Adoptive Families 1

T HE HA R D E S T J O B Y O U
Relational Support Resources WILL EVER LOVE

Currencies Foster Care & Adoption

 Positive verbal statements
 Listening
 Facial expressions
 Constant supervision
Support Groups
http://www.childwelfare.gov/nfcad/in
dex.cfm?event=searchFormAction&
nadID=2413&state=MA&atypeID=f
osterCare,careSupportGroup

 Clear roles, rules Adoption Education & Support

@ First Connections
 Service
978-287-0221
 Time together
 Caretaking
http://www.jri.org/Programs-
Parenting-and-Family-Support-First-
What
 Family Meetings Connections.php
Every
 Playfulness Adoptive Families
 Support networks Together/MSPCC
Adoptive
 Challenges 617-587-1563

 Changes
http://www.mspcc.org/site/PageServ Foster Parent
er
Cambridge Children & Family Needs
Services
617-876-4210 to
http://www.helpfamilies.org/home.p
hp Know
Home for Little Wanderers
Investing time,
energy, and money is all 617-232-8610 Developed by
part of the parenting Mara J. Briere, FLE
http://www.thehome.org/site/PageS
package…. Ah… the
erver in collaboration with
rewards!
parenting! Michael Leach and Diane Sullivan Leach
http://www.whfc.org/
 Adoptive Families 2

The Hardest Job You Will Ever Love

Adoptive Foster Parents are
those loving souls who have extra  Indestructible furniture
room in their hearts and homes  Health, education, and childcare costs
to provide a “permanent home” above and beyond “normal.”
for children who need, through
 Legal fees.
no fault of their own, new
families to participate and grow  Additional parent training.
in, What do YOU need to  Accept that your primary role is  Specialized child care and babysitting.
know? “Caretaker.”
Non-Monetary Costs:
Points to Ponder:  Protect the child’s confidentiality; his
 TIME & ENERGY! These are children
 Redefine your image of history is his and not yours to share.
with many issues and require great
“family” to match the Bringing this child into your home, into investments of time and energy!
challenge ahead with this
your lives, is a loving and courageous  Increasing your parenting skill set to
child who needs so much
endeavor. include basic child development,
from you.
behavior management, trauma &
 Provide a safe place for the Monetary Costs: attachment issues, special education.
child to heal.
In addition to the “usual” costs of child  Relationship with your partner will
 Learn how to manage hurtful change; expect this and join in the
rearing including clothes, housing and
behaviors. experience.
associated costs, food, recreational
 Respect the “shadow,” the activities, there are other costs.  Meetings, meetings, and more meetings.
child’s biological family.  Is the adoption subsidized? Is there SSI?
 Navigating systems.
 Any money from external community
sources is yours to spend on behalf of
the child and the family she now
Fun and joy are
belongs to.
the rewards for
both of you!
 Adoptive Families 3

Running head: ADOPTIVE FAMILIES

Adoptive Foster Families

Mara J. Briere

Concordia University – St. Paul

 Adoptive Families 4

What is the immediate or future problem that needs resolution? (The problem)

This past year, I had the pleasure of working with several pre-adoptive foster parents. They were all graduates of the

Massachusetts Approach to Partnership in Parenting (MAPP) training program (2009, DCF) which teaches potential pre-adoptive

parents about the difficulties faced by the children in the Department of Children and Family’s (DCF) custody. MAPP training also

covers how the prospective parents’ family life will be impacted. Skill development that is covered includes communication, building

self-esteem, child guidance and discipline. In spite of MAPP participation, which occurs prior to a child’s placement in the home, the

families I worked with were unprepared for the costs of adopting beyond those expected of taking a child into their homes. In addition

to providing skills training and community resources, case management required that parents were offered further information about

the real costs involved.

How the decision will be made. (The process)

In the beginning of working with these families, the focus of the work was on parenting skill development including clarifying

rules, roles, structure, and defining expectations of each family member. As the work unfolded in the weekly 2 hour sessions, it

became clear to this worker that the parents required additional information. They would say, “We did not realize how time

consuming all of this would be.” “I did not know that we would have to supervise the child 24/7!” “Getting a babysitter is a lot

harder than we thought since s/he has to be CORIed (criminal investigation background check).” “We did not know about the cost of

child care, especially therapeutic child care!” As such, this worker started gathering information and discussed it with the parents.

This included the relational currencies (Galvin, Bylund, & Brommel, 2008; pp. 122-125), non-monetary resources (Ferguson, 2007),
 Adoptive Families 5

and of course, monetary resources as outlined in the DCF Guide for Foster and PreAdoptive Parents (2003) and through the direct

experience of the pre-adoptive parents.

The choice or decision that was made. (The solution)

This worker integrated the rational problem-solving model as described by Vuchinich (1999) noting that the problems that

appeared were not emotionally-laden for the families. They wanted and needed information and resources and support as they were

developing their new family constellations. For example, one couple was surprised that the cost of their adoptive son’s therapeutic

after-school program was $12K, almost double that which non-therapeutic programs in Massachusetts cost. When informed that this

is a deduction that they could take on their taxes, and that their companies may have pre-tax incentive programs, they endeavored to

explore this with their accountant and work places.

How the choice will be implemented. (The decision implementation)

This worker organized information and resources for the families including the brochure in this paper. Recognizing the needs

for adoptive families to identify and assess their resources, this worker developed a plan to include this discussion in the family

stabilization work with the families. The brochure is a first step. Using the ABCX Model, as introduced by McKenry and Price

(2005), is another useful tool. Offering clients a regularly updated fact sheet is another way to implement information, resource, and

support services.
 Adoptive Families 6

References

Ferguson, S.J. (2007). Shifting the center: Understanding contemporary families, 3rd Edition. Boston: McGraw-Hill Higher

Education.

Galvin, K., Bylund, C., and Brommel, B. (2008). Family communication: Cohesion and change, 7th Edition. Boston: Pearson

Education, Inc.

Massachusetts Department of Children and Families, (2009). Becoming an adoptive parent. Retrieved on April 3, 2009, from

http://www.mass.gov/?pageID=eohhs2terminal&L=4&L0=Home&L1=Consumer&L2=Family+Services&L3=Adoption&sid=

Eeohhs2&b=terminalcontent&f=dss_c_ad_adoptparent&csid=Eeohhs2

Massachusetts Department of Social Services (2003). A guide for foster and pre-adoptive parents. Retrieved on April 3, 2009, from

http://www.mass.gov/Eeohhs2/docs/dss/c_fp_ap_guide.pdf

McKenry, P., & Price, S., (2005), Families & change: Coping with stressful events and transition, 3rd Edition. California: Sage

Publications, Inc.

Vuchinich, S. (1999). Problem solving in families: Research and practice. California: Sage Publications, Inc.