FINAL PORTFOLIO

In Souads Words
By Souad Mohsen
English 236 12/16/2013

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Table of Contents
Reflections: ...................................................................................................................................... 2 Poem: ........................................................................................................................................... 2 Fiction story:................................................................................................................................ 4 Non Fiction:................................................................................................................................. 5 Final Reflection ............................................................................................................................... 6 The Final Play ................................................................................................................................. 7 Final Draft ................................................................................................................................... 7 Drafts of my play ........................................................................................................................... 18 Plot ............................................................................................................................................ 18 Draft 1........................................................................................................................................ 19 Extra Material: ............................................................................................................................... 25 Some Good pieces to look at: .................................................................................................... 25 Poem: free verse .................................................................................................................... 25 The Non-Fiction: ................................................................................................................... 27 Some could have done better pieces: ..................................................................................... 31 Poem: Sonnet ......................................................................................................................... 31 The fiction ............................................................................................................................. 32 Annotations about extra material: ........................................................................................ 40 Poem: Free verse ....................................................................................................................... 40 Sonnet and Fiction:.................................................................................................................... 41

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Reflections:
Poem:
Writing poetry may not be a new thing to me, as I began doing this kind of writing two years ago with my native language (Arabic). As I progressed in doing those three poems I realized that working on English poetry differs from the Arabic one by too many things. First, the rules dont apply on both. Second, the use of words is not exactly the same and finally the style. In both ways I see that in poetry, language is not the tool of writing, it is the purpose. What I mean by this sentence is that what makes from a poem a piece of art is the density in the language and not the subject itself. Choosing the subjects in the three poems was hard, so I started to write feelings and thoughts before proceeding to the first draft. The first poem I wrote was the prose son of human. I got inspired by the real life situation that we are seeing these days with the homeless men dying in the streets, frequently in the winter. I described in my poem the homeless man before death. I associated his sorrow with imagery of anger and nature in February. My second poem was the canvas, as a lover of all kinds of art I am describing how I am painting a canvas passionately with different colors from my palate. And the third poem talks about the necessity of revolution in this unfair country, as I explain my anger towards taxes and robbery. This writing task is different than others because it expands our horizons in expressing our emotions and feelings in a new way. As for me, it helped me improve my style in writing which was vague and mysterious to more obvious and clear one. For example,

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when I read my prose poem in class, one of the negative comments was the ambiguity of the subject which pushed many of my colleagues to misunderstand the poem. Talking about the positive points, I think that what differs a poet from any other one is his ability to reflect his identity and style in his writings. And this is what I worked on for the 3 poems.

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Fiction story:
Writing the story was easier for me than writing a poem, because expressing actions is much simple than expressing feelings. I was inspired by a story that happened last summer. It was one of the most memorable stories I could tell, because it still haunts me and make me realize of how mature I became in just one year. Plan X is mostly a real story, with of course modifications in the personalities and some significant details to make the story look more interesting and dramatic. The steps I followed for writing it were simple: I fixed in my mind the characters and the events. Then I gave space for describing every character, the place and the time. The dialogues were not planned, I wrote them as I was proceeding in the actions and the scenes. I wanted to expose two opposite characters: Amira who is a nave girl ,she follows the footstep of her colleagues, although she is older than them, because she finds them cool. This personality presents many members of the society, especially college students who tend to forget how to protect their innocence from others wildness. She is a developing personality as she evolves in the story from someone nave to more conscious and stronger person. Sandra, the narrator, is a character who is flat and nonchalant, inside of her she is feeling guilty but she is convincing herself that it was Amiras fault who ate something that smelled inedible. Finally I can say that writing my own story helped me seeing it in other perspectives, such as getting deep in the reactions of the characters and analyzing each one with adding a touch of my own imagination.

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Non Fiction:
Writing a Non-Fiction piece was the most challenging for me comparing to Fiction and poetry. I didnt know what to write about since I think I dont have a quite interesting personal experience I wanted to share, as I wanted to stay away from writing a piece about Girls Drama that wont interest any reader. I stayed two days wondering what I should talk about. I started to scratch about three stories from three different persons who inspired me through my life: My grandmother, my friend and my mother. It was sort of testing my abilities to write about anyones life or an essai according to Bret Lott, and then change the piece I chose (My friends story) ,into an essay. This trial made me feel more confident about what is my next step, since I was lost at first .My draft 1, I admit, was the worst essay I have written from a while, it only consisted of two pages of scattered ideas. To expand it more, I had to put myself in my friends feet, keeping in mind her personality. Because I have known her for more than ten years I was well informed about the reason of every single action in her life, that made me feel doubtless about writing her story. The other reasons that made me chose her story over my mothers or grandmothers because it has been very common to have a Plastic surgery in our life, but we only see the change in a persons look and not in his personality. This encouraged me to show people how does it look like to change the figure you have lived in for 18 years. Finally, I would like to say that writing a fiction made me see the story from a different perspective. As I was writing I felt like I was analyzing every action and every emotion indirectly. I felt like I was in the operation doing the surgery.

