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Listen to your teens, parents advised Posted on February 23, 2012, Thursday KUCHING: Teenage runaway cases are making the news in the state. The teenagers are mostly females with relationships with so-called boyfriends. The problem is best tackled at home through healthy positive relationships with parents, according to Welfare, Women and Family Development Minister Datuk Fatimah Abdullah. Fatimah advised parents and guardians not to neglect their childrens emotional needs but spend quality time with them. If we study the profile and background of teenage runaways, often they bel ong to the vulnerable group that craves love and attention, she said. The minister said teenage relationship with peers must be monitored by their families to ensure they cultivate friendships which were healthy, positive and conducted with respect. First look at the type of relationship these teenagers are having with their peers. Parents and family must monitor it closely and intervene when something is not right, she said. We need to make the partners of runaway teenagers accountable for what happened. It is obvious they have no respect for the relationship, their partners and parents if they have the capacity to talk their so-called girlfriends or boyfriends into running away, she said. PKR women vice-president Voon Shiak Ni also believes the issue could be solved through education and awareness at home and in school. She said schools need to conduct moral education and parents strive to be better listeners for their children at home. One of the most important contributing factors to eloping is lack of cohesiveness in the family, and the advent of internet services which provide the opportunity for unhealthy relationships to flourish among teenagers. She said lonely young people had the tendency to seek solace through the Internet and Facebook due to lack of emotional nurturing by working parents and a hectic lifestyle. My advice to parents is to allocate quality time to listen to their children for the home is a place to contain their emotional needs, Voon said. This month alone newspapers are featuring stories on missing individuals, mostly young teenagers aged 13 to 15 years old. On Feb 10 and 11, photos of Form 1 student Shandy Mikai from Sibu and Ivy Evaniee Andrew, 15, from SMK Penrissen No.1 appeared in the papers with their distraught parents pleading for them to come home. Emily Celestine, 13, went missing the second time this year, the first time on Jan 15 to elope with her boyfriend. Rachael Moh, 14, from RPR Batu Kawa failed to return home on Monday. Rachaels friends told her father that she was driven away in a grey Perodua Kancil by her boyfriend, surnamed Chen. Some teenagers risk their lives and limbs just for a night out with so-called lovers.

On Jan 28 was a story of a 16-year-old girl who leaped from the balcony of her parents third floor flat to meet her boyfriend for a night out. The teenager was abetted by her 14-year-old sister to sneak out of their flat at Jalan Ban Hock without their parents knowledge.

Read more: http://www.theborneopost.com/2012/02/23/listen-to-your-teensparents-advised/#ixzz25fZgI6BW


Friday March 23, 2012

Another missing girl found with her boyfriend

JERANTUT: Yet another teenage girl was feared to have gone missing only to be discovered with her boyfriend. Nornabila Mat Yaacob, 15, of Taman Koperasi here, was found by her family at about 10pm on Wednesday. They spotted her at a sundry shop in Taman Tas, Kuantan before bringing her home. OCPD Supt Azid Ismail said initial investigations revealed that the girl had voluntarily followed her boyfriend to Kuantan the second time the girl had run away from home. Based on our information, her boyfriend, in his mid-20s, is already married, he said.

Her mother Norazlina Osman, 47, said she was thankful that nothing untoward had happened to her daughter. On Wednesday, Norazlina sought help to trace the whereabouts of Nornabila who had gone to a shop nearby to buy a top-up card for her mobile phone. She failed to return. In a similar case, 15-year-old Siti Nur Fatihah Mahadi went missing on the same day as Nornabila. Siti Nur Fatihah was allegedly abducted in Taman Tas the same area where Nornabila was found while on her way to top up her mobile phone credit. Police later found out that she had actually run away to be with her boyfriend, aged 26, in Kampung Merchong, Pekan.

