Bella Swan's Dating Guide by Pears13

A Twilight Fan Fiction Story

Summary: Bella Swan is very particular of who she dates, from the way he blows his nose down to the size of his shoes. When Edward Cullen doesn't measure up to her set of rules, how will the two of them manage the connection between them and the secret Edward is hiding? AU/AH E/B Canon Pairings

Chapter One Guideline 43

Guideline 43: A gentleman does not try to meet a girl by sending her a drink from across the bar. If you have not been introduced previously, do not accept the drink and do not acknowledge the man.

The weather was getting cooler, so I grabbed my black leather jacket and threw it on as I locked the door behind me. My roommate, and good friend, Rosalie would be meeting me at the bar along with my other good friend, Alice, and a couple other girls, Angela and Jessica. The five of us had become quite the little clique over the past few years since living in the dorms together freshman year of college. I had originally roomed with Alice and Rosalie with Jessica, while Angela had a single room next to us. Oh, how times change.

Smiling from the wonderful memories of our college days, I braced myself against the cool night and slight drizzle, walking comfortably in my pumps. That's right; Isabella Swan was wearing pumps and she loved it. Not only was I wearing a shoe that might very easily get me blackballed from my group of friends, but I also wore a pair of jeans and a long-sleeved, v-neck, blue cashmere sweater. At least it was cashmere so Alice wouldn't be able to harass me too badly.

This wasn't the way I dressed when normally going out. I'd usually dress to impress the boys. It had been a long four years of trials and tribulationsto get all dramatic in the way of the religiousbut I had finally been convinced, in my third year of college, that there was no such thing as destiny. Yeah, I'd heard the romantic musings of true love and other halves, souls that were meant to be together, and for a time, I believed it all.

For many years I looked at each day as if it could be the day I would meet him; my soul mate; the man I'd been pining away for since I was five; the man I dreamed of in high school as I read Pride and Prejudice; my very own Mr. Darcy. I had believed there was one person meant just for me and once we found each other, we'd live happily ever after full of some magical love only read about in fairy tales and romance novels.

I stopped abruptly as the feeling of complete emptiness overwhelmed me. The blue and white lights of the neon sign for Midnight Sun loomed only two blocks away, yet I couldn't bring my

feet to continue on. It took me three years after meeting Alice and Rose to give up on true love and here I was four years later, still lonely and unhappy. Actually, I was more unhappy than I had been back then. At least back then I had true love to look forward to. Now all I had was, well, I had my friends and the thought of someday having a family with some guy that could make me somewhat happy. The Mr. Darcy in my mind never existed and never would exist. I just wished my heart would catch up to my brain and give up on the whole idea.

Swallowing the lump that formed in my throatwhich always formed when I thought of Mr. Darcy or Pride and Prejudice nowI bravely took a step toward the bar, gaining confidence as I got closer and closer to my friends. Tonight was all about having fun.

It was loud, dark, and crowded in Midnight Sun and the smell of stale beer and a plethora of perfumes engulfed me as I pushed my way through the crowd, looking for my friends. This was our watering hole; the place we came to in order to sit back and relax and I knew just where

they'd be; our table. Just as I'd expected, they were there, only there were more people than normal sitting in our spot, not leaving any open chair for me to sit in.

"Hey girls," I said before bending over and giving an exuberant Alice a hug as she jumped up to greet me.

"Bella!" Despite her small frame and frail-looking body, she squeezed quite hard. "You have to meet my brother, Edward." Her small hand brushed away from my waist, coming to point in the direction of a man with wild, yet sexy, auburn hair sitting in the seat next to hers. "Edward, this is my good friend, Bella."

His eyes caught mine and I struggled to find my words. I'd seen pictures of Alice's brother Edward many times. I'd even fantasized about him in a dream or two, but nothing could ever have prepared me for the gorgeous man who was now standing with his hand outstretched. I slowly lifted my hand to grasp his. Inside, my mind made note of his firm shake and I opened my

mouth to speak. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Edward." His hand lingered over mine and he seemed hesitant to let goas was Ibut he finally did.

His cheeks turned a faint shade of red. "I've heard a lot about you," he said with an impish smile. I remembered his smile from Alice's pictures. If I remembered correctly, he had quite a few different smiles and each one had done a number on me just from pictures alone. To have him in the flesh, right before my eyes, smiling like that, practically did me in.

"All good, I hope." Before I could continue on in conversation with the divinely handsome Edward, Alice pulled me over to another man with short black hair that looked as if it would be curly if he grew it long.

"Bella, this is Edward's friend, Emmett. Emmett, this is Bella."

When Emmett turned to greet me, I was taken back by his adorable cheeks with the deepest dimples I'd ever seen. He stood and shook my hand and I immediately felt like an ant. His

presence was commanding with his broad shoulders and slim waist. "It's a pleasure," I said and he chuckled before turning his attention back to Rose who now stood to give me a hug.

"We didn't think you were going to make it," she whispered in my ear. "I was getting ready to come get you."

"I ended up working late, but I'm here now." I had no excuse really, considering I worked from home most of the time.

"Oh," she said, pulling back a bit. "Angela brought Ben with her." She then turned toward our friend and motioned to a guy who was a bit chubby, but still cute in a geeky kind of way. He had black straight hair that clung to his head and he looked extremely uncomfortable. "Ben," Rose said rather loudly, "this is our friend, Bella." "Hi," he said quietly, with a tip of his head in acknowledgment.

"Hey." I lifted my head in reply and then walked over to Angela and wrapped my arms around

her. "He's cute," I whispered in her ear and she giggled. Out of our group of five, Angela was quiet and shy, the one I was most similar to. It was Alice and Rose who brought out my spunky side, which was probably why I was closest to them.

When I went to greet the last person at the table, I felt an immediate jolt of rage. Jessica was sitting next to Alice's brother, Edward, leaning in toward him and showing off her ample cleavage. In our little circle, it was always about the early bird and unfortunately I wasn't early this evening.

"So?" I asked as I sat in a seat that Emmett graciously stole for me from two tables away. "How long are you two in town?" My eyes fought hard to stay on Emmett's, but I couldn't help but chance a peek at Edward's too.

"Indefinitely." Emmett sounded so matter-of-fact that I did a double take and then glared at Edward.

"Really? You two are moving here?" I focused on Edward's deep green eyes and couldn't help but feel he was holding something back. They were warm and friendly, but something nagged at the back of my mind. He seemed reserved or afraid to share something, but he also seemed uncomfortable about it, as if he were struggling against something.

"Have moved here," Emmett said, and I pulled my eyes away from Edward's to look back at him.

"How come you never said anything Alice?" Didn't she know something like this was a big deal?

"I didn't know," Alice said. "I got a call two days ago that they were coming to town but it wasn't until they arrived this morning that they told me they were moving here."

"Let me guess, someone's after you two?"

Emmett started laughing, his arm not-so-discreetly finding its place around the back of Rose's

chair and Edward paled. "Um, no," Edward said uncomfortably. "We just"

"Eddie had a difference of opinion with one of the partners." Emmett's hand was now resting comfortably over Rose's shoulders and I smiled at her, which caused her to roll her eyes at me.

That reminded me of Edward's occupation. Alice had been so proud of her big brother when he passed the bar. "So you just up and left? Why not find a new job there? Why move all the way out here?" I was being nosey, but I was intrigued. What kind of person just picked up and left everything behind over a dispute with their boss?

Edward shrugged and his face hardened, almost like a door had been shut, closing me off. His green eyes were now cold and his lips were drawn into a hard line. "I wanted to move closer to home."

That's when I noticed his voice. I had been so mesmerized by his beauty and green eyes that I

didn't realize how smooth and silky his voice had sounded before I offended him. Now his voice was cold and a bit raspy. Luckily, our waitress, Sandy, stopped by.

"Another round?" Sandy asked as she picked up the two empty pitchers on the table. "A glass for you?" she asked me with a friendly smile. She was wearing an extremely tight, red, scoop-neck t-shirt that showed off copious amounts of cleavageeven more than Jessica and that was saying a lotand her midriff was bare, exposing her hard abs and cute little bellybutton above a tight pair of black jeans.

"Yes, please," I said.

She walked over behind Edward and motioned to his nearempty mug. "Would you like another?"

I had to hand it to Edward. He didn't once ogle her or let his eyes linger over her exposed flesh for one second. "Yes, please," he replied and the way he spoke made me feel as if he was

mocking me, but I let it slide.

While Edward spoke to Sandy, I looked over to Ben to see where his eyes were focused. This was just the way we were with each other. Any time one of us brought a boy out to meet the rest of the group, we sized him up and watched for any reason to deem the poor sod unworthy. Ben's eyes were staring straight into Angela's, his entire body language showing he was only interested in her. Score one for Ben. Smiling, I then turned my eyes to Emmett and watched him and Rose whispering together.

"Ooh, Bella," Jessica said from my left, "green hat, eleven o'clock."

On instinct, I lifted my eyes a little to the left and noticed a good looking man in a Mariners hat looking right at me. He winked when I made eye contact and I turned to look at Jess. "Eight," I said with a shrug.

"Really? How can you tell?" Jessica looked up at him and scrunched her eyes togetherto focus,

I assumed.

"Right behind him is that guy you dated for a few weeks . . . what's his name again? Elton or something?"

"Alvin."

"Who's this?" Alice asked, leaning over the table. "Which one?"

"Green hat," Jessica said. "He was making eyes at Bella, but she said number eight." Alice turned her head to find the guy we were talking about. "Oh yeah, definitely eight. The Chipmunk guy is right behind him, they're practically the same height. Right Rose?"

"Huh?" Rose asked, her head jerking up to look at us.

I glanced over to Edward as Jessica and Alice explained to Rose who we were all looking at and he was glaring at me. His green eyes were warm again, but they seemed a bit confused as the

piece of flesh between his brows was puckered up. I took some time to take in the rest of his features, gulping as I followed the contours of his cheeks with my eyes, down to his strong chin and alluring neck. I'd never before looked at a man's neck and almost melted as I was doing so now.

"Bella," Alice said, bringing me out of my appraisal of Edward. "He's talking to the waitress about you."

"What?" My head snapped up to look at him again and he was, in fact, talking to Sandy and motioning over to our table. "He could be talking about any one of us."

"We'll see," Rose said with a smirk.

"Will someone please tell me what's going on and what 'eight' means?" Emmett looked so frustrated over by Rose. He kept turning his head in the direction we looked, then back at us, shaking his head as if he didn't get it.

"Bella has a list of rules" Rose said, but I interrupted.

"Guidelines, Rose, not rules."

"Guidelines, rules, whatever" She waved her hand in my direction to shut me up. "Either way, she has these rules that the guys she dates must meet."

"What kind of rules?" Edward asked with one eyebrow cocked.

Alice laughed. "Anything you could possibly think of. She won't date men over 6-3 or under 5-11that's rule number eight, which is why she would never date the man in the green hat."

"Really? He doesn't look very tall," Emmett said, staring at the man.

"Exactly," I said. "He's definitely under 5-11"

"She won't date bankers," Jessica said smugly, "or musicians."

"What constitutes a musician?" Emmett asked.

"Someone who plays regular gigs. I dated a guy once who had groupies, it was horrible." I shuddered as I remembered Dave. He was definitely good looking, but having to fight for time with him and finding panties in his jacket pockets wasn't on my list of good boyfriend material.

"Why not bankers?" Edward asked and when I turned to look at him, a huge weight settled in my stomach, making me feel nauseous. He looked even harsher than he had earlier and it seemed as if he directed his anger at me.

"They're too stuffy," I replied quickly before letting my eyes roam around the crowd surrounding us. I didn't want to see the judgment in Edward's eyes. That was exactly what he was doing to me, I just knew it. He was judging me. Why would something like this bother him? So I had standardsdidn't everyone?

"Oh, I think my favorite is the IQ test." Rose started laughing and I rolled my eyes.

"IQ test?" Edward asked and I forced myself to not look at him.

"Yeah, somehow she manages to get the guys she dates to take an IQ test. I don't know how she does ithow do you do it?" Rose turned her attention to me.

"I don't make them take it. I simply tell them about it and ask if they want to take it with me."

"What happens if they fail?" Emmett leaned forward in his seat, his dimples even deeper than they had been when I arrived. He was absolutely adorable. I imagined beautiful, dimpled, young blonde girls running around in a yard with Emmett and Rose pushing them in the swings and tickling them down to the grassy ground. They'd make some really cute kids together.

"There's no failing an IQ test," I stated. "We take it and then discuss the results."

"What is your cut-off again? I forget." Angela finally spoke up. Even she couldn't help but get a dig in on me.

"115." The number came out of my mouth so tersely that it almost sounded like a growl.

"One hundred fifteen?" Edward asked and I finally turned to look at him again. His eyes were even wider still.

"Yes, one hundred fifteen. Is that okay with you?" I darted my eyes to everyone around the table but was interrupted by Sandy before I could finish what I wanted to say.

"Here you guys go," she said, placing two pitchers down on the table and an extra mug for me. "And here's yours," she said to Edward, placing his special beer in front of him. There was one more drink on her tray and she walked over to me slowly. "Okay Bella," she said, placing the pink liquid in front of me. "The man over there in the green hat ordered this for you." She turned

to motion to the guy we'd all just moments before been staring at.

"Forty-three," I mumbled as I grabbed a napkin from Sandy's hand. "Here," Alice said, handing me a pen.

It wasn't like I didn't accept drinks from men; I just didn't accept them from strangers; especially when the stranger ordered me a Sex on the Beach. What exactly was he trying to say? If he really wanted to get to know me, he could've done any number of things, but ordering me a drink with a sexual connotation wouldn't cut it.

To the man in the green hat ~

Thank you very much for the drink, but in the future, if you want to get to know someone, walk up to them and say, 'hi.' No self respecting woman is going to accept a Sex on the Beach from a stranger across the bar.

With the note written, I handed it to Sandyalong with the drinkand kept my eyes down, not wanting to get caught in the man-in-the-green-hat's gaze. "Thanks Sandy," I mumbled.

"Ow, that's cold," Emmett said solemnly and my head shot up.

"Really? Do you have any sisters?"

"No, I'm an only child."

"Okay, then I'll ask you, Edward," I said, turning my piercing gaze on him. "Would you want Alice to accept a sexually charged drink from a stranger?"

"Sexually charged?" he asked with a grimace. "It was just a drink."

"Why would a man order a woman he doesn't know a Sex on the Beach? What was he trying to get across? If he only wanted to get to know me, then maybe ordering another round of what I was already drinking would've sufficed."

"You weren't drinking anything."

He had me there. I hadn't gotten a mug from Sandy yet so was still without a drink until she came over. "It doesn't matter. He could clearly see that everyone at the table was drinking beer. Besides, buying me a drink isn't going to get me to want to talk to him; it would make me feel obligated to talk to him. Is that what men really want; women who feel obligated to talk to them because they bought them a drink?"

"Maybe he doesn't care if you feel obligated or not," Emmett said. "Maybe his whole purpose wasn't to get to know you but" He suddenly stopped, realizing where he was going.

"Exactly," I said, victorious.

It got eerily quiet at the table so I poured myself a glass of beer and started to drink. I didn't try to get in on any of the whispered, private conversations around me, I was too mad to try and talk.

Instead, I stared out at the crowd, not really seeing anyone, only getting lost in the blur of bodies that moved from here to there and back again. Rose and Emmett were talking about my guidelines and Angela and Ben got up to move to the dance floor. Emmett and Rose soon followed, along with Alice who found a guy she'd been crushing on for weeks, leaving me with Jessica and Edward.

Jessica was leaning into him, touching him at any chance she could, and leaning over as much as possible to showcase her 'goods'. It was too sickening to be privy to, so I got up and went to the bathroom. I ran into a friend from work and stopped to chat with her and her boyfriend for a few minutes, constantly keeping an eye on our table, watching, but hoping not to see anything more blossom between Edward and Jessica. I couldn't understand the way he made me feel. One moment he angered me, making me want to throw a shoe at him and the next, I was jealous of his attention toward Jessica.

It was an hour or so later when I realized that Angela, Ben, Rose, and Alice were the only ones at our table, so I excused myself from the people I'd been chatting with and made my way back. The pitchers were empty and since I didn't want to sit around and wait for Sandy, I took them up to the bar.

By the time I fought my way to the front of the bar, I heard the sweet voice of Emmett and I turned to say hi, but stopped abruptly when I caught the gist of his conversation and whom he was speaking to.

"Come on, Edward, there are tons of pretty girls here tonight," Emmett said. Both of them were leaning their backs up against the bar, their eyes facing the crowded dance floor.

"Will you stop, Emmett? I don't need you to set me up with anyone." Edward sounded annoyed.

"I know what's got your panties all in a knot." Emmett laughed as he clapped his hand hard on Edward's back. "She's got gorgeous eyes."

"Just stop. I don't . . . I'm not . . . you know I can't get into anything right now."

"I don't know anything," Emmett said. "The last I checked, you were a free man and she's totally hot, dude. You'd have to be blind to not want to go for her."

My heart sank as I realized Emmett was trying to get Edward to go for Jessica. In the back of my mind I was holding onto the notion that Edward and I had some sort of connection between us. We didn't talk much and when we did, we seemed to argue or get mad at one another, but there seemed to be a spark amidst our wordsmaybe it was the alcohol.

"Are you serious? The girl's got a list of standards I'd have to stand up to just to get a first date. You heard Alice, she said she rarely goes on first dates anymore and it's even rarer for her to go on a second or third, let alone fourth." Standards? Jessica didn't have standards. She slept with anything that gave her attention, which were usually the men I turned down.

"So she's choosy, who isn't? We all have standards for the people we date"

"But we don't write them down in some sort of dating bible."

"Maybe she has a bad memory," Emmett said with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Maybe she's a bitter, scorned woman who has it out for all men."

Emmett laughed, not taking Edward serious. "Whoa, wait a minute," he said when Edward didn't join in, "you're not joking."

"No, I'm not joking. Has it occurred to you that maybe Bella isn't the one turning all these men down? Maybe she's the one who keeps getting dumped."

Did he actually just say that? Who did he think he was? Bile rose in my throat and heat scorched my skin, the tips of my fingers tingling with rage.

"Then why the list? That doesn't make sense," Emmett said.

"No?" Edward sounded so cocky. "The list is her way of dealing with her bitterness. Instead of owning up to being dumped all the time to her friends and trying to fix whatever is wrong with her, she started a list of reasons why she dumped the guys. Look at the rules we know about," Edward said. "The guys have to be a certain height? Since when is that a major issue? She can't be a hair over 5-5 and anything lower than 5-11 is too short? And what about her IQ rule? Who in their right mind makes someone take an IQ test in order to see if they're date worthy?"

"It does sound extreme." Emmett was buying into Edward's insanity.

"Something's not right with that girl," Edward said, "and you won't catch me scratching up that tree."

"Bella!" Jessica excitedly pushed her way toward me and I watched as both Emmett and Edward

turned in her direction, then toward me, their jaws dropping down and eyes wide. "Bella, I've been looking all over for you."

"I was getting the pitchers filled." I kept my eyes on Jessica, afraid of the tears that loomed at the backs of my eyes, stinging as they fought their way to the front.

"Are you okay?" Jessica placed an arm on my shoulder. "Are you crying?"

I wiped at my eyes, cursing myself for not having tougher skin. "I'm fine. Someone's wearing a pungent perfume." "Oh, I think I smelled that earliermade my eyes water."

"Exactly," I said as the bartender placed our two full pitchers in front of me. "Here." I handed one to Jessica and then followed behind her, not giving into the urge to look in Edward and Emmett's direction.

Just as I took a step away, Emmett was by my side. "Bella, I, um, I, uh"

"Don't," I said. "Please just leave me be."

"I don't know what to say."

Lifting my head, I looked into his eyes. He looked extremely apologetic and I smiled softly up at him. "I think your friend said enough." I looked over his shoulder and locked eyes with a scowling Edward. He obviously didn't feel any remorse for his words. I took a step and Emmett stopped me again.

"Bella"

I turned to face him, the beer splashing against the rim of the pitcher, droplets flying onto my sweater. "Surely you don't have to apologize for your friend?"

"Um" He looked back at Edward and then at me. "No, I guess not."

"And you didn't say anything to need forgiveness." I shrugged.

"So we're good?" he asked expectantly.

"Yes, we're good. Now go find Rose. I'm sure she's sulking in a corner somewhere wondering where you are."

"I doubt that."

"You're right. She's probably on the dance floor with three different men at once. You snooze, you lose." He looked worried and I laughed. "Go find her."

He ran off after a quick wink at me and I watched his back until he was lost in the crowd. I looked up to find Edward still glaring at me and I fought the urge to glower at him before turning on my heels and walking to the table. He could say anything he wanted about me. I knew the truth and that was all that mattered.

Chapter Two Guideline 46

Guideline 46: Any man who doesn't treat meor any women he encountersas a gentleman is no man to even think of having a relationship withdump him!

"Edward!"

I turned over on the too-soft mattress of the guest bed I'd been sleeping on for the past two weeks and covered my head with a pillow. My little sister was having friends over tonight and I wasn't so sure I wanted to join in the fun. Ever since meeting her girlfriends at the bar my first weekend back in Seattle, I'd had the unfortunate pleasure of being forced to spend more time with the one named Jessica. She was all right in small doses, but much too annoying to even consider spending any length of time with.

Alice's other friends, Rosalie and Angela, would be coming over as wellfrom what the half-pint had said earlierbut she didn't mention the one I actually wanted to see again. Actually, Alice made no mention of her at all over the past two weeks, which was strange because my little sister had always been one to try and set me up with her friendswhy hadn't she done so this time? Unlessoh, the nerve of that woman. Did she actually think I was interested in Jessica? Any man with half a brain could tell the girl had been around the block and then some; she was your basic neighborhood slut sleeping with anything that had a dick.

"Edward!" Alice yelled, banging her fist on the closed door to the guest bedroom. "People are going to arrive soon."

Groaning, I turned onto my back and exhaled heavily. "I'll be right out."

Ten minutes later, I was sitting on the couch reading one of the books I'd found on Alice's

bookshelf. I'd been meaning to pick it up at the store, along with the other two books in the series, but hadn't gotten around to it yet.

"I can't believe you're still reading that book," Alice said with a smirk and I rolled my eyes, not giving her any form of verbal response as I continued to read. "You're putting it away when the first guest arrives." Her foot was tapping on the hardwood floor, her hands on her hips.

"No problem, half-pint."

"And don't call me that in front of my friends." Her cheeks were turning red, but not from embarrassmentAlice was mad. "Emmett left at least a half an hour ago to get Rose, they'll be here soon."

"I promise to put my book away like a good little boy and be the perfect gentleman all night." That wasn't true. I'd pull the book out if I got bored.

The front door to Alice's apartment started to open and we both turned our heads in its direction to see Emmett and Rosalie stroll in with a case of beer and a couple of brown bags. "Where's the music?" Rose asked, ignoring my presence. It seemed the only one of Alice's friends who could actually stand me was Jessica.

I stood from the couch, laying my book on the coffee table and Rosalie glanced at the title, then at me with a cocked brow. "What?" I asked, walking over to the stereo system.

"Vampires? You don't strike me as the type."

"Eddie-boy can't get enough of that book," Emmett said, coming over to take my iPod out of my hand, giving me his instead. "My music is more what they have in mind." He put my iPod down and then chuckled and I shook my head, cursing him under my breath.

Rosalie had disappeared, probably into the kitchen, and Emmett and I sat down with our beers,

listening to the pounding beat of his dark music. I normally got a headache listening to his stuff, so didn't think I'd last too long. "Oh, I invited our real estate agent," Emmett said, as if it were a normal, every day occurrence to do so.

"Why the hell would you go and do that?"

"I don't know, he seemed kind of lonely."

My eyebrows raised in disbelief. "What are you, some kind of pansy?"

"Don't you ever think of other people?"

"What's wrong?" Rosalie asked, coming to sit on Emmett's lap. In the past two weeks since we'd met Alice's friends, Emmett and Rosalie had spent a lot of time together. There was an immediate connection between the two and to be honest, I was a bit disgruntled about it. We had moved here together to start our own firm and he'd already stood me up twice for things dealing

with our new venture, instead spending time with Rosalie. At least he finished everything to become licensed in the State of Washingtonas of yesterday we were both now officialthank God for reciprocity agreements.

"Your boyfriend here has a soft heart and invited our realtor to our little get-together."

"You what?" Rose turned a stunningly furious visage to Emmett and he practically whimpered as he explained that our realtor was a man.

"He's a he, Rose, God! Edward, that wasn't funny."

Rose hadn't yet settled herself down. "You take pleasure in upsetting people." She didn't ask, rather told me and I shrugged my shoulders. Let her believe what she wanted.

"Maybe." She wouldn't stop glaring at me and I was starting to feel very uncomfortable so I went into the kitchen seeking the comfort of half-pint.

"Please tell me you're going to behave yourself. The last time you were around all my girlfriends, Bella didn't talk to me for three days." She waved a knife in front of my face. "Three days, Edward. My best friend didn't want to talk to me because of something you said or did . . . what did you do?"

I shrugged and made my best faux-shocked expression. "I don't know. I barely spoke all but two words to the girl."

"I'll have my eyes on you tonight." Her knife was still held out toward my face.

"Whatever, it's not like she's going to be here."

"Actually," Alice said, going back to chopping up some green peppersshe was making a vegetable tray. "Bella said she might come after her date."

"She has a date?" It didn't come out as smooth as I'd hoped for it to. There was no reason for me

to want to see Bella again, but I did. Even if I did find her to be an embittered bitch, she was very nice to look at with beautiful brown eyes and a gorgeous smile.

Alice turned to glare at me, her mouth hanging open as if she were going to say something, and then she closed it and continued her chopping. "Yeah, it's a second date actually."

"Wow, the infamous rule maker actually made it to a second date. I'm surprised she didn't find his eye color offensive." I reached over and stole a piece of green pepper and popped it into my mouth.

"Get out of my kitchen before I call Mom."

"You wouldn't dare." This was a game between usshe always threatened to call Mom. Only sometimes she actually followed through, which only annoyed me because I'd then have to sit and listen to my Mom lecture me about how to treat a lady.

"Oh yeah? Mom told me that if you bothered me to just call her and she'd put you in your place."

"Get over it, short-stuff, I'm her favorite." I popped another pepper in my mouth and then ran out of the kitchen to escape her wrath. Moving back to Washington was the best decision I'd ever made. How I managed to live without my sister close by all those years baffled me; I wasn't myself without her.

Angela and her guy, Ben, were in the living room, sitting on the couch when I returned, with Jessica sitting on the floor, looking through a photo album. "Edward!" she squealed when she noticed me. "I was just looking at baby pictures of you."

I should never have kissed her last week. Never mess with your sister's friends, had been my motto all through high school. "Hey, Jess," I said as indifferent as I could before sitting down next to Angela on the couch. It was a tight fit, but much better than the alternative of being on the floor with Jessica. That girl was liable to maul me if she got close enough.

"You were so cute as a baby." Jessica continued to look through old photos and I was at least grateful the album kept her attention away from me for the time being.

The doorbell rang and I happily got up to answer it, finding Jasper Whitlock, mine and Emmett's realtor, on the other side of the door. "Hey Jasper," I said, motioning him inside. "Emmett told me he invited you but I wasn't sure if you'd show."

"Um, well, I wasn't going to but Emmett called about fifteen minutes ago threatening"

"Jasper!" Emmett barreled over to us, slapping poor Whitlock on his back. "I'm so glad you made it. Come, I'll introduce you to everyone."

If I didn't know any better, I would've assumed Emmett had a huge crush on the poor guy he dragged behind him. Shaking my head in confusion, I went back into the living room, picked up my book, and began to read. I was in the middle of one of the bloodiest battles I'd ever read in a fiction novelit was great.

I didn't get to do much reading because within a half an hour, everyone's voices got louder, as did the music, and Alice threatened to throw the book away. I knew it was an empty threatno one would throw a signed copy of a best seller in the garbagebut I obliged her anyway and tried to have a good time. Oddly, we were evenly matched, so I spent too much time trying to avert unwanted advances from Jessica. I really shouldn't have kissed her last week. The memory alone made the acid in my stomach turnanother case of KWI, Kissing While Intoxicated. It wouldn't happen again; at least not with Jessica.

Emmett wanted to start a game of Texas Hold 'Em and I jumped at the opportunity to get away from Jessica. It was then I noticed how close Alice kept getting to Jasper. She kept touching his arm or his hair while staring into the guy's blue eyes, it was unnerving. This was my baby sister. All the scowls and rude comments didn't deter them any and I got kicked under the table, which brought my head up to see Rosalie glaring at me, warning me with her eyes. Of all the girls

Emmett could hook up with, why did he have to pick one that was scarier than she was pretty? And let me tell you, she was definitely a beautiful woman.

An hour later, I sat at the dining room table with most of the poker chips in front of me when the doorbell rang. Alice jumped out of Jasper's lapthank God for thatand ran to the door, giggling. Hiding behind my cards, I tried to ignore Jessica and her rambling in the seat next to me. She was playing a loser's game of cards with Angela and Emmett and kept suggesting they up the ante to clothes. If any one of them started to undress, I was going to hide in my room.

"Bella!" Alice squealed and I looked up, waiting for the two women to come around the corner. "How was your date?"

"Oh, Alice, it was great," Bella said and I felt a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach start to stir. "He met me outside the restaurant and was a perfect gentlemanit was wonderful." Her voice sounded so smooth and melodic, I hardly recognized it from the harsh, defensive voice the

night we met.

"So, are you going to see him again?"

"Yes," Bella answered as they finally rounded the corner and I saw her lips curl up into a smile. I knew I was scowling at the two, but I couldn't manage to force my face to make any other expression.

"Hey Bella!" Angela said, waving to her and everyone followed suit, sending waves, high-fives, and even blown kisses in her direction.

"Hey guys!" Bella's eyes roamed around the room, passing me up at first as Alice introduced her to Jasper. The way Alice's voice changed when she mentioned his name made me roll my eyes. It looked like she was lost in her own ideal of love.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Bella said and I saw her shake his hand through my peripheral vision. Those were the exact same words she'd said to me when we first met. She'd sounded all

innocent and shy when she'd said them to me thoughI cocked my lips up into a smile. She'd been nervous to meet me.

Keeping my eyes on the cards, I shuffled and dealt the next hand, not saying a word to the brown-haired beauty that just joined our group. It was like that for some time until Alice, Bella, Jasper, Ben, and Jessica disappeared into the living room while the rest of us played another round of cards. I desperately wanted to know what they were all talking about in the living room, so I made stupid bets, getting kicked out of the game early.

Back in the living room, I picked up my book and sat down, watching Alice, Jessica and Bella speak animatedly while Ben and Jasper talked about rentals in the area. I had nothing against Ben or Jasper, but I found the conversation boring, so I hid behind my book, trying to read, but having trouble concentrating.

"Not even number 26?" Jessica asked and I stopped trying to read so I could listen better.

"No," Bella replied. "I thought for sure he'd fail that one, but he never tried. I even waited a few seconds to make sure."

"I don't understand that rule, Bella," Alice said. "What's so wrong with a man opening a door for a lady? Edward does it, right Edward?"

"Um, what?" I asked, acting as if I wasn't paying attention.

"You open doors for your dates, don't you?"

"Of course; Mom and Dad taught me to be a gentleman." I winked at Alice then glared at Bella, challenging her. "But don't you find it odd? It makes me feel uncomfortable." Bella rubbed her hands up and down her arms as she looked at Alice. Was she cold or nervous?

"I don't know," Alice said. "No one's ever done it for me."

"Me neither," Jessica said, looking over at me. She fluttered her eyelashes and I immediately

looked away, into Bella's eyes. She grimaced as she darted her eyes between me and Jessica and then shook her head with a little laugh. She must've known I kissed Jessica. That wasn't good.

"So, he was polite, ordered your wine for you, never once glanced at another woman"

I cut Alice off. "That I don't believe," I stated, putting my book on the coffee table.

"Not all men are jerks," Bella said and her face started to turn red. She was either embarrassed or angry, but I couldn't tell which.

"All men look. It's our nature."

"You're wrong. Some men actually respect the women they date." Bella raised her nose into the airshe was getting all uppity on me.

"Have you never looked at a man?"

"Well, of course I've looked at men, but never on a date."

"Never?"

Alice and Jessica were sitting back, gaping at me, but I continued. "Not even the hot busboy?"

"The busboy was definitely not hot, as you put it."

"How would you know if you didn't look at him?" Okay, I was being an ass, but I couldn't help it. For some reason, her presence invoked the worst in me; both mentally and physically. I wanted nothing more than to drag her by her arm into the guest room and ravish her perfect little body. My Lord, did she actually wear that short skirt and form-fitting blue blouse on her date? It infuriated me to think that another man got to stare at her all evening.

"Okay, Edward," Alice said, standing up to walk over to me, "that's enough." She stopped a foot away from me, her hands back on her hips and foot tapping as she glared. "I'll call Mom."

Bell burst out laughing and I looked around Alice to catch a glimpse of her, smiling from the sound of her infectious happiness. "She doesn't seem to be upset, Alice, I was only joking." All right, I wasn't joking and she knew that, but she didn't know, I knew, she knew that.

"Bella?" Alice asked, her eyes penetrating mine, not letting go. "I'm fine Alice; let him sulk in his book."

Alice exhaled loudly and then looked over at Jasper, who'd stopped his conversation with Ben to watch the whole exchange. She went to him and sat on his lap and Ben got up to find Angela. I put my nose in my book and tried to read. Not only was Alice's display of affection with Jasper pissing me off, but high and mighty, Miss Perfect, Bella Swan was as well. Maybe it was time to retreat to my bed and read.

"So Jess," Bella said, gaining my attention, "what've you been up to lately?"

"Not much. I went to dinner with Edward last weekend."

My heart stopped. We went to dinner as a large group; it just turned out that we sat next to each other and later that night I kissed her. I'll have to remember not to drink around women who can't keep their hands off me.

"Really?" I wasn't sure, but it sounded as if Bella's voice faltered a bit. Was she jealous? I smirked.

"Yeah, you were supposed to join us, weren't you?"

"Oh, you mean last Friday night?"

"Yeah, we went to Angelina's for pizza. You know, you put in too many hours at the Library. You can't be the only librarian there."

"No, I'm not the only one. I had some research to do after work."

Bella was a librarian? I couldn't make this shit up if I tried. She was a hot, sexy, embittered bitch

of a librarian.

"What exactly are you researching?"

I peeked over the top of my book and saw Bella shrug. "Nothing special."

"Empty," Jessica then said, derailing the conversation as she held up her empty bottle of beer. "Want me to grab you one too?"

"No, I'm fine." The smile Bella gave Jessica was so warm it reminded me of melting marshmallows in hot chocolate. It definitely had an affect on me; a surge of heat shot through my arms and chest and I took a deep breath in, trying to slow down my now racing heart.

"A librarian, huh?" I didn't know what possessed me to try and have a conversation with Bella, but we were practically alone in the room. My littlebaby sister was now attached at the face to Jasper. I cleared my mind of the offensiveness and turned my eyes back to Bella. She eyed me warily before shrugging.

"Yeah."

One word answer. I could see why the men she dated never called for seconds. "It must be a great place to pick up men. I couldn't imagine many musicians venturing in there." I wanted to cringe into my seat after saying that. What spell had I been put under? I really wasn't this rude to peopleespecially women. Something about this one just managed to get under my skin.

"So you're into vampires?" she asked, ignoring my rude comment. I had to hand it to her. She didn't shy away from me and remained excessively polite, though I could see flashes of gold flecks cross through her eyes. It was the same look she had on her face the night we met when she overheard me and Emmett talkingshe was raging inside.

"Not really." I glanced down at the book that now sat in my lap. "It's a pretty good book though, you should read it sometime."

She smirked. "I already have." She pointed at herself then. "Librarian, remember?" She had a sense of humor.

"I thought librarians read smutty romance novels while shoveling chocolates down their throats." There I went again. Why did she even stay here and talk to me?

"Some of us like a little variety."

I snorted.

"What?" she asked and the little piece of flesh between her eyes puckered up as she glared at me.

"I was just wondering if your rules allowed for any variety in your life." I shut my eyes that time and rubbed the bridge of my nose between two fingers. "I'm sorry. I don't know what's come over me."

"I understand," she said softly. "Some people lack personality. I won't hold it against you."

I smiled; glad she wasn't afraid to bite back. "So, did you like the book?"

She shrugged. "It was okay."

"Too much gore for you?"

She laughed. "No, the gore was fine, but there wasn't any romance." Her eyes lifted up and for a moment I had a feeling she was teasing me, but all girls liked romance books. Of course even a well written book with a great plot wouldn't rank for a woman if there wasn't any romance in itshe had to be serious. "I'm sure you prefer sparkling vampires to the real ones that burn up under the sun."

"Sparkling vampires," she repeated. "Wherever do you come up with this stuff? Vampires are evil, no matter how many layers of sweet you coat them with. They're undead creatures that feast upon humans. It's actually quite gross to think of a romance between vampires, don't you think?"

"Oh, Miss Swan, you haven't read the latest craze in young adult fiction?"

"I've heard of the sparkling vampires, but no, I haven't read it yet. I'm afraid to actually. Rose is obsessed with that series." She shuddered dramatically and laughed.

"Dude," Emmett yelled, coming into the living room. "Did Jasper tell you about the apartment?"

I looked up at him, confused for a moment. "Um, no, what apartment?"

"I think it's perfect. Tell him about it," he said to Jasper, who looked embarrassed as Alice slid off his lap and then disappeared into the kitchen.

"We found a three bedroom close to the office space you're renting."

"And it's in the same building as Rose!" Emmett was so drunk his smile kept tipping him to the

side and then back.

Great, I'd have to deal with Rosalie all the time. "I don't know," I said slowly, trying to think of a reason why we shouldn't take it. We'd been looking for something with enough space for the two of us that was close to the office but had come up blank so far. "I'd have to see it first."

"Dude, you're gonna love it!" He slapped me on the backa little too hardand then sat down next to Bella on the love seat, draping an arm around her shoulders. Had they spent time together over the last couple of weeks? Emmett seemed awfully familiar with her.

Picking up my book, I tried to hide the fact that I was watching Emmett and Bella across from me. He was whispering in her ear and she laughed, playfully hitting him on the arm. When would they have spent time together? She didn't come out with us whenever we did anything in a group and he'd spent all his other time with either me or Rosalie.

"No, Em," Bella said with a giggle. "That's number 46 and he definitely doesn't pass that one." She got up then and walked away, the smile leaving her face as she locked eyes with me. She looked sad almost and I put my head back into my book, not wanting my interest in her to be known. Sexy or not, I didn't date librarians. Better yet, I didn't date psychotic, rule-making, librarian bitches who'd obviously been jilted one too many times.

Chapter 3 Guideline 32

Guideline 32: Dates are between two people. If a man invites someone else to join in during the date, either he's not into you, or he's absolutely clueless. Don't accept another date with him.

Chuckling, I handed Emmett his Grande Double Chocolaty Chip Frappuccino Blended Crme

outside the Starbucks that stood kitty-corner to the building Emmett and Jasper were both sure would be perfect for our apartment. What man in his right mind would drink something named Chocolaty Chip?

"Are you sure Jasper drinks this stuff?" I looked down at the other large Chocolaty Chip drink in my hand as we started across the street.

"I asked Alice last night." He looked satisfied after taking a long sip of his frappuccino and then let out a loud, "ahh," letting me know how much he enjoyed it.

"So you just had to get the same thing?"

"You know I like trying new stuff." The dimples in his cheeks deepened as he smiled. That was the reason he moved here to Seattle with me; he was always game for something new.

The building was dark brown and not too tall. There was a doorman, at least giving off the

illusion that the apartments inside were luxurious. We could easily each get our own place, but, with the business just starting up, we decided to play it safe and room together for now. Taking a sip from my steaming Pike's Blend, I admired the well-dressed professionals walking in and out the doorI could definitely live here.

"Hey guys," Jasper said, coming around the corner dressed in a light grey business suit with a white shirt and blue tie, a briefcase in his right hand. He switched the case over to his left hand before offering his right for Emmett to shake. He then offered me his hand and I put his drink in it instead of shaking. "Thanks," he said a bit awkwardly before looking down at the drink in confusion.

"Alice said you liked the Chocolaty Chip thing."

At the mention of my sister, Jasper's blue eyes softened up and he smiled brilliantly. "Yes, thank you." He took a sip of his drink then looked up with a serious expression. "Our appointment isn't

for another ten minutes or so and we'll be looking at three different units. One of them has a great view of Mt. Rainier, and because of that is considerably more."

"I thought you two already looked at this place?" I asked.

"I've seen Rosie's apartment," Emmett said. "I'm not sure which model she has but it has three bedrooms, a huge kitchen, a dining room, living room, and three bathroomslots of space." "Yes, I've made sure to only schedule viewings of their three bedroom units," Jasper added. "Is that okay with you, Edward?"

"Sure." Even if I said no, it wouldn't deter Emmett. With Rose living here, it would be hard to soften the erection he'd grown for this place already. And what was with him calling her Rosie? I shuddered at the thought of them going at it and him calling out his new nickname for her. On second thought, maybe living in the same building would work to my benefit; Emmett would probably spend every wakingand sleepingmoment with Rose, leaving me alone in the

apartment.

All three of the units Jasper showed us were perfect but our favorite was the one with a view of Mt. Rainier. After filling out the contract, writing out a check for first and last month's rent and arguing over who would get the master bedroom, we said goodbye to Jasper and then took the elevator down two floors to Rose's apartment. It was almost lunchtime on Monday and Emmett insisted she'd be there, yet I couldn't help but wonder why. Didn't she work?

"What does Rose do?" I asked as we stepped off the elevator.

"She supervises the shop at UDub."

"Shop?"

Emmett laughed. "She just started her PhD at UDub and she supervises the Mechanical Engineering shop there."

"I didn't realize she was so . . ."

"Smart?" Emmett chuckled as he slapped me on the back. "Dude, she made fighting robots or something in her bachelors program. It's pretty cool to hear her talk about that stuff."

"I'm sure it is." I could just imagine Rose talking shop into Emmett's ear as he pounded into her. It seemed these two were quite a match.

Holding up a hand to silence me, Emmett paused outside Rose's door and knocked. It felt odd showing up like this, as the third wheel, but I also didn't want to be rudeEmmett had already told Rose I'd be coming. We waited a few minutes and then he knocked again, louder this time.

"Hold on," Rose said and we could hear her fumbling in the background until the door opened and she smiled, inviting us both in. "I'm sorry it took so long. I got home a bit later than expected."

Her apartment was the exact same model we chose, only everything was opposite of ours and she

didn't have the great view of Mt. Rainier I'd soon be waking up to every morning since I'd won the master bedroom. The living room was lined with bookshelves covered in many different genres and titles. I saw the Isaiah Strong books I'd started reading over at Alice's place carefully placed amidst a lot of Steven King and Elmore Leonard books. On the other side were a lot of romance novels, how-to books, and car magazines. Rose had quite an eclectic taste in books and she had them all ordered strangely.

"You still reading those vampire books?" she asked, motioning to the Strong books I'd been staring at.

"Yeah, I'm on the second one now."

"You know, Bella insists there's no romance in those books, but the way Strong writes the relationship between Henry and Eleanor is no different than"

"Don't say it," I said, cringing. "Bella told me you're into those sparkling vampires. First of all,

Henry and Eleanor are both vampiresvampires that can die, not some romanticized idea of vampires that have no vulnerabilities to humans. Also, there is no love between them; all they have is a . . . mutual understanding, for lack of a better term." There was a better term to use for their arrangement, but I wasn't sure how crude I could get around Rose just yet.

"She's never even read the books so don't listen to a word she says. They have weaknesses" She stopped defending them when I cocked an eyebrow, challenging her to prove it. "Bella thinks just like you do though; she insists Henry and Eleanor are just fuck-friends."

I smirked at Rosalie as Emmett chuckled behind her. "I guess that's one thing Bella and I agree on then, but don't tell her; I'm sure she'd go and change her entire opinion if she knew."

"Probably." Rose turned toward the kitchen and motioned for us to have a seat at the table. "I picked up some sandwiches from the deli across the street. I figured you two would like to see

what kind of food was in the area."

Sitting down, I opened up the paper-wrapped sandwich and took a bite. She must've asked Emmett what to get me because it was perfectexactly what I would've ordered. "How long have you been living in this building?" I asked between bites.

"Almost two years" Interrupted by a sound from the door, Rose's head jerked up. "Shit, she wasn't supposed to come home this early."

The confusion I felt was suddenly replaced by anger as I heard a very familiar voice call out for Rose. "I know you're home, Rose, you left your shoes in the living room." Bella was giggling, as if she'd scolded Rose about leaving her shoes there many times before, but halted abruptly as she rounded the corner to the dining room, her mouth falling open.

Wearing faded jeans and a brown Columbia fleece sweatshirt, her hair a wispy mess from the wind and light sprinkle of rain, Bella looked heavenly. "What's going on?"

"Eating lunch," Rose responded. "Why don't you join us? You can have my other half."

"No thanks, I'll eat something later." Putting a smile on her face, Bella then greeted Emmett and me, and then excused herself; if nothing else, she was polite.

The table became a very quiet place as I darted my eyes between Emmett and his new girlfriend. "What was all that about?" I asked, unsure why their eyes were wide, their teeth chewing the food in their mouths slowly, if at all.

After swallowing her food, Rose smiled sweetly. "What do you mean?"

"Were you trying to keep it a secret that Bella lives here with you?" In all honesty, I now had no desire at allwhat so everto live in this building. Having the probability exist that I'd see the embittered, bitchy librarian almost every day did not sit well with me, no matter how fine her ass was in those jeans she wore.

"Well, we, um . . ." Rosalie looked frantically over to Emmett.

"We already signed the contract, man, there's no backing out now." Emmett looked nervous. He knew exactly how I felt about the jilted rule makerwell, not the lustful thoughts I had about her, but he knew about my dislike for her. Did he really think I wouldn't figure out that she lived here? Ever?

Exhaling loudly, I put my sandwich down on the table and squeezed the bridge of my nose. Living in the same building as the librarian version of Scarlet O'Hara was going to be tough, but she'd be avoidable. I never had to come down to visit Rose and I wouldn't have any reason to invite Bella up to our placeneither would Emmett.

"I'm not going to back out," I said, resigned to make the best of the situation. "We've got to get going though." I wrapped my sandwich back up in the paper it came in, and then stood, waiting for Emmett. I didn't want to be in the same vicinity as Scarlet.

"Give us a moment?" Rose asked and I nodded with a grimace as my two lunch dates left me alone, disappearing into the living room. I followed a couple minutes later to find the living room empty and realized they were hiding out in Rose's room.

Sitting down on the couch, I awkwardly looked around the room, admiring the at-home feel of the place. The walls were painted in a warm blue that wasn't too dark or too light. It reminded me of the blue candles in Alice's apartment. Dark brown, wooden bookshelves covered a lot of the wall space, overflowing with bookswhat else would one expect from a librarian?and the areas that were open held original oil paintings on canvas from a local artist maybe?

The couch I sat on was brown. Not a nice, soft brown, but something from the 70's maybe. It was deep, reddish brown and a bit fuzzy. Cringing from the thought of how old the couch was, wondering how often it had been cleaned, I sat forward, looking at the pine coffee table, whose stain was too light to match the rest of the roomit looked out of place.

On the table were a few picture books of bikes and cars most likely Rose's stuffalong with a huge, three-wick candle that smelled like pumpkin pie. Next to the candle sat a worn, scribbled on, decomposing spiral notebook and I picked it up, wondering why they kept something so hideous lying around. Upon opening it, my mouth drew into a tight line and my fists clenched up. On the first page, in large, darkyet agedletters read, "Bella Swan's Dating Guide".

Of all things holy, my God in Heaven, Bella actually had a notebook full of her rules. Scarlet was scarier than I originally thought. Turning the first page, I glanced at the list of rules written out in numbered-form and in many different types of ink. I shook my head.

A man who seeks a kiss on the first date is no gentleman at all and will not receive a second date.

Always say no to a man who asks for a date within two days of the event.

Steer clear of boring bankers. Nothing exciting or passionate can come from one so dry.

Any man who willingly listens to Britney Spears is no man at alldump him!

Sporting events are off-limits for dates 1-5; don't even stay at the event. Skip off to the bathroom and take a cab home.

The concept of dating is to get to know each other and this can not happen when sitting in a dark theater without the freedom to talk. Never give a second date to a man who takes you to a movie for your first.

Was this for real? Okay, I didn't care much for Britney Spears, but was that an issue worth dumping someone over? Shaking my head, I let my eyes scroll down, finding the rules about IQ test scores and height requirements. This shit really existed; she really had a listunbelievable.

The sound of a door opening caught my attention and I slammed the notebook closed, placing it

back on the coffee table right before Bella walked out from down the hall, a laptop in her hand and pen trapped behind her right ear. Sexy, yet bitchy, librarian Scarlet had come out to play.

"You're still here?" she asked, standing awkwardly near the couch. Was I sitting in her spot?

"Em and Rose needed a moment alone," I said, trying to be politethis was her home after all.

Sitting down in the ratty, knotted, brown chair to my right, Bella placed her laptop on her legs and then opened it up and I heard the annoying beep as it booted. She ignored my presence as she speedily typed on the keyboard, her eyes glued to the screen that cast a bluish-grey glow about her face, her lower lip caught under her attacking teeth. There were reasons for the stereotype of the lonely, matron librarian and Bella seemed to fit the description to the 'T'. Well, except for the glasses, but I wasn't so sure she didn't wear them quite yet; she could have contacts in.

Out of nowhere, Bella's head shot up and she glared at me. I glared back, not sure what our stare-down was about. Thinking back to the blinking game I used to play with Alice as a kid, I concentrated on keeping my lids from needing to wet my eyes; I was good at this game. "I take it you're moving in?" she finally asked, her lips cast down, but not in a frown.

"Yeah, we got a view of Mt. Rainier," I said, trying to be civil. Right now it was incredibly hard since she was being her wonderfully tempered normal self in other words, a total bitch.

Dismissing what I said, she looked back down at her computer and started typing again. Was she writing something about me? Was it an email to someone? "What're you doing?" I asked, suddenly feeling a bit paranoid.

"Working."

The one-word answerer struck again. She was quite the conversationalist. Feeling a bit antsy, my

leg unconsciously started to bounce up and down at a rapid rate. It wasn't exactly something I had control over, but Bella's head startled up, her eyes glaring at my knee before moving to my face. I lifted my brow in response, but let my leg continue its annoying activity. She looked back down at her laptop, her face contorting to a look of annoyance.

"I didn't realize there was much work a librarian could do from home," I mused, wondering what kind of librarian she was.

"There is." She kept her eyes on her screen.

Ooh, two words this time; I must be breaking down her walls. With a personality as great as hers, it was a wonder she'd made it to any first dates.

It was silent for some time, except for the steady rhythm of Bella's keyboard clicking. Finally, I was saved by Emmett and Rose as they exited Rose's room, their hands clasped together. Now, I never heard a peep from the two of them, so I was sure they didn't do the nasty, but I knew the

look on each of their faces. They hadn't been doing anything innocent in there.

"Ready Eddie?" Emmett asked with a huge grin on his face, obviously amused about something.

"Yeah," I said as I stood. Before taking a step toward the door, I looked over at Bella who still stared at her laptop and rolled my eyes. I was going to say goodbye, but honestly, she wasn't worth the effort.

The two lovebirds took a moment to hug and kiss as I stood by the door, waiting. As soon as they were done groping at each other, Bella's head looked up and she smiled warmly at Emmett. That look had me mesmerized the other night at Alice's place when Bella smiled at Jessica and it had the same affect today. It turned the ice queen into a warm glow and I stared at her, unable to look away.

"Bye, Em," Bella said and I swore the woman was bipolar or something. Her voice was smooth

and sweet, reminding me of molten chocolate. Without thinking, my tongue slipped out and ran over my bottom lip. Scarlet was going to be dangerous for me. "Bye, Bells," Emmett said and then opened the door, ushering me out. Rose said a quick goodbye to me and then I heard a soft whisper of Bella bidding me farewell, probably feeling the need to act polite around Rose and Emmett.

There was so much to do in order to get our firm up and running. Emmett and I spent the next few days ordering furniture for our new office since we were moving in on November 1st, along with arranging the move to our new apartment, which would happen on Saturday now, thanks to Jasper getting our move-in date moved up a week. Things seemed to be falling into place rather well.

On Thursday evening, I arranged for Emmett and I to meet up with some members of the Seattle Bar Association, which we were both in the process of joining. Making contacts was going to be

key in making sure our firm hit it off. Unfortunately, Emmett cancelled on me at the last minute, leaving me to network alone.

The dinner went over well, despite Emmett's lack of involvementhe was the charismatic one between usand I made plans to meet up with the two menDave and Kurtnext week. I now knew two lawyers in the Seattle area and I'd agreed to do some coverage work for them, which couldn't hurt. They also said they'd throw some conflict work my way, which I was ecstatic about. Other than getting our law blog, website, and articles posted on the web, we hadn't gotten much set up.

It was still early when I said goodbye to Dave and Kurt and I didn't feel like going back to Alice's place where I was sure she could be found cuddling Jasper on her couch. It wasn't that I didn't like Jasper or Alice with Jasper, it was just odd to see my baby sister being affectionate with someone. I knew she wasn't a virgin any longerhad known for some timebut with

living so far away, it had never been shoved down my throat as it had been these past few days. For Heaven's sake, she'd just met the guy and they were already having sleepovers!

Feeling pretty good with having made connections and knowing Emmett and I would have some work soonwe'd expected to be pretty dry for the first few monthsI decided to celebrate and there was nothing better than a neat glass of brandy for the occasion. It was while I was drinking my second glass of cognac when I heard a familiar laugh across the restaurant and I looked up to see Bella sitting at a table with a tall, dark, long-haired man. Was he an Indian? Leaning forward on my stool, I squinted, trying to get a better look of the two.

My dear Scarlet wore a deep blue, short-sleeved dress with a very low v-neck which showed off the swell of her creamy breasts. The contrast between the blue fabric and her milky white skin had me gulping down my next sip of cognac as I stared at her, watching her brown curls bounce along her shoulders as she laughed at something her companion said. She didn't look anything

like a librarian tonight.

Lifting my snifter, I gulped down whatever was left and then motioned to the bartender for more. Bella's warm smile had affected me in a way I wasn't prepared for, but her laughter and the happiness on her face totally did me in. As I watched her from across the room, my heart erratically pounded against my chest.

Once my drink was poured, I paid my tab and tipped the bartender, then started in the direction of the beautiful, embittered librarian. Her eyes grew big when she noticed my presence, watching me walk the few feet to their table.

"Bella," I said curtly with a smirk.

"Edward." Her eyes pierced into mine, imploring me to leave, so I smiled sweetly.

"Let me introduce myself," I said, reaching my right hand out to the Indian. He compared to Emmett in size, but his face still looked to have a bit of baby fat in it. "I'm Bella's friend,

Edward."

"Jacob," the man said, shaking my hand. His smile, I had to admit, was one women would fall all over.

"What're you two up to this evening?" I asked, enjoying Bella's death glare and obvious irritation.

"We're just finishing our dinner," Jacob said. He looked kindly over at Bella and she immediately changed her expression, expertly faking a happy smile before he looked back at me and the drink I was warming in my hand. "Would you like to join us for an after dinner drink?"

As large and handsome as the young Indian was, he wasn't quite bright. It didn't take a microscope to see Bella's outrage at his invitation to me. With a smug smile, I sat down in an empty seat and said, "Thank you." After all, what was a celebration without people to celebrate with?

"What's that you have?" Jake asked.

"Cognac."

"Really? I've never tried it, is it good?"

I shrugged. "Yeah, it's good."

The waitress came over, probably from noticing my sudden appearance at the table, and took drink orders from Jake and Bella; a cognac and an Irish coffee, respectively. Bella still hadn't said a word and from the looks of it, she wasn't only mad at me. Only a few minutes before, she'd been smiling and having a great time with the Indian and now her mouth was pulled into a tight line, her arms crossed over her chest, and her cheeks flushed.

"So, how long have you two been dating?" I asked, knowing it wasn't a polite question or even one Bella would like to discuss. "How long has it been, Bella?" Jake asked, turning to Bella and she put a smile on her face to

answer.

"Almost three weeks, I think."

"Yeah, that's right." Jake turned to me then and I noticed his hand reach over toward Bella under the table and her body stiffened. "We met at a book store. She helped me find what I was looking for."

"How quaint." I took a sip of my cognac as I looked up at Bella and her chest rose as she took in a deep breath.

"She really knows her stuff." Jake was absolutely oblivious to the woman next to him and her drastic mood change. "I asked for her number, called the next day, and here we are on our . . ."

"Fourth date," Bella mumbled and I had to hold back my laugh. She really didn't sound thrilled.

The waitress came by at that time and dropped off Jake and Bella's drinks. Jake picked his up

and lifted it to his nose, breathing in deeply. Pulling his head away, he scrunched up his nose, a repulsed expression on his face.

"You really drink this stuff?"

I shrugged. "Yeah, it's actually pretty good." Taking a sip, I watched out the corner of my eye as Jake lifted his glass to his mouth and took a big gulp. Not a wise idea.

The poor guy coughed so much from the drink that I felt inclined to help whack him on the back, hoping to alleviate his discomfort in a small way. Inside, I was laughing though. You don't down brandy, you sip it.

"Here," I said once Jake had wiped his eyes and regained his composure. "Rest your hand under the snifter first and warm it up." I smiled up at Bella as I instructed Jake but she kept a tight scowl on her face whenever she looked at me. "Now smell the aroma." I slightly lifted my glass toward my nose and took a slow sniff in and then laughed as I saw Jake try and do the same

thing.

"Not like that." I put my drink down, unable to contain it any longer. "I'm sorry, I just . . . you don't have to put your nose into the glass. Here" Reaching a hand over, I helped Jake lift his snifter a little and then told him to sniff. A bright smile lit up his face and he looked over at Bella.

"You want to smell it?" he asked excitedly.

"Um, no," she said, shaking her head.

"Come on, Bella, give it a try." Jake thrust the glass under Bella's nose and she pulled back, putting some distance between her and the snifter. She then took a small sniff and smiled at Jake. "Good, huh?" he asked.

"Yeah, it smells fine."

"Okay," I interrupted, "now bring the glass to your lips and take a small sip, but don't swallow it

right away."

"Why not?"

"You want to enjoy the flavor. Take your sip and then slowly swirl it around your mouth a bit, then you can swallow."

Jake took his sip and I watched him have trouble swirling it around in his mouth and then he looked at me and I nodded, giving him permission to swallow. He made a sour face, but smiled afterward. "That was good. You want to try some, Bella?"

Shaking her head, Bella declined his offer, and brought her Irish coffee up to her mouth for a lady-like slurp. The way her mouth curved around the ceramic mug, her pink lips moist from the steam lifting from her coffee had me in a trance. When she brought the mug away from her mouth, her tongue slipped out and wiped up the coffee that was left on her lips.

"How do you know Bella?" Jake asked, pulling me out of my daze.

"Um, mutual friends," I replied, looking at Bella. She didn't seem as prissy at the moment. Actually, she seemed to be ignoring us. Her eyes were focused on the napkin in her hand as she played with it, folding it one way and then the other. "Bella is good friends with my sister, actually."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I'm sure you've met her. Bella and Alice are always together." I knew for a fact Bella hadn't brought Jake around to meet anyone yetit was one of her rules. She didn't introduce a guy to her friends until after the fourth date, which was what they were on now. And then, when she did bring a guy around, it was a test of sorts to see if he fit in with her friends.

"Alice?" Jake asked, looking over to Bella who was again giving me the death glare. "Is she the one you live with?"

"Um no," Bella said after a sip of her coffee and inside, I smirked to myself. "My roommate is Rosalie. Alice was my roommate in collegeshe's the one who loves to shop. I've mentioned her a few times"

"I'm sure you'll meet my sister soon," I said, interrupting Bella. "What is it, after the fourth date or so you introduce guys to them?" If it weren't for Bella's knuckles turning white as she grasped onto her coffee mug, I wouldn't have known about the rage fueling inside her. She kept her face very composed, barely missing a beat as she turned a sweet smile to me. "Where do you come up with this stuff?" she said with a laugh. She turned to Jake and shook her head. "Edward's like the town fool or court jester in our circle. Don't ever give him something to drink and never listen to a word he says."

"Oh come on Sc Swan, you're killing me here." Placing my hand over my heart, I acted hurt from her words.

"See there," she said, "he can't even speak clearly. How many cognacs is that for you?" she asked. "I'll have to remember to tell Emmett not to let you out without a chaperone."

Yes, I stuttered over her name, but it wasn't because I had too much to drink, I almost called her Scarlet. Realizing I didn't have the upper hand in the conversation, I changed subjects, causing Bella to roll her eyes at me. "So, Jake, what do you do for a living?"

"I work at the Volkswagen dealership by UDub's campus."

"Oh, so you're one of their finance guys or"

"I'm a salesman," he said proudly and I couldn't fault him for liking his job.

"How's it been with the economy lately?"

"Not too bad." He shrugged, but I noticed a slight dip in his shouldershe wasn't sitting as tall and proud as before and I felt like an ass for bringing it up.

"Jake's their top seller," Bella said and I looked up at her, surprised. I had almost forgotten she was there, she was so quiet.

"I worked at a dealership when I was in college," I said, and it was the truth, though I wasn't above lying to try and show the guy we were on the level.

"Yeah? Salesman?"

"No, I was they guy who came in and mopped the floors and washed the windows." Laughing, I finished off the rest of my cognac and placed my empty snifter down on the table.

"What do you do?" Jake asked.

"He's an ambulance chaser."

"No way, one of those crazy lawyers you see on TV with the goofy ads?"

At the mention of goofy ads, I reminded myself not to have any gimmicks in the commercial spot Emmett and I were planning. Moving to a new city to start our firm wasn't the smartest idea we'd had. Without any contacts, we'd be fighting an up-hill battle, so having a commercialthough not something either of us wanted to dowas something we had to do.

"Let's hope not," I said, silently hoping we'd be able to come up with something professional looking.

"I have a friend who was injured at work not too long ago. He's been at home ever since and is suing the owner of the car."

"What happened?" I asked even though it wasn't the type of case Emmett and I do.

"Some guy came in for four new tires and we always ask if they've used NoFlatz on tires because that stuff is flammable. They said he didn't and so he used a crowbar and was jumping"

I had to try and concentrate while listening to the Indian. He was dangling his participles and not making any senseI couldn't tell who he was talking about.

"then all of a sudden, it exploded and he flew back like 8 feet into a metal desk. The guy has burns all over his leg and lower back and can barely walk right now."

Wow. I didn't really know what to say. "Unfortunately I'm a criminal lawyer, but that's a horrible story."

"That's okay. He has a lawyer, but I don't think the guy's doing all he can for him."

"Why not?"

"I don't know." Jake ran his hand through his long, snarly looking hairwhy women fall for men with long hair was beyond my comprehensionand then sighed. "He's young, ya know? He's like a brother to me and I just don't want him to be taken advantage of."

A side of me thought of taking a look at the case, even though it wasn't the type of law I practiced, but the asshole in me won out, ignoring what Jake said and looking over to my Scarlet who seemed to be waiting for me to say something. Was she expecting me to offer help? It wasn't going to happen.

"So," I said, leaning back in my chair. "I've been a bit bored in the office the past few days" It was a lie. I hadn't had any time on my hands lately. Getting the blog and website up along with writing articles and posting them on numerous websites with backlinks to our blog and website was a full-time job in and of itself. "I was playing around online and found an IQ test." Chuckling, I looked up at Jake, giving him the most innocent smile I could muster. "Have you ever taken one?"

"Nah, I'm not sure what's even on one." He looked over at Bella then. "Have you ever taken one?"

"Um, I . . . well, yeah. We had to take one in college." She was still sitting there, listening to the conversation and I couldn't believe it. I figured she'd be too pissed to sit through all this, and yet, she still hadn't kicked me out of their date or gotten up to leave herself.

"Really?" I asked. "What did you score?"

"It's not really important," she said.

"It was fun to do." I looked back at Jake, who still hadn't noticed Bella's dislike of me. "You should take one sometimewith Bella." I sent a huge smile her way.

"Yeah," Jake said. "That sounds like fun."

Without warning to either me or Jake, Bella shot up out of her seat, her purse already clutched in her hand. "I'm sorry, but it's getting late and I need to wake up early tomorrow."

"Oh, of course." Jake lifted the bill from the table and flagged the waitress down with his hand. "Why don't you go wait by the door; I'll take care of this."

The waitress came to take Jake's card and I shook his hand, telling him it was a pleasure to meet him. Bella was almost to the door by the time I started in her direction, and was already standing by the window, looking out at the damp street once I made it to her. Grabbing a mint from the hostess' podium, I popped it into my mouth and then turned to leave, but Bella reached out a hand and grabbed hold of my arm.

"Stay away from me," she said, her face a deep red, her eyes shooting daggers, but it wasn't her furious expression that got my attention; it was the fire that burned through my jacket and shirt, down through the skin of my arm and into my blood. One touch from her filled my body with warmth better than any brandy could.

"I'm not a stalker, Bella, we just happened to be dining at the same restaurant tonight."

"I wasn't implying that." She looked down at the floor before looking back up at me, the daggers gone, but fire still burning behind the deep chocolate brown. "Look, unfortunately we'll have to see each other at times, but we aren't friends. You stay out of my hair and I'll stay out of yoursgot it?"

Cocking an eyebrow, I smirked. "What's wrong? Did Jake fail one of your rules tonight?"

"Just leave me alone." The rage was gone from her eyes, but it was replaced with pain and what looked to be disappointment. When had my little game turned so ugly? All I had wanted to do was sit down next to my beautiful Scarlet and have a little sparring match and yet, I feared I took things too far.

"You ready to go?" Jake asked Bella, joining us at the door. "Yes." She allowed Jake to put his hand at the small of her back. "Bye Edward."

For some odd reason, watching my Scarlet walk out the door, escorted by the Indian, angered

me. It was obvious she didn't like him. Actually, I couldn't say he really liked her either. Who in their right mind invites someone to sit down and interrupt a date? Snorting, I looked out the window and watched Bella's back get smaller and smaller the further away she walked.

The night wasn't a total loss, I thought, pulling myself out of my thoughts of Bella. I'd connected with other lawyers and set up to meet them next week, Emmett and I now had some work coming our way, and Bella had told me to leave her alone. The bitter librarian never disappoints. Unfortunately, leaving Bella alone wouldn't be easy when she's dressed how she was tonight. Damn. Even when she was in her ratty jeans and fleece sweatshirt the other day, I couldn't keep my eyes from ogling her body. No, staying away from Scarlet was not going to be easyI could see myself breaking that rule of hers often.

Laughing, I grabbed another mint from the hostess' podium and stepped out into the damp Seattle night. It wasn't raininghadn't all daybut it had drizzled a little. It was almost like a

light mist filtering through the air all afternoon and into the evening. Bella Swan had created a new rule; I was to stay away from her. Now why did her rule make me want to do the opposite?

Chapter 4 Guideline 13

Guideline 13: What is up with bright colored plastic shoes? Not only are they absolutely hideous to look at, but one must wonder the state of one's mind who wears them. Don't even consider a man who wears Crocs.

Working at the library had always relaxed me; I felt at home among the numerous aisles of tall bookshelves, the smell of leather and ink surrounding me, and the quiet hum from brains working over-time. Okay, maybe the UDub library wasn't as silent as I make it sound, but it was quiet enough. Occasionally, we'd get a group of students who didn't care about the others

studying around them, but usually, you could hear the turning of pages, the swirl of pens and pencils rubbing against crisp, white paper, and the squeaking wheels of the book cart I sometimes had to push around.

Today I was sitting at a table in a corner with Angela and Alicewe were being the loud, annoying group, and it felt good. If it weren't for my overbearing boss, James, I wouldn't have called my friends to come visit during my break, but I desperately needed to have a chat. Between the humiliation Edward had put me through last night while I was out on a date with Jake, and the advances I kept trying to thwart off by James, I was ready to go crazy.

My friends knew about James and had been begging me to file a complaint, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Was I chicken? Yes, I guess you could say that. I just didn't want anything to get worse. A fellow librarian of mine, Sarah, had filed numerous complaints on the asshole and look what that had gotten herfired.

"What was it this time?" Angela asked as soon as we sat down.

"He trapped me in the back room again."

"He didn't touch you, did he?" Alice's expression was absolutely terrifying. I'd learned a long time ago never to cross her path.

"No, I'm fine, he didn't touch me." It wasn't necessarily a lie; he was only able to briefly graze my breast before I clunked him over the head with the 'M' encyclopedia.

"You really need to file a complaint, Bella. You need to have this on record. Otherwise, when he does do something bad, they won't have the history on file "

"I know," I said, placing my head in my hands, elbows on the table. She was right, I knew she was right, but I didn't want to make it worse. Sarah's encounters with James got worse and worse with each complaint she filed. "I just keep thinking about Sarah . . . why in the world did she end

up fired and not him?"

"Have you considered looking for another job?" Angela asked, rubbing my back.

"Very nice, Bella." James stood next to the table in a pair of bright green Crocs, his horribly freakish grey eyes staring right at me. "You have twenty minutes left on your break."

There was nothing I wanted to do more in the world than throw my fingers around his throat and squeeze as hard as I could, but, instead, I stared back at him, unwilling to give him a reply. When the silence grew too thick, he turned away, but looked back at the last minute.

"And keep it down, you girls are too loud."

Rolling my eyes, I looked back at my girlfriends. "Can we talk about something more interesting than the asshat?"

"Yes!" Alice seemed a bit over-eager about something. "I want to know when we're going to meet your new beau." Her smile was infectious, but not enough to erase the scowl the mention of Jake elicited from my face.

"That's not a good look," Angela mused, her brows pulled together as she tried to figure out my expression and what it meant.

"No, it's not," I said, the anger inside me growing as I thought of my date with Jake last night. After leaving the restaurant where Edward intruded upon our time together, I allowed Jake to drive me back to my apartment, but when he went to kiss me goodnight, I pulled away and broke everything off with him. How dare he invite some stranger that's what Edward was to himto sit with us during our date? Was he oblivious to the concept of the date; two peopleone man and one womanor was he not having a good time and so decided to invite a third party into the mess? Either way, neither reason was good enough. He'd failed a guideline, so I had to end it.

"Oh no, what rule did he break?" Alice's smile was long gone and a frown now covered the area where her beautiful white teeth shone from just moments ago.

"32."

"Really?" Alice's eyes grew big and then she shook her head. "32 is pretty bad. Either he wasn't having a good time and was looking for a way out of spending time alone with you or"

"Or he's a total dimwit who doesn't understand the concept of dating," I stated with a smirk.

"So you dumped him? Just like that?" Angela asked with a frown. "I actually thought you finally found someone . . . I"

"Me too," I said. "I thought I'd found someone too."

"Was it a friend of his?" Alice asked. "I can't imagine any of our friends joining you during a date."

"No, it was Edward."

"Edward?" Alice looked confused. "Why would Edward interrupt your date? He said he was out having dinner with some lawyers from the Seattle Bar Association last night."

"Apparently they dined at the same restaurant as Jake and I. He came over to the table all drunk and smirking and introduced himself to Jake. The next thing I knew, Jake invited him to join us for a drink."

"Oh brother," Alice said. "I'm so sorry about this. I know Edward can be a dick, but he's usually not that bad."

"Well, on the bright side," Angela said, "in a way, Edward showing up helped you out."

"Really? Tell me how Edward imposing on my date with Jake helped me, I'm dying to hear."

Alice giggled and I shot her my death glare, shutting her up instantly.

"If Edward hadn't shown up, you would've wasted more time with Jake. He obviously failed a rule; if he hadn't done it then, he would've eventually." Angela actually made sense. She was right; if Jake was the kind of guy to invite people to join his dates, then he eventually would've done so at some point in time. I still wasn't ready to give any props to Edward though. He'd been on my shit list from the night I met him, and every meeting since then he seemed to lose pointsif that were even possible. "I guess," I said with a sigh.

"Well, there are other options, you know," Alice said. "I'll make sure to invite all my single guy friends to your Halloween party."

"Don't you know it's bad form to invite people to someone else's party?" It was a sassy comment; my friends knew they could invite anyone they wanted.

"So what, you're putting your friends under some set of rules now? You can't just break up with us if we do something you don't like."

For some reason that hurt, but I wouldn't let her know. She was jokingas I wasI got that, but what Alice said made my dating guidelines feel cheap and shallow.

"Come on, Swan, I was only kidding," Alice said. "I won't invite every single man I know to your party, but can Edward please come?"

"Do I have a choice?"

The frown on Alice's face deepened and I actually felt horrible. To be totally honest, I didn't think I could stay away from Edward. As much as he pissed me off and made me want to throw darts at his perfect pink lips and striking green eyes, there was something that pulled me toward him. Maybe it was the whole idea of taming the asshole inside him, type of thing. Whatever it was, if he was near me, I had this desire to be closer to him as if my body couldn't stand to be

separated from him. Maybe it was some sort of subconscious self-punishment type of thing.

"Of course you have a choice. If you don't want him there, I'll tell him to stay away. I've already called my mom once about the way he treated you at my house that one night. I've never seen him act that way before. I will say though, in his defense, that whatever happened to him in Boston is still affecting him."

Whatever happened to him in Boston? I knew something was odd about the way Edward and Emmett just picked up and left their lives to move to Seattle, but Alice's words had me more intrigued now. "No, he can come, Alice. I'll just make sure to stay ten feet away from him at all times."

"Have you guys decided what you're going to be yet?" Angela asked, her fingers playing with the ends of her hair.

"Not yet," I replied. I did have an idea, but I was trying to find something bettersomething that

didn't cover my face the entire evening.

"I know what I'm going to be, but I'm not telling anyone. You'll just have to wait until I show up." Alice really loved HalloweenI think it was her favorite holiday. She always had the best costume ideas, so I knew the wait would be worth it. "Is Jasper coming?" I asked, hoping to change the subject to her and her new boy toy.

"Oh man! I couldn't wait until one of you brought him up!" She practically squealed as she spoke and if I hadn't been part of the conversation, I would've asked us to quiet downshe was way too loud.

We spent the rest of my break talking about Jasper and once my time was upwe knew from James standing a few feet away, staring at our tableI gave my friends each a hug and went back to my duties. It wasn't anything odd to have James watching me the entire time I worked, but for some reason, I wasn't in the mood to deal with it todayI just couldn't take it.

Not wanting to do something rash and stupid, like lash out at my boss, I tried hard to keep my distance from James the rest of the day. I spent a lot of time on the reference floor, researching information about serial killers, which was where I was when the heavy stomping of someone's feet neared my perch behind a tower of books. Looking around the bookcase in front of me, seeing leather brown shoes underneath a pair of khaki pants, I swallowed, enjoying the shape of the body covered up underneath. This man definitely knew his way around a gym.

Suddenly, with a feeling I was being watched, I jerked my head up to see a pair of brown eyes looking down at me. I'd been caught staring at Mr. Khaki, and what a specimen to stare at. The mystery man had short brown hairlonger than a military haircut, but thankfully shorter than a lot of the students around campus worewith gorgeous brown eyes and a square jaw. Luckily, he looked more like faculty than a student, but one could never know for sure.

Before I was able to clear my dirty thoughts and say something to him, his cell phone rang and he immediately pulled it from his pants pocket and put it to his ear. I couldn't hear what he said, but his eyes caught mine and he smiled, looking apologetic before walking away and out of my sight.