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Final Reflection
Taking this course was a decision made by myself, as it wasnt a requirement from the university, rather an elective by choice. As a Geology student, I wanted a creative course that will make me feel away a bit from all my scientific courses. I chose this course because I didnt want to be evaluated on what I write about others like in history or philosophy. I wanted a class where I am able to express my own ideas without referring to any theoretical base. The concept of this course is exciting, at the same time it is stressful because it will help you navigate in the sea of your own thoughts, yet it is done in a short period of time. Was it enough for me? Of course not! I needed at least another semester to improve my writing and my way of thinking. But this course was a fair start for me, first it made me see my weakness and strength points and it introduced me to numerous types of writing. The most important thing is that I found my own style through writing the several pieces and having done the sketch book exercises. Being introduced to four types of writing was very efficient for me, as I mentioned before in one of my reflections that I already write Arabic poetry, it wasnt something very new to me. Writing a play and a non-fiction were two things I did for the first time in my academic life. I have never imagined writing a play, because it wasnt really something I would be interested in. But doing it taught me that I have to do some small researches before writing any type of drama or fiction. For instance, seeing that my characters are prisoner, I had to do some small research to get information about the small details like if it is allowed to smoke in prison cells, to the biggest detail that is the personality of women in prison. I watched many videos on YouTube to take an idea, and then I read some articles about exaggerated cases of robbery, murder and other crimes to attribute my characters some interesting personalities. I found now that this procedure should have been done for my fiction piece to make it stronger, as I classified it between my could have done better pieces. Second, I found my strength and weakness points through this course by practicing the different types of writing. I found out that I always have the same problem which is knowing the ideas without having the proper words and sometimes the language to express it. What helped this problem is being assessed by my peers in class. They gave me many remarks and advices about it. Finally, I can say that this portfolio is a compilation of my works from the greatest to the worst. It shows my improvements as well as my identity as a writer. This portfolio illustrates the effort I have done to extract the best of me from creative writing to regular work.

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The Final Play

Final Draft
The background is made of jail bars and superposed jail beds, two on each side. In the middle of the stage there is a table with four chairs (that are made of cheap wooden material, scratched, written all over them and very unappealing). On the right theres a wall with a small window that looks up to the next prison cell, and on the left, there are bars and the cells door. The three characters (Samantha, Jane and Pam) are playing cards on the table. Samantha and Jane are, as well, smoking, Pam is eating some nuts. Jane: Come on! I need a spade; Ive been losing this whole time Samantha: (Laughing): Id better give you this card you can expect anything from a baby kidnapper Pam: No one can beat me at this game! Annnnd another win! (With a smile) (The cells door opens, Linda comes in panicked and lost, she looks at the three women and sits in the corner) Pam: Looks like we have new company, Hello there!

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Linda: Hi Um, um Im Linda (Samantha, Jane and Pam stop playing cards; they look at Linda all together) Jane: Come sit, this is gona be your chair. I get the hugest; as you see my mom fed me lots of corn dog and fried chicken before I got here. Those are Linda and Pam weve been sharing this cell for about two years. Pam: I am not really sure but I have seen you somewhere! Jane: (Picks up a newspaper from her bed and points to the audience) Here she is, right on the front page! Samantha: (Reads in a high voice) Dr.James grunt, the mayor of Clark City was found shot in his Downtown apartment .According to the CCTV recording, a stripper called L.Mendell pulled three shots on Dr.Grunt, the investigation is still in process while Miss Mendell is kept in Clarke City jail. Thats crazy how did that happen? I bet your story is way more interesting than Cocopops.

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Linda: Whos Cocopops? Pam: (She stands in the middle of the stage; a spot of light is on her) I met Kenny about a year ago, and we started living together which of course pissed off my religious parents. They stopped talking to me for a while, then, they stopped making any contact with me. Well! Mennonites like to shun Naughty people like me. Anyway, Kenny and I were desperate for money so I started my job as the neighbors nanny. I changed diapers, and I can tell you it was gross! I did tea parties with Sarah and her dolls; I cooked four times a day. I prepared healthy meals on school days, but henry! No... No! No! No! He didnt like that at all. (Pam looks at Linda, and pretends talking to Henry while gesturing with her hands, the spot of light is now on Linda and Pam) Henry come eat your oat meal bowl! The bus is coming in ten minutes What? No you cant have sugar cereal they are bad to your teeth and Mommy hates them. Again? You hid a Cocopops box in the drawer, well fine you can have half oat half Coco but quick before mom wakes up. Oh my god again! You have milk all over your cloth, let me change them Look at the window the bus is here! Its not funny Henry, stop laughing and go down to the bus .

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(Pam now looks at Jane, and pretends as if she was Sarah; the spot of light is now on Linda and Jane) Sarah we cant make a hundred cookie two hours before the bake sale! Hell No cookies dont grow on trees, you have to bake those for at least an hour. Well prepare instead fruit salad cups. Oh no one buys this healthy crap? Great then, well make Coco freaking pops Crackles (Pam now looks at the audience and continues talking) You see, I wasnt enjoying it at all but I had to do it for the money. On weekends Id go home and spend my time with Kenny. I returned earlier that year for Christmas holiday, and theres Kenny lying in my own bed with Maria Alessandro.

