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The Confidence Skyscraper

The Confidence Skyscraper by The Confidence Magnet Follow Me! http://twitter.com/magnetradio 1 Visit The Site!

by The Confidence Magnet

Part I.

1. Introduction

Table Of Contents

2. What Is Confidence?

3. Steps To Success

4. Don't Expect Fireworks

5. Build Your Self-Esteem Like A Skyscraper

Part II.

6. A New Way of Thinking

7. Rejection And Failure—How To Love Them

8. Losing Your Identity

9. Confidence For No Reason

10. Conclusion


This eBook can be considered a philosophy book, a manual, or better


an avalanche of confidence flow upon you to the point that it's unfair why

you haven't figured this out years ago .


blueprint to build your self-esteem like a skyscraper. You will feel

Let me put out a disclaimer: I am not a guru or specialist in the area of human psychology and I am not making any guarantees that the methods and ideology in this eBook will work, but what will happen is you will learn something and you will be entertained. Your success or failure is totally on you.

What this product attempts to do is take the average person and help them build their confidence to the point that they improve any area of their lives. The principles, once applied on a consistent basis, could actually turn you into a whole new person. The question is are you ready to make the change? Are you ready to go from who you are now to who you want to be? If you are ready to do that then you definitely need to keep reading.

What I focus on in this eBook is how to change your mentality on being a confident person. Most people think that confidence is all about having it all and being good-looking with fame and fortune. You could have that if that's the route you want to take, but in this book we don't focus on that. We focus on building your self-esteem to the point that you are not faking being confident but you are just being yourself and people will say, “You are full of yourself” with a smile because they like the way your confidence shines through and how certain you are in yourself.

But first I'm gonna ask you a question:

What Is Confidence?

Most people would answer this by saying something like:

A person who is rich

A man who has beautiful women all around him

A person who is talented

A person who is successful in everything

Let me give you a simple answer: Confidence is a trust and love you have for yourself. If you trust someone you can tell them things in “confidence”. If you love someone, you are “confident” or “trust” that this person has your best interests. A simple definition but we sometimes lack confidence because we lack trust and love within ourselves. Look at all of your favorite actors/entertainers who lost their lives to drugs or suicide. They had the fame, the money, the talent, the fans, but there was something missing. They figured out that fame and fortune is not always the path to happiness. Success does not always equate happiness and confidence. If you have success, but no happiness it's kinda pointless because you want your success to bring joy to your life. It's kinda like “what came first the chicken or the egg?” What comes first, confidence or success? If you want to be truly happy you have to love yourself first before you can have love for others or have others love you.

The word respect must be applied as well. Self-respect is so

important. If you don't respect yourself, you may put any garbage into your body. If you don't respect yourself then others will find it almost impossible to respect you. This is one of the reasons why people

can't find true happiness

from others. If you were to enforce respect, then you would find more happiness in the way others treat you. Doors would open up almost automatically and all you have to do is walk through. Respect must


of respect either self-respect or respect

be top priority if you want to have joy in your life. If you are not getting the things you want, don't sacrifice your self-respect for success or material things. You will only find that those things are not the path to your happiness. The true path is having inner confidence and self- respect.

Confidence and self-respect WILL bring you happiness because others will treat you the way you want to be treated, you will love and

trust yourself, and you will get what you want out of life

Success alone is not the path to happiness, but only a by-product of



Confidence alone does not bring success. With the help of this eBook, you will learn how to bring the two together so you can have true happiness.

Steps To Success

Before you can become a success you have to learn the steps to success. If you don't know the steps then you will miss the whole point. Success, as I said before, is not the way to true happiness all the time, but success can bring confidence if it is something that you truly want out of life. If you set out to do something, and are not successful, then it can break your confidence. In later chapters I will show you the mentality to have when setback come up in your life. Anyway, when you succeed in something that you set out to do, it brings joy and motivates you to keep going.

Lack of motivation is the reason why there are fewer successes in this world. Mediocrity is the norm and following your dreams is kind of looked down upon. For example, if you want to become a musician, people that care about you most will tell you things like, “Get a real job” or “Quit dreaming”. The mediocre thing to do is get a job. Jobs are a sure way to make money but it may not bring you joy or serve a purpose but pay a few bills. Dreams are more uncertain but if you reach them then they can bring you so much meaning and joy. Another thing about dreams are they can sometimes become nightmares. When this happens it's not always a bad thing. All this means is it's time to learn how to deal with the “reality” of your dream. People think that once you become rich and famous that all your problems will go away, but that's when you have a new set of problems that you need to learn how to handle. The better you handle these problems the better you will enjoy your life as a rich and famous person. As the saying goes, “More money, more problems”, but if you learn how to handle or solve those problems you will see the rewards are far greater than the problems that came with them.

