John Charlesworth was born in Huddersfield in 1941. He worked as a painter and decorator and later, in textile management.

Widowed twice, he married for a third time and with his wife !nne, settled in "ocklington, #ast $orkshire. His first children%s% book The Adventures of the Garden Fairies was published in &arch '(1).

With lo*e to m! son +ichard and stepdaughters "aula and Corrine, for their support when it was most needed. ,lso, to m! lo*el! extended famil! &ark and Jenni, -ar! and Helen, .ean and their children.

John Charlesworth

RHYME AND REASON

Cop!right John Charlesworth /llustrations b! John Charlesworth 0he right of John Charlesworth to be identified as author of this work has been asserted b! him in accordance with section 11 and 12 of the Cop!right, .esigns and "atents ,ct 1922. ,ll rights reser*ed. 3o part of this publication ma! be reproduced, stored in a retrie*al s!stem, or transmitted in an! form or b! an! means, electronic, mechanical, photocop!ing, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publishers. ,n! person who commits an! unauthori4ed act in relation to this publication ma! be liable to criminal prosecution and ci*il claims for damages. , C/" catalogue record for this title is a*ailable from the 5ritish ibrar!. /653 912 12497) 419 9 www.austinmacaule!.com 8irst "ublished 9'(14: ,ustin &acaule! "ublishers td. '; Canada 6<uare Canar! Wharf ondon #14 ; 5

"rinted and bound in -reat 5ritain

,cknowledgements
0o =inh 0ran and the team at ,ustin &acaule! for their help and support.

Miss Kaye
When / was at >unior school / hated poetr!, almost as much as / hated maths, and it was &iss ?a!e%s fault. @ur formidable #nglish teacher was a stickler for accurac!. 6he took it as a personal insult if an!one slipped in a wrong word during recitation. A/f &r ear had wanted it to be a palm tree, he wouldn%t ha*e called it a bong tree, would heB% 8or that *erbal transgression / had to cop! out, not once, but twice, in m! best handwriting all the *erses of A0he @wl and the "uss!cat%. / learnt to recite A0he Wreck of the Hesperus%, back to front and sidewa!s, fer*entl! wishing that &iss ?a!e had been a member of the illCfated crew. / couldn%t stand the nonsense rh!mesD 0here was one about a camel%s hump and another about a goblin who co*eted a n!mph%s green glass beads. 3ow where was the sense in thatB ,n! moral messages that such poems were meant to con*e! were completel! lost on me and, / suspect, on most of m! classmates. ,lthough / didn%t wish the likes of #dward ear and Christina +ossetti an! harm, / thought that it would ha*e been nice for &iss ?a!e, if the! could ha*e >oined her on the hea*ing deck of the Hesperus. /n spite of all that, / could >ust about tolerate poems if the! told a decent stor!, pro*iding that / didn%t ha*e to memorise them. / e*en had a soft spot for Wordsworth%s A.affodils%. /n m! Ainward e!e% / once drifted awa! from the confines of the classroom and >oined the great man as he Aga4ed along the margin of the ba!%. Enfortunatel!, counting ten thousand daffodils had the same soporific effect as counting ten thousand sheep. / nodded off and fell from m!

chair with a loud crash. &iss ?a!e was not amused and / knew that / would be punished. 0he fact that / had banged m! head on the radiator when / fell would count for nothing. 6he glared at me menacingl! and passed sentence. A$ou will write out F/ must not fall off m! chairG a hundred times and ha*e it on m! desk b! first thing in the morning.% 3ext da!, &iss ?a!e stared in disbelief at the piece of paper on which / had written H in m! best handwriting H F/ must not fall off m! chair a hundred times.G ,s an #nglish teacher she must ha*e realised that her instructions had been open to misinterpretationI she also knew without a shadow of doubt that / had chosen to misunderstand her deliberatel!. &! piece of paper finished up in the wasteCpaper basket and / heard no more about it but, for the remainder of the term, / kept a *er! low profile. 0o be fair, m! a*ersion to poetr! wasn%t solel! down to &iss ?a!e. / had formed an unfa*ourable opinion of poetr! long before / mo*ed up into her class. /n truth, / thought it was for cissies. 9, surprising number of people still do.: Joe ouis was the world hea*!weight boxing champion of that era and was one of m! childhood heroes. / could ne*er imagine him expressing his feelings in *erse. &a!be if &uhammad ,li had been around then, / would ha*e thought differentl!. ,li was almost as well known for his poetr! as he was for his pugilistic abilities. -ranted, a lot of his utterances were absurd, although, for some reason, nobod! pointed this out to him. &iss ?a!e would ha*e doneD /n spite of m! scathing remarks about poetr! in general, o*er the !ears / began to accept the fact that *erse formed an integral part of our literar! heritage. /t was the aftermath of a traged! in the Anineties% that prompted me to shed an! remaining pre>udices and inspired m! first attempt to express m! thoughts in rh!me. 0o m! surprise, m! poem was accepted for publication and featured in an antholog!. / was eager to capitalise on m! success and / wrote se*eral

