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VOLUME THREE

02 .2 0 .14

I SSU E 8

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2 2

Confuse, Bill, Repeat

again this week, which of course means we need to review our description of what a lawyers job is (I mean, after

Were going to talk lawyerin

1 WORD
ST
MIKE the right to sue, and move on REYNOLDS with the proceedings. Either
may decide that the plaintiff has complainants right to bring it. The outfitters who brought the beer bong and Jell-O shot issues to court were found to be without standing on those issues, (because none of them sold or rented beer bongs or tiny little plastic cups), and the case was thrown out of court before it could be heard on its merit. The outfitters appealed that ruling to the Third District, and were found without standing again. The beer bong and Jell-O shot cases have still not been heard, and most likely never will be, unless funnel, rubber hose, and tiny little cup manufacturers file suit. Anyway, all heck broke out at City Hall when last weeks issue hit, and William M Mick McKamie was called into action, billing by the hour to either clarify or confuse. Read the email exchange that follows, and then decide for yourself what his goal was.

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way, at that point, the case

has not been argued, only the

running up bills). A lawyers job is to either clarify or confuse. The longer an attorneys answer to a question, the more apt he or she is to be attempting to muddy the waters. Without question, the lawyer on the losing end of a situation will be more inclined to attempt to baffle their audience. Today you get to decide if the Citys hired-gun on the Disposable Container Ban case, attorney William M Mick McKamie, is trying to clarify something, or throwing a monkey-wrench into the discussion in hopes of confounding the Mayors critics. BACKSTORY: Last week, we ran a piece on certain, uh, less than truthful claims that were made to justify the Can-Ban to begin with, and a whopper thats being thrown out there to warrant an appeal to the ruling that declared the ban unconstitutional. Here is the aforementioned whopper, from Mayor Gale Pospisils interview with the Houston-owned Herald-Zeitung, as we ran it in our previous issue:

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Now this one this ones really good. Also from an HZ interview, and intended to bolster the case for appeal: Another strong reason to appeal, the mayor said, is because the city has already won on appeal lawsuits challenging its river ordinances regulating Jell-O shots and beer bongs. FALSE. OH SO VERY FALSE. EMBARRASSINGLY SO. WE ARE MORTIFIED. The beer bong and Jell-o shot ordinances never went to trial. As such, they have never been appealed. AS SUCH, the City has never won an appeal on those cases. The HZ did not correct her.
You see, in order to sue somebody, one needs to have standing. That is, the defense may pre-empt the trial by saying Wait a minute. That guy doesnt have the right to sue me. Hes not a customer/victim/etc. The court might dismiss the case, not because the defendant is correct, but because the wrong TXCITIZEN.COM

Feb 14 Email Correspondence Between Uber-Lawyer William M Mick McKamie and Professional Skeptic Mike Reynolds
Subject: Correction -- 4 river ordinances challenged in current lawsuit in 2007, one added in 2012 From: Mick McKamie To: news@txcitizen The 2007 lawsuit (still the current case) had challenges to the Ordinances that prohibited Volume Drinking Devices (Beer Bong), Containers of 5 ounces or less (Jello-shot), Cooler size and other restrictions (Cooler), and banned open containers of alcohol in city parks (Parks).

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The Trial Court granted the Citys Plea to the Jurisdiction on all four ordinances as to all the Plaintiffs, and they appealed. The Austin Court of Appeals upheld the dismissal on the Beer Bong, Jello Shot, Parks Ordinance, and all provisions in the Cooler Ordinance except size limitation. The Court also dismissed all claims by all Plaintiffs in the case EXCEPT three outfitters. Therefore, all those ordinances were challenged, and the challenges were dismissed, other than cooler size. Sent with impunity from Mikes My point exactly. After the ruling, the case was sent iPhone. back to district court, where nothing Sent with impunity from Mikes whatsoever happened from February iPhone. 2010 to the time of intervention by Tourist *LEGALESE: Plaintiff in the appeals Associated Businesses and others in context refers to the appellant or plaintiff From: Mick McKamie June 2012. At that time, the disposable in error that is, the party that lost and then To: news@txcitizen container challenge was added. From: news@txcitizen.com To: Mick McKamie Correction: The case was never heard on its merits, because the outfitters were
demanded a higher courts opinion. Should the