The rest of the week dragged slowly by. I didn't work a lot of hours at the library, but when I did, it was under James' annoying sexual innuendos and constant flirting. By the time the weekend came, I was so excited to sit back and relax. Okay, if I was being honest, I was a bit pissed off at Edward still and depressed at not having a date for the weekend. While Emmett and Edward moved into their apartment a couple floors up, I holed myself up in my room and read, slept, and watched movies. It wasn't that I didn't want to help Emmett, he'd been wonderful to me, but I just didn't want to deal with the god-like prick he called a roommate and friend. How could someone look as amazing as Edward yet be a total ass?

And boy did Edward look amazing. The first night we met, I'd nearly creamed from his smile alone. Why was it the good-looking guys who had terrible dispositions and attitudes? It never failed; whenever I went on a date with a handsome man, they ended up being a total prick or ass, never making it past the first date, or sometimes even a quick hello. Well, Jake was different, but he was in the minority, and in the end, ended up being a total jerk without even realizing it. That was even worse in my mind. Or maybe he did know . . . maybe he couldn't figure out a way to get away from me, so he invited Edward to join us in order to make me mad. Either way, all the good looking men were jerks. Emmett and Edward threw a little party the day after they moved in and in order to get out of the obligation of making an appearance, I went to the library and then to a wifi caf, where I could get some work done on the short story I'd been working on. Other than Rose and Alice, I hadn't told anyone, but all the research I'd been doing was for a little hobby of minewriting.

Going the entire weekend without hanging out with my friendsbecause I decided to avoid Edwardhad me on edge when I went back to work on Tuesday and I was not in the mood to deal with James and his harassing ways. All it took was one stupid little remark and I was immediately in his face, threatening to file a complaint. James laughed in my face and though I should've felt better for standing up for myself, I felt worse.

Wednesday was another horrible day at work. The morning was pretty slow and I took my time searching through all the aisles, looking for Mr. Khaki, my mystery man. Annoyed at myself for being so foolishI never found himI sulked in a corner for a while until I heard footsteps approach and my heart reacted. Could this be him? Had he found me?

Turning around, I came face-to-face with none other than my boss, James, and my heart sunk into my stomach, making it feel extra heavy and for some odd reason, making me feel afraid. Of all the ways James' presence had made me feel in the past, I'd never felt this sudden rage of fear

that I now had coursing through my blood.

"What do you want?" I asked, taking a step back from his towering body.

"We're the only ones on this floor." The delighted sneer that seemed to creep onto his face made my stomach turn and I swallowed the bile that immediately shot into my throat.

"Leave me alone, James. I wasn't kidding about filing a complaint. You can't do this to me, or say the things you say; it's sexual harassment and I'm sick of it. I won't put up with your shit anymore." The words sounded strong in my head, but coming from my timid lips, they were more like a weak whisper.

His laugh creeped me out and I took another step back. "Bella, Bella, Bella," he said with a yellowish smile. "Didn't you learn anything from Sarah? You can't beat me." He took two steps closer to me and when I stepped back again, I realized I was backed up against a wall.

"My friends will be here soon." My eyes darted down the aisle to my left, my only escape, hoping he didn't hear the falsehood of my statementmy friends weren't coming. "They'll be looking for me. I bet they're already here"

His stupid, annoying laugh halted my words and I knew I had no other choice but to try and run, so I did. Turning to my left, I immediately moved my feet, but I wasn't fast enough. James caught me by my arm and pushed my back up against a bookshelf. The pain caused me to cry out and he laughed again.

"Leave me alone!" I screamed, trying to pull my arms away. "You smell so delicious. You'll make a perfect snack."

There were tons of things running through my head, but I couldn't figure out what the best thing to do was. When his eyes traveled from my face, down to my breasts, I couldn't take it anymore. The thought of him touching me gave me a renewed sense of self-preservation and out of nowhere, I realized his weakness; the one place he left himself open.

With all the energy I could muster, I brought my knee up as fast as I could, striking James in the balls and then I took off down the aisle and to the staircaseI wasn't about to wait for the elevator. Once I was on the main level, I searched all the faces around me, realizing no one had missed me or Jamesnot even the other librarian working at the time. Once outside in the fresh air, I remembered my jacket, which I left in the office. Forgetting about the cold, I decided to come back for it later. Right now, I was going home.

My humiliation, of course, wouldn't have been complete without running into Edward, which I did, on my way into our building. With tears streaking down my face, and a crazy look in my eyes, I ran right into the asshole, himself.

"Whoa," he said, grasping onto my shoulders, and I flinched back from him, my mind still on the task of getting home. "Bella?" he asked as I pushed by him, running to the elevatorthere was no way I had the energy to walk up the stairs to our floor. "Bella!" He was following me and I

stopped at the elevator doors, furiously pushing the up arrow button, praying the damn thing would arrive before he caught up to me.

"Bella, what's wrong?" He'd made it to my side, yet all I could do was stare at the ground. He was the very last person I wanted to speak to right now. I needed Rose and Alice.

"Leave me alone," I whispered.

"What happened to you? Do you need me to call someone?"

Why was he suddenly being nice? Turning my head, I looked up at him and was caught off-guard by the sincerity behind his eyes. Oh, but I knew what an ass he could be; he couldn't fool me with his mock-sincerity. The elevator dinged and I took the opportunity to tell him to leave me alone.

"Fuck off, asshole." With my parting words, I stepped into the elevator and pushed the button for

my floor, my eyes focused on the ground, watching his shoes disappear as the doors closed.

Chapter Five Guideline 24

Guideline 24: To have a one-night-stand is disrespectful to not only the person one partakes in the act with, but also to ones self. How can a man show you respect if he has none for himself? Men who partake in one-night-stands are off-limits.

It had been an entire week since I'd seen Bella and I thought I was finally getting over the craze she created inside my head. Her eyes still haunted me at night when I'd try to sleep, but between all the work I'd been doing for the new firm and everyone's casual way of avoiding bringing Bella up in conversation, I was going about my days without constantly having her on my mind.

On Wednesday, when Bella ran into me in the lobby, I immediately knew something was wrong. Her face was so pale and her cheeks were drenched with tears, her eyes all red. There had to be something I could do to help, but she wouldn't let me. Instead, she told me to fuck off and called me an asshole. Of course I deserved it, I mean, look at the way I'd been treating her.

Instead of going out to get lunch, I called Emmett, who in turn called Rose, and then I called Alice. The three of them converged in our apartment first to hear me retell the interaction between Bella and I. Alice kept asking me what else I'd said as if I were the reason for Bella's tears. After another retelling of the story, and stressing the fact that I had done nothing wrong, the girls finally left Emmett and I alone to go check on Bella and we sat quietly in our living room, waiting for any news.

Two hours later, Rose came upstairs and told us what had happened. Her prick boss had

assaulted her and she kneed him in the balls before running off. She was afraid she'd lose her job, yet I was more concerned that she'd even want to go back. Emmett insisted on talking to Bella, but I sat behind my laptop and wrote up some more articles, tagging the hell out of them and linking to them from our blog and website; cheesy way of getting our name out there, but effective. I'd already received two calls from potential clients and set up consultations with them. In order to keep Emmett and I on the same page, we'd sat down and gone over pricing and general rules to accepting clientslet's face it, there were certain things neither of us were willing to defend and there were also certain areas we excelled at.

I was in the process of editing our business plan to include some changes we'd discussed when Emmett came home. It was now Thursday and Emmett had taken the afternoon to help Bella out at the UDub campus. Apparently, she'd gone to file a complaint against her boss but when she got there, she'd found herself being fired with the threat of legal action against her.

Emmett received her call right before lunch and as much as I knew I'd been a total dick to her, in a way I was jealous that he'd gotten the call instead of me. Really, what else should I have expected from her? There was no reason for her to even consider coming to me for help.

"How'd it go?" I asked as he sat down in one of the brand new, brown leather recliners in the living room. Instead of bringing all our belongings from Boston, we'd hired a company to sell all the furniture from our different apartments and in turn, bought new stuff out here. "It doesn't look good."

"What do you mean? She kneed him in self-defense." I knew Emmett and if he felt defeated already, then he was right; it wasn't good.

"Her boss beat her to the punch. He went into HR yesterday with a notebook full of incidents claiming Bella was harassing him."

"What?"

"The asshole had a fake history of all the times Bella supposedly sexually harassed and assaulted him. It's fully documented with dates, times, exact quotes, it's pretty sick."

"How do you know it's faked?" Okay, call me an ass, but honestly, I get paid the big bucks to ask the hard questions and taking the opposing side. Could Emmett prove the events recorded by Bella's boss were forged? If not, how in the world would he be able to prove it to someone else? I was playing devil's advocate, nothing else.

"Edward, come on. I know you don't like Bella very much, but do you honestly think she has it in her to sexually harass or assault anyone?"

"I don't know her well enough to answer that."

"Seriously?" Emmett shot up out of his chair and was instantly by my side, peering down at me.

"Do you really think she would go so far as to grab her boss's dick while he was reaching up to put books away on the bookshelf?"

"She did that?"

"No, Edward, she didn't do it, but her boss claims she didon numerous occasions."

"Prove it to me."

"What?"

"Prove to me that Bella didn't do anything he claims she did."

"I don't have the energy for your games." He sat back down in the recliner and closed his eyes. "Oh," he said, keeping his eyes closed, "I'm taking her on as a client."

"You're what? Emmett, we discussed this already, sexual harassment"

"I don't care what we've discussed. I'm taking on her case."

"Em" "Edward"

His eyes were open now and we stared at one another. Neither of us was willing to give in and though I was against him defending her, I was even more upset that she went to him for help and not me. Yes, I'd been a jerk, but there was definitely something between us. She had to have felt it too, right? I mean, the shock of energy that coursed through me from the simple touch of her skin couldn't only be felt one way, could it? And how about the pull I felt whenever she was near? I wouldn't be able to stay away from her if I was chained to a cement blockdidn't she feel the pull as well? Why did I feel so empty when she didn't show up at our little house-warming party? Why was I so obsessed with her? It actually pissed me off that she was all I was able to think about right now.

"Fine," I said, turning back to my laptop. I had too many things to do. After finishing editing our

business plan, I needed to get ready to meet with Dave and Kurt about some coverage work they'd mentioned. Things were looking up for Cullen & McCarty PLLC. Even with Emmett taking on Bella's case, which I was positive she wouldn't be able to pay us forshe was a librarian for Heaven's sakethings would be okay for our firm.

Dinner with Dave and Kurt turned into a night out at a local bar. Emmett actually managed to show up with Rosalie, meeting up with us for a few drinks. There was something scary about the beautiful, model-like blonde and adding the fact that she was Bella's roommate had me trying to ignore her all night long; the fewer reminders of Bella, the better.

Kurt and I spent our time on the dance floor with a couple of long-legged girlsa brunette and a red-head. Neither of the two were really my type, but they kept my mind off Bella and once the alcohol had clouded my judgment, I was kissing and touching the red-head. She wasn't a bad

kisser, but I found myself demanding more from her, wanting to feel something . . . something was missing. None of her touches evoked any sense of desire or need in me and my mind was constantly thinking of the plain, boring, rule-making, librarian bitch I'd been fighting so hard to forget; Bella.

Fuck Scarlett and her stupid uppity airs and rules. From glancing at her notebook briefly, I already knew I didn't fit the billshe'd dump me faster than she did the guy in the green hat who'd ordered her a drink the first night we'd met. No, that wasn't true, I'd dump her. Heck, I would never consider dating the shrew to begin with. Pushing Bella's image further into the back of my mind, I grabbed a hold of the red-head's hand and pulled her to the door of the bar. Maybe what I needed was to get laidanything to get the images of fucking a four-eyed brunette against a wall of books in a library out of my headand I didn't even know if Bella wore glasses, but in my fantasies she did.

Friday morning was a tough one. Waking up in my new bed with a naked red-head wrapped around my own naked body, while my head pounded in agony, wasn't the way I'd hoped to start my day. The red-head moaned as she snuggled in closer to me and I closed my eyes, hoping to fool her into thinking I was still asleep.

Smooth lips landed on mine and she kissed me softly before pulling away and threading her fingers into my hair. "Wake up sleepy head," she said and I rolled over onto my side, turning my back to her.

Why couldn't girls be like men? A one-night stand should be over as soon as each person had gotten off. Next time, I'd have to remember to go to the girl's place so that I could sneak out in the middle of the night.

"Wake up, Edward," the girl said into my ear and then she bit down on it.

"What the fuck?" I nearly jumped out of the bed as I pulled away from her, my hand reaching up

to rub against the bite mark in my skin.

The little bitch laughed and scooted closer to me, her hand grasping a hold of my morning wood. Why did God have to go and create such a peculiar phenomenon? I wasn't turned on or in any mood to fuck the girl again, yet she thoughtdue to my apparent statethat I was in fact ready for round two, or was it three? My memory was failing me. Maybe it was four.

"You seem to be rather excited this morning," she said as her hand gently stroked up and down my length.

I am, if nothing else, a man, and the action going on underneath my brand new sheets was starting to get a bit interesting to me. Lying back, I let the redhead take control and within minutes, her hot, wet mouth was swallowing my cock. Okay, so maybe my Friday didn't start out perfect at first, but now, with my dick down some chic's throat, I wasn't going to complain.

After all the morning niceties were over, I jumped in the shower and told Long-legs Louise to go ahead and help herself to whatever she wanted in the kitchen. Emmett was still sleeping, so I wasn't worried of him or Rosalie running into herit was quite early.

Once I was dressed and ready for my day, I ventured into the main area of the apartment and heard two female voices in the kitchen. It wasn't the end of the world. So Rosalie ran into the red-head, it wasn't as if I was celibate or anything and I didn't do this all the time. This was actually a first for me here in Seattle; a second in my entire sexual history. But something about the second voice I heard halted me in my tracks. It wasn't Rosalie in my kitchen, it was the jilted librarian; good ole' fiddle-dee-dee, Scarlet O'Hara.

Rolling my eyes, I continued into the kitchen and smirked at the two women who were sitting down at the kitchen table, each with a cup of coffee and the red-head with some cereal. "Good morning," I said, trying to keep my eyes away from the brunette. She was dressed in a pair of

tight-fitting sweats and a t-shirt with her hair pulled up in a pony tail.

"There's coffee, if you'd like," the red-head said, acting as if she belonged in my life.

I poured a cup of coffee then stood against the kitchen counter, watching the two women.

"Um, I came by to talk to Emmett," Bella said. I had figured as much, but didn't expect the truth to actually feel like a punch in my gut. Hiding the pain, I grunted at the girl.

"I'll leave," she said as she stood.

"No, don't go." Long-legs grasped onto Bella's arm and gave me a death-glare. What was this about? Were we suddenly in some type of relationship that I didn't know about? It wasn't going to happen. Never again would I play the fool in some sordid affair of the heart.

"No, let her," I said. "Emmett won't be up for a while."

Bella's jaw set at my words and she glared at me for a few seconds before a small smirk rose upon her face. "So," she said, turning her attention to Longlegs, "are you coming to my Halloween party with Edward tomorrow night?"

What the fuck? Why would she invite the girl, and as my date? Narrowing my eyes at Bella, I tried to warn her, but it was too late. The red-head was thrilled with the invitation and had already begun talking about all the fun we would have. We as if I played into the equation somehow. Oh, the librarian would pay for this.

"Edward, I've got the cutest costume idea for us." While Long-legs Louise talked, Bella smiled smugly at me, rejoicing in her victory.

"You know," I said, turning my fake sincerity toward Longlegs, "we really should find someone to set Bella up with. She's been single for too long."

"Oh, Bella, I've got just the right guy," Long-legs said.

"No, Bella isn't really into guys"

I never got to finish my sentence before Long-legs squealed and clapped her hands. "I know just the right girl!"

"Oh, no, I'm not into"

"You don't need to deny it, Bella," I said, interrupting her. "You're among friends, it's okay to be open with us."

"You're going to love her," Long-legs said and she smiled in my direction, obviously proud of the match she was concocting in her head.

Bella's eyes were seething, I didn't think I'd ever seen them as dark as they were now. Before she could lash out and correct my lies though, Emmett and Rosalie popped into the kitchen, mumbling to us. We'd obviously woken them up and upon seeing Bella, Emmett immediately

pulled her into the makeshift office we had. Once our actual office was open, we'd move everything there and then set up a gym in the third bedroom. That was the current plan, anyway, but anything was possible.

"So," Rose said, as she poured herself a cup of coffee. "You two seemed to hit it off last night."

"Edward's a wonderful guy," Long-legs gushed.

Smirking at Rose, I walked over to the red-head and planted a kiss on top of her hair. Okay, it wasn't totally red, now that I was actually looking at her hair, it was a mixture of blonde and red; strawberry blonde.

"He's bringing me to Bella's party tomorrow night." The look on Long-legs' face was disconcerting. Did something happen last night that I was unaware of? She acted as if there was a real possibility . . . no, as if we actually were a couple. Shaking my head, I took another sip of coffee and let the noise of the two women in my kitchen become muddled up as I thought of the

one thing I couldn't stop thinking about; Bella.

Seeing my Scarlet dressed so casually and with her hair pulled back gave me a whole slew of new fantasies and right now, I imagined myself pushed up against her back and pulling on her pony tail, her voice crying out from the fleeting pain as my other hand stroked over her perky breasts. Yes, they were definitely perky. There was no doubt in my mind that hidden underneath her t-shirt this morning was a perfect rack with taut, pink nipples just waiting to be sucked and bitten.

"Edward?" Long-legs' voice pulled me out of my fantasy and I looked up at her, wishing I hadn't gone to that bar last night

"Yeah?" I knew she could tell I wasn't paying attention, but I really didn't care at this point. Rose was smirking at me from across the kitchen, but I kept a smile on my face and focused on the red-head.

"I need to get going. I'll meet you here tomorrow night?"

"Um, yeah, that's good."

"What time?"

"Uh" I honestly didn't know. I hadn't even decided if I was going to make an appearance at Rose and Bella's party yet.

"The party starts at eight, so you might want to meet Edward here, at what?" Rose looked at me with a fucking twinkle in her eye. She knew I couldn't stand Long-legs. "Does seven sound good?"

"Sure," I mumbled. Long-legs wrapped her arms around me then and kissed me on the lips. The same as last night and this morning, her touch did nothing for me. "I'll miss you." She gave me one last peck and then walked out the kitchen, my eyes watching every move of her retreat, wishing it would be the last I saw of her.

Once the clicking of the front door registered in my head, I let out a sigh of reliefshe was finally gone. Not for long though, and I had Scarlet to thank for that. "You're stupid roommate's going to pay for this."

"Excuse me?" Rose's feathers stood upright as she cocked her head to peer into my eyes.

"Bella," I said, "she's the one who invited her."

"Her?"

"Long-legs . . . the, um, red-head . . ." I waved my hand in the direction of the front door and Rose started laughing.

"You don't even know her name, do you?"

"Of course I know her name, I just like to give people nicknames."

"Then what is it?"

"I don't have to prove anything to youBlondie."

"How very original of you." Rose rolled her eyes and then poured herself another cup of coffee. "So, what do you call Emmett?"

"Em." When she cocked an eye at me, I continued. "He's my best friend, he doesn't need a nickname."

"Okay, then what's Alice's."

"That's easy, but I'm also not going to tell you, she made me promise not to."

Her laugh was actually genuine and she took a hesitant sip of her hot coffee before looking up at me. "Angela?"

"Tim."

"Tim? What kind of a nickname is that?"

"It's short for Timid." I rolled my eyes, and then sat at the table, watching her, hoping she didn't ask me about Bella. I had quite a few nicknames for her, but jilted, librarian bitch wasn't something I thought Rose would take too lightly. "Jessica?" she asked.

"Will Do."

"What in the world kind of nicknames are these?"

"As in Will Do anything that shows interestdogs included."

Rose grunted. "You're a self-righteous pig."

"Now I know your nickname for me. You're not bad at this."

She sat down across from me and ran her fingers over the hot ceramic mug in her hands. "Bella?"

"You don't want to know."

"Why not?" She watched my jaw harden and then frowned. "I know you don't like her"

"Why does everyone keep saying that to me? 'I know you don't like her'," I mimicked. "What have I ever done to make anyone think that? Wasn't I the one who called Emmett and Alice when I ran into Bella on Wednesday?"

"You let her go up to our apartment alone. Why didn't you insist on being there for her?"

"She told me to fuck off, Rose. There wasn't much I thought I could insist upon."

"Which brings us back to why she told you that. You've treated her like a clump of dog shit on your shoe from day one, and that's why we all think you don't like her."

"So our personalities clash. Who the fuck cares? We're adults; we can get through life avoiding each other."

"Adults don't avoid things."

Touch. She had me there. Real adults would acknowledge their differences, but move on. They wouldn't be afraid to attend a party because the other person was going to be there, they'd show up and enjoy themselves, ignoring the other person's presence. Hell, they probably wouldn't even ignore the other person. They'd be cordial and polite. I could do that. I could be an adult in this mess.

"You're right."

"So you're going to stop provoking her?"

"I can't promise that." I really couldn't. For some reason, being in the same vicinity as Scarlet provoked me. First my mind would start to think dirty thoughts about her and I together and then I'd get angry and lash out at herit was a never ending cycle. Even now, with her a few feet away in another room, all I wanted to do was barge in and tell her to suck my dickboth

literally and figuratively. How dare she invite Long-legs to her party as my date? I wasn't over that yet.

Rose rolled her eyes and then stood up, rinsing her coffee cup out in the sink. "I don't know what Emmett sees in you."

"There's the beauty of it all, Hot Stuff, Emmett and I are guys, we relate on an entirely different level."

"Hot Stuff?"

"It could've been worse."

Her eyebrow lifted as she glared at me but then she exhaled loudly and I noticed her shoulders actually shrink a bit as she relaxed herself. "Tell Emmett I went home."

"My pleasure."

Rolling her eyes, she turned toward the exit and walked away, leaving me thinking about my bad attitude since coming to Seattle. This wasn't who I wasnot normally. Six months ago, I was a pretty positive person and probably would've found Bella's rule-making to be charming. I probably would've tried hard to meet her requirements too; her pull on me was that strong. Not now, not this Edward; I was a changed man now.

Somehow, six months and one man-eating whore later, I was the epitome of a prick, and for some reason, I'd unleashed everything out on my Scarlet. Okay, not everythingI had been holding back a littlebut almost everything. There were times when words came out of my mouth and inside I cringed from self-hatred, knowing I shouldn't be saying those things. How could I treat another person that way, let alone a woman? My parents had taught me better.

The office door creaked open and I heard Bella talking softly to Emmett. Wanting one more glance at her, I walked into the living room and sat on the couch with a perfect view of the

hallway. Emmett's arm was around her shoulders and she was giggling as she looked up at him, leaning into his side. Was she flirting with him? Her roommate was dating the guy and she was flirting with him? The insanity that had been crowding my mind since before I left Boston filtered through me once more. Not only was she a jilted, librarian bitch, but she was also a slut; a slutty, jilted, librarian bitch. I wouldn't be surprised if she'd given Emmett a blowjob while they were in the officeand to think that Rose was sitting in my kitchen the whole time!

Lifting on her toes, Bella placed a kiss on Emmett's cheek and I rolled my eyes. She said a quiet goodbye to him and then she looked up at me. "Good bye, Edward." Again with the politenessI wasn't fooled. Even she had been polite when we'd first met. "Yeah, see you tomorrow."

She looked at me then with her sad eyes and for a moment, I wanted to envelop her in my arms. Crossing my arms over my chest, I stared back at her, waiting to see what she was going to say.

Her mouth opened, then closed, and I sighed, waiting. A small smile lit up her face then and she turned to Emmett.

"I'm sorry I interrupted your morning with Rose."

"No problem, Bells."

Bells? As in, ringing bells? My nicknames for her were much better.

"Thanks for your help."

After she left, Emmett sat down in his chair and closed his eyes. "Don't let me drink that much again," he said, his right hand rubbing his temple.

"Those guys can put them away, huh?" Dave and Kurt could drink us both under the table. We were definitely out of practice.

"No more drinking like that on work nights. I've got a lot of phone calls to make."

"How long have you been screwing the shrew?" Now probably wasn't the best time to bring this up. No time was probably best, but I wanted to know.

"What?" His eyes jolted open and he stared at me with rage, his eyes practically protruding from their sockets. "Don't ever call Rose that again."

"I'm not talking about Blondie, I mean Bella. How"

"What the hell has happened to you? You know Bella and I are just friends." He sat up in his chair and rubbed both his temples now.

Was he being honest with me? Back in Boston, it wasn't anything out of the ordinary for him to be screwing more than one girl at a time, but he'd never tried it with friends beforeespecially roommates. That shit was too risky, even for him. "What's with all the flirting then?"

"Oh God, Edward. I was hoping a little pussy action would mellow you out some, but apparently

that didn't happen." Shaking his head, he exhaled loudly and then looked up at me, keeping his eyes on mine. "Bella's like a little sister to me. I don't know why, but I feel protective of her, and not in a romantic way. I mean, she's hotdon't get me wrongbut I don't feel that way for her."

"Right," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Don't you get it? Rose has me whooped so bad right now, I don't see anyone else." Was he for real? Emmett only wanted one girl? This was a new development. "So the kiss on the cheek?"

"Was nothing, we're friendsthat's all." His eyes narrowed. "What's it to you anyway? You can't stand her"

"I never said that."

"Of course you did. The first night you met her, you went on and on about how much you hated her . . . wait, you don't hate her at all, do you?"

"Fuck off," I said, rising from the couch and heading to my room. There was no way I was going to sleep in those nasty sheets tonight; I needed to do a load of laundry.

"Classic! Edward's got a crush on the rule-making librarian." He laughed rather obnoxiously. "How many rules do you actually think you meet? Oh, we should bet on this! Rose is gonna love this one."

Poking my head out my bedroom door, I imagined daggers shooting out my eyes as I glared at him. "You better not say a word to Rose about this, I"

"So it's true? You've got the hots for the librarian?"

"No."

He laughed louder as he waddledyes, I was now at the point of making fun of my best frienddown the hallway to the bathroom. "This is good, Edward, I'm serious. You need to get

back out there." His smile grew as he paused outside the bathroom. "You've got a crush on Bella."

"Oh, fuck off." I slammed my door shut and sat on the empty bed. Looking down at the mattress, I realized I'd need to spray some type of disinfectant on the damn thing. That just led to images of Bella sprawled out on my bed, wrapped in my bed sheets, her legs exposed all the way up to her thigh, giving me enough of a view to imagine how pink and full her lower lips would look right before I reached my tongue out and slid it up her slit. God, I bet she'd taste amazing.

Chapter Six Guideline 20

Guideline 20: A guy who talks about sex after only knowing you a short time is only after one thing. Steer clear of him!

Rose woke me early on Saturday morning so we could start cleaning our apartment and decorating for our annual Halloween party. This was always one of my favorite times of year. All five of us enjoyed dressing up and partying together on Halloween.

"Emmett's picking up the keg right after lunch," Rose said as I inventoried our stash of alcohol. With our current stock, one of us would need to make a run to the liquor store. I wondered if Emmett would be willing to do that when he picked up the keg.

"Cool." I added the alcohol to our list of things we still needed to get and scowled down to the one thing on my list I was dreading having to do. My original idea for a costume was to go as Charlie Brown on Halloween. I'd already cut the plethora of holes in a plain white sheet and had

a brown paper bag full of rocks ready to go. Unfortunately, I knew I couldn't stay covered up underneath a sheet all night.

"Rose?" I asked, walking into her bedroom where she was setting out her costume for the evening.

"Yeah?"

"I need to run out and get a costume"

"I thought you said you already had an idea."

"I did, but I don't think it would be appropriate to hide under a sheet all night." I loved my idea, but I knew I'd get annoyed with not being able to see very well and I also should be recognizable, considering I was one of the hosts.

Rose snorted then went to her closet. "I've got all my past costumes in here somewhere," she said, pulling a box down from her closet shelf and sifting through it. Most of the items she

dragged out looked more like lingerie to me, but I did remember her wearing them at previous years' parties.

"Ooh, I love this one!" she said, holding up a green tube top that said 'Party Police' across the front and a pair of skin-tight black short-shorts.

"Uh, do you have anything that wouldn't reveal as much?"

After pulling out a few more things, she held up a dark blue dress and black petticoat. "I wore this the year Jessica got caught in the bathroom with Jeremy," she said, chuckling.

Yeah, I remembered that party. Jessica was dating a guy named Jason at the time and he walked in on her getting rammed from behind by his very own twin brother. She claimed to not know she was with the wrong twin, but I had my suspicions to the contrary. So did Jason.

"This'll be perfect," I said. "Do you have all the accessories still?"

"Yeah, they're in here somewhere. I think I used them with another outfit once . . . oh, here."

Taking the bag of accessories along with the blue dress and black petticoat, I went into my room and lay on my bed. All morning, while we'd been cleaning, I'd been thinking about the story I was writing and I was desperate to get some writing time in, so I pulled my laptop out and got to work. It was about two hours later when I heard men's voices in the living room and I knew immediately it was Emmett and Edward. My heart started pounding loudly in my ears and a wave of heat spread through my body. I wanted to dash out and say hi, maybe get a couple of verbal blows in on Edward, but I fought the urge, knowing every time I spoke with him I ended up angry or upset and I didn't want to ruin my dayat least not yet. I'd see him soon enough at the party.

Due to my parents' ineptness in the kitchen, Isurprisingly was a great cook. So, while Rose ran all the errands outside of the house, I kept the keg chilled on ice and made a veggie tray; beer

bread; the classic Halloween finger cookies; my favorite blood cookies; and a few dips for chips and the beer bread. Alice, Angela, and Jessica were each bringing a dish or two with them along with some candy, so we should be set.

Right as I was getting ready to change into my costume, Alice arrived, dressed as Chiquita Banana in a cute bikini and floral wrap with a beehive made out of fruit on her head and extremely heavy makeup. I couldn't hold in my laughter when I wrapped my arms around her.

"You aren't dressed yet," she said with a pout.

"I was just about to get ready," I said, peeking out into the hall. "Where's Jasper?"

"He went upstairs to check on the guys. Now, you go get dressed and I'll finish up in the kitchen."

It didn't take me long to get ready because I had everything laid out. I wore fishnet stockings

under the blue dress and black petticoat with a police officer's hat on top of my head and a fake, plastic badge pinned to the small amount of fabric that made up the shoulder of the dress. It was hard to decide which shoes to wear, but I knew if I didn't go with the knee-high, black leather boots with a 2-inch heel, Alice would march me right back into my room and put them on for me, so on the boots went. At my waist were a pair of pink feathery handcuffs and if it weren't for the fact that Rose would insist I have them displayed, I would've kept them hidden under my bed or something. The outfit actually came with normal, metal handcuffs but Roseof coursewent out and bought the pink feather ones.

Upon exiting my room, I realized Rose was in her room getting ready and I smiled, imagining Emmett's look when he saw her. They hadn't told each other what they were going to be, so he was going to be pleasantly surprised to see her dressed as an old-school Playboy bunnyat least she hoped he would be.

Jessica was in the kitchen with Alice when I entered and the three of us laughed and admired each other's costumesJess was dressed as a vampire, I think. She didn't wear any fangs, but she, like Rose, was obsessed with the sparkling vampires and I think she was dressed as a character from the books.

"So?" Rose asked as she walked into the kitchen and turned in a slow circle. Her perfect curves were covered in a black leotard with a pink, fluffy tail right on her firm booty, and her legs were covered with a pair of pink fishnet stockings and black high heels on her feet. She wore a pair of bunny ears and her blonde curls bounced against her shoulders when she moved. She looked better than any of the Playboy bunnies I'd ever seen in pictures.

"Emmett's a lucky man," I said with a wink.

"Speaking of Emmett, where are the boys?" Jessica asked. "My date should be here in about twenty minutes." Ah, Jessica's date was more of a way for her to show Edward up; at least that's

what I'd gathered from her ramblings. At first, all Jess talked about was how great a kisser Edward was but now she cursed his name repeatedly. Apparently, he'd been ignoring her since Alice's little get-together a few weeks ago.

Glancing at the microwave clock, Rose shrugged her shoulders. "Emmett should be down here soon, but I'm not sure about Edward."

At the mention of Alice's brother, my mood took a turn for the worse, so I changed the subject. "I want to know where Angela and Ben are." A knock sounded on the door as soon as I finished speaking and I smiled. "Speak of the devil"

At the door were a pregnant nun and a priestAngela and Benand I laughed as I gave each of them a hug while letting them in. "Ben," I said, motioning Angela to the kitchen with her food. "Can you pick out some music for us? And by the way, you're a gorgeous nun. It's too bad Angela compromised you before I got the chance."

With Ben in the living room playing with Rose's iPod, the five of us girls finished up in the kitchen and I looked around, smiling. These four other women and I had been together for years, the best of friends, through thick and thin. Sure, I had my mom and dad, but other than them, these four ladies were my only family and I was lucky to have them.

Not long after the food was all in place, Emmett and Jasper arrived and I almost peed my pants. It's hard to say whose costume was better, they were so different. Emmett was a hotdog vendor in a red and white striped outfit and a tray of hotdogs hanging around his neck, down at the level of hisahemnether regions. There were five fake hotdogs on the tray and the one in the middle was flesh colored, giving off the impression of it being something entirely differentuse your imagination to fill in the 'different'. Jasper, on the other hand, seemed to be wearing two different costumes, and together, they worked perfectly. He was dressed as Elvis Presley in a banana costume. He even did a great

Elvis impersonation, which had Alice staring up at him adoringly. The two of them were so cute togetherI envied them.

I envied both them and Emmett and Rose, honestly. It was amazing how with one simple meeting, these two couples just happened; both Alice and Rose found the men of their dreams. I wanted that. A small section of my heart started yearning for my very own Mr. Darcy again and I had to physically tear my eyes away from the happy couples before I drove myself crazy and let the emptiness envelop me. There was someone out there for me, I just had to find the right guy and then work on a relationship with him.

"Where's Edward?" Alice asked Jasper over the loud thumping of the music Ben picked out. Several more people had shown up, most of them I hadn't seen since last year's Halloween party, but Edward had yet to venture down. Maybe he wouldn't show.

"Some girl was trying to get him to put on a Tarzan outfit and he was being stubborn," Jasper

said and I stifled a giggleI had forgotten about inviting his little friend, Tanya.

Rose began to laugh and grabbed a hold of Alice's shoulder with her free handher other one held a big red cup full of beer. "He doesn't even know the girl's name."

"Who doesn't?" I asked, unsure of who she was talking about.

"Edward. He met Tanya in a bar the other night and he couldn't remember her name." Her eyes widened and she smiled mischievously. "Don't tell him, okay? He's got some crazy nickname for herLong Legs, or something like that."

"Eew" Alice frowned. "I never thought my brother was that kind of guy."

Rolling my eyes, I walked away.

"What does that mean, Swan?"

Turning, I glared at Alice. Was she really calling me out for that? Edward had been in Seattle for a little over a month already and she hadn't noticed what a prick he was yet? For real? "Nothing," I mumbled and then turned away to talk to some girls from Jessica's office.

There were a lot of people I had never met before at the party, and before long, I was enjoying myself. Jake was supposed to come to the party with me, and that fact alone had my mood down at the beginning of the day. It had been hard for me to break things off with Jake because I had really started to like himI'd started to get excited about himand was devastated that he broke one of my guidelines.

Maybe my standards were too rigid? No, definitely not. Looking up at the guy I was speaking to, I realized it was good to have standards. Did he really just tell me he spends a lot of time playing online role playing games?

"It was nice meeting you Randy," I said with a fake smile, "but I have to check on the food." The

best part of being one of the hosts was the list of excuses I could pull out of my hat whenever I needed to get away from someone.

It had been a couple hours since the first slew of people had arrived, so checking on the food wasn't a bad idea. The dining room was empty, but the evidence of partygoers could be seen in the dirty plates, empty cups, and half-empty serving trays left on the table.

"Let me guess," a familiar, sexy voice said from directly behind me, and I practically jumped as I turned to face Edward. "You have a rule against guys and online gaming?"

"You were listening to our conversation?" The man in front of me looked absolutely amazing dressed like James Dean from "Rebel Without A Cause". He wore a tight, white t-shirt under a partially zipped, black leather jacket with a pair of jeans rolled up on the bottoms. It was hard to be mad at him when he looked so good.

"Someone had to, you looked absolutely bored."

Let me try that again; it was easy to be mad at him when he acted like such a dickregardless of how hot he looked. "Is it my fault I don't find the guy interesting? Am I expected to grab every random man who speaks to me and pull them back into my bedroom?" I threw my hands up in the air as I spoke, and then turned around toward the table, gathering up the dirty plates and empty cups. "I'm not like you, Edward."

"And how exactly am I?"

As suddenly as I turned to look at him, Tanya walked into the dining room with a blonde on her arm. Tanya was dressed as Jane, Tarzan's girlfriend, and her friend wore a skimpy negligee. She wasn't dressed as anyone in particular; she just wore something one would wear to bed with a lover.

"Bella!" Tanya said, interrupting mine and Edward's conversationif you could call it that. "I want you to meet my friend, Irina."

Shit, I had totally forgotten about Edward telling her I was a lesbian. Holding out my hand, I grasped a hold of Irina's and shook it lightly. "It's nice to meet you, Irina."

"Likewise," she said and I heard Edward chuckle a little.

"Edward," I said, turning a sweet, syrupy smile on him. "Could you please finish cleaning up in here so Irina and I can spend some time alone?" He was such an asshole and I hoped he'd feel obligated to spend his time cleaning since I asked him to in front of his date. Actually, he probably wouldn't care. "Thanks." With one last smile in his direction, I winked at Tanya and grabbed Irina by her arm, pulling her with me to the living room. "I'm sorry," I said close to Irina's ear, hoping she wouldn't get the wrong impression. I only wanted to speak quietly so no one around us would hear. "I don't know what Tanya told you, but I'm not interested in women." Turning to face her, I tried to smile apologetically, but the smirk on her face confused me.

"No need to apologize. One look at you and I knew you weren't gay."

Were we allowed to say that word? I had always steered clear of it, afraid to offend someone. "Oh." It was all I could get out, I was too shocked and unsure of what else to say.

"Don't worry about anything, Bella, you don't have to babysit me or keep me company"

"It's not like that," I protested, thinking she thought I was trying to get rid of her, which now that I thought about it, maybe I was. "I just don't know"

"There're a couple ladies here I'd like to get to know a little better."

Following her eyes, I noticed her staring at one of Jessica's friends from work and my eyes grew wide. "Really?"

"You couldn't tell?" Her voice sounded playful, and I was so glad she wasn't offended.

"No, I guess I don't have that . . . um . . ."

"Gaydar?" She giggled before leaning in to give me a hug. "I'm glad I got to meet you, Bella. Thanks for letting me crash your party." When she pulled back, she winked at me and then walked over to Jessica's friend and I watched with a smile on my face as they seemed to hit it off.

Everyone seemed to be having a great time, and I found myself pulled in every direction as I was introduced to more new people, played around with old friends, and got to know Emmett and Jasper better. For the most part, Edward stayed away from me, but every time I looked up, he was staring at me. Ignoring him was the only defense I could come up with, so that's what I did.

"You aren't into that stupid vampire movie, are you?" a guy named Eric asked and I smiled up at him.

"That depends on which vampire movie you're referring to. I do have a thing for blood and gore but sparkling vampires don't interest me." This guy didn't seem too bad, but he had pretty bad acneeven in his twentiesand I knew it shouldn't be a turn-off, but it was.

"Oh, thank God! Every girl I meet lately has some huge crush on that guy."

Laughing, I looked up to find Rose, knowing full-well she was one of those girls. "I'm more into the Isaiah Strong vampires." "I love his books! What do you think about Henry and Eleanor? He writes some pretty hot sex scenes, huh?"

First it was the bad, oily skin, and now he mentioned sex? There wasn't any guideline about pimples in my book, but mentioning sex on or before the third date was a definite turn offand no, that didn't mean I would have sex with someone on the third date, it just meant that bringing it up in conversation before then seemed a bit creepy to meit made me feel uncomfortable.

"Shoot," I muttered, my eyes darting over to the kitchen, "I forgot to get something for Alice. I'll see you later?" Okay, I wasn't planning on speaking to him again, but it was the polite thing to say, right? He nodded and I took off toward the kitchen.

As I walked through the crowded living room, I noticed Edward by the front door speaking to Jasper with Tanya hanging on his arm. His eyes lifted to watch my retreat and he raised an eyebrow before pointedly looking between me and Eric with a smirk on his face. That self-righteous prick!

After cleaning up the empty cups and more dirty dishes in the kitchen and dining roomI was trying to keep up with the mess, hoping it wouldn't be so bad in the morning if I didI ventured back into the living room to see what was going on. By now, most of the costumes were starting to be discarded for normal jeans and t-shirts which some people wore underneath. Masks lay on the coffee table and couch and other accessories, like my police officer hat and someone's sword,

were actually on the floor.

"Hey gorgeous."

Turning, I looked up at a tall, dark-haired man wearing a Darth Vader costume without the mask. "Do I know you?" I asked, a bit peeved he'd called me gorgeous, but I was hoping he had me confused with someone else since my back had been turned to him.

"Not yet."

Oh, brother, why did guys assume they were God's gift to women when they were drunk? "Not ever," I stated before turning back around and running right into the hard chest of James Dean, err, I mean, Edward.

"You okay?" he asked as he grabbed my arms to steady me.

"Yeah, I'm fine." We stared at each other, neither of us sure of what to say or do. For some

reason, my body didn't want to move from his vicinity, especially since his hands were still grasped around my upper arms, shooting tingly, hot flashes of energy into my skin.

"That guy didn't say anything rude to you, did he?"

"What?" I turned my head back to Darth Vader and then to Edward, aware my nose was scrunched up from my confusion. "Why would you ask that?" "Because you looked like you wanted to slap him across the face."

"Oh, well, yeah, I did," I said, wondering why he was being nice and why I was letting him. "Well, I didn't," I then corrected as I realized I wasn't expressing myself clearly. "I mean, I wanted to slap him, but I didn't."

The smug look that rose in Edward's eyes immediately jolted me out of my funk and I scowled at him. What was he trying to prove, anyway? "Um, thanks," I muttered before walking away, still unsure as to why he'd been somewhat nice.

"Bella!" Irina said as I started to walk past her. She had one arm around Jess's friendwhose name I still couldn't rememberand her other arm around some guy who actually didn't look that bad. He must've been one of the mask wearers because I'm sure I'd of noticed him earlier, had I seen his face.

"Hey Irina." Taking the two steps needed in her direction, I stopped in front of the trio and smiled at the two people by Irina's sides.

"Let me introduce you to Kimber and Felix."

"Felix?" I asked, a bit disturbed by his name. The only Felix I knew was on a 1970's sitcom, "The Odd Couple".

"Uh, yeah," he said, "my parents are a bit old fashioned."

Now I felt bad, but it still didn't change my dislike of his name. "That explains it," I said with a

small laugh, hoping to cut through the awkwardness. Irina pulled away from him then, and walked away with Kimber, leaving me and Felix alone. "That was subtle," I mumbled to myself, but Felix laughed.

"Yeah, sorry about that." He looked down at his feet, then back up at me, his face flushedwas he shy? "I saw you talking with her earlier and asked if she'd introduce us."

Now this was how a man should act. If a guy wanted to meet a girl, getting someone to introduce them was the best way to go about things, not walking up to them and calling them gorgeous, like Darth Romeo did earlier.

"How did you hear about the party?" I was suddenly curious as to whom he knew here; how he came to be in my house.

"This could get a bit confusing," he said. "Do you see that girl over there?" He pointed to a tall brunette dressed as a hula dancer.

"Yeah." "Well, she's my sister and the guy she's talking to"

"Ben."

"Yeah, Ben," he said with a smile back at me. "Well, Ben and my sister are old friends and the girl he's dating now"

"Angela."

"Right." He gave me a weird look, as if he didn't know how I knew Ben and Angela's names. "Well, Angela came with Ben and told him to invite my sister, who in turn, asked if she could invite me."

"Well I'm glad you made it." It was my turn to be the shy one, as I felt the flood of heat filter up my cheeks. I was sure my face was beet red now.

"So, how did you end up here tonight?"

I smirked. "I'm here every night."

"This is your party?" He looked around the room and then back at me, as if trying to picture me here, in my apartment, without the dark, black lights and crowd of twenty-something's creating chaos.

"Guilty as charged," I said and then felt like a fool, considering I was dressed as a police officer.

Felix and I spent the next hour or so lost in conversation. Talking with him was extremely easy and never felt weird or forced. Every so often, I'd look up at what was going on around us, and like earlier in the evening, Edward was always staring at me or Felix. A couple times, Edward even winked at me and I had to fight the reflex that wanted to roll my eyes at him, afraid Felix would think I was rolling them at him.

What thrilled me about Felix the most though, was that we were sitting very close to each other

on the couch, but he never once tried to touch me in any way that would make me feel uncomfortable. He never put his arm around me, touched my hair, or even put his hand on my thigh, which I'd had guys I'd just met do to me before. Sensing my boundaries, he respected me and them by being a perfect gentleman.

"Hey guys," the now annoyingly familiar voice of Edward said as I felt the couch dip down beside me and Edward's side brush up against mine.

This time, I did roll my eyes before giving Felix an apologetic look, but he wasn't looking at me, he was reaching over and shaking hands with Edward, as if they were old friends or something.

"I see you've met our host," Edward said to Felix with a wink and I wanted to slap him. What did that mean? "Shouldn't you be taking care of your girlfriend?" I asked Edward, turning my eyes toward Tanya, who was too drunk to stand up on her own. She was leaning against the wall, her head

back, and face extremely pale. If she puked in my living room, I was going to kill Edward.

"Come on, Bella, you know I don't have a girlfriend." He slid his arm around my shoulder, as if we were close friends and I pulled away from him, practically hitting Felix in the process since we were so close on the couch. I was actually starting to feel claustrophobic between the two.

Making my voice sugary sweet, I gave Edward a wide smile first before asking, "Oh, so you're just fucking her then?"

Watching the twitch in his jaw was worth being openly rude in front of Felix. Yes, I liked Felix, but if he wasn't interested anymore because I was rude to Edward, I'd get over it. Edward deserved every bit of hostility.

Luckily for Edwardand for meEdward's cell phone rang, and he bolted off the couch to answer it. The look on his face when he read the caller ID scared the shit out of me and I

immediately wondered who could arouse that kind of anger in him. I'd made him mad numerous times, but never had I ever seen the murderous look in his eyes as I did just then.

"He's a great guy," Felix said as he watched Edward's retreat and I turned to him, shocked.

"For real?"

"Yeah, well, he saw me watching you earlier and gave me some pointers on getting to know you."

"He did?" What game was Edward playing?

"Um, yeah, he said he was one of your best friends and that he wanted to see you happy and" Felix's face turned pale. "He's not a friend of yours, is he?" When I shook my head, he continued. "Ex-boyfriend?"

I snorted. "As if! No, Edward and I have a mutual . . . dislike for each other."

"Oh." He looked deep in thought and I wondered what was going on in his mind.

"Do you mind if I ask what advice he gave you?"

"Nothing major, just a few rules to follow when talking to you."

Oh, brother, what the hell did Edward do now? "What kind of rules?"

"Um, well, he told me to have someone, besides him, introduce me to you and to talk openly and honestly with you, always looking in your eyes." Felix shrugged and then looked at the hallway where Edward had disappeared down. "He said not to touch you in any way and to keep a proper distance between us." He blushed, probably from realizing we were sitting a bit too close together. "It was strange, actually. He told me to not fidget and to not look at any other girls around me"

"That asshole," I muttered as I stood up. "I'm sorry Felix, but I've got to take care of something." Everything Edward had told Felix, especially the fidgeting and distance parts, made me wonder how many of my guidelines he knew about. Who had been talking to him about them? Alice; it had to be her.

The hallway was pretty empty since our bathroom was the first door on the right and we had put up a rope just beyond it, blocking our personal rooms, and hoping everyone would respect the barrier. Edward had obviously crossed the rope, but that wasn't what fuelled my anger at the moment. My room was empty, so I continued down the hall toward Rose's, whose door was open. I could hear Edward's voice inside the dark room, so I stopped near the doorway and stood quietly, listening in.

"It's done, the paper's signed" There was a sound from his throat that sounded like a grunt and then I could've sworn I heard him sigh, but wasn't sure. "I don't know how you found this

number, but if you ever call again, so help me, you'll be sorry you ever heard my name."

Was that a threat? What exactly would he do to the person on the other line? A part of me was curious about the conversation, wondering if it had anything to do with why he left Boston so drastically, but another part of me couldn't care less about his troubles. Well, maybe that part did care, only not in the way a friend would. That small part of me hoped the person called back. A snide smile crept onto my face and I almost giggled. Holding my hands against my mouth, I tiptoed back to the party and mingled within the crowd as I watched the entrance to the hallway.

It was a few minutes later when Edward emerged from down the hall, his hairwhich had been combed neatly earlier in the nightstanding out at odd angles, as if he had been pulling on it. The hard set of his jaw concerned me a little, as did the powerful stare from his dark eyes that scanned over the room quickly, as if he were looking for something, or someone. He paused a

moment when his gaze connected with mine, but he showed no recognition of who I was before continuing with his perusal. Then he bolted toward the door to my apartment and walked out without a word to anyone, not even a "thank you" to Rose for inviting him to the party, or a "goodbye" to his sister.

Chapter Seven Guideline 37

Guideline 37: The brownish-black ick under one's fingernails makes me wonder how often they wash their hands during the dayeven worse, how often do they bathe? At the first sign of uncleanliness, dump him!

The tension between Bella and her boss as they sat across from each other at the conference table was suffocating. I didn't want to be here, it wasn't something I'd even planned on doing, but Emmett had gotten sick the night before and here I was, sitting across from the University of Washington's legal counsel with Bella at my side.

Not only was Bella nervous as hell, she also hadn't spoken to me since the Halloween party and she hadn't said more than a couple words to me yet today. At the table for the University were three lawyers, the head of their HR department, Victoria, and Bella's ex-boss, James, who also had his own, private counsel in tow. There were only two of us on our side and I could hear Bella's heart pounding next to me.

There hadn't been much time for me to go over the entire case last night or this morning, so I was practically half asleep and half awarenot a good combination. Emmett was good at his job, but he was a terrible note taker, so I had to keep waking him up to ask him questions last night, to

which I received mumbled, fuddled answers, confusing me all the more.

Even without knowing the entire facts of the case, I could tell right awayfrom the looks between James and the HR girl, Victoria, something else was going on. After scanning through my notes to see if Emmett made any mention of Victoria, I came across the other librarian, Sarah's, name and noticed it was the only place Emmett had scribbled Victoria's name down.

"Bella," I whispered before the meeting officially began. "Do you know much about Victoria?"

She shook her head, her eyes wide and scared and I felt horrible for her. Not only was she in an awkward situation to be sitting across the table from a man that sexually harassed her and was claiming that it was she who was doing the harassing on him, but she also had to put her trust in me, who'd been nothing but an ass to her for the past couple of months. I'd never seen her look so vulnerable before.

"How does she fit into all of this?"

"She's the one who fired me," she whispered and I could see she was desperately trying to hold back her tears.

The meeting started shortly after and I listened to everything being said, every accusation by James and Victoria, who now seemed to have more to say than she originally let on. I'd read through the entire log that James claimed to have kept over the duration of Bella's so-called harassment of him last night and started to get confused from the timeline that Victoria was now depicting. Taking a few notes about her contradictions, I allowed everything to move forward. When they got to James' recollection of the incidents, I watched his poise and eye contact, noticing how he smirked and stared right at Bella as he spoke with almost what looked to be a celebratory expressionhe was enjoying Bella's discomfort. Wanting to try and protect Bella from the cad, I placed my arm across the back of her chair and leaned closer to her, but she leaned away from me.

James mentioned a slew of men whom Bella had coming into the library, trying to point out how she was a substandard employee, due to her 'boyfriends' constantly distracting her and I took note of it, confused as to why he'd say such a thing. If anyone knew Bella, they'd know she didn't waste time with boys. But then again, maybe the library was where she did her interrogation of her potential boyfriends.

Everything seemed to drag on and eventually we took a break. I escorted Bella to a small room, wanting to ask her a few questions. I was unprepared for this case and felt as if I were letting her down. "You need to talk to me," I said, leaning forward to make her look at me. "I know we haven't gotten along in the past, but I need you to trust me."

"Trust you?"

I took a deep breath and continued. "Bella, I need you to clarify some things for me."

"Okay." Her teeth attacked her lower lip and I swallowed hard, trying to keep my librarian fantasies at bayat least for the moment.

"Victoria mentioned you and Sarah talking about James a lot during your breaks."

Her face contorted into an over-exaggerated look of annoyance. "Yes, we did, but I don't know how she'd know that."

"What did you two talk about?"

"He never bothered me at first," she said, her eyes focused on the ground. "It was after she was fired that he moved on to me."

"Listen Bella, right now they're building things up to look as if you and Sarah plotted this entire thing out."

"What?" Her eyes darkened as a look of panic crossed her face. "That's not what we talked about. I swear, Edward, you have to believe me."

"I do believe you," I said, unsure as to how I was going to get her out of this mess. "I need to know what your relationship with James was like before Sarah was fired. If he wasn't harassing you then, how did he treat you? Was he cordial but distant, friendly, indifferent?"

"We were actually friendly with each other." "Friendly?" That was a shock. From the way he glared at Bella, I assumed he'd always treated her poorly.

"Well, we weren't best friends, obviously, but we joked around a lot. I'd tell him about the guys I dated and he'd tell me about the girls" She stopped talking abruptly.

"What's wrong?"

"Victoria."

"What about her?"

"I think he mentioned her to me."

"What did he say?"

"I don't . . . I mean, it was a long time ago."

"I need you to try and remember," I said.

"Well, a lot of our conversations were actually through email"

"Email?" Lifting up my briefcase, I pulled out my laptop and opened it up. "What email program do you use?"

"Comcast," she whispered as she leaned closer and my heart started pounding. She'd just voluntarily leaned into me, her arm even brushed up against mine.

After opening up Comcast's homepage, I turned the laptop toward her and motioned for her to log in.

"I . . . I'm not sure if I kept them," she said, her fingers gliding over the keys as she quickly, and without looking, logged into her email account. She scrolled through her emails, ordering them by the sender's name and I looked over her shoulder, unsure if she'd let me watch. "No, there's nothing here, I must've deleted them all when he started being a jerk."

"How about your sent folder?"

"Huh?"

"Did you delete everything you sent to him?"

"I don't know." Her fingers moved and she started scrolling down through her sent folder as I looked on. Finally, she leaned back in her chair and I got a faint whiff of strawberries as she flung her hair back behind her shoulder with a smug smile on her face. "There're so many of them." For the first time today, she sounded hopeful. "Then, let's start from the end and work our way"

"What am I looking for?"

"Would you rather me filter through them?" It was a horrible suggestion considering we could barely be civil to one another for even the smallest amount of timeI was shocked we hadn't started insulting each other yet.

She gave me a look that put me in my place and I rolled my eyes at her as I continued to look over her shoulder as she filtered through her sent emails to James, which in most cases included histories of their email correspondence. Every time they replied to each other, they included the previous emails they replied to, giving us James' emails to Bella as well. We didn't have much time, so I tried to rush her, but at the same time, I was reading everything I could, taking in everything they'd written to each other. They discussed a lot about their dating lives, which I found to be odd, especially when I noticed that James had even joked with her in some emails about her rules.

"What exactly does James know about your rules?"

"I don't have rules," she stated, turning to face me, "and it's none of your business."

"Right now, Bella, you can't afford to pick and choose what you think is important."

Her eyes narrowed on me and then she turned back toward the laptop and sighed. "James and I used to laugh about all the idiots we dated." She shook her head at some memory and then looked back at me. "He knew everything; he'd even helped make some of my guidelines up."

"Did you tell this to Emmett?" This was something that should've been in Emmett's notes, and I didn't remember reading anything about this at all.

Frowning, she said, "Unlike you, Emmett isn't obsessed with my dating guidelines."

What was that supposed to mean, 'unlike me'? "I take it that's a no?"

"No," she stated slowly, as if I were mentally incapable of comprehending her words, "I did not discuss my guidelines with Emmett."

It was becoming painfully evident why Bella and I didn't get along. The embittered, bitchy, librarian was resurfacing. I preferred the vulnerable, quiet defendant I'd sat next to only a few minutes before.

"It seems you were closer to him than you originally let on." I really didn't mean anything by the words, I was only making an observation, but her body froze and pulled away from mine. Had I added bipolar to the list of my Scarlet's wonderful attributes yet? "Exactly how close were you?" I asked, sick of trying to tiptoe around her. No matter what I said or did, she got offended, so why bother trying to ask nicely any more. "Did the two of you ever date?"

"No." The look in her eyes was one of disgust.

"Did he come onto you?"

"Of course he did," she said, the small square of skin between her eyes, puckered up. "That's what this is all about. He wouldn't stop coming onto me and I eventually kneed him in the ballsor didn't you get to that part of Emmett's notes?"

"Look, I'm trying to help you out here, Bella, but if you keep any information backanything at allI can't do that. No matter how small or trivial you think something is, I need to know about itI need to know everything about you and James."

Her shoulders slumped forward a bit and she turned her face to stare at the screensaver that now covered the screen on my laptop. "He asked me out on a date my first day of work and I turned him downI don't date people I work with." She looked at me then and grimaced. "Number 11.

"Everything was fine after that though. I explained to him about my guidelines for dating and he got a big laugh out of it all, and that's the kind of relationship we had. He never came onto me

back then, other than the one time asking me out. We actually got along great until Sarah confided in me about her troubles with him."

"Is that what you and Sarah talked about? What he was doing to her?"

"Yes." She bit at her lower lip again and I felt the pull to reach out and save the soft skin from the attack, but I held back. "It took longer for Sarah and I to form any sort of relationship. We barely worked the same shift and when we did, I was usually goofing around with James, so Sarah stayed away from me, unsure if I was friend or foe." She looked up at me. "Of course I wasn't a foe, I never knew what was going on, but when she finally confided in me, I stopped the friendly banter with James, and talked Sarah into reporting him."

"Emmett spoke with her and she had nothing but kind words to say about you. Do you keep in touch?"

"Not really."

"Why not?"

She shrugged. "We were work friends, nothing more."

"So, after" A knock on the door interrupted my question and I looked at my watchwe'd gone over the 15 minute break time. Hastily putting my laptop back in my bag, I then stood with her and ushered her out of the room and down the hall, back into the conference room.

There was a lot going through my mind as I sat and stared at the other lawyers at the table. There were too many loose ends and contradictory statements said by both James and Victoria. Add to that the stuff Bella had just told me and my head swam with information as I tried to piece it all together.

Starting out, I laid in on Victoria's description of events, calling her out on the few contradictions she made. The smirk she sent my direction told me she knew she was caught but that it didn't mattershe knew they'd get away with this.

Everyone at the table knew I was thrust into this meeting and hadn't had time to do my homework, so when it came time to talk about James' accusations, I decided to play on my apparent ignorance.

"Mr. Hart," I said, looking James in his eyes, "can I call you James?" He shrugged and I took it as a yes. "James, I'm a bit new to this case and haven't had time to look over everything my partner was working on." Bella's body stiffen next to me and I knew she was probably raging inside over how I was acting and what I was admitting, but I couldn't console her over what I was trying to do either. "Would you mind clarifying some things for me?"

"Sure." The smug smile on Bella's ex-boss' lips turned my stomach, but that was exactly what I wanted him and his lawyers to beoverconfident.

"I've glanced through your list of events and it all seems very well put together." Lifting the right

side of my mouth, I cast him my quirky half-smile, which I only used at work when I wanted to gain someone's trust. I'd been told many times it made me look young and trustworthy.

"Thank you," he mumbled.

"What I'm a bit unclear about is something Bella mentioned to me over the break." I paused, trying to figure out the best angle to go with. "You two had been friends at one time, is that correct?"

"Um, yeah, I guess you could say that." His private counsel leaned forward in his chair and stared at him. "In the general sense, that is."

"General sense?"

"We worked together, so we were friendly at work, but"

"But nothing more?"

"Where are you going with this Edward?" asked one of the University's legal counsel.

"As I said, I'm a bit new to this case and I'm just trying to figure out when all this started."

"The first date" Interrupting the prick, I held up my hand to stop him. "I can read what James wrote in his log, and know very well the date of the first accusation. What I want to figure out is when their relationship turned from friendship to something else."

"I believe he already said they weren't friends."

"No, that's not what he said, and if you'd let me continue, I'd like him to clarify what he meant."

The lawyer nodded his head at James and James looked up at me, probably unsure as to what I had asked.

"I was asking if there was anything more to your friendship with Bella other than a normal

working relationship."

"No."

"Would you say your relationship with Bella was something like your relationship with Erin Owens?" Erin was another one of the librarians mentioned in Emmett's notes. I had no idea if James was friendly with her or not, but I thought it was worth a try.

James shrugged. "Sure."

"So, you hang around and talk with Erin and are friendly with her, but on a platonic level?"

"No, well, yes, it's platonic, but I don't hang out and talk with Erin much."

"But you're friendly with her?"

"Yes."

"Mr. Hart has already answered your question." The University's lawyers looked very annoyed with me.

"Right, so you're friendly with Erin in the same way as you wereat one timewith Bella." Since I hadn't asked a question, I was surprised when James spoke, but happy that he did.

"Yes, yes, yes," he said, raising his hands in the air. "Bella and I were friendly with each other, just as I am with Erinin a platonic way."

"But nothing more, no . . . shall we say, emails?"

"Emails?" The fear that shot into James' eyes was one of the things I loved about being a lawyerthat first look when they realize you've got them.

"He already stated his relationships with both Ms. Swan and Ms. Owens were nothing more than platonic, working friendships." "Exactly, so sending personal emails to one of them would have been, odd, or

out-of-the-ordinary, is that correct James?"

"I guess."

"You guess?" I cocked my eyes at him. "Have you ever sent personal emails to Erin Owens?"

"No."

"Would you say that if you had emailed Ms. Owens' personal email address it would"

"Get back on track, Edward; Ms. Owens isn't the accused. Your partner wanted to settle this out of court, but if you keep this up"

"No need," I said, "I'll move on." Bella's body was still stiff beside me and I wished I could reassure her as to what I was trying to do. "I guess what I'm confused about the most," I said, looking up at James, "is all the emails sent between you and Bella."

James' private counsel leaned forward and started whispering in James' ear as the University lawyers were all hunched together and talking quietly. Victoria sat in her seat practically eye-fucking me with what some men would consider a sexy smirk on her face but it turned my stomach. She reminded me of one of those troll dolls from the 80'syou know; the wild, crazy, bright red hair and quirky expressions on their faces?

"She was harassing me in emails too," James said, abruptly trying to turn the tables back around.

"Really? I've read through quite a few of them"

"Do you have these emails available?" It was one of the University's lawyers.

"I do, but haven't had time to print them out yet." I motioned to my bag before offering to pull them up. "I can open them up right now, if you'd like."

"No." James' jaw hardened and his eyes practically turned black as he scowled at me.

"Are you sure?" I asked, knowing I was pissing him off. "It would only take a few seconds to pull the emails up."

The University's counsel maneuvered their chairs so they could speak with James and his private counsel in hushed whispers. Victoria still had her eyes glued to me and I turned to Bella to see how well she was holding up. "You okay?"

She nodded, but her eyes were on James and the circle of bodies whispering with him.

They finally came back to the table and one of the University's legal counsel started talking. "Mr. Hart admits to the emails, and we understand that this alludes to a closer relationship between him and Ms. Swan than previously insinuated by Mr. Hart, but it in no way takes away from the charges against Ms. Swan."

"So James is agreeable to state that their relationship was one of friendship?"

James looked at the lawyer and after a nod in his direction, he looked at me. "Yes, Bella and I were friends."

"Thank you, James." I smiled at him and then looked down at my notes, trying to remember where I was going with all of this. "I want to ask you about something else now, is that okay?" I'd learned that making people feel as if they had a choice in the matter relaxed them more, earning me more trust in their eyes.

"Sure."

"I wanted to ask about the things the two of you discussed as friends. I've read through a lot of your emails and it seems like you two talked about the people you dated a lot."

"Yeah."

"Is it true that you used to tease her for being too . . . what was the word you used in your emails . . . strict?"

"She had these rules," James said, turning to look at his private counsel and I did a happy dance insidehe fell for the bait. "The guys she dated had to pass a certain test, in a way, and if they didn't, then she'd dump them."

"Did you ever know her to go against her rules?"

"Never."

"Not even once?" I asked.

"No, I can't think of a single time."

"So, if she really liked someone, she never let a rule or two pass?"

"No."

"Not even a little rule? One that wasn't as important as the others?"

"No, she never let any of her rules go. If a guy broke even one unimportant rule, she dumped him"

"Are you familiar with her rules?" He shrugged. "I guess."

"You guess?"

"It sounds like you already know the answer."

"And, that would be?"

"Yes, I know her rules."

"Did you, on occasion, help her with making new rules?"

"Yes." He was definitely not looking very smug anymore and I noticed that he no longer glared over to Bella. Instead, his shoulders were hunched over and his head was a bit bowed down.

"So, you have first-hand knowledge of her rules?"

"Yes, okay, I've already said that. I know her rules very well and I helped make some of them up."

Leaning back in my chair, I let James sit for a while as I gathered my thoughts. This meeting was going better than I imagined. I actually thought there was no hope for Bella when I'd woken up this morning. "You've done a great job documenting every occurrence," I stated, looking through the copied pages of his log. "What I want to know, though, is if Bella ever came on to you before any of this?" When he didn't respond, I reiterated. "What I mean is, before the first accusation of her harassing you, had she ever shown any interest in you?"

"Edward, you're only dragging this out," one of the University's legal counsel said.

"I'm only trying to figure out how a friendship turned into harassment." I looked at James then. "Had Bella ever asked you on a date or maybe out with her friends for a casual get-together?"

James fidgeted in his seat and looked over to Victoria, who was glaring at him. "Um, not really."

"Do you know why that is?"

"What?"

"Do you know why Bella never asked you out? Why she never came onto you before all this . . . mess?"

"Um, no, why would I know why she does or doesn't do anything?"

"Oh, I just assumed, since you were such good friends and you knew all her rules, that you'd know why she never once showed interest in you." "What are you getting at counselor?" The uppity University lawyers were annoyed again.

"Maybe I should ask it this way: can you tell us which rules of Bella's you fail?"

"Excuse me?"

"How about this, do you remember rule number 11?"

As James sat red-faced, glaring at me, all the lawyers on his side looking grim, Bella leaned over and whispered in my ear. "He fails numbers 13, 17, 22, 34, and 37 too."

"Rule number 11 is that she doesn't date co-workers. Would you like to guess at rules 13, 17, 22, 34, and 37?"

"No."

"Bella, could you please explain why James fails those rules?"

"Um," she said, "13 is about guys wearing Crocs, I can't stand guys who wear them, and James owns three different pairs and wears them all the time. 17 is about sneezing. I don't date guys who sneeze excessively loud, which James does. Guideline 22 is against blondes, I'm not attracted to them. Guideline 34 is about penmanship. I can't stand men who can't write legibly.

And guideline 37 is about fingernails. I don't date guys with dirty fingernails."

It was interesting to see the looks of shock on the faces of all the people across from us, except for Jameshe already knew about these rules. If this weren't a serious matter, I'd most likely be laughing and commiserating with the lot of them over the annoying rules Bella had made for herself, but that wasn't the situation. Regardless of how I felt about her rules, it was the one thing saving her today.

"That doesn't mean anything," James finally said. "Just because she has rules about dating, it doesn't mean she never harassed me."

"But I thought you said she never budged on any of her rules?"

"We never dated." His shoulders straightened up and I had to hand it to himhe was right. They never dated, so did these rules apply to him?

Then I remembered a rule I'd come across when reading her notebook that day in her apartment. "Not all her rules are a list of things the men she dates must meet, but you know that, don't you? It's why you won't look me or Bella in the eyes now." I couldn't remember the actual rule numbers, but I did remember the gist of the rules themselves.

"She doesn't kiss until the third date. She won't even think of going on a date with a man who touchesor even tries to touchher inappropriately before . . . date 5, I believe." I looked down to Bella who wore a mask of indifference on her face. "There is no groping of any kind allowed until after she brings her dates to meet her friends, which doesn't happen until after the fourth date."

"So?" James's eyes looked scared and his lawyers looked pissed.

"So, if Bella never breaks her rules, which you adamantly stated she never does, why would she break these? And with someone who doesn't even pass the dating test?"

He didn't have an answer so he sat there and stared at me, his face bright red as the lawyers around him spoke in hushed voices. Bella sat on the edge of her seat, her fingers twisting around a pen she held in one of her hands and I wanted to reach out and grab a hold of her hands, to stop her fidgeting and reassure her, but knew it wasn't appropriate. Maybe if we'd been friends at the beginning of all this, it would've been, but I knew she'd probably flinch away from my touch, as she'd done before.

"Can you give us a few minutes?" asked one of the University lawyers, and I nodded as I stood, motioning for Bella to lead the way out of the room.

"Wow," she said once we were in the hallway. "That was good." The smile on her face was infectious.

"Now you see why it's important to share everything with your lawyer."

"What happens now?"

"I imagine they'll give you your job back and drop the sexual harassment charges against you, along with any reports about this in your employee file."

"I don't want my job back."

"What?"

"I just . . . I can work at any library . . . I"

"What's wrong?"

"I'm scared to"

"Bella, you won't have to deal with James. He'll most likely be fired."

"It's not that."

"Then what is it?"

"I just don't want to go back to working thereI have bad memories, okay?" Bad memories. This was why I was such an ass. Not once had I thought about what really happened between Bella and James. I'd been too hell-bent on clearing her name, I hadn't thought of what caused her to knee him in the balls in the first place.

"What did he do to you?"

Wet, steady eyes stared at me, the pain seeping out as her jaw shook. "I don't want to talk about it."

"If he did anything" Running a hand through my hair, I tried to calm the sudden rage inside me. "If he hurt you in any way, you need to tell me."

The stories she told me didn't seem as trivial as she was trying to make them out to be. Bella kept apologizing for her and James' actions and I had to constantly remind her that she did nothing

wrong, reassuring her that it was okay for her to tell me everything, and that it was okay to be mad at James. By the time we walked back into the conference room, I was ready to rip the jackass's head off, but the shy, vulnerable girl that walked next to me kept me sane, and I sat down, draping an arm across Bella's chair. She may not want my comfort or protection, but I couldn't help but try and do somethinganythingto make her feel better.

All the charges against Bella were dropped and they offered her job back, but she declined, instead taking a three-month severance package that I couldn't imagine would pay for even half the rent on her and Rose's apartment. How did these two women afford their place?

Once everything was cleared with the charges against Bella, I sat with her as she told the true story of what had been going on at the library the past few months. It was nothing as horrifying or graphic as James had tried to depict in his false accusations, but it was still horrible that

someoneespecially Bellahad to endure James' treatment for any length of time. The University promised to take another look into Sarah's case, which made Bella happy, and then we were walking out the doors and I wanted nothing more than to take Bella home and hold her in my arms.

Unfortunately, this small moment of bonding between us counted for nothing to Bella. She'd been polite and thanked me numerous times, but she made it very clear there was nothing more than a professional connection between us. She declined my invitation to a late lunch and even gave me a horrifyingly stiff handshake with none of the warmth of our first.

It was the best way for things to go though. We already knew we couldn't stand one another, so why was I even thinking she'd want to eat with me? Five minutes alone with her in a restaurant and I'm sure I'd have wanted to gouge my eyes out. I didn't call her my Scarlet for nothing. That girl could change moods faster than the seconds on my stop watchI couldn't keep up with her.

Chapter Eight Guideline 10

Guideline 10: Ordering a drink with a sexual name will get him thinking about sex. Do you want him to get to know you or think sexual thoughts about you? Don't order drinks with sexual names or any sexual connotation. Otherwise, all he'll see you for is a piece of ass.

Everyone was ecstatic over Edward's big winor my win, as they all referred to it. It wasn't me who did anything special though, and I felt odd when they suggested we celebrate. What exactly were we celebrating, the fact that I was sexually harassed at work? Okay, I knew that wasn't what they meant, but that's how I felt, and to top it all off, I'd have to spend time with Edward, since inviting him was unavoidablehe was the one who worked the magic, after all. It wasn't that I didn't want to spend time with him, just that the more time we spent in the same room the

harder it was to keep him out of my mind.

Instead of heading out to a bar or club, which was where Alice wanted to go, everyone descended upon mine and Rose's apartment right around dinner time. We ordered Chinese and sat around our small dining room table as Edward explained what had happened and how he was able to get me out of the mess James tried to put me in.

It wasn't that I was ungrateful or anything, but I felt like I was under attack when he mentioned my guidelines; and what was up with everyone referring to them as rules? Standards, I could see, as well as guidelines, or even criteria, but rules? Maybe it wasn't the word they used, but the way they all spoke about my guidelines, as if they were a bad thing to have. There was a moment at the meeting this morning when everyone in the room, except for James, was looking at me with dumbfounded expressions. Was it really that strange or bizarre to have a set of standards for the ones people dated? I couldn't be the only person who had a list, could I?

On a different note, Edward had been cordial to me, and I really didn't know how to take this new Niceward, for lack of a better nickname. With every conversation, I kept waiting for the hat to fall and Edward to spit out some vile comment to me, but it never happened; well, not until Emmettwho was now feeling betterdecided to offer me a job at their law firm without asking Edward first. Even then, Edward's rude comments weren't directed at me, but were only about me. Was there really a difference? Should I be less offended?

"It makes perfect sense," Emmett said to everyone in the roomhe enjoyed being the center of attention; something him and I did not have in common. "Bella needs a job. She's a good research librarian from everything I've heard and we need someone to help us out, including doing some research for our cases."

"Legal research, Emmett," Edward said, as if it made a difference. Maybe it did, but I wouldn't know as I had never researched legal stuff before. I expected it would be very dry and boringI

was on Edward's side.

"She doesn't have to know the ins-and-outs of law, just be able to find the things we're looking for." "How will she know she's found what we need if she doesn't understand the law to begin with?"

Ouchthat hurt. Did he think I was an imp or a depraved, illiterate mongrel? "Honestly guys, I'm okay, I'll find another job." This was where I had to act as if I actually planned on finding one. In all truthfulness, I wasn't planning on it. With the money I had, I didn't really need to get a new part-time job. The library had just been a thing for me to do. It made sense to get a part time job there because I spent a lot of time up and down the aisles, reading and researchingit was my second home. If I really wanted, I could go to a different library and get a jobno big deal.

"But this will be perfectfor both of us." Emmett ran his hand over his head, rubbing his short, black hair, with his other hand on his hiphe seemed distressed. "We need someone, Edward,

and not just for the research. We need someone who can run the office."

"We'll hire an office administrator; we don't need Bella."

Very ouchthat hurt even worse. It wasn't about my lack of knowledge or skill this time; now it was just me he didn't want. "Don't worry, Edward, I don't desire to be anywhere near you either."

The look that shot up on Edward's face confused me as well as held me hostage as I stared at him, unsure why he was suddenly upset . We'd always been mean to each other before, so why would he act so shocked and hurt over what I'd said and why would I care?

"That's enough," Alice said, standing to gain everyone's attention. She then looked directly at me and then at Edward. "Will you two please stop doing this? I don't care if you hate each other, at least try to get along for my sake."

"And mine," Emmett said, his head bent down, staring at the floor, hands in his jeans pockets.

"Edward," Alice then said, turning her evil little pixie stare on him. "You will offer Bella a job at your firm." She turned to me then. "And you will accept."

Was she serious? She knew I didn't need the job; her and Rose were the only people, besides my parents, who knew about my real job and the income I received from it. I didn't tell Jessica because she couldn't keep a secret to save her life, and Angela was a regular church-going Christian, so I didn't think she'd agree with the way I was making my money.

