How (And Why) To Stay Positive

Travis Bradberry, Contributor I use emotional intelligence to boost leadership performance. Leadership 8/08/20 ! http://www.forbes.com/sites/travisbradberry/2 !"/ #/ #/$!#/

"hen faced #ith setbac$s and challenges, #e%ve all received the #ell&meaning advice to 'stay positive.( The greater the challenge, the more this glass&half&full #isdom can come across as )ollyannaish and unrealistic. It%s hard to find the motivation to focus on the positive #hen positivity seems li$e nothing more than #ishful thin$ing. The real obstacle to positivity is that our brains are hard&#ired to loo$ for and focus on threats. This survival mechanism served human$ind #ell bac$ #hen #e #ere hunters and gatherers, living each day #ith the very real threat of being $illed by someone or something in our immediate surroundings. That #as eons ago. Today, this mechanism breeds pessimism and negativity through the mind%s tendency to #ander until it finds a threat. These 'threats( magnify the perceived li$elihood that things are going*and/or are going to go*poorly. "hen the threat is real and lur$ing in the bushes do#n the path, this mechanism serves you #ell. "hen the threat is imagined and you spend t#o months convinced the pro+ect you%re #or$ing on is going to flop, this mechanism leaves you #ith a soured vie# of reality that #rea$s havoc in your life. Positivity and %o&r Hea'th )essimism is trouble because it%s bad for your health. ,umerous studies have sho#n that optimists are physically and psychologically healthier than pessimists. -artin .eligman at the /niversity of )ennsylvania has conducted e0tensive research on the topic, and often e0plores an important distinction*#hether people consider their failures the product of personal deficits beyond their control or mista$es they can fi0 #ith effort. .eligman finds much higher rates of depression in people #ho pessimistically attribute their failures to personal deficits. 1ptimists, ho#ever, treat failure as a learning e0perience and believe they can do better in the future. To e0amine physical health, .eligman #or$ed #ith researchers from 2artmouth and the /niversity of -ichigan on a study that follo#ed people from age 23 to 43 to see ho# their levels of pessimism or optimism influenced or correlated #ith their overall health. The researchers found that pessimists% health deteriorated far more rapidly as they aged. .eligman%s findings are similar to research conducted by the -ayo Clinic that found optimists have

lo#er levels of cardiovascular disease and longer life&spans. 5lthough the e0act mechanism through #hich pessimism affects health hasn%t been identified, researchers at 6ale and the /niversity of Colorado found that pessimism is associated #ith a #ea$ened immune response to tumors and infection. 7esearchers from the /niversities of 8entuc$y and 9ouisville #ent so far as to in+ect optimists and pessimists #ith a virus to measure their immune response. The researchers found optimists had a significantly stronger immune response than pessimists. Positivity and Performance 8eeping a positive attitude isn%t +ust good for your health. -artin .eligman has also studied the connection bet#een positivity and performance. In one study in particular, he measured the degree to #hich insurance salespeople #ere optimistic or pessimistic in their #or$, including #hether they attributed failed sales to personal deficits beyond their control or circumstances they could improve #ith effort. 1ptimistic salespeople sold !:; more policies than pessimists, #ho #ere t#ice as li$ely to leave the company during their first year of employment. .eligman has studied positivity more than anyone, and he believes in the ability to turn pessimistic thoughts and tendencies around #ith simple effort and $no#&ho#. But .eligman doesn%t +ust believe this. <is research sho#s that people can transform a tendency to#ard pessimistic thin$ing into positive thin$ing through simple techni=ues that create lasting changes in behavior long after they are discovered. 6our brain +ust needs a little help to defeat its negative inner voice. To that end, I%ve provided t#o simple steps for you to follo# that #ill begin training your brain to focus on the positive. Step !. Separate (act from (iction The first step in learning to focus on the positive re=uires $no#ing ho# to stop negative self&tal$ in its trac$s. The more you ruminate on negative thoughts, the more po#er you give them. -ost of our negative thoughts are +ust that *thoughts, not facts. "hen you find yourself believing the negative and pessimistic things your inner voice says, it%s time to stop and #rite them do#n. 9iterally stop #hat you%re doing and #rite do#n #hat you%re thin$ing. 1nce you%ve ta$en a moment to slo# do#n the negative momentum of your thoughts, you #ill be more rational and clear&headed in evaluating their veracity. >valuate these statements to see if they%re factual. 6ou can bet the statements aren%t true any time you see #ords li$e never, always, worst, ever, etc. 2o you really always lose your $eys? 1f course not. )erhaps you forget them fre=uently, but most days you do remember them. 5re you never going to find a solution to your problem? If you really are that stuc$, maybe you%ve been resisting as$ing for help. 1r if it really is an intractable problem, then #hy are you #asting your time beating your head against the #all? If your statements still loo$ li$e facts once they%re on paper, ta$e them to a friend or colleague you can trust, and see if he or she agrees #ith you. Then the truth #ill surely come out. "hen it feels li$e something always or never happens, this is +ust your brain%s natural threat tendency inflating the perceived fre=uency or severity of an event. Identifying and labeling your thoughts as thoughts by separating them from the facts #ill help you escape the cycle of negativity and move to#ard a positive ne# outloo$. Step 2. )dentify a Positive ,o# that you have a tool to snap yourself out of self&defeating, negative thoughts, it%s time to help your brain learn #hat you #ant it to focus on*the positive. This #ill come naturally after some practice, but first you have to give

your #andering brain a little help by consciously selecting something positive to thin$ about. 5ny positive thought #ill do to refocus your brain%s attention. "hen things are going #ell, and your mood is good, this is relatively easy. "hen things are going poorly, and your mind is flooded #ith negative thoughts, this can be a challenge. In these moments, thin$ about your day and identify one positive thing that happened, no matter ho# small. If you can%t thin$ of something from the current day, reflect on the previous day or even the previous #ee$. 1r perhaps there is an e0citing event you are loo$ing for#ard to that you can focus your attention on. The point here is you must have something positive that you%re ready to shift your attention to #hen your thoughts turn negative. In step one, you learned ho# to strip the po#er from negative thoughts by separating fact from fiction. .tep t#o is to replace the negative #ith a positive. 1nce you have identified a positive thought, dra# your attention to that thought each time you find yourself d#elling on the negative. If that proves difficult, you can repeat the process of #riting do#n the negative thoughts to discredit their validity, and then allo# yourself to freely en+oy positive thoughts. I reali@e these t#o steps sound incredibly basic, but they have tremendous po#er because they retrain your brain to have a positive focus. These steps brea$ old habits, if you force yourself to use them. Aiven the mind%s natural tendency to #ander to#ard negative thoughts, #e can all use a little help #ith staying positive. )ut these steps to use, and you%ll reap the physical, mental, and performance benefits that come #ith a positive frame of mind.

Travis Bradberry, Contributor I use emotional intelligence to boost leadership performance.

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