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Jesus!
A burglar has just made it into the house he's intending ransacking, and he's looking around for stuff to steal. All of a sudden, a little voice pipes up, "I can see you, and so can Jesus!" Startled, the burglar looks around the room. No one there at all, so he goes back to his business. "I can see you, and so can Jesus!" The burglar jumps again, and takes a longer look around the room. Over in the corner by the window, almost obscured by curtains, is a cage in which sits a parrot, who pipes up again, "I can see you, and so can Jesus!" "So what," says the burglar, "you're only a parrot!" To which the parrot replies, "Maybe, but Jesus is a Rottweiler!"
By Anastasia BOGUSLAVSKA
"Please don't speak so loudly, madam," said the waiter, "or everyone will want one."
By Sabina SANGOVA
THE BOSS
One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, ''How much is the red one?'' The assistant says, ''$2000.'' The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it's so expensive. The assistant explains, ''This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast.'' ''What about the green one?'' the man asks. The assistant says, ''He costs $5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and take notes.'' ''What about the blue one?'' the man asks. The assistant says, ''That one's $10,000.'' The man says, ''What does HE do?'' The assistant says, ''I don't know, probably nothing, but the other two call him BOSS.''
By Anastasia BOGUSLAVSKA
NOT A FOOL,
PRESS F13.
By Editor-in-Chief
bastard
By Olena POLOVKO
By Oleksandra MARTYNOVA
By Olena STURBA
Ashes
By Kate BILYK
English/Irish???
An Englishman wanted to become an Irishman, so he visited a doctor to find out how to go about this. Well said the doctor, this is a very delicate operation and there is a lot that can go wrong. I will have to remove half your brain. Thats OK said the Englishman. Ive always wanted to be Irish and Im prepared to take the risk. The operation went ahead but the Englishman woke to find a look of horror on the face of the doctor. Im so terribly sorry!! the doctor said. Instead of removing half the brain, Ive taken the whole brain out. The patient replied, No worries, mate!!