"You can't be serious."

"Yes, I am, you need to be able to contribute to rent and utilities." Her hands were on her hips now and I looked over to Edward and lifted my eyebrows, as if to tell him to do something about her, but he only smirked at mehe was no help at all.

Of all the nerve! She'd promised to not mention how I made my money to anyone, yet this was

beyond keeping my secretthis was mutiny on my life. "Well I can't work every day" Alice cut me off by lifting both her eyebrows and doing some kind of Vulcan mind trick on me. "Fine, I'll work whatever hours you two need," I said, looking up at Emmett and not Edward. For some reason, I was still having a hard time keeping my thoughts PG13 around the sexy lawyer who saved my hide. It was easier to be cold toward him. Otherwise, I wasn't sure I'd be able to keep my hands off him.

"Wicked awesome!" Emmett said, coming over to engulf me in a huge hug.

Wrapping my arms around the cuddly teddy bear, I let myself relax into his arms. My guidelines had kept me far from intimate situations with men, but I still craved intimacy, even innocent touches and hugs were something I didn't get enough of. "So?" I asked as I pulled back. "When do I start?"

"Tomorrow."

Tomorrow was a long day, which turned into a long half-week and then another long full week. By the next Friday afternoon, I was frustrated with Edward and about ready to throw in the towel; but Emmett was rightthey needed someone. For no other reason than to help Emmett, and to somehow pay back Edward for freeing me of all the harassment charges against me, I decided to tough the job out.

It wasn't too bad as far as jobs went. Answering phones was nothing too major, as well as filing and organizing their days. It was amazing, actually, to see how fast they were able to set up a new firm and have real clientsnot just a friend in dire need like me. They weren't bogged down but they had enough work to require me to do some research in the law library, which wasn't too bad. There were some things I could do online, and some other things I needed to actually go down to the library itself, located in the King County Court House. The best thing was that the law library had classes on how to use the library and find what it was I needed, so I signed up for

some. I may have been a librarian before, but this legal stuff was different and I wanted to make sure I did things right.

It was a little before lunch when the door opened and in walked the UPS man. Okay, every woman has heard about the sexy UPS men in brown shorts but I was not so lucky. The UPS man wasn't exactly horrible to look at, but he wasn't my type eitherhe was blonde. Mike walked in and leaned against the counter, his bright white smile a bit too brilliant to be real.

"Hi Bella," he said. "Do you have any packages for me today?"

"No, not today, did you not understand that if I had a package, I would go online and schedule a pick-up?"

He had dropped off a package to the firm my first day of work and during the course of his five minute visit, he asked me on a date. Other than him being blonde, he didn't break any of my guidelines and was quite charming, in a way, but I still turned him down. The next day he came

in with nothing to drop off, asking me if I had any packages for him to pick up. That was when I informed him of how the system worked; I'd schedule a pickup if I needed him. He asked me out on a date again and I was floored. Did he really think my answer would be any different? "You can't blame me for wanting to come in and say hi to a beautiful woman." He'd been in every day since our first meeting, yet this was the first time he'd referred to me as beautiful.

Yeah, that wasn't going to work. I was no longer into the sappy, romantic lines guys used to try and get a girl. Unfortunately, I didn't have much experience in dealing with the sap face-to-face. "Um, yeah"

"What, did I embarrass you? Your cheeks are so red."

"Well, if I weren't embarrassed before, I am now." I turned my face down and acted busy. He didn't leave; I could see his form out the corner of my eye.

"A few of my friends are going out for drinks tonight." He looked into my eyes when I looked up

and I saw the uncertainty in his as he hesitated. "I was wondering if"

"I'm sorry Mike, but I already have plans." It was a lie, but I didn't accept dates on short notice. Not that it would be a date, because I would never accept a date with him for any reason, but I didn't mention that fact so as not to hurt his feelings.

"Oh, that's okay, maybe some other time?"

With a fake smile and a forced nod of my head, I said, "Maybe."

"Okay, well, I've got to get going."

"Talk to you later, Mike."

Once he was out the door, I leaned my head down on my desk and cursed myself. It wasn't that I didn't like Mike; it was just that he was blonde. I'd never been attracted to blonde men before and I wasn't now either. Besides him being blonde though, he also wasn't much to look at. He had

cute features in his face, but his body was a bit out of shape and his shorts didn't fit him too well, they made him look pudgy, though I wouldn't call him fat. I, at the very least, wanted to be attracted to the men I dated.

"Let me guess," I heard Edward say and I kept my head down, not wanting to look at him right now. "You've hurt the poor UPS man's feelings again."

"What am I supposed to do?" I slowly raised my head and glanced in his direction, not making eye contact. Edward was dressed in a pair of dark grey dress pants and a somewhat wrinkled, white button down shirt with a grey and blue tie. It had been a long day for him. He had some hearing coming up that he'd been working hard on all week for a DUI case. "I don't want to be rude to him."

"Leading him on is rude," he said before turning back into his office and shutting the door behind him. That was pretty normal interaction for Edward and I. He'd stick his nose out and tell me whatever it was I was

doing wrong and then he'd retreat to his castle and shut himself off from the rest of the world.

The remainder of the day dragged on and I couldn't wait to leave. Working nine hours a day, five days a week was too painful for me, not to mention I was slacking on my writing. I'd have to discuss my hours with Emmett this weekend. Maybe I could work half days all week or three full days, anything other than a miserable forty hours a weekit felt like my life was being sucked dry.

"Hey Bells," Emmett said as he walked out of his office and stood next to the reception desk. "I just got off the phone with Rosie."

"Is that so?" He always had a quirky look about him after speaking with her, it was absolutely adorable.

"Yeah," he said with a slight blush, "we're going out to Midnight Sun tonight, want to join us?"

"I'd love to!" I hadn't had a date in what seemed like forever and the thought of sitting at home alone tonight depressed me. "Wait" There was only one problem. "Is he coming too?" I asked, motioning toward Edward's door.

"Not sure, I haven't asked him yet, but I plan to." He put his hands in his pockets and fidgeted a little on his feet. "I was hoping we could celebrate, ya know? Since James has been fired, along with that Victoria chic" He smiled, flashing his adorable deep dimples. It turned out that Victoria and James were in a relationship and she had brushed all reports of James' sexual harassment under the rug, and not just Sarah's. There were other people he'd done that to. "And we need to talk about going after the University."

"No. I said it once and I mean it. I'm not suing UDub for what James did to me." Holding up a hand, I stopped Emmett from interrupting me. "I know what you're going to say; you've hounded me all week about it, and the answer is still no." Emmett wanted to go after the University for

retributionhe wasn't happy with the severance package I accepted. Edward was on my side, oddly enough, but it had more to do with the case being outside their scope; it wasn't the type of case they'd agreed upon doing when they opened shop.

Hours later, I walked into Midnight Sun behind Emmett and Rose, knowing full-well that Edward would be there. I still wanted to come thoughI needed to get out. Besides, looking at Edward was worth some of the torture of having to talk to him. Alice squealed loudly when she saw me, throwing her arms around me, and pulling me into a tight hug. It had been a long week. Now that I worked so much, the only people I saw were Rose, Emmett, and Edward; the latter only because we worked together.

On the dance floor were Angela and Ben, and Jess and some new guy I hadn't seen her with yet. "Who's that?" I asked Alice, nodding my head in Jess's direction.

"Oh, I'm not sure, Bart or Brad, or something like that." She rolled her eyes and then sat in Jasper's lap and I looked away, feeling uncomfortable.

Emmett and Rose were soon out on the dance floor and I sat at the table, sipping the bottle of Guinness in front of me as Alice and Jasper sat together in hushed conversationin a different world entirely separated from the rest of the barand Edward chatted with some short-haired brunette. I'd seen the girl before, she was somewhat of a regular here, but I'd never got an up-close and personal view of her before tonight. She had curves in all the right placesthe perfect body.

"Hey Bella!"

The voice I heard could only be one person and I closed my eyes, cringing down into my seat. This wasn't happening to me! "Mike," I said as nicely as I could, looking up at his presence which now hovered next to me. He no longer wore his UPS uniform, but that didn't change my

mind about him. Even in jeans and a polo shirt, Mike's body was unappealingas was his hair color.

"What a coincidence that we ended up at the same bar!" He sat down next to me and leaned in close. "Do you come here often?"

It took everything I had to not roll my eyes. "Sometimes." It was a horrible way to avoid answering, but it worked.

He pulled away from me a bit and then frowned. "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

"It's just been a long week," I said, trying to recover from my apparent rudeness. "Tonight's about relaxing."

"Oh" A sly smile came over his face. "How about a dance, that's relaxing, right?"

"Um, no," I said, shaking my head. "I'm not a good dancer."

"Oh."

"But you can go, if you want." Shoot, that didn't come out right either. No matter how hard I tried to let him down easilyfor some reason I didn't want to hurt his feelingsI always failed. "Listen, I'm horrible company tonight. Maybe another time, okay?"

"Yeah, okay." He stood up and smiled before giving me a wink and then walking away.

I let out a loud sigh.

"Do you ever allow yourself to have fun?"

My head shot up at Edward's question and I glared at him. He was alone now, his little girlfriend gone. "I am having fun." I wasn't, but he didn't need to know that. "Right, that's why you've sat in your chair all night, nursing a beer and ignoring everyone."

Jasper and Alice stood up and walked away, whispering to each other. I kept my eyes on them until Alice turned her head and frowned at me.

"What's it to you?" I asked Edward, turning back to look at him. "Go have fun with your little skank and leave me alone."

A small, lopsided smirk rose on his face and I wanted so much to either slap it off or kiss it, but I wasn't sure which feeling overpowered the other.

"Jealous?"

"As if! What? Do you think every girl is drooling over you, Cullen?"

"No, not every girl. The one in that tight red dress hasn't stopped looking at me, another girl over there" He pointed to a dark corner. "She sent me a beer earlier." His cocky smile infuriated me. He turned his head toward the dance floor and I followed his gaze to Jessica. "And Jessica, of course."

"Oh, don't tell me you're sad she's moved on to bigger and better things." That was quite laughable because the guy Jess was with definitely wasn't better than Edward; bigger, yes, but only in the rounded section of his belly, not in muscles.

He smiled crookedly at me and I about meltedI had to stay strong.

Focusing my eyes on the brunette he'd been with earlier, I smiled at her and waved, causing Edward to turn around and see her. "What happened? She smell the stench of your head from being stuck up your ass your whole life?"

The smile he gave me made me weak in the knees. I wasn't trying to elicit a smile, I was insulting him.

"She's saying goodbye to her friends before we leave."

Cocky little bastard! Keeping my lips frozen in a smile, I turned my head to look at the dance

floor, and then at the bar, seeking someone, anyone, to go to. Why did it hurt that he was going to leave with another woman? I hated the guy! "Have fun," I finally muttered out, unsuccessful at sounding unaffected, before standing up and walking to the bathroom. If I couldn't find someone to hang out with, I was going to go hide.

After fifteen minutes in the girl's room, I finally left the crowded place where I'd taken my time reapplying my makeup. It wasn't something I'd normally do, but I had to find some excuse to be in there for the length of time I was. I couldn't put off leaving my hiding spot any longer though; other girls were waiting for the mirror. Everyone was at our table, even Edward and his brunette, who'd draped herself over him quite skillfullyif only they'd left like he said they were going to. I grunted. As I turned to walk in the other direction, I ran into something hard and started to fall, but strong arms wrapped around me and I looked up into deep brown eyes and a nice, warm smile.

"Oh, excuse me," I said and I could tell I was blushing from the heat that enveloped my

bodyperfect.

"No, I'm sorry," the man said. "I wasn't looking where I was going." After making sure I wasn't going to topple over if he let go, he held out his right hand for a shake. "I'm Tyler Crowley."

"Bella Swan," I said, taking his hand.

There was a moment of awkwardness when we let go of each other's hands and then he smiled shyly at me. "I'm not really good at this," he said.

"Good at what?"

"Um, well, can I buy you a drink?"

"Sure, I'd love that." With a smile, I followed Tyler to the bar, turning my head to smile at Alice who was watching me. Unfortunately, the owner of a pair of deep green eyes was also watching me, only with a scowl on his face. I rolled my eyes at Edward then turned my head back to Tyler,

watching his muscles move under his tight, thermal, longsleeved shirt as we finally made it up to the bar.

"What would you like?"

This was where I really had to stick to my guidelines. I couldn't order a drink with a sexual name or he'd think something of itguys always did. "A beer's fine."

We stood at the bar drinking and talking, getting through the normal, basic questions two people usually asked when getting to know someone. He was from Olympia but moved to Seattle to join the fire department and I inwardly high-fived myself. There was always something sexy about firemen.

After a couple of drinks with him, I gave him my number and he told me he'd call me. I hated to say it, but this was a test; it always was when I met men. If he called before noon tomorrow, he was too eager. If he called back more than two days later, he wasn't interested enough. If he

never called, then good riddance, but if he called back tomorrow evening or the next day, then I'd surely go on a date with himif he asked. So far, he'd passed all the physical-quality type of guidelines I had about men; his feet weren't too big, he was the right height, he treated me with respect, he had dark hair, a fit body, sexy smileokay the last two weren't really guidelines, but maybe they should be. Angela and Ben had left before I made it back to my friends, and so had Edward and his skank, so I sat with Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rose, Jess, and her boytoy of the moment before heading home, thinking about Tyler and Edward. Why I couldn't get the jerk out of my head, I wasn't sure, but every time I tried to be happy about Tyler, green eyes were what I saw in my mind. It was a long night, taking forever for me to get to sleep, and once I did, it was Edward and his piercing green eyes that I dreamt of.

Chapter Nine Guideline 15

Guideline 15: Never give out your address until you know the guy well. Always meet up for the first few dates and drive yourself in case you need to get away. Once you feel more comfortable around him, then you can let him pick you up or invite him in.

On Saturday afternoon Tyler called and we chatted easily on the phone before he asked me to lunch on Monday. It was perfecthe was perfect. I really didn't have any guidelines stating a first date had to be a lunch date, but I preferred them. Lunch dates usually didn't last more than an hourespecially one during the work weekso it was easy to escape if need be.

After getting off the phone with Tyler, I headed out to lunch with the girls. It was nice to be together with my four good friends and no guys. With Alice, Rose, and Angela all paired off with men now, it was harder for all five of us to find time for one another. After lunch, I was standing outside the little sandwich shop when a man accidentally ran into me. Bricethat was

his namewas tall, broad shouldered, and had sandy brown hair with blue eyes. After a brief apology and some innocent flirting, he asked me to lunch for Tuesday.

Now, though I'm the type of person to be monogamous when I'm dating someone seriously, I have a guideline that says to accept dates even if I have a date set up with another man, but this only applies as long as it isn't for the same day. This idea came about when I passed up some cute guy a few years ago because I'd already accepted a date with someone else. The date turned out horrible and I kicked myself over and over for turning down someone whom I was more attracted to. From that day on, I'd never turned anyone down because I had a date set up with someone else. If I ever did start dating someone seriously, I would never cheat on himI'm just not that type.

Monday morning was busy at Cullen and McCarty. Edward had a hearing later in the week, so was holed up in his office getting ready, and Emmett was out of the office in meetings. Every

time either of them went to the courthouse, they met more and more attorneys in the area, which led to more and more work, and the more work for them resulted in more work for me. I couldn't complain, really, since I was very close to finishing my most recent project and I kind of liked the distraction from my normal, boring life.

At a little before eleven, the small brunette from Midnight Sunthe one Edward had left with on Friday nightwalked into the office and I froze. For some reason, I assumed she'd be nothing more than a one-nightstand for Edward. That's what Tanya had been, after all, and he hadn't shown much interest in seriously dating anyone else. Actually, I only knew about Tanya and this girl, which I thought neither was serious.

"Hi," she said with a bright smile on her face. She really was stunning. Not only did she have the most perfect body, but she had beautiful white teeth, big, blue eyes, and perfect skinnot one freckle or blemish. "I'm Bree Armin. I'm here to see Edward Cullen."

Edward had made it excruciatingly clear earlier this morning that he was not accepting calls or visitors today because of all the work he needed to get done. "Is he expecting you?" I asked innocently, forcing a kind smile on my face. For some reason, the thought that this girl had spent time with Edward bothered me.

"Um, no, I thought . . . well, I thought I'd take him out to lunch." She unleashed a cold stare and I stared back for a moment.

"He's not seeing anyone today, he's busy getting ready for" I stopped, realizing I didn't have to explain everything to her. "He's unavailable. I'll leave him a message though."

"He has to eat sometime," she said with a sappy smile. "Can't you just ask him?"

"Well, let me see if he has a moment, he's been very busy this morning."

Taking the few steps to Edward's door was tough. Mostly because Bree was watching every

move I made. After knocking lightly on his door, I opened it a crack and peeked in. He was sitting behind his desk with a couple of huge books in front of him. His hands were rubbing over his eyes, his glasseswhich he only wore in the office pushed up on top of his head. He was stunning when his mouth wasn't spewing rudeness.

"I told you not to bother me," he said without looking up.

"I'm sorry," I said harshly as I stepped into his office, causing him to finally lift his eyes to me, "but Bree is here."

"Fuck."

I didn't think I was supposed to hear that, but I smirked at him none-the-less. "I told her you were busy, but she said something about lunch"

He sighed heavily and leaned back in his chair. The crisp white shirt I'd seen him in earlier was now wrinkled from sitting all morning, and his tie was actually pulled off, the top button of his

shirt open. "Go ahead and send her in."

For some reason I was expecting him to tell me to send her away. Why did my heart drop into my stomach when I realized he was going to see her? Why did I feel like slamming the door as I stepped through it? Why did Edward Cullen infuriate me to the point where I lost every semblance of sanity?

Back in the waiting area Bree was looking at the boring, lifeless pictures on the walls of the office. They were the typical type of thing you'd find in any office without any personal touch, or maybe even in a hotel room. She didn't look worried he wouldn't see her or nervous to see him, and I wondered how much time they'd spent together. It had only been one night, right? They couldn't have spent the entire weekend together, could they?

"He'll see you now." The smile on my face was faked and I avoided her eyes as she thanked me, walked to his door, stepped inside, and closed it behind her.

Oh to be a fly on a wall in that room. For the next twenty minutes I couldn't concentrate on

anythingincluding my upcoming dateas I stared at the door, trying to listen to the noises I could faintly hear from within. Were they talking? I mean, what exactly would they be talking about for twenty minutes? She said she wanted to take him to lunch. That was a pretty simple question to ask, wouldn't you think? All he had to say was either yes or no, and then she or both of themif he'd answered yesshould walk out the door. Wasn't that pretty simple?

Maybe they weren't talking in there; maybe they were . . . I stood from behind the reception desk and started pacing across the floor. He wouldn't do that, would he? I mean, that was just gross, wasn't it? This was a professional office; he couldn't be in there doing that! "Ugh!" I'd finally let my imagination get the better of me and I didn't like what I was envisioning, nor how the thought made me feel. Grabbing my jacket, I started on my way to leave for my lunch date with Tyler when Edward's door opened.

"You going somewhere?" Edward asked, eyeing me up and down. Did he see how upset I was?

Was my face red? I was sure it wasn't its normal pale color.

"I have a . . . I have somewhere I need to be."

It didn't go unnoticed to me that Bree had her arm linked through Edward's. "Is it a lunch date, Bella?" she asked.

Huh? How did she even know my name, and why would she care? "I'm sorry?" I asked, showing my obvious dislike for her nosey question.

"I just thought that after the way you and Tyler were at the bar the other night, you were meeting up with him for lunch?" She looked up at Edward and winked.

"How do you know Tyler?" If my face wasn't red before, it was now.

"So you are meeting Tyler for lunch?" She sounded so cocky and full of herself.

I rolled my eyes and glared at her, waiting for her to answer my question.

"Tyler is good friends with my best friend's brother. I don't know him well, but he's a real nice guy, Bella. I think the two of you make a cute couple."

If there was one thing I hated, it was someone telling me I made a cute couple with some guy I'd only met once. Through this entire conversation, Edward stood next to Bree, a slight frown on his face. What? Was I not allowed to go to lunch?

"Okay, well, I need to get going if I don't want to be late. I'll be back in an hour, Edward."

"Have a good time, Bella," Bree said.

As I walked out the door, I turned my head to say goodbye, but stopped myself when Bree leaned up on her toes and kissed Edward. My stomach shot up to my throat and I thought for a moment I was going to be sick.

I took a taxi to the restaurant and Tyler was there, waiting for me outside. For some reason, I

became incredibly shy. This man was definitely something to boast about. He was even better looking than I remembered, though in a cute, boyish way not as mature looking as Edward. As if he'd read through the list of my guidelines before our date, Tyler did everything perfect. He greeted me kindly with a smile, escorted me to our table, allowed me to order my own foodcould you believe some men insist on ordering for their dates?asked questions about me, talked about himself, it was as if he'd stepped right off the pages of my guidelines, meeting my standard impeccably. He dotted every 'i' and crossed every 'T'.

Then it happened. His cell phone went off and he answered without hesitation or a second look at the screen or to me. Frowning, I watched as he spoke to what sounded to be a friend. This was something I'd yet to encounter on a date. I'd heard my friends complain about guys who did this, but I hadn't yet set any guidelines about it because I could think of reasons why someone would answer their phone. What if a relative of theirs had been injured and needed help to get to the

hospital, or what if . . . no, I couldn't think of any other reason to answer a phone call during a date.

The conversation went on for a few minutes and I quietly sat and listened, knowing full well he was talking to a friend and about the most mundane things. To Tyler's credit, he did tell his friendrepeatedlythat he needed to get off the phone, but the reality of the situation was that it took him over twenty minutes to accomplish it. By the time he finally hung up, his shy smile and apology didn't mean anything to meI was pissed. This was so much like what had happened when Edward crashed my date with Jacob and I needed to add the situation to my Dating Guide.

Were my guidelines really about phone calls, the opening of doors, or even about men talking about sex before we were familiar with each other? No, they weren't. What worried me about these things was how the relationship would change. With the phone call, what would Tyler be

like a year from now, once we were more comfortable with each other? Would he be on the phone all the time, ignoring me? When it comes to guys opening doors for me, it makes me uncomfortable because eventually the chivalry would dieit always didand I didn't want to one day look back at what a guy used to do for me, sad that he no longer did it. And what about a man making a sexual innuendo or mentioning sex in polite conversation? The problem I had with this was that if sex was on his mind from get-go, then I really had to wonder if he was interested in me as a person or as someone to use for gratification. What would happen if we eventually did have sex? Where would the relationship go, or better yet, would there really be a relationship? Once a man got what he was after, he'd just move on to the next thrill to be had. If a man didn't meet my guidelines when we first met, imagine what life would be like with the guy years later.

People always show their best "self" at the beginning of a relationship and if their best is not meeting my standards, then imagine how horrible they'd be a year or two down the line. I wasn't

looking for a fling, I wanted to find a man to marry and settle down with, have three or four kids, a dog, a white picket fence; the whole kit and caboodle. In order to do that, I had to be selective. Otherwise, I would just be wasting my time.

There weren't many words between me and Tyler as we waited for the bill and I allowed him to pay for the entire meal as I sat in silence. When we left, he told me he had a fun time and I frowned up at him, confused as to whether or not he understood how rude he'd been to me.

"Can I call you again?" he asked as I put my hand up to hail a cab.

"No, Tyler, you can't."

"What? Why? I thought we had fun."

A cab started slowing down and I took one last look at Tyler before it stopped. "We did until you answered your phone and ignored me."

"I told you I was sorry"

"I'm sorry too," I said as I opened the cab's door and stepped in. I couldn't even bring myself to watch him as the cab rode away, merging with the busy lunch hour traffic.

Back at the office, Emmett was standing in the reception area when I walked in and he greeted me with a smirk. "So?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows up and down suggestively. "How'd it go?" Somehow, he knew I'd been on a dateRosalie.

"He talked to his friend on his cell phone for half the time."

"Oh." Emmett's lips pursed together as his left hand reached up and rubbed over his short hair. It looked like he wanted to say something, but thought better of it because his lips then turned into a firm line and then up into an apologetic smile. "There're other fish out there," he said.

"I know, I know." Sighing heavily, I sat down behind the reception desk. "I just wish I could find

someone who wasn't rude or disrespectful who . . . I don't know . . . is it too much to ask for someone with manners, a bit of romance, and some attraction as well?"

Just as I finished my rant, Edward stepped out of his office and stared at me. "You're late," he said, standing in the doorway, never taking his eyes off me. He didn't look angry, really, but I wasn't very good at deciphering his moods.

"Then don't pay me for the three minutes."

Edward's eyes scrunched together and then he looked over at Emmett. "What's wrong with her?"

"God, Edward, just go back into your hole already!" That wasn't a great way for me to talk to my boss, but I really didn't want to deal with him. Thankfully, Emmett chuckled, making me feel better.

Darting his eyes between me and Emmett, Edward looked confused for a moment before

something clicked inside his head. I could tell the moment it happened because he smiled crookedlybe still my thudding heartand then smirked at me. "Lover-boy fail your rules?"

"For the umpteenth time, Edward, they aren't rules; they're standards or guidelineseveryone has them."

"I take that as a yes."

Was there a pole stuck up his ass or something? I really needed to know what was wrong with him because maybe then I could stop fantasizing about strangling him. Of course the strangling usually turned into violent sex, but I didn't want to think about that right now, I only wanted to imagine the numerous murders I'd conjured up in my head over the past two months. It helped fuel my fire betterthe other fantasies lit another fire altogether and I couldn't handle that right now.

"Go back to your cave," Emmett said and I got the feeling Emmett was just as frustrated with

dear, old Edward as I was.

Jerkward retreated and I leaned my head back and muttered a quick thanks to my roommate's boyfriend. It was going to be a long week, but I looked forward to my date with Brice tomorrow during lunch. Maybe he'd be different. He was definitely good looking, though not as handsome as the man I'd seen in the library all those weeks ago.

Tuesday morning seemed to be just as hectic as Monday was and I longingly stared at the calendar on my desk, trying to will Friday to arrive faster with my mind. Edward was in a foul mood, practically grunting at me whenever he poked his head out his office door. There was a good side to Edward's wrath though, and it showed when Mike came into the office to chat.

Though I thought Mike was an okay guy, I was starting to get annoyed with his attention and it was very obvious that Edward was too. Mike hadn't been here two minutes when the legal tool stormed out of his office and yelled at Mike for wasting the firm's time. Edward then looked at

me, mumbled something under his breath, and then rolled his eyes at Emmett who also emerged from his office when he heard Edward's tirade. Lunch time couldn't come soon enough. At ten of eleven, the annoyingly perfect Bree strolled into the office and I smiled kindly in her direction before buzzing Edward's office.

"What?" he asked in unmasked annoyance.

"Your girlfriend's here."

Bree beamed at me over my desk and I tried hard not to roll my eyes. She seemed thrilled with the title I'd given her, but the scratchy voice on the other end of the intercom did not.

"Don't presume, Bella."

Okay . . . I had no idea what to do with that. Within moments of him disconnecting from the intercom, Edward emerged from his office, his blue shirt just as wrinkled as the white one

yesterday and his hair was standing at all different angles. Bree laughed as she threw her arms around him and I noticed that though he put his arms around her, he seemed stiff, perhaps reluctant. Trouble in paradise?

"Come on, baby, you need to eat," Bree said, her adorable voice grating on my nerves.

"I have a lot of work to do, Bree; I told you yesterday I'd call you when I had some free time."

She pouted, her cute little eyes looking up at him all sad and sappy. If I had a spoon, I'd thrust it down my throat.

"Everyone needs to eat, baby." Her wine was beginning to sound like my fifth grade teacher's nails on a chalk board. Mrs. Smoort had these long-ass fingernails and when she'd write on the chalk board, she'd accidently grind them against the board, causing a high-pitched squealing sound. It always made my stomach tremble and the hair on my arms stand up straight.

"Not today, okay?"

The pouting continued, but it looked like Eddie-boy was going to get his way. "Call me tonight?" she asked, still with her cute little pout.

"I'll try."

Shit, if he were my boyfriend, I'd dump him right then and there. "I'll try?" What kind of answer was that? I needed to make a rule for that type of disrespect from men. Shit, did I just think of my guidelines as rules?

Luckily, I'd been lost in my own thoughts when Bree left. All I heard was the door open and close and I got a small glimpse of her little, perfect rear retreating through the glass door. Unfortunately, Edward was still outside his office, his right hand running through his wild, auburn locks. "Let me know when you leave for lunch, Bella," he said quietly, not looking in my direction.

Instead, his eyes were on the floor. "If you could pick something up for me" His face suddenly lifted, his eyes peering into mine. "If you wouldn't mind, that is. I mean, I'd appreciate it if you could grab me something for lunch."

What was this? Try-to-be-nice-to-Bella day? "I'm leaving in five minutes, but I have an" Shoot, I almost told him I had another date. "I'm meeting someone for lunch."

"Where're you going?"

"Did I hear you say lunch?"

Emmett lurched out his office door, speaking at the same time as Edward, and I started laughing. The poor guy looked ravenoushe'd definitely been working hard in there.

"I'm going to a small sandwich shop down the road."

"Well, here," Edward said, handing me a credit card from his wallet. "Get something for the

three of usit's on me."

"Um" I knew my face was bright red, I could feel the heat burning my cheeks. Why did a little conversation with Edward turn me into a shy, bashful mess?

"It's just money, ScSwan." Edward's cheeks turned a little pink this time and I stared at him, wondering what was going on in his mind. He actually looked even more attractive with the faint blush on his cheeks. He continued to hold out the card and I reluctantly took it, deciding to use it on their lunches, but not minemy date should pay for that.

"Thanks."

"Thanks, Bella," Emmett said. "You know what I like." That, I did. Many times I was the one who made him sandwiches at my place, since Rose wasn't very good in the kitcheneven with lunch meat.

"And you?" I looked up into Edward's eyes.

"Whatever you think I'd like."

"I have no idea"

"Bella, there's nothing you could get that I'd say no to."

That was strange. "Okay." Why was he being nice all of a sudden? Ten minutes ago he was rude and short with Bree and me, yet now he was . . . nice. No, maybe it wasn't nice. He needed me to get him some food, of course he'd try to be nice; he wanted something from metypical man. Over the years, I'd found that most of my dates ended in one of two ways. Either I enjoyed myself immensely until the very end, when the guy would do something stupidlike yesterday with Tyler and his phoneor the entire date was just miserable. Unfortunately, my date with Brice fell into the morbidly miserable category.

The guy was full of sexual innuendos and compliments about my body partshe was very lucky I didn't deck him one. Being with him made me feel like a piece of meat, an object instead of a

person, and I wondered how men like him survived in this world. Then again, he was still single, so he hadn't survived well. Heck, I was single toowhat did that say about me?

Once lunch was overnot much longer than twenty minutesI explained to him that I needed to pick up lunch for my bosses and then practically pushed him out the door of the small shop. Once he was gone, I sighed heavily and got in the take-out line, staring at the menu as I thought of what to get Edward.

"Still hungry?" It was a very masculine, smooth voice that pulled me out of my thoughts, and I turned to stare into the piercing brown gaze of my mysterious library man.

"Um, uh, no . . . wait, what do you mean by still?" I inhaled and smelled the dark aroma of his colognevery nice.

He chuckled lightly. "I don't mean to sound like a stalker, but I noticed you earlier with your, uh, boyfriend."

"He's not my boyfriend."

"No?" There was a glimmer in his eyes, they practically danced as he looked down at me and I knew my face was now red. Did he recognize me? Did he know who I was?

"No, just a date."

"Oh."

"An only date," I said with a small smile and he smiled back. "I won't be seeing him again."

We were interrupted when the lady behind the counter asked for my order and I quickly called out two numbers from the menu, not really caring which number I got for Edward. The lady then asked my mystery man for his order and then we stared at each other again, neither of us sure what to say.

"I'm Garrett, by the way, Garrett Morgan," he finally said, holding his hand out for a shake.

"Bella Swan." His hand was strong, warm, and firmI smiled.

"You're going to think I'm a total stalker," he said nervously, "but I've seen you before." "Really?" I asked, trying to play it off as if I had no idea what he was talking about.

"You may not remember, but I saw you at the UDub library a few weeks back."

He did remember! Inside, I was doing cartwheels and back flips, excited that he remembered mehad noticed me too.

"Actually" My cheeks burned. "I do remember seeing you."

"How long were you going to make me sit here and suffer?" He laughed as he shook his head and I giggled along with him.

"I wasn't sure if you remembered me or not."

"I could never forget a beautiful woman like you."

Okay, I hated sappy, but the way he said that didn't sound bad, it actually made my heart stutter and I had to force myself to continue breathing. His brown hair had been cut since I saw him in the library, but it wasn't too shortstill not too longand his eyes were just as alluring as I remembered, his broad shoulders inviting, and his lips . . . oh, his lips. Subconsciously, I slipped my tongue out and licked my bottom lipI was mortified when I realized what I'd done.

"Are you going to eat here?" he asked quietly and if I was reading him correctly, a bit nervously as well.

"Um, no, actually, my lunch break is almost over. I need to get lunch back to my bosses."

"Bosses? Do you not work at the library any more?"

"Um, no, I . . . well, let's just leave it with I don't work there anymore."

"And where do you work now?"

"A small law firm down the street." I had made it to the cash register and paid for my sandwiches using Edward's card, surprised they let me. I didn't think I looked anything like an Edward Cullen.

After Garrett had finished paying for his meal, we stood back and waited for our sandwiches.

"So, what exactly do you do?" I asked.

"I'm a Professor at UDub."

"Really?" He didn't look that old. "What do you teach?"

"American History." "Wow. So that's why you were in the library that day? Preparing for a class?"

"Yeah, and I know I was supposed to have my phone off but "

"It's not a big deal," I said with a smile. "I don't work there anymore."

"It was my sister . . . my mom had surgery that morning."

"You really don't need to explain it to me." He really didn't, but for some reason, after what had happened with Tyler just yesterday, I was glad he did.

"Number 8 and a number 11."

Those were the sandwiches I ordered, so I walked up to the counter and grabbed them, hesitating as I turned to face Garrett. This was awkward. I wanted so much to see him again, but I wasn't sure if he felt the same way. He walked up next to me as I stood there and grabbed for his sandwich behind me and then leaned down next to my ear.

"Can I walk you to your office?"

"Um, sure." I didn't have a guideline against that, at least not yet.

We were barely out the door when Garrett looked down at me and said, "I hope I'm not being too forward, but I've been hoping to run into you ever since that day in the library."

"Me too," I said and we smiled at each other.

"I kept going back to the libraryspecifically the reference sectionas soon as my mom was released from the hospital, but I never saw you again."

"Oh, I left shortly after that day."

"Oh."

We were approaching the office and I didn't want him to come inside. Heaven only knew how rude Edward would be to the guy, and I also didn't want to make myself look desperate. I really

liked this guy and I didn't want to ruin it. So I slowed down outside the door and turned toward him. "This is me."

"Oh." He looked up at the name on the door. "Cullen and McCarty?"

"Yeah, they moved here from Boston."

He nodded a bit then looked down at the ground, then back up at me. "Bella, I know this is probably sudden, but would you like to get together on Friday night?" Friday was perfect. "What do you have in mind?"

A playful smile rose on his lips. "I was thinking dinner and then . . . well, there's an indoor mini-golf place not far from the city."

Did he just say mini-golf? I had guidelines about first dates. No movies, no sporting events, but nothing against mini-golf. "That sounds great."

"Where can I pick you up?"

"Oh, if you don't mind, I'd prefer to meet you there?" When he looked confused, I explained my reasoning. "It's just that being a single woman in the city is hard sometimes. I don't like to give away my address until I'm sure the man I'm giving it to is . . . safe."

"I wish my sister was as wise as you, I'll have to make sure she does the same thing." He smiled warmly at me. "Can I have your phone number then so I can get the information to you once I've made our reservations?"

We exchanged phone numbers and then lingered a little as we said goodbye. By the time I walked into the office, Edward and Emmett were both standing in the waiting area, one with an amused and excited expression and one scowling at me, but both obviously having watched me with Garrett through the floor-to-ceiling windows.

"Here're your sandwiches, boys." I placed the food on my desk as I sat down.

"Damn Bella," Emmett said with a goofy grin. "Was that your date?"

"Um, not exactly."

"You went on a date with one man and left with another?" Emmett howled with laughter. "That's classic! Did you hear that Edward?"

"Yeah, I heard." Edward strode over to my desk, obviously in a grumpy mood. "Which one's mine?"

"This one." I slid the number 11 over to him.

"So, who was the professor?" Emmett asked.

"How did you know he's a professor?"

"He's got that look. Are you going to see him again?"

When Emmett asked his question, I heard Edward grunt and then he walked into his office,

practically slamming the door shut. "What's his problem?"

"You're avoiding my question, Bella. Are you going to see him again?"

"Yes, he's taking me to dinner and then mini-golf."

"Mini-golf? You don't seem the type."

"Why not?"

"I thought Rose said you had some kind of rule against sports and dates or something."

Huffing loudly, I narrowed my eyes at Emmett. "Not against mini-golf."

"So when is this amazing date?"

"Friday night." I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. "Am I too giddy? Emmett, I really like him!"

Edward's door opened a little and he glared at us. "Do you mind keeping it down out there? Some of us have a lot of work to do."

Emmett rolled his eyes and then leaned down to kiss my forehead. "I'm happy for you Bells."

"Thanks Em."

Unfortunately, that night, though I did dream about Garrett and his gorgeous brown eyes, a pair of green eyes kept invading my dreams. When I awoke in the morning, I was furious with Edward and cursed him as I scrambled out of bed. How dare he ruin this for me? How dare he mock me in my sleepit wasn't fair.

Chapter Ten Guideline 28

Guideline 28: Though there's no time limit for a first date, it's ideal to keep it short. If it's an

evening date, make sure to be home by 11:00 pm. You want the man to leave wanting more time with you, not wondering why a self-respecting woman would stay out late at night with a man who's practically a stranger.

Every day this week seemed to get worse and worse and I was at the point where I just needed it to end. Last Friday, when I'd hooked up with Bree, I really didn't think about what I was doing when I brought her back to my place. In the morning I stared at her sleeping form, wishing I could go back to the night before and make different decisions but it was too late; she was there, in my bed, with no clothes on. I disgusted myself. Bree was quite chatty that morning, speaking to me as if we'd known each other for months, even years, instead of the twelve hours it actually had been and I found myself wondering what it would be like to have a relationship again. It wouldn't be real in the sense that I'd actually care about her for more than friendship, but I'd always have a date to parties and family get-togethers, plus I'd get laid on a regular basis.

It was those two reasons why I strung the little Skittle along. In an odd way, she sort of reminded me of Alicemore annoyingbut she resembled my sister as she was short and vibrant, talking a mile a minute. Those weren't her only qualities though; she was hot and gave great head as well, so spending time with her would be worth it in the end, I figured. Bree and I spent the entire weekend together. I took her to the movies and out to eat, as well as hung out with her at my apartment watching TV and reading together. Well, I read a book and she skimmed through magazines. It wasn't that bad having her around, but I could tell Rose didn't like her much, which I couldn't figure out considering she was so much like my sister, one of Rose's best friends.

Unfortunately, it was Monday when I realized why I didn't do relationships anymore. After showing up unannounced at my office, she started talking all sugary and sweet, in a higher pitched voice than normal. It all just reminded me too much of her, which gave me a nasty taste in my mouth, but I pushed past it. It was about time I got over the girl who'd made my life a

living hell the past year. I wasn't sure if she'd tried to call me again after Halloween because I'd set up my phone to ignore calls from her, but I was sure she had and it would only be a matter of time before she found other ways to contact me.

So Skittles showing up and wanting to see me was a bad thing, but I did want to try and have a relationship with someone, so I pushed past Bree's annoyance and had Bella send her in to see me. Now I wished I'd told Bella to never let her in.

Bella. If there was one person who confused me more than anyone else I'd ever met, it was my Scarlet. Sometimes she was nice and kind to me and then the next minute, I couldn't believe the words coming out her mouth. In all honesty, I was no better toward her, but where did the cycle begin and where did it end?

It didn't matter; she was now seeing some super-human mutant named Garrett, or at least she was going to start seeing him tonight. After a week of watching her dump two men and then get all

gooey over a third, I stopped wondering why she had her rules and started to see them more as a wall she put up around herself. How far would she let the next man get before she got uncomfortable around him? Would any man break through her rules and find the real Bella within? The worst part of it all was that I caredI actually fucking cared. That didn't change the fact that I would gleefully murder any bastard who even got close to breaking down those walls, but that was a form of caring, right?

That's why I listened to her and Emmett's conversations in the office and why I did anything I could to find ways to talk to her at work. She wouldn't speak a word to me outside the office, so it was the only place I could try. But why did I want to try? Why did I torture myself with the bitter, jilted, rule-making, bitchy librarian? Shit, I couldn't call her that anymoreshe was no longer a librarian. Okay, I guess Scarlet would be her only nickname for now. In one word, it got the same point across; bitter, jilted, rule-making, bitchy, stubborn, snobby, the list went on and on. Maybe the question I should be asking was why did Rhett pursue Scarlet all that time? What

made him stick with her? What attracted him to her in the first place?

Gone With the Wind was a movie I never understood and never cared to watch againonce was enoughbut there was something about it, which, to this day, bothered me. Why did Rhett want Scarlet? She was the epitome of a bitchopposite of any woman I'd ever want, so why? Why was she the heroine in that story? It still baffled me, just like my attraction to Bella baffled me. Yes, I was strongly attracted to my Scarlet, and in ways I couldn't comprehend. I'd never fallen like this for anyone, which was why it scared me and why I held back. My only defense was to lash out at her, and so far, it was working.

So here I was on Friday afternoon listening to Bella, Emmett, and Rose talking at Bella's desk about her upcoming date. All I had gathered was that she was meeting this Garrett guy at a restaurant at 6:00 pm and then they were heading over to play indoor mini-golf. The only indoor mini-golf place worth going tothat I could think ofwas right near my parents' house and I

suddenly got an idea.

When Bree answered her phone, she knew right away it was me and her voice rose into that awful cutesy tone I loathed.

"Hey baby," she said and I rolled my eyes.

"Hey, I haven't called at a bad time have I?"

"No, I was just thinking about you."

"What exactly were you thinking?" As annoying as Bree was, the sex was pretty good. Wasn't that the saying though? "All sex is good sex."

"Take me out tonight and you'll find out." Her voice lowered down a couple octaves as she tried to sound sexy, but really it was more annoying than the cutesy voice in its own way.

"That's exactly why I'm calling. I thought I'd take you out to dinner and then to some place for a

little fun."

"Ooh, I like the sound of that. What kind of fun did you have in mind?"

"It's a surprise," I said, knowing full well she was thinking of an entirely different kind of fun.

"Even better."

"Okay, I'll pick you up at 5:00."

"Perfect. I'll see you then." Once the call was over, I pinched the bridge of my nose as my body fought with my mind over what I was doing. I knew I shouldn't lead her on as I had been, but, honestly, we were both getting something out of the relationship; we were just looking for different things and were luckily willing to give each other what we wanted in exchange. All was fair in love and war, right? The problem was I didn't love Bree, nor did I ever feel I could love her. Oddly enough, my

feelings toward Bree were the same as I felt about her in the beginning, and here I was, doing it all over again. Well, not exactly. Bree didn't hold any leverage over me or my career.

Since Emmett and I were our own bosses we always tried to close shop early on Fridays, which was how I was home at a little after four in the afternoon. After a quick shower and a few preparations, I picked up Skittles with a bouquet of gerbera daisiesthey seemed to match her personality; vibrant and perky.

The ride to the restaurant was long but the food was delicious; it was one of the places my parents ate at often, but it had been years since I'd been there. It was a bit disappointing when we didn't run into Bella and her date at the restaurant, but they could've been at any number of restaurants in the areaheck, they could've been in a totally different area. Though we were near the best indoor mini-golf place in the Seattle area, there were others around and they could be at any number of them; but I was banking on this Garrett guy to actually know the city well, which

would mean he'd bring my Scarlet here, to the place I hung out at when I was a kidSeattle's Family Fun Park.

Why was I trying to crash Bella's date? I wasn't exactly sure. All week, while Bella talked and dreamed of this date, a poison started pooling together in my stomach, and, over time, the poison started eating away at my sanity. That's the only rationalization I could come up with, and, to be honest, it was trueI literally felt sick to my stomach all week from hearing about her upcoming date.

That wasn't the only reason though. In the end it came down to wanting to be near her. My body still felt pulled toward her, heck my mind felt a pull toward her and I couldn't explain it. I didn't understand why I craved any conversation with her, even if it meant we fought the entire time, but I did, and when she wasn't near me, I felt empty and lostalone and hopeless. Maybe I just needed to drink more and forget. Or maybe remember what trying to love someone could do to a person would help me out here.

"So, where are we off to now?" Skittles looked excited as she sat in the passenger seat of my car. Unfortunately, I didn't think she'd like our next destination much.

"It's a surprise."

"Oh, come on, Ed, you can tell me now."

Rolling my eyes at her use of a nickname I didn't care for, I sighed heavily. "My name's Edward." "Right. So where are you taking me Edward?" She didn't say my name rudely, more playfully than anything else.

"If you'll be patient just a bit longer, you'll find out."

She prattled on about tons of nonsense I couldn't care less about so I tuned her out as I made the familiar drive to one of my old high school stomping grounds. It had been remodeled since I was

a teenager but the outside still looked the same, and as we pulled into the parking lot with the large, flashing neon lights, I looked over at Bree and almost laughed. The look on her face was absolutely worth the drive. It was a good thing it wasn't summer, or she'd be catching flies with how low her jaw had dropped.

"Family Fun Park? Are you serious?"

"Give it a chance," I pleaded, not really caring what she thought.

We parked in the first available spot and I opened the car door for hermy mother would kill me if I'd done anything less with a datebefore taking her hand and helping her out of the car. We walked hand-in-hand to the building and I could feel the trepidation dripping off Skittles.

"Relax," I said with a smile. "It'll be fun, I promise."

"It better be, Edward, or you're going to have to deal with me calling you Ed all week long."

With the nagging feeling that I would have to endure the annoying, shortened version of my name if I stuck things out with Bree, I laughed as I grabbed a hold of her hand. "Just promise you'll try to have fun." As the last word left my mouth, I noticed Bella's '88 beat up Chevy Camaro in the parking lot. Sometimes I wondered if the men she dated truly appreciated her for the person she wasdespite her damn rules. From what Rose had mentioned, Bella wanted a '69 Camaro and if she ever got it, I knew I'd be kissing her ass to get a ride in itmy Scarlet had some kind of Camaro fetish, which only intensified my attraction to her.

Once inside the dark, noisy warehouse filled with annoying video games and smells from the snack bar, I pulled Bree aside and looked around. Somewhere in the cluster of moving bodies was my Scarlet. I didn't plan on doing what I had done before; interrupting her date, I just . . . I wanted to be there, to watch her. As I'd said before, I needed to be near her, my body craved it.

"So, what are we going to do in here?" Skittles looked quite annoyed and I had to laugh. The place was full of high school aged kids and parents. We were probably the only late twenty-somethings without kids here, well besides Scarlet and Superman.

"How about a round of mini-golf?"

Bree's nose scrunched up, but she nodded her head and I smirked at her. She was actually trying to have funat least for my sake, if not hers. If I had known what time Bella and her date were going to arrive, I couldn't have timed things better. We just so happened to get our putters and balls directly after the object of my . . . no, I wouldn't say affection, that wasn't right. Either way, the happy couple was two holes ahead of uswith no one in betweenand had yet to notice our presence. Luckily, Bree didn't notice Bella either.

For the first two holes, I tried to keep my attention on my date, but she paled in comparison to

my Scarlet. Bella wore a pair of tight blue jeans and a blue blouse that was cut low in the front. Her hair was curled loosely, the spirals bouncing on her shoulders as she cocked her head to the side and smiled up at her date. He was something I wasn't prepared for. In all this time, the guys Bella had dated were around our age. This guythis Supermanwas older, maybe ten years older than Bella, and, if I was honest with myself, girls would consider him attractive.

"What's wrong?" Bree asked as she walked up to me by the hole where our balls sat about two and three feet away.

"Nothing." Planting a smile on my face, I leaned down and kissed her innocently on the lips. She giggled and pulled me in for more, thrusting her tongue inside my mouth. I pulled back and motioned to her yellow ball, encouraging her to take her next shot. It wasn't that I didn't want to kiss her, or maybe it was. It really felt odd at the moment.

Bella and her date seemed to be getting along wonderfully. They were laughing a lot and looking

at each otherflirting. Was this really their first date? It didn't seem to me that Bella ever had a connection with the other guys I'd heard about her going on dates with. Not even the Indian held her attention like this.

When Skittles and I finished the third hole, I actually got a hole-in-one and Bree squealed with delight as she jumped onto me, wrapping her legs around my waist. It shocked me, causing me to stumble backwards, but I smiled and laughed with her. Unfortunately, Bree's excitement was a bit too loud, drawing attention from all the nearby minigolfers. It was then that Bella noticed me and the scowl on her face as she glared at us told me exactly how she felt.

Was I not allowed to come to my old childhood playground? Okay, it wasn't a playground, technically, but in the same sense, this was a place I'd frequented at a certain time in my life. Was it suddenly off limits to me because her date had brought her here? For all she knew, running into each other was truly a coincidence and she had no reason to assume otherwise.

Neither of us said a word as we defiantly stared at each other, but Superman took note of the way his date was looking at me, as did Skittles with the way I looked at Bella. Then recognition finally dawned on Bree's face and she covered herself with a huge, fake smile as she hopped down and raced over to Bella.

"Bella!" It was a high pitched squeal that came out of Bree's mouth and I noticed both Scarlet and her date flinch from the noise along with me. "How funny that we ran into you here!"

Uh oh, I was in trouble with both ladies now. I could tell by Bree's tone that she knew it was no coincidence.

"Very funny," Bella said. She then hesitated a moment and looked up at her date apologetically. "Garrett, this is my boss, Edward Cullen, and his girlfriend, Bree." Would it have hurt her to be more enthusiastic?

Grabbing a hold of his hand, I shook it forcefully and he smiled at me with a look of humor.

What had she told him about me?

"It's nice to meet you, Edward," he said before letting go of my hand and shaking Bree's. "And you too, Bree."

The four of us stood there for a bit before Garrett looked down at Scarlet and noticed her drastic mood change. Great, now he'd get the real Bella, the moody bitch who couldn't regulate her emotions. For some reason, I wanted him to see her turn into the vile creature I knew she could be, I wanted him to not want hershe was my Scarlet.

Instead, she gave him a look of defeat and he smiled at her and then turned back to us. "It was nice meeting you two," he said. "Now if you don't mind, Bella and I would like to continue our game alone."

What was that? Did he just blow me off? And Bella was smiling up at him now, following him over to their next hole, listening as he spoke softly to her. The next half hour dragged on as I kept

a watchful eye on Scarlet and Superman. If you'd heard Bella talking about him all week, you'd know why I thought of him that way. It was as if the guy could do no wrong; even before she'd been on a date with him, she'd had such a high opinion of him.

My date, however, was definitely nothing super. Okay, I wasn't giving her enough credit; but her voice was one I learned I could only take in small doses hence her nickname, Skittles; candy that is too sweet that I can only have a little at a time. Her perfume was too strong, her eyes too big for her head, and her hands too free with my bodyshe physically couldn't keep them off me. If I brushed her hand off one arm, her other hand would touch my other arm; if we sat down on a bench, she placed her hand on my upper thigh; when I stopped to get a drink, she ran her hand up and down my back. It was annoying, really, yet I couldn't help but wonder if I would find Bella's caresses as unwanted as Bree's or if I'd revel in every connection our bodies made.

After our game of mini-golf was finished, we wandered over to the game room and played some video games. Bella and her date were playing some alien shoot-out game together and I watched them enjoying themselves, suddenly feeling guilty for bringing Skittles here. What was I thinking? Why did I want to torture myself like this? Why was I putting Bella through this?

You want her.

Never. Yes, I was infatuated with her and attracted to her, but I didn't want her. Who would want a bitchy, stubborn, snobby, embittered, jilted rule-maker? Definitely not me. I couldn't fathom spending time with a woman whom I'd have to be fearful of making a wrong move around. I wouldn't be free to be myself; I'd always be too worried about following her damn rules and doing the right thing to keep her. That wasn't something I wanted.

"Edward?" It was her voice, my Scarlet, that pulled me out of my outlandish struggle and I

turned to smile at her, stopping when I recognized the sadness in her eyes.

Had Superman done something to hurt her? "Hey, is everything okay?"

"Yeah, um" She looked over at Skittles, who was looking at Bella with uncertainty. Bree wasn't stupid; she could tell there was something about Bella that held my attention. "Can I speak with you? Alone?"

"Yeah, sure." Turning my head, I used my eyes and a nod of my head to tell Bree I'd be right back, and then I escorted Bella over to a quiet corner. "What's wrong?" I asked as soon as we were alone. "Where's your date?"

"He left, well, we both left, but I came back." She paused then and fidgeted, shifting her weight from foot to foot. "Why are you here?" She didn't look angry this time, she looked frustrated and tired.

"I wanted to bring Bree here to show her where I used to hang out as a kid." It was a lie, but there were some truths stuck in there.

"Did you know I was going to be here?"

How was I supposed to answer that? There was no real answer. No, I didn't know for a fact that she'd be hereat this indoor mini-golf jointbut yes, I did know she'd be at an indoor mini-golf park. Was that really an answer? "Not exactly."

"What does that mean?"

Okay, now she was starting to show her anger. "It means I didn't know you would come all the way out to where my parents livewhere Alice and I grew upfor a date."

"But you knew I was . . . ugh!" She placed her fingers at her temples and started rubbing. "Why does everything have to be so complicated with you?"

"Whatever do you mean, Bella?"

Her eyes showed defeat when she looked up at me. "I don't know why you don't like me, and honestly, I'm beyond trying to figure it out, but following me around on my dates, and interfering with my life is too much, Edward."

She thought I didn't like her? She couldn't be farther from the truth. "It's not like that"

"No? Then how is it Edward? What exactly is going on here?" How do you tell the person you've been mean to for the past two months that you actually like thema lot? "Nothing's going on, stop being so paranoid."

"Paranoid? Edward, this is the second time"

"The first time I just happened to be at the same restaurant and this time, you came into my territory with your friend."

She glared at me for a few seconds with her arms crossed over her chest and I had to hand it to

hershe knew how to give a good stare down. I felt like I was six years old again and my mom had caught me sneaking cookies out of the cookie jar. The guilt was horrible back then at six and yet, it seemed worse right now. It should be worse. I didn't just steal Bella's cookies, I was stalking her. How sick and twisted had I become? I was no better than . . . than her.

At the thought of Lauren, I realized how horribly wrong I'd been to come here tonight, how horridly disgusting this all actually was. What was wrong with me? How had I turned into the one thing I despised? I disgusted myself.

"I'm sorry Bella, Bree and I will leave. You don't have to worry about us ruining anything for you."

"That's not what I want," she said with a heavy sigh. "Listen, Garrett already left, our date is over . . . it's just"

"Just what Bella?"

"I don't know really." She paused to look over my shoulder and started laughing. It was the sweetest sound and it softened up her already beautiful face.

"What?" I asked as I turned my head and saw what she was looking at.

Skittles stood between two video games, not quite hidden, but trying to hide, it looked like, watching us. I couldn't hold in my laughter from the situation either. Smiling down at Bella, I held out my hand to her. "Truce?" I asked, and I actually meant it. I hated being at odds with her all the timeit was tiring me out.

"Truce."

For the third time, we shook hands and that searing heat that seeped into me the first time, did once again, melting every wall and barrier I held for my Scarlet. Sure, she'd still be a shrew, but I was starting to realize what Rhett saw in his Scarlet, why he kept pursuing her, why he liked the

bitch in the first place. The warmth Bella brought into my life was worth far more than any argument we could ever have between us.

Chapter Eleven Guideline 12

Guideline 12: Love is blind, so they say. Just because I may think a man is perfect, doesn't mean my friends will. Listen to what your friends say, they know you best, after all. If a man fails their litmus test, set him free.

Thanksgiving dinner was one of my favorite meals to make, which was why I was up at four o'clock on a Saturday morning, putting a turkey in the oven before sitting down to get some more writing done. It obviously wasn't Thanksgiving Day, but this was our "Friends" Thanksgiving; we celebrate it every year together on the weekend before we all leave to go to our various places around the Seattle area. Only this year, it wouldn't just be the five of usour little Thanksgiving dinner had more than doubled in size.

It had been two weeks since my first date with Garrett and everything had been going so well. I was afraid after our first date and run-in with Edward that he'd never want to see me again. I knew I wouldn't have been too happy if a woman Garrett knew showed up to bother us on our date, but, luckily, he was understanding and even handled Edward perfectly. Instead of inviting him and his skank to join us for the evening, as Jake would've no doubt done, Garrett dismissed them and I couldn't have been happier.

Since that night, Garrett and I had seen each other exclusively and we'd just had our fifth date last night. Normally the fifth date was an introduction to my friends, but with our Thanksgiving meal planned, I decided to introduce him to everyone today, which made me extremely nervous. I'd usually take my friends' opinions to heart and let them sway my feelings if they felt a guy wasn't good enough for me or if they thought he wasn't genuine, but I didn't think I could do that with Garrett. Since starting my dating guide, I had yet to find anyone nearly as perfect as he was.

We shared our first kiss on our third date and it was so nice good actually. Each kiss since then had heated up and I was at the point now where I wanted him to go a little further, but how would I tell him that? I was so out of practice. Not one guy had made it this far in . . . too many years. It wasn't that I was ready for sex just yet, but I was ready for more, and more would lead to even more, and then even more . . . the possibilities made me breathless, yet scared.

Besides the sexually frustrated part of me, I was happyvery happy. Not only were things with Garrett going great, but I'd finally finished the short story I'd been working on. With that under my belt, I felt like a new womana free woman, and I was ready to celebrate. The only downside to my life the last couple of weeks had been work and Edward.

The first was going to be resolved shortly. I spoke to Emmett last week and sort of explained my circumstances. See, the fact is, I am Isaiah Strong. I didn't need a full time job; I didn't need any

job for that matter. Other than being extremely curious about how I'd kept it a secret all this timewhich I avoided talking about because I hate attention from the booksEmmett was very understanding and we decided I'd work full time until the week before Christmas and then after the holidays I'd scale down to part time until they could find a replacement for me. In the mean time, he said they'd pull in temps to fill in the hours I didn't work and hopefully find someone that way. It made sense to me, but Edward wasn't the greatest fan of our plan.

Edward. It was really hard to find words that expressed my feelings for him. Since the night he showed up at the mini-golf place and tried to ruin my date with Garrett, we hadn't spoken to each other too much. It was hard to say if that was a good thing or a bad thing. On one hand, I hadn't had to deal with his rude comments and annoying personality, but on the other, our lack of communication deprived me of hearing his voice and looking into his eyestwo things I begrudgingly allowed myself to acknowledge I liked.

We saw each other every day at work, but everything was impersonal; a quick hi, a short question about his schedule, a terse response to a question I had, and a muddled goodbye at the end of the day. On the bright side, he wasn't going out of his way to piss me off anymore, yet I felt empty because of it and then angry for feeling empty.

Sometimes I could actually say he was my savior in ways. Mike continued to come into the office, bothering me with nonsensical chatter and it got harder and harder for me to find ways to politely tell him to leave. If Edward wasn't busy with a client, he would emerge from his office and flat-out tell him to get lost. We'd share glances then, little looks where I thought he was trying to relay some sort of message to me, but unsure quite whathe really was a difficult man to decipher.

He, of course, was still seeing the little skank. Okay, she really wasn't that bad of a person. She seemed nice from what I'd seen, but her voice was ultraannoying and she was too happy all the

time. She came in every day for lunch, sometimes bringing something for her and Edward to eat in his office and sometimes pulling him out to get some fresh air and some food. She and I didn't speak much to each other and I liked it that way.

"You're up too early." Emmett stood in the hallway staring at me as I sat on the couch and I gasped from the sight of him in nothing but a pair of boxer briefs.

The clock said it was a little after seven in the morning. If only he knew how early I'd gotten up. "Sleep well?"

He groaned before disappearing into the bathroom and I chuckled as I got up and started a pot of coffee. Emmett would need it. There was one thing I'd learned about Emmett while working for his law firm: he wasn't a morning person. Every morning he'd come into the office with the largest cup of coffee from Starbucks and bags under his eyes, the morning paper tucked under his arm. He'd sit at his desk with the door openhow I knew his morning routineand drink his

coffee and read the paper. Once the coffee was done, he was fine, but without it, he looked like the walking deadlike something from an Isaiah Strong book.

Once Rosalie had woken, I gave her a list of things she'd need to do while I took a quick nap, then I went to lie down in my room. It was two hours later when I awoke to Jessica in my dining room setting the table.

"Hey Bella," she said as I plopped myself down in a chair. Each year, though Rose and I always hosted our Thanksgiving meal, everyone else took turns with other duties; like setting the table.

"So, who's your date today?" She'd been seeing a few different boys, so I wasn't quite sure who she was bringing.

"You remember that guy Bart from Midnight Sun, don't you?"

"God, that was like three weeks ago, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, well, we see each other still."

"Is he your favorite?"

She shrugged with a mischievous quirk.

"Are you prepared for all of us to meet Garrett?"

Sighing heavily, I stood and stretched my arms over my head. It was hard to not instantly smile at the sound of his name and my attempts to do otherwise were horrible. She started giggling and I rolled my eyes. "He's just so . . . Jess, I really like him."

"Well, I'm sure I'll love him too then."

My eyebrows shot up to her, questioning what she meant and she giggled.

"Not like that."

Thank God. Most of the guys I'd been on dates with, she'd end up with a week or so after. I'd

have to kill her if she ever ended up with Garrett. The thought sent a shiver down my spine and I rubbed my arms to get the feeling out of my system.

A knock at the door dragged me away from Jess and I let Angela and Ben into my apartment. Ben carried the sweet potatoes and I grabbed them from his hands, motioning for him to sit down and relax before depositing the food in the kitchen with what looked like Jessica's green bean casserolemy favorite part of Thanksgiving dinner.

Rosalie emerged from her room, fully clean and clothed, declaring it my turn to get ready. I guess I could've gotten ready at the same time, I did have my own bathroom in my room, but I didn't like for both of us to be missing while our friends did all the work. Actually, all I had done was sit and watch Jess and put food in the kitchenI hadn't done much work at all.

Once I smelled fresh, I walked back out into the living room to see Garrett sitting down, talking with Emmett. Shit. The poor guy had to introduce himself. I apologized profusely to him after a

quick kiss and then sat down for a few minutes to make sure he was getting along with everyone. Unfortunately, I had work to do in the kitchen so I kissed him goodbye before I disappeared. As I pulled the potatoes off the burner to get ready to mash, all I could think about was how good Garrett looked in his khaki pants and brown button-down shirt. For some reason, brown went really well with his coloringespecially his eyes.

"You're smiling," Alice said from my side and I squealed in delight as I threw my arms around her. We barely saw each other anymore. I missed her.

"So?" I asked as I pulled back. "What do you think?"

"He's hot."

"I know, huh?"

"The guys all seem to be getting along with him, and Rose is talking his ear off, I should warn you."

"She is?"

"It's probably all about UDub, you know, since he works there and she's one of their PhD candidates."

"I hope she doesn't annoy him"

"Don't worry about it. Hey, you didn't just put two sticks of butter in there, did you?"

Yes, I had. It was how I always made mashed potatoes. "You don't have to eat them, Alice, but I know you'll love them."

Just then, the most annoying voice filtered into the kitchen and I took a deep breath, closing my eyes so that my face wouldn't betray my feelings to Alice. The annoying skank was dating her brother, after all. What shocked me was the frustrated huff from Alice. Turning, I cocked an eye at my good friend, wondering what the huff was all about.

"Come on, Bella, you of all people must know how annoying she is."

Giggling, I nodded my head and turned back to my potatoes. "Do you see her a lot?" I'm not sure why, but my heart froze as I asked the question. Why was I afraid of the answer?

"Unfortunately. He brings her everywhere we go. One night, I told him I wanted to go out, just me, him, Emmett, and Rosalie, and he brought her along." She had a frown on her face as she opened the fridge and placed a couple of filled pie plates inside.

"Do you not like her?" I really wanted her to say no.

"She's my very best friend now, haven't you heard?" "Huh?"

"Apparently she told Rose that her and I are the 'bestest' of friends." Her eyes rolled on the word, 'bestest'.

"Bestest?"

"Yup. I never before thought about who she was or who she hung out with, but I wonder now. Either she ditched all her friends for Edward or she never had any to begin with."

"So she hangs out with you now?"

"God no, you think I want to hang"

"Alice!"

The annoying voice made its way into the kitchen and I stared at Edward's girlfriend as she flung herself against Alice. They were actually very close to the same height but their bodies were a bit different. Though they both had nice curves, Bree's were a bit rounderfuller.

"I'm so glad to see you. I was telling Edward I hadn't seen you in like, what? Three days? It seems like forever, doesn't it? Maybe we could go shopping. I know how you love the mall, or

we could go downtown? Or maybe to a movie if you wanted? Or we could go shopping first and then to a movie"

"Okay, Bree," I said, interrupting her spastic moment; I had never seen her like this before. When she came to the office, she would say hi and stuff, but never had she gone so crazy and out of breath from talking. Maybe this was why Edward always looked so tired after lunch with her. "Take a deep breath."

She looked insulted that I'd cut her off, but honestly, she needed to chill out. Maybe she was on drugs. It wouldn't surprise me.

"So?" she asked Alice, ignoring me. "What do you say?"

"I don't know," Alice said, "I have a lot of work to do once Thanksgiving is over." Alice turned down a shopping trip? Was she ill?

"Oh, come on, Ed said you love to shop." She actually pouted at Alice and I rolled my eyes.

"The girl's busy, Bree, maybe you can go with one of your other friends."

She turned her eyes at me, glaring now that she wasn't looking at sweet, dear, 'ole Alice, and placed her hands on her hips. She didn't look fierce though, more air-headed than anything else. Thankfully, her moment of staring me down allowed Alice the opportunity to escapethe poor thing. I had no idea Bree was like that. I'd only seen her around Edward though, so maybe . . . I don't know, but maybe she didn't have any female friends? But she'd told me Tyler was friends with her friend's brother. Did she actually ditch her friend to spend all her time with Edward?

Directly after Alice skipped out, Bree followed and I sighed in relief. Everything was almost ready and Jessica and Angela helped while Rose entertained everyone in the living room and Alice, well, I didn't care where Alice was right now as long as she was getting away from her new skanky best friend. Oh, she would never live this one down.

It was finally time to carve the turkey and normally I'd do it myself, but there were men at our Thanksgiving this yearwe sometimes had some, but never one for each of usso I decided to ask Garrett to carve it. Was that the right thing to do? I very easily could've asked Emmett since he was dating Rose and she was co-host, but I really wanted to spend some time with Garrettcall me selfish.

It was my first look at everyone since I'd been hiding in the kitchen most of the day, but there was really only one person my eyes saw when I entered the living room: Edward. He wore khakis today as well. I'd never seen him in anything but jeans or his expensive dress pants for work, but he definitely looked good in them. He wore a brown, orange, and cream striped Rugby shirt with a brown collar, and his hair, as always, was tussled just perfectly. He actually smiled when we made eye contact and I smiled backthis was Thanksgiving and I was one of the hostesses.

It was a bit awkward singling Garrett out, especially when Emmett acted hurt by my snub, but he'd live. Back in the kitchen, Garrett and I talked about my friends. He seemed to like them all, even Edwardwhich shocked me. I thought for sure he'd hate him if only for principle alone, but he had nothing but kind things to say about him. Just wait until dinner, or after dinner; Edward was bound to say something rude to me tonightI could feel it.

Garrett and I were getting quite close to each other while we spoke over the turkey he was carving, and I leaned in to kiss him, startled short when I heard his voice and I closed my eyes, chanting to myself that he wasn't interrupting on purpose.

"Where would you like me to put this?" Edward asked.

"Um," I said, turning toward him, "what is it?"

Edward's eyes widened a bit as they shot between me and Garrett. "Cognac."

Great, the drink he embarrassed Jake over. No doubt, he'd be trying to do the same thing to Garrett. "Just put it anywhere on the counter." I turned my back to him, concentrating on the turkey, which was almost done being carved.

"That'll be nice for after dinner," Garrett said.

"You drink cognac?" Edward's eyebrows rose up in disbelief. "A bit."

For some reason, their exchange had a hint of machismo in it and I rolled my eyes since neither of them could see them. "Garrett?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think we need to carve any more?" I wanted to pull him away from Edward, but instead, it just brought Edward to my other side. I was now sandwiched between the two and I wasn't sure which of them was affecting my heart the way it was. It pounded so fast, I felt it in my throat.

"It looks like enough to me," Edward said, reaching a hand out to grab a piece and popping it in his mouth. "Mmm, that's good Bella, did you make it?"

Who was this man? "Yeah, thanks." I looked up at Garrett and he winked at me. Did he know how uncomfortable I felt with Edward here? "Edward?" I asked, turning back to him. "Can you tell everyone we're ready?"

After a wonderful dinner, where I was surprised nothing bad happened, we sat around for a while talking and since there weren't very many spots available, the little skank sat on Edward's lap in my chair. Yeah, I had one of those chairs which I wouldn't allow anyone else to sit in, and I couldn't believe he'd let her sit in it with him. That seemed to be the undoing to the evening since I couldn't take my mind off the couple and the fact that they were in my chair. Even with Garrettthe man of my dreamssitting next to me with his arm around my shoulders, I couldn't concentrate on any of the conversations around me.

Bree was quite an affectionate girl and I was sure that if Edward would allow it, the rest of us would've gotten a pretty racy show. If her hands weren't rubbing up all over him, her tongue was down his throatit was quite disgusting really, but that wasn't what bothered me the most. The pain in my chest which made me feel like I was having a heart attack was what angered me. Why did their little display make me feel like I was in cardiac arrest?

Luckily I had something to doa host always did.

Retreating to the kitchen, I checked on a pumpkin pie that was in the oven and started to prepare the other deserts. Angela and Jessica joined me shortly after I started pulling everything out and then it wasn't long before both Rose and Alice joined usthe five amigos.

Rose pulled out a half gallon of mint chocolate chip ice cream and five spoons, passing them around to all of us and we started talking.

"So?" I asked, making eye contact with all of them. "What do you guys think?"

"Love him," said Angela with a broad smile. "He's so smart and sweet." "You already know how I feel," Jess said with a wink and I smiled. She'd been mouthing her opinions to me from across the dinner table. Words like, hot, sexy, and wet were the ones I remembered most.

"Alice? Rose?" I asked.

"How old is he?" Alice asked with her nose scrunched up.

Rolling my eyes, I took another spoonful of ice cream. "Does it matter?"

"No, I guess not, but he seems older."

"Well he is older. He's 35."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. What's wrong with an older man?"

"Nothing."

It shocked me that Alice was hung up on his age. So he was a bit older than us, did it really matter? "Rose?" I asked, unsure if I wanted to hear her opinion.

"What can I say? He's gorgeous, friendly, funny, has a great body, is totally infatuated by you, and he passes all your ruleswhat's not to like?"

Laughing, I took another bite of ice cream. Very well put; what's not to like?

"Now you have to spill to us," Jess said. "We want all the details."

"Like what?"

"Is he a good kisser?"

"Yeah, he's good."

"Just good?" Rose asked.

"Yes, he's good, isn't that okay?"

Rose narrowed her eyes at me and shrugged. "As long as you're happy."

"How about Emmett? Is he a good kisser?"

"Toe curling good." She winked at me as she licked the green ice cream off her spoon. Toe curling? Was it sad I'd never experienced a toe curling kiss? It had been years since I'd been that close to anyone before, but even thinking back to the men I'd dated before I started making my dating guidelines, I couldn't think of a time my toes ever curled from a kiss. Was that even possible?

"How about the rest of you?" I asked. "Do you all experience this toe curling thing?"

"Oh, Bella, you've never had a man curl your toes from a single kiss?" Alice looked sad. Did she pity me?

"Should I have? You know my history as well as I do, girls, when would I have had something like that?"

"Not even with Marcus?" Jess asked.

Now there was a name that didn't need to be mentioned. Marcus. In some way, he was the last boyfriend I'd ever really had and the reason for my guidelines in the first place. Okay, that wasn't entirely true; it was a combination of what Marcus did to me along with advice I'd received from both Alice and Rose that started the guidelines. Back to Marcus though, were his kisses good? I thought I had enjoyed his kisses, but if my toes didn't curl, did that mean they weren't good?

"I don't think so." This was depressing.

"And not from Garrett either?"

"I like his kisses. So what if they don't curl my toes?" I threw my spoon into the sink.

"Its okay, Bella," Angela said, rubbing my arm. "It's still early in your relationship. The good kisses are still to come."

Did she just tell me I hadn't had a good kiss from Garrett yet? Was it not good unless my toes curled? "Ben?" I asked. "Is he a toe curler?"

Angela blushed and ducked her head. "Yes."

Even Ben gave toe curling kisses.

"Hey girls!" Little Miss Skank walked into the kitchen, right in the middle of our conversation and we all stopped to stare at her. It wasn't that we weren't open to inviting new people into our circle, we just didn't want to invite herit was an unspoken agreement, not to mention unanimous.

"Well," I said, ignoring the skank, "someone ask the guys what kind of pie they want. Otherwise, it's all ours and they have to go without."

The kitchen emptied quite speedily, leaving me alone with only one other person: Bree. "What would you like?" I asked without looking at her.

"Answers."

"What?" I spun around to face her.

"What's going on between you and Edward?"

Her question made me gasp and I choked a bit on the air that went down the wrong pipe. "What are you talking about?"

"I see the way he looks at you."

"Bree, if there is any person you don't have to worry about, it's me. Edward and I hate each

other."

"That's not what it looks like." She crossed her arms over her chest, her eyes lifting, accusing.

"Oh, pray tell, what does it look like?"

"You constantly stare at him, Bella, and he looks at you too."

Rolling my eyes, I turned my back to her as I started cutting the grasshopper piemy favorite.

"Answer me!"

She didn't just yell at me, did she? For the love of God, she better wish she didn't just yell at me. Without thought, I swung around with the knife I was using still clutched in my right hand. "You are a guest in my home, Bree, don't you dare sit there and accuse me of something so ridiculous."

"Everything okay in here?" Emmett asked, standing in the entryway between the living room and

kitchen. His hands were on his hips, his arms bent out, blocking the view from everyone else.

"Yes," Bree said before turning and pushing her way through Emmett.

"You okay Bells?"

Rolling my eyes, I turned back to my pie. No, I wasn't okay, I was pissed. How dare the bitch accuse me of wanting that prick! Sadly, though, in a way, I thought she might just be right. "Just peachy."

He barked out a laugh. "Between you and me," he said, coming to stand next to me. "Edward can't stand her either."

"I don't care." "I never said you did, I just wanted you to know that if you had stabbed her, he wouldn't have cared."

For some odd reason, the idea of pushing my knife into Bree's chest made me laugh.

Chapter Twelve Guideline 38

Guideline 38: It's the makings for a perfect, romantic evening; soft, alluring music, a savory roast, red wine, and candlelight. It's too easy to be lulled by such a display. Don't accept a date for dinner at his place until after he gets the go-ahead from your friends.

This Thanksgiving meal thing was torture. For the past two weeks, I'd spent all my spare time talking myself out of wanting what I knew I couldn't have: my Scarlett. Instead, I tried to focus on what I could have: Skittles. Shit, she didn't come close to comparing to Bella.