Linda: Did you do it? Did you kill them? Pam: Uh Uh! Days later the neighbors were out of town for a couple of days, I had to babysit the kids. I was in a tremendous depression; Id drink vodka while the kids were asleep, and have Xanax first thing in the morning. I was screaming as usual. (She gestures and raises her voice) Henry! You cant play in the front yard! Why? Because I said so. Henry, you cant wear your Spiderman costume to school Ha-ha very funny! You want to save kids from detention. Sarah! Let me dry your hair before

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you go out. Why am I not pretty like Maria your friends nanny? I will tell you why because I dont sleep around with some other girls guy, thats why. (Turns around the table and speaks with anger) I couldnt sleep that night! Their image in my bed was hunting me. Henry and Sarah couldnt neither sleep nor stop nagging about their stupid cereal. I was hopeless! I was tired! I said to them: You want Coco with milk in the middle of the night! Well okay you will have it. They fell asleep like little angels, (she pause a second and looks at the audience and continues with a naive sound) in the hospital with a tommy full of Xanax coco bowl! Jane: (Giggles) And every time she tells this story it gets funnier! Linda: Well !Great things in life dont come easy; can I join you in this card game? Pam: Of course! but first we have to attribute you a nickname! Linda: Sure it must be better than Cocopops Jane: Maybe glossy? I mean look at your face your glossy makeup talks by itself

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Samantha: Lets start the game glossy (she winks at Linda and points at the cigarette box and asks) Cigarettes? Linda: I dont usually smoke that 80 cent type, but you know I have to deal with it while Im in jail Samantha: (Addressing to Linda) Listen little miss glossy stripper, all of us strived for the big pleasures and ended up here. So youd better enjoy playing cards with us and smoke cheap cigarettes. You know? Before I entered prison, I was married to three, Joe, MasterCard and Visa Card. (laughs) I used to shop every day for cloth, shoes and home accessories. I couldnt resist the smell of new things. Joe wasnt happy about that, he sent me to what he used to call compulsive shopper therapy. Well! (She takes a sip from her cigarette) they should have called it Non-sense Blah Blah Blah therapy. (Samantha stands up and talks to the audience, a spot of light is now focused on her) Hi my name is Samantha and I am a shopaholic! When I get upset I shop! When I am happy I shop! When I need to relax I shop! Shopping was everything to me.

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I saw in windows a world full of magic! Every single dress was like a giant piece of diamond screaming for me! Little I have known that I would end up with four with the same color! But that day I entered my apartment with too many bags in my hand! What should I say it was Black Friday! Sales were everywhere; I even fought with six women over this magnificent white Trench coat. Anyway, Joe was angry I didnt know he was fired from his job. He picked up my bags and threw them in my face! Days later he blocked the credit cards, the bank accounts and everything I can use to shop. I didnt know how to look at windows without buying stuff! Then my aunt Rose got sick and I am not the type of persons who take care of others, yet, life pushes you to do things, you hate, just to survive! So I thought about taking care of her for some money. (Sarcastically) And then this brilliant Idea came on my mind: Gaining power of attorney for her! You seeshe was dying soon, and buying something nice with her money wont harm anyone! I transferred thousands of dollars to my account once, twice and the third time! (She stops and screams) I was busted! Pam: If I hear this story again one more time, I will go insane Samantha: As if you werent !

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Jane: How many times did you hear Samanthas story? Pam: (Nagging) About a million and tens of them were when she was sleep walking! Perhaps we need to hear some new exciting stories! Linda: (The light is now on Linda, she stands up and starts talking) Here is mine! I was a normal school girl all my life. At the age of 16 I started fooling around with guys of my age, then I started mingling around which is fooling around but with money. (She turns to the audience) No I wasnt a prostitute! Just sort of escort if you want. I met then Kris who introduced me to poll dancing and stripping. I worked for his club in the past three years. I met big celebrities, who would have thought that I would arrive here. So that last day I was supposed to entertain this huge bachelor party in the biggest apartment tower down town. I ring the bell and here is Mr. The mayor or shall I Say Dr.Grunt opening the door and welcoming me. And you know what there wasnt a bachelor party just a scam from an old man to avoid slander. Ugly old man like to do that! I put on my coat and rushed through the door, he insisted on me but I just couldnt handle this ! Yes even a stripper hates lies! He pushed me into the floor, I only had one solution ! I fired two shots into his tiny perverted brain right in the middle.(she looks at Samantha an dpretends shes grunt, she talks to her severely with her two hands on samanthas neck) Every time its the stripper whos the victim ! But not that time Mr. Grunt!

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Pam: Being in jail for self-defense? Linda: I dont care, I would be happy to put my whole life in this prison to kill such people like him Samantha: That was tense ! Well get along girl, dont worry Linda: So what about you Jane? Jane: (The light now is on Jane, she talks with tears in her eyes) I worked in St. Martins hospital for many years. I was a nurse. It was my dream job, I helped people and doctors. I have seen birth and death in the same day. I worked hard; I got Nurse of the month for about a year. And then it was time for me to be the patient! No not the nurse but the Patient! I wasnt just sick, I was a cancer victim. But look at me now I survived! I lost my beautiful figure, my hair and my strength. It took everything from me! It even took my babies away! Look at me how can I be a complete woman without a uterus that can carry my babies?!