found to be without standing. Nice try, We can play that game all day long, and though. #getupearlier while watching your verbal gymnastics is entertaining as Hell, I suggest we try a Sent with impunity from Mikes different one. iPhone. How about this? The Mayor used the appeal to that standing issue as an example of a plaintiff* winning one, From: Mick McKamie for the sole purpose of justifying the To: news@txcitizen (likely) impending appeal of the current They were challenged, thats what it judgement. But the plaintiff (in the previsous case) lost that appeal, so its means. Wrong word. really an example of, well, a plaintiff losing an appeal. Ouch. From: news@txcitizen.com My turn is up. Now you go. To: Mick McKamie

Jurisdiction is the merits. Is they? Is them the merits? Am that gator stew? #grammarboy

So what do you think? Was I right aboutw

the case being dismissed due to standing,a

or was William M Mick McKamie right toa

correct me on that? Well, Im right. HowC

do I know? First of all, I remember the case.a

Second, William M Mick McKamie wasm

reckless enough to send me a copy of thel

actual order as handed down from Justicep

Bob Pemberton of the Third District Court ofc

Appeals, the first paragraph of which reads: t

Appellants Stop The Ordinances Pleases River Rides; Texas Tubes; Corner Tubes;

(STOP); WWGAF, Inc., d/b/a Rockin Ri

Gruene Home Run Batting Cages & Tubing;n

and Stone Randall Williams appeal a districtH

court judgment dismissing, for lack of standing,C

declaratory and injunctive relief claims theyt (the City) challenging certain

asserted against the City of New BraunfelsC

municipalS

Jurisdiction is the merits. And the defendant in the original case make the appeal, properly dismissed some of appellants claims they, in essence, take on the role of plaintiff. ordinances were challenged. but erred in dismissing others, we will affirmt From: news@txcitizen.com To: Mick McKamie

ordinances. Concluding that the district courto

He didnt respond. Maybe because I the judgment in part and reverse and remanda misspelled judgment and previous, but in part. (Emphasis ours. Enjoy the entirem more likely because I was about to bust him on document at tinyurl.com/beerjello)

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Hey. You know which part about that is just plain awful. Make the best argument you is super cool? The part where the outfitters can and leave it at that, because presenting won a reversal on the cooler-size ordinance a false reality insults everyone youre talking and the all-important navigable waterway to, especially the judge. NEWSFLASH: Judges argument, the latter upon which the outfitters know when youre trying to fool them. I dont Can-Ban case depended. Both the Mayor and William M Mick McKamie failed to mention that they were beaten at the appeals level on what became the most important case. Thats highly relevant information that the public should have before signing on to support an appeal. Which is why City Hall isnt bringing it up. Yes, our local rivers are indeed think they like it. I know I dont. UPSHOT: The Mayor got busted for, once again, playing loose with the facts to get her way, and William M Mick McKamie everybody into thinking she was right. William M Mick McKamie failed, which is no surprise given his record on the Disposable Container Ban, and even handed us the document that proved our point. To be fair, his job isnt to bill the City for as much as he possibly can, another very profitable year or two or three.

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point of the entire Disposable Container Ban brought out his reality-distortion ray to confuse

navigable, and that means plenty to the State. be right its to clarify or confuse, and then How William M Mick McKamie convinced that the navigability of the Guadalupe and City Council that they could win an argument for as long as he can. An appeal could run Comal is irrelevant to the case, when the Our little exchange up there probably cost the States law is clear on the matter, is beyond NB taxpayer $300. our understanding. Worse yet, taxpayers write the checks for these guys to make their brain-damage-inspired arguments on behalf of the City. My gods, man, have some dignity. Two plus two equals four. To claim otherwise because its your job Mike Reynolds Publisher/Editor-in-Chief \m/ Cha-ching, as they say.

