They Met on

Valentine's Day

Cornerstones
Of
True Love, Marriage & A Happy Home
Michael Bimbo Ojelabi
DEDICATION

This little treatise is written to the glory of God

The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit.

Greater love hath no man than this,

that a man lay down his life for his
friends.
(John 15:13)

This little book, They Met on Valentine's Day -Cornerstones of True

Love, Marriage & A Happy Home, is dedicated to all the people who are in

true loving relationship without dissimulation.

The book is dedicated with the heartfelt prayer that all such people may fulfil

the purpose of God in their lives through genuine love, true affection, truthful

friendship and partnership, and, most especially, in holy matrimony.

Specially written for Precy, Tressa, and Christine.

Michael Bimbo Ojelabi .

Preface

God is Love.
Beloved, let us love one another:

For love is of God;

And every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.

He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love. (1Jn 4:7,8).

Love is ideally a strong feeling of affection with emotion and concern, between
husband and wife, between parents and their offspring, between friends and
close acquaintances, and between faithful believers and God.

By the nature of man, our intense affection for another person is based on the
fulfilment of some conditions by the other party. This implies that humans in
general love conditionally.

By human nature, we love someone because they fulfil a required condition or

meet a need or standard in our life or to an expected circumstance before we can
love them.

I love you because you love me and understand me, because you support me and
assist me, because you trust me and refuse to doubt me, and most probably
because you make me feel good whenever we are together.

I may also love you just for who you are, what you mean to me, and because of a
lot of reasons that makes me accept and appreciate you.

The Bible speaks very much about God and His great love for mankind, despite
our great shortcomings. As the Creator and Maker of man and his universe or
environment, God is also the true embodiment of life and love.

As the standard of truth and the full measure of love, Gods love for man is
without condition. He loves man to give him every good thing essential for his joy
and happiness in the Garden of Eden. It was out of love that he created man with
a freedom of choice, rather than give him an existence like a zombies.
 When man misused his freedom of choice, and fell into sin, God drove sinful and
fallen Adam and Eve from Paradise, but, out of immeasurable love, He also
created alternative plan to save the world and redeem humanity from iniquity,
back into His marvellous love and light.

Our God is LOVE in person, and not just TRUTH and WORD personified. For God
so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever
believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. (Joh 3:16).

All the people who taste of the sacrificial death of Jesus Christ on the cross do not
remain the same any more, but are regenerated and reformed to become sons
and daughters of God.

Such people are called out of sinful life into holiness, they stopped living the life
of sinfulness and iniquity and begin to live a new life of righteousness by the grace
of God.

This spiritual transformation through the death and resurrection of Christ makes
the erstwhile sinner, who now has a current experience of salvation, become a
genuine Christian, member of the body of Christ popularly called the church.

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are

passed away; behold, all things are become new. (2Co 5:17).
A wonderful feature and characteristic of genuine Christians and all true believers
in Christ is the ability to have the love-nature of God in them. As transformed
children of God, genuine Christians are endowed to manifest practical love
amongst the brethren and towards unbelievers.

Genuine Christians have the capacity to love the very way The Lord command us
to love. Such kind love goes beyond all the boundaries of race, status, nationality,
age, culture and tribe. As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you:
continue ye in my love. This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as
I have loved you. (Joh 15:9,12).

While this kind of love and loving remains a mystery to the sinful world and
material men and women, it is, nevertheless, the expected standard of true love.

Gods love is unconditional.

Gods love is sacrificial.

Gods love is eternal

Gods love is enduring.

Jesus Christ stirred up the hearts of believers to practically get into the life of
loving one another selflessly, unconditionally, and wholeheartedly. It is practiced
and lived out of goodwill, confidence, and mutual confidence.

On the other hand, worldly love is selfish, suspicious, envious, and demonstrated
in malice and much untruth.

The Greek language and philosophy actually had four words to describe what we
call love, and they are Eros, Phileo, Storge, and Agape.

Eros - romantic love

Phileo - enjoyment, fondness, friendship

Storge - family loyalty

Agape - unconditional love with that does not bend or wane.

Love is true when it is selfless, kind, patient, and unpretentious. You will know
that love is real when it is not boastful, and when it comes with goodwill.

Profoundly tender, compassionate, affectionate, emotional, and passionate, love

between a man and his wife brings strong affection for each other, radiates
unlimited sympathy and total acceptance by a mother to her child, and brings a
believer into total consecration and submission to his God.

Love radiates feelings of warm personal attachment for better understanding,

closeness, mutual honour, and reciprocal respect between two people in intimate
relationship and lovely affection with one another.

God created human beings in His own image. Therefore, God has placed the
potentials to know Him, to understand God, and to display or demonstrate some
of His vast and complex designs within every man.

The Fall of Man has robbed us of most of these virtues which could only be
regained through salvation and genuine regeneration in Christ. We generally think
we are made to be fair and just, to love, to be compassionate, to be faithful,
truthful, kind, and patient just because our human nature reflects some attributes
of God in a miniature.

However, no matter how hard we try, all unregenerate humans cannot love the
way God wants us to love, and cannot live the way God wants us to live until
Christ comes into the life.

Whosoever shall confess that Jesus is the Son of God, God dwelleth in
him, and he in God.
And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us.
God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God,
and God in him. (1Jn 4:15,16).
Thus, your love and loving must be god-type, for it to be true. There is no fear in
love; but perfect love casts out fear: because fear has to do with punishment. He
that fears is not made perfect in love. (1 Joh 4:18).

Michael Bimbo Ojelabi

Lagos. February 2016.
 1. Love

Love and the Nature of Man

The initial attraction between a man and a woman is expected to lead to love and
lifetime relationship through intimacy, unfeigned acceptance, and mutual care.

Human love, intimacy and genuine affection are the wonderful dreams and goals
of romance, but when sexuality becomes the platform on which friendship,
relationship and romance is set, the relationship is no longer made to glorify God
but self, and may not last.

This is the bane of humanity and the loss of the purpose for which man was made
in the first instance. Man was made to love God and worship Him through and
true. He is also created to love fellow mankind without dissimulation or hypocrisy.

Satan promotes sinful lust as love, and presents inordinate affection as true
friendship. This is the way of the world, ever in contrast with the path of God, and
cannot give peace and joy to man, no matter how he tries.

Lust The Luciferase Potion

To have the knowledge of where sin began, we must realize that God created
every creature, man and angels, even nature in its entirety, perfect and good.

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from
the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.

Of his own will begat he us with the word of truth, that we should be a kind of
firstfruits of his creatures. (Jas 1:17,18).

Both man and the angels have the freedom to choose to live according to the
commandment of God or decide to live contrariwise. Each choice has its good
results and bad outcomes. Lucifer chose sin over Gods good and perfect gifts.

He equally dangle lusts and affection for sin before some of his fellow angels in
Heaven, and those who chose to follow him equally fell with him.

How did Lucifer convince those fellow angels?

What did he present unto them?

To win the heart of his fellow angels, Lucifer sold his wise plan and lust to them.
For thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne
above the stars of God: I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the
sides of the north: I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the
most High. (Isa 14:13,14).

Love is an intense feeling of affection toward another person. It is also a great

feeling and demonstration of egotism and pride in oneself.

Lucifers sin of pride was an act of complete egoism and pure malice in that he
loved himself to the exclusion all else, and without the excuse of ignorance, error,
passion or weakness of will.

Lucifer loved himself so much to the point of becoming so audacious to attempt

to take over the government and the very throne of God in Heaven. He sold the
same idea of greed and egoism to angels who sympathised with him, and drew
them along into sinfulness against God.

Thomas Aquinas wrote, "Greed is a sin against God, just as all mortal sins, in as
much as man condemns things eternal for the sake of temporal things."

Though Dante's Purgatory is a fallacy because, And as it is appointed unto men

once to die, but after this the judgment: (Heb 9:27), he was able to imagine in his
own mind that the avaricious penitents were judged and punished, bound and
laid face down on the ground for having concentrated too much on earthly
thoughts.

Legend stories abound with historical accounts that greed is always having two
sharply contrasting aspects or characteristics, greed may be to the shrewd an
engine of progress, but also the cause of their collapse. Greed is insincere and
deceitful, but also very appealing and attractive to the perishing.

Egoism is the habit of too much love of self, valuing everything only in reference
to one's personal interest. This is selfishness, as opposed to altruism.

Lucifers too much love of self, his self-interest and self-promotion is the actual
motive of all his calculations to desire the reins of power in Heaven, despite being
created as the 'day star,' the 'son of the morning,' the "shining one, the light
bearer", the "bringer of dawn", the morning star, and one of the greatest angels.
As a result of his greediness and lust for power much more than he deserve,
Lucifer was cast out of Heaven. And there was war in heaven: Michael and his
angels fought against the dragon; and the dragon fought and his angels,

And prevailed not; neither was their place found any more in heaven.

And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan,
which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels
were cast out with him. (Rev 12:7-9).

Cast out of Heaven in serious defeat and disgrace, Lucifer entered our planet as
Satan the devil, and went all out to beguile Eve, deceiving her and Adam to sin
against God.

The representation of Satan as a serpent made his cunning and crafty approach to
Eve effective in deceiving her into disobedience. Satan effectively laid the
groundwork.

With an outright contradiction of the commandments of God, Satan drew eve

into an unholy discussion and planted the seed of doubt about Gods Word into
her mind. Now he moves in for the kill.

i. In Satans direct challenge, he tries to get Eve to doubt the goodness of

God. If God lies to her, how can He be good?

ii. In Satans direct challenge, he tries to get Eve to doubt the badness of
sin. If this fruit is something good for her, why doesnt God want her to
have it?

iii. Satan wants us to see sin as something good which God doesnt want us
to have. His main lie to us is sin is not bad and God is not good.

iv. Since he lost his place in heaven, it is Satans stock in trade to appeal to
our lust of the flesh, and deceive us into accepting the lie that it could be
fun to disobey His command.

Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the
world, the love of the Father is not in him.

For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the
pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.
And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of
God abideth for ever. (1Jn 2:15-17).

1. Eve wandered alone around the forbidden ground and object the tree of
knowledge of good and evil.

2. Satan plunged on her to have a discussion, which Eve was supposed to

instantly rebuke.

3. When she failed to rebuke Satan and drive him away, the enemy, appearing
as friendly and concerned, effectively laid the groundwork to plunge Eve
into disobeying God. And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not
surely die: For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your
eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.
(Gen 3:4,5).

4. When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant
to the eyes, and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and
ate. She also gave her husband to eat.

Egoism is the principle that individual self-interest is the valid end of all actions.
The original sin of the first human couple in the Garden of Eden was the result of
greed.

When Satan laces untruth with some facts and figures, gullible men and greedy
humans would fall flat for his temptation, and would walk right into his trap. Had
Eve not been willing to disobey God, she would have not:

1. She would not find herself in grounds forbidden by God,

2. She would never entertain dangerous dialogue with Satan, and

3. She would never find it funny trying to rationalise what God had condemned.

Misled by her lust for the forbidden fruit and selfish-love with egoism to become
like gods, Eve followed the advice of Satan.

She took the forbidden fruit to her husband, Adam, whom, without questioning
her rationale for disobeying Gods commandment, must have taken and eaten the
forbidden fruit in demonstration of his romantic love for his wife, not wanting her
to be alone in the fall, and took and ate of the fruit out of a romantic impulse.

Truly, the eyes of Adam and Eve became opened, but their eyes were actually
opened to their own sin and rebellion, leading to their loss of Paradise.

1. Eve gave in to the lust of the flesh (saw that it was good for food).
2. Eve gave in to the lust of the eyes (pleasant to the eyes).
3. Eve gave in to the pride of life (desirable to make one wise).

Love is a profound and caring attraction that forms emotional attachment but
keep judgement in good shape and godly obedience in the balance.

Lust, on the other hand, is a strong desire that is based on physical attraction,
most often of a sexual nature, selfish and egotist, but could transform into deep
romantic love affair after some time.

Between Eve and Adam is the power of choice in a loving relationship. Adam
willingly disobeyed God, making a preference to eat the forbidden fruit with his
wife rather than take a stand not to disobey God.

In the end, Adam complained to God for giving him a woman that led him into sin.
And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me
of the tree, and I did eat.

And the LORD God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And
the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat. (Gen 3:12,13).

However, God judged Adam,

1. because of his choice

2. because of his decision to listen to his wife rather than obey God, and

3. because he also decided to take the fruit from his wife and eat it.

When Satan denies the word of God by saying, You will not surely die , he was
using his trademark style of lying and misrepresentation to confuse and deceive
Eve.
When Satan implied that God had not told our first family the whole truth, Eve
was expected to counter back or rebuke him, but she believed Satan and distrust
God. Obviously, she desire to become what God has not designed for her to be.

God is love, and there is a purpose for which God intends love to achieve or attain
in the lives of men. No matter how hard we try to love under the influence of
Satan, we can never obtain the results desired by God.

Eve demonstrated greed, lust, and love of self above her husband, and above
God, who has given her life and all the good things in the Garden. To display her
lack of love for God, Eve broke the only proviso of restraint in the Garden. She
defiantly chose to eat the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil.

When Adam decided to listen to his wife rather than strictly adhere to the
commandment of God, he was equally making a decision that would eventually
lead to his eating the forbidden fruit.

And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden
thou mayest freely eat: But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou
shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.
(Gen 2:16, 17).

Clear distrust of the unambiguous commandment of God led the Adam and Eve to
express their lack of love for God. If a man love me, he will keep my words:

Human longing and craving for some form of self- freedom, personal liberty, and a
false kind of independence normally excites a desire to do what is forbidden, to
enjoy a moment of sinfulness and iniquity, and makes us willing to tread on
prohibited grounds.

In a seemingly love relationship driven by lust, the senses are under the direct
influences of adrenalin, when the sex hormones are raging, and the mind is
goaded into accepting the opposite sex in the eye of who he is supposed to be
and need to be, rather than seeing the real person with his flaws and her failings.

To be in love has room to lustfully seek the one we love, or crave to be with the
loved one, it takes an appreciable length of time for lust by itself to lead to love.

Pure lust is based solely on physical attraction and fantasy which would
eventually wane and dissipate when the real person surfaces. On the other
hand, true love readily accepts and accommodates in truth and in genuine
affection.

As long as romance is set on the podium of physical attraction, sexual pleasure,

and material gratification, the relationship is bound to hit the rocks when those
parameters wanes and fades.

Beautiful ladies and handsome men for their looks, their pranks, and their
resources attracts and displays lusts and untrue affection just for romance and
sexuality, only to destroy their victims and leave them dejected, distraught, and
heartbroken.

What a strange illusion it is to suppose that beauty is goodness, and what terrible
absurdity to suggest that handsomeness and riches are all there is about a good
man. Have you not heard, and do you not know, that beauty fades and riches
certainly make themselves wings?

It is human nature to be enthralled by the consciousness of loving somebody, and

become captivated in the euphoria, warmth, and richness to life for being loved
back in return, but do not count on it if God is not in it.

To love is to receive warmth and richness of life just because of the intimate
relationship between two loved ones.

Love has no room for hatred. It is kind and tender towards the one she love. Full
of tender affection, love is committed and dedicated, yet never seek its own nor
take advantage of his partner.
I met a lady in the meads,
Full beautiful, a fairys child;
Her hair was long, her foot was light,
And her eyes were wild.

I made a garland for her head,

And bracelets too, and fragrant zone;
She looked at me as she did love,
And made sweet moan

I set her on my pacing steed,

And nothing else saw all day long,
For sidelong would she bend, and sing
A faerys song.
She found me roots of relish sweet,
And honey wild, and manna-dew,
And sure in language strange she said
I love thee true.

She took me to her Elfin grot,

And there she wept and sighed full sore,
And there I shut her wild, wild eyes
With kisses four.

And there she lulld me asleep,

And there I dreamedAh! woe betide!
The latest dream I ever dreamt
On the cold hill side.

I saw pale kings and princes too,

Pale warriors, death-pale were they all;
They criedLa Belle Dame sans Merci
Hath thee in thrall!

I saw their starved lips in the gloam,

With horrid warning gapd wide,
And I awoke and found me here,
On the cold hills side.

And this is why I sojourn here,

Alone and palely loitering,
Though the sedge is withered from the lake,
And no birds sing.
(Culled from John Keats "La Belle Dame sans Merci", or "The Beautiful Lady Without Mercy").
 2. Four Kinds of Love

"Love ceases to be a demon only when he ceases to be a god,

And begins to be a demon the moment he begins to be a god". (M. Denis de

Rougemont).

There is no way you can ignore the issue or topic of love because of the enormous
and unavoidable role it plays in each single life, within the cultures, and in the
society as a whole.

Whatever situation, social status, culture and tribe each human being may find
himself, he would find every means to be accepted, to be loved, and to love
someone. People value love and recognize that love will shape what is good and
true.

Taking a cue from the mix-up in the context of Adam and Eve, we need to better
understand what love is, what amounts to love, and how best to love and be
loved.

You cannot do love, but you can understand it in order to know how to show it
better. It is generally thought that love revolves around the heart, love actually
occurs in the brain, because it is the brain that generates essential chemical
signals to make people understand love.

Love is very central and crucial to human life and his social aspects, it thus
transcend faith, religion, ethics, and the very nature of man. God is love. Only
people who are godly could love adequately and truly, because not all what men
call love is true love.

The challenge of man has always remained the willingness and inordinate desire
to love without God, and to want to love in contrast to the way of God. It is a rat
race.

The Four Loves that are prominent in Greek thought are Eros, Storge, Agape and
Philia.

Storge: familial or affectionate love.

Philial: friendship
Eros: romantic love.

Agape: spiritual love.

God is love, and, in the words of C. S. Lewis, it is always the smallness of our love
for God, not the greatness of our love for man, that constitutes the inordinacy. If
ye love me, keep my commandments. (Joh 14:15).

Eros, Storge, Agape and Philia are four general descriptions of love types by the
Greek. Often, statements or arguments concerning love, its nature and role in
human life, for example connect to the theories of philosophy, psychology,
biology and anatomy.

Love is equally mostly compared with, or examined in the context of, the
philosophies of sex and gender, as well as body and intentionality.

While the task of a philosophy of love is to present the appropriate issues in a

cogent manner, drawing on relevant theories of human nature, desire, ethics, and
so on, the central issue in genuine love is between man and his God.

There exists very great misconception about love between the sexes. Humans
mostly misplace illicit carnal knowledge and sexual gratification as love. Most of
what he regards as love and intimate affection lies in sheer romance and lustful
affection.

However, real love was demonstrated by Our Lord Jesus Christ, who came to this
world to suffer and die for lost sinners, who genuinely sought after lost sinners to
save them from sin and redeem them into His kingdom and a glorious eternity.

The way to love is to bring hope to the lost and the hopeless, and be in intimate
relationship with your spouse just the way Christ loves the Church and gave
Himself for it.

1. Romeo and Juliet

In Romeo and Juliet, difficult challenges that usually confront young lovers were
brought to the fore by respected English playwright, William Shakespeare.

Romeo and Juliet fell in love at first sight, and each belonged to two feuding
families, therefore facing strong backlash from their respective families from the
onset.
We often discuss highly of Romeo and Juliet as the epitome of romantic love, but
one should not fail to notice the deception of Romeo to abandon his first love,
Rosaline, for Juliet.

True love suffers long. Why the haste by Romeo and Juliet to marry as quickly as
they met each other?

Why the rash by a friar to consummate the wedding in secrecy?

God is love, and He commands not to kill but to make peace. The legend is full of
animosity, deception, lies, half-truths, and untruth, with much killings and
bloodshed.

The episode is completely ungodly, and definitely devoid of the love that comes
from God. It cannot be the exemplary pattern of true love. It is the lustful way of
the world to get what you want at all cost, even to the point of committing
suicide.

At the end of it all, the feuding families had many promising youths killed just
because of simple misunderstandings.

Romeos mother died untimely of grief after hearing of her son's exile.

Though the warring families were reconciled by the Prince, but it was rather too
late. In his words, "For never was a story of more woe than this of Juliet and her
Romeo."

2. Cleopatra

To the media and the lustful world, Cleopatra is an embodiment of love, but how
far is that from the truth.

Fortunate to be the daughter of Ptolemy XII, ruler of ancient Egypt, Cleopatra

ascended to the throne of Egypt when she was barely 18 years old. According to
Egyptian pagan tradition, Cleopatra was married to his junior brother so that the
two could jointly rule Egypt after the death of their father.

However, restless and overambitious Cleopatra plotted to rig out her young
brother/husband out of power so that she could rule alone. Her plot was
discovered, and she was caught, and exiled.
Conscious of her beauty and daring moves, Cleopatra found her way into the
presence of Julius Caesar, who was in Alexandria in hot pursuit of his arch-enemy
Pompeii.

Satisfied that Pompeii had been slaughtered in Egypt, Caesar failed to quickly
return to Rome because Cleopatra was cunningly brought to his presence in
Alexandria, and the Roman general could not take his eyes and mind off the
beautiful and intelligent lady.

Caesar was instantly overwhelmed by the stunning beauty of a 22-year old

Cleopatra. The roman General Julius recognized the potential of being lovers and
allies with Cleopatra, reasoning that both Rome and Egypt needs intellectual
leaders and a relationship in love and political union within leaders of influential
and powerful nations.

Caesar and Cleopatra immediately fell in love. Julius Caesar schemed the killing of
Cleopatras brother and husband, Ptolemy XIII, and hurriedly married the
beautiful lady. Nevertheless, Cleopatra still had to marry another brother,
Ptolemy XIV, in order to govern Egypt.

A love-child, Caesareon, was eventually born for Caesar by Cleopatra, but Romans
loathed Cleopatra and her child, and refused to formalise that marriage.

Not long after his return to Rome, Caesar was assassinated at the senate, and
Cleopatra and Caesareon returned to Egypt in a hurry.

Cleopatra as an embodiment of beauty, ambition, and diplomacy, quickly

gathered herself together and trudged ahead in proper management of the
economy and people of Egypt.

Mark-Antony was a close ally of Julius Caesar, who became part of the second
Triumvirate that ruled Rome immediately after the assassination of Julius Caesar
in March 44 BC. He was part of the Triumvirate which ruled Rome along with
Octavian immediately after the assassination of Julius Caesar.

By 41 BC Antony and Octavian (Augustus) shared the leadership of Rome, dividing

the state into two regions. The western portion including Spain and Gaul was
ruled by Octavian, while the eastern region including Greece and the Middle East
was ruled by Antony.
In need of money to prosecute his war campaigns in the Middle Eastern phalanx,
Mark-Antony looked unto Cleopatra, who was then the de-facto ruler of Egypt
and the richest woman in the world.

As a man who cherish the company of beautiful ladies, Mark-Antony was easily
seduced by Cleopatra during their first encounter in Tarsus, as she was looking up
to Rome to assert her singular authority in Egypt.

Rather than collect needed cash from Cleopatra and speed off to the battle,
Mark-Antony was swept off his feet from Tarsus to Alexandria where he
squandered his precious time as he began an affair with Cleopatra.

Leaving his legal wife behind in Rome to take care of family and work, Mark-
Antony was completely under the spell of Cleopatra, who was upon him, playing,
drinking, talking, hunting, and doing all sorts of things in romantic fashion.