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(she stands up now and looks at the audience with enthusiasm) I stopped worrying; I thought that returning back to work was the only solution to forget. I returned to be stronger. And there I was helping people like old times. But that day, when I became the head nurse of the maternity section, was it! I came into Mrs. Smith room and transported her to the operations. There Natalia was born! She was sweet and innocent. I washed her, and looked at her face and said: you are going to break hearts like mommy did. I felt for a moment I was her mother, then for hours I couldnt leave her. I removed her from that bed like they removed my uterus, and I kept her safe in my house. She is my daughter now! You know she calls me mom (she smiles insanely). And now they took her back to Mrs. Smith! She even doesnt know whats her favorite color, her funniest cartoon, her hobbies Shes gone , and I am gone too Pam: (Raises her hand)This is my last card! I won! 5th victory to Miss Cocopops! Samantha: I am tired of you winning all the time! Lets play something else Linda: Well play cops and criminals! Jane: What is that sounds fun to me!

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Linda: I will teach you how to play it, but we need someone to play the cop Samantha: Not me! Pam: Uh.. uh not me either Jane: Of course not me

Linda: Me neither! Jane, Linda, Samantha and Linda: (the four speak all together ironically) Because being the criminal is the most fun part of the game!

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Drafts of my play
Plot
The play is set in a jail, there are four women. Every one of them has a problem that ended her up in this prison. The play is about how sometimes big pleasures can drive humans to the extremes, at the same time there are some small pleasures that can be enjoyed even in prison like playing cards and chatting with new comers. Each one of my characters has a monologue where she expresses her story with her own personality.

Characters:
Samantha, a robber, she is very manipulative and strong Pam, a young girl in her twenties who suffered from a depression and overdosed kids by mistake Jane, a mid-30s woman who stole a baby from hospital Linda, a stripper and a murderer, very spoilt and arrogant

Set:
Prison bars in the background with old prison furniture

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Draft 1
The background is made of jail bars, in the middle of the stage there is a table with four chairs (that are of cheap wooden material, scratched, written all over them and very unappealing). On the right background theres a wall with a small window that looks up to the next prison cell, and on the left, there are bars and the cells door. The three characters (Samantha, Jane and Pam) are playing cards on the table. Samantha is, as well, smoking; Jane and Pam are eating some nuts. Jane Come on! I need a spade; Ive been losing this whole time Samantha (laughing) Id better give you this card you can expect anything from a baby kidnapper (The cells door opens, Linda comes in panicked and lost, she looks at the three women and sits in the corner) Pam Looks like we have some new company, Hello there! Linda Hi Um, um Im Linda (Samantha, Jane and Pam stop playing cards, they look at Linda all together)
Comment [U3]: Put more actions to show how happy they are when playing cards in prison and to not rush with the play Comment [U2]: Theater format Comment [U1]: Change to theater format

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Samantha Come sit, this is gona be your chair. I get the hugest; as you see my mom fed me lots of corn dog and fried chicken before I got here. Those are Linda and Pam weve been sharing this cell for about two years. Pam (Starring at Linda from tip to toe) I found it! I am gona call you glossy. Glossy makeup nails and shoes. Gosh... what was your crime? Stealing Barbies closet? Linda I wasnt a crime! It was a murder! I fired three shots into his pathetic perverted brain. Jane (sarcastically) Whose lucky brain was that? Linda James Grunt Samantha (Picks up a newspaper from the back, and reads in a high voice) Dr.James grunt, the mayor of Clark City was found shot in his Downtown apartment
Comment [U5]: Too much rushing in the cations, slow down Comment [U4]: Too clich

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According to the CCTV recording, a stripper called L.Mendell pulled three shots on Dr.Grunt, the investigation is still in process while Miss Mendell is kept in Clarke City jail. Thats crazy how did that happen? I bet your story is way more interesting than CocoPops. Linda Whos CocoPop? Pam (She stands in the middle of the stage; a spot of light is on her) I met Kenny about a year ago, and we started living together which of course pissed off my religious parents. They stopped talking to me for while, then, they stopped making any contact with me.Well! Mennonites like to shun Naughty people like me. Anyway, Kenny and I were desperate for money so I started my job as the neighbours nanny. I changed diapers, and I can tell you it was gross! I did tea parties with Sarah and her dolls; I cooked four times a day. I prepared oat meal and raisins on school days, but henry ! No.. no no no he didnt like it at all. (Pam looks at Linda, and pretends talking to Henry while gesturing with her hands, the spot of light is now on Linda and Pam) Henry come eat your oat meal bowl! The bus is coming in ten minutes What? No you cant have sugar cereal they are bad to your teeth and Mommy has allergy to seeing them. Again? You hid a CocoPops box in the drawer, well fine you can have half oat half Coco but quick before mom wakes up. Oh my god again! You have milk all over your cloth, let

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me change them Look at the window the bus is here! Its not funny Henry, stop laughing and go down to the bus or I tell mommy you had sugar cereal. (Pam now looks at Jane, and pretends as if she was Sarah; the spot of light is now on Linda and Jane) Sarah we cant make a hundred cookie two hours before the bake sale! Hell No cookies dont grow on trees, you have to bake those for at least an hour. Well prepare instead fruit salad cups. Noway! You cant put Cocopops in fruit salad to make it taste better. Oh no one buys it? Great then, well make Coco freaking pops Crackles (Pam now looks at the audience and continues talking) You see, I wasnt enjoying it at all but I had to do it for the money. On weekends Id go back home and spend my time with Kenny. I returned earlier that year for Christmas holiday, and theres Kenny lying in my own bed with Maria Alessandro. Linda Did you do it? Did you kill them? Pam Uh Uh! Days later the neighbors were out of town for a couple of days, I had to babysit the kids. I was in a tremendous depression, Id drank vodka while the kids are asleep, and have Xanax first thing in the morning. As usual Henry! You cant play in the front yard! Why? Because I said so. Henry, you cant wear your Spiderman costume to school Ha-ha very funny! You want to save kids from
Comment [U6]: Too much of that ?

