Time as a Measure of Commitment

I recently read an article which claimed that the average for a relationship breakdown was 2years and 9 months. This rather pulled me up to a stop mainly because it seemed so out of proportion to any reality that I was accustomed to. When I thought about it a little maybe it isnt so out of whack. If the statement is about the failure of relationship to mature then, there are a multiplicity of factors that can create an environment that becomes toxic within that perio d We all marvel at the couples who stay together for a lifetime, the 80 year old husbands and wife who have been married for 60 years. And they are standing out like a couple of reeds swaying together against all the pressures of life. While the media tend to trivialize this achievement by asking what their secret to a long marriage is there is always more than the glib answer. Time as a measure of a successful marriage is only one measure, possibly the most important but still it is only one measure. Into that relationship goes history, investment, and any number of reasons that two people choose to stay together against the buffeting of every destructive force that they may encounter. When two people chose to become married they need to have more than just love to see them over the travail of a new commitment. For there never was a Perfect Match yours may be the closest thing to it but if truth is told perfect matches are usually used to strike up a fire. We rub up against each other and even with the best of intentions, inevitably, there is that moment in which hurt is experienced from our partner. This is a moment when we must decide how we are going to deal with it and having done so go on with our lives together. The long term relationships will usually have built into them a forgiveness factor built into their everyday relating, often without realizing it, and it is not an indication of marital health if the one partner is always forgiving while the other partner is always apologizing. There is a mutuality in the relationship that acknowledges that each partner has their fair share of meeting their partners failings. There is another factor that is needed for a successful marriage which is there is a mutual investment in the relationship. Without this there is no development of the us part of the couple, and inevitably, one or the other will lose the desire to be a part of this couple. This is really only my musing on the subject. However it seemed to be important enough to get me out of bed to type it.