OW TIP
26 And thou(h O>ar did %id o= the Co$$e9tor o= Gar%a(e0 in words that were %oth sweet and %itter0 to surrender %a9D the 9i(ar %o" 9ontainin( the 9ards desi(nated %& the An(e$ as The Honest *ooD o= Truth0 the Co$$e9tor was to hi> as one who >i(ht %e s>itten dea=0 sa&in( on$&+ <Gainst the ru$es0 &< Dnow6 H*TN The *ooD o= E"#$anations0 Cha# ;
Answers+ -6 Harr& Houdini ;6 Swin( Musi9 26 PretEe$s U6 1 >onths 56 Test& Cu$%ert 36 It #rotrudes6 /6 No 'o9a$ 9ords
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC THE POEE M!STEREE OATH 57 The Initiate swears the =o$$owin(+ -. F !ING *A*! SHITLLLLL DMTS G2U77
8*rothers o= the An9ient I$$u>inated Seers o= *a'aria se9t >a& wish to su%stitute the Ger>an+ F IEGENDE )INDERSCHEISSEL or #erha#s WIECKN! )WIAT WTADKALLLLL whi9h is Ewi(e *$u>enDra=t in Po$ish6:
THE RECENT E,POSE THAT MR6 MOMOMOTO0 FAMOUS FAPANESE WHO CAN SWA OW HIS NOSE0 CANNOT SWA IS MR6 OW HIS NOSE *UT HIS *ROTHER CAN0 HAS *EEN E,POSEDL IT OW HIS NOSE6 HE SWA OWED HIS *ROTHER IN
MOMOMOTO WHO CAN SWA THE SUMMER OF <UU6
Corre9tions to $ast weeD<s 9o#&+ Fohnn& Sa>#$e is o==ensi'e 9orner%a9D =or the New !orD Fets0 not =u$$%a9D as stated6 *o%%& To$an<s na>e is not Rand&0 %ut >ud6 A$$ #ower to the #eo#$e0 and %an the =u9Din( %o>%6
MThis state>ent is =a$seM 89ourtes& o= POEE: CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC NO TWO ETUA S ARE THE SAMEL
THE DISCORDIAN SOCIET!
The Dis9ordian So9iet& has no de=inition6
I so>eti>es thinD o= it as a disor(aniEation o= Eris FreaDs6 It has %een 9a$$ed a (uerri$$a >ind theatre6 E#isDo#os Rando>=a9tor0 Dire9tor o= Pur(es o= Our Peo#$e<s Underwor$d Mo'e>ent se9t in ar9h>ont0 #re=ers MThe Wor$d<s Greatest Asso9iation o= WhatGe'erGitGisGthatGweGare6M ad& Ma$ thinDs o= it as a RENAISSANCE THIN) TAN)6 Fan( the Unwashed0 W)C0 won<t sa&6 !ou 9an thinD o= it an& wa& &ou $iDe6
AN EPIS)OPOS OF THE DISCORDIAN SOCIET! is one who #re=ers tota$ autono>&0 and 9reates his own Dis9ordian se9t as The Goddess dire9ts hi>6 He s#eaDs =or hi>se$= and =or those that sa& that the& $iDe what he sa&s6
THE EGION OF D!NAMIC DISCORD+ A Dis9ordian So9iet& e(ionnaire is one who #re=ers not to 9reate his own
se9t6
I= &ou want in on the Dis9ordian So9iet& then de9$are &ourse$= what &ou wish do what &ou $iDe and te$$ us a%out it or i= &ou #re=er don<t6
There are no ru$es an&where6 The Goddess Pre'ai$s6
So>e E#isDo#oses ha'e a oneG>an 9a%a$6 So>e worD to(ether6 So>e ne'er do e"#$ain6
When I (et to the %otto> I (o %a9D to the to# o= the s$ide where I sto# and I turn and I (o =or a ride0 then I (et to the %otto> and I see &ou a(ainL He$ter SDe$terL GFohn ennon
ME'er&%od& I Dnow who is ri(ht a$wa&s a(rees with MEM GRe' ad& Ma$
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC THE GO DEN APP E CORPS
The Go$den A##$e Cor#s* is an honorar& #osition =or the )ee#ers o= The Sa9red Chao0 so that the& 9an #ut M)SCM a=ter their na>es6
It sa&s $itt$e0 does $ess0 >eans nothin(6
* Not to %e 9on=used with The A##$e Cor#s td6 o= those =our sin(ers6 We thou(ht o= it =irst6
G The Nu>era$ P si(n G Used %& O$d Ro>an Dis9ordians0 I$$u>inatus Chur9hi$$0 and inno9ent Hi##ies e'er&where6
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC PERPETUA DATE CONPERTER FROM GREGORIAN TO POEE CA ENDAR
Seasons -: Chaos G Patron A#ost$e Hun( Mun( ;: Dis9ord G Patron A#ost$e Dr6 Pan Pan MoHo 2: Con=usion G Patron A#ost$e Sri S&adasti U: *ureau9ra9& G Patron A#ost$e Karathud 5: The A=ter>ath G Patron A#ost$e The E$der Ma$a9$&#se
Da&s o= the WeeD* -: Sweet>orn ;: *oo>ti>e
* The DA!S OF THE WEE) are na>ed =ro> the =i'e *asi9 E$e>ents+ SWEET0 *OOM0 PUNGENT0 PRIC) E0 and ORANGE
2: Pun(enda& U: Pri9D$eGPri9D$e 5: Settin( Oran(e
HO !DA!S
A: APOST E HO !DA!S -: Mun(da& ;: MoHoda& 2: S&ada& U: Karada& 5: Ma$ada& Ea9h o99urs on the 5th da& o= the Season
*: SEASON HO !DA!S -: Chao=$u" ;: Dis9o=$u" 2: Con=u=$u" U: *ure=$u" 5: A==$u" Ea9h o99urs on the 57th da& o= ea9h Season
C: ST6 TI*<S DA! G o99urs on9e e'er& U &ears 8-VUW5: and is inserted %etween the 5.th and 37th da&s o= the Season o= Chaos
SM *T PD PP SO GG GG GG GG GG
SM *T PD PP SO GG GG GG GG GG
Fan - ; 2 U 5 - ; 2 U 5 Chs Fu$ 5 3 / 1 . U7 U- U; U2 UU C=n 3 / 1 . -7 3 / 1 . -7 -- -; -2 -U -5 -- -; -2 -U -5 -3 -/ -1 -. ;7 -3 -/ -1 -. ;7 ;- ;; ;2 ;U ;5 ;- ;; ;2 ;U ;5 -7 -- -; -2 -U U5 U3 U/ U1 U. -5 -3 -/ -1 -. 57 5- 5; 52 5U ;7 ;- ;; ;2 ;U 55 53 5/ 51 5. ;5 ;3 ;/ ;1 ;. 37 3- 3; 32 3U
;3 ;/ ;1 ;. 27 ;3 ;/ ;1 ;. 27 2- - ; 2 U 2- 2; 22 2U 25 Fe% 5 3 / 1 . 23 2/ 21 2. U7 -7 -- -; -2 -U U- U; U2 UU U5 -5 -3 -/ -1 -. U3 U/ U1 U. 57 ;7 ;- ;; ;2 ;U 5- 5; 52 5U 55 ;5 ;3 ;/ ;1* - 53 5/ 51 5. 37 Mar ; 2 U 5 3 3- 3; 32 3U 35 / 1 . -7 -- 33 3/ 31 3. /7 -; -2 -U -5 -3 /- /; /2 - ; Ds9 -/ -1 -. ;7 ;- 2 U 5 3 / ;; ;2 ;U ;5 ;3 1 . -7 -- -; ;/ ;1 ;. 27 2- -2 -U -5 -3 -/ A#r - ; 2 U 5 -1 -. ;7 ;- ;; 3 / 1 . -7 ;2 ;U ;5 ;3 ;/ -- -; -2 -U -5 ;1 ;. 27 2- 2; -3 -/ -1 -. ;7 22 2U 25 23 2/ ;- ;; ;2 ;U ;5 21 2. U7 U- U; ;3 ;/ ;1 ;. 27 U2 UU U5 U3 U/ Ma& - ; 2 U 5 U1 U. 57 5- 5; 3 / 1 . -7 52 5U 55 53 5/ -- -; -2 -U -5 51 5. 37 3- 3; -3 -/ -1 -. ;7 32 3U 35 33 3/ ;- ;; ;2 ;U ;5 31 3. /7 /- /; ;3 ;/ ;1 ;. 27 /2 - ; 2 U C=n 2- - ; 2 U 5 3 / 1 .
27 2- - ; 2 35 33 3/ 31 3. Au( U 5 3 / 1 /7 /- /; /2 - *9& . -7 -- -; -2 ; 2 U 5 3 -U -5 -3 -/ -1 / 1 . -7 --. ;7 ;- ;; ;2 -; -2 -U -5 -3 ;U ;5 ;3 ;/ ;1 -/ -1 -. ;7 ;;. 27 2- - ; ;; ;2 ;U ;5 ;3 Se# 2 U 5 3 / ;/ ;1 ;. 27 21 . -7 -- -; 2; 22 2U 25 23 -2 -U -5 -3 -/ 2/ 21 2. U7 U-
-1 -. ;7 ;- ;; U; U2 UU U5 U3 ;2 ;U ;5 ;3 ;/ U/ U1 U. 57 5;1 ;. 27 - ; 5; 52 5U 55 53 O9t 2 U 5 3 / 5/ 51 5. 37 31 . -7 -- -; 3; 32 3U 35 33 -2 -U -5 -3 -/ 3/ 31 3. /7 /-1 -. ;7 ;- ;; /; /2 - ; 2 A=> ;2 ;U ;5 ;3 ;/ U 5 3 / 1 ;1 ;. 27 2- - . -7 -- -; -2 No' ; 2 U 5 3 -U -5 -3 -/ -1 / 1 . -7 -- -. ;7 ;- ;; ;2 -; -2 -U -5 -3 ;U ;5 ;3 ;/ ;1 -/ -1 -. ;7 ;- ;. 27 2- 2; 22 ;; ;2 ;U ;5 ;3 2U 25 23 2/ 21 ;/ ;1 ;. 27 - 2. U7 U- U; U2
De9 ; 2 U 5 3 UU U5 U3 U/ U1
Fun 5 3 / 1 . -7 -- -; -2 -U -7 -- -; -2 -U -5 -3 -/ -1 -. -5 -3 -/ -1 -. ;7 ;- ;; ;2 ;U ;7 ;- ;; ;2 ;U ;5 ;3 ;/ ;1 ;. ;5 ;3 ;/ ;1 ;. 27 2- 2; 22 2U 27 - ; 2 U 25 23 2/ 21 2.
/ 1 . -7 -- U. 57 5- 5; 52 -; -2 -U -5 -3 5U 55 53 5/ 51 -/ -1 -. ;7 ;- 5. 37 3- 3; 32 ;; ;2 ;U ;5 ;3 3U 35 33 3/ 31 ;/ ;1 ;. 27 2- 3. /7 /- /; /2 Z-..- W 2-5/[ZNe"t St6 Ti%s Da& in 2-51[
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC HO ! NAMES
Dis9ordians ha'e a tradition o= assu>in( HO ! NAMES6 This is not uniIue to Erisianis>0 o= 9ourse6 I su##ose that Po#e Pau$ is the son o= Mr6 and Mrs6 PIJ
Wi$$ whoe'er sto$e *rother Re'erend Ma(oun<s #orno(ra#h& #$ease return it6
THE *EARER OF THIS CARD IS A GENUINE AND AUTHORIKED
C POPE C So #$ease Treat Hi> Ri(ht GOOD FOREPER
Genuine and authoriEed %& The House o= A#ost$es o= ERIS GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG E'er& >an0 wo>an and 9hi$d on this Earth is a (enuine and authoriEed Po#e Re#rodu9e and distri%ute these 9ards =ree$&G POEE Head Te>#$e0 San Fran9is9o
A WPOPEW is so>eone who is not under the authorit& o= the authorities6
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC For !our En$i(hten>ent
THE PARA* E OF THE *ITTER TEA %& Re'6 Dr6 H&#o9rates Ma(oun0 P6P6 POEE PRIEST0 ODinawa Ca%a$
When H&#o9 was throu(h >editatin( with St6 Gu$iD0 he went there into the Dit9hen where he %usied hi>se$= with #re#arin( the =east and in his endea'or0 he =ound that there was so>e o$d tea in a #an $e=t standin( =ro> the ni(ht %e=ore0 when he had in his weaDness =or(ot a%out its >aDin( and had $et it sit stee#in( =or ;U hours6 It was darD and >urD& and it was H&#o9<s intention to use this o$d tea %& di$utin( it with water6 And a(ain in his
weaDness0 9hose without =urther 9onsideration and #$un(ed into the #h&si9a$ $a%or o= the #re#arations6 It was then when dee#$& i>>ersed in the #$easure o= that tri#0 he had a sudden $oud 9$ear 'oi9e in his head sa&in( Mit is %itter tea that in'o$'es &ou so6M H&#o9 heard the 'oi9e0 %ut the stru(($e inside intensi=ied0 and the #attern0 #re'ious$& esta%$ished with the #h&si9a$ $a%orin( and the >us9$e >essa(es 9oordinated and uni=ied or #erha#s 9oded0 9ontinued to e"ert their in=$uen9e and H&#o9 su99u>>ed to the #ressure and he denied the 'oi9e6 And a(ain he #$un(ed into the #h&si9a$ or(& and 9o>#$eted the tasD0 and o as the 'oi9e had #redi9ted0 the tea was %itter6
MThe Fi'e aws ha'e root in awareness6M GGChe Fun( 8EEra Pound0 Canto 15:
The He$$ aw sa&s that He$$ is reser'ed e"9$usi'e$& =or the> that %e$ie'e in it6 Further0 the $owest Run( in He$$ is reser'ed =or the> that %e$ie'e in it on the su##osition that the&<$$ (o there i= the& don<t6 H*TN The Gos#e$ A99ordin( to Fred0 2+-
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC A SERMON ON ETHICS AND OPE
One da& Ma$G; asDed the >essen(er s#irit Saint Gu$iD to a##roa9h the Goddess and reIuest Her #resen9e =or so>e des#erate ad'i9e6 Short$& a=terwards the radio 9a>e on %& itse$=0 and an etherea$ =e>a$e Poi9e said !ESJ
MOL ErisL *$essed Mother o= ManL Tueen o= ChaosL Dau(hter o= Dis9ordL Con9u%ine o= Con=usionL OL E"Iuisite ad&0 I %esee9h !ou to $i=t a hea'& %urden =ro> >& heartLM
WHAT *OTHERS !OU0 MA J !OU DON<T SOUND WE
MI a> =i$$ed with =ear and tor>ented with terri%$e 'isions o= #ain6 E'er&where #eo#$e are hurtin( one another0 the #$anet is ra>#ant with inHusti9es0 who$e so9ieties #$under (rou#s o= their own #eo#$e0 >others i>#rison sons0 9hi$dren #erish whi$e %rothers war6 O0 woe6M
WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH THAT0 IF IT IS WHAT !OU WANT TO DOJ
M*ut no%od& Wants itL E'er&%od& hates it6M
OH6 WE
0 THEN STOP6
At whi9h >o>ent She turned herse$= into an as#irin 9o>>er9ia$ and $e=t The Po$&=ather stranded a$one with his s#e9ies6
SINISTER DE,TER HAS A *RO)EN SPIROMETER6
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC CHAPTER 5+ THE PIONEERS
WTHE FIPE APOST ES OF ERIS O WHO THE! *E W
-6 HUNG MUNG A Sa(e o= An9ient China and O==i9ia$ Dis9ordian Missionar& to the Heathen Chinee6 He who ori(ina$$& de'ised THE SACRED CHAO6 Patron o= the Season o= Chaos6 Ho$&da&+ Fan 56
;6 DR6 PAN PAN MOFO A Head Do9tor o= Dee# A=ri9a and MaDer o= Fine Do$$s6 D6H6P60 Do9tor o= Hoodoo and Pe"es0 =ro> The Greater Metro#o$itan !or%a inda Fesus Wi$$ Sa'e !our *od Ho>e Stud& *i%$e S9hoo$N and F6I6H6G6W6P60 Fe$$ow o= the Inter(a$a9ti9 Haitian Guerri$$as =or Wor$d Pea9e6 Patron o= The Season o= Dis9ord6 Ho$&da&+ Mar -.6 ZNOTE+ Erisians o= The au(hin( Christ se9t are o= the si$$& 9ontention that Dr6 MoHo is an i>#oster and that PATAMUNKO INGANANDA is the True Se9ond A#ost$e6 ord O>ar 9$ai>s that Dr6 MoHo hea#s hatred u#on Pata>unEo0 who sends on$& o'e Pi%rations in return6 *ut we o= the POEE se9t Dnow that Pata>unEo is the Rea$ I>#oster0 and that those 'i%rations o= his are a9tua$$& an atte>#t to su%'ert Dr6 MoHo<s ri(ht=u$ a#osti$i9 authorit& %& shaDin( hi> out o= his wits6
26 SRI S!ADASTI S!ADAPA)TAP!A S!ADASTI S!ANNASTI S!ADASTI CAPA)TAP!ASCA S!ADASTI S!ANNASTI S!ADAPATAP!ASCA S!ADASTI S!ANNASTI S!ADAPA)TAP!ASCA 9o>>on$& 9a$$ed Hust SRI S!ADASTI His na>e is SansDrit0 and >eans+ A$$ a==ir>ations are true in so>e sense0 =a$se in so>e sense0 >eanin($ess in so>e sense0 true and =a$se in so>e sense0 true and >eanin($ess in so>e sense0 =a$se and >eanin($ess in so>e sense0 and true
and =a$se and >eanin($ess in so>e sense6 He is an Indian Pundit and Prin9e0 %orn o= the Pe&ot$ Tri%e0 son o= Gent$e Chie= Sun F$ower Seed and the sIuaw Merr& Fane6 Patron to #s&9hede$i9 t&#e Dis9ordians6 Patron o= the Season o= Con=usion6 Ho$&da&+ Ma& 2-6 NOTE+ Sri S&adasti shou$d not %e 9on=used with * ESSED ST6 GU I) THE STONED0 who is not the sa>e #erson %ut is the sa>e A#ost$e6
U6 KARATHUD THE INCORRIGI* E0 so>eti>es 9a$$ed KARATHUD THE STAUNCH A hard nosed Her>it o= Medie'a$ Euro#e and Chaos#he *i%$e *an(er6 Du%%ed MO==ender o= The Faith6M Dis9o'ered the Fi'e Co>>and>ents6 Patron o= the Season o= *ureau9ra9&6 Ho$&da&+ Au(6 -;
56 THE E DER MA AC !PSE A wanderin( Wise>an o= An9ient Mediterrania 8MMedGTerraM or >idd$e earth:0 who =o$$owed a 5G#ointed Star throu(h the a$$e&s o= Ro>e0 Da>as9us0 *a(hdad0 Ferusa$e>0 Me99a and Cairo0 %earin( a si(n that see>ed to read MDOOMM6 8This is a >isunderstandin(6 The si(n a9tua$$& read MDUM*M6 Ma$G- is a NonGPro#het6: Patron and na>esaDe o= Ma$G;6 Patron on The Season o= The A=ter>ath6 Ho$&da&+ O9t ;U6