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detention. Well let me tell you if you dont go to your room and change your cloth I wont give you Cocopops for breakfast! Sarah! Let me dry your hair before you go out. Why am I not pretty like Maria your friends nanny? I will tell you why because I dont sleep around with some other girls guy, thats why. I couldnt sleep that night! Their image in my bed was hunting me. Henry and Sarah couldnt neither sleep nor stop nagging about eating their stupid cereal. I was hopeless and tired, I said to them: You want Coco with milk in the middle of the night! Well okay you will have it. They fell asleep like little angels! Well of course thanks to Xanax and coco bowl. And now you can imagine the rest! Jane (laughs) And this is why we call her Cocopops Linda Hey Samantha can you pass me those cigarettes, I dont usually smoke those 80 cent type, but you know I have to deal with it while Im in jail Samantha (addressing to Linda) Listen little miss glossy stripper, all of us strived for our big pleasures and ended up here. So youd better enjoy playing cards with us and smoke cheap cigarettes. Before I entered prison, I was married to three, Joe, MasterCard and Visa Card. (laughs)
Comment [U7]: Put more suspense or funnier ending to this monologue

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I used to shop every day for cloth, shoes and home accessories. I couldnt resist the smell of new cloth. Joe wasnt happy about that, he sent me to what he used to call compulsive shopper therapy, I can tell you they should have called it Non-sense Blah blah blah therapy. (Samantha stands up and talks to the audience) Hi my name is Samantha and I am a shopaholic, I dont know why I am here! I shop like normal people; I mean who doesnt like cloth? Yes sometimes I buy five pairs of black shoes, but who cares my husband has the money Um, what if he lost all of it? No he wont he has a good job
Comment [U8]: Start with something else it is a bit boring

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Extra Material:
Some Good pieces to look at:
Poem: free verse
The Canvas Pigments crushing on my Palette Telling the story of how they met. Brushstrokes dance on the canvas Drizzles of paint, splash On my skin and clothes So cold and fresh, as waves Wash the shore Van gogh whispers In my ear: dream of your paintings And paint your dreams The blank canvas becomes a scene Of illusions and tints Red, Rosewood orgasmic sin. Red, like a lipstick blotch stained on a neck. Blue, aquamarine Siamese eyes of yours, hunting her as she goes. Blue, like grief in the shadow.

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Blue lavender fields in Marseille Black, dark chocolate on winter days Black bitter coffee on Sakura. I dip the brush in the water Then in my heart

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The Non-Fiction:
Underneath a Plastic face I believed once in Confucius saying that: Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it. It is hard to see beauty because it is reflected in soul and mind. Beauty is a world. It is a wonderland where you can still see grace even if you close your eyes, it is something that can snatch your affection even if you lose senses. But what I used to believe in wasnt more than just philosophy and cheap talk according to our new world .What is actually truer and down to earth is that beauty is more embodied in looks. The 21st century society craves for looking better, without getting enough of it. Our world became impossible to please with the presence of those marvelous models in every magazine, even the so-called Reality shows that are supposed to present real life became exigent on appearances. I believed once in the beauty of everything, but sometimes you need to break this thick shell to see a fine gem glowing. Sometimes low self-esteem dissolves beauty and forms a weak person. I have always believed that inner power generates a non-existing charm, and a pushy attitude may force others to like this original beauty And then I was wrong! I went to the same school since I was 8 years old; I had some good friends, a normal average and a pretty good reputation among teachers. For my mom I was the prettiest girl alive. Shed wake up at 6, comb my hair and braid it back, then prepare me my daily oatmeal with red fruits bowl. As Id reach the bus, my friend Jena would pull my hair down and divide it between the two sides of my face as she convinced me that my golden long hair would let my nose look narrower. Nonetheless, no one had ever noticed the

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difference, as if the image of my gruesome nose was tattooed in their minds. I always had a problem with it, and there was no way to me to accept the argument god created me like this! It started when I first entered school, everyone used to nickname me Duckling nose. I didnt have the guts to face my classmates, because they made me hate myself for what I am. I used to contemplate my face in the mirror before I sleep; I saw big almond eyes, full pink lips and a crescent shaped nose centering my bronzed figure . I only saw my self-worth in a glassy mirror. I used to cover it with my right hand and imagine a Feminine nose that might look like Charlize Therons perhaps. I wanted it to be superfine, that will define me as a Lady and reach the beauty standards of elegancy and sophistication. At the age of 16, when everyone was asked to go to the annual school party I was the only one left without a date. I didnt know the reason back then, and I always blamed my duckling nose for my miseries and weaknesses. I still remember that I spent the night in my room flipping magazines in my bed while my friends were enjoying their night out. As Jenna and the other girls were seeing guys, I was fed up of being the only single one. I set my Facebook profile to privacy mode and uploaded my photo with a photoshopped nose .I didnt get any likes, even from my mom who got angry and gave me a lesson about self-acceptance as she always does; and that takes me back to the last fight we had about this topic. It was a Saturday, when I was waiting for Mom to pick me up from the Basketball training, she saw me sitting at the front door with a disabled girl on a wheelchair. On our way home she asked me about her name and age. So, sweetie whats your friends name? Are you on the same basketball team?