Mark Antony married Cleopatra in 36 B.C., and they both had three children. In
return, she was enthroned the de-facto ruler of Egypt, Cyprus, Crete, and Cyria. It
was this acts that incensed the Roman Senate to denounce Mark-Antony a traitor,
and he was stripped of all of his Roman honour and power.

Realising that Mark-Antony has lost favour with Romans, Octavian Augustus
pushed to rule Rome all alone, so he declared war against the queen of Egypt. The
battle between the two leading armies of Rome came to an end with Mark
Antony on the losing end.

After losing against Octavia in a major battle at sea, Antony and Cleopatra fled to
Egypt in 31 B.C. but Octavias loyal troops continued to pursue them. Out of
desperation, Cleopatra disseminated false rumours of her own suicide, thinking
that Octavian forces would turn back from pursuing her. The Roman soldiers
persisted.

Unaware of her plan, Mark-Antony was completely shocked to learn of the death
of his lover, so he stabbed himself to death. On the other hand, when Cleopatra
heard of this, she was hearth-broken and could not be consoled. She took her
own life by inducing a poisonous snake to bite her.
 3. Jezebel

Ahab was the son of King Omri of Israel, who mounted the throne and became
the seventh king of Israel after the death of his father.

King Ahab started his administration as a promising ruler who fortified some of
the cities in vantage locations to wade off various attacks from enemies of Israel.

He raised a large and highly efficient military force that was very successful in
battle, especially against Syria and the Assyrians. King Ahab was also prudent in
business and trading, as he made a number of lucrative trade agreements with
Phoenician merchant cities in the north.

King Ahabs great undoing was his marriage to Jezebel, the daughter of Ethbaal,
the King of Sidon and a priest of the fertility goddess Astarte. This marriage was
consummated to cement trade military alliances by Israel with the Phoenicians.

Jezebel came into Israel though to marry Ahab, but with a bolder intention to
evangelize the godly nation into the spell and worship of her sworn idol, Baal.
Under the influence of his wife, Jezebel, King Ahab fell into a great deluge of idol
worship, ungodly attitude and misrule.

Wicked and ferociously antichrist, Jezebel inspired the construction of temples

and altars to Baal, strongly opposed the worship of Jehovah, encouraged one of
Ahab's henchmen, Hiel of Bethel, to rebuild the city of Jericho, sacrificing his own
sons in the process.

Jezebel went so far as to require that her religion should be the national religion.
The priests of Baal were encouraged, and worshippers of the strange god swelled.
Priests and worshiper of God were fiercely persecuted, while altars places of
worship of the Hebrew God were destroyed.

Jezebel was a seducer, who only feign love to get what she wanted, to propagate
her idolatrous religion, to torment the faithful men and prophets of God, and
pillory the very existence of theocracy in Israel.

Her husband did not enjoy her wifely relationship when true love and genuine
affection were missing. She popularised make-up, fashion, fad, ostentatious
dressing, and lavish lifestyle.
As an agent of the antichrist, Jezebel eventually met her waterloo three years
after the untimely death of King Ahab in the war front.

By the instruction of militant Jehu, Jezebel was thrown out of the palace window
by her servants, and she died after the fall. In complete fulfilment of the prophecy
of Elijah, her blood splashed on the wall, horse trampled her corpse, and her flesh
was eaten by stray dogs.

4. King Edward VIII and Wallis Simpson

Most of western media and social history presents King Edward VIII of England
and Wales as the king of hearts. We often hear that the former monarch
abdicated his majestic throne for love, but what kind of love?

Human beings are very special. Man is unique and wonderful in very many ways,
most especially in the way he loves. Though being in love does not totally exclude
lust, however, it takes an appreciable length of time for lust to lead to love.

Pure lust is based solely on physical attraction and fantasy which would
eventually wane and dissipate when the real person surfaces. On the other
hand, true love readily accepts and accommodates in truth and in genuine
affection.

The biblical story of Samson, his clear purpose of birth, his calling, and deliberate
departure from that historic appointment for his people and service unto God has
great semblance to the life and times of King Edward VIII.

The heir to the throne of King George V was born Edward Albert Christian George
Andrew Patrick David in on June 23, 1894 to the Duke and Duchess of York, who
later became King George V and Queen Mary respectively.

Though his parents surely loved Edward, he thought of them as cold and distant.
His father was particularly strict, but King Edward VII, his grandfather, openly
loved Edward.

When King Edward VII passed on in May 6, 1910, the Duke of York became king
and Edward became the heir to the throne. In 1911, Edward formally became the
Prince of Wales, Duke of Cornwall and Rothesay.
Naturally Prince Edward was a good catch for any lady any day. He was very good-
looking, with blonde hair, blue eyes, and a boyish look. However, our charming
prince had an unexplained obsession and passion for married women.

Starting out in his adulterous flirtations with young married women from his early
twenties, Prince Edward maintained a long string of married mistresses until he
met Mrs. Wallis Simpson in 1931.

In 1934 Mrs. Wallis Simpson became the single and only mistress in the life of the
Prince of Wales, and the one to shape his future as well as the shape of the other
things that went with his role and responsibilities as future king.

Prince Edward became increasingly infatuated with Wallis. But did Wallis love
Edward?

Wallis in 1916 had married Earl Winfield Spencer Jr., a U.S. Navy aviator, but the
marriage crashed and the two were divorced in 1927. Wallis then married Ernest
Aldrich Simpson, an English-American shipping executive living in London.

Shortly after Wallis became Prince Edwards steady mistress, George V, died on
January 20, 1936. Edward ascended the throne and decided to marry Wallis as
soon as she divorced Simpson.

Mrs. Simpson divorced her husband later that year, but The Church of England,
the British government, and the conservative British establishment disagreed with
the new King, on the ground that Edward could not marry a divorced woman who
still had two living ex-husbands.

On this note, the king declared over radio broadcast, saying, "I have found it
impossible to carry on the heavy burden of responsibility and to discharge the
duties of king as I would wish to do without the help and support of the woman I
love."

His younger brother succeeded him as King George VI and granted Edward the
title Duke of Windsor. As Duke of Windsor, Edward married Wallis in 1937, but, as
she was never accepted by the royal family.

The two lived the rest of their lives abroad.

Wait

There is so much confusion about love and life that most of jus still find ourselves
in the same shoes as Romeo and Juliet, Julius Caesar and Mark-Anthony under the
spell of Cleopatra, Jezebel and Ahab, and the duke and Duchess of Windsor.

Despite been often drawn by the forces of Eros and sex to commit immorality and
illicit sexual affairs, the truth remains that God is love, and is drawing all men unto
Himself by the forces of love.

The very popular but incomprehensibly phenomenon called love is much more
than reason, calculation, science, philosophy, psychology or sociology. Love
transcends a variety of sub-disciplines including epistemology, metaphysics,
religion, human nature, politics and ethics.

Although most people believe that love revolves around the heart, it actually
occurs in the brain. We cant do love - to be meek and unassuming in life takes
the grace of God. It is only when you love God that you can truly love fellow
mankind.

While romance has its vital part in a loving relationship, it does not by itself stand
for love.

As long as romance is set on the podium of physical attraction, aesthetic appeal,

material gratification, and sexual pleasure, the relationship is bound to hit the
rocks when those parameters wanes and fades.

Mingling with them and marrying them for lust mistaken for love, King Solomon
was turned from the Lord by wicked women of the world. In the same vein, King
Ahabs tragedy was in forming an alliance with Jezebel, the wicked lover who
turned Ahabs heart from God to serve idols, despite his great potentials, if he had
remained on the Lords side.

There was no one like Ahab who sold himself to do wickedness in the sight of
the Lord, because Jezebel his wife stirred him up. (1 Kin 21:25).

Love is known by its enduring perseverance, because love is an essential wait.

Love is a wait upon The Lord to know who to love as an intimate partner, and a
further wait to prove that beloved partner.
The world is always in a hurry, in haste, and in a rush to do its business, but love is
patient. Love is ever patient to wait, sometimes for months and years, to prove
the one he love so dear.

I wait for the LORD, my soul doth wait, and in his word do I hope.

My soul waiteth for the Lord more than they that watch for the morning:

I say, more than they that watch for the morning. (Psa 130:5,6).

The eyes of all wait upon thee; and thou givest them their meat in due season.

Thou openest thine hand, and satisfiest the desire of every living thing. (Psa
145:15,16).

I wait, oh yes I wait, for days, weeks, months, and years to seek, to find, and to
prove my love. I wait for God to show me who to love before I could warmly
embrace him in total and unbreakable intimate relationship as my love, my friend
and my joy.

I pick her love deep from the bottom of her heart by the guidance of the Spirit of
God, and I put it right within the centre of my heart, and, truly, the wait was
worth it.

Others may, but I will not, I cannot, and I would never consider erotic romance as
love. I will not condescend to call naked caresses, inordinate affection, and
explosive fiery lustful passion between the sexes as love.

Sexual role, sexy desire, wild merry-making and sexy cravings are secret details of
passionate romance, ardour, and eroticism that are better kept within and inside,
some or all of which could be aspects of loving my proven love, but not essentially
love in the true sense.

The character of love exposes the failings in human nature. Human nature is
greatly endowed in strength, wealth, heath, abundant opportunities with great
potentialities, but terribly curtailed by unbelief, mistrust, and unwillingness to
take God for Whom He is.
Romantic pleasure is the best between spouses that knows god and understands
the purpose of creation, but, sadly, it had become the dessert of the carefree, the
lay-about, and all sorts of little-minds. We crave for love, the great desire of men
is to be recognised, accepted and appreciated, and sheer lust cannot do that.

Love, if it is true and genuine, will always find space in character, in virtue, in
truth, in noble affairs, in honesty, in justice and fairness, and in whatsoever is of
good report.

You just cannot discuss among the angels or within the communities of the
righteous those very stupid, sinful, and senseless things people do in romantic
acts and erotic orgies, and erroneously so, all in the name of falling in love.

We do not necessarily fall in love as the love songs, tales and movies often
proclaim. If you fall in love, you may as well fall out of it, faster than you fell into
it!

The character of love demands that you put some virtues into right action and
perspective, between you and your friend, family, acquaintances, and your
spouse, otherwise love remains dormant, misplaced or misappropriated.

Love should be the result of becoming friendly, getting acquainted, or getting

married, and not a cause for it.

1. Abraham and his trusted servant prayed and laboured for a good wife for
Isaac, And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she
lighted off the camel. (Gen 24:64) And Isaac brought her into his
mother Sarah's tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he
loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother's death. (Gen
24:67).
2. Jacob was not happy in his marriage relation because of the deception of
Laban, his father-in-law. It was Rachel that Jacob loved, proposed, and
laboured for 7 years to marry. And Jacob served seven years for Rachel;
and they seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had to her.
(Gen 29:20).
 But Laban deceived him and gave him Leah, Rachels senior sister. When he
found out, Jacob could not love Leah though he had mistakenly taken her
for wife.
And it came to pass, that in the morning, behold, it was Leah: and he said
to Laban, What is this thou hast done unto me? did not I serve with thee
for Rachel? wherefore then hast thou beguiled me?
And Laban said, It must not be so done in our country, to give the younger
before the firstborn.
Fulfil her week, and we will give thee this also for the service which thou
shalt serve with me yet seven other years. (Gen 29:25-27).
Jacob was placed in a most trying position, but he consoled himself and
decided to serve Laban for another seven years, since love makes long and
hard services short and easy.
And Jacob did so, and fulfilled her week: and he gave him Rachel his
daughter to wife also. (Gen 29:25-28).

Jacob was eventually tricked into marrying two wives, but his love and genuine
affection was for Rachel, whom he loved deep in his heart. Leah was a wife of a
circumstance that could not be amended otherwise.

The ultimate goal of love is a perfect relationship, a most intimate affectionate

connection that will result into a good relationship between each person and
his/her God, a good marriage between a man, Adam, and his wife, Eve, and a
betrothal of Christ unto His Church who loved her and gave Himself for it.

Contrary to popular opinion, love is the result of your good virtues, correct
manners, and right character in a relationship that ends up in marriage, and not
the tonic for it or the fuel to ignite it.

Definitely, Christ loves the whole world and died for all sinners, but He is coming
back again only for those people whose garments are white, Christians who are
genuine, believers whose names are written in Gods Book of Life, and people
who are truly waiting for His coming.
Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honour to him: for the marriage of the
Lamb is come, and his wife hath made herself ready.

And to her was granted that she should be arrayed in fine linen, clean and
white: for the fine linen is the righteousness of saints. (Rev 19:7,8)

Christ is the Bridegroom of His ransomed and triumphant church, which is

currently being purified from errors, divisions, and corruptions, in doctrine,
discipline, worship, and practice.

All people who truly love Christ and are called out of worldliness and demonstrate
their character of love for their Master in righteousness and holy living are
Christians. They are dressed in fine linen, clean and white, which is the robes of
Christ's righteousness, imputed for justification, and imparted for sanctification.

The ultimate purpose of love is to love God first and foremost, and be ready for
His marriage unto His church, part of which you must be. When you love God, you
keep the commandment Thou shalt have no other gods before me. (Exo 20:3).

People who love Christ have cast off the gay fashion of Satan, they have removed
the gaudy dresses of the mother of harlots, and have withdrawn their mind and
body from the indecent fads and systems of iniquity and worldliness, so that they
could be blessed and called unto the marriage supper of the Lamb.

While a thing of beauty could bring joy and enhance happiness, the wealth of man
has wings, it could fly off and go away in a moment, and the beauty of maidens
could fade with age, illness, and disaster. Only the love of God endures for ever.

Whoever truly loves God will certainly love mankind.

Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart,
and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great
commandment.
And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On
these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets. (Mat
22:37-40).
 3. Reasons for Love

You shall be strong, therefore, and show yourself a man,

and keep the charge of the Lord your God to walk in His ways,

to keep His statutes and His commandments and His testimonies.

As it is written in the Law of Moses, that you may prosper in all that
you do and wherever you turn. (1 King 2:2-3).
The secret of any successful endeavor in life does not depend upon the wisdom of
man but rest solely upon the principles of God.

The great challenge of any man, however, is to understand what actually a

successful life according to God is.

To be rich, royal, and regal is the focus of many a man.

A man is considered successful in the eyes of the world when he is prosperous,

powerful, popular, and well-positioned. But, success according to God is
attainable in the following setting:

Only be thou strong and very courageous,

that thou mayest observe to do according to all the law,

which Moses my servant commanded thee:

turn not from it to the right hand or to the left,

that thou mayest prosper whithersoever thou goest.

This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth;

but thou shalt meditate therein day and night,

that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein:

for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous,

and then thou shalt have good success. (Jos 1:7,8).

We may like to hear over and over again the love story of Romeo and Juliet, but
there is no gain in it for anybody because the tragedies could have been averted if
things were done according to the way of God.

The biggest mistake humans often make is to think that we own ourselves, and
thus could do as we like.

Adam was living alone in the Garden of Eden until God saw that he needed a wife.
So God created Eve and made the two of them to live together as husband and
wife. This was the beginning of love between a man and a woman, the start of
loving relationship between two close friends, and the establishment of the family
life.

When love is true, it begins in earnest as sincere friendship like a freshly ignited
fire. The loving partners, as dry charcoal, catch the fire and start to glow and
warm each other up.

The warmer the partners get the hotter they become. In togetherness they help
each other to keep aflame, glowing and flickering together in love and in truth.
Their focus is in seeking the good of each other rather than seek to please self.

As love grows older, intimacy builds up, unifying tendencies takes hold, and
oneness in truth and in love is strengthened in earnest. Maturity in love, like hot
coals, produces deep-burning and unquenchable fire of love that gives no inroad
for the enemy.

Disagreement, disunity, and separation among supposedly loving partners allows

the enemy to take undue advantage that could lead to danger and disaster.
Therefore, people in love should always look out to avoid them, and quickly wipe
them out as soon as they rear their ugly heads.

God created Eve for Adam out of divine love to establish the marriage institution
and to propagate true love between a man and his wife, and between a father
and his entire family. This is the basic unit of human relationship as a model for all
men and women for home and family life, from generation unto generation.

The divine love model between husband and wife is set by God from the very
beginning for our good. It is ordained as an essential institution for each man and
woman to live a good life, to set up a family, and build a good home.

1. The marriage institution is designed to keep man in the way of God as a

person, as a child of God, and out of the reach of Satan.

2. It is to preserve man in purity and holiness as a family, caring and

supporting each other as spouses, siblings, and one godly entity.

3. It is to keep and maintain a man or woman in Christian fellowship with

fellow brethren within the larger society, as a people of God one God,
one truth, one fellowship, faithfully waiting for the Rapture.

The marriage institution is a vital reason for love. It is designed by God for the
completeness and fulfillment of living life according to the pattern planned and
intended by God for each male and female among human beings.

To every Adam is an Eve. To each man is a woman. Not one to two, neither two to
one, but always a male to one female. It has always been so, and it will always
continue to be so, in accordance to the way God has instituted it to be. This is a
major reason for love.

We love because we are created as humans to love in order to glorify God, and
not self, in loving someone that is close to our heart.

We love because our Heavenly Father first loves us in giving His Son to die for us
and redeem us from iniquity. Thus, we also, unlike animals, love our children with
emotion, with passionate affection, and with compassion such as the bond
between mother and child, the father and his family, between siblings, and
among members of a tribe.

We love because it is the only way to prove we are true children of God.
God is love, and gives His only son for the salvation of all mankind love out of
love, thus we love in self-sacrifice and not in selfishness or egoism.

Marriage provides needed fellowship between couples because,

1. They love and cherish each other in love and true affection.

2. They derive godly pleasure and comfort from each other in love.

3. They maintain companionship and partnership with each other to

complement Gods work of procreation.

a. Love begins through friendship,

b. continues in genuine affection and intimate relationship without breaking

the laws of God,

c. it grows in displayed truthful desire to live together as husband and wife,

with the consent of parents, guardians and the body of Christ,

d. it is consummated in holy matrimony whereby two people who are

genuinely and truly in love wed together and become one flesh, to live
together till death or rapture comes.

Walking according to the commandments and laws of God is the secret of success
in whatever enterprise or affair you may embark upon. Despite the disregard of
man and society for the true sanctity of love, loving relationship, and the family,
God has instituted marriage and the family the most sacred institutions in life.

Very many things are wrong in our world, and so many things are not right about
life, yet man continue to condone and relish them. We take the dancing floors,
the cinemas, the night clubs, the drinking bars, and the red light districts as places
to find love.

There are two kingdoms to which all the peoples of the world belong the
Kingdom of God and that of Satan. The warning of God is meant for those who
belong to His kingdom, Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers:
for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what
communion hath light with darkness? (2Co 6:14).

When Christians go into unholy love affairs with unbelievers, they definitely have
to condone worldly practices that the Scripture forbids, and reap the sinful
reward of iniquity.

Did not Solomon king of Israel sin by these things?

yet among many nations was there no king like him,
who was beloved of his God, and God made him king over all Israel:
nevertheless even him did outlandish women cause to sin.
(Neh 13:26).
God is love, but many of us have predetermined what love should be, and go
ahead to seek just that idea rather than go to God first to know Him and find true
love through Him.

The standard set forth by God for the ultimate good of man has not changed, and
will never change. The reason for those standards is because God love us and
want the best for all men.

People who stick to Gods commandments always enjoy His blessings, but those
who disobey Him would attract His wrath.

Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth
in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.

But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day
and night.

And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his
fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall
prosper.

The ungodly are not so: but are like the chaff which the wind driveth away.
(Psa 1:1-4).
God loves all men, and His love does not change. And we know that all things
work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called
according to his purpose. (Rom 8:28).

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD,

thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me,

and I will hearken unto you.

And ye shall seek me, and find me,

when ye shall search for me with all your heart.

(Jer 29:11-13).

Many waters cannot quench love, nor will rivers overflow it; if a man were to
give all the riches of his house for love, it would be utterly despised (Son 8:7).

Selfishness, which disregards the welfare and happiness of others, which seek
only after his own, or her own, is always at the root of wrong conduct and
unfaithfulness in marriage.

Flickering desires, sensual love, lustful affection, eyes full of adultery and
fornication. In the end, it is more pain than satisfying pleasure. Hades has
torments, hell promises torture, to as many as follow the beast, and to all those
who love falsehood, and love deceitfully.

Genuine Christians must be consecrated in serving God with a pure heart and a
loving spirit. Christians must raise their standard of loving the Lord and develop
the fruit of self-control despite the temptations and satanic allurements of
modern life.

Wisdom always considers the future consequences of present choices.

Lot allowed his flesh to dictate for him. And Lot lifted up his eyes, and beheld all
the plain of Jordan, that it was well watered every where, before the LORD
destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah, even as the garden of the LORD, like the land
of Egypt, as thou comest unto Zoar.

Then Lot chose him all the plain of Jordan; and Lot journeyed east: and they
separated themselves the one from the other. (Gen 13:10,11).

In the end, the choice of rich and fertile pasturing land of Sodom and Gomorrah
became very wrong decision for Lot. He lost everything he had acquired there, left
in a hurry, and lost his love, his wife in the process.

The beautiful girl or handsome man you chose for love out of a carnal mind might
be your greatest undoing in the future. It is always safe to seek the will of God
before you make any move that has eternal consequence.

You should love not because of his looks or her beauty. Your reason for love must
be according to the Spirit of God.

Madam Potiphar attracted Joseph with freedom, influence, and material wealth
in making sexual advances unto the young man.

Joseph promptly turns down her flirtatious demands, and, when she persisted, he
left his dress in her hands and fled.

And it came to pass after these things, that his master's wife cast her eyes upon
Joseph; and she said, Lie with me.

But he refused, and said unto his master's wife, Behold, my master wotteth not
what is with me in the house, and he hath committed all that he hath to my
hand;

There is none greater in this house than I; neither hath he kept back any thing
from me but thee, because thou art his wife: how then can I do this great
wickedness, and sin against God? (Gen 39:7-9).

You may think it fun and pleasure when you satisfy immediate fleshly desire and
pressing sexual urge, but the bite cuts like a knife, and always leave a scar. Sexual
activity outside the bonds and bounds of legal marriage is sinful.
Having fantasy with pornography, too much devotion to sex movies and flirtatious
sites on the internet, and other forms of immoral sexual activities is wholly
ungodly.

Fornication - sexual intercourse between two persons who are not married,
adultery - sexual intercourse when one or both parties are married to someone
else, homosexuality, incest, bestiality (sex activities between humans and
animals), and child molestation, may have become popular and common, but are
sinful and abominable unto God and man.

People who fail to heed the word of God are like chaff that will be driven away by
the wind. They never last. All marriages everywhere, in accordance to the way
God has instituted it, involves two people. No matter how many changes occur in
customs and cultures, a marriage always involves two people.

Reasons for Marriage

1. For husband and wife to be of help one to another.

2. For husband and wife to have fellowship and communion together as one
flesh. (Gen 2:18).

3. For husband and wife to procreate and replenish the earth with their
offspring, and train the children in the way of the Lord. (Gen 1:28, 18:19;
Pro 22: 6).

4. To live together as husband and wife at all times and in all situations till
they die. (Mar 10: 6 9).

5. To provide food and other good things of life for one another. (1Tim 5:8).

However, in his bid to please himself and walk contrary to the way of God, the
marriage institution was corrupted and maligned by man. Eve had everything in
the Garden, but lost it all because of Self-will, self-management, and egotism!