more poems in <uick succession, before finall! running out of ideas. 6omeone then suggested that perhaps / could >ot down a few anecdotes and wea*e some poetr! around them. /t seemed like a good idea. / ha*e ne*er done an!thing remarkable H like climbing #*erest, swimming the channel or bungee >umping off the #iffel 0ower H but e*en so m! life hasn%t been entirel! de*oid of interest and / ha*e a wealth of anecdotes to call upon. 0he &iss ?a!e episode was one example. Here then, are a few more, with se*eral miscellaneous poems and obser*ations thrown in for good measure.

Then the Clock Struck One

/ left school in 19;7, shortl! after m! fifteenth birthda!, and were / to be offered a second bite of the cherr!, / would still choose that wonderful era in which to spend m! teens. 0he decade had started <uietl! enough H although our parents still talked about the war and flocked to the cinema to watch #rrol 8l!nn win it. 8or us, the war was becoming a distant memor!. 0he austerit! of the period was temporaril! forgotten when H during the 8esti*al of 5ritain H we showcased our manufacturing capabilities to the rest of the world. , !ear later ?ing -eorge =/ died suddenl! and the countr! was plunged into mourning. /n 19;), the Coronation of #li4abeth // rekindled the patriotic euphoria of the nation and our parents belie*ed that we were at last on course to reach the broad sunn! uplands promised to us b! Winston Churchill. 8or the most part, people of m! age had *iewed the aforementioned e*ents with indifference. We had been sorr! about the ?ing, of course, but now we had other things to think about H like, for instance, which would be the next record to reach number one on +adio uxemburg%s top twent! programme. 0ele*ision became an important part of m! life. / could hardl! wait to peer at the next episode of A8abian of the $ard%, on our tin! 14Cinch set, courtes! of +adio +entals. / would ha*e forfeited m! spending mone! rather than miss an! of the AJuartermass% series. / e*en curtailed m! weekl! *isits to the cinema from fi*e times to three in fa*our of the Abox%, as it was called.

$et it was a film 9shown in cinemas nationwide: that attracted me and other impressionable teenagers in their dro*es, not especiall! to see the film, but to hear the music that introduced it. We didn%t realise it at the time, but things would ne*er be <uite the same again.

Rock, Rock, Rock!

/n the earl! fifties, &undane songs assailed our ears. 8rom crooners like 5ing Crosb!, Jimm! !oung and .onald "eers. "err! Como, =era !nn, We heard them singing dail!. ,nd nothing had prepared us, 8or the music of 5ill Hale!. /n a film called A5lackboard Jungle%, /t came as <uite a shock. When Hale! and his comets, "la!ed A+ock around the clock%. +ock and roll exploded, With the impact of a bomb. ,nd shell shocked mums and dads, Cried out Awhere did that come fromB% ,nd then along came #l*is, 5udd! Holl!, Jerr! ee, ittle +ichard, &art! Wilde, 0omm! 6teele and 5obb! =ee. A/t%s *ulgarD% cried the clerics, 0o their attenti*e flock. A+ock and roll% is sinful, ,nd the kids ha*e run amok.

8or <uite a while, our distraught parents, Watched us with lips pursed. A/t won%t last long%, the! said, A$ou%ll see, the bubble%s bound to burst.% 5ut the music gained momentum, 0o our parents% great disma!. 3o longer seen and ne*er heard, 0he !oung ones now, would ha*e their sa!. ,s we bopped and >i*ed, from morn% till night, We expressed forthright opinions. 3o longer would we toe the line, @r bow and scrape like minions. 0hough our parents came to terms with it, ,nd let us ha*e our fling. 0he! still maintained that #l*is, Wasn%t half as good as 5ingD