A$$ state>ents are true in so>e sense0 =a$se in so>e sense0 >eanin($ess in so>e sense0 true and =a$se in so>e sense0 true and >eanin($ess in so>e sense0 =a$se and >eanin($ess in so>e sense0 and true and =a$se and >eanin($ess in so>e sense6 A #u%$i9 ser'i9e 9$ari=i9ation %& the Sri S&adasti S9hoo$ o= S#iritua$ Wisdo>0 Wi$>ette6
The tea9hin(s o= the Sri S&adasti S9hoo$ o= S#iritua$ S9hoo$ o= S#iritua$ Wisdo> are true in so>e sense0 =a$se in so>e sense0 >eanin($ess in so>e sense0 true and =a$se in so>e sense0 true and >eanin($ess in so>e sense0 =a$se and >eanin($ess in so>e sense0 and true and =a$se and >eanin($ess in so>e sense6 Pata>unEo in(ananda S9hoo$ o= Hi(her S#iritua$ Wisdo>0 SDoDie6
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC He& Man666GreatL I =ee$ (oo=&0 the wa& >& o$d >an $ooDs when he<s drunD6
THE HONEST *OO) OF TRUTH %ein( a *I* E o= The Erisian Mo'e>ent
and How it was Re'ea$ed to E#isDo#os ORD OMAR )HA!!AM RAPENHURST0 )SCN *u$$ Goose o= i>%oN and Master Pastor o= the Chur9h In'isi%$e o= the au(hin( Christ0 Hidden Te>#$e o= The Ha##& Fesus0 au(hin( *uddha Fesus Z *F[ Ran9h
Fro> the Honest *ooD o= Truth THE *OO) OF E,P ANATIONS0 Cha#ter -
-6 There 9a>e one da& to ord O>ar0 *u$$ Goose o= i>%o0 a Messen(er o= Our ad& who to$d hi> o= a Sa9red Mound wherein was %uried an
Honest *ooD6
;6 And the An(e$ o= Eris %ade o= the ord+ Go &e hen9e and di( the Truth0 that &e >a& 9o>e to Dnow it and0 Dnowin( it0 s#read it and0 s#readin( it0 wa$$ow in it and0 wa$$owin( in it0 $ie in it and 0$&in( in the Truth0 %e9o>e a Poet o= the Word and a Sa&er o= Sa&in(s GG an Ins#iration to a$$ >en and a S9ri%e to the Gods6
26 So O>ar went =orth to the Sa9red Mound0 whi9h was to the East o= Mu$$ah0 and thereu#on he worDed di((in( in the sand =or =i'e da&s and =i'e ni(hts0 %ut =ound no %ooD6
U6 At the end o= =i'e da&s and =i'e ni(hts o= di((in(0 it 9a>e to #ass that O>ar was e"hausted6 So he #ut his sho'e$ to one side and %edded hi>se$= down on the sand0 usin( as a #i$$ow a Go$den Chest he had un9o'ered on the =irst da& o= his $a%ors6
56 O>ar s$e#t6
36 On the =i=th da& o= his s$ee#in(0 ord O>ar =e$$ into a Tran9e0 and there 9a>e to hi> in the Tran9e a Drea>0 and there 9a>e to hi> in the Drea> a Messen(er o= Our ad& who to$d hi> o= a Sa9red Gro'e wherein was hidden a Go$den Chest6
/6 And the An(e$ o= Eris %ade o= the ord+ Go &e hen9e and $i=t the Stash0 that &e >a& 9o>e to own it and0 ownin( it0 share it and0
sharin( it0 $o'e in it and0 $o'in( in it0 dwe$$ in it and0 dwe$$in( in the Stash0 %e9o>e a Poet o= the Word and a Sa&er o= Sa&in(s G an Ins#iration to a$$ >en and a S9ri%e to the Gods6
16 *ut O>ar $a>ented0 sa&in( unto the An(e$+ What is this shit0>anJ What 9are I =or the Word and Sa&in(sJ What 9are I =or the Ins#iration o= a$$ >enJ Wherein does it #ro=it a >an to %e a S9ri%e to the Gods when the S9ri%es o= the Go'ern>ents do nothin(0 &et are #aid %etter wa(esJ
.6 And0 $o0 the An(e$ wa"ed in an(er and O>ar was stri9Den to the Ground %& an In'isi%$e Hand and did not arise =or =i'e da&s and =i'e ni(hts6
-76 And it 9a>e to #ass that on the =i=th ni(ht he drea>#t0 and in his Drea> he had a Pision0 and in this Pision there 9a>e unto hi> a Messen(er o= Our ad& who entrusted to hi> a Ri(o$etto 9i(ar %o" 9ontainin( >an& =i$in( 9ards0 so>e o= the> in #a9Ds with ru%%er %ands around0 and u#on these 9ards were so>eti>es written 'erses0 whi$e u#on others nothin( was written6
--6 Thereu#on the An(e$ Co>>anded to ord+ TaDe &e this Honest *ooD o= Truth to thine %oso> and 9herish it6 Carr& it =orth into The and and a& it %e=ore )in(s o= Nations and Co$$e9tors o= Gar%a(e6 Prea9h =ro> it unto the Ri(hteous0 that the& >a& renoun9e their wa&s and re#ent6
CONPENTIONA CHAOS
GRE!FACE
In the &ear --33 *6C60 a >a$9ontented hun9h%rain %& the na>e o= Gre&=a9e0 (ot it into his head that the uni'erse was as hu>or$ess as he0 and he %e(an to tea9h that #$a& was sin=u$ %e9ause it 9ontradi9ted the wa&s o= Serious Order6 M ooD at a$$ the order around &ou0M he said6 And =ro> that0 he de$uded honest >en to %e$ie'e that rea$it& was a strai(htHa9Det a==air and not the ha##& ro>an9e as >en had Dnown it6
It is not #resent$& understood wh& >en were so (u$$i%$e at that #arti9u$ar ti>e0 =or a%so$ute$& no one thou(ht to o%ser'e a$$ the disorder around the> and 9on9$ude Hust the o##osite6 *ut an&wa&0 Gre&=a9e and his =o$$owers tooD the (a>e o= #$a&in( at $i=e >ore serious$& than the& tooD $i=e itse$= and were Dnown e'en to destro& other $i'in( %ein(s whose wa&s o= $i=e di==ered =ro> their own6
The un=ortunate resu$t o= this is that >anDind has sin9e %een su==erin( =ro> a #s&9ho$o(i9a$ and s#iritua$ i>%a$an9e6 I>%a$an9e 9auses =rustration0 and =rustration 9auses =ear6 And =ear >aDes =or a %ad tri#6 Man has %een on a %ad tri# =or a $on( ti>e now6
It is 9a$$ed THE CURSE OF GRE!FACE6
*u$$shit >aDes the =$owers (row O that<s %eauti=u$6
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC C$i>% into the Chao with a =riend or two And =o$$ow the Wa& it 9arries &ou0 Adri=t $iDe a unati9 i=e%oat Crew O'er the Wa'es in whate'er &ou do6 8H*TN The *ooD o= Ad'ise0 -+2:
Z(ra#hi9 de$eted666 i= &ou wanna see it0 READ THE *OO)[
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC Meanwhi$e0 at the Chinese $aundro>at666
DOGMA I G METAPH!SICS Q;0 MCOSMO OG!M*
THE *OO) OF UTERUS =ro> the Honest *ooD o= Truth re'ea$ed to ord O>ar
-6 *e=ore the %e(innin( was the None"istent Chao0 %a$an9ed in O%$i'ion %& the
Per=e9t Counter#ush#u$$ o= the Hod(e and the Pod(e6
;6 Whereu#on0 %& an A9t o= Ha##enstan9e0 the Hod(e %e(an (radua$$& to o'er#ower the Pod(e GG and the Pri>a$ Chaos there%& 9a>e to %e6
26 So in the %e(innin( was the Pri>a$ Chaos0 %a$an9ed on the Ed(e o= O%$i'ion %& the Per=e9t Counter#u$$#ush o= the Pod(e and the Hod(e6
U6 Whereu#on0 %& the aw o= Ne(ati'e Re'ersa$0** the Pod(e swi=t$& under#owered the Hod(e and E'er&thin( %roDe $oose6
56 And therein e>er(ed the A9ti'e For9e o= Dis9ord0 the Su%t$e Mani=estation o= the None"istent Chao0 to (uide E'er&thin( a$on( the Path %a9D to O%$i'ion G that it >i(ht not %e9o>e $ost a>on( Pre9e#ts o= Order in the Re(ion o= Thud6
36 Foras>u9h as it was A9ti'e0 the For9e o= Dis9ord entered the State o= Con=usion0 wherein It 9o#u$ated with the Tueen and %e(at ERIS0 Our ad& o= Dis9ord and Gross Mani=estation o= the None"istent Chao6
/6 And under Eris Con=usion %e9a>e esta%$ished0 and was hen9e 9a$$ed *ureau9ra9&N whi$e o'er *ureau9ra9& Eris %e9a>e esta%$ished0 and was hen9e 9a$$ed Dis9ordia6
16 *& the %& it 9a>e to #ass that the Esta%$ish>ent o= *ureau9ra9& #erished in a #a#er shorta(e6
.6 Thus it was0 in a99ord with the aw o= aws6
-76 Durin( and a=ter the Fa$$ o= the Esta%$ish>ent o= *ureau9ra9& was the A=ter>ath0 an A(e o= Disorder in whi9h 9a$9u$ation0 9o>#utations0 and re9Donin(s were #ut awa& %& the Chi$dren o= Eris in A99e#tan9e and Pre#aration =or the Return to O%$i'ion to %e =o$$owed %& a Re#etition o= the Uni'ersa$ A%surdit&6 Moreo'er0 o= Itse$= the Co>in( o= A=ter>ath waseth a Resurre9tion o= the Freedo>G=$owin( Chaos6 HAI ERISL
--6 Herein was set into >otion the Eristi9 Pattern0 whi9h wou$d Re#eat Itse$= Fi'e Ti>es O'er Se'ent&Gthree Ti>es0 a=ter whi9h nothin( wou$d ha##en6 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX * This do9trine shou$d not %e 9on=used with DOGMA III G HISTOR! Q30 MHISTORIC C!C ES0M whi9h states that so9ia$ #ro(ress o99urs in =i'e 9&9$es0 the =irst three 8MThe Tri9&9$eM: o= whi9h are THESIS0 ANTITHESIS and PARENTHESISN and the $ast two 8Mthe *i9&9$eM: o= whi9h are CONSTERNATION and MORA WARPTITUDE6
** The AW OF NEGATIPE REPERSA states that i= so>ethin( does not ha##en then the e"a9t o##osite wi$$ ha##en0 on$& in e"a9t$& the o##osite >anner =ro> that in whi9h it did not ha##en6
Du$$ %ut Sin9ere Fi$$er CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC MAnd0 %eho$d0 thus$& was the aw =or>u$ated+ I>#osition o= Order W es9a$ation
o= DisorderLM ZH6*6T6 N The Gos#e$ A99ordin( to Fred0 -+3[
THE FIPE ORDERS OF DISCORDIA 8MTHEMM: Gen6 Pandae>oniu>0 Co>>andin(
The seeds o= the ORDERS OF DISCORDIA were #$anted %& Gre&=a9e into his ear$& dis9i#$es6 The& =or> the sDe$eton o= the Aneristi9 Mo'e>ent0 whi9h o'er e>#hasiEes the Prin9i#$e o= Order and is anta(onisti9 to the ne9essar& 9o>#$i>ent0 the Prin9i#$e o= Disorder6 The Orders are 9o>#osed o= #ersons a$$ hun( u# on authorit&0 se9urit& and 9ontro$N i6e60 the& are %$inded %& the Aneristi9 I$$usion6 The& do not Dnow that the& %e$on( to Orders o= Dis9ordia6 *ut we Dnow6
-6 The Mi$itar& Order o= THE )NIGHTS OF THE FIPE SIDED TEMP E6 This is =or a$$ the so$diers and %ureau9rats o= the wor$d6
;6 The Po$iti9a$ Order o= THE PART! FOR WAR ON EPI 6 This is reser'ed =or $aw>aDers0 9ensors0 and $iDe i$D6
26 The A9ade>i9 Order o= THE HEM OC) FE s9hoo$s and uni'ersities0 and do>inate >an& o= the>6
OWSHIP6 The& 9o>>on$& inha%it
U6 The So9ia$ Order o= THE CITIKENS COMMITTEE FOR CONCERNED CITIKENS6 This is >ost$& a (rassGroots 'ersion o= the >ore #ro=essiona$ >i$itar&0 #o$iti9a$0
a9ade>i9 and sa9red Orders6
56 The Sa9red Order o= THE DEFAMATION EAGUE6 Not >u9h is Dnown a%out the D6 60 %ut the& are 'er& an9ient and Iuite #ossi%$& were =ounded %& Gre&=a9e hi>se$=6 It is Dnown that the& now ha'e a%so$ute do>ination o'er a$$ or(aniEed 9hur9hes in the wor$d6 It is a$so %e$ie'ed that the& ha'e %een 9ostu>in( 9a%%a(es and #assin( the> o== as hu>an %ein(s6
A #erson %e$on(in( to one or >ore Order is Hust as $iDe$& to 9arr& a =$a( o= the 9ounterGesta%$ish>ent as the =$a( o= the esta%$ish>entGG Hust as $on( as it is a =$a(6
Don<t $et THEM i>>anentiEe the Es9haton6
HIPG;G2GU0 HIPG;G2GU Go To !our e=tGRi(ht6666
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC THE FO OWING IS TUOTED FROM *ERGAN EPANS
ON NOR*ERT WEINER0 NUC EAR PH!SICIST
The se9ond 9on9e#t Wiener has to esta%$ish is that o= entro#&6 Pro%a%i$it& is a >athe>ati9a$ 9on9e#t0 9o>in( =ro> statisti9s6 Entro#& 9o>es =ro> #h&si9s6 It is the assertionGG esta%$ished $o(i9a$$& and e"#eri>enta$$&GG
that the uni'erse0 %& its nature0 is Mrunnin( downM0 >o'in( toward a state o= inert uni=or>it& de'oid o= =or>0 >atter0 hierar9h& or di==erentiation6
That is0 in an& (i'en situation0 $ess or(aniEation0 >ore 9haos0 is o'erwhe$>in($& >ore #ro%a%$e than ti(hter or(aniEation or >ore order6
The tenden9& =or entro#& to in9rease in iso$ated s&ste>s is e"#ressed in the se9ond $aw o= ther>od&na>i9sGG #erha#s the >ost #essi>isti9 and a>ora$ =or>u$ation in a$$ hu>an thou(ht6
It a##$ies howe'er0 to a 9$osed s&ste>0 to so>ethin( that is an iso$ated who$e0 not Hust a #art6 Within su9h s&ste>s there >a& %e #arts0 whi9h draw their ener(& =ro> the who$e0 that are >o'in( at $east te>#orari$&0 in the o##osite dire9tionN in the> order is in9reasin( and 9haos is di>inishin(6
The whir$#oo$s that swir$ in a dire9tion o##osed to the >ain 9urrent are 9a$$ed Men9$a'esM6 And one o= the> is $i=e0 es#e9ia$$& hu>an $i=e0 whi9h in a uni'erse >o'in( ine"ora%$& towards 9haos >o'es towards in9reased order6
IF THE TE EPHONE RINGS TODA!66666 WATER ITL GRe'6 Tho>as0 Gnosti9 N6!6C6 Ca%a$
Persona$
P ANETAR! Pi0 whi9h I dis9o'ered0 is 3-6 It<s a Ti>eGEner(& re$ationshi# e"istin( %etween sun and inner #$ants and I use it in arri'in( at >an& =a9ts unDnown to s9ien9e6 For e"a>#$e0 >u$ti#$& nude earth<s 9ir9u>=eren9e ;U0.7;6;7353 %& 3- and &ou (et the distan9e o= >oon<s or%it around the earth6 This is s$i(ht$& $ess than the a9tua$ distan9e %e9ause we ha'e not &et 9onsidered earth<s at>os#here6 So %e it6 Christo#her Garth0 E'anston
MI shou$d ha'e %een a #$u>%er6M GGA$%ert Einstein CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC MGrassho##er a$wa&s wron( in ar(u>ent with 9hi9DenM G*ooD o= Chan 9o>#i$ed %& O6P6U6 se9t
W KARATHUD<S EN IGHTENMENT W
*e=ore he %e9a>e a her>it0 Karathud was a &oun( Priest0 and tooD (reat de$i(ht in >aDin( =oo$s o= his o##onents in =ront o= his =o$$owers6
One da& Karathud tooD his students to a #$easant #asture and there he 9on=ronted The Sa9red Chao whi$e She was 9ontented$& (raEin(6
MTe$$ >e0 &ou du>% %east6M de>anded the Priest in his 9o>>andin( 'oi9e0 Mwh& don<t &ou do so>ethin( worthwhi$e6 What is &our Pur#ose in i=e0 an&wa&JM
Mun9hin( the tast& (rass0 The Sa9red Chao re#$ied MMUM6*