The Star/Asia News Network Saturday, Jun 02, 2012

http://www.asiaone.com/News/AsiaOne%2BNews/Malaysia/Story/A1Story20120602350073.html A man named "Boy" not only convinced his teenage girlfriend to run away from home but also tricked her family into believing that he did not know her whereabouts.
He even offered to help them find her, reported Harian Metro. Businesswoman Sri Astutik, 43, said her 15-year-old daughter Yenny Nurjanaj Abdullah left their home in Taman Kempas Baru, Johor Baru, last month after sending her mother a text message asking if she could join a dance class. "I felt uneasy about allowing her to join the class as she had been behaving in a peculiar manner lately," Astutik said. "So, I replied saying that I will decide after discussing the matter with her father," she said.

"Yenny was at home that morning when I went to the market. But when I returned, she had disappeared. "She took along her identification card and handphone. "A motorcycle and a black Honda EX5 with the licence number JHB 835 are also missing." "We asked Boy if he knew where she was and he pretended not to know that she had run away," a worried Astutik said. However, "Boy" had begun to reject her calls, leading Astutik to believe that he has something to do with her daughter's disappearance. Astutik said Yenny, a Form Three student at SMK Sri Rahmat Tampoi, had been behaving strangely ever since she befriended "Boy", who lives in Taman Universiti. Astutik, who lodged a police report on Thursday, is asking anyone with information on Yenny's whereabouts to contact her at 010-6633863 or 016-7616944.

Make teens aware that running off is risky

I BELIEVE the reason many teenagers run away from home is that they dislike their home environment (Another missing girl found with her boyfriend The Star, March 23). They leave home for what they think are greener pastures. There was also a report of a boy who strayed from home. He thought his home was boring, which led him to explore outside on his own. As they reach puberty, teens become more rebellious and yearn for freedom. They wander outside seeking freedom and may end up meeting unscrupulous people. They are then conned by the sweet words of people who in reality are wolves in sheeps clothing. These people also use social networking sites to trick naive teenagers, who can end up being victims of human trafficking syndicates. Some of these teenagers will be used as drug mules and things will turn ugly if they are caught. Teenage girls can end up in the sex industry.

Most are unaware of the trouble and hurt they cause their families in their bid for freedom. Teenagers lie and concoct stories to escape from home. Those who come from broken families have a stronger tendency to leave home. Parents who are busy earning a living do not have time to monitor their children, leaving them to harbour thoughts of straying in the belief that their parents do not love and care for them. They will then turn to outsiders for comfort. Encouraged by strangers, they will leave home and will be cheated by them. Some teenagers even extorted money from their parents, pretending to have been kidnapped. I believed the authorities can prevent such cases from happening by providing proper education in schools to spread awareness. Family Day is also a good way to foster ties between the parents and their children and to ensure harmony within the family. Society can lend a helping hand by nurturing teenagers so that they will understand the serious consequences of running away from home. Prevention is better than cure, so start by educating them from young to erase any thoughts of straying. YANG CHIEN FEI, Ampang, Selangor.

Old problem which needs new approach

View Workflow Runaway teens WEDNESDAY, APRIL 11, 2012 - 14:40 by Faizal Nor Izham

WONG: Working parents have little time to monitor children PETALING JAYA: The problem of teens rebelling and running away from home is an age-old one, but one that is increasing in Malaysia. From a passing phenomenon, it has since evolved into a worrying problem, one that is enough to raise alarm bells within the police force.

Since 2008, the figures have been steadily rising; with an average of two people reported missing everyday. Federal CID director Comm Datuk Seri Mohd Bakri Zinin was recently quoted as saying that from 2008 to 2011, 3,226 of the 7,662 reported were teens aged between 14 to 17 years. From this number, 1,202 were girls. Amid the number of reasons given by the teens for their runaway acts, two stand out: Running away with their lovers; as well as escaping restrictive parents. Family-based NGOs and parenting psychologists believe that the problems, though not new, require a more modern solution. Protect and Save The Children director Madeleine Yong said teen problems will always exist and so prevention is the best solution. "If parents do not create healthy relationships by listening or building a rapport with them from a young age, they are likely to rebel by seeking attention elsewhere," she said.

