KGT Training

Module 4

Two Essential Skills Encouragement and Discipline

Paul gave Timothy, his second line leader, these instructions: 2 Tim 4:1-2 (NIV) 1 In the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who will judge the living and the dead, and in view of his appearing and his kingdom, I give you this charge: 2 Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage--with great patience and careful instruction.

I. How to Encourage fellow believers:

1. Encouragement is useful to STRENGTHEN INDIVIDUALS To face the temptation to GIVE UP and return to the lie of sin and selfishness Hebrews 3:12-14 See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. 13 But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. 14 We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly till the end the confidence we had at first. To understand trials 1 Thessalonians 3:2-3 We sent Timothy, who is our brother and God's fellow worker in spreading the gospel of Christ, to strengthen and encourage you in your faith, 3 so that no one would be unsettled by these trials.

2. Encouragement helps to SPUR BELIEVERS ON TOWARD THE GOAL Hebrews 10:23-25 Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. 24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. 25 Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Spurs were attached to the back of the shoes of a rider and were used to make the horse move forward faster it could be a painful encouragement Encouragement moves people forward helps them take their next step toward God Helps them find and fulfill purpose

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Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Speak according to their needs Encouragement is not empty words of flattery or praise. It benefits those who listen. It focuses on specific areas of their lives, specific needs, specific strengths.

3. Encouragement is a tool for BUILDING UP THE CHURCH 1 Corinthians 14:12 So it is with you. Since you are eager to have spiritual gifts, try to excel in gifts that build up the church. Excel in the gifts that build up the church Encouragement can be collective encourage people to use their gifts to help specific people or in specific circumstances Encourage two people to work together, to support one-another Encourage the group by praising them for what they are doing well Challenge the group to press on toward the goal, to take up new opportunities

4. Small Group Exercise: Form groups of 3 people in each group. One share a difficulty faced in ministry or family in the last month. The other two give encouragement In turn each one shares and the other two encourage

One member of the small group shares a difficulty or concern The two others ask questions and then listen carefully James 1:19 My dear friends, you should be quick to listen and slow to speak or to get angry. God gave us two ears and one mouth. Speak encouragement that is specific to the problem or the person. Use THE RIGHT WORDS. You will know that you have used the right words when it brings cheer (courage). Isaiah 50:4,5 The LORD God gives me the right words to encourage the weary. Each morning he awakens me eager to learn his teaching; he made me willing to listen and not rebel or run away. Proverbs 12:25 Worry is a heavy burden, but a kind word always brings cheer. With practice, encouragement should become a habit MAKE IT A DAILY HABIT

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5. Assignment: Write down three names of people in your church What good things have you noticed Find an opportunity to speak encouragement to them this week Make a SELF-DISCIPLINED effort to speak some word of encouragement to EACH MEMBER OF THE CHURCH within the next 30 days. Watch what happens the more you encourage others, the more they begin to speak words of encouragement to one-another. (the opposite is also true the more you criticize and complain, the more your church members will criticize and complain)

6. Encouragement arises out of Thankfulness or Gratitude: Colossians 2:6,7 So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, 7 rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness. Encouragement comes from the OVERFLOW of THANKFULNESS Only when you have gratitude in your heart toward God will you be able to act with graciousness toward others. Practice prayers of thankfulness TELL GOD FIRST why you are thankful for each person in your church, then go to each one of them and tell them also.

PRINCIPLES FOR ENCOURAGEMENT 1. Lay the foundation in a good relationship Proverbs 27:6 you can trust a friend who corrects you, but kisses from an enemy are nothing but lies. Illus: a puppy comes to you; if you keep on scolding and shouting it wont come to you, even when you call also. YOU CANNOT TRAIN A STRANGE DOG A dog responds better to gentle training than to a beating. 2. Give encouragement consistently over time The devil, our enemy tempts, discourages, and accuses constantly. Should we speak any less the words that strengthen and build-up? Isaiah 58:11 (ASV)

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and Jehovah will guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in dry places, and make strong thy bones; and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not. 3. Make encouragement personal, and TIMELY speak according to the need Proverbs 15:23 a man has joy in the answer of his mouth: and a word at the right time, how good it is! Proverbs 25:11 a word at the right time is like apples of gold in a network of silver. Know when people will need to be encouraged Often people are attacked by doubt after then have stepped up to do ministry. After teaching a very fine lesson, the teacher may feel discouraged by one or two people who were not listening. Just when people seem to be most strong, they may actually inside feel most insecure. In times of sickness or trials When being asked to minister/lead/serve in a way that they have not done before.