830.542.9134

kayla@txcitizen.com

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Patrol Trooper and New Braunfels native right after a tragic loss like that. The Club will Randy Vetter stopped 72-year-old Melvin provide $10,000 within 24 hours. Hale for not wearing a seatbelt. Irrationally believing his Constitutional rights were being semi-automatic rifle, striking the 28-year-old Trooper in the head. his wife and 8-month-old son. Because the trooper was shot in Hays came to the aid of Vetters family. This incident concerned several citizens of Comal County because they realized that had Vetter been shot in Comal, his family wouldnt Club board member and chaplain Rich Carse. organization, the funds from which are to provide immediate assistance to the families of those slain in the line of duty. The 100 money goes directly to the stated goals. There

In order to spread the word, both the

City of New Braunfels and Comal County

violated by the stop, Hale opened fire with a will designate April 10 as 100 Club Day

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because it is the 100th day of the year. City Council is expected to pass the proclamation will do so on April 3.

Vetter died four days later, leaving behind on March 24, while County Commissioners

There are several ways to join the 100 groups Website at 100clubofcomalcouty.org, call 830-899-0100. Carse said that those who want to give citizen wishes to give, but doesnt have $100 have to pay in one lump sum. $100, that can be done, too. Several members

County near Kyle, the 100 Club of Austin Club, Carse said. Citizens can go to the

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they can visit the Clubs Facebook page, or

have had any help, said Comal County 100 can donate anyway they like. If a concerned

Individuals give $100 per year to the at hand, payments can be made. They dont

If someone wishes to donate more than

830.620.9091 www.scoresnb.com 223 W San Antonio St, Downtown New Braunfels

Club is entirely a voluntary effort and all the do, Carse noted. is neither paid staff nor administrative costs. in law We enforcement, give $10,000 firefighting to the and family,

The 100 Club of Comal County has only

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had to use funds once since its inception, family of volunteer firefighter in the Spring Branch area who had a fatal car crash while responding to a call several years ago.

The funds are there to cover everyone according to Holder. They were for the emergency response. immediately, Carse said. However, he said want to get to the point where we can help with mortgages and education costs. Houston, has 33,000 members. Thus far, the 100 Club in Comal has raised $300,000 since its inception in 2001 and has more than 250 contributing members. have a lot more members.

at Oma Gruenes Secret Garten!

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Besides the 17 board members, led by

the Club realizes that this is not enough. We President Judd Earely, the Club also has on and emergency responders from throughout

its board of advisors several law enforcement

Carse points out, provides such services and the county. This group includes Sheriff Holder,

New Braunfels Police Chief Tom Wilbert and among others. The 100 Club had its beginnings in and killed, leaving behind a young, pregnant widow. Detroit businessman Bill Packer, then

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New Braunfels Fire Chief John Robinson,

Carse, a retired pastor, said they would like to Detroit. In 1952, a young officer was shot Comal Sheriff Bob Holder said he is a big

BENEFITTING

believer in the 100 Club. Im a life member, the largest Pontiac dealer in the nation, wrote to he said. The Sheriff also wants to see the Club 100 of his friends asking each to donate $100 grow, but is proud of the members dedication. Ours is small but, by golly, its a great thing to have in your community, he said. Such a tragic loss can be such a shock to the community and family, as you can provide some cash money so they dont have paying off the widows mortgage, setting up money into a checking account for the family. This organization spurred on other communities Clubs, patterned after the one in Detroit. AD SALES 830.358.2493

dollars for the family. All 100 came through,

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imagine, Holder said. The least we can do is throughout the nation to start their own 100

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AROUND&ABOUT

On Tuesday, January 11, Happy Tails Pet Ranch celebrated its fifth anniversary of washing, feeding, training, and boarding our local dog pals with a massive party and silent auction at the Phoenix Saloon. The New Braunfels Humane Society and New Braunfels Puppy Playland were the beneficiaries of the evening's festivities, splitting over $4,000 in donations!