At work, I ignored Scarlett as much as possible and took on her wonderful conversation skills,

answering her in monosyllables and grunts. The only time I paid her any attention was when the ass-wipe, UPS guy came in and bothered her. Why didn't she stand up to him as she did to me or the numerous men she fearlessly dumped? Lord knew she had it in her to be a heartless bitch, so why was she dense when dealing with the man in brown?

So sitting here, having Scarlett so close, watching her with her new boyfriend was killing me. Even worse, I had to act all loving toward Skittles and I just didn't have it in me anymoreI'd lost all physical interest in her the night I realized I wanted Bella.

"What kind of pie would you like Edward?"

"Huh?" I looked up to see Rose standing over me.

"Pie?"

"Oh, yeah, what kind do you have?"

"Pumpkin, grasshopper, apple, pecan"

"Can I get a piece of pumpkin and a piece of grasshopper?"

"Sure, I'll be right back."

When I looked up from my seat, I noticed Superman looking over the books on Bella's bookshelves. It was hard for me to admit, but he actually wasn't that bad of a guy. He pulled out one of the Isaiah Strong books, opened it up, and smiled. I hadn't had a chance to talk to him much, so I went to the kitchen and ignored Emmett and Bella who were whispering by the sink, poured two glasses of cognac, and then brought one over to Garrett. "You read those?" I asked, handing him a drink.

"Yeah, you?" He took the cup and held it in his hand. Bella didn't have brandy snifters, so I had grabbed some wine glasses. He cupped his hand around the bottom and I smiled. Maybe he did know what he was doing.

"Just recently."

"Many critics say he has great insight into the female mind." Garrett walked back to the couch as he spoke, the book still in his hand when he sat down.

"Really?" I sat in the chair opposite him.

"The whole relationship between Henry and Eleanor is pretty shady. They're fuck-friends really, but in a way, they do love each other." He lifted his glass up and breathed in the aroma before taking a sip. At least Bella found someone with class this time.

"Oh man, you're like Rose, seeing romance in everything."

"No, not romance, Edward, love."

"There's a difference?"

"My dad never bought my mom flowers, never took her dancing, or for a picnic out in a flowery meadow, but he loved her dearly. Was he romantic? In the average woman's eyes from today's society, not at all, but he loved my mom."

"Women don't think there can be love without the romance, I almost feel we have to try and be all sappy and hormonal just to prove we love them."

"Candlelight dinners and looks of longing across a crowded room"

As he spoke, I looked up and caught eyes with Bella. She squinted at me and then directly strode toward us. "Bella's on her way over."

He chuckled lightly and placed the book down on the coffee table. Bella's notebook with all her rules was missing from the table and I wondered where she'd hid it. When Bella sat down, she handed a plate with pecan pie to Garrett and began work on her own plate of grasshopper pie.

"So, what're you two talking about?" She smiled at him, but looked hesitantly over to me. What? Did she think I would be rude to him? Okay, maybe I wasn't above that.

"We were just talking about the Strong books. I didn't know you were into vampires." He smiled down at her and she blushed. "They're okay," she said with a shrug.

"No romance, right?" I asked, remembering a conversation we'd had about them not long after we first met.

"According to Rose, there's plenty of romance in the series."

"That's exactly what we were talking about, the difference between love and romance," Garrett said, swirling his glass of cognac around, staring into the amber liquid.

Was he seriously going to have that conversation with her now? Why the hell not? "Your boyfriend here thinks there can be love without romance."

"And why couldn't there be?" Bella asked.

"I agree, but in today's society, don't you think women see the two as the same, as if there can't

be one without the other?"

"Some do," she said, picking the book up in her hand. She stared at the cover for a moment then looked up at me. "I think love is an action that precedes the feeling, not the other way around."

"What?"

"Have you ever tried to be upset with a smile on your face?" Bella asked.

"You're making no sense."

"What she means," Garrett said, "is that our feelings are usually spurred by actions. The action in her example is smiling, and she's right. Even if you're miserable, if you put a smile on your face, eventually, you'll start to feel happy."

"So, acting loving toward someone makes you love them? But what if you can't stand the person to begin with? Or they can't stand you?"

Bella's eyes narrowed on mine and I shrugged.

"Take an old, married couple who've been fighting for years and the woman doesn't feel any love for him anymore nor that he loves her. They've been acting bitter toward each other and growing apart. What do you think would happen if she decided to change and act lovingly toward him?"

"He'd probably die of a heart attack." So I was a little sarcastic, I wasn't sure what he was getting at. I thought of my parents and though they didn't have the perfect marriagewho did?it was obvious they loved each other, even now, over thirty years later.

Garrett chuckled and Bella rolled her eyes at me. "If she started acting lovingly toward him," Bella said, "her feelings would also start to change."

"You're saying she'd start to love him again?" I asked, confused by their logic.

"Actions always come before feelings, Edward," Garrett said.

"But what you're saying would prove women true, that the romance would have to be there for the love to be. Romance would be the action and then the love would follow."

"In a way, but whator whomexactly defines romance? Does a man have to show up with flowers for a date or cook a candlelight dinner for two for a woman to love him?"

"I hope not," I said, thinking about how I'd never picked up a date with flowers or made dinner for anyone, let alone light candles. "So, for Eleanor . . . shit, she's turned on by the fighting, isn't she? The blood and killing gets her all hot and bothered?"

"In a way," Bella said, "you're right. The fighting and killing with Henry is what feeds her desire, but it's more than that." She smirked and placed the book back down on the table.

"So Rose is right? I was reading a romance novel?"

"No, it's not a romance novel. Henry and Eleanor are nothing more than . . . a convenience to

each othera means to an end." Bella blushed, her head down, eyes looking up at me through her lashes. She looked exquisite.

"You really believe that?" Garrett asked, looking down at her with a frown.

"Though I agree there may be some level of love between them, it's not a romantic love. They're friends, the only family each other have, but they're also undead creatures whose hearts no longer beatthey're corpses. God, it's definitely not a love story between the two. That's not what these books are about."

"Exactly." Why did I feel so elated for Bella agreeing with me?

Interrupting our enlightening conversation was Skittles, who came over with two plates of pie and sat on my lap. I hated when she did that shit, but instead of embarrassing her, I had to play it off. I'd already pulled her aside once tonight to tell her to quit with all the groping and kissing, yet she still wasn't getting the hint. Honestly, I didn't know why I put up with her anymore.

"Oh, you like those books too?" Bree asked, picking the book up and thumbing through the pages. "Wow, you even got it autographed?"

Bella shrugged. "Yeah, well, I happened to run into him at a signing."

"Really? I've been to his website and haven't seen anything about him doing signings before." "I was lucky."

"The girl I work with calls this stuff porn."

The warm brandy got stuck in my throat as I coughed from what Skittles had said. Porn? Was she serious? When I looked up, I noticed Garrett was laughing and Bella's eyes were huge, her face red. Was she embarrassed?

"It's erotic fiction," Garrett said, squeezing his arm around Bella's shoulders reassuringly. "There's nothing wrong with it."

"I totally agree; this stuff is hot. One of my guy friends actually uses it to jack off to."

Oh man, would she ever shut up? Bella had apparently heard enough as she abruptly stood and shook her head at Superman's questioning eyes before walking away.

"What? What did I say?" Skittles asked, her eyes darting between mine and Superman's

"I think you just insulted our host by telling her she reads porn."

"Well it is, haven't you read it?"

"Yes, but I wouldn't call it porn, the main story revolves around the revolution and Henry's battle between his lost humanity, the bloodlust, and taking control of his coven's lost land. It's more of an adventure as he embraces his new life and love . . . a strange twist to the coming of age storyline." It didn't fail my notice that I'd said the word 'love' in my ramblings. There was love in

the story, but it was more about Henry's love of killing and embracing the monster he'd become.

"Come on, it's full of smut and you know it."

Okay, there were a lot of graphic sex scenes, but that was how the story was as a wholegraphic. The battle scenes were extremely bloody and gruesome, it wouldn't be right to have a gentle, romantic sex scene between the two main characters, first because there was no romance between the two and secondly because it had to be graphic or it just wouldn't fit with the rest of the book. And I'd also be honest and say that I had gotten turned on more than once by the sex in the book, so I did see Bree's point, but I never jacked off to it.

"You have a valid point," Superman said. "I don't think Bella's upset with anything you said, don't worry about it."

How would he even know? They'd shared a look before she left but never said anything to each

other. What? Did they now share some sort of mind reading capabilities? Were they now bonded because they'd been on enough dates for Bella to invite him to meet her friends? Oh, and they were kissing now. Did she tell him when he was finally allowed to plant one on her or when he was able to grab her tits? Had he done that yet? "Edward, what's wrong? Why the fuck did you just growl?" Bree asked with a scowl.

"Huh? What're you talking about?"

She rolled her eyes and went back to eating her pie. Garrett wasn't sitting across from us anymore, so I stood with Skittles in my arms and placed her on the chair before sitting in his spot. My cognac was my lifeline nowthe only thing that was keeping me sane. At this point in the night, I wanted nothing more than to boot Bree in the ass and never see her again. There was nothing fulfilling with being with her, not even the sex satisfied me anymore. Did it ever? I wanted it to, but to be honest, I felt disgusted with myself every time we finished.

"Hey man," Emmett said close to my ear, leaning over the back of the couch. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" He darted his eyes over to Skittles and I stood, bringing my brandy with me, following him down the hallway toward Rose's bedroom.

We didn't go in her room, but stood outside in the hall. "What's up?"

"You need to keep Bree away from Bella." The man's arms were crossed over his chest, his eyes looking down at me.

"What?" I had no idea what he was talking about. As far as I could tell, they avoided each other they always did. Even in the office I noticed they barely said two words to each other. The longest conversation they'd had just happened and I was there, Bree didn't do anything wrong. It wasn't her fault Bella got offended over nothing of consequence.

"Dude, she cornered Bella in the kitchen earlier"

"Cornered her? I've been with her most the night" But I hadn't been and when I went to grab the cognac for Garrett and I, Emmett and Bella were whispering to each other. What had happened?

"Not the entire night, obviously. I saw the whole thing."

"What did she want?" I wasn't going to try and defend the bitch anymore. If she bothered my Scarlett, there'd be hell to pay.

"She accused her of eye-fucking you."

"What? She's insane. Bella and I"

"Hate each other. Trust me; everyone believes the ruse but me."

What did he mean? Did Bella go around telling them how much she hates me? Could she really despise me that much? My stomach became heavy and the drink I was swallowing turned sour.

Deep in the back of my mind, I always thought there was something between us, but maybe I was the delusional one. "I'll handle it," I muttered as I turned to walk back to the living room.

"No, Edward, you've had your chance. If she says anything else to Bella, I'm handling it."

The over-protective bear, which Emmett had become toward Bella, was really getting on my nerves. Why him? Why did he feel the need to become her hero? Did she even want him to champion her? It wouldn't happen, not tonight. As soon as I left the hallway, I grabbed a hold of Skittles and we left, never once saying goodbye or thanks to either Bella or Rose. It was nothing less than what they'd come to expect from me anyway.

Getting rid of the annoying, now-sour Skittles was harder than I anticipated. For some reason, she showed up at my apartment on Sunday, after I'd spent hours the night before telling her it was over. I'd left her at her place crying on Saturday and then Sunday she was at my place

smiling and extra chatty. Games were something I wasn't willing to play with herthere was already one psycho bitch I was running from in my life and I didn't need another.

So I broke up with her again, this time not caring if I hurt her feelings. I was blunt and honest, which ended with a stinging slap across my face. What confused me was that I'd never hinted at having any feelings for her; I thought I'd always been open about the fact that our relationship was casual. It was for pleasure only and that was all. I gave her someone to go on dates with and she gave me good head, the sex was only marginal so it wasn't even worth discussing.

The rest of my Sunday was spent trying to figure out what it was I felt for Bella, if anything at all. Having a relationship with Bree was nothing I had to think about; it was easy because my heart wasn't invested. If I went after Bella, there was no way it could be anything remotely easy or impersonalshe had already invaded my mind and I had a feeling she'd control my heart as well if she'd have me.

There were two problems with that: First, she would never have me. I knew there were rules of hers I didn't meet. There was no way she'd ever consider me; especially now that she had a boyfriend. Secondly, I wasn't exactly in a position to have a serious relationship; the kind of relationship Bella deserved. Lying to Bree about my past wasn't a big dealshe wasn't anything important to me. But with Bella . . . I could never carry on a relationship without explaining everything from my past to her. She'd need to know about Lauren and the volatile situation with herit just wouldn't be right to not tell her.

In the end, Sunday proved to be a day where I got nothing accomplished or figured out. On Monday I went to work, hoping to have some sort of clarity when I saw my Scarlett, and was harshly disappointed. Bella never showed up for work and when I called her cell phone, she didn't answer. When I spoke to Emmett about it, he told me she had the day off, which only pissed me off more. Why hadn't I been notified she had the day off? Shouldn't I be told of these

types of things? When I asked what she was doing, Emmett lifted his eyebrows and shook his head, dismissing me. Was it too much to ask for a little communication? Oh wait, this was the one-word wonder we were talking about. Maybe she did say something to me over the course of the previous week, giving me one word of her vacation request a dayit would be so typical of her.

By the time Tuesday rolled around, I wasn't in the mood to see Bella's smiling face when I walked in the office. Luckily, we'd both gotten used to saying only a quick 'hi' as I'd walk in and nothing else, because that's all I had in me now. For the first hour of the day, I sulked in my office, unable to concentrate on anything but what I wantedno, neededto say to Bella. The only problem was that I knew I couldn't say it. She'd most likely laugh in my face and then ramble off all the rules of hers I didn't meet. There had to be another way.

Inspiration hit like defensive tackle and I couldn't fight the desire for starting my plan nowI

didn't want to wait until after Thanksgiving. Besides, I wasn't sure how much longer Bella would be working with us since she'd already made a deal with Emmett about working reduced hours after the New Year until we found someone to replace her. Opening my door, I decided to start my plan now, right away. It would be a bit odd, considering I'd never asked her to lunch, but I also hadn't been openly rude to her in a while, so maybe that would count for something.

"Cullen and McCarty, PLLC, how may I help you?"

Scarlett was on the phone answering a call, so I waited inside my office behind my door which was cracked open.

"May I ask who's calling?" She paused slightly and then said a little louder, "Hello? Ma'am, are you still there? Hello?" She huffed quietly before I heard her hang up the phone, and then I stepped out.

"Everything okay?" I asked, walking slowly up to her desk. She was wearing a deep blue

cashmere sweatermy favorite color on her.

"Um, yeah, I think we got disconnected." She looked down at the phone with a frown, then back up at me. "She'll call back."

"It's getting close to lunch time."

Looking over at the clock on the wall near the ugly, boring pictures Emmett picked out for our office, Bella bit down on her bottom lip. Did she already have plans for lunch?

"I was wondering if you would like to get something to eat with me?"

When her eyes shot back to mine, I noticed the flickers of gold that flashed in them whenever she was angry or upset, but how could my asking her to lunch upset her? I was her boss, wasn't it normal for a boss to invite his secretary out to lunch at times? She still hadn't replied.

"There's something I'd like to talk to you about."

"Oh?" "Yeah, I thought maybe we could discuss it over lunch."

"What's wrong with right now?"

"We both have to eat, don't we?"

Her lips pursed together as her eyes looked deeply into mine. "What about Emmett, shouldn't he come too?"

"He doesn't have anything to do with what we need to talk about."

Her eyes narrowed on me. "So this isn't work related?"

Shaking my head in reply, I kept my eyes on hers, not wanting to break the contact.

"No," she said.

"What?" Did she just turn me down for lunch?

"No, Edward, I don't want to go to lunch with you."

"Bella, I'm trying to be your friend here."

"Well I don't want to be yours. You're my boss and we can be friendly towards each other, but that's it."

"Will you please go to lunch with me? For Alice?"

She snorted, shaking her head back and forth. "Don't bring Alice into this. She has nothing to do with . . . us, and you know it."

"Us? Why, Ms. Swan, you're getting a bit ahead of yourself. There is no us." What? The bipolar bitch turned me down, was I supposed to be all smiling and happy about it?

Her cheeks turned pink then and I almost felt guiltyalmost.

"Is there anything else?" she asked through her teeth.

"Jesus, Bella, why can't you act like a normal person? What? Are you afraid going out to lunch with me would be a date? Don't flatter yourself; I know I don't pass your rules. I'm not trying to get in your pants or anything, I just wanted to take you to lunch so we could talk about Alice's birthday that's coming up."

"Alice's birthday?"

"Yeah, it's on Christmas Day." "I know when her birthday is." Her jaw hardened as if I'd insulted her.

For the love of all that was holy, why was I even trying? Not only had she turned me down, but she was being down right rude. "Then you also know she loves surprises."

She smiled. "Yeah, she practically vibrates at the thought of someone throwing her a surprise party, but we've never been successfulshe always finds out ahead of time."

"That's because you didn't have me to help plan before."

"What are you saying? Are you going to throw her a surprise party?"

"No, we are going to throw her a surprise party."

"We?" Her eyebrows lifted up in question and I laughed. I actually fucking laughed. This had to be the first time she'd ever emitted that type of response from me.

"Come to lunch with me and we'll talk about it."

It only took a few seconds of her staring at me to decide and I tried to capture all the emotions that twisted across her face but they went so fast, I didn't have time to identify them all.

"Okay."

"Okay." I smiled brightly. "Let me just get my coat and then we can go."

On the way out the door, I held it open for her and she rolled her eyes at me. Yeah, I'd just broken one of her rules and it wouldn't be the last. The walk down to the restaurant was quiet, neither of us daring to look at the other. When we were led to our table, I held her seat out for her and was shocked when she didn't object or look annoyed. We looked over our menus in silence, which was killing me; we'd spent so much time together around other people, but being here togetheralonefelt totally different.

We placed our orders with the waitress, who smiled a bit too much in my direction, and were left with nothing to hide behind since the menus were gone.

"So?" Bella asked. "What's your plan for Alice's birthday?"

Here was the part I hadn't quite figured out yet. All I'd been thinking about was finding a way to spend time with Bella, I used Alice's birthday as an excuse and now I was stuck. "Well, I just thought we could throw her a surprise party. That in itself would make her happy."

"And how do we go about doing that? What've we been doing wrong all these years?"

"Predictability." "Really?" She didn't sound so convinced.

"Let me guess," I said, leaning forward in my seat. "You always plan the party to be right before Christmas, probably the last get-together between all of you before you take off to your parents' houses for the holiday?"

Her eyes narrowed and her teeth imprisoned her bottom lip. "We don't have any other time to do it."

"Of course you do, how about on her actual birthday? No one has to work that day."

"On Christmas day? I'll be four hours away and everyone else has family events"

"It's one year, Bella. Can't you wake up early, open your gifts, and then explain to your parents you have a birthday party to get to? We could start the party around six at night or so to give everyone time to get there. She wouldn't suspect a thing."

"Well, I normally don't do much in the evening"

Our food arrived while she was speaking, cutting her short, and we spent the next twenty minutes or so eating quietly. What was with the silence? "So, you're going home for Thanksgiving?"

She finished swallowing and then said, "Yeah, I leave tonight."

"It's too bad you won't be here for the day after. Alice is a huge Black Friday shopper."

"Tell me about it. I spent Thanksgiving at your parents' house two years ago and she wouldn't even let me sleep. We were out the door right after dessert and standing in line at a store with blankets wrapped around us all night." She giggled a little. "Never again, Edward, it was too

traumatizing."

Two years ago I'd celebrated Thanksgiving with Emmett's family in Boston. I had always tried to save my vacation time so I could come home for Christmas. That was the only time I really came home from Boston toward the end. At first, when I started at Harvard, I would come home for all the school breaks, but once I had gotten a job, it was harder to get away.

To think I could've met Bella years ago and under different circumstances. Would I have acted differently toward her if I'd met her in my own home, without her rules coming up? Huh, her rules. It wouldn't have mattered when I met her. The fact would always be that I don't measure up to her standards.

"I'll be going with her this year," I said, speaking of Alice and her Black Friday shopping spree. "Got any pointers for me? I'm a virgin."

Bella's eyes widened and her face paled. What did I say? What? Was the word 'virgin' too much for her ears? I wasn't

even speaking about sex; it had nothing to do with sex. Scarlett really needed to soften up and get the stick out of her ass.

Instead of continuing the apparent offending conversation, Bella changed the subject back to Alice's party. "We should talk to the girls; they'll have all kinds of ideas"

"No, that's also where you've failed in the past," I said. "No one else can know."

"How are we supposed to get them all to the party on Christmas day if we don't tell them about it?"

"We'll tell them right before they leave for Christmas break. No one else can know while we're planning. In case you haven't noticed, Alice is good at reading people. If she so much as suspects someone is talking about something behind her back, it's over. She'll automatically assume it's for her birthday."

"Then why don't you plan this all on your own? We wouldn't want her to suspect anything with us talking."

The way she huffed out her chest when she spoke actually made me laugh. She got upset over the silliest things. "She knows we hate each other, Bella. She won't see a thing coming."

Her eyes puckered up in the middle and she scowled at me slightly. "Is that why you're asking for my help? Because Alice knows we hate each other?"

Why did it sound wrong coming from Bella's lips? Didn't she hate me? I always assumed she did, but now I wondered. Maybe she didn't, maybe it was all my imagination.

"Maybe we don't hate each other, Bella, but anyone can see we aren't the best of friends."

"Is that why?"

"Yes." No, it wasn't why I was asking her to help me with this, but I couldn't tell her it was all a plan to get to know her better, now could I? I might as well confess that I was completely, totally and irrevocably in love with hereveryone in greater Seattle could easily guess how that conversation would go.

"Okay, so what do we do? What's your great idea?"

"That, I haven't figured out yet. We can both think about it over Thanksgiving and talk when you get back."

"Okay," she said, going back to her meal.

Was this our first conversation where neither of us yelled at the other? It was hard to tell, really. Saturday night we'd talked a little without any explosions. Maybe she'd held herself back since Superman was there? In a way, I missed her anger. At least when she was mad at me I knew I invoked some feeling in her. Right now, as she sat across the table from me, finishing up her

meal, I wasn't sure where her mind was or what she thought or felt.

Chapter Thirteen Guideline 31

Guideline 31: There's nothing more intimate than meeting a man's family, or more awkward than to hear a man's mom rave about her son when you're not sure you feel the same way. If you can't honestly say that he's the one, then it's too early to meet his family.

If the phone rang and the person on the other line didn't speak again, I was going to hurl the thing across the waiting area and through the wall that separated me from Edward's office. What a great welcome back from my Thanksgiving break! After walking into the office to find Edward's door shuthe must've come in extra earlyI'd been bombarded with the phone ringing over and over again with no one on the other end. Not only that, but Edward had only said two words to

me today"Welcome back." That was it.

Why did it matter if he spoke to me or not? Why did I care? I didn't care. Really, I didn't. Tonight I had plans to have dinner with Garrett and my trip to Forks had turned out great, there was nothing for me to be upset about; except that Edward Cullen, asshole extraordinaire, was ignoring me.

No, I wasn't going to think about him again. I'd already wasted too many hours of both my awake and sleep time over the past few days with him on my mind. After meeting with him on Tuesday before I left for Forks, he was all I could think about. I couldn't figure out what he was trying to pull, why he was being nice to me all of a sudden. There had to be some angleguys always had one.

Luckily, his not-so-charming personality didn't ruin my entire weekend at home. It had been a while since I'd been back and I immediately ventured deep into the dark woods surrounding my

parents' home to find my place of solitude, otherwise known as Isaiah Strong's workshop. Yeah, okay, so it wasn't the only place I wrote, the small cottage surrounded by nothing but green moss and trees, but it was where everything began that first summer I'd been home from college.

I'd had a story in my head for months during the school year and when I'd returned home and stepped into my great-grandfather's old hunting cabin, which was now practically a shack about a mile into the woods behind my parents' house, I'd pulled out my laptop and started typing. The story was finished within a month and then I spent the last few weeks of my summer break editing the crap out of it and getting my query letter ready to send out to agents. No one knew what I was doing that summer, and up until an agent picked me up and then got me multiple offers from publishing companies, I'd kept it a secret.

Now Isaiah Strong had three New York Times Best Sellers and the fourth book in my vampire series was getting ready to be published. I'd made the final edits on it around Halloween and then

sent it off; right now, it was scheduled to be released in early May.

The phone rang again, pulling me back into the present. "Cullen and McCarty, how may I help you?" Nothing; no one said anything. "Hello? I know you're there, I can here you breathing." Frowning from the sound of a click on the other end, I hung up the phone with force, wishing I had the balls to hurl the thing.

"Hey Bella," a familiar voice said from the door to the office and I turned to smile at Jessica.

"Hey Jess, how was your Thanksgiving?"

After a tight hug, she pulled away and shrugged her shoulders. "Okay."

"Just okay? What happened?"

"Bart turned out to be a jerk."

"What'd he do?"

"We went out Friday night and had a run-in with an exgirlfriend of his."

"Ugh, not good."

"Worse, I kept catching him looking over at her and he wasn't paying attention to anything I said."

"I'm sorry Jess." I really was. Though we weren't the closest in our little group, I still loved her as a sister and I wanted her to be happy.

"It's okay. I think it hurts worse than normal because I'm the only one alone now."

"What do you mean? You have me and the girls and we'll always be"

"That's not what I mean and you know it."

She was right. Rose had Emmett, Alice had Jasper, Angela had Ben, and now I had Garrett.

Having everyone over to the house for our little Thanksgiving meal was so amazing this year because we all had dates. Actually, I was the only one who'd never had a Thanksgiving date before this year.

"If it means anything, Garrett and I are still new, and with my guidelines, you never know what's going to happen from one day to the next."

That brought a giggle to my friend's lips and I leaned forward, over my desk, for another hug. Just as we started pulling away from each other, the infamous man in brown walked into the office.

"Hey Bella," Mike said, strutting over to us. He still wore the brown shorts, though it was actually quite cold out today.

"Hey Mike, this is my friend Jessica. Jess, this is Mike."

There was a moment when they shook hands where I thought for sure Mike's eyes actually twinkled and Jessica blushed, but it disappeared quickly.

"Nice to meet you Jessica," he said with his over-used charm.

"You too." Jessica turned to look at me and raised her eyes with a giant smile.

"Um, Mike," I said, "Jess is one of my best friends. She works for Coca Cola."

"Coke?" His eyes never left hers the entire time we'd been speaking.

"Yeah, I promote our Coke machines. I've been trying to get Bella to put one in her apartment, but she won't give in."

"How cool, I'd love to have one in my apartment, how much does it cost?"

"Nothing. We bring the machine over and you set your own price and then Coke gets fifty cents for each soda purchased. So, if you set the cost at fifty cents, you don't make any money, but if

you set it at a dollar, you'll make fifty cents for each coke sold."

"Really? They'll bring it over to my place for free?"

Shaking my head, I started to laugh. "I really don't think they'll put a Coke machine in your apartment, Mike, but maybe your apartment building. It would need to be somewhere where more than one person could access."

"Bella's right," Jess said with her cute smile. Jess had a way with men; she had a smile that lured them init never failed. It wasn't sexy, really, but cute, I guess. I wasn't quite sure what guys saw in it, but it worked all the time and seemed to do the trick on Mike.

"I'll talk to the owner of my building today."

"What are you doing here Mike?" Edward asked, his head poking out of his cracked-open door. "You know I don't want you wasting Bella's time."

With nervous looks to both me and Jessica, Mike smiled weakly and then skittered out the office.

"I'm going to take off for lunch," I said, not looking at Edward. "I'll be back in a bit." Edward's reply sounded very much like a grunt and then his office door shut.

Sighing heavily, I grabbed my purse and locked my computer screen before I looked over at Jessica. "Ready to go?"

Lunch with Jessica ended up being a lot of fun. We talked about the good times we had before prick bosses, reminiscing about our wild and crazy college days. Well, Jessica's college days were wild and crazy, while mine were more tortured and stressful. Stressful because I went through the process of editing and re-editing myIsaiah Strong'sfirst novel while trying to carry on a full coarse load and tortured because I was still looking for my Mr. Darcy for a good part of my sophomore yearyes, looking for the man of my dreams was torture.

"Oh," Jessica said, "I ran into Mary Tierney over the weekend."

"Really? What did she have to say?"

"Well, I'm not sure if you really want to know, I mean, it's about him."

Him. Yeah, this probably wasn't something I'd want to hear, but it'd been years. I could handle hearing about the man who'd shattered my delusions of true love and destiny. "I'm fine, Jess. What did she say about Marcus?"

"Well, he's got testicular cancer."

"What?"

"I don't know the specifics but she said he's going through chemo and radiation treatment."

"Oh man." For some reason, even though I felt bad for him, I didn't really care. Was that wrong

of me? Should I care more? In a way, it felt a bit like poetic justice. He couldn't keep the damn thing in his pants and now it was diseased. Was I a horrible person for thinking it was somehow karmic justice for the way he'd been before?

"You okay?"

"Um, yeah, I just . . . is it wrong that I don't really care?"

A sly smile slid onto Jessica's face. "Not at all."

The entire rest of our lunch, I couldn't stop thinking about Marcus, which I knew was unfair to Jessica because I wasn't a very good listener, but I did spend quite a few monthsalmost a yearthinking he was the man of my dreams, my Mr. Darcy, the man I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with. And now he had testicular cancer and I didn't care. Shouldn't I care? If I had really had any feelings for him at all, shouldn't I feel horrible for him? Should I send him a card?

Dear Marcus,

Sorry about your balls.

Love, Bella

Nah, that'd be too tacky, and the truth was that I wasn't sorry. The moment he stuck his dick into the little Alpha Chi Omega sorority girl, I stopped caring about him, his dick, and what were now his diseased balls.

"Earth to Bella."

"Huh?"

Jessica stared at me with concern. "Are you sure you're okay? I can call Rose or Alice"

"Yeah, seriously, I'm fine. Just thinking." With a shrug, I took a sip of my Coke, trying to forget the humiliation and trauma from finding him in the act of screwing someone else.

For years I'd troubled myself over what would've happened had I not decided I was ready to have

sex with Marcus. I mean, the only reason I found out about him and the sorority slut was because I'd decided I wanted him to be my first and once I'd made the decision, I didn't want to wait to tell him. It was with great determination and excitement that I marched four blocks to his frat house and upstairs to his room. Looking back, I should've known something was wrong because all his frat brothers had given me weird looksmost of them smiling at me funnyas I walked past them in the house. Were they actually happy that I was going to catch him in the act? What a sick and twisted world we live in.

Lunch with Jessica was over sooner than I'd have liked and I ventured back to work, still thinking of Marcus and how the drama with him screwed me up. Was I really screwed up though? For a while after finding him banging the slut, I refused to date and when my girls tried to talk me into getting back into dating, I'd told them there was no such thing as true love, so why bother? Had I really given up on love so easily? Did I really even love Marcus to begin with? His kisses had never curled my toes either.

Thankfully, I wasn't able to think much more about Marcus because I had tons of work to do after lunch. Emmett still hadn't returned from his Thanksgiving in Bostonhis flight was cancelled yesterday due to a snow storm in Bean Townand so I'd spent a lot of my morning rescheduling his meetings and now I had to get things ready for him when he arrived in the morning.

Edward remained in his office all afternoon and then right before I was about to get ready to leave for the day, he called me into his office. Now, the last time we'd spokenother than a few words todaywe actually seemed to get along, but that didn't mean we'd get along today. Actually, I feared the worse as I walked through the door to his office and sat in a chair opposite his desk. "How was your Thanksgiving?" he asked.

"Good, yours?"

"Okay."

Why did everything between him and I seem strained? Even the air between us felt heavy.

"Are you free for dinner tonight?" he asked.

"Excuse me?"

"I thought we could talk about Alice's birthday party."

"Oh, yeah, no"

"Well, which is it?"

"No, I've got plans with Garrett."

At the mention of Garrett, Edward's eyes seemed to turn a greenish-grey color. "So you're still seeing him?"

"Um" My mind couldn't think straight, it was full of questions as to why he'd turned so angry.

"Do you have anything work-related to ask me about?"

"Well, yes, now that you mention it. I want to make sure you understand that even when you leave here, you will still be under the confidentiality agreement you signed at the beginning of your employment."

Was he for real? "Edward, I'll be here for at least another month, most likely another two or three"

"It's just a reminder, Bella." His lips were set in a hard line and I wondered why his pesky little girlfriend hadn't come in to see him today. If having sex with her would remove the stick up his ass, I was all for the annoying skank to come for a visit. Heck, I'd even put up a banner and play her some intro music every time she walked in the door. I wouldn't bow down and salaam thoughhis good mood wasn't worth that much.

"I'll keep it in mind."

"Do you know where you'll be going?"

"Going?"

"Your new job; have you already accepted another position?" "Um, I'm not" Telling Emmett about Isaiah Strong was one thing, but telling Edward would not only be disastrous, but embarrassing. His girlfriend called my work porn, for Christ's sake. "Not yet."

"If you need a letter of recommendation, let me know."

"I will."

It seemed as if we were playing some sort of staring game with each other for a while. It was quite freakish how long he could go without blinking.

"Emmett will be back in the morning," he said after the longest minute of my existence.

"Yes, he called and told me earlier."

Every word said between us seemed forced and I wondered what he was thinking; why he even bothered to try and communicate with me. Emmett was the one who usually kept me informed of things going on in the office or asked for me to do research or other help.

By the time I actually left work, I was beat. Though writing was tiring to me, working in Emmett and Edward's office was ten times worse, and all I wanted to do was curl up in my bed with a book, but I couldn't; Garrett would be picking me up for dinner soon.

"Jess called," Rose said as soon as I took one step into our apartment and I immediately knew what they had spoken about.

"What'd she say?" I kicked off my shoes and slumped down into my chair with a sigh.

"That she was a stupid bitch and brought up Marcus today at lunch."

"Did she really call herself a stupid bitch?"

"No, but she knows she is." Rose sat across from me on the couchexactly where Garrett had sat when we spoke with Edward about my books. "Want to talk about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about."

"She told me that Marcus has testicular cancer."

"Yeah."

"Serves him right."

A small laugh escaped my lips and I felt horribly guilty. "I shouldn't be laughing at this, it's really not funny." "No, but if it makes you feel better"

"But it doesn't. I don't feel better. I feel . . . I feel numb."

"You've felt numb since the day you walked in on him and the slut."

"And it feels worse every time I think of him."

A hideous knock sent an alarm through me but before I could jump up to get the door, Rose was there, opening it up and Alice stormed in.

"Are you all right?" Her little hands reached out and I let her wrap herself around me, squeezing me tight.

"I'm fine," I said into her shirt and she pulled back to look down at me. "I'm fine, really."

"No she's not," Rose said from back in her seat.

"Really, guys, I appreciate the gesture, but you can't keep bailing me out emotionally. There are going to be days when his name is brought up or I'm reminded of him in some way."

"You aren't crying." Alice let go of my body as she stood back and stared at me. I felt more like a specimen to be taken apart and examined than a human being to be comforted and loved. Then a smile rose on her face. "You aren't crying."

"No, I'm not crying." I glanced over to Rose to see the same big smile on her face that was on Alice's. "Can someone tell me why that makes you so happy? It's not like I cry all the"

"You usually cry when Marcus is brought up, but even on Thanksgiving, you didn't cry. I can't believe we didn't notice it then." Alice sat her butt down on the edge of the coffee table between me and Rose. "You're finally healing."

"She still feels numb though."

"It'll go away." Alice's head bobbed up and down, as if she were nodding, yes, to herself. "Garrett must be good for you."

Ugh. Why did the mention of his name make me feel uneasy? Maybe it was because he was going to be here to pick me up at any moment and I wasn't ready yet. "Speaking of which, I need to get ready for my date."

When Garrett arrived, I was still in the bathroom, curling my hair, so Rose and Alice, who decided to stay for a while, kept him company. I could hear the soft murmur of their voices as they talked, but had no idea what they were saying. Tonight would technically be our seventh date and to be honest, I was extremely worried he'd screw something up or break one of my guidelines. No other man had made it this far before.

He took me out to eat at a tapas bar and we talked about our Thanksgivings mostly. His mom was doing better; she'd had knee surgery back in October, but apparently was making a great recovery. His younger sisterwhom was actually older than me by a couple yearshad brought her new boyfriend home and I was afraid that Garrett was going to ask me to meet his parents

but, thankfully, he didn't. If he had, he would've broken one of my guidelines, so I was so relieved when he hesitated a little before changing the subject to ask about my weekend.

Since it was a work night for both of us, we decided to end the evening after dinner and when he brought me home, I debated on asking him in. If Rose hadn't been home, it wouldn't have been an issue because I just wouldn't have thought of asking him in, but since she was home, I considered it. Unfortunately, I just wasn't sure. Though I was ready to take things between us a bit further, there was something holding me back and the reality of what it was soured my stomach: Edward fucking Cullen. Why were his green eyes constantly passing through my thoughts?

Even though I didn't invite Garrett in, it didn't mean I wasn't going to kiss him. This time, I initiated the kiss, a bit saddened when my toes didn't curl up. That was fine though because in all honesty, I thought my friends were full of it. Toe curling kisses were only for fools in La-La

Land, who thought there was only one true person in the world they could love, which just wasn't true. I didn't need toe curling kisses because I knew that those kinds of kisses didn't mean anything when it came to matters of the heart.

See, once I find the perfect mansomeone who meets all my guidelinesI have every intention of falling in love with him the real way; by showing him love. There could be any number of men who are right for me. Once I find a decent candidate, then the love would just flow between us from the way we treat each other. I could make it work with any number of men, I just needed to find the right onewho fit all my standardsand right now, that seemed to be Garrett.

Ending our kiss with a couple of chaste ones to my lips and cheek, Garrett left me at my apartment door and I watched as he walked to the elevator. Over the break I'd spoken to Garrett on the phone and we'd made plans to meet for lunch tomorrow, so I knew I'd see him soon, but I just wanted to watch him until he was no longer in my sight. How had I ended up with someone

so perfect?

When I opened the door to my apartment, I was exhausted and ready to crash into my bed and pass out. Unfortunately, I walked into my living room to find Rose, Emmett, and Edward sitting around talking.

"Hey," I said as I kicked of my shoes, and for some reason, my arms started burning as a rush of heat enveloped my body, my heart pounding in my chest, and I couldn't keep my eyes off Edward. He was dressed in a pair of faded jeans, a plain, white t-shirt, and a light blue button down shirt that was left open.

"How was your Thanksgiving?" Emmett asked as he stood and wrapped his arms around me. "Great, Em, how was yours?"

"Long. I couldn't wait to get back home."

Wow, he was already thinking of Seattle as home. "Well you've got a lot of work lined up for

tomorrow."

"Yeah, I should probably get to bed." He sat back down next to Rose on the couch and draped an arm around her shoulders.

"How was your date?" Rose asked.

"Nice."

"Wow, he hasn't broken anyhey!" Emmett stopped his question when Rose hit him, but I knew he was going to ask about my guidelines.

"No, he hasn't broken any of my guidelines."

"All right, we're going to bed," Rose said, pulling Emmett up off the couch. "We'll talk tomorrow."

"Of course." Yawning, I hugged her goodnight and then watched as they walked down the hall together.

"Tired?"

Turning my eyes to Edward, I stared at him for a moment. What was he doing in my apartment and why hadn't he gotten up to leave yet? Honestly, I really didn't care about the answers to those questionsI enjoyed being close to himbut I was curious.

"Yeah, it's been a long day." I sunk into the couch, which was still warm from Emmett and Rose. "You?"

"A little."

We still hadn't gotten normal conversation skills figured out between us, but it actually felt like we were making a start.

"I, uh, hope you don't mind me being here and all," he said, sitting forward in my chair. "I just wanted to talk to you about Alice."

Of course, Alice's party was why he stopped by. As much as I knew that was why he was here, in my apartment at nine at night, my stomach still felt heavy. Let's face it; I was attracted to Edward. I'd felt it from seeing pictures of him before I'd ever met him, and though my mind knew he was an asshole, for some reason my body acted like a pathetic thirteen year old fan girl with a crush.

"Do you mind if I change first?" Maybe if I took some time to get comfortable and think about Alice's party without him staring at me for a few minutes, the prickling heat that was torching my skin would go away and my heart would slow down to a normal rhythm.

"No, sure, go ahead. I'll wait here."

Sitting on my bed moments later, I realized we had actually spoken to each other without either one of us raising our voices or rolling our eyes. Heck, I hadn't even imagined a single way to kill him yet. It was a milestone in our relationship.

"Bella?" he called down the hallway.

"Coming."

Dragging myself off my bed, I slowly walked back into the living room and sat back down on the sofa, curling my legs underneath me. "Would you like anything to drink?" I asked when I saw his empty beer bottle.

"No, I'm fine."

The awkward silence from before returned and I darted my eyes over to the TV, which was turned off, wishing it were on so that I could concentrate on something other than the gorgeous specimen of a man across from me.

"So, did you come up with any ideas?" he asked.

"Um" No, I hadn't. I'd spent my time at home either with my parents or outlining a new story I was contracted to write. "Not really. I mean, I thought about it a bit, but I'm just not sure what we

could do on Christmas day. I mean, are clubs even open that day?"

"You want to bring her to a club?" He didn't sound thrilled with the idea.

"No, I guess not, but I was trying to think of what she'd like to do. It's her birthday, after all."

"I was thinking of just having people over and doing what we did for Thanksgiving."

"For real? Do you even know your sister?"

"Of course I know Alice, and I know above all else, she'd love to have a surprise party."

"But she wouldn't want to sit around and eat cake all night she'd want to get out and do something, and to be honest, I just don't think there's anything to do on Christmas day." We stared at one another for a few seconds before he tore his eyes away. Well, there went my earlier thoughts from this evening. Edward and I had finally raised our voices at each other. We

couldn't even make it an entire day.

"What do you suggest then?" His lips were cast down into a pout, his eyes hooded, and he looked sexy as hell.

"I'm not sure. One thing Alice loves to do is get dressed up and go out, so I thought we'd do something where she could do that."

"How about you take some time tomorrow during the day to research places, maybe there's a party going on that night here in the city."

"Is this official work for Cullen and McCarty?"

"Yes, Bella, you'll get paid for it."

"Screw your money, Edward, that's not what I was asking. There's a ton of work Emmett has me doing and I can't very well blow his stuff off without him coming to me and wanting to know why."

"What the hell does he have you doing? Researching all his cases?"

"Some research," I said, thinking about why Edward would be upset about that. "He actually trusts me with doing the little things, unlike you."

"I never said I didn't trust you"

"Then why do you take everything on for yourself? Why don't you ever ask me to do the little things for you? Not once have you asked for my help on a case, yet Emmett has been wonderful with helping me get my feet wet. Without him, I'd just be some phone-answering clerkwait a minute, is that all I am to you? You never meant for me to actually help out with cases, did you?"

"You read too much into things."

"No, not this time, I'm right; you don't think I could do the job, do you?"

"I've never said that."

"You didn't have to; it's written all over your face."

He actually looked pissed and guilty at the same timehe was definitely busted. What had he said the day Emmett asked me to work for them? "How will she know she's found what we need if she doesn't understand the law to begin with?" How indeed? He really thought I wouldn't be able to comprehend the cases they worked on and apply the law to them. I wasn't an idiot for fuck's sake. "Get out."

"What?"

"Get the fuck out of my apartment."

As he stood, he shook his head down at me and I averted my eyes from him.

"You're crazy," he muttered, opening the door. He looked back at me then and our eyes caught.

"You know that right? You're fucking crazy."

Those words haunted me all night. Was I crazy? Did I read into things too much? My mother always told me I over-analyzed everything, and without trying to sound clich, she'd said I always made mountains out of mole hills.

"You're fucking crazy."

The memory of the words alone felt like a sucker punch to my gut. Was I fucking crazy?

Chapter Fourteen - Guideline 36

Guideline 36: I may not be a good, coordinated dancer, but I can hold my own, and I expect a man to do so as well. Dump all men who do the white man's overbite.

The week after Thanksgiving turned into hell after my confrontation with Edward. It wasn't that he was mean to me at work afterwards, but when we did speak I could tell something was wrong. His eyes didn't look right for some reason and he seemed rather solemn.

On Tuesday morning, the very next day after accusing him of not trusting me to help him out, Edward bombarded me with tons of work. I really couldn't complain, but it gave me less time to research things to do for Alice's surprise partyif we were even planning it anymore. I had no idea because he wasn't exactly speaking to me.

The annoying prank calls continued and I finally talked to Emmett about them. He didn't seem shocked about the calls and I wondered what he knew; what was going on. It dawned on me then that the calls started happening right before Thanksgiving when a lady called to speak with Edward. When I'd asked who was callingEdward had told me to always ask for his callsshe'd hung up.

Luckily, Emmett told me to let him handle the prank caller. The next time she called, all I had to do was tell herwhoever the empty void on the other end wasthat I was transferring the call to Edward. It would be a lie because I'd actually be transferring her to Emmett, but what did I care? Apparently someone whom Edward didn't want to speak with was trying to get in touch with him. Was she an ex-girlfriend? And if so, what had happened to make him not want to talk to her?

On the night of our Halloween party I'd overheard a little bit of Edward's phone conversation with someone, but it was the look on his face in reaction to who the caller was and the bitter tone he'd used that I remembered most. Something serious had happened in Boston and I was extremely curious as to what.

Later on the same day, after I'd spoken to Emmett about the prank caller, the person actually called. As soon as I answered and didn't receive a response on the other end, I told the caller I

was transferring them to Edward Cullen, and then selected the transfer button for Emmett's office. His door was closed so I didn't get to hear what had happened, but around ten minutes later, Emmett burst out of his office with an apologetic smile and then pushed his way into Edward's, closing the door behind him.

That had been two days ago and ever since then, Edward seemed even more off than he had after our little argument. If only he'd say something more to me than work-related stuff. For some reason, I was insanely curious about how he was doing; he looked like he hadn't gotten much sleep in the past few dayshis hair looked messier than normal, there were dark circles under his eyes, and if he didn't have plans to see a client, he didn't even shave. Okay, the last bit there made him look even sexier, so I wasn't exactly complaining.

"Cullen and McCarty," I said, answering the phone.

"Can I please speak with Edward Cullen?"

"May I ask who's calling?"

"Aro Volturi."

"One moment please," I said as I placed the man on hold. I then pushed the intercom button to Edward's office. "Aro Volturi on line one."

The sound that came back through the intercom didn't sound very reassuring. I thought I heard him swear and then mumble something before he told me, "Thanks."

Just as I was hanging up the receiver, the infamous man in brown walked into the office, this time with a package to deliver. "Wow, that's a first," I said with a little laugh.

"Maybe the asshole will cut me some slack today."

"Is that why you haven't been around the past few days?" Mike didn't usually come in every day, but almost every day. He hadn't been in since Monday this week, and I was sure it was because

of Edward. "I figured if I gave him time to stew"

"Nah," I said, shaking my head, "that doesn't work with him. He's miserable all the time."

My comment at least elicited a laugh from the cute blonde and I was glad to see him smile. "So," he said, "it was nice meeting your friend."

My smile grew when he brought her up. "We're all going to Midnight Sun tonight if you want to hang out." Though I had set guidelines on how to deal with men I dated, my friends didn't, so I could do thisJessica hadn't stopped talking about Mike since they'd met. Actually, she'd begged me to invite him out if I saw him again.

"Really?" His eyes narrowed, a hint of hesitation in his voice.

"No, not . . . what I mean is Jess would like to see you again."

"Ah, okay." He seemed relieved and his smile returned. "She'll definitely be there?"

"Yes, she texted me last night and said she'd be arriving right after dinner."

"Cool, I'll be there."

She was going to pee her pants when I texted her later to tell her Mike was going to join us. "See you then?" I darted my eyes over to Edward's door nervously, afraid he'd come out and yell at Mike to leave.

"Definitely. Bye Bella."

"Bye." It was going to be an interesting evening.

Every time Garrett and I got together it felt as if our relationship grew. I'd gone over my list of guidelines before our date this evening because I was afraid I was missing something. How in the world had I been able to find a man who met all my standards? In all honesty, I'd started to think such a man didn't exist. Yet, here he was, in the flesh, and on another date with me.

After our meal we headed over to Midnight Sun and I could tell that Garrett felt a bit uncomfortable. He'd told me earlier that the drinking scene was no longer a part of his lifehe hated going to bars and dance clubs. He was only going for me and I was grateful, but sad at the same time. Though I wasn't a big drinker and I didn't go out every nightor every weekend for that matterI still enjoyed going to Midnight Sun for a few drinks once in a while. If things got more serious between us, would that have to end?

Upon entering the bar, I immediately found my friends and was happy to see Mike already sitting with thempractically in Jessica's lap. "Hey," I said to Garrett, pulling him to a stop. "We don't have to stay long. Let's just have a couple of drinks and then we can go." Leaning down, Garrett pressed his lips gently against mine and I smiled, though inside I felt like doing the oppositeI still hadn't experienced a toe-curling kiss.

Our group was getting so big we had to pull two large tables together to fit everyone. The only person missing, as far as I could tell, was Edward's date, which finally lit a beacon in my head. Bree hadn't been to the office all week. Actually, the last time I'd seen her was at our little Thanksgiving dinner the weekend before Thanksgivingtwo weeks had passed. Had they broken up?

"Bella!" Alice stumbled into my arms and I wrapped mine around her, hugging her tight. "We thoughtchoo were gonnna staaand ussup." The sweet little pixie must've been having a fun night.

"I told you we'd be here," I said, steadying her on her feet before handing her off to Jasper and sitting down in one of the only open seats at the table. Emmett got up from the seat next to me and allowed Garrett to sit down and I uttered a small thanks to the big, burly man. "What've we missed besides Alice getting sloshed?"

The entire table, besides Edward, started talking at once about Edward and Bree, who had a

run-in with each other, which left Edward damp from a beer dumped on his shoes. Apparently Bree was pretty wasted herself since she meant to dump it over Edward's head. There was no holding back the laughter that bubbled up inside me as I listened to all the different renditions of how it all went down. When I lifted my eyes up and caught a hold of Edward's, I slowly let my laughter stop, trying to apologize to him with my eyes. Not only for laughing at his wet shoes, but also for being rude to him earlier in the week. My behavior had been extremely uncalled for.

Weeks ago we'd made a truce, and it was so wrong for me to keep holding a grudge against him. Staring at him now, I felt my heart thump labouredly against my chest. For some reason, I just knew I was part of the problem; part of Edward's sadness.

"Bella?"

I turned to look at Garrett and smiled. "Yeah?"

"Would you like to dance?"

Shit, I sucked at dancing. I mean, I could move a littlemy girls had tried to teach me numerous timesbut I wasn't good at all. "Um, sure, but I must warn you," I said, "I'm not very good."

"I'm sure you'll be fine." Garrett stood, holding his hand out to me.

Tentatively, I took his hand and stood, my eyes darting over to peek at Edward, whose eyes were glued to me. I smiled softly before turning my head back to look at Garrett when he laced his fingers with mine, and then followed him out to the dance floor.

It wasn't the most horrible experience of my life, but I was sure Garrett was ready to sit after I'd tripped over his feet a few times. Luckily, he took it all in stride and eventually we started moving together in a more fluid motion. After a few dances, I was exhausted and excused myself to the bathroom for a break, hoping he'd go back to the table and get to know my friends a bit better.

This time, I didn't stay in the bathroom any longer than I needed to, but it still took forever for me to use the restroom, wash my hands, and check my hair and makeup. Upon leaving the bathroom, I hovered outside the door and stared over at our table, seeing Garrett, Jasper, and Emmett talking and laughing together. I smiled.

"May I have this dance?"

Turning toward the voice, I caught Edward staring nervously at me, his hand outstretched. God, he was handsome. "Um, sure." Though I was already hot from dancing earlier and the crowded room, I still felt my skin heat up as I placed my hand in his.

The music was loud and pulsing, but Edward led me in a slower movement than the couples around us. Being in his arms, feeling his body move so close to mine, sent a shiver down my spine and I closed my eyes, wishing I didn't feel this way with him.

"I'm sorry," Edward said and I jerked my head up to study his face.

"For what?"

"I'm sorry for not trusting you . . . at work."

Shit, now I felt guilty. "I'm sorry too." I shrugged my shoulders with an apologetic smile. "For being a bitch at my house the other night."

His cute smirk eased up onto his face as he looked down at me. "You know, we're supposed to be in a truce." He looked adorable with the way his lips curled up on one side.

"Mmhmm." Nodding, I closed my eyes. Were we having a moment? God, I wasn't sure how to feel. For the first time, I let myself relax in his presence and I was immediately overwhelmed by the warmth of his scent. God, it reminded me of being out in the shack while writing that first summer.

"You okay?"

"Huh?" I looked up at him, embarrassed for leaning in and sniffing his neck. I quickly looked over his shoulder to see Garrett still talking with the guys. If he'd noticed me dancing with Edward, he wasn't preoccupied by it. "Yeah, I'm just tired." I was such a liar, but how do you tell your boss and a man you haven't gotten along withever that he smells amazing?

"Have you had time to think of what we can do for Alice's party?"

"Oh, yeah." There wasn't much time to thoroughly plan the past few days, but I had managed to look some things up. "Other than the Space Needle, I can't think of a good place to go to for dinner, and even then, it'll be extremely touristy, and probably wouldn't have any reservations left."

"Yeah, I thought of that too. Are there any other restaurants that would be worth going to that night?"

"No. I even thought of maybe taking her ice skating at that park"

"That's not a bad idea, are there any restaurants near it?"

"Yeah, but I want this to be something amazing."

"Okay, what else is there?"

"There's the zoo, they're open on Christmas day, but honestly, that's not what Alice would want to do."

"No, not for her party."

His arms tightened around me and I let him pull me in closer. We were still moving slower than everyone else, though still in rhythm with the pounding bass of the music. "I was thinking maybe we could throw our own birthday ball for her." Now that I'd said the words out loud, it didn't sound like such a great idea anymore.

"A birthday ball?"

"Forget it," I said, my hands burning from embarrassment or the feel of Edward's skin against mineone of those two things. Honestly, I wasn't sure anymore what my body was reacting to. Once his skin had touched mine, I came alive, my blood vibrating underneath as it pumped through my veins. What kind of voodoo was Edward doing to me?

"No, I think it's a great idea. My parents' house actually has a space large enough to bring in a deejay and have it catered. We could eat in the formal dining room and then dance all night."

"Do you really think she'd like it? I mean, we wouldn't be going out anywhere"

"Alice likes grand gestures, but it doesn't mean you have to rent out the restaurant at the top of the Space Needle or go crazy like that. Just having all her friends togetherdressed formally, or notto celebrate her birthday would make her happy."

"But how would we get your parents' house decorated and the deejay and food ready without her knowing?"

"We'll have to take her ice skating. She'll love it actually. I'll tell her it's my birthday present to her." Our bodies rubbed against each other as we continued to move to the music and the friction was doing a number on my heart and girlie parts. The horrible part about it all was that I didn't want him to let me go, nor did I want him to loosen his hold on me. It just felt right to be there, his strong arms around me, and his warm, outdoorsy, cabinesque scent filling my lungs.

"But if you're ice skating with her, who'll help me decorate and get things ready?"

"My parents will help and I'm sure you can get Rose to come early. Emmett said something about her parents living in the suburbs too."

"Yeah, about 45 minutes from your parents' house. Is Emmett going back to Boston for Christmas?"

"No, Rose invited him to stay with her family, which was why he went back for Thanksgiving instead. He could help out as well."

Edward leaned his head down and placed his lips next to my ear. When he spoke, I thought for sure my knees were going to buckle. "We could always get them to decorate and you can come with us to the ice rink."

"Yeah." The lone word escaped my mouth in an unsteady breath as I turned my head, his mouth inches from mine. If I leaned in just a little bit, our lips would be touching. Pulling myself away from the temptation, I looked back over Edward's shoulder, realizing the song had changed and we were still dancing. Garrett stood at the end of our table watching us, the frown on his face like a bulletin board, shouting to me he wasn't very happy. 'Um, I need to"

Edward turned his head and looked at Garrett before turning back to me. "Just finish this dance?"

"No, I" My body stopped moving and I backed away from Edward in the middle of the dance floor, random body parts from others slapping against me. "I'll see you later?"

"Yeah, we can talk more about the party."

"Okay."

It was hard to turn away from Edward, but I had to, and then I walked unsteadily back to Garrett, who now had a smile on his face. As soon as I returned to the table, I asked if he was ready and he nodded.

This time, when he brought me back to my apartment, I invited him in. We sat on the couch together, each with a cup of coffee and talked. That was one thing we could do for hours. Our conversations never seemed forced or strained, they always flowed naturally. We didn't only talk

though. Our kissing was starting to turn into a little more and though I wanted it and liked it, I still felt as if something were missing. It wasn't that I didn't like his kisses, they definitely excited me, but unfortunately, my mind kept wandering to someone else, and it angered me. It seemed I could never fully get Edward out of my head.

I spent my weekend getting to know Garrett better and then on Monday, I eagerly walked to the office, excited to see Edward, hoping we would be able to finally become friends. In that one moment, where he held me in his arms at Midnight Sun, there was nothing else in my mind but him; how great he looked, how nice he smelled, how sweet his voice soundedhe had taken over all my senses and monopolized my thoughts.

When I stepped into the office, I found a post-it note stuck to my computer screen, written out in Edward's elegant hand writingone guideline of mine he actually met. He was going to be in court all day and possibly most of the week. It really shouldn't have bothered me, but it did. I

wouldn't get to see him or talk to him, and, in a way, I was worried about the next time I did see him; worried we'd be back to being mean toward each other.

The week practically flew by and I only got to see Edward or Emmett a few times, but mostly Emmett. Edward was in court and Emmett was going through some meetings with one of his clients at another law office. It was actually nice to sit alone in our office and get some outline work done on my new novel. I couldn't tell Edward, but Emmett had given me permission to write if I had some down time.

I really should've been working on Alice's party, but it turned out to be harder than I had anticipated to plan. Finding a caterer wasn't easy for Christmas day, but I did find a place that would make the food beforehand and have it ready for us with cooking instructions, so that was better than nothing. As for a deejay, as Edward had suggested, I just wasn't sure. I thought maybe Alice would prefer live music, but as I looked into everything, I realized live musicians would

cost more. That wasn't necessarily true either. Every deejay I'd contacted was doubling their prices for Christmas day, which totally pissed me off. There had to be another way.

On Thursday I had a quick lunch with Garrett and though I would've liked for him to walk me back to my office, he was in a hurry to make it to one of his lectures, so I walked back alone in the freezing rain that'd been falling all morning. It hadn't been too bad when I went to lunch, but on the way back, I kept slipping and sliding on the sidewalk, wondering when the city was going to come around and throw salt out. Some buildings had done so on their own, which was nice, but there were many that hadn't, so I was lucky I didn't fall flat on my face.

When I rounded the corner to the office, I saw Edward opening the door, as if he were returning. Smiling, I lifted my hand and called out his name, waving. He looked up at me and smiled too, which warmed me all the way down to my frigid toes. One thing was for sure; Edward had the

most amazing smiles in the world. But then his smile disappeared as his mouth opened up into a horrifying 'O', his eyes practically bugging out of his head.

"Bella!" he screamed as he dropped his briefcase and started toward me.

That's when I heard the screeching of something sliding along the ground and then a couple of bangs and crashing noises, and I turned my head to see a car on its side, sliding right at me. Screams from many different people sounded in my ears and I moved my feet, trying to run away from the car that was still hunting me down, but the ice on the sidewalk kept me from getting anywhere and I started sliding, falling.

"Oh God, oh God, oh God." Everything was a blur as I saw two arms reach out to me, but they missed and I knew the moment the back of my head hit the ground because I tasted something salty and tangy in the back of my throat. Two hands grasped onto my arms and I felt my body slide over the icy, concrete walkway as someone pulled me back from more crashing noises and

then I felt what reminded me of rain falling, but it bit at my skin. When the downpour was over, I opened my eyes, trying to see who was hunched over me protectively, but blackness seeped over my sight, slowly cutting off my vision until the small circle in the middle was totally gone and so were the screams and noises.

"Bella? Bella? Can you hear me?"

It was cold and damp and there were tons of voices mumbling around me and every time I tried to open my eyes, a searing pain pounded in my forehead.

"Don't move Bella, okay? Help's on the way, just stay still, I've got you."

The smooth voice above my head reassured me, making me feel safe. I was starting to fell cold and I knew I was wetthe moisture was seeping in through my pants. I couldn't keep myself from shivering. Then I felt warm hands run up and down my arms as the person over me said, "Shh. Just stay still, Scarlett, the ambulance just arrived. They'll be with us soon."

Who the hell was Scarlett? My name was Bella, I knew that; Isabella Swan, AKA Isaiah Strong. I knew who I was.

A firm voice sounded near my head then, ordering someone to get back and then the warm arms that comforted me were gone and probing ones replaced them, touching me as an unknown voice asked questions, getting answers from . . . God, I think it was Edward.

"Edward?" I asked, trying again to open my eyes and when I did, the pain was even worse and I tried to lift my hands, but one of them was being held down, so only one made it to my forehead where I felt something warm and sticky. "Edward?"

"I'm here," he said, and relief hastened through me.

"Don't leave me, please don't leave me."

"I won't Bella, I'm here, okay? I won't leave you."

Knowing Edward was with me actually made me feel better, but the person who kept touching and poking me drove me crazy. Not only did he ask me numerous questions, which I wasn't sure I was answering out loud or in my head, but he pried my eyes openone-at-a-timeand shined a light in each one, which hurt like what I imagined a freight train ramming into my head would feel like and then he called over to someone else for some help. To me, it all seemed to happen so fast, but nothing stopped the pain. My neck had been put in a brace, though I couldn't figure out when they'd done it. At some point I was lifted. It was all so foggy, unclear, though I could tell I was on a stiff board, which eventually was lifted and placed onto a stretcher. I couldn't move my head and it hurt to open my eyes and every time I was able to relax, someone would poke me in the side or start talking to me, asking me questions about the accident, current events, and the president, whom, I was actually having a hard time remembering. Was it still Bush or was it Obama now? It didn't matter to me at the moment, I just wanted to go home and go to bed.

When the rolling started, I tried to sit up but learned I was strapped to the hard board beneath me and so I called out the name of the person I wantedneeded. "Edward?" I knew he was there, somewhere, I'd heard his voice earlier and I knew he was the one who had been comforting me before the paramedics arrived. "Edward?"

One of the paramedics spoke then, calling out for Edward as well and then I felt him. He was right beside me. He wasn't touching me, but my skin reacted in the way it tingled whenever he was aroundI knew he was close.

"I'm here Bella."

"I'm scared. Please don't leave me."

"I'm not leaving you, Sweetheart, I'm right here."

"The ambulance," I said, trying again to open my eyes. "I don't want to be alone."

Edward's voice was muffled then and I assumed he was talking with the paramedics. If they didn't let him ride with me, I was going to start screaming. Maybe not. My head was pounding without me opening my eyes now. Screaming would definitely make it worse.

"Oh God, it hurts."

"What's wrong, what hurts?" the paramedic asked.

"My head, it hurts."

"We're taking you to the hospital now, Bella; you're going to be okay."

"Edward"

"Your boyfriend's coming with us."

Huh? Boyfriend? "No," I whispered.

"No?"

"Edward, I want Edward."

"I'm here, Bella," Edward said. "I'll be in the ambulance with you."

His hand grabbed onto my right one and he squeezed it, letting me know he was there and I relaxed again, holding onto him for dear life.

Chapter Fifteen Guideline 63

Guideline 63: One minute he's sweet, the next he's Godzilla. It's the same feeling from when I was a kid riding bumper cars at the summer carnival; whiplash. Don't even consider a man who can't decide if he's hot or cold.

Everything was moving so fast. My mind was full of the voices of police officers, firefighters, and paramedics coupled with the wails and cries of others injured as well as comments from

onlookers, which echoed around the small circle the crash site had created. This wasn't actually happening, was it? Bella lay silent on a stretcher as a paramedic looked at a gash in her leg. Another one continued to ask her questions, trying to keep her awake.

"Bella?" he asked, lightly tapping the shoulder of her good arm. They had put her left arm in a splint, but I wasn't sure it was broken. I was concerned about her shoulder, not her arm, but thankfully it hadn't dislocated, which was my biggest fear when I saw the way her shoulder banged against the sidewalk after her head. Inchesshe had only been mere inches away from me when she hit the ground.

"Bella, I need you to answer a few questions," the paramedic said. The movement of her eyelids must've encouraged him. "Can you tell me what year it is?"

"Two thousand nine." Her lips barely moved when she spoke, her voice sounding forced out and dry, but I felt her hand squeeze around mine as she did.

"That's good. How about the president, Bella? Who's the President of the United States of America?"

"Bush? No," she said and I leaned my head down, trying to hear better, bumping it against the paramedic's.

"Sorry," I mumbled as I stood up straight.

"No?" the paramedic asked. "Who is it then?"

"Obama Bin Laden." I laughed. Okay, it wasn't really funny, but I didn't think it was a matter of her not remembering, just her making a horrible jokeshe did have an interesting sense of humor. Even though I'd fought hard to not see it over the past few months, I knew it was there.

The paramedic looked at me and I shrugged my shoulders. "She's joking," I told him, but he didn't look relieved.

"Can you tell me your name?"

"It's not Scarlett."

Shit. Had I called her Scarlett? "No, it's not," I said, "Scarlett's a nickname."

"I have a nickname?" This conversation wasn't getting us anywhere. If anything, we were making her condition look worse than it actually wasat least I hoped that was the case. "Tell us your real name," I said, shrugging my shoulders when the paramedic looked at me.

"Isabella Marie Swan."

He continued to ask her questions while the other paramedic finished up with her leg and then they started wheeling her toward the ambulance. I followed along with her, holding her hand while the one paramedic continued to talk to Bella about the accident, asking her more questions. She didn't remember much of what happened, which worried me.

Once we were settled in the ambulance, it took off slowly at first and I listened to the radio communication between the driver and his dispatch, catching information about where we were headedthe wrong hospital.

"Why aren't we going to Harborview?" I asked the paramedic next to me.

"She's stable and Swedish is closer."

"My dad's on staff at Harborview," I said, looking down at Bella. I'd feel better knowing he was looking over her. "Is there any way"

"What's his name?"

"Dr. Carlisle Cullen."

"The Chief of Surgery? Why didn't you say so before?"

The paramedic turned his head and yelled to the driver to change his route. He looked back at me and smiled, and then his eyes lowered and focused on my right arm. "Hey, you okay?" he asked.

"Huh?" Looking down to where he was staring, I noticed my jacket was sliced through. Lifting my left hand, I poked it into the hole and felt the warm stickiness of my blood. "Shit, I think it's just a cut."

"Let me look at it," he said, turning his body toward me.

The other paramedic sat closer to Bella's head as he talked to her. Her eyes never opened, but she answered him, so at the very least she was conscious.

"Is she going to be all right?" I asked the guy looking at my arm, my head nodding in Bella's direction. "I know I wasn't supposed to move her like I did, but the car was coming right at her and"

"You did the right thing," he said, never taking his eyes off my arm, which was fully exposed

now. The right sleeves of my white shirt and grey Armani suit jacket had been cut off so he could get a better look.

"I know not to move someone with a neck injury." I stared at the brace around Bella's neck, hoping I hadn't done more damage than good.

The paramedic turned his head to look at her and then went back to my arm. "If the ride wasn't so bumpy, I'd stitch you up right here," he said as he tightly wrapped some gauze around my wound.

"I didn't hurt her, did I?"

"From what I saw and heard at the site, you saved her life," he said, turning his body to face Bella now.

"I wasn't sure what to do . . . I"

"It's okay; she's going to be fine. The neck brace is just standard procedure," the man said,

grabbing my wrist and taking my pulse. He then turned to me again, shined his light in my eyes, and then asked me to follow his finger with my eyes. "One of the witnesses said she saw you dragging her away from the accident. From her account, your girlfriend would've been crushed by the yellow car if you hadn't pulled her out of the way."

"It was too fast. It still got a piece of her leg."

"It could've been worse. That gash will take about 20 stitches, I think, but it's better than what could've happened."

When the ambulance pulled up to Harborview, I let the paramedics pull Bella down from the cab first and I looked out to see my dad standing, his face pale. They must've told him I was coming in the ambulancegreat. His face switched from panic to concern when he looked down and saw Bella and he hurriedly went into doctor mode, calling out orders as he rushed back into the hospital at Bella's side. I stumbled out and tried to follow, but was pulled away by another doctor who was listening to

the paramedic who'd looked at my arm.

"I need to see Dr. Cullen," I said once inside the ER, looking over to where my dad was examining Bella.

"He's with a patient right now. Let me stitch you up"

"No, I can wait, I need to make sure Bella's okay. The girl I came in with?"

"She's in good hands, sir"

"I know she is. Dr. Cullen's my dad." The words didn't come out as gently as I'd have liked, but they got the point across. The doctor pressed the bloody gauze against my wound. "Keep pressure on this," he said before standing. "I'll let him know you're here."

I watched as the young doctor walked over to my dad and spoke with him, pointing in my direction. My dad's face turned toward me and his eyes lit up and softened. He held up one finger

to me, asking for a moment, and I nodded.

Pulling out my cell phone, I called Alice, knowing she'd be able to contact Bella's parents. It was probably the hospital's job to do that, but I thought they might rather hear from a friend. Alice was frantic, asking me all sorts of questions, but I didn't have any answers for her. Eventually she let me go, saying she was on her way to the hospital and that she'd call everyone. It was only moments later that my dad came over to me, a look of relief in his bright blue eyes.

"God, Edward, I'm so glad you're okay," he said as he sat on the stool next to the bed I was on. "What happened?"

"There was an accident and Bella was . . . I know I did the wrong thing" I wasn't sure what to say. If he knew I'd pulled her the way I had, he'd be so disappointed in me.

"Bella's going to be fine, I just . . . they radioed in and told me you had been in the accident and

I" He exhaled loudly. "I'm just glad you're okay." He smiled and then pulled the abandoned silver tray over to him.

"Where's Bella?" I asked.

"She's getting a CT scan, but you aren't supposed to know that," he said. "When her parents get here, I can tell them everything, but until then"

"I know the routine," I mumbled.

"She's been asking for you." He spoke quietly as he prepared my arm for stitches, rubbing the betadine over my wound and numbing the area with a local. "Can I see her?" From the look he gave me, I took it as a no. "How about when she's done? Her parents won't be here for a while," I said, "they live about four hours away."

"If she wants to see you when she's in her room, then that's fine, but right now, no."

"Room? Why does she need a room?"

My dad's eyes shot up to glare at me, reminding me he couldn't say anything to me about her injuries. "If she's still asking to see you when she's done with her tests, I'll make sure it happens."

"Thanks Dad."

It didn't seem like I'd been in the ER long, but when I was released and wandered out to the waiting room, Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, Jessica, and Angela were all there, looking at me with anticipation. They must've thought I'd been in the ER with Bella, but as they all focused on the red-stained fabric near the cut-off portion of my shirt where I had gauze wrapped around my arm, Half-pint jumped up to meet me.

"What happened? You were hurt too?"

"I guess," I said as she helped me over to our friends. Okay, only one person there was really my friend, but we were all here for the same reasonBella.

"What happened, Edward?" she asked again.

Half-pint looked so scared and I knew that nothing I had to say could reassure her, so I pulled her into my arms and held her. Was the comfort really for her, or was I the one who needed it? I didn't care. All I knew was I needed my arms around my sister.

"Edward?" Alice struggled to pull back from my vice-like hold around her. "Is everything okay?"

Letting go and turning, I faced Bella's friends and gulped. I wasn't exactly sure what to say.

"What happened?" Rose asked.

"Give him some time," Alice said and she motioned for Rose to back up a little so I could sit down.

"I was returning to the office," I said slowly, trying to remember everything that had happened. It

all seemed so surreal, like an out-of-body experience. "Bella must've been coming back from lunch, I don't know. She called my name and I looked up and waved, but then I saw a car going too fast and I knew . . . I just knew . . ."

"Edward?" Alice's hand rubbed up and down my trembling back. "It's okay, you don't have to"

"No, I, it's just . . . she had no idea it was happening, and I tried to get to her, but I couldn't." "Was she hit by the car? What? What happened?" Rose leaned forward in her seat, waiting for me to continue.

Jessica was in tears, her sobs echoing through my mind, her body rocking nervously and Angela sat stoically, her face extremely pale. Emmett stood with his arms folded across his chest, his eyes rimmed in red. I'd never seen him cry before.

"No, she finally realized what was happening and tried to run from the car" It had all happened so fast, yet in my mind I kept seeing the yellow metal slowly sliding toward Bella and the look of

fear on her face as she turned to run away. "She fell."

"That's it? She fell?"

"She hit her head and they're doing a CT scan, plus she'll need x-rays on her arm, though I don't think it's broken. Well, maybe, I don't know. It doesn't look as bad as my arm did when I broke it and mine was minor. She's also got a huge gash on her leg, though I'm afraid it might be more serious than her just needing stitches." The number twenty kept jumping through my mind, taunting me.

"Why?" Rose and Alicethe only two capable of speak at the momentasked in unison.

"Because she couldn't feel it. At least I don't think she could. The paramedic kept asking her questions about where she hurt and she never once mentioned her leg."

We all looked up as the doors to the ER opened and my dad walked out, his eyes finding us right

away. "Dad!" I said, hurrying over to him. "Is she okay?"

"She's still getting some tests done."

Alice wrapped her arms around him, holding him close to her as she cried and I stood back, watching, wanting to embrace them as well, but also wanting my dad to get on with why he'd come out to see us. Had something changed in Bella's status? Was she better? Worse?

"Edward," my dad said once Alice had let him go, "the police would like to speak with you."

It seemed like only minutes had passed as I spoke with the officers, telling them my account of what had happened. If they were looking for someone to blame the accident on, it was a red Nissan that was going too fast for the icy street. I saw it all happen; it raced down the road and tried to stop but lost control and skidded into the yellow car, which was driving in the opposite direction. The yellow car flipped up and landed on its side, sliding directly toward Bella, who

then fell. I wasn't sure what else happened after that, as I was focused on pulling Bella to safety, but something flew from the yellow car, or maybe it hit something, sending it flying.

Either way, something came at my head and I ducked in time for it to fly right through the window of the shop behind me, the glass shattering all around Bella and I like a sheet of rain; sending glass into our skin. I was lucky for some reason and didn't get many scrapes, the only major one on my arm, but Bella had a few minor scrapes along her arms, the worst being on her forehead, right at her hairline.

When I returned to the waiting room, the same gang was there, this time with food in their hands and Alice handed me a McDonald's bag. It was getting late and we had yet to be given any more news.

The six of us were silent as we waited, all in our own little bubbles of thought, until the outside doors opened and Jasper strolled in. Alice jumped up much like she did when she first saw me,

and flew into his arms, taking comfort from him.

It was after recounting the story for Jasper that he looked around and asked if anyone had called Garrett. It wasn't that we hadn't called him on purpose, but to be honest, it never crossed my mind. No one had his number and Bella's things were still in the Emergency room with her, so Rose got on her phone and started making calls to the UDub campus.

Jessica sat in silence with a wadded up tissue in one hand, tears still streaming down her face as she looked at her cell phoneshe was texting someone. Angela was on her phone, presumably with Ben, and Alice hung on every word and movement from Rose as she spoke on the phone, while Jasper and Emmett spoke quietly to each other.

When the ER doors opened, I turned my head and bolted out of my seat when my dad poked his head out and crooked his finger, asking for me to join him. No one noticed my retreat and when I made it to my dad, he pulled me into the ER and over to a curtain, which revealed Bella lying in

a bed, her eyes open.