Eve wandered away from the warm affection and valuable attention of Adam. She
wanted to be all by herself. She preferred for once to have her freedom and
liberty without interference from her husband.
Eve wondered into forbidden grounds, pondered over the forbidden fruit, and
was quickly ushered into the company of Satan, in the appearance of a serpent.

By moving away from Adam, by disregarding godly wisdom and treading on

forbidden ground all alone, Eve sought her own freedom and self-centered
liberation, and turned away from adoring and admiring her husband. In no time at
all, she became an admirer of the serpent, and a fallen victim of Satan.

Incest, homosexuality, polygamy, adultery, fornication and other forms of

unfaithfulness in human relationships and marriage are never designed by God
for man.

God condemned all these kind of unholy relationships and did not recommend
them for man because of his own good.

Ye shall do my judgments, and keep mine ordinances, to walk therein: I

am the LORD your God.

Ye shall therefore keep my statutes, and my judgments: which if a man

do, he shall live in them: I am the LORD.

None of you shall approach to any that is near of kin to him, to uncover
their nakedness: I am the LORD. (Lev 18:4-6).

Moreover thou shalt not lie carnally with thy neighbour's wife, to defile
thyself with her. (Lev 18:20).

Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.

(Lev 18:22).

Therefore shall ye keep mine ordinance, that ye commit not any one of
these abominable customs, which were committed before you, and that
ye defile not yourselves therein: I am the LORD your God. (Lev 18:30).

Love is made up of many elements and corresponding components. Like the

rainbow, the spectrum of Gods eternal gift of love radiates from God, passes
through two loving individuals, and reflects back unto God again.
Eros and Philios are often mistaken as the ultimate focus and goal of love, but it is
God Himself manifesting in love, and guiding all believers how to love through the
agape love.

Love, as a living reality, rather than an abstract matter, does not just manifest in
glowing words of affection, but through indispensable virtues and character, in
spiritual gifts and manifestation, as well as in sacrificial deeds because Christ
sacrifice Himself for all mankind.

It is when you emphasize the love characteristics enunciated above in your

relationship rather than pay undue attention to the physical qualities of your
partner or spouse that the true joy of loving relationship rings through and true.

You should look less on the apparent challenges or difficult situations and failings
of your partner or spouse, but look in faith at a bright future that will soon
manifest through faith in Jesus.

When you truly love your spouse, you devote yourself to his good, safety and
security, without minding his failings and failures as a husband or wife. Such
positive actions will weigh down his negativity and win him or her to your side,
and the side of God, the side of good.

The loving relationship between husband and wife goes beyond physical care,
material provision and sexual bond.

1. It includes giving emotional support for each other.

2. It involves supporting each other to attain essential spiritual growth in
Christ.
3. It is to walk and work together in love and truth in order to support each
other to attain and achieve the best God has in stock for them collectively
and personally.

Loves Four Way Test

1. The very first thing and most important element in a model loving
relationship are to begin with God.
 2. Coming together in love, affection and intimacy gets its spark and glow
through romance and displayed affection in accordance with the word of
God, and definitely not from premarital sex, fornication or adultery.

3. No matter your faith and religion, remember that only Christ and the
Bible teaches love in the right way, form and model, and must be strictly
adhered to, otherwise carnality will destroy the relationship.

4. True love is more than a feeling, but begins with godly affection
maintained through the standards and commandments of God, who is
love in person.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of
wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always
protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
(I Cor 13:4-8a, NIV).
 4. Love, Not Lust

True love is lived in total acceptance of the one loved, genuinely demonstrated in
truth to God and fairness to man, and kindly expressed in tenderness, in positive
lifestyle, and decent lovely approaches.

It is an open declaration of affection with deep feelings and wholesome

acceptance from the heart. True love is to love you just because you are you, and
much more because you are Christs.

It is much more than lifeless words on a piece of card without true inner affection.
Beyond the feeling, you will know true and true whether or not you are in love,
especially when a man truly loves his woman.

It is beyond open profession and demonstration. It is deep in the heart, flows

ceaselessly between just the two of them, till death part and separates the two,
and just two of them out of all other persons on this planet.

Loving relationship or intimate friendship is a two-way encounter which leads to

happiness. When a man loves a woman, he intensifies all efforts to close every
gap or opening so that their cordiality is closely knit together.

This is a demonstration of human affection to the person one love and

appreciates, and it should strengthen cordiality and admiration for each other.

The foundation stones for a balanced success are honesty, character, integrity,
faith, love and loyalty, but the greatest of them all is love, because love
beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

To attain this level of love and to understand this kind of godly affection, man
needs to come up higher. His spirit, soul, and body needs to be redeemed,
transformed, and restored into the very level desirable unto God.

Your spirit, soul and body must come under the control of the Spirit of God and
not the dictates of the devil.
Your body ought to be set free from the yoke of your own will in order to become
the Lord's property. In the plan of God, all of what goes to maintain the body, to
clothe it, to strengthen it, to use it for work or pleasure, to rest it in sleep, or
afford it enjoyment should be placed under the control of the Holy Spirit.

There exist an inseparable link between divine power and your participating
performance if your spirit, soul and body is to truly serve a temple of God.

You are formed and fashioned in spirit, soul and body by the infinite wisdom of
Almighty God to serve as the house in which Christ, the Holy Spirit, and your
human spirit dwell.

Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats: but God shall destroy both it and
them. Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the
body. (1Co 6:13).

You cannot of yourself surrender your body to the dominion of God and to be
dwelt in by His holy spirit.

God is able to sanctify, to purify, and to make your spirit perfect for His dwelling
and guidance. All you need do is to consecrate yourself or surrender your will,
your choices, your affections and your total self to Him.

To consecrate yourself unto God you must first be saved. The grace of salvation
by which you are redeemed from the world of sin and iniquity, usher you into a
new life in Christ, into His marvelous light.

The grace of God obtained at salvation abstain you from all appearance of evil,
and the peace of God which come through your justification by faith now
sanctifies you.

In a nutshell, no matter your present faith or belief, you need three things to be
readily accorded the title of a child of God:

1. Salvation
2. Sanctification
3. Service that is acceptable to God through the power of the Holy Spirit
What has this got to do with love? A great deal!

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know
it? (Jer 17:9).

The heart of man carries his conscience. The conscience is an important part of
man that automatic warning system in his soul.

Unlike animals, a man has the privilege to assess, to evaluate, to gauge, to

preview or review his own actions and make moral decisions with the aid of his
conscience.

Since we all have a conscience, and the conscience is the human faculty that
judges our actions and thoughts, it knows deeply and thoroughly our inner
motives and real thoughts.

No matter how cleverly we may try to rationalize, excuse, explain or defend

ourselves in the attempt to justify our actions and inaction, a violated conscience
will not be easily convinced.

Since all thoughts and wishes do not elude the conscience, every thought, motive,
and deed of unrighteousness, which might have gone unnoticed or unknown to
friends and foes, can never escape the observation of the conscience.

Throughout life, the conscience continues to record and store evidences that will
be applied to condemn all guilty souls on the Day of Judgment.

The more you allow your heart to receive divine attention, divine touch, and
divine illumination, the more your conscience is cleansed and purified. Salvation
gives you the grace to be redeemed. Sanctification is the grace to become pure in
conscience and holy unto God.

The heart of man, in his corrupt and fallen state, is deceitful above all things.
Because it harbors defiled conscience, it calls evil good, and good evil, it speak of
peace when danger is at stake.

If the conscience, which should set right the errors of other faculties, is a leader in
the delusion, then what becomes the state of that person?
This portends great danger for love, affection, and marriage.

Nowadays, there exist so many predators among men, people whose minds are
so warped that they lack any form of decency, etiquette, and genuine affection.

These are the kind of people who rape, gang rape, who abuse women, children,
and unwary youths. They beat their wives, molest their children, and commit
adultery and fornication with impunity. How could such ones speak about love?

This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.

For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud,
blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,

Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce,

despisers of those that are good, Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of
pleasures more than lovers of God;

Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof:

from such turn away. (2Ti 3:1-5)

Without any doubt, we are already in the age or era when men and women, in
many respects, seem to have lost the capacity for moral discernment.

Sex and sexuality has become the most common catch phrase. Pornography is big
business. Homosexuality is legalized and spreading like wild fire. Adultery,
fornication, sexual abuse of the very absurd kinds is on the rise.

The Apostles clear warning is: From such turn away!

Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light,
and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! (Isa 5:20).

The carefree moral philosophy of today is conformity and compromise.

The distinction between the sacred and the secular is rapidly becoming more
difficult to discern; there is a loss of a sense of reverence toward God and sacred
things; the concept of holiness in the life. Nevertheless, the standard of God does
not change one bit.

You are not your own after all, but all of you and your body belong to Christ. The
body is for the Lord as an instrument of righteousness unto holiness.

You therefore, cannot, and can never allow your body as an instrument of
sinfulness and iniquity, meaning that it matters a lot with who you are in love
relationship.

In the souls innermost chamber dwell the affections. This is the home of human
affection which radiates affections from one person to another, the love of a
mother to her child, the love between the bride and her bridegroom, the deep
fellowship of congenial affinity.

The soul is also the seat of the emotions and passions, from where radiates
feelings of joy and sorrow, enthusiasm and discouragement, hope and despair,
happiness and sadness, etcetera.

While the spirit of man makes us conscious of God and spiritual things, the soul
makes us conscious of earthly situations and experiences.

Highly terrifying global conflicts and terrorism has created so much unrest in the
world, coupled with depressing economic crisis in Europe and developing nations.

The world is no longer at ease, and the ripple effect of the in constant turmoil,
world-wide unrest, confusion, and uncertainty boils down on families and
individuals.

Immorality, moral decay, drug abuse, drunkenness, divorce, juvenile delinquency,

crime, and a loss of spiritual concern are on the rise within the communities and
the homes.

Scientific and technological advancement, despite their gains and benefits in time
saving and making life easier, have only added to the problem.
Technological advancement has created the improvement and benefits that has
not only made life easier, but have equally created easier access to leisure,
pleasure, carnality, and sinfulness.

We cannot know our own hearts, and neither can we know what they will do in
an hour of temptation. Who can understand his errors?

To love in the way and manner designed by God, modern man has to go back to
God. God Himself has provided the answer to the dilemma, thereby enabling the
sincere Christian to rediscover the distinctiveness of his calling to be the "salt of
the earth" and "light of the world."

A sanctified soul is purified and restored to the desirable state of affection,

desires, emotions, passion, love, and ambition that are kept under the control of
the Creator Himself.

It is when a soul is purged of inordinate affections, worldly desires and ungodly

aspirations that he would genuinely love husband or wife, father, mother,
children, and life in general, and love God much more than all these.

Men and women needs much more than commitment and trust to befriend, to
develop intimacy, and to settle down together in marriage.

Love is bigger than what unsanctified humans could handle, and that explains why
we fail when we do it on our own, without God.

When the going gets tough and rough, some people will say life is a battle.

When the going is good and all seems okay and smooth, people often say life is
sweet.

No matter your situation or circumstance, life is about God and you, and love,
genuine love, true love, is essentially between God and two people who has
become one flesh.

Without God any love relationship or marriage will hit the rocks and crumble.
They may not divorce or separate, but adultery, fornication, incest, and all other
forms of inordinate relationships surely have a sad, bad, painful payback.
Love is thus a power, potent for good, but debased and corrupted, is a potent
for evil.
 5. Romance, Lust, & Valentines Day

To very many people, love is like a butterfly.

They are in love because the soft and gentle touch of the partner is always there.

They feel loved when the romantic moods and sighs of the lover flutters in flight
with its soft wings to create the unique strange feeling of affection and
acceptance inside his beloved.

The warm kiss, the soft and tender touch, the kind smiles, and the contagious big
laughter of a loved one could be so enthralling and captivating, but could it all be
true?

Baby, youve always been on my mind, and youll always be, is the captivating
opening line of most love stories. But, you know as much as I do, that they usually
end up in heartaches.

However, just like the butterfly, such love wanes and dies as soon as it began. The
butterfly never stays in one place, never commit or consecrate to one particular
flower or plant. It pollinates, and cross-fertilize here and there. It bounces and
sucks everywhere there is flower.

To some other people, love is like a rose, usually a red rose. Nevertheless, roses
are great of look and fragrance when fresh and tender, but the lovely scent of the
rose is no longer in demand when the plant is dry and hard. Then, such love
would never last and last.

Beware when your love is like a river, it dries so quickly when the feeder spring
changes its course or dehydrated in summer, and could no longer supply in
spring.

As sweethearts walk by together across our way, we poise and muse when it will
be the time to fall in love.
We wonder and ponder, how soon we will be under the warm embrace of a loved
one, how soon it will be to be captivated by those lovely blue eyes, and how soon
we shall stop missing the gentle hold and warm embrace of a lovers presence.

Truth is simple but seldom ever seen. Romance is a love affair that usually fails to
last as love wanes and affection is dissipating.

Then romance is not love, love is deeper than romance.

Why do I love you?

Do I love you because you understand me?

Do I love you because you are always there to lend a helping hand?

Do I love you because your love will always see me through trying times and
difficult periods?

Do I love you for the way you never doubt me, and for the good feelings you
create whenever we are together?

Do you really love me even when you misunderstand me, when you could not
give a helping hand during my trials and difficulties, or when the good feelings
you once used to create are no longer there?

Romance

We often agree that love and romance make life worth living, and usually think
that the two are the same thing when talking about love, but romance is actually
the necessary evil or essential faade behind which lurks real love.

Love truly get started when you come across the girl and something within you
asked you to stop, stoop, and ask her to be a friend.

Love grows as the friendship develops into two-some fellows on a journey to

somewhere not so clear. The relationship develops in tender affection, and
blossomed into intimate coziness with rumble and tumble off and on cutting
edges.
Then came the February 14th lovers day you seriously though about her, asked
her out, and offering her a sparkly little rock and asking her to put up with you for
better for worse, and for the rest of the lives of both of you.

Looking back now, and it had been 25 odd years in loving relationship, wading
through the upheavals and challenges of life, work, money, economy, religion,
and the children.

Youve not really been tough going through the rough patches of a lifetime
relationship and marriage, but the little aspects of romance, on daily basis, seven
days a week, 52 weeks round the year, year-in year-out has really kept your
relationship thick and focused.

Little but highly essential aspects of romance, such as writing her a serious
romantic love letter when she least expect, giving her flowers when she never
thought it would come, sending the kids off somewhere, and making her a nice
dinner for just the two of you, are some of the sparks of romance to spice up the
relationship.

Remembering she is the one in whose arms Ill always be every night, so I always
think and save her the very special stuffs, saving the last dance for her, if ever
there is a last dance.

By showing affection regularly and constantly, sending her love texts, occasional
gropes, tender touches, tenderly holding her hands and avoiding her when she is
not in the mood for pecks and petting, shower together and cuddle often, has
done the great trick of keeping the spark in the relationship.

The St. Valentine Legend

Love is a combination of various elements, different parameters, complementing
forces and corresponding components. The vital spark is that love, to be real,
must revert back to the giver of love God. Like the rainbow, the spectrum of
God's eternal gift of love radiates from God, passes through two loving
individuals, and reflects back unto God again.
Valentines Day originated essentially for the expression of love, but what kind of
love?

St. Valentines Day originated from the Roman festival of romance called
Lupercalia. According to legends, this is the time when the gods Juno and Pan
were honored, therefore it is idolatry, fetish, and sinful.

Lupercalia was held in honor of Lupercus, the Roman god of fertility and
husbandry, protector of herds and crops, and a mighty hunterespecially of
wolves.

Rather than looking to God, ancient Romans believed that Lupercus would protect
Rome from roving bands of wolves, which devoured livestock and people, and the
festival would usher in fertility in child bearing for ladies.

The month of was derived from februa or means of purification, also sacred to
Juno Februata, the goddess of febris, fever of love, and of women and marriage.
In this ancient practice of sexual orgy and love match-making, lots were cast in
February to pitch teenage boys and girls together as couple, who would then
partake in erotic feasts, dancing and revelry throughout Rome. The couple
remains sexual partners for the rest of the year.

According to legend, and very many versions exist, Valentine was a Roman Priest
who lived during the reign of Roman Emperor Claudius. Apart from Claudius
fierce persecution of the church, the monarch believed that young unmarried
men make better fighters and soldiers than married ones. So he forbade
marriages throughout the empire of Rome.

His prohibition of marriage was based upon the assumption that married soldiers
are weak fighters for the fear of what might happen to them in battle, and what
becomes of their wives and family if killed at war. Unmarried young men have no
such responsibility, so they fight better.

Zealous for evangelism to populate the church, Valentine set up a clandestine

method to conduct marriages secretly to win new members into the church.
Somehow, he was caught while conducting secret marriage, kept in prison and
seriously tortured.

Valentine was eventually caught, imprisoned and tortured for performing

marriage ceremonies against command of Emperor Claudius the second. There
are legends surrounding Valentine's actions while in prison.

Somehow, Asterius, who had a blind daughter, was on the jury that was to
determine the fate of Valentine. According to legend, Valentine prayed with this
young girl, Julia, and she could see. For this purpose, Asterius forty-four member
household including Julia, came to believe in Jesus and were baptized.

For conducting Christian marriages in secret, Valentine was sentenced in 269 AD

to a be beaten, to be stoned, and finally to be decapitated. According to legend,
the last words Valentine wrote in a note to Julia was, from your Valentine,
which was allegedly claimed to have inspired the popular missives of February
14th annual celebration.

Geoffrey Chaucer, the great English writer and poet, was also claimed to have
began a tradition in the 14th century of courtly romantic love celebration on
February 14th which flourished through writing of stories dealing with the
question of the proper attitude toward marriage, love, sex, and the connections
between them.

This tradition evolved in 18th-century England into an occasion in which lovers

expressed their love for each other by presenting flowers, offering confectionery,
and sending greeting cards, known as "valentines".

The celebration of Saint Valentine did not have any romantic connotations until
Chaucer's poetry about "Valentines" in the 14th century added the coloration,
and it has since been so.

Today, Valentine Day celebration is far removed from the evangelical efforts of a
martyred priest and godly marital relationships, but commercialization and big
time businesses surrounding the spirits of romance and sex drives. However,
serious lovers and married couples are also encouraged to renew their marriage
vows and rededicate themselves to affectionate love and care.

Romantic love focuses to fulfill the urge and the drive for flirtations, promiscuity,
adultery and fornication funneled through dating, petting, dancing, party spirit,
reveling, and pornography.

The custom was changed in AD 494 by the Church under Pope Gelasius I into the
Feast of the Purification of the Virgin Mary, and was later named in
commemoration of St. Valentine, a saint of the church who was executed by the
emperor in AD 270 for his beliefs.

You will realize that the major focus of Christmas has been shifted across the
world from the Messianic arrival to the gifts presented at the manger by the
visiting Three Maggis. Worldliness has crept into the church by way of gift sharing
holiday and celebrations in contrast to salvation and redemption through Christ.

Somehow, the major intent of like Christmas Day celebrations, is far removed
from the institution of marriage by God, and is not close to true love as
enunciated in the Bible. Rather it favors fun-seeking and fun-catching people, and
serves the business interests of florists, gift shops, souvenir entrepreneurs, card
companies, fashion makers, and general gift and ceremonial item merchants.

On Valentines Day, lust and worldly affection between the sexes is much more on
display rather than the core values of true love love without dissimulation.
Rather than promote genuine affection, sex, party spirit, reveling, and socializing
have gained upper hands on Valentine Day.

Love to God and love to fellow mankind. To live honestly with the Lord, to live
honestly with one another as companions in loving relationship, to live honestly
with other people, to consecrate wholly to God, and dedicate in unselfish service
to mankind is the hallmark of a good man.

Valentine Days celebrations are lustful, sensual, and sentimental, with reveling
and party spirits. Valentine Day celebration of love reminds me of a Readers
Digest story: - When I was growing up, there was a saucepan in our house with a
lid that did not fit rightly. When steam began to rise, the lid would shake, rattle,
and make a terrible noise.

Of course, the lid was doing no good. In fact, it was allowing the steam to escape,
but it made quite a racket and impressed you as being very busy and very
important.

Valentine Days celebration of love makes so much noise every February 14, but
has little or no bearing to true love, genuine affection, or godly marital
relationship.

Attempts to place sexual lust and sinful orgies on the pedestal of love can never
meet the principles for which God created man and woman.
6. True Way to Love

The one thing most essential for breakthrough, successful achievement, and a
wonderful relationship with God and man is to make the law of God ones rule
and stay, to meditate therein day and night so that you will fully grasp and
understand it.

Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth
in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.

But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day
and night.

And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his
fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall
prosper. (Psa 1:1-3).

Love is a very strange thing. No one can really give human love a proper
definition, because no two loves between a man and a woman are the same.

Affection, a very essential ingredient in love, courtship or loving relationship, is

not measured by the dollar-value of our gifts and presents, but rather by the
sincerity and genuine care and concern of the giver.

When two people are in love, they feel cut off from the rest of the world. They
feel they are all alone and isolated from the rest of humanity. They fear and worry
not to fall apart, but rather to keep the relationship for ever.

Healthy relationships require more than pure emotion or lofty passions. You will
always need to respect the opinion and views of the one you love. You need a lot
of humility to go together all along the rest of your lives. You need a lot of
commitment to maintain the relationship and prove loyalty to the person you
care so much about.

Love is not enough and not all about life and living. There are much more
important things in life and out of life than relationships and being in love, and,
very surprisingly, the success of our relationships hinges on these deeper and
more important values.

You will definitely get it wrong if you so idealize love as the solution to all of lifes
problems, because it not. Jesus Christ is! For without me ye can do nothing.

By definition, love is an unmerited gift, such as the love and care of the good
Samaritan. And Christ commanded, Go, and do thou likewise.

Being loved without meriting it is the very proof of real love.

How to do it

We try to love people and be loved in our own ways and in accordance with our
own rationalization. Therefore we follow the Greek philosophy to categorize love
in four types:

Eros: - Romantic love. Eros is the physical, sensual love between a husband and
wife.

Eros is the love mood whereby impulses of unselfishness and affection manifests
in the human being towards the person he tends to love, without which he might
have been incapable of showing it. It is similar to love but not love per se. seems
in many ways similar to love. It is equally often confused with the pure sex
instinct, which also manifests as a great urge in love.

Phileo: - enjoyment, fondness, friendship. Philia means close friendship or

brotherly love in Greek. Philia describes the benevolence among lovers.

Storge: - familial or affectionate love, family loyalty. Storge is family love, the
bond among mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers.

Agape: - spiritual love, unconditional love that does not bend or wane.

Eros and Philios are often mistaken as the ultimate focus and goal of love, but it is
God Himself manifesting in love, and guiding all believers how to love through the
agape love.

Again, just because we have formed a pre-conceived idea of what should be, we
have unrealistic expectations about what love actually is and what it can do for
us. We come up with another categorization on whom we are to love and who
commands our affection.

No matter who you are, no one is an island, and, neither does anyone fall from
the sky.

Each person belongs to a family, a community, a tribe, or a nation and each one
seek for acceptance, recognition, and some kind of love from these groups and
their sub-sets.

We all need someone to look at us, but getting the right person to look at you is
the million dollar question.