I think we are getting ahead of ourselves, this chapter is not about being a rich and famous and the joy it can bring. No, this chapter is about steps to being a success in whatever you do. Remember, we

all have different paths in our lives that is why this template can be applied anywhere you want to do.

The first step is a major step because once you do this step it kind of lets the other steps slide into place. You must Let Go of Past Interpretations of Failure and Flaws. There are going to be bad times in our lives that we think failures is a guarantee. And to be honest it is, but it is how we look at the failure that determines if we will be successful or not. That is why you have to let go of the interpretation you are giving that failure. If you start your own business and you are not getting a profit in one year, you may take that as being a failure and you may quit, but someone else may say to themselves, “what else do I need to learn so I can make a profit consistently?”. When you ask yourself that question you will find your answer because your brain will go to work.

In Tony Robbins book, AWAKEN THE GIANT WITHIN, he talks about questions being the answer. This is true, if we have a bad experience we could ask ourselves victimized questions such as,“why me?” or we can ask empowering questions that will help us with a solution such as, “How can I learn from this?”. In both questions your brain will go to work and look for the answer. Be careful in what questions you ask yourself. You want to increase the chances of your success by asking empowering, constructive questions.

The way to build confidence in yourself is to learn and move on. If someone beat you in competition, you need to learn what they did that beat you and what you did that allowed you to get beaten. If you've learned from the experience, you will be more aware of how to do something and how not to do something.

Most of our lack of confidence comes from lack of trust. Either ourselves or someone else. One reason for lack of trust is because we put ourselves in a certain situation that made us fail or get harmed. If you've ever failed at something numerous times, you will find it hard

to trust your own judgment. That is why you have to let go of past negative interpretations of your failures and flaws and also Forgive The Person or Event That Caused The Damage. In most cases we have to forgive ourselves because we lack the trust we need to succeed. If you put yourself in a compromising situation such as someone violating you, it may take longer to get over but you must. If you can't forgive yourself then you will never trust yourself in compromising situations. It's funny how we can have more confidence in others than we have in ourselves. In certain situations it's called for if the person is trained in something that we are not such as a specialist. But in other situations it's in situations where there is an even playing field. If you are capable of doing something that another person is then you need to trust yourself as well. If that other person knows more than you— learn from that person. Then know that you can do better than you've done before.

Sometimes success is all about timing. We are not ready to be successful because we wouldn't know how to handle it. If someone made you an owner of a billion-dollar company with no business experience, you may run that business into the ground. We wouldn't

know how to succeed in success for long. That is why your failure is better in the beginning. If you struggle in the beginning, you will notice that it won't be much of a struggle later on. Just like exercise, your muscles and lungs have to struggle in the beginning so it won't be much of a struggle later on. Believe it or not but we are being tested every day of our waking lives. I don't care if you are in school or


learn from anything is by Learning From Experience or The

Experiences of Others. I'm not saying aim for failure but if it comes

your way, learn from it

learn how someone else failed or succeeded. When you do this you are actually accelerating your success rate. If I were a successful businessman and told you to do exactly as I did and made it simple and doable, you could have the same success. You may not get it instantly but it takes the guesswork that trial and error brings.


always gives you a pop quiz. And the only way you can truly

Trial and error is one way to learn or you can

When someone sets out to do great things they sometimes don't know where to start. That is why you must Have A Positive Plan For Success. If you want to be a doctor there are certain things you need to do to reach that goal. If you want to have a herd of hot women chasing you, you have to have a plan for that as well. You need to learn a few things and you have to have a new attitude or mindset that goes with what you set out to do. You cannot have the mentality “It's too hard” or “It'll take forever”. That's the great thing about a positive plan. It actually makes things easier for you. Before you know it, you may find that you succeeded in a shorter time than you thought.

Belief is something that is all in the mind. Sometimes evidence or lack of evidence doesn't even shake a belief. The concept of God or a Higher power is ingrained into the world's mind. No one has ever seen God (even though some claim to have), but they still believe he exist. Why? Because they and the world has learned since they were born that there is a god. Why can't you have that same faith in yourself. Why can't you say that I am a success even though the

evidence doesn't show

broadcast to the world if there is no evidence. Just know it within yourself. That brings me to the fifth step Have An Unshakable Belief That Success Is A Definite Possibility. So what makes you a success? Well, you are a success because it starts in your head first. Do you know that rich and poor is all a state of mind? Let me elaborate on this one:


Something like this you don't have to

You have two people--one with millions in his bank account and the other with knowledge in his head. The one with the big bank may spend everything in a matter of years but the one that has only knowledge may be building his wealth at the same time. You may come to a point where the man with a lot of money may be broke and the other may be wealthy. Why? State of mind, baby.

