Nine Years by ukashi goshi 1 He couldnt tell his pulse apart from the roaring drums, except that

the one kept stumbling and ached every time it beat against the wounds in his neck. Noisy smells of the freshly cut wood of the cage theyd shoved him into, the oil drenched wood below, the cemetery. He could almost still feel those sharp cold lips! "t was all #umbled and confused, one minute he was sound asleep and the next he was torn from his house by a horde of stark white faces, cruel laughter, and what the hell did $estat have to do with it% Had he really heard them speaking his name, or was he dreaming again% &hen surrounding him, the stench underground, that red haired one had given them permission to do something, he didnt know what, a heavyset one had started for him first, but then he heard another voice, something mocking and pompous and philosophical, '(nyone can be brought down by someone greater than himself...) (nd they pushed forward a fine boned woman not *uite as tall as some of the strapping farm girls back home. +ut the others suddenly let go of him. $ast chance, damn it, who cares if it meant striking a woman, he had to make a run for it. +ut before he could raise a fist or bolt past her, she was upon him, and with delicate hands that would have been at home on the keys of a harpsichord, she held him fast, and he couldnt even knock her off balance. ,hed looked up into his face curiously for a moment, and her eyes terrified him more than anythingfilthy mop of matted hair, moldering rags, demonic strength in her slender arms, and yet in her *uiet face and *uick, intelligent eyes, he recogni.ed a mind like his own, trapped in that fairy tale monstrosity, how was it possible% $anguidly, she had reached up, pulled his neck down to her lips, and bitten down. He almost cried out in panic as he felt sharp teeth stabbing into him, and then a di..ying, sickening pull, over and over, and then the others were upon him, tearing into his wrists, the crook of his elbow, even ripping his breeches to cut into his thigh. /hen he passed out, it was a mercy. (nd now this inhuman screeching and wailing, this must be how my music sounded to 0apa, "m in hell and now " am being punished for everything, get me out " swear "ll never play again, please, anything, #ust one sip of cold water, " swear. He didnt reali.e who he was praying to until he heard $estats voice ringing out, changed and unearthly now, and hope abandoned him completely. 111 (s their tiny troupe gathered for rehearsal barely a month of the ritual of the theater, yet already it felt so familiar they found Nicolas tuning a new violin and

playing scales. /hen he set it down, $aurent asked, '+ut wheres the ,tradivarius%) Nicolas scowled. '"ts got his fingerprints all over it. +esides, this is even better. "f you didnt hear the difference, youve got shit for ears.) &hey huddled close and peered down at the small label inside the violinJoseph Guarnerius fecit Cremonae anno 1743 . /hen they saw, at the far right, a tiny cross above the inscription "H,, they recoiled as if burned, all of them still afraid even to mentally recite the $atin words, Iesus hominum salvator. (ll but 2leni. ,he suppressed a laugh. ,till clinging to the old superstitions! ,he found Nicolas smirking back at her as he took up the bow and announced, '3nly the best for the devils violinist!) and then she laughed outright, though secretly she hoped hed outgrow all this delirious sublime glory of evil nonsense sooner rather than later. Hadnt they had enough of that kind of thing already% ,he wondered if the others lapped it up simply because it was so very similar to what theyd left behind, #ust bathed and combed and splendidly dressed. (h well, he was young, throwing his weight around like anyone that age. He tucked it between his chin and his shoulder and launched into improvisations on familiar melodies. 2ven the *uietest notes, low or high, seemed to resonate directly in their ribs, and as he gathered speed, he built up shattering volumes of sound from a fragile shell of fancily curled wood and a bow that could snap like a twig. /hen the last note died out, 4elix shook his head in ama.ement. '5amn it, Nicki, is that a violin or a cannon%) "n the weeks that followed, no one dared ask to borrow the old ,tradivarius, even though with their new freedom from all the old coven rules they were more than a little tempted. $ocked in its case, it gathered dust in $estats old dressing room, which had already become a storeroom- neither (rmand nor Nicolas wanted anything to do with it, and they walked a little faster whenever they passed that door. (s soon as someone carelessly stowed a few bolts of fabric for costumes in there, pots of greasepaint, bottles of ink, paper and other sundries *uickly followed. (nd as for the 6uarneri, Nicolas made a point of fondly calling it the 'del 6esu) in front of 2ugenie and 4elix and $aurent, #ust to see them flinch, until finally the #oke was old enough that they stopped noticing it. 111 (s the months passed, it was getting harder and harder to find Nicolas when he wandered off, and (rmand constantly worried that hed slip away and kill right in plain sight or, worse, hapha.ardly make another vampire. He could tell that the others wondered why he put up with it as coven master, hed destroyed fledglings for far less but they didnt dare put the idea in his head- they didnt want to lose their violinist.

(rmand remembered stepping out of the cool darkness of ,an 7arco into the da..ling midday sun, voices echoing across the s*uare, pigeons and gulls whirling aimlessly at his feet. "t was nowhere near as blinding as being flung from the catacombs into 18th century 0aris. 4rightening, meaningless splendor, and even if he still had a coven, he wouldnt have had the faintest idea how to lead. +ut Nicolas, for all his vitriol, created out of nothing another world of elaborate ritual. Not the old dark rites and sabbats, of course, but an almost ecclesiastic rhythm of composition, choreography, rehearsal, and performance. /ithout it, (rmand would almost certainly have gone into the fire himself, right on the heels of all those hed massacred. "t was another priesthood9 how precisely its stupidity and shallowness compared to all the cant of the :hildren of 5arkness was beside the point. He hurried through the streets looking for him. Not for the first time, he considered forbidding Nicolas to venture out without one of the others by his side, and not for the first time, he vacillated, entirely unsure which would be worse, Nickis blunders or his inevitable fury at being watched. +ut maybe it would come to that. ,ometimes Nicolas mind was wide open, and he was easier to find than a candle flame in a dark room, but sometimes he seemed to vanish off the face of the earth, impenetrable even to (rmand. (nd for all (rmand could tell, none of it was intentional, and Nicolas didnt even have any idea that it was happening. 2ven so, (rmand could usually find him through the eyes of others. +ut tonight, the streets were relatively empty, and there were not many eyes to look through- it was well past midnight, and a fine rain had been falling lightly for hours. 4inally, by sheer luck, (rmand turned a corner and, from a distance, saw Nicolas standing motionless in the rain in the middle of an empty street. (nd it all happened too fast- a swift carriage came clattering down the street9 the sleepy driver, s*uinting against the dark and the rain, didnt see him until it was too late9 the horses couldnt stop in time, and whinnied and reared up in panic. Nicolas seemed oblivious to all of it, even as the horses hooves thundered down and crushed his leg against the pavement. (rmand rushed to him as the the two couples riding in the carriage got out to see what had happened and the driver leapt down, swearing at Nicolas for scaring his horses and almost upsetting his carriage. He stuttered and gaped, though, when he saw the blood pooling on the pavement, the poor birdbrained mans leg at a hopelessly wrong angle, and what could only be a shard of bone poking through his skin. 3ne of the ladies screamed, and the other cried for her husband to call a doctor, but he seemed rooted to the spot. +ut even as they clustered around Nicolas, those who had the stomach to

inspect the wound saw, to their horror and ama.ement, that it was healing itself. &his was a form of public exposure (rmand hadnt anticipated. "mmediately he reached into the minds of the five mortals, distorting their vision until they saw only a young drunken fool knocked to the pavement, lucky to have escaped with only a few bruises. (nd you could never fail by going straight for the worst of human nature- compassion flickered out easily, and even someone far less talented than (rmand could have encouraged their natural indifference to the suffering of strangers and their indignation at the in#ury the horses could have suffered and the disruption of their *uiet ride home. +y the time the men had finished their pompous lectures on the evils of drink and the self absorbed carelessness of young men these days, and (rmand had finished shaking his head in sad agreement and apologi.ing for the excesses of 'my cousin,) Nicolas was able to stand, albeit shakily. 2ven (rmand was surprised at how *uickly the wounds were healing themselves. 3f course Nicolas had inherited 7agnus powerful blood, but $estat had brought him over so soon after turning 6abrielle9 he wouldnt have thought it possible. +ut there was no arithmetic to these things, and sometimes he thought that the 5ark 6ift made rules only for the sake of making exceptions. (s the sound of the hooves and wheels faded into the distance, (rmand said *uietly, ':ome on, lets go home,) and put an arm around Nicolas waist to support him. Nicolas leaned on him as they made their way slowly back to the theater, still dull and *uiet, and he seemed oblivious both to his in#ury and to its preternaturally rapid healing. (fter a while, (rmand ventured the *uestion, 'Nicolas, what were you doing%) He was silent so long that (rmand thought that he hadnt been listening, but then he said, '" was reading.) "n consternation, (rmand tried to catch some vision from him of what the hell that meant, and maybe in his own way Nicki was trying to explain, because a sense of terrible pattern in the falling rain dawned on him, codes and cadences #ust on the verge of speaking plainly. He shook his head and with great effort shut it out. &hey walked slowly, picking their way over the uneven cobblestones, but even as Nicolas leg healed, he kept his arm around (rmands shoulder, not knowing why, maybe it was simply good, that closeness, maybe after everything it was inevitable, *uickening heart, suddenly self conscious, loneliness and a strong beautiful boy by your side, every touch charged, and neither of them knew who started it, but blindly, confusedly, they found each others lips, shy, tentative, but before long the awkwardness fell away, and they kissed deeply, everything forgotten, bodies knowing exactly what to do and drowning out the uncertainty, and without thinking, (rmand shook his hair back, baring his neck, and Nicolas buried his face in that little hollow beneath the #aw, kissing ferociously, feeling (rmands pulse beneath his tongue, and (rmand wound his fingers through

Nickis dark curls, and as he felt Nickis teeth gra.ing his skin, that first little sting, centuries of loneliness all spiraling down to this one moment, he moaned and pulled him closer, but on the verge of ravaging his throat, Nicolas pulled back, still holding (rmand in his arms, but *uietly, intently studying his face. 'You only want to possess me. (nd only because " was his,) he decided. '/hat%) (rmand gasped. 7aybe in some very small and partial way he was right, but couldnt he see how inconse*uential it was% 'No,) he protested, and he kissed Nicolas again, finding him tortuously pliant, and silently told him, No, no, thats not the whole story, dont you see, without you, dont you know, dont you know how beautiful you are% (nd Nicolas was as flushed with desire as he was, both of them painfully hard, pressing against each other, surely he couldnt keep holding out against him. (nd tasting Nickis mouth, breathing his scent, (rmand couldnt help the memory, it came of itself, of piercing his feverish, tender mortal flesh, hot blood spilling down his throat, when they held him under $es "nnocents, and for a moment he couldnt help madly wanting to possess him again, he was strong enough, Nicolas wouldnt stand a chance. 'You see%) Nicolas said, and (rmand was aghast- was it possible that Nicki had not only read his thoughts, but placed those images in his mind in the first place% He hardly dared think of the implications. +ut Nicolas had already turned away, and they resumed their walk back to the theater, leaning on each other #ust as before, but worlds apart- (rmand numb with shock, Nicolas lapsing back into staring at the fine light rain. /hen they reached the theater, Nicolas absently kissed (rmands cheek, said, '6ood night,) and wandered off to his room. 111 &wo nights later, Nicolas passed out neat copies of a freshly written score to his musicians. (s they read the music, they furrowed their brows. 4elix was the first to look up. '/hat the hell is this%) ,ergei chimed in, '&his is unplayable! "ts not even music!) Nicolas rolled his eyes. '6od, if youre this dumb now, "m glad " didnt know you when you were mortal. 3f course its playable. You read the notes. (nd then you play them.) 2ugenie intervened. '3f course they can play it. +ut the audience wont tolerate it, its too;unorthodox,) she said tactfully. Nicolas laughed in scorn and disbelief. '(nd since when is the &heater of the <ampires worried about being unorthodox%) 6rumbling, they tuned their instruments and began picking their way through the score. (rmand looked on from his box, resting his chin on his hands, and heard dis#ointed layers of randomness which occasionally, as if by accident, converged on seductive or beautiful or terrible harmony. (s the musicians

began to understand, they played with new enthusiasm, and (rmand felt chilled as he finally knew precisely what Nicki had meant when he dreamily announced that he was reading. = (rmand never took to the stage himself, but he faithfully attended every performance. 7arvelous, the things they could hide in plain sight! How easily you could trust people to see only what they expected to see. "t would take something as colossal as one of Nickis blunders for them to suspect. &hough really it was nothing new to him9 even packed into cramped catacombs with do.ens of followers, it had been easy enough to hide himself completely behind an angelic face and a coven masters discipline. "n a few short years, the theater had risen from obscurity to cult adulation. Half empty halls gave way to one sold out night after another, and with practice unlike other theaters, they had no 'season,) and performed ceaselessly year round their skill deepened beyond facile vampiric mimicry. (lready they had admitted more members to the troupe, and with greater numbers, they could perform plays and music they wouldnt have dreamt of before. (nd as director, Nicolas turned out to possess not only a scathing tongue but a talent for training performers up to top of their potential, and he drove himself as relentlessly as any of the others. Yet some evenings, the music stumbled. (t first, (rmand was inclined to ignore it9 it was enough of a battle #ust to keep Nicolas from killing openly or telling any random passer by their secrets. +ut it continued, and he could tell the others were annoyed, though they didnt dare say anything. (nd so one night, when the blood sweat stood out on Nicolas forehead and he almost dropped his bow #ust minutes into the second act, (rmand braced himself to look in his mind. (t once, all the thoughts and heartbeats in their cramped theater thundered in his ears, deafening, crushing. 2ven the violin, nestled so close to his ear, was almost inaudible under the roar. (nd he had the sense of losing his footing on an icy slope- some nights, he managed to shut it out, but sometimes, nothing worked, and it was vertigo, freefall. /ith great effort, (rmand extricated himself. &here were times when Nicolas turned on him, wild eyed, and told him to stop reading his mind, but he neednt have worried- it was unsettling enough that (rmand tried to avoid it whenever possible. &onight, though, he hesitantly tried an experiment. /eaving delirious visions was easier than breathing9 hed even been able to spellbind that brash monster $estat, and all that obscenely powerful old blood hadnt protected him in the least. +ut what he had in mind was something altogether different- what if it could be a process not of creation but of

subtraction% >nsure what to expect, he tried gently pulling thoughts from Nickis mind, siphoning off the noise and the chaos. (nd gradually, Nicolas posture straightened, and his playing returned to its usual precision. "n the weeks that followed, (rmand made a ritual of it, watching from his box and easing Nickis burden whenever he could. >ntil one night, halfway through the first act, Nicolas suddenly turned and glared at (rmand with a mixture of shock and fury. 5uring intermission, 2leni found them backstage. Nicki had (rmand pinned against the wall by the shoulders9 and, more than anything, she was ama.ed to see (rmand tolerating it, since he could easily have crushed Nickis wrists or thrown him to the floor9 and he tolerated the flood of invective as Nicki screamed at him, 'You sneaky bastard, did you think " wouldnt notice what youre doing% Youre taking thoughts right out of my head! Youre stealing my mind from me!) 2lenis shock deepened as (rmand rested a hand on his face and whispered miserably, '" was only trying to help;) 'You and your illusions,) Nicki spat. '"m the only one here who sees things as they really are, and you want to take it away from me!) '+ut youre suffering enormously, you can?t really want to live like this.) ',o what% ,o;fucking;what% "ll take reality over your illusions any day. ,tay out of my mind. Youre not going to control me any longer.) (rmand gently but inexorably removed Nicolas hands from his shoulders and held them in his own. He met Nickis eyes and said, '5o you think youre in control when its all crashing down on you like that% @eality is more of a tyrant to you than " ever could be.) Nicolas opened his mouth but said nothing, only stared, disconcerted, finally at a loss. ':urtain in two minutes,) (rmand said. 111 (s 2leni was tying her hair up, she heard Nicolas yelling something, and then their newest dancer, a tall, broad shouldered blond, rushed backstage, flushed and blinking back tears. 2leni caught his shoulder. '/hat is it%) $ooking down, he said, '7onsieur de $enfent said that " dance like a pregnant milkmaid with burrs in her left stocking.) ,he narrowed her eyes. '3h, he did, did he.) ,he marched to the front of the stage and glared down. 'Niko! 5id you #ust call (nton a pregnant milkmaid with burrs in her left stocking%)

He sneered. ',o what if " did, Helene%) ',o you #ust called me the exact same thing only three weeks ago, thats what! "s that the best you can do, you fat la.y old sow% /ere going to have to tie you down so you can think of some new insults for a change!) ',ow, is it% You must be thinking of my ex teacher, his holiness Herr /olfgang (madeus pretentious blowhard A" write music the way a sow pisses 7o.art.) 2ven as Nicki spoke, he whipped his head around to look at (rmand- at the word '(madeus,) hed registered a spike of agitation, as sharp as a draft of cold air. +ut (rmand was deep in conversation with Bustine, and didnt even appear to have heard. No matter. He picked up the violin and improvised a merciless, whining caricature of 2lenis tone and pitch and rhythm, right down to the accent that still marked her 4rench even after so many years. ,he understood immediately, and began one of their marionette dances in time with it, mocking all of his little tics and *uirks of posture, the precise stiffness of his lower back when he played, the suspiciously vain and showy way he tossed his hair back out of his eyes. (s he watched, he smiled, and spun out a variation on what hed #ust played, and she immediately moved into a variation of the dance, until finally they broke down laughing. &hen 2leni lay down along the edge of the stage, propping herself up on her elbows, and demanded, '4elix, hand me the paper. Heres our next play. &heres a pompous old priest who tells his congregation that they are sinners and theyre all going to hell.) Nicolas continued, '3nly even as hes speaking, they take off their clothes ) :hristophe snorted. '6et your mind out of the gutter! You fledglings, thats all you ever think about.) $aurent burst out laughing. 'AYou fledglings% Nicolas, you were made #ust three years ago.) ( fierce look shut him up. Nicolas continued, '&hey take off their clothes, and underneath theyre wearing angels robes. (nd well build some grand wings for them too. @eal feathers.) He started sketching. 2leni continued, '(nd they sweep him up and tell him theyre carrying him to heaven, and they make all kinds of extravagant promises. (nd when he gets there, at first it seems like paradise C we can make some scrims, a garden of 2den, they should be almost transparent ) ' C but then all of a sudden, at exactly the same time, the scrims disappear, the angels vanish, and the music stops. He is alone on the stage. Nothing happens. (nd we wait a long, long time before dropping the curtain.) Nicolas voice trailed off and he stared into the distance.