"You can stay with her until they bring her up to her room."

"Thanks, Dad," I whispered, my eyes glued to Bella's.

We stayed still, staring at each other for a few seconds before I noticed a stool next to her bed and I sat on it, wheeling it closer to her side. "You okay?" I asked.

"I think so." Her right leg was propped up on a pillow, a huge bandage wrapped around her calf where the cut was located, another one wrapped around her head in the typical clich way from TV shows and movies, and her lower left arm was wrapped in an ace bandage. "Your dad said I have a concussion and I got a few stitches, but other than that, I'm fine."

"How about your arm?" I nodded toward the ace bandage.

"A sprain, I think. They said they want to take more x-rays in a week or so to see if some little

bone between my wrist and arm is broken or not. I forget what it's called."

"Is your headache gone?" She shrugged her shoulders then winced from the pain the action must've caused. "Not really, but it's better."

There always seemed to be a heavy fog hovering between Bella and I when we were in a room together and this time was no different, though it felt more prickly than normal, almost as if the air were charged with some sort of electrical friction. I desperately wanted to reach out and grab her hand and hold it as I had done at the accident, but I wasn't sure where we stood. Were we friends now?

"Thank you," she whispered, and I noticed a pool of tears form at the bottom of her eyes.

"Hey, it's okay Bella. You're going to be fine"

"Yeah, I know, I just . . . I want to thank you for"

"It's over now. Take the next couple weeks off . . . hell, don't come back until after the new year."

She laughed but stopped abruptly, her good hand rising to rub at her temple as she moaned. She then looked back at me and half-smiled. "The cops told me what you did. If it weren't for you"

"Don't, Bella. I'm just glad you're going to be okay."

She hummed then, her eyes closing, and I wasn't sure if she was supposed to keep them open or not. Did my dad call me in here to keep her awake? He didn't say, but I knew enough about concussions to know not to let someone go to sleep right after a head injury.

"Bella?" I reached out and grabbed her hand, hesitating slightly when my skin touched hers.

"Yeah?" She didn't open her eyes, but her fingers wrapped around mine, squeezing my hand

gently and the tantalizing trickle of heat I felt every time we touched traveled through my veins.

"Are you supposed to sleep?"

"I wish," she said, her eyes popping open. "Will you sit here with me?" She looked down at our joined hands and her cheeks flushed, reminding me of a pale strawberry. "I don't want to be alone."

"Sure, but why don't we talk about something? How about Alice's party? Have you had any time to look into that?"

Her lips twisted into a sarcastic smirk. "After all the work you dumped on me," she said, her eyes narrowing patronizingly, "how did you expect me to get anything else done?"

"Touch," I said with a laugh and she giggled, flinching shortly after from the pain it caused. "Maybe we shouldn't talk." "No, I'm fine, just don't make me laugh."

"Okay, then tell me about Alice's party, did you have any luck finding a caterer?" I really didn't care about the party at this moment, but I wanted to keep her talking; keep her awake.

"Not exactly. I found a place that would prepare the food, but we'd have to cook it ourselves."

"That's fine. How about music? Any DJ's willing to come out on Christmas night?"

"Well, yes, but we'd end up paying double the price. Bands were the same way; they wanted more money because it was Christmas."

"The nerve of them."

Bella laughed again then shook her head at me, her eyes finally finding their sparkle. "I'm glad we're becoming friends."

"Me too," I whispered. Friends wasn't what I had in mind, but it was still too soon to hope for

anything more. She would never see me as anything else until she could stuff her book of rules into a shredder. Until then, "friends" was what I'd have to settle for.

"Okay, Bella," my dad said as he slipped behind the curtain to join us, looking down at our joined hands briefly. "We're going to bring you up to your room now."

"Are my parents here?"

"Not yet, but I talked to them not too long ago; they're close."

"Thanks," Bella said.

"Son, I need you to go back to the waiting room. I'll come out and tell you what floor she's on after we get her settled."

"How long does she have to stay?" I asked, hoping he'd tell me since Bella was in the room with us.

My dad looked at Bella and she nodded her head and squeezed my hand, giving him permission. "Just overnight; we want to keep an eye on her concussion."

My eyes wandered back to Bella and I gave her a small smile. "I'll see you later then."

"Okay."

Before pulling my hand out of her grasp, I stood and leaned over, placing my lips against her forehead to give her a small kiss. The tingling burn that scorched my lips shocked me and I looked at my dad. "Does she have a fever?"

"No, not that I know of," he said, pulling out her chart to look through it. "No, no fever. I'll check it again once we get her to her room." He watched me then as I stood there staring at Bella, not wanting to leave, but with nothing else to say or do. Her cheeks were still pink, a little darker than earlier, actually.

"Edward, I'll take good care of her, now go tell your friends how she's doing."

My legs wobbled the entire walk back to the waiting room and when I pushed through the doors, another weight was hefted onto my shoulders, almost knocking me to the groundGarrett. Had I really been with Bella long enough for him to be contacted and make his way here?

"Edward!" Alice hustled over to me and grabbed my hands, pulling me to sit down with her friends. "How is she?"

"She's good," I said, my eyes stuck on Superman.

"Good? That's it? No concussion? No broken arm?"

"No" I turned my head back to Alice. "She has a concussion and they're keeping her over night for observation."

"Her arm? Is it broken?" Angela asked.

"No, well, they're going to do some more x-rays later, in about a week or so to make sure." I could feel Garrett's piercing gaze as I spoke, but I refused to look back at him. "She has some stitches in her forehead and a lot in her leg." I had forgotten to ask her or my dad about thosehow many had she ended up with?

"But she's going to be fine, right?" Jessica's eyes were still leaking.

"I think so. She seemed okay to me, laughing and joking."

"What did she say? Did she sound okay? Is she scared? Someone should be there with her!" Half-pint tended to go to the extreme when she was nervous and today was no different.

"She's fine, Alice. They're moving her to a room, but once she's there I think she can have visitors."

"Isabella Swan," a loud, hurried voice said and I looked up to see a tall man dressed in a police

uniform and a petite woman grasping onto him in front of the reception desk. "She's our daughter," the man said. "We were told she was here"

"One moment, Mr. Swan, I'll have her doctor come out and speak with you." Alice jumped out of her seat and raced over to the couple. "Charlie, Renee," she said, grabbing them both in a hug. Rosalie was right behind Alice, joining the three of them as they spoke for a few minutes and I noticed Garrett watching them with interest. He'd never met her parents and I was sure it was too soon for him to do so, according to her rules. Did he know about her rules? That would be odd. But why did he not jump up to meet with them?

My dad stepped out of the door to the ER and looked back at me before escorting Bella's parents away. Alice and Rosalie returned and we sat in our seats, waiting. Other than Jessica's whining chatters on the phone, to which I'd realized was our UPS guy, Mike, everyone was quiet. Angela left around seven at night because she wanted to see Ben and then get a good night's sleep before

work in the morning. Emmett massaged Rose's back in silence and Alice took a nap on Jasper's lap. Garrett and I sat across from each other, occasionally making eye contact, but never speaking.

My dad stopped by and tried to get us all to go home, but we didn't budge. Superman asked him to tell Bella that he was here and my dad politely smiled at him, shaking his hand. Bella's dad then came and stopped right in front of me.

"Edward?" he asked and my heart fucking leapt. Did Bella want to see me again? I couldn't wait to hold her hand in mine and kiss her forehead again.

"Yes sir?" I stood out of respectsomething my parents had taught me.

"Thank you, son. I was told she wouldn't be alive if it weren't for you."

"I"

"No, don't act all humble. Bella and the SPD say she owes her life to you." He looked down at his fidgeting feet before slowly wrapping his arms around me awkwardly. I patted his back, as men are ought to do in such a situation. He pulled back then and wiped the wetness from his cheeks. "Thank you."

"Anytime," I mumbled.

"Um" Charlie Swan turned to face the rest of Bella's friends. "She's asking to see some of you, but only two people are allowed at any given time and visiting hours are almost over."

"Me? Can I go see her?" Alice was like a bullet shot out of Jasper's lap, on her feet in front of Charlie faster than any of our eyes could focus on her.

"Alice." The sweet sound of Charlie's voice told me he was very fond of Half-pint. "She would love to see you." He looked around then. "She'd love to see all of you, really." His eyes stopped on mine for a moment. "Make sure you get a chance to see her." He looked back at Alice then.

"Just remember only two of you can be in her room at a time and you only have about 40 minutes left."

Chapter Sixteen Guideline 57

Guideline 57: If all a man can talk about is an ex-girlfriend or if an ex-girlfriend has left an emotional disaster in her wake, he isn't ready to move on. Don't waste your time at being a rebound girldump him.

I never got to see Bella in her hospital room. Alice and Garrett went up to visit her first and then Alice came back down alone, allowing Jessica to go up. Then Charlie and Renee came down and sat with the rest of us while we waited, which was quite the experience.

After thanking me profusely with an insanely tight hugthe kind that cuts off your airwayRenee sat down next to me and talked non-stop about Bella and her life growing up. If she'd have spoken about any other topic than Bella, I would've been bored, but Renee had me

eagerly waiting to hear every word she had to say. Charlie sat opposite her and constantly lifted his right hand, positioning his four fingers in a straight line together, the thumb underneath, as he lifted and dropped his fingers, making a talking hand. Apparently he had gotten accustomed to his wife's chattiness in the years they'd been married.

Whenever Renee turned to look at Charlie, he swiftly dropped his hand and smiled lovingly at her, his face a mask of innocence. Hence, Renee ended up with the nickname of The Hand. I saw so much of Bella in Renee, yet there was a lot about Charlie's quiet awkwardness that was so much a part of Bella as well, which happened to be a huge part of why I'd fallen for my Scarlett.

When Jessica came down from visiting with Bella, Rose went up with Emmett, the latter of whom was determined to make Garrett share Bella. His plan mustn't have worked though because Emmett came back down a few minutes later and shrugged before sitting back down obviously his size hadn't been nearly as intimidating as he'd thought it would be. It was a few

minutes later that the hospital announced the end of visiting hours and Renee put her hand on my knee and squeezed gently.

When I looked over at her, she smiled softly and then said, "She'll be released tomorrow. Maybe you could come by her place for dinner? That would give us hera chance to say thank you somewhere more private than a hospital room."

I nodded and then looked up to see Garrett and Rose walking toward us, Rose with a slant to her smilebitterness. Garrett had a smile on his face and he quickly bid farewell to everyone before leaving. The rest of us decided to meet at Rose and Bella's place and I offered to pick up pizza for everyone before I came over. None of us had eaten and I was famished.

Dinner was quiet except for Renee and Charlie constantly insisting they'd stay at a hotel. As suspected, Rose wouldn't have anything to do with itshe and Bella had a spare bedroom, so it wasn't as if Bella's parents would be putting them out, and she insisted that they continue to stay

with her and Bella once she'd been released.

The next day I was busy at work and wasn't able to go to the hospital or even talk to anyone about when Bella was going to be released. Thankfully, Emmett received a call after lunch from Rose telling him that Bella was home and inviting us both over for dinner.

To say I was nervous would've been an understatement. The last time I'd seen Bella, she was lying on a bed in the ER and holding my hand. That memory of her was so different than the many other memories I had in my mind. Annoyed, frustrated, pissed-off Bella had turned into sweet, innocent, vulnerable Bella; yet I wasn't sure which of her personalities I'd see at dinner, or even worsewhich one I wanted to see. Also, I wasn't sure how to act around her anymore; it was always easy to play the part of a prick, but now that we'd gone through this thing togetherI didn't know what to call itI wasn't sure where we stood anymore.

When I arrived at Rose and Bella's apartment, Emmett answered the door and flashed me his bright smile. He was the only person who knew I had feelings for Bella, yet he also knew I couldn't do anything about it. He muttered something about work as I stepped through the doorway and I ignored him as I searched the living room, finding my Scarlett. Her eyes were on me too and we stared for a moment before I smiled and she smiled back.

"Edward! Is that you?" The Hand squealed and I turned to smile at her.

"Hi Renee, thanks for inviting me over for dinner."

She held her hands out to me and I stepped into her embrace, trying to hold back a little so she couldn't get a strangle hold on me. "I'm so glad you were able to make it." She pulled back and then led me toward the couch.

Bella sat in the chair I usually commandeered with her legs propped up on a foot rest, snuggling

under a deep-red, fleece blanket. Garrett sat on the couch and I sat next to him, offering him a quiet hello. He smiled kindly at me and whispered "hello" back and then I turned to look at Bella again.

"How're you feeling?" I asked.

"Good," she said with a slight shrug of her shoulders. "My head hurts and my leg throbs, but other than that, I'm okay."

"How's your arm?"

"Less swollen. I think it's going to be fine."

A knock sounded at the door and Emmett appeared from the kitchen to answer, letting Alice and Jasper in. I had no idea they'd been invited, but was grateful to see my little Half-pint. Standing, I gave Alice a hug and shook Jasper's hand.

"I didn't know you were coming," I said.

"They couldn't keep me away," she said as she pushed past me and sat on the floor near Bella's outstretched legs. "I picked up a few things for you," she said to Bella, pulling out a book and a few magazines from a white, plastic, shopping bag. "No vampires, I promise."

Bella laughed, taking the items from Alice's hand. "Nice," she said, staring at the book. "I almost bought this for myself the other day."

"Thank God you didn't. I picked that up for you on Black Friday. It was supposed to be a Christmas gift, but figured you could use it now."

"Well thanks." She smiled at Alice then looked up at me.

Not sure what to do, I stuttered out the first thing that came to my mind. "I called a temp agency."

"You did?" Her head cocked to the side, the little piece of skin between her eyes puckering up.

"Yeah, I, um, just until you return."

"Oh, yeah." She frowned as her eyes left mine and landed on the book in her hands.

"What did my dad say about work?" I asked.

"Um"

"He told her to take all of next week off," Garrett said. He looked relaxed, sitting on Bella's couch as if he belonged there. Hell, he did belong there, more so than I did, anyway.

I looked back at Bella, catching her eyes. "If you need more time"

"I'll let you know," she said. "Right now your dad told me I can't drive or operate heavy machinery." She giggled a little then stopped, looking over Garrett's shoulder to where kitchen preparations were coming to a halt. "Actually, I think dinner's almost ready."

"I'll help you to the dining room," little Half-pint said, standing up and offering Bella her hand.

"I must warn you all," Bella said as she placed her hand in Alice's small one, "my mom isn't much of a cook."

"I'm sure dinner will be great," Garrett said, rising and taking Bella's other hand, helping Alice escort her into the dining room.

Emmett, Jasper, and Bella's dad, Charlie, were already sitting down at the table, talking about the Sea Hawks. When the rest of us joined them, Charlie jumped up and held out a chair for Bella.

"I'm fine, dad," she said, reluctantly sitting down. "You need to take care of yourself." Charlie frowned down at her before looking up at me. "Edward, it's good to see you again."

"You too, Charlie." We shook hands and then I sat across the table from Bella. Garrett sat on one

side of her and her dad on the other, making her look small and frail between them.

Renee and Rosalie brought out the food and placed it on the table. It smelled interesting, I guess you could say if you wanted to be polite about it; it wasn't necessarily an appealing smell, but it wasn't horrible either.

"What is it?" Emmett whispered near my ear, eyeing the brown mass in front of us. It looked like meat to me, but like Emmett, I couldn't figure out which kind.

"It's a roast," Rosalie said and I saw Bella stifle a giggle.

Charlie said grace before we all started piling food onto our plates. It was pretty quiet as everyone cut into their rough, battered meat and tasted Renee's cooking. When Bella had warned us I thought for sure she was exaggerating, but she was rightRenee couldn't cook. The roast was bland and dry, the potatoes flakymust've been from a boxand the green beans were swimming in butter and what looked like parmesan cheese. Actually, the parmesan cheese was

the only flavorful thing on the table besides my beer.

I think I went through an entire shaker of salt and pepper before I was able to plead fullness and help clear the table. It was just me, Renee, and Rose in the kitchen doing dishes while the others sat in the living room, waiting for dessert.

Rose started up a conversation about the Isaiah Strong books and we bantered back and forth about Henry and Eleanor again. I wasn't sure what had transpired over the course of the past couple of days with Rose, but she was treating me considerably better than she ever had before. Not only was she joking with me, but her eyes were softer, warmer, when she looked at me and her smile actually reached her eyes.

Renee kept quiet during our not-so-enlightening conversation, smiling at the two of us often and laughing when we argued over Eleanor's character. Eleanor always seemed like a bitch to me in the books. She was a tall, blonde, bimbo, really, though she was super tough and had the tongue

of a scorpion, verbally lashing out at everyone around her. I never understood how Henry could've wanted her for anything other than sex.

I told Rose she reminded me of Eleanor, which was when Renee started laughing and couldn't stop. She must've agreed with me and Rose knew it too, as she scowled at the two of usa bit defensivelyand grabbed a few plates of dessert before storming into the living room.

The rest of the night was spent watching a movie and I often thought of just leaving, but I wanted to talk to Bella, to see how she was, so I waited, hoping Garrett would get up to leave. Renee and Charlie were the first to retire as they kissed and hugged everyone goodnight before retreating to Bella and Rose's spare bedroom. Not long after, Garrett left after a horribly displayed farewell kiss with Bella. Once he was gone, Bella's body seemed to shift dramaticallyshe looked more relaxed but she was also frowning.

It seemed like forever before Emmett and Rose decided to leave. With Charlie and Renee staying

at the girls' apartment, Rose was staying upstairs in mine and Emmett's place. While Rose gathered her clothes for tomorrow, Emmett offered to bring Bella to her room, but she told him I'd help her, her eyes immediately shifting over to mine to make sure it was okay. I smiled at her with a nod, my heart racing at the possibility that Bella and I were becoming real friends. She trusted me. That revelation alone set my head into the clouds and my blood propelling vigorously through my veins.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" Bella asked once Emmett and Rose had left.

"Um, how about if we talk instead?"

"Talk." She said the word as if it sounded foreign to her ears.

"I'm just so glad to see you're okay. When you fell" I paused, not wanting to remember the fear.

"I won't be able to drive home for Christmas, I don't think." Her eyes were soft and warm as she spoke, her lids hooded when she looked up at me. "My dad insists I stay here instead."

"You'll have to come to our house for Christmas. I'll drive you"

"I can't. I mean, my parents are going to come here, we"

"You're all invited, Bella. My parents would love to have all of you."

"Thank you." Her face radiated to a beautiful shade of pink.

"That is, of course, unless you have other plans. I mean, if you're going to Garrett's"

"Oh no," she said and then stopped abruptly. "What I mean is that it's a bit too soon to meet his family." She blushed even deeper, and then giggled. "You know . . . my guidelines." Her voice slowed down to a whisper on that last word, her eyes darting down to the floor.

"I understand." It wasn't exactly that I understood, but that I was actually glad this one time her rules were working in my favor.

"You do?" Her head shot up, her eyes scrutinizing me. She must've seen what she was looking for because a smile spread on her lips. Then she yawned.

"I'm sorry. I should get you to your room."

It would've been easier if I'd just carried her, but I wasn't sure what she'd allow me to do, or how she'd want me to touch her. Instead, I wrapped an arm around her waist and she placed her right arm around my shoulders. She'd been given crutches, but she refused to use them for some reasonprobably didn't want to feel dependant on anything, but instead that meant she was depending on me.

I helped her to her bathroom and asked if she needed me to get her anything before I left. Her eyes filled with liquid as she shook her head, a frown on her face. "I can wait for you, if you'd

like?" I offered.

"Yeah," she said with a watery smile. "I'd like that."

There was nowhere else to sit in her room except for her bed, so I sat on the edge of it, looking around her room. There was a bookshelf covered in even more books than in the living room, most of them suspense or horror, not very many romance novels, as I'd have expected. There were also a few large, worn books; dictionary, thesaurus, grammar books. On the nightstand was an alarm clock, a lamp, a laptop, and her rules, or guidelines.

Picking the notebook up, I scanned over her rules. On the last page, I noticed a few, which I definitely didn't pass. Actually, the last few rules very easily could've been made based on me.

"Edward?" Bella asked from the bathroom.

"Yeah?"

"Can you help me?"

Placing the notebook back on her bedside table, I got up and opened her bathroom door. Bella looked so helpless and fragile as she leaned against the counter, her arm, which was holding her up, shaking a bit from the strain. "Here," I said, wrapping an arm around her waist. "Lean on me."

"Thank you," she said as I helped her onto her bed. She didn't lie back at first, just sat on the edge and looked at me. "Will you stay?"

"Stay?"

"Oh, um, not like that." Her face heated up to an alluring shade of pink. "I just . . . I don't want to be alone."

"Sit back." I adjusted her pillow so that it was propped up against her headboard, and then helped her lean back. "Comfortable?"

She smiled and nodded. "Can you tell me something?" she asked.

"Sure, whatever you want to know." "What's Boston like?'

Boston. For eight years, it was the place I had called home. "The people are nice, I guess. As nice as anyone from New England can be."

"Really? I heard they were rude, mean, and absolutely horrible drivers."

"Stereotypes." I chuckled a little, thinking of the time some guy followed me home with road rage. He had cut me off first, so I rode his ass for a while until I got the opportunity to pass him up and cut him offpayback. Well the joke was on me as he followed me all the way to the police station. There was no way I was going to go home with him on my tail. "There's a little bit of truth in all stereotypes, though, I guess."

"You really believe that?"

"Of course, they wouldn't be stereotypes if they didn't fit. Look at movies and books. Writers use stereotypes all the time because they work. They either use the stereotype to characterize someone, or they use it to throw the audience offget you thinking one thing about the character and then throw in a twist you didn't see coming because the twist doesn't support the stereotype they originally classified the character as."

"You're pretty observant."

"Nah, I just have a lot of time to watch movies and read. At least I did back in Boston."

"I thought lawyers were always busy?"

"I guess, to a point," I said, shrugging my shoulders. "After law school, if I wasn't working, I hung out with Emmett or . . . well, I was alone a lot."

"You missed your family."

"Yeah, Half-pint's my best friend, really. Life wasn't the same without her."

"Oh no! Did you just call Alice, Half-pint?" She giggled, shaking her head.

"Ah, don't tell her you know about that; she'd kill me."

"I won't." Her eyes fluttered down to the bedspread, her fingers tracing over the floral pattern.

"How did you meet Alice and the girls?" I asked. "Did you all go to the same school?" Alice and I were three years apart, but four years different in school. By the time she'd gone off to college, I'd completed my undergraduate here in Seattle and was on my way to Harvard.

"Oh, yeah," she said, her head popping back up to look at me. "I was Alice's roommate freshman year and Rose and Jessica shared a room on one side of us, with Angela in a single on the other side."

"Angela and Jessica don't seem as close to you, Rose, and Alice."

"Not really, I guess," she shrugged her shoulders. "Angela's a bit different. Her dad's a pastor at some church and so she tends to distance herself from us when we do something she doesn't agree with morally."

"Like?"

"Well, like Jessica's run of men. I'd say Angela is closest to me since we share . . . err, what I mean is . . . well, we have more in common with each other."

"Like what?"

Bella's face turned blazing red and she looked away from me, her eyes focusing on her notebook. "Um, we just share a lot of the same morals and stuff."

Ah, she was hiding something and as much as I wanted to know her little secret, I didn't want to piss her off or pressure her to tell me anything. Before, I probably would've been a dick like that,

but now, well, I didn't want to push her away anymore. "And Jessica?"

"Oh, Jessica's a bit flighty at times. Don't get me wrong, I love her to death, but she's the total opposite of Angela and I."

"No morals?"

She giggled. "I wouldn't put it like that, exactly. I don't think she means to be soeasy, but she has a low self esteem, I think." Her eyes strolled over to her notebook, a slight frown showing on her lips.

"Is that?" I motioned toward the notebook with my head, widening my eyes, to let her know I knew what it was. I wanted to pick it up and look through it. Would she talk about it with me?

"Um, yeah," she said, her lips straightening out into a hard line. She picked up the notebook and opened it, her eyes staring down at the first page. "I know you think"

"You don't know what I think, Bella," I said. "Remember, it was this notebook that saved your hide with James."

She smiled, scooting over to make room next to her on the bed. She then patted the open spot, inviting me to join her. The sound of a pounding heart echoed through my ears as I leaned back against her headboard, my arms and legs touching hers, and I couldn't tell if it was mine or Bella's. Maybe both our hearts were creating the racket.

"Some of these probably sound really stupid but" "How did you come up with them all?"

"By dating a lot of jerks," she said, laughing a little uneasy at some memory. She turned the page in the notebook to reveal the first page of the actual list. "I had broken up withwell let's just say I was single again and Alice told me I needed to get out there and date. She told me to never turn down a guy because I'd never know if I liked him or not until I got to know him."

I lifted my eyebrows at her, smirking because Alice's advice was totally opposite of what Bella had been doing the past however many years.

"Yeah, I know," she said, "but Rose also gave me advice. She told me not to settle and to be choosy, and so I took both Rose and Alice's advice and kind of combined them."

"By making a list of rules?"

"Well, it didn't start out that way. I promised I'd accept every date I was asked out onAlice's advicebut I also told the girls I wouldn't settleRose's. So after each date I started writing down what I liked and didn't like about the guys. After a month or so, I realized it was turning into a list and so went out and bought this notebook and started transcribing everything into it."

"And you add to it after every date?"

"Not so much any more, but yeah, that's how it started."

"Do you mind?" I asked, motioning toward the notebook, holding my hands out to take hold of it.

"Um, no, I guess not." Bella placed the notebook in my hands and bit at her lower lip, pulling it inside her mouth.

To be honest, some of her rules actually made sense, but then there were others that just seemed so stupid. "Tell me about Britney Spears."

"Oh God, what a disaster that was," she said, laughing and shaking her head. "I met some guy at the library and he asked me out. Back then I didn't have a lot of free time due towell I was very busy, so we met for coffee. I walked into the Starbucks and he was sitting at a table with ear buds in, singing some Britney Spears song in an extremely loud and horrible falsetto voice. I was so embarrassed, I almost walked out. He hadn't noticed me at first because his eyes were closedhe was totally engrossed in the song."

"But you stayed?"

"I wasn't fast enough. Just as I turned to run out the door, he opened his eyes and screamed my name out loud." Her body shuddered at the memory and I laughed. The strangest thing was that the story sounded familiar. Maybe I'd seen something similar in a movie or a book. "Okay, how about this one," I said, pointing to another crazy rule. "How many guys have you gone out with who get manicures?"

"Only one, but because of that guideline, I've turned down many."

"So, a guy can't have dirty fingernails or manicured nails?" It was my self-conscience that made me look down at my hands, making sure my fingernails were clean today. Normally they were, but you never know.

Her eyes followed mine and she started to laugh. "Your fingernails are fine. Dirty nails are just

too . . . well, they speak of something else, don't you think?"

I shrugged. "I guess."

"Well, having dirty fingernails on a date speaks volumes, I think. Especially on the first few dates since people try to impress each other. If a guy doesn't take the time to wash his hands before a date, that tells me either he isn't interested, or he doesn't keep good hygiene habits."

"Okay, how about the manicures though? You don't want a guy who doesn't have good hygiene, but a guy that does is out too?"

"Men with manicures cry over broken nails or chipped nail polish."

"Nail polish? You date men who paint their nails?"

"Only the once, and it was just a clear coat, but man, he was a wuss. I can't even remember what it was . . . oh, he went to the bathroom or something and when he came back he was pouting and

whining because when he opened the bathroom door, he jammed his finger and chipped his nail polish or something like that. It was pathetic."

We shared a laugh then both looked back at the notebook.

"Big feet?"

"I don't date clowns."

"That's it? That's the reason behind the rule?"

"Don't you think you should be attracted to the person you date?"

"Well, yeah"

"I'm not attracted to men with big feet."

I looked down at my sock-covered feet lying on her bed. I'd been told many times I had big feet. What was Bella's cut-off?

"They're on the larger side," Bella said, her eyes staring at my self-conscious toes, "but it isn't necessarily the actual size of a man's feet, but how they look on him. Everything needs to be well proportioned."

"Are"

"Your feet are actually fine," she said.

At first I was offended, but when I looked in her eyes and saw them sparkling at me, I noticed she was holding back a laugh. "So a short man with large feet"

"Or a tall man with small feet," she said. At least I hadn't offended her yet. Maybe she hit her head harder than I had originally thought.

"That's like the height rule, then? Not too tall, not too short?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"And how did that rule come to be?"

"Well, for obvious reasons, I guess you can figure out why I and most other womendon't like to date short men, but on the other side, I'm just not attracted to extremely tall men."

"What if you were?"

"What do you mean?"

"If you met a guy and you really liked his personality and he was good looking, but turned out to be an inch taller than your cut-off, what would you do?"

"I don't know; it's never happened."

"So you've never dated someone who breaks any of these?"

"Well, I have, but I end things as soon as"

"As soon as you realize they break a rule."

"How about you? Don't you have standards?"

"Of course, everyone has standards."

"Then what are yours?" "Smart, well educated, attractive, motivated, independent, you know; the normal things."

"That's all this list is, Edward. If you look at my guidelines, they all fit into one or more of your categories."

"How about your rule against guys who peel labels off beer bottles? Where does that fit?"

"I guess you didn't mention self esteem. That's one extra category I have; I can't date someone with a low self esteem. That's where the beer bottle labels come from."

"How do beer bottle labels and self esteem go together?" And what about your self esteem, considering all these rules you've built up around yourself? I wanted to ask.

"Well, I've found that men who peel their labels are normally insecure."

"How in the world did you come to that conclusion?"

"Experience. That guideline wasn't created until after I'd dated a few label peelers. They were all the same; insecure, shy, clingy, and the last thing I need is to date some guy who's eager for anyone to give him attention."

"Who hurt you?"

"What?" Bella's eyes hardened, a steel-grey color splashing through the deep brown, replacing the sparkle with cement.

"Someone obviously hurt you Bella, what happened?"

"Who or what he did isn't important," she said and I noticed shallow breaths coming from her lungs.

"I don't mean to pry, Bella, but it's obvious you're still hurting." When she didn't say anything, I continued. "These rules kept the assholes out, but they've also kept some great guys out as well, don't you think?"

"I, I don't know. I'd rather be safe than sorry." She looked back up at me then, her eyes watery. "Know what I mean?"

Actually I did, but I didn't want to tell her that. This conversation had already turned too emotional. I put my arm around her shoulders and pulled her into my side. She leaned her head onto my chest and I breathed in the sweet scent of her shampoo and something floral, which I thought might be lotion. It was so tempting to kiss her forehead or her hair, but I held back, afraid to cross a line I wasn't even sure existed. How did Bella interact with her guy friends? I knew she wasn't opposed to kissing Emmett on the cheek, or letting him kiss her, but was she like that with everyone, or did she have a special connection with him?

"I love my sister and Rose is growing on me," I said against the top of her head, "but they didn't give you the best advice."

She lifted her head to look at me, our noses practically touching. "What advice would you have given me?"

"Every time we open ourselves up to be loved, we put our hearts in danger of being hurt, but if we don't do itif we don't take the chancewe'll never find it."

She sniffed, burrowing her head into my chest. "Now you sound like one of Rose's love stories she reads."

"It may be clich, Bella, but it's true. If we don't take the risk, we won't ever reap the rewards."

"Who says I'm looking for love?" She sat up and threw the notebook on the floor. "What if all I want is a good time? I don't need a man to be happy."

"That's true," I said, scooting away from her a bit to give her some space. "You should find happiness within yourself before you try to find love anyway."

"Are you happy?" she asked, looking up at me through her long, wet eye lashes.

"I'm getting there."

"What happened in Boston?"

"What?" Her question sent a million pin pricks up my hands and down my arms.

"Why did you come back to Seattle?"

"I wanted to be close to my family." It wasn't exactly a lie, but there was no way I was going to tell her about Lauren.

"No, there's something more." She stared at me a moment then grimaced. "Come on, Edward, I

thought we were friends now." When that didn't work, she continued. "Tit for tat?" She was smiling nervously, looking a lot like someone she'd dump; insecure.

"Okay, I was sort of dating someone who turned psycho."

"Psycho?"

"Well, she started stalking me and stuff."

"Oh shit, she went all fatal attraction on you?"

I chuckled. "Yeah, I guess you could say that." "She boil your bunny?"

"No, thankfully I didn't have a rabbit but if I had, I wouldn't have put it past her."

Bella leaned back, allowing my arm to drape around her shoulders again, her head resting against my chest. "What'd she do?"

"The worst were the problems she caused at work." It wasn't a total lie; Lauren caused a lot of problems with me at work, but it was more about her being the daughter of one of my firm's partners than anything she did to sabotage me.

"What'd she do?"

"Let's just say that by the time I left Boston, I only had one friend left; one person who still believed in me."

"Emmett," she said a bit too reverent. She really did like him and for some reason that knowledge bothered me.

"Yeah, he's my best friend."

"You're lucky to have him, he's a great guy."

"Mmhmm."

"He's lucky to have you too."

"Really? I thought you hated me."

"I never hated you," she said, nudging me with her elbow. "You hated me, if I recall correctly. That first nigh at Midnight Sun . . . ugh, I don't want to think about it."

I knew what she was talking about and she was right. "I wasn't being fair to you," I said, frowning down to her. "I think between everything with Lauren and then meeting someone like you, who I sort of categorized as being like her"

"Is Lauren the psycho chic?"

"Yeah." I closed my eyes and leaned back against her headboard.

"And you thought I was like her?"

"Not exactly," I mumbled.

"Hey, are you sleeping?" She nudged me in my side again. "Not now." We both laughed as I sat up straighter and reached my arms above my head. "I should get going, it's pretty late and I have things to do in the morning."

"Is the new girl starting on Monday?"

"Bright and early."

"So I'm like the psycho?"

"What? You're still on that?" I sat on the side of the bed, looking down at her slight form huddled underneath the covers. She shrugged her shoulders. "Yeah, you're quite the psycho, Swan."

"Ugh, am not!"

I laughed. "No, you're not, but you're starting to act like one with all these questions. You never let me finish what I was going to say earlier. I thought you were like her at first, only in a

different way. I thought you were a clingy, stalkerish type who used your rules to explain away why you"

"I know. I heard you that night." She put her face down and I reached out, lifting her chin with my fingers.

"I was wrong, Bella, and I'm sorry." The corners of her mouth quirked up, and I could tell she was fighting a smile. "Forgive me?" I asked.

Her full smile shone on her face and my palms started itching as sweat broke out on them, heat radiating through my body. Like the first time I saw her full smile, my body practically melted. "Only if you forgive me too. I haven't been very nice to you either."

"Deal. Now, you know we're going to have to be mean to each other still."

"What?"

"To keep Alice in the dark. We don't want her getting suspicious"

"For real?" Her mouth dropped open.

I laughed. "I'm just kidding."

Her eyes squinted, a sly smile spreading across her lovely face. "Okay, I hate to kick you out"

"See, you're doing it already. I was only kidding, Bella, really "

"You sure do like to hear yourself talk," Bella said and I grinned at her, trying hard not to reply. When she saw I wasn't going to give in and say something, she continued. "Will I see you again soon?"

"Well, we do have to finish planning Alice's party. How about we get together on Sunday?"

"Um, Garrett's coming over on Sunday, but maybe tomorrow?"

"I have plans with my parents," I said, thinking. "How about next Sunday then?"

"Well, sure, but shouldn't we talk before then? I mean, this Sunday's the 13th, the next one's the 20ththat'll only give us 5 days to finish everything. How about you come over for dinner some night?"

"Or you could come up to my placeI'll cook."

"Um, I thought maybe we could do it down here so that Emmett and Rose won't be around. With my mom's horrible cooking, you know they'll be at your place the rest of the time my mom's here."

"How long is she staying?"

"All next week, I believe. My dad's going back to Forks on Sunday, but your dad forbade me to drive so Renee feels it's her duty to stay and keep me fed and play chauffer."

"How about I bring dinner over onwhat? Monday?"

"That'd be nice."

"Okay, now lie down and get some sleep." I leaned over and tucked her covers up to her chin. Her eyes closed a little and her throat seemed to jerk out as her lips parted and I almost took her lips with minealmostbut I knew I couldn't do it. If I acted that way, it'd erase every bit of progress we'd made as friends and I wasn't willing to do that.

"Goodnight, Scarlett," I said with a smirk and then I leaned down, taking the moment of her surprise to my advantage, and kissed her forehead.

"Scarlett?" she asked as I pulled back.

"I'll explain it to you later. For now, just close your eyes and go to sleep."

Leaving her alone in her room was a slow process, but I finally arrived at her bedroom door and

turned out the light. She whispered "goodbye" one last time and I practically tiptoed down the hall, hoping to not wake up her parents.

Once alone in my room, I tried to remember the smell of her hair and the lotion she used on her skin. It was a peculiar smell, some type of flower most likely, but not something normal or ordinary. In the morning I planned to call my old high school buddy, Paul, and get some tickets to the Sea Hawks game on the 20th. Bella and I had made a lot of progress in becoming friends, but I was determined to show her that her rules were meant to be broken.

No, we weren't going on a date and I knew she didn't see it as one either, but taking her to a sporting event was sure to rile her up. It wasn't the only rule I planned on breaking either. If everything went as planned, Miss Scarlett wasn't going to know what hit her.

Chapter Seventeen Guideline 39

Guideline 39: The worst thing you could possibly do is date a friend. If this isn't a Cardinal Rule of Dating, it should benever date a friend; it ruins the friendship.

"You didn't need to buy all this," Renee said to Garrett as he pulled various containers out of a brown paper bag, placing them on the dining room table.

"It was my pleasure," he said to my mom, practically bowing when he looked over at her.

He was perfect, right? Everything he said, the way he looked at me, the respect he'd shown me, it was all good, wonderful really. So why wasn't I excited to see him tonight? Why did his polite manners seem annoying all of a sudden?

"Bella?" Garrett asked. "Did you take your medicine, honey?"

"I've got it right here." Holding up my fist, I opened it to reveal my pain medication, which

needed to be taken with food. The best thing was that Garrett remembered them. See, he was perfect. So what if he was too polite at times? We always had great conversations and he treated me, and the people who were important to me, respectfully. There wasn't a dark spot on the guy.

My father had returned to Forks right after lunch today and Rose was with Emmett, so it was me, my mom, and Garrett sitting down for dinner together. We talked about my job at the law firm and Garrett's job teaching American history at UDub, and then Renee talked about everything new with her and my dad. She'd been a stay-at-home mom and then a housewife for so long but was now deciding to venture out into the outside world.

Actually, from what I could gather, she just needed people to talk to. Since she wasn't looking for any additional income, she was planning to volunteer at the hospital in Forkssort of like a candy striperinstead of going out and finding a for-pay job. She was excited to start, but wouldn't have her first day until after the new year.

After dinner, my mom excused herself to her room, giving Garrett and I some privacywhich wasn't needed. It wasn't like we were going to be groping each other during the movie we planned to watch. We'd cuddle, but that was about it; that's about all we'd done so far besides kissing. I was too nervous to make the first move and apparently, so was he. The movie was in the Blu-Ray player and we were cuddled up on the couch under a blanket, the lights out, when Garrett grabbed my hand as I was about to push the "play" button on the remote.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, what's up?"

"Is Edward someone I need to worry about?"

"What?" Placing the remote on the table, I shifted so I was looking right at Garrett.

"The two of you seemed rather close the other night, he"

"Um, where are you going with this?"

"I don't trust him," he said, pushing an escaped lock of hair behind my ear.

"He wouldn't do anything to me, he's a friend."

His brow furrowed. "I always thought you hated him."

"Then why would you be worried about him and me? He's my boss, that's it."

"Something's changed though. You used to try and kill him with your eyes. Nownow there's a different look you give him."

"It's called disinterest," I said, annoyed with the conversation. One thing I didn't like was insecure men; I understood there would always be some level of jealousy within relationships, but this was a bit much. How could he be jealous of Edward? He was acting just like Edward's ex, Bree. She was a bit psychotic with her delusions of me and Edward too.

"I'm sorry if I've upset you, it just seems . . . well, regardless of your feelings for Edward, it's obvious he has feelings for you."

"He doesn't feel anything more than friendship for me, Garrett, we work together and we're friends. Hell, we're new friends, at that."

He didn't reply to what I'd said, but stared at me instead. If this were a first date, or even second or third, I'd dump him, but we'd been together for quite some time, we'd started building a relationship and my heart was already invested in him. I could only hope his jealousy was misguided and after this talk, he'd come to his senses.

"Listen," I said, deciding if he knew everything, he'd understand why Edward and I were now talking and actually getting along. "Alice's birthday is coming up and Edward asked for my help in planning the party. That's it. We want to surprise her, so we're keeping it a secret from everyone until the last minute, but that's all we talk about." Okay, that was a lie. Two days ago

Edward was in my room and we talked about a lot more than just Alice's party. Hell, most of what we talked about was personal, things I hadn't yet shared with Garrett.

I wasn't sure why I felt so comfortable around Edward that night; why I'd actually opened up and showed him my guidelines. Thing was, it was work to keep my bitchy side in place when he was around. All Edward had to do was settle his evergreen eyes on me and I was his to control. The reality of what he could do with one smoldering look irritated me to hell, which is why my inner bitch had to be released around him. He was too dangerous.

"So I have nothing to worry about?"

"Nothing," I said, shaking my head slowly and letting a small smile slip onto my face.

Leaning in, Garrett placed his soft, full lips against mine and kissed me. As he pulled back, I smiled brighter, happy he wasn't going to turn into some psychotic, bunny killing nut like Edward's ex from Boston.

We settled in, me cuddling into Garrett's side with his arm around me, pulling me in close, and watched the movie. Being with Garrett was always comfortable and easy. He was like a well-worn pair of shoes that fit perfectly, never bothering my feet.

Unfortunately though, I was unable to concentrate on the movie. Garrett had a point about my friendship with Edward and if he thought something was going on, I must've been doing something wrong to make him think that way. Who was I fooling? I knew I had done something wrong. Edward should never have been in my bedroom the other night, let alone on my bed with his arm around my shoulders. That wasn't the kind of thing a woman in a relationship did, and I was in a relationship now. That was it; I had to keep my distance from Edward. We could only talk about Alice's party, and that was it. Anything more wasn't fair to Garrett; what had happened the other night wasn't fair to Garrett.

Leaning my head up, I placed a kiss on Garrett's chin, my left hand rubbing along his chest. He looked down, his brown eyes practically glowing from the light of the TV, and smiled as he leaned in to kiss my lips. It wasn't extremely passionatemy toes were nowhere near curlingbut it felt good, so I opened my mouth, inviting him in.

After a few minutes of making out, Garrett's hands never wandering anywhere but along my arms, so I grabbed one of his hands and placed it over my shirt-covered breast. He froze then pulled back to look down at me.

"We shouldn't move too fast," he said, taking his hand away from my chest.

Too fast? Wasn't I supposed to be the one pulling away, asking to slow down? "It's just a boob, Garrett, it's not like I put your hand down my pants."

"Bella, I justI want toyou mean too much to me." He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "There's something I should

tell you," he said, angling himself so he was more comfortable. "I'm a virgin."

What? I mean, there was nothing wrong with him still being a virgin, but in today's day and age, it was still shocking. Hypocrite, I know, but still, it was just strange. Was he a virgin by choice or lack of options? Looking at him, I couldn't imagine him going through life without any opportunities. Maybe he was like me? Maybe he was waiting to be in love first. Grabbing the remote, I paused the TV, the only light emanating from the frozen scene on the screen.

"Okay," I said, unsure of how to respond.

"I know it seems tacky or geeky for a guy my age to stillit's justI'm waiting until I meet the right girl."

"And that's not me?" For some reason, asking this question created a heaviness in my heart.

"No, that's not it at all." He traced his fingers down my cheek. "I really believe you could be the one, Bella, I just don't want to rush things and take that step until we're both sure."

Placing my hand on top of his, which rested on my cheek, I smiled. "I like you a lot, but I'm not ready to have sex either." I looked down real quick before finding his eyes again. "Actually, I'm a virgin too."

"Waiting for love?" he whispered.

"Yes, and I really hope it's with you too."

Garrett leaned in then, kissing me tenderly. I still hadn't had any monstrous revelations or felt my toes curl, but it felt good. Unfortunately, my mind started wandering to Edward, imagining what his lips would feel like against mine. When Garrett pulled back, he grabbed the remote from my hand and pulled me close to his side, pressing play on the remote so the movie would start again.

Screw the movie, I thought, I wanted to make out with my boyfriend. Unfortunately, it's not what he had in mind.

It was great having a few days at home, not having to go into work. The latest book in my vampire series was with my editorfinal edits complete, as was the short story I'd written for a compilation of vampire stories by various authors. I was the least-experienced author who would be in the book and was extremely nervous I wouldn't measure up. While waiting to hear back from my editor, I continued to plot out my new story, the first book in a new series. No vampires this time, but there would still be plenty of action and gore as well as sex. For some reason, those three things seemed to go together well in my head.

Garrett had stayed pretty late last night, right up until the movie ended. He'd been the perfect gentleman and after the movie, while lying together in each other's arms, I thought about his revelation of being a virgin. It definitely took the pressure off me and reduced some of the awkwardness I felt. Here I was,

feeling like I was the inexperienced one between us because I'd never had sex-sex before, but now I had the feeling I was the one with more experience.

Back in college, I'd let Marcus go down on me and put his fingers inside me, but we'd never gone all the way. Ang was the only other girl in our little group who was still a virgin. Hell, I was more experienced than her and yet she'd been closer emotionallyto more men than me. I was waiting to be in love first, and not just a one-sided loveI wanted to be loved in return.

Sometimes I thought of myself as too easy, like a whore, or a slut. How could I have fallen for Marcus' lies so easily like that? He'd told me he loved me and that he wanted to marry me after graduation. Granted, we were both sophomores in college at the time, but I believed him. I trusted him and thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with him. To think I could be so easily duped frightened me. How was I supposed to know if a man was genuine or not? How was

I supposed to decipher the words, "I love you," from now on? Anyone could say them at any time, to anybody. Just because a man said them, it didn't mean he meant them. I'd learned that the hard way.

This time, I was going to find love the right way. Now that I'd found the perfect manGarrettall I had to do was show him love and I just knew my feelings would grow for him, and his for me. He wanted to make sure we took things slow, and I had no problem with thatmy heart grew for him because of it.

"Bella?" My mom knocked softly on my door before it creaked open a little and she poked her head in. "I'm sorry to interrupt, honey, but I thought you should know that Garrett's here."

"All ready?" I looked down at my alarm clock and saw it was almost 5:00 pm. Had I really been working that long? "Shit, I've got to get dressed."

"Watch your mouth." Renee walked over to my bed and waited for me to put my laptop down

before helping me off my bed. "Is Edward still coming over?"

"Yeah, I guess." I pulled my sweats down, being careful to not disturb my stitched-up leg.

"Does he know Garrett's going to be here?" She looked down her nose at me, her eyes widening and looking all stern. She was so intimidating at times and I shrunk in her presence, becoming that seven-year-old girl again who'd gotten caught cutting her own hair, scissors in hand, and hair lying on the floor.

"Not exactly."

"Yes or no, Bella, it's not a hard question to answer." Her hands were on her hips now, her eyebrows turning in at 45 degree angles.

"No?"

"He's bringing dinner over and you didn't even tell him Garrett would be here?"

Pulling the loosest pair of jeans I owned up and over my legs, I tried to shrug. "I couldn't help it, mom. Garrett was all jealous and shiterr, stuffto begin with and when I told him Edward was coming over, he started going ballistic." That wasn't a lie. Right before Garrett left last night, he asked if I wanted him to bring dinner over again for tonight and I told him about Edward already planning on bringing dinner over. Big mistake after the conversation we'd just had about my hot, sexy boss, so I thought inviting Garrett would be the best solution.

"What if Edward doesn't have enough food for him? You should've called him this morning."

"I know." She was right, but I was afraid to call him. I was afraid right nowpulling my pajama shirt off, over my headof facing him when he came down to my apartment in a little under half an hour. "Should I call him now?"

"Bella," Renee said, shaking her head in obvious disappointment, "you do what you feel is right.

These are your friends." She walked out then, leaving me alone to finish getting dressed.

It wasn't exactly easy, but I managed to get my shirt on alone. My leg hurt like the dickenshell, if I wasn't censoring for Reneeand my crutches, though hard to use, were a necessity. As I bumped along the walls and into the living room, Garrett immediately stood and helped me to my chair. He looked good tonight, just coming from campus, his clothes a little wrinkledjust like Edward after a long day in the office.

"Thanks," I mumbled as I sat down. My stomach was doing flips, my heart threatening to break through the cage surrounding it. Edward would be here soon and he had no idea that Garrett was joining us. Why was that a problem? Why was Garrett's presence an issue? Edward and I were just friendsthat was it. This wasn't a date or anything.

"You okay?" Garrett asked, looking down at me with worry lines around his eyes. "You look a little pale."

"Um, yeah, it's just . . . my head hurts." It wasn't a lie, it did hurt, but it wasn't why the contents of my stomach felt as if it was going to escape.

"I'll get you your medicine." Garrett disappeared into the kitchen and I let out a huge breath, finally able to somewhat relax.

A knock sounded at the door. "Come in," I yelled, hoping the door was unlocked.

Sitting in my chair, I watched the doorknob slowly turn before the door started to creak open. It stopped and I waited, unsure of what I was going to say to Edward, but hoping I'd have a few minutes alone with him to explain. The door opened wider finallyand Edward walked in with a crock pot in his hands, a goofy smile on his face. The feeling of someone squeezing my heart, the blood seeping out, engulfed my chest and I choked a breath of air into my lungs.

"Hey," he said, "let me just put this in the kitchen" "Wait!" It's all I could get out. I didn't want him in the kitchen yet. I needed to tell him about

Garrett first, yet I wasn't exactly sure why I felt like I had to. Was it because of the food, or was it because I felt guilty for ruining our night?

Edward stopped in his trek to the kitchen. "Is everything okay?"

He looked amazing, still dressed up as if he'd just gotten home from work. He wore his usual grey slacks but with a light green shirt today. His tie had been taken off, his shirt unbuttoned at the top and wrinkled, as normal. I smiled.

"Yeah, well, I think so."

He cocked his head to the side, his eyes narrowing on me. "You think so?" Was that fear I saw in his eyes?

"Well, I just wanted to tell you that Garrett is herehe stopped by and . . . well, I"

"Edward," Garrett said with his not-so-perfect timing, "It's good to see you." If I hadn't have

known better, I would've believed his lie.

"Garrett." Edward's eyes shot to him and then back to me, a splash of grey washing out the brilliant green.

"Do you need a hand?" Garrett asked.

"Sure, there's a bag in the hallway, if you don't mind."

"Not at all." Garrett disappeared into the hallway and Edward turned back toward the kitchen.

With my injured leg, it hurt to move around, especially fast, but I shot up, out of my chair as best I could, hobbling without my crutches after Edward. "Edward," I said, wanting to explain. The look in his eyes when he'd seen Garrett walk into the living room had killed me, as if the same hands that had squeezed my heart in joy earlier were now twisting it in opposite directions, causing excruciating pain. "Edward, I can explain."

He turned back to me then, the crock pot still held in his hands, his eyes a steel-green. "There's nothing to explain, Bella. I'd have appreciated you letting me know he was joining us so that I could've brought more food, but, luckily, I made enough for you to have leftovers, so we should be good." Turning back toward the kitchen, he walked away and I couldn't help but feel as though I'd hurt him.

"You shouldn't be up," Garrett said from behind me and I gave him a small smile before wobbling back to my chair as he disappeared into the kitchen with Renee and Edward.

Shortly after, my mom came out and sat on the couch, a knowing look on her face. "You should've called him."

"I know." Grabbing the remote, I turned on the TV, not wanting to hear her say, "I told you so."

"Listen," she started, but I cut her off.

"I'm not in the mood for a lecture, mom, please?"

"I just want to get this off my chest and then I'll shut up." Her eyes were hard and setshe wasn't backing down.

"Fine." I turned off the TV then slouched down into my chair, not wanting to hear what a horrible person I was. I knew I wasn't the easiest person to get along with. With my dad's quiet, push-others-away defense and stubbornness, and my mom's flightiness, I sometimes came off as aloof or rude, and I knew that. The problem was that I wasn't sure how to change it.

She smiled warmly. "You have two very nice young men in there, and your dad and I like them both a lot." She sat forward in her seat, inching closer to me. "Bella, you need to follow your heart. Just because one may look better on paper than the other, it doesn't mean he's the better choice."

"Mom!" Closing my eyes, I shook my head slowly, which sent painful shrills through my head,

reminding me of my medicine, which Garrett was supposed to have gotten for me but hadn't. Opening my eyes, I leveled them on my mom. "Edward and I are colleagues and friends, that's it. There's no choice to make."

"You're wrong, Sweetheart. You need to open your eyes and your heart and let things happen."

"I can't"

"I'm not ignorant, Bella. I know about your rules."

"What?"

"You don't think your friends and I talk?"

"What? Who told you?"

"No one said anything directly, but I gathered enough information the past few years and, well, the other day when I checked in on you, I saw your notebook."

"You read through my personal stuff?" I was mortified. If she knew about the guidelines, did she know about Marcus? What I'd allowed him to do to me? What I'd done to him? I was ashamed; my face heated up to what I was sure was a hideously deep red.

"No, I didn't read it, but I'd like to, if you'd let me." "It's nothing, mom, just a bunch of silly irritations."

"Okay, I'll drop it for now. Just remember what I said: follow your heart."

"I am." The smile I gave her was strained, but I didn't think she noticed.

"Then I'm sure you'll be happy." She smiled and came over to kiss me on the forehead before going back into the kitchen with Garrett and Edward.

The dinner Edward made was absolutely delicious. The thick and chunky beef stew with rolls

and butter along with garlic and parmesan green beans was fantastic. I must admit, I actually moaned numerous times, catching glances from Edward and Garrett, as well as my mom. Conversation was pretty sparse and short, no one really wanting to talk about much. I felt horrible. Edward and I were supposed to talk about Alice's party and I was sure we would've talked about other things too, but with Garrett sitting next to me, it just wasn't happening.

Edward mentioned the temp, who was filling in for me at the firm, and a heavy shadow settled over me. He'd never smiled like that when talking about work with me before. Actually, he rarely smiled at work. Him smiling now didn't mean he was actually finding work more fun now, though, right? I mean, maybe he was just happy to have gotten someone so fast? Then again, maybe not. Maybe he was glad to be rid of me after all.

After dinner, Garrett helped me back into the living room and I insisted on sitting in my chair. It wasn't that I didn't want to sit with Garrett, but I felt more comfortable, as if . . . well, not that

Edward cared one way or the other, but I didn't want to rub Garrett in his face. Once seated, I relaxed and turned on the TV. Only, I couldn't relax because all I heard was Edward and my mom. It sounded as if they were having fun in the kitchen as they did the dishesI wondered what they were talking aboutwhile Garrett and I watched an interesting showthough not interesting enough to hold my entire attentionon the DIY channel about a guy who took over people's yards and gave them a makeover.

Finally, Edward and Renee came into the living room, both with two Ice Cream Sundaes, one in each hand, and my mom gave one to Garrett, and Edward one to me. I was going to be all over this dessertit looked amazing and was just what I was in the mood for. "Thanks," I mumbled, taking a peek at his green eyes, the steel no longer visible.

"So," Garrett said as Edward sat in the other chair, which no one usually used since it was kind of out of the way, and my mom sat next to Garrett on the couch. "How's Alice's party coming along?"

Unable to bring my spoon any closer to my lips, my mouth hung open, my eyes wide, as I stared at Garrett. Did I not tell him it was a secret? "Um" I had to try and back-peddle, here. "I told him about the party."

Edward's hard eyes focused on me, his lips pulled into a tight, firm line. If there were a way to crawl under the cushion of my chair, I would have. "I see," he said, turning his stare to Garrett. "It's going good, I think." He looked back at me. "Bella has ordered the food and I've made a playlist for the night."

"A play list?" Garrett asked between bites.

"It's going to be a ball, right Bella?"

"Um, yeah." I wasn't sure who to look at, so I looked at my mom. "Alice likes to dance, so we're throwing her a birthday ball."

"How fun!" My mom genuinely looked happy and excited. She was the only one in the room who did. "Where will it be held?"

"My parents' house," Edward said, gaining back the attention. "Her birthday's on Christmas day, so most places are closed and DJ's and bands are charging double."

"The party's on Christmas Day?" Garrett didn't look too happy now.

"Um, yeah, I was going to leave home early," I said, looking back at my momGarrett and Edward looked too serious, "but now that I'm sort of stuck here, I guess it'll work out perfect."

"You and Chief Swan are both invited as well," Edward said to my mom and she practically giggled. If I didn't know better, I would think she liked Edward better than Garrett. Did I know better? She didn't seem to show a preference, even in the talk she gave me earlier, but she responded to Edward differently, more fondly; laughing, joking, and talking up a storm. With

Garrett, she seemed normal, nice really, only not as . . . not as enthusiastic.

"We'd love to attend, Edward, thank you."

"So that's it? That's all you two had to talk about tonight?" Garrett asked, looking over at me. It was my fault he was acting like this; my fault he couldn't trust me. The worse part was that my relationship with Edward was so much worse than what Garrett was aware of. If he knew about Edward being in my room, on my bed, with his arm around me, he'd probably flip, and rightfully so. I knew I'd dump him if I ever found out he was that closeintimatewith another woman while we were dating. I totally understood where he was coming from. He had a right to be the jealous boyfriend right now.

"Well" Edward looked directly at me, his green eyes a little livelier than they'd been all evening. He smiled slightly, the crooked one I loved so much. "I plan to go out on Sunday and finish buying the decorations and stuff we need."

Shit, Sunday was the day I told him we'd get together. Did he still want to? Was he going to say something about it here, in front of Garrett? I didn't want him to. Was that wrong? If he mentioned it, Garrett would want to come along, or maybe he'd want to meet up afterward, cutting our time short. Our time? Edward and I didn't have "our time". We were just friends; that was it. We were friends planning a party for another friend. Well, his sister, my friend.

"I've got to use the bathroom," I said, wanting out of the conversation. My sundae cup was empty, my headache throbbing, and my heart couldn't take the confusion any more. It hurt for Garrett because of the lie I was keeping from him, but it also ached for Edward because deep down, I knew he was a nice guya great guy. We'd started off on a bad note, but we were friends now and I didn't want to hurt his feelings.

My mom helped me to the bathroomthank Godand when we came back, Edward was walking out of the kitchen, the dishes in the living room no longer sitting around on tables.

"I'm going to take off," he said.

Garrett came out of the kitchen behind him and I did the only thing I could think of. "Garrett, can you grab me my medicine and a glass of water? My head is killing me."

He disappeared on cue and then my mom made an excuse and went to her bedroom. I was alone with Edward. "I'm so sorry," I whispered, not wanting to be overheard by Garrett. "He's acting a bit weird when it comes to you and me spending time alone"

"Don't worry about it." His words sounded so carefree and unconcerned, yet the look in his eyes told a whole other story.

"No, I'm sorry. He was . . . well, he thought something was going on between us" I cut myself short. I had no idea what to say. Was there something going on between us? Did Edward want there to be? No, I couldn't allow myself to even think of it. Even if he did want something, I

liked Garrett. He was perfect. There was nothing wrong with him, no reason to not be with him. He was the only guy that passed all of my ruguidelines.

Edward interrupted the awkward pause. "Are we still on for Sunday?" His voice sounded shaky, as if he were nervous, unsure.

"Yes. Don't tellnever mind, just"

"It'll be our little secret." He smiled then. A normal smile, one that lit up his entire face and I couldn't help but reciprocate.

"Thank you for understanding. I'll call you later in the week, okay?"

"Sure."

He leaned in then and gave me a hug. There were two things I noticed about this hug that I'd never noticed before. First, I felthappyrealhappy, and second, my body shuddered from

the contact. Not a bad shudder, but the kind where you feel this jolt type of thing, and it feels so good, and it's so strong that your body can't stand but respond. I'd never felt anything like it before, but my heart, my head, my stomach, the hairs on my arms, everything, every nerve in my body responded to his touch. I almost peed my pants.

"Here you are," Garrett said, coming back into the living room, just as I was pulling away from Edward.

"Thanks, Garrett." I took the glass of water and two pills and downed them both quickly while Garrett said goodbye to Edward. "Thanks Edward, dinner was great," I said softly as Garrett placed his arm around my waist, and we both watched Edward walk out the door of my apartment.

What was happening to me?

Chapter Eighteen Guideline 26

Guideline 26: Chivalry is deadat least it should be. No man in today's day and age actually likes opening car doors for women. He may do it when the relationship is new and exciting, but, eventually, he'll stop, so why even bother doing it in the first place? I don't want a man who pretends to be something he's not. It can only lead to disappointment later on.

"Ow!" Keeping my eyes shut tight, my hands squeezing into the faux-leather padding of the exam table, I fought against the scream and tears, but failed on both accounts. I'm a wuss when it comes to pain.

"Just a couple more, Bella," Dr. Cullen said. He normally didn't do this type of work, I knew he didn't, but he kept insisting he did. If my mom hadn't have been fawning all over him, I would've insisted on having a nurse take them out, but God, she was all over his charmjust like she was with Edwardand I couldn't get a chance to speak between the two of them.

Once all my stitches were outbetween my leg and head I had a total of 31Dr. Cullen went over the results of the tests I underwent a few hours before. My wrist looked great. All the swelling had gone down, nothing was broken. My head, though it looked better, wasn't faring as well. I'd had a Grade 3 concussion, which wasn't necessarily bad, I didn't thinkconsidering it didn't mean I was going to die. Dr. Cullen explained to me that my headaches may continue for a few more weeks and told me to continue on with his previous instructions of not driving or operating heavy machinery and to keep taking my medication. He wasn't thrilled with the idea of me going back to work on Monday either, even if his son was my boss.

All-in-all, I was healing, albeit a bit slowly. With new prescriptions in hand, my mom and I decided to go out for lunch and being in the neighborhood of Edward and Emmett's law firmnot exactly, but close enoughwe decided to drop in to say hi. It wasn't entirely my idea,

I did have my mom's incessant nagging to help make the decision, but I was excited at a chance to see Edward again, before Sunday, or even Saturday for that matter, considering our "friends" Christmas party was Saturday night. The first sight I saw, walking in through the office door, was a pale brunette sitting at my desk talking to Edward. She wasn't drop-dead gorgeous like a supermodel, but there was a beauty within her that seemed to radiate from her eyes and smile almost like an angel. She genuinely looked niceand happy. Happy. Edward looked happy too. The two of them talked and laughed, oblivious to everything else in the roomto meand my mom.

My mom placed a hand on my arm and I looked up into her pitying eyes. Unfortunately it was too late to hide tail and run. Both Edward and his new whatever-she-was had turned to look at us. Her smile turned to one of indifferent welcoming and his actually grew, his eyes brightening as he looked upon me and my mom.

"Bella," he said, coming right up and wrapping his arms around me.

His hug hummed through me, taking me by surprise.

"Edward." His fresh, woodsy scent was right at my nose. I held on for a moment longer than I probably should have and when we pulled away from each other, he kept a hold of my hands, smiling down at me.

"Renee," he said in greeting to my mom before turning back to look at me. "What are you doing out today?"

"I had an appointment with your dad."

"Oh? How'd it go?"

I shrugged. "Okay, I guess. He took my stitches out and ran another x-ray on my wrist, which isn't broken."

"That's great." His eyes looked me up and down before settling on my face again. "How's your head?"

"I still have a knot in the back and a concussion, so he's keeping me on the medication and the same restrictions."

Frowning, Edward lifted a hand, gently stroking his fingers across my left temple. "Take another week off work."

"You sound like your dad." Though I meant to chastise him, I was smiling. There was something about a happy Edward I just couldn't seem to resist.

"For good reason," my mom chimed in. "She's still having the headaches and dizziness as well as nausea. If I hadn't have gone with her, I'm not sure if she'd have told your father."

Edward's eyes narrowed. "Maybe we should cancel our" "No, I'm fine, really."

"I'll talk to my dad tonight."

"Edward, I'm fine. He said I can go out and do things."

"Then you won't have a problem with me calling him."

Stalemate. Inside I wanted to lash out and tell him I was an adult and could do whatever I wanted, but I didn't want to take the smile from his face. Most of the time I'd known him, he'd been scowling or frowning, but today he was smiling and I liked it.

"Fine, call him, but I did already ask."

The woman cleared her throat, reminding us all she was there and Edward grabbed my hand, bringing me forward to myherdesk. "Jane," he said, "this is Bella and her mom, Renee. Bella, Renee, this is the temp, Jane."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," she said, standing to shake my mom's hand and then mine. She

wasn't very tall; maybe a little taller than Alice, but shorter than me. Her lips were a perfectly sweet shade of pink and she had beautiful blue eyes that twinkled along with her beaming smile. Her hair was pulled back in a pony tail, but it wasn't plain or dull. No, it accentuated her cheekbones and eyes. In a way she looked very young, though the way she presented herself and spoke told me otherwise.

"You too," I said, smiling as I let go of her hand. I noticed my desk had been changed a bit, things in different places, but nothing major. Well, it wouldn't be major to most people, but to me, I was raging inside. And for what? I was leaving this job anyway. Actually

"We were hoping we could steal you and Emmett away for some lunch," my mom said.

"Oh, well, Emmett's not in the office right now, but I can go." Edward looked over at me. "Is it just the three of us?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

"Let me grab my coat."

We walked into a burger joint not far from the office, Edward holding the door for us women. My mom beamed at his chivalry and I tried not to frown. It wasn't as if we were on a date. It shouldn't matter if he held a door out for me and I should be grateful anyway, considering my leg was hurting and my mom seemed thrilled by his manners. Just as we sat down, my mom pulled out her ringing phone and looked at the screen. "I need to take this," she said, absently strolling over to the bathroom, phone pressed to her ear.

"Have you eaten here before?" Edward asked, scanning his menu. "No, but Emmett has."

"What gave it away? The endless pile of greasy bags in the corner of his office? The constant scent of grilled beef wafting off his clothes?"

"He is one of a kind, isn't he?"

"Even with three older brothers he shines," Edward said, a little twinkle in his eyes, as if he were remembering something. "His poor mom though, I couldn't imagine the hell he put her through over the years."

"She can only hope that God blesses him with kids just like him."

"Yeah, could you imagine Emmett rocking a crying baby?"

We both laughed. The oddest part though, was that I could picture him with a child in his arms with Rose looking over his shoulder, scowling, as if he were doing it wrong.

"What was your childhood like?" I asked, wondering what sort of mischief he and Alice had gotten into. "I'm sure you were no angel."

"Oh, I was the perfect child; the one parents dream of."

"Uh uh," I said, "you can't fool me."

"You know Alice, Bella, you can't possibly ignore the fact that she has both my parents wrapped around her little finger." He did have a point. Their parents adored her. "She is such a manipulator," he said.

"Jealous much?"

"You didn't have to live with her. From a very young age she mastered the sport of fluttering her eyelashes with sweet, big smiles and wide, innocent eyes. That girl is poison."

"She must've done you in real good."

"She made my teenage years hell," he said, his eyes lifting toward the bathroom, and I turned to see what he was looking at; my mom still on the phone. She waved quickly at us and then turned her head. He looked back at me and continued. "'Eddie won't bring me to Abby's house; Eddie said I look fat; Eddie read my diary; Eddie ate the last Oreo.'" He shook his head. "My God, she

was a little terror, like a Chihuahua."

"You read her diary and told her she looked fat?"

"No, but that didn't stop her from telling my parents I did." "And the Oreos?"

"I had to eat the last one because she ate all the rest; it was all she left me."

"Sounds just like the Alice I know," I said with a huge smile. Alice did have a way with getting whatever she wanted from her parents and even her friends. There was something about her that was irresistible. I could imagine how hard it would be being pitched against her in a battle of sibling rivalry.

"Yeah, she hasn't changed at all. It got so bad when I was in high school that I stopped coming home after school. I knew if I did, I'd end up being her chauffer or having to play some stupid game with her, do her chores, help with her homework"

"And you let her get away with it."

"I wish. It's hard to say 'no' to Alice."

"I know what you mean." Quirking a little smile his way, we laughed together.

"Bella," my mom said, coming up from behind me, "that was your dad." She didn't sit down, but grabbed her coat, which had been draped over her chair. "I hope you don't mind, but we have to get going."

"Oh, um . . . is everything okay?" What was I supposed to do? We'd pulled Edward away from work and now my mom wanted to bail?

"Everything's fine, I just need to do a couple things. You can stay if you want," she said, looking from me to Edward, "but you really shouldn't be roaming around Seattle alone in your condition."

My condition? So I had a concussion, I wasn't falling apart, and Dr. Cullen did tell me I could do things, I just had to be careful.

"I'll bring her home, Renee," Edward said. He looked at me. "If that's okay with you?"

"Oh, um,"I looked at my mom then back at him"sure."

She whirled away, leaving Edward and I staring at each other. It seemed so much easier when I knew my mom was going to join us. Now alone, the tension that always buzzed between us returned.

"Hi guys, my name's Carrie and I'll be your waitress this afternoon. Can I get you something to drink?"

"I'll have a coke," I said, looking over to Edward expectantly. "Make that two."

"Okay, two cokes it is." She grabbed Edward's menu out of his hand and pulled out a white sheet

of paper. "Today we have the Bacon Double Bleu on special for $7.99 and our soup of the day is Minestrone. If you have any questions, let me know." She handed his menu back and hurried away.

"That actually sounds good," I said, staring at the handwritten special on the plain white sheet of paper.

"So," he said, his menu pushed off to the side, "we can talk about Alice or Emmett all day, but to be totally honest, they're not what I'm interested in."

"Oh?" I placed my menu on top of his.

"Well, we know we have them in common, as well as the law firm, so we can't talk about that either."

"No Rosalie then."

"Or Jess and Angela."

"No Jess?" I lifted a brow to look at him. "I'm actually interested in what you have to say about Jess."

"She's dating the UPS man."

"Jealous?"

He laughed. "Jess isI don't really know how to say it."

"How about you tell me why you didn't pursue her."

"Why I didn't pursue Jess? I thought it was rather obvious."

"You kissed her."

Our waitress, Carrie, came back, interrupting our conversation, placing our drinks on the table in front of us. "Are you all set to order?"

"Yeah," Edward said, "we'd like two of your specials." He looked up at me, making sure I was

okay with this and I nodded. Normally, I hated it when men ordered for me, but Edward was just a friend, it didn't affect me the same as it would've had he been a presumptuous date. And besides, I'd said it sounded good. When our waitress left, Edward took a long sip from his coke then leaned back and looked at me. "You and Jess aren't very close."

I shrugged. "We have our moments."

"Honestly, I think she's okay to hang around with, but"

"But she's not your type?"

His lips curled up into a quirky smile, one I'd only seen on him in person, never in pictures. It was adorable, sort of between a smile and a laugh, as if he wasn't sure how to react. "She comes on a bit too strong."

"Really? Jess comes on too strong? What about Bree?"

"Yeah," he said, his hands running up and down his tall glass, playing with the condensation, "she was no better."

His unease made me feel uncomfortable. It really wasn't any of my business to be asking these questions. "I'm sorry, I"

"No, it's okay. I wish I had excuses for my behaviorbut I don't."

"At least you didn't sleep with Jess and lead her on like so many other guys." I was trying to see the silver lining. Every situation had one, right?

"No, I didn't sleep with Jess."

"Okay, let's change the subject. How about music? That's pretty neutral."

His crooked smile assaulted me, thickening the deep haze my mind swam in. "What kind of music do you listen to?"

"Just about anything really. As long as it has a good beat and lyrics I can understand."

"So, top 40 then?"

"Whatever's playing on the radio. How about you?"

"Anything other than top 40." His lips curled up, fighting a smile. "What kind of movies do you like?"

"That's easy. If it has zombies or vampires, I've probably seen it a dozen times."

"Zombies?" He seemed to like that one. "Scary movies then?" "Or anything by Guy Ritchie. What do you like?"

"Romantic Comedies, all the way."

"What?"

He laughed, shaking his head until he calmed down. "I've got every Guy Ritchie and horror

movie worth its rating up in my apartment."

"Have you seen Rob Zombie's Halloween movies?"

"Better than the originals."

"Definitely."

"We should have a movie night; you, me, horror, gore, popcorn."

"Sounds perfect," I mumbled, the tingling sensation of eagerness nipping at my fingertips.

"Here you are," Carrie said, placing a plate of food in front of each of us. "Can I get you anything else?"

"Um,"I looked around the table, finding the ketchup"I'm good."

"Me too."

The burger was huge. So huge, I had to cut it in half, but Edward did too, so I didn't feel as embarrassed. We ate in silence for a few minutes, but I'm sure I let out a moan or twothe burger was divine.

"Excited about tomorrow?" Edward asked, finished with his burger, picking at his fries.

I shrugged and finished chewing before answering. "Yeah, but we need to figure out how to tell everyone about Alice's party. Since we'll be at her place, we should have plenty of opportunities while she's in the kitchen."

"How about I tell the guys and you tell the girls?"

"Oh, did you know that Jess is bringing Mike-the-UPS-man tomorrow?"

"I figured as much."

"He's not a bad guy," I said between bites.

"He's been asking about you," he said with a frown. "We're kind of friends, I guess."

"You don't find it odd that he was interested in you but is now dating Jess?"

Rolling my eyes, I held up a finger until I finished chewing. "This isn't the first time Jess has dated someone I've turned down or gone on a date with a time or two."

"You don't find it weird?"

I shrugged. "Not really. Mike's a nice guy. He's just not my type." My type. God, did I even know what my type was? Two weeks ago I would've said Garrett was my type. I also would've laughed at the idea of Edward and I eating lunch together and having a normal conversation. Maybe my guidelines were a bit crazy. Was Garrett my type? According to my guidelines, he was perfect, but was he perfect for me?

"You bringing anyone tomorrow?" I asked, afraid of how I'd react to his answer. My mom was right. I was attracted to Edward, but was he the right guy for me? He didn't fail all of my guidelines, but he didn't pass them all either. No, he wasn't right for me, and besides, he wasn't interested in me that way. I was good with Garrett. Garrett was good for me.

"Um, no, just me."

My stomach didn't know what to do with itself. It was wound up so tight into a big knot, his answer releasing the pressure, unraveling and making my middle feel like jelly.

"Bella? Bella Swan?"

"Mary?"

Standing in front of our table was a girl who'd hung out with me and the girls during college. She was sort of the sixth in our group, but she was more friends with Marcus so we lost her

whenwell, we lost her. We had still hung out every now and then, but definitely not as often as we once had. I hadn't seen her since graduation.

"I was hoping I'd run into you sometime."

I stood to give her a hug. Jessica had run into her over Thanksgiving break, but I had assumed it was because she was visiting. She'd moved to Colorado and still lived there for all I knew.

"Mary, this is my friend, Edward, Edward, this is Mary Tierney, a friend from college." I sat down, watching as Edward shook her hand.

"You may know my sister then," he said, looking over to me for verification.

"Oh yeah," I said, totally embarrassed that I'd forgotten his relationship with Alice for a moment. "Edward is Alice's brother." "Oh, the hottie! I remember you, or pictures of you, anyway."

Edward turned bright red at her candidness.

"Jess said she ran into you over Thanksgiving. Are you back in town or just visiting?" I asked.

"I'm only visiting. I took a month off, go back to Denver after the new year."

"That's a long vacation, everything okay?"

"I thought Jess would've told you," she said, her eyes darting between me and Edward.

Shit, she was going to bring up Marcus. "Um, yeah, she told me. I, uh, how's he doing?"

"Well, he's had the surgery already but they're getting ready to start radiation treatment, just to be on the safe side."

"Safe side?"

"In case they didn't get it all out."