In order for you to be a success you have to know that success is in

your reach if you do certain things to get to it. I'm not saying say that you are a success without putting in some work. Hell no! Success is

a journey not a movie or book you read. Success is a path that must

be taken. You have to learn a few things before you start your journey, while you are on your journey, and when you have reached your destination. That is why Action is the most important step. In order to make things work, you have to add fuel and power to it. You have to get ideas and put those ideas into action. If not then you are just delusional. You are no better than the man who claims he is God when, in reality, he is just some homeless man who is either drunk, high or just plain crazy. Action is how to you get from where you are to where you want to be. If you don't take action then others will take actions for you and, in some cases, those actions aren't in your best interests. I'm not saying that others helping you is bad but, without action, all you are doing is dreaming.

The thing about action is sometimes we take the wrong actions. Why? Because we are human and we make mistakes. We don't have the guidance that we need in order to do things right. Tweak Your Flaws and make a few adjustments here and there. Some adjustments could be minor and some could be major. In the dating community, being a “nice guy” is bad. If you are considered a nice guy then you need to tweak the parts about you that are repelling women. For example, you may let others take advantage of you. In

this instance, be generous but don't let others take your generosity as

a weakness. So instead of being known as the dreaded “nice guy” you will be known as a generous guy.

When you tweak your flaws, you will realize that certain things don't serve a purpose anymore. If you have an old typewriter, you don't really need it anymore if you have a computer. If you have old ideas that served a purpose in the past, they may be hindering your success in the present. That's when you discard those ideas and bring them back when the times ask for them. If you are in a place with no electricity, a typewriter will be an excellent tool. The same thing with

ideas. If you have ideas that made you money in the past you can bring back those ideas if it's a time for them. Look at all those styles that were out twenty or thirty years ago that made a comeback. It's all about timing.

Success isn't just about reaching a destination on a journey

it's all

about Growth. When we take our first steps as a child we are reaching a new stage of development. When we have a success in one area of our lives, we have growth. What was once a struggle is now manageable. What was once difficult is now easy. Growing is the part of success that changes us from novice all the way to expert. You see, it may not make you into instant expert, but you will get better at what you do. I love it when I was once struggling with something, later on I got back to it and it was a breeze. Remember when you were a kid and you lifted the milk jug and it felt like you were lifting a 40-pound weight? If you were to lift a milk jug today it would feel way lighter. Why is that? Our muscles have grown and we have lifted things as heavy as the milk jug and heavier, that made the milk jug weight seem minor. Same thing with some struggles in our lives. If we come across a problem a few times, our brain tends to find a way to either manage it or solve it. If you are having money problems, your brain (depending on your attitude) will find a way for you to either manage the money you already have or find a way for you to make more money. By the way, money management is one of the best ways to solve money problems. If you are good at managing your money, you will spend it wisely. If you are having relationship problems your brain will tell you how to either solve the problem or manage it. Depending on what you do, this could make or break the relationship. Relationships are very tricky because it is not just about you but about the other person as well. So if you are not compatible with the other person then you should find someone else before you go deeper into the relationship. It may hurt at first, but relationships are not just about being with someone but being with someone that you are compatible with that loves and respect you.

There is going to be a time in your life that you have mastery in a field or area of your life. Just like you were on a journey, others are on the same journey. When these people come across your path, you can now Pass On Your Knowledge. When I say come across your path it may not be physically face-to-face. It may be through video, over the phone, or a book that you've written. When people have succeeded in an area of their lives and write a step-by-step guide, this is not only passing on knowledge but also a way to make big bucks. You will be rewarded some way for your efforts. It isn't always money that we strive for when we pass on our knowledge. Our egos need to

be boosted from time to time. It's okay

human being has some type of an ego. Just the feeling of knowing that YOU have passed on your knowledge so others can thank you and tell you how much success you have brought them is a giant ego booster. That's why people always say, “give me my props”. If you don't know what that means it means “acknowledge the fact that I have done something that is valuable”. Why do you think men want to have sons? They want to pass on their wisdom to a mini-version of themselves. So when they die, there will be another version of them still living.


human and every

Now the last step is not really a step but more of a mentality to have during the whole process. When we set out to do something we are told that we should take it seriously. I agree and disagree. Serious as in stick with it, but don't take it too serious that it is more of a chore or job. That is why Having Fun is so important. When you have fun with something it doesn't matter how long it takes because time is no longer an issue. When we were kids we didn't worry about our weight. When we played, we enjoyed ourselves, but not caring was what kept our weight in check. We didn't like to eat a lot but we couldn't wait until it was time to play. We have lost our fun factor due to growing up. We have been conditioned to grow up and take things more serious. So what did we do? We made everything into a chore— losing weight, exercise, working at a job we hate, and the list goes on. We lost our imagination and our ability to make something boring into

something fun. We need to reconnect with that inner child to become a true success. Don't get me wrong, we still need to be mature, responsible adults, but we also need to have fun in our lives to keep that balance. If you were to go out and talk to beautiful women, don't worry about them liking you, but just have fun. You will get better results. If you find a way to make extra money doing what you love and is fun to do, then you will be more successful at that than trying to get promoted at a job that you hate.