'(nd does he try to convince himself that hes in heaven and the only reason he cant see it is because hes a sinner% 3r that 6od has abandoned him%) 2leni mused. '3r does he think its hell, and the angels were demons in disguise%) '2ither way,) $aurent said, 'its not going to go over well out there,) and he gestured to the empty seats. ',o what%) Nicolas asked. '/e are trying to run a theater. 0eople arent going to pay to watch that.) '&hats what you always say.) 'No, really,) 2ugenie chimed in. '&his is different. "ts too;) 2leni knew exactly the sort of '2veryone is blind to the true nature of reality except for me!) rant they were in for even without looking at Nicolas and seeing the corners of his mouth harden. '3f course theyll pay to watch it,) she said. '(nd even if they dont, who cares% /ere sold out almost every night. &he lines go all the way around the corner. (nd,) she added with a wry smile, 'its not like were going to starve.) ,unrise was approaching9 they #otted down a few more notes, and then Nicolas gathered up the papers and carried them off. 111 &he next night, no one saw him leave his room, and they all assumed he was writing. +ut when he didnt venture out the following night, several of them went to check on him. (rmand knocked on the door, and when Nicolas didnt answer, he let himself in. He found him lying on the floor in the dark, facing the wall. (ll the notes for the new play were strewn on his desk, untouched. 3h, not again, (rmand cringed to himself, but he asked politely, 'Nicolas, whats wrong%) No answer. (rmand crouched and touched his shoulder and gently pulled his hair out of his face. 'Youre cold, wont you come out and hunt% &hen well come home, and we can start writing the play.) 'You mean, then " can start writing the play.) (rmand sighed. 'Youll feel better if you feed.) "n an uncanny imitation of (rmands bell like, +otticelli angel of patience tone, Nicki said, '(nd youll feel better if someone else does all the writing for you so you dont have to bother your pretty head about it.)

&he other vampires watched, breathless. ,ome had come out of genuine concern, others for the sheer spectacle of seeing (rmand and Nicki stand off. '"f it comes to that, let me remind you that your talent is the only thing that makes us put up with your sloppy habits. You have no idea how much work you make for us, do you% (ll of us are getting tired of making sure you dont strike down victims in front of the 3pera or leave corpses with gaping wounds right on our doorstep.) '/ell, if its so much trouble for you, then why do you want me to go hunt% $eave me alone.) '3h, do you think that if youre rude enough, "ll leave you alone% /e need a play. 5o you want me to tie you down to the chair again%) '"f you try that trick again, "m not going to write for you. "m not even going to let anyone take dictation.) <ery *uietly, (rmand said, '"n the old days, you would have been sent to the fire the night you were made.) '3h, yes please, tell me all about the old days! You hopeless romantic, dont tell me youre nostalgic for all that filth and s*ualor and dogma already. 3r are you #ust #ealous that someone other than you can command respect here%) (rmand stood abruptly, and the others hurriedly made way for him as he walked to the door. 3n his way out, he glared at 2leni, as if to say, 'You deal with him.) (t a sharp look from her, the few who still lingered by the doorway left and followed (rmand down the hall. 2leni let herself in, closed the door, and sat down on the floor with her back to a wall and her knees to her chest. ,he sat in silence in the dark for some time, then asked, 'Niko, whats wrong%) '"ts too loud,) he said dully. '/hats too loud%) He sighed in frustration, and #ust as 2leni was debating whether to break from her usual reluctance to listen to his mind, a wave crashed down on hereverything was unbearably intense, from the feel of the seams on his shirt to the faint smell of dust and ink in the room to the incessant pressure of thoughts both inside and outside his head. &hat fight shed unwittingly eavesdropped on, uncomprehending- it dawned on her, maybe thats what (rmand meant when he talked about reality as a tyrant. No wonder (rmand seemed to probe his mind less and less9 who wouldnt be frightened of that avalanche% ,he paused. '/hen " was made; Youre new, you know what our senses are, what a shock it is in the beginning. (nd you never really take it for granted, either. +ut anyway, when " was made, it was only a matter of weeks before the old coven caught me, and then my only world was $es "nnocents. You

remember what that place was like when you were mortal;) Her voice trailed off and she cast her eyes down, glad that he couldnt see her. ',o you can imagine what it was like for a new vampire. &hose of us who survived C the only way we could bear it was to learn how to shut it out.) ,uddenly, she remembered the violent chaos in Nickis mind when hed been trapped there as a mortal, and she cursed $estats #udgment Dif you could call it #udgment9 even in a few days ac*uiantance she could tell that you could probably count on one hand the times hed thought before actingE in burdening him with the 5ark 6ift, at least before hed had the chance to grow up a bit. '(nd then when it ended and we began actually living in 0aris! 3f course wed always hunted the city, but to permit ourselves to be part of it, to look on everything without automatic iron self denial! Youve always lived like this, but it was staggering, and it was infinitely more difficult to learn to shut out than the cemetery because it was so beautiful and " didnt want to shut it out.) ,he stopped. He didnt respond, but hed listened patiently, without dropping any cutting remarks. '"s that why you dont want to hunt% +ecause it will #ust be too much%) He made some small noise of assent. '3ther peoples thoughts C its poisoning, its too much, " cant take it. (nd the blood, even the pleasure is unbearable.) "t struck her- what if the ending of the play theyd outlined actually had been something like his idea of heaven% ,ilence, darkness, undisturbed solitude, oblivion. '+ut there are ways around that. :hoose someone dull and not particularly intelligent. ,edate your victim. Niko, "ve seen you do it before, you can do that.) He whispered, ',ometimes " can and sometimes " cant.) '3r...) ,he hesitated. '"ts not really proper, but...you can also feed on animals.) 'You can%) he asked, taken aback. 'You cant really thrive like that in the long run. (nd dont you dare let any of the others catch you doing it, its disgusting well, most everyone thinks its disgusting. 5ont start, " know you dont care what they think, but really, Niko, dont make your life here harder than you have to.) He had arguments on the tip of his tongue, but he pulled himself up and and let her guide him out into the cold night air. /andering through the streets together after feeding, Nicolas still felt besieged, but it was true, warmed with the blood, he did actually feel a little better, and at any rate he was in no hurry to return to the theater. (s they walked, he asked abruptly, '/ho was (madeus%)

,he looked up at him. '/hat%) 'You know, why did (rmand panic so much at the name (madeus%) ,he shook her head and smiled wryly. '(rmand, panic% "ve known (rmand for *uite a while, and he doesnt panic.) His face hardened. '3h, " suppose you think " was hallucinating!) ,he broke into simple, benign laughter. ':ome on, Niko, everyone knows you hallucinate. "ncluding you. +ut thats not what " meant all. @eally, " dont know what youre talking about. /hat happened%) He finally stopped glaring at her suspiciously and said, '"t was the other night during rehearsal. " forget what happened, but " said something about 7o.art, /olfgang (madeus 7o.art, and as " said (madeus, (rmand, you know ) he gestured helplessly. 0u..led, 2leni asked, '/hat did he do% " didnt see him do anything.) '/ell, he didnt, but it was right there, " could almost smell it. You cant possibly mean to tell me that you didnt notice.) &here was no point in telling him that she had no idea what he was talking about, so she said, '$ets go home. /e have to work on the play.) F 4or once they bothered to dress conventionally, 2leni slipping into a dress instead of the trousers she favored more and more lately, and sat among mortals to listen to a harpsichordist play the (rt of the 4ugue. &he music was over thirty years old, but it was new to her. Not for the first time, she cursed herself for going along with all the nonsense of $es "nnocents. ,he could have been up in the world listening to this! ,he could have met +ach himself9 procuring invitations was never difficult for her. +ut, she reflected, what choice did she have% (rmand would certainly have tortured and killed her if she had tried to leave the coven. ,he tried to set aside what could have been and listen to the music. How had he done it% "n any other hands, it would have been a set of sterile geometric exercises, but here, how could it be, they opened corridors to the sublime. ,he didnt know if Nicolas had heard it before, but she could tell that he liked it tooas so often, the fingers of his left hand moved against his palm, unconsciously pressing imaginary strings to the fingerboard. (t the end, he was the first to rise to his feet and applaud, and as they sauntered through the crowds, he told 2leni, '"m going to play that.) '3h% (re you going to learn the harpsichord%)

He smiled. 'No.) ,he shrugged. '/ell, "m sure you can get at least ,ergei and 5elphine to #oin you in an ensemble;) His smile widened. 'No. "m going to transcribe it for solo violin.) ,he stopped and stared at him. 'Niko, youre cra.y. Nobody can play a four voice fugue on one violin.) '/hats the point of being a vampire if you cant do the impossible%) he laughed, a little too loudly. :ringing, she caught the eyes of those who had turned to stare, and with a look and a gesture offered up her exasperation- oh, my little brother, drinking like a fish and saying the most outrageous things #ust to shock people! (nd when they moved in society, he often was mistaken for her younger brother. &hough the resemblance began and ended with their dark eyes and dark curls, that was enough for people to la.ily settle on the most convenient explanation9 after all, a respectable man and woman out alone together could only be relatives of blood or marriage, and since she was visibly older, marriage was less likely. &he pro#ect turned out to be more than a passing whim. 4or months, he tried to coax four simultaneous voices out of one woefully limited instrument. 2ven with vampiric speed and dexterity, it was close to impossible. (s it took shape, she reali.ed that the times when she looked down to the orchestra pit mid performance and tried to catch his panicked eye and reassure him were becoming a little less fre*uent, and she wondered about his obsession with simultaneity and multiplicity. "f nothing else, it kept him occupied, and they all grew used to him spending long hours with the (rt of the 4ugue. (rmand in particular liked that severe, haunting melody, and happily listened in as he took inventory one night, after the others had all gone out. (ny of them would have #umped to relieve him of such a menial task, of course, but (rmand actually en#oyed it. "t was useful work, after all, something hed sorely missed for a long time. He cataloged their supplies of ink, paper, greasepaint, cloth, lumber, paints, brushes, candles, all the sundries needed to keep the theater going, making notes of what needed to be ordered- in addition to all the usual things, a cello to replace the one Nicki smashed when (nton praised his latest play too effusively, and more hammers, picks, wheelbarrows, and chisels to open up the labyrinth theyd found below. 6ustave, who had been an architect in his mortal life, had noticed a hollow sound below certain parts of the cellar, and when he began digging, they were all ama.ed- @enauds little theater sat right on top of an abandoned *uarry, part of the hidden city of obsolete mine tunnels and *uarries and catacombs beneath the city. &hey were only #ust beginning to explore, to find out how far those hidden corridors stretched, and to carve out living space in the subterranean dark.

(s (rmand rummaged through their storerooms, Nicolas steady work on the transcription soothed him and kept his mind busy, the process of playing, trying this out, pausing to #ot down notes, crumpling paper, trying again, teaching himself to forget all the limitations hed learned in his mortal life. (fter a series of frustrated, abortive attempts at sorting out a thorny passage, Nicolas must have gotten tired- he gave up on counterpoint for a while and amused himself by improvising simple variations, moving further and further away from the theme until it was almost unrecogni.able. 2ven the timbre of the violin seemed to change, no longer glossy, but deepening to something hoarse, whispering, the way those instruments used to sound back when the bows looked like archers bows. (t first (rmand en#oyed it, but he grew increasingly uncomfortable, and when he finally reali.ed why, he fro.e. He hadnt heard that melody in hundreds of years. &here were words that went with it, they used to sing it together as they ground pigments or filled in clouds and landscapes on canvases in the drowsy late afternoon sunlight, why couldnt he remember the words! He used to teach it to the new boys, why couldnt he remember% He set down pen and paper and crossed the empty stage slowly, watching Nicolas play, torn between desperately wanting to ask him and desperately wanting the music to continue undisturbed. +ut Nicolas noticed him and paused. (rmand #oined him in the orchestra pit, seeing that he wasnt angry at being interrupted. 'Nicolas,) he said. '/hat was that% /here did you hear that%) Nicolas looked confused, far off. '" heard it; &here was a vast room, with a marble floor, and the sun was warm;) He set down the violin and bow. '&here was a smell, " cant *uite place it C maybe thats it,) he murmured. $ooking down, he noticed something, and took (rmands hands in his own. &hey both saw fresh paint on his fingers. (rmand closed his eyes, but it was no use, he could smell the paint, he could almost feel it, the precise texture of the egg tempera. Not real, not real, my hands are clean, he repeated to himself, but it was crushing him, this sweet window to those golden days with the other boys, right next to this life hed found himself thrown into, creating horrid miracles on the stage. :old and dark, and the only thing keeping them going was the act of creation, even if they could only make monstrosities. He could smell the dust in the sunlight in the thrumming *uiet of the late afternoon. +affled at (rmands panic, Nicolas asked, 'You were #ust painting scrims, werent you%) He opened his eyes and still saw the paint, and even the proportions of the hall seemed to have shifted. Not real, my hands are clean. 'Nicki. &ell me. /here did you hear it%)

Nicolas looked helpless, and (rmand wondered for a cra.y minute if hed been thrown into a purgatory where he was paying for every illusion hed ever cast over anyones mind. His heart hammered against his ribs, and he fought in vain to drive back the visions. 7y hands are clean, he repeated to himself, staring at the paint on his fingertips, and blinked back tears, hearing the music again even as Nicolas set down the violin. He racked Nicolas mind, silently demanding/hy, how% (nd the truth, for all he could tell, frightened him even more. Nicolas had absolutely no idea what he was doing. '(nd " was thinking of a play to go with it,) he said. '&heres a great lord with many sons, but one is his favorite, and he lavishes every imaginable luxury on him. +ut then in the middle of a ban*uet, an evil priest steals the favorite son away. &he priest and his followers are marionettes, but the boy is alive. &he son reaches for his father, but the father is too busy feasting and messing around with his favorite courtesan to notice.) (rmand wanted to forbid it, to threaten Nicolas with yet another imprisonment, anything to stop the play from going forward. +ut that would mean certain discovery. His only chance was to sustain Nicolas assumption that he was inventing, not discovering. @evelation, of all things, was the only place left to hide. He mused, '(nd what if the priest ties cords to the boy and makes him a marionette% (nd over time, he moves less and less like a human being.) '/ho should we get to play him%) Nicolas asked. '7aybe $aurent, he looks young;) 'Yes. $aurent. (nd maybe he goes on to trap other children, to make them puppets too.) '(nd lets have his father on stage the whole time, feasting and drinking and completely oblivious.) Nicolas paused, and looked at (rmand in surprise. 'Youre *uite good at this, you know. How come you never told me you could make stories%) (rmand swallowed with a dry throat. '" thought you wouldnt like the intrusion.) Nicolas shrugged. 'You could write sometime too, if you like.) '3h;) (rmand demurred, with a vague self deprecating gesture. He blinked and drew a deep breath. '6oodnight, Nicolas.) &he room still wouldnt come right, and he heard right next to his ear caressing, easy laughter and syllables of "talian. He left the inventory unfinished and rode out of the city to his villa as *uickly as he could. 5uring the plays short run Dand nearly all runs were short, one of the attractions of the &heater of the <ampires was the breathless turnover, one da..ling spectacle after another, see it while you can, your life is short and so is the

playsE, (rmand sat in his box for every performance, as usual, and applauded politely as the curtain fell. G &oo much, too fast. "n only eight years, the six of them had grown to almost twenty. 3f course, in the beginning they simply needed more actors, dancers, musicians9 no matter how versatile and inventive they were, there was only so much they could do with their limited resources, especially since (rmand refused to take to the stage himself. &hey admitted a couple vampires who had traveled to see them and boldly knocked on the door begging to #oin the troupe, and then began accepting and turning one mortal after another, always under (rmands direction. /hat no one had foreseen was the overheated #ealousy and lust and estrangement and bitterness that followed. 7akers and fledglings fell out of love and sought refuge with others, who themselves nursed old wounds, and turned on each other9 and if it wasnt love and hate, it was greed for status that drove the constant waterwheel of intrigues. 2leni could barely keep up with all the machinations, and had no desire to9 allegiances seemed to shift almost daily. ,ometimes she wondered- the old coven had been one of the largest in 2urope, but as far as she could remember, they had lived together in something like harmony. +ut of course, love was deemed unsuitable for the children of ,atan, and if the pleasure of bathing was forbidden, how much more so other things! (nd, she reflected, no matter how absurdly deluded they were, they at least had pretentions of being saints9 but all these new fledglings they were #ust a bunch of actors. (nd as the new coven grew, with thrilled curiosity they kept working away at opening up the old, long abandoned mine tunnels and *uarries beneath the theater. /henever they werent performing and rehearsing, they were exploring and carving out much needed living space, since the theater above couldnt contain them anymore. Not that it helped curb all the swarming chaos in the slightest. +ut at least it was easier to get away from it for those who wished. 2leni had had more than enough chilly subterranean dampness to last her the rest of her immortal life, and though Nicolas never talked about his imprisonment under $es "nnocents in the last days of his mortal life, he applied all his inventiveness to finding excuses to avoid going underground. &hey gladly kept their snug, wood paneled rooms upstairs, and over the years, they got used to wandering across the narrow hall to visit one another. 7any nights, they spoke only a few words to each other, Nicolas hunched over his desk writing plays, 2leni lying on her stomach on top of his coffin, propped up on her elbows, reading a novel or sketching ideas for choreography, reaching down now and then to dip her pen into the bottle of ink on the floor. "t had been so long since 2leni had lived anywhere other than a cemetery that even a cramped room barely big enough for a coffin, a desk, and a chair was a

heavenly retreat, but above all, it was comfortable to escape the maelstrom downstairs, to talk idly together or simply to work in silence. (nd maybe it was a yearning for escape that made her notice, right in the middle of a flying leap on stage, a mortal woman in the audience ga.ing at her, rapt, and maybe that was why the vision of that face remained with her long after the theater had emptied and she had washed off the greasepaint and set out to hunt- a young woman, not far past twenty, with dark blond hair and dark gray eyes, fierce and lovely and unhappy. &he next night, she was there again, again on the arm of her bored and vaguely uncomfortable husband. +ut this time, after the play, she #oined the crowds of eager mortals who pressed around them backstage a new custom (rmand and Nicolas had gleefully agreed on, accepting visitors backstage to meet the musicians and the few actors who did not pretend to be marionettes Deven after all these years, they kept the public guessing and hotly debating whether the marionettes were puppets or human beingsE, yet another layer of splendid illusion and she boldly walked straight to 2leni with an armful of fresh irises, and with racing heart, 2leni reached for her hand beneath the sheaf of flowers. (nd so began their affair. "seult had dedicated herself to dance in her childhood, a passion her parents humored as a harmless childish whim, because certainly no daughter of theirs would do something so inappropriate as to take to the stage in earnest. &hey were shocked when she was not thrilled that they had made a very coveted match for her, a bachelor ten years her senior with a rising career in finance. (gainst her loud protests, they reminded her that she was one of too many daughters, and she should thank 6od for her good fortune9 and protests or not, there was no choice. (s for @einald, he congratulated himself on his cleverness and magnanimity, and though only a newlywed, he offered sage advice to all his older married friends- if your wife has a hobby, let her keep up with it now and then if she thinks she has a little freedom, shell be more content, and the whole household will run more smoothly. /ith lordly benevolence, then, he had ac*uiesced to his wifes demand for a second visit to the &heater of the <ampires, and looked on placidly as "seult offered flowers to that trim dark haired dancer, and even allowed them to strike up an ac*uaintance. ,ome of his friends were scandali.ed, but he only shook his head9 they simply couldnt understand a progressive modern man like himself. "f 2leni only visited late at night, well, that was only to be expected, wasnt it% &hose theater people kept such odd hours. He even greeted her himself occasionally when she came to their townhouse, and was pleasantly surprised at her refined manners. 2leni also took care to make herself popular with the servants, bringing them cognac and newspapers and sensationalistic popular stories, chatting with them, even privately arranging for an excellent doctor to look in on the housekeepers ailing son. (nd so they blithely looked the other way as 2leni and "seult locked themselves up together.

