October 5, 2009

The Voice of the Denver Waldorf High School Volume 2, Issue 1

Illustration by Meril Shane

Chronicles Of Waldorfia
Contents Welcome to C.O.W. Version 2.1
Welcome to a DWS community, to Face- horoscopes, or a gossip col-
Welcome Back 1 new year, a book. umn, since Gladys and
Three Sports Changes 1 new edition, a It has been my personal Gregg have graduated to
Financial Crisis Start 2 new look, and pleasure to watch the greater glories. Consider
a new C.O.W. C.O.W. grow. Hopefully we contributing comics, puzzles,
Letters 2 School is well can continue to milk the sports reports, surveys, quiz-
Keeping You Safe 3 By John Reinhart under way C.O.W. for years to come. zes, or weather reports.
now. The high This year the journalism Write up your thoughts
Sudoku 3 school grew by about 25% block is not until just before about recent world events or
Reinhart’s Reading 4 this year and German is the Christmas. That means the Waldorf events, recent
official third language in the 11th grade will take over the books, movies, or CDs, re-
Dangerous Cows 4 high school halls. C.O.W. during those four cent déjà vu, amnesia, past
Sudoku Solution 4 The C.O.W. started last weeks. Up until then the experiences, or recent past
year in the 11th grade journal- C.O.W. will be dependent life experiences. The C.O.W.
Write for the C.O.W. ism class. Since that humble upon your contributions. If looks forward to chewing
Writers needed for start, the C.O.W. expanded to you enjoy reading the over your thoughts.
 Horoscopes include contributions from C.O.W., I encourage you to Submissions for the next
middle school students, 9th, contribute in some small issue are due October 28.
 Weather 10th, and 12th grade students. way. Consider writing on a Hal-
 Gossip Column The C.O.W. went from the Consider sending in let- loween theme. The C.O.W.
 Columns high school, to middle school, ters to the Bovine Bounty of is what you make it. Make it
 Sports to being sent to the entire Brilliance. Consider writing good!
 DWS News
 Foreign Reports Three College Football Changes
 Comics
1. The BCS about how unfair it is that an money, but it would also be
 Puzzles playoff sys- undefeated Utah team did much less annoying to
 Halloween Stuff! tem. not get to play in the Na- watch.
Submission deadline There isn’t tional Championship game, 3. The Heisman Choice.
for next issue is one, and that is while two one-loss teams
The Heisman is sup-
the issue. They did.
October 28 posed to go to the year’s best
By Hunter Curtis just choose the 2. The Oregon Ducks uni- college football player, but
two teams that forms. lately it hasn’t. The award
Contact the C.O.W. they think are the best and let Have you ever watched has gone to the quarterback
them play in the champion- an Oregon Ducks game? It on the best team. Players on
Denver Waldorf School ship. There isn’t any excite- seems like they have a dif- teams outside the top 25
940 Fillmore Street ment in that and a lot of the ferent uniform for every rankings do not get looked at
Denver CO 80206 time it isn’t the best two game, and none of them are enough for the Heisman, and
teams playing. They need to very good. The Ducks and even players outside the top
303-777-0531 x162 instate an eight team playoff many other college football 10 teams get less of a look.
to find the two best teams. teams need to just settle on The Heisman should go to
dwhsnews@gmail.com Not only would that make one away uniform and one the game’s best player, not
things more exciting, but peo- home uniform. Not only the best player on the best
ple would stop complaining would it save the college team.
 Chronicles of Waldorfia
Page 2
Financial Crisis: Where it Started
The current
financial
crisis has
been a very
popular
topic lately.
By Gautam Webb Below, I
have at-
tempted to explain some
of the supposed causes.
These are a few examples
of the incredible com-
plexities that can be found
in modern economies.
Quantitative easing,
securitization, and credit
default swaps are all be-
lieved to have con-
tributed to the eco- Quantitative easing,
nomic crash.
The first is a securitization, and
method of boosting
an economy. When
credit default swaps,
an economy begins
to lag, banks often
oh my!
reduce their interest rates
in an attempt to encourage
people to take loans with
them. However, when
rates become so low that
the banks become no
longer willing to finance
loans, a problematic situa-
tion develops.
This is what happened
after the stock market
crashed in late 2008.
When this occurs, a gov-
ernment will sometimes
employ quantitative eas-
ing, by creating money
and using it to inject
money into the economy
by enabling banks to sell
assets to the government.
The hope is then that
banks will be less reluctant
to lend and that the econ-
omy will repair itself.
However, a possibility
then still exists that plans
could go awry, and hyper-
inflation could occur.
Securitization is the
process of pooling assets,
which are any things that
have worth, and apportion-
ing them into securities,
which are basically certifi-
cates of ownership and
include stocks and mort-
gages, and then selling the
securities.
Securitization weak-
ens the relationship be-
tween assets and securi-
ties. In addition, with debt
assets, there is the poten-
tial for default and an as-
sociated risk exists. These
two last caveats taken to-
gether mean that risky se-
curities are not traded as
such. People begin to trade
simply to make money,
without regard to the back-
ing of a security.
As an example, Fannie
Mae and Freddie Mac owe
the government many bil-
lions of dollars. However,
because the government is
supporting these two insti-
tutions, people buy their
stocks even though they
are effectively bankrupt.
People buy based on their
analysis of others’ inten-
tions, and not based on the
underlying asset.
Credit default swaps
are insurance against the
failing of a corporation. A
company who has pur-
chased a credit default swap
pays an annual premium,
and if the specified corpora-
tion, against which the insur-
ance has been bought, fails,
the insured company re-
ceives a specified amount.
However, in order to buy
insurance, a company must
not necessarily have owner-
ship of the corporation
against which the credit de-
fault swap is secured. A
company may buy a credit
default swap against any
corporation.
This can obviously lead
to disastrous results. For
example, suppose that
ten companies buy 2%
credit default swaps
against a $1 million
company. Then, every
year, each of the ten
companies pays a pre-
mium of $20,000, and if the
company against which the
credit default swaps have
been bought fails, then each
insured company receives $1
million. This leads to the
payout of $10 million upon
the default of a $1 million
dollar company.
If the institution which
must supply the $10 million
cannot do so, and if it then
defaults also, the possibility
exists that other companies
have credit default swaps
against this second failing
institution and that large
sums of money will have to
be paid out as insurance
against this institution as
well. Therefore, a large
chain reaction which leads to
huge amounts of debt can
occur.
Volume 2, Issue 1
Letters
Letters?
Need any foreign corre-
spondents?
Nick Anthony
Wesleyan University, CT
Dear Nick,
The C.O.W. is always in
need of foreign correspon-
dents. In particular, the
C.O.W. is interested in reports
from places beginning with C,
O, or W, the bowels of insur-
ance offices, or airplane bath-
rooms.
Magical Mashup
HEY! I have a radio
show! and everyone is re-
quired to listen. In Itunes go
to advanced, open audio
stream, and enter
http://192.101.188.47:8000
Connor Gallagher
Hampshire College, MA
Dear Connor,
This edition of the
C.O.W. features a state-of-
the-art hyper C.O.W.-link that
will direct all readers to your
radio show. Early reports on
the show suggest it may be
detrimental to zombies.
Fe-el Classy
How do you do Dwhog-
berg? Everyone wants to look
and feel classy. Wearing ex-
pensive looking watches will
give you the feeling of being
gorgeous. She won't be com-
petent to take her eyes off
your wrist!
Lizzie Numbers
Spamville
Dear Lizzie,
Competent, what? Con-
sider your word choice more
carefully, please.
Chronicles of Waldorfia Volume 2, Issue 1
Page 3

