7 Simple Ways To Say No

Do you have difficulty saying no? Are you always trying to e nice to others at the e!pense of yourself? Well" you#re not alone$ %n the past" % was not good at saying no" ecause % didn#t want to hurt the other person#s feelings$ &or e!ample" whenever % get re'uests for help" % would attend to them even though % had important wor( to do$ Sometimes the re'uests would drag to )*+ hours or even eyond$ At the end of the day" % would forgo sleep to catch up on my wor($

After a while" % reali,ed all these times of not saying no -when % should. were not helping me at all$ % was spending a lot of time and energy for other people and not spending nearly as much time for myself$ %t was frustrating especially since % rought it upon myself$ % slowly reali,ed if % wanted personal time" % needed to learn to say no$

Why We &ind %t /ard To Say No

To learn to say No" we have to first understand what#s resisting us a out it$ 0elow are common reasons why people find it hard to say no1 2$ You want to help$ 3ou are a (ind soul at heart$ 3ou don#t want to turn the person away and you want to help where possi le" even if it may eat into your time$ )$ Afraid of being rude$ % was rought up under the notion that saying No"

especially to people who are more senior" is rude$ This thin(ing is common in Asia culture" where face*saving is important$ &ace*saving means not ma(ing others loo( ad$ +$ Wanting to be agreeable$ 3ou don#t want to alienate yourself from the group ecause you#re not in agreement$ So you confirm to others# re'uests$ Fear of conflict$ 3ou are afraid the person might e angry if you re5ect him6her$ This might lead to an ugly confrontation$ 7ven if there isn#t" there might e dissent created which might lead to negative conse'uences in the future$ :$

department in her company$ Since she li(ed her team" she didn#t want to shift$ /owever" she didn#t want to say no as she felt it would affect her promotion opportunities in the future$ Not burning bridges$ Some people ta(e no as a sign of re5ection$ %t might lead to ridges eing urned and relationships severed$

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Fear of lost opportunities$ 9erhaps you are worried saying no means closing doors$ &or e!ample" one of my clients# wife was as(ed to transfer to another

%f you nodded to any of the reasons" %#m with you$ They applied to me at one point or another$ /owever" in my e!perience dealing with people at wor( and in life" % reali,ed these reasons are more misconceptions than anything$ Saying No doesn#t mean you are eing rude; neither does it mean you are eing disagreea le$ Saying No doesn#t mean there will e conflict nor that you#ll lose opportunities in the future$ And saying no most definitely doesn#t mean you#re urning ridges$ These are all false eliefs in our mind$ At the end of the day" it#s a out how you say no" rather than the fact you#re saying no" that affects the outcome$ After all" you have your own priorities and needs" 5ust li(e everyone has his6her own needs$ Saying no is a out respecting and valuing your

time and space$ Say no is your prerogative$

7 Simple Ways To Say No

<ather than avoid it altogether" it#s all a out learning the right way to say no$ After % egan to say no to others" % reali,ed it#s really not as ad as % thought$ The other people were very understanding and didn#t put up any resistance$ <eally" the fears of saying no are 5ust in our mind$ %f you are not sure how to do so" here are 7 simple ways for you to say no$ =se the method that est meets your needs in the situation$ 1. I cant commit to this as I have other priorities at the moment. %f you are too usy to engage in the re'uest6offer" this will e applica le$ This lets the person (now your plate is full

at the moment" so he6she should hold off on this as well as future re'uests$ %f it ma(es it easier" you can also share what you#re wor(ing on so the person can understand etter$ % use this when % have too many commitments to attend to$ !. Nows not a good time as Im in the middle of something. "ow about we reconnect at # time$ %t#s common to get sudden re'uests for help when you are in the middle of something$ Sometimes % get phone calls from friends or associates when %#m in a meeting or doing important wor($ This method is a great way to -temporarily. hold off the re'uest$ &irst" you let the person (now it#s not a good time as you are doing something$ Secondly" you ma(e (nown your desire to help y suggesting another time -at your convenience.$ This way" the person doesn#t feel lown off$

%. Id love to do this& but ' % often use this as it#s a gentle way of rea(ing no to the other party$ %t#s encouraging as it lets the person (now you li(e the idea -of course" only say this if you do li(e it. and there#s nothing wrong a out it$ % often get colla oration proposals from fellow loggers and usiness associates which % can#t participate in and % use this method to gently say no$ Their ideas are a solutely great" ut % can#t ta(e part due to other reasons such as prior commitments ->2. or different needs ->8.$ (. )et me thin* about it first and Ill get bac* to +ou. This is more li(e a ?ay e than a straight out No$ %f you are interested ut you don#t want to say @yes# 5ust yet" use this$ Sometimes %#m pitched a great idea which meets my needs" ut % want to

hold off on committing as % want some time to thin( first$ There are times when new considerations pop in and % want to e certain of the decision efore committing myself$ %f the person is sincere a out the re'uest" he6she will e more than happy to wait a short while$ Specify a date 6 time*range -say" in 2*) wee(s. where the person can e!pect a reply$ %f you#re not interested in what the person has to offer at all" don#t lead him6her on$ =se methods >8" >: or >7 which are definitive$ ,. -his doesnt meet m+ needs now but Ill be sure to *eep +ou in mind. %f someone is pitching a deal6opportunity which isn#t what you are loo(ing for" let him6her (now straight*out that it doesn#t meet your needs$ Atherwise" the discussion can drag on longer than it should$ %t helps as the person (now it#s nothing wrong a out what

he6she is offering" ut that you are loo(ing for something else$ At the same time" y saying you#ll (eep him6her in mind" it signals you are open to future opportunities$ .. Im not the best person to help on this. Wh+ dont +ou tr+ #$ %f you are eing as(ed for help in something which you -i. can#t contri ute much to -ii. don#t have resources to help" let it e (nown they are loo(ing at the wrong person$ %f possi le" refer them to a lead they can follow*up on B whether it#s someone you (now" someone who might (now someone else" or even a department$ % always ma(e it a point to offer an alternate contact so the person doesn#t end up in a dead end$ This way you help steer the person in the right place$ /. No& I cant. The simplest and most direct way to say no$ We uild up too many arriers in our mind

to saying no$ As % shared earlier in this article" these arriers are self*created and they are not true at all$ Don#t thin( so much a out saying no and 5ust say it outright$ 3ou#ll e surprised when the reception isn#t half as ad as what you imagined it to e$ Cearn to say no to re'uests that don#t meet your needs" and once you do that you#ll find how easy it actually is$ 3ou#ll get more time for yourself" your wor( and things that are most important to you$ % (now % do and %#m happy % started doing that$