(t first, they were in love with the idea of escape as much as anything, 2leni wonderfully soothed by the polished townhouse and the tame gossip of the mortal servants, so mild compared to the theater, and "seult fascinated at knowing a real dancer and actress. (nd they were both reeling in the bliss of having a lover for the first time. "seult had known only a few stolen kisses from girls who later turned on her, coldly telling her that they were only fooling around, how could she be so daft as to take it seriously% (nd 2leni had been the youngest child of a too large a family working a farm in (ttica with rocky, rust colored soil that barely yielded enough to feed them all. Her mother had died young9 miraculously she still didnt know *uite how theyd done it theyd managed to scrape together a dowry for her only sister to marry9 and so she was left playing mother and maid of all work to her brothers Dnone of whom married, and for good reasonE and her father, and there was barely enough time for sleep, let alone friendships. (nd then she caught the eye of a dark haired traveler. Handsome though he was, she was not attracted to him in the least, but she was almost thirty already, and this was probably the last chance shed ever have to get away. <ia cold calculation, she arrived at a passable impression of a pliant, encouraging, lovelorn female. ,he eloped without a backward glance, and had no idea whatsoever of the exact nature of his extravagant promises of a new life until his teeth were in her throat. &hey traveled swiftly, constantly pushing north- he had always wanted to go to 0aris. ( little over forty five minutes after they entered the city, the coven sei.ed them. 2lenis maker denounced them with impassioned, elo*uent speeches which lasted precisely as long as it took them to build a pyre. 2leni, however, had no intention of landing any other way than on her feet, or of giving up the ex*uisite immortal life shed #ust begun to taste. /ithout hesitation, she solemnly took the 5ark <ows and pledged herself as a :hild of ,atan. (s she recited all that fancy old nonsense, the leader, that astonishingly beautiful red haired boy, looked straight at her. 2ven without knowing yet what other vampires were capable of, she felt him plundering her mind, and knew he could tell that she didnt believe a word of it. (nd probably the only thing so far that night that had caught her interest he clearly didnt care. ,uddenly intuiting that he didnt believe it either, she tried to copy what shed felt him doing and clumsily reached toward his mind. 0erfectly locked, of course, but he smiled affably at her. :ounting back the years as best she could, she guessed that she must have #oined the 0aris coven around 1HG1. ,he endured it, stealing what forbidden pleasures and knowledge of the world she could under the guise of their sanctified mission of hunting and terrifying the city above. 0enury, patience, biding her time- 2leni was a master of starvation. &he one thing she was utterly unprepared for was abundance. "t undid her completely, lying with "seult, each of them awestruck at finally

having a beautiful lover in her arms, exploring each others bodies as if in a trance, making love three or four times in a night, and after all the ecstasy, they were #ust two women ga.ing at each other and finding that, though there was one thing 2leni could never mention, they never ran out of things to say. Nicolas couldnt fail to notice her absences or the dreamy look on her face as her attention drifted from her book. He considered it his sacred duty to tease her about it, but she was too happy to care, and far too distracted to notice that he was getting in trouble more and more often. I /arm with the kill, Nicolas made his way through the narrow back corridors of the mansion and found the other musicians ad#usting their wigs and double checking the tuning of their instruments for the private ball. ( gray haired flutist frowned at him. '/ho the hell are you%) Nicolas gravely told them that their first violinist had fallen ill and sent him in his place, they were old friends, surely hes mentioned me% &he persuasion worked its way into them, and they nodded absently- of course, you must be 0hilippe, he knew you at >niversity, didnt he% Nicolas had no idea that he was manipulating their minds9 all he knew was that sometimes people believed him and sometimes they didnt. He was also unaware that he was silently leaning on them to forget any *uestions about his identity and instead notice his violin. &he second violinist looked closer and gasped, '&hats not an authentic del 6esu, is it%) /ith his most charming smile, Nicolas said, ',ee for yourself,) and handed it to him. &he other man handled it reverently, eyes wide as he read the label, and hardly believed his luck when Nicolas asked him, '/ould you like to give it a try%) '" couldnt possibly;) he demurred, but Nicolas insisted, and the man sighed with pleasure as he ran up and down scales and then played the opening bars of the nights first walt.. &he cellist pulled out his pocket watch. '&he two of you ) he smiled wryly at the second violinist and the del 6esu, still cradled under his chin ' will have to continue your ac*uaintance later. /ere due out in two minutes.) He pulled out a hip flask and passed it around. /ithout thinking, Nicolas took several deep gulps, oblivious to how wrong it tasted, how it burned his throat. &hen they opened the heavy double doors and filed out to their seats on the dais. &hey struck up delicate minuets and contredanses. 7uch of it Nicolas hadnt ever heard before. 3f course, sight reading would have been effortless, but he found that he didnt even need to9 it was as if he had rehearsed already.

4or a while he went along docilely enough, lulling the guests as they stepped across the wide polished floor. (nd then he began what hed come to dochanging a note here or there, inserting a superfluous melodic line that changed everything, and with preternatural dexterity picking up some of the notes of the other instruments, playing over them only to distort them. He almost didnt need to9 some of the other musicians seemed caught up in his dream, straying from the score down the same dark path together. He stubbornly ignored the ache growing in his head and belly, chalking it up to the heat and the relentless glitter of the chandeliers and gilt moldings, pushing it away as he pursued his plan with demonic concentration. (mid the froth of silk, the faces of some of the guests began to darken as they felt the room tilt and an abyss open under their feet. 3ne man seemed unaffected, though. ,light and unassuming, he leaned against a wall, and while pretending to inspect his fingernails, he watched sweat was it tinged red% breaking out on the violinists forehead as his hands began to tremble, and when he set down his violin and bolted for the door, the man sauntered out after him. >nseen, he followed Nicolas as he rushed down back staircases and out the servants door, collapsed on the flagstones in the garden, and vomited great *uantities of blood only yards away from the corpse of the ensembles usual violinist, lying cold and pale with his throat torn. &he man watched intently, as if memori.ing, until suddenly someone grabbed him from behind and clapped a cold hand over his mouth and growled, '&alamasca.) +efore he knew it, a dark hood was tied over his head, and he could hardly breathe, and he heard only a confusion of unnatural voices cursing someone who shouted back at them, and a hurried debate on how best to dispose of the body and clean up the blood. He was thrown into a carriage, and the last thing he heard before losing consciousness was a young man screaming frantically, '&he del 6esu! 5amn it, turn around, we cant leave it behind!) (rmand imprisoned Nicolas in 7agnus old tower. 4or three nights, he screamed for blood and for his violin. /hen (rmand released him, starved and shaking, he neglected to mention that they had recovered the violin from the mansion until several nights later. (s for the man, he was returned, feverish and delirious, to the &alamasca, who began drastically revising their official protocols for investigating vampires. (s soon as Nicolas had recovered, 2leni took him aside. 'Niko, why%) '+ut it was brilliant! You should have seen the looks on their faces as the music changed, it was better than anything we do here ) 'Not that. " dont care, go make art wherever you want, make the entire population of 0aris see the darkness inherent in all things ) she rolled her eyes ' #ust please, be careful how you feed.)

He scowled. '/ell, it turned out alright.) '3nly because (rmand cleaned up after you and scared the hell out of that poor &alamasca fellow.) '" dont need (rmand to rescue me...) he muttered. 'No, if you used common sense, you wouldnt. 5ont you understand% &his isnt a game. "f youre caught vomiting up buckets of blood right next to an exsanguinated corpse, it wont be long until someone follows you here. (nd if they do, they can destroy us all. 4ire, daylight... /ere not omnipotent, you know.) He was silent. &hen, suddenly curious, she asked, '(nd why were you sick anyway% &hat doesnt happen to us.) He looked down. '" dont know..." might have drunk something...) ',omething%) '" dont know..." dont remember...maybe some brandy they were passing around.) '/hat%) she asked, incredulous. 'You couldnt have even swallowed the stuff! Niko, all of us get curious at some point we remember a favorite drink, a dish we loved and nobody, " mean nobody, can get past even tasting it. 3nce you have it, you can barely even put it in your mouth, and if you do ) she made a face. '" didnt notice, alright%) he snapped, and it was then that she reali.ed #ust how unwell hed been when hed embarked on the whole fiasco, and she felt tired, too tired, maybe if shed been around she could have prevented it, but it was #ust too much, she couldnt do everything. ,he was spending more and more time with "seult, and the happier it made her, the more miserable it made her. ,he had always taken care to feed well before their trysts, and she was adept at passing for mortal even in her lovers arms. &he warmer summer nights helped, too, buying her a couple more hours until the heat and flush of the blood faded away. ,o easy to blur others perceptions! +ut as the months passed and she lived more and more for these visits, she grew weary of secrecy and dreamed of telling "seult everything. /hich, in her constant daydreams, was only the prelude to offering to bring her over. &o be together, really together, and to give "seult the life shed been sorely cheated of! (rmand would agree to it9 he trusted her #udgment, and it was so seldom she asked for anything, and "seult was a prodigiously gifted dancer. +ut she was frightened at the thought of such intimacy. ,he hadnt made another vampire for many decades, and even then, it was only at (rmands orders, for the good of the coven. ,hed never given the blood out of love, and enthralling as the thought was, it also frightened her9 the new coven at the theater was growing too *uickly as it was, and how could she be sure that the

two of them wouldnt become yet another footnote in the melodrama of estrangement and backbiting% 3ver time, though, the idea became irresistible. +ut #ust as she had almost worked up the courage to speak, something stopped her in her tracks. (t first, she couldnt be sure9 it was so subtle, #ust a slight change in her lovers scent. +ut one night, as she trailed adoring kisses from "seults nipple down to her hip, eager to part her thighs and the sweet cleft beneath her golden hair, she fro.e. +eneath the familiar rhythm of her lovers heartbeat, she heard another heart, very *uiet, but impossibly high and fast, a hummingbird caught under that still smooth belly. "seult was too far gone to notice 2lenis trembling, and #ust moaned, '5ont stop, please dont stop,) and 2leni recovered herself enough to obey. (fter they kissed goodnight and she left "seult sleeping, 2leni wandered numbly, and finally sat in the doorway of an abandoned building and cried wretchedly and tried to think what to do. "n the end, the only idea she could come up with was to keep it a secret as long as possible. ,he knew that "seult lived in terror of having a child, and now that the dark gift was forbidden, the only gift she could think of to give her was a few more weeks of happy ignorance, before the signs would be obvious even to someone so young and inexperienced. 111 /hen she got home, after feeding again not that she needed it, it was #ust blind want Nicolas burst through her door #ust as she was taking her shoes off. '3h, Helene, "m glad youre back, youll never believe what (rmand said to me, that bastard, "m going to ) '7on 5ieu, you and (rmand,) she sighed. '/hy dont the two of you #ust go to bed with each other already and get it over with%) Nicolas stopped, speechless. He would have been enraged if he hadnt been so stunned. (fter all, he was an expert at ignoring the undercurrent of self consciousness whenever they were in a room together, the little charge whenever their hands touched, the complicated semiotics of exactly how close to stand to one another9 and if the two of them could ignore it, how was it possible for anyone else to notice% 4inally, he recovered enough to snarl, '+ecause " dont like him, thats why. (nyway, why dont you go ask him that%) '6ood idea. " think " will.) ,he turned to go. '/ait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 2leni, are you drunk%) 'No.) '" think youre drunk. $et me guess, you fed on some lush twice your si.e who

was already half passed out when you took him.) 'No, " didnt. ,o what if " did% " can handle it.) '(nd speaking of going to bed... /here have you been, anyway%) '3h...nowhere.) 'A3h...nowhere,) he mimicked her. 'Nice try. " could smell her on you before " even walked into the room. +et " could even tell you what kind of soap she uses.) ',ince when do you know anything about soap%) she scoffed, wrinkling her nose at his unlaundered shirt, lace at the cuffs dusty and ink splotched, collar stained faintly brown from blood sweat. '(nyway, none of your business.) ':ome on, " know all about your pet mortal ) Her temper flared. ',he is not my pet!) '/ell, then what do you suggest " call her% $over% 7istress% /i ) ',hut up!) she screamed. 'Bust shut up!) (nd she broke down crying. He put his arm around her shoulders. 'Hey, "m sorry, " didnt mean to ) ,he wiped her eyes, furious at her tears, struggling to regain her composure. '(t least now " know for sure- you only cry when youre drunk.) 5ont " wish, she thought. ,he sniffed and tried to smile, and let him prattle away, anything he could think of, a new novel from 2ngland, society gossip, the latest performance hed heard about at the :omedie 4rancaise, and when they could tell from the leaden fatigue overtaking them that the sun was about to rise, she kissed his cheek and rumpled his hair before closing the door and shutting herself in her coffin. 111 /hen "seult finally reali.ed, 2leni found her in tears, and there was nothing she could do but hold her as she let out her rage and panic and despair. ,he finally stopped crying solely out of exhaustion, and she let 2leni hold her, but wouldnt meet her eyes. 2leni stroked her cheek and asked, '/hat is it youre not telling me%) /ith shaking voice, fighting down fresh tears, "seult said, 'Youre going to leave me now, arent you%) 2leni protested fiercely in a rush of ardent denials and kisses, no, never, "ll

never leave you. +ut in the months that followed, simply being next to this boring, ordinary miracle of mortal life was unnerving. 2leni had never been given to grandiose inner dramas about damnation, and it bothered her not in the slightest to lose herself in soft kisses not an hour after sei.ing a man, drinking all the blood in his body, and throwing his corpse in the ,eine. Yet as she registered acutely every subtle change in "seults gait and felt flutters of movement whenever her hand strayed over her belly growing rounder by the week long before "seult herself could feel them, suddenly she couldnt think of things to say, and didnt know whether to stand or sit or what to do with her hands. +urning with shame at her own weakness, she began wondering how to do what she had sworn even to herself that she would never do. 3f course, by the time 2leni resolved to end it, "seult knew already. +ut she could never have expected what 2leni had decided, after long contemplation, to tell her- everything. "seult laughed in sheer incredulity. '&he &heater of the <ampires%) (nd then, as it sank in, with a sad, awkward smile, she said, '(nd all this time " never guessed. You must think "m so stupid.) 2leni shook her head. 'You must think "m a liar and a coward. (nd you wouldnt be wrong. " should have told you a long time ago.) '(nd you were going to; You would have brought me into this%) 2leni nodded, cheeks burning, eyes downcast, not bothering to hide her tears. ,he whispered, '(nd if "d only told you a little sooner;) "seult reached out and wiped 2lenis tears, marveling at the blood on her fingertips. '+ut is it really too late%) she asked, one hand straying unconsciously to her belly. '" mean, what would happen% /ould it;%) 2leni knew all about the herbs and poisons "seult had tried in vain to stop the thing growing inside her. '" have no idea.) ,he shuddered. '" hope nobody knows. +ut " know that it would not be what you wish.) '+ut then after the confinement! (s soon as "m rid of it!) '" couldnt take you away from the child.) "seult clenched her fists. '(re you cra.y% Have you been ignoring everything for the last few months% " dont want this thing! "d give it away as soon as its born if hed let me!) '" know,) 2leni said gently. '+ut "ve been watching mortals and "ve been watching vampires being made for a hundred and fifty years, and believe me, no matter how much you hate the thought of this child, no matter how badly you want to be rid of it, you would hate me even more for taking you away from it.)

'( hundred and fifty years...) she whispered, momentarily distracted. &hen, reali.ing that 2leni wouldnt back down any more than her parents or her husband whenever they played the '"m older and wiser) card, she looked up, clear eyed. '&hen kill me now.) '/hat%) 2leni gasped. '&hats what you do, isnt it% "t would be such a simple thing for you. Jill me now, so that " dont have to endure this.) 2leni folded her into her arms and whispered into her hair, 'Never. You know " cant. You know " love you too much.) "seult ran her fingers through 2lenis dark curls and kissed her face, marveling at the smoothness and utter difference of her skin now that she was finally permitted to notice it. '&hen, will you...can you...) she asked, blushing, hesitant. '5rink from me. ,o that " can know. ,o that " can give you that before you leave me. ,o that " can know what it is.) 2leni could hardly believe what she was hearing, shed wanted it so long, for all the ecstasy of each others bodies there was always the terrible, parched thirst, the one pleasure that was forbidden, and "seult couldnt know how beautifully that blush colored her cheeks, how it sharpened her scent, the desire was tearing her to pieces, and "seult must have seen her wavering, because she pulled her closer and said simply, '" want you to.) 2leni kissed her slowly, heart racing, hardly daring, and then trailed a flurry of kisses down to her throat. "seult gasped as the fangs pierced her skin, so much more painful than shed expected, but then it was #ust heavy, drowsy rapture, nothing in her life could ever have prepared her for such an intimate union, and when 2leni pulled away Dtoo soon, she could feel the strain on "seults already overburdened heartE they ga.ed at each other in wonder, an ocean away from everything before, and neither of them knew whether it would be easier or harder to part ways now. 4inally, "seult said, '"f you cant take me from this life now, will you come back to me when this child is grown and doesnt need me anymore%) (nd something about her calm and resignation, old for her years, broke 2lenis heart anew. 7isreading 2lenis expression, she cast her eyes down and asked, '/ill " still be beautiful to you%) '3f course you will,) 2leni murmured. '(lways. (nd " promise, " will come back. +ut you may not want me anymore.) "seult fervently denied it, and then 2leni could see her utter youth, and she held back from trying to tell her how much could change in only a few years, since nothing but time would convince her of that.