1. The tribe, the public: Public love - We naturally seek attention, notice and
recognition from our tribe and the general public to which we belong.

And we feel bad when we lose the love, the affection, the acceptance,
confidence or positive recognition of the group or people whose
recognition or love we crave.

Unfortunately, many people fail to seek the most crucial recognition and
acceptance: And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill
the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body
in hell. (Mat 10:28).

2. The Socialite: The socialite always wants to be famous, popular, to be

regularly mentioned and reported in the media and social networks. The
infatuated, the obsessed, the captivated and blind lover always thinks love
is blind.

Blindly, without reason and mind, such people crave the attention of the
person they think is in love with them, or the one they tend to love, seeking
to be recognized and looked upon from time to time.

However, God is always there looking at you through the eyes of grace.
Though grace is free, but no doubt, not cheap, it costs Jesus Christ His life
 to give you eternal love and life, removing all the sins, the scars, the guilt,
and shame that fill your life.

And Leah conceived, and bare a son, and she called his name Reuben: for
she said, Surely the LORD hath looked upon my affliction; now therefore
my husband will love me. (Gen 29:32).

3. Possessive Lover: The possessive lover is a person who would not let go the
person with whom she is in love or intimate relationship. They are so
possessive, constantly keeping before their eyes the person they love
because of the phobia of being snatched from them.

However, the day will come when their beloved shall be taken from them
either by death or loss of affection, and the possessive lover is thrown into
darkness and infested with heartache.

Though love refers to an emotion of a strong attraction and personal

attachment, you should be careful who to trust and who to love.

Dont treat the grace of God as meaningless, but looking unto Jesus the
author and finisher of our faith. Grace is Gods riches at Christs expense.
Its a free gift. Just accept it in faith! Looking unto Jesus the author and
finisher of our faith

4. Dream Lover:

She wakes every morning with a smile

on her face.
She felt his love in her sleep.
Dreamed of his embrace.

Although she's never met his body.

His heart she does feel.
Anytime she has loved before.
Has never felt so real.
 These are people who live in the imaginary eyes of those who are not
present. To such people, love describes compassionate and affectionate
actions towards other humans, one's self or other things and people, even
without meeting them.

If I give all I possess to the poor

and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,
[a] but do not have love,
I gain nothing. (1Co 13:3, NIV)
The great mystery of God is made clear unto all men through Jesus Christ.

God gave His only Son for the ransom and redemption of man to enable him
regain lost Paradise, but most men keep turning away from this ready-made offer,
while groping in idolatry, self-management, self-love, and egoism to return to find
love.

No matter how much you spend, how far you go, and what odds you succumb to
win the heart of your loving partner, it will not, and never suffice, as long your
own heart is withheld from God, and your motive for love is not according to God.

The world need to understand that no one can even fall in love without God -
Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is
born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is
love. (1Jn 4:7,8).

Because a big gulf exist between romance and love, and the fact that what really
gave two people reason to love, and continue to show love and affection for each
other, is much more than sheer romance, but of God, then you need first to know
God in order to understand love and how truly to love.

Love is based on a relationship platform that refuses to stop harboring intimate

feelings for his partner, no matter what. Greater love hath no man
than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. (Joh
15:13).

With our human understanding, we often look for passion and romance within
every aspect of our love relationships. Unfortunately, passion and romance are
not the major reasons for love.

How sincere you are, and how much you care about someone, counts a lot to
keep a relationship afloat. Love is something you feel and do, but according to
God.

A powerful friendship, a very close and intimate relationship, or a successful

marriage, does not depend upon the location and allurement of the place where
you met each other, neither does it count upon the richness of the romance while
dating and courting one another.

A wonderful marriage is never determined by the sheer grandiose of the wedding,

where it is held, how wonderfully and resplendently it was conducted, the
attendance of the high and mighty in society, and neither does it depend upon
the wonder of its reception and honeymoon.

A successful loving relationship, a fulfilled wedding, and a happy marriage must

rest solely upon:

1. Both parties keeping the charge of God,

2. Both parties walking always in the way of God,

3. The loving partners keeping the statutes and recommendations of God,

and

4. The partners following or obeying the commandments of God.

Though you might think it cumbersome, legalistic, religious, or just too strict, but
it is the only way, I repeat, the only way to build a truly loving relationship and a
godly and happy home.
Surprisingly, the world is full of broken homes, wrecked marriages,
disenfranchised families, single parents, and unhappy children and parents, all
because of disobedience to the commandments of God.

Disobedience to the rule and commandments of God is at the root of human

failures and unhappiness in life. Since the world has been taken over by the prince
of the air, by Satan and his cohorts, man is being deceived into selfishness and
disobedience to God and His commandments.

Self-will, self-management, and egotism without recourse to God continue to be

the platform from which most men and women undertake serious life matters
and vital personal affairs just because man is endowed with freedom of choice.

In their bid to find happiness and joy, the descendants of Adam abandon God,
sought out their own creativity and inventions through advancement in
education, science and technology.

Sadly for man, there is no enduring joy in all his inventions and no lasting
happiness in every one of his creativity as long as God is not in them. Iniquity and
sin has kept man far away from his Creator.

The earth also is defiled under the inhabitants thereof; because they have
transgressed the laws, changed the ordinance, broken the everlasting covenant.
Therefore hath the curse devoured the earth, and they that dwell therein are
desolate: therefore the inhabitants of the earth are burned, and few men left.
(Isa 24:5,6).

Selfishness, which disregards the welfare and happiness of others, which seek
only after his own, or her own, is always at the root of wrong conduct and
unhappiness in families.

"Many waters cannot quench love, nor will rivers overflow it;

if a man were to give all the riches of his house for love,

it would be utterly despised" (Son 8:7).

7. Love and Growth

The time of young adulthood, a period between the ages of 16 and 21, is a very
special time of life. This is the first time the young man or lady has more freedom
and new privileges than at the time of adolescence.

However, despite the freedom, the youth is equally saddled with serious
responsibilities that may make or mar his future.

New freedom and independence gained provides time for leisure and friendship.
As friendship becomes more intimate, affection grows, dating becomes more
important, and certainly love is in the air.

At this point in time, the young man needs to make choices regarding making
friends, having intimate relationship, and falling in love. You should not make the
mistake of taking physical attraction and infatuation as the major reason for
affection, or to misconstrue sex as love.

Dating usually take off when you find a partner with either the right physical
appearance, popularity or high net-worth family connection, position or place in
community or society, or because of the sheer wealth and other visible qualities
of the individual.

Unfortunately, these are not the qualities that God looks at to forge intimate
relationship between the sexes, and neither should we. God creates both male
and female, man and woman, as complementary partners, not just as opposite
sexes.

Because it takes both man and woman to reflect the image of God in each love
affair and every relationship, you should take all necessary precaution to start
well and obtain a good relationship from the onset.

While marriage offers the finest opportunity for fulfilment in love, the ground
works are laid during young adulthood. Your preparation for life, to live and to
survive actually began during your early life.

Aside from the genetic endowment gained from parents, the good and bad things
learned at home equally aid to form your personality. Those things you learn
within the family, around the environments, at school and in the community form
your character.
Your character has a great deal about your personality, and your personality is
incomplete without the fear of God.

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom:

and the knowledge of the holy is understanding. (Proverbs 9:10).

Teaching is very crucial to learning, but teaching is of no avail without the fear of
God. No man, whoever that man may be or whatever his position of
attainment may be in life and community, no man is wise till he fears
the Lord, and he that fears God is a wise man.
You understand a great deal if you add to your wisdom the knowledge of the
Holy. As you become illumined through positive exposure to the Word of God,
you gain better perception of true love, and you can differentiate between
infatuation, inordinate affection, and sexual gratification.

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear: because fear has
to do with punishment. He that fears is not made perfect in love. (1 Joh
4:18).

Personal growth is very essential in life, and making nonsense of it tells the kind of
future one would have.

Personal growth is a process that enhances your personality and sets you on a
positive stead as a dependable person, reliable man and well-adjusted human
being.

When adequately harnessed and properly applied, positive personal growth aids
tremendously in making you stronger and better as a person as well as setting you
on a path of good human relationship with spouse and colleagues.

Love is a fantastic human tonic which emanates a special kind of energy when you
love sincerely and passionately, it vibrates all through your total being to produce
an abounding and steadfast inner self with joy and peace when handled with
maturity.
Building a better you is the first step to igniting a wonderful love affair.
Immaturity is responsible for much hassles and bustles in love affairs. Adequate
self-improvement and personal growth will enable you cruise safely through love
paths for appreciable length of time.
You love better and understand deeper if you are adequately harnessed with self-
development and personal growth qualities. You are equally at vantage points to
achieve lifes greatest riches which include success, happiness, and peace of mind.
A vital aspect of life is to win the respect of truly intelligent guild and the
appreciation of fiery unfriendly but honest critics, to be able to find the best in
others and endure the betrayal of friendly foes.
With uncommon enthusiasm, the well-developed man and woman has discovered
himself, practically and mentally prepared himself before setting forth on his
purposeful journey of life.
Though his pathways in life may be rough and the journey tough, the well-
developed man firmly and decidedly organized his effort, buoyed with resolute
determination and perseverance with focus to attain his objective in life.
With creative imagination, applied knowledge, and friendly cooperation, the well-
developed man has learnt how to love, when to display affection, how to be
intimate with an unfriendly wife without any iota of hypocrisy, and the ways and
means to satisfy family and children with joy, in the midst of needs and wants.
The well-developed man has attained happiness and peace of mind not because
of his educational attainment, not his prosperous and aristocratic background.
He has grown and developed not just because of good physical wholeness, nor
just because of reliable friendly cooperation, but mainly because he has
developed himself to be one of the faithful favored few that consecrate to walk
with the Lord and work for the Master.
The main essence of life is not just to seek what we desire out of life, obtain them
anyway and anyhow, and relish in them out of greed and egoism. Rather, being
able to love universally or unconditionally is the basis of a good life.
Stephen, the martyr, was full of faith and power, and did great wonders and
miracles among the people of Israel through love and unalloyed dedication to
their salvation. Different types of love exist but we all know when love was not
hypocritical.
Rather than appreciate him, Israel stoned Stephen to death claiming that he was a
sinner. Different kinds of righteousness exist and they are not all the same. The
righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees is self-righteousness, righteousness by
self-effort, external righteousness which is void of right or godly motives.
Though the persecutors stoned him to death, Stephen did not die in anger, agony
or in bitter hatred, but rather still demonstrated love to his persecutors even to
the point of praying for their forgiveness.
In life, sanctified Stephen saw the Lord strengthening and standing by him; at
death, he saw the Lord assuring him and standing to welcome him into heaven.
What a good way to live and die!

And he kneeled down, and cried with a loud voice,

Lord, lay not this sin to their charge.
Only genuine Christian faith, the true salvation of Christ continually glowing in the
heart of man, and a surpassing assurance and hope of heaven will enable a man
to love to the point of sacrificing ones total self for friends and foes, and to utter
such prayer of love and deep affection in ones dying moment for his killers.

Love is never true until it leads to the cross. Sensual attraction, intimate
relationship, and mutuality would lead to marital failure sooner or later when
Christ is not in it.

Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which
destroyeth kings. (Pro 31:3)

For she hath cast down many wounded: yea, many strong men have
been slain by her. Her house is the way to hell, going down to the
chambers of death. (Pro 7:26,27).

Did not Solomon king of Israel sin by these things? yet among
many nations was there no king like him, who was beloved of his
God, and God made him king over all Israel: nevertheless even
him did outlandish women cause to sin. (Neh 13:26).
Growth and maturity, not only in physique and morality, but also in the spirit is
very essential for any lasting relationship. No matter your level of faith, the love
and fear of the Lord is needed in our lives to bring about spiritual maturity in
order to depart from iniquity, to cling to God at all times, and to love spouse,
family and friends adequately.
Love is not all goody-goody, you need to grow up and develop into maturity to
adequately handle courtship, engagement, marriage and lasting relationship within the
family. We all need adequate spiritual and emotional level of growth and maturity at all
stages of life.
8. Love and the World

The power of love between the sexes could be so desirable, and yet so disastrous.

It is usually a wonderful experience when two loving buds collide. Like a budding
flowery plant, young people in love easily get animated and attractive. But are
they ready to pollinate and reproduce just like that?

You can never miss it when new couple gets enthralled with each others
company, you can always figure it out that 'love is in the air, but what kind of
love?

Initially it could be very promising, but it may lead to dismal consequences when
it fails, or cause heart ache when broken or denied.

There is bound to be sorrow, sadness, disappointment and frustration when the

profession of love between friends turn out to be untrue.

Worldliness and its system have made sinful inroads into love affairs, leading to
deception, untruth, and ungodly affection. It has broken many hearts, separated
friendships, and scattered homes and families because it is neither pure nor
divine.

When your sense of right and wrong is programmed solely by the ideas of man,
by human and ungodly spiritual forces, it will be difficult for you not to be
unselfish in your dealings.

Worldliness is the pervasive evil system of this world as dictated by Satan and
promoted by evil forces.

All kinds of conformity with this worldly system and worldly practices in taste,
lifestyle, character, disposition, language, fashion, passion, dressing, amusements,
and recreation are the ways of the world, and are in stark contrast to the way of
God.

Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world.

If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.

For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes,
and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. (1Jn 2:15,16).

Worldliness begins in the heart as a covert, secret, and inward liking of the fad,
fancies and fashions of the world. Gradually and subtly, the heart becomes drawn
unto the fads and fancies of the world until it becomes its innate affection, and it
difficult or impossible to love in truth and in the way of God.

Once your heart begins to yearn after the trends, passions, and fashions of the
contemporary world, you are already caught in the web of worldliness.

If the way you befriend someone, or your approach towards courtship, wedding,
and marriage attracts the traditions, styles, conduct and ungodly displays of the
world, then the love of The father is no longer in you, and you cannot love in truth
according to the love of God.

According to the model handed unto our first parents, loving relationships
requires commitment and perseverance to make it successful.

As long as the affections are genuine and the expression of interest made
according to the Spirit of God, the emotions of love must eventually give way to
the deeper commitments of loving behaviour by the two partners for mature
friendship and intimate partnership.

The resultant effect is that the relationship would glow and blossom as the
partners work collectively and individually towards the same end, for the same
goals and objectives.

Coming to God through the grace of salvation is the first meaningful step anyone
could take before he embarks on any worthwhile life project. Your redemption is
possible through repentance and genuine salvation.

You need a clear understanding of the inspired Word of God to obtain salvation
and transformation into the similitude of Christ. When you make God your Father
through His grace of salvation, His love for you begins to manifest in your
character to Him and fellow mankind.

He will fulfil the good desires of your heart. It is the will of God that all His
children have good marriage as well as a happy, fulfilled fruitful life.
Your perfect knowledge of God makes you to do His will. You are brought to
understand true love by the special grace of God. True love thus becomes the
basis of your friendship, courtship and marriage.

In marriage two people have come to be one flesh sharing in good times, bad
times, and in difficult times until in death. A marriage partner fills many needs
beside the physical one of satisfying sexual desire.

Civil law, customs, tradition, and social evolution may legally dissolve or divorce
in marriage, but marriage, according to God, is a solemn mutual agreement
between a man and woman to live together as husband and wife. God holds them
to that covenant bond and will not free them from it.

Now when I passed by thee, and looked upon thee,

behold, thy time was the time of love;

and I spread my skirt over thee, and covered thy nakedness:

yea, I sware unto thee, and entered into a covenant with thee,

saith the Lord GOD, and thou becamest mine. (Eze 16:8).

True love comes from a pure heart, a good conscience, and a sincere faith. A
person with a good conscience maintains his integrity and strives to be upright in
his conduct as well as in his loving.

Rather than follow the path of the world, or walk in the ways of the scornful, your
good conscience guides you into choosing right from wrong and be free from
guilt. You enjoy loving relationship, courtship, and marriage with a partner of like
mind who with walk in the light of the gospel.
9. Conscience

The conscience of a man is an important part of him.

It is your conscience that gives approval or disapproval to your actions, your

inactions, and all other aspects of your life which may not come into the open.

Traditions, cultural values, norms and mores, moral values, beliefs, assumptions
and presumptions are ideas we unquestionably accept as true, but are basically
influenced and ingrained upon our minds by ungodly forces within our society.

Basically most of life is lived through these ungodly forces of culture and
traditions as they evolve and transcend in the face of science, technology, societal
upheavals and transformations.

It is the way of the world, and not of God, which beclouds our consciences with so
much iniquity, ungodliness and sinfulness. These ungodly practices become the
norm because we are so used to them. Make the lie big, make it simple,
keep saying it, and eventually they will believe it. (Adolf Hitler).
There is a God-given moral consciousness within each of us, but the conscience
become ineffective from the moment it is seared by the owner. Your conscience
becomes seared as you chose without restraint to do things contrary to the gentle
suggestions of your conscience.

We tend to associate, befriend, love, and romanticise with this sinful conscience,
taking it to be right, correct, socially acceptable, and the rightful way.

Because your true opinion with the outside world is registered in your conscience,
unrighteous thoughts and motives can never escape your consciences
observation, though these may not be known to the outside world.

While you may get all that are good and decent out of life through talents, gifts,
enlightenment, position, experience, ability, and heredity, you need a clear
conscience to possess inner peace and joy over life attainments.

As the hub of human personality that produces the things we would ordinarily
ascribe to the mind, the human heart is a repository for good and evil from
where come good thoughts, bad words, ideal opinion, and misguided suggestions.
A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that
which is good;
and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth
that which is evil:
for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh. (Luk 6:45).
A man who disregards God, who disobeys His truth, and has no good
consideration for mankind will definitely feel guilty being so, and would possess
an evil and sinful conscience.

While he may cover it up from fellow mankind, such a man is full of fear while
expecting punishment for his evil deeds, for his sinfulness and for his lack of
genuine love.

The word of God is the only good and indispensable companion by

which all humans could obtain a clear conscience.
When we love God, there is no doubt we would love fellow mankind. The good
conscience is opposed to the seared conscience. Ones conscience is the state of
the sensibility of the person, his ability for remorse or approbation

The conscience is placed upon the mind of all beings as a moral watchdog to
guide us or prompt us into doing godly and rightful things, to make choices and
decisions according to the Spirit and Word of God.

The greater our knowledge of God becomes the greater becomes our love for
Him. The greater our fear in terms of obedience, adoration and respect for God,
the bigger grows our love for fellow mankind, and the purer our conscience.

Whenever we veer from the path of truth or the way of God, the conscience
intervenes in a gentle way from the mind to caution and top offer better action.
All these takes place within the mind of the person.

Since a man's conscience, like a warning line on the highway, tells him what he
shouldn't do -- but it does not keep him from doing it, (F.A. Clark), man
gradually begins to refuse the commands of God, doing his personal will and
walking in his own way. The gentle voice of the conscience is spurned until it gets
neglected and unheard of, seared, that is rendered insensitive.

Just as the hide of an animal scarred with a branding iron becomes numb to
further pain, so the heart of an individual with a seared conscience is desensitized
to moral pangs. Such people do not know the meaning of true love.

A pure conscience is the result of a life that has imbibed the knowledge of God
through His word. A pure conscience is the result of a life that loves God with
reverence and obedience, and loves fellow men without dissimulation.

Your personality and character towards God also dictates your attitude towards
mankind. The way you love God determines the way you will love mankind, and
this kind of personality determines the way you maintain love relationship and
marital life.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not
proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily
angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always
hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails.

Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers

and adulterers God will judge. Therefore shall a man leave his father
and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one
flesh.

Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and
let every woman have her own husband.

People whose conscience has become seared enter into so-called love affair or
relationship just for the fun of it. They are not ashamed of the sinfulness of
fornication or adultery, and they commit sexual abuse and immorality not
actuated by love, and without compunction.

A seared conscience is one whose warning voice has been suppressed

and perverted habitually, so that eventually instead of serving as a
guide, it only confirms the person in his premeditatedly evil course.
(Robert J. Little).
10. Sex and Permissive Will

Sex and love is never the same thing.

Fornication, adultery, premarital sex, and sexual affairs with another wife or
second husband while the godly ordained first wife/husband is alive are all sinful
and could not be counted as love.

Sexual intercourse is part of the marriage ordinance. However, it is only not sinful
as long as it happens within the context of the Bible the word of God.

Pre-marital sex is sinful and a very poor foundation for the young man or young
lady to build a strong family structure. Pre-marital sex and extra-marital sex are
sinful, and hinder the desire of God to give every man and woman a good home
and family.

While sex and pornography are gaining ground in modern life, the standard of
God for marriage and His demand for moral uprightness remains the same.
Premarital sex, extramarital sex, pornography and homosexuality are never in
conformity with the commandment of God.

Such indecent acts are self-seeking in permissive will, indecent behavior, unruly,
unkind, ungodly, unholy, and can never be true love. Because it abominable
before God, all those who practice them will be punished.

Many homes and families are in trouble, difficulties, and in the throes of
disaffection and unsettlement today because they have sown bad seeds as the
very root of their love, marital, and family life.

Whatever you sow, you will reap. Whether it is good or bad,

whatever you sow you will reap.
Before you can sow in an acceptable way, you must first give your heart to God
and be born again. Before you can love, you must love in the way acceptable to
God and in a pattern that is pleasing unto man. You must first love God and be
born again to do His will always.
When you sow with a willing heart, and love according to His commandments,
God will reward you. He will provide you a helpmeet for husband or wife, a bone
of your own bone, a flesh of your own flesh.

Love -- human love and sexuality is wonderful, and blessed by God :

Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers
and adulterers God will judge. (Heb 13:4).
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave
unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. (Gen 2:24).
Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and
let every woman have her own husband. (1Co 7:2).
For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her
husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed
from the law of her husband.
So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she
shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from
that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another
man. (Rom 7:2,3).

The will of God must be first and foremost obtained in clear terms before you
indulge in loving relationship with another person. This is why it is very important
to be a child of God to receive the best from our heavenly Father.

If we turn away from God, whatever He grants for us out of our willful desire will
actually get to us but without His blessing.

Then all the leaders of Israel gather themselves together, and came to Samuel
unto Ramah, And said unto him, Behold thou art old, and thy sons walk not in
thy ways: now make us a king to judge us like all the nations. (1Sam 8:4,5).

And the Lord said unto Samuel, Hearken unto the voice of the people in all that
they say unto thee: for they have not rejected thee, but they have rejected me,
that I should not reign over them. (1Sam 8:7).
Reliable demographic statistical reports point out that fewer and fewer people go
to church regularly or give their time to the cause of God. Social activities and
over-indulgence in personal interests has taken over.

Nevertheless, Christians who go to church regularly, who strive to become

genuine Christians, who take issues of spiritual growth and Christian service
seriously are devout, and it shows in their character and life.

The Bible as the Word of God establishes the truth that God is sovereign over the
life of all His children and all His work of creation. He is in absolute control and is
the ultimate cause of all things.

He gives all human the freedom to choose as we like, though He teaches and
shows us the right way to follow. Knowing Gods right way, and choosing to walk
in the wrong way is self-will. Self-will is disobedience to God and amounts to sin.

Meeting a nice man or a beautiful lady at the party, school, college, church, or
any social event, who might eventually become a friend, an intimate friend and
lover, and later a wife or husband, is common, and many couples set up their
homes this way.