"Oh." Looking up, I noticed Edward looked confused. "An old friend of ours has testicular cancer."

"You should give him a call," Mary said, pulling out her cell phone. "He'd love to hear from you."

"I don't know, he's not"

"Come on, Bella, it happened years ago."

"I'll think about it, okay?" It was a lie. I was definitely not going to call Marcus. I was fine enough knowing he was doing well; I didn't need to call him.

"Here's his number," she said, sliding a piece of paper onto the table. "It'll make his day to hear from you."

"Thanks, it was good seeing you."

"You too. My number's on there as well." She leaned down to give me a hug. "Don't be a stranger."

"I won't. Bye." Another lieI had no intention of calling her.

"Bye, it was nice meeting you, Edward." With a flutter of her eyelashes and a wink of her eye, she was gone.

On the piece of paper resting between my first finger and thumb, was the number for Marcus. I hadn't been this close to him or any way to contact him since graduation. My stomach turned, my head ached, and I so much wanted to crawl under the covers on my bed and fall asleep.

"You okay?" Edward asked.

"Um, yeah," I said, folding the piece of paper in half, then again.

"You ready to go?"

Looking down at my plate, I stared at the half-eaten burger, which only moments before tasted amazing in my mouth. It put cramps in my stomach now. "Yeah, I'm pretty full."

Out of my peripheral vision, I saw Edward motion for the waitress, handing her his credit card when she came up. I was too tired, too emotionally drained to protest him paying. Instead, I gave him a small smile and a whispered word of thanks.

"You sure you're okay?" he asked, helping me up from my seat. I normally wouldn't have liked his show of chivalry, but my head and leg both throbbed. When was the last time I took my pills?

"Yeah, my leg just hurts, that's all."

"Do you have your medicine on you?"

"Yeah."

He sat me back down in my seat. "Where?"

"My purse."

He rifled through my purse and pulled out two bottles, examining them both. "When did you have this one last?" he asked, holding up the pain reliever.

"At the hospital."

"Here," he said, placing a couple pills in my hand. "Take this." His voice sounded so warm and smooth as I closed my eyes. I still clutched Marcus' phone number in my other hand, so I threw the thing on the table and downed the pills.

"You okay?" he whispered, his face directly in front of mine. He was kneeling down.

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm feeling better."

"I thought I was losing you," he said, his fingers gently caressing my left cheek. His words confused me. "Losing me?"

"Yeah, you look so pale and weak. My dad would kill me right now. I should get you home."

"I'm fine, really, just tired."

He helped me up then, wrapping one arm around my waist, escorting me out of the restaurant. We had a short walk to the parking garage near the office. For a moment I thought he was going to stop in and make a few phone calls, but instead he called Emmett and Jane to tell them he would be late.

Without fail, most likely because he knew I had a guideline against it, Edward opened the passenger door for me. I rolled my eyes and stepped in, shaking my head at his low chuckle. Oddly, I wasn't mad. The way Edward opened the door was as if he was honored to do it for me. Most guys look as if they're forced tolike they don't really care for the chivalry and as soon as the pleasantries of first dates are gone, so would it be. Maybe because I wasn't feeling well Edward had come across as being sincere.

"You forgot your friend's phone number," he said as he pulled out onto the street. "You want me to swing by and see if it's still on the table?"

"Oh, no, I'll be fine."

The uncomfortable silence surrounded us again.

"You don't consider him a friend." He said it as if it were a fact.

"What friend?" I asked, not wanting to have the conversation in the first place.

"The man with cancer. You don't like him."

"I never said that." I gazed out the window, hoping to avoid Edward's occasional glance in my direction.

"You didn't have to. Whenever conversation turns to something you're not comfortable with, the skin between your eyebrows puckers up."

"What?" My right hand lifted, rubbing against the very area he spoke of.

"Was he the one you broke up with in college? The breakup that led to Alice and Rose's bad advice?"

"It's none of your business."

"You don't have to talk about him, but I'm here if you ever need to." I snorted. Was this for real? Was this the same Edward Cullen who used to jump at opportunities to make me feel uncomfortable? The same guy who followed me on dates and treated my guidelines like heresy?

"To talk at all, about anything," he said, looking over at me. "Not just about him."

"Why are you being nice to me?"

"Why were you nice to me the other day when I told you about Lauren?" His eyes showed compassion, as if he genuinely cared.

"His name is Marcus."

"How long were you together?"

Closing my eyes, I melted back into the seat, wondering if this were all a dream. "Almost seven months." He didn't ask another question, so I did. "How long were you with Lauren?"

"Ah, well, that's hard to say. Technically?"I opened my eyes to look at him as he spoke"Only about two months, but I'd known her for a few years before."

"No psychotic episodes until you dated?"

"You could say that."

Silence.

"What about Marcus? Did he seem fairly normal untildid he turn psycho too?"

"Yeah, he was pretty normal, and he didn't turn into a psycho, but a liar."

"Lauren was that too."

More silence.

"Is she the person who kept calling the office?"

He turned to me, shocked. Maybe because I'd never told him about the caller?

"Yeah, she's not very brilliant in her schemes."

"Neither was Marcus."

I probably would've said more if we hadn't arrived at our apartment building. He parked illegally,

letting the doorman know he'd be right back down to move it, then made it to my door just as I was pushing it open.

"Impatient, are we?" His lips cocked up on one side, his lopsided smirk absolutely adorable. He was actually quite charming when he wanted to beor when I allowed him to be. Lord knows I hadn't been the epitome of grace or forgiveness.

"You don't have to open doors for me, Edward, I"

"You're quite capable to do so yourself. I know. What if I told you it gives me great pleasure to open them for you?"

Rolling my eyes, I put my hand in his outstretched one and let him help lift me from his car. "Do you mean like the pleasure one gets from having to bring their granny to the store?" No one really enjoyed that chore, did they?

"I love my grandparents, Bella." He was all tight-lipped, very convincing. Shit, did I just insult him?

"I'm sorry, of course you do"

"You don't have any grandparents, do you?"

"No. One of my grandfathers was still alive when I was born, but he died before I could ever remember him."

"You'll just have to take mine shopping then." He jogged his eyebrows, his smile beaming, and I laughed. God, it felt good to laugh.

As we exited the elevator on my floor, I stared down at my ringing cell phone, seeing Garrett's name flashing on the screen.

"You can take that," he said, helping me down the hallway to my door.

"No, I'll just call him back."

"I don't mind, really, it's not like this was a date."

A sharp pain shot through my chest.

I knew this wasn't a date, why would he have to remind me, or better yet, why would that fact disappoint me?

"Of course not, but it's still rude."

My door opened easily, no need to linger around in the hall, and I turned to say goodbye to my new friend. We'd been having a good conversation and in a way, I didn't want it to end. Edward had to go back to work though, and I should call Garrett back.

"Thanks for lunch," I said, wishing he'd ask to come in. Maybe he could take the rest of the day off and we could watch a scary movie.

"Thanks for stopping by the office. I'll call my dad and see if you're still cleared for Monday." He leaned in and wrapped his arms around me just as I rolled my eyes. I was fine.

"I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Alice's? 8:00 o'clock?"

"Yup."

"I'll see you tomorrow." He smiled. "We still on for Sunday?"

"Um, yeah, Sunday"

"Just dress comfortably and leave the rest to me."

He leaned in then, placing his warm, soft lips against my forehead, and I sighed, closing my eyes as I let the flicker of energy pulse through my body. I liked this new facet of our relationship.

Chapter Nineteen Guideline 16

Guideline 16: A line is what it is; a cheesy, desperate attempt to talk to a girl. There's no

genuine emotion or actual feelings involved and the words uttered are just thatintangible, meaningless words that any moron could memorize. You're not a mouse. Don't fall for such a cheesy trap.

It had only been a little over 24 hours since I'd seen my Scarlett but it seemed like an eternity, and though I'd see her in just a few, short, minutes, it wouldn't be the same. It couldn't be the same when Garrett was with her, especially since I suspected he knew my intentions with Bella weren't strictly platonic. I had accepted that in Bella's case, I wasn't above pursuing a woman who wasn't exactly single. Did that make me a bad person? Maybe, but I wasn't dwelling on it.

Tonight was the "friends" Christmas party, the one where Alice would expect us to celebrate her birthday, and we had every intention of doing just that surprising her even more when we throw her an actual surprise party.

"Please tell me you didn't forget the cake," Rose said as we walked toward Alice's front door and

I closed my eyes in frustrationthe cake was still in the car.

"I'll be right back," I muttered, bummed I wouldn't get to see Bella for a few more minutes. It took 12 minutes and 13 seconds, but I finally made it back up to Alice's apartment and didn't even bother to knock on the door since everyone was already inside, the vibrations from the music shaking the walls. The 'Man in Brown' stood in the center of the living room with a beer bongnot the norm for Alice and her friendsas Jess cheered him on and I immediately began wondering at the cost of sending our business to FedEx mainly because of our driver and his beer bong and not at all because I thought he was using Jessica in an attempt to get closer to Bella.

Speaking of too close to Bella for my liking, Superman sat off to the side, watching with a frown on his face, while Emmett and Jasper spoke quietly next to him, ignoring the scene. All the girlsbesides Jessicamust be in the kitchen.

It was too bad I didn't have a camera with me because it looked like the inside of a clown car as I tried to step into the kitchen. There were hands everywhere, bodies bumped up against each other as all the girlsminus Jess, plus Benwrestled over control of different utensils and counter space.

"Hey," I said, placing Rosalie's cake down on the only free counter space I found.

"Not there." Angela picked up the cake and handed it back to me. "That's the only spot the mixer can go." She hefted a ginormous pink mixer onto the now empty space and plugged it in. "Only plug available," she said with a shrug.

Right. Looking over the small amount of counter space left, I tried to find another spot, but had no luck. "Rose?" I asked, but didn't receive an answer. "Rose, where do you want me to put this?"

Bella turned around, smiling at me, and my stupid heart fucking whacked against my rib cage. I

always imagined she was too pale to wear black, but, my God, was I wrong. She looked amazing in black pants and a black sweater with a red ribbon threaded through the neckline, tied in a bow on one side.

"Hey." She blushed as she pushed her way over to me. "What's this for?" She took the cake from my hands.

"It's a cake." No duh, dimwit. "Um, it's Rose's, I just brought it up for her."

"Awesome! It's her famous cinnamon cake." She smiled at me, her face a pale pink, like the blush on a peach.

"I thought she couldn't cook."

"No, she can't, but she sure can wield a mean credit card."

"For the last time, Swan," Half-pint screeched, turning a wet, wooden spoon in Bella's direction, "out of the kitchen. Now."

"Okay, I'm going." She placed the cake precariously on top of a bag then took a couple steps toward me.

"Did you bring anyone, Edward?" Alice asked and I felt Bella tense up as she paused at my side.

"Um, no, I thought I told you"

Alice's eyes squinted, drilling through mine. "Here," she said, interrupting, handing me a bottle of beer, "take this out to Emmett."

"Tell Emmett to get his own beer, this one's mine." I took a long drag from the bottle and winked at Bella, who laughed.

Alice's head cocked to the side, but she eventually rolled her eyes and grabbed another beer for Emmett. "You better behave or mom said she's going to return all your Christmas presents."

"Typical threat and she hasn't done it yet so I'm not exactly worried," I said, grabbing the other

beer and turning away from my sister. We knew each other too well and I could tell she was taking in mine and Bella's new behavior toward each other.

"How're you feeling?" I asked Bella as soon as we disappeared down the hall. We were almost to the living room, so I slowed up and she stopped to turn toward me.

"Good."

It was only one word, but she did smile.

"Have you told any of the girls yet?"

"Yup," she whispered, looking down the hall toward the kitchen. "I think everyone's going to show."

"Great, so I don't really have anyone to tell." We hadn't thought about that when we decided I'd tell the guys and she'd tell the girls. Telling all of one gender did the trick.

"Just Jasper."

Right. I forgot about him. He was an okay guy, I guess, but he was banging my sisternot a vision I liked having in my head. "I'll find some time with him later."

"Great."

Beads of sweat formed on my foreheadit was hot in the confined hallway. "Are we still on for tomorrow?" Bella's face turned a vivid pink. "Yeah, just, I, ugh"

"Is everything okay?"

She closed her eyes and shook her head. "I can't believe I'm about to say this, but it's not how it sounds."

Cocking my head to the side, I narrowed my eyes at her, anticipating what she had to say; nervous she was going to cancel.

Her eyes opened. "Can we not mention tomorrow around Garrett?"

"Sure, whatever you want."

"It's not how it looks, I swear, it's just"

"You don't have to explain it to me"

"No, it's not that I don't want anyone to know I'm going out with youwhat I mean is, well, we aren't going out, going out, but you know, goingout." Her face was a brilliant red now, matching the deep color of the ribbon in her sweater. "What I'm trying to say," she said, briefly closing her eyes with a shake of her head in frustration, "is that he's a bit jealous, I think, and I don't want him to worry about something that isn'tyou know"she motioned with her hands"worth worrying over."

Leaning back against the wall, I took another long drag from my bottle of beer and realized I'd

have to go back for another after this conversation. "So you're afraid Garrett will think something's going on between us?"

"Um, well, yeah, you knowit's just"

"Is there something going on between us?"

She stared at me, her head barely visibly shaking from side to side, her eyes wide, forehead wrinkled. If it weren't for the loose curls hanging over her shoulders, I wouldn't have noticed the minute movement.

"Then Garrett has nothing to worry about."

"Exactly." She spoke through a loud exhale, her shoulders relaxing and the wrinkles in her forehead softening until they no longer rippled.

"Here," I said, handing her the full bottle in my hand, "can you give this to Emmett for me?"

"Sure." Her brown eyes squinted. "Is everything okay?" "Yeah, I just need to get another beer," I said, holding up my almost empty bottle.

She smiled and I turned, walking back to the kitchen where it was a lot cooler. I stood around and watched the commotion while finishing off my beer before grabbing another bottle and popping off the top. Being around Bella and our friends was a lot harder than I expected it to be. I thought the hardest part of the evening was going to be hiding our friendship from Alice, but, apparently, it was Superman whom Scarlett was more worried about knowing

It wasn't hard to avoid Bella throughout the night. She curled up on the couchGarrett attached to her side the entire timewhile I floated around having funat least tried to have fun. Mike wasn't such a bad guy once I took the time to talk to him, but I could tell he was a bit skeptical of my intentions. He still wouldn't be allowed to sit and chat Bella's ear off when she returned to work, but I could see myself coming out to joke around with him every now-and-then. For the

most part, I joked around with my best friend, Emmett. From the moment I'd met him, he became the brother I'd never had but always wanted. Yeah, we fight a lot and get on each other's nerves daily, but wasn't that typical of brothers?

Every so often, throughout the night, I caught Bella watching me. She turned bright red and smiled every time our eyes connected, and I loved it. If nothing else, I knew we were still friends, but at the same time, it pissed me off that she wanted to hide our friendship from fucking Superman. At one point I was able to gather Garrett's attention and we had a good, yet dry, conversation about the Strong books again; the next book was due out in a few months and he blabbed on and on about what he hoped would be in the book. Bella sat throughout the entire conversation with a frown on her face. Was she upset her boyfriend was so obsessed with vampires? Or was it the smut that worried her?

Bella sat in the living room during dinner, while I drew a long straw and got to sit at the actual

table, so we really didn't see much of each other. Even after dinner, as we all gathered in the living room to do a Yankee Swap, we were nowhere near each other. It was as if we weren't friends, which was what was expected of us considering our past.

At the end of swapping gifts, I ended up with what I brought for the exchange, a bottle of Cognac. Alice insisted I didn't play fair and that I was supposed to buy a gift for someone else. There wasn't much else I wanted though, so I took the Cognac right out of Garrett's hands and left him with some type of contraption that made milk shakessucker. Bella found her own little pot of gold in a gift card to Best Buy. She looked directly at me and mouthed the words, "movie night." Just that simple moment had my skin burning and heart racing. She wanted to share her gift with me. Me. Not Garrett. Me.

I spent the rest of the night smiling like a fool, giddy, and laughing with everyoneeven Jasper. Yeah, he was a great guy, but I really didn't know the bastard very well. All I knew was that he'd

moved pretty fasttoo fast for my likingwhen he first met little Half-pint and men like that didn't usually have good intentions. I hadn't expected him to stick around as long as he had, but he had stuck around and Alice seemed really happy. When I told him about Alice's birthday party, the poor guy looked so conflicted. In the end he swore he'd be there, but I could tell it was going to be hard for him to make it. One of his sisters was flying in from Denver for the holiday and he wasn't sure how he'd actually get away. Telling him to bring his sister was the drink in me talking, but I did tell him to, so it looked like the invite list was growing.

At the end of the night, we sang to Alice and ate cake while she opened her gifts. Scarlett winked at me from across the room and I smiled, which did not go unnoticed to Half-pint. She gave me a wicked smile and her famous fucking look that said, "I know what's going on." That look was my ticket out the door. I hurriedly said goodbye to everyone except Bellait was expected since we hated each other so much. There was no way I was going to let Alice corner me about Bella. Not tonight.

Early the next morning I woke up with excitement buzzing through my bones. This was it; the date that actually wasn't. Well, it was, but not to Bella. I'd purchased a Seahawks sweatshirt and hat for Bella to wear at the game as well as some gloves and a scarf to keep her warm. The Seahawks were playing the Buccaneers and though our team sucked this year, it would still be fun.

At 9:00 am sharp, I rapped on Bella's door with a bouquet of carnations in hand. No, I would neverunder normal circumstancespick up a date with carnations, but it's one of Bella's rules; number 51 to be exact. When she didn't answer, I banged, jiggling the handle with the thought of just walking in, but it was locked. Just as I lifted my fist to bang louder, Renee answered the door in her bathrobe.

"Edward," she said sleepily, rubbing at her eyes and yawning. "Come in, Bella's almost ready."

This really did feel like a date; especially when I sat on the couch, nervously staring at the blank TV, the carnations clutched between my hands. Renee brought a cup of coffee over to me, placed it on the coffee table, and curled up on the other end of the couch.

"You drink it black, right?" she asked, blowing into her steaming cup.

"Yeah."

"Where're you two off to?" Her gaze narrowed on the carnations and I smiled.

"We have a few things to pick up for the party." Not really, but that was the ruse behind the day.

"At nine in the morning? And with flowers?" She took a slurped sip of her coffee, hurriedly detaching the cup from her lips as she closed her eyes, her face scrunching up from the burn.

"We have other plans as well, but they're a surprise."

"Ooh," she said, her eyes narrowing in mischief, "Bella hates surprises"she laughed softly, eyes twinkling over at me"and carnations."

I laughed. "Yeah, I knowit's sort of a joke." Renee barked out a laugh. "You're a brave man, but this could very well be your demise."

"Well, technically," I stressed the word and both of us grinned, "this isn't a date, so it's not like she can dump me."

She took another slurp, this time turning it into a sip as the temperature agreed with her. "The titles we place on things don't mean anything, Edward." She smiled, looked over to the hallway, then back at me and whispered, "Don't give up on her, she's almost there."

"I'm sorry I'm late," Bella said as she gimped her way into the room.

"You're fine." I placed the carnations on the table and stood to help her over to the chair. "Are you sure you're feeling up to this?"

"Definitely. My leg's a bit sore when I first wake up, but give it some time, it'll be fine."

"Time and drugs," Renee said, standing from the couch and making her way to the kitchen. "Would you like some pop tarts with your pills?" she called out.

"Please, mom," Bella said. A shy smile covered her face before she bit into her bottom lip. "Am I dressed okay? I wasn't sure what to wear."

"I've got some stuff in the car if you feel you need something warmer."

"Warmer?" She cocked her head to the side, her chocolate eyes searching mine. "Whatever are you up to, Mr. Cullen?"

"You'll just have to wait and see."

We stared each other down, her eyes playful and excited until they made contact with the object I had laid on the table.

"Flowers?"

Why did I have to get her carnations? Right now I wished I'd gotten her a nice bouquet of roses and orchids, a combination my mom loved to receive from my dad. My hands shook from nerves as I picked up the cheap bouquet and handed it to her. Not only where they carnations, but they were blue and green. God, this was an awful idea.

Her mouth gaped open, her eyes crinkling at the sides when she looked down into the flowers she held. "Carnations?" Her eyes jumped to mine and I wanted to disappear into a mist and hide. This was horrible. Maybe that rule of hers wasn't a bad idea. She was worth far more than a clump of green and blue, gaudy carnations.

"I, um,"I cleared my throat"they go along with the rest of the day?" Now I not only looked like a foolgiving her carnationsbut I sounded like one tooasking a question instead of stating the reason. "Look," I said, wondering if it would be best to cancel the rest of the day. I'd really screwed up. "You can throw them away for all I care, I just"

"Your shoes."

"Huh?" I looked down at the ratty pair of shit kickers I threw on my feet this morning.

"You usually wear nice shoes," she said, her eyes turning suspicious.

"These are nice." They were shoes I'd planned on throwing away, but in order to break another one of her rulesrule 53I decided to resurrect them for one last wear. Yeah, I remembered some of her rules and wrote them down one day. I had to make sure I broke enough on this date type of thing to make her somewhat aware of her absurdity. Unfortunately, I was too transparent.

She already knew something was up.

"Uh, huh."

"Here you are, Honey," Renee said, returning from the kitchen with a plate of pop tarts and a couple pills for Bella. "Would you like water, coffee, or milk?"

"Milk, please? And can you take these and put them in some water?" She handed Renee the sickly, green and blue carnations.

"I'll be right back." As Renee turned back toward the kitchen, she winked and smiled at me. At least I had her mom's approval.

I sat silently while Bella scarfed down her pop tarts. Renee strolled in and dropped off a glass of milk before wishing us a fun time and disappearing down the hallway and into her room. After swallowing her pills, Bella stood and smiled. "Ready?"

"Um, yeah," I said, wondering if the rest of my plans were really worth it. Bella was a special

person; she deserved to be wined and dined, not dragged to something she'd loath just to prove a point. Maybe I didn't deserve her. Maybe the fact that I was going out of my way to break her rules proved I wasn't good enough for her.

The elevator ride down to the parking garage was quietnot even the soft, instrumental version of bad eighties songs played through the speakers. Once in the garage, I led her over to Emmett's Jeep, which I'd packed before picking her up.

"Where's your car?" Bella paused next to the Jeep, looking around for my Volvo.

"I thought it'd be easier in this."

"Easier?" She looked unsure.

"Just get in," I said, opening the passenger door for her, "I'll explain everything later." "Everything?" Her brown eyes searched mine as she sat in her seat, her lips turning up in a playful grin.

"Everything."

Before I could close the door, she asked, "Scarlett?"

Ah, shit. I was hoping she'd forgotten about that. "That depends on how well you behave."

She laughed as I closed the door. She hadn't run away screaming yet; I must've done something right.

As soon as my door clicked shut, she turned toward me. "So, Scarlett?"

I started the car and pulled out of the parking space, pretending to be putting her off until I could concentrate on the conversation.

"Come on, Edward, you can't leave me hanging like this."

"Like what?" I pulled out of the garage and into traffic, focusing on the road.

"Scarlett, Edward. The nickname you gave me."

"I gave you? Why would I give you a nickname?"

"Ugh. You're so infuriating. You pick me up with carnations, wear an abomination on your feet, and won't tell me something you promised to explain to me days ago."

"I thought you wanted to know where we're going." I turned to give her a smile that always worked on my mom. "I'll tell you now, if you want to know."

She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at me with a harrumph. "Scarlett first."

"Shit," I muttered, not sure how to tell her, but knowing she wasn't going to let it slide any longer. "It's nothing, really. I give nicknames to people, that's all."

"Okay," she said, obviously frustrated, "why?"

"Why what?"

"Why Scarlett?"

"Why not?"

"Turn around." "No."

"Yes."

"No."

She pulled her cell phone from her purse. "If you don't tell me why or turn this car around, I'm calling my mom."

I laughed. She was going to tell her mom on me? "Go ahead."

"Fine, I'll call your mom."

Rolling my eyes, I gave her a brief look before turning back to the road. "I can see why you're friends with Alice now." Did she think calling my mom would force me into telling her anything? Alice called my mom at least once a week to complain about the things I do. What was one more thing? Bella's threat was feeble.

"Then I'll call Garrett and have him come get me."

For real? Did she have to bring him into this? "Is it really that important to you?"

"Yes." Her voice was quiet, almost a whisper, her pink lips pressed down into a sad frown. She looked like I'd just killed her puppy.

"Fine, you remind me of Scarlett O'Hara."

"From Gone With the Wind?" She actually giggled. "Why in the world do I remind you of her?"

"I don't know; it just came to me one day. Like, I named Bree, Skittles, it's just something that

happensclicks in my head."

"Skittles?"

"Yeah, she was vibrant and sweet, but too sweet."

"Hmm." She turned her head to look out the window. "Who else do you have nicknames for?"

"Not too many."

"Well, you call Alice, Half-pint, right?"

"Yeah, don't tell anyone about thatshe'd kill me."

"Oh, really?" "Yeah," I said, noticing the smug look that matured over her face. "What?"

"Tell me what exactly it is about me that reminds you of Scarlett O'Hara and I won't reveal Alice's nickname to Emmett."

"That's blackmail."

She shrugged. "And?"

"You don't play fair."

Her eyes lifted in an air of cockiness. "Neither do you."

I wasn't sure what she meant, but I wasn't about to derail the conversation again. She wasn't bluffing in her threat to tell Emmett, and if Emmett knew of Alice's nickname, everyone would know, making me a dead man.

"Fine. Scarlett was a bratty, selfish, stick-up-her-ass bitch."

Bella's playful smile dropped into a frown.

"Is that what you think of me?" she whispered and I swore to myself.

"No, no, I didn't finish. Scarlett is also strong, stubborna good quality, ambitious, feisty, and

loyal. She even had moments of selflessness. She's an enigma."

"Hmm."

"Bella, I could never figure out why Rhett Butler liked her so much, why he kept pursuing her, until I met you."

"Is that a compliment?" Her eyes still looked sad and I felt my heart clench.

"Yes, of course it's a compliment. You infuriate me with your rules and stuck-up snobbery, but at the same time, you're one of the most sincere people I know, Bella. You genuinely care about your friendswould do anything for them; even spend time with a schmuck to plan a birthday party for your best friend."

"I'm a stuck-up snob?"

"Ugh, will you listen to me? No one is perfect. Yes, I focused on the negative when I first met

you, and I'm sorry, okay, I really am, but we all have faults. I'm sure you could come up with a list of stuff you hate about me."

She snorted. "Yeah, that's not too difficult." "See," I said with a huge smile, "and I'm sure you could come up with a list of things you like about me too."'

"I don't know," she said, scrunching her nose as her eyes surveyed me. "That may take some time to compile."

"Well, take all the time you need, I'm not going anywhere."

There was silence for a brief moment before Bella spoke again. "Do you still think I'm a bitch?"

"Definitely," I said, trying hard to keep my expression serious. "The worst kind."

"Really?" She sounded so vulnerable; defeated.

Exhaling, I reached over and grabbed her left hand, wanting to link our fingers together, but knowing it would be a step too far. "I wanted to see you as a bitch," I said, taking my eyes from the road and locking them with hers.

"Why?"

"It was easier than"I squeezed her hand"easier than being turned down."

"Oh."

She never let go of my hand and I held on tightly to hers as I continued down the road. She began rubbing the top of my hand with the fingers from her other hand, her eyes staring down at her fingers and the patterns they made on my skin. I was lucky we were only blocks from our destination. Otherwise, I don't think we would've made it she was too distracting.

Once parked, Bella came out of her daze and moved her head in a circle around the Jeep, looking

out the windows at the cars surrounding us. It was a little after 10:00 am on Sunday morning, and we were parked at Qwest Field, the cars around us buzzing with tailgaters getting set up.

"We're going to the Seahawks game?" Her bright smile shocked me; I thought she didn't do sporting events on first dates. Shit, I needed to keep reminding myself that this wasn't a date to her.

"I hope you like brats and beer, 'cause that's about all I've got."

Nodding her head, her teeth bit into her bottom lip. She seemed a bit hesitant, yet excited at the same time.

"I've got coke and water for you," I added, realizing she couldn't drink alcohol with her medication, "and chips and cookies too." "What kind of cookies?"

"You're just going to have to get your butt out of the car and find out."

I tried to be fast, but failed in making it to her door before she emerged. She stuck her tongue out at me and giggled. "I think that's something Scarlett would do; she was awfully immature, don't you think?"

Her words worried me, but the sparkle and amusement in her eyes did the opposite. "All right, Scarlett, why don't you hobble on over to the back? I'll get the chairs out so you can sit down."

She stuck her tongue out again as she used the Jeep for support, limping to the back. By the time she reached the trunk, I had the chairs and grill out and I was pulling out a bag full of warm weather gear.

"What's all this?" she asked, looking down into the bag.

"Sit down and you can riffle through it."

She did as she was told and began pulling stuff out, eventually holding up a charcoal grey Seahawks hoodiethe one I specifically bought for her. "Can I wear this?"

"Yeah, there's a hat, gloves, and scarf in there for you too." I pulled the cooler out and started searching for the thermos of hot chocolate I'd packed.

"One blanket?" she asked and I looked up into her brown eyes, realizing she knew the game I was playing.

I shrugged. "I figured we could share." Turning back to my task, I found the thermos. "Want some hot chocolate?"

"Ooh, I'd love some," she said, unzipping her jacket. She tore it off and pulled the hoodie on over her head before putting it back on. "I wish I didn't have to cover it up with my coat."

I smiled. She was actually doing better than I'd expected. I thought for sure she'd bitch, moan,

and whine about everything I'd bought and about where we were, but here she was, enjoying herself.

"I bet you're a Patriots fan now, huh?" she asked, sipping from the hot chocolate at her lips.

I shrugged. "Yes and no. It's hard not to root for them when you live out there, but I tried to keep up with the Seahawks."

A light drizzletypical Seattle weatherflittered down and I smiled as I reached into the trunk to pull out an umbrella for Bellarule number 14: must not carry an umbrellaand one for me. I was going for the super bonus of all annoyances. I mean, who would dump a guy because he had an umbrellaor twohandy?

"Here," I said, handing her a black and pink polka dotted umbrella.

"Um,"she looked at me, unsure of what to say"thanks?"

"Everything okay?"

She rolled her eyes as she placed the unopened umbrella on the ground. "I grew up in Washington, Edward. I won't melt from a little rain."

It was obvious I was annoying her, yet at the same time, there was a faint hint of humor in her eyes.

"Well, the brats might," I said, positioning my umbrella so that it sort of shielded the grill. There wasn't a lid for the grill so it needed some sort of protection from the rain. It was one of those little cast iron Hibachi's. It was Emmett's so I wasn't entirely sure if I was using it correctly or if the coals were hot enough, but he said they heated quicker than a normal grill and they looked to be glowing, so I placed the entire pack of brats on the single rack.

"What else do you have up your sleeve?" she asked, laughing at my struggle to keep the umbrella set in its position.

With a jog of my eyebrows, I pulled out a portable iPod dock and slid my iPod into place.

"Don't you dare," she warned, laughing and shaking her head.

Selecting the perfect song, I winked at Bella and smiled. "I couldn't pass this up, Scarlett."

Her giggles turned into a fit of laughter as Britney Spears sang about doing something againoops. I'd heard the song thousands of times before, yet I never really listened to the lyrics. I could, however, remember exactly how she looked in that tight, red, plastic jumper thing she wore in the video. I'm a man after all and Britney can look pretty hot at times, just not my typemore like someone Emmett would appreciate.

Once the song ended, I let Bella go through my iPod and pick something to listen to. I was utterly shocked she selected my playlist of favorite Misfits songs. She shrugged when I questioned her with my eyes and we sat back, listening to Danzig's pipes, Bella huddled under

the only blanket.

"So, tell me," she said as I pulled a brat off the grill some time later, put it in a bun and handed it to her, "what's next on your list of guidelines to break?"

"I figured I'd talk about how I hate vegetables, love cosmopolitans, and am addicted to online role playing games." "As well as peeling labels off beer bottles?"

Looking down, I noticed I had unconsciously started to peel at the edge of the label on my bottle. "Anything to help the day along." I lifted my bottle in a toast to her and then took a long sip.

"Anything else?" Her eyes narrowed, challenging me.

"I thought about telling you my hair wasn't my own, that I shave my legs and armpit hair, and that I prefer to wear a Speedo instead of swim trunks, but I figured you'd see right through those lies."

"But with telling me all that, you'd take care of number" She looked deep in thought for a moment before continuing. "God, I think I'm missing a guideline."

Laughing, I took a bite of my brat and watched her brain kick into gear. She thought so hard I could make out the steam shooting from her ears and every thought process click into place through the ticking of her eyes. Eventually, she pulled herself out of the spell.

"You've just helped me create a new guideline: no liars."

"But what if a guy lies to protect you or to keep something a secret, like say, a surprise party for you?"

"Well that's different."

"You'll need to put a caveat on that rule."

"I don't do caveats."

"You should. Like the one about men not being able to call you after 10:00 pm, what if I was desperate to hear your voice before bed? Would you deny me the pleasure of saying goodnight to you?"

She barked out a laugh, gagging on a piece of brat caught in her throat. "Shit, Edward, you're starting to sound sappy."

"You haven't heard anything yet," I said. "I've been practicing some sappy pick-up lines for today."

"Okay, shoot." She smiled, her brown gaze penetrating mine as I thought of which one I should start with.

I cleared my throat and took a sip of my beer. "Okay, here goes." I looked up at her, trying to be serious. "Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk past you again?"

She laughed. "Next."

"If you were words on a page, you'd be what they call fine print."

"Nice," she said, shaking her head. "You can do better than that though. Come on, Edward, don't let me down."

"If I had a nickel for every woman I'd seen as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents."

She stared at me, unmoving or laughing, I didn't even think she was breathing.

"Okay, lame, I know, but I thought it was sweet."

"Um,"she cleared her throat"it was definitely sweet. I've never heard that one before."

"Okay, here's one that's sure to piss you off. Ready?"

"Are you warning me because you're about to ruin our day or are you hoping I'll let you off the hook?"

"Let me off the hook?"

"Ready."

"I wish I was a DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes."

She laughed. "Where do you get this stuff?"

I shrugged. "The internet."

"Some people have way too much time on their hands."

"It's close to the holidays," I said with a shrug.

"Speaking of which, what time do you want me and my parents over on Christmas day?"

"Oh, my mom didn't call yours?"

"I'm not sure, why?"

"They want you to come for Christmas Eve and stay the night."

"Oh."

"If that's okay?" I asked, sensing her unease.

"Um, yeah, I guess, I justI don't want to intrude." "Bella, you could never intrude."

"Really? You're talking to the girl you nicknamed Scarlett. She wasn't a very welcomed person."

I laughed. "Touch."

"Seriously, Edward, I don't want to put anybody out."

"You won't be putting anyone out. My parents have a party every Christmas Eve, so it's not like my parents will be going out of their way to entertain you all. They're already planning a big feast and everything, so you may as well take advantage of it."

"What about Christmas morning? Don't you open gifts from Santa in the morning?"

"Don't tell me you still believe in Santa, Bella."

"What do you mean?" she asked, a look of confusion glazing over her brown eyes. "Why wouldn't I believe in Santa Clause?"

Studying her face, I paused, contemplating her sanity. She definitely wasn't good at hiding her emotionsshe was a horrible liarand she really looked confused as if she couldn't understand why

Her lips twitched up, betraying her act.

"That was horrible," I said with a laugh, downing the last of my second beer.

She squeaked as she laughed. "You so fell for it," she said, pointing a finger at me. "You know I had you, you know it."

"For that, I'm telling my mom you're coming Christmas Eve."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm sure my mom already said yes. She has this weird infatuation with your dad."

"What?"

"Oh, no, it's notnot like that," she said, shaking her head, panic sliding over her face.

"Relax," I said with a laugh, "she won't be the only one flirting with him that night."

"Don't I know that," Her eyebrows lifted in mischief, her lips plastered into a smirk.

Sick. Was Bella attracted to my dad? "And with that," I said, abruptly standing from my chair, laughing and shaking my head as I realized she was teasing me again, "it's time to pack up and find our seats."

"Can we sneak in the cookies?" She stood, stretching out her leg, which was obviously bothering her.

"You okay? I can bring you ba"

"I'm fine. It's just sore from sitting all morning." She grimaced from the stretch then added, "And I didn't have it elevated like your dad told me to."

"Fuck, I didn't think about that. Maybe we should go"

"I'll be fine, really. I'm going to have to get used to sitting normally some time."

"Just promise me one thing?" I asked, lifting the grill into the back of Emmett's Jeep.

"Sure." She stood to the side, watching me, using the Jeep as support.

"You'll tell me if the pain gets too bad and you want to leave?"

"Promise," she said, holding up three fingers at eye level, "scouts honor."

"Why do I get the feeling you were never a scout?"

"I did Daisies when I was a kid and hated it."

"I bet you were an adorable Daisy."

"Ugh, that was not only sappy, but lame."

Chuckling, I finished packing up the Jeep and placed the cookies into the bag we were bringing into the game. "But true." When she rolled her eyes, I asked, "Are you ready?"

"Definitely."

With an arm around Bella's waist, I led her in through the gates and over to our seats. They weren't the greatest30-yard-line, extremely high upbut we could still see the entire field pretty clearly. We, of course, got stuck next to a group of men around our age who thought it was

cool to not only go shirtless, but to also paint letters on their chests. If they stood in order, they'd spell out the word, "Hawks!" but instead they read, "k!shwa." I took the seat next to them and Bella looked up at me through her lashes, her eyes relaying a myriad of messages, the clearest being one of thanks.

Part way through the first quarter, the valedictorians of Seahawk academia bumbled into their correct seats, properly spelling out their chosen exclamation and Bella leaned into me as she watched them, laughing at their drunken endeavor. It was scoreless and cold at the start of the second, but considering the time of year, it could've been worse. Bella snuggled into my side, the blanket covering the top of us both and I had no idea what to do with my arms. It was a bit uncomfortable with them squished together; trying not to touch any part of her for fear she'd think I was some perv or something. It would be so easy to wrap an arm around her shoulders and pull her close, but we'd had such a great day so far, I didn't want to push my luck.

When the other team kicked a field goal, I took the time to turn to Bella, my thoughts drifting to one of the last conversations we'd had, which had been cut short when I brought her home after lunch the other day. "Have you heard how your friend Marcus's doing?"

"Huh?" She lifted wide eyes to me, I think in shock. "Oh, um, no, I asked Jess last night if she'd heard anything more, but she hadn't. I also checked Mary's Facebook page, but there weren't any new updates."

We watched in disappointment as the field goal passed through the goalposts and scattered bits of the crowd cheered on the visiting team.

"Has Lauren called since we talked?" she asked, maneuvering herself so that it was more comfortable to look up at me. As she did, my arm protested the do-not-touch policy I'd carved out in my mind, and wrapped around her shoulders, which were bulked up by the sweatshirt and jacket she wore.

"There's not a day that goes by when she doesn't call."

"What does she say?"

"I don't know." I shrugged, wondering if I should tell her everything; every dirty, disgusting detail of it all. "I don't answer her calls and I delete her messages without listening to them."

"You have a restraining order against her?"

"No, I never needed thatshe never tried to hurt mephysically."

The human exclamation cheered, and we looked up, realizing the Seahawks were in scoring position. On the next play, they scored and all talk of Lauren and Marcus ceased. The Hawks never scored again and lost miserably to the Buccaneers. After the game, we slowly made our way to the Jeep, Bella's leg protesting each step. She insisted she felt fine, but I could tell with each cringe and low hiss each step elicited, that she was in pain. If only I had thought to bring

her pain medication with us.

The ride back was quiet, but quick, Bella's head tilted back against the head rest, her eyes closed. Once back at the apartment, I reached over and rubbed her leg, right above her knee, and she turned to me, moaning an obscenity for waking her up. Laughing, I squeezed her good leg, right where I knew it would cause her foot to kick out.

Squealing, Bella grabbed my hand and tried to pry it from her leg. "You jerk! I was having a good dream."

"By all means," I said, opening my car door, "I'll just leave you to freeze out here."

She moaned as I shut my door, but didn't try to beat me to hers. Her brown doe eyes followed me around, watching as I deliberately sidled up to her door, opening it with more flourish than needed.

"My lady," I said, bowing as I handed her my hand.

"I think I could actually get used to this," she said with a yawn.

"Really? You thinking of changing some of your rules?"

"Never. It'd still make me feel weird if Garrett did it."

Right. Garrett. "Why's that? Is he not man enough to treat you right?"

It was rude, I know, but I couldn't stop the words from barging through my filter. I expected her to close up and turn her back, like a scared, little porcupine getting ready to shoot its quills. Instead, she closed her eyes and yawned again.

"Insecurity isn't attractive," she said, taking my hand and allowing me to help steady her as she stumbled with her bad leg.

"So you've said." I smiled at her look of mischief, wondering where the prissy, stuck-up bitch I

always thought she was had run off to. Just a few, short weeks ago, Bella would've bit back with some rude, offensive remark. Instead, she seemed amused.

My arms continued to protest my original policy, one arm around her shoulders, the other itching to find a reason to touch another part of herany partas we rode up in the elevator together. The arm around the shoulder was purely for supportyeah, rightand miraculously, she hadn't objected or stiffened from my touch. Some kind witch must have taken pity on me and cast a spell, creating this agreeable version of Bella for the day.

The ease with which this datefriends datehad gone left me feeling like a gladiator, brave and confident, as I walked Bella to her apartment door. On the list of rules I'd hoped to break today, the last listedand one I never thought I'd actually try to breakwas the first date kiss. Was I ready to risk the progress we'd made as friends? I'd hoped to pick away at her barriers bit by bit, eventually ending in a bold gesture, such as a kiss. Yet here I was. My palms itchy and sweaty, heart pounding, stomach flipping.

She turned to face me, her gorgeous smile intoxicating, and I melted into a puddle of liquid heat. This date had been perfect, but, yes, I was boldor should I say foolishenough to risk every last inch of ground we'd made as friends. I wanted her. Even more, I wanted to finally taste her full, pink lips.

"I had a great time," she said, her breath washing over my face as she leaned up to wrap her arms around me. She was so soft in my arms, and the scent of flowers and sweet fruit mixed with the cool, crispness of the Seattle air we'd sat in all day consumed me.

"I did too." I pulled back to look at her, petrified to make my move, but the itch grew stronger, pulsing through my body. "Are you still coming in to work tomorrow? I can drive you"

"I don't know," she said, pausing to bite at her lower lip, her face turning a beautiful shade of pink. "My leg's killing me and you still have Janecan I call you in the morning?"

"Why don't you just take the week off and come back after the holidays?"

"I don't"

"You can use the time to finish planning for the party and resting that leg because you'll need it for dancing all night."

"Yeah," she said with a sigh, her eyes turning down in a sudden change of mood. "I hate to say it, but I think I need the rest. Today was a bit too much,"she looked back up, her eyes searching mine before smiling"but worth every minute."

That was it. The sparkle in her eyes, her radiating smilea pool of warmth shot into my heart and I lost all sense of propriety. Lifting my hands, I cupped her face, the nervousness gone, the second-guessing pushed back into a closet. Without hesitation, I leaned in and placed my lips against hers, firmly, purposely needing her to know how I felt.

And, fuck, but I was the one who was shocked. I knew kissing Bella would be wonderful, but as my head spun while she momentarily pushed at my chest, my heart stopped, sputtered a little, and then raced, pounding against my chest when her fingers stopped protesting and laced through my hair, her lips parting in invitation.

Our tongues touched and her excitement was heard in a throaty moan, egging me on. Everything intensified as I tried to show her exactly how I felt about her, how much she meant to me, with this one, single kiss.

She tasted better than she smelled, a sweet fruitiness mixed with chocolate, sending major vibrations through my blood and right to my dick, which instantly strained against the zipper on my pants. But that wasn't what scared the shit out of me. No, it was the total and complete leap my heart took, my thoughts turning to things I'd never wanted before, things I never thought possible for me; a house, kids, dogs, family vacations, sitting on a porch swing with Bella as we

watched our grandkids playfuck me. It was just a kiss and I was ready to go out and buy the woman a ring and a house in the suburbs with a fenced-in yard in a good school district. She moaned again, her head angling as she nipped at my lower lip, her right hand softly running over my back, down to my waist. This kiss had turned on me. What started out as me wanting to taste her and show her how I felt had turned into her taking from me, and not just my kiss, but my heart. Fuck, I'd lost myself to her in one single kiss, one innocentwell, not totally innocentattempt to show her exactly what had been building up inside me.

This kiss, which was supposed to be a display of my affection, had flipped on me, slamming me down to the ground, placing me totally and completely at her mercy. She had me; all of me, and there was no going back. I would live out the rest of my life loving this woman, needing her like no other, yet I feared I'd only ever have her in my dreams; I wasn't good enough to possess anything more. What had she done to me?

Chapter Twenty Guideline 53

Guideline 53: A man can be dressed to the nines, but it's his shoes that reveal the most about him. A man who doesn't put any care into his shoes, is a man who probably throws his clothes into a ball on the bottom of his floor instead of hanging anything up. He's a slob.

Every muscle in my body flexed, twitching underneath my skin as Edward's lips possessed mine, claiming my soul, my entire body. This kiss was so different than anything I'd ever known before; better than anything I'd ever experienced. With the palm of my hands and the pads of my fingers, I explored his strong chest, up to his shoulders, and into his fine, silky, hair; he felt so right underneath my skin. This kiss felt so right.

Opening my mouth, I let myself succumb to the ecstasy brewing under the surface, wanting more

from Edward than I'd ever wanted from anyone before. The blood within me boiled, bubbling underneath as I tried to calm my splintering heartGarrett's image kept pushing forward, trying to bring me back down to reason, but my God, Edward tasted amazing, something manly, like heady cologne, but mixed with the hint of beer. Mmmm, I wanted to devour him.

His tongue reached in, touching mine. It was so warm and damn my legs, my ankles, myI moaned, enjoying the paralyzing, bone-cracking jolt that shot through my body at his touch. Oh my land of Goshen, my toes curledthey actually curled. I wanted nothing more than for this kiss to continueto never endto always feel this energizing delight. Pulling at his hair, I slipped my tongue into his mouth, tangling, caressing his own, sending every single nerve inside me into a craze, waiting, tingling with pleasure from this fiery kiss.

I wanted his fingers to caress me, his mouth to move over my skinfuck, this was wrongvery

wrongbut I couldn't help but feel how perfect and amazing life could be with this man. Edward's arms tightened around me and we pulled at each other. I wanted ever inch of my body pressed up against his, touching his, feeling his. But as I pursued every last inch of Edward, my mind grew angry, calling me every name in the book; whore, slut, tart, wench, strumpet, tramp, floozy, hussy, harlot, trollop Then it ran out of names and I kept kissing him anyway.

Another groan escaped from deep within my throat, catching me off guard, a sort of cheer, spewing fuel onto my already burning fire. I didn't just want this kiss. I wanted moreso much more. Fuck. This wasn't right. I couldn't do this to Garrett. I'd never cheated on someone before. I hated cheaters. I wasn't like those women. But even by the power of Grayskull, I couldn't bring myself to pull away. His lips were so soft, yet authoritative; firm, yet lovingtantalizing. I was enraptured by everything Edward; his scent, his taste, his strong arms, warm body, succulent lips, silky hair, sensual moansthis kiss totally did me in. I was a goner. Fuck.

Edward's mouth released mine and I sucked in a huge breath of air as his forehead leaned against mine, his arms still firm around my waist, his body swaying slowly. Keeping my eyes closed, I swore to myself, remembering those horrible names once more, wishing I could go backno, I didn't want to go back, but I wasn't sure if I could go forward. What the fuck had just happened? What the fuck had we just done?

"I'll talk to you tomorrow?" he whispered, his musky yet sweet breath flowing across my face. I wanted to lean in and smash my lips against his. I wasn't ready to let him go.

Instead, I suppressed a moan and nodded my head, my eyes still clamped shut. I couldn't think with him so close and I needed to thinka lot. There were so many thoughts running through my mind, I couldn't separate them all.

"Until then," he said, and I felt the tender brush of his lips against mine as his arms released me, slipping away.

I wanted to throw my arms around him, pull him back, and continue where we'd left off, but I restrained myself, balling my hands in fists. His heat was the next thing I noticed missing, his smell lingering in the air as I heard his footsteps trailing down the hallway. Opening my eyes, I watched the last of his steps, his back disappearing as he turned the corner. My life was layered with so many levels of fucked up right now.

"Bella? Is that you?" my mom called from the kitchen as I stepped into my apartment.

"Yeah."

"You forgot your medicine," she said, striding into the living room, bottles of pills in hands. "How're you feeling?" Her eyes scanned my body up and down before searching the area around me. "Where's Edward?"

"Edward?" God, where was he? Was he sitting in his room wondering what the fuck had just happened, or was he pacing up and down his hallthose were the two options I couldn't decide

between doing myself.

"Yeah, where's Edward? Honey, is everything okay?" She marched up to me, wrapping me in her arms. "You look flushed. Should I call Dr. Cullen?" "No!" I half shouted, freezing her with a petrified look. "I mean," I said a lot smoother, "I'm fine. Just winded, is all."

"Winded?" Mom stepped back and looked at me, tucking strands of hair behind each of my ears. "Where'd you two go?"

I couldn't help the slight laugh and smile that tugged on my lips as I replied, "to a Seahawks game."

"You were at the game?" She laughed a little as she disentangled herself from me and shook her head. "I watched it with your dad while we talked on the phone."

"You talked to dad for four hours straight?"

"One of these days you're going to find yourself so smitten with someone that you won't want to be apart from him either." She turned, stomping her way into the kitchen and I shuddered at the thought of what she was making for dinneror had made for dinner, since it was almost seven at night. "Hungry?" she called out and I closed my eyes, remembering the cookies I'd eaten along with the hot dog, pretzel, and popcorn Edward bought me during the game. I couldn't eat another thingthank God. Otherwise, I'd have to settle for her cooking. That or cold cereal. I was sick of eating cold cereal.

"No, I'm fine. I'm tired though, so I'm going to go lie down in bed."

"Okay." She came into the living room again and handed me the pills she'd forgotten to give me earlier. "Take these in case you need them."

My room was so quiettoo quiet. After taking my medicine and changing into a pair of blue and grey flannel pajamas, I laid in bed, staring at the ceiling. I was exhausted, my leg throbbed, and

mind spun. What had I done?

Looking back on the day, I saw how I'd led Edward on; laughing at his jokes, smiling at him, letting him hold my hand, caressing his hand, leaning into him, sharing a blanket with himit was entirely my fault. Hell, I'd even let him break every guideline he could and never said a word. He opened doors, gave me carnations, brought me to a ball gamehe even kissed me on the first date! No, it wasn't a date, which only made it worse. He kissed me on our first non-date. That wasn't true either. If I counted all our other non-dates, this was our third or fourth, which would mean he didn't break a guidelinewhy was I justifying anything he'd done? He did break a guidelineor did he? I wasn't sure. If it was a date, he did, but if notdo I count non-dates, or do I

"Ugh!"

Pulling my pillow over my head, I pressed down, trying to suffocate myself, but I was too weak

and as soon as my body protested the lack of air, I gave in. Okay, so I wasn't so far gone that I'd commit suicide, but what was I supposed to do now?

I tossed and turned all night, which led to a horrible morning. My mom woke me up, asking if I was going into work, to which I had to reply I wasn't. Actually, I didn't want to go back to work at all. I'd told Edward I was going to take the week off, which was only three days due to the Christmas holiday, so it wasn't a big deal, but I was done with working at their firm all together. I couldn't go back. Edward and Emmett had found someone whom they both liked and she was working out greatthey didn't need me to come back. It would be a waste of my time and their money.

It was pop tarts for breakfast and then I sat behind my computer all morning, outlining, plotting, and writing out some dialogue as it popped into my head. Dialogue was the most crucial part of my books. I keep a voice recorder with me for when I'm having an 'aha' moment in the car or

somewhere I can't write and then transcribe it when I get the chance.

At lunch, my phone rang and I looked to see Edward's name glowing on the screen. I wasn't ready. I couldn't talk to him yet. What did he expect from me? From our kiss? And I sure as hell couldn't talk to him until I'd spoken to Garrett. Where did he stand in all this? Should I tell him I'd kissed Edward? YesnoI don't know. It was only a kiss. Okay, it was more than just a kissit was a toe-curling kiss. The firstand onlytoecurling kiss I'd ever experienced. Was I bound to tell Garrett about toe-curling kisses? Probably more-so than if it had been a dud.

Oh, but it certainly had not been a dud. It wasit was magical. For one brief moment, I closed my eyes and imagined myself with Edward, his arms around mine, lips locked together, and the image of Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennett appeared in my head. It had taken them forever to get together, but in that moment of the book when they did, it just felt so rightmy heart sputters

every time I read it. That's how this kiss with Edward was for me; so rightheart sputtering, toe-curling right.

No, no, no. I'd banished the idea of true love years ago. I had to stick to my plan. Love is an action, not a feeling. Just because Edward's kiss made my body soar, head spin, and toes curl, it did not mean there was any sort of love exchange between the two of us. A kiss, does not love make. Who said that? Maybe I said that. That's me. All me. And it was true. Marriage wasn't made based on kissesor sex. Marriage was a commitment between two people. A commitment to never give up, to always be togetherit had nothing to do with kisses, but rather to actively love one anotheralways.

My guidelines worked; they'd brought me Garrett, and he'd been perfect so far. He was a man to build a life around; dependable, comforting, strong, and smart. He was there to sit and talk to, joke around with, read with. He didn't have any characteristics of my many pet-peeves or

annoying habits other men exhibited. He was a sure thing, someone I knew wouldn't change or annoy. Dependable. Yes, that was the perfect word to describe him. I could depend on him being who he is, now and tomorrow. Life with him would be the same in ten years

My phone beeped, alerting me to the voicemail Edward must've left. I would listen to his message later. I wasn't strong enough right now. The kiss was too fresh in my mind, on my lips, coursing through my body. God, just the brief memory sent tingles into the tips of my fingers and toes, each threatening to curl up in glorious painyes, glorious, magnificent, wonderfulick, maybe I needed to watch a gory movie and get these feelings of wonderment out of my system. Stopping the mental and physical torturous pleasure his lips left me in was imperativeI had to get out, I had to immerse myself in somethingsomeoneelse.

Garrett. For the next three days, he was the only person besides my mom, Rosalie, Emmett, and Alice that I saw. I chatted with Ang and Jess on the phone a few times, hashing out a few

logistical issues for Alice's party. I avoided all of Edward's calls and unannounced visits. The calls were easy, as I just didn't answer my phone, but the visits had to be dealt with by never being home. I threw myself into spending time with Garrett mostly, but also going on lunch dates with Rosalie and Alice.

Luckily, I knew Edward's work schedule pretty well and I made sure not to be home during lunch because he could easily drop by, which my mom affirmed me he had. I did text him thoughI couldn't be that mean. I mean, he was a friend. A good friend. God, he was more than a friend to me, but that was the problem, wasn't it?

On Monday I sent him a text stating I was very sore and needed my rest. He texted back, asking if he could bring me dinner. I texted back telling him I already had plans for dinner and that I'd talk to him on Tuesday. Garrett dropped by that night and I had a horrible time trying to stay interested in him. What was wrong with me? Here I had this wonderful guy and I was ruining it.

It was still salvageable, I thought, so I stuck it out. Besides, it was right before Christmas and I knew he'd already purchased my present, and I'd already gotten him something as well. We planned on going out Wednesday night to celebrate our private Christmas and exchange gifts. After that, I'd see him at Alice's party. The thought of the party planted a large chunk of cement in my stomach. I had to face Edward at some point in time and it seemed that time would come sooner, rather than later.

On Tuesday, Edward stopped by during his lunch break while I was out with Rosalie. She had the next couple weeks off from her job and classes at the University, so we took advantage and went out to eat and make last-minute Christmas gift purchases. The one person I wasn't sure about what to get for a gift was Edward. And I had to get him something. Not only would I be at his parents' house to celebrate on Christmas day, but he was also my boss.

After returning home from shopping and listening to Renee lecture me on how I was treating

Edward, I texted him, telling him I was sorry we'd missed each other. He texted me back, asking me if I was avoiding him. Fuck. Ignoring his question, I texted him, telling him that I was busy with last-minute Christmas gifts to buy and stuff to do. It wasn't an all-out lie; I had been Christmas shopping with Rosalie.

Seconds after sending my text, my phone rang, Edward's name glowing once more. I didn't have an excuse to not answer, but I still couldn't bring myself to do so. In the end, I let Edward's call go to voicemail and then texted him four simple words: I need some time. He didn't text or call back the remainder of the day. I should've been happy, ecstatic that he was granting my wish and giving me time. But I missed him. I missed his smile; beautiful, expressive, green eyes; deep, velvety voice; the surge between us when he stood near; the jolt of pleasure when we touched; and mostly, I missed his laugh. God, it had only been a few times that we'd had normal conversations, resulting in any form of laughter, but man, I missed it. I missed him. I just didn't know what to say to him. I was a yellow-belly coward.

On Wednesday morning, I spent my time writing and then met Alice for lunch. I wanted to back out of going to her and Edward's parents' house for Christmas Eve but knew there wasn't any way I could manage it politely. She already knew about her birthday present from Edwardhe'd told her about it when we celebrated on Saturdayand was excited to go ice skating with him. She felt bad, telling me she wanted to cancel because I couldn't join them and she didn't want to be rude, leaving me at their house alone, but I told her it would give me a chance to take a nap and rest up so that the three of us could have fun when they got home.

After lunch I almost called Edward, but stopped myself. I still didn't know what I'd say. How do you tell someone you shared an amazing, outstanding, earthshattering kiss with that you didn't know what it meant, if anything at all? Instead, I sat on my bed and went over my guidelines. Running my fingers over the first thin, warn page, I marveled at how neat my handwriting had

been back then. Alice had been there when I started transcribing into the notebook, sitting next to me, Rosalie standing opposite, a coffee table between us.

Neither of them had said anything about my list being strange or bizarre, yet my non-date with Edward the other day had me now wondering if my list was even sane. What kind of person makes an actual list of guidelines men had to meet in order to date her?

This brought my thoughts to Edward and our non-date. I'd had such a great time with him, and yet, he definitely didn't meet all my guidelinesnot only on the non-date, but in general. Even before the date he failed quite a few of them. Heck, I had an entire section devoted to him.

59. Lawyers are dull, boring creatures that thrive on arguing their casewinning at all cost. Definitely not good husband material.

60. Brothers of friends are off limitsperiod.

61. What is up with men who drive expensive cars, like Volvos? I'd take a man in a beat up old truck before dating a pompous, shiny, Volvo owner.

62. Men with smiles that warp your legs, making it impossible to stand are dangerous. Don't fall for their panty-dropping grins.

63. One minute he's sweet, the next he's Godzilla. It's the same feeling from when I was a kid riding bumper cars at the summer carnival; whiplash. Don't even consider a man who can't decide if he's hot or cold.

Lawyers weren't all dull and boring; I'd met some that really intrigued me. Hell, Emmett intrigued me. Huffing, I reached over to grab a black Sharpie from a drawer. "Edward intrigues me," I whispered, drawing a thick, black line through guideline 59. I love his pantydropping grin, and actually, there's nothing wrong with his shiny, silver Volvo. I drew two more black lines, frowning at the disorder they caused on the page.

Okay, what was next? Oh, one of the ones Edward had a huge problem with: peeling labels off beer cans. That ruleerr, guidelinewas pretty good, I thought. Insecure men are ticking time bombs, eager to pick up the next best thing. Marcus was insecure. That's why he screwed around with so many different women.

No it's not.

"Yes, it is," I muttered, moving on to another ruguideline Edward had patronized on our non-date. Shoesha! What was up with him wearing those God-awful shoes? They must've been nice at some point in time, but they'd definitely seen better days and needed to be put out of their misery. Did Edward wearing them ruin our dateerr, non-datethough? Shrugging my shoulders, I tried to picture Edward at the football game. Not once did I remember ever looking at his shoes. Not even when we sat outside in the parking lot, where his shoes were visible to me the entire time, do I have any memories of his shoes bothering me or sticking out like a sore

thumb. Not only that, but I knew Edward, and he wasn't a slob. Okay, his desk was hidden under countless books and papers, but I'd been to his apartment and it was neat and cleanand knowing Emmett, I knew it wasn't him who kept it that way. Icky shoes, does not a sloppy man make. Fine. Slowly, I crossed off guideline 53. Four down.

Britney Spears music. Man, I actually enjoyed listening to that song with Edward on Sunday. I crossed off the Britney guideline. It was stupid anyway. I mean, it was the guy singing the way he did that bothered me more than the music. Sporting events for early dates, men who have umbrellas at the ready, men who open car doors for women, slash, slash, and slash. I felt sick to my stomach looking at the thick, black marker covering the words I'd put so much effort into writing. Dropping the pad of paper on my bed, I leaned back against the headrest, my arms wrapping around my mid-section, trying to hold in the tremors I felt coming on.

Who the hell was I? Why did marking a few lines through simple words on a sheet of paper feel

the same as taking a fillet knife and slicing me right down the middle? It felt like I was torn down my stomach and everything inside me was about to spill out.

"Bella? Honey, are you okay?" A soft knock accompanied my mom's worried voice.

"Yeah," I said, realizing my voice was chunky and wet, "I'm fine."

"Can I come in?"

"Um," I said, sitting up and wiping my eyes with the sleeves of my shirt, "just a second." I stuffed my notebook under my pillow and looked at myself in the mirror, cringing at the red, splotchy patches on my face and streaks through the whites of my eyes. "Okay, come in."

My mom opened the door slowly, peeking in, a slight frown on her face. "What's wrong?" she asked, pushing the door fully open, whisking her way into the room, and sitting down on the side

of my bed as she draped the back of her hand against my forehead. No fever. "Is it your leg? Should I call Dr. Cullen?"

Chuckling, I shook my head, a smile perking up at the sides of my mouth. "You'll use any excuse to call that man. What will Esme say when we see her tomorrow?"

She smiled, a warm glow surrounding her face. "Is this about a certain boy?"

"Mom," I whined, briefly closing my eyes, chastising myself, not for what I was about to say, but for not denying what my mom was implying. "He's not a boy, and you know that."

"Fine, is this about that hunk of a man, boss of yours?"

"You're really sick, you know that?" I laughed when she did and she wrapped an arm around me, pivoting so that she was sitting next to me on the bed, her back up against the headboard toothe same way Edward and I had sat not too long ago.

"He called me a few minutes ago."

"He did? Why?" I searched her eyes, making sure she didn't hold anything back.

"He's worried about you." She frowned when I didn't respond. "He wants to make sure we're still going to his parents' house for Christmas."

"Yeah, I just talked to Alice about that today."

"Listen, Bella," she said, and I felt a shift in intensity through her arm and the side of her that pressed up against me. "I'm not going to pretend to know what's going on between you and Garrett or you and Edward, but you can't leave them both hanging."

"I'm no"

"No excuses to me, I'm not the one you're leading on."

I opened my mouth to speak again, but she cut me off with her hand, holding it straight in front of my face.

"No. I just want you to know that if you need to discuss anything with me, I'm here. I'm not asking for the details, but if you want to talk, I'll listen and try to give you an unbiased opinion."

"Unbiased?"

"Let's face it; we both know I'm a bit partial to one of them "

"Edward," I said, dragging out the 'a' sound in a negative moan. "Like I said; if you want to talk, I'll listen and give unbiased advice, or just listen and keep my mouth shut. It's up to you."

What could it hurt, asking my mom a few questions? I needed to talk to someone and with Edward being Alice's brother and Rosalie's boyfriend's best friend, the two people I would

normally hash this out with were off-limits to discuss this with. "It justI meanwhat made you fall in love with dad?"

"Your dad and I met when we were young. Much younger than you are."

"I know, high school sweethearts, each other's firsts," I said with a frown. I always wanted to only have one sexual partnermy husband. That didn't mean I was waiting to get married to have sex, just that I was waiting until I was in love with a man that loved me back.

"First?" my mom asked, her eyes widening, a look of alarm and shock whitening her fake tan.

"Yeah, weren't you and dad each virgins when you started dating?"

"Oh God, Bella, how do I answer this?"

"You mean you weren't?"

"Each other's firsts? No. Well, I was his first, but your dad was number five for me."

"Five? You were a junior in high school when you started dating!"

"Bella, I" She frowned, planting the bitter pill of guilt inside my stomach.

"Oh, mom, I didn't meanI mean, I just always thought dad was the first one, the only one."

She laughed bitterly, shaking her head, her eyes distant, in another dimension. "No, Mike Manners was my first." She looked at me, a sympathetic smile lightly caressing her teeth. "He was my neighbor and thought it would be a good idea for us to have sex so that we could both say we'd done itget it over with, so-to-speak."

"Get it over with? Didn't you want something special for your first time?"

She shrugged. "I was curious about what it would feel like."

"Oh." There wasn't anything else I could think to say. This was my mom; my virginal momobviously not virginal, as I was her daughter, but I always assumed she had been virginal before she'd met my dad.

"Sam Halloway was next. He used to take any willing girl back behind the curtain in the theater at the high school and let them give him blow jobs." She laughed. "What? That's disgusting. You didn't"

"Yes, I gave him a blow job, Bella, but I was special. He actually had sex with me, which he didn't do with any of the other girls."

"Mom"

"No, let me get this off my chest. Lord knows I've been holding it all in for a long time."

"Does dad know about this? About all the guysboys?"

She shrugged. "Yes and no. He knows he wasn't the first, but he doesn't exactly know who or how many."

"Oh God, I don't think I want to know all this then."

"How about you?" she asked, wagging her eyebrows up and down. "How many lucky men have you given pleasure?"

"Mom," I said, pushing away from her. This was the most disgusting conversation.

"It must be so exciting to grow up in your generation. People don't view casual sex as taboo anymore. Back when I was in high school, I had to hide it from everyone. Oh, there was this guy Fred, I thinkor was it Greg? Either way, he was number four. I used to help out during our church services on Wednesday nights and he was a visitor that I was showing around. It was pretty sick and twisted, I guess, but he took me bent over the altar, which was hidden behind a curtain since it was Wednesday, as the pastor gave a sermon in a different part of the room."

"What? Mom, that's just sick. Didn't they hear you? See you? I mean, shadows and stuffand you don't even remember his name!"

"Stop being so dramatic. It was people like me and Fredor Gregwho paved the way for you and your friends."

"No, you didn't pave the way for me. You turned it into big, huge chunks of gravel. Don't you get it? It's hard to tell if a guy is really into you for who you are or if he just wants to get laid."

"Oh, Honey, you can tell"

"No, I can't."

"Is that what this is about? Did you have sex with Edward and now you're not sure how he feels about you? Because let me tell you, that boy is so smitten with you. You should've seen his face yesterday when he dropped by. He looked so horrible, Bella. So worried, sad, confused,

scaredBella, Edward's definitely in to you." "No, no, I didn't have sex with Edward. Mom, I'm a virgin for crying out loud."

"A virgin? Bella, you're so beautiful, why in the world are you still a virgin?"

"Ugh." Closing my eyes, I leaned my head back against the headboard, desperate to pound it into the wood. I wanted to knock myself unconscious, wake up in another universewhere my mom was still a virginbut after the concussion I'd suffered, I had to hold back.

"What? You want to be a virgin?"

"Mom," I said in a warning tone. She wasn't helping anything at all.

"Do you need pointers? Are you afraid?"

"Stop! I'm not afraid, and I don't need pointers, okay? This" I threw my arms out in

frustration"this stupid sexual revolution ruined it for me, okay? I've always dreamed of marrying the one and only man I have sex with. Don't you get it? I want what I thought you and dad had."

"Well, in a way"

"No! Dad doesn't count. Don't you see? I" Even now I couldn't get it out. The fear, resentment, guilt, disgust; it was all balled up inside me. I was a whore, a slut, a dirty little skank, but my mom wouldn't understand. God, she'd think I was a prude for not joining Marcus and the sorority slut, no doubt. All these years I'd called myself names, belittling myself for the choices I'd made, sure my mom would be so disappointed, disgusted with me if she knew the things I'd done to Marcus and he to me because I'd fallen for his false promises of love. Well the joke was on me. She'd probably be half-proud that I at least had some experience under my belt.

"Honey, what is it? You can tell me," she coaxed, rubbing her hand over my arm.

"No, I don't think I can."

"You're mad at me?" She looked confused again. Did she think she'd found a kindred spirit, a confidant in her myriad of sexcapades? She'd had more men thanwell, more men than everyone in my group except for Jess, but you couldn't really compare someoneeven my momto Jess. She was like the high, and Angela the low when figuring out the mean of a set of values. Throw out Jess and Ang, and you were left with me, Alice, and Rose. Compared to us, my mom was aa slut.

"No," I said, sighing as I gave in, "just shocked."

"I know you won't hold this with any esteem, coming from me, but I think you should have sex with both of them." "Mom!"

"I'm serious. Try them both out and see. A dud in bed is a dud. Period. Plain and simple as that."

"Okay, no more advice from you."

"Promise me something then?"

"Sure, what?"

"Talk to someone? Rose or Alice. Okay, not Alice, since Edward is her brother, but Rose? Please?"

"I don't think I need to talk to anyone about this. I know I'm not waiting for marriage to have sex, and I also know I'm not going to go screw around to find love through sex. It's the love thing that has me all confused. I'm just not sure how to knowwithout any doubtthat I'm in love."

"Hmm. Maybe I can help you there."

I lifted an eyebrow at my mom, not entirely sure I wanted her advice on love since her sex talk fell totally flat. "You? Love?"

"Dear, I have only ever been in love with one man and he's the only man I've ever married, or will be married to."

"Dad is amazing," I said. "He'd kill you though. You know that, right? If he ever heard the things you just told me, encouraged me to do, he'd kill you."

"Yeah," she said with a laugh, "I think you're right." She tapped the top of her foot against mine, getting my attention. "I knew your dad was 'the one' from the moment we first touched."

"Really?"

"Yeah, there's this forcesome sort of energythat zips between us. Even to this day, whenever we touch, it's like a gigantic spark. I've gotten used to it over the years, but at first it was hard to understand. He's the reason I stopped my whoring ways," she said, nudging me with her shoulder. "I know what you're thinking about me, but Bella, I can't go back and change that part

of my life. I enjoyed myself, so what? I've been a hundred percent faithful to your father and our marriage. Doesn't that count for something?"

"Yes," I said, leaning into her, placing my head on her shoulder. "It counts for everything."

"Trust me," she said, pausing to plant a kiss on top of my head, "you'll know when you're in love."

That's what I was scared of hearing. I had no feelings of love or any type of romantic affection for Garrett other than a little bit of passion, but it was more physical with him, as I only felt it when we touched intimately. Edward was the one who sent my mind in a tizzy and my body in a twirl just from being in the same room as me. He was the one that sent pulsating, bright, blinding light through my body and made my toes curl when he kissed me. God, if he could provoke those feelings in me from one simple kiss, imagine what he could do to me if we

No, I couldn't go there. Not yet. I needed to make a decision first.

Chapter Twenty-One Guideline 40

Guideline 40: Unibrows. Ick. Need I say more?

Wednesday night, after recouping from my mother's sexual history reveal, I went out with Garrett for our Christmas dinner and we exchanged gifts. I had ordered some proof copies of my new Isaiah Strong book with the intent to give one to him, but when it came down to it, I wasn't ready to let him know what I did for a living. He seemed to be a pretty big fan of the books so I wasn't sure how he'd react to finding out that he'd been dating the author and that I'd been keeping it a secret. Neither of us were ready to call what we had love and I didn't want him knowing who I was to color his feelings, so instead, I decided go with my original plan and gave him a framed lithograph of The Prayer at Valley Forge. Hopefully he didn't have one yet.

Garrett gave me a gift card to Barnes and Noble along with a gold necklace with a gold charm of my first initial. The 'B' had a floral design engraved on it, and was very beautiful. He also gave me a bottle of perfume. It wasn't a scent I would normally wearmore spicy than fruitybut I decided to wear it whenever we go out.

After dinner, as I debated over what to do about Edward, I crossed more guidelines out of my notebook. The more I crossed off, the more I realized my list was evolving into a new list: safety rules for dating. That's right; rules. The majority of rules left revolved around dating safety, and not the little nuances that bothered me personally.

By the next morningChristmas EveI wasn't any closer to making a decision. The problem was that I had feelings for both men. Garrett and I had spent a couple months getting to know each other, building a relationship, while everything with Edward was new and unknown. I had no idea if he was interested in me for any other reason than a good timea flingand if he did

want more, I wasn't sure how much more he was able to give considering his past with Lauren.

In the end, I sat silently in my dad's car, watching the lights of the city pass by, unsure of what to do or say when I saw Edward tonight. It was Christmas Eve and I'd be spending the next 36 hours at the Cullen's. What would I say to him? What would he expect from me? Garrett was coming to Alice's party. We were still together; I couldn't promise anything to Edward. Not now, and maybe not ever.

I had three options. One, I could forget about Edward and continue on with my relationship with Garrett; two, I could break things off with Garrett and try for whatever type of relationship Edward was willing to give me; three, I could break things off with Garrett and forget about Edward, starting new and fresh.

Thing was, all three options broke my heart. I admit that Garrett hadn't filled my life with love and I wasn't sure if he ever would, but having to say goodbye to him would still hurt; we did

have a relationship, even if we were more friends than lovers. How do you say goodbye to a good friend, never planning to see them again? And with Edward, well, the thought of having a relationship with him both thrilled and frightened me. There was passion in every interaction we'd had: in our friendship, our one, fiery kiss, and the disdain and hatred we'd started with. This fact alone scared me because I was not only drawn to his charm but also the energy between us. I could easily see myself falling in love with him, yet I didn't think he would ever feel the same for me.

"Oh, how beautiful," my mom said from the front seat as we pulled up to the Cullen's house. The eight bedroom, three-story, white housemansion, if you asked mesat on a three and a half acre, wooded lot overlooking a lake. It was complete with six bathrooms, movie theater, outdoor kitchen and fireplace, indoor kitchen, game room, informal dining room, and formal dining roomwhich would act as our ballroom for Alice's party. Tonight all the trees in the front were

saturated with white, twinkling lights, a large wreath with a simple, red bow on the front door.

Every time I'd come to visit Alice and her parents here, I'd had a great time. This time, though, I was nervousbeyond nervous.

Everything happened fast. One minute we were pulling up to the house, the next we were parked and walking up to the front door. My dad rang the doorbell as I stood behind my parents, nervous about how I was going to get through the visit. Dr. Cullen answered the door, inviting us in, shaking hands with my dad, and being mauled by my mother's aggressive hug. I was next, and he gave me a gentle hug before leading us into the formal living room where people chatted in small groups, drinking, laughing, and eating.

"Bella!" Alice said, hopping up to my side immediately, already buzzed by the sound and smell of her. "I'm so glad you made it. My cousin and I were just about to go out back and make S'mores in the fireplace."

As she dragged me out back, we passed Edward, who broke from his conversation to watch our retreat. Our eyes met and I gave him a small smile. He smiled back, but I saw the hurt and confusion pass through his green eyes along with the heaviness of uncertainty. Then turned back to the man he'd been talking to, allowing nothing more than the brief smile between us.

My stomach felt heavy as I sat with Alice and her cousin Beth, chatting about jobs and boys. Whenever they'd look at me to see if I had anything to add, or when Alice would ask a direct question about Garrett, I gave an empty answer, not wanting to devote myself to the topic. Truth was, the only person to make me as giddy as the two girls next to me were, was Edward; even Marcus had never made me giggle like a school girl. When they started talking about intimacy between them and their boyfriends, I was desperate to share Edward's kiss with them to see what they thought, what it meant. Hell, I didn't need anyone to tell me how I felt about the kiss, but I was unsure about how he felt, and it was entirely my fault since I'd been avoiding him the past few days.