(nd she had a di..ying sense of paths opening up like spokes on a wheel, and she could easily imagine so many different directions her lovers life could take, and many of them ended with "seult welcoming her merely with tepid, polite amicability, exchanging pleasantries over wine that 2leni could not drink, and parting again, this time forever, with formal, hollow kisses on the cheek. (nd the worst part was that she would survive it, that even such staggering pain would inevitably become #ust a memory. H 4or the first time since the founding of the theater, 2leni was absent from rehearsal. Nicolas walked in to a drone of gossip, and though usually he lavished an extravagant verbal crucifixion on anyone who dared show up even a few minutes late, he ignored all the malicious chatter about mooning over pet mortals and *uickly sent everyone to their stations. $ater that night, as he sat writing at his desk, he reali.ed with a start that it was almost morning and he hadnt heard anything from her all night. /hen he knocked on her door, there was no answer. He hastily pulled on a coat and wandered blindly through the streets, looking for her, fighting back fear as the sky lightened and a single bird woke up and began to sing. He finally found her sitting slumped against a wall in a back alley behind an opium den, with a victim not far from her, and that alone alarmed him- usually she was obsessively fastidious about covering up the kill. '2leni!) he called out. ':ome on, its almost morning!) ,he looked up vaguely, heavy and indifferent, and if her eyes, like his, were beginning to ache with the coming light, she didnt show it. He pulled her up, but she wouldnt walk fast enough. &here was no choice- he picked her up and carried her. 2ven when he was mortal, she would hardly have been a burden9 now, she felt lighter than a child as he rushed back to the theater, barely ahead of the dawn. 111 &he next night, &omas. threw a newspaper down in front of Nicki with a headline about a 'vampire killing.) '$eaving the evidence lying around again, $enfent%) he asked in disgust. ,kimming the paragraphs, (strid chimed in, '(nd an opium den% @eally, isnt your head addled enough as it is%) Nicolas leaned back in his chair and put his feet up. '&he news will be forgotten as soon as the papers thrown away. Nobody gives a shit about some starving painter from Jiev stoned out of his mind on opium. (nd,) he added, smirking at (strid, '"ll feed on anyone " damn well please, drunks and opium addicts included. (t least it hasnt affected my work, which is more than " can say for you. 3r have you forgotten that you kept botching your notes for a week after you killed that poet who was so fond of absinthe%) &here was a general snickering. 2leni couldnt let the others suspect that she

had sat outside, completely uncertain whether she was waiting for the dawn to take her or simply too tired to get up #ust yet, but she risked meeting his eyes briefly. &hat fleeting glance was an entire conversation, as he dismissed her ama.ement and protest with his devil may care grin, its nothing. (rmand looked up from the paper and calmly, almost affably, said to Nicolas, 'You are not leaving the theater alone anymore.) 2veryone fell silent, and Nicolas gasped, '/hat%) '/e cant accept any more risks to our security.) He turned to the others. '" leave it to you to decide who takes him out to hunt and when, but he is not to leave the theater unaccompanied.) (nd then he was gone before Nicolas could say another word. 111 "n the following weeks, 2leni numbly allowed one of the newest fledglings, ,olange, to seduce her. "f shed been thinking, she might have noticed the relief of wallowing in violent, blood drenched intimacy, of not having to hide9 she might have suspected that ,olange was as greedy for her old, powerful blood as for her body9 but the whole point of it all was to find a way of not thinking. ,he permitted it all in complete indifference. 3thers, though, took notice. 3ne night after shed ended it, as she walked through the subterranean passages, a group of them stopped her. '/hat were you thinking%) ,ebastien hissed. '" was thinking of rounding up a few dancers to try out some choreography,) she said drily, and began to push through them. &hey stopped her again, edging around, surrounding her, with a clamor of scandali.ed, accusing voices. '6iving old blood to such a young one! "ts simply not done!) ,he raised an eyebrow. 'Bealous%) 'New fledglings are not allowed such powerful blood! "t is forbidden!) 4inally, she lost her composure and broke down laughing. '4orbidden% +y whom%) 0icking out 4elix and 2ugenies faces in the crowd, she asked, 'Have you been feeding them all the old :hildren of 5arkness claptrap, or are they #ust such precocious little geniuses that they invented it all by themselves% @ight along with all this,) she added, gesturing disgustedly at the +osch mural beginning to take shape along the cold, damp walls, a tableau that would have been perfectly at home under $es "nnocents, had they not considered painting a worldly luxury as hateful as combing their hair and handling coins. 'Now,) she said coldly, narrowing her eyes. '6et out of my way, or " will destroy you.)

'(rmand would never let you,) 4rancoise said, and they all looked to him hopefully. ,he hadnt noticed him #oining the throng, but he and Nicolas must have found the spectacle more diverting than the argument theyd been hammering away at in his study- there they stood, watching. (rmand said nothing and simply ga.ed back at them. ,ome of them *uailed, others fired with indignation- surely not;% +ut seeing his face, they frowned and slunk off. 4rom Nicolas suppressed smile and the liveliness in his eyes, 2leni knew that he had an idea for their next play, and followed him upstairs to ask him what it was about. 111 He didnt show this one to (rmand first, merely passed copies around when they were all gathered in the theater to begin work on the production. &hey read in silence- a man lives in a filthy, s*ualid prison C they would build a tiny cage C and then is finally freed9 the whole world is open to him, the stage is crowded with brilliantly dressed people in a whirl of activity9 but he settles in a small house, gradually builds prison walls around himself again, and persuades his new friends to get themselves up in black and play the role of his #ailers. +ut when he tires of the game, its too late9 intoxicated with their power, they want to remain wardens forever and refuse to unlock the cage. ( general outcry broke out as they finished reading. 4elix spoke over the din of infuriated voices- '$enfent, you hypocrite! 2verything weve built here, its your vision, all of it. " was there when you founded the theater, and " remember every word you said. /heres your Amagnificent evil now% ( theater to Aserve the forces of the devil more splendidly than he was ever served by the old coven% 2ven that ridiculous stunt you pulled at that private ball ) his face twisted in disdain ' that almost cost us our safety here, what was that but another little pageant of Aserving the god of the dark wood in the very center of civili.ation%) Nicolas laughed long and bitterly. '7y vision% /hen " was a swaggering little boy with all the vast wisdom of a few days as a vampire and that after you bled me dry again and again under that stinking cemetery maybe. /heres your vision% (re you ) he cast his glance over the entire troupe ' so dumb that you cant see "ve outgrown it% 6ood and evil, Amagnificent evil, fuck good and evil! &heres only C you idiot, dont you see, even that Astunt, as you call it C its;) &oo furious and exasperated to find the words, he flung at them a searing imprint of what he really meant. He probably couldnt have done it deliberately, but it happened without thinking- a shout right next to their ears, each and every one of them, a deafening sense that suffering was eternally possible and happiness was eternally difficult, that everything, with the possible exception of pain, was as fragile and temporary as mortal life, that even on the polished dance floor under crystal chandeliers the ground could disappear from under your feet at any moment.

'A7agnificent evil,) he sneered. '"t took me a few months to outgrow that crap. (nd you, youre still hanging on to it nine years later. (ll a misunderstanding, you brainless sheep.) (rmand had had hung back, observing. /hen he spoke, all the others fell silent. :asually, even amiably, he suggested, '"f the theater doesnt suit you anymore, you could always go back to $estat.) 2yes widened, and the others held their breath- all of them, even the ones who en#oyed provoking Nicki, knew better than even to allude to $estat. '5ont you dare think about it,) Nicki growled. '/hy not%) (rmand asked. ':learly youre not happy here.) '5ont you know what he did to me%) 'Yes. He gave the 5ark 6ift to someone too weak for it.) '3h, you think all this is my fault% Hes the one who did this to me!) Nicki roared. 'He didnt #ust turn me, he drained everything good out of me and gave me only his darkness in return. 3h, " know how besotted you were with him, begging him to take you with him, him and his glorious light! "f only you could have seen him back in the (uvergne, crying and snot nosed and blubbering about his mortality like a child whos lost his blanket. A3h, Nicki, everyone is going to die, carry me home, " am too too sad to walk.) <oice shaking, he continued, '(nd thats what he gave me, he stole away everything good and then forced me to take all that, all the He poisoned me! 2verything ) he gestured vaguely, how on earth to encompass it all, the crippling visions and noise and misery% ' its all from him, he did this to me!) '+ut you,) he continued, lowering his voice and stepping closer to (rmand, 'youve done all this to yourself. (ll the rules and pomp and grotes*ue pictures downstairs you dont believe in it any more than " do. Youre #ust too la.y to change it.) $anguidly tearing up the manuscript, (rmand said, '(nd youre too la.y to do anything but whine about your suffering like a child whos lost his blanket. Now, since we have nothing to perform, please have another play written by tomorrow at the latest.) (t a look from him, the crowd dispersed, and Nicolas remained, standing in the orchestra pit, staring down at the scraps of the manuscript on the floor. 2leni still sat in her front row seat, where she had coolly watched the whole thing. (s the crowd dispersed, she asked Nicolas, '(re you hungry% "m hungry.) He barely acknowledged her, but he let her lead him to the door. (fter they had both fed well, 2leni said to him, 'You know, Niko, youre all mixed

up. "t doesnt work that way.) '/hat doesnt work what way%) '(ll those things you said about him poisoning you. "ts not like that.) '+ut its true! " know its true!) ,he shook her head. '"ve watched vampires being made for ) ' a hundred and fifty years,) he parroted, rolling his eyes. ,he smiled and punched his shoulder. ' and let me tell you, its #ust blood. &hats all. (nd it doesnt change you any more than age changes you- it only makes you more of what you are.) He didnt respond, but she knew that he didnt believe a word of it. ,he sighed, knowing him well enough to see that nothing she could say would make any difference. K (rmand never wavered in forbidding Nicolas to leave the theater alone. ,ometimes $aurent or 2ugenie would accompany him, sometimes ,olange or one of the others who looked up to him with timid awe. +ut he was becoming ever more difficult. He would stop, stock still, in the middle of a busy sidewalk, and it took persuasion, guile, or brute force to make him keep moving. ,ometimes he refused to speak, or if he did, what seemed like normal conversation would drift off its tracks as he answered *uestions no one had asked. (nd so, exhausted, more and more often they turned him over to 2leni. (t least he listened to her as much as he listened to anyone, anyway and she was the one who actually en#oyed his company and had any measure of patience with him. 2ven so, sometimes he exasperated her. He could never stand feeding on rats and stray dogs for more than a night or two, yet still, the onslaught of his victims mind and even the intense pleasure of the blood itself were too much for him sometimes, and he panicked. (ll these years, all the times shed tried to teach him to tune it out or to send his victim into a dreamless sleep, and he still couldnt reliably do it! ,ometimes spiteful frustration got the better of her and she would snap, 'Youre not even trying!) >pon which he always returned to the same tirade- its not my fault, he did this to me, he stole from me and then poisoned me with his blood. /hich only irritated her more, since he would never listen to reason, and they would walk back to the theater in sullen silence, each furious at the others pig headed refusal to see the obvious.

&heir fights never lasted very long, though, and for the most part, they were content to hunt and wander the city together, away from the theater. '&he snake pit,) Nicolas called it. '+ecause you cant even tell whos who,) 2leni laughed. Nicolas added, '(nd you cant tell heads from asses.) +ut still, the absolute lack of privacy chafed at him constantly, until one night he stopped and looked at her. '"snt this absurd%) he asked. 'Not allowing me to take a single step on my own% "m not a child.) 2leni looked back, contemplating, and finally agreed, 'No. Youre not.) &hen she sighed. '(nd this is all my fault anyway. "f " hadnt made such a mess that night...) ,he thought about it a moment longer and then said firmly, '(lright. /e hunt together, because you are hopeless and you?d probably go to the >niversity and give a public demonstration of our *uaint dining customs in front of a podium if " didnt keep an eye on you. +ut then youre on your own, provided you dont do anything stupid. (nd we meet up later and return to the theater together.) (t the 'hopeless) comment, he grumbled something under his breath about prissy nannies rapping little boys knuckles if they let a single crumb touch the tablecloth, but he was so grateful that he swept her up and kissed her cheek. "t was blissful, simply moving unwatched, unmarked, and when the din in his head overwhelmed him, he found the din in the packed coffeehouses soothing. "t was another world, completely separate from the theater, and though of course it had nothing to do with him, the mounting talk of revolution fascinated him. (theists clamored against the stranglehold of the clergy, at bishops selling their offices to move to <ersailles9 merchants whose staggering wealth could buy everything but power hatched convoluted plots for gaining a foothold in 0arliament9 some wanted to tear down the nobility precisely because they adored the nobility9 and then there were the lofty dreamers crying for the triumph of the rights of man over tyranny and oppression. Nicolas loved the confusion of it all, hearts pulled so many ways at once, voices stacked on voices. ,itting next to the same family a textile trader, his two sons, and his daughter 7arie (nne several nights in a row, he found himself drawn into the conversation, listening, tossing out a remark here and there. 4or all the mans narrow minded concerns about votes and taxes, he had to give him credit for accomodating his daughters revolutionary idealism- she couldnt have been more than seventeen, and here she was, out late in a smoky room packed almost exclusively with men, conversing with them as an e*ual. (nd they indulged her, some of them simply charmed by her red gold hair and clear eyes, some of them nostalgic for the fire of adolescence as she held forth on freedom and e*uality and the triumph of reason over all the old superstitious, arbitrary hierachies. Nicolas was only half aware of the plan forming in his mind, but he did nothing to discourage her growing infatuation with him, and though he spoke to the general company about liberty and reason, he caught her eye with a little smile9

and perhaps he had not had a lover since he was mortal he had forgotten how seductive a glance could be. /hen he *uietly invited her to go for a walk with him, she went eagerly, ama.ed and delighted that the others seemed not to notice as they made their way to the door. &he warm spring evening was intoxicating, and oh, the thrill of slipping out with this miraculous young man with lush curls and intense dark eyes who truly noticed her as nobody ever had before! He spoke to her in a low voice about metamorphosis, about being able to give her a new life of undreamt of power and freedom, and though the idea leapt immediately to mind, she hardly dared to believe it- could he really be hinting at an engagement after a few days ac*uaintance% &hen he veered off into dark, shabby streets and led her to an abandoned tenement, and she balked. "t could only mean one thing, and oh, what a fool shed been. (s she stammered out a refusal, he caught from her mind her notion about his supposed intentions, and he was genuinely surprised. 'No, no, not that,) he laughed. '5ont you see%) (nd as dim, confused, and irresistibly persuasive visions of revolution stole over her, he easily broke the rusting lock of a back door, and she let him lead her inside. 'Now,) he said casually, as if explaining, and sank his teeth into her throat. ,he cried out and struggled in his arms, sobbing 'No,) over and over until she began to black out. (nd then she felt his wrist brush her face, and something warm spilled over her lips and chin, the most delicious thing shed ever smelled, and in the dark, too sleepy to care what it was, she opened her mouth and drank. 7emories of $es "nnocents exploded in his mind as she pulled and pulled on the wound hed made for her, oh 6od, he hadnt expected this, he could almost smell the rot and damp earth, could almost feel all those sharp cold mouths locked to him hapha.ardly wherever the blood ran close to the surface, throat, wrists, thigh, crook of his elbow. &hat terrifying, demanding constriction! (s he silently argued himself through it, forcing himself not to pull away, for the first time he allowed himself to consciously reali.e the plan that he had not fully acknowledged to himself. "t was the sort of idea one both believed in absolutely and at the same time did not dare to examine, like tepid half believers refusing even to attempt to s*uare their paraly.ing terror of death with their faith in Heaven. +ut now, as he fought down pain and fear, it became perfectly clear in his mind- this was the alchemy that would reverse everything $estat had done to him. Her clarity would heal him as he drained her, and when she took the blood back from him, all the hell would be bled away, washed clean. (nd somehow Dhe hadnt *uite worked this out, but it must be trueE she had the temperament to absorb it all unharmed, why not% He let her drink until the pain was unbearable, and then pulled away. 3nce she stopped drinking, she no longer seemed to notice him. ,he slowly paced around the room, touching the rotting wood of the door frame, breaking

off bits of plaster and crumbling them between her fingers. /hen she suddenly doubled over, Nicolas cursed himself for his lack of foresight, and said sharply, 'Your body is dying. 6o take care of it, and try to keep clean " completely forgot about a change of clothes for you.) ,he didnt understand half of what he meant, but rushed out of the room. /hen she came back, shaken but calm, she stared at him. '/hat do you mean, my body is dying% (nd why am " so thirsty%) He was too exhausted to explain, and #ust said, '$et me show you.) 2arlier, hed noted the small sounds of a vagrant furtively making his way into the front rooms to seek shelter for the night, and silently willed the man to wander back to them. /hen he found them, he stuttered and gawked at the sight of a beautiful, smartly dressed boy and girl in such a wreck. Nicolas sei.ed him immediately. 7arie (nne was disgusted, but her thirst was stronger, and as Nicolas offered the mans wrist to her, before she knew it, she followed his example, bit down, and drank. /hen they finished, she stood staring down at the corpse, and said was it with reproach or wonder% 'You never told me.) He shrugged and straightened his #acket. '" told you everything, didnt "%) ,he frowned and started to speak, but he continued, 'You see what "ve given you% Havent you always dreamed of such power and freedom% 2very night you talk about your visions of the downtrodden finding their strength and rising up to con*uer their oppressors.) 'Not like this,) she protested, but without conviction9 even as she spoke, she forgot what she was saying, mesmeri.ed by the play of light on the broken windows and the way even the slightest current in the air eddied over her skin like water. He understood, of course. 'Now. "f youre so in love with all this, wouldnt you like to see the city%) (s they made their way out of the slum, she walked slowly by his side, speechless, watching, awed, and the words 'power) and 'freedom) slowly threaded down deeper and deeper into her mind. (nd Nicolas was so lost in thought, wondering what on earth hed do with her in his obsession with turning her, he simply hadnt thought that far ahead that he didnt notice when she stopped in front of the 3pera as the opulent crowds spilled out toward their carriages, and by the time he saw her sinking her fangs into the neck of a <icomte, with all her revolutionary hatred of the nobility and all the desperate thirst of a new fledgling, it was too late. 2ven he wouldnt have done something so rash. +ut as he *uickly racked his brain, trying to figure out some way to cover it up, (rmand calmly and

authoritatively made his way through the crowd. (nd, persuaded as much by his impeccable coat and stockings as by the illusions he pressed on them, they began to believe in the <icomtes 'apoplectic fit) and the 'miraculous good fortune that this simple girl happened to catch the man as he fell.) +efore long they were cooing over her, praising her *uick wits '/hy, he could have cracked his head on the pavement!) (rmand helped to lay the man down gently, and summoned 'my good friend, the surgeon,) to examine him. (nd (rnaud, with all the gravitas of the middle age hed been taken in, knelt down, and under the guise of checking the <icomtes pulse, healed the wounds with surreptitiously cut fingertips. (s they were making arrangements for one of the footmen to send for the <icomtes personal physician, 2leni finally caught up with Nicolas shed been looking for him for over an hour and as she took in the entire scene, horrified, she immediately guessed everything. (nd nothing could have been as frightening as (rmands unearthly calm as he gestured for Nicolas and his fledgling to step into the carriage, as he caught 2lenis eye. 111 +efore sunrise, when all the others had gone underground and Nicolas and 2leni returned to their small wooden rooms, she hissed at him, '/hat have you done%) He looked at her blankly. '"m sure it will be fine. &heres room for her here, theyll take her in. 3r she could live on her own if she wants...) 'You fucking idiot! 5o you really think (rmand is going to tolerate this%) He shrugged vaguely, not meeting her eye. '(nd that poor girl! ,he doesnt have the faintest idea whats happened to her or what shes stumbled into. ,he still thinks that shell be able to go home to papa and everything will be fine. 6od, if you had to do this, why did you pick her%) '"ts not my fault!) he protested. ',he started it, she wanted me.) 2leni slapped him across the face, hard enough to stun him. '5ont you dare blame her! " spoke to her downstairs, and even if " hadnt, " could see it all in her mind clearly enough- she was smitten with the dashing, attentive young gentleman, and you strung her along. You used her every step of the way, and you tore a naive little dreamer from her family without even giving her the faintest clue what you were going to do to her.) '+ut " did, " told her, she wanted ) '+ullshit!) '3h, come off it! Youve been killing every night for a hundred and fifty years,

and now youre the angel of compassion%) 2lenis face contorted with rage, but Nicolas had already locked his door behind him, and even in the windowless dark, she could feel the sunrise coming, and had no choice but to sleep. 8 &he next night, 7arie (nne asked the two women who had taken her under their wing, '/hen can " go home% " mean, this is wonderful, but...) 2stelle and :eleste shared a look, and 2stelle said, '3h, my dear, all in good time. &heres so much for you to learn!) :eleste said, '/e really must show you how to hunt more carefully.) 7arie (nne would have protested that shed done nothing wrong, that it was all for a glorious cause, but they were so glamorous, so sophisticated, what if theyd only think her an obstinate, backward child% :eleste smiled confidentially and put an arm around her shoulders. 'Not that " blame you in the slightest. How could you have known% 3f course he didnt teach you any table manners.) 2stelle looked heavenward and sighed, '7en!) ,he and :eleste broke into silvery laughter, and 7arie (nne #oined in, already unconcsciously imitating 2stelles smile and the particular way :eleste tilted her head. 3ne of you, she thought, feeling the new sharp teeth in her mouth. ,isters together, she prayed silently. 111 (s soon as Nicolas left his room, the others surrounded him, shouting over each other, but all the voices essentially amounted to one *uestion- /hat the hell were you thinking% He tried and failed to push through them, then yelled back, '" was #ust undoing what he did to me!) Henri rolled his eyes. '3h 6od, dont tell me you actually believe all that garbage you keep ranting about% AHe poisoned me, he poisoned me!) &hey laughed, and Henri pressed closer. '(nd even if we accept that choice bit of lunacy, tell me- how, precisely, does throwing away the 5ark 6ift on a clumsy teenager with nothing in her head but cra.y dreams of revolution Aundo anything%) '3r did you choose her because shes as cra.y as you%) (strid sneered. &omas., struck by an idea, was about to speak, but slipped away instead. "ncredulous, Nicolas protested, '(re you blind% +ecause she was the one who could reverse it!)