U#on hearin( this0 a%so$ute$& no%od& was en$i(htened6 Pri>ari$& %e9ause no%od& 9ou$d understand Chinese6
* MMUM is the Chinese ideo(ra> =or NOGTHING
TAO FA TSUGDAN
FIND PEACE WITH A CONTENTED CHAO
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC THE SACRED CHAO
THE SACRED CHAO is the De& to i$$u>ination6 De'ised %& the A#ost$e Hun( Mun( in an9ient China0 it was >odi=ied and #o#u$ariEed %& the Taoists and is so>eti>es 9a$$ed the !ING!ANG6 The Sa9red Chao is not the !inG!an( o= the Taoists6 It is the HODGEGPODGE o= the Erisians6 And0 instead o= a Pod(e s#ot on the Hod(e side0 it has a PENTAGON whi9h s&>%o$iEes the ANERISTIC PRINCIP E0 and instead o= a Hod(e s#ot on the Pod(e side0 it de#i9ts the GO DEN APP E OF DISCORDIA to s&>%o$iEe the ERISTIC PRINCIP E6
The Sa9red Chao s&>%o$iEes a%so$ute$& e'er&thin( an&one need e'er Dnow a%out a%so$ute$& an&thin(0 and >oreL It e'en s&>%o$iEes e'er&thin( not worth
Dnowin(0 de#i9ted %& the e>#t& s#a9e surroundin( the Hod(eGPod(e6
HERE FO
OWS SOME PS!CHOGMETAPH!SICS6
I= &ou are not hot =or #hi$oso#h&0 %est Hust to sDi# it6
The Aneristi9 Prin9i#$e is that o= APPARENT ORDERN the Eristi9 Prin9i#$e is that o= APPARENT DISORDER6 *oth order and disorder are >an >ade 9on9e#ts and are arti=i9ia$ di'isions o= PURE CHAOS0 whi9h is a $e'e$ dee#er that is the $e'e$ o= distin9tion >aDin(6
With our 9on9e#t >aDin( a##aratus 9a$$ed M>indM we $ooD at rea$it& throu(h the ideasGa%outGrea$it& whi9h our 9u$tures (i'e us6 The ideasGa%outGrea$it& are >istaDen$& $a%e$ed Mrea$it&M and unen$i(htened #eo#$e are =ore'er #er#$e"ed %& the =a9t that other #eo#$e0 es#e9ia$$& other 9u$tures0 see Mrea$it&M di==erent$&6 It is on$& the ideasGa%outGrea$it& whi9h di==er6 Rea$ 89a#ita$GT True: rea$it& is a $e'e$ dee#er that is the $e'e$ o= 9on9e#t6
We $ooD at the wor$d throu(h windows on whi9h ha'e %een drawn (rids 89on9e#ts:6 Di==erent #hi$oso#hies use di==erent (rids6 A 9u$ture is a (rou# o= #eo#$e with rather si>i$ar (rids6 Throu(h a window we 'iew 9haos0 and re$ate it to the #oints on our (rid0 and there%& understand it6 The ORDER is in the GRID6 That is the Aneristi9 Prin9i#$e6
Western #hi$oso#h& is traditiona$$& 9on9erned with 9ontrastin( one (rid with another (rid0 and a>endin( (rids in ho#es o= =indin( a #er=e9t one
that wi$$ a99ount =or a$$ rea$it& and wi$$0 hen9e0 8sa& unen$i(htened westerners: %e True6 This is i$$usor&N it is what we Erisians 9a$$ the ANERISTIC I USION6 So>e (rids 9an %e >ore use=u$ than others0 so>e >ore
%eauti=u$ than others0 so>e >ore #$easant than others0 et960 %ut none 9an %e >ore True than an& other6
DISORDER is si>#$& unre$ated in=or>ation 'iewed throu(h so>e #arti9u$ar (rid6 *ut0 $iDe Mre$ationM0 noGre$ation is a 9on9e#t6 Ma$e0 $iDe =e>a$e0 is an idea a%out se"6 To sa& that >a$eGness is Ma%sen9e o= =e>a$eGnessM0 or 'i9e 'ersa0 is a >atter o= de=inition and >eta#h&si9a$$& ar%itrar&6 The arti=i9ia$ 9on9e#t o= noGre$ation is the ERISTIC PRINCIP E6
The %e$ie= that Morder is trueM and disorder is =a$se or so>ehow wron(0 is the Aneristi9 I$$usion6 To sa& the sa>e o= disorder0 is the ERISTIC I USION6
The #oint is that 8$itt$eGt: truth is a >atter o= de=inition re$ati'e to the (rid one is usin( at the >o>ent0 and that 89a#ita$GT: Truth0 >eta#h&si9a$ rea$it&0 is irre$e'ant to (rids entire$&6 Pi9D a (rid0 and throu(h it so>e 9haos a##ears ordered and so>e a##ears disordered6 Pi9D another (rid0 and the sa>e 9haos wi$$ a##ear di==erent$& ordered and disordered6
Rea$it& is the ori(ina$ Rors9ha9h6
Peri$&L So >u9h =or a$$ that6
The words o= the Foo$ish and those o= the Wise Are not =ar a#art in Dis9ordian E&es6 8H*TN The *ooD o= Ad'ise0 ;+-:
The PODGE o= the Sa9red Chao is s&>%o$iEed as The Go$den A##$e o= Dis9ordia0 whi9h re#resents the Eristi9 Prin9i#$e o= Disorder6 The writin( on it0 M)A ISTIM is GreeD =or MTO THE PRETTIEST ONEM and re=ers to an o$d >&th a%out
The Goddess6 *ut the GreeDs had on$& a $i>ited understandin( o= Disorder0 and thou(ht it to %e a ne(ati'e #rin9i#$e6
The Penta(on re#resents the Aneristi9 Prin9i#$e o= Order and s&>%o$iEes the HODGE6 The Penta(on has se'era$ re=eren9esN =or one00 it 9an %e taDen to re#resent (eo>etr&0 one o= the ear$iest studies o= =or>a$ order to rea9h e$a%orate de'e$o#>entN* =or another0 it s#e9i=i9a$$& a99ords with THE AW OF FIPES6
THE TRUTH IS FIPE *UT MEN HAPE ON ! ONE NAME FOR IT6 GPata>unEo in(ananda
It is a$so the sha#e o= the United States Mi$itar& HeadIuarters0 the Penta(on *ui$din(0 a >ost #re(nant >ani=estation o= strai(htHa9Det order restin( on a =ir> =oundation o= 9haos and 9onstant$& eru#tin( into daEE$in( disorderN and this %ui$din( is one o= our >ore 9herished Erisian Shrines6 A$so it so ha##ens that in ti>es o= >edie'a$ >a(i90 the #enta(on was the (eneri9 s&>%o$ =or werewo$'es0 %ut this re=eren9e is not #arti9u$ar$& intended and it shou$d %e
noted that the Erisian Mo'e>ent does not dis9ri>inate a(ainst werewo$'esGG our >e>%ershi# roster is o#en to #ersons o= a$$ ra9es0 nationa$ ori(ins and ho%%ies6
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX * The GreeD (eo>etri9ian P!THAGORAS0 howe'er0 was not a t&#i9a$ aneristi9 #ersona$it&6 He was what we 9a$$ an E,P ODED ANERISTIC and an APATAR6 We 9a$$ hi> Ar9han($e P&tha(oras6
Zdia(ra> o= HODGEAPODGE TRANSFORMER de$eted666 DtC[
56 Hun( Mun( s$a##ed his %utto9Ds0 ho##ed a%out0 and shooD his head0 sa&in( MI do not DnowL I do not DnowLM H*TN The *ooD o= GooDs0 Cha#6 CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC *RUNSWIC) SHRINE
In the os An(e$es su%ur% o= Whittier there $i'es a %ow$in( a$$e&0 and within this 'er& #$a9e0 in the !ear o= Our ad& o= Dis9ord 2-;5 8-.5.*:0 Eris re'ea$ed Herse$= to The Go$den A##$e Cor#s =or the =irst ti>e6
In honor o= this In9redi%$e E'ent0 this Ho$& P$a9e is re'ered as a Shrine %& a$$ Erisians6 On9e e'er& =i'e &ears0 the Go$den A##$e Cor#s #$ans a Pi$(ri>a(e to *runswi9D Shrine as an a9t o= De'otion0 and therein to #artaDe o= No Hot Do( *uns0 and ru>inate a %it a%out It A$$6
It is written that when The Cor#s returns to The Shrine =or the =i=th ti>e =i'e ti>es o'er0 than sha$$ the wor$d 9o>e to an end+
IMPENDING DOOM HAS ARRIPED And Fi'e Da&s Prior to This O99asion The A#ost$e The E$der Ma$a9$&#se Sha$$ Wa$D the Streets o= Whittier *earin( a Si(n =or A$$ iterates to Read thereo=+ MDOOMM0 as a Warnin( o= Forth9o>in( Doo> to A$$ Men I>#endin(6 And He Sha$$ Si(na$ This E'ent %& SeeDin( the Poor and Distri%utin( to The> Pre9ious MAO *UTTONS and Whittier Sha$$ %e )nown as The Re(ion o= Thud =or These Fi'e Da&s6
As a #u%$i9 ser'i9e to a$$ >anDind and 9i'i$iEation in (enera$0 and to us in #arti9u$ar0 the Go$den A##$e Cor#s has 9on9$uded that #$annin( su9h a Pi$(ri>a(e is su==i9ient and that it is #rudent to ne'er (et around to a9tua$$& (oin(6 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX * Or >a&%e it was -.510 I =or(et6
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC STAR*UC)<S PE** ES Is Rea$J Whi9h
Do these 5 #e%%$es Znote+ the& were #e%%$es0ori(ina$$&66tr& doin( ASCII #e%%$es GDtC[ REA ! =or> a #enta(onJ
Those %iased %& the Aneristi9 I$$usion wou$d sa& &es6 Those %iased %& the Eristi9 I$$usion wou$d sa& no6 CrissG9ross the> and it is a star6
An I$$u>inated Mind 9an see a$$ o= these0 &et he does not insist that an& one is rea$$& true0 or that none at a$$ is true6 Stars0 and #enta(ons0 and disorder are a$$ his 9reations and he >a& do with the> as he wishes6 Indeed0 e'en so the 9on9e#t o= nu>%er 56
The rea$ rea$it& is there0 %ut e'er&thin( &ou )NOW a%out MitM is in &our >ind and &ours to do with as &ou $iDe6 Con9e#tua$iEation is art0 and !OU ARE THE ARTIST6
Con'i9tions 9ause 9on'i9ts6
Can &ou 9hart the COURSE
to Ca#tain Pa$entine<s SWEETHEARTJ
He>$o9DJ I ne'er tou9h the stu==L
When I was 1 or . &ears o$d0 I a9Iuired a s#$it %ea'er >a(aEine6 !ou 9an i>a(ine >& disa##oint>ent when0u#on e"a>ination o= the #hotos with a >i9ros9o#e0 I =ound that a$$ I 9ou$d see was dots6
/6 Ne'er write in #en9i$ un$ess &ou are on a train or si9D in %ed6
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC ERIS CONTEMP ATES FOR 2-;5 !EARS GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGPunGHa% is SiDh0 SiDh0 SiDhLGGGGGGGG
THE PARATHEOGANAMETAM!STI)HOOD OF ERIS ESOTERIC 8POEE: A NonG#ro#het Irre$i(ious Disor(aniEation
MA AC !PSE THE !OUNGER0 )SC O>ni%ene'o$ent Po$&=ather o= Pir(init& in Go$d HIGH PRIEST
THE ERISIAN MOPEMENT ERIS 8,: O==i9ia$ *usiness 8 :Surre#titious *usiness
HOUSE OF APOST ES OF #a(e - o= - #a(es
O==i9ia$ Dis9ordian Do9u>ent Nu>%er 8i= a##$i9a%$e:+ nAa 8 : the Go$den A##$e Cor#s 8,:House o= Dis9i#$es o= Dis9ordia The *ureau9ra9&0 *ureau o=+ DOGMAS 8 : Coun9i$ o= E#isDo#oses+ O==i9e o= Hi(h Priesthood0 Se9t o= the POEE 8 : Drawer o XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX Toda&<s DATE+ da& o= the Carrot &esterda&<s DATE+ !es GRSG
Ori(inatin( Ca%a$+ Foshua Norton Ca%a$ G San Fran9is9o TO+ REP6 RAMPANT PANCREAS0 tRRoCR8a:#ttMN Co$orado En9rustation
*rother Ra>0
!our a9ute o%ser'ation that ERIS s#e$$ed %a9Dwards is SIRE0 and &our in=eren9e to the e==e9t that there is se"ua$ s&>%o$is> here0 ha'e %rou(ht >e to so>e o%ser'ations o= >& own0
ERIS s#e$$ed =oreG#artGa=tGwards is RISE6 And s#e$$ed inside out is REIS0 whi9h is a unit o= >one&0 a$%eit Portu(eseG*raEi$ian and no $on(er in use6 Fro> this it >a& %e 9on9$uded that Eris has usur#ed Eros 8(od o= eroti9 $o'e: in the e&es o= those who read %a9DwardsN whi9h o%'ious$& >ade Eros sorE6 Then She a##arent$& e>%eEEe$ed the O$&>#ian Treasur& and went to *raEi$N whereu#on She o#ened a 9hain o= whorehouses 8whi9h 9ertain$& wou$d (et a rise =ro> the >a$e #o#u$ation:6 I =i(ure it to %e this in #arti9u$ar %e9ause MADAM reads the
sa>e =orwards and %a9Dwards6 And =urther0 it is a ter> o= (reat res#e9t0 si>i$ar to SIRE6
And so thanD &ou =or &our insi(ht0 it >a& we$$ %e the 9$ue to the >&ster& o= Hust where Eris has %een =u9Din( around =or 2-;56
FIPE TONS OF F A,L GRSG Ma$G;
Not =or Cir9u$ationL
)A
ISTI
HAI ERIS
HAI DISCORDIA
sa=e(uard this $etter0 it >a& %e an i>#ortant do9u>ent
For> No6+ O6D6D6 II%Aii6-G2/D6PPM+2-2U XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXX CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC DOGMA III G HISTOR! Q;0 MCOSMOGON!M whi9h is not the sa>e as DOGMA I G METAPH!SICS Q;0 MCOSMO OG!M 8*ooD o= Uterus:
In the %e(innin( there was POID0 who had two dau(htersN one 8the s>a$$er: was that o= *EING0 na>ed ERIS0 and one 8the $ar(er: was o= NONG*EING0 na>ed ANERIS6 8To this da&0 the =unda>enta$ truth that Aneris is the $ar(er is a##arent to a$$ who 9o>#are the (reat nu>%er o= thin(s that do not e"ist with the 9o>#arati'e$& s>a$$ nu>%er o= thin(s that do e"ist6:
Eris had %een %orn #re(nant0 and a=ter 55 &ears 8Goddesses ha'e an unusua$$& $on( (estation #eriodGG $on(er e'en than e$e#hants:0 Her #re(nan9& %ore the =ruits o= >an& thin(s6 These thin(s were 9o>#osed o= the Fi'e *asi9 E$e>ents0 SWEET0 *OOM0 PUNGENT0 PRIC) E0 and ORANGE6 Aneris0 howe'er0 had %een 9reated steri$e6 When she saw Eris enHo&in( Herse$= so (reat$& with a$$ o= the e"istent thin(s She had %orne0 Aneris %e9a>e Hea$ous and =ina$$& one da& she sto$e so>e e"istent thin(s and 9han(ed the> into nonGe"istent thin(s and 9$ai>ed the> as her own 9hi$dren6 This dee#$& hurt Eris0 who =e$t that Her sister was unHust 8%ein( so >u9h $ar(er an&wa&: to den& Her her s>a$$ Ho&6 And so She >ade herse$= swe$$ a(ain to %ear >ore thin(s6 And She swore that no >atter how >an& o= her %e(otten that Aneris wou$d stea$0 She wou$d %e(et >ore6 And0 in return0 Aneris swore that no >atter how >an& e"istent thin(s Eris %rou(ht =orth0 she wou$d e'entua$$& =ind the> and turn the> into nonGe"istent thin(s =or her own6 8And to this da&0 thin(s a##ear and disa##ear in this 'er& >anner6:
At =irst0 the thin(s %rou(ht =orth %& Eris were in a state o= 9haos and went in e'er& whi9h wa&0 %ut %& the %& She %e(an #$a&in( with the> and ordered so>e o= the> Hust to see what wou$d ha##en6 So>e #rett& thin(s arose
=ro> this #$a& and =or the ne"t =i'e Ei$$ion &ears She a>used Herse$= %& 9reatin( order6 And so She (rou#ed so>e thin(s with others and so>e (rou#s with others0 and %i( (rou#s with $itt$e (rou#s0 and a$$ 9o>%inations unti$ She had >an& (rand s9he>es whi9h de$i(hted Her6