You could have met an awesome match for husband at the party, or by
providence, come across a girl at a Valentines Day event, who later becomes a
close friend, lover, and turns out later as your wonderful wife.

It may seem okay, it may be a popular method in marriage that works, after all,
almost everyone get married that way. But, is God really in it?

When you go against God, you effectively remove His covering and protection
from above you. Working and walking contrary to the will of God leaves you
exposed to the whims and caprices of Satan and his cohorts.

O Israel, thou hast destroyed thyself; but in me is thy help. I will be thy king:
where is any other that may save thee in all thy cities? And thy judges of whom
thou sadist, Give me a king and princes? I gave thee a king in mine anger, and
took him away in my wrath. (Hos 13:9 11).
1. Marriage is a very major aspect of human life through which we choose a
life partner with whom you will spend a very long part of your entire
existence. You should, therefore, do it right, as there is only one life to live
on earth.
2. Allow the will of God to prevail rather than your self-will. Let the truth of
God guide you over and above inordinate affection, or permissive will.
3. Marriage under selfish pretenses and in the guise of Gods permissive will is
dangerous and laced with the judgment of God, sooner or later.
4. Your relationship with the opposite sex must clearly be according to the
rule and commandments of God.
5. Your motives and desires for coming together in love must be for the true
and right reasons without hypocrisy and pretense.
6. The tendency and attempt to force the hand of God through prayer and
fasting without righteousness, so that you could marry someone already
determined and concluded in your heart, will definitely backfire later in life.
7. Always labor at the onset to marry according to the perfect will of God
rather than suffer the consequence of not doing His will later in life.
8. God has provided a right wife for every bachelor and an adequate husband
to each spinster. All you need do is to find out from God who your life
partner is.
9. Seek Him in prayer of faith, choose your partner in accordance with the
Holy Scriptures, and let the Spirit of God reveal unto you and not your own
self-will.
10.And he said, O LORD God of my master Abraham, I pray thee, send me
good speed this day, and shew kindness unto my master Abraham.
Behold, I stand here by the well of water; and the daughters of the men of
the city come out to draw water:
And let it come to pass, that the damsel to whom I shall say, Let down thy
pitcher, I pray thee, that I may drink; and she shall say, Drink, and I will
give thy camels drink also:
let the same be she that thou hast appointed for thy servant Isaac; and
thereby shall I know that thou hast shewed kindness unto my master.
 And it came to pass, before he had done speaking, that, behold, Rebekah
came out, who was born to Bethuel, son of Milcah, the wife of Nahor,
Abraham's brother, with her pitcher upon her shoulder. (Gen 24:12-15).
He who waits upon God waits in faith. Persevere in faith to obtain your
rightful godly partner from God at the due time, never be in a hurry with
God.
It is presumptuous to insist on receiving before due time, what God intends
to keep in trust for us till an appointed time.
11. You must be rest assured to enthrone Jesus Christ as King and Ruler over all
your life. He is the only One who will match you with the right partner that
will give you peace and joy in your marriage.

Self-will attracts divine displeasure.

When you put your trust in God, when you obey Him, when you follow Him in
faith and truth, and when you do His will in truth and in spirit, you will definitely
receive His abundant blessing.

The LORD shall command the blessing upon thee in thy storehouses, and in all
that thou settest thine hand unto; and he shall bless thee in the land which the
LORD thy God giveth thee.

The LORD shall establish thee an holy people unto himself, as he hath sworn
unto thee, if thou shalt keep the commandments of the LORD thy God, and walk
in his ways. (Deu 28:8,9).
11. Marriage

Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself;
and the wife see that she reverence her husband. (Eph 5:33)

Foundations in Marriage

Marriage is a union between a man and his wife as ordained by God at creation,
as a replica of the perfect union that exists between Christ and His church.
Therefore, the marriage institution, as ordained by God, is higher than tradition
and bigger than culture, civilization, or reason.

Successful marriages are becoming an increasingly rare commodity nowadays, yet

the design of God for man and His purpose for setting up the marriage institution
remains to forge a perfect intimate union between husband and wife such as it
exists between Christ and the Church.

It is paramount for the husband to shower true love and sacrificial care for the
wife according to the commandment of God. It is also required of the wife to be
totally loyal and submissive to her husband in the godly sense according to the
Bible.

How can you the wife submit in a godly sense to her husband, and how can the
husband truly love the wife according to the Word of God if both are not
genuinely born again, that is, not equally yoked?

No matter how you feel about God, about the Bible, and about Christianity and
genuine Christians, lessons for love and right tutelage on love, relationships,
successful marriage and a happy home has been given by God to man right from
creation, and it is in the Bible.

Marital failures and loss of true affection between spouses and couples in
intimate relationships are due to too much emphasis placed on sex, premarital
intercourse, fornication, adultery, media hype, and pornography, which
contradict the purpose for which God instituted marriage in the Garden of Eden.
The true measure of a successful marriage is not in its abundant material
possessions but the quality of godly fear, true love, care, submission, and
fellowship that exist in the relationship, and the Bible helps a great deal to get you
there.

Some people find their marriages as a necessary battle of the sexes, others call it
a contract between two unequal partners, and some others see it as a very
essential unavoidable evil.

However, marriage is essentially a union of two interesting partners who have

resolved and consecrated themselves through the power of God to live together
for better and for worse, and never to separate from each other until death
comes.

It is The Lords command that the wife submit herself according to the Bible to
her husband. Her husband must also love, care, and cherish his wife as Jesus
Christ also loves the church, and gave Himself for it.

Foundation is very vital to any structure that will endure and pass the test of time
in this life. Marriage is so important in life because it determines the kind of life
you would live throughout your adulthood till death. Marriage defines your kind
of life-partner, and points to the way you procreate and build up your next
generation.

Definitely God must have seen much in marriage for each human being to have
made it the very first institution established for man during the creation week.

However, the great controversy between God and Satan, between truth and
falsehood, between good and bad, and between righteousness and sinfulness,
has clumsy so much about life. You can either choose to be of God or of Satan.

Many choices made by man are blurred, unclear, and unsure of the path to which
it would lead. Yet, you must make the right move or take the right action at the
right time in selecting who to love, who to marry, and with whom you will spend
the rest of your adult life.
Marriage Principles and Ethics

Christian ethics and principles are well-grounded foundations enshrined in the

Bible and patterned according to the life and teachings of Jesus Christ. It is upon
these foundations that the hope and faith of the righteous is built.

The righteous is called out of the world unto a holy pilgrimage to the city of
Heaven where God abides. While he has chosen God over Satan, righteousness
over sinfulness, godliness over worldliness, he must be careful not to compromise
his calling, and not to jeopardize his faith by his love life.

While he has identified Satan and the world as the antagonist of Christ, and
equally as his own antagonist, the Christian should no longer be terrified by these
enemies, because he must always be battle-ready to take them on and overcome
in the name of Jesus Christ.

Therefore, the greatest challenge to a genuine Christian is no longer the foe,

Satan and his cohorts, but how not to compromise with the world, how not to
mingle with the world and fall into the hands of Satan.

Once the Christian falls into the wiles and evil devices of Satan, he would lose his
right to Paradise like Eve, like Cain, like Rehoboam, like Ahab, and so on.

All genuine Christians with focus on Heaven need to be conscious of his friends,
who may turn out to be wolves in sheeps clothing. It is these friends that would
tempt him, task his faith, and attempt to derail him from his pilgrimage journey.

Christian! seek not yet repose,

Hear thy guardian angel say;
Thou art in the midst of foes;
Watch and pray.

Principalities and powers,

Mustering their unseen array,
Wait for thy unguarded hours;
Watch and pray.
He must learn to turn away from such friends who may pose as caring and
friendly, but would turn around to spite the believer. From such, turn away.

Friendly foe is a great danger to genuine Christians. Knowing his stance for
righteousness and Bible standards, friendly foes will strive to goad him unto
worldliness, they would lead him unto unbelief rather them support his stand for
righteousness.

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath
righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with
darkness?

And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth
with an infidel?

And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of
the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I
will be their God, and they shall be my people.

Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and
touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you,

And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the
Lord Almighty. (2Co 6:14-18)

Marriage is the second most important decision anyone ever makes. Love, dating
and marriage define your life, and have a lot to do with how you end the life here
on earth, and where you will spend eternity.

But, because many people take life as an essential risk or a needful gamble, they
make very wrong decisions and take seriously unwise steps when it matters most.

And Samson went down to Timnath, and saw a woman in Timnath of the
daughters of the Philistines.

And he came up, and told his father and his mother, and said, I have seen a
woman in Timnath of the daughters of the Philistines: now therefore get her for
me to wife. (Jdg 14:1,2).
Then went Samson to Gaza, and saw there an harlot, and went in unto her.
(Jdg 16:1).

Samson's supernatural strength was truly spectacular but his choice of loving,
marriage and relationship was very disastrous.

The only reason for your existence is to so love God and live well for Him in this
life so that you would be ushered into His Kingdom in the afterlife. If this is not
your goal in life, I am terribly sorry, you would only have to waste this only one
life of yours and regret later throughout eternity.

Having decided we are going to spend eternity with Jesus, we need to be very
much concerned about the kind of person with whom we spend this life here so
that you would not miss heaven.

This is where and why marriage as an institution and a perfect why of life is of
importance to God and crucial to all. Love relationship and marriage with a
person who does not share you faith and Christian beliefs amounts to being
unequally yoked, and could cause great havoc.

Three fundamental principles in marriage are Conviction, Courage, and

Constancy.

Conviction: The key to gaining self-control is yielding control of the self to the
control of the Holy Spirit." (Rhonda H. Kelley). Your conviction in the efficacy of
the atoning blood of Christ is the only lead into essential help of the Holy Spirit
out of temptation.

You cannot possess the essential conviction in the power of God and in His
leading light as long as you remain in sinfulness and unconverted from the
systems of the world.

Only those who are genuinely saved from sinfulness and iniquity are the bona-fide
children of God, who can shout Abba Father to escape out of all challenges of
life.
The first step towards real freedom is realization of our state of mind and
thorough confession to God and renunciation before God. Sheer religiosity which
does not lead to repentance, righteousness and practical holiness is worthless in
the sight of God.

Such religion, even if it is called Christianity, will damn the soul in the eternal lake
of fire. It is only when you genuinely repent of your sins, forsake them through
faithful believe on the Lord Jesus Christ that you can receive the son-ship of God.

You can only live in true love and free from anger when you turn your life to God
and leave everything under His control. You accept whatever He gives, and give
up all the sinful things He takes away from your life.

Jesus Christ is the only One who can forgive your sins, who can save your soul,
and can transform your life to live constantly under the control of the Holy Spirit.
He will lead you through genuine love and true relationship into eternal life.

Courage: The world is filled with so much iniquity, temptations and trials.
Making good choices is a challenge as one is often tempted to turn from the right.
We long for courage and strength to choose aright and love true and through.

Courage to do what is right, getting friendly or intimate with another person, or to

choose a life partner includes doing the right thing even though you are
confronted with fear of being mistaken, fear of being ridiculed, or the worry of
being rejected.

If love is the essence of life, how can you live without love?

If love is the essence of the Gospel, how can you love the Master without loving
mankind?

You cannot truly love God if you do not love your fellow mankind.

You cannot fully love your fellowmen if you do not love God, the Father of all
mankind. The just shall live by faith. It is courage that fuels the most noted
examples of Christian witness and faith.
Love is an embodiment of godly virtues such as kindness, patience, selflessness,
understanding, forgiveness, endurance, longsuffering, faith and truthfulness.

Your courage in faith to keep Gods commandment in love one another will
enable you treat each other with kindness and respect.

It is natural to love our children and siblings because familiar blood runs through
our veins, and we share same gene.

Romantic love and affection does not cost us much because of expected sexual
gratification.

Philanthropic deeds are desirable for the inherent benefit of recognition and
appreciation.

However, it takes courage to love deeply, sacrificially, and selflessly, as Christ love
the Church and gave Himself for it. The courage to love with unsentimental
compassion is what set true and genuine lovers apart from those who
demonstrate love and affection for the purpose of erotic lustfulness, sexual
gratifications, material gains or social applaud.

Constancy: And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of
perfectness. (Col 3:14).

Life could only be good and good life will only come as you make learning how to
love your primary objective, your greatest ambition, and your life purpose.

Make love your life purpose, honest living your purpose in life, and above all, put
on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. That explains the
true way to constantly flow in love and peace of mind constantly in life.

It is very difficult to build a happy home and mould a peaceful family without
constancy in love. However, when you have Christ and His genuine salvation you
would possess marital faithfulness, which is faithful love for ones spouse,
children, friend, colleague and community.
This is different from the narrower idea of sexual fidelity and romantic affections.
Cultural values and traditions often fail to uphold commitment to faithfully in
accordance to marital vows, no matter how much we try.

However, when the love of Christ has saturated the heart and His salvation has
entered the life, spouses and lovers will find it convenient to have and to hold
from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer; in sickness and
in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part.

While the world glamorize sexuality and sex roles in love relationships, while we
hear so much about romance and have erotic movies in piles at the cinema and
videos, they all sulk and are far from real such wishful thinking is mostly found
in fairy tales.

Never accept that love is all sex and romance. It is love which validates your faith
and prove that you are really are a child of God. It is our constancy in following
Jesus that makes us show our love for Him and mankind, and make us stronger
than our foes, and against all disaster.

It is your genuine love for Christ that keeps you strong and keeps you going when
trials come, when temptations swoons upon you, when the road ends, when the
emotional earthquakes hit, when the financial hurricanes stir, and when all of the
tribulations of life batter you.

It is utterly impossible to be hateful and claim to be a child of God,

for we cannot love God, whom we have not seen,

if we do not love others, whom we have seen.

Our present world is full of people who make choices as a result of compromise
with popular opinion, people love to be with the crowd or blend with the masses,
and people who take action just because I just have to do something anyway.

When self-control and personal discipline has become eroded from the lifestyle of
the populace, how then can we have people of conviction, courage, and
constancy?
No matter how you look at it, it always pays to serve Jesus. However, genuine
Christians must maintain their separateness from the world and its system.
Christians must raise the standard in holiness and righteous living, and develop
core self-control measures, especially in choosing a life partner.
 12. Marriage and Worldliness

Disparities and major differences in personality, personal expectations, traits and

faith are good grounds enough to discontinue a relationship or not to start it at
all.

Unfortunately most love affairs, relationships, and marriages took off from the
dancing floor when emotions are high, when the brain is numb, and at times
when good reason and sensible judgment must have been thrown into the winds.

After the time of Joshua, the nation of Israel went their own ways and walked
according to their own selfish will and permissive life-style rather than the way of
God.

During the time of the judges, Israel as a whole did what was right in their own
eyes. This state of habitual selfishness and idolatry were the circumstances into
which Samson was born.

And he came up, and told his father and his mother, and said,

I have seen a woman in Timnath of the daughters of the Philistines:

now therefore get her for me to wife.

Then his father and his mother said unto him,

Is there never a woman among the daughters of thy brethren, or among all my
people, that thou goest to take a wife of the uncircumcised Philistines?

And Samson said unto his father, Get her for me; for she pleaseth me well. (Jdg
14:2,3).

Utter disregard for godly parental counsel and infatuation made Samson to show
contempt and disdain for Gods strict warning all of Israel, and especially
Nazarenes like himself, should not marry or enter into love relationship with
idolatrous Canaanites.
Born and chosen for the special purpose of delivering his nation Israel from the
oppression of the Philistines, Samson squandered his holy calling and godly
ministry on the altar of inordinate affection.

Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.

Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is
enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy
of God. (1Co 15:33; Jas 4:4).

Many relationships and marriages began casually at subtly arranged meetings,

clandestine meetings of the two parties, or through the outright plan of
matchmakers.

Because a pre-determined goal had been placed before the natural effect of
affection and genuine love, the two parties becomes confused, they would strive
to co-habit and try to love where there was no true affection or love, until the
bubble would burst eventually.

Usually we build it up, with the hope that it will work somehow, If the
foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do? Money, position, power
or fame, or a good mix of these could be used to spice it up, but joy and
happiness are not found therein, the relationship will never work without God.

It was Eve, the wife of Adam, which initially compromised the commandment of
God. She fed the disobedience unto her husband, and, through the two sinning
parents, Paradise was lost.

Abraham had a good and godly wife in Sarah. Despite delays and challenges,
better understanding and unity prevailed to aid Abraham fulfill his calling, and
Sarah also received her blessings.

Remember Lots wife. Her disobedience to the commandment of God when she
looked back out of lust and covetousness for material wealth left behind in
Sodom, turned her into a pillar of salt.
She already escaped but ungrateful for her miraculous deliverance. She would
have saved the family from the incest of Lots daughters with their father, and
would have prevented the abominations of Ammon and Moab.

While the going was good, Jobs wife was good and great as well. When Job lost
everything under the affliction of Satan, Madam Job came out in her true colors.
She became an adviser of evil, telling her husband, Do you still retain your
integrity, curse God and die.

Samson was born with a godly purpose to deliver Israel from the oppressive
hands of the Philistines, but inordinate affection and bad choice in marriage put
paid to all that. He died prematurely in the hands of his enemies.

King Solomon began his reign with the fear of God but outlandish women and
idolatrous wives derailed him till he was rejected by God.

Jezebel, the daughter of Ethbal, was truly devoted to Baal, one of the major
Canaanite idolatrous gods. Her marriage to King Ahab, the king of Israel, led him
to forsake God for Baal.

He turned from God to serve idols. He accorded the priests of Baal and afflicted
those who serve God. There was no one like Ahab who sold himself to do
wickedness in the sight of the Lord, because Jezebel his wife stirred him up. (1
Kin 21:25), and made him to do more evil in the sight of the Lord than all who
were before him."

The present need to feel loved by someone to whom one has affection and
admiration may seem the right signal to start intimate relationship or marry.
However, it has been proved over and over again that love is blind, but marriage
is an eye-opener. There is much more to love than the eye can see.

The world may be doing it, getting caught while doing it, and seeking for one
escape route or another, but that is the way of the world, and definitely, not the
pattern of God for the Christian.

No matter how many changes may occur in traditions, customs and culture, in
social evolvement and social transformation, the ideal marriage as ordained by
God is a marital vow between a man and a woman, to live together as one flesh
till death comes.

Elizabeth Taylor was beautiful, rich, famous, and powerful as an actress. Starting
her acting career as a little child of 12, Liz Taylor rose in the movie industry and
social life to be regarded as the "greatest movie star of all.

As one of the first major stars to pose nude in Playboy Magazine, Liz Taylor set the
trend for fashion, the media, and social lifestyle. She was married eight times to
seven husbands. Is that life success or failure?

Cary Grant, another idol of the movie world, who later became a very successful
business magnate, had several wives in succession, but only one child, Jennifer.
Did Cary Grant ever married for love through his many successive marriages?

The tabloids, media and history books are used to feeding us with news and
innuendoes about people in the limelight. Love stories are popular, but one thing
rings clear through those stories - true love is never for sale.

Sir Rupert Murdoch split in 1999 from his wife, Anna, after 32 odd years of
marital bliss, and settle for almost $1.7 billion in payout. Did he get much
comfort?

Sir Murdoch has chosen to remarry two times after that settlement. Has he
suddenly found true love with the third knot?

Prince Charles of Wales and Camilla Parker Bowles had been close friends who
had been dating each other since the 1970s right through to their marriage in
2005 and beyond.

In 1973 Camilla marries Andrew Parker Bowles who she had been dating on and
off for several years. Charles ties the knot himself in 1981.

Prince Charles also wed Diana Spencer in a spectacular wedding held at Londons
St Pauls Cathedral in 1981. It was the wedding of the century, watched by
estimated 750 million people across the globe, but it was just a media stunt at the
end.
Despite their respective marriages, it was open secret that the Prince of Wales
and Camilla Parker Bowles continue to be linked together.

Prince Charles and Princess Diana separated in 1992, and finally divorced in 1996.

Camilla split from her husband in 1995. Princess Diana was killed in a tragic car
accident in France in 1997.

Two years later, in 1999, Prince Charles and Camilla started stepping out together
as a couple. In February 2005 the couples announce that theyre engaged and
married just two months later. She was honored with the royal title, the Duchess
of Cornwall.

King Edward VIII of Great Britain, Ireland and British Dominions, was also the
Head of the Church of England. As Prince of Wales, the future King had been in
strings of amorous relationships with married women, but the Palace, the
Anglican Communion, or the British government could not curtail it.

Before he mounted the throne after the demise of his father, King George V, the
new King had been in very close adulterous relationship with Mrs. Wallis Simpson,
an American citizen and wife of British shipping executive Ernest Aldrich Simpson,
and the newly enthroned monarch could not cut off the relationship.

Every king must have a queen, and King Edward VIII opted to marry his mistress,
despite serious warning and counsel for reason from close confidants that such a
step could be calamitous.

The government, the church and the people expressed discomfort about the
kings rumored intention to marry Mrs. Simpson, considered as a promiscuous
divorcee with some sort of unusual influence over the king, he was strongly
informed to put his duty before his feelings and stay off from the American
woman.

In the midst of a prolonged political storm across the land, King Edward VIII, at
Fort Belvedere, on 10 December 1936, signed his written abdication from the
throne to marry Mrs. Wallis Simpson.
The monarch abdicated from his throne despite his fame, power, position,
popularity, and prosperity, in addition to essential duties to church and state just
because his heart and affection was set on a divorced and currently married
American woman, and would want to marry her.

For him and the lady, the Bible was set aside, and the word of God was ignored.
The king became the Duke of Windsor, left the throne, and lived the rest of his life
with this woman, despite the command of Jesus Whosoever shall marry her
that is divorced committeth adultery.

Lessons from Worldliness in Marriage

The catastrophe which befell King Edward VIII, Prince Charles of Wales,
Elizabeth Taylor, Cary Grant, Sir Rupert Murdoch, Samson, King Solomon, and a
host of very many people on marriage and adultery is as common as men on
earth.

Despite its common trend, fornication and adultery remains sins strongly
forbidden by God.

Thou shalt not commit adultery. (Exo 20:14).

Moreover thou shalt not lie carnally with thy neighbour's wife, to defile
thyself with her. (Lev 18:20).

Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not
commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman
to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
(Mat 5:27,28).
And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry
another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away
her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery. (Mar
10:11,12).
Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers
and adulterers God will judge. (Heb 13:4).
Fornication and adultery have gained less coinage in use nowadays as a result
permissive lifestyle in today's world. But immorality, however commonplace, is a
sin that will keep millions of people out of heaven, unless they repent.

Though hand join in hand, the wicked shall not be unpunished: but the seed of
the righteous shall be delivered. (Pro 11:21).

Adultery, fornication and all sorts of sexual behavior outside marriage is sinful and
endanger legal and sanctioned godly relationship. It also open the door to
disgrace and ridicule, illegitimate offspring, and broken home.

When a believer stoops low into sinfulness and commits adultery by joining his
body in sexual relationship with a harlot immoral personality, the person is in
principle joining the Lord to that immoral person.

Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the
members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid.
What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two,
saith he, shall be one flesh. (1Co 6:15,16).

Since fornication, adultery, incest, all kinds of lewdness, and every kind of
unlawful sexual intercourse are forbidden by God, they are all sinful unto Him.
Neither fornicators nor adulterers will enter the kingdom of heaven.