10

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UNCLE ESEL
to start workshops on getting the private tubers and hence mostly locals to pay taxes to use the river. Higher rivers costs created by our City and lower collections must be hurting! Now the locals must pay as the City is no longer making good on Uncle Esel, the business of tourism. What are your thoughts on the river Paul G. access fee that our Mayor seems to be targeting for next year? Are we all going Dear Paul, to pay for the Citys mistakes or am I Well, youre kind of right about customers looking too deeply into this? After all, going out of town, but its not the tubing the City has never charged for this for companies taking them. After the ban, many many years and now the container ban people showed up like they had for many has reduced the river problems and the years and found out that it was a huge hassle higher costs. This can be seen in the lower to bring their business here. Many of them number of arrests and citations, removal actually said that the experience was not of the crowds, no longer the need to worth it and they would go elsewhere and this close streets around the Schlitterbahn, reduced overtime requirements of the year many of them are. San Marcos is booming with new Police Department etc. business that we sent them and no that Should local residents be paying generation baseball player (he looks like the to use the river? That is what the fee is for according to the Major during her old produce guy at HEB) is going to influence Monday with the Mayor on KGNB. (Why them. Meanwhile the city keeps spending I listen to that, I really dont know!) and spending even though the mayor said However they are saying that they are two years ago that a bold decision would charging to have access to the river finally fix many problems. Now ask her to through the parks. Is this to protect show you the budget. local river property owners from paying Now, no offence, but yours was a long to use the river? So is charging for use query so Ill skip to the meat of it. The idea that of the parks but using this money to the city wants to tax me to get in a river from offset river related costs legal? Hell my a public place is just commie talk. This actually property value just jumped 6% this year would be a walking tax as in a tax for the so the city can collect more taxes. It feels honor of walking across a public park. Look, like the suggested prostitution that I city people, last time we checked its public never personally witnessed has left the land and a navigable river and there is no river and now the local residents are authority to tax that. Losing is stupid, but losing getting raped! twice is just brain-dead, awe-inspiring stupid. I spend a lot of time on the Comal So to be straight, you think the mayor river over weekends with a Kayak and wants to tax a long time New Braunfels noticed that there are very few tourists industry that is a part of our life and heritage on the river using tubing companies. going back generations because it results in You can always see the locals as by the trash in the river, drunken behavior, urine in type of tubes they use. Clearly more than 60% is by regular visitors who have the river and on the banks, traffic congestion, invested in their own personal tubes. I parking problems, law enforcement have also noticed over the past two years issues, loud music, an occasional indecent that the Rockin R exit is empty with very exposure, medical calls, crowds, and more? few tubers from Rockin R on the river. Well, Im up for that discussion, so when is I see many Texas Tubes and some from the next Wurstfest Association meeting? See Landa Falls. This is the opposite from what I did there? Love, K 2009, 2010 & 2011. So my belief is that local tubing companies are, where possible, taking Uncle K. Esel is a lifetime resident of our fair city, and is the tubers outside of town where there is well known for his sage advice on a wide range of topics. no container ban. So now the city is not If you find yourself perplexed with no one to turn to, send collecting as much as they should on the your question to Uncle Esel at: askesel@txcitizen.com. $1.50 taxes from every tuber using the Be sure to write Question for Uncle Esel in the subject tubing companies. No wonder the City line of your email. Council is already jumping up and down
This column first appeared in June of 2013. Were reprinting it now given the current controversy over park (river) access fees, and the fact that the Mayor had planned for this many, many months ago. TXCITIZEN.COM