So let's recap:

1. Let Go of Negative Interpretations of Past Failures and Flaws.

2. We need to Forgive The Person or Event That Caused The

Damage (that's mentally, physically, financially, etc)

3. Learn From Experience either from ourselves or others

4. Have a Positive Plan For Success

5. Have An Unshakable Belief That Success Is A Definite Possibility

6. Take Action

7. Tweak Our Flaws

8. Grow

9. Pass On Our Knowledge

10.Have Fun Throughout The Whole Process

The beauty about these steps is that it can be applied to anything you set out to do. If you are trying to overcome something, trying to acquire a skill, build a strong relationship, build a business, build wealth--it doesn't matter. So what I want you to do is copy these steps and put them in a place where you can refer to anytime things get rough. The whole process could be instantaneous or it could take a lifetime, but it does work and it can be accelerated with a little extra help.

On to the next chapter

Don't Expect Fireworks

The reason why confidence and success evades us is because we expect fireworks or magic as soon as we set out to do something. Life plays no favorites but you can have things go in your favor if you know

how to align yourself in the right direction. If you want to be rich you cannot align yourself with poor people. You have to align yourself with rich people. If you want a swarm of women or men begging to be with you, you have to align yourself with attractive people. This doesn't always mean good-looking, rich, or the stereotype. It means align yourself with charismatic people, charming people, seductive people. We as humans tend to be influenced whether we want to or not. If you hang around people who complain you will find yourself doing

what they do

success, success will come easier. Is this always true? Not at all. As a matter of fact you may in fact do the opposite. The thing is the influence needs to be invited first then it takes over. For example, if you grew up in a poor neighborhood all your life and you were so miserable that you decided that you want to become rich, you are going to reject anything that says “broke”. You may do it in a constructive way or a destructive way, but you will try to make your wishes come true.


If you are in an environment that is built for

I think that this chapter is very important because it actually prevents you from quitting. When you expect things to happen almost instantly, you are in for a rude awakening. The reason why the “get-rich-quick” market thrives is because people want to have instant success without going through the trials and tribulations. The only get rich quick scheme that works is good information about making a lot of money.

Let me elaborate on that a bit. If you are learning how to sell or invest it may take months even years depending on your level. But once you learn how to sell or invest then you could possibly make millions in

less than a year

in the beginning though. Especially if you work at a job all your life


even in days! This isn't going to be easy

with no type of selling or investing skills. All your brain knows is how to make an hourly wage. When you learn how to sell or invest, your brain actually has to re-wire itself to succeed. That is why good information on how to sell and invest is so much more valuable than a get-rich-quick scam. The only people who get rich are the people selling you the product. They prey off of your ignorance to becoming rich. They are actually applying the skills needed to sell—finding a need, selling to people's emotions, and so on and so fourth.

The story of “love at first sight” is so attractive to women. They hope to meet their prince charming someday with one of those moments. This is pure fairy tale, storybook non-sense. In order to love someone

you have to get to know them. What you are experiencing (and I'm sorry to ruin this for you, but I'm not sorry) is lust, crush, fantasy, but not love. Do you know that there are people who study how to act

and not act to attract people

your fantasy world for a moment and call it for what it is then you can actually get to find out if that person is worth your love. This is the reason why you hear people say, “you are not the person I met. You've changed”. Sometimes this isn't a change but a mask or facade that was put up to lure you in. This is why you shouldn't look for love in the first encounter. Hell not even expect anything. If you like what you see then go up and to know the person first. Talk, hang out, have sex, or whatever you need to do to find out if you want to be with this person. And yes I added sex because if you don't have sex early on you may not like the sex when you have it later. In any relationship, lack of sex or poor performance in sex leads to problems. This also means that you have to fix your flaws and work on yourself so you won't be the problem in the relationship.


if it isn't genuine. If you get out of

When there are fireworks, enjoy them. That is the moment that things are going right. Even if it is in the beginning. Just know that you still need to keep learning and growing to keep the fireworks going. When things are not going the way you want them, don't feel bad. Just like the seasons, most people like the heat but hate the cold, so when

Spring and Summer comes along they enjoy it. I love the Spring and Summer. That is the time of the year when I can go swimming (the Summer, that is), go outside with a t-shirt, women start wearing less showing off their nice bodies, and the list goes on. Anytime the Fall and Winter comes, I don't get depressed or lose my confidence. I just dress to stay warm and look forward to the warm weather again. Life still goes on.

