Title: Achieve Your Most Elusive Goals Word Count: 1961 Summary: Everyone has something in their life

that they would like to change. Some really big goals include overcoming addiction, achieving and sustaining weight loss, a ttaining inner peace, manifesting health, or becoming more successful. We are bo rn to continuously expand our abilities. Keywords: goal setting Article Body: Everyone has something in their life that they would like to change. Some really big goals include overcoming addiction, achieving and sustaining weight loss, a ttaining inner peace, manifesting health, or becoming more successful. We are bo rn to continuously expand our abilities. The beginning of most goals are excitin g. Visions of triumph flourish in the minds of those starting a path of change. Each new day brings energy to chase down the most elusive of goals. But what if you've been working on manifesting the same dream for years? And one day, despit e your optimism, despite the effort of applying the tools of empowerment, you re alize that you have not acquired the goal which you set for yourself. Encountering a obstacle, even a seemingly insurmountable obstacle, doesn't mean you are on the wrong path. We all experience despair and doubt. Times where we q uestion the worth of what we do. Moments of temptation to give up. I have them, as does each person I work with. I would wager that everyone striving to become more than they were before, reaches a critical time of choice. Feeling sorry for yourself is not a wrong action. What we often fail to see is the value in this pit of despair. This experience of despair is precisely what is necessary for th e breakthrough to occur. BELIEF SYSTEMS AND INTERNAL TAPES The dark experiences of despair are not logical, nor solved intellectually. Thes e moments of darkness mean we have brought ourselves back to the core of what we believe about ourselves. Deep painful beliefs that we would rather keep hidden from ourselves and from others. The pain of not yet achieving our goals forces u s to look at what we believe to be true about ourselves. Limiting beliefs are va ried, but can include the following: "Something is wrong with me." "I never get what I want." "I cant' get what I want, no matter what I do. It's hopeless." "Who I am is not enough." "I don't belong." When we are undergoing change, the realization we must make is that is it not wh at faces us that is the problem, but how we are reacting to it. How we react to the situation is based on our inner beliefs about ourselves. The despair is felt because you have increased inner conflict. Conflict of what you want to believe

versus what you actually believe. This conflict must either be suppressed (by g iving up the goal) or the conflict must be resolved (goal is attained or a new b elief system becomes integrated.). It is at this very pressure point, giving up or moving forward, that allows the choice to step into a new belief about yourself or to reinforce an old belief. J ust because things seem insurmountable right now, doesn't mean you shouldn't be following this path. It only means you are face to face with what you believe. A nd an inner belief system being threatened can result in a variety of symptoms, the most common being negative thoughts, suicidal thoughts, hopelessness, low en ergy, panic or anxiety, or worrying about small details. DARK PITS With great change comes the risk of facing the darkness of what we believe about ourselves. Sometimes it's fairly easy to face the darkness and bring light. But sometimes we fall directly into the pit. If you fall in, take a breath and know this experience has great value. You are only here because you are ready to exp lore and encounter a horrible idea that you have about yourself. An idea that yo u can't have what you want, that your best isn't good enough, or that no matter what you do things remain hopeless. Inside the dark hole are ideas you made up a bout yourself when you were a child as an attempt to explain the experience of g rowing up. Your spirit is hiding in the darkness, waiting for your return. So if you are in the dark pit of despair you are in a place of blest fortune. You hav e reached the place in which you have hidden your spirit. Only you can choose to bring you spirit back into the light. As you face the darkness, will you decide to heal your spirit by offering it encouragement? Will you reassure your spirit and bring new information? Let's say you decide to be with your darkness? Now what? You must sit with it. S it with the pain of what this darkness represents. Yes, it feels overwhelming. C onfusing. Hopeless. In the darkness there are only dark thoughts. Do not fight t he darkness with more darkness (anger, frustration, threats, hopelessness . . ). It would only create a larger darkness. ACCEPTANCE alone is the key. The darkne ss and despair fights with all it's might to keep us believing that we are weak and defective. Not because it is evil, but because we put these beliefs into pla ce to keep our spirits safely hidden in the dark. As an adult, you now hold the key to accept the darkness, to accept all the dark thoughts, and offer it love a nd light. Listen to your spirit. Let it speak its words of fear. Then offer your spirit comfort and acceptance. After all, your spirit went through some pretty tough times that it deciding hiding was the only safe option. You have traveled quite a distance, only to come to a dead end. Accept that you do not have what you want. Accept this. Not with anger, not with frustration. Si mply breath and accept. It doesn't matter why you are at this point. It is as it is. Now go more deeply into it. This point of transition can provide opportunity to strengthen your spirit and n ot let outside circumstances throw you off balance. This is a pivotal occasion t o choose empowering thoughts, practice gentleness and reassurance, and reinforce your belief that you can have what you want. Accept the experience as best you can. It will lead to insight. Acceptance of what is, even though it might feel t errifying, is the way out. Acceptance is not apathy. Use acceptance to allow you to go deeper. A journal, a therapist, or a trusted friend may help as you sit w ith these questions: 1. What am I experiencing right now? 2. What are my thoughts concerning this experience?