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Dear Mexican: Do you agree with gente that think you cant be vegetarian if youre Mexican cause meat is an essential part of our diet? Ive heard this argument three times within the last 24 hours from two blogs and The Today Show this morning. I think its babosadas. Like, my parents growing up in Zacatecas only had meat on Friday when the pollero came knockin , or other rare occurrences. Cuaresma Chica
Dear Lenten Girl: Of course its

babosadas. A Mexican can eat a perfectly fine vegan dietnopales, tortillas, and all the wonderful vegetables of Mexico, from chayotes to huauzontle to beans, chiles and moreand still be as raza as Cuauhtmoc. See, the traditional indigenous diet didnt include too much meat, and definitely not any beef, pork, goat, lamb or chicken, as those animals werent native to the New World (yes, this sentence contained a triple-negative, shepherds of Shakespeare. Vyanse a la chingada). Yet those are the very meats those anti-vegetarian braggarts cite, in the form of carne asada, chorizo, birria, barbacoa, or pollos rostizado when they claim Mexicans cant live on a carne-free diet. These are the same pendejos who say theyre puro mexicano while downing a Bohemia (named after the Czech immigrants who revolutionized Mexicos beer industry alongside the Germans), eating their bolillos (introduced by the French) and tacos al pastor (brought in by Lebanese immigrants), and washing it all with a Mexican Coke (done by gabachos). And those idiots must also love the most recent issue of TIME with Mexican President Enrique Pea Nieto being hailed as Mexicos savior, as laughable a premise as a Mexican showing up to a party on time.

JURADO, ROBERTO
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UGALDE, MELISSA ANN

Female 503 180 lbs DOB: 01/12/1972 CHARGE: Motion to adjudicate for credit card or debit card abuse

MEJIA, MARCO FABIAN

Male 506 210 lbs DOB: 03/07/1984 CHARGE: Forgery Government/ National Government Inst/ money/ security

Male 510 162 lbs DOB: 07/15/1953 CHARGE: Failure to appear motion to revoke probation for driving while intoxicated

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830.620.3400 - 24-Hour 830.620.3411 - Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm

The names listed have been released in accordance with the Texas Public Information Act. This is a true and accurate account as of Friday, February 14, 2014 at 1:00 pm and may not be current by the time it is read. Do not try to apprehend anyone. These are listings of criminal warrants with the Comal County Sheriffs Office and are not indicative of guilt or innocence. Officers are to verify the status of each warrant prior to making an arrest. Any person is innocent of wrongdoing unless proven guilty in a court of law.

Dear Mexican: Why are so many young Mexicans in gangs? And why do they love to graffiti everything, even their own ghetto apartment building? I see too damn much of this in the Los Angeles area. Qu pasa? El Virgin de 50 Anos

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Dear Virgin of 50 Anuses: Lets not

pussyfoot around the issue: The National Gang Centers 2011 National Youth Gang Survey found that 46.2 of all gang members in the United States were Latinos, by far the largest percentage among ethnic groups in this country. But if you take the 367,000-plus documented gang members in los Estados Unidos and put that over the 34 million people of Mexican descent in the United States, that only amounts to barely one percent of all Mexicans in this countryone percent too many, but hardly the epidemic Know Nothings make out the gang problem to be among Mexican-Americans (and keep in mind that the Latino-gangs figure doesnt differentiate by national origin, meaning the cholo figure in our equation is artificially inflated thanks to Dominica, Puerto Rican, and Salvadoran gangs). Then take into mind that gangs have existed among young immigrant men especially in urban areassince the founding of the Republic, and the question becomes why isnt there more young Mexican chicos in gangs. But you asked why do they join, so rent Gangs of New York, Angels with Dirty Faces, The Godfather, The Hangover and all that desmadre for the answer. BUY LOWRITING!: Gentle cabrones: Im thrilled to announce the release of Lowriting: Shots, Rides and Stories from the Chicano Soul, an anthology of essays, poems, and stories about lowriders by authors famous (Luis J. Rodrguez, Luis Alberto Urrea) and not (yours truly wrote about my 1974 Cadillac Eldorado convertible called El Caballo Blanco after the Jos Alfredo Jimnez standard) combined with the amazing photography of Los Angeles photographer Art Meza, perhaps the coolest librarian youll ever meet not affiliated with the Fullerton Public Library. A fine collection for anyone interested in great prose, great photography, or the current state of the Chicano soul. Order your copy through www.brokenswordpublications.com and BUY BUY BUY!