"It is a retaliation response, which usually stems from long-term family problems. Therefore, if parents only approach them during adolescence, it is often too late." She said teenagers today are already experimenting with sex, regardless of whether the older generation accepts this fact or not. "Kids nowadays have their own minds," she said. "Many are intelligent and well-read, and often end up doing their own thing if they are not offered guidance. Simply sending them to motivational camps just doesn't work." Parental neglect may additionally result in emotionally dysfunctional relationships for their children and even physical abuse, she said. "The changes needed in approaching teens depends on everyone else around them," she said. "If parents continue to condemn their behaviour with rigid punishments and without proper education, the situation will worsen.

YONG: Teen problem always exist, so prevention is the solution "They need accessible information and counselling. I feel schools should collaborate more with NGOs in this regard." Childline Malaysia project director P.H. Wong said broken families are a major contributing factor. "In most families nowadays, both parents are working and therefore have little time to monitor their children," she told The Malay Mail. "In fact, Childline often receives calls from children who claim to be lonely and have no-one to talk to," she said. "Divorce rates have also been on the rise since 2001, with about 300,000

reported. This is about 20 per cent of Malaysian marriages altogether." She said this leaves teenagers vulnerable, as they often find school difficult and cannot find the right kind of support to cope. As a result, they often look to other means of receiving guidance, such as through the Internet or the media. Wong stressed that parents ought to play a role by regulating their online activities, as well as integrating their children with school and community activities from a young age. Meanwhile, Malaysian Association of Psychotherapy president Dr. Edward Chan said teenagers often react this way because they have an emotional need to be independent. "This kind of rebellion is actually healthy, as it demonstrates emotional maturity," he said. "If they are not given the opportunity to make their own life decisions, they cannot hope to build healthy relationships with others."

He said this often explains why their adult relationships fail later on, as they have not been allowed to be their own person and grow. "Parents should learn not to control teenagers the way they do when they're children," he said. "They need to learn how to influence them rather than use force. "By doing so, they will learn to comply with their parents purely out of respect, which needs to be earned beforehand."
Cases of missing teens reported since 2008

FLASHBACK: Our report on the missing Shah Alam teenage girl last month IN mid-August 2008, five teenagers from Johor Baru were reported to have run away from home before being reunited with their parents a week later.

Xiu Mei, 18, together with her friends Li Zhen, 16, and Wan Jing, 14, returned to their Johor Baru homes after they had gone to Kuala Lumpur with two others, known only as Yu, 16, and Wen Li.

They parted ways later on - three of them made their way to Malacca, while the other two to Penang.

While Yu, Wen Li, Li Zhen and Wan Jing went straight home upon reaching Johor Baru, Xiu Mei spent the night at Li Zhens house, as she was afraid of being reprimanded by her family.

With only RM300 altogether during their trip, they resorted to selling off Li Zhens mobile phone for RM450 to rent a room in Malacca.

Xiu Mei said she had run away because she resented her stepfather for not approving of her friends. In Kuala Lumpur, fifteen-year-old Wong Seng Wei ran away from home for two weeks, telling his family he left because he has lost interest in his studies.

He had gone missing on July 10, 2010, and had allegedly worked at a restaurant where he was given lodging and RM15 in daily wages.

He worked there for 12 days before the restaurant owner read about his case in newspaper reports. He proceeded to alert MCA public complaints and service department chief Datuk Seri Michael Chong.

After he left home, a security guard had found Seng Wei sleeping at a bus stop outside Kota Raya mall. He later told him that he was looking for a job.

The guard brought the boy to the restaurant nearby, where the boy lied to the owner that he fled from home because loan sharks were after the family. In late September 2010, three runaway 14-year-old girls from Perak were found in a flat in Paya Terubong, Penang after being reported missing since Sept 11.