Therefore, all forms of immorality, no matter how commonplace, are various

categories of iniquities that will keep millions of people out of Heaven, unless
they repent and forsake such lifestyle.

At a very alarming rate, the world through her social media, cultures and so-called
evolving traditions has been disentangling herself from spiritual values according
to the Bible.

Whenever human beings run riot of biblical pronouncements and the

commandments of God, there is bound to be dismal consequences. Degeneration
and immorality through sexual pervasiveness, adultery, fornication and all forms
of lewd cultures and inordinate affection would never go without receiving it due
punishment according to the word of God.

Families and homes will be affected, and the larger society will not escape
unscathed. Without a personal, intimate relationship with God, life always
declines in value.

Pathways out of Adultery and Fornication

Nevertheless God always outline clear-cut principles to come out of sinfulness

and receive His blessings.

1. Samson: -
Samson was born and raised for a purpose. He was particularly empowered
by God to annihilate Israels recurring enemy, the Philistines.

However, as a young man, Samson went down the sinful path of fornication
and inordinate affection. He loved ladies, and preferred Philistine girls.

Samson loved Delilah, a girl from the enemy Philistines he was specially
raised to overpower. He failed to find out whether Delilah truly loves him.

Philistine leaders bribed Delilah with large amount of money big money to
entrap Samson and discover the source of his extraordinary strength.

His love for her and her relentless prodding was his undoing. After
deceiving her three times, Samson finally poured out his heart to her.

And it came to pass, when she pressed him daily with her words, and
urged him, so that his soul was vexed unto death; That he told her all his
heart, and said unto her,

There hath not come a razor upon mine head; for I have been a Nazarite
unto God from my mother's womb: if I be shaven, then my strength will
go from me, and I shall become weak, and be like any other man.
And when Delilah saw that he had told her all his heart, she sent and
called for the lords of the Philistines, saying, Come up this once, for he
hath shewed me all his heart.

Then the lords of the Philistines came up unto her, and brought money in
their hand.
And she made him sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and
she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head; and she began to
afflict him, and his strength went from him. (Jdg 16:16 -19).

Samson was captured by the same enemy he was specially born to oppress.
His powerful hair was shaven by the Philistines, and he was kept in prison.

After a while his powerful hairs grew, but the Philistines failed to realize
that his awesome strength and power could be regained.
When he was brought out of the prisons into an arena for sports and
amusement by the Philistines, Samson, in his shame and depressed mood,
remembered God.

Samson remembered Gods promises to forgive the penitent and deliver

the oppressed. He prayed to claim these assurances of God. But You, O
Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, Slow to anger and abundant in
lovingkindness and truth. (Psa 86:15).

Samson requested to be positioned between the pillars of the massive

arena where more than three thousand Philistines gathered.
Then, Samson prayed. And Samson called unto the LORD, and said,
O Lord GOD, remember me, I pray thee, and strengthen me, I pray
thee, only this once, O God, that I may be at once avenged of the
Philistines for my two eyes. (Jdg 16:28).

His prayer was answered. Samsons superhuman strength was regained. He

pushed against the two supporting pillars, the temple collapsed, killing
everybody in it.

Thus Samson killed many more enemy Philistines when he died than while
he lived.
 This is the power of the prayer of a truly penitent sinner.

You can successfully come out of adultery and formication by

coming open to God in repentance and genuine penitence, even at
the point of death.
Sin brings two evils upon the sinner adultery and fornication
poisons the body by way of iniquity, and hinders the passage of
restoration, remedy, and infinite unto the sinner from God. These
hindrances are removed through repentance and cleansing in the
fountain of Christs blood.
As you pray the prayer of faith, prompt answer from God brings
answers to come out of adultery and fornication, and to go and sin
no more.

2. David:-
Generally, humans are deceived to believe that we can flirt with sin, delve
into unrighteousness, and get away with it. But this is the device of the
devil to entrap us and lure humans away from the presence of God.

Many people take the sin of fornication and adultery with levity and cover
up with religion, just because everybody seems to be doing it.

God's love demands fatherly chastisement, but our persistence to continue

in sinfulness, in adultery and fornication will definitely attract His wrath and
fair judgment.

David has learnt to love God and trust Him truthfully from boyhood. God
honored him. Despite being the last born of Jesse, David was chosen as a
king of Israel over and above his seven elder brothers.

When providence brought him to the warfront where Goliath, the giant
Philistine warrior, has put King Saul and all Israeli soldiers in disarray, David
declared his strong faith in God. Buoyed by his bold faith in efficacy of the
power of God, David put his life on the line, and confronted Goliath only
with his string and few little stones.
David killed giant Goliath with a stone from his shepherd's slingshot and
vanquished the Philistine army that had oppressed Israel. He eventually
became the King of Israel after the death of Saul.

Though David started out as a righteous ruler and a God-fearing person,

over time, the lure of office and effect of mixing with power and position
began to corrupt his good manners.

Rather than pursue the enemy of the nation along with his soldiers, David
"tarried still at Jerusalem". It was while staying behind that he watches
from the height of his palace, as Bathsheba, wife of Uriah, one of his loyal
warriors, bathes on her rooftop.

In lust, the king called Bathsheba to the palace just to satisfy his sexual urge
and inordinate affection. But the one time affair turned sour as the woman
became pregnant.

Rather than feel remorse, confess to God and seek forgiveness, the king
went on a path which further compounded his iniquity.

"Though God may suffer his people to fall into sin, he will not suffer his
people to lie still in it." (Mathew Henry). Prophet Nathan was sent to David,
just like pastors and evangelists are sent across the path of all sinners to
remind them of the love of Christ.

Nathan was sent to David to confront him with his sins, to convict him, and
to lead him into repentance. "Thou art the man" declared the prophet.
The humbled king declared, I have sinned against the LORD.

And Nathan said unto David, The LORD also hath put away thy sin; thou
shalt not die. Howbeit, because by this deed thou hast given great
occasion to the enemies of the LORD to blaspheme, the child also that is
born unto thee shall surely die. (2Sa 12:13,14).

King David humbled himself, confessed his sins, and sought perfect
forgiveness. Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy
lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot
 out my transgressions. Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and
cleanse me from my sin. (Psa 51:1,2).

The Lord reprimanded and punished David for his sin of adultery and
murder of an innocent man. However, out of love, He forgave the sin that
had become a wedge between the king David and his God.

Forgiveness awaits all penitent sinners because of the readily flowing mercy
of God. However, to receive Gods mercy, the sinner must come into
sincere and genuine confession before God.

The focus of all truly penitent sinner and remorseful person is renewal unto
godliness and atonement unto true relationship with God.

When a sinner obtains godly renewal, God reform him and, Create in me a
clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away
from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me. Restore unto me
the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit. (Psa 51:10-
12).

3. Nineveh:-
Repentance is very essential before a sinner could claim forgiveness.

Nineveh was a place of idolatry, adultery, fornication, lust, greed,

lustfulness, and all sorts of iniquities. Iniquity and sinfulness were so
rampant in Nineveh that God decided to destroy the city.

The love of God is full of mercy and unlimited grace. This wonderful
attribute of God is not only limited to the righteous but equally to all
penitent sinner, such as the thief on the cross.

Despite the great iniquities of Nineveh, God sent His prophet to forewarn
the idolatrous nation about the impending judgment looming over the
nation. Though Jonah was reluctant to preach deliverance in Nineveh, God
had prepared the hearts of the Ninevites to choose the path of peace.
Using a rebellious prophet to bring rebellious people of Nineveh to faith in
Himself, God demonstrate wonderful miracle in the high seas to eventually
proclaim the truth about God in Nineveh.

Everyone in the city, including the king himself, responded with heartfelt
sorrow. Then the people of Nineveh believed in God. They called a fast and
put on sackcloth from the greatest to the least of them.

When the word reached the king of Nineveh, he arose from his throne, laid
aside his robe from him, covered himself with sackcloth and sat on ashes.

The first fruit of the Ninevites was faith: "So the people of Nineveh believed
God."

The second fruit was the unfeigned contrition of heart; humiliating

themselves before the Lord.

The most important fruit of the Ninevites was repentance.

Repentance led them to faith because sin was an obstacle between them
and God.

The fruit of their repentance was their humiliation, fasting, wearing

sackcloth and crying out to God. Their repentance was a sincere repentance
in every meaning of the word: serious and from the heart, in which
everyone turned 'from his evil way and from the violence that was in his
hands."
By this repentance they deserved God's mercy. He pardoned and forgave.

Their fasting, prayer and humiliation were but fruits of repentance.

"Then God saw their works, that they turned from their evil way".
Therefore repentance was the reason for God's mercy on them.

Solomon:-
King Solomon started out his reign as a man whose heart panted after God.
He demonstrated sincere desire to please God and genuine delight to
worship Jehovah God.
Unfortunately, King Solomon married too many wives, and that was
polygamy and adultery.
In addition, these wives and concubines were not godly women. Despite
clear signals and unambiguous commandments that children of Israel
should neither marry strangers nor have any affinity with them, Solomon
did not follow God's counsel in choosing his wives.
He married heathen women, Pharaoh's daughter, Moabite ladies,
Ammonite women, Edomites, Sidonians and Hittites.
When Solomon was old, his wives turned away his heart after other gods;
and his heart was not true to the Lordhis God, as was the heart of his father
David.
Solomon followed Astarte the goddess of the Sidonians, and Milcom the
abomination of the Ammonites. Solomon did what was evil in the sight of
the Lord, and did not completely follow the Lord, as his father David had
done.
He loved many foreign wivesand these drew him from his loyalty to
Jehovah. A good and godly wife is a great blessing to her husband. Many a
man owes everything to his wife.
 13. Unequal Yoke

Dating could sound good, weddings may come out awesomely great through the
setting, the place it was held, the parties and personalities involved, and the
power of its attendants.

Marriage, however, between a man and a woman who agree to be in love, is a

different ball game all together.

You may decide on whom to love or marry through the influence of your parents,
societal or cultural pressure, encouragement of friends and colleagues, or by
virtue of the intuitions of your hormones.

You may decide to wed a particular girl or man because of your career,
profession, interests, or even just because of the looks of the man, the beauty of
the lady, or some other appeals.

None of these will come in handy when you get to the nifty gritty of marital life, if
two of you are not genuinely in love. Materialism promises much but delivers
little. It is very important to endure and find the rightful person to marry.

What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost
which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?
For ye are bought with a price:
therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.
(1Co 6:19,20).
According to the Bible, the body, soul, and spirit of a genuinely converted
Christian have become the body of Christ. Therefore if any man be in Christ, he
is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become
new. (2Co 5:17).
A genuinely born-again Christian is a truly renewed man or woman in body, soul,
and in spirit, to act upon new principles, guided by new rules, with focus on new
illuminations and illusions, and in pursuit of new goals and dreams in accordance
with the Word of God and the direction of the Holy Spirit.
A born-again Christian has moved past sexual immorality, pre-marital sex, and
does not mess around with adultery and fornication. He has overcome worldly
besetting sins of pornography, inordinate affections, unfaithfulness in loving
relationship and marriage.

You become materialistic the moment you put material things above God. The
world is obsessed with the pursuit of material wealth, pleasure and leisure,
through deception, dishonesty, and cheating, and usually ends up with
unhappiness, headache, heartache, and dejection.

Attempts by worldly assemblies to get mixed with the world and corroborate
truth with heresy can never yield the fruit of the Spirit but satanic influences.

Not all things are lawful for the genuinely converted Christian, for he no longer
liveth, but Jesus Christ liveth in Him.

Genuinely converted Christians would never put themselves into the power of
any bodily appetite. True children of God adhere to the injunction, Flee
fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that
committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. (1Co 6:18).

The very first thing a Christian willing to settle down in lovely relationship and
marriage must do is to pray for God to clearly confirm His will. You must not trust
yourself so much as to make the choice without His leading. You must pray in
faith and faithfully wait in patience for Gods very clear answer.

Before Our Lord Jesus Christ appointed His disciples, He prayed fervently unto the
Father. And it came to pass in those days, that he went out into a mountain to
pray, and continued all night in prayer to God. And when it was day, he called
unto him his disciples: and of them he chose twelve, whom also he named
apostles; (Luk 6:12,13).

Seek counsel from anointed men of God, but ask God for the spirit of
discernment to be able to obtain valuable advice and avoid the deceit of men.
Good and valuable advice will come from a life characterized by the life of Jesus,
and their opinion will be spoken in love and in consistent with His Word.
Marriage was given to man to avoid fornication, and thus a good husband and
wife must take care of such urges lest they fall to into temptation and a snare.
Therefore you take your time to plan it, prepare it, and consummate it according
to the Word of God.

Christian must always seek a faithful wife or husband within the household of
faith. It usually amount to great regret in the end when Christians decide to marry
outside the will of God.

Once the romance clears out and erotic desires wane, the unsaved partner will
display his sinfulness and worldly tendencies to the chagrin and utter regret of the
Christian. The devil is very deceptive and cunny. He has claim to all unconverted
souls, and he will use them to torment the Christian.

Believers who are engaged in affectionate relationship or marriage plans with

unsaved persons have not only compromised their faith, but have rejected The
Lord and endanger their lives to free-flow attacks from the enemy.

Any emotional attachments you have towards a person who is not on the same
spiritual page as you is sinful, dangerous, and could rob you of future glory.

Again, When a righteous man doth turn from his righteousness, and commit
iniquity, and I lay a stumbling block before him, he shall die: because thou hast
not given him warning, he shall die in his sin, and his righteousness which he
hath done shall not be remembered; but his blood will I require at thine hand.
(Eze 3:20)

A person who has not received Jesus Christ as personal Savior is spiritually dead;
no matter how morally sound such ones could claim to be. Morality and good
character are insufficient for salvation.

An unconverted person is a worldly person, period. And a genuine Christian can

never commit his life unto a worldly person, never! And be not conformed to
this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may
prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. (Rom 12:2).
The relationship of a regenerated Christian with an unbeliever is like a self-
inflicted curse and damnation for outright disobedience after knowing the truth.
It is an affront to the holiness of God as well as a grieving of His Holy Spirit.
Depart ye, depart ye, go ye out from thence, touch no unclean thing; go ye out
of the midst of her; be ye clean, that bear the vessels of the LORD. (Isa 52:11).

Holiness unto God is the watchword of genuine Christians. They are separated
and kept apart from the world as Gods own peculiar people and as a holy nation.
Gods people are pure and holy and cannot cohabit or live in matrimony with
sinful agents of Satan.

God is light, and in Him there is no darkness at all For with thee is the
fountain of life: in thy light shall we see light. (1 John 1:5b; Psa 36:9). How can a
Christian who has been ordained to walk and live in the light of God now
condescend to unite with someone who is not walking in the light of God?

The unholy alliance of a believer with an unbeliever in marriage can only breed
sin, discord, disagreement, and disharmony. Darkness will permeate all of that
relationship as the illumination of God will depart as the light of the gospel is
extinguished.

As for unholy wedlock already consummated before coming into full knowledge
of the gospel, the Christian is admonished not to divorce the unbeliever, but
rather work hard to save his own soul and convert the unbeliever.

The unbeliever is in freedom to leave the marriage if he so chose, but the believer
cannot re-marry but remain single.
 14. Marriage Principles

The loyalty and submission of the wife to her husband must not be out of
servitude or subjugation, but rather out of loving surrender, un-hypocritical
loyalty, and voluntary submission to the headship and authority of the husband in
the fear of God.

Submission to the husband should be cheerful, honest, sincere, and with pure
motive.

Genuine submission in marriage consists of genuine reverence and godly

obedience to the husband. teach the young women to be sober, to love their
husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good,
obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. (Tit
2:4,5).

One is that Christians have been reborn; they are spiritually alive, whereas
unbelievers are not. A person who has not received Jesus Christ as personal Savior
is spiritually dead!

For a godly wife to please her husband,

1. she should always strive to keep and maintain her salvation experience,
2. she should submit to the guide, rule, and directive of the Holy Spirit;
3. obey her husband according to the scriptures,
4. seek his permission without hypocrisy;
5. accepts correction according to the scriptures;
6. do not nag and brag at her husband;
7. avoids negative and destructive criticism;
8. avoid fault-finding and undue goose chase;
9. strive and dedicate herself to be his help-meet;
10. and correct in love and godly manner when her husband deserves to be
corrected;

Causes of unwillingness to submit to husband:

 1. Backsliding when the wife has gone into sinfulness and iniquity.
2. Pride sinfulness leads to pride and carnality in marital relationship.
3. Imperfect love loss of affection and geuine intimacy in marriage.
4. Worldliness and carnality seeking to meet fads and fashions of the
world at the expense of genuine marital love and affection.
5. Outside influence when extended family members, friends and
outsiders poke into private and confidential marital affairs.

How to Nourish and Cherish a Wife

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and
gave himself for it; So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies.
He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own
flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: (Eph
5:25,28,29)
And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and took Rebekah,
and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after
his mother's death. (Gen 24:67).
But the poor man had nothing, save one little ewe lamb, which he had
bought and nourished up: and it grew up together with him, and with his
children; it did eat of his own meat, and drank of his own cup, and lay in
his bosom, and was unto him as a daughter. (2Sa 12:3).
Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let
her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at
all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. (Pro 5:18,19).
Thou art all fair, my love; there is no spot in thee. How fair is thy love,
my sister, my spouse! how much better is thy love than wine! and the
smell of thine ointments than all spices! (Son 4:7,10).

A man who has found a wife has discovered a thing of great joy, because a wife is
more valuable than ruby, silver or gold. It is the commandment of God that a man
should love his wife as Jesus Christ loves the Church and gave Himself for it.

1. Sacrificial love.
 2. Non-destructive carnal love, but the love that saves her and keep her in
the Kingdom
3. Considerate love
4. Tender love
5. Cheerful and joyful love
6. Enduring love
7. Unfailing and unending love.

To be adequate in the sight of God, a man should so love his wife beyond physical
care and provision of material pecuniary, but rather in the provision of spiritual
nurture, emotional support, and necessary assistance to become the best God
want the lady to become.

A good husband would make adequate provision for his wife in all essential
aspects of life, he would please her, protect her, pray regularly for her, plan for
her, partner her all the time, especially when she has challenges, and prepare her
for heaven by teaching and nourishing her spiritually.

It is the sacrificial and thoughtful love of the husband that makes submission in
marriage an easy duty for the wife. The materialistic world and culture often
reason to cover up all ills and shortcomings at home and in the family with
money. Unfortunately, money cannot buy love, and poverty cannot separate two
true lovers. Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife
clearly understood that they are on the same side. (Zig Ziglar)

No matter how prosperous you may be, no matter how big or fantastic is your
estate, or how fat is your bank account, it cannot buy you love. No matter how
poor or how lowly placed you may be in life, it will not hinder you from loving
your own very dear one.

Genuine love is obtainable solely by the grace of God. It is granted unto as many
as would seek God diligently to know Gods will for them in marriage, and who
would elect to continue in that relationship through the Guide of the Spirit and
Word of God.

Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.
House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the
LORD. (Pro 18:22; Pro 19:14).
 15. Beginning of the Marriage Institution

God created man as the crowning glory of all His works.

Everything created by God throughout the six-day creation week is pronounced

very good.

According to His plan and purpose, the marriage institution, was the first to be
set up by God for the newly created man so that every man could exist and live in
holiness and righteousness within His Kingdom (Garden of Eden) in body, soul,
and spirit.

And the LORD God said,

It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet
for him.
And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman,
and brought her unto the man.
And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she
shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave
unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. (Gen 2:18,22-24).

The Marriage institution set up by God defines human sexuality, affection, care
and love between man and woman, so that he could live according to the
purpose of God. He could relate in friendship, in companionship, and in marriage.
That man could like and love in truth and in righteousness, maintaining affection
with fellow mankind, and holiness in soul and healthy in body to walk and work
with a holy God.

The Fall of Man, which is the consequence of mans disobedience to God and
rebellion to His principles, introduced sin and its shortcomings into the world, and
led to the loss of perfection in human nature. Nevertheless, the purpose, plan and
design of God for man and his universe did not change.

The Word of God was given to man to guide and lead him through Christ, the
promised Messiah, back to The Father.

The Word of God is also given to bring man into full redemption from his fallen
state.

When, through Jesus Christ, the soul of man is redeemed, and his entire being is
recovered into the original design of God, then he would seek to love and care in
affectionate relationship in the way of God and not according to the lustful
system of the world.

In his renewed state, man will walk in righteousness and holiness, he will love in
truth and in spirit, he would care not out of selfish motives or ulterior designs, but
because Jesus loves and care for him.

This is the true picture and original design for the creation of man. This is the goal
of true friendship, godly affection and relationship, and the marriage institution

Where the heart is also goes the total man. Your relationship to other people is
paramount to your total existence or life in general. The home today is under
serious threat, and so is the family.

Various negative thoughts and misguided practices, which characterize human

life, has affected the way we form relationships and left its tolls on marriage and
the family setting.

The world and its influence has shifted our focus from looking at the right place
for true love, and diverted our focus on the wrong principles of dating, petting,
dancing, and pre-marital sex.

High on the mind of almost everyone seeking relationship is no longer love for its
own sake, but friendship that is rather based on beauty and look, popularity,
riches, family, and who she is, and whose son is he?
If our Creator could regard each human being as precious, valuable and
important, we should not do less to fellow humans. However, man cannot love as
God loves until there is genuine conversion in his heart and Christ-like
transformation in his life.

Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart,
and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great
commandment.
And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
(Mat 22:37-39).
A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I
have loved you, that ye also love one another. (Joh 13:34).
Now the end of the commandment is charity (Love) out of a pure heart,
and of a good conscience, and of faith unfeigned: (1Ti 1:5).
 16. Foundations of a Happy Marriage

Sex is not love, and love is not all about sex!

Love is a tender and passionate affection that develops as a man becomes the
friend of a woman, or between a boy and a girl. When love is true, it bears the
essential characteristics of passionate demonstration in affection, intimate
relationship in close attachment, commitment and fondness for each other in
bonding and sharing, and growing into serious commitment to stay together
come what may.

True love is like a glowing flame, which cannot be put out by wind, or water,
which cannot be extinguish by rain or monsoon, and which continue to glow and
flame despite the torrents of flood or hurricane. Because sex, premarital and/or
extramarital is not love, it can only lead to pain and disappointment for all those
who partake in what God forbids.

Foundation is very important in the set up and erection of any strong structure.

The foundation for happy marriage is very crucial as it is the basis for generations
yet unborn. Marriage set up on rubles - based on personal qualities of the partner
rather than true qualification for friendship, affection and genuine love, will
crumble along the line. It will not be able to withstand societal pressure and
influence.

There is no way you can make your marriage exactly as good and happy as that of
your parent or someone else. Every marriage is unique in one way or another, but
each would be happy or otherwise if the basic ingredients are applied in building
the foundations and the building blocks or whether they are denied.

Martin Luther Had a Wife

Remember Martin Luther, the great father of Reformation. He began as a priest

and monk without any inkling of loving or marrying a lady. After his new-birth
experience, Martin Luther studied the scriptures, understood the word of God
clearly, and produced good literary works on how to love, marry and raise godly
children.