Happ! da!sD / started m! working life as a painter and decorator%s apprentice. Ender the terms of m! emplo!ment, / had to spend three e*enings and one full da! each week at Huddersfield 0echnical College. /t was there H whilst / was being taught the finer points of m! chosen craft H that / came in contact with other !oungsters with whom / had lots in common. We were all fired up b! the new music that abounded. "re*ious generations of !outh had aspired to become facsimiles of their parents, but now we had new idols to emulate. 0he icons of pop influenced the wa! we talked, beha*ed and dressed. We couldn%t imagine #l*is or Cliff walking around in belted raincoats and wearing trilbies and we had no intention of doing so either. @ur mode of dress didn%t change o*ernight, much as we would ha*e liked it to ha*e done. &an! of us still wore a suit on 6unda!s, although we were <uick to discard the waistcoat and we stuck reluctantl! to sports coats and flannels for other less formal occasions. &! dad couldn%t understand it when / refused to wear a flat cap or trilb! and he thought / had taken lea*e of m! senses when he first saw me wearing tight black >eans and luminous socks. He was e*en more aghast when / did awa! with m! side parting and tried to culti*ate a <uiff. / clearl! remember standing in front of the bathroom mirror, where / tried to perfect the "resle! sneer until m! >aw ached. /n the end / admitted defeat and went out to bu! m!self another pair of luminous socks. Well / mean to sa!D / had to do something to show the world that / wasn%t a As<uare%. &! main aim, of course, was not to impress the world, but to impress the girls who inhabited it. / listened agog when m! friends at night school told me of their exploits. 0o hear them talk !ou would ha*e thought

that the! had in*ented sex. 0he! certainl! seemed to know all there was to know about it. 0he truth was slightl! different. /n the da!s before the Apill%, girls were reluctant to shed their inhibitions. 0he most the! would usuall! allow was a <uick fumble on the back row of the cinema. &ost of m! mates would ha*e run a mile if an!thing more had been offered and / was one of them. 0here were exceptions, of course. @ne of the trainee sign writers in our class had a shot gun wedding, on his sixteenth birthda!, and though afterwards he boasted of his *irilit!, we knew that he en*ied us our freedom. 8or m! own part H although / would ha*e died rather than admit it H / was content to ha*e a platonic relationship with the fair sex, without the complications. / learnt that it was possible to ha*e a meaningful relationship and still refrain from the ultimate sex act. When / was se*enteen, / met a girl called ,nne, who was in her final !ear at school. @ur friendship de*eloped and we went out together for three !ears, but for all that time / respected and upheld her *iews on preCmarital celibac!. 0hough as far as m! mates knew, we were at it like rabbits. Contrar! to what the modern generation ma! think we weren%t prudes. We were t!pical fifties% teenagers, innocent and nai*e ma!be, but fun lo*ing, sincere and full of hopes for the future.

Magic Teenage Days

-rowing up together, 0hrough those magic teenage da!s. Confiding fears and secret thoughts, "rogressing through each wondrous phase. We had no wa! of knowing, /t wouldn%t last for long. We li*ed >ust for each moment, What could possibl! go wrongB "la!ing tennis in the park, 6trolling through the glade. Happ! recollections, 0hat / know will ne*er fade. 0he films we saw and both en>o!ed, 0ro! .onahue in A"arish%. ,nd how !ou lo*ed A, Certain 6mile%, When sung b! Johnn! &athis. .ancing to the local band, ,t the *illage hop. ,nd the tears of laughter that !ou cried, When / tried to bop. 0he sermon in the chapel, We found so soporific. $our brother%s wrath, because we pla!ed, His disc of A6outh "acific%.

,s time went b! we grew apart, @ur li*es di*ersified. 5ut when the da! for parting came, We both broke down and cried. 0hroughout the !ears /%*e formed, 6o man! bonds and friendships true. 5ut when it comes right down to it, / owe it all to !ou. $ou taught me how to laugh and cr!, ife%s problems how to sol*e. 5ut last and most importantl!, $ou taught me how to lo*e. &an! !ears ha*e passed, 6ince we went our separate wa!s. 5ut fore*er /%ll be grateful, 8or those magic teenage da!s.

/ ha*en%t seen or been in contact with ,nne since the da! we parted. 6he will be in her earl! se*enties now. / >ust hope that her children had, and grandchildren ha*e, as much fun as we didD

