Season 3 Episode 12 Return to the Beach House (Airs tonight!

) Hannah is reeling from finding Ray and Marnie in bed together. Ray is reeling from his inability to have sex in his own apartment without a maniac bursting in on him. Hannah, inconsolable, wanders out into the night, searching for answers. Ray goes to bed to get some well-deserved zzzzs cause he has a job, dammit! Marnie and Adam are left in the living room. They decide to have sex but Adam doesnt want to cheat on Hannah and needs to run his lines so insists on having sex with Marnie while hes in character as whoever the hell hes playing in Major Barbara. She goes along with it but in the middle gets a call from Desi that their triumphant open mic appearance has led to a worldwide open mic tour offer. She puts her clothes on and leaves. Adam continues to masturbate in character. Hannah becomes fixated on the beach house as the source of all the problems in her life. Everything was so great until they visited Marnies Moms beach house she still had a job and her boyfriend wasnt on Broadway and she didnt know Ray and Marnie were sleeping together. Theres something wrong in that beach house! She decides to visit Marnies Mom to get some answers. Meanwhile, Laird is walking by while Jessa is sitting on a stoop looking like a junkie and decides to help Jessa with her drug addiction. Jessa quickly gets him addicted to Yopo, an Amazonian psychedelic plant used in tribal rituals. The one dealer in New York of Yopo is, unfortunately, Adams sister, Caroline, who is completely irresponsible, not returning phone calls; missing drug drops, refusing to make change, etc. Instead of relying on her for their fix of tribal hallucinogenics Jessa and Laird decide to go to Brazil for authentic Ayahuasca, a more potent traditional brew of hallucinogenic plants. However, on the plane to Sao Paolo, Jessa turns to Laird, tells him she was never a real drug addict, just bored. Jessa opens the exit door and parachutes out and is not seen or heard from for 5 years when he runs into her at a farmers market in Hoboken as hes walking with his wife, Shoshanna, and their three kids. Marnies world open mic tour is going well. Shes been crushing on Desi the entire time, but copes by having a string of affairs with the heads of state in the countries they play in. She beds Senegalese president Macky Sall, Norways King Harald V and Barbados Prime Minister Freundel Stuart. A bad gig in East Timor that Desis girlfriend, Clementine, attends sends her reeling to the beds of both East Timorian President Taur Matan Ruak and Prime Minister Xanada Gusmo in a single night!1. But the real problems start in Hamburg where she finds that she is booked to play her song right before Ray and Charlie play theirs at the open mic. She demands that they open for her and is kicked out of the open mic by the MC for being a dick. This sends her crying straight into the arms of Angela Merkel. Hannah has tracked down Marnies Mom at Carhenge in Alliance, Nebraska and confronts her about the beach house. Marnies Mom confirms that the house has an evil history, but that she
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The 30 minute scene following Marnies hookups with these East Timor heads of state showing an awkward Parliamentary meeting the morning following showed both Dunhams keen understanding of both cringe-inducing humor and East Timorian politics. Its rare that one finds a show runner dedicated to showcasing the political situation in East Timor without pandering and simplifying for an American audience but Dunham not only has the courage to do an entire East Timorian parliamentary scene in Portuguese without subtitles but totally nails the humor and humanity of this tiny island nation. Scholars on the political history of East Timor will be rolling in the aisles and totally turned on.

and her coven have been working to dispel the black magic that surrounds it. She invites Hannah to join their coven and gives her a book of spells. Hannah goes off to the beach house to see if she can undo the problems the beach house has wrought or at least if she can find a spell that would make her forget about Marnie and Ray. However, while on the train she sees a spell to raise the dead and decides that best course of action would be to use the beach houses power to help her bring her dead editor, David Pressler-Goings, back so she can get her book deal going again. Marnies fling with Merkel has erupted in a storm of press coverage, who have dubbed the new couple Markel, which Marnie hates. She thinks about seducing Slovakian prime minister Robert Fico in the hope of promoting the name MarniFico! and perhaps distributing a new perfume with the same name to go along with it. Then Angela finds the youtube video of her singing What I Am and dumps her. Marnie returns to New York on the same plane as Ray and Charlie. They all sit together. They dont speak to her. She doesnt speak to them. Its awkward. Meanwhile Adam finishes up and goes to rehearsal. He finds out that Desi is on a world-wide open mic tour with Marnie and that the play has been cancelled. He immediately intuits that the beach house is evil and must be destroyed. He stops at home to grab some dynamite and take off his shirt and heads towards the Hamptons, shirtless. Hannah, now at the beach house lounging in nothing but a pair of sweatpants with bears on them is rereading the spell recipe, and realizes that she missed the part where she needs to sacrifice someone close to her to bring David back to life. What are the issues with killing one of her friends to get her book release date back? She decides to make a pro/con list. Laird awakens in Brooklyn. Jessa is there. It was all a hallucination! She didnt jump out of the plane. Hes not married to Shoshanna. They never even went to Brazil. Yopo is some potent stuff! He turns to Jessa, who tells him she was never a real drug addict, just bored. Then she leaves. Shoshanna cant study. Where is everyone? She sticks her head out of the window and looks down the street. She sees a strange glow to the far east and, as if in a trance, gets on the LIRR. During an hour of circling over JFK Marnie recognizes the pilots voice as that of Booth Jonathan. Glad to leave the awkward silence of her row she goes up to the cockpit where Booth Jonathan reminds her that hes a real man and crashes the plane to prove it. Everyone dies in the crash except Marnie and Ray. (Technically, Charlie survives the crash but is quickly devoured by a swarm of tiny sea turtles.) Marnie and Ray wash up in the Hamptons outside of the beach house. They have what they term as plane crash sex on the beach as Adam, Shoshanna and Jessa show up and watch. When theyre done, and agree that it didnt mean anything, it was just because, you know, they just almost died in a plane crash, they all go up to the house to surprise Hannah, who is again topless in the kitchen going over her pro/con list while Davids corpse lays in the hammock outside, waiting patiently for rebirth. Not having any useful insight in the pro/con list or related blog post she wrote about the who to kill problem, she asks them if any of them particularly want to die. All raise their hands except Adam, whose hands are laden with too much dynamite to raise, making it something of a moot point. Hannah apologizes for the inconvenience but she really needs this book deal to work out. and starts muttering incantations under her breath. The wind starts to pick up.

Suddenly theres a knock at the door. They open it and Elijah enters, goes to the table where theres a glass of wine. He takes a sip, turns to everyone, says Shalom and starts to leave. Hes tackled by Shoshanna, who ties him up for Hannah and declaims in an hour long, jittery monologue why hes the one they should kill. It totally brings the house down and everyone's really impressed with her rhetorical skills. Hannahs a little jealous and thinks maybe she should kill Shoshanna. Anyway, Hannah continues muttering the incantation figuring shell just figure it who to kill later or whatever. As an eerie light bathes the beach house and the wind starts to howl, her phone rings. Turns out its some other publisher guy who says he wants to put her book out. Shes all like, That is so great! and explains I totally dont have to kill a friend now! After hanging up she tells the gang that she totally never would have killed any of them just to reanimate her dead publisher. Hugs all around and everyone leaves the beach house and returns to NY. The last shot is of Davids corpse that was left in the hammock. His eyes snap open. Cut to black. Music: Raw Meat by The Black Lips. Roll end credits.