The C.O.W.— Keeping Your Community Safe

By Ajo Yddet

From the desk of Waldorf School, a school

C.O.W. Director, John that follows the teachings of
Reinhart. one Rudolf Steiner. Efforts to
This is a communica- make contact with Steiner
tion sent to all heads of have proved fruitless, and we
the different departments can no longer justify spend-
of the U.S. government ing government funds on
concerning the suspect séances to attempt to speak
Theodore Oja. Herein is a with Steiner. After a thor-
brief summary of the ough and tiring search, few
C.O.W.’s efforts to appre- results have turned up in re-
hend and rehabilitate him, lation to the Denver Waldorf
as well as progress re- School. Questioning Denver
ports. The dates have residents has proved to be
been removed for reasons Theodore Oja is on the run from the C.O.W. Information about his pointless, as not one of the
of National Security. whereabouts, activities, or shoe size should be sent to numerous wire-taps or inter-
dwhsnews@gmail.com. All leads will be kept confidential. rogations has turned up re-
To all those who sults. Clearly this place is the
have been sent this mes- two of which are watch- Teddy’s family moved to the perfect hideout for Teddy,
sage: Warning! A warrant ing TV and lip-syncing as Highlands district of Den- where he can continue to
has been issued for the ar- best he can, and adopting ver, where he currently re- practice his skills of trickery.
rest of one Theodore Mi- as odd of a demeanor as sides. It is believed that
chael Oja. The suspect is a he can imagine, which is Teddy attends the Denver
5’9” tall Caucasian male usually derived from a
with light brown hair and fictional character he has
blue eyes. He is wanted on come into contact with
Sudoku
suspicion of stealing the through some form of me- By Emma Franklin
identity of another to con- dia. His federally funded
fuse potential enemies of a profile paints the picture
social nature. Investigations of one who has striven to
are underway to ascertain deceive the unlucky souls
the true identity of this 17- around him.
year-old male, who has When Teddy reached
been masquerading as an the age of 6 months, his
outgoing, bro-tacular young family relocated to High-
man. lands Ranch, Colorado.
The following is from While he was there,
the director’s personal Teddy was forced to at-
notes. tend several public
Theodore Oja, who schools, which he de-
shall henceforth be referred spised. Who knows what
to as “Teddy,” was born in he has in store for these
Santa Fe, New Mexico on unlucky neighbors and
August 3rd, 1992 to Margue- sadly misguided public
rite McCormack and Mi- institutions of learning.
chael Oja. From a very early After a short time spent in
age, Teddy has enjoyed a house rented from a
masquerading as others. He landlord who can best be
does this in several ways, characterized as creepy, Solution on the following page.
 Chronicles of Waldorfia Volume 2, Issue 1
Page 4