Katherine was also a nun in the convent, and, along with some of her colleagues,
had read some of the writings of Martin Luther. This bunch of nuns took a serious
step of leaving the convent, get married and bear children. As their counselor,
Martin Luther aided these ladies on their new path in life.

He sought out homes, families and close confidants for them until they all got
settled except Katherine. Without underpinning on love or attraction, Luther
decided to marry Katherine based on a commitment to the principles of the Bible
and service to God.

Though their marriage was neither easy nor rosy, but it was a wonderful marriage
with children, caring, supporting, and doing the work and will of god to
consolidate the Reformation.

Marriages erected on Jesus Christ the Rock of Ages, which is devoid of deception,
unholy attraction, and self-will always thrives and succeeds no matter the
challenges.

Katherine turned out to be a wonderful mother and caring wife. Martin was a
loving father and positive influence in their home. He wrote, "The greatest gift
of grace a man can have is a pious, God-fearing, home-loving wife, whom he can
trust with all his goods, body, and life itself, as well as having her as the mother
of his children."

John Wesley Married a Woman

John Wesley tried to have the perfect wife and an ideal home, but he failed.
As the founder of the Methodist movement, John Wesley had consecrated his
time and dedicated his life to God. His marriage to Mary Goldhawk Molly
Vazeille, a well-to-do widow and mother of 4 children, could not produce the
desired happy home and a happy married life.
John Wesley was always on the road for the work of God, or busy in fellowship,
delayed in counseling or church meetings, or too much engaged on the field of
evangelism and other church activities.

As a result, Molly, who had known what to expect from marriage from previous
experience with late husband, felt increasingly neglected by Wesley, became
jealous for too many trips and travelling by his man, was overtly suspicious of the
many friendly relationships Wesley kept with various women members of the
Methodist movement.

The gap between husband and wife widened emotionally and physically. Molly
misinterpreted and misconstrued Wesleys pastoral works as extra-marital affairs.
Wesley was adamant to fulfill his calling into the ministry, to obey God rather
than succumb to his wifes false allegation. It was tragic and pathetic.

John Wesley had wanted a wife who would be:

1. A housekeeper
2. A nurse
3. A companion
4. A friend
5. A fellow laborer in the gospel of Christ
6. Someone endowed with Spiritual gifts
7. Someone fruitful in gathering for Christ.

Molly was highly temperamental and terrible when she falls into a rage. She failed
to meet the standard set by John, and how the two agreed to be husband and
wife remained a worrisome mystery.

When Molly could not bear it anymore, and chose to leave home, Wesley
declared, I have not left her, I have not sent her away, I shall not ask her to come
back. She was to return a short while afterwards on her own.

Gods Word sets the standard high for those who would lead in the church; and
those qualifications include an elders home-life. You can lose your ministry and
keep your marriage, but you cannot lose your marriage, you have lost it all, and
the ministry along with it.

When two people are married, they become one flesh. Sex is a consummation of
that union. When two people break off their relationship after having sex, it is like
ripping the flesh apart, tearing the soul, and breaking the heart.

Since the ultimate goal of truthful friendship and lovely relationship between a
man and a woman is to marry each other, and marriage brings two people from
two different backgrounds together to come and live together as one for a
lifetime, it is very important to lay good foundations to avoid bitterness,
confusion and divorce.

It is very important that the two parties must compare their background so as to
identify areas where they complement each other, and discover grounds in which
both do not agree in order to iron out those grey areas and further improve on
them.

Maturity

Maturity means to grow up and become responsible for oneself, to grow and be
developed adequately physically, emotionally, socially, spiritually, educationally,
financially, and intelligently.

Because marriage is as sacred a home as much as we consider the church,

therefore the makers of that marital home should be matured enough spiritually,
in age, in reasoning, in the experience of life, in the exposure to life and
challenges, in mind, body, spirit, and general matters.

You need to attain the age of adulthood to be able to consider setting up your
own home.

You must have come into sound relationship with God as a born-again child of
God to know how to approach Him and seek His will for the right partner to
marry.
Physical development and lack of recurring physical ailments or incapability put
you in a good stead with adequate age as someone ready to set up his or her
home.

While education is not a prerequisite to love and marry, adequate education

prepares your mind and brain for better judgment and decision making than a
stark illiterate. You become intelligent and exposed to greater ideas through
reading, writing, and arithmetic.

Maturity in terms of career, profession, earning capability and earning capacity

will determine how you will be able to meet essential obligations as a husband or
wife, as well as a parent and member of the larger social community.

Genuine Conversion

As you plan your marriage, think seriously on your relationship with the Lord. Be
very sure and be fully convinced of your salvation experience, now that you are
single.

Marriage is lifes most challenging relationship in which you spend the rest of
your adult life for better and for worse. It is therefore, dangerous to go into such
enterprise unprepared.

It is useless to invest our waking hours in the pursuit of material things rather
than God. What we get in the end is only headache, heartache and restlessness.

Genuine Christian conversion makes you to meditate in the word of God, to apply
the principles of God, and to live in the way of God night and day. With close
application of mind and fixedness of thought in the Word, constant regard of the
word of God will rule your actions and guide your thoughts.

As a Christian, you need to conform to the life and teachings of Christ in order to
sustain a steady scriptural relationship with God and man.

There is need for scripture study and prayer in order to grow into maturity as a
Christian in faith and in truth, and in order to advance as a believer and
experience the grace of sanctification and Holy Ghost baptism after the new birth
experience.

Such essential growth is hindered by sinfulness and worldliness.

Godliness

No matter your faith, you need God and the Bible to make your marriage work.
Without God, there will be few hits and many misses in your marriage plans,
wedding and settling down as a couple.

The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. Your friend should know God while
you are genuinely born-again to be on the same page from onset. Otherwise, you
will be courting trouble.

Know the will of God.

Be fully convinced that it is the will of God to forge ahead in the relationship. This
is the main reason why you assurance of your salvation or new-birth experience
comes to play.

You need to know how to pray and hear clear directive of the Spirit of God on this
matter.

Not Unequally Yoked

The Bible does admonish Christians clearly against the unequal yoke.

As a new-born Christian, it is courting danger to seek the hand of an unbeliever in

marriage no matter how much you are infatuated to him or her calling it love. It is
wrong for believers to join with the wicked and profane.

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath
righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with
darkness?

And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth
with an infidel?
And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of
the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I
will be their God, and they shall be my people.

Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and
touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, (2Co 6:14-17).

Counseling and Guidance

Seek proper guidance from appropriate quarters on the step you are about to
take. Consult well, and seek the opinion of qualified and competent parents and
personalities before you take a leap into marriage.

Great Concern

Marriage deserves great concern and utmost care to undertake. Abraham who
guided his faithful servant on how to get a godly and good wife for his son, Isaac,
displayed the fundamental foundation for marriage as an institution that
demands much care and prudence at the beginning.

And I will make thee swear by the LORD, the God of heaven, and the God of the
earth, that thou shalt not take a wife unto my son of the daughters of the
Canaanites, among whom I dwell: But thou shalt go unto my country, and to my
kindred, and take a wife unto my son Isaac. (Gen 24:3,4).

Self-will and Permissive will

God is a good God who plans the best for the earth and its people, but most
people prefer to live by permissive will, which will turn back to snare them after
some spell of short-lived pleasure.

God established Israel as a theocracy, directly under the rule and guidance of
God, as a model and example for the gentile nations that will later be absorbed
into the household of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob through Christ.
But, when at felt at ease, when they settled in comfort and prosperity, the leaders
of the people of Israel demanded to be like the world, they wanted to copy the
idolatrous nations of the world.

The elders of Israel approached Prophet Samuel requesting a king who would lead
them like other nations.

Whereas, Gods plan was that Israel shall dwell alone, and shall not be reckoned
among the nations, as a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy
nation, a peculiar people;, the Israelites themselves preferred to be like other
nations.

The kingdom of Israel was therefore set up on permissive will because Israelites
rejected God and Prophet Samuel in their demand for a king.

This is a very big departure from the plan and purpose of God for man and from
the covenant God had with our founding fathers - Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

However, God allowed Saul to become the king of Israel, but it did not take long
to discover that Gods guidance is always better than human reasoning.

Saul failed woefully, and was rejected by God, and avoided by his own people.
God declared unto Israel, I gave thee a king in mine anger, and took him away
in my wrath. (Hos 13:11).

You may choose to love anyway you want contrary to the way of God, you may
decide to marry anyone and anyhow you want in deference to the plan and
purpose of God for you, it is your family and the set-up of your own future.

Whatever consequence comes out of that permissive or self-will is yours, and you
should not blame God for it.

He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good;

and what doth the LORD require of thee,

but to do justly, and to love mercy,

 and to walk humbly with thy God? (Mic 6:8)

What God doth require from every man and woman is to come into His
obedience, doing His will, walking in His way, and reading and doing His word,
then we can love and be loved in truth and joy, and our home and family will be in
peace.

The grace of God is still flowing at Calvary to satisfy all penitent and every
remorseful sinner coming into repentance.

Take my will and make it Thine,

It shall be no longer mine;
Take my heart, it is Thine own;
It shall be Thy royal throne.

Take my love; my Lord, I pour

At Thy feet its treasure-store;
Take myself, and I will be
Ever, only, all for Thee.
 17. Marriage and Social Change

Husband and wife come together in marriage to form a unit while retaining their
individual identities as woman and man, but have come to be one indivisible unit
which nothing else but death can separate.

And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he
took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which
the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto
the man.

And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be
called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his
wife: and they shall be one flesh. (Gen 2:21-24).

God, as a concerned Father unto Adam, brought him, through His creative power,
His daughter, Eve, as a help meet for him and as his second self. If you are also
obedient and faithful, you will receive your rightful helpmeet from God.

The following are notable social changes in the life of Adam after the creation of
Eve:

1. Only One Rib to create Only One Woman

God took one rib from Adam to create one woman, only one woman, not two or
more, for him. The omnipotent God is perfect in all things, and gives man a
perfect example in taking only one rib out of the Adam for a monogamous marital
relationship.

Not more than one, and definitely not another man, therefore adulterers,
adulteresses, lesbians, and homosexuals should learn, as they are living in self-will
and sin. A woman is taken out of Adam and from every one Adam, a woman is
made.
Every male human being is missing one rib, which God uses to create a woman for
him. God does not take many ribs but only one from each male human being
(Adam) to create one woman for every man and He does not create many
women for one man but one woman for one Adam.

2. Two become one flesh

Marriage in the eyes of God is constituted when two become one flesh, and not
three, four, five or multiples, but when only two people become one flesh.

Jesus confirms that it is one man who joins himself to one woman to constitute a
marriage. But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and
female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his
wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one
flesh. (Mar 10:6-8).

3. Cleaving - man leaves his father and mother

Adam had one wife, Eve, and Eve had one husband Adam, so it was in the
beginning and so shall it be to the very end. One man for one woman, a man
leaves his father and mother (singularity) not fathers and mothers

Marriage from the start, from creation, was between one man and one woman.
This is how God constituted marriage, and how marriage should be as seen from
Adam and Eve, throughout his generation, and through history.

However, married couples are part of the larger societal units as adults, couples,
and parents, the twain are an indivisible single exclusive entity with other friends,
relatives, colleagues, and mates, which should not infiltrate into the marital
privacy and hallowed grounds.

While there exists variations and differences in marriage patterns and practices,
from one culture to another, and from one civilization to another civilization, the
original standard, purpose, and plan of God to establish the institution of
marriage remains unchanged, valid, and relevant, even until this day.

Societies and social structures across the world may continue to experience
changes from time to time, such as changes in the social context and domestic
upheavals, the Bible the unchangeable Word of our immutable God stands
forever, and so are is His standards.

Make me a channel of blessing today,

Make me a channel of blessing, I pray;
My life possessing, my service blessing,
Make me a channel of blessing today.

We cannot be channels of blessing

If our lives are not free from known sin;
We will barriers be and a hindrance
To those we are trying to win.
 18. The Bible

The immutable God and the unchangeable word of God stand from generation to
generation. God does not change.

And also the Strength of Israel will not lie nor repent: for he is not a man,
that he should repent. (1Sa 15:29).
I the LORD have spoken it: it shall come to pass, and I will do it; I will not
go back, neither will I spare, neither will I repent; according to thy ways,
and according to thy doings, shall they judge thee, saith the Lord GOD.
(Eze 24:14).
That by two immutable things, in which it was impossible for God to lie,
we might have a strong consolation, who have fled for refuge to lay hold
upon the hope set before us: Which hope we have as an anchor of the
soul, both sure and stedfast, and which entereth into that within the veil;
(Heb 6:18,19)

The Word of God in the Bible stands like a rock. It remains firm and unshakable by
the lying tongues and the fierce attacks of Satan and all foes.

The word of God stands undaunted to maintain the truth on the gift of Gods love
and the institution of holy matrimony despite the raging storms of societal ills and
ungodly rulers and unholy people.

The Bible is high above all other books as the heavens are above the earth.

Read the Bible to be wise.

Believe the Bible to be safe.
Practice and apply the Bible to be right.

Embedded within the inspired testaments of the Bible are the ways of life, the
ways of truth, and the true way to love and live unto glory.
Bible Benefit
The obedient, believing child of God beholds in the Bible the glory of a divine
power, full of grace and truth.

You can only discover the truth about love and life as you search the scriptures
and accept the word of God as an authoritative, infallible revelation of the will of
God.

Jesus said, This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved
you. (Joh 15:12). The Bible is Gods textbook on abundant living, lovingly and
carefully designed so that all men can come into its light and see ourselves clearly
to better understand the thoughts and intent of our hearts.

Your true and perfect relationship unto God is first and paramount.

Next to this is your acceptable and cordial relationship with fellow mankind, with
whom all Christians are enjoined to relate in peace and harmony.

As created social beings, humans have a need for relationships with other people.
These relationships are expressed in love and affection. The divine love
emanating from Christ never destroys human love, but includes it.

We are not just to be a set of people propagating certain doctrines and teachings.
Rather, we are to live actively in this world in love and acceptable relationship
with all men.

To do this, we need to be reformed in the inner man, displaying the fruits of

genuine salvation and true conversion.

We need to put on the garments that suits genuine children of God and chosen
people of God, love, compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, while
forbearing one another, and forgiving one another.

Salvation
You can only come into the love of Christ as a child of God. You cannot claim to
love God and walk contrariwise. To become a child of God requires that you are a
born-again Christian who has:
 1. Admitted hi sinfulness for all have sinned, and come short of the glory of
God; For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life
through Jesus Christ our Lord. (Rom 3:23,6:23).
2. Repented of all known sins and iniquities Repent ye therefore, and be
converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing
shall come from the presence of the Lord;
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to
cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (Act 3:19; 1Jn 1:9)
3. Believe that God loves him and that Jesus Christ died for him. But God
commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ
died for us. (Rom 5:8)
4. Invite Jesus into his life through the prayer of faith. Behold, I stand at the
door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in
to him, and will sup with him, and he with me. (Rev 3:20).

As we first come into the love of Christ, our love for fellow humans is refined and
purified, elevated, and ennobled.

Human love can never attain its divine purpose and can never bear its precious
quality until his personal love is united with the divine nature of Christ through
genuine salvation, and led by the Spirit of God to grow heavenward through holy
living and the grace of sanctification.

Whichever way you look at it the acceptable love pattern and the acceptable
lifestyle sanctioned by God and acceptable to Him is the one that emanates from
a transformed life redeemed through the efficacious blood of Jesus Christ shed on
the cross at Calvary.

The so-called love between a sinful man and an unrighteous woman can always at
best be plutonic, romantic, and always in-between all the other lesser aspects of
affection. Look at famous Jackie and Jack.

They had power, fame, wealth, and one of the best positions here on earth. Yet
they both were well known for suspicious, nagging, unfaithful, and cheating
attitudes, yet they always appear as a famous loving couple on the outside.
The sinful world is lost in lusts of the flesh, love of pleasure, fornication, adultery,
pornography, and all sorts of sinful lifestyle promoted by agents and machineries
of the devil through the media, in the movies, internet, and general merchandise.
It is popularized and promoted through various social networks.
 19. A Biblical Manual on Friendship

Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong
as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire, which
hath a most vehement flame.

Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it: if a man
would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be
contemned. (Son 8:6,7)

The Word of God in the Bible shed light for all those who are careful and wary in
life on how to live a life of peace and satisfaction, pleasing God and serving Him in
truth and spirit.

The biblical book of Songs of Solomon opens our minds and eyes to understand
the true role of love in personal relationships.

This little book, embedded within the Old Testament of the Bible, is a very
important manual on friendship.

Those who delve into this love story often find out whenever it is studied fresh
and meaningful insights into love, into relationships, unto the Lord, and above all,
into his our own personal thoughts and motives.

Here we see two persons, a man and a lady, beginning a friendship, somewhat
casually, and then it grows.

Later the friendship blossomed into a relationship, and the relationship grows and
grows by the day as the twosome get closer and closer together, not out of
deception and sheer lust, like it is in the world, but in true companionship and
godly affection for each other.

Friendship goes far deeper and more meaningful than mere sexual compatibility
and lustful excitement, which is very prevalent in our sinful world.

The Song of Songs is a poem about love. Like the beginning of any friendship, the
two, a man and a lady, were not quite sure of each other at the start.
Since they both were strangers to each other at the onset, the woman was not
sure about the man, and twice sent him packing. She twice sends him away. She
does not want to share his life. However, in the end, she learns to trust him.

As she began to love him better, and gains more confidence on him, they became
engaged to each other, with firm assurances to marry each other. Then comes the
marriage, and the lady is now ready to become a mother.

Maturity has its positive role in life, she becomes glad and happy to live and work
with her love as his wife and friend. Happy is the husband or wife whose spouse is
a friend. Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of
the LORD. And thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
(Pro 18:22; Gen 3:16b).

Like all relationships, it requires commitment and perseverance to make it

successful.

The emotions of love must eventually give way to the deeper

commitments of loving behaviors that produces a mature friendship and
enduring partnership.

The man and woman in close and cozy relationship must be prepared to
spend, and be spent, in effort and commitment, working towards the
same purpose, objective, and end, for the same dreams, goals and
objectives.

We need to learn about the unfailing love of God to all men and women, to make
the right approaches in receiving Him and His only begotten Son Jesus Christ into
our personal lives, and share the love of God in us with our spouse in truth and
faith through the sacredness of marriage.

The young woman: I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys. (Son
8:13)

Solomon: As the lily among thorns, so is my love among the daughters. (Son
8:13)
The young woman: Thou that dwellest in the gardens, the companions hearken
to thy voice: cause me to hear it. (Son 8:13)

Solomon: Make haste, my beloved, and be thou like to a roe or to a young hart
upon the mountains of spices. (Son 8:14).
 20. Essential Principles of Love

1. The word of God should be your mirror to guide and correct you at every
step in the relationship.
2. Honesty is the best policy. You should be completely honest to God, to
self, and to your partner in loving relationship.
3. Know thyself Have a clear understanding of the love project at hand
with a clear focus on the ultimate end.
4. Dedicate yourself to its true virtues, with focus on how to obtain mutual
happiness at the end of the whole effort.
5. Make love to God, and love to your partner and spouse, the ultimate goal.

Understanding Human Affection

Human affection is an emotional feeling, often tender, usually fond and gentle
from one person to another, between a man and woman.

Generally, human beings find a friendship or a relationship to be one of the most

important things to have in their life, especially when one has great admiration
and explosive affection for the friend.

Affectionate feelings derive from friendship, relationship, being fondly accepted

for whom you are, what you are, and for the values you hold in high esteem.
Affection has to do with being touched, being caressed, being hugged, or being
tenderly and fondly massaged.

Affection is the youth of the heart, and thought is the hearts maturity (Khalil
Gibran). However, affection itself is not love, The human affections, like the
solar heat, lose their intensity as they depart from the center. (Alexander
Hamilton).

Apart from being caressed, touched, hugged, or appreciated, affection is also

expressed through a kiss on the cheek, forehead, nose, mouth or lips.

Affection in the same vein like attraction, infatuation, or fondness is a body

language emanating from the mind to declare or express ones feeling of love
towards another person or object.
A simple expression of human affection by word or deed may open up a wide
space of joy, happiness and elation in the one we love.

If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ
sitteth on the right hand of God. Set your affection on things above, not on
things on the earth.

Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication,
uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which
is idolatry: For which things' sake the wrath of God cometh on the children of
disobedience: (Col 3:1,2,5,6).

Here is a strong admonition that we should not be carried away by carnality and
lustfulness, which has no reward either on earth or on hereafter. Christians are
exhorted to be heavenly-minded, to mortify all corrupt affections, and to live in
mutual love.

What is true love?

Certainly, love is a very popular topic anytime anywhere.

Genuine love is the basis of all true relationship. Human affection can wane or
wear out over time, but genuine love is always there for you, through thick and
thin. This genuine, unselfish love constitutes the building blocks of the ideal
relationship, the ideal marriage, and the ideal home.

Love is patient, love is kind.

Love does not envy, it does not boast,

Love is not proud. It is not rude,

Love is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,

Love keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts,

Love always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. I Corinthians 13:4-8a (NIV)

Love is the basis of Gods purpose for man. Love is the foundation of all true and
noble human relationship. We need to feel loved to be happy. It is crucial that we
have at least one person in whose company we enjoy to share our life.

This does not have to be a romantic relationship. A family member or a friend can
fill this need. If it was true love, then it can trust. For love can trustaffection can
put confidence in the one it loves.

King Solomon in his great wisdom described true love as the type of intimate
relationship between a man and a woman, a kind of true love that is burning like
fire, with so much intense flame that many waters could not quench it.

True love is like a burning fire with a great flame, always coming out freshly aglow
with each new day, each new dawn, and each new moment. It is gentle, kind, and
true, it is a flame that cannot be put out by all the monsoon rains, hurricanes, and
floods of water.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the level of everydays
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
(Elizabeth Barrett Browning)
Friendship is good and edifying. All normal people try to be friends, and try to
establish satisfying friendships. The fullest experience of intimacy is only for a
man and a woman with the sacred institution of marriage.

The ultimate goal of special interest, close relationship, closeness in serious

concern and care for each other between a man and a woman is to share special
love in the deepest levels of bonding and coziness. It is to commit each other
exclusively to the covenant of marriage as instituted by God in the Garden of
Eden.
 21. When Love Is Gone
When there is no more love in a marriage or intimate relationship, you often hear
of troubles and rumbles. Sometimes it gets physical, but usually it comes in verbal
abuses, allegations, and accusations.

When one party in a love relationship not grounded on truth, and was not set up
on God and His principles, problems quickly emerge and hatred is enthroned.

Abuses of various sorts, dictatorial attitudes and chauvinistic tendencies of the

husband, dishonesty and disrespect of the woman, bullying of various kinds,
violations of trust and of covenant breaking, etcetera, and etcetera will suddenly
replace the former cozy attitudes of twosome who falsely claimed to be in love.

How can a man understand what is meant by true love when all a woman mean
to him was no more than a chattel brought into his home to satisfy his urge for
copulation, to bear babies, and to take care of his house?

How will a woman come into love relationship when it is always quarrel, abuse,
disrespect and unending displeasure?

When love is gone, more love remains! When love is lost, hope is sure. Separation
or divorce is never the answer to settle squabbles between couples who still love
each other.