En(rossed in esta%$ishin( order0 She =ina$$& one da& noti9ed disorder 8#re'ious$& not a##arent %e9ause e'er&thin( was 9haos:6 There were >an& wa&s in whi9h 9haos was ordered and >an& wa&s in whi9h it was not6
MHah0M She thou(ht0 MHere sha$$ %e a new (a>e6M
And She tau(ht order and disorder to #$a& with ea9h other in 9ontest (a>es0 and to taDe turns a>usin( ea9h other6 She na>ed the side o= disorder a=ter Herse$=0 MERISTICM %e9ause *ein( is anar9hi96 And then0 in a >ood o= s&>#ath& =or Her $one$& sister0 She na>ed the other side MANERISTICM whi9h =$attered Aneris and s>oothed the =ri9tion a $itt$e that was %etween the>6
Now a$$ o= this ti>e0 Poid was so>ewhat distur%ed6 He =e$t unsatis=ied =or he had 9reated on$& #h&si9a$ e"isten9e and #h&si9a$ nonGe"isten9e0 and had ne($e9ted the s#iritua$6 As he 9onte>#$ated this0 a (reat Tuiet was 9aused and he went into a state o= Dee# S$ee# whi9h $asted =or 5 eras6 At the end o= this ordea$0 he %e(at a %rother to Eris and Aneris0 that o= SPIRITUA IT!0 who had no na>e at a$$6
When the sisters heard this0 the& %oth 9on=ronted Poid and #$eaded that he not =or(et the>0 his First *orn6 And so Poid de9reed thus+
That this %rother0 ha'in( no =or>0 was to reside with Aneris in NonG*ein( and then to $ea'e her and0 so that he >i(ht #$a& with order and disorder0 reside with Eris in *ein(6 *ut Eris %e9a>e =i$$ed with sorrow when She heard this and then %e(an to wee#6
MWh& are &ou des#ondentJM de>anded Poid0 M!our new %rother wi$$ ha'e his share with &ou6M M*ut Father0 Aneris and I ha'e %een ar(uin(0 and she wi$$ taDe hi> =ro> >e when she dis9o'ers hi>0 and 9ause hi> to return to NonG*ein(6M MI see0Mre#$ied Poid0 MThen I de9ree the =o$$owin(+
MWhen &our %rother $ea'es the residen9e o= *ein(0 he sha$$ not reside a(ain in NonG*ein(0 %ut sha$$ return to Me0 Poid0 =ro> when9e he 9a>e6 !ou (ir$s >a& %i9Der as &ou wish0 %ut M& son is &our *rother and We are a$$ o= M&se$=6M
And so it is that we0 as >en0 do not e"ist unti$ we doN and then it is that we #$a& with our wor$d o= e"istent thin(s0 and order and disorder the>0 and so it sha$$ %e that nonGe"isten9e sha$$ taDe us %a9D =ro> e"isten9e and that na>e$ess s#iritua$it& sha$$ return to Poid0 $iDe a tired 9hi$d ho>e =ro> a 'er& wi$d 9ir9us6
ME'er&thin( is true G E'er&thin( is #er>issi%$eLM
GRSG
GHassan i Sa%%ah
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC There is serenit& in Chaos6 SeeD &e the E&e o= the Hurri9ane6
A POEE M!STEREE RITE G THE SRI S!ADASTIAN CHANT Written0 in so>e sense0 %& Ma$G;
Un$iDe a son(0 9hants are not sun( %ut 9hanted6 This #arti9u$ar one is >u9h enhan9ed %& the use o= a eader to 9hant the SansDrit a$one0 with a$$ #arti9i#ants 9hantin( the En($ish6 it a$so %ehoo'es one to %e in a Iuiet =ra>e o= >ind and to %e sittin( in a sti$$ #osition0 #erha#s The *utter9u# Position6 It a$so he$#s i= one is a%so$ute$& EonDed out o= his (ourd6
RU*GAGDU*GDU* OL Hai$ Eris6 *$essed St6 Hun( Mun(6 S!AGDASTI OL Hai$ Eris6 *$essed St6 MoGHo6 S!AGDAPA)GTAP!A OL Hai$ Eris6 *$essed St6 KaraGthud6 S!AGDASTI S!AGNASTI OL Hai$ Eris6 *$essed St6 E$der Ma$6 S!AGDASTI )APA)GTAPG!AS)A OL Hai$ Eris6 *$essed St6 GuG$iD6 S!AGDASTI0 S!AGNASTI0 S!AGDAPA)GTAPG!AS)A OL Hai$ Eris6 A$$ Hai$ DisG9ordGia6
RU*GAGDU*GDU*
It is then re#eated inde=inite$&0 or =or the =irst two thousand >i$es0 whi9h e'er 9o>es =irst6
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC The C$assi=i9ation o= Saints
-6 SAINT SECOND C ASS
To %e reser'ed =or a$$ hu>an %ein(s deser'in( o= Sainthood6 E"a>#$e+ St6Norton the First0 E>#eror o= the United States and Prote9tor o= Me"i9o 8his (ra'e near San Fran9is9o is an o==i9ia$ POEE shrine6:
THE FO OWING FOUR CATAGORIES ARE RESERPED FOR FICTIONA *EINGS WHO0 NOT *EING ACTUA 0 ARE MORE CAPA* E OF PERFECTION6
;6 ANCE SAINT
Good Saint >ateria$ and de=inite$& ins#irin(6 E"a>#$e+ St6 !ossarian 8Cat9h ;;0 He$$er:
26 IEUTENANT SAINT
E"9e$$ent GoddessGSaturated Saint6
E"a>#$e+ St6 Tui"ote 8Don Tui"ote0 Cer'antes:
U6 *RIGADIER SAINT
Co>#ara%$e to tASaint %ut has an esta%$ished =o$$owin( 8=i9tiona$ or =a9tua$:6 E"a>#$e+ St6 *oDonon 8Cat<s Crad$e0 Ponne(ut:
56 FIPE STAR SAINT
The Fi'e A#ost$es o= Eris6
Note+ It is an O$d Erisian Tradition to ne'er a(ree with ea9h other a%out Saints6
E'er&%od& understands Mi9De& Mouse6 Few understand Her>an Hesse6 On$& a hand =u$$ understood A$%ert Einstein6 And no%od& understood E>#eror Norton6 GS$o(an o= NORTON CA*A G S6F6
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC TESTS *! DOCTORS PROPE IT POSSI* E TO SHRIN)
WON OCCU TISMW
Ma(i9ians0 es#e9ia$$& sin9e the Gnosti9 and the Tua%a$a in=$uen9es0 ha'e
sou(ht hi(her 9ons9iousness throu(h assi>i$ation and 9ontro$ o= uni'ersa$ o##ositesGG (oodAe'i$0 #ositi'eAne(ati'e0 >a$eA=e>a$e0 et96 *ut due to the stead=ast #o>#osit& o= ritua$is> inherited =ro> the an9ient >ethods o= the sha>an0 o99u$tists ha'e %een %$inded to what is #erha#s the two >ost i>#ortant #airs o= a##arent or earthG#$ane o##osites+ ORDERADISORDER and SERIOUSAHUMOROUS6
Ma(i9ians0 and #ro(en& the s9ientists0 ha'e a$wa&s taDen the>se$'es and their su%He9t in an order$& and so%er >anner0 there%& disre(ardin( an essentia$ >eta#h&si9a$ %a$an9e6 when >a(i9ians $earn to a##roa9h #hi$oso#h& as a >a$$ea%$e art instead o= an i>>uta%$e Truth0 and $earn to a##re9iate the a%surdit& o= >an<s endea'ours0 then the& wi$$ %e a%$e to #ursue their art with a $i(hter heart0 and #erha#s (ain a 9$earer understandin( o= it0 and there=ore (ain >ore e==e9ti'e >a(i96 CHAOS IS ENERG!6
This is an essentia$ 9ha$$en(e to the %asi9 9on9e#ts o= a$$ western o99u$t thou(ht0 and POEE is hu>%$& #$eased to o==er the =irst %reaDthrou(h in o99u$tis> sin9e So$o>on6
MStud& De>ono$o(& with an Ene>& This Sunda&M seE Tho>0Gnos
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC POEE ASTRO OGICA S!STEM
-: O> &our ne"t %irthda&0 return to the #$a9e o= &our %irth and0 at #re9ise$& >idni(ht0 notin( &our %irth ti>e and date o= o%ser'ation0 9ount a$$ 'isi%$e stars6
;: When &ou ha'e done this0 write to >e and I<$$ te$$ &ou what to do ne"t6
The E>inent -3th Centur& Mathe>eti9ian Cardan so detested uther that he a$tered uther<s %irthdate to (i'e hi> an un=a'ora%$e horos9o#e6
The theore> to %e #ro'ed is that i= an& e'en nu>%er o= #eo#$e taDe seats at rando> around a 9ir9u$ar ta%$e %earin( #$a9e 9ards with their na>es0 it is a$wa&s #ossi%$e to rotate the ta%$e unti$ at $east two #eo#$e are o##osite their 9ards6 Assu>e the 9ontrar&6 et N %e the e'en nu>%er o= #ersons0 and $et their na>es %e re#$a9ed %& the inte(ers 7 to NG- Min su9h a wa& that the #$a9e 9ards are nu>%ered in seIuen9e around the ta%$e6 I= a de$e(ate D ori(ina$$& sits down to a #$a9e 9ard P0 then the ta%$e >ust %e rotated R ste#s %e=ore he is 9orre9t$& seated0 where RWPGD0 un$ess this is ne(ati'e0 in whi9h 9ase RWPGDVN6 The 9o$$e9tion o= 'a$ues o= D 8and o= P: =or a$$ de$e(ates is 9$ear$& the inte(ers 7 to NG-0ea9h taDen on9e0 %ut so a$so is the 9o$$e9tion o= 'a$ues o= R0 or e$se two de$e(ates wou$d %e 9orre9t$& seated at the sa>e ti>e6 Su>>in( the a%o'e eIuations0 one =or ea9h de$e(ate0 (i'es SGSVN)0 where ) is an inte(er and SWN8NG-:A;0 the su> o= the inte(ers =ro> 7 to NG-6 It =o$$ows that NW;)V-0 an odd nu>%er6M This 9ontradi9ts the ori(ina$ assu>#tion6
MI a9tua$$& so$'ed this #ro%$e> so>e &ears a(o0M R&%i9Di writes0 M=or a di==erent %ut 9o>#$ete$& eIui'a$ent #ro%$e>0 a (enera$iEation o= the nonatta9Din( <ei(ht Iueens< #ro%$e> =or a 9&$indri9a$ 9hess%oard where dia(ona$ atta9D is restri9ted to dia(ona$s s$antin( in one dire9tion on$&6 CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC THE CURSE OF GRE!FACE AND THE INTRODUCTION OF NEGATIPISM
To 9hoose order o'er disorder0 or disorder o'er order0 is to a99e#t a tri# 9o>#osed o= %oth the 9reati'e and the destru9ti'e6 *ut to 9hoose the 9reati'e o'er the destru9ti'e is an a$$G9reati'e tri# 9o>#osed o= %oth order and disorder6 To a99o>#$ish this0 one need on$& a99e#t 9reati'e disorder a$on( with0 and eIua$ to0 9reati'e order0 and a$so wi$$in( to reHe9t destru9ti'e order as an undesira%$e eIua$ to destru9ti'e disorder6
The Curse o= Gre&=a9e in9$uded the di'ision o= $i=e into orderAdisorder as the essentia$ #ositi'eAne(ati'e #o$arit&0 instead o= %ui$din( a (a>e =oundation with 9reati'eAdestru9ti'e as the essentia$ #ositi'eAne(ati'e6 He has there%& 9aused >an to endure the destru9ti'e as#e9ts o= order and has #re'ented >an =ro> e==e9ti'e$& #arti9i#atin( in the 9reati'e uses o= disorder6 Ci'i$iEation re=$e9ts this un=ortunate di'ision6
POEE #ro9$ai>s that the other di'ision is #re=era%$e0 and we worD toward the #ro#osition that 9reati'e disorder0 $iDe 9reati'e order0 is #ossi%$e and desira%$eN and that destru9ti'e order0 $iDe destru9ti'e disorder0 is unne9essar& and undesira%$e6
SeeD the Sa9red Chao G therein &ou wi$$ =ind the =oo$ishness o= a$$ ORDERADISORDER6 The& are the sa>eL
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC ERISIAN MAGIC RITUA G THE TUR)E! CURSE
Re'ea$ed %& the A#ost$e Dr6 Pan Pan MoHo as a s#e9i=i9 9ounter to the e'i$ Curse o= Gre&=a9e0 THE TUR)E! CURSE is here #assed on to Erisians e'er&where =or their Hust #rote9tion6
The TurDe& Curse worDs6 It is =ir>$& (rounded on the =a9t that Gre&=a9e and his =o$$owers a%so$ute$& reIuire an aneristi9 settin( to =un9tion and that a ti>e$& introdu9tion o= eristi9 'i%rations wi$$ neutra$iEe their =oundation6 The TurDe& Curse is desi(ned so$e$& to 9ountera9t ne(ati'e aneristi9 'i%es and i= introdu9ed into a neutra$ or #ositi'e aneristi9 settin( 8$iDe a #oet worDin( out word rh&th>s: it wi$$ #ro'e har>$ess0 or at worst0 si>#$& anno&in(6 It is not desi(ned =or use a(ainst ne(ati'e eristi9 'i%es0 a$thou(h it 9an %e used as an eristi9 'ehi9$e to introdu9e #ositi'e 'i%es into a >is(uided eristi9 settin(6 In this instan9e0 it wou$d %e the res#onsi%i$it& o= the Erisian Ma(i9ian to >anu=a9ture the #ositi'e 'i%rations i= resu$ts are to %e a9hie'ed6 CAUTIONG a$$ >a(i9 is #ower=u$ and reIuires 9oura(e and inte(rit& on the #art o= the >a(i9ian6 This ritua$0 i= >isused0 9an %a9D=ire6 Positi'e >oti'ation is essentia$ =or se$=G#rote9tion6
TO PERFORM THE TUR)E! CURSE+
TaDe a =oot stan9e as i= &ou were Fohn 6 Su$$i'an #re#arin( =or =isti9u==s6 Fa9e the #arti9u$ar (re&=a9ed &ou wish to shortG9ir9uit0 or towards the dire9tion o= the ne(ati'e aneristi9 'i%ration that &ou wish to neutra$iEe6 *e(in wa'in( &our ar>s in an& e$a%orate >anner and >aDe >otions with &our hands as thou(h &ou were MandraDe =ee$in( u# a se"& (iantess6 Chant0 $oud$& and 9$ear$&+ GO** E0 GO** E0 GO** E0 GO** E0 GO** EL The resu$ts wi$$ %e instant$& a##arent6
A PRIMER FOR ERISIAN EPANGE ISTS %& ord O>ar
The SOCRATIC APPROACH is >ost su99ess=u$ when 9on=rontin( the i(norant6 The Mso9rati9 a##roa9hM is what &ou 9a$$ startin( an ar(u>ent %& asDin( Iuestions6 !ou a##roa9h the inno9ent and si>#$& asD MDid &ou Dnow that God<s na>e is ERIS0 and that He is a (ir$JM I= he shou$d answer M!es6M then he #ro%a%$& is a =e$$ow Erisian and so &ou 9an =or(et it6 I= he sa&s MNo6M then Iui9D$& #ro9eed to+ THE * IND ASSERTION and sa& MWe$$0 He Is a (ir$0 and His na>e is ERISLM Shrewed$& o%ser'e i= the su%He9t is 9on'in9ed6 I= he is0 swear hi> into the e(ion o= D&na>i9 Dis9ord %e=ore he 9han(es his >ind6 I= he does not a##ear 9on'in9ed0 then #ro9eed to+ THE FAITH *IT+ M*ut &ou >ust ha'e FaithL A$$ is $ost without FaithL I sure =ee$ sorr& =or &ou i= &ou don<t ha'e Faith6M And then add+
THE ARGUMENT *! FEAR and in an o>inous 'oi9e asD MDo &ou Dnow what ha##ens to those who den& GoddessJM I= he hesitates0 don<t te$$ hi> that he wi$$ sure$& %e rein9arnated as a #re9ious Mao *utton and distri%uted to the #oor in the Re(ion o= Thud 8whi9h wou$d %e a >ean thin( to sa&:0 Hust shaDe &our head sad$& and0 whi$e wi#in( a tear =ro> &our e&e0 (o to+ THE FIRST C AUSE P O! wherein &ou #oint to a$$ o= the dis9ord and 9on=usion in the wor$d and e"9$ai> MWe$$ who the he$$ do &ou thinD did a$$ o= this0 wise (u&JM I= he sa&s0 MNo%od&0 Hust i>#ersona$ =or9es6M then Iui9D$& res#ond with+ THE ARGUMENT *! SEMANTICA G!MNASTICS and sa& that he is a%so$ute$& ri(ht0 and that those i>#ersona$ =or9es are =e>a$e and that Her na>e is ERIS6 I= he0 wonder o= wonders0 sti$$ re>ains o%stinate0 then =ina$$& resort to+ THE FIGURATIPE S!M*O ISM DODGE and 9on=ide that so#histi9ated #eo#$e $iDe hi>se$= re9o(niEe that Eris is a Fi(urati'e S&>%o$ =or an Ine==a%$e Meta#h&si9a$ Rea$it& and that The Erisian Mo'e>ent is rea$$& >ore $iDe a #oe> than $iDe a s9ien9e and that he is $ia%$e to %e turned into a Pre9ious Mao *utton and Distri%uted to The Poor in The Re(ion o= Thud i= he does not (et hi#6 Then #ut hi> on &our >ai$in( $ist6