Reinhart’s Reading Corner Dangerous Cows

By John Reinhart By Denise Grady, New York Times
The image of cows as placid, gentle
Few people symbolize the everyone willing to listen.
creatures is a city slicker’s fantasy, judging
movement of the last century than Seeger’s passion for social jus-
from an article published on Friday by the
Pete Seeger. Seeger is best known tice led him to sing with strikers on
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention,
to older generations as a social picket lines, Civil Rights activists,
which reports that about 20 people a year are
and environmental activist and, environmental activists, and anyone
killed by cows in the United States. In some
most importantly, a folk singer. in need of strength and cheer. His
cases, the cows actually attack humans—
Next to Woody Guthrie, one of emphasis and desire was always to
ramming them, knocking them down, goring
his teach- sing with
them, trampling them and kicking them in
ers, Seeger people,
may be the
Now showing signs of his age, and not for
the head—resulting in fatal injuries to the
head and chest.
preeminent Seeger still retains his honesty, them.
Mother cows, like other animals, can be
folk humility, and wit...Pete Seeger There is a fiercely protective of their young, and dairy
singer, an beauty and
historic stands out as staunchly, humbly, strength in bulls, the report notes, are “especially pos-
sessive of their herd and occasionally disrupt
and sym- and optimistically American. song, and feeding, cleaning, and milking routines.”
bolic Seeger
The article, in the Morbidity and Mortal-
model for strove to
ity Weekly Report, discusses 21 cases in
folk singers present and future. bring that
which people were killed by cattle from
Alec Wilkinson’s biography out of peo-
2003 to 2007 in Iowa, Kansas, Missouri and
of Seeger, The Protest Singer, is a ple. He
Nebraska.
compact, personal, and moving still deter-
In 16 cases, “the animal was deemed to
story of Seeger life. When Wilkin- minedly
have purposefully struck the victim,” the
son asked permission from Seeger advocates
report states. In 5 other cases, people were
to write the book, Seeger, 90, re- peace in a
crushed against walls or by gates shoved by
plied that enough has been written time where
the cattle. Ten of the attacks were by bulls, 6
about him. Then again, if Wilkin- peace of
by cows and 5 by “multiple cattle.” A third
son could write a book that could all kinds is
of the deaths were caused by animals that
be read in one sitting, that might increas-
had been aggressive in the past.
be a worthy project. At 152 pages, ingly diffi-
All but one of the victims died from
this is perhaps slightly longer than cult to
Pete Seeger, American head or chest injuries; the last died after a
a one sitting book, but not much. find. Pete icon, activist, and singer.
cow knocked him down and a syringe in his
Still, in 152 pages, Wilkinson Seeger
pocket injected him with an antibiotic meant
captures Seeger, the man, with stands out
for the cow. In at least one case the animal
clear writing and keen observa- as staunchly, humbly, and optimisti-
attacked from behind, when the person was-
tions. Wilkinson visited Seeger in cally American. He is a man who
n’t looking. Older men with arthritis and
New York, where Seeger built his has persevered through difficult
hearing aids have the highest risk of being
family home from trees cleared times and can be an example of how
injured by livestock, the report says, proba-
around the land and scrap wood ride through life’s challenges and
bly because they don’t hear the animals
scavenged from around New York beauties and rise up singing either
charging and can’t move fast enough to get
City between performances. Now way.
out of the way.
showing signs of his age, Seeger
still retains his honesty, humility, Sudoku Solution
Bart Simpson © Matt Groening

and wit. The aged Seeger is im-

mediately recognizable as the stal-
wart defender of free association Write for the C.O.W., man!
who appeared before the House
Un-American Activities Commit- DWHSNews@gmail.com
tee in 1949. He defended his right
to sing with and for anyone and