3. What am I feeling? 4. What do I believe about myself, my place in the world, as I encounter this de ad end? 5. Is this similar to how I felt in certain situations as a child? 5. What does my spirit need to feel safe and trusting? 6. If I was wise and loving, how would I comfort myself? WHICH PATH TO CHOOSE Go forward or give up? There are no wrong choices. At this point of transition, do not force yourself. Do not inflict judgement upon yourself. Realize that you have invited yourself to question an essential belief you hold to be true about yourself. Maybe the time is right to sit with this, maybe the time is not yet ri ght. If it is your destiny to allow yourself to have what your goal represents, you will create the opportunity once again. Relax. Recognize how terrifying this moment is and find compassion for yourself. What path should you choose? Carlos Castaneda wrote in, "The Teaching of Don Juan", "Does the path have heart? If i t does, the path is good; if it doesn't, it is of no use. Both paths lead nowher e; but one has heart and the other doesn't. One makes you strong; the other weak ens you." Perhaps the real transition at this choice point is the courage to ope n your heart to yourself as you witness yourself experiencing what you fear most . SITTING WITH WHAT IS To move through this doubt and despair, sit with what you feel. Speak the words of frustration and anger. Write them down. Often times what we most need is some one else to allow us to fully be in a place of utter hopeless. For them to say, "I see you there, and it's okay." And to know they won't attempt to fix it or ma ke it better. We need to offer ourselves the same compassion. To look at ourselves in our mome nts of despair and say, "It's okay that I feel this. It's okay that I am experie ncing this." To offer ourselves the love and compassion of not trying to fix our selves. If confusion is what you feel, fully feel confusion, with love for yours elf as you feel it. Open your body and let confusion and expand within you. Expe riment (with a therapist if this is too difficult) with not being afraid of your own emotions. Avoid the temptation to retreat into old patterns of starving, ov ereating, bingeing, or numbing out with other addictions. The fact that you are feeling such confusion is not a sign of failure. This is a sign of growth and co urage. Even though the feelings are difficult, recognize the value of being exactly whe re you are. Attempt to be with your feeling without judgement. Feel what you fee l with acceptance. Accept that you are experiencing despair, hopelessness or fru stration. No need to judge it. No need to defend it. No need to analyze it and f igure out where this came from. It is acceptable to feel misery. It is acceptabl e to want to give up. We've all felt that at times. Your task at this critical p oint is to find a way to open your heart and receive to your own despair. Cry th e tears, shout the anger, give witness to the unfairness of it all. Then decide. Even though you are at a dead end, what can you do right now? It might seem so much easier to go back to food, bingeing, alcohol, starving, exercise, or divers ions for comfort. But is that what you really want? Refocus your thoughts away f rom the future and bring yourself back to right now. Bring words of power and en couragement. "I possess the gifts of inner belief, patience, conviction and disc ipline. I can choose my goals and I have the strength and stamina to reach for t

hem. I am a working and viable part of the world and I have an important job to do. I am not afraid to believe in my inner strength or my power." GREATER FAITH As I continue on my journey, I have learned that achieving greater faith is an o ngoing journey. and not just a one step process. Each of us have many limiting b elief systems within that must be faced, accepted, and released. Faith in anythi ng, including myself, is an infinite and ever expanding experience. There is a p assage in Betty Eadie's book, "Awakening the Heart" where she describes faith as an ongoing process. First we have knowledge. Then belief. We practice belief ov er and over again, and eventually faith begins to develop. Whether you are talki ng about faith in a god, or faith in yourself, it is not something you wake up w ith one day. At least that is not my experience. It takes going back to the dark places to re-establish faith. Learning to be kind to our spirit that may be sca red, stubborn, and even defiant. Although it is painful and we may desperately want to run from what we feel, onl y by sitting with our spirit that is hiding in the darkness and bringing it love that we can re-establish faith. I have often wished at times it weren't so. It is excruciatingly painful to uncover what hurts within us. But we eventually dis cover truth: it is only our own misconception, our own belief, our own judgement and punishment, that we are not worthy. The reward is deciding, to our amazemen t, that it really is okay to open our own heart to all aspects of our self.