'/ell, at least that worked,) Bustine said sarcastically. &hey broke out laughing again, but this time, Nicolas barely heard it- he stood, fro.en, speechless, as he reali.ed that absolutely nothing had changed. &he vertigo, the noise, the abyss, the suffering, all of it remained, untouched as a still life. &omas. returned and smugly passed around the newspaper hed been looking for, a standard revolutionary rag, open to an illustration of a goddess with a cockerel and a 0hrygian cap, accompanied by a clumsily rhymed ode to 'la $iberte, la @aison.) Nicolas had no conscious memory of ever seeing it Dthough such pictures were cropping up more and more latelyE, but even he could not deny an obvious resemblance with 7arie (nnes straight, classical features, the set of her brow and chin. ,ebastien all but howled with laughter. '@eally, $enfent, could you possibly get any more crude%) 3nly 2leni and (rmand were silent. ( memory kept nagging at her, she couldnt *uite place it, she was still so furious at him, but then it came to her. Nine years ago, under $es "nnocents, when shed been the first to tear Nicolas throat open, in the blood, she had seen herself through his eyes- under the filth and cant and monstrosity, a human being, a mind like his own9 and as the delusion collapsed and the corridor of suffering without end opened before him and the noise inside and outside his head was even louder than the circle of vampires penning him in, through it all, he looked out with stubbornly intelligent eyes. (rmand took the newspaper and scanned it *uickly. (s soon as he spoke, everyone fell silent. :asually, offhand, he said, '/hy dont you take a rest, Nicolas% "ll write the next play.) L &he audience laughed at the marionettes of bishops and noblemen. $ines of black greasepaint drew wrinkles on their smooth, white faces9 heavy padding strained the seams of their costumes9 and was there any limit to the puppeteers cunning% their #erky movements as they leaned on their sticks were a perfect replica of arthritis and gout. +ut when la $iberte, la @aison strode onto the stage, a collective sigh rushed through the hall. ( real, living girl amid the marionettes! Her arms and throat were bare, as supple as the folds of her classical gown, and her red gold hair was gathered up under a 0hrygian cap. 4or all her youth and vitality, though, she was no match for the old men around her- they were too many, and despite their awkward stiffness, it wasnt long before they captured her. 3nce they immobili.ed her, they produced long golden cords identical to those that moved their own wooden limbs and began binding her. &he curtain fell. /hen it rose again, the cords were suspended from above, #ust like theirs, and they marched her to the center of the stage, where a tower

stood, draped in a long red cloth. 3ne of the aristocrats pulled the cloth off with a grand flourish, and the audience gasped. ( few who had traveled in 7unich or +erlin recogni.ed it, what was it they called it there, the 4allbeil% +ut even to those who had never seen it, the tall wooden scaffold C almost as high as the proscenium! C and the stays, the basket, the rope and the heavy blade could mean only one thing. ( duke took hold of the rope, and the nobles and clergy dragged $iberte in her golden cords to the bench and forced her down, opening the uprights before closing them down over her neck again. 4or the benefit of the audience, 7arie (nne struggled as if terrified. ,hed never acted before Dat least not since reenacting folktales with her playmates as a childE, and tried diligently to pretend that she didnt know that (rmand and two others were waiting in the rafters above, ready to leap down and rescue her before the blade fell, #ust as theyd rehearsed over and over. 4ar too suddenly for her to be disillusioned, the duke released the rope and the blade flew down. &hroughout the audience, women and men screamed as her head toppled into the basket. &he marionettes hobbled over to the basket to lift up her head as a trophy, but they were too slow- a trio of angels leapt down lightly from the rafters, blue silk robes floating around them like something in a painting. &he two women looked vaguely familiar, but that lovely auburn haired boy Dor was it a girl%E had never appeared on the stage before. &he three of them easily drove off the aristocrats. (nd then, while the women propped up $ibertes body, the curly haired boy lifted her head and gently placed it on her neck. &hey held her motionless, no one knew how long, it felt like eternity, and the audience was perfectly silent, holding their breath, not rustling their programmes or crossing their legs or even shifting their weight in the old, creaky seats. (nd then she stirred. ,lowly, she drew herself up and stood on her own feet again. (s if in a trance, she turned to kiss her divine rescuers, and tossed her cap gracefully toward the first rows. &he audience went wild. 2veryone leapt to from their seats, cheering, shouting, whistling, stamping their feet. &he man in the third row who had caught the 0hrygian cap was hoisted up on others shoulders like a hero. &he din drowned out the final triumphant swell from the orchestra. "n the orchestra pit, Nicolas stood with the violin and bow hanging slackly at his sides9 no matter, the other musicians carried on seamlessly without him. /hen the action on stage departed so terribly from the script they had all rehearsed, when he watched 7arie (nnes head toppling into the basket, he stopped playing and watched in horror, dumbstruck. 4ury mounted in him as he noticed that none of his fellow musicians was in the least surprised- clearly, everyone was privy to the real script except for himself and 7arie (nne. He should have

been relieved to see her flesh knitting together, to see expression return to her face, but even that miracle was vaguely nauseating, and he frantically tried to calculate whether (rmand had finished meting out punishments, or if he had only started. 4or weeks afterward, salons and coffeehouses and taverns were abla.e with talk of the latest spectacle at the &heater of the <ampires- they had invented a new, fiendishly sophisticated kind of marionette so lifelike that the only proof that it was not a human being was the fact that it 'lived) and moved flawlessly again after the beheading! (ll the wild speculation and awe momentarily eclipsed curiosity about the strange machine with the scaffold and the blade. 3nly a few short years later, though, in the grip of the &error, as that machine took a prominent place in public s*uares, those who had been in the audience that night thought back to the &heater of the <ampires. &here were furtive, heated debates- was the &heater prophetic Dafter all, it wouldnt be the first timeE or had it been mere coincidence% 3ne man even theori.ed about sinister conspiracies between the &heater and the government, but no one took him seriously. &he public flocked to see one execution after another, men and women alike, even mothers with young children, taking care to check the slope of the pavement so that the puddles and rivulets of blood wouldnt stain their shoes. (fter all the marionettes took their last bows, the audience finally, reluctantly left the theater9 the mortal ushers broke up brawls, or at least tried to delay them until everyone was out on the pavement, and then grumbled as they cleaned up shredded programmes and more forgotten hats and gloves than usual. /hen the theater was empty, when the mortal staff was dismissed, moods brightened by a little bonus, when the troupe had all washed off their greasepaint and changed back into their ordinary clothes, they filed back to the stage. &hey had to lead 7arie (nne, who was still wide eyed and trembling, and Nicolas followed, cursing in outrage. &he two of them were forced into the center of a circle of vampires. (rmand stepped forward and addressed Nicolas first, his voice placid and conversational. 'You have trampled the rules underfoot for the last time. No one is to make another vampire without my consent. (nd above all, no one is to endanger our security. &hat fiasco in front of the opera could have cost us our safety here and driven us straight out of 0aris.) Nicolas laughed bitterly. '(nd beheading her and then bringing her back to life in front of hundreds of mortals is the epitome of discretion%) (rmand shrugged. '&his is theater. &hey saw only a sublime illusion, an imitation of a human being. 2ven now they are talking about our breathtakingly clever new marionettes.) '3h, that makes perfect sense. &hank you so much for clearing that up,) Nicolas sneered. '4ucking hypocrite. You #ust did it to amuse yourself! You wanted to see what would happen, didnt you% 5id you pull the legs off of bugs when you

were a boy%) (s if Nicolas had said nothing, (rmand continued, ',he is a danger to us all. " cant permit this to continue.) He turned to her and said, '7y dear, this is nothing personal. " regret that your maker exercised such poor #udgment, but that does not change the necessities.) &hen he looked to the others and nodded. ,everal of them caught hold of her and led her to the guillotine. ,he started crying and begged them to let her go, shed be careful, please, let me go and "ll never do it again, you cant. /hen she noticed that her tears were red, for a moment in her shock she stopped talking, and they laughed at her naivete so young she doesnt even know that we weep blood! &hey shoved her down onto the bench and trapped her neck in the stays. ,everal others dragged Nicolas to the machine and forced the rope into his hands. 'Now you will undo your mistake,) (rmand said. 'No! (bsolutely not! (re you out of your mind%) Nicolas yelled. 'You will.) 2leni saw the tears starting in Nicolas eyes as he begged, '(rmand. 0lease. "ts not her fault, shes young, she can learn. You can teach her. "ts my fault, its all my fault, kill me instead, " dont care, #ust let her go. Jill me instead.) (rmand looked vaguely interested, as if hed #ust suggested a new theory about a favorite painting. +ut he said, '&his is your chance to give your fledgling a relatively swift and painless death,) and he didnt need to elaborate further9 Nicolas could read in his face what the alternative would be. 2leni caught 7arie (nnes ga.e and used all her powers of persuasion to blanket her with calm and draw out all of her native strength and courage, and silently told her, No pain. Nicolas face contorted, and he closed his eyes and let go of the rope. /hen he opened them, her head and body had already been snatched away. 'Now,) (rmand said, and the four who had forced him to take the rope caught hold of him again. Nicolas yelled and thrashed, hopelessly outnumbered. +ut when they forced him onto the bench, he stopped fighting for a minute in his shock. &hey were forcing his hands, not his head, into the stays. He bit his lip and made a swift decision- he was not going to cry out and he was not going to look away. He stared straight ahead as the blade flew down through his wrists. (nd he kept silent as they carried 7arie (nnes body and head and his own

hands #ust ahead of him as they marched him down the corridors, as they opened the door to the airshaft and set her body against one wall, her head against another, 'so that she can watch her own destruction,) and he refused to let loose a panicked *uestion when the throng around him blocked his view and he couldnt see whether theyd left his hands there as well, and before he knew it, theyd bolted the door, and in silence they rode out of the city to 7agnus old tower. &hey threw him into a cell, three stone walls and a door of heavy iron bars, violin resting neatly in its case on a stone bench. :eleste was about to close and lock the door when (rmand *uietly said, 'No.) &hey all looked at him expectantly. '5rain him.) :elestes mouth curled into a cold smile, but (rmand said, 'Not you,) and turned to 2leni. ,o this, finally, was to be her punishment. ,he fought down a wild impulse to refuse9 as he held her ga.e, she had horrible intimations of the conse*uences that might follow. ,he tried desperately to keep her mind locked as an idea flickered to life- if she went along with it, maybe she could fool them all into thinking she was bleeding him dry, maybe she could take much less than they thought and ease the starvation #ust a little. ,uddenly, Nicolas broke his silence and snarled at (rmand, '/hy dont you do it yourself% You?ve wanted to for years. 3r are you afraid of what " can make you see%) ( few of them couldnt hide their little gasps of shock, and many eyes darted fearfully toward (rmand. His face never lost its angelic composure. He kept looking at 2leni and repeated, '5rain him.) &hey made way for her as she walked forward, trembling, burning with shame. "t was like incest, and worse, the blood would inevitably be a pleasure, it could never be otherwise, no matter how appalling the forced intimacy. (nd if (rmand was afraid of the visions hed see, well, she was no better, and she hated herself for her petty, selfish fear. (s she #oined Nicolas on the stone bench, she caught his eye and silently begged, 4orgive me. ,he closed her eyes and moved to his throat, using all her skill as an actress to make a gentle bite look vicious, to give the appearance of pulling hard when she was really only accepting whatever his racing heart pumped to the open wound, and to hide her shock at the visions that flooded her mind. &here was a vast ocean stretching to every blank hori.on, and a solitary bird flew high above, almost unable to breathe in the rarefied upper air, and then it

plummeted, faster and more di..ying than the drop of the blade of the guillotine, and pulled up #ust short of hitting the water, skimming the waves swiftly, wingtips almost dipping into the water, risking everything- if an unexpected swell reared up, it would drench the birds feathers, and, waterlogged, it would sink9 and a young man rode bareback over snowy slopes in the shortest days of winter, the snow turning rose in the light and blue in the shadows, and for a moment the bare branches were golden in the dying sunlight, and warmth bled out of the world into an antiseptic sky9 and wine and firelight and late night conversations, 0aris for the first time, boys both straining and refusing to become men, philosophy and crass #okes and grandiose plans9 and a boy climbed to di..ying heights in a vast oak tree, she could feel the rough bark under bare, callused feet, the midsummer sun was blinding, but the heart of the tree was a cool cave, coins of light tinkling down the somber dark leaves, the bree.e making a sound like water rushing over stones, and he stood, precariously balanced, on a high branch, cupping a nest in his hands, twigs and grasses whipped into an elegant circle, speckled eggs inside hardly bigger than your thumbnail, and he offered it up without touching it, without disturbing a single twig :old hands pulled her away9 someone sneered, '5o it like you mean it.) /ith a nod from (rmand, :eleste stepped forward and lunged at Nicolas throat, and drank until he was haggard and shaking and forests of needles branched through his entire body. ,he drew one last mouthful, stepped back, and spat it out on the flagstones. 3nly a couple of them laughed as Nicolas flung himself to the ground and desperately tried to lick up the stain. &he door clanged shut and the torches disappeared down the corridor. 1M (fter killing her second victim, 2leni felt almost ill, but she took a third, forcing herself to keep swallowing even when it seemed impossible to take another drop. ,he grimaced, then steadied herself. &he man had had the misfortune of having a fast horse- 2leni mounted, light in her boyish #acket and breeches, and tore out of 0aris. &he villa (rmand had built at the foot of the tower was dark and silent. 2leni *uickly slipped into the tower, lit a candle, and started down the winding stairs. ,he found Nicolas lying inert on his side, wrists near his mouth, though the blood had long since stopped flowing. His bones stood out sharply through white, dead skin. ,he hadnt seen such starvation since the days of cruel punishments under $es "nnocents. (t first, he didnt even notice her, but when he did, he cried out and flattened himself against the wall. (fter three days and nights in the dark, even a single candle was blinding. 2leni caught a loud image from his mind of $es "nnocents,

the torches and the stench, Nicolas recoiling in horror at her, a monster looking up at him with frank curiosity, pinning him motionless with slender hands. 'Nicolas%) she called out softly, and still he crouched against the wall trembling. 'Niko%) (nd slowly, his vision seemed to clear. ,he knelt by the bars of the cell. 'Your hands are safe. &hey only pretended to leave them for the sun. Niko, there isnt much time;) ,uddenly awkward, she couldnt find the words, but the air was swimming with the scent of her victims, and even before she slipped her bared wrist through the bars, he knew what she meant. 4or a moment he panicked as he reached out to grab her arm and had nothing to grab with, but the thirst was stronger, and he bit down so desperately that his teeth struck bone. (s the warm blood coursed down his parched throat, he silently rained down benedictions, oh, incomparable, ma soeur9 and when she felt an icy tide dragging through her limbs, she hid the pain, and stopped him only when she felt that her heart would collapse like a wave under its own weight. He still looked gaunt, but not starved, and though he was too da.ed with the blood to speak, he was clearer and calmer. (fter 2leni caught her breath, she told him, '/ere trying to convince him to let you out. /e all want you to come home. 2ven the newest ones ) she made a face, ' well, you know them. No sin worse than boredom! &hey want new plays. /ith all of us against him, he cant hold out that much longer.) ,he was still too lightheaded to stand, and leaned against the bars. Bust a minute, shed #ust close her eyes for a minute, she dimly heard him thanking her, #ust a few minutes rest and then shed go... '2leni.) His voice shook her awake. He caught her eyes, worried. 'Hurry. +efore he notices youre gone.) ,he nodded. /illing herself not to black out, she slowly pulled herself up and started up the stairs. 111 Nicolas started when he heard they key turn in the iron lock. He hadnt heard footsteps. (rmand let himself in, took out a small bundle of blue silk, and *uietly ordered him to sit up. He looked up dully, his eyes dark and sunken. ',it up,) (rmand repeated, and when he saw that Nicolas was too weak even to try, he put an arm under his chest and hoisted him up himself, then laid his arms out along the stone bench. Nicolas was too far gone to notice (rmands slight tremor as he unfolded the cloth, and in any case, the sight drove everything else from his mind- what a relief, what a horror, his hands lying there, his own hands, safe, severed, and lifeless. (rmand brought Nicolas hands to his wrists and held them in place, and tendons and muscles and bones began, slowly, to knit back together. Nicolas