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I looked at my mom and faked a smile. My mother is the type of person who confronts without being straight to the point, and I directly understood what she was going to bring afterwards. I felt annoyed and just kept starring at the windows. Her name is Farah, and yes we practice together, I murmured after a while. Farah She looks very mature. She is accepting the fact of being different, but she is insisting on defying it. That girl must be an example for you, my mother said as we arrived to the house. The next morning, in the middle of a Sunday family breakfast I couldnt resist to keep my mouth shut, I just wanted to expel all this sorrow I had for the past years. I screamed for the first time in front of my parents: I am doing a nose job! Yes, you heard me I am turning 18 and I can do whatever i want to, I have been saving money from the past holidays and birthdays and it can cover the surgery. My parents were shocked at first, but at the end they had to support me for doing something I really wanted. A week later I went to my first appointment to the doctor, he took photos of my nose in every possible angle, in face and in profile. He then sketched me a 3D model of my new nose that looked just perfect! I spent the night before my surgery thinking about everything, my new nose, my life after this huge change, the reaction of the people. At some point my mind started to bluff. What would happen if my nose turned out to be uglier and wider? No... No it wont happen. Well plastic surgery disasters are all over the internet who are you fooling? I said goodbye to the figure I lived in for eighteen years, I said goodbye for duckling face, and for the insecurities. The next day I was lying in a bed, having my nose operated, and all my family and Jenna were waiting in the room.

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I kept on hardly breathing for the next two month, but I didnt mind that as long as I looked prettier than before. As I entered University, I felt like a new person was born. I walked confident in the halls and attended parties like everyone without feeling ashamed of my face. I got what I always wanted, compliments from guys, a better social life and a nose I wouldnt cover with my hand in front of a glassy mirror. Sometimes, I still get the same rejections I used to have years ago, and many times I waited in a restaurant for a guy who didnt show up. I kept my silence and felt okay with it. It is funny that now I woke up and realized I have always blamed my skin for my misfortune. I thought that my weakness was born from my ugly nose, so I chose the temporary medicine over the permanent long lasting one. I didnt opt to fortify my heart and mind like Farah did. I just stood there like a coward and ran to the easier path. I am still the same inside, I only changed my shell! It is like covering a broken table with a cover instead of rectifying it. I discovered that my happiness doesnt lie between some flesh and bones; it exists in a more valuable place. The weak girl is still hidden under this new plastic face, she is not stronger, what changed was the societys look at her. She let her entourage control her life when she was the master of her own life; she got them to accept her as a plastic statue and not as a human being.

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Some could have done better pieces:

Poem: Sonnet
Its time! A voice in my head begged to relax Ive been working all the day for my fate They want me at once to pay the tax No man can give me any word but Wait,

Why should I excise to the robbers? While I can build castles for my children Why should I listen to the burglars? While I can make my own decision

I am a citizen, I am human I shall live in a decent atmosphere Where the land is full of tulip pollen You and I have the right to interfere

Finally were awake from the torpor Its time for loyalty to conquer

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The fiction
Plan X

Field work was the only thing we were doing this summer. Wed wake up at 8, dress up and directly hit the bus to start the geological research. It was a routine that we repeated for 70 days, field work, shower, food, bed. The hotel we stayed in was very quiet. It had five units, where we occupied four of them. The fifth was taken by the hotel manager. It was the only hotel in the area. We were 70km away from Beirut, in a small village called Qartaba. Each time I remember this village I think of the fresh mornings, the Mountain View from the bedroom and the good days I spent with my roommates Serine and Nora. They were two girls I met in my sophomore year at AUB. We werent that close, until we lived together those 2 months. Serine was the type of girls who loved to keep our unit neat and used to scream at us if we entered the living room without removing our shoes after returning from the muddy fields. She was the best cooker; shed do the finest omelets for breakfast, and deserts. Her cakes were the best part of her cooking; my purest indulgence was watching the creamy rich chocolate melt in a pan and smelling the vanilla aroma as the spongy layered cake comes out of the oven. Every time the delightful odors captivate the neighbors, our classmates would knock the door and enter to eat with us. In the unit directly at our left lived our classmates Raja and Louie who we shared our food. Serine would let them in only if theyd wash the dishes after we finish. When Raja finished cleaning the dishes and drying them, Louie would grab a cold bottle of Corona in one hand and arrange the plates in the cabinets with the other. Hed keep on singing Beer! Beer! Where have you been my dear?, until he puts the last item in the drawer or cabinet. Our classmates in the other two rooms frequently were invited to join us. But one of them used to stumble by every day. Her name was Amira, I didnt know much about