While you may think that the best thing is to let go, it may be right in business,
but not so quick in marriage. It is in holding on that makes marriage strong.

Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male
and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and
shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?

Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath
joined together, let not man put asunder. (Mat 19:4-6).
When there is genuine love between twosome loving couples, it will not be
difficult to detect, no matter how often and how much they had disagreements,
difficulties and many other problems of marriage and life.
Instead of considering a marriage as an easily breakable contract, always bring
into memory the matrimonial vow and commitment to stand by each other for
better or worse till death do us part.
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in
unity!
It is like the precious ointment upon the head, that ran down upon the beard,
even Aaron's beard: that went down to the skirts of his garments;
As the dew of Hermon, and as the dew that descended upon the mountains of
Zion: for there the LORD commanded the blessing, even life for evermore. (Psa
133:1-3).
Especially inherent in the marriage institution is a peculiar kind of unity, bonding,
and togetherness. This peculiar unity diffuses from every external attack when
both parties remain consecrated to the matrimonial vow and seek God for
solution in the face of any kind of challenge or difficulty.
Life, as they often say, is not always a bed of roses. So is love. When a man loves a
woman, it is not always smooth and trendy. Most often it is like the ride on the
old faithful Greyhound to a very long place.
There are always delays, checks on brakes, tires, and refueling. There are stop
overs, impromptus as well as many other unexpected occurrences. Nevertheless,
the old faithful will certainly get you to your destination.
Marriage is similar to that. It has its beautiful moments, its good times, and
certainly patches of not-so-good moments, and waiting hours in pandemonium
when all get scattered and need patience to set it up and sew it together all over
again.
For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away:
for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts:
therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously. (Mal 2:16).
God disapprove of divorce, the God of Israel declares that He hates putting away.
Therefore, husbands and wives must live in the fear of God, continue their lives
till the very end, in holy love and peace.
 22. They Met on Valentines Day

Donald was fourteen years old when he met Dianna at the wedding of Uncle Fred,
the younger brother of Mr. Reinhardt, Donalds father. Dianna McCarty was a girl
of thirteen when she came with her parents to that Valentine Day's wedding, and
came across Donald in a casual manner.

Was this meeting of Donald and Diana a coincidence, or was it a friendship

already written in the stars?

Anyhow, it did not take Donald so much gazing at the crystal ball to discover that
the little girl sitting beside him inside the church was not just another girl across
the street. He made full use of every opportunity to look her well in the eyes,
touch her dress, held her palms, and force exchanges whenever the opportunity
came.

However, little Diana did not make much out of all these. What else does a girl of
thirteen cares about other than to play, meet people, and get busy with her stuff
and her little world?

How Love Grows

Though their rapport and exchanges at the august meeting encouraged Donald to
start writing mails to Diana, most of which were favorably replied, he was not
bold enough to clearly declare his affection and love for her. He usually ends up
around the topic, but never really got there.

At the peak of his deep feelings for her this year, Donald had become confused,
and disinterested in his studies. How badly he wanted to see Diana, hold her and
touch her. Yet she was so far away. His high school mates and friends noticed his
terrible mood, but Donald would not share the truth with anyone.

He picked up the courage to write a special letter to his girl this time.
The letter got to Dianna late, in the midst of the end-of-the year examination.

Upon her reading the contents, she was equally confused and unsure of the
message.

She went to Jane, a senior girl and close confidant of nineteen.

Jane explained to her that there is no problem having a male friend. You just
need to be careful, and take full control of the relationship, and never mess up
with boys. With experience and maturity, Dianna was guided into better
understanding on how to play with boys without getting into trouble.

Life Staircase

Donald graduated from high school, and was admitted to read polymer science at
Cambridge University.

Two years later Dianna had become a medical student at Kettering University.

During the fall semester of his last year at Cambridge, Donald came home to visit
his mum and brother, Steve. However, top on his mind was the thought of
meeting Dianna, looking into her big blue eyes, and holding her tender hands.

Family is Key

As soon as she got wind of his plans, Dianna shared the news with her parents,
and they did not hesitate to welcome Donald into their home.

The homecoming was great for Donald and his elder brother, Steve.

Steve read economics at Rutgers, and found a job as an investment banker at a

Wall Street business firm after his graduation three years ago. The two young
men remain the main source of joy and inspiration to their mother, after the
sudden death of Mr. Reinhardt two years ago. Though a widow, Mrs. Reinhardt
know how to watch over his children in prayer and good deeds.

Would Donald be coming home to stay a while with me upon his graduation?
Mum asked Steve.

I really dont think so. He wants to start a project right away with one of his
fellow undergraduate students in England. It is a United Nations atomic energy
project, and he would not want to miss the opportunity.

After meal, that night, Donald informed her mother and brother about Dianna.

She has been a good girl from a decent and well-respected home and family. We
hope to meet this Valentine after many years of telephone calls and emails.

Are you getting married so soon, Steve interjected, more out of jealousy, but
also as a result of genuine concern for his younger brother and his immediate
plans after college.

Marriage is out of it! I met Dianna a long time ago during my last year in high
school. We became friends, yet we never met since our first meeting. Both of us
agree its time to see each other again after this long time.

Steve and his mother remained silent, hoping to hear more from Donald about
this mystery girl. They were not disappointed.

She wants to be a surgeon, studying at Kettering. I hope to meet her and parents
next tomorrow. It is arranged that I drive with them to the Allegheny Beach. The
two of us will drive behind her parents on the way to the beach but she would
ride home with her folks, while I drive home alone carrying mums Tuareg Jeep.

It was Donalds great joy to get the approval of his mother and brother.

When Shall I See You Again?

Donald patted his mother on her cheeks, and gave Steve a warm handshake
before driving off to see Diana.

Diana came out to welcome him at the front door. They shook hands, and he
kissed her hand.

There was a warm reception awaiting Donald at the McCartys. He was

introduced to the family by Dianna as a friend and student of polymer science at
Cambridge University.

The parents chatted with Donald, discussed about his mother and brother. The
young man hit them as an intelligent youth and humble person. They felt sad he
lost his father as a little boy. Mr. McCarty was particularly glad he was no longer a
novice about polymer science and related subjects.

Meal was served, and Donald graciously declared that Mrs. McCarty was a great
cook. They all took off for the beach after meal. Donald drove with Dianna in
front, but were closely followed by Mr. and Mrs. McCarty.

The two spoke of their plans after graduation from college. They discussed about
job prospects and career pursuits, life choices, and life on campus.

Donald mustered great amount of effort to declare his long-held opinion to Diana.
If I could have my way, with a great douse of luck and the blessing of Heaven, I
would say that its the greatest wish of my life to spend more time with you,
holding your hands, touching your palms, and just keeping you company all my
life."

This was too much for Dianna to handle.

She blushed, looked away from the driver into the open field beside her as they
drove along, and quickly changed the topic.
I just cannot wait to get started as a licensed medic. It will be wonderful to have
my internship at Kettering with their fantastic equipment and organizational
structure, she declared.

I should probably be your first patient. Need to get my head checked really fast.
Since I set my eyes on a smart girl with blue eyes from the McCarty clan my blood
pressure has ever been on the rise, my affection growing deep, while my gaze has
never wavered to any other, yet she avoids all attempts to get close to her.

Bet you need to see a psychoanalyst fast, and not a surgeon.

May I plead with all my love that you take me out to see one within your
domain?

Dianna busted into laughter, unable to continue with the lovely exchanges from
this not-so-well-known and not-too-distant friend.

Loving Somebody, and Somebody Loves You Back

The beach was a great part of the meeting. Donald was able to touch, feel and
hug Dianna. She was still immature, unexposed, and green, sort of.

She resisted all attempts by Donald to kiss, but had intimate hug and embraces
from him.

He gave her a special card for Valentine, with a unique red rose from England.

Diana loved and appreciated the beautiful card with the red rose flower.

She felt the natural plant send the scent of English love all over her world and
entire surroundings.

It was there and then that she really hugged and held him, with a promise to
love him!!!
It was the first experience of such a close encounter for the two of them, but they
were both aware they truly like and love each other.

They went back to her parents, shared a meal at a special eatery, took some ice
cream, and departed. It was indeed a day Donald, and Dianna in her very
secretive mind, would always wanted to look up to.

As they drove out of his sight, Donald reminded himself that his first meeting with
Dianna was casual, at a Valentine wedding. This meeting was real. He hoped for a
very crucial meeting of the two of them at their own Valentine Day's wedding.

Ides or Karma

On his way home from the beach, as he approached the bridge, Donald heard gun
shots. He slowed down, turned off the road and waited to find out the position of
things. Without thinking twice, he switched off the car engine, jumped out and
locked up the car. He dashed into the nearby bush.

Five minutes later a car pulled up, and stopped right beside his jeep. A man pulled
out of the grey saloon car, holding a pistol in his right hand. Donald could see him
very well, as the man surveyed around the jeep, trying to open it. He could not.
He looked round, but could not see anyone. He waited to hear voices, but was
disappointed he did not hear any voice.

This bearded man in thick mustache and a small sombrero yelled some
command, Lay him on this car, and leave him there to join the chorus in hell
singing praises to the Devil!

Within seconds, Donald saw two men brought out a blood-soaked man from one
of their cars, and placed him on the bonnet of his jeep.

Perfect. What a neat job! He would never try such a trick on me ever again. Jack,
off we go. Keep the speed and maintain the track.
As the leader shouted his command, the team entered their cars and zoomed off
towards the road to Allegheny Beach.

Donald was too scared to speak, he was so confused to realize whether he was
dreaming or seeing the scene in reality. The sight of the gun, the bloody dead
body, and the criminal activities of the gang sickened him.

The young man waited where he was for a moment, then he pulled himself
together, wanted to run, but remembered he left his telephone in the car. He
took a quick survey of the environment, and decided to reach for his car. As he
attempted to open the car door, take his phone and call 911, the police arrived.

A Price for Love

Donald was arrested and accosted by police officers for investigation about the
dead body that was placed on his car. He was also accused of belonging to an
underground robbery gang. Police investigation dragged on for months but
Donald remained in police custody.

His mother got him an attorney, while Steve, his elder brother gave much moral
support through regular visit and encouragement. Since he never met Diana and
her family, Steve could not really communicate well with Diana. The attorney had
brought the two families together, to counsel them on what to say, and to
encourage them he would soon get Donald out of police net.

When Love is true

Diana was truly shocked and terribly worried about the entire circumstances. She
was unsure of what to say and what to believe. Here is a person that she hardly
knows but so much liked, trusted and willing to love. Who really is he? Why did all
these have to fall upon him?

Why is all this happening to him, and to me? She asked, sobbed quietly and solely,
without the ability to console herself.
Diana was too young to understand, and immature to handle such a serious
burden. However, she knows deeply inside that she must bear this burden with
Donald. How to do this, she could not fathom.

As if this onslaught was not enough, a bigger blow soon befell all of them. The
investigation still pin the criminal offences on Donald, and the Jury had a slight
majority to convict him. Six months later, Donald was convicted, and placed on
death row.

It was very perplexing and highly frustrating to tell Diana about the story. Poor
investigation made the matter worse. Donalds mother and brother were totally
depressed but kept faith in God, praying to God for quick respite.

His friends and colleagues were equally concerned, and made plans on how to
appeal the judgment.

Diana was not much of a church-going Christian or religious person. Nevertheless,

her close friend and confidant, Jane Gramkow, belong to the evangelical church.
She was born-again, and a Bible believing Christian. Members of the church
offered prayers regularly for Donald.

One day, Diana summoned courage to attend the evangelical Bible study.

The topic that day was The Faith of the Syro-Phenician Woman. It was a great
study on faith. By the end of the fellowship, Diana knew she needed this kind of
faith very badly and very quickly. She answered the alter call and gave her life to
Christ as a born-again Christian.

Prayer and Faith Seals Love

Diana became strong and better resolved to intercede on behalf of Donald.
Christian friends flocked around her at home and on campus. The understanding
and support of her parents was perfect. She stood with Donald throughout the
trials, in prayers and in faith, with a singular hope that he was innocent and would
be vindicated somehow.
Dianna prayed more regularly for divine intervention and the mercy of God.

She implored God in the day, she prayed fervently at night. She had a strong faith
with a singular focus and great expectations. Many suitors and lovers came,
seeking her hand in love or marriage, but she turned them all down.

Diana persisted in all of these for two good years, unperturbed, undisturbed, and
yet believing that Donald would eventually get a fair trial and good judgment. The
more she studies her Bible and attends fellowship either at home or on campus
the more hope she believe that God will intervene in the case of Donald.

God A stronger Tower for the Righteous

Diana was fully convinced that the love of God is a very strong fortress for all His
children. That God is an impregnable place of abode for all those who trust in
Him, and all the delusions and assaults of Satan can never reach them. The name
of the Lord is a strong tower: the righteous runs into it, and is safe. (Pro18:10).

Ten months after Donalds sentencing, the Legal Counsel for Truth and Justice, a
Non-Government Organization, took over his case, and enlisted it for re-trial. This
took almost one year to go through the processes and judicial system, but it was a
blessing in disguise.

Panoramic sketches of the scene of the crime were re-taken and reviewed. The
new team of investigators took ample time to question Donald, to crosscheck his
story, to weigh the allegations against the presentations of the prosecutor.

A new Prosecutor was appointed, and the new investigation team took time for
thorough investigation, re-examination, and piecing together of new facts and
findings with the old reports. Lack of eye witness account made the re-trial
cumbersome, but they eventually made great progress at the end.

With the aid of forensic experts and fingerprint extracts, the hoodlums who
committed the crimes were apprehended and arrested very far away from the
spot where Donald was arrested, they were tried and convicted.
Precisely two years after he was wrongly arrested, tried and convicted of a crime
he did not commit, the state governor invited the mother and brother of Donald,
the parents of Diana, Diana, and his attorney to the State House.

The Justice Secretary passionately apologized to the families, praised the good
conduct of Donald while under investigation and throughout his detention in
death row. Diana and her church members were specially recognized for their
faith and faithfulness throughout the somber period.

The state and Jury are sorry for the wrongful carriage of judgment during your
first trial. You are hereby pronounced not guilty and free to live your life as you
please. A special award is hereby presented from the State to pay your legal fees,
to cater for some of the inconveniences during this trying period, and pay up your
tuition fees and that of very amiable and faithful close friend, Miss Diana
McCarthy. Once again, please accept the apologies of the State, the Jury
declared.

Donald was freed. Ovations and accolades were poured on him from far and near.
A lot of praises and recognition were accorded Diana for her faithfulness and true
love, especially in times of trial and tribulations.

Donald completed his education at Cambridge, while Dianna was practicing as a

surgeon. Diana introduced the scriptures to Donald, and also brought his mother
and brother to the evangelical church.

The United Nations polymer project got wind of the plight of Donald, and invited
him to take his rightful position already reserved for him.

Donald and Diana were married on the lovers day of St. Valentine, and settled
down in England, living in a country home with plentiful English red roses.
 23. The Virtuous Woman

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have
no need of spoil.

She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household,
and a portion to her maidens.

She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she
planteth a vineyard.

She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out
by night.

She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her
hands to the needy.

She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household
are clothed with scarlet.

She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and

purple.
Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders
of the land.

She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the
merchant.

Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to
come.

She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of
kindness.

She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the
bread of idleness.

Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he
praiseth her.

Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the
LORD, she shall be praised.

Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in
the gates. (Pro 31:10-31).
 24. A Disciplined Husband

Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of
thine own well.

Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the

streets.

Let them be only thine own, and not strangers' with thee.

Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.

Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy
thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.

And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and
embrace the bosom of a stranger?

For the ways of man are before the eyes of the LORD, and he
pondereth all his goings. (Pro 5:15-21).

Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife,
and let every woman have her own husband.

Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise
also the wife unto the husband.

The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and
likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the
wife.

Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time,
that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together
again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. (1Co 7:2-5).
 25. Cornerstones of a Happy Home

Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it:
except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.
(Psa 127:1).
Christian homes are godly homes.

Christian homes are happy homes.

Christian homes are sacred homes for The Lord, homes where husbands love their
wives as Christ love the Church and gave Himself for it.

Christian homes are homes where wives are submissive in the godly sense to their
husbands.

Christian homes are homes, families and houses where children learn how to love
God, where they learn how to fear God, and how to do the will of God.

Christ is the cornerstone of the Church of God.

He is also the keystone for all thriving witnessing Christians.
Jesus Christ with His Word, and with His Holy Spirit, is the centerpiece of the life
of genuine Christians, and therefore, He is the foundation of the happy home of
all His children.

There is a false way that seems right unto the people of the world, but the end
thereof is the ways of death.

The people of the world look out as Samson, Solomon, and Demas would look out
for love. He finds him a go-go girl on the highway, and picks her up. They get
together like Samson and Delilah. They get engaged, and had extravagant society
wedding.

Unfortunately, what goes around comes around, the marriage hits the rocks. This
is because it was planted in the flesh, rather than upon the true love of Jesus.
Such instances have become a common phenomenon, a popular occurrence. As
the number of divorced parents increases, so will the number of their children
that get divorced. Like father like son, like mother like daughter!

Materialism and fulfilling the views and desires of man is the centerpiece of
humanism. Its focus is selfishness, self-centeredness, self-pride, covetousness,
jealousy, immorality, promiscuity, insecurity, sensuality, improper thoughts,
distrust, fearfulness, and so on.

The material world, nominal Christians, merely religious people are not interested
in earnestly seeking Bible truth on love and godly home developments because it
will impinge on their free-fall lifestyles, transform their worldview, condemn their
illicit leisure and pleasure, and would require a revolutionary change in their way
of life and love pattern.

Fundamentals

God speaks to us through His Holy Spirit and biblical truth proven over time
through incontrovertible basis of Principle, Precept, Practice and Prudence.

All living things obtain strength and health by feeding appropriately and
adequately upon sound diet. In the same vein, spiritual growth comes through
adequate exposure to the Word of God and the impartation of the Holy Spirit.

Principle: Gods principles stand behind all the precepts, practices and prudence
by which He declare His immutable truth and make His oracles and revelation
known to all mankind.

Our duty is to tap into those principles in faith and in truth for our maximal
benefit. Just like Adam and Eve made their choices in the Garden, so each of us
has the privilege to choose and live by the principle of God or by the way of the
world and Satan.
Our responsibility, of course, is to discover and apply them. Thats relatively easy
when the principle is directly stated as the justification for a command or practice
and is introduced the Bible.

Precept: The precepts of God are direct commandment of God deeply rooted in
His principle, e.g. Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he
cannot see the kingdom of God. (Joh 3:3).

Practice: How to do the will of God in love and in life, and implement biblical
principles and precepts are clearly explained in the Bible through the power of the
Holy Spirit and the inspiration of God. However, how many of the total world
population care to read and live by the Bible and be endued by the Holy Spirit.

Prudence: Every human being who has attained the age of reason is endowed by
God to wisely hear His Truth, to faithfully live by it, and truthfully love by it. There
is no other prudent path than the way of God, and to follow otherwise is death.

According to the Bible, romance, wedding and marriage are based on the Godly
principle of betrothal, whereby Parents gave out their virgin daughter to eligible
bachelors in marriage.

God gave Eve to Ada.

Sarah was betrothed to Abraham by the consent of their parents.

Rebecca was betrothed to Isaac by Bethuel, the son of Nahor, Abrahams brother.

Mary, mother of Jesus, was betrothed to Joseph.

The biblical standard in marriage is by betrothal directly by the father of the virgin
girl to an accepted eligible bachelor, after acceptable period of biblically standard
of courtship as witnessed in Book of Songs and elsewhere in the Bible.

Foundations
Standing upon the four legged basis of Principle, Precept, Practice and Prudence,
the betrothal model remains the normative standard for romance, wedding and
marriage, and continues to be from the very first family in the Garden of Eden.

The biblical betrothal standard of romance and marriage has proven to stand the
test of the ages through the basis of Piety, Patriarchy, Purity, Preparedness, and
Patience.

Piety: Piety is a virtue of godliness, righteousness or holiness attainable by

genuinely born-again Christians who have been sanctified by the grace of God,
after salvation.

This virtue and Christian characteristic displays pure devotion Christ, the true
Church of Christ and ones true lover rather than self or personal will. Piety makes
us focus on inward character rather than outward beauty as glamorized in the
world.

Piety enables the Christian in true love and affection to attain or emulate the
righteous attitudes and conduct of Jesus Christ as the lover of a holy bride, the
true Church of God.

Patriarchy: The roles of parents are part of the marriage institution as enshrined
in the major function given to Adam by God at creation. And God blessed them,
and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth,
Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception;
in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband,
and he shall rule over thee. (Gen 1:28, 3:16).

Godly parents are endowed with the role of being fruitful in marriage, bearing
godly children, and preparing their offspring for adult life, leadership and parental
roles. The fathers leadership is definitive in scriptural romance and marriage.

In brief, the father and his wife lovingly prepares, protects and provides their
daughters and sons as adequate spinsters and eligible bachelors for marriage to
worthy fiancs and fiances.
Purity: Purity in love and courtship cones the pure nature of the two parties in
love and courtship to wait in their respective virgin and chaste conditions until the
wedding proper is consummated.

Never mind their frequency and popularity in movies, love stories and public life
and private affairs, intimate romance, petting, perking, kissing, hand-holding,
hugging and so many other forms of intimate display of love and affection are
reserved only within marriage.

Preparedness: Preparedness alludes to the spiritual, vocational and financial

readiness for marriage by both the man and the woman. basically completed
before courtship ever began.

Has the young man developed adequate marketable skills (not just a degree or a
job) to support a wife and family, preferably through a family business that would
allow him to achieve his God-ordained family priorities and include his wife as his
dominion helper (Gen. 1:27f; 2:18)? Has he saved his money for marriage and
avoided the slavery of debt? Has the young lady developed her skills and talents
to be not only a domestic helper but also a dominion helper to assist her husband
in his life work? If any spiritual or vocational shortcomings are discovered during
courtship, they must be corrected before any further progress in the relationship.

Patience: Patience, an attitude of walking by faith, not by sight, involves trusting

in our sovereign God to accomplish His perfect plan. Its not easy to maintain
patience when you think you have your target (Mr. Right) in your sights.

But what if it doesnt turn out, as Naomi cautioned Ruth?

Foolish young people often fall into lusting rather than trusting during this crucial
stage of investigating a spouse. So you must prepare yourself, young men and
ladies, to say No to several second best choices while you patiently wait for Gods
best.
Essentials

Jesus Christ is the cornerstone of a Christian marriage where mutual respect,

gentleness of Christ in words, deeds, and action, and honesty with probity in
financial and non-financial matters hold sway.

1. Love one another Husband love your wife, wife submit yourself to your
husband.
2. Care for one another
3. Be kind to one another
4. Honor one another
5. Receive one another
6. Lie not to one another -
7. Comfort one another
8. Pray for one another
9. Mind the same burdens
10. Tarry for one another
11. Admonish (Counsel) one another
12. Edify one another
13. Bear one anothers burden
14. Forbear one with another
15. Speak not evil of one another
16. Grudge not against one another
17. Judge not one another
18. Defraud (deny) not one another.
19. Forgive one another
20. Be not puffed up against one another
21. Have peace with one another
22. Confess your faults to one another
23. Submit one to another
24. Exhort one another