gasped at the burning pain as myriad nerves infallibly found each other. (rmand pulled a pocketknife from his coat and made a swift, precise cut in his own wrist. '&o help it heal faster,) he explained, eyes downcast. +ut as the blood welled up, ready to trickle down over the still half severed flesh, something slammed him up against the wall. Nicolas hadnt moved, and appeared not to have noticed the invisible blow that struck (rmand away, but as soon as the scent of blood had flooded the air, he had almost lunged for (rmands wrist, the thirst was a torment, nothing in the world had ever looked as beautiful as that seam of red, he would almost have begged for it, he could see himself drinking deep at (rmands wrist before moving up to his throat, (rmand holding him, cradling his head... (nd in a flash of intuitive certainty, he knew not only that (rmand would not have refused him, but that the entire performance was calculated. (nd the way (rmand looked up at him, vulnerable and stricken, confirmed it. (t another time, Nicki would have unleashed a stream of invective you really think, after all this...% +ut as it was, it took all his energy #ust to sit upright instead of collapsing back to the floor again, and he only closed his eyes and breathed, 'Not then, and not now.) 111 4or over a week, Nicolas spent hours writing at his desk. He ventured out only with 2leni and spoke to no one but her. 4inally, he made his way down through the labyrinth of corridors underground to (rmands study. He entered without knocking, dropped a stack of fresh manuscripts on the desk, and said, '"m leaving.) (ghast, (rmand said, 'You cant.) '" can, and " will. &heres nothing you can do to stop me.) 'How do " know that you wont burn down the theater or reveal all of us to mortals as soon as youre gone%) '" could do that now anyway. (nd thats exactly what " will do if you even think of stopping me. Now. Here are enough plays for the next few months. (nd dont worry, youll manage #ust fine after that. (fter all, youre the one who was so eager to write for the stage. (nd the audience loved every minute. " have no doubt youll be a success,) he said, disgusted. '(nyway,) he continued, '" have one more thing to finish, and then as soon as our next night off, " want a proper sendoff. Youre so fond of reviving all the old ways ) he glanced at the grotes*ue paintings ' indulge me. &ake the whole coven oh, shut up, it is a coven all over again, and you know it out to the countryside and show me one of your grand old sabbats. &hough really, it would

be much more interesting to do it right here on the boulevard...) He laughed. '(nd 2leni will write to $estat and tell him that " made it my funeral pyre. ,hes even going to send the ,tradivarius back to him. " wanted to burn it, but she had a better idea- hed never think that "d part with such a precious possession voluntarily, so when he sees it, hell know that "m dead,) he added with a bitter smile. '(nd where will you go%) (rmand asked. Nicki shrugged. '" dont know. 7aybe Bapan...) (rmand raised an eyebrow. 'Bapan% &hats impossible, no foreigner can get into Bapan.) Nickis mouth curled a little at the word 'impossible.) '3r maybe "ll go south. &heres so much to see " could travel in "taly 4lorence, <enice, 6enoa...) (rmand sighed, reali.ing that he had no choice, but then an idea struck him. '<ery well. Youre right, " cant stop you. +ut after you leave, if any harm comes to us, " will tell $estat and if " have to track him down to tell him in person, " will that your supposed death was a fiction. He was content to leave you here in the beginning, when you were an inconvenience to him, but as soon as something goes wrong as soon as 6abrielle disappoints him, as soon as he makes yet another fledgling who disappoints him, as soon as the loneliness catches up with him he will come looking for you. (nd you of all people know how stubborn he is. He wont stop until he finds you, and when he does, he will never let you go. ) Nicki bit his lip, and after a long pause, finally said, '(lright.) He hesitated a moment longer, then drew a deep breath. 'Now, if youll excuse me, " have one last performance to give.) (rmand was about to argue, but 2leni had appeared in the doorway, and after they exchanged a long, complicated glance, he nodded and let Nicolas go. 111 '/hat have you done with her%! /hat have you done with my daughter, you bastard%) Nicolas allowed 7arie (nnes father to grab him by the lapels and shake him. ( crowd swarmed around them in the coffeehouse. He forced himself to meet the mans eyes. '"t was all my fault. " tricked her into coming out for a walk alone with me. /e were crossing a bridge, and a thief came at us. He stabbed her for the locket she wore, and she fell in the river. " think she was dead before she hit the water.) Her father collapsed in his chair, sobbing, a horrible sound, as noisy and oblivious as a small child. &he older of her brothers, (ndre, glared at Nicolas. '(nd you did nothing to protect her, university boy% Not that " believe a word of

it. &hat was weeks ago. /eeks! /hat did you do to her%) Nicolas could see in his mind a panorama of lurid, nightmarish guesses, none of which was near as sordid as the truth. '" should kill you right here,) (ndre snarled at him. '+ut ) he glanced at his father, ' lets do it properly. ( duel.) 'How soon%) '(s soon as youre ready to dispatch your soul to hell, you worthless son of a bitch.) 111 Nicolas had loaded his pistol with a blank and aimed wide, but (ndres bullet shattered his rib and tore through his heart before he could even pull the trigger. He heard the thud of his body hitting the earth without feeling it. &he pain was a supernova, hed never imagined such agony, cold and nausea and he couldnt breathe and when he did his chest was on fire, his thoughts werent working right, having his hands cut off was a pleasant memory in comparison, and though he had no doubt that he would survive, he wished it would kill him, anything but this. He was vaguely aware of 2leni Dserving as his second, dressed as a slim boyE exchanging words with 7arie (nnes brothers, and then it was #ust an endless wait on the damp ground for them to inspect his body, be satisfied with his death, and leave the field. He hadnt reali.ed hed lost consciousness until he felt 2lenis arms under him, dragging him up into the carriage. 111 ( couple nights later, when the damage was mostly healed, :eleste caught him alone in a corridor. Her mouth curled coldly and she drawled, '(ll hail the hero, who nobly pretended to die for his sins.) (nd he thought of 7arie (nne looking at him from the bench with pleading, terrified eyes, and of the rope whipping through his hands as he released it, and of the precise noise of the blade thundering down its tracks and severing flesh, and of 7arie (nnes father sobbing, loud as a foghorn, in front of all his friends, and of (ndres visions of all the sickening things he imagined Nicolas doing to his sister, which he would live with forever, because how could Nicolas contradict them% (nd he thought of how the last couple nights it had all rushed down on him, suffocating, the minute he opened his eyes at sunset, and of the frightful certainty that he would wake this way every night for decades% centuries% and of how he had wished, yet again, that the bullet had killed him. '5ying%) he said archly. '&oo easy. $a.y as usual, :eleste. 7y, my, when "m gone, who is going to see to it that you make enough effort to dance even half as well as a poodle drunk on the scullery maids sherry%) 111

3n the last night before the sabbat, Nicolas and 2leni hunted together as usual. /arm with blood and with the drowsy 7ay night, they wandered aimlessly through the city, talking a little or lapsing into comfortable silence. "f Nicolas had any sense of saying farewell to favorite places, it didnt show. '5o you like 0aris%) he asked 2leni. ,he thought for a moment. 'Not really.) &hey walked in comfortable silence for a while longer, and then Nicolas said, '"seult had her baby.) "t was a hatchet to the ribs. 3f course he would have known that9 the affair had never been a secret, and in the blood, she couldnt have hidden it anyway. ,till, though, of all the nerve...! 'Yes, " know,) she said curtly, *uickening her pace. '7aybe its a good thing you didnt have the chance to change her.) '3h, dont tell me that you of all people are going to toss out some cloying platitudes about how everything is Aall for the best ) He laid a hand on her arm and shook his head. '/ould it really have been a good thing to bring her into all this%) (nd desperately as she missed "seult, she tried to picture it, navigating the backbiting and cruelty and vanity of the coven together, and she knew he was right. (s they kept walking, she returned to an idea that had begun forming in her mind, the first thing that had given her any hope in months. 4or the present, shed endure the theater- she had to stay in 0aris to keep track of "seult, and if she left the coven, they would never permit her to stay in the city. ,he would keep adding to the modest little sum she was amassing, selling #ewels stolen from victims, investing carefully9 in chatting with @einald, under the guise of fawning on his expertise as a financier, she had unobtrusively drawn out an invaluable education for herself on such matters. /hen the time was right, she would keep her promise and go back to her and offer herself up, fully prepared for re#ection. "f Dshe hardly dared hope for itE "seult actually wanted her, she would leave the theater and theyd strike out on their own, find some city untroubled by others of their kind, another country, maybe even the New /orld... (nd if "seult refused her, well, then there would be nothing to stay in 0aris for anyway. How well she and Nicolas had always understood each other- it had taken him so few words to suggest those trains of thought, which, she reali.ed, was exactly what hed intended to do. (fter a while, they stopped on the 0ont Neuf and stood side by side, leaning on the stone wall and ga.ing down into the ,eine. ,he could hardly believe that this was the last walk theyd take together. ,o little

time, the nights rapidly growing shorter and shorter as summer approached, almost all the blossoms fallen from the trees and scattered underfoot. ,he wanted to speak, but hesitated9 after all, he hated sentimentality as much as she did. +ut the thought of leaving it unsaid as he disappeared into the world was too much- oblivion waited at every turn, letters got lost, hearsay meandered and died out, and once travelers got separated, they might never find their way back. ,he turned to him and said, 'Youre my only friend.) 2ven after all this time, shed still half feared acerbic remarks, but the lost, young look on his face was almost worse. &o her surprise, he took her hand. (fter a long moment, his face cleared, and he said, as if solving a math problem, '+ut well always be able to find each other,) and it was true. 111 &he bonfire was dying down9 dawn was a couple hours away. &he dancers sat down to rest, and the musicians packed away their instruments. Nicki could hardly believe it, but behind his back theyd written a series of marvelously inventive variations on one of his own compositions, and he couldnt help being moved. He took his leave of each of them individually, even if it was #ust brief word to the ones he hated. /hen he came to (rmand, they ga.ed at each other in silence, then exchanged formal parting kisses on the cheek. $ast, he came to 2leni. &heyd already said everything there was to say9 he simply took her in his arms and pressed a kiss to her forehead. &hen, as he stepped back, he placed his words clearly in her mind- You can leave him too. ,he turned away from the fire and watched as Nicolas slung his violin case across his back, mounted his horse, and struck out alone into the dark. The End. drabble dimanche by ukashi goshi prompts- payment, bounty, bankrupt, mint 7usic through the open doorway of the bar stopped $ouis in his tracks. He found a seat in the back, and saw with a shock that the trio playing in a hastily cleared corner consisted of two mortals led by an immortal violinist with stark white skin like his own9 and even more resonant was his recognition of something in the music that seemed to say, ,uffering is eternally possible and happiness is eternally difficult. &he violinist tossed his dark curls out of his face and looked directly into $ouis eyes with a clear, easy smile, as if they were the only ones in the room, as if they had skipped stones across the water together as boys. "t was the precise opposite of the courtship in reverse that happened whenever other vampires paths crossed, the breakneck flight from suspicion to loathing to frantic clawing against the bankruptcy of losing ones territory if neither had the sense to back down.

He felt a simple invitation- stay. &he violinist passed himself off as a #ust another college student like his bassist and clarinetist C he looked their age C and cheerfully closed his violin case against coins and bills from the crowd, accepting payment only in drinks which he immediately passed to his friends. /hen they finished and the applause died out and the mortal musicians happily downed their sixth or seventh free drink of the night, $ouis made his way to them, and his heart leapt as the violinist immediately embraced him and, not caring how odd the old continental gesture would look, kissed both his cheeks, then held his shoulders and looked in his eyes. Hed felt the chill of $ouis skin, and *uietly asked, '&hirsty%) He hunted with company for the first time since :laudias death9 then, warm and relaxed with the blood, they talked easily about everything and nothing. Neither asked the others name- there was a bounty on $ouis head for the secrets spilled in his book, and he sensed that his violinist was #ust as happy to live only in the moment. 2ven as they talked about the *uirks of the decades theyd lived through, they floated on the feeling of being newly minted, creatures with no past, and nothing in the world was as easy as climbing the stairs to the garret together, hand in hand, and tumbling into rapid kisses as soon as they locked the door. prompts- "talian, film, impure $ouis woke to strong arms around him and a deep voice murmuring sleepily, 'You never told me.) He turned around. 'Never told you what%) ,miling, Nicolas ran his fingers through $ouis hair. 'Youd cut it short last night. &his is much better. You came from a good era, or your maker had the sense to wait for your hair to grow.) $ouis shrugged. '(round the @evolution,) and they both knew which revolution he meant. '(nd you... &hat "talian violin, 6uarneri, 1KGF...%) '+efore " was born. ( bit.) (nd they were content with such light glances over the past, not even caring to know each others names. (nother candle. $ouis looked around- windowless room, and he vaguely remembered an oddly shaped living room beyond the door. ':heap rent,) Nicki chuckled. '0oor landlord tried to glorify it as an Aexciting darkroom opportunity.) $ouis laughed and kissed Nicki, slipping a leg between his thighs. ',ensitive and fussy as film.) '/ere delicate flowers,) Nicolas whispered against his throat. "f they were mortal, theyd be heavily bruised from the previous night, though of course

mortals wouldnt have been able to inflict such bruises in the first place. +ut suddenly, $ouis reali.ed that he hadnt seen Nicki light either of the candles by the bedside, and he fro.e. (nnoyed at his lovers distraction, Nicki asked, '/hat%) '&he candles. How...%) ':ant you%) ':ant " what%) He pinched one out. &hen, a moment of concentration, and it flared to life again. $ouis eyes widened. '"ve known much older vampires, and " never knew anyone could do that.) '+et you could if you wanted.) &hen, divining how $ouis recoiled from the idea, '&heres nothing impure about such abilities. "ts #ust a skill like any other.) 6ently, with no recrimination, he mused, 'You dont test your limits much, do you%) prompts- toes, ma.e, both +ack from hunting, they fell into each others arms again, flushed and laughing. +ut when $ouis dipped down for Nickis throat, a shock ran through him, all the way to his toes, and he flattened himself against the wall, heart pounding. $ouis looked stung. Nicolas drew a shaky breath. '"ts not you. +efore " died...a whole coven took me. (nd after...it was always a punishment.) Hiding his disappointment, $ouis murmured against his cheek, '3f course, if you dont want to...) '+ut " do,) Nicki said, lost and miserable. '"m #ust scared shitless, as they say now.) +ut $ouis looked into his eyes and asked, '5o you trust me%) and he nodded and let him lay him out face down on the bed. $ouis straddled his hips and began kneading his way up his back. Nicolas could smell the thirst in him, the desire, but his hands were infinitely patient, and as those sensitive fingers unraveled ma.es of tension, he could have wept- he had never felt so held. /hen $ouis brushed his curls aside and kissed the nape of his neck, he stiffened, but $ouis murmured, 'No, not yet,) and then those soft lips caressed the side of his neck, the hollow behind his ear, and trailed kisses down his arm, nu..ling his wrist, tasting the skin before kissing his throat again, tongue la.ily

tracing the artery. (rousal got the better of fear, and he moaned. '/as that a no or a yes%) $ouis asked. '+oth,) Nicki whispered. $ouis slid off him so they lay face to face, and Nicolas gasped as he bit down, utterly unprepared for the pleasure of it, like coming home. /hen $ouis paused and looked in his eyes, *uestioning, Nicolas moaned, 'Yes,) pulled him back down, and gave himself over to the ecstasy. prompts- later, warmth, brilliant Nicolas tossing and turning woke $ouis up. &he sun had #ust set, he could hardly open his eyes, but Nicki was wide awake. '" have to get out. /ill you come%) 6roggily, $ouis asked, '/hat...why...%) '$ater.) 111 (s they tore through city streets and eerie suburbs and finally out into farmland on his <elocette, Nicolas gradually relaxed- his lovers solid warmth behind him, silence opening around him. /hen they turned onto dirt roads, he cut the headlight and flashed $ouis a grin. $ouis hadnt seen that daredevil smile in decades. 4rom $estat it was always a taunt glorious monster, cest moi but this was so different, #ust invitation, belonging- of course they didnt need light any more than they needed helmets. /hen they finally stopped between orchards $ouis asked, 'Now are you going to tell me%) Nicolas looked at him. '(ll the noise everyones thoughts, heartbeats sometimes " cant shut it out. Youre lucky you cant hear it. You know what " think%) '/hat%) '&heres something living in our blood.) $ouis frowned, but Nicki continued, '(fter all, youre not the sort of man who loves killing. +ut you do. You hate yourself for it, but you love the kill. ,ee%) Nicki took him in his arms. 'Youre suffering #ust thinking about it, but you love the blood. "ts like possession.) $ouis didnt know if Nicki was brilliant or cra.y, but there were no answers, and it made as much sense as anything.

'+ut at least ) Nicki kissed him ' when were together ) he moved down to $ouis throat ' no death, no shame, no guilt ) he whispered, gra.ing the skin with his teeth ' is it worth it%) He bit down, and as the hot blood flowed into him, he turned his head, offering himself, and before ravaging Nickis throat, $ouis breathed, 'Yes.) prompts- #ewels, garden, radio /hen $ouis met up with Nicolas after practice, the clarinetist had already left, but the bassist looked him up and down. ',o youre the reason hes missed our last two rehearsals. (nd with the radio broadcast next week.) He raised an eyebrow. '&wo% How irresponsible.) ,he lit a cigarette and offered one to $ouis, and when he declined, she smirked, '3ther vices, huh%) Nicki folded his arms. '" dont know what youre talking about, (ngie.) ,he laughed. ':ome on, " saw you two the night he found us at our gig at the +eggars Bewels! +esides, youre wearing each others #eans.) &hey both looked down, flabbergasted. '(nd " thought your kind were supposed to be so fussy about clothes! $ive and learn, " guess...) she said, with an odd little catch in her voice. 111 '(ngie likes you,) $ouis said as they walked down dark streets, past occasional lilacs obstinately thriving in dusty tenement gardens. '5ont remind me.) '"ts alright, nothing to ) Nicki stopped him. 'No. @eally. ,hes my niece. 7y brothers great great ...) $ouis was shocked, but it made perfect sense, her stubborn dark eyes, intricate mouth poised between bitterness and childlike #oy. 'Have you followed your family at all%) Nicki asked. 'No,) he said. Hed considered it9 it would be simple to find them and even watch unnoticed. +ut it was too unnerving- he could bring nothing but contamination to their ordinary mortal lives. $estat would have ridiculed him for such thoughts9 (rmand would offer incomprehension delicately tinged with disdain. 0lease, lets not get started. '"s she the reason youre here%) he asked. '4or now. >ntil shed see that " dont age.) Nicolas sighed. '7aybe youre right to stay away. /ith mortals, its never were only planting cut flowers.) He looked away, but $ouis arm around his waist tightened.

prompts- stretch, covers, dream9 covers, dream, stretch Nicolas grimaced and set down the violin. '"m sorry, " have to stop. "ll play more for you later, promise.) 7assaging and stretching his wrists, he said ruefully, '&hey say we heal from everything. Not true.) /ide eyed, taken aback, $ouis said hesitantly, '"ts not from...%) remembering how last night hed torn Nickis wrists open again and again as Nicki drove into him, blood spilling down his face with each vicious thrust, then even as he drank, Nicki started lapping up those rivulets, following them down his #aw and then burying his face in his throat, straining deeper and deeper into him. Nicki laughed fondly. ',uch a gentleman!) &hen he caught $ouis eye with a slow, heart stopping smile and said, '3h no, not at all, and " expect an encore.) '&hen what happened% /hat is it we cant heal from%) He sighed in mock exasperation. '3nly you could be so intent on *uestions when "m trying to get you under the covers again!) +ut his face turned serious. '5o you really want to know%) '&ell me.) '&hey cut my hands off and gave them back five days later.) '&hat cant be possible!) '3h, its possible. You didnt know that% Hasnt anyone ever told you anything%) '+ut who did that to you%) Nicolas paused, wanting to unburden his heart, but this floating dream they shared was too sweet, free from all those memories, #ust the two of them, here, now. 4inally, he shook his head. '" lived with some weird people for a while.) $ouis laughed, then immediately stifled it. '"m sorry, " shouldnt ) '/hat%) '"ts #ust ,tory of our lives, isnt it% " lived with some weird people for a while%) Nicki broke down laughing too. '3h 6od, that covers #ust about everyone "ve ever known. " think you may have hit on the universal truth of our condition. +ut,) he added, mock pedantic, '&his re*uires further research.) He picked up the phone and dialed a number *uickly, without looking. (fter a few rings, someone picked up. '2leni!) he said exuberantly. '4ine, fine, dont worry. " was #ust talking to a friend