Build Your Self-Esteem Like A Skyscraper

There is one major factor that affects our confidence and that is self- esteem—how we feel about ourselves. Someone could be very talented but feel like they are worthless. Like I said success and confidence aren't the same. If you want to be truly confident you must have a healthy high self-esteem. This doesn't mean be arrogant, but know that you are valuable no matter the outcome in your life. I want

you to picture this for a second. It may be minor or it may be major but it will help you see the worth that you already have so far. Think of a time that you did something that helped someone out. Think of something that you know that can actually helped someone's life change for the better. It doesn't matter how minor or major it is just think of it. What do you think would happen if you were not alive or born? That's right these things would not have come to pass. You could say that someone else could have done it, but you are missing

did! Now let's get on to

the whole point. No one else has done it the building of your self-esteem.


When it comes to any type of architecture, there has to be a strong foundation. The ground that it is actually build on has to be firm and leveled. There can be no sinking or lopsidedness of your foundation. If there is it will compromise the whole building once it is erected (if you are thinking of a penis when I wrote “erected” get your mind out of the gutter). Anyway, for a person to have a strong and lasting success full of happiness, they must have a strong solid foundation of who they are and what they want out of life. If someone tries to tell them that they can't do something, they just shrug it off and go about their business. Will this be easy? Not always. Depending how strong your foundation is. So how do you build a strong foundation? First clear your mind of any garbage that hinders your self-esteem. Unworthy thoughts must be eliminated as soon as possible. This is like leveling the land getting it ready for the foundation and support.

The next thing you do is start building your reinforcements. You want your reinforcements to be strong and durable. For architecture, they use support beams made from strong steel beams. In building your self-esteem, you are going to need to have a strong belief that you can find happiness and success. It may not be evident at the time but we never know what the future holds. When you practice and act in a

certain way that you want to be then something happens. You start to believe it as who you are and then it is a part of you. Let me explain. No one is something on their own. Doctors are not born they are made. When you were a baby you did not know how to read, write, or your numbers. As you got older you went to school and you learned how to do these things. As far as being who you want to be you have to model the personality you want to have. This could mean losing

your identity and I will talk about that later on.

have to model the person you want to be. If you want go from a geek to super smooth you have to model and accept super smooth people. The main reason why most aren't successful with modeling is because they reject the very thing they want to be. If a fat woman sees a hot, slim woman what does she say about the slim woman? She will have a dislike for this woman without even knowing who this woman is but in reality she wants to be like this woman—slim, getting attention from “attractive” guys, etc. If this is what you do then you need to stop immediately. As an exercise think of a behavior or personality you would like to have and model it. This means practicing it until it feels natural. This will be uncomfortable at first but you will start to get use to it and notice that it is now a part of YOUR personality. Your personality and behavior is like plumbing and electicity that powers and sends water to the many rooms in the building.

As for right now you

Architectures all need a solid well-built roof that will protect whatever is underneath it from rain and temperature. This is the equivalent to your brain. You brain has the power to accept and reject whatever you give it. The reason why you want your mind right is because that is the source of your self-esteem. If you have a bad day it sends a signal to your brain that sends a signal to the rest of your body and

this affects your behavior or mood. If you have a good day the same thing happens. What you want to do is have the power to accept things that are beneficial to your life and reject what is nonsensical. Beneficial could be something that you may want to reject such as criticism. For example, if you want to be something and someone tells you that you are lazy and your actions show that you are lazy, then this could actually help you because they are addressing the problem by being honest with you. Something that is nonsensical could be something that you enjoy doing but it is not helping you. In fact it could be the very thing that is destroying you. To prevent this from happening you have to know who you are and what you want to become. If you are lazy and want to be successful in any field then you have to filet the “lazy bones” out your body. It may take getting use to but once you get use to it, it will be a part of you. You will be successful and have the balance of work, play, and rest.

Self-Esteem and your brain is connected like you wouldn't believe. You must have a strong foundation of who you are and what you want out of life. You have to have a strong belief that you have the power to make things happen and have joy and happiness in your life. When things get confusing it doesn't hurt to learn from someone else. This could be reading, watching videos, listening to audios, or even talking to someone who knows more and who has been through what you want to succeed. A high self-esteem keeps successful people happy. You have to be honest with yourself. You can't be delusional. Take the actions needed to bring joy to your life. Don't look to others for approval and permission to feel good about yourself. Self-esteem come from inside you.