An As ect o! Hu""ers!iel"
@nce the! realise that / ha*e li*ed near Huddersfield, man! people ask me about the monument on Castle Hill, which can be seen from >ust about e*er!where within a tenCmile radius. 5ecause of its location, the! assume that it is the remains of a medie*al castle. 0hough a castle probabl! did stand there at one time, the tower has no connections with an! such structure and has =ictorian origins. 5efore continuing with m! anecdotal ramblings, / will not onl! gi*e !ou a brief rundown on the histor! of the tower, / will also tell !ou how it can be seen from a certain angle to e*oke a rather weird illusion. Castle Hill can be approached *ia the *illages of ,lmondbur!, Honle!, 3ewsome or 8arnle! 0!as. /t is a popular picnic area with panoramic *iews and is well worth a *isit. 0he Jubilee H or to gi*e it its correct name, the =ictoria 0ower H was built b! a local firm of builders, using stone <uarried from nearb! Crosland &oor, at a cost of K),'92. /t stands 1(7 feet high and access to the top is possible from the interior stone staircase. 0he summit is 1,((( feet abo*e sea le*el. ,s its name suggests, the tower was opened in 1299 to commemorate Jueen =ictoria%s .iamond Jubilee. 0he #arl of 6carborough did the honours. /ncidentall!, it is claimed that if one were to fl! in a straight line due east from the top of the structure, contact with land wouldn%t be made until arri*ing in the Eral &ountains of +ussia. / rather doubt that the feat will e*er be attempted, although, the mind boggles at the thought.

@ne of the most intriguing features of the tower is its design. /t was onl! when / took a stroll towards Castle Hill one winter%s e*ening and saw the tower silhouetted against a moonlit sk!, that the reason for its unusual shape became apparent.

Victoria Tower
High lane runs from 3ewsome, Ep towards Hall 5ower. 8rom high lane on a moonlit night, ook towards the tower. =ictoria stands there, in her robes, &a>estic and serene. 0hough built from stone and motionless, 6he%s e*er! inch a <ueen. 6hould the tower be enchanted, ,nd her e!es of stone perused. 0he changes time has brought us, Would she be amusedB 6he%d ha*e seen the men of Huddersfield, 8ight in two world wars. ,nd the cars that used her highwa!s, &ultiplied b! scores. adies in her lifetime, Could dress well for a guinea. / wonder what she%d think then, @f the sixties and the miniB 6he%d remember great achie*ements, /n glorious da!s gone b!. 0hen perhaps she%d lift her head, 0o see the planes up in the sk!.

6he%d conclude that our people, Were moulded in the *ein @f architects and scholars, Who shone throughout her reign. ,s we head for !ear two thousand, @ur efforts ne*er cease. 6he%d know her countr!%s in good hands, ,nd once again turn into stone H to find eternal peace.

6ometimes, when / reflect on the last two *erses, / wonder in the light of recent e*ents and changes in attitude, if we are reall! the worth! trustees of posterit! that Jueen =ictoria would ha*e hoped forB

Trou#le an" Stri!e

5! the time ,nne and / had gone our separate wa!s, we were nicel! o*er the threshold of the swinging 9promiscuous: sixties. / felt that / had splashed about in the shallows for long enough, and was determined to practise m! breaststroke in deeper waters. / took the plunge with se*eral girls, most of whom were willing to help me impro*e m! techni<ue in an! wa! the! could. 0hen H toward the end of 197) H in a moment of sheer madness, / hurled m!self into the deep end and married a girl called Joan, who brought with her more baggage than the carousel at -atwick ,irport. /t wasn%t her fault. Joan had been orphaned at the impressionable age of thirteen, and had embarked on a long and illCfated relationship three !ears later. 0he traumas, resulting from her experiences, were to sta! with her for most of her life. / felt sorr! for her, and that was partl! the cause of m! trouble. / confused s!mpath! with something more, and to be honest, Joan deser*ed better. / think that if we had waited a while longer, before plunging into matrimon!, things could well ha*e been different. ,s it was H in the earl! !ears especiall! H we experienced more ups and downs than the "epsi &ax +ollercoaster, and / tried hard to establish some stabilit!. / hesitate to use the word schi4ophrenic, but to do so, would be to den! the truth. / felt that / was li*ing with two people. @ne minute Joan would be all sweetness and light, a >o! to be with, and the next, she would fl! into a rage o*er

something tri*ial, and all hell would break loose. Enfortunatel!, m! own short fuse didn%t help matters. /t was during one of our periods of relati*e calm, that our son, Charlie, was born and / resol*ed once again to tr! and create a more harmonious atmosphere, for all our sakes, especiall! our son%s. 6adl!, the rows continued, but mercifull! from an earl! age, Charlie seemed to adopt an air of detachment, whene*er his mum and / let off steam. / am pleased to sa!, that he came through his childhood apparentl! unscathed. 3e*ertheless, / still felt guilt! whene*er he was sub>ected to our uphea*als, and did m! best to make it up to him. Joan, too, shared m! concern H and she tried hard H and succeeded in being a good mum. 6he knew that she had problems and did her best to combat them, e*en to the point of consulting a ps!chiatrist H though for all the good he did H she might ha*e been better consulting the local *etD Holida!s were the best times. Joan abandoned all her cares whene*er we headed off to the seaside. 5oth Charlie and / ha*e good memories of such times.