They were found with two youths, aged 19 and 20, who were said to be boyfriends of two of the girls. Police believed the three girls a pair of twins and their friend could have been raped. The boys were detained by police and the case was investigated under Section 376 of the Penal Code for statutory rape.

It was learnt that the girls had admitted to having sex with their boyfriends even before visiting Penang.

It was previously reported that the three girls had failed to return home after visiting friends on the second day of Hari Raya that year. They had left their Kampar homes at 11am.

Investigations showed that the five had boarded an express bus to Penang on Sept 14 and had stayed at a budget hotel in Jalan Pintal Tali for three nights before moving to the flat, which belong to one of their friends. On March 11 this year, a 14-year-old Shah Alam girl, reported missing by her family in Section 18 since Jan 30, was rescued by Thai police at a train station in Bangkok.

The girl then contacted her mother on March 12, informing her that she and five Myanmar nationals had been abducted by a group of people and sent to Thailand for an international prostitution syndicate.

However, they managed to escape, which resulted in their rescue at the train station.

The case was investigated by Thai police, with assistance from the Malaysian Embassy in Bangkok, under kidnapping with the intention of prostitution. The girl had told Shah Alam police she was abducted in a white van from Section 9.

Meanwhile, the embassy planned to investigate how the group succeeded in bringing a minor past the international border.

Kuala Lumpur Social Development, Crime Prevention and Anti-Drug Voluntary Organisation president Jeevan S. Ramamurthy said parents should play a role by monitoring their children's safety, as they may be lured by syndicates offering lucrative job offers that are actually traps for them to become prostitutes.


Teen Runaways

Teen Runaways are on the increase. Many teens think that the grass is greener on the other side.

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They are confused and following the crowd of peers making poor choices. Teens want to escape the "rules of a household" and we as parents, become their number one enemy. They feel that they are fearless and can prove they can survive without their parents and our rules. Rules are put in place for a reason; we love our children and want them to grow up with dignity and respect we try to instill in them. Their flight plan, in some ways, is a cry for attention. Many times runaways are back home shortly, however there are other situations that can be more serious. This is not to say

any child that runs away is not serious, but when this becomes a habit and is their way of rebelling, a parent needs to intervene. So many times we hear how "their friend's parents" allow a much later curfew or are more lenient, and you are the worst parents in the world. This is very common and the parent feels helpless, hopeless and alone. It is all part of the manipulation the teens put us through. With their unappreciative thoughts of us, they will turn to this destructive behavior, which, at times, results in them leaving the home. Some teens go to a friend's house or relative they believe they can trust and make up stories about their home life. This is very common, a parent has to suffer the pain and humiliation that it causes to compound it with the need to

get your child help that they need. If you fear your child is at risk of running, the lines of communication have to be open. We understand this can be difficult, however if possible needs to be approached in a positive manner. Teen help starts with communication. If you feel this has escalated to where you cannot control them, it may be time for placement and possibly having your child escorted. Please know that the escorts (transports) are all licensed and very well trained in removing children from their home into safe programs. These escorts are also trained counselors that will talk to your child all the way, and your child will end his/her trip with a new friend and a better understanding of why their parents had to resort to this measure.

Helpful Hint if your child has runaway and you are using all your local resources - offer a cash reward to their friends privately, of course promising their anonymity and hopefully someone will know your child's whereabouts. Having a teen runaway is very frightening and it can bring you to your wits end. Try to remain positive and hopeful and do all you can to help understand why your child is acting out this way. These are times when parents need to seek help for themselves. Don't be ashamed to reach out to others. We are all about parents helping parents. If you would like more information on Residential Treatment Centers, Therapeutic Boarding Schools, Emotional Growth Programs, Life Skills Programs, Boarding Schools, Teen Help Programs, Behavior Modification

Programs, please complete our Information Request Form for a free consultation. *Local Therapist should be Therapist/Counselors that "specialize" with Adolescents.