Part II

A New Way of Thinking

In part one we talked about the mentality to have. In the second part we are gonna focus more on the Transformation. This is the part where you have to have an open mind. It is about living instead of spectating. It's about doing. Your new mindset should be an action- oriented mindset. You are like a scientist or researcher in this part of the the transformation. You will see what works and what doesn't. If you lack confidence approaching someone you like, then you must learn how to approach. Approaching gets easy if you know what to do and what not to do. If you want to start your own business, you have to learn how to be a business owner. Owning a business will be a rude awakening if you are an employee, but you will see that owning a business can be ten times rewarding. The list goes on. There is information that I can give you and there is information that others have. The internet has so much free information that you can learn anything in a short period of time for free. There is also paid information. You know that there is good paid information and bad paid information. You will find things that is actually so helpful that you bought it at a bargain.

In the next few chapters I'm gonna share with you a new way of thinking that works like you wouldn't believe. It will have your confidence go from 0-60 in 7 seconds. It may be hard to grasp at first because of your conditioning but if you give it a chance you will be happier even in times of failure. That's right in times of failure!

Speaking of failure

Rejection And Failure—How To Love Them

By the title of this chapter you may think that I am crazy. Who loves failure? Who loves rejection? Why would I write such crazy stuff? The reason is that failure and rejection is like a weight. The more you get rejected and the more you fail, the stronger you can become. For example, if you lift weights you will notice that you will reach a point that your muscles can't take it anymore and tell you to stop. This is the point of failure. This is actually good failure because your muscles will be sore but they will repair themselves so you can lift again. After you do this a few times you will realize that the weight actually gets easier and you will do more reps. The same thing can be applied to other things in your life. If you like someone and they reject you, this could be a message that you are not their type or you need to work on your approach. It may hurt but that just means you need to get rejected a few times so it will not hurt so much when it does happen. Another thing happens, you will learn how to attract people in a way that they will accept you for who you are. Confidence even when you fail or get rejected actually builds your attraction to others.

Rejection also could mean that something isn't for you. You have to stop looking at the pretty wrapper and look at what's inside the package. Beautiful people are very attractive but just like everyone else they come with problems. Sometimes even more problems than you can handle. Sometimes beautiful people have lower self-esteem than an average person. Don't believe me? Models are no strangers to drugs, anorexia, bulimia, and other things so they can stay thin. They are relying solely on their appearance and what people think of them to feel good about themselves. If you take an average woman and put her side by side by a model, the model may look more beautiful, but the average woman may be someone who you can actually find yourself being in a better relationship with. The thing is there are beautiful, average women! Some are model-like but not actually models! It is your job to open the package and see what's


The same thing can be applied to sales. Selling can be very difficult if you are not use to the sales environment. You will hear 100 “no's” before you hear a “yes”. You will actually come to a point that you will hear so many no's that you will say “what's the point?” but something amazing happens when you continue, you learn how to take rejection without feeling like a failure and also you will learn how to pull a “yes” more often. It's a numbers game! When you hear a yes more often it adds to your sales ability and you will realize that selling actually is more rewarding than hourly wages. I'll give you an example: Let's say you work eight hours a day. You make $10 an hour. Someone else sells items for $8 a piece. On a good day, let's say that that person sells 3 items an hour and also works eight hours a day. Who makes more money? You or the salesman? Let's do the math:

You: $10 X 8hrs = $80 gross a day

Salesman: 3 X $8 = $24 in one hour; $24 X 8 hrs. = $192 gross a day

You see the salesman works the same amount of hours but makes more than double what you make! Isn't sales exciting! All you would need to do is get over the rejection and feelings of failure and learn how to sell products and you could probably make more than that. Let say that you sold something for $100 an item and sold three items an hour. I don't think I need to do the math to show how much of an advantage sales has over hourly wages if you are good at it.

Rejection and failure makes you stronger as time goes by. It may not seem that way in the beginning but it does get easier to handle and actually helps you with your success, but (and this is a big but), you have to ask yourself how can you become successful and what is it that you can improve to get you to reduce the rejection and increase your success rate. This will put your brain to work and you will actually find a solution when you do this. Rejection and failure, if

asked the right questions, exercises your brain to make it stronger and help you find solutions. There are gonna be times when you want to give up because there is so much rejection in your life. That is when I give you the advice to rest and restart. You can never do something with frustration on your brain and expect to succeed if you don't know how. It's like finding your way in the dark you are gonna stumble and possibly bump into things, but once a light shines through the room, just a little, it gives you a better vision on where to go. When you don't know what to do you will stumble and fail but once you learn how to handle it and overcome it you will be better than you once were.

