MY PERCEPTION OF TOLERANCE

Milica Stankovi

Gimnazija Bora Stankovi micika27@gmail.com 060-42-42-148

Lately we speak a lot about human rights, differences, ethnic and religious groups and above all about tolerance. But the problem is what is tolerance, what does that word mean and is it misused between people. I can not say that there is a strick definition of tolerance, but the most common one is that tolerance means permissive attitude toward those whose opinions, views, religion, nation, etc. are different than ours. But is it really just that or is there some deeper sense of it? The thing that made me think about tolerance is that majority of people around me say that they are tolerant, but their point of view does not match with the definition of it. All of us have different point of view of tolerance, depending on our surroundings, we understand it differently. Anyway, if we dont try to find some deeper sense of tolerance, we will all think that we are tolerant and that we dont have to change. If you ask me, tolerance is much more than just permissive attitude toward those who are different than me. It includes much more and its hardly possible that everybody be completely tolerant. I will try to explain it with examples from my surrounding and my country. In Serbia, unfortunately, discrimination is on high level. There is discrimination against Romans or any other ethnical group, against all the religions except Eastern Orthodoxy, against homosexual people, against people with special needs and discrimination against women. As much as some people, some organizations want to change that picture, media has huge influence on Serbian citizens because lately in the media we can see a lot of scenes of intolerance and violence. Also, crises, lack of workplaces, tough conditions of life are very important in this topic too. In those times, people need something that will make them more important and give them some self-satisfaction, so they start to degrade others just to become bigger in their own eyes and because of that they start discriminating others. Is that going to change soon or we have a lot more work? Well, it is not going to change soon, definitely. Why? Because Serbia is still very conservative society. Here we have big problem with people who are better in something then we are. Something like that is forbidden here, there only choice between being equal or worst than the majority. Best example of that would be the most popular sentence used by Serbs: Let the neighbors cow die. In early 2000s, when we became democratic country, there was a campaign by government and national television that promoted tolerance. Their motto was: Let the neighbors cow be alive and healthy tolerance. Today, everything that left from that campaign is only the slogan that is used in some jokes. When you ask people do they want to change that or, better, do they think they should change it, the only answer youll get is: What can I do about it? Well, they can do a lot. I noticed that lately we have more and more projects with same subject, and that subject is tolerance and that is something that really makes me happy because here there are people who also notice that something is wrong and that something must be changed. So, what could be goals of all of those projects, what should they change in the society? First, they should educate people. Serbia is a country with a big percentage of uneducated people who affect on others from their surrounding. Lack of education maybe doesnt seem as that big problem, but it is. While learning we start to be more curious, we start to think about something we have never thought before and we start to understand things. Second thing that projects should do is showing the way those others live and feel. We must realize that they are same as we are, they are human, and they have feelings, needs and they also live the same life as we do. Tolerance is something that you dont get born with. You have to learn, you must be taught as a child what does it mean, and why is that the right thing. There are a lot of ways to learn about it, to understand it. One of them could be even religion. Lately, after years of communist society, years of atheism, we became religious again. People started going to churches and fast before big holidays. But thats it. No one has become a

real believer, no one thinks about real values that church should promote, about equality, helping, giving and receiving. That doesnt exist here. We dont see that, the only thing that is important is to say that you are a believer and that you fast. The important is what do you eat, is there going to be some fat in you meal during the fast, but its not important are your thoughts clean too. We really forgot about what does that really mean, we forgot why someone many years ago invented churches, what was his goal and we still dont want to be aware of it. Everything good is forgotten. Unfortunately, that is the situation in whole country. Our system of values is much discorded. Here, even though we have laws, the only one is the law of the strongest. What have affected us, why are we like that? Media affected a lot to that kind of behavior. National service no, but commercial televisions did. There are a lot of Turkish and Indian telenovelas that promote violence over women, at first place, and than over others. Instead of educational material we get all those scenes which affect a lot to a society that is already on the border between tolerance and intolerance. Being a citizen of this country, I also can become like that. My surrounding is not the most tolerant one and it could affect me. So, if I could change it by myself, how would that reflect to the society? Well, fear would disappear. We could walk by the streets of the city and we wouldnt worry that someone can hurt us only because we have different hair or skin color, only because we speak other language, only because we dont celebrate all the same holidays or simply, only because someone doesnt like us. Also, smiling would become a normal thing that we can see on the streets. It wouldnt be weird if you passed by someone and smiled, that person wouldnt think that you are crazy, no, hed smile to you back. Wouldnt we all like to live in a community like that? Community where you wont be rejected for a job just because you are a woman even though you have all the right qualifications; community where you wont be ignored only because you have a little bit darker skin color; community where you wouldnt be a fool if you helped someone in a wheelchair. That maybe takes a lot of time and a lot of work, but wouldnt be worth it? That is something that could be my dream. An educated, developed and good society. As I already said, that is something that dont get born with, we must see that somewhere, we must feel it and someone should teach us as children. I had that luck to be born in a very liberal and modern family where only values are who you really are, how much do you care about the others, and are you ready to help someone. But what about my peers who didnt have that luck, who were raised in a conservative and typical Serbian family, is it too late for them? I wouldnt say so. I think that its never late to learn, to meet people and to try to understand them. A lot of thing can make them do that. Here, unfortunately, had to happen something very bad so we could start realizing what in fact is important. But I was proudest person in the world few days ago when I saw huge protest in my city against the violence. That showed me that still there is some hope for all of us, that we might become a tolerant and better society. In that moment, we were all united, we all had the same vision, and same motive, same goal, and we didnt care about differences. We were all one. That is how we should be every day, every hour, and every moment. Also we must accept that loving other people, donating smiles and spreading love and kindness is not a bad thing, its not something we should be afraid of to do, because that is the only way we will progress and maybe some day we will accomplish all of that and become modern society where differences are valued not judged and society where tolerance is not something that we just talk about and dont understand it, but the normal thing seen every day on the streets.