The night wore on and thankfully the meal was served in a buffet style allowing the guests to eat at their leisure and anywhere in the house they felt comfortable. Many of the older people ate in the informal dining room while people my age ate in the living room or game room. Alice, Beth, and I brought our food up to Alice's room and ate while listening to music and talking about girl stuff. It was probably rude to disappear, but my parents were having a great timeRenee was a social butterfly, always had been, and would take care of my dad. Also, it was extremely crowded on the main floor. No one would miss us.

By the time Beth and her family left, there were only a few people sitting around the formal living room. I still hadn't spoken to Edward, but we constantly made eye contact and smiled at each other. Was he waiting for me to go up to him? Was he giving me space? Or was he avoiding me too? It was hard to tell. Worse, I didn't know which scenario I preferred.

At a little before eleven, I sat on the couch, tired, with Alice's arm draped around me as she leaned on my shoulder. Edward finally came over and sat in a chair next to us.

"Hey," he said, his Adams apple bobbing in nervous uncertaintymy heart swelled for him.

"Hi." My stomach twisted into knots as heavy cement settled in it one more time, my heart sputtering anxiously. Did it suddenly get hot in here?

"How're you feeling?"

It'd been less than a week since I'd seen him, yet it felt like an eternity. He looked as tired as I felt, bags under his eyes, scruff on his face, and his hair was messier than normal.

"Better," I said, looking down at the floor where I saw a pair of perfectly polished work shoes on his feet, which activated memories of our non-date to the Seahawks game. Right now I wished he were wearing those God-awful shit kickers and kissing me outside my apartment.

"Is she passed out?"

"Huh?" I looked up, confused. My mind was churning over the last moment we'd spent togetherthe kissand he was asking about what?

"Alice. Is she sleeping?"

"Oh,"I looked down at her head, her eyes closed, a steady rhythm of breath exhaling from her mouth"yeah, I think so."

"I'm not asleep," she mumbled, lifting her head. "Just resting my eyes." Edward chuckled, the sound shooting hot pulses of energy through my body. He had such a sexy laugh. "If you need help getting her to her room, just let me know."

"Actually," I said, looking around, "I wouldn't mind the help." What was I doing? If he helped me bring her to her room, we'd end up talking, or worse kissing. Oh, how I wanted to kiss him

again.

Edward lifted Alice from the couch and helped her up the stairs as I trailed behind them, saying goodnight to everyone we passed. Once in her room, Edward sat her on the bed and then she ordered him to leave. He hesitated a little, his eyes looking over at me, questioning if I'd join him. Alice gave him my answer when she announced that I was staying in her room with her tonight. Normally, I would've objected as I'd slept in the same bed with Alice before and it wasn't fun. She was a kicker and a slappera very uncomfortable person to sleep with. But seeing how I was trying to get out of talking with Edward, I smiled sadly at him and whispered, "We'll talk later," as I ushered him to the door. He smiled, looked over my head to Alice, and then bent down and tenderly placed a kiss on my cheek.

As if I hadn't already been torn, that single, simplest of kisses sent me over the edge, my head twirling, skin tingling, creating a pit of indecision that churned deep inside me. Just one little

peck on the cheek spurred more reaction in my body than any tongue-tangling kiss I'd ever had with Garrett. The only question now was whether or not I was willing to give up a sure-thing for something that may just be a delusion on my part. Edward had never declared any feelings toward me. Not that Garrett had told me he loved mehe hadn'tbut I knew he was, at the very least, interested in pursuing a long-term relationship.

All night I tossed and turned on the floorAlice had kneed me in the stomach, resulting in me leaving her bed altogetherthinking about what I had to do. If I followed my head, I had two options; leave Garrett and start new with someone else, or stay with Garrett. If I followed my heart, as my mom had encouraged me to do, I would dump Garrett and jump into Edward's armsif he'd have me. God, what if Edward didn't want anything but a tryst with me? What if he was only interested in the excitement of the chase? Why did I analyze everything too much?

Christmas morning was a lot of fun. It was just me, my parents, Alice, Edward, and their

parentsa small, quiet group. The strangest part of the day was when Edward and I both received the same gift from our respective parentsa Nookwhich had us both laughing, exchanging a glance that melted my heart. In that one look, I saw that Edward did care for me, even if it was just as friends. Friends. I didn't know if I could only ever be friends with him. That kiss was soit changed my entire worldwe really needed to talk.

When it came time for Edward and I to exchange gifst, I was utterly nervous. His gift to me was absolutely perfectThe Misfit's box set, which was shaped like a coffin, and one of Rob Zombie's CDs. His gift couldn't have been more perfect.

My hands trembled as I passed him the wrapped gift I'd gotten for him. It wasn't anything as special as what he'd given me and I felt horrible. Alice and my parents all knew I was Isaiah Strong, but Edward and his parents had no ideaat least I didn't think any of them had an idea. I decided to give him one of the proof copies of the next book in my vampire series and signed it

to himfrom Isaiah, of course, but the message was personal, which I never did for anyone else when signing. I figured as soon as he read the message he'd know the truth. Instead, he seemed genuinely confused.

"Is this the new book?" he asked, his head cocked to the side.

"Um, yeah. I know how much you liked the other three, so"

"You even got it signed?" He looked at the title page of the book, reading the message. I couldn't breathe.

"One of these days, you're going to have to tell us how you know this guy," Esme said, grabbing the book from Edward. "I didn't even think this was out yet."

"It's not," I said, looking over to Alice and then my parents, unsure if I should just blurt out my secret or not. If Edward didn't notice the stamp on the inside cover that read, "Proof Copy", in big letters and put two-and-two together with the personal message I'd written him, what was I

supposed to do? I just assumed he'd figure it out. Maybe he was waiting until we were alone to tell me he got it? "It's supposed to be released the first Tuesday in May."

"Wow, an advanced copy?" Edward asked, taking the book back from his mom and leafing through the pages.

"Well," I said, unsure what to say, "I"

"Bella keeps her little Isaiah Strong secret for a reason," Alice said, and I knew she was doing what I had her swear to do; keep my secretGod bless her. "One of these days she'll tell us all how she knows him." She winked at me and I smiled. I'd have to tell Edward later, when we have our talk about the kiss.

Unfortunately, Edward and I never got that talk. Once we finished opening presents, we ate and then Edward took Alice out to ice skate in downtown Seattle. As soon as they were out the door, Esme, Renee, and I got busy. Rosalie and Emmett showed up a couple hours later, and then

everyone else started arriving around five.

Edward's job was simple; keep Alice out and then bring her to the pool house to get her dressed up for the evening. If she asked, he was to tell her that we wanted to surprise her with a special dinner out. It would ruin a little of the surprise, but we couldn't figure out how else to get her dressed up for the ball. In the end, we figured her knowing we were throwing her a little dinner party wasn't that big a deal. The real surprise was having all her friends to celebrate with her. Esme had shared with my mom and I that Alice had never had a friend's birthday party on her actual birthday, and I couldn't wait to see her expression.

It was odd seeing Garrett, knowing we were in Edward's house, but he made me smile and we had fun setting up together. He had a dry humor that not too many people appreciatedmaybe it was from being around all the stuffy university professors?but I understood ithe made me laugh. He helped move tables, hang decorations, take coats as people arrived, and played bar tender for a while as I changed into my dress.

Jasper almost arrived lateI didn't think he was going to make itwith his parents and all three of his sisters, two of which are married, so their families came as well. Edward had mentioned Jasper would be bringing his sister and her family, but I hadn't realized his entire family was comingI thought it was sweet and something Alice would cherish.

The food was ready, Emmett had Edward's iPod hooked up, his playlist for the evening already runninghe had music prepared for the entire evening, even songs picked out for before him and Alice arrivedand we all stood around chatting, drinking, and eating appetizers, waiting for the birthday girl to show up.

Rosalie kept an eye on the back yard, watching for them to emerge from the pool house. When Rose gave the signal, we all hid in the formal dining room, waiting. In typical Alice fashion, she jumped and squealed with excitement when we all shouted, "Happy birthday." Edward had

somehow managed to change toohe must've put his change of clothes in the pool house as well. His eyes found mine right away and he smiled. I wanted to go to him and ask how their day ice skating went, but I had to remember where I was and who I was with. Garrett.

The evening turned out wonderful. It was the first time we were ever able to surprise Alice and she loved it. For the most part, I hung out with the girls or Garrett. I wasn't avoiding Edward at this point, but I wasn't seeking him out either. He spent his time with some of his cousins and EmmettI was achingly aware of where he was at all times.

Garrett seemed to be having a great time and made some new friends. It turned out that one of Jasper's sisters was the Creative Director at the Museum of History and Industry in Seattle, so they had a lot to talk about and hit it off very well. While he was busy chatting with her, it gave me time to spend with my parents and eventually Edward.

"Bella?" he asked from my side.

I'd been talking to my mom, who smiled brilliantly when Edward approached and then departed with these words, "I'll leave you two alone." It wasn't the words so much as the wink she gave Edward that had me wishing I was an ostrich so I could burry my head in the sand. Okay, ostriches don't burry their heads in the sand, I know that, but if I were an ostrich right now, I would.

"Are you having fun?" Edward asked, pulling me from my stupid internal blabbering.

"Oh, yeah, it was great to finally surprise Alice."

"Yeah," he said with a chuckle, "it's a good thing she was surprised because she wasn't happy to have to change in the pool house. You should've heard her cussing at me." Giggling, I looked over to Alice, who was dancing with Jasper, a look of elation shining from her face, and sighed. "She's happy."

"It's been a great day."

"Yes, it has," I said, turning back to look at Edward. He looked amazing in his black suit, white shirt, and black tie. Not that I'd never seen him dressed up, he always dressed nice for work, but this was different. We were in a social setting. If I wanted, I could reach out and touch the lapel of his jacket, orno, I couldn't do that, I decided as I turned to see Garrett laughing with Jasper's sister.

"The next song is for you," he said, a lopsided, mischievous smile lifting the corners of his lips.

Narrowing my eyes at him, I cocked my head to the side, knowing it must be a Britney Spears song. "Really?"

"Come on,"he grabbed my hand"let's dance."

Dance? Edward pulled me out to the dance floor and I searched the small crowd for Garrett, unable to find him. "You know, I'm over the whole Britney Spears thing," I said. Then I heard

the opening measure of the song. It definitely wasn't Britney Spears. "Is this?" I couldn't exactly place the song, but the music was familiar.

Edward pulled me close and put his hands on my hips. "Let me know if your leg hurts," he whispered, looking down at me.

His body moved, moving me with him, and I put my hands up, around his neck, feeling like a high-schooler, but enjoying the feel of being in his arms. When the first words sang out of the speakers, I started laughing, looking up at Edward in wonder. "Vampires in Love?"

He shrugged. "I figured you had a thing for the Misfits and for Isaiah Strong's vampires, so"

"Mmm," I said, leaning in, trusting him to lead me in dance. "This song is perfect."

Edward's arms tightened around me when the song ended, holding me closer, tighter. Looking up, I questioned him with my eyes, his only answer an adorable smirk. As the next song started, I

knew instantly it was for me too. He'd planned this; these songs. I'd never been a huge fan of country music, but who could resist Bonnie Raitt's unrequited love song, I Can't Make You Love Me? The lyrics alone gave me chills, echoing the thoughts in my mind about how I felt toward Edward. Was it possible he felt the same about me?

Our bodies moved perfectly together, and, in that moment, it was as if no one else existed except us. The dance floor was ours, the formal dining room empty in my mind as I laid my head on his shoulder, breathing in his woodsy, spicy scent. Could life be this simple? This wonderful? It was when I felt Edward's lips against my temple that I came back to reality. Lifting my head, I searched his eyes, looking for answers to my unasked questions, and finding exactly what my heart hoped to see.

"Edward," I warned, knowing this wasn't the right place or timetechnically, I was still with Garrett.

He gave me a sad smile, pulling me back into his chest, our dance never faltering. A few bars

later he whispered, "I didn't expect to see Garrett tonight." There was a coldness in his tonea bitterness I dreaded but expected.

Pulling back, I looked up at him. "He's my boyfriend, Edward. Why wouldn't he be here?" It was a challenge I shouldn't have muttered, but it was too late; Edward's eyes snapped in anger as he looked down at me, his lips firming into a white line.

"So this is how it is? Our kissI mean nothing to you?" His voice lowered with his second question, his green eyes turning murky, the pain glazing over the rage.

"This isn't the time or the place," I said, looking around to make sure no one caught on to the intensity of our conversation.

Edward pulled me away then, grabbing onto my arm, dragging me into the foyer. Before he could turn around and start what I assumed was going to be an argument, Garrett found us, his hand grabbing a hold of Edward's arm to remove his grip from me. Edward turned on him,

grabbing his hand and bending his wrist, causing Garrett to grunt in pain.

This was awful, ridiculous, and yet, entirely my fault.

"No!" Maneuvering myself between the two, I placed a hand on each of their chests, keeping them apart. "Stop; Garrett, Edward, don't do this."

They glared at each other and I turned to Garrett, my eyes pleading. "Edward just needed to talk to me about work, that's all." I wasn't above lying to keep whatever it was Edward and I had between us a secret.

Garrett looked through me, over to Edward, his eyes piercing. "He was hurting you."

"No, he wasn't, I'm fine." I darted my eyes over to Edward, begging him to calm down. His face was bright red, his eyes set with daggers, the veins in his arms popping out. When I looked back at Garrett, he looked just as eager for a fight; ready to pounce on Edward. "He's just mad,

Garrett, okay? Emmett told him I wasn't coming back to work"I felt Edward's heart stutter under the palm of my hand and my heart sunk, wishing I'd told him about this earlier"and he got mad because I never told him or formally resigned. It's my fault," I said, relaxing a little when I felt Garrett's body step back.

"I didn't know you were leaving your job," Garrett said, his eyes now trained on me.

"II hadn't decided until today when I was talking to Emmett." Part of that was true. I did pull Emmett aside to tell him I wasn't returning, but I'd decided a few days ago, not today. "I wasn't expecting he'd tell Edward. It's my fault Edward's upset. He just wanted to talk to me about it."

"That's no way to treat a lady," Garrett said, looking over my shoulder to Edward, who I assumed was even more pissed than before, but I was too chicken to turn and see for myself.

"She should've had the decency to discuss it with me in person," Edward said, his voice low and

hoarse.

"I would have." Turning, I chanced a glance at him. His eyes were on fire now and not because of Garrett, because of me. "I just hadn't found the right opportunity."

"Well there's no better time than the present," he said, his eyebrows cocked up in challenge. Could I walk into a room with him right now and discuss this? No, this wasn't the only thing he wanted to discuss and I couldn't talk about the other issue with him yet. Not with Garrett around. We'd need to do that another day.

"Later," I whispered, being the yellow-belly coward I am. "Tonight's about Alice, we should go back to the party." I stared at Edward, wanting so much to do just as he wantedleave Garrett and talkbut it wasn't the right time or place. We couldn't do it here.

"Shall we dance?" Garrett asked, interrupting the strained pause in conversation.

"Um,"I turned from Edward over to Garrett"sure."

The remainder of the night dragged painfully slow. Edward and I steered clear of each other though we constantly made eye contact, neither of us smiling when we did. Whenever Garrett's attention was occupied, I hoped to find Edward alone so I could explain that we needed to do this the right wayis there a right way to go about this situation?but never did. Garrett didn't seem fazed by the encounter with Edward and I noticed he spoke excitedly as he told me about Jasper's sister Kate. The two of them had a lot in common, both being history buffs, and even though their passions were in different eras of American History, they still hit it off remarkably well. If I hadn't known better, I would've assumed Kate walked on water, healed the sick, and fed the poor. It wasinteresting to see this passion in Garrett.

Many guests decided to stay the night, Garrett being one of them. Luckily Alice and Edward had a single male cousin staying the night as well, so Garrett was able to share a room with him. At

the end of the night, he walked me to Alice's room and kissed me gently before walking back down the hall to where he'd be sleeping. But it was still early and I wasn't tired. I entered Alice's room, which I wouldn't be able to stay in with Jasper staying the night, and grabbed my stuff, bringing it to the room Beth was staying inwe'd decided to share a room.

I wasn't the only one still restless. A few of us changed into comfortable clothes and went back downstairs. On the way, I ran into my parents and kissed them goodnight. When I walked into the game room, where the after-party was being held, everyone was paired upeven Edward, who played ping pong with Beth. He didn't look up at me when I walked in and for some reason, this hurt more than I expected.

I hung out with Emmett and Rosalie for a bit before challenging Jess to ping pong and then playing a couple games of pin ball alone. After that, I looked around at everyone, frowning, realizing I was more interested in spending time with Edward than hanging out with everyone

else. Unfortunately, he still hadn't so much as looked in my directionat least I hadn't caught him looking.

Sneaking out, I ventured onto the patio, thankful that a fire was still burning in the fireplace. The chill of the crisp winter air crackled in my mind, helping clear my aching head. Staring through the trees, I took in the view of the lake, wondering if there was even a decision left to be made. As much as I fought what my heart wanted, it was winning out over the logical side of me, and truth be told, I wasn't strong enough to fight it any more. I wanted Edward.

Edward

"I'm surprised to find you out here alone," the devil himself said, his words laced with rancor. He stood just outside, maybe ten feet from where I sat.

"Why's that?" I might've wanted him, but the way he spoke to me pissed me off.

"I figured you'd be with your boyfriend."

Turning toward him, I frowned at the bitterness crackling in his eyes. "What do you want?"

"Isn't that a loaded question," he said, taking a few steps toward me. "I should be asking you the same thing."

Rolling my eyes, I ignored him, turning back to the large back yard, looking out into the darkness.

"What rule did I break this time?" His acrid voice sounded closer.

"You're such an asshole," I said, whipping my head around to glare at him.

Edward shrugged. "Wouldn't matter if I wasn't, now, would it?"

"What're you talking about?"

"Have you ever stopped to think about why you're still alone and unhappy?"

"I'm not alone," I muttered, "or unhappy."

"You won't date men who peel labels off beer bottles because you think it shows their insecurity, yet you're the insecure one." He smirked as I shot fire through my eyes at him. "Take a good look at your rules, Bella, they're meant to push men away, and you're doing a damn good job at it."

"You're one to talk." I stood, facing him. "You ran away from one psycho bitch to get involved with another. Maybe you could use some rules of your own."

"At least I didn't build a wall around me to keep women out. I'm willing to risk the heartbreak and annoyance of a stalker to findwell, who knows what I'll find, but at least I'm out thereI'm trying."

"Such a martyr. It's a wonder you're still single."

"Take a good look at yourself, Bella. You're the one throwing away a chance atwell, you're throwing it away."

"Why? Because I have standards?"

"No, Bella, you don't have standards, you have excuses."

"Excuses? That's why you think I won't date you? Because of excuses?" I'd crossed so many of my guidelines off my listout of my headyet just the gall of this man had me wanting to defend their prior existence. "Even if you passed all my rules, I wouldn't date you. You have way too much baggage, you're moody, a chauvinistic prick,"I took a step closer to him, pointing a finger at his chest"cocky, proud, insensitive,"I took another step, closing the space between us"annoying as hell, prettier than most girls I know, and I bet you shave between your eyebrows!" My finger pressed into his chest with my last step, my heart racing, breath heavy, and head spinning.

"Are you done?" His angry, green eyes spat sharp daggers right through me.

"No," I said, roughly grabbing a hold of his shirt in my fist, "you're an asshole too." I pulled him down to me, crushing my lips against his, unable to keep up the fight I no longer felt.

He grabbed me forcefully, pulling me hard against his body, one hand pushing into my hair, scraping my scalp as his teeth bit eagerly at my lips, and I opened up, plunging my tongue deep into his mouth. The sweet, snapping pain of muscles flexing rippled through me, and I moaned into his mouth, grabbing, pulling at his hair and shirt, my toes bending, curling in painful delight.

If he'd come out to the patio in a different mood, this whole conversation would've went a different way, though I'm sure it would've ended up in this same situation; the two of us kissing. The kiss would've been tender though, loving. Not the raging fury it was.

His lips moved from mine, down to my chin, and over to the left side of my neck, biting, licking, and sucking, causing both pain and soft caresses that sent a tingly pulse of heat through my veins, down, between my trembling thighs.

I clutched onto Edward, hissing from the pain, groaning from the pleasure, my mouth finding Edward's lightly stubbled neck, leaving a trail of bites down to the curve of his shoulder where I bit, and sucked, savoring this new flavor that was entirely Edward. My hands explored, running down the solid, lean muscles of his back, enjoying the power beneath my palms, my lips moving back up to his chin, over to his ear as I sucked his earlobe into my mouth and bit downhard.

His hands moved all over me; my back, sides, waist, hips, up and under my long-sleeved t-shirt, his fingers leaving a wake of flames on my fevered skin. When he palmed my breast, I cried out, attacking his mouth, one hand finding its home in Edward's hair, the other sliding down to his firm, tight ass

"Maybe we should take this inside," Edward murmured against my lips, his fingers pinching at my beaded nipple.

"What're we doing?" I asked, breathlessly pulling back, my eyes questioning, trying to hold back the desire andloveGod, did I love this man?exploding in my heart, and I was sure, my eyes.

"What we should've done months ago." He leaned down, capturing my lips with his, this kiss gentle, tender, loving, reminiscent of the kiss we shared a few short days before, his hands following the lead of his lips, caressing my soft mounds.

Arching my back, I put all I had to offer Edward into this kiss, my tongue tangling with his, letting loose of any restraint that might've lingered in my mind. My hands continued their perusal of his body, enjoying the strength and ripples of lean muscle underneath his clothes. When he pulled my hips into him, I felt the firmness of his need, the echo of his groan vibrating down my

throat, and I wanted more. I wanted all Edward had to offer me.

He quickly pulled away, leaning his forehead against mine, both our breathing labored and loud, his eyes burning; green embers hot enough to torch the greater Seattle area. "Come on," he said, struggling to right himself as he grabbed a hold of my hand and entwined our fingers together. The gesture was intimate, sending a flutter through my pounding heart and I did as he asked, following him in through the glass sliding doors, down a back hallway I hadn't found before, and up the stairs to his bedroom.

There were no thoughts straining in my head, fighting to win a battle I no longer wished to fight. There was only desire andlove inside me. Even if he only gave me this one night, I wanted to show him how much he meant to me, how important he was to my life, how he changed me, healed me, even if it was never his intention to do so.

We picked up where we'd left off outside, only now there was no restraint; no reason to keep our

clothes on. I quickly found myself in only a pair of black, frilly undiesAlicelying on Edward's bed, him standing in front of me in jeans and nothing else. Sitting up, I reached my hand out, trailing it softly over his rippling stomach, down to the waist of his pants, and undid the button, unzipping, and pulling the fabric down.

I was now eye level with a pair of maroon boxer briefs, his large bulge straining to emerge. Looking up at Edward, I bit at my lower lip, wondering if he'd want what Marcus always expected of me. Only, I didn't think of it as a chore right now. I wanted to touch him, to taste him, to feel the long, hard length of him slide inside my mouth, his hands tangled in my hair, leading me. Hesitantly, I reached out and cupped his clothed arousal, wrapping my hand around, stroking slowly as I looked up at him.

"Bella," he whispered, his eyes showing the battle going on in his head.

I was afraid he'd tell me to stop so I didn't give him time to say anything else. With one full

swoop, I pulled his boxer briefs down and licked from the base of his engorged flesh, up to his tip, swirling my tongue around his firmness, moaning from the pleasure it gave me. He was solid and full in my mouth, his fingers firmly grasping my head, his soft murmurs and groans encouraging me on. He was close. I could feel the twitch of his erection. But a moment before I was sure he was going to explode, he pulled out, panting, staring down at me. His hands reached out and pulled my soaking wet undies off as he took a step back, ravishing me with his eyes. He was a predator, and I, apparently, his prey.

Pinning me to his bed, he held my hands up, above my head, his tongue worshiping every soft curve of my skin, teasing, biting, suckling at my breasts, down, over my stomach, to the promised land. His tongue circled my blossom, dancing, twirling with it as he showed it the love it desired. Tangling my fingers through his rich, auburn hair, I looked down at the sight of his head between my thighs, and he looked up at me, locking our eyes together, his tongue still

moving over my swollen flesh. If I hadn't have known better, I would've sworn it was love pouring out from his gaze.

Not wanting to read too much into his actions, I threw my head back, closing my eyes, allowing my body to justfeel.

His tongue moved lower then, diving deep into my center.

"Oh God, Edward"

He pumped his tongue inside me, his fingers finding my tingling nub, rubbing gently, yet not enough. I bucked my hips, causing Edward to chuckle, and the vibrations from the sound filled me. "More," I groaned, bucking my hips again, and Edward's tongue moved back up to my silky pearl and I sighed heavily, unable to stop an array of odd sounds from escaping my lips.

His fingers found my opening, teasing at first, and then one slipped in, curling up inside me. I

released a heavy sigh as it slid out. It pumped back in and out and I thought I heard the words, "so tight," mumbled against my flesh, but my head was swimming at this point, not fully hearing anything. A second finger joined in and I felt the pull on my skin, the pressure pleasantly stronger, fuller, his fingers curling together, triggering the hint of a release as his tongue worked faster, flicking front to back, side to side, bringing me closer and closer.

Swiftly, with a cry of release, I was filled with a white, blinding, cold heat as my body arched off the bed, every muscle trembling, joints twisting, legs stretching out in reflex. A myriad of words spilled from my lips, none of them intelligible as pulsating waves of pleasure took over my entire being.

Waiting for my eyes to focus and panting to subside, I felt Edward slide up my torso. His lips found mine, his kiss adoringly gentle, as my arms encircled him, grasping him to me as I tasted myself on his tongue. Why this turned me on, I didn't know, but a flame of energy pulsed

through me, and I heard a moan escape my lips as our kiss turned hungry, needy.

My center still tingled, and I could feel his pulsating flesh pressing against the inside of my thigh, moments from my passion-moistened depths. He maneuvered himself, lifting up as he supported his weight on his forearms, his lips moving to my neck, placing tender kisses behind my ear. "Bella," he whispered, moving up to my earlobe, sucking it into his mouth.

His hips pushed forward, the head of his eagerness easing into my slick, wet heat. Exhaling loudly, Edward looked down at me, kissing me as he pulled out and entered again, penetrating further, grunting into my mouth. As he started to pull out again, panic filled me and I placed my hands on his chest, stopping his movements.

"Wait," I said, panting, "wait."

Chapter Twenty-Two Guideline 23

Guideline 23: I don't need a man with hard, rippling muscles, but muffin tops, I can not do.

Wait? What?

With the head of my dick still tucked inside Bella's center, I froze, looking down at her in confusion. Her lips, which looked so glorious around my cock only moments before, were now worried, scared. Shit? Did I hurt her?

"What's wrong?" I asked, searching her eyes for any indication of what she was feeling. "Are you hurt?"

"No," she whispered, her right hand relaxing against my chest, rubbing slowly up to my shoulder, and then around to my back. "I, umdo you have any protection?"

My dick twitched, eager to continue its probe as I sighed in relief. Why hadn't I thought of that?

Contrary to popular belief, I had never had sex without a condom, and now that I was feeling all this glory without the thin, latex barrier, I wondered why more women didn't use birth control. Bella's silky walls caressed me; tight and scorching hot. Ugh. I pushed in a little more, leaning down to kiss her lips, savoring her sweetness before pulling away and out, scrambling off the bed, and throwing on my jeans and a t-shirt, my mind focused on finding some condoms.

"Where're you going?" Bella asked, and I turned to look at her. So beautiful.

Her hand clutched a blanket to her chest, covering her curvaceous body, hiding my joy from me. I smiled. "I didn't plan on"I waved my hand, gesturing between us"this. I don't have any"

She frowned. "Oh."

My heart raced as I noticed her disappointment. "I'll get some though," I said in a rush. "Just wait

here." Walking over to the bed, I leaned down, stroked her cheek with my fingers, and kissed her lips longinglydrawing it outour tongues stealing a quick, yet tender caress. "I'll be right back." I gave her one last peck then walked out the door.

The obvious choice for condoms was Emmett, though I wasn't sure if he'd be in his room yet or not. Opening up the door to the room he and Rosalie were using, I peeked in, relaxing when I found it empty. Now all I had to do was find what I was looking for. That wasn't a hard task either, as Emmett was extremely predictable. Sitting proudly in the drawer of the bedside table was a box of twenty extra large, Rough Rider condoms studded. Chuckling, I pulled out three, then a fourth, finally a fifth condom, stuffing them into my pants pockets. One could never be too prepared.

Bella waited for me in bed, lying under my covers with a slight blush on her cheeks. I pulled one of the condoms from my pocket and threw it onto the bedside table before pulling my clothes off

and joining Bella under the sheets. "Now, where were we?" I asked, feeling tacky as shit for using that line, but it was too late to take back.

Giggling, Bella pulled me to her, her lips murmuring against mine, "Right here."

Oh, the sweet joy of Bella's lips. Just one simple kiss from her had been my undoing days ago, and every kiss since then plunged me further and further into this pit ofGod, it was love. I loved this woman and it scared the shit out of me.

My hand sought her soft, perky breasts, enjoying the feel of her taut nipples under my palm and the sound she made deep in her throat when I pinched it, pulling a bit. I loved the reaction her body had to my touch and I knew I would never tire of seeing her this way.

Positioning myself at her entrance, I pushed forward while she lifted her legs, wrapping them around my waist. She was tight, deliciously tight, and she felt amazing against my bare skin. I

admit, I'd never been tempted to dive in without a slicker, but now that my dick had tasted the silky, sweet pleasure of going bareback, I was doomed.

"Shouldn't you?" Bella asked, looking at me with wide open eyes, vulnerable, and nave. This side of her was a rare occurrence.

Leaning my forehead down against hers, I breathed in the fierce gasps for air emitting from her mouth before kissing her, our tongues reaching out toward each other like long lost friends. "In a minute," I said, pulling out and pushing back in, coming into contact with" What the? "Bella?" I tried to restrain myself, but I was half-way inside her, her walls practically sucking me in further, but the barrier I'd encountered kept me out.

"Is something wrong?" Her voice shook a little.

Lifting, I searched her eyes, not entirely sure what I was looking for, and confused as all fuck of what to do. I didn't want to stop, but I couldn't do this to hertake her virginity like this. "No,

Scarlett, nothing's wrong, I just" Didn't she realize I'd be able to tell? "Are you a virgin?"

Fear flashed in her eyes, and I saw her walls building back up, her guard clicking into place. Fuck. I didn't want that. Shit.

"There's nothing wrong with it, Bella, I just didn't knowI wouldn't haveI don't want to take advantage of you."

Her head slowly shook back and forth, her teeth biting into her bottom lip. "You could never take advantage of me," she whispered, and the trust I saw shining back at me was a fierce blow to my heart. She trusted me. Completely. Yet here I was inside her, stealing something she'd obviously saved for someonesomeone special, no doubt.

It was incredibly warm and smooth inside her, and I didn't want to leave, but I couldn't stay in her like this either. As I started to pull out, Bella attached her hands to my ass, pushing me back in.

"No, don't," she said, her molten brown eyes shining with what I would swear was love, pleading for me to stay with herin her.

"Bella,"I leaned down and kissed her"I can't take this from you, not like this."

She continued to try and push me further in. "Please Edward? I want you."

She wants me?

"I need you."

She needs me?

"Make love to me."

Make love to her? She wants me to make love to her? To be the one? She didn't know what she was playing with, how I could barely hold on to the restraint I fought to cling to. God, I wanted

herneeded hertoo. "Are you sure?" I asked, uncertain about what answer I wanted to hear.

She reached a hand up to my face, trailing her fingers down my cheek to my jaw before pulling me down, eagerly kissing my lips, slipping her tongue inside my mouth. I was undone. Did she not understand I was completely and irrevocably in love with her? Joining in the kiss, I pushed my hips into her, sinking in the little bit I'd lost when I'd tried to pull out, and her body relaxed, her legs lifting, wrapping back around my waist. I pulled out slowly, whispering words I had no control over into her mouth as I looked into her eyes, watching as I pushed forward with force, breaking through the thin barrier, taking what she freely gave. I was a rake, a cad, a fucking asshole for doing this to her, but right now I didn't care.

Once fully sheathed inside my girl, I stopped, gasping for breath as I attempted to keep myself from coming. Lord, she felt incredible, her fiery walls surrounding my entire cock. There was a subtle, yet amazing pressure, almost the same sensation as her mouth sucking me, which was on

the brink of bringing me to an explosive and premature end.

"Fuck," I muttered, pulling swiftly out, thoughts of my grandmother, Emmett in a Speedo, a bitter blizzard, anything to keep me from coming, racing through my mind.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked, sitting up, looking at what I could only imagine was a horribly pained expression on my face.

"Nothing, I just need to cover my shit up."

"Oh." She looked curious as I grabbed the wrapper I'd thrown on the bedside table.

"You want to help?" I offered her the condom, wondering which side of Bella I'd get. She was usually so sure of herself. It was odd to see her act uncertain or shy.

"Sure," she said, taking the package and opening it up. She pulled out the condom and stared at it, and then at my dick, which glistened from her sweet juices.

I stroked my hand up and down my length, not because I needed to work at keeping it hard, but because it felt good and the way her eyes devoured my cock had me eagerly leaking, ready to get back inside her sweet surrender.

She didn't need any direction as she rolled on the condom, a slight smile playing on her lips as she felt the bumps along the latex. "Not that I want to think of him right now," she said with a smirk, the cocky, confident Bella returning, "but did you get this condom from Emmett?"

With my junk protected and Bella's cocky ass back, I flipped her over, shutting her up with a kiss, and dove right into her tight depths, groaning as her walls pressed around me. Bella's sexy whimpers and moans of appreciation and pleasure fueled me on as I filled her over and over again, rocking deeper and deeper, picking up a rhythm that worked for both of us. Her hips rose to meet each and every one of my thrusts, gyrating in a circular motion, creating friction as her silky, pink snap rubbed against my skin.

Looking down, I watched her body writhe beneath me, her inexperienced movements creating sensations no woman had ever created in me before. Placing a hand between us, I positioned my thumb over her sweet nub, pressing down in a circular motion as she arched up.

"Oh, God, Edward," she groaned, and I leaned down to capture her voice, making love to her mouth as thoroughly as I was her body. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy hearing my name off her lips as I made love to her, but Garrett was right next door.

As the pulsing ache in me built up, my rhythm increased, pounding harder into Bella. Noises continued to pour from her mouth, which I tried to silence as best as I could, but I'm a man after all, and enjoyed hearing them, so I let many escape.

"Bella," I whispered between pants and grunts, "you don't know what you do to me."

She bit my lower lip, sucking it into her mouth. I was so close, so ready, but I fought to hold it

back, wanting to prolong the rapturous feeling of riding the glorious waves of power with this amazing creature. "Come with me," I whispered as my body began to vibrate, my legs shaking. "Come with me, Bella." I devoured her lips, plunging my tongue deep into her mouth, my thumb vibrating against her clit, and just when I didn't think I could hold it any longer, her walls clenched around my cock, pulling, sucking, milking me as I detonated inside her.

The cry she let out as she came, joined with my cries, creating a chorus of praise as our voices screamed each other's names between whimpers and pants, expletives of how great we'd made each other feel.

"Fuck, Bella, shit"we panted into each others' mouths, foreheads pressed together, mouths wide open, lips touching, exchanging breaths"you're remarkable."

With heavy breathing, she tried to talk, but all I could make out was, "awesome," and

"incredible." Whatever she was saying, I know I felt it too, as those words had coursed through my mind as well. It was as if our worlds collided in one glorious display of light, blinding me to any future that didn't include this amazing woman. As much as I wanted to declare my love for her here, now, not wanting to waste another moment, I knew I couldn't. She'd been right earlier when she said this wasn't the time or place. We couldn't get together while she was still datingtechnically datingGarrett, and she couldn't break up with him here, either. In all due time, I told myself as I wrapped my arms around my Scarlett, kissing her head, and pulling us both onto our sides, facing each other.

"Are you cold?" I asked her, scouting for the blankets that disappeared from the bed.

"A little." She nuzzled into me.

With a blanket around us, silence ensued, though I felt her lips against my skin, her fingers playing with the thin layer of hair over my chest. Her touch left tingling trails of heat as she

explored my torso, my back, and eventually my ass. "Should I turn over?" I asked. The shocked expression on her face made me chuckle and she hid her head in my chest.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled against my skin, "I" "Don't apologize, Babe, you can touch me all you want." I leaned down and kissed her, elated with how easily we fit together, how right this felt between us.

"You don't mind?" she asked, a look of hope streaming from her chocolate brown eyes.

"Not at all." I kissed her again, unable to contain myself.

"Lay back," she said, kneeling on the bed beside me, her hands nudging my body to comply.

Lying stark naked at her knees, I watched her eyes as she looked me over. Starting at my chest, her hands trailed over my skin as she perused down to my stomach, her lips quirking up into a smile as she outlined my firm stomach muscles. Her fingers continued, skipping over the one

area that shouldn't be hard to miss, down to my legs and feet, then back up to my sex, which grew under her scrutiny. Her hands grabbed a hold of me, her teeth biting into her lower lip as she lovingly stroked my iron-hard arousal, beads of liquid dripping from its head.

My heart accelerated as she leaned down and I watched with wonder as she stuck out her tongue and lapped at my juices, and then circled around my throbbing flesh. Oh, God, it felt amazing, unbelievably amazing. Just as I was sure she was going to take me fully into her mouth, she looked at me, a sour expression on her face as she licked her lips. "What's that taste?" she asked, looking up at me. "I know part of it's me, but the other"

"Latex." I chuckled as realization dawned on her, but the joke was on me when she winked, then swooped down, devouring me in one gulp.

It was the best sleep I'd had in a long time, but I woke up earlier than I'd have liked when I reached out to pull Bella back to me and found an empty bed. Opening my eyes, I took in the

around my room, my clothes strewn across the room, one blanket, twisted and ruffled on the bed, all the others abandoned to the floor with my clothes from last night. At first I hoped Bella had escaped into the privacy of my bathroom, but her clothes were gone, which left me feeling panicky, anxious.

What was I thinking? Of course she had to ditch out. She had appearances to upholdat least until she could dump Garrett. But why hadn't she woken me up and said goodbye? It wasn't every night she lost her virginity. You'd think she'd be a little more considerate to the man who'd met the task head on. Shit, I'd been transformed into a freaking wuss from the single act of making love to Bella.

The alarm clock said it was 8:30 in the morning, which was probably a good time to get up. I just wished Bella was still with me and we could cuddle all morning, maybe make love againwe had two condoms left. Unfortunately, I did the one thing I didn't want to do after a night of

amazing sex with the most amazing girl. I left the confines of my room and ventured downstairs to the sounds of chatter and clanking dishes and pots in the kitchen.

"Good morning, Glory," my mom said, leaning up to kiss my mouth as I walked into the kitchen. Though I'd brushed my teeth, I pulled back from my mom, not wanting her to kiss me where Bella's juices had been dried around my lips and probably still smelled like her. I kissed her cheek instead and hugged her, looking up to Renee, who smiled cheerfully at us.

"Morning Mom," I said, pulling back from my mom and leaning down to kiss Renee's cheek. "Morning, Renee." She blushed under her tan and I chuckled, realizing where Bella got her beautiful skin.

"Everyone's in the dining room," my mom said with her back to me as she stood at the stove, flipping pancakes. "Do you want pancakes or eggs?"

"Both?"

"That's my boy. Now go."

Grabbing a piece of bacon, I dodged her swatting hand, and laughed my way into the dining room where the chatter was louder, Emmett's voice laughing over all the others.

"There he is now," Emmett said as I walked in, my smile falling as I took in Garrett's arm around the back of Bella's chair. "Man, we heard all the banging and grunting coming from your room last night, but what amazes me is the five condoms you stole from me. Five times, bro?" He looked up at me with appreciation and awe as everyone except me and Bellalaughed. "That's got to be a record for you."

"Shut up, Emmett," I mumbled, sitting down four seats away from Scarlett and her super hero. "I didn't steal your condoms. I slept alone last night."

"Sure you did."

"Well, I woke up aloneno one else was there," I said, my eyes darting over to gaze at Bella. It was an underhanded attack, but I wanted her to know how hurt I was that she'd left me like that. She frowned down to her hands, playing with her napkin, tearing it into confetti.

"Come on Edward, we're not stupid, I distinctly heard a girl moaning your name last night."

Bella's cheeks turned bright red and she refused to look in Emmett's or my direction.

"You could've been the one moaning my name, Emmett. You forget I know your tricks." Any doubt I could put in everyone else's mind about what had happened last night could only help.

"No, no, we heard you too. I couldn't hear her name, but it started with an 'S' or a"he looked from me to Rosalie, then over to Bella, and back at me, his eyes sharp, piercing mine in question"nah, I'm just yankin' your chain, dude. I only had fifteen condoms in my box last night."

Shit. He knew.

"Besides, who'd you be having sex with anyway? Your cousin Beth?"

Beth made a gagging sound, and when I looked up to smirk at her, she was smiling wickedly at meshe knew too. Great.

My mom saved me, bringing my plate of food in and as I ate, I looked around the table, trying to gauge everyone's reactions to Emmett's lack of tact. Alice and Jasper seemed unconcerned, huddled in hushed whispers, while Jess and Mike argued about somethingtrouble in paradise? Rosalie looked suspicious, but I didn't think she actually caught on to me being with Bella, and that was probably only because Bella wasn't the type to cheat on her boyfriend. Kate sat laughing at Emmett, her attention drawn to Bella and Garrett quite often, and I wondered if she'd caught on to Emmett's epiphany.

Bella was the first one out of her chair, grabbing dishes and trash, making numerous trips to the

kitchen to clear the table. All the other ladies joined her, leaving the men sitting at the table, the feel of a bad blind date surrounding us as we stared at each other in an awkward, uncomfortable silence.

Garrett excused himself first, letting us know he was going to pack. Bella had ridden with her parents, but I wondered if she would leave with him. Wanting to find some time with Bella, I searched the kitchen, which was still only occupied by Renee and my mom, and then ventured up the stairs to the room Bella should've stayed in last night. The door was open.

Beth lay on one of the beds, her arm across her forehead. She looked up at me when I knocked on the door frame and groaned. "What do you want?"

"Rough night?"

"Your friend is pure evil. Who knew lawyers were able to let loose and have fun."

Chuckling, I took a step into the room. "You hanging around?"

"No. Unfortunately not. Your bright and cheerful sister is dragging me out shopping."

"Better you than me."

"Mmhmm."

She closed her eyes again, her breathing heavy and deep. Bella's stuff lay on the other bed. She hadn't finished packing at least.

"You're still here?" Beth asked.

"Oh, yeah, I was hoping to catch Bella before she left." "She's in the shower. I'll tell her you're looking for her when she gets out."

"Cool. Thanks, Beth."

About a half hour later, after I'd showered, shaved, and threw my sheets in the washer, I took one

step into the foyer, halting immediately in the shadows behind the stairs as I caught Bella and Garrett together. I couldn't hear what was being said, but they hugged and then kissed, and as innocent and passionless as the kiss was, rage burned inside me. After what Bella and I'd done last night, she was more mine than his. He may have the title, but I had everything else, including her heartof that I was sure.

Or was I?

"I'll call you later," Bella said. Garrett then opened the door and stepped out, leaving Bella to stare out the window at him.

Stepping out from the shadows, I cleared my throat and walked up to Bella, who turned to look at me. A beautiful, red blush instantly rose in her cheeks as she watched my approach, the skin between her eyebrows puckering up.

"You left me," I said, stopping in front of her.

"Edward, Ican we talk about this another time?" Her eyes darted over my shoulder, then back at me.

"Didn't last night mean anything to you?"

"Edward"

"All set to go, Bella?" Alice said, gliding into the foyer, her overnight bag and purse in her hands.

Bella frowned up at me, frustration and desperation seeping through her eyes. "Please?" she whispered as Alice continued to babble on about some store. "Later, okay?"

"Is that okay, Bella?" Alice asked, stopping to look at the two of us, her mind calculating something in her head, as it was known to do when she was confused.

"Um, what was that?" Bella's face burned red.

"We're running late this morning, so I thought we'd skip the mall, and go straight downtown instead. I really wanted to make it to Macy's today and then we can stroll around and head over to Pikes Place for a late lunch?" Alice's lips turned down as she watched Bella. "Is that okay with you? Otherwise, we wouldn't make it to the downtown Macy's until after dinnertime and" "That's fine, Alice, you know I'm only along for the ride."

Little Half-pint couldn't hold back the squeal that emerged. "Oh, thank you. The Macy's at the mall here has a horrible shoe department."

Laughing, Bella smiled at Alice and shook her head before turning to me. Her smile lingered as she met my gaze, her eyes sparkling. "Your sister is determined to show her gratitude for her party via persecution." She giggled when Alice mumbled expletives at her. "At the end of the day, I'll have a new pair of torturous heels."

"Are you two ready?" Rose asked, hurrying into the foyer with Beth. "I've been sitting in the

game room waiting for you and poor Beth was wandering the halls."

"No," I said, noticing the smear of red lipstick at the corner of Rose's lips, "you've been making out with Emmett in the game room."

"Who was making out in the game room?" Jess asked with a wicked gleam in her eyes, rushing to put her coat on as she entered the now tight-knit foyer.

Rose huffed and Bella giggled, leaving Alice to usher her friends out the door.

"All right, out," Half-pint said, winking at me as she passed by.

Alice and Rose left first, the other girls behind them, and Bella last, hesitating toward the door before turning one last time to shrug her shoulders over to me. "I'll talk to you later?"

I wanted to pull her into my arms and kiss her goodbye, to tell hertell her things I wasn't sure I

had any right to tell her. I couldn't announce my love for her when she was still involved with Garrett. It wasn't like she was showing any assertiveness in ending things with him, and there was no indication she planned to.

"Yeah. Later." Placing my hands in my jeans pockets, I watched her slip out the door and scurry over to Alice's car, laughing and joking with her friends.

Down in the game room, I sat and watched Emmett, Jasper, Kate, and Mike play the Wii. Charlie and Renee came down to say goodbye, and as they left, I got up to clean the mounds and pyramids of empties strewn around the room. Jasper and Kate excused themselves to pack and with a look of unease, Mike babbled about something before leaving me and Emmett alone.

"So, you and Bella, eh?"

"She's not up for discussion. Last night is definitely not up for discussion either."

"Dude, you just spent the night with her and five condoms, right next door to her boyfriend. Do you not think he heard the two of you too?" "Emmett"

"Listen, I'm cool with you and Bella. Hell, I've been watching and cheering you on for the past few months, but going behind Garrett's back"

"We didn't plan on it, Em, it just happened."

"How long?"

"Just last night."

"I hope you know what you're doing."

Without looking at him, I grunted, not wanting to get into a conversation about something I had no idea about myself.

"If you hurt her"

"If I hurt her?" I asked, turning to face him. "I'm the one who's going to end up hurt, Emmett."

"You really care about her." He looked at me, his lips turned down into a frown.

"I just don't know how she feels about meif she feels about me that way at all."

"And Garrett?"

"I don't know. I thought last night meant something, but she snuck out of my room and right into his arms first thing this morning."

"She wasn't drunk last night, was she?"

Snapping my head in his direction, I glared at him, pissed he'd even think I'd take advantage of her like that. "I wouldn't do that to her."

"It's a valid question," he said, holding his hands up in defense. "Rose said she's not supposed to

drink because of her medication, and I don't remember seeing her drink anything, but if she had, maybe it affected her differently? Maybe she wasn't drunk, but a bit loopy or disoriented from the affects of the alcohol with the drugs?"

"She was completely sober." Or was she? What if Emmett was right? What if Bella had drunk something and wasn't in the right frame of mind to make such a drastic decision as losing her virginity?

"Think about it," he said with a frown, "she's hated you since you first met her, she has a boyfriend whom she was still cozying up to this morning, and she has avoided you all day." What if he was right? What if I'd taken advantage of her? God, she must hate me.

Shortly after cleaning up the game room, we all left my parents' house and headed back into Seattle. I called Bella and left a message when I got her voicemail. Emmett talked to Rosalie, so I knew they were still out shopping with Alice. When Rosalie came to our apartment later that

evening, I called Bella again, leaving another voicemail, and eventually a text message asking her to call me.

Moments after my text, I received a text from her.

I need some time.

The same four words she texted me after our first kiss. She didn't speak to me for days after that, and I was sure she still wouldn't have gotten back to me if it weren't for her being at my house for Christmas. How long would this bout of silence between us last? Especially since there was nothing coming up that would force her to talk to me?

Chapter Twenty-Three Guideline 39

Guideline 39: How many stories do I have to hear about friendships that dissolve due to a romantic mingling? It's plain and simple; don't date friends.

The changes I'd made so far in my life curled around my limbs, adhering themselves to me like a new skinI liked them. Now I only had the unpleasantness of dealing with the one issue I couldn't let go untaken care of. Actually, there were two issues I needed to deal with, but right now, as I paced outside Garrett's favorite steak restaurant, I only focused on one of them.

"Hey, Bella," Garrett said, wrapping his arms around me. His adorable smile showed off his perfect white teeth and my heart tore, just a little rip, but it was definitely on its way to breaking.

While Garrett ate and talked, I played with my food, my stomach turning over and over as I reviewed my pre-scripted words. If there were ever a time I felt so nervous that I could puke, it was now.

"Is everything okay?" he asked, a piece of steak half-way to his opened mouth.

"Um, yeahno" I looked away, at the door, wishing I could just drop a note and walk away. Of all the times I'd broken things off with someone, I'd never been so attached before. Well, Marcus, but I was so mad at him at the time, it was incredibly easy. Most of the time I broke things off before getting involved and that was much easier. Thisthis was hard.

"Yeah? No? Which is it?" His lips curled up into amusement on the sides and another tear ripped my heart further open. "Um" I cleared my throat, took a sip of my coke, and then looked at Garrett. Panic set in. "I justI"

"Bella, are you okay? Do you feel well? Should I take you home?"

"No," I said, my head shaking back and forth. "I'm fine. Really. I just need to talk to you aboutsomething."

"Something?" He took his napkin from his lap, placed it next to his plate on the table, and

frowned at me. "This doesn't sound good."

"No, it's not goodit's" What was it? Why couldn't I get it out? He hadn't done anything wrong; he'd met every single one of my guidelines. It was just thathe was sothere was no "Passion," I said, stunning us both with the force with which it was said. "We're missing passion."

"Bella, you and I both know that relationships are built on things other than sex"

"That's not what I'm talking about, and you know it, Garrett. This has nothing to do with sex. It has to do with" Why wouldn't the words come to me? Maybe because I was a wretched coward and a cheater.

"Is this about Edward?"

"What?" I tried to look insulted, but I knew guilt was what covered my face.

"That's it," he said, his lips drawn out into a tight, white line. "You were the one with Edward the other night."

"I didn't mean"

"We do a lot of things we don't mean, Bella; it doesn't mean they hurt others any less."

"I'm sorry, Garrett. I really am. I never planned on falling in love with him." Just being able to say those words out loud had my heart mending as I sat and looked at the man whose heart I was breaking into little bitty pieces. Those two small tears were almost sealed up tight, my thoughts of Edward threading stitch after stitch, fusing my pounding organ back together until Garrett spoke again.

"Love? God, Bella, Edward isn't the type of guy a high quality girl like you falls for. You're nothing more to him than his next conquesthis next fuck." His harsh words ripped open the threads I fought to hold together, the tear lengthening from the realization that Garrett was right;

Edward hadn't offered me any promises for a future or words of love.

That's not why I was doing this though. This wasn't about Edward or what I hoped I could have with Edward. This was about me and Garrett and even if nothing panned out between Edward and I, I still couldn't continue on with Garrettit wouldn't be right to string him along any further.

"This isn't about Edward, this is about us, and I just don't see a future with you. I'm sorry."

"God" Garrett closed his eyes shut, his thumb and finger of his right hand pressing in on them, before opening them up again and examining me. "and to think I thought I'd finally found the one. I mean" He cocked his head to the side, slowly shaking it back and forth, as if disappointed in me. Hell, he should be disappointed in me. I'd done the one thing I swore I'd never do, the lowliest thing a person could do to another; I cheated on him. He chuckled lightly,

his lips lifting into a sarcastic quirk. "Do you want to know the real reason I haven'tyou know"he leaned forward and lowered his voice to a whisper"had sex?" He didn't let me respond before he started talking again. "I have this list," he said, leaning back against his chair. "I wanted to find a nice, upstanding, virginalor close to virginal, in this day and agegirl that my Momma would be proud of. The thing is, girls like the one in my mind don't exist."

"You have a list?"

"I guess I would've found a reason to break up with you eventually, but no one had made it as far as youno one else has ever even come close."

"Close to what? What list?" Though this all sounded reminiscent of my guidelines, I was still confused, and if truth be told, freaked out that he had a list.

"It's nothing"

"No, Garrett, tell me."

"My Momma used to tear down every girl I'd bring home. They were too short, too tall, too thin, had blonde hair, had red hair, talked too much, didn't talk enoughshe's extremely picky."

"Your mom made a list of girlfriend traits for you to follow?"

"No, she'd never do that, but after a while I started looking for girls that would make Momma happy."

"What about you? What do you want?"

His eyes glazed over and I could tell he was in a different world. Thinking about someone maybe? Someone he loved, or someone he'd just met?

"Garrett, I have something to tell you too."

After explaining to him my list of guidelines, omitting the why's of it all, he leaned back and stared at me. I wasn't sure how he'd react; Edward was the only manbesides Emmettthat

knew about my rules. "What kind of rules are on your list?" Garrett asked and we got into a conversation about the similarities and differences between our lists. This was one of the reasons I liked Garrett so much; he was easy to talk to, fun to hang around, and he made me laugh. But that wasn't reason enough to string him along.

"So, how many men ever made it as far as me?"

"No one. You're the only guy who ever made it past a fifth date; one of four who made it past a third. Listen, what I'm trying to get at is that I know what it's like to haverules set in place and the addiction to follow them, thinking if only you could find the one person that meets all your criteria, then you'll fall in love and live happily ever after."

"But?"

"But I was wrongwe're both wrong. It took Edward to show me how stupid it is to try and force love and deny passion."

"I'm not looking for sex, Bella, I'm looking for"

"I know what you're looking for and passion is not sex. Passion is enthusiasm. It's this crazy feelingthe sparkthat lights a fire within youit's more than anything we've had together, Garrett. We don't have passion."

"But you and Edward"

"Yes, me and Edward."

"It feels weird saying this, but in a way I feel relieved." He smiled warmly. "I enjoy your company and our conversations, but I know what you mean about the spark not being there. I thought with time it would grow, but"

"But it hasn't?"

"Right."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure. Anything."

"Will you call Kate and ask her on a date?"

"Ooh, I don't think I can do that."

"Why not?" "She's got strawberry blonde hair, she's too tall, wears opentoed shoes"

"You definitely would've broken things off with me eventually," I said with a laugh. "I wear open-toed shoes in the summer."

He laughed. "I guess we just weren't meant to be then, were we?"

"No, but I saw something in you the other night. Every time you spoke to or mentioned Kate"

"Bella, my Momma wouldn't like her at all."

"She won't be dating your Momma, Garrett, she'll be dating you. Besides, you never know. Maybe all the pesky irritations that bothered your mom before were because you never brought someone home that you were passionate about. Maybe it was her way of letting you know you hadn't found the right one yet."

"I don't know"

"I'll get you an autographed copy of Isaiah Strong's next book."

"You can do that?"

"I can definitely do it. He's an acquaintance in a round-about, sort of way. You go on a date with Kate and I'll get it for you."

"Promise?"

"Promise. But I want detailsbetter yet, no details, just let me know how it goes."

"Okay."

"And another thing, throw your rules away."

"I don't"

"There's nothing wrong with standards, Garrett, but we can't be too strict anymore. I think that's where we went wrong." A thought finally hit mesomething my mom used to always tell me. "You know, my mom used to always say, 'rules are meant to be broken.'."

"So, date Kate and break my rules. Anything I'm missing?"

"Have fun?"

"Got it. Now what about you? Is this thing between you and Edward serious?"

"I don't know. I mean, I would like it to be, but there's one more thing I need to do before I can be ready for him and I'm not so sure he's over his demons either."

"If you ever need to talk"

"I appreciate it."

It was obvious that Emmett knew about me and Edward. He was in mine and Rose's apartment when I returned from my dinner with Garrett, and the look he gave me ripped my sewn-up heart even further.

Emmett obviously thought I'd been on an actual date with Garrett. Who knows, maybe break-up dates do constitute an actual date? Either way, it was over between Garrett and I and I was free to go forward. Only, I had one more thing to do before doing so. After avoiding Emmett's questions about my evening, I went into my room and looked over the remaining guidelinesrulesin my notebook. The majority of them were there for safety purposes and I had no intention of crossing them out, but would I need them written down as a list in a notebook? Most of them were pretty much common sensethings I should just know to do. Like my rule about not letting a guy pick

me up at my place until I'd gotten to know him. That made sense. Of course, I wouldn't need that rule with Edward. Not only did I already know him, but he lived upstairs from me. With my magic, black Sharpie, I started crossing off more guiderules, each line somehow making it easier for me to breathe.

Plunking my notebook on the nightstand, I then grabbed my laptop. I logged in and did a quick search on Facebook. It didn't take long for me to find who I was looking for and to read their bio, getting the information I needed. With my lights out, I held my phone in my hand, wishing I could call Edward, needing to call Edward, but unable to do so yet. There was still one matter I needed to take care of.

The moon descended, the sun rose, and I woke up on Tuesday morning, anxious yet freaked out. I had a plan. A good plan. The problem was, I was chickening out.

After breakfast I made the dreaded phone call that kept my sleep restless last night. It was short

and to the point, but I got off the phone within minutes. It felt like I had tiny little bugs swarming inside my stomach as it twisted into knots while I wrote up a formal letter of resignation to give to Edward. I didn't know if he'd figured out that I was Isaiah Strong yet or not, but that didn't matter. I was still quitting the law firm and was going to be a full-time writer and then maybe I could get more than one book out a year.

Right after lunch, I left my apartment and drove to a set of townhomes, looking for number 2461, anxiously swallowing the lump of dread that kept forming in my throat. This wasn't as easy as I'd imagined it being, but I was doing it. Worst case scenario, I knock on the door and run, but I was going to knock on the door. That was my short-term goal. After that, we'd see where I was ledI could very well hide tail and run.

The townhome wasn't hard to find and I hesitated for a moment as I thought of my dinner with Garrett last night. I could do this. If Garrett could go on a date with Kate, I could do this. Damn, Garrett had his mother to

answer to. I had no one hovering over my shoulder. I could do this. I would do this. The knock was faint and unheard, so I had to knock a second time, louder, stronger.

Within seconds, Mary Tierney opened the door with a huge, welcoming smile.

"I'm so glad you decided to call," she said, ushering me inside. "Marcus is having a good day today. It couldn't be a more perfect time for you to visit."

I'd held it together in front of Marcus, but as I drove back to my apartment, I finally lost it. Years later, I was now reliving the dirty, disgusting feeling all over again. The sickening shame churning in my stomach, the inability to breathe, the fight to keep my head above my shoulders for fear of not being able to hold it up again if I let it fall. I needednormally it was the girls I ran too, but right now, the only thing I needed was Edward. I wanted him to hold me.

With my one-track mind, I went directly to Edward's apartment and banged on the door, hoping he was home. It was probably too early, I wasn't sure. I banged again.

"Bella?" Emmett asked as he opened the door, his arms immediately pulling me to him, holding me. "Rosie!"

"What is it?" Rose asked.

Everything was a blur to me as I let the two of them pull me to the couch, Rose's arms around me, ordering Emmett for a glass of water and to call Alice.

"Edward," I muttered through sobs, wanting them to get him for me.

"Edward? What the fuck did he do to you?" Rose asked.

"No, Edward didn'tMarcus. I went to see Marcus."

There were a few expletives between "shit" and "fuck" that I didn't quite recognize, but Rose

then left me alone on the couch, whispering to Emmett about something before his arms were back around me.

"Bella, you need to stop crying and tell us what happened to you. Do you need me to do something for you? Edward's out right now." He kissed the top of my head before whispering, "Do you want me to call him?"

I shook my head, not wanting to bother Edward if he was busy working. Maybe coming here was a bad idea. Maybe I should've called him myself. Maybe I should've gone straight home to bed.

"Bella, please tell us what's wrong. We can't help you if you don't tell us what's going on."

"I need," I said through hiccups, "I need" But it didn't matter what I needed. Edward wasn't home and I wasn't about to interrupt him for something as stupid and mundane as a pathetic freak-out session. Besides, I didn't want to scare him away.

"Let's take her down to my place," Rose said, instructing Emmett to lift me. "Alice and Jess are on their way over and Angela said she'd get there as soon as she can."

"What? I don't need"

"I don't care what you think you need," she said, leaning in to kiss my forehead. "We can sit around and bash Marcus all night for all I care, but you are going to sit and talk to us, Bella. It's not normal for you to freak out and cry like this. You're going to tell us everything that was said between you and Marcus."

"Stupid Marcus," I said, realizing what a tool I'd been the past few years. Was all this really worth it? Hadn't I let my past with him rule my life long enough? "Put me down." I wiped at my eyes and dried them up, determined to be strong.

"Just wait until we get"

"No. Put me down. You're right; I'm not going to let that asshole have this effect on me anymore."

Emmett lowered me to the ground and I straightened out my clothes. "Do we have enough liquor?" I asked.

"Jess is bringing some over and I grabbed Edward's Cognac."

"Emmet, do you mind staying here? I'd like to be alone with the girls." I looked up at Rose and then back at Emmett.

"Um,"He looked over at Rose"sure. But if you need anything"

"We won't hesitate to call."

Rose was right. I needed to vent to the girls and get it all out. I'd much rather spend my evening in Edward's arms, but this would be good for me. It would be therapeutic. And tomorrow I'd go see Edward. Just the idea of seeing him again lifted my spirits.

"Here, give me that," I said, pulling the bottle of Cognac from Rosalie's hands. She'd confiscated it from Edward's apartment and as much as I knew he'd probably be pissed, I also wanted to feel closer to him. I poured myself a couple fingers worth, took a hesitant sip, coughing at the burn in my throat, and then gave the bottle back to Rose.

"Bella, sit," Alice said, grabbing my hand and pulling me to my chair. "Rose said you were crying and mumbling about nonsense and here we find you drinking and ready to go postal all over Seattle. What the hell happened?" "I didn't say she was mumbling incoherently, I told you she went to see Marcus."

"Then you were the one mumbling," Alice retorted and Jess started laughing while Angela sat, frowning at the four of us.

"I feel great. Really."

"Liar," Rose said, sitting on the floor by my feet. "I hadn't seen you cry that much since our sophomore year of college after Marcus"

"and since this has something to do with Marcus," Ang said, bringing us back to topic, "why don't you tell us what happened?"

"I went to see him."

"We already know that," Jess said, leaning forward in her seat. "Why did you go see him? And what did he say to piss you off."

"I'm not pissed."

"Oh yes you are. I've never seen you this determined, even when it has come to him." Jess took a sip of her drink, playing catch-up to my already tingling buzz.

"Fine, I'm pissed. I have every right to be."

"What the hell happened?" Rose asked.

I began to tell them about meeting Mary Tierney in the restaurant. I left out the part of Edward and I being there together, telling the story as if I were alone, or maybe they assumed I was with Garrett. Either way, I didn't bring Edward up. If I had, I'm sure they all would've suspected that it was me with him on Christmas.

"So you went to see Marcus because he wanted to see you," Ang stated, trying to scrunch my long, drawn out rambling into one sentence.

"Yes and no. I didn't want to at first. I even left both their numbers on the table. It's just thatsee, I broke up with Garrett yesterday."

"What?

"Why didn't you say so?"

"It's about time"

The last was said by Rosalie, who apparently didn't like GarrettI never knew. The only one who didn't respond was Angela, who sat and watched. It was a bit unnerving, having her stare at me the way she was, but that was just how she always was. She was a watcher, always taking everything in and evaluating it before reacting.

"I don't want to get into any details, but he didn't break any guidelines, he justhe was kind of like a brother more than a boyfriend."

"Kind of?" Rose asked and I saw Alice hit her, her expression telling Rose to keep her trap shut.

"So I broke things off with Garrett and decided to put Marcus in my past as well. I can't date anyone else with his shadow lurking behind me all the time. Know what I mean?"

No one answered, but all four of their heads nodded. They knew all too wellthey'd lived through my inability to get over Marcus.

"Thing is, Marcus told me some things I never really knewwell, maybe it was more that I refused to acknowledge."

No one said anything or even drank. My four best friends sat, waiting for me to reveal whatever it was that had made me upset this evening. Not even Alice interruptedwhich was rare.

"I went there to tell him that I forgive him for the lying and cheating and every bad word said between us after the whole mess, but before I could even get to that point, he hit me withshit, he apologized for raping me."

"What the fuck?"

"Oh, Bella, no!"

"Why didn't you say something?"

"Please, God, no."

Not only did they all talk at once, but they all managed to move at the same time. Rose had jumped up and leaned over me, looking as if she were about to engulf me in a large, painful hug, but she held back for some reason. Angela was at my side, her hand touching my shoulder and I could see her lips movingshe was praying. Jess paced back and forth, her head shaking, tears dripping from her eyes and I wondered if she'd been raped before. Alice clutched my legs, holding onto them as she murmured over and over again how much she loved me and how precious I was to her. Alice alone brought tears to my eyes, but seeing how all four of them reacted forced those tears to drip down my cheeks.

"No, no, you don't understand. He didn't rape me, I never had sex with himwell, not sex, sex."

"Then how did he rape you?" Rose asked, her wet eyes turned down in confusion. "He didn't rape me. At first, when he apologized, I thought he had the wrong person, or was confused from his medication about what had happened between us, so I questioned him and he

changed his wording to sexual assault."

"What the hell happened?" Rose asked, sitting back down, this time on the coffee table so that she was almost eye level with me. "What did he do?"

Most of my memories of being with Marcus were muddled with guilt and shame, and as much as I wanted to let it all out, it just wasn't me. They didn't need the burden of all the details weighing them down. "I'm not going to get into details about it, but there was a lot of coercion and guilt-tripping on his partI'm not even sure I remember a lot of the details myself, buthe made me feel dirty."

"He forced you?"

"I don't know," I said, looking at Jess. "I guess, looking back, maybe it could be construed that way, but I don't know."

"Why didn't you tell us this?" Alice asked, crying. "We could've helped you file a report. We

would've been there for you."

"I'm sorry," I said, shaking my head back and forth. I shouldn't have even told them this much. Imagine what would've happened had I given them every gory detail. They would've agonized over it and blamed themselves. "I shouldn't say anymore"

"No, you need to tell us everything," Jess said, taking my glass and filling it to the rim with Edward's Cognac. My heart leapt at the thought of drinking his liquor. Was I totally screwed up because I got excited over this simple, stupid intimacy? Shit, we stole his Cognac. He was going to be pissed when he found his bottle missing.

After a huge sip that burned down my throat, I took a moment to let the warmth of the Cognac travel down to my arms and stomach, over my hips, my thighs, down my legs, and into my toes.

"I've forgiven the bastard"

"You what?" all four women asked at onceeven Angela, which shocked me.

"I've forgiven him and that's that. I just need to get over all this before I" Shit, I almost mentioned Edward. I couldn't do that. Not yet. He had a right to know my feelings for him before I blurted it out to all our friendsespecially his sister. But Lord, I really wanted to tell them about our kiss and making love with him. To be able to share with someone else just how wonderful and amazing he is would've made my day right now.

"Bella, you okay?"

"Yeah, fine. Emotionally drained, I guess." I smiled, hoping they bought the lie. "Bella?" Angela asked.

We all looked at her, my eyes expectant, inviting her to ask whatever was on her mind.

"Was this a one-time thing or wasdid he continually do this to you?"

"Continually," I said with a questioning shrug, unsure because I still had a hard time classifying it as something I was forced to do. "I wouldn't have sex with him and so he used to guilt me into doing things to him, and if that didn't work, he'd get me drunk and, wellAnyway, he would tell me that if I didn't do certain things for him, he'd find someone else who would." I searched their eyes, seeing exactly how they felt about what I'd said. "I know I was stupid, okay, but I gave in and did it. Yes, he was going out and sleeping with other girls anyway, but I didn't know that at the time. I thought he loved me; I thought I loved him. I thought that I was just being a prude and that I'd get used to doing it. In a way, I did. I mean, it got easier. And then I thought that if I gave in and had sex with him, then maybe he'd treat me better and I'd get some pleasure too."

Rosalie, Alice, and Jess's eyes bugged out of their heads. Alice's hand clamped hard over her mouth, keeping herself from interrupting me. Angela just looked at me with a sad expression on her face and I could see her lips still moving slightly.

I grimaced. "I always considered myself to be easy, a slut. That's why I never shared any of this with you. I thought I was some sick and twisted person for allowing him to do things to me. I was embarrassed by my behavior, and I thought you all wouldn't like me if you knew." I looked over at Angela, hoping she wouldn't judge me.

"Nothing in mine and Marcus's sexual relationship was easy or fun, or even natural. Everything was one-sided and made me feel gross. I thought something was wrong with me for the longest time."

"Hence the rules," Alice murmured and I nodded my head, a lone tear escaping down my cheek, dripping onto my shirt.

"My guidelines did the job they were meant to dothey kept me away from men."

"Have you ever had an orgasm? By a man, not your own hand?"

My cheeks inflamed from her question. "Yes."

"Who?"

"I'm not saying anything about that. Maybe someday, but not today, okay?"

"Why"

"No 'why' questions," I said, interrupting Alice. "What happened happened. Period. I always viewed myself as being a failure in not pleasing him. He always humiliated me, making me feel dirty and nasty. I thought something was wrong with me because I didn't enjoy it, but that if we had sex, then everything would change and be perfect." My lips turned up into a sardonic smirk. "He told me today that he's still haunted by the look in my eyes when he'dwell, he always viewed what happened between us as something different than I do, but I don't ever remember telling him no."

Everyone continued to stare at me, no one making any move to say or ask anymore questions.

"It's over with though, okay? I feel so much better having revealed this whole mess to you guys. I want to get past this. I need to get past this."

"What can we do to help you?" Angela asked

Shrugging my shoulders, I smiled. "You're doing it now. I feel even better after telling you guys everything. All I know is that I had to forgive him and nowwell, I'm excited to get on with my life." I was excited to talk to Edward; to tell him how I feel. I had no idea how I was going to do that yet, but I'd figure it out.

At the end of the night I lay in bed, wishing the room would stop turning, cursing Edward's Cognac and wishing above anything else I could run upstairs and see himjust as Rose had ran to see Emmett as soon as she tucked me into bed. With my hand clasped around my cell phone, I contemplated calling Edward, but what would I say to him? I was drunk and emotionalI

needed to wait until tomorrow as I'd originally planned. When I was sober and he had time to talk. He was probably sleeping right now anyway considering he had to be up early for work. With determination to see him directly after work tomorrow, I turned to my side and closed my eyes, letting the waves of nausea and the spinning of my head take over. It would be a long, rough night, but tomorrow would be a new day.

Chapter Twenty-Four Guildeline 2

Guideline 2: Always say no to a man who asks for a date within two days of the event.

"Edward?" Jane said though the intercom. "Do you want to grab lunch?"

"No thanks, not today."

"Would you like me to pick something up for you?"

"No, I'm good."

But I wasn't good. I was falling apart. Yesterday after work I'd made the stupid decision to go out with Kurt. When he came to pick me up at the office, he invited Jane to come with us. From what I noticed, he had every intention of getting with her, but she had other ideas, apparently. Nothing happened between us, but it took many hours of avoidance and a lot of listening to Jane lay her feelings out before me and then me apologizing for making her think I thought more for her than I do before I could call it a night and get to bed. Now I sat here, tired, pissed off, and not wanting to interact with her at all.

On top of it, when I did get home last night, Emmett was in bed but he'd left me a note telling me to remind him to talk to me tomorrow, which was today. He left the apartment before me this morning and had been stuck in meetings since I arrived in the office. I hadn't had an opportunity to see him yet.

"Edward?" Jane said through the intercom again.

"Yes?"

"I just answered another one of those calls."

Lauren hadn't stopped calling the office since she found out we had a new Administrative Assistant, which she probably found out from her father, of all people, since he called here about twice a week, begging me to talk to her.

"I'm sorry about that, Jane. Just continue to let me know when they come in."

Right as I let go of the intercom button, my cell phone vibrated in my pocket. I'd turned off all ringers for Lauren, so as not to raise suspicion when I didn't answer my phone. I waited a few seconds letting the call go to voicemail and then continued on with my work.

At the click of every hour I did the same thing I'd done every hour since the day after

Christmaschecked my phone. How long was Bella going to make me wait? How much room did I need to give her? Maybe now was a good time to have some sort of dating rules. Like, how does someone know how much room is too much or not enough? When you're asked to give someone time, how much time do you give them?

Luckily, Google was at my fingertips. Scary enough, there was a lot of information about the subject on the internet. I learned that yes, Bella was right in asking for time alone if she needed it, but I also read a lot of opinions from people that said the person taking time away shouldn't neglect the other person's needs. Were we even in a type of relationship that gave my needs any precedence? Yes. In my mind we were. But what were my needs? All I wanted was to talk to Bella, to spend more time with her, to let her know how I felt about her.

This was stupid. There had to be a good reason why she hadn't called me. Was Emmett right? Had I taken advantage of her? Thinking back, I didn't recall her ever telling me she wanted me to

continue. She kissed me and then one thing led to another What if she was under the effect of her medication mixed with alcohol, as Emmett had suggested? What if

"Edward, Aro Volturi is on line one." "Thanks," I mumbled before picking up the phone. "Hey, Aro."

"Edward. How was your Christmas?"

"Good and yours?"

"Exciting. We had all the grandkids at our house this year. We wish you could've been there."

Grandkids. Right. Not a conversation I wanted to get into. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"You can answer my daughter's calls."

"Aro"

"Now you listen here, Edward. I don't pretend to understand everything that has gone on between you two, but you owe her some time to try and deal with this. She's been through a hell of a lot of emotional turbulence this last month and I worry about her. I worry about"

"She wouldn't do anything, would she?"

"I just don't know anymore, Edward. Sometimes we're afraid to leave her alone"

"Can't you get her some help?"

"All she wants is to talk to you. Can't you allow her a few minutes of your time?"

This was the one unknown factor in my lifethe only thing that could ever come between me and Bella and I wanted nothing more than to neutralize it her; Lauren. How could one stupid night of drunkenness turn into the terror this girl continued to put me through? She didn't want to just talk. She would cry over the phone and tell me how much she loves me and misses me and

how she'd do anything to have me back. I moved 2,400 miles across the country to get away from her and it still wasn't far enough.

"You know," I said to Aro, "you still haven't given me that apology you owe me."

"And I never will."

"And I'll never call Lauren."

"Edward"

"I'm sorry Aro, but some of us have work to do." I hung up the phone and leaned back in my desk chair, placing my hands over my face. My mom always used that horrible clich expression, "When it rains, it pours," and nothing could be closer to the truth.

Bella wouldn't talk to me. Hell, she was probably sitting in her room throwing darts at my ugly mug for what had happened between us. Our Administrative Assistant made a pass at me and

now our relationship was strained. And finally, Lauren just wouldn't go away.

Picking up my cell phone, I called my voicemail and immediately hit 3-3-7, deleting Lauren's message without even listening to it. It would be another rambling of her crying and begging me to come back to Boston, taking up the full length of the message. Who could talk for all those minutes to no one? I mean, seriously, sometimes she'd ask a question and then answer it herself inside the messagewhy even call me?