4. Where possible, also offer public encouragement Proverbs 31:31 Give her credits for what her hands have made: let her be praised by her works in the public place. Careful encouragement in front of others Careful to create neither pride nor jealousy. Public to serve as an example to others.

II. How to DISCIPLINE fellow believers

1. Correction is NORMAL Proverbs 6:20-23 20 My son, keep your father's commands and do not forsake your mother's teaching. 21 Bind them upon your heart forever; fasten them around your neck. 22 When you walk, they will guide you; when you sleep, they will watch over you; when you awake, they will speak to you. 23 For these commands are a lamp, this teaching is a light, and the corrections of discipline are the way to life, How one generation helps the next A way of life

KGT Training Examples: Pruned tree bears fruit Language teacher must continually correct the new student Training aggression out of the puppy

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2. Correction is painful but only for a time Hebrews 12:7-11 7 Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? 8 If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. 9 Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! 10 Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. 11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Endure hardship as discipline Painful for a time

3. Correction sought by the wise Proverbs 12:1 Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid. Share with the church members from the beginning that correction is a good thing Commit yourself to them that you will help them avoid error

4. It is life saving given for THEIR BENEFIT not our own self-defense Proverbs 10:17 Accept correction, and you will find life; reject correction, and you will miss the road. Proverbs 15:31,32 31 He who listens to a life-giving rebuke will be at home among the wise. 32 He who ignores discipline despises himself, but whoever heeds correction gains understanding. Warning about driving fast / motorcycle at high speed See a neighbors house on fire you will warn them See a thief trying to steal from them you will warn them

5. Goal: To Restore return someone to a correct standing with God

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Galatians 6:1 Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Proverbs 15:1 By a soft answer wrath is turned away, but a bitter word is a cause of angry feelings. Goal is not to drive them out but to help them grow

6. Use Scriptural means and scriptural models

II Tim 3:16 (Scripture as THE MEANS) All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, 17 so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. Call them back to the WORD Equip them for good works

Mathew 18: 15-20

(Scriptural Model)

Continuing in Sin results in being cut off:

I Corinthians 5:1-13

II Corinthians 2:4-8

Restoration

Exercise

3 situations, where correction is required

KGT Training 1. False teachings destructive teachings Mathew 7:15 / 2 Peter 2:1-3 Spoils the relationship with God

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2. False arguments - 1Timothy 6:3-5 / 2Tim 2:14,23 Spoils the relationship with fellow believers Women short hair or long hair / covering the head

Practical: Prepare a list of the above two categories of things 3. Immorality Drugs / pornography / sexual / gambling / alcohol / Spoils the relationship with oneself and family

III. WITH GREAT PATIENCE

Paul told Timothy to correct and encourage with great patience 1. Make both encouragement and discipline a daily habit 2. Small corrections rather than big confrontations If you correct people in small but important things, you avoid saving all the little things up to become one ugly confrontation. Think of driving a car. Better to make small corrections in the steering to stay on the road than to wait until the car goes completely off the road and then jerk the wheel sharply to make the correction. A sharp correction is likely to throw the vehicle OUT OF CONTROL. 3. The 4 to 1 rule (four parts of encouragement to each one part of correction) You should find more opportunities to speak encouragement than to speak correction The Emotional Bank Account: Some writers on management have compared a relationship to a bank-account. Every time you encourage you make a deposit in the account with another person. Any time you confront or correct them, you make a withdrawal from the account. If you only criticized and do not build-up, your account will soon be overdrawn or bankrupt. The other person will not listen to you if your account is overdrawn. It will become a closed account. 4. Go for Gold

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To get an ounce of gold, you have to move more than a ton of dirt. But when you go into the mine, you go in looking for gold not for dirt. Philippians 4:8,9 8 And now, dear brothers and sisters, let me say one more thing as I close this letter. Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. 9 Keep putting into practice all you learned from me and heard from me and saw me doing, and the God of peace will be with you. Look for the good in people, the progress they have made things WORTHY OF PRAISE Refine (correct and discipline) in order to end up with gold Show people that your desire is that they become gold

5. The importance of integrity and a good example. Philippians 4:9 above . 9 Keep putting into practice all you learned from me and heard from me and saw me doing, and the God of peace will be with you. You cannot say, Do as I say and not as I do If your life is not under Gods discipline you will have NO EFFECT in trying to encourage or discipline others.