'/ell, thats because " am happy. 'No, hes not mortal. 'No, really. /hy would " ) &hen his face both softened and hardened into a mask of patient serenity, and in a bell like tone both voluptuous and spiritual, he asked, '7ust " remind you of an old mortal ac*uaintance of yours...%) $ouis heart #umped violently, and he stared, stunned, wondering if hed stumbled into some cra.y dream. +ut Nicolas had turned his back as he walked with the phone, stretching the cord behind him, and didnt see. &here was a long peal of laughter on the other end. Nicolas smiled and said, '@eally. Hes one of us. (nyway, " think we hit on the grand unified theory. &rue or false, the following applies to every vampire who ever lived- " lived with some weird people for a while. 'A(lmost% /ell, good enough. '(lright. You too.) He hung up, and then, almost too *uickly to see, straddled $ouis lap. '( friend,) he explained. '3lder and wiser. ,he says were right. Now about that encore...) He kissed $ouis, nicking his tongue on one fang, then asked innocently, '5o you swear on your gentlemanly honor not to hurt me%) $ouis had already slid a hand up under his shirt, and he pinched one nipple lightly at first, then harder, then excruciating, letting a nail cut flesh, and he tugged Nickis hair back and traced the curves of his ear with his tongue and breathed, '3nly as much as you want.) Passing Through by ukashi goshi Story notes: timeline- set after recent drabbles Dincluding stretchNdreamNcovers setE and before :ontrapunctus fic. /hen 2leni got off the plane, she immediately spotted another immortal face in the crowd thronging the gate. '0aul,) $ouis introduced himself, and apologi.ed for Nicolas absence- tonight was the radio broadcast he and (ngie and Bames had been working toward for months, there was no way out of it. ,he feigned surprise and airily chided herself for forgetting9 '+ut at least well have a chance to talk, wont we% You know him, theres no getting a word in edgewise sometimes.) $ouis offered his arm to her as they walked through the terminal. ,he was about to laugh at him for being old fashioned, until she reali.ed that she had already taken his arm without thinking. (nachronism, how it catches up with us all! '5o

you ever get used to flying%) she asked. '(m " #ust too old for this%) He shook his head. '"ts still strange to me. " try to drive whenever " can. (nd even that " should be used to it, but it still sometimes feels odd to cover that much distance in one night.) '(nd then everything changes #ust as you start getting used to it,) she sighed. '3h well, no such thing as a free lunch, isnt that the saying now% ,o. $ets get my bag, and then "ll show you around the city, shall "%) He raised his eyebrows. '(nd which one of us is the visitor here%) '3h, " come to see Niko all the time. " can give you a splendid tour. Bust in case youve been too busy to get out much.) 111 "t was true9 2leni was an excellent guide. &hey rambled through the city, and she pointed out not only the usual attractions but a favorite slate roof near the university, a gargoyle #ust like one shed seen in @ome, inspired graffiti, the heavenly smell of a coffeehouse roasting its own beans. ,he closed her eyes and breathed in. '"f " could be mortal again #ust for a day...) (ll the while, she was *uietly attentive to $ouis, not prying, but simply open to whatever she could glean easily from his mind. ,cattered images made her wonder, and when they passed a well lit display in the window of a bookstore, she knew. (t first, it was all she could do not to laugh. @eally, what were the odds% 3nly a year ago, she had called Nicolas and asked, '5id you write a book%) '/ell, now that you mention it, theres something "m working on right now, " was going to ask if you wanted to read it...) '3f course " do, but thats not it " mean, have you published a book%) 'No. /hy%) (nd she told him about the novel shed picked up, a vampire story, and hed interrupted her- '(nd what does that have to do with me% Hey, did you know they made a vampire movie a while ago% /ith +ela $ugosi% (re you going to blame me for that one too%) '&his is different. " dont know how much of the narrative is true, but all the information about us is accurate. (nd its not #ust a dry outline like something those &alamasca bookworms would put together this had to be written by someone who knows.) ':ome on, when was the last time " did something like that% (nd if " were going to, there are at least two do.en ways of doing it that are more interesting than writing a book. +esides, any of us could have written it. Hell, (rmand could have written it, that fucking hypocrite, #ust like he was killing mortals right on

stage at the &heater after we left, oooh, secrecy, hush hush, let me drink blood in front of hundreds of people but if you dare expose us "ll cut off ) '3h, give it a rest, Niko,) she laughed. '+ut actually...(rmand is in the book. &he &heater is too. (nd again, its accurate.) ',ee% &here you go. (rmand must have written it.) '/ell, the parts about him are absurdly flattering...sort of...) she chuckled. '+ut...) she hesitated, 'its also about $estat.) ,ilence. '"ts written from the perspective of a fledgling of $estat. (nd..." dont know, it seemed like the way you might write about $estat.) (nother long silence. 'You know the way " would write about $estat% " wouldnt. " dont even want to think about him. No fucking way would " write a book about him, and youd better believe "m not going to waste my time reading that shit either.) 2leni had been almost relieved that hed hung up on her instead of bucketing down an acidic harangue that could easily have gone on for half an hour or more. (nd now, of all people, this warm, courteous, soft spoken man who conversed enthusiastically with her about cities, 0iranesi, the latest book about /atergate, the *uirks of the twentieth century! (nd under all that lively interest, a tide of melancholy, a familiar darkness. 3f all people, this man who was the author of the elation shed heard in Nicolas voice on the telephone. ,he kept silent, but her mind was racing. ,he still wasnt sure which parts of the book were embellished or flat out invented and she didnt wish to pry into his mind enough to find out but $estat had made him, that was true, beyond doubt. (nd dear 6od, if Nicolas found out! Hed mentioned that they had some sort of odd tacit agreement to boycott the past, well and good, but it would only take one careless image to slip his mind... (s he talked to 2leni, $ouis wondered exactly how she and Nicolas knew each other. Hed looked so happy talking with her on the phone, she was delighted to be here9 clearly, theyd never been lovers9 could it be % +ut he would never ask such an intrusive *uestion. 'No, "m not his maker,) she answered. He stopped in his tracks and and stared at her. ,he laughed. '"m sorry, it was rude of me to listen. +ut,) she added, serious again, 'you shouldnt let things slip through like that. You really should be more careful. " know you can youre on guard again now, and its like youre not even here. :ompletely locked. Youre remarkably good at that when you want to, you know though " guess youd have to be to survive (rmand for that long.) '/hat do you know about it%) he asked with *uiet fury.

,he laid a hand on his arm and unobtrusively guided him to a bench in the park overlooking the river. '"m not trying to make you angry, really "m not. +ut your mind was wide open- youre the one who wrote that book. "nterview /ith the <ampire.) He was speechless. '(nd theres a bounty on your head. 3h, dont worry, " dont give a damn. &he book is no threat to us9 anyone who takes it as more than fiction will be headed straight to their analysts couch. (nd youve done a fine #ob so far of evading all those thugs who cant think of anything better to do than chase you and yammer old covenish nonsense about the rules. Have you ever noticed how unoriginal our kind are% 5ont even get me started! :entury after century, same old garbage over and over, inventing rules like a bunch of schoolgirls guarding their cli*ue, probably #ust because theyre so bored with immortality that they cant think of anything better to do... " tell you what, if theres any rule we need, it should be not to give the 5ark 6ift to anyone whos capable of being bored.) ,he snorted. '"m sorry, you didnt come here to hear me rant about this. (nyway. You need to be careful. 4or your own protection.) (nd not #ust your own, she thought, and he was pu..led at the sudden catch in her voice, her preoccupied frown. He sighed. '+ut " dont understand. " had no idea you could read me. (nd shutting people out, " can do that to a point, but " cant possibly be that good at it.) 'You really have no idea%) He shook his head, bewildered. ,he regarded him for another minute. 'You dont test your limits much, do you%) ',o "ve been told,) he said, with a wry smile. '/ell, that has to change, if you want to survive. " know this is terribly forward, but would you agree to an experiment% "m not as good as (rmand, but "ve been around a while, and " can usually get through peoples defenses if " have to. "f youll allow it, "ll try, and you can block me out. Bust so that you can understand what you can do. ,o you can know that youre even doing it in the first place.) 'No. "m sorry, " know you mean well, but " cant.) '3f course, youre a very private man. /hen youre not telling your life story to a fawning mortal boy you picked up in a bar, that is,) she added with a sidelong smile. '+ut this is different. "m not even going to look at what " find unlike all the predators who are after you. " #ust want to see if you can protect yourself. &his is for your own safety. >nless you dont care, unless you have nothing to live for...%) He looked away. '" wouldnt *uite say that.) '(nd you know, if they find you, they wont spare any friends youre with either.) 2xasperated and scowling, he sighed, '(lright, alright, youve made your point. 4ine.)

(nd almost before hed finished speaking, she assaulted him. 4or the next half hour, anyone strolling past them on the park bench mistook them for a couple nursing grudges after a fight, still too surly to speak to each other. 2leni was merciless, using all the tricks shed learned in her long decades of observing (rmand, attacking subtly, clumsily, with anger, insinuation, brute force, delicacy, kindness, delirious visions, anything she could think of, letting up only to lull him into false security before another onslaught. He hated every minute of it, but it worked- he started to become aware of what he was doing, and when, and how. (nd he could tell that even at her most ruthless, she was true to her word- she cared only about tearing down the door, not seeing what lay behind it. 4inally, she leaned back, stretched, and said, '/ell, that was exhausting,) and they looked at each other and laughed. 111 (s they climbed the stairs in the apartment building, a few students standing around the shared kitchen greeted 2leni enthusiastically and handed her a beer, which she gamely pretended to drink. "mmediately she fell to catching up with them, chatting about girlfriends, classes, cra.y drug stories, their new scheme of selling their plasma for boo.e money Dhere she tried very hard not to snicker, and she wondered if any vampires had ever tried to do an end run around their fretful consciences by paying cash strapped college students for the little drinkE. None of them found it odd that this woman at least ten years older than they, sleek and poised in a cashmere sweater and a necklace of amber beads, seemed perfectly at home with them. ,he told $ouis to go on upstairs, shed be there in #ust a minute. Half an hour later, she climbed to the top floor, and through the open door, saw $ouis and Nicolas in each others arms, up against a wall. 4or good measure, she assaulted $ouis mind again, unawares, and was satisfied to find it locked. /hen they noticed her, Nicki rushed to her, spun her around, and kissed her cheeks. ,he saw a wound on his neck, almost healed over but still visible, and she hid her shock adroitly. 4inally she understood that sense of familiarity that had been nagging at her all evening- of course, $ouis smelled like Nicolas. Nickis blood in his veins, Nicki permitting that... ,he could hardly believe it. +ut it gave her more peace of mind than anything yet- if they hadnt seen anything, even in the blood, theyd be safe, at least for a while longer. '/here have you been%) Nicki asked her. '"ve been waiting forever. Here, theres all this " have to play for you ) he nodded toward a stack of records ' and " got us tickets to the ballet tomorrow, and ) '2xcuse me, would you mind if " step out for a bit%) $ouis asked. '3h, dont leave on account of me,) 2leni protested, but she could tell he wasnt #ust being polite9 by now he was visibly pale and drawn, with a dull predatory cast to his eyes. He kissed Nicki *uickly, they exchanged a glance, and he walked out.

3nce he was out of the building, Nicki asked, ',o how long are you in town%) 'Bust passing through. "ll stay a few nights, and then "m meeting up with her in +arcelona.) '(h. ,o in other words, you #ust wanted to stop by and inspect my lover.) '3h, is he your lover%) she asked, mock innocent, with a fleeting glance at Nickis throat. '(nd very clever, timing your arrival so " couldnt meet you at the airport! Youre getting so devious in your old age. You #ust wanted to corner him, didnt you% (nd what were you two doing all that time anyway%) '" was #ust showing him the sights, since obviously you havent shown him anything but your ) He glared at her. ' record collection,) she finished serenely. '" hope you werent interrogating him the whole time,) Nicolas sighed. ',o, you nosy old gossip, does he meet with your approval%) ,he steepled her fingers. '/hats this% :an it be that Nicolas de $enfent is asking for someones approval%) ',hut up, thats not what " meant!) '+ecause " distinctly remember you saying, and " *uote, A"f " ever start giving a shit what anyone thinks, you tell me, and "ll climb up on the roof and wait for the sun.) '" didnt say that.) 'Bune 18th, 1LIF.) 'Youre making that up!) '1-IG am.) He rolled his eyes. '(nd how many seconds%) ,he laughed, then said *uietly, '" like him.) The End. Contrapunctus XII a 4 by ukashi goshi $ouis woke in an empty bed. (s he rolled over and stretched, he felt a slip of paper under his hand. "t was too dark to read, so he pulled himself up and stumbled out to the living room. "f you could call it a living room- the building had been hastily chopped into as many spaces as possible, one proper apartment on the ground floor, and above, mostly single rooms for rent. &he neighbors

college students for the most part, and once in a while a gri..led, middle aged alcoholic loved Nicolas- he didnt add to the mess in the shared kitchen and the two shared bathrooms, and he never complained about the loud parties still in full swing at I am. (nd though his apartment on the top floor consisted only of a windowless bedroom with a well hung door and an oddly shaped ad#oining room, it was enough, and he would happily have paid three times the rent. +y the light of the streetlights, $ouis read, '@ehearsal, back later. 5o you ever wake up at a reasonable hour%) &he word 'ever) was underlined three times. &urning it over, he saw that Nicki had scribbled it on a page torn from an old +lack 7ask maga.ine, and he laughed. Hed planned on going out, but it was too tempting #ust to stay in. He never would have admitted it, but Nicolas wore him out sometimes- that burning restlessness, moving from one full cup to another, fleeing one shadow after another, everything a precipice... He lit a candle DNicki had not only unscrewed the bulb from the overhead fixture but put several layers of duct tape over the light switch, complaining that electric light gave him a headache, and he had no choice out in the world, but damned if he was going to put up with it under his own roofE and got lost looking through the stacks of books, records, and tapes that covered every wall, floor to ceiling, except in the spaces reserved for turntable, speakers, various tape machines, a tangle of cords, even an anti*ue phonograph. He leafed through novels, ignored several thick bundles of letters held together with brittle rubber bands, and then a recording caught his eye- a flat cardboard box labeled '$(rt de la 4ugue) in Nicolas writing, both sides covered with a list of the movements, some of which bore cryptic notes. :urious, he took out the spool of tape and threaded it through the reel to reel. His curiosity deepened as he listened- he knew the work well, but hed never heard it played by a string *uartet9 or was it a *uartet% &here was certainly no cello, nothing deeper than a viola, if that. 5espite the limited range, though, the tone was dark, not shrill or brassy, and hed never heard an interpretation *uite like this. (t first he skimmed through a copy of +leak House as he listened, but then he put it back on the shelf and lay down on the scuffed wood floor. (s he followed the theme through all those obsessive manipulations, *uick and slow, elongated and foreshortened, inverted and reversed, stratified and ornamented, he do.ed off, and there was a grainy, rapid fire black and white movie where the private eye dumbfounded the cops, triumphantly showing them that the ransom note, their one and only clue, yielded an entirely different message held up to a mirror, and another if read upside down, and still another if &he slam of the door woke him up. Nicki groaned, '3h, please tell me youve done something other than sleep the whole time "ve been out. (re you sure were the same age% ( week old fledgling could do better than that. 3r,) he added with a wicked grin, lying down next to him on the floor, 'did " wear you out%)

'" died in 1KL1,) $ouis yawned. Nicolas eyes widened, and his hand stopped halfway down $ouis back, and in that sudden stillness, both of them thought of bygone centuries where every inch of a womans skirt was meaningful, and a glimpse of ankle could destroy a reputation9 and Nicolas thought of Bapanese courtesans long years of training in precisely how much wrist to reveal, and how, and when. 7aybe it was an accident, or maybe for a moment it was too tiring to keep the door to the past locked9 but in any case, $ouis hadnt meant to startle him so badly. He kissed Nicki lightly and rubbed his back and asked, ',o what is this% "ve never heard an (rt of the 4ugue *uite like this before.) Nicki took a *uick breath and said, '" made it,) as if nothing had happened. '@eally% &hats ingenious, splicing together different tracks ) 'No. No splicing.) $ouis didnt trust that mischievous smile9 this had to be yet another bluff. +ut before he could protest, Nicolas got up, stopped the tape, and said, '"ll show you.) He took out the violin, tuned it *uickly, and did the impossible. 4or a while, $ouis watched closely, trying to understand what was happening with the bow and Nickis fingers, how one violin could speak with four voices, and how preternatural speed even to his sharp eyes, things seemed to be in two places at once could create such heavy, pensive slowness. &hen he asked, ':an " see the score%) /ith a glance and a flick of the tip of the bow, Nicolas pointed him toward a shelf behind him, and $ouis pulled out a heavy bundle of papers. 3n top were sheets torn from a spiral notebook, and below that, draft after draft after draft, going back even to yellowed parchment. He set aside the rest and pored over the earliest pages, reading the frustrated marginalia. &hen he turned a page, and his heart stopped. 3n the back of one sheet filled with attempts at untangling a thorny passage, he found an outline of a play, with stage directions for '7aitre,) '4ils,) and '0retre,) mostly in Nicolas small, dense handwriting. +ut there were also suggestions and embellishments in a la.ily elegant hand he recogni.ed immediately. Hed thought he was going cra.y that night when Nicolas, talking to a friend on the phone, suddenly did an uncanny, eerily accurate imitation of (rmand, but he wasnt imagining things, it was true. Nicolas stopped playing, and $ouis looked up. 'You knew (rmand. (t the &heater.) Nicolas put the violin in its case and sat down on the floor with him, and very *uietly said, 'Yes. ( long time ago. $ong before it burned down.)