Learn to love rejection the way a bodybuilder loves his weights.

Losing Your Identity

I mention in an earlier chapter that once you start to have a new mindset it will be like you are losing your identity. But what kind of

identity do you want? Sometimes you think that you will lose your friends if you change who you are. If you start to stand up for yourself you may think that people will not like you anymore. Let me ask you,

if this person cared about you, would they want you to be taken

advantage of? Some people love to act like they have your best interests but only if it benefits them. That is why you have to treat yourself like you are the most important person who has ever walked this earth. That is your new identity. What do important people do?

First off they respect themselves and command that respect in others. They are valuable to others. What makes the owner of a Fortune 500 company, or any company at that, so important? This person is the one who directs where the company can go. A business is like a machine. It has people work like gears and if one gear is not working

it can actually compromise the whole machine. The owner of the

company is like the owner of the machine. He hires people to make sure his machine is running smoothly and if anything goes wrong, he let's them solve the problem. Your world is like a machine and you have to make sure it runs smoothly. You have to direct your world in the direction you want it to go. You will find people along the way that can help you the way a manager helps the boss run things on the sales floor.

As an important person respect is your core aim in life. People could say they love you to death but if they don't respect you then you need to either earn it or leave them alone. Some people aren't capable of respecting anybody. These are the people you stay away from. Respect comes from having a high self-esteem. If you are poor or your status is low right now then you need to build up your status by

going through certain things to bring it up. Just like being promoted at

a job—as you get promoted, you get a raise, you get more power and

where there is power a certain amount of respect comes with it. You don't want to be respected solely off of your position you hold in a company, but you also want to respected because you are a person worth respecting. You don't want people respecting you just because you have a lot of money, are stronger than them, etc. No, you want people to respect you because it is mandatory when dealing with you. Confidence bring respect and when people respect you, then you work on the love part.

Love is nothing without respect. If someone loves you but has no respect for you then you will be very miserable and unhappy with that love. It wouldn't be true love, but love just because that person has some type of association to you. For example, friends, family, significant other, etc. You want people to respect you first, like the important person you are, and then let the love come after. How can this be done? This is done by raising your standards of what you will accept and what you will not accept. When you raise your standards there are gonna people who will love you and there will be people who hate you. Is this your problem? As long as, while you are raising your standards you are not bringing others down to build yourself up, then you shouldn't worry about haters. Haters are the most miserable people because they hate for no reason sometimes. Anyway, when you raise your standards you will want people to address you in a certain way. This doesn't mean them calling you “sir” or “madam”, but they can't talk to you like you are beneath them. You will tell, with your actions, that you are on their level or have an edge over them. You never want to put anyone on a pedestal, but if someone needs your help you want to give them a boost. This means that you will want to help others raise their standards but you will not treat others like you are not worthy.

When you lose you identity, you are not losing who you are, you are unveiling the person that you want to be. If someone is has a reputation for being nice then that person may take being nice as who they are. It will become their identity. Now let's say that someone

angers them, and they decide that it is hard for them to be nice. How do you think this person will feel. That's right, like they would lose their identity if the weren't nice in this situation. The thing is we are all humans with different emotions and anger happens to be an emotion that we have. Now does this mean you walk around angry all the time? No. Does it mean that you walk around with a smile all the time? No. It means that we will have days that we are not smiling and we will have days that it will be hard for us not to smile. Don't let people tell you what your identity is. Find your own identity. Make sure it is something that you will be happy with. Be like the wind. You will have your cool breezes and you will have your storms. People think that if they are not one way all the time that they are losing their identity. That is why you have people who are always serious and try not to let others see them smile. Or it could go the other way. You have people that are always happy and try not to let others see them angry. Balance is something that we need to have in our lives. Balance keeps us sane. Imagine if someone died that you cared about and you were telling yourself to be happy in a time like this. This was an extreme example but my point was that you are not gonna be one way all the time.

With all I have said you will need to keep others opinions of you as feedback. You don't want to feel down on yourself if someone calls you weak. You ask yourself, “how am I giving off a weak vibe?” Because guess what? When you give off a weak vibe people will not respect you like if you were to give off a strong vibe. Respect has to have a slight element of fear in it for it to be effective. This doesn't mean bodily harm or danger fear, but fear could be something as simple as not wanting to disappoint a good person. It's funny how if someone you truly care about were to tell you that you disappoint them could hurt more than someone punching you in the face. The pain of being punched in the face will go away after a while but disappointment could linger for years. So I'm not saying use fear tactics but just be aware how others perceive you. If it will compromise the respect they show then you need to check something about you

that is weak or not getting you the respect you want.