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC SIN)
A GAME
%& A$a Hera0 E6 60 N6S6N RA!PI
E APP E PANTHERS
SIN) is #$a&ed %& Dis9ordians and #eo#$e o= >u9h i$D6
PURPOSE+ To sinD o%He9t or an o%He9t or a thin(666 in water or >ud or an&thin( &ouN 9an sinD so>ethin( in6
RU ES+ SinDin( is a$$owd in an& >anner6 To date0 ten #ound 9hunDs o= >ud were used to sinD a to%a99o 9an6 It is #re=era%$e to ha'e a #it o= water or a ho$e to dro# thin(s in6 *ut ri'ers G %a&s G (u$=s G I dare sa& e'en o9eans 9an %e used6
TURNS are taDen thus$&+ who so>e'er (ets the HunD u# and in the air =irst6
DUT!+ It sha$$ %e the dut& o= a$$ #ersons #$a&in( MSIN)M to he$# =ind >ore o%He9ts to sinD0 on9eN one o%He9t is sunD6
UPON SIN)ING+ The sinDed sha$$ &e$$ MI sanD itLM or so>ethin( eIua$$& as thou(ht=u$6
NAMING OF O*FECTS is so>e ti>es desira%$e6 The o%He9t is na>ed %& the =inder o= su9h o%He9t and whoe'er sinDs it 9an sa& =or instan9e0 MI sunD Co$u>%us0 OhioLM
MIn a wa&0 we<re a Dind o= Pea9e Cor#s6M G MaH6 A6 in9o$n Ger>an0 Trainin( Dire9tor o= the
Green *eret S#e9ia$ War=are S9hoo$0 Ft6 *ra((0 N6C6
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC A Foint E==ort o= the Dis9ordian So9iet&
POST OFFICE I*ERATION FRONT
E"#ort i9ense Not ReIuired
THIS IS A CHAIN ETTER6
WITHIN THE NE,T FIFT!GFIPEDA!S !OU WI HUNDRED POUNDS OF CHAINSL In the >eanti>e G #$ant &our seeds6
RECEIPE THIRT!GE EPEN
I= a $ot o= #eo#$e who re9ei'e this $etter #$ant a =ew seeds and a $ot o= #eo#$e re9ei'e this $etter0 then a $ot o= seeds wi$$ (et #$anted6 P$ant &our seeds6
In #arDs6 On $ots6 Pu%$i9 =$ower %eds6 In re>ote #$a9es6 At Cit& Ha$$6 Where'er6 Whene'er6 Or start a #$antation in &our 9$oset 8%ut read u# on it =irst =or that:6 For 9asua$ #$antin(0 its %est to soaD the> in water =or a da& and #$ant in a %un9h o= a%out 50 a%out ha$= an in9h dee#6 Don<t worr& >u9h a%out the weather0 the& Dnow when the weather is wron( and wi$$ tr& to wait =or nature6 Don<t soaD the> i= its winterti>e6 Seeds are a 'er& heart& $i=e
=or> and stron($& desire to (row and =$ourish6 *ut so>e o= the> need #eo#$e<s he$# to (et started6 P$ant &our seeds6
MaDe a =ew 9o#ies o= this $etter 85 wou$d %e ni9e: and send the> to =riends o= &ours6 Tr& to >ai$ to di==erent 9ities and states0 e'en di==erent 9ountries6 I= &ou wou$d rather not0 then #$ease #ass this 9o#& on to so>eone and #erha#s the& wou$d $iDe to6
THERE IS NO TRUTH to the $e(end that i= &ou throw awa& a 9hain $etter then a$$ sorts o= 9atastro#hi90 a%o>ina%$e0 and outra(eous disasters wi$$ ha##en6 E"9e#t0 o= 9ourse0 =ro> &our seed<s #oint o= 'iew6
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC T6 MHow 9o>e a wood#e9Der doesn<t %ash its %rains outJM A6 No%od& has e'er e"#$ained that6
Mar& Fane sa&s MP$ant !our Seeds6 )ee# Pri9es Down6M
MAnd God said0 %eho$d0 I ha'e (i'en &ou e'er& her% %earin( seed0 whi9h is u#on the =a9e o= the earth666 to &ou it sha$$ %e =or >eat6M GGenesis -+;.
Z(ra#hi9a$ stu== de$eted GDtC[
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC Tuestions Ha'e a =riend$& 9$ass ta$D6 Per>it ea9h 9hi$d to te$$ an& #art o= the unit on MCourtes& in the Corridors and on the StairsM that he enHo&ed6 Na>e so>e 9auses o= distur%an9e in &our s9hoo$6
Cha#ter -0 THE EPIST E TO THE PARANOIDS GG ord O>ar
-6 !e ha'e $o9Ded &erse$'es u# in 9a(es o= =earGGand0 %eho$d0 do &e now 9o>#$ain that &e $a9D FREEDOML
;6 !e ha'e 9ast out &er %rothers =or de'i$s and now 9o>#$ain &e0 $a>entin(0 that &e<'e %een $e=t to =i(ht a$one6
26 A$$ Chaos was on9e &er Din(do>N 'eri$&0 he$d &e do>inion o'er the entire Penta'erse0 %ut toda& &e was sore a=raid in darD 9orners0 nooDs0 and sinD ho$es6
U6 O how the darDnesses do 9rowd u#0 one a(ainst the other0 in &e heartsL What =ear &e >ore that what &e ha'e wrou(htenJ
56 Peri$&0 'eri$& I sa& unto &ou0 not a$$ the Sinister Ministers o= the
*a'arian I$$u>inati0 worDin( to(ether in >u$titudes0 9ou$d so entwine the $and with tri%u$ation as ha'e &er %ase$ess warnin(s6
DESPITE stron( e'iden9e to the 9ontrar&0 #ersistant ru>or has it that it was Mr6 Mo>o>oto<s %rother who swa$$owed Mr6 Mo>o>oto in the su>>er o= <UU6
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC Ad'ertise>ent XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXX
*APARIAN I
UMINATI
Founded %& Hassan i Sa%%ah0 -7.7 A6D6 857.7 A6 60 U157 A6M6: Re=or>ed %& Ada> Weishau#t0 -//3 A6D6 85//3 A6 60 5523 A6M6:
THE ANCIENT I
UMINATED SEERS OF *APARIA
in'ite !OU to Hoin
The Wor$d<s O$dest and Most Su99ess=u$ Cons#ira9&
Ha'e &ou e'er SECRET ! WONDERED WH! A EGOR! 9onG The GREAT P!RAMID has FIPE sides
IS there an ESOTERIC 9ea$ed in the a##arent$& inno9ent
89ountin( the %otto>:J
$e(end o= Snow White and The Se'en Dwar=sJ
WHAT IS the TRUE se9ret SINISTER REA IT! $&in( %ehind the ANCIENT AEte9 e(end o= TUETK COAT J
WH! do s9ho$ar$& anthro#o$o(ists TURN PA E with terror at the 'er& MENTION o= the FOR*IDDEN na>e !OGGSOTHOTHJ
WHO IS the MAN in KURICH that so>e SWEAR is EE HARPE! OSWA DJ
WHAT REA
! DID HAPPEN
TO AM*ROSE *IERCEJ
I= &our I6T6 is o'er -570 and &ou ha'e 420-;5677 8#$us hand$in(:0 &ou >i(ht %e e$i(i%$e =or a tria$ >e>%ershi# in the A6I6S6*6 I= &ou thinD &ou Iua$i=&0 #ut the >one& in a 9i(ar %o" and %ur& it in &our %a9D&ard6 One o= our Under(round A(ents wi$$ 9onta9t &ou short$&6 I DARE !OUL
TE NO ONEL ACCIDENTS HAPE A STRANGE WA! OF HAPPENING TO PEOP E WHO TA ) TOO MUCH A*OUT THE *APARIAN I UMINATI
Ma& we warn &ou a(ainst i>itationsL Ours is the ori(ina$ and (enuine
MNothin( is true6 E'er&thin( is Per>issi%$eM G Hassan i Sa%%ah
NI CAR*ORUNDUM I EGITIMO
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXX MI$$u>inate the O##ositionLM GG Ada> Weishau#t0 Grand Pri>us I$$u>inatus
O==i9ia$ *a'arian I$$u>inati MEwi(e *$u>enDra=tLM
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC INTERGOFFICE WIRE SENT
THE ANCIENT I
UMINATED SEERS OF *APARIA G PIGI ANCE ODGE
Mad Ma$iD0 Hau#ts9heiss>eisterN Resident =or Norton Ca%a$
DISCORDIAN SOCIET! SUPER SECRET CR!PTOGRAPHIC C!PHER CODE
O= #ossi%$e interest to a$$ Dis9ordians0 this in=or>ation is herewith re$eased =ro> the 'au$ts o= A6I6S6*60 under the aus#i9es o= E#isDo#os Dr6 Morde9ai Ma$i(natius0 )NS6
SAMP E MESSAGE+ 8MHAI ERISM:
CONPERSATION+ A*CDEFGHIF ) M N O P T R S T U P W , ! K
- ; 2 U 5 3 / 1 . -7 -- -; -2 -U -5 -3 -/ -1 -. ;7 ;- ;; ;2 ;U ;5 ;3
STEP -6 Write out the >essa(e 8HAI ERIS: and #ut a$$ the 'owe$s at the end 8H RSAIEI: STEP ;6 Re'erse order 8IEIASR H: STEP 26 Con'ert to nu>%ers 8.G5G.G-G-.G-1G-;G1: STEP U6 Put into nu>eri9a$ order 8-G5G1G.G.G-;G-1G-.: STEP 56 Con'ert %a9D to $etters 8AEHII RS:
This 9r&#to(ra#hi9 9&#her 9ode is GUARANTEED TO *E -77\ UN*REA)A* E6
*EWAREL THE PARANOIDS ARE WATCHING !OUL CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC Here is a $etter =ro> A6I6S6*6 to POEE+ XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXX The Wor$d<s O$dest And Most Su99ess=u$ Cons#ira9&
*APARIAN I
UMINATI
Founded %& Hassan i Sa%%ah0 -7.7 A6D6 857.7 A6 60 U157 A6M6: Re=or>ed %& Ada> Weishau#t0 -//3 A6D6 85//3 A6 60 5523 A6M6:
8 :O==i9ia$ *usiness 8,: Surre#titious *usiness
Fro>+ MAD MA I) Hau#ts9heiss>eister
Dear *rother Ma$G;0
In res#onse to &our reIuest =or un9$assi=ied a(it#ro# to %e inserted in the new edition o= PRINCIPIA0 ho#e the =o$$owin( wi$$ %e o= use6 And #$ease sto# %otherin( us with &our in9essant $ettersL
E#isDo#os Morde9ai0 )ee#er o= the Notar& SoHa90 in=or>s >e that &ou are we$9o>e to re'ea$ that our o$dest e"tant re9ords show us to ha'e %een =u$$& esta%$ished in At$antis0 9ir9a -10777 *6C60 under )u$$0 the (a$$e& s$a'e who as9ended to the Throne o= Pa$usia6 Re'i'ed %& Pe$ias o= )oth0 9ir9a -70777 *6C6 Possi%$& it was he who tau(ht the innerGtea9hin(s to Conan o= Ci>>eria a=ter Conan %e9a>e )in( o= AIui$onia6 First %rou(ht to the western he>is#here %& Conan and tau(ht to Ma&an #riesthood 8Conan is TuetE$9oat$:6 That was U Ahua0 1 Cu>hu0 Ma&an date6 Re'i'ed %& A%du$ A$haEred in his in=a>ous A$ AEi=0 9ir9a 177 A6D6 8A$ AEi= trans$ated into atin %& O$aus Wor>ius0 --2; A6D60 as The Ne9rono>i9on6: In -7.7 A6D6 was the =oundin( o= The Is>ae$ian Se9t
8Hashishi>: %& Hassan i Sa%%ah0 with se9ret tea9hin(s %ased on A$haEred0 Pe$ias and )u$$6 Foundin( o= the I$$u>inated Ones o= *a'aria0 %& Ada> Weishau#t0 on Ma& -0 -//36 He %ased it on the others6 Weishau#t %rou(ht it to the United States durin( the #eriod that he was i>#ersonatin( Geor(e Washin(tonN and it was he who was the Man in *$a9D who (a'e the desi(n =or The Great Sea$ to Fe==erson in the (arden that ni(ht6 The I$$u>inated tradition is now0 o= 9ourse0 in the hands o= The An9ient I$$u>inated Seers o= *a'aria 8A6I6S6*6:0 headIuartered here in the United States6
Our tea9hin(s are not0 need I re>ind &ou0 a'ai$a%$e =or #u%$i9ation6 No har>0 thou(h0 in ad>ittin( that so>e o= the> 9an %e =ound dis(uised in Fo&9e<s Finne(an<s WaDe0 *urrou(hs No'a E"#ress0 the )in( Fa>es trans$ation o= the Ho$& *i%$e 8thou(h not the atin or He%rew:0 and The *$ue *ooD6 Not to s#eaD o= *en FranD$in<s #ri'ate #a#ers 8L:0 %ut we are sti$$ su##ressin( those6
Considerin( 9urrent de'e$o#>entsGG&ou Dnow the ones I s#eaD o=GGit has %een de9ided to re'ea$ a =ew >ore o= our =ront or(aniEations6 !our #u%$i9ation is ti>e$&0 so >ention that in addition to the o$d =ronts $iDe the Masons0 the Roth9hi$d *anDs0 and the Federa$ Reser'e S&ste>0 we now ha'e si(ni=i9ant 9ontro$ o= the Federa$ *ureau o= In'esti(ation 8sin9e Hoo'er died $ast &ear0 %ut that is sti$$ se9ret:0 the Students =or a De>o9rati9 So9iet&0 the Co>>unist Part& USA0 the A>eri9an Anar9hist Assn60 the Funior Cha>%er o= Co>>er9e0 the *$a9D otus So9iet&0 the Re#u%$i9an Part&0 the Fohn Di$$in(er Die For !ou So9iet&0 and the Ca># Fire Gir$s6 It is sti$$ use=u$ to 9ontinue the sha> o= the *ir9hers that we are seeDin( wor$d do>inationN so do not
re'ea$ that #o$iti9a$ and e9ono>i9 9ontro$ was (enera$$& 9o>#$ete se'era$ (enerations a(o and that we are Hust #$a&in( with the wor$d =or a whi$e unti$ 9i'i$iEation ad'an9es su==i9ient$& =or #hase =i'e6
In =a9t &ou >i(ht sti$$ #ush Pennard<s The Federa$ Reser'e Hoa"+ MSin9e the *a%&$onian Ca#ti'it& there has e"isted a deter>ined0 %ehindGtheGs9enes underGtheGta%$e0 atheisti90 satani90 antiGChristian =or9eGGworshi#ers o= Ma>onGGwhose und&in( #ur#ose is wor$d 9ontro$ throu(h the 9ontro$ o= Mone&6 Fu$& -0 -//3 89orre9t that to Ma& -st0 Pennard 9an<t (et an&thin( ri(ht: the Ser#ent raised its head in the underG(round se9ret so9iet& Dnown as the I$$u>inati0 =ounded %& Ada> Weishau#t6 There is 9onsidera%$e do9u>entar& e'iden9e to #ro'e a$$ re'o$utions0 wars0 de#ressions0 striDes and 9haos ste> =ro> this sour9e6M Et960 et960 &ou Dnow the stu==6
The (enera$ $o9ation o= our US HT0 in9identa$$&0 has %een near$& e"#osedN and so we wi$$ %e >o'in( =or the =irst ti>e this 9entur& 8what a dra(L:6 I= &ou want0 &ou 9an re'ea$ that it is $o9ated dee# in the $a%&rinth o= sewers %eneath Dea$& P$aEa in Da$$as0 and is #resided o'er %& The Dea$& a>a6 In9$osed are so>e #$ans =or se'era$ new #otentia$ $o9ations6 P$ease re'iew and add an& 9o>>ents &ou =ee$ #ertinent0 es#e9ia$$& re(ardin( the Eristi9 #ro#ensit& o= the Penta(on site6
Oh0 and we ha'e so>e (ood news =or &ou0 *rother Ma$L !ou Dnow that Ka>%ian 9&%erneti9s (enius who Hoined usJ We$$0 he has se9ret$& 9oGordinated the F*I 9o>#uters with the Kuri9h S&ste> and our theoriti9ians are in e9stas& o'er the new in=or>ation 9o>in( out6 ooD0 i= &ou #eo#$e out there 9an Dee#
=ro> %$owin( &ourse$'es u# =or on$& two >ore (enerations0 then we wi$$ =ina$$& ha'e it6 A=ter ;70777 &ears0 )u$$<s drea> wi$$ %e rea$iEedL We 9an hard$& %e$ie'e it6 *ut the out9o>e is 9ertain0 (i'en the ti>e6 Our (rand9hi$dren0 Ma$L I= 9i'i$iEation >aDes it throu(h this 9rises0 our (rand9hi$dren wi$$ $i'e in a wor$d o= authenti9 =reedo> and authenti9 har>on& and authenti9 satis=a9tion6 I ho#e I<> a$i'e to see it0 Ma$0 su99ess is in our (ras#6 Twent& thousand &ears6666L