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! Hot in the Kitchen with Sherri Gallagher

When I first started preparing a true Bolognese sauce, I was immediately drawn to three ingredients; meat, milk, and wine. How can that not be delicious? This granddaddy of all meat sauces originated in Bologna, Italy. We all know from childhood school lunches what the town of Bologna gave us. Well, they also gave us Ragu alla Bolognese. Families in Italy have their own version of Bolognese just like our grandmothers here have their own recipes for chicken & dumplings. Everyones is the best. Here is my recipe:

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2 tbls olive oil 1 tbls butter 2 large onions, finely chopped 1 head of a garlic clove, peeled and finely chopped 2 stalks of celery, finely chopped 2 large carrots, peeled and finely chopped 4 oz of pancetta (Italian bacon takes 2 months to make so it is expensive; you can substitute regular uncooked bacon if necessary), raw and diced 1 lb ground beef 1 lb ground pork sausage Salt to taste (about tsp since the meat used is already salty) Ground black pepper tsp ground nutmeg 1 cup whole milk 2 cups red wine 3 cups chicken stock 28 oz can crushed tomatoes 6 oz tomato paste 1 small bunch of fresh thyme, tied with butcher twine 1 bay leaf A Bolognese is made in layers. First, over medium high heat in a stock pot with a thick bottom, heat olive oil and butter until melted and foamy. Next, reduce heat to medium and add onions, garlic, celery, and carrots. Saut until onions are pale gold in color. Add the pancetta (bacon) and allow to brown. Add beef and pork stirring while breaking up the meat and allowing it to brown. Add salt if needed, pepper and nutmeg, and allow blending and giving off its flavors to the meat and veggies. Then, slowly add milk and blend so it does not scorch. Add red wine and cook some more, allowing everything to meld into a sauce. Add chicken stock, crushed tomatoes, and paste. Toss in the thyme bundle and bay leaf and reduce heat to low. Allow sauce to break down and thicken. Add water or more chicken stock if it looks like sauce is getting dry. Meanwhile, add 2 cups whole milk ricotta cheese to a mixing bowl. Add 1 egg, tsp nutmeg, 1 tsp salt, tsp black pepper, 1 cup grated parmesan cheese, and 1 tsp of dry parsley. Blend into a ravioli cheese filling. You can purchase pre-made pasta sheets but making your own is very easy if you have a standing mixer. Just add 3 cups of sifted flour to mixing bowl. Add 4 large eggs, 4 tbls water, and tsp of salt and with the dough hook attached, mix at medium speed for about 2-3 min. Remove from bowl and kneed on a lightly floured surface until a ball forms. Cover and set aside or refrigerate until ready to use. When ready to make ravioli, take dough ball and cut into quarters. Use the pasta sheet attachment with your mixer or with a floured rolling pin, roll out a quarter into a thin pasta sheet. Use a single ravioli cutter or ravioli tray and place pasta sheet down, add a tablespoon of the cheese mixture, with water on your finger, run a bead over where the ravioli will seal shut, and cover with another pasta sheet. Press firmly down allowing all air to escape. Make your individual raviolo. Place in boiling water until they float and are soft. Serve with your Bolognese sauce, and enjoy! Until next time, Eat, Drink & Be Sherri!

Cheese Ravioli With Bolognese Sauce

Sherri
Sherri Gallagher is a New Braunfels personal chef who grew up in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she began cooking at the age of 8. Her culinary virtuosity can be experienced at the Regal Ravioli food truck in Austin, (regalraviloi.com), and at various catering functions and local home dinner & cocktail parties. She can be contacted at eatdrinkandbesherri@gmail.com.
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Music
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TXCITIZEN.COM

Last Saturday night, the Royal Southern Brotherhood and special guest Van Wilks blew the roof off the historic Brauntex theater in downtown NB. The show was produced by the New Braunfels Blues Society as part of their annual scholarship drive to benefit local student musicians, and as of press time they were still counting the money. What's known for sure is that, once again, the annual NBBS show was a massive, loud, and bluesy success. For more information on the Society and their monthly jams, check out nbbluessociety.org.

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