Your new identity will give you

Confidence For No Reason

Like I said in an earlier chapter being rich and poor is a state of mind. You are going to want to have the mindset of a rich person to become rich and you are going to avoid poor person's thoughts and actions on money. The same thing for confidence. Confidence is a state of mind because it is a trust and love you have for yourself. You will want to avoid thoughts of distrust and self-hatred to be a confident person. That brings me to the title Confidence For No Reason. How can you be confident for no reason you may ask? Well, it comes from building your self-esteem like a skyscraper like we've mentioned and have the foundation and support that you will succeed because your mind is right and you will walk the path of the confident people. Confident people have their days when they doubt themselves but this doubt is very short term. It is a doubt that a person has when they have never done something. They will still have the confidence that they will learn it once they are taught, but they will doubt themselves because they don't know anything yet. When you have confidence for no reason you will see how others treat you. They will treat you like you are more valuable than you really think you are. Will they be disappointed if you are not successful in what you set out to do? Not really because they know that you are not confident because of what you do, but you are confident because it is who you are.

Think of my point like this. We have all been to the doctor and we know that doctors don't know everything but we still give them the benefit of the doubt because they are doctors. It is what they do. If you are a confident person, you don't have to be successful at everything, you just have to know that you are valuable and a person that deserves respect. This is not the same as having an entitlement mentality. You aren't telling people to give you respect without you giving it back. You want to aim for mutual respect. You respect others and they respect you. If they don't then you let them know that, with you, respect is a privilege and it can be taken away just like any


This is the way you start having confidence for no reason. Adopt the mindset that you are valuable. Everyday learn something new. This isn't to brag or show off but to add value to yourself. Who is more valuable in a company, a person that knows one language or more than one? That is what you are going to do. You are going to learn as much as possible so as you get older you will be more confident than you are now. You also have to have the mindset that you are an important person who deserves love and respect. Remember that respect must be established first. If you want to have love then respect has to be there. Without it you don't have true love, but love by association. I mentioned that success doesn't always bring confidence and happiness. If you are confident already then when you are successful it will add to your confidence which will bring you more success. It will be an upward spiral and this upward spiral can bring happiness.

To be good at something or have mastery in something it does take time. You are not going to know every word in the dictionary but you can learn thousands of words throughout the years. You are not going to have super confidence the first time you do this but each year you will have more confidence than the previous year. If you were to take a dilemma that you are having and work on it for a year you will get to master your emotions and possibly be able to solve a big chunk of that dilemma. If you are poor now and you wanted to become rich, the first thing you would do is learn what you need to do to make extra money. You could put up a website for profit, have a little table, booth or store where you sell stuff, invest, etc. This is when you have to learn what it is you are doing. You are going from employee to business person/investor. In a year you could learn a lot but have no money to show for it. The next year, you could make a small profit, the year after you could make more than you made the previous year until one day you are richer than anyone you know. It's called stacking. When you stack ideas that work and put them to use then

you will get good results. If someone is shy then the first thing they have to do is start doing simple things like saying hello or having a few seconds or minutes of small talk. As the years go by you may be able to give a speech in a stadium full of people.

You'll be surprised what you can accomplish in 30 days. Let's say for example you are shy and you want to have beautiful women asking YOU out on dates. What is the first thing you learn? Pick up lines? No. Tricks and strategies? No. You first learn your strengths and weaknesses. The more you know what to work on and what you can use to your advantage, the more success you will have. Then you start off just saying a simple “hi” to the chicks that make you feel shy and nervous around. If you do this and get comfortable with it you can start asking their name, having a few seconds of small talk on something that they are reading, doing, eating/drinking, etc. After you feel comfort in that then you start getting into longer conversations and getting a little personal. Then you can start asking for phone numbers, email addresses, social network, etc. Then after you are comfortable with this then you can start hanging out. Then start getting physical with each other. Pretty soon you will be able to have chicks asking you out and wanting to get with you because you are always in the company or talking to attractive women. All of this because of a simple hello.

Now how long will this take? Could take days, months or even years but the thing is it will happen if you work at it. That is the reason why you should have confidence for no reason because you will start to have the attitude that when you set out to do something, success is inevitable.

Conclusion—Visit My Other Works

I hope you've enjoyed this eBook and I hope that it brings you tons of

success in your life. Confidence is something that can be attained once you adopt a few principles and work on yourself in the process. It's not always about gaining but sometimes it's about losing—losing the bullshit that's holding you back. Let me share a few links with you so you can continue moving in the right direction:

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I plan on giving you nothing but the best on a consistent basis so you'll increase your confidence just a little on a daily basis.

Thanks For Reading And Take Care, My Friend!