Ah0 I (et s#a9ed Hust thinDin( a%out it6 Good $u9D on the Prin9i#ia6 Ewi(e *$u>enDra=tL HAI ERIS6
o'e0 MAD MA I)
PS+ PRIPATE G Not =or #u%$i9ation in The Prin9i#ia6 We are returnin( to the two Kwa9D C&#hers =or 9$assi=ied 9o>>uni9ations6 Herewith &our 9o#&6 DO NOT DIPU GE THIS INFORMATION G SECURIT! EG56
Znote+ Gra#hi9 C&#her de$eted DtC[
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXX
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC Part Fi'e The Go$den Se9ret
NONSENSE AS SA PATION
The hu>an ra9e wi$$ %e(in so$'in( it<s #ro%$e>s on the da& that it 9eases taDin( itse$= so serious$&6
To that end0 POEE #ro#oses the 9ounter(a>e o= NONSENSE AS SA PATION6 Sa$'ation =ro> an u($& and %ar%arous e"isten9e that is the resu$t o= taDin( order so serious$& and so serious$& =earin( 9ontrar& orders and disorder0 that GAMES are taDen as >ore i>#ortant than IFEN rather than taDin( IFE AS THE ART OF P A!ING GAMES6
To this end0 we #ro#ose that >an de'e$o# his innate $o'e =or disorder0 and #$a& with The Goddess Eris6 And Dnow that it is a Ho&=u$ #$a&0 and that there%& CAN *E REPO)ED THE CURSE OF GRE!FACE6
I= &ou 9an >aster nonsense as we$$ as &ou ha'e a$read& $earned to >aster sense0 then ea9h wi$$ e"#ose the other =or what it is+ a%surdit&6 Fro> that >o>ent o= i$$u>ination0 a >an %e(ins to %e =ree re(ard$ess o= his surroundin(s6 He %e9o>es =ree to #$a& order (a>es and 9han(e the> at wi$$6 He %e9o>es =ree to #$a& disorder (a>es Hust =or the he$$ o= it6 He %e9o>es =ree
to #$a& neither or %oth6 And as the >aster o= his own (a>es0 he #$a&s without =ear0 and there=ore without =rustration0 and there=ore with (ood wi$$ in his sou$ and $o'e in his %ein(6
And when >en %e9o>e =ree then >anDind wi$$ %e =ree6 Ma& &ou %e =ree o= The Curse o= Gre&=a9e6 Ma& the Goddess #ut twinD$es in &our e&es6 Ma& &ou ha'e the Dnow$ed(e o= a sa(e0 and the wisdo> o= a 9hi$d6 Hai$ Eris6 T<AI XXX XXX XXX XXX XXX XXX XXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXX
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC THUS ENDS PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA This %ein( the Uth Edition0 Mar9h -./70 San Fran9is9oN a re'ision o= the 2rd Edition o= 577 9o#ies0 who>#ed to(ether in Ta>#a -.3.N whi9h re'ised the ;nd Edition o= -77 9o#ies =ro> os An(e$es -.3.N whi9h was a re'ision o= MPRINCIPIA DISCORDIA or HOW THE WEST WAS OSTM #u%$ished in New Or$eans in -.35 in =i'e 9o#ies0 whi9h were >ost$& $ost6
I= &ou thinD the PRINCIPIA is Hust a haGha0 then (o read it a(ain6
8): A
RIGHTS REPERSED G Re#rint what &ou $iDe
Pu%$ished %& POEE Head Te>#$e G San Fran9is9o M On The Future Site o= *eauti=u$ San Andreas Can&onM
O==i9e o= M& Hi(h Re'eren9e Ma$a9$&#se the !oun(er )SC OPOPIG HIGH PRIEST POEE
)A
ISTI
THE AST WORD The =ore(oin( do9u>ent was re'ea$ed to Ma$G; %& the Goddess Herse$= throu(h >an& 9onsu$tations with Her within his Pinea$ G$and6 It is (uaranteed to %e the Word o= Goddess6 Howe'er0 it is on$& =air to state that Goddess doesn<t a$wa&s sa& the sa>e thin( to ea9h $istener0 and that other E#isDo#oses are so>eti>es to$d Iuite di==erent thin(s in their Re'e$ations0 whi9h are a$so the Word o= Goddess6 ConseIuent$&0 i= &ou #re=er a Dis9ordian Se9t other than POEE0 then none o= these Truths are %indin(0 and it is a rotten sha>e that &ou ha'e read a$$ the wa& down to the 'er& $ast word6
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC DISCORDIAN SOCIET!
Dedi9ated to an Ad'an9ed Understandin( o= the Para#h&si9a$ Mani=estations o= E'er&da& Chaos
DID !OU )NOW THAT !OU HAPE A OPSIDED PINEA G ANDJ
We$$0 #ro%a%$& &ou do ha'e one0 and it<s un=ortunate %e9ause $o#sided Pinea$ G$ands ha'e #er'erted the Free S#irit o= Man0 and su%'erted i=e into a =rustratin(0 unha##& and ho#e$ess >ess6
Fortunate$&0 &ou ha'e %e=ore &ou a hand%ooD that wi$$ show &ou how to dis9o'er &our sa$'ation throu(h ERIS0 THE GODDESS OF CONFUSION6 It wi$$ ad'ise &ou how to %a$an9e &our Pinea$ G$and and rea9h s#iritua$ I$$u>ination6 And it wi$$ tea9h &ou how to turn &our >isera%$e >ess into a %eauti=u$0 Ho&=u$0 and s#$endid one6
POEE is a %rid(e =ro> PISCES to ATUARIUS
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC the Words o= the I$$u>inated Rated ,666 NATURA !
Wh& are we Here J
SUPPRESSED )NOW EDGE
Ha'e &ou e'er se9ret$&
H!GIENE
wondered wh& the Great P&ra>id has =i'e sidesJ G 9ountin( the %otto>J
The ord #ro>ised+ MThere=ore0 %eho$d0 I wi$$ %rin( e'i$ u#on the house o= Fero%oa> and wi$$ 9ut o== =ro> Fero%oa> hi> that
GRAND OPERA MWhere=ore >& %owe$s sha$$ sound $iDe a har# =or Moa%0 and >ine inner #arts =or )irharesh6M GIsaiah -3+--
#isseth a(ainst the wa$$666M GI )in(s -U+-7 8This unsanitar& #ra9ti9e 9aused serious erosion o= the >ud wa$$s:
Fa9e to =a9t with the >i(ht& =or9es and e$e>ents o= nature0 the thou(ht=u$ >an =ear$ess$& 9onte>#$ates his #$a9e in the (reat 9os>i9 s9he>e6 GRSG POEE GRSG
!ES0 I<d $iDe to Dnow the Fi'e Si>#$e A9tions that wi$$ turn Me into a MMenta$ WiEardM in a Sin($e WeeDend6
Warnin(L Pro$on(ed use in a darDened roo> >a& indu9e ha$$u9inations or tri((er undesired side e==e9ts6 Shou$d not %e used in the #resen9e o= #ersons su%He9t to e#i$e#s&6
THIS MA! *E THE MOST IMPORTANT GUIDE IN !OUR IFEL
GTHE GODDESS ERIS PREPAI SG CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC
SPECIA AFTERWORD to the oo>#ani9s Edition o= PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA G6H6 Hi$$0 San Fran9is9o0 -./. A$$ Rites Re'ersed 8): Re#rint What !ou iDe
INTERPIEW WITH NORTON CA*A %& G&#sie SDri#to0 S#e9ia$ Corres#ondent
It has %een ten &ears sin9e I net the >&sterious Ma$a9$&#se the !oun(er6 I was =ree $an9in( =or the under(round #a#ers and went to POEE Hear Te>#$e at 555 *atter& Street to tr& =or an inter'iew6
I =ound hi> in the Te>#$e PO *o" %us& wra##in( u# the new Fourth Edition o= PRINCIPIA6 He see>ed i>#atient with >e0 insistin( that he didn<t ha'e the ti>e or in9$ination =or =oo$ish Iuestions =ro> re#orters6 Undaunted0 I %urst out with Iuestions $iDe whether he #re=erred Pana>a Red or A9a#u$9o Go$d and how the =u9D did we >ana(e to =it inside o= a tin& #ost o==i9e %o" and other thin(s a#ro#os a nai'e &oun( se>i$iterate dro#out hi##& writer6 He asDed >e i= I wanted to dro# >es9a$ine and =u9D a$$ ni(ht and said he Dnew how to turn hi>se$= into a uni9orn and there >i(ht %e roo> =or a tin& inter'iew on the 9o'er o= the PRINCIPIA i= I wanted to worD =or the GREATER POOP so I said
sure0 O)0 I<'e ne'er dro##ed >es9a$ine in a #ost o==i9e %o" %e=ore6
It turned out I was a>on( the $ast to see Ma$a9$&#se6 As su%seIuent issues o= GREATER POOP re'ea$ed0 he was to disa##ear and POEE %usiness was to %e assu>ed %& his students at Norton Ca%a$6 Pro=essor I(notu> P6 I(notius0 De#art>ent o= Co>#arati'e Rea$ities0 was assi(ned the Trust o= the POEE S9ru#$e and Re'6 Dr6 O99u#ant %e9a>e )ee#er o= the *o"6 The new$& #u%$ished 9o#ies o= PRINCIPIA were distri%uted %& Mad Ma$iD0 *$o9D Disor(aniEer0 who had distri%ution 9onta9ts with the A$u>inu> *a'ariati6 Pra9ti9a$ re$ations re>ained in the hands o= 9on9e#t artist G6 Hi$$6
When the -777 PRINCIPIAS were (one the GREATER POOP sto##ed #u%$ishin(0 Head Te>#$e 9$osed down and the Ca%a$ Hust see>ed to e'a#orate6 Fina$$& e'en the %o" was 9$osed6 *ut o'er the &ears I noti9ed that 9o#ies were sti$$ 9ir9u$atin(0 and that inde#endent Dis9ordian Ca%a$ wou$d o99asiona$$& #o# out o= nowhere 8and sti$$ do :6 And I wou$d wonder what e'er ha##ened to Ma$a9$&#se6
When I read the I
UMINATUS tri$o(& I reso$'ed to a(ain =ind and
inter'iew the deniEens o= Foshua Norton Ca%a$ o= the Dis9ordian So9iet&6
***
As I 9a%$ed o'er No% to San Fran9is9o<s Station <O< Post O==i9e I 9ou$dn<t he$# %ut wonder at Goddess< hand in assi(nin( street addresses to Her out#osts6 Ma$; had to$d >e that Good ord O>ar a$wa&s =i$ed e'er&thin( under
MOM =or OUT OF FI E6
MMa&a is >ar'e$ousM I was thinDin( when I ra##ed on the $itt$e >eta$ door and was (reeted war>$& %& a hu(e %eard who introdu9ed hi>se$= as Pro=essor I(notius6 He ushered >e into a s#a9ious wood #ane$ed and ta#estr& hun( #ar$or where three others were $au(hin( and #assin( around a wine Hu(6 The sunn& one in a tuni9 was the Re'erend Do9tor O99u#ant0 the tri> DhaDi and Heans was Mad Ma$iD and the wine Hu( 9$ai>ed to %e Hi$$6 I (ot the re9order on6666
G!PSIE S)RIPTO Zin res#onse to a Iuestion[+ 666-.3. %ut on$& %rie=$&6 I (uess I >issed &ou (u&s6
MAD MA I)+ No wonder0 he was #rett& >u9h a one >an show then6 We were Hust his students and were usua$$& o== on errands6 !ou worDed =or the POOPJ
G&#sie+ We$$0 =or one ni(ht an&wa&6 The inter'iew is in the PRINCIPIA6
REP6 DR6 OCCUPANT+ Ma$iD was the on$& one he wou$d e'er $et write =or the POOP or (et on the $etterhead6
G&#sie+ Did &ou ZMa$iD[ ha'e hi(her authorit& than the othersJ
Ma$iD+ No0 Z%ut I was a$$owed to s#eaD in the POOP[ %e9ause ZMa$a9$&#se the !oun(er[ hated #o$iti9s6 He was in=uriated with Fohnson and ni"on o'er Piet Na> %e9ause it was turnin( the renaissan9e into a #o$iti9a$ re'o$ution and was
stea$in( his sa9red thunder6 So he trained >e in Kenar9h&0 whi9h he $earned =ro> O>ar0 and I was the o==i9ia$ anar9hoG#a9i=ist =or the Ca%a$6 A$so I was $iaison to The An9ient I$$u>inated Seers o= *a'aria0 the Chi9a(o Dis9ordians6 ater O>ar a9ti'ated the Hun( Mun( Con( Ton( and E F0 on Eenar9hist #rin9i#$es0 and a$so O#eration Mind=u9D6 I was a$so into those6 Thou(h at the ti>e I was >asIueradin( in GREATER POOP as a 9reated 9a%%a(e to throw o== the F*I6
G&#sie Zto Hi$$[+ Sin9e &ou wrote it0 I taDe it &ou are an anar9histJ
G6H6 Hi$$+ Sin9e then I ha'e (i'en u# anar9h&6 Too >an& ru$esGG hatin( the (o'ern>ent and a$$ that stu==6
IGNOTUM PER IGNOTIUS+ It<s $iDe hatin( &our own =antasies6
Ma$iD+ ZAnar9h&[ is a$so standin( u# and #ro9eedin( =orward0 =antas& ru$e or not6 The 9ondition is the sa>e6
O99u#ant+ *rother needs so>e wineL
Ma$iD+ We ha'e had this ar(u>ent %e=ore0 Re'erend Do9tor *rother6 *ut wine %e=ore #$atitudes0 =i$$ it u#6
G&#sie Zto Hi$$[+ And #a9i=is>J
Hi$$+ I<> not sure I e'er was one6 Ma$; was not0 Ma$iD was6 Persona$$& I
a99e#ted se$= de=ense &et I 9ou$d ne'er re9on9i$e that with the idea$6 I =ina$$& (a'e u# on that one too6 A9tua$$& I Hust (a'e u# on idea$is>6
I(notius+ Idea$is> $i'es with ru$es6 Rea$is> $i'es with ro9Ds6
Hi$$+ !eah6 I (et a$on( %etter with ro9Ds6
Ma$iD+ Ma$; on9e to$d >e that #a9i=is> was a di$e>>a6 I= e'er&%od& was a #a9i=ist then e'er&thin( wou$d %e #er=e9t6 *ut no%od& is (oin( to %e a #a9i=ist un$ess I a> =irst6 *ut i= I a> and so>e%od& e$se is not0 then I (et s9rewed6 He said that there were =i'e 9hoi9es under that 9ir9u>stan9e6 The =irst was na#a$>in( =ar>ers and the se9ond was e"e9utin( &our #arents6 The third was h&#o9ris&0 the =ourth was 9owardi9e0 and the =i=th was to swa$$ow the di$e>>a6 Kenar9hists are trained in di$e>>a swa$$owin(6
O99u#ant+ So are other Erisians0 $iDe POEE6
I(notius+ That is 9hara9teristi9 o= the Dis9ordian #ers#e9ti'e6
Hi$$+ *ut o= 9ourse trainin( 9ontradi9ts Dis9ordian #rin9i#$es6
Ma$iD+ Oh so what6 Contradi9tions are nothin( to Dis9ordians6
O99u#ant+ Di$e>>a0 S9hi$>e>>a6 Zto G&#sie[+ What do &ou thinD o= this0 #rett& >a<a>J We don<t (et to hear &our thou(hts6
G&#sie+ I<> re#ortin( now0 &ou ta$D6
O99u#ant+ ater thenJ
G&#sie+ Perha#s6 ater6
O99u#ant+ !ou are s>i$in(6
G&#sie+ He&0 (u&0 $ater6 Zto Hi$$[+ Doesn<t this $ea'e &ou a $itt$e s9hiE&J
Hi$$+ It<s O)0 I<> ha$= Ge>ini6
G&#sie+ What<s the other ha$=J
Hi$$+ Taurus6 That >aDes >e a stu%%orn s9hiE&6
I(notius+ I<> a Wha$e6
O99u#ant+ I 9hoose Sat&r6
Ma$iD+ S#irits don<t ha'e si(ns6
Hi$$+ A 9hara9ter 9an ha'e a si(n i= I want it so6
O99u#ant+ We$$ I 9an ha'e a si(n i= I want to and s9rew %oth o= &ou6
Ma$iD+ Co>e on Gre(0 &ou Hust thinD that we are &our 9hara9ters6666
O99u#ant+ !ou were inha%ited %& Ma$a9$&#se the !oun(er6 He 9aused &ou to 9reate ro$es and those ro$es are %ein( #er=or>ed %& us s#irits6
I(notius+ A #er=e9t$& nor>a$ #a(an re$ationshi#6
Hi$$+ We$$ &ou 9an $ooD at it $iDe that i= &ou want to0 %ut I 9reated Ma$; to >& s#e9i=i9ations Hust as I 9on9ei'ed a$$ the rest o= &ou6
O99u#ant+ !ou didn<t in'ent Eris6 She 9aused &ou to thinD &ou 9reated the s#irit o= Ma$a9$&#se6
Hi$$+ Oh %u$$L *esides0 I 9han(ed her so >u9h the GreeDs wou$d ne'er re9o(niEe her6