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her, except that she was 6 years old older than me. I am sure that Nora and Serine didnt know her much to. But she would enter our unit like she had been a friend for a long time. Shed open the fridge and have whatever she wants, mostly cheese in all their varieties as it was her favorite food, shed add it on anything: pasta, stews and even eggs. Shed use our chargers, Cd players, and even sometimes had showers at our bathroom although her room was 6 meters away. The boys got to meet her more because she was their group partner in the field work. Louie would always laugh at her way to talk or to dress up. She used to wear pastel colored ballet flats with nude tights that are two degrees lighter than her skin because she used to think that lighter skin is much purer. On a Monday in mid-July as I remember, after we had our usual dinner on our balcony, the guys did their usual job, me and my roommates would prepare the tea and the desert, and Amira of course would sneak to her unit to grab her phone and speak to her parents. I usually didnt feel that she left our unit, and sometimes I didnt notice that she was in our unit. Shed return back to have her portion of the cake but shed never ask if we need help. That night we all decided to go to bed early, the girls went to their beds before me, while I was checking on the door locks as usual. As the hotel consisted of only one floor, I always had the fear of thieves in that small village I would lock the windows and door and then go to bed. While I was closing the curtains, someone knocked at the door. It wasnt a usual knock; it was like a hammer hitting the surface of the door. Serine and Nora screamed: Whats happening Sandra? Whos at the door. I looked up the eye hole. It was Amira; I could identify her with her Hijab. But that time it was loose and nearly all her hair was showing at the edges, it was the first time I see her in a wrath. I couldnt understand why she is slamming the door at 12 a.m. I opened, and there she is

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bursting into tears. She lied on our couch and screamed: girls help me! Please help. She was hitting her face with her hands, and raising her legs upwards and then downwards. I was petrified, a voice in my mind was screaming: Oh god! What should I do? Should I give her a medicine? Should I tell her to sleepover? Serine and Nora stayed speechless then they went into the room, I ran after them. Wait girls what are you laughing at? I said Nora had tears as she was laughing, she couldnt stop and then looked at me and giggled: Well we did it, with the guys, the plan X worked. And there, a flash of memory crossed in front of my eyes in just a few seconds. Plan X was a list of dares that we had to accomplish before graduating from AUB. We wrote it in our sophomore year to have a new sort of adventure. Serine came with the idea, and the dares were put with the agreement of everyone, which included me, Nora and Louie. Yeah! Serines insane ideas, although shes a mature type of girls she acts wild when it comes to having fun. One of the first dares we did was in the first spring semester 2012, we had to collect 5 tag plates for different buildings in AUB, it took us 30 minutes to remove the screws from our chairmans plate on his office door in the middle of the night, and many others including entering the ceramics class after having a shot of absinthe, which turned out to be hilarious cause the instructor although noticed it, started to joke with us. We called it plan X because it contained extreme tasks and one of them was what we did to Amira. We were planning on doing it to someone random, but destiny chose her, or maybe she gave this to herself because she wasnt cautious enough! Amira went into the room, she could barely feel her legs, I could see it through her walk, shed hit the walls and then she fell in my bed. I am tired; I dont know whats

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happening with me! I was sitting in my room and I felt like I was in a dream. I didnt even know if I existed, I am not crazy please trust me I am not crazy, shed continue to speak and then stop at every two words. Serine looked at her, and tried to calm her with a glass of cold water, I knew she was even more scared than me because she wasnt a hundred per cent okay with this task, which was giving someone a hash brownie. We wanted to have fun, of course, without messing in others lives. Yet, sometimes it is amusing to imagine someone high without them knowing. But what happened with Amira was not expected! She refused to drink water and to interact with us, she felt that something is weird about us; she entered the kitchen with her phone and closed the door. We suddenly heard something hit the floor, we ran to the kitchen. She was lying on the floor in the corner her hands were trembling and her phone was dropped away, she yelled: Nora please give me the phone I need it now. Nora grabbed the phone from the floor and asked her: what do you want from it? You are already shaking and nervous calm down before. Amira closed her eyes and stopped shaking, she took a big breath. Shed inhale and exhale slowly, and put her hand on her heart: girls look at my heart beat its. Its its very fast. Please give me the phone I need Dr. Antons help. We all got together in the living room and left Amira in the kitchen to manage this chaos before Dr. Anton knows what we did; Dr. Anton is a well-known psychologist. He is the students counselor in the psychological healthcare, and the chairman of the psychology department. Once Amira told us that he was a close person to her, he helped her achieve her minor in psychology and was a good source of relief for students. When once Raja and Louie asked about the scar on her right wrist .she told them that, a year ago, when her 7 years old twin brothers were playing near the river they jumped in it to

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get the ball and when she tried to rescue them she injured her hand, and both her brothers drowned. Dr. Anton was always there to help her to speak about this accident and with time he became her psychologist. We were not thinking about Amira, all our concern was to not get caught. The first thing to do was to clear all the evidence of plan X. When Nora went to the kitchen to take care of Amira she saw her dialing the number. It was already 1 a.m. we were sure that no one would be answering. But then we heard her speaking: Hello hello Dr. Its me Amira. Then she started crying , her face was pale , shed continue talking with a heavy tongue: I was sleeping in my room when suddenly I felt that something is hitting my head, I opened my eyes and I couldnt know if I existed or not, I thought I was dreaming but I wasnt, I cant understand what happened! I still have the same feeling of dream. I feel like I am awake but I am not, as if I am paralyzed. My hands are relaxed I cant even know if I am holding the phone. Serine ran to Amira to hear what he was saying. But the sound was low, we could only know what she was telling him, and at the same times we figured out what he was answering. I have my friends near me, I ran to them when I first felt I wasnt okay. She said and then, we sensed that he wanted her to sit alone as she replied: I cant sit in a private room !I cant walk, my feet are so relaxed! she started wailing We held the phone and convinced her to turn on the speaker in the excuse of her unconsciousness and the fact that she was barely awake. Finally she turned it on ,and then they continued: Amira please listen to me, tell me what you did today in details.