'" know, it must have been...) $ouis said absently, looking down at (rmands writing. Nickis heart hammered against his ribs. He wanted to grab $ouis by the shoulders and shake him, but the only thing greater than his desire to know everything was his terror of knowing everything. 4inally, not even trying to sound casual, he said, '" wonder what hes doing now.) $ouis answered, softly and precisely, 'Hes torturing a mortal named 5aniel 7olloy.) Nicki turned on him, feral, and yelled, 'How do you know that%) $ouis reached out to touch his shoulder, but Nicki pulled back. 4inally, $ouis said, '"t was (rmand who cut off your hands, wasnt it%) ,till glaring and panicked, Nicki said, 'Yes.) $ouis narrowed his eyes. '"m not surprised.) Nicolas stood abruptly and walked to the window and stood for a long time, looking down through old, warped glass that barely held in the heat in the winter, his thoughts hectic and muddy, except- yes, hed seen the way $ouis face darkened, and how well he knew him already, how fury registered not with shouting or histrionics but with a subtle chilled hardness at the corners of his mouth. /ith his back still turned, he asked, '5o you still have that room at the :olonnade%) $ouis ga.ed at Nicolas back, shoulder blades standing out through his threadbare t shirt, so vulnerable, hair tied back with a ribbon, an anachronism he was completely unconscious of Dit happened to them all at some point...E, long, lean body that he couldnt stop looking at and could never get enough of, and he wished hed never asked to see that score, that he hadnt turned over that page. "f Nicolas knew or guessed how long hed stayed with (rmand but he didnt even need to guess, it was over already. $ouis stood up. '3f course, " understand, "ll go if you want me to...) Nicolas turned around, and if $ouis had only known, he would have recogni.ed the face of the boy who stood perfectly still, staring at a pistol and the face of the man behind it, not knowing if the bullet would miss altogether, clip his shoulder, tear through his heart, or shatter his skull, and then, with racing pulse and a broken smile, Nicolas said, 'You idiot, why are you throwing away money on that% 5ont you know " want you here%) The End.

If by ukashi goshi New!

&he brass door of the hotel elevator dulled their reflections and warmed their pale skin, and $ouis could almost imagine that they were mortal. How would it have been, himself and Nicolas, #ust a couple of young men together% (nd it sent a sharp pang through him, imagining the weight of those centuries lifted, the end of history, before history, the very idea of being together before it all. &hey stood in silence, $ouis avoiding Nicolas eyes as he steeled himself to do what hed resolved to do. &he bell chimed, the doors rolled open, and they stepped out into an impossibly long corridor stretching off to a black window at the end. /all sconces spaced evenly between the evenly spaced doors blanketed it with soft light, and the plush carpet deadened all sound. Nicolas stood listlessly for a moment, staring, distracted, but came to himself when $ouis took his hand and picked the right door out of that endless procession. $ouis hadnt been to the room in several days, but the bedside lamp was on, the bed was made neatly, covers turned down, mint on the pillow, and the staff had evidently tried to reach some sort of compromise between cleanliness and privacy- the books and clothes that hed left carelessly scattered over the floor and the bed had been separated into contained piles, but not disturbed otherwise. Nicolas laughed at the scene and wandered aimlessly through the room, curling his toes in the deep shag carpet Das always, hed kicked his shoes off as soon as he got through the doorE, bending down to peer at the vinyl bound +ible in the bedside drawer, the brown tiles in the bathroom, the tiny, paper wrapped bars of soap, the slightly dusty plastic bird of paradise plant in a brass pot in the corner. (s he fingered the heavy orange drapes, he murmured, almost to himself, '"snt it strange to still be alive%) $ouis hugged him from behind and rested his head on his shoulder. '7m. (ll the time. /here are we%) (nd it struck him for the first time that Nicolas apartment, for all its disrepair, had something ageless about it- wood floor, bare walls, nothing decorative whatsoever, an oasis out of time. Nicolas came out of his reverie and turned around to face him. 'Nowhere worth staying.) He touched $ouis face and asked, '5o you still want to come to me%) $ouis met his ga.e and asked, '(re you sure you want me to come%) Nicolas looked pu..led and was about to speak, but $ouis had already turned away. '/ould you mind helping me pack% "ll get the clothes, you can get the books.) (s he started loosely folding shirts, he watched out the corner of his eye- sure enough, Nicolas could never pick up a book without opening it. Nicolas rummaged freely9 clearly, $ouis didnt mind. ( couple novels, some essays and short stories, a collection of 0iranesi prints. :arceri d"nven.ione. "maginary prisons. He smiled at the idea. /hen he got to a first edition of 4our Ouartets, he forgot about packing altogether and stood reading. /hen he reached the end and flipped back to the beginning, he saw a note in la.ily

elegant handwriting on the inside coverCaro, Its been so long. Wont ou come bac!" Who in the #orl$ can un$erstan$ us as #e un$erstan$ each other" %. /hen he looked up, $ouis was watching him, unflinching. 'You were lovers,) Nicolas said. 'Yes.) 'How long did you stay with him%) '5ecades.) Nicolas was silent for a while, then said, '/hen " told you what he did to me, you said you werent surprised. /hy%) '" couldnt be with him that long without coming to know him...) '5ont pull the evasive act. /hy%) $ouis drew a deep breath. 'He killed someone " loved, someone who depended on me. ,o that " would be free to go away with him.) '(nd you did, didnt you. (fter all that, you went with him.) $ouis thought of all the arguments he could offer in his defense- that he had been entirely alone in the world9 that (rmand had tricked him into believing that the others were responsible9 that (rmand had tempted him with the thing he wanted most desperately, knowledge9 that (rmand had besieged him with all the formidably seductive illusions at his command. +ut though all these excuses were true, he refused to hide behind them, and, burning with shame, said, 'Yes.) Nicolas face had been stony, impenetrable, unreadable, but now, with a flicker of paranoia in his eyes, he asked, '(re you still involved with him% "s that why youre carrying this around% 5ont lie to me! You still care about him, dont you%) $ouis said flatly, '"m carrying it around because " like the poems. "f (rmand were still capable of provoking any reaction from me at all, " would either be with him, or " would have burned the book. (nd...sometimes its worth having a reminder of ones mistakes.) Nicolas seemed to back down slightly in the face of such utter cold detachment. +ut his face was still hard, and $ouis was well aware that he might be packing

not to move in but to leave town altogether. Nicolas stared at him darkly seemingly for hours. &hen he opened the book again, looked down, and read, '&ime present and time past are both perhaps present in time future.) $ouis continued, '(nd time future contained in time past.) '"f all time is eternally present, all time is unredeemable,) Nicolas read. &hen he looked up, and though his face was still somber, in his eyes there was the beginning of his devilish, defiant grin, and he repeated softly, '"f.) &hen, deliberately, he closed the book, set it down, and crossed the room. He put his arms around $ouis? waist and kissed him deeply. (nd then he tilted his head back slightly, looked into his eyes, and silently reminded him of that night, the first time, when hed given himself over, the first time hed ever given the blood to a lover, and $ouis had carried him past the panic and the nightmarish memories. $ouis understood, and, eyes stinging with tears, he kissed Nicolas throat slowly, reverently. Nicki moaned as he felt those soft lips moving against his skin, and even the pain was good as $ouis fangs sank deep into his flesh, and then the sweet freefall as the blood flowed, so right, #ust as it was meant to. He buried his hands in his black hair and pressed him close, and when $ouis began to let go he gasped, '5ont stop, " dont care)9 but he had only broken off to *uickly skin off Nickis shirt and then his own. &hey kissed again, furiously, and the taste of blood was unbearably arousing, but $ouis hands were already at his waist, unbuttoning his #eans, sliding them down, lingering over his hips9 impatient, Nicki twisted out of them and pulled off $ouis #eans in seconds. (s they ravaged each others mouths, suddenly he felt $ouis massaging his neck, rubbing his hand in the blood that had spilled before the wound started to heal itself, and then before Nicki could even wonder, $ouis hand closed around his cock, stroking him, slick with the blood, and oh, it was too much, he couldnt wait any longer, he was about to shove him down and take him by any means necessary, but $ouis grabbed his shoulders and forced him to sit on the edge of the bed. "n one fluid movement he slipped down and impaled himself, taking that whole hard length inside him, and as they found a rhythm together, they couldnt stop ga.ing into each others eyes, seeing each other for the first time. "t was torture at first, achingly slow, and Nicki slid his hands down to $ouis hips, gripping him hard enough to leave bruises, trying to move him. /ith expert timing Dwith his last remaining bit of conscious thought Nicki thought $ouis should have been a musicianE $ouis built up momentum, and Nicki thrust up against his weight, and oh, he wanted it to last forever, but when $ouis stroked his face, he turned blindly to his wrist, a reflex, that river of blood running so close to the skin, exactly as $ouis had intended him to9 and still looking deep into those green eyes, he bit down, and it undid him, that hot rush of blood, his lovers heart coursing down his throat, and he came hard, only the blood he was locked to kept him from crying out, and with his free arm $ouis held him close as he shuddered in violent, blissful release.

/hen the gash began to heal itself, Nicolas allowed it to and let go, and, chest still heaving, pulled $ouis down to the bed with him and held him close. "t was some time before he was in any condition to notice anything, but then he felt $ouis kissing blood sweat away from his temple such a languid, idle gesture, even though he was painfully hard, still unsatisfied. 'Youre used to not getting what you want, arent you%) he chided him gently. $ouis face darkened, but Nicki laid a finger across his lips. '4orget them. "m not some coven master, "m not your maker.) He kissed him and shifted his weight, pulling $ouis on top of him, drawing his knees up, and even as he whispered, '" want you,) he felt $ouis pushing at him, and then with a gasp he was past the threshold, and for a moment it felt like his first time, like hed be torn in half, but it wasnt enough, and even as they moved together he begged, 'No, dont hold back "m not them forget them if youre gentle, only because you want to " dont care, give it to me, all of it, " need you,) until $ouis claimed his mouth. Nicolas sliced his tongue open along one ra.or sharp fang and drew his knees up further, goading him, and he loved it, feeling $ouis grow heavy on top of him, letting go, restraint abandoned, still thrusting deliciously slowly, but relentless instead of gentle. /ithout hesitation now he tore Nickis throat open, pulling hard, the insatiable thirst, and Nicki let his head fall back, moaning, wanting only more, tear me open, take it all, but $ouis pulled back. $ooking down into Nickis eyes, he slit open a vein in his own neck with one sharp fingernail and let the blood drip down over his parted lips. Nicki pulled him down savagely and ripped at his throat, and with a little twist $ouis bit into him again, reopened the gash hed made before. $ocked to each other, drinking deep, they tore into each other again and again the instant the wounds started to heal, and it was heady, delirious double vision, #oined in the blood, each feeling the others body as his own, impossible to tell where one ended and the other began. $ouis drove harder and harder into him until the heart stopping, unbearable, burning ecstasy obliterated everything. (nd even as they convulsed against each other, they drank, and lingered there as their hearts finally *uieted and exhaustion overtook them. &hey do.ed off holding each other, still nestled into each others throats. /hen they woke up, the clock read G am. '/e should leave,) $ouis murmured. '/hy bother...) Nicolas yawned. '$ets #ust sleep here instead.) +ut $ouis knew from the way he had lost himself studying the room, disturbed, as if each detail were some hideous alien insect, that waking here would be a disaster9 hed probably be withdrawn and shaken for the rest of the night, and $ouis would have to coax him out, lead him to a victim, and lead him back home. 6uessing that an argument might be enough to rouse him, $ouis said, '(nd well have to do something about the sheets.)

Nicki propped himself on one elbow and surveyed the damage- a few rips and copious bloodstains. '/hats wrong with them%) '(re you cra.y%) '/ho cares% "ts not like youre leaving a corpse or something.) $ouis had already stuffed the top sheet and one pillowcase into his suitcase. Now to get Nicki out of bed so he could strip off the other sheet... He picked up Nickis old 5oors t shirt from the floor and inspected the bloodstain at the collar. '(nd you wont be able to wear this either.) Nicki got up and snatched it from his hand. '/hy the hell not% "ts my favorite shirt!) $ouis swiftly pulled the other sheet from the bed, then peeled a few bills from his wallet and left them on the night table, weighted down with the standard issue +ible. '$ets finish packing.) Hapha.ardly, they began dressing and piling clothes and books into the suitcase. /hen Nicolas tossed in 4our Ouartets, $ouis asked him, '5o you still want me, even though " was an idiot%) +ut playfully9 they were still lightheaded and half drunk with the swoon. '3f course. +ut you really were an idiot,) Nicolas said fondly. 'Not entirely your fault, though. He can be *uite seductive...) '3h% "s this the voice of experience% /ere you %) 'No. Jind of. Not really. "n a way...) $ouis looked at him *uestioningly but let it go. /hile Nicolas was distracted, he slipped a clean shirt, one of his own, over Nickis head, and noted how well it fit. $ooking at their reflection in the oval mirror hung over the luggage rack how like they were, tall, strong but lean, a swimmers build he said, '" guess were his type.) &hey both broke down laughing. &hen Nicolas said, '2nough of him.) He snapped the latches of the suitcase shut, slipped his arms around $ouis waist, and then $ouis felt something sharp- Nicki had slipped a key into his pocket. $ouis kissed him and pushed his dark curls out of his face and said, '$ets go home.) The End. irtuoso by ukashi goshi 'Besus, (rmand, thats the fifth time the phone has rung in the last two hours! /ill you #ust answer it already%)

'No.) 5aniel laughed. ',crew all the +otticelli angel crap, do you know that when you give me that ANo you make a little 7ona $isa face% 5o you practice that one in the mirror%) (rmand #ust smiled at him. '/ho is it, anyway% 5o you have a girlfriend%) &he phone rang again, and (rmand walked away from it, out of the room. 5aniel followed him. '(re you behind on child support% 3r is it a collection agency% 5o you owe somebody something, and theyre coming to fit you with cement galoshes and walk you off the bow of the yacht%) 5aniel chortled to himself. (rmand ruffled his hair fondly and said, '5aniel, youre drunk.) 'News flash!) 5aniel crowed, lifting his glass high. '7aybe you should be the reporter, not me,) he said, and laughed again. &he phone started ringing again, and this time, before 5aniel could say anything, (rmand said, '$ets go out. /hat was it you suggested earlier% &hat we take a limo to a pi..a place%) 'Yeah! (nd " bet " can beat you at ,pace "nvaders.) (rmand forced 5aniel to put on a clean shirt, and they left. 111 /hen they got home, 5aniel trudged upstairs to take a shower. &he phone started ringing again. (rmand stared at it, unwilling, but he reali.ed there was no way out but to answer. He lifted the receiver and closed his eyes as his guess was confirmed. '(rmand.) 'Yes%) '" know what youre doing. ,top it.) '" havent the faintest idea what youre talking about.) '5ont play dumb with me, as they say these days. You know exactly what " mean.) 'No, " dont.)

&he voice at the other end of the line was shaking, almost broken. 'You bastard, youre ripping my thoughts out and putting them in other peoples heads! Youre stealing my memories. &here is something living in my blood, and youre making me dream those horrible dreams, those red haired women, over and over and over! 5ont try to deny it, we both know that you are fully capable of it!) (nd hes right, " am fully capable of it, (rmand thought, with a bitter smile. /hat is it they say, sometimes paranoiacs have real enemies% 2xcept that in this case, of course, (rmand truly had nothing to do with it. He always kept his distance, limited their contact as much as he could, and tried to forget that he existed. 'Nicolas,) he said softly. '&hat isnt true. /e agreed to go our separate ways, and "ve always kept up my side of the bargain;) '/hich is more than " can say for some people,) Nicolas minced in a prissy voice, imitating (rmands accent. (rmand ignored him and continued, '" wish you only the best '

5ark laughter. '(nd " know all about your Abest wishes! 5id you know that my wrists still hurt sometimes% "t isnt supposed to be that way, were supposed to heal. (rent we supposed to heal%) His voice started shaking again, as if he were holding back tears. '/hat do you want from me%) '2xactly what " said, you worthless sack of shit! &his is horrible, somethings invaded my blood! ,top stealing my thoughts and putting them in other peoples minds. (nd stop making me have those terrible dreams about the twins.) (rmand fro.e as an idea occurred to him- if he was having exactly the same dreams Nicolas was having, was he going mad too, were they all going mad% /as it one virus infecting them all% ,everely distracted, he cast about for something to say. '" listened to your latest album. "ts brilliant. (nd "m glad to see that you at least have the sense to use a pseudonym,) he added, in a miserable failed attempt at levity. 2ven as the words were tumbling out of his mouth, he knew it was all wrong, and cursed his bungling. &he two cardinal sins- mentioning or even alluding to $estat, and praising Nickis work. 7ore than once at the theater, after someone tossed him a compliment, Nicolas had smashed a cello or torn to shreds a scrim that had taken months to paint. (nd after a while, even 2leni had gotten too frightened to talk to him about $estat. '>nlike him, you mean.) '"m sorry, " shouldnt have )

'4uck your apologies. " dont care. 7ake it stop. 0lease, you have to make it stop.) &he plunge from fury to groveling was as nauseatingly swift as one of those virtuosic caprices hed loved to shatter their ears with, the compositions

that later found their way into the hands of his mortal namesake 0aganini. (rmand drew a deep breath, trying to gather the courage to speak. 'Nicolas; you are not the only one.) He paused. '"ve had those dreams too, and so have some of the others.) '+ullshit!) Nicki hissed scornfully. 'Youve always been a liar. You are the virtuoso of lying! &hats why you loved the theater, and thats you did all those things to me! You used the stage to lie, and " used it to tell the truth.) 3h, how well he remembered it- all of them knew it, that however bad Nickis raving was, his moments of lucidity were far worse. &rying to keep his voice calm and measured, (rmand said, '&his has nothing to do with me. "m not doing anything to you.) &here was such a long pause that (rmand wondered if hed hung up, but then Nicki said, '" hear youve been keeping a pet mortal these days. How touching! (re you getting sentimental in your old age% He must be very interesting. 7aybe " should track him down for a little chat% (fter all, " remember that you were very eager to invite me over when " was someones mortal protege;) 2nraged, (rmand drew himself up, and his face settled into stony impenetrability. He was completely unaware, as hed always been, that whenever he assumed that stance, he looked every bit as severe and implacable as 7arius, curls and soft mouth notwithstanding. (s coven master, he had been feared with good reason. :oldly, he said, 'Nicolas, if you do not stop calling me, " will be forced to inform our mutual ac*uaintance that your supposed death on the pyre was a fiction.) Nicolas snorted. '" bet youre standing there with the old coven master look, arent you%) (rmand blushed, disconcerted- until that moment, he had been entirely unconscious of the mask he was putting on for what was, after all, #ust a phone call. +ut he narrowed his eyes and bluffed, '" have his number right here, shall " call him%) He heard only silence, and then a click as Nicolas hung up. 111 &oweling off after the shower, 5aniel faintly overheard (rmand talking on the phone, though he didnt catch any words. "t was over by the time he was dressed. (s he started down the stairs, he called out, ',o who was that% 5id you finally talk to that asshole who kept calling earlier% 7aybe you should find out where he lives and eat him so hell stop calling all the time.) He was halfway to the kitchen to fix himself a drink before he noticed, startled, that (rmand was sitting motionless on the couch with his face buried in his hands. His hair was clipped short that night, and with his nape bared, he looked

suddenly boyish and defenseless. 5aniel forgot about the drink and sat down next to (rmand, putting an arm around his shoulders, kissing the top of his head. 'Hey,) he said softly, '/hat is it% /hat happened%) (rmand lifted his face from his hands, and it was streaked with bloody tears. He opened his mouth to speak, then stopped, shook his head. 5aniel suppressed a little sigh of irritation as he saw that this was yet another *uestion hed never get an answer to. +ut (rmand let 5aniel hold him, trying and failing to drown it all out in his mortal warmth and the thrum of his heartbeat. The End.