O99u#ant+ That<s what She wantedL
I(notius+ Deities 9han(e thin(s around a$$ the ti>e6
Ma$iD+ What &ou don<t rea$iEe is that a s#irit has a se$= identit&6
Hi$$+ No#e6 A s#irit is a #rodu9t o= de=inition and the one who is doin( the de=inin( around here is >e6 !our identit& is what I sa& it is6 Fust to #ro'e it0 I<> (oin( to 9han(e &our na>e6
SINISTER DE,TER+ It<s O) with >e6 Fate is =ate6 I ne'er >u9h $iDed MMad Ma$iDM an&wa&6
I(notius+ *esides #eo#$e 9on=used hi> with Foe Ma$iD in I
UMINATUS6
De"ter+ I sort o= enHo&ed the 9on=usion #art6
O99u#ant+ Doesn<t #ro'e an&thin( an&wa&6
G&#sie+ That na>e sounds =a>i$iar6 Where is it =ro>J
Hi$$+ Its a na>e I 9a>e u# with in the o$d da&s and ne'er used it >u9h6 Its on #a(e 21 o= the PRINCIPIA re=errin( to Pi9e President S#iro A(new6 I a$wa&s thou(ht I in'ented it %ut now it sounds $iDe a Stan Fre%er( na>e now that I thinD a%out it6 It >a& ha'e stu9D in >& #re9ons9ious >e>or& =ro> ear$& TP6
G&#sie+ Can &ou use it without his #er>issionJ
Hi$$+ I= it is hisJ I don<t Dnow6 I ho#e so6 it >eans M$e=t ri(htM in atin and is a #er=e9t na>e =or a $i%ertarian anar9hist6 A9tua$$& in >& Dind o= art the Iuestion o= what 9an I use =ree$& and what 9an I not is a 'er& tri9D& #ro%$e>6
G&#sie+ How do &ou >eanJ
Hi$$+ We$$0 taDe a 9o$$a(e =or e"a>#$e6 iDe the ear$& one on #a(e 23 o= the
PRINCIPIA6 Ea9h $itt$e #ie9e was e"tra9ted =ro> so>e $ar(er worD 9reated %& so>e other artist and #u%$ished and >a&%e 9o#&ri(hted6 I =ind the> in news#a#ers and >a(aEines >ost$&6 O=ten =ro> ads6 With a 9o$$a(e &ou se$e9t and e"tra9t =ro> &our en'iron>ent and then asse>%$e into an ori(ina$ re$ationshi#6
The PRINCIPIA itse$= is a 9o$$a(e6 A 9on9e#tua$ 9o$$a(e6 A$$ o= it ha##ens si>u$taneous$&6 *ut 'isua$$& it is a >onta(e0 #assin( throu(h ti>e0 $iDe a %ooD does6
There is a $ot o= #irated stu== in the PRINCIPIA0 es#e9ia$$& in the >ar(ins6 *ut a$so I s&>#athiEe with artists who >ust own and se$$ their worDs to earn a $i'in(6 Art0 $iDe Dnow$ed(e0 shou$d %e =ree =odder =or e'er&one6 *ut it isn<t It is #er#$e"in(6
G&#sie+ Where did a$$ the thin(s in PRINCIPIA 9o>e =ro>J
Hi$$+ We$$0 a =u$$ answer wou$d taDe another %ooD in itse$=6 Most o= the writin( 9redited to a na>e is a true #erson and a$>ost a$wa&s a di==erent na>e >eans a di==erent #erson6 Most o= the nonG9redited0 &ou Dnow0 Ma$a9$&#se0 te"t is >ine a$thou(h so>e thin(s 9redited to either Ma$; or O>ar were a9tua$$& 9oGwritten and #assed %a9D and =orth and rewritten %& ea9h o= us6 The >ar(ina$ia0 din(%ats0 and #asted in tit$es and heads and thin(s 9a>e =ro> where'er I =ound the>GGso>e o= whi9h is ori(ina$ %ut un9redited Dis9ordian out#ut0 $iDe the #a(e head on -; and other #a(es whi9h is =ro> a series o= satiri9 >e>o #ads =ro> Our Peo#$es Underwor$d Ca%a$6 A$$ #a(e $a&out is >ine and so>e who$e (ra#hi9s $iDe the Sa9red Chao and the Hod(e Pod(e Trans=or>er
are >ine %ut >ost$& I Hust =ound stu== and inte(rated it6 Most$& I did 9on9e#t0 sa& 57\ o= the writin(0 -7\ o= the (ra#hi9s0 a$$ o= the $a&out6
G&#sie+ S#e9i=i9a$$&0 what are so>e o= the sour9esJ
Hi$$+ Wee$0 the #oe> on the =ront 9o'er is %& Wa$t )e$$& and was s#oDen %& one o= his 9hara9ters in Po(o6 The (o'ern>ent sea$s startin( =ro> #a(e - are =ro> a %ooD o= sa>#$e sea$s =ro> the U6S6 Go'ern>ent Printin( O==i9e6 Western Union on #a(e 3 (ot into the a9t %e9ause I used to %e a te$et&#e o#erator and had a99ess to %$anD =or>s6 Ru%%er sta>#s 9a>e =ro> a$$ o'er the #$a9e and so>e0 $iDe the a##$e on #a(e ;/0 I 9ar'ed >&se$=6 A =ew I ordered to >& s#e9i=i9ation0 $iDe on #a(e -6 The Iuote on the to# o= #a(e 1 >i(ht %e =ro> *arnu>0 I<> not sure6 The Hu>#in( >an on #a(e -; is =ro> an ad'ertise>ent6 I re9o(niEe the st&$eGGa #o#u$ar 9o>>er9ia$ artistGG %ut I don<t Dnow his na>e6 The Chinese on the #a(e is a (ro9er& ad0 I thinD6 The Norton >one& on #a(e -U is histori90#$us >& $itt$e additions6 The a##$e on #a(e -/0as we$$ as the trian($e on ;2 and the Sa9red Chao on 57 are0 %e$ie'e it or not0 #asteu#s o= >i>eo(ra#hs0 =ro> Seatt$e Ca%a$6 That (rou# #rodu9ed the %est da>n >i>eo(ra#h& I<'e e'er seen6 The i9D Here *o" on #a(e ;2 is one o= >an& tid%its >aDin( the rounds in a$ternati'eAunder(round news#a#ers in those da&s6 Tri# 5 #a(e header on ;. was a 9ha#ter tit$e in one o= Ti> ear&<s %ooDs6 The )ni(ht on the %u$$ with the TP antenna on his he$>et on #a(e U3 9a>e =ro> a 'er& artisti9 >a(aEine 9a$$ed Horseshit and #ut out %& two %rothers =ro> on( *ea9h6 I don<t re>e>%er their na>es6 Wonder=u$ >a(aEine6
O99u#ant+ Eris to$d Ma$; what to use and where to =ind it6
Hi$$+ !eah0 in a wa& that is ri(ht6 That is wh& >& na>e does not a##ear an&where on the PRINCIPIA and wh& it was #u%$ished with a %roDen 9o#&ri(htGGRe#rint What !ou iDe6 I Dnew I was taDin( $i%erties and didn<t want >& intentions to %e >isunderstood6 It was an e"#eri>ent and was intended to %e an under(round worD and that in'o$'es a di==erent set o= ethi9s than 9o>>er9ia$ worD6
G&#sie+ There are no rea$ na>es at a$$J
Ha$$+ Oh0 so>e6 Ca>den *enares is a rea$ na>e %e9ause he $e(a$$& 9han(ed his ori(ina$ na>e to his Ho$& Na>e6 A$so0 instead o= usin( Morde9ai Ma$i(natus I used *o% Wi$son<s rea$ na>e on #a(e -; %e9ause Werewo$= *rid(e was a worD %e=ore Dis9ordianis>6 And o= 9ourse rea$ #eo#$e $iDe Nei$s *ohr 9ro# u# in Iuotes6
G&#sie+ What do &ou thinD a%out the PRINCIPIA nowJ Wou$d &ou want to 9han(e itJ
Hi$$+ I 9onsider it a su99ess=u$ worD and I wou$dn<t want to 9han(e it6 In so>e wa&s it is i>>ature and I a> not the sa>e #erson I was -7 &ears a(o0 %ut it a99o>#$ished the o%He9ti'es I set =or >&se$= and it has the e==e9t I wanted it to ha'e6 There are a =ew errors thou(h6
G&#sie+ iDe whatJ
Hi$$+ Oh0 I 9han(ed a Iuote =ro> To> Gnosti9 on #a(e 3- and I don<t thinD he
e'er did =or(i'e >e =or it6 He<s ri(ht6 Star%u9D<s Pe%%$es shou$d ha'e %een #re9eded %& the M&th o= Star%u9D whi9h was %ein( sa'ed =or so>ethin( e$se and ne'er (ot used6 I shou$d ha'e used it when I had the 9han9e6 And then Eris did a neat $itt$e tri9D on >e %& ha'in( I*M >aDe the GreeD se$e9tri9 t&#ewriter e$e>ent not 9oin9ide with a$$ the 9hara9ters on their De&%oard6 So the $itt$e MDa$$istiM that a##ears on the tit$e #a(e and $ast$& on the %a9D 9o'er 9a>e out MDa$$i"tiM and I was too du>% to Dnow the di==eren9e6
G&#sie+ Wi$$ there e'er %e a Fi=th EditionJ
Hi$$+ There a$read& is a Fi=th Edition0 %& Ma$;6 It is a one #a(e te$e(ra> that redu9es e'er&thin( to an in=inite au>6 I =ound it at Western Union where a >a9hine (ot stu9D and Di9Ded out hundreds o= #a(es o= nothin( %ut ><s6 He >ade it the Fi=th Edition and then $e=t6
Prin9i#iaAMa$a9$&#se was a 'er& #ersona$ worD =or >e and a9tua$$& tooD -7 &ears to 9u$>inate6 it was one sin($e state>ent that in9$uded >& ado$es9en9e in the 57<s and >& &oun( adu$thood in the 37<s6 When I =ina$$& had the #asteGu#s done I Dnew that I had =inished it6 That is wh&0 Iuote0 Ma$a9$&#se $e=t6 I Dnew it was =inished6 I didn<t Dnow e"a9t$& what it was0 %ut it was done6
O99u#ant+ SeeJ
G&#sie+ Ear$ier &ou said that &ou >et &our o%He9ti'es6 Fust what were those o%He9ti'esJ
Hi$$+ We$$0 that<s hard to answer %e9ause it De#t re=inin( itse$= o'er the &ears6 In -.3. I >ain$& thou(h o= >&se$= as a 9os>i9 9$own and I set out to #ro'e0 %& de>onstration0 that a deit& 9an %e an&thin( at a$$6
In other words0 #eo#$e in'ent (ods and not the other wa& around6 ater I de9ided that I was doin( so>e Dind o= 9on9e#tua$ art6
In the 57<s >& 9u$ture tau(ht >e that I was 9reated %& and =or a deit&0 a s#e9i=i9 >a$e deit&0 and that a$$ other deities are FA SE6 !et >& (rowin( e"#erien9e showed >e that an& deit& is true in so>e sense and =a$se in so>e other sense6 So I set out to do what >& so9iet& to$d >e is i>#ossi%$eGG>aDe a rea$ re$i(ion =ro> a #atent$& a%surd deit&6
In the 57<s a =e>a$e deit& was %$as#he>&6 In the /7<s a hu>orous deit& is sti$$ 9onsidered i>#ossi%$e0 ridi9u$ous0 and %$as#he>ous6 As =ar as I<> 9on9erned0 I ha'e #ro'en >& #oint6 Eris is a rea$ deit& and e'en thou(h I don<t #ro>ote Erisianis> as a serious re$i(ion6666
O99u#ant+ I doL
De"ter+ !ou s#eaD =or &ourse$=6
I(notius+ Here0 here6
Hi$$+ 666I do #oint out that it >aDes Hust as >u9h sense =ro> its own
#ers#e9ti'e as a$$ the others do =ro> ea9h o= their own #ers#e9ti'es6
O99u#ant+ I thinD #a(anis> is a 'a$id s#iritua$ #ath6 I en9oura(e Erisianis> %e9ause it >aDes =un o= itse$=6 i thinD this is hea$th&6
I(notius+ I= &ou 9an $i'e rewardin($& with Goddess Eris &ou 9an $i'e with an& deit&0 in9$udin( none at a$$6
De"ter+ I don<t >u9h (o =or the worshi# %usiness %ut I ar(ee with O99u#ant a%out the s#irit o= the thin(6 We $i'e in a ti>e o= tur>oi$0 the who$e #$anet is in a state o= 9han(e6 I= we0 as a s#e9ies0 9ower =ro> the 9on=usion then we die with the d&in(6 This is re'o$ution6
I(notius+ I a> an athiest >&se$=6 There is no Gre( Hi$$6
Z$au(hter[
G&#sie Zto Hi$$[ + What do &ou thinD o= I
UMINATUSJ
Hi$$+ Oh0 I $o'e it6 I was =inishin( PRINCIPIA when Shea and Wi$son were worDin( on I UMINATUS6 It tooD De$$ =i'e &ears to #u%$ish it666>a&%e that is
si(ni=i9ant6 The -.3. Dis9ordian So9iet& was a >ai$ networD %etween inde#endent writers o= 'arious Dinds6 Norton Ca%a$ was Hust >e and >& 9hara9ters and I used the other Ca%a$s as sort o= a $a%orator&6 In return other Dis9ordians wou$d %oun9e their stu== o== o= >e6 We wou$d toss in ideas and an&%od& 9ou$d taDe an&thin( out6 It was a 9on9e#t stew6 The e"9han(in( o=
ideas and te9hniIues %roadened and en9oura(ed a$$ o= us6
I $iDe I
UMINATUS =or the surrea$is>6 A 'er& e==e9ti'e >ethod o= writin(6
I(notius+ I (ot >isIuoted6 Worse0 I wasn<t e'en in that s9ene and i= I had %een then I wou$d ha'e said so>ethin( e$se6
De"ter Zto I(notius[+ That was >e in that s9ene6
I(notius+ Oh0 is that what that wasJ
De"ter+ He (ot our na>es >i"ed u#6
Hi$$+ He (ot >i"ed u# a%out >e too0 in COSMIC TRIGGER6 *o% sa&s that when Oswa$d was %u&in( the assassination ri=$e0 >& (ir$=riend was #rintin( the =irst edition o= PRINCIPIA on Fi> Garrison<s ,ero"6 It wasn<t >& (ir$=riend0 it was )err&<sN it wasn<t the FIRST ED PRINCIPIA0 it was so>e ear$ier Dis9ordian thou(htN it wasn<t Garrison<s ,ero"0 it was his >i>eo(ra#hN and it wasn<t Hust %e=ore )enned& was shot %ut a 9ou#$e o= &ears %e=ore that6*
The FIRST ED PRINCIPIA0 %& the wa&0 was re#rodu9ed at ,ero" Cor# when "ero(ra#h& was a new te9hno$oG&#sie6 Whi9h was >& se9ond New Or$eans tri# in -.356 I worDed =or a (u& on *our%on Street who was a ,ero" sa$es>an %& da&6
De"ter+ I thinD that Geor(e Dorn tooD too >u9h (u== =ro> Ha(%ard6 I= so>eone #u$$s a wea#on on >e0 I<> >ore in9$ined to either $ea'e or Di$$ the
sono=a%it9h6
O99u#ant+ !ou are su##osed to %e a #a9i=ist6
De"ter+ I<> s#eaDin( =i(urati'e$& o= 9ourse6 I<$$ te$$ &ou >ore to>orrow6
G&#sie Zto Hi$$[+ Did &ou rea$$& trans$ate eroti9 Etrus9an #oetr&J
Hi$$+ Sure0 %ut I used a #en na>e6 I si(ned it MRo%ert Anton Wi$sonM6
ZA Iui9D ra# is heard on the door[
G&#sie+ I ha'e on$& one Iuestion $e=t666
De"ter+ I<$$ (et it6
G&#sie+ 666what I rea$$& want to Dnow is how 9an we a$$ =it inside o= a tin& $itt$e #ost o==i9e %o"J
De"terZto G&#sie[+It<s a te$e(ra> =or &ou0 =ro> Ma$;6
G&#sie+ To >eJ
ZPa#er tearin([
G&#sie Zreadin([+ MI= I to$d e'er&%od& how the& 9ou$d $i'e inside o= a #ost
o==i9e %o" then e'er&%od& wou$d sto# #a&in( $and$ords and (o $i'e inside their #ost o==i9e %o"es6 It wou$d 9o$$a#se the %ui$din(L Can &ou i>a(ine0 #ost o==i9es 9o$$a#sin( a$$ o'er the 9ountr&0 the he>is#here0 the P ANETL The who$e wor$d<s 9o>>uni9ation s&ste> wou$d %e destro&ed6 No0no0 I >ust not sa&6 I dare notL
GGGGGGGGGGGGG * I 9he9Ded this =urther with Mr6 Thorn$e&6 He sa&s that the wo>an in Iuestion was not his (ir$=riend0 she was Hust a =riend0 and it wasn<t a 9ou#$e o= &ears %e=ore )enned& was shot %ut had to %e a 9ou#$e o= &ears a=ter 8%ut %e=ore Garrison in'esti(ated Thorn$e&:6 GGGS
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC FIFTH EDITION ODDQ In=init&
PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA or A CATERPI AR<S PRAISE TO THE *UTTERF !
%ein( the FINA STATEMENT o= Ma$a9$&#se the !oun(er
#u%$ished %& Foshua Norton Ca%a$ San Fran9is9o 8): A$$ Rites Re'ersed
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCC WESTERN UNION TE EGRAM XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXX