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-I woke up, I went to the field work and returned back at 5pm. I showered and then ate at my friends and stayed in their house. At 10pm I returned back to my unit I watched tv and then tried to sleep. -What did you eat today? -In the morning I had a small cheese sandwich, and in the afternoon I had pizza, brownies and tea at my friends. -Tell me when did you feel dizzy and unconscious? - I felt it after I turned off the TV. And I am feeling sleepy now I am still having the same chills. -Who did you see today? -I Saw the three girls who are also my classmates and neighbors and my to group partners Louie and Raja. -Did you notice anything weird about them? With you? Between them? Serine took the phone from Amiras hands; she spoke to the Dr. to settle the situation she told him that Amira is the only one to live in a unit alone and probably she has been scared but she is doing fine. He was not convinced , but after all it was in the middle of the night, he insisted on Amira to call him the next morning and cut conversation. I went to Louie and Rajas unit with Nora; they were already awake playing Halo on their Ps3. They were not aware of what was happening. The TV speakers were already loud and they were focusing on their game. I turned off their play station, they were disturbed and started complaining: Sandra turn it on, we were finishing level 20! I didnt know what

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to tell them, I wanted to laugh but at the same time I was scared of Amiras reaction the next day, but I admitted: Amira is lying now in our kitchen! She thinks she is dying! Didnt you guys tell us that weed will only make her high? Raja crawled on the couch and mocked: Are you serious? How much did you put from the dough ball we gave you? I stared at Nora; her cheeks were blushing as she stuttered: I, I Me and Serine whisked in the brownies mixture the whole Weed dough. The guys didnt say anything they just smiled and turned on again their PlayStation. I yelled: So what are we supposed to do? Wait for Dr. Said and Dr. Anton to know? Louie was calm, I doubtlessly knew that he was high, because he had a piece of that brownie, but he got used to weed months ago. Raja went to our unit with us he put Amira to sleep with Nora and Serines help; it was the only way to relieve the dizziness and the weed effect. She slept that day on my bed. I entered the kitchen to have a sip of water; I saw the last piece of brownies .It smelled like old smoked herbs. Its odor was so pungent that it fills the nostrils and thrusts the stomach. I dont even know how she ate that disgusting piece of dirt. Honestly who would have eaten something that had an awful smell? Except, for the poor Amira, she never says no for Serines desert. I entered the bathroom with the brownie in my hand, I didnt have a choice, I had to stick my hand with the piece into the toilet seat and flash so it will disappear. I closed my nose counted to three and there it went into the water. The next day, when Amira woke up she was feeling a lot better she decided to call Dr. Anton who asked her right away to do a blood and urine test because he had doubts about what happened. When Amira asked about the nearest laboratory in the area, she found that it was in Jbeil. As she didnt have a car, she urged any one of us to drive her to Jbeil.

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Please guys, can anyone give me a ride to the nearest hospital in jbeil, I want to do some tests and there are no taxi cabs here. Everyone ignored her as if they didnt hear her, except for Nora, who proposed to her to postpone it for the next day because she was busy. I looked at her and pulled her by her hand in the balcony, I breath heavily: If the test showed that there are weed traces in her body what are we going to do? You could have ignored her like us, Nora laughed and whispered : Well, it only takes less than 48 hours till all the substance comes out of her body , I should take her to the hospital , this is the only solution to take away the doubts from us!. When the results came negative, and Dr. Anton received them, he was confused of diagnosing her. He proposed to her long therapies in the weekends to know the cause. At the end, it wasnt only us who knew that she had a panic attack from the weird feeling of weed, she acknowledged PlanX. While the guys were cynically joking about her in the field, Amira heard them and decided for the first time in her life to face them, as she had something powerful to hold against them. When she saw that the guys were not afraid about that, she shrank and was totally discomposed with Rajas reply that was sharp as a knife: its the second time you repeat this field work course, and we all know that you cant accomplish it without us! Its either you forget about it and shut up or we dont help you and you fail the course again. Louis also added: It is some stupid weed Amira; it is even healthier than the canned cheese you always eat in the morning, just deal with it! She had to do a big choice. For her passing the course was more important than everything, she was the last one to ever mention plan X as she said: Id rather pass it rather than be trapped my whole next year with you Plan X rats and she continued on walking in the field.

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Annotations about extra material:

Poem: Free verse
Here is a draft 1 and draft 2 for my poem. There are big improvements, the comments on my first draft helped me right a better version of the poem. This was done by conferencing which was very efficient for me.

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Sonnet and Fiction:

The negative point about them is that no changes were made for the sonnet, and small ones were done to the fiction. The problem was the subject from the beginning, but because of lack of time I couldnt change the subject at all !