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PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA * or * How I Found Goddess And What I Did To Her When I Found Her

THE MAGNUM OPIATE OF MA AC !PSE THE !OUNGER

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SUSPENDED ANNIHI ATION

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%ein( a *e(innin( Introdu9tion to The Erisian M&sterees

Whi9h is Most Interestin(

as Di'ine$& Re'ea$ed to M& Hi(h Re'eren9e MA AC !PSE THE !OUNGER0 )SC

HAI ERISL GRSG )A

Dedi9ated to The Prettiest One

The U#start o= one hand 9$a##in(

We are a tri%e o= #hi$oso#hers0 theo$o(ians0

THE FIPE COMMANDMENTS 8THE PENTA*ARF:

)NOW !E THIS O MAN OF FAITHL

P G A Dis9ordian is Prohi%ited o= *e$ie'in( What he reads6

IT IS SO WRITTENL SO *E IT6 HAI DISCORDIAL PROSECUTORS WI TRANSGRESSICUTED6

the& are our %rothers0 how 9o>e we 9an<t eat the>J

Western Union Te$e(ra>

Res#e9t=u$$&0 Ma$a9$&#se the !oun(erAO>ni%ene'o$ent Po$&=ather POEE Hi(h Priest

G THE *IRTH OF THE ERISIAN MOPEMENT G THE REPE ATION

FIRST I MUST SPRIN) E !OU WITH FAIR! DUST

ERIS G GODDESS OF CHAOS0 DISCORD O CONFUSION

Mo>o>oto0 Fa>ous Fa#anese0 9an swa$$ow his nose6

THE *ATT E H!MN OF THE ERISTOCRAC! %& ord O>ar

I= a Iui"oti9 so9rates studied Een under Kor%a666J

Peo#$e in a Position to )now0 In96

8Werewo$= *rid(e0 Ro%ert Anton Wison:

GFosh the Di$$ )in( )on( )a%a$

IT IS M! FIRM *E IEF THAT IT IS A MISTA)E TO HO D FIRM *E IEFS6

DO NOT CIRCU ATEL

What We )now A%out ERIS 8not >u9h:

*a'aria6 The aw o= Fi'es states si>#$& that+ A THINGS HAPPEN IN FIPES0 OR

P$ease do not use this do9u>ent as toi$et tissue

REMEM*ER+ )ING )ONG DIED FOR !OUR SINS

Ho Chi Ken is )in( Con(

Heute Die We$t Mor(ens das Sonnens&ste>L

POEE DISORGANIKATIONA MATRI,

III: The House o= the Risin( Hod(e For the *ureau9ra9&

E6 The *reeEe o= au(hter andAor The Wind o= *u$$shit

I: The Out House For what is $e=t o'er

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A##$i9ation For Me>%ershi# In the Erisian >o'e>ent o= the DISCORDIA SOCIET!

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Re'6 Mun(o For O==i9e Use On$& GG a996 reH6 %urned

8!ou >a& %e one o= the $u9D& ;5:

POEE O It<s Priests

ORDINATION AS A POEE PRIEST

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Note to POEE Priests+

The Erisian A==ir>ation

the #residin( POEE O==i9ia$ 8i= an&: res#onds+

=ind the (oddess Eris Within &our Pinea$ G$and POEE

M9o>>on sense is what te$$s &ou that the wor$d is =$at6M

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IT IS M! FIRM E IEF THAT IT IS A MISTA)E TO HO D FIRM E IEFS6

E6 The reeEe o= au(hter andAor The Wind o= u$$shit

THE HONEST OO) OF TRUTH %ein( a I* E o= The Erisian Mo'e>ent

THE ERISIAN MOPEMENT ERIS 8,: O==i9ia$ usiness 8 :Surre#titious usiness