By the time I made it home, I was tired, hungry, and pissed off with all the women who'd plagued me throughout the day. Lauren, Jane, Bellawhy did a guy need enemies when God had created women? I made a sandwich in the kitchen, and then brought it back to my room so I wouldn't have to be around Rose. Like clock-work, she arrived five minutes after Emmett and I walked through the door every evening.

When I heard a knock on the front door, I ignored it, raising the volume on my iPod dock so I

could drown out the constant reminder that Bella still hadn't called. I liked Rose, I really did, but seeing her and hearing her talk about Bella only reinforced the fact that I was lonely, which is one of the reasons I agreed to go out with Kurt last night again, big mistake.

The pounding on my door that came next only pissed me off further and when I yelled for Emmett to go away, he pounded harder, demanding that I open up. The guy was the greatestreally, he wasbut he was so used to intruding into the lives of his brothers without a second thought to their privacy that he did it to me too. Considering we were as close as two men could get without being sexually involved, I should be more understanding.

"What?" I asked as I swung the door open, frowning.

"You have a visitor." The stupid expression on his face scared me. All I kept thinking was that Lauren had flown to Seattle and showed up on my doorstep with a gun or some shit. Damn. I should've listened to her voicemail.

"Fuck, Emmett, just tell them to go away."

"You tell her."

My heart plummeted into my stomach. I hadn't really expected it to be Lauren, but now it seemed like I may have been right on target. No. It couldn't be. Emmett would never invite her into our apartment or even give me the option of seeing her. It had to be someone else. Fuck. Jane. Why did I attract all the crazies?

Mumbling curses under my breath, I plodded out to the living room in a white t-shirt, my work pants, and socks. I still hadn't finished my sandwich and I just wanted to be left alone. Who in their right mind bothers a man only minutes after he returns home from work?

I looked up when I entered the living room and froze. "Bella?" Everything inside me changed. I stood up straighter, recovered from the pissed-off

expression on my face and threw on a smile, uncrossed my arms, and tried to remember to breathe. "I'm sorry, I, umit's you."

"Who else would I be?"

My eyes wandered from her face and noticed a notebook clutched underneath her crossed arms.

"No one, I just wasn't sure who it wasI couldn't figure out who ityoucould be."

"Oh." She smiled, looking down at the floor between us.

I motioned over to the couch. "Would you like to sit?"

"Um" She shook her head, biting down on her bottom lip. "Listen. I've been doing a lot of thinkingthanks, by the way, I appreciate you giving me the time."

"No problem." That wasn't true. The past few days had been torture on my mind and heart but I wasn't going to let the woman in front of me know that.

Her shoulders relaxed and her eyes softly twinkled when she smiled. "Well, I wanted to come here and thank you for..." She huffed, closed her eyes and then opened them again. "for being honest with me and calling me out on my guidelines. Okay, rules. I get it now, I really do." She uncrossed her arms, one hand holding onto the notebook, the other playing with its fuzzy edges.

"I thought that by having theserules, I'd find a man I could have a full life with, but you were right. All they ever did for me was push men away. I'm done playing the games, Edward. I've gone over all my rules, front and back, making sure to make the right decision, analyzing each and every one, and I finally found what I was looking for; someone who meets all myneeds. I found him, Edward, and I'm in love with him."

The plummeting my heart had done earlier was no match for what happened as she said those words. The fact I was still able to stand was of no account of my own. Inside I was curled into a

ball on the floor, crying like a fucking baby. After everything we'd done, didn't any of it mean anything to her?

"Here," she said as her shaking hand held out her notebook to me.

Inside my head, words floated around, but nothing would come out. I couldn't move. Not my legs, not my arms, not even my mouth.

"Please just open it."

Refusing the notebook, I forced out the only polite reply I could muster. "I'm sure you and Garrett will be very happy." My jaw shook as I spoke. "Will you just shut up and read my rules?"

"I thought they were guidelines or standards."

"Just read them."

It wasn't her request, so much as the nervous pleading in her eyes that did me in. Grabbing the notebook, I opened it up and stared down at the pages I had become all too familiar with. What shocked me though were the thick, black lines sliced through every single one of her guidelines, crossing them off the paper, and hopefully out of her life. My heart did a back flip as I turned the page, anxious to see if she'd crossed off all her rules, and she had. She really got rid of them all. All except three new rules written at the bottom of the last page, and I held my breath as I read them.

1) True love exists. Trust your heart.

2) Always be open and honest with the man you love.

3) When in doubt, refer to rules 1 and 2.

"What?" I whispered, looking up at Bella, confused and hopeful, wanting nothing more than to take her in my arms, but unsure as to what her new rules meant for me.

She walked slowly toward me, her eyes fearful, yet determined and full offull of "I love you, Edward."

She said the words so softly, in a hushed whisper, that I wasn't sure if I heard her correctly. Did she actually just tell me that she loves me? My skipping heart radiated with energy and if it could've been translated into light, it would've blinded us both as I dropped the notebook to the floor and threw my arms around Bella, pulling her to me, my lips crashing against hers, claiming her with ravenous fervor. I loved this woman more than I knew what to do about it.

Her arms slid around my neck, one hand threading through the hair at my nape, pulling and pushing at the same time as her body attempted to sink into me, the silky caress of her tongue eagerly slipping inside my mouth, twirling and dancing with mine. This was where I was meant to be; holding the woman I loved. Kissing, caressing, and loving her. The kiss turned from the

crazy, passionate frenzy it started out as to a slow, lingering, loving kiss, each of us taking the time to savor the other, our tongues tangling languidly, tasting, needing, proclaiming, as my heart did flips inside me, chanting, "she loves you," with each rotation.

Pulling back, I leaned my forehead against hers, breathing in the much needed air, enjoying her scent surrounding me and her taste still in my mouth. "I love you too," I whispered, my arms holding her in a vice-like gripI didn't want to ever let her go.

Her hands cupped my cheeks, her eyes gazing into mine, and she smiled at me right before she brushed her lips against mine. Slowly, deliberately, making love to my mouth, igniting the growth of my heart as it swelled for her. This kiss was like a drug, turning my mind into mush, my head spinning, legs jelling into pools of goo, and I wondered if I'd ever feel normal again. Did I even want to feel normal? Hell, no; I wanted this for the rest of my life. My Scarlett completed memade me whole.

"Um," she mumbled, dragging her lips away from mine, her teeth biting down into her pink swollenness, "I was wondering if you wanted to grab a bite to eat?"

"Are you asking me on a date?" I asked, shocked from how husky my voice sounded.

"Kind of, I guessyes."

I leaned in to steal a quick, chaste kiss, and then pulled away, smirking down at her, my hands still gripping her hips. "How about we eat in?"

"Are you sure? I don't want to impose."

"You aren't imposing." Grabbing a hold of her hand, I pulled her toward the kitchen and left her with a kiss against the counter before opening the fridge and pulling out the stuff I needed.

"What're you doing?"

"Making you a sandwich."

"Edward, you don't need to do that."

"I know, Bella, but I want to."

She stood back, leaning against the counter where I left her, her eyes pinned on me.

"Who did you think I was?"

"What?" I asked.

"Earlier, when I arrived, you sounded surprised that it was me. Who did you think was here?" When I didn't answer, she whispered, "Lauren?"

Turning, I fixed my gaze on hers. "No. Well, yes, at first, but I decided Emmett wouldn't let her into our apartment, so I knew it wasn't her." There was still a lot she didn't know about Lauren, but I didn't want to go into all the details now. Not tonight. Tonight I wanted to enjoy her company and just be with her.

"Then who?"

"Bella" "Edward." She was so cute with her hands on her hips, her eyes trying their best to look serious, but I could see the elation in them. She was flying as high as me right now.

I turned back to her sandwich. "Jane."

"Jane your secretary?" She sounded confused.

"You remember Kurt, right? He came into the office a few times"

"Yeah, I remember him."

"Well, he invited me out yesterday and when he came to pick me up at the office, he invited Jane out too"

"So Jane's dating Kurt?"

"No. She wasn't interested in him." Her sandwich was ready, so I turned to look at her. "I spent half the night avoiding her advances and the other half explaining to her that I was in love with another woman and that there would never be anything between us."

"Oh."

"Nothing happened, Bella." I pulled her into my body, rubbing my hands up and down her back. "You're the only woman for me." I leaned down and kissed her gently, relishing in the sweet intensity that emitted from our union. There was something constantly bubbling under the surface of my skin whenever we touchedespecially when we kissed.

"I guess now wouldn't be a good time to give you my letter of resignation," she said, trying to resist a smirk, but failing miserably.

"Come on," I said after putting a coke in one of her hands, grabbing her sandwich in one of mine,

and her free hand in my other, pulling her to my bedroom, and onto my bed next to me. I wasn't ready to deal with her resignationwe'd talk about that later.

"You eat in your bed?" she asked, eyeing my half-eaten sandwich.

"When I've had a miserable day and I'm avoiding my roommate and his girlfriend, I do."

She waited to finish swallowing a bite of her sandwich before asking, "Why are you avoiding them?"

"Honestly?" I continued when she nodded. "Because they remind me of you."

Her eyebrows turned in, her lips cast down into a frown. "And I was the reason for your miserable day too?" "Part of it." She wouldn't meet my eyes, so I leaned forward, lifting her chin with a finger, and kissed her. "I'm not miserable now. Far from it."

Scarlett's smile returned along with a light blush. "Me too," she whispered.

When we both finished eating, I placed our plates on the bedside table, turned out the light, and pulled Bella down into my side. She laid her head on my chest, her hand rubbing circles over my skin, threading her fingers through the small patch of hair that peeked over the v-neckline of my shirt. Being with her like this was what I'd dreamt about so many times. Cuddling with Bella. Happy. Content.

"I'm sorry I didn't come see you sooner," she said into my chest. "I wanted to end things with Garrett first and"

"How'd that go?" I asked, annoyed with myself for interrupting, but it was too late.

"Okay, I guess." Nuzzling further into my side, she kissed my shirt, right over my heart. Then she leaned back, turning her head to look up at me. "We went out to dinner on Monday. I

probably shouldn't have done it in public, but I didn't want him at my place. I was afraid he'd run into you." She leaned in and kissed my lips, lingering a bit before pulling back.

My cell phone rang and I gave Bella an apologetic look before answering, knowing who it was by the ringer. "Hey Emmett."

"Everything okay up there?"

"Yeah, thanks for giving us some privacy."

Bella nuzzled her face in my neck, kissing and lightly biting at my skin.

"You want me to stay at Rose's tonight?"

Bella's head jolted up to look at me, her brown eyes sparkling, excited, as she bit down on her bottom lipshe could hear Emmett.

"If you wouldn't mind."

"Ask him if Rose knows about us."

"Not a problem."

Bella and Emmett spoke at the same time and I smiled up at my girl as Emmett continued talking, obviously having heard Bella. "Tell her that Rose doesn't have a clue and she better call her unless she wants Rose and the girls out searching for her." "Hear that?" I whispered to Bella.

"Tell him to keep us a secret."

"A secret?" My chest suddenly felt the weight of a buffalo sitting on it, crushing my heart.

"You haven't taken me out on a date yet." She kissed me then untangled herself from my arms to search for her phone. I heard her voice as she spoke to Rose, so I concentrated on Emmett, who was practically going crazy over the fact that Bella and I were together. Apparently, he'd just

found out from Rose that Bella had ended things with Garrett and from what he'd overheard from Bella just now, he was making fun of me for doing everything backwards.

"Oh yeah," I said, remembering the note he left me this morning. "You were supposed to tell me something today."

"Oh, um, I'm not suremaybe you should ask Bella about it."

"Ask Bella about what?"

"Ow! What the hell was that for Rosie?" There was a long pause and I looked up to see Bella shrug her shoulders at me. "I've got to go," Emmett finally said and we hung up.

Bella ended her call soon after and we got back into our warm, cozy nook on my bed, both of us lying on our sides, facing each other. I briefly kissed Bella, and then asked, "Would you like to stay the night?"

"I don't know. I don't want to jump into things too soon"

"I'll be a perfect gentleman. I just don't want to have to let you go right now."

"I don't want to leave you either," she whispered, leaning in to kiss me.

I loved how easy it was to be with her. How content I felt, how comfortable I was with her in my arms. Everything felt perfect.

"What are you doing tomorrow night?" I asked.

"Nothing. Can you believe I'm dateless on yet another New Years Eve?" She giggled.

"Shit, that's right, it's New Years Eve. Aren't we all going out to Midnight Sun?"

"Yeah, that's the plan."

"Would you let me take you out to dinner first? Otherwise, I don't know how much longer

Emmett can hold out. He's been dying to tell Rose about us since Christmas." "You know what I think?"

I leaned in to kiss her neck, sucking and biting a trail up to her ear. "Hmm?"

"I like us being a secret."

My head shot back. "Why?"

"God, don't look all offended," she said with a giggle. "I just think it will be fun to shock them."

"Why?" I traced my fingers over her cheek, down to her neck where it was still wet from my mouth.

"You're the last person they'd expect to see me with, Edward. Aren't you curious to see how they're all going to react when we walk into the bar together?"

"Oh," I said, my heart restarting, "I thought you were going to suggest we ignore each other all night."

"That's not a bad idea you've got there. We can go out to dinner together but go to the bar alone. You can try all your sappy pick-up lines on the barflies and I can sit around brooding all night. Then, at midnight, we start making out, shocking the shit out of all our friends."

I laughed, pulling Bella in for a kiss. "As much as I like my idea,"I rolled my eyes"I much rather spend the entire evening by your side."

"See, sappy. I may not have rules anymore, but you're going to have to work on the sap." She pinched my side and giggled as she leaned in, hungrily capturing my lips.

"Did you just call me sappy?" I pulled away, twisting, and flipping Bella over onto her back as I straddled her legs, holding her arms up over her head. She looked ravishingly beautiful. "You'll pay for that, Scarlett."

"Something tells me you're all talk."

I attacked.

Squeals of giggles could probably be heard three floors above and below my apartment as I tickled Bella into a breathless heap of pleading. "Please," she begged, twisting and turning, trying to get away from my probing fingers. "I'll do anything, I promise."

I stilled, looking down at her, giving her a reprieve. And then she attacked. One hand squeezed my skin above my knee, the other going for my side. I laughed as she fought to tickle me, her hands moving up and around my skin, looking for my weakness.

"What's wrong with you?" she asked, her hands coming to rest on my knees. Leaning down, I kissed her, rolling us over so we were both on our sides again. "I'm not ticklish," I whispered against her mouth before continuing the kiss. Our lips moved slowly

together, and I took the time to drink her in, every last ounce of her. She'd been a slow torture to me for weeks, and now that I had her, I planned on enjoying every moment we spent together.

As our hands and mouths explored each other, for me, it was all about pleasuring Bella, showing her exactly how much she meant to me. Every caress, every kiss, every bite and flick of my tongue was a declaration of love. We took our time, undressing each other, our hands and eyes surveying, our lips constantly whispering words of love to one another.

Christmas had been an exciting frenzy, and though we'd made love three times that night, nothing compared to this moment. Moving inside Bella, knowing she loved me, knowing Garrett wasn't stashed off in a corner somewhere, knowing she would wake up next to me, all of that made the act of loving my Scarlett so much sweeter. Every thrust was made with a look of longing at the amazing woman I loved, and she never once turned from my gaze, instead smiling

and turning red each time she moaned as her hips pushed up into mine.

As we both drew close to the eruption building up inside, gasps and words started spilling from my lips, "I love you," "I need you," "You're everything to me," seemed to be the only three phrases I knew, yet I meant every single one of themsappy or not. As our sweaty bodies collided, my thrusts turned savage, and Bella's walls clamped around me, pulling me over, into the sweet by and by, where I called out her name as my name came out as a cadence from her lips.

I held her naked body, covering her with my blankets, keeping her warm, wishing this one moment could go on forever. Could we stay in bed like this, wrapped in each others arms, for an entire day? I'd like to try.

"I wish we could've done more of this the last time," Bella said, leaving wet, heated kisses across my chest.

"You left me," I said, running my fingers through her hair.

"I'm sorry." She looked up at me apologetically. "Can I have a do-over?"

Chuckling, I pulled her face to mine, kissing her. "Definitely."

"What'd you do all week?" she asked.

"Worked. Went out with Kurt last night."

"And Jane."

"And Jane." I leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "What'd you do, besides break up with Garrett?" Her body stiffened at my question and she looked up at me. "I went to see Marcus."

"Your ex?"

She nodded, her lips smashed together, almost as if she were sucking them both into her mouth.

How nice it would feel to have her lips around my cock, sucking me in. If she only knew the images she ignited in my head from such a simple and innocent action.

"I thought if I forgave him I'd feel better and be able to come to you today with nothing lurking behind me."

"You don't feel better?" I asked, pushing a clump of hair behind her ear. This was the man who'd had such an impact on her that she'd started her list of rules. I wanted her to be over him. I was all for her forgiving him, if only for the fact that he'd be out of herand mylife for good.

"Actually, I do," she said as she sat up and turned to look at me.

For the next half hour, Bella explained her relationship with Marcus to me along with the conversation she'd had with him yesterday. She was so strong and forgiving when it came to this guy and I wondered where she got the strength; how she was able to break free from the anger

and hatred she should've felt after the way he'd treated her? I know I wanted to murder the son of a bitch. How could she sit there and talk about it so calmly, with only a few tears. I think I cried more than her as I held her after she finished. I was no Emmett where I could throw my weight around and mess the guy up, but I wanted so much to meet this Marcus face-to-face and show him exactly how he deserved to be treated. She was a better person than I had any hope of ever being. There's no way I could ever forgive someone for doing thatespecially to her.

"You think I'm nuts too, don't you?" she asked, referring to the girls, who apparently all thought she was crazy for forgiving the bastard.

"I just think he did something unforgivable to you. Don't you want to press charges? Let me and Emmett have a go at him"

"No, Edward, I'm not even sure what he thinks happened is how it really was."

"But he made you feel"

"Yes, but my feelings alone..." Bella closed her eyes as she took a deep breath, then opened them back up and shrugged. "Even if I fully felt violated by him, do you think I'd want to relive all that throughout the process? Never. I want him and everything that happened between us behind me. That's why I have to forgive him, Edward. Because if I don't, he wins. Don't you get it? I'm the one who's going to suffer if I let what happened continue to eat at me. I don't want to carry all that bullshit around with me for the rest of my life." She leaned up and gently brushed her lips against mine. "I love you, Edward. For the first time in my life I'm actually happy and in love. You're the only one I need." She kissed me again and then sighed as she pulled away. "You know, you're the only person I wanted to see yesterday. I came straight here after I left Marcus."

"Only, I wasn't home. I was out," I whispered, realizing what Emmett had wanted to tell me this morning.

"With Kurt and Jane." She smiled softly before continuing. "I think talking to the girls first helped me a lot, though. I was a mess when I got here last night, but after talking to them I realized the fullness of what forgiving him means. As I told them about it, I was actually able let it all go. I feltliberated." She looked up at me shyly. "I feel even better after telling you." She kissed me, smiling against my lips.

"They're still pissed at me for not telling them sooner and for forgiving him, but I had to do it, Edward. For mefor us" She kissed me again, and I pulled her close, opening my mouth as she slid her tongue past my lips, lightly touching mine. She pulled away with a huge grin. "I really feel free from it all. I used to live in this dark, murky prison cell. It was like I was bound to an unhappy version of what my life could've been. You were right when you said I wasn't happy and that I was lonely. Now? Now I see a future and everything seems so bright and cheery. I couldn't see past the next day before."

"What exactly do you see in your future?" I asked, raising my eyebrows. Did I have a place in her perfect world?

"You'll think I'm a sap," she whispered, laughing as she buried her head into my chest.

"Ah, come on now, everyone's allowed a little sap once in a while."

Rolling her eyes, she looked up at me and blushed. "I want to live in a big house on the water. Ocean, lake, I don't care which, but I want an office overlooking the yard and water where I can work and look out at my kids playing. My husband would be mowing the lawn"

"He doesn't work?"

"It's the weekend," she said with a shake of her head. "The kids are playing, he's mowing the lawn, and all our friends are on their way over with their kids for a game night."

"Our friends?"

"Shut up," she said, trying in vain to tickle me. "This tickling thing sucks," she said with a laugh, looking up at me with the most innocent eyes. "No one has ever made me feel the way you do," she said. "With every other guy, I've had this fear. Even with Garrett it was there, in the background. Not a fear that they would physically hurt me, I didn't fear that. I was afraid of being used, I guessafraid of being lied to and taken advantage of." She shrugged. "With you, it's different. I mean, you've seen my worseI was so horrible to youyet you're still here. You make me want to be a better person, Edward. I don't know how you did it, and honestly, I don't care, but you've made me want to take that leap; take the chance of getting hurt. I never thought I could feel this way. I didn't think it was possible." "I know exactly what you mean."

I kissed her then, long and hard, full of promises of the future she wanted, the future I, too, envisioned. The only thing she left out was the dogs, but we could compromise on that. Maybe

she was a cat person. Either way, we wanted the same things in life, and now that we had each other, I was sure I could make her dreams come true, and she, mine.

It was still pretty early when we pulled away from each other, and Bella threw on the white t-shirt I'd worn along with her panties before running to use the bathroom. I put on my boxer briefs and a pair of sweatpants and sat back, butterflies still fluttering around inside my stomach. Having Bella here, with me, seemed like a dream. When she returned, I suggested we watch a movie. She had fun going through my movies, looking for something she could fall asleep to.

"There are just some movies I can't relax during," she said, dismissing my copy of The Ring. "How about Night of the Living Dead?"

"You can fall asleep to Night of the Living Dead, but not The Ring?"

"The Ring creeps me out for some reason. I think because it's more psychological than

brain-eating zombies."

"Zombies, it is," I said, grabbing the movie from Bella and putting it into the player.

Sitting back against the headboard, I pulled her into my arms and put the remote down as the movie automatically began to play.

"I never would've pegged you for a horror fan," I said, leaning down to kiss the top of her head.

"My dad worked a lot of nights while I was a kid so my mom and I would watch scary movies almost every night, and in the summer, when I was out of school, we'd stay up all night with horror movie marathons."

"Your mom likes horror movies too?"

"She taught me everything I know," she said. "How about you? I figured you were a straight-laced lawyer. Sexy as all hell, butnah, you were never boring. A pain in my ass, yes,

but never boring."

"I think you bring out the worst in me."

"Oh yeah? Well let's see just how bad you can be."

I moaned, pulling her into me, kissing her, elated with the turn my life had taken. I had promised to be a gentleman earlier, but here we were, using up the last of the five condoms I'd stolen from Emmett, not feeling a damn bit guilty as I savored each fondle, each caress, each kiss. Buried deep inside the woman I loved, Night of the Living Dead playing in the background, I realized life couldn't get any better.

Chapter Twenty-Five Guideline 41

Guideline 41: Never wear your heart on your sleeve. Wait for him to share his feelings first.

Otherwise, how will you know if he's just parroting the words back or really means them?

Stretching my legs, I tightening my grip around Edward's waist as he tried to sit up. "Not yet," I murmured, not wanting to open my eyes for fear I'd actually wake up. Instead, I nuzzled deeper into the warmth of Edward's chest, wishing he didn't have to work this morning.

"Bella," he said with a little laugh, "at least let me turn off the alarm."

"Oh, is that where the music's coming from?" Lifting my head, I relaxed my arm around him, gluing my eyes to his back and the way his muscles moved under his skin as he leaned over and turned off his alarm.

He returned to my side, pulling my head down to his chest, and kissed my forehead. "Better?"

"Mmhmm. Do you really have to go to work today?"

"Yeah, I've got a meeting." His hands languidly stroked up and down my naked back, lulling me back to sleep. "Bella?"

"Huh?" I looked up at him, annoyed he kept waking me up.

"What did you tell Rose you were out doing last night?"

"Oh," I murmured, drawing out the end of the word and ending in a hum. "I told her I was having dinner witha friend." I told her I was having dinner with my agent. Maybe now was a good time to tell him who I was.

"Dinner with a friend?" Edward laughed, twisting our bodies so I ended up on my back, his firm bodyevery last hard inch of himpressed on top of mine. "You're even more beautiful first thing in the morning."

His gravely voice whispered over my cheeks and I couldn't care less that he was being sappyagainas his mouth moved in to claim mine and all thoughts of agents, books, and

Isaiah Strong vanished from my head. His hand trailed down my side, hooking under my leg, hitching it up around his waist as his fingers flitted over my bundle of wet excitement. Only I flinched back, sore and swollen from the night before. "You okay?" Edward asked, his hand retreating as he rolled off me, laying on his side, looking down at myyeah. I'd never felt so embarrassed in my life.

"Fine," I mumbled, pulling the blankets up to cover my body. "Just a little sore."

Sore was the nice way of putting it. The day after Christmas it hurt to sit down at the breakfast table. Add to that Garrett's arm around me, Emmett's teasing, and the pain in Edward's eyes as he walked into the dining room, and I really thought the world was crashing down on me. I wasn't as sore as that now, but still not ready for any probing in that area.

"Oh," he said and I could tell he really didn't know what to say. God, what did I expect him to do? Ask to take a look? God, no. "Um,"he ran a hand through his sexed-up hair and threw a

cautiously crooked smile my way"I can draw you a bath. Would that help?"

"No, I'm fine. I'm just not used to" If only the sky would open up and strike me dead! "How about I make you breakfast while you get dressed for work?" It wasn't subtle, but it was the only thing I could think of to change the subject. Besides, there was a feeling of warmth circling in my chest at the thought of making Edward breakfast.

"You don't have to do that." He tucked some crazy wisps of my hair behind my ear before leaning in and kissing me. "I usually just have cereal or pick something up on the way."

"But I want to," I said, sitting up and clutching the blankets to my chest, looking at the floor for my clothes.

"And I want you back in bed." Edward grabbed me from behind, pulling me back down onto the bed, his body leaning over me as he gazed into my eyes. "Are you sure you're okay? I wasn't too rough with you last night, was I?"

"No," I said, feeling a slow wave of heat slide up my face. "I just think my body needs a bit of a break."

"Bella, I never want to hurt"

"God, Edward, would you stop agonizing over this already? My body's not used to having your hugeUgh!" Was he too stupid to understand that I'm new to all thisthis sex stuff? Trying to calm down, I took a few deep breaths and then lowered my voice, ignoring his cocky smirk. "I'm sure my body will adjust over time." God I hoped so. One thing I never wrote about in my books was how it could hurt for a woman after her firstor secondtime. I never even imagined it could be so painfulyou never read about that part of it. It's always sweetness and roses as the two lovers lay in bed afterward.

"I'm sorry"

"That's it." I sat up, twisting as I placed my hands on Edward's chest, pinning him down to the bed. I straddled his lap and watched as his lips quirked up into a mischievous grin. I wanted to slap that grin off his face. "You need to stop apologizing. I can't be the only girl whose virginity you've taken."

He nodded his head, his lips sliding down into a thoughtful frown. "Actually, you are."

"How many girls have you been with?" It was a question I wasn't really sure I wanted the answer to.

He groaned. "Bella, do you really want to know this?"

No. "Yes."

He grimaced. "You're number six."

"Really?" That was it? I expected the number to be much larger than that considering he'd had

the one-night-stand with the strawberry blond girl back in October. I mean, if he'd had one that I knew of, how many others had he had?

"Yes, really." His hands moved to my waist. "I met Candace in college. We dated for about two years, but we wanted different things in life."

"Who was next?"

"Cheryl. We dated for a few months."

"What happened?"

"She wanted more than I was willing to give."

"Oh."

"Bella, I wasn't in love with her"his fingers squeezed into my waist"or Candace."

"How about Lauren? I'm assuming she's number three since Bree was here as well asGod, I

can't remember the other girl's name."

"Long Legs."

"Something tells me that isn't her real name."

He laughed, squirming under my hold, which only made my throbbing center wetter.

"And she was your only one-night-stand?"

"Not exactly." Not exactly? That didn't make any sense. If I was number six and Candace, Cheryl, Lauren, Bree, and me weren't one-night-stands?

"I wasn't in a relationship with Lauren when I had sex with her."

"But I thought you were together for a few months."

Edward shifted under me, pulling me down to lie next to him. "Lauren's father was the head

partner of the law firm I worked for. Because of that,"his fingers stroked gently down my cheek"a one-night-stand with her turned into" He sighed. "Into a nightmare."

"So you tried to have a relationship with her to save your job?"

"Sort of. I still only slept with her the one time, but" His fingers traced over my lips as his unfinished sentence hung in the air.

Taking his hand in mine, I kissed his palm. "But?"

"Edward?" Emmett called out before knocking on Edward's bedroom door.

"Shit, what time is it?" Edward asked, looking over to the alarm clock. "I'm late."

"Edward? You going to work? We have that meeting"

"Yeah, Emmett," Edward said, rising out of bed. "I'll be ready in a few minutes." Grabbing a pair

of underwear from his drawer, he pulled them on and then gave me a reluctant smile. "Iwe" He sat down on the bed, cupping my face in his hand. "There's more about Lauren that I need to tell you about."

"Some other time?"

He smiled sadly and then leaned in and kissed my forehead. "I'll pick you up at five tonight. Is that okay?"

"Sure. Where're we going?" It felt weird to be making plans for a date the day of. It felt like I was doing something wrong. I liked it.

Edward went to his closet and pulled on a pair of dress pants and a crisp, light green shirt. "I'm not sure yet. With my luck, everywhere will be booked solid and we'll end up at Burger King."

Laughing, I kneeled on the bed as I watched him pull a tie off his tie rack and place it around his

neck. "As long as we're together," I said, feeling loopy in love. Funny thing was that I never had a rule against going to a fast food joint for a first dateany official date. I probably should have, but the thought never crossed my mind that someone would be dumb enough to try something like that. "Here," he said, throwing me a pair of shorts and a t-shirt from his drawers. "I'm sure the only reason Emmett's waiting for me is to see you."

Pulling the clothes on, I took a deep breath as I felt the tingling heat of a blush wash over my entire body. Emmett knew exactly what we'd done here last night, and he'd no doubt tease me or something.

"Hey,"Edward placed his hands on my hips once I was finished getting dressed, pressing his body against mine"you have nothing to be embarrassed about." He brought his mouth to mine, the swirl of his lips hypnotizing as he lovingly kissed me, the energy between us building.

"Come on, Edward," Emmett yelled through the door.

Edward groaned as he pulled away. "You can stay here as long as you want."

"Actually, I need to go home before Rose gets up. Lying to her about going out to dinner is one thing, but trying to explain where I've been all night, well, I have no idea what kind of lie I can make up for that."

"I'm leaving," Emmett said, causing both Edward and I to laugh.

Turning out of Edward's arms, I walked over to the door and pulled it open, shaking my head at the scheming look in Emmett's eyes. "Good morning, Emmett."

Emmett didn't even so much as crack a joke about me being with Edward, which was what I'd expected. Instead, he razzed Edward for looking like crap, which he kind of did, but Edward's crap was sexier than Brad Pitt with sexed-up hair and no shirt on. He didn't have time to shave so

he had more than just a bit of stubble covering his face, and his hair wouldn't be tamed no matter how much gel he put in it. Personally, I thought he looked great.

After they left I changed into my clothes from yesterday and went down to my apartment, sneaking in, hoping Rose was still sleeping. She was still on vacation from school and work, which meant she could sleep in as late as she wanted.

Tiptoeing down the hall to my room, I heard the shower in the main bathroom running and cringed, hoping she hadn't noticed I was gone before she'd jumped in. After hiding the t-shirt Edward had loaned me under my pillow, I went out to the kitchen to start making breakfast.

"Where've you been?" Rose asked as she stepped in beside me to pour herself a cup of coffee.

"Huh?" I thought if I acted all confused, she would let me off the hook.

"I tried to wake you up when Emmett left to see if you wanted to go out for breakfast but you weren't here. Where'd you sleep last night?"

"Oh, I had a little too much to drink at dinner and Carmen insisted I stay at their place." "Awkward."

"Yeah." Could she tell I was lying? I always sucked at lying.

"Em and I are going to Midnight Sun early for dinner. Would you like to come with us?"

"Oh, no, I don't want to intrude."

"You wouldn't be intruding. We want you to come."

"Yeah, well, spending the evening as a third wheel isn't necessarily high on my list of fun things to do."

"It's New Years Eve, Bella. We aren't leaving you alone to brood."

"I'm not going to be brooding." I turned away from her before mumbling, "And I'm not going to be alone."

"What was that?"

"Nothing. JustI'll meet you all at Midnight Sun after dinner. Okay?"

"Everyone's planning on getting there pretty early. Remember last year?"

"Yeah, and I thought that was early."

"Em and I will be there no later than five."

Perfect. They'd be gone before Edward came to get me. "Well, I'll be there by eight, I think."

"You better show up."

"I will."

"Mmhmm." She grabbed a plate and started loading bacon I'd cooked onto it. I then scooped a large helping of scrambled eggs onto it for her and she kissed my forehead. "You know, I think Edward will be single tonight too, so it's not like you'll be the only one without someone to kiss."

I choked on the piece of bacon in my mouth. "Excuse me?"

"I'm not saying you should kiss him." Her face scrunched up. "I mean, the way you two go at it, one of you is likely to get hurt. I just don't want you feeling uncomfortable for not having a date. Besides, I plan on kissing you at midnight."

I laughed. "I'm sure I'll live without a midnight kiss." We both ate while standing at the kitchen counter. Rose's phone rang and she rushed to answer it, leaving me to clean up our dirty dishes. When Rose came back, she looked confused.

"What's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing. Emmett was just calling to tell me he needs to stay here tonight."

"Oh?"

"I guess Edward has a new girlfriend or something and wants the apartment."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry, Bella."

"Sorry for what?"

"I know you hate being the odd man out when we go out and that's why I was glad that Edward was going alone tonight too, but it turns out he has a date. Probably the same girl he had over yesterday."

"Don't worry about it. I still have a lot to be thankful for."

"Yeah? What's that?"

"At least I'm a wheel."

With Edward working and Rosalie gone to the spa for a few hours, I decided to sit down and write. It was the perfect atmosphere for me to get my thoughts out on paper. I was happy, well fed, and the apartment was quiet. After writing the first few paragraphs of my new novel in different styles, I read over them, wondering which would work best for the overall story. Every subject could be construed in a multitude of different ways, depending on how the writer portrayed it. I just needed to find the right tone and personality for my narrator.

I was still going over the different paragraphs when Rose came home, looked over my shoulder, and laughed. "I like the third one the best."

"You know it's not supposed to be funny," I said, laughing with her. I tried the humorous approach just to see what it would look like.

"Yeah, maybe not, but it actually works. I mean, there's nothing funny about dead, decomposing bodies, but the way the narrator explains it in the second paragraph is hilarious. You should go with it."

"A humorous Isaiah Strong book? My publisher would love that." They really wouldn'tor would they? The story itself wouldn't be funny, but maybe the narrator could provide some humor with the way he describes the scenes. It actually could work pretty well, especially if I gave the narrator a dry, sarcastic humor. I decided to try the first chapter like that to see what my publisher says.

For the next two hours, I hid in my room, reading through the book Alice gave to me after my accident. Rosalie got ready for her date with Emmett, and I listened, nervously waiting until she left so that I could get ready myself.

Finally, the moment came. Once Emmett and Rose had exited the apartment, I blasted one of the

CD's from the Misfits box set Edward had given me and started to get ready. At Macys the day after Christmas, the girls had helped me pick out a dress for tonight, along with a pair of crazy high heels, which Alice insisted on paying for.

With fifteen minutes to spare before Edward was supposed to pick me up, I stood in front of a full-length mirror and smiled. I almost didn't buy the dress, but was glad I'd decided to now that I had it on. It had horizontal pleatsat least I guess that's what you'd call them. I think Alice called them ruches or something like that. Either way, I wasn't sure if I'd like them. The top of the dress was white with a v-neck collar and thick straps so I didn't have to worry about looking for a special bra to wear with it. Starting just under the breasts going down to right above my knees, the material was black, still with the same pleats or whatever they were. It was simple but elegant and hugged my curves, making me feel beautiful.

With four minutes until the time Edward should be here to pick me up, I stood by my chair, not

wanting to sit for fear of messing up my dress or hair, which I left cascading down my back in soft curls. I'd just gotten done rechecking my makeup in the mirror and I'd tried relieving myself again, not wanting to have to at dinner, but I was dry. One minute later, I swallowed hard, worried he was going to be late, wondering if he meant the words he'd said to me last night and this morning. Did he really love me, or did he just tell me that to appease me? Shit. I'd said the words first. I never should've said it before him. That was a guideline, right? Was. Was a rule. Out of the three rules left, number two said I needed to be honest with him. Open and honest. That was why I'd decided to tell him I loved him. I didn't want him to question what I was feeling, as I had been questioning him and his motives.

A firm knock sounded at the door and my heart rose back into my chest, my mind feeling as if it floated into the clouds as I nearly passed out from oxygen deprivation. He was here. I took a couple deep, steadying breaths and then strode up to the door and opened it, revealing the most

gorgeous man I'd ever laid eyes on. He wore a black suit with a white shirt and a slim, black tie. I wanted to grab hold of that tie and pull him toward me, but I got lost in his smilethe crooked one that instantly created moisture between my thighs and accelerated my heart rate.

"You're beautiful," he said, his eyes generously roaming up and down my body, and I felt the dreaded pink tinge of heat rise up my body, into my cheeks.

"Thank you," I said, embarrassed as all hell, but thrilled as well. He told me I was beautiful. Not that I looked beautiful, but that I was beautiful. To me there was a big difference. To tell someone they looked beautiful implied they normally didn'tat least that's how it sounded in my world. The girls didn't agree with me on that one, but I couldn't help the way my mind worked. "You're very handsome yourself."

His smile brightened and he shifted, bringing my attention to a vase of flowers in his hand.

"Oh." He lifted his hand, holding the vase out to me. "These are for you."

"They're lovely. Thanks." I took the vase and stepped back. "Come on in." The vase was full of gorgeous pink roses and orchids. I smiled as I lifted my eyes to his. "No carnations?"

His lips quirked up and he winked. "I save those for special occasions."

We took a taxi, Edward and I cuddled up in the back seat as I tried to guess where he was taking me. When we pulled up to the restaurant, I wanted to squeal, but held back. Alice had told me that Jasper had taken her here for their first official date and she loved it. How Edward got a reservation on such a short notice, I wasn't sure, but it was packed, so it must've been a miracle.

The restaurant was a home renovated into a restaurant, but still held its homey atmosphere. We were seated in the main dining room, but at a table near one of the huge, floor-to-ceiling

windows with a direct view of Seattle below us. Everything about the night was absolutely perfect and romantic. Edward opened every door he could manage to get to before me, including the taxi's door, which made me laugh instead of angry. He ordered our appetizer without asking my preference, which earned him a glare, so when it came time for the wine, he insisted I order. I don't know much about wine, so I had to defer to him, which only made his cocky smile shine brighter and me higher.

The entire evening was intoxicating. So much so that I didn't want to go to Midnight Sun to meet up with our friends. I wanted to go home to my apartment. Or Edwards, considering he'd practically kicked Emmett out for the night.

"I was thinking," Edward said, bringing me back from my Edward-induced haze. "I don't know that much about you."

I held back a laugh, but honestly, he was right. We didn't know much about each other. This pull

we had toward one another was strongpowerfulbut there was more to a relationship than chemistry and sex. "What would you like to know?"

"We'll start simple." His eyes danced in the candle light and I knew I could get lost in them if I didn't concentrate on what he was saying. "What's your favorite color?"

"Green." The word spilled from my mouth and I questioned my sanity as I thought about the color red and how up until recently it had held the honor.

"Favorite book?" "Ah, that's a tough one. How about my favorite author?"

"Okay."

"I like anything by H.P. Lovecraft."

"You aren't a typical female," he said, his eyes searching mine, and I wondered what he was thinking.

"Is that bad?"

"No." He sat up straight, almost as if he was brought out of a funk, or whatever trance he'd been in. "I just happen to be a huge fan of H.P. Lovecraft."

"Let me guess. Every other girl you've ever dated read romance novels."

"That or fashion magazines."

I laughed. "Damn, that's worse than romance novels."

"Favorite food?" he asked, cutting a piece of his steak.

"Um, it depends on my mood."

"Fair enough."

"What's yours?"

"Steak."

"And your favorite color?"

He stared at me for a moment while he finished chewing. "Brown."

"That's odd."

He chuckled, wiped his mouth, and then seriously looked at me. "How many kids do you want?"

"Um, I, uh" How many kids did I want? This was a question that would end my interest in a man just as fast as it was asked, but for some reason, this question coming from Edward sent a swirl of heat through my bodyand not in a bad way. "I, um, I don't know."

"More than one?"

"Um, yeah, I mean, I'm an only child, but I, uh" Why was I suddenly burning up like a furnace? "I want more than one."

"I want at least two," he said with a crooked smile. "Maybe three."

"Three" I could actually picture myself with three, maybe even four auburn-haired kids running around my yard with the white picket fence.

"You aren't going to run away, are you?"

"Huh?" I darted my eyes to his, realizing I'd gone astray somewhere along the way.

"Every time we get close, you run from me." He looked sad, his eyes streaked with fear. "Right now it looks like you're far away somewhere in your mind."

"I don't run"

"Bella, I've been patient. No, more than patient with you while you tried to figure out what you wanted. I'm sorry if my question upset you, but it's not like I'm down on my knees proposing marriage to you. It's just thatyou bring out these desires in me. Desires I never had before. I

don't just want children, Bella. I want to have a familya family with you."

"Edward" I didn't know how to feel at this moment. I wanted a family too, but wasn't it too soon to talk about it? I'd never gotten this close before, this personal with anyone.

"I'll shut up about it," he said, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed a sip of wine. "Just please don't shut me out. I don't think I could last another week of you ignoring me."

"Ignoring you?"

"I know you needed time to think things through and to let Garrett go, Bella, but didn't you wonder what I was going through? We spent a wonderful night together and the next day you ignored me, blowing me off with an impersonal text message. You didn't even have the decency to talk to me on the phone and tell me not to worry oranything. You didn't tell me anything."

"Edward, I" There was nothing I could say. Edward sat before me, laying his feelings down on the ground and I sat there watching the young boy inside him with all his insecurities showing. I'd never seen him so vulnerable. It was this little boy who spoke to me, his sad, green eyes, imploring me to not hurt him again that made me realize how badly I'd screwed things up.

"Forget about it," he mumbled before taking a deep breath in.

"No. No, I can't"

"Bella, don't" A steel mask rose upon his face, hardening his features, hiding the little boy I'd just witnessed inside.

"No, Edward. I do want a family. I want at least three kids, actually. I want a family too." "You don't need to"

"I know I don't need to," I said, interrupting him. "I want to tell you this. I've always wanted a

family, but it's scary to talk about. It's usually a conversation that sends a guy runningit usually sends me running. It's a guidelinewas a guidelineto not talk about those things so early on."

He stared at me, the steel mask softening, sliding down his face, his eyes turning softer, sparkling once again.

"I didn't realize how my actions"I reached out and grabbed his hand"affected you. I just assumed you knew that our making love meant everything to me. I wanted to talk to you afterward, but Iit wasn't right to do that to Garrett. I was eating myself up inside over cheating on him. What we did wasn't right, Edward, and I thought that if I didn't see you again until after I broke things off with him, then, wellI just thought it was the best thing to do. I feltI feelterrible for what I did."

"Bella" Edward scooted closer to me, wrapping an arm around my chair as he leaned in and kissed my temple. "All I'm asking is that you don't pull away from me anymore. Tell me what

you're feeling so that I'm not sitting around wondering what the hell is going on. It was torture not knowing."

"I'm sorry," I said, looking up at him. I really was sorry. So sorry. I knew I wouldn't be happy if he'd done the same thing to me. "Can you forgive me?"

He smiled and then leaned in and kissed me. "I already have." He pulled away, going right back into attacking his meal. "So, what's your favorite game?"

Laughing, I finished chewing a bite of my steak, took a sip of wine, and then answered, "Apples to Apples."

"Hmm. My favorite is poker."

Of course it was; he was a man after all.

The thumping beat outside Midnight Sun vibrated through my bones as Edward and I stood outside, looking in through the windows at the crowd inside. There was a line to get in, so

Edward stood behind me, his arms wrapping me close to his body, trying to keep me warm as we waited. I texted all our friends, letting them know that I was outside with Edward. By this point, I couldn't care less who knew about us, or how they found out. Yes, I was hoping to shock them when we walked in together, but did it really matter in the big scheme of things? No.

Rose poked her head out the door just as Edward started sucking on my neck. I never would've noticed her if she hadn't barked out my name in an accusatory tone. Both Edward and I shot our heads up, staring at the firm lines radiating from her eyes she was pissed. She whispered something to the bouncer, showing him some tickets, and he motioned for us to come up to the door. After showing him our ID's, he stamped our hands then let us in behind a chorus complaint from the people in line.

"What was all that about?" I asked Rose as we followed her inside.

She looked down at mine and Edward's hands firmly grasped together, then back up at me and scowled. "We bought the three of you tickets."

"Three?" Edward asked, earning him another glare.

"You, Bella, and your girlfriend."

"I don't have awhat I mean is"

"What he's trying to say"

"Don't." Rosalie turned, halting us in the middle of a crowd. "One of you is paying for the extra ticket. I don't care who." She turned her focus to me. "You should've told me that you and Edward are seeing each other." She stomped to the table where all our friends sat, staring at Edward and I.

"Shit." I was expecting them all to be shocked, but what we were met with was beyond anything I could imagine. Actually, it was worse than anything I imagined. I thought they'd be happy for

us, but they all looked pissed. Well, except for the men. They didn't seem to care one way or the other. It was my girlfriends who seemed to have an attitude about it all. Even Alice looked upset.

"Maybe we should've told them," Edward said, his lips brushing against my ear.

"I'm sorry. I thought they'd be happy for us."

He spun me around, his hands gripping my waist, pulling me against him. "We can leave, Bella. We don't have to stay here."

Shaking my head, I turned to look at our friends, then back at him and grimaced. "No. They need to accept that we're together. I don't understand."

He kissed me, and there was nothing sweet or innocent about it. His tongue stroked over mine, his hand twisting through my hair. Was he doing it as a display for our friends? Probably, but I didn't care. I kissed him back, letting him know I wasn't going to shy away from him or

downgrade our status to appease our friends. When he pulled away, he smiled at me, and then kissed my forehead before turning to the table.

"Emmett? Jasper? How about we get a couple pitchers for the table?" Edward looked down at me as the other men stood, Ben and Mike along with them. "I'll try to keep them occupied as long as I can." He kissed my nose then took off with the guys, leaving me alone with my closest friends. Sitting down in a chair between Angela and Alice, I shrugged my shoulders and bit at my bottom lip, not entirely sure what I should say.

"You were the one with Edward at Alice's party?" Angela asked, taking the lead.

"Yes." I looked around the table to see giddiness in Jess's eyes, which made me feel better. At least one of them wasn't mad at me. Rose frowned at me, as did Angela, and Alice looked indifferent. Or maybe she was trying to hide her anger. I wasn't sure.

"You cheated on Garrett?" Angela sounded confused now, as if she didn't believe it.

"Yeah. I know it was wrong."

"No wonder you were so quick to forgive Marcus," Rose said, her irises outlined in rage.

"Rose, we didn't plan on this. It just happened."

"And you were with him last night too?"

"Yes."

"You lied to me."

"I know. I'm sorry. I wanted to surprise you guys." I looked around the table, noticing that Jessica was the only one who seemed excited for us. "I thought you would be happy for us."

"What is he to you?" Alice asked, her eyes piercing through me.

"Alice, he's" I'd never been good at revealing my feelings to people, even my girlfriends.

"He's what, Bella?"

"He's special."

"Special? How special?"

"What is wrong with all of you?" I asked the table at large, but my eyes stayed on Alice. "Why can't you be happy that we're happy?"

"Because I love my brother, Bella, and I don't want to see him hurt."

"Who said I was going to hurt him?"

"He's bound to do something to annoy you, something stupid that you insist is a sign you weren't meant to be together and then what? You'll dump him like you do every other guy."

"What the fuck, Alice? Didn't you hear anything I said to you guys the other night? I broke up with Garrett and went to see Marcus so that I could be free to date Edward. Edward is the only person I've ever wanted to change for. He's the only man who's ever gotten through to me. I'm scared to death that he's going to hurt me, and yet you're assuming I'm going to be the one to hurt him?"

"I know you, Bella. I know you run at the first sign of any trouble. You're too insecure to hash things out and work through any problems. At the first sign of a disagreement, you're going to run. I know you." Alice's eyes turned watery, her voice husky. Was that really what she thought of me?

"I'm not going to run. I swear, Alice, I love him."

I hadn't meant for my feelings to come out in quite that way, but they did. They were out, in the open, and the four gasps I heard at the table stalled my heart, my lungs emptying, as I waited for their response.

"And Edward? Does he love you?" Alice looked down at her empty glass then back up at the bar where the guys no doubt stood.

"I believe so."

Upon seeing Alice's lips curl up on one side, I continued. "I know you think I'm screwed up. Hell, I am screwed up. But Edward levels me out. Yes, he was a jerk to me, and I to him, when we first met, but there's something different about him. He doesn't take my shit. He sees me for exactly who I am and calls me out on my stupidity."

Alice's lips curled further, puckering together, obviously battling a laugh.

"Alice, if I ever do anything to hurt him, I promise you can beat the crap out of me. I swear. I love him. I'm happywe're happy. Please don't ruin this for us. Please give us a chance."

"A cosmopolitan," Edward said from behind me, interrupting my conversation with the girls, and placing the pink martini in front of me. He looked from my eyes over to Alice, then back to me. "Is everything okay?"

"Um"

"Everything's fine," Alice said, smiling up at her brother. She stood and stepped closer to him as he placed his hands on my shoulders. "Dance with me," she said to him, grabbing one of his arms and pulling.

Edward leaned down and whispered, "You're next," before kissing the skin in front of my ear and following Alice out onto the dance floor.

"Hey," Rose said, coming to take Alice's seat next to me as Jess scooted closer when the boys joined us. "Alice will come around."

I followed her gaze out to the dance floor where Edward's head leaned down to allow Alice to

talk into his ear. Neither a smile, nor a frown graced his face.

"He's the one," I murmured before looking back at Jess and Rose. "I can feel it."

"And it's evident all over your face," Rose said. "I don't know how I didn't see it before."

"We never thought her capable of cheating before," Jess said with a giggle and as much as I wanted to laugh along with her, I couldn't. I wasn't proud of what I'd done and Jessica bringing it up made me feel more awkward then I had before.

Emmett came to claim Rose for a dance and Mike pulled Jessica from the table, leading Ben to ask Angela. Jasper scooted over to me and draped his arm around my chair.

"Don't let her bite fool you," he said, his eyes following Alice and Edward's movements on the dance floor. "She's just worried about you."

"Me?" I mumbled, turning my attention to their dance.

"I get the feeling she's fighting to hold her excitement inside. If you didn't have your, uh, rules, and Edward didn't have the issues with the girl in Boston, I think Alice would've tried to push you two together."

Nothing else was said between us; nothing else needed to be said. I sat next to Jasper, each of us watching Edward and Alice dance and talk, the seriousness of their conversation evident in the glaring eyes, scowls, and sharp lips as they spoke. For a moment, right before Edward interrupted our conversation, I was sure Alice was softening to the idea of Edward and I together. Maybe Jasper was right. Maybe she was just worried about meand Edward.

Chapter Twenty-Six Rule 2

Rule 2: Always be open and honest with the man you love.

Alice's stiffness as we danced was only a symptom of what was going on inside her small frame and I had no idea how to alleviate her anger because for the first time since I could remember, she had reacted the opposite of what I'd expected. I thought for sure she would be thrilled that Bella and I were togetherI actually thought she'd been secretly hoping we would get together. Now, with her in my arms, her words biting into every thread of patience I had, I wasn't sure how to respond to her, except with the truth, which seemed to not be what she wanted to hear.

"How could you do this?" she asked with her mind so engrossed in her anger that she misstepped and landed right on my foot. Cringing, I pulled her closer, gaining more control over her movements. "Do what, Alice? Bella and I are both adults. We can date whoever we want."

"You're going to ruin everything. I know you, Edward, and I know you're going to screw this up. If you hurt Bella, what do you think is going to happen to me and her? The first day you two

met, she didn't talk to me for days afterward because of how mean you were. What do you think will happen if you break her heart? She'll cut me out of her life."

"I'm not going to hurt her." There was no way I could prove this to Alice, or to myself. I couldn't see the future. I had no idea what atrocities I could achieve in the course of a few months, let alone a year, or a lifetime. And there was the Lauren factor out there. If I didn't talk to Bella about her soon, that one issue could wipe out any chance of a future for us.

"Do you love her?"

My heart swelled with love for Bella, my eyes shifting over to the table where I left her. She sat next to Jasper, both their stares concentrated on me and Half-pint. When I caught Bella's eyes with mine, she blushed and smiled before turning her eyes to some spot on the table before her. Smiling, I let the warmth flow from my heart, out to my limbs.

"Yes," I said, looking back down at Alice, "I love her."

"What about that girl in Boston?"

Taking a deep breath in, I whirled Alice around so that my back was to Bella and the table. "What about her?"

"I don't know any specifics, but I know she holds some sort of power over you. I overheard mom and dad talking about her, Edward. Something about abuse charges against you"

"It's all a lie, Alice. Don't you trust me?"

"Does Bella know about her?"

"Yes."

"Everything?"

"No." Yes, Bella knew about Lauren, but she didn't know any specifics. No details.

"See, this is why I didn't try to push you two together."

I laughed, twirling Alice around again. She'd tried to set me up with so many friends of hers when I was in high school and my first couple years of college. I used to tease her that it was why I left Seattle and moved to Bostonto get away from her and her matchmaking. "Bella's an amazing woman," Alice said. "If it weren't for this Lauren person in Boston, you wouldn't have made it out of here the first night without Bella at your side."

"Oh, really?" She was that sure of her matchmaking ability?

"Edward, Bella and you could be perfect together"

"Could be?"

"If you both weren't so screwed up. Bella's got demons in her past and youwell, you've still got one stalking you. Do you really think you can have a normal relationship without telling her all the details?"

"Alice," I moaned, not sure what to say. She was right. If I didn't divulge every dirty little aspect of mine and Lauren's 'relationship', Bella could be hurt when it finally does come out. And it would come out. I was sure of that. Bella would answer my phone, or see one of Lauren's numerous emails or snail mail letters to me. She was bound to find out sooner or later.

"What happened?" Alice asked, looking up at me compassionately. "I've never known you to run from anything, let alone a person. What the hell happened in Boston? What is it that Lauren has over you?"

"She doesn't have anything over me." That was the truth. She was the harassing bitch of a liar, not me. Unfortunately, though the law was on my side, every acquaintance I knew in Bostonbesides Emmettwas not. "She's just an ex" I glanced up at my Scarlett and she smiled, melting the bitterness that started to harden around my heart. "She's in the past, Alice.

Bella is my future and you have nothing to worry about. Tomorrow, after we've nursed our hangovers, I'll tell Bella everything. I promise."

"She's not going to run, is she?"

"God, I hope not."

"It isn't that bad, is it?"

Yes. "No."

"So I can be happy for you two and not worry about either of you breaking the other's heart?" Alice smiled with exuberance, her desire to be happy about me and Bella finally shining through her rough exterior.

"Please?" I whispered, wishing above everything else that Alice would accept mine and Bella's relationship. From the look at the table, which was full of our friends once again, everyone else had accepted it. Even Rose, who I thought would be the hardest to win over was now sharing

giddy giggles with Bella, Jessica, and Angela, as they all snuck quick glances at me. "Yes!" She jumped into my arms, suffocating me in her embrace, and kissed me on the cheek.

The rest of the night was full of dancing. If I wasn't with Bella on the dance floor, I was with her at the table drinking. The only glitch in the evening was Bree, who made an appearance at our table to show off her new boyfriend. It was awkward when she came over, but when she left, we all got a good laugh out of it. She wasn't shocked to see Bella and I together, though I should've known she wouldn't be, considering she had constantly berated me about Bella when we were together.

After a midnight kiss with my beautiful girl, a toast of champagne for a great 2010, and a little more dancing, we all took off. Bella and I walked with Emmett and Rosalie back to our apartment building and after a quick stop off at Bella's place, the two of us were alone in my room, sleeping. That's right. We both passed out the minute we laid down on the bed.

In the morning I was woken by Bella nudging me, murmuring in my ear.

"Your phone's making a weird noise," she said after another nudge.

"Huh?"

"Your phone." She must've rolled over and fallen back to sleep because she stopped pushing at my shoulder, but the moment my phone started vibrating against the surface of the table again, she started muttering. "Will you just answer the damn thing?"

That wasn't going to happen. I knew exactly who was calling and there was no way I was going to talk to her. Not with Bella lying half dressed in my bed. Pulling Bella's back up against my chest, I wrapped my arms and legs around her and fell back asleep.

The next time my phone woke us up, it was to the programmed ringer for Emmett. Bella cursed

as she rolled out of my arms, grabbed my phone off the night stand, and chucked it at me.

An hour later, Bella and I sat at the diner down the street from Alice's condo with all our friends, both of us looking as if we'd just gotten off the Tilt-O-Whirl at a carnival. Her hair was up in a ponytail, soft wisps straying out. She'd actually look cute if she weren't green. Just looking at the expressions on her face made me nauseas so I tried to focus on Emmett and his nonsensical ramblings. How he and Alice managed to be so chipper was beyond me. Everyone else, including church-going-Angela, was nursing a hang-over.

Bella didn't speak much and I wondered if it was for fear that she'd unleash the contents of her stomach if she tried. Why we decided to meet our friends instead of stay in bed all morning was beyond me.

My phone, which lay on the table between me and Bella, started vibrating again and I snatched it up, hitting any button to send the unwanted caller to voicemail. The movement didn't alert

anyone except Bella, who by this time had figured out who the annoyance was. "Lauren?" she asked, her pale forehead scrunching up like a Shar Pei.

I leaned over to kiss her temple, whispering, "Yeah."

Bella gave me a sympathetic frown then turned back to the table and the conversation that continued on about the evening before. I couldn't concentrate on anything. My mind spilled with every possible way I could tell Bella about Lauren. I needed to tell her everything. I just wasn't sure how to best go about it. So much had happened between me and Lauren, and the beatings that Alice had alluded to last night were just a small part of it.

No, I never laid a hand on Lauren, but she'd seen Fight Club many times and knew how to throw a good punchon herself. Sometimes I wonder if Emmett would still be standing beside me if he hadn't walked in on Lauren beating herself as I tried to talk her out of it. Yeah, I knew better than to try and physically restrain her from the beating. My DNA would've be all over her and I'd

have had scratches on me if I had gotten anywhere near her. So I had stayed away, in the corner of the room, pleading with her to stopif not for herself, at least for the baby's sake.

"You ready?" Bella asked from my side and I looked up to see that everyone was getting up to pay or make a run for the bathroom. Emmett held a wad of money in his hands along with our bill and I went to pull out my wallet.

"I already got it," Bella said with a shrug. "Come on, I want to go back to sleep."

Back at my apartment, Bella put a movie in and curled up on my bed. I laid next to her, knowing I should say something, start the conversation we needed to have, but I wussed out. Instead, I let my mind be taken away into another world as I watched the movie and eventually fell asleep.

My phone woke me again, and I moaned, grabbing for the offending object and hitting any button to send Lauren to voicemail. She really needed to get a clue. When I turned back to

cuddle Bella, she was gone, a piece of paper in her place, letting me know she'd gone downstairs to take a shower. So much for telling her about Lauren.

We went on a double date with Rosalie and Emmett that night and then hung out with Alice and Jasper the next day. After that, Bella went back to her apartment, back to normal life where she lived in one place and I in another. When she brought me lunch to work on Monday, she was extra sweet to Jane, which caused me to smile as I held the door to my office open for her.

"Come back to work." It was after lunch and I had her pinned to the wall in my office, wishing I had the time to do much more than kiss her.

"No."

"Why not? You don't even have another job."

She bit at her lower lip then maneuvered out of my arms. "Who says I don't have a job?"

"A job that allows you to bring me lunch in the middle of the day?"

"I"

"Edward, Aro Volturi's on line one."

I walked over to my phone and pressed the intercom button. "Tell him I'll call him back." I didn't want to, but doing so would at the very least give me a few days without another call from him. Otherwise, he'd call me back until I spoke with him. Persistence must run in their family.

"God, was I that annoying?" Bella asked as I rounded the desk, back to her.

"Worse."

"What?" She backed away as I took a step toward her.

"Bella, you were a total bitch to me."

"You deserved it." She fumbled over another step back.

"Did not."

"Oh, come on. Stalking me on my dates, making rude remarks about my guidelines" Her back pressed against the wall and I smirked at her, letting her know I had her right where I wanted her.

"Rules." I placed my hands against the wall, on either side of her face.

"Rules. Whatever. You provoked me."

"Like this?"

Leaning in, I kissed her, not allowing any other contact between us. Like Moses parting the Red Sea, Bella's legs widened beneath her as she wrapped herself around me and pulled me in. Every time we kissed I felt taken away. Away from the world we lived in, the circumstances we met, the barriers in our lives. There was no Marcus, no Lauren, no Alice to interfere, or friends to

draw Bella's attention away. And there bloody hell was no intercom from where Jane could interrupt.

"Edward, Randy Cheddar's here for his appointment."

"No," I mumbled against Bella's lips as I leaned my forehead against hers, "you were never that annoying." I stepped away from Bella and went to my phone, telling Jane to give me a few minutes.

"I never interrupted you," Bella said, standing impishly near the door. "What?"

"With Bree. I never interrupted you two. I mean, I knew what you were doing in here with her, but I never"

"Bella, Bree and I never even kissed in this office."

Her hands moved to her hips, her submissive, shy behavior gone, replaced by a cool, calculating

look. "Now that's a lie."

"Oh, what? A peck on the lips? That doesn't count." I rounded my desk again.

"It's a kiss."

"Nothing that compares to" I pulled Bella into my arms and kissed her chastely. "That."

Bella laughed, pushing out of my arms. "Will the sap never end?"

"That wasn't sap, it's the truth."

She rolled her eyes. "Right."

"I know you feel it too, Bella. When we kissit's"I pulled her back into my arms"magic."

Smiling, Bella leaned up on her toes and planted a juicy one right on my lips. "Abracadabra," she said as she pulled away. "I need to get going, and you have a client waiting."

Leaning down, I gave her a real kiss, one that would leave her the way our kisses always left me: dazed and completely confused. When I pulled away, she had a wistful look in her eyes and I had to steady her as she swayed out of my arms.

"See you tonight?" I asked with cocky arrogance.

"Yeah. I'll make sure to take a shower. I'm sosticky."

Ego boost. Did that kiss actually make her wet? My smile widened.

"From the sap, you moron." She laughed, leaned in and kissed me, then opened the door for herself with an air of accomplishment in her step. "I'll see you tonight."

We spent the next two nights curled up on either her couch or mine, or one of our beds, reading books. It was wonderful to be able to just be with each other, reading, each in our own different

worlds. I was half way through the book Bella gave me for Christmas when something about one of the characters caught my attention. It was a background character, someone without very much dialogue, but she was always there, in the background, blending in to every scene. She was my Scarlett.

With my suspicions in place, I turned to the front of the book and read the words penned by Isaiah Strong.

Actions lead to feelings.

Isaiah Strong

What the? How come I hadn't noticed that before? Bella's voice from our Thanksgiving Dinner at her and Rose's apartment flooded back to me. "Love is an action," she'd said.

I ran a finger over the penned words in the front of the book. I'd read them on Christmas day when Bella gave me the book, but I shrugged them off, thinkingI don't know what I'd thought.

I was too excited over the fact that Bella not only gave me a gift, but one that must've been hard for her to come across. Or had it? How did she know Isaiah Strong? The man was like a hermit, according to the Internet. There was very little information about him and the only picture I could find was a self-portrait that looked more like a bunch of horribly drawn lines and geometric shapes. Who was he?

An old friend? Her dad? Her mom? Shit, her mom loved horror movies, it must be her. And she wrote Bella into the books? That seemed weird. And what about Eleanor's character? She was so much like Rosalie, it was almost scary. Whoever Isaiah Strong was, Bella must be close to himor her. It was almost like the penned message was from Bella, not

Once back in my apartment on Tuesday night, I downloaded the first three Isaiah Strong books onto my Nook and started scanning through the pages, looking for every scene that this 'Bella' character was in. It was toward the end of the second book that I found what I was looking for.

The 'Bella' character walks into a coffee shop and a guy is there singing some horrible girl-power song at the top of his lungs. That's why Bella's story about why she didn't date men who listened to Britney Spears seemed familiar to me. Shit. Was Bella Isaiah Strong? No. She couldn't be. Could she?

Chapter Twenty-Seven Rule 1

Rule 1: True love exists; trust your heart.

Ever since confessing my feelings to Edward, life had been wonderful. We saw each other almost every day unless I went out with the girls for dinner and didn't get home until late. In a way, our fast-lane romance scared the hell out of me, but at the same time, I looked at Alice and Jasper and Rosalie and Emmett and saw how speedy their relationships had also developed. So, I let go of my anxiety and focused on my new rule number 1: True love exists; trust your heart.

Trust, trust, trust; it was scary to let go and place my heart into Edward's hands; he could so easily crush it to smithereens, destroy every ounce of headway I'd made with him, but so far, he'd been the epitome of perfection.

How strange was it that I would actually look at Edward and think of the word "perfect," considering how imperfect he was? Looking over at him as he read his Nook, I smiled, enjoying the way he bit at the inside of his mouth while he read; I loved his imperfections. That was the strangest thing. In other guys, their imperfections annoyed the begeezus out of me. With Edward, what would've normally annoyed me, I found charming. Yeah. I had it bad.

"You're doing it again," Edward said, a playful smirk lifting his lips, his eyes never leaving his Nook.

"Screw you." Grimacing, I bent my head down to look at my Nook, which showed Chicago's Sears Towera screen saver. Turning my Nook back on, I reread the same paragraph I'd gotten

sidetracked on, and then glanced back up at Edward, amazed at how gorgeous he looked first thing in the morning.

Edward's lips curled up and I sank into the bed, half aware of reality, the air around me taking on a dream-like quality. He really was beautiful, and by some weird freak of nature, he was mine.

"That's it."

Without any warning, Edward flipped me onto my back, my Nook easily discarded to the side as he pressed himself firmly against me. I was too shocked to make any noise or movement. I stared. I melted. I smiled in anticipation.

"I'm taking you up on your invitation." Edward kissed me then. Deep, thorough, extraordinarily erotic, and I clung to him, knowing full well that he was my life-line.

Our lovemaking was neither hurried nor rushed. We took our time kissing, touching, feeling,

grinding into each other, enjoying the flutters of anticipation rising inside. When he finally took me, I cried out, reveling in the fullness of being filled by him. Who knew the asshole I'd met all those months ago could provide everything I ever needed in a man; a partner, a lover, a friend?

Edward made me whole. Damn. I was turning sappy and it was all his fault.

"It's just so predictable," Edward said, flinging my latest creation, the fourth Isaiah Strong book, which I'd given him for Christmas, in my direction.

"What do you mean, 'predictable'?" I asked, picking up the newly worn book, thumbing through to see where he'd actually made notes in the margins. Did he always do that to his books?

"The worst part though," he said, and I thought I caught a little twinkle in his eyes, but if I had, it was long gone, just a fleeting shimmer at most, "is the boring story line of Estrella."

He thought Estrella was boring?

"What is up with her, anyway?" Edward took the book out of my hands and leafed through it until he found what he was looking for. "She's so one dimensional without any alluring qualities, yet she gets more and more dialogue with each book. I don't get it."

"She's not one dimensional," I said, frowning down at the book he held. Estrella was my alter ego. I wrote her into the series for fun, but Edward was right on one count: she did have more dialogue in the fourth book than she had in the others. Maybe I'd given her too much to say and do? Before, she'd just been this ghost of a character that most people didn't notice but you couldn't miss her in the latest book.

"She's obviously your stereotypical lesbian"

"She's not a lesbian." I grabbed the book from Edward and held it clamped shut, staring at it, imagining what the final cover art would look like as I reeled in my anger. Edward laughed, leaning into me for a kiss. I turned my head.

"Oh, come on, it's not like I was insulting you or anything," he said, leaning further into me, capturing my lips when I had no room left to get away.

There was no resisting his kisses. Wrapping my hands around his neck, I melded myself against him, hungrily consuming what I had become obsessed with. He was right. He didn't know that Estrella was, in a way, me. I had to let his opinions bounce right off. I'd stopped caring about what my readers thought of my characters or plot lines years ago. I had to. Otherwise, I'd be an insecure pile of clay, molding my writing to what others wanted to read, instead of writing what was in my head.

It wasn't the first time Edward had hammered one of my Strong books into a coma, and I was sure it wouldn't be the last. The past few days, ever since he'd started reading the book I gave him for Christmas, he'd been making comments about the books, the characters, the plots, and even Isaiah Strong himselfalways critical. But the more he knocked everything, the more

reluctant I was to tell him who I was; who Strong was. I'd always thought he liked my Strong books. What if I was wrong? What if he hated them?

"Sweet. Now we're talkin'." Cue in Emmett and Rosalie. Edward and I knew better than to make out in his living room.

After a brief moment of embarrassment and a few reassuring kisses from Edward, the four of us popped in a movie and I cuddled Edward on the couch. This was my life. My new life. And it was perfect. Perfectly perfect.

Edward and I continued to grow closer with each passing day. Never in my wildest fantasies had I ever imagined loving someone the way I loved Edward. I had plans for a future now, not that I shared those plans with Edward. He'd think I was strange or somethingmaybe like Lauren. But whenever Edward held me in his arms, I easily saw myself curled up against him years down the road, kids, grandkids, great grandkids. Sometimes the emotions bubbling inside me were too much that it actually hurtin a good way.

It was Saturday night and Edward and I had been dating for a few weeks. I had never been surer of anything or anyone in my life before. Edward's arms around me as we danced made me feel so safe, so protected, and so frickin' horny. I enjoyed this though: the two of us dancing, laughing, having a great time. We still fought, don't get me wrong, but we used our bickering like foreplay. I was sure that by the end of the night we'd be arguing about something, and just the thought made me smile. I loved make-up sex.

The evening couldn't have been more perfect. Well, with the exception of a few phone calls from Edward's stalker ex-girlfriend during the evening, but as always, he ignored Lauren's calls and gave me his full attentionmy hero. When I thought about all we'd been through, I felt horribly guilty for taking too long to see him for who he truly is. The day he kicked ass against James was amazing and all I had kept thinking of was how to avoid him during the after party. Why had I been such a bitch?

But this was it. The new me. My new life. I didn't have to be the bitch anymore. I could be happy. I could enjoy life. And it was all due to Edward. As I said before, he was my hero.

After dinner and dancing, we headed over to Midnight Sun to meet up with our friends. Every one of my girlfriends had a steady boyfriend now. It baffled my mind. One year ago, we were all single, except Angela. Edward and I drove back to our apartment building to park the car, deciding on walking to the bar.

By this point in our relationship, though we'd only been dating a few weeks, I was starting to get used to Edward opening doors for me; even the car door. I had such a hard time with the car door at first because it seemed so rude to just sit in the seat and wait as if I were some Egyptian princess, deserving of such a gesture. In time, I realized the wait gave me extra time to check my makeup and make sure I had everything I needed. And Edward enjoyed being chivalrous, even though he hated it when I used that word.

The other night, when I was out with my girlfriends, Alice had made a comment about how lucky I had it because she knew Edward was raised to treat women with respect. Looking over my dating history, as well as hers and the rest of our girlfriends, I saw now that she was right. There aren't many men out there in today's society who treat women as wonderfully as Edward does me. I had to agree with Alice on that oneI was one lucky girl.

Edward's phone vibrated in his pocket as I huddled into the warmth of his arms, walking down the street to Midnight Sun. He took a deep breath in and exhaled before looking at me with a sad smile. I smiled back, hopefully letting him know it was no big deal. Lauren's phone calls usually weren't this frequent, but who knew. Maybe she'd been drinking. We've all had our own experiences with drunk-dialing.

Bree was the first person I saw as I stepped over the threshold of Midnight Sun. She smiled and waved, then pulled her newest boyfriend, or hook-up, in for a kiss. I turned to Edward and rolled

my eyes and he laughed, wrapping his arm around me as we pushed our way through the crowd to our friends. It was like a scene from St. Elmo's Fire: our group circled around a table, empty pitchers and full beer glasses in front of us, laughter, smiles, loud music in the background. Life couldn't get better. Turning my eyes to Edward, watching him joke around with Emmett and Jasper, I took a deep, steadying breath. I was turning into a romantic. Even my new novel had a bit of romance in itit was almost sickening.

An hour later, I soared on the dance floor, grinding against Edward, wrapped in his arms, his lips on my neck. My knees were weak, heart pounding with fervor, blood swarming with tingling warmth, while Edward whispered his sappy words of love and adoration in my ear. I was getting used to that side of him too; the hopeless romantic who even had me dreaming big.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and looked him in the eyes. "You'll have to do better than that if you want me to say yes," I said.

He kissed me and I felt as if I were floating. I couldn't feel the floor under my feet, the crowd that should have been around us, or even hear the music. My senses were all jazzed up from Edward. His outdoor, woodsy smell tingled my nose, deep in my throat as I breathed him in, tasting beer along with a flavor that was uniquely Edward while our kiss turned into a slow, starving need. His body was hard beneath my hands, yet warm and protective. I was ready to leave.

Pulling back, out of the deep fog, I took a couple breaths, refilling my lungs. "I need to use the lady's room before we leave." I could barely speak. I was breathless, excited, and desperate to get him alone in his room.

"Don't take too long," he said, bending down to kiss me one last time.

I fluttered away. Yes, I fluttered. The practical side of me lectured over and over in my head that

this was only a fleeting thing. Every thing would change over time. The romance would die and I'd be left with a man who farted, belched, and scratched his balls with a vengeance after the wedding.

Whoa. Where did that come from? It was too early for thoughts of marriage. Smothering little Ms. Practical, I let the new sappy side of my mind enjoy the euphoria I was in, whisking my way to the sink to wash my hands. It was eerily quiet in the ladies room, practically empty, the only noise the vibration from the music just outside the bathroom door.

Taking a few deep breaths I looked into the mirror and smiled, taking in the glow around my body. Or was I just sweaty? With some paper towels, I tried to dry off my face and forehead and then started to reapply my makeup. I was aware of someone else in the room with me, a figure standing in the background, but I was too fixated on my Edward-induced high.

"He's a good kisser," the figure behind me said, and I turned around to look at the woman who spoke, wondering if she were on the phone, or She stood, glaring at me, no phone in her hands.

"Excuse me?" I asked, wondering if maybe I heard her wrong. Who was a good kisser?

"The man you were dancing with." Her hips shifted, arms folded across her chest.

Edward? Was she telling me he's a good kisser or was her statement more of an observation? "Um, yeah," I said, turning back to the mirror so I could reapply my lipstick. The woman moved behind me, causing me to catch her reflection in the mirror.

"Do you enjoy kissing my husband?"

"What?" I turned, dropping the lipstick to the counter. Who was this woman?

She had long blond hair, though I could tell it was from a bottleall one shade and her roots and

eyebrows were dark brown. Her cheeks seemed kind of pudgy, as did the rest of her, for that matter, though she was dressed in tight, skimpy, clothes. The kind anorexic ladies wear to dance clubs. I couldn't pull them off and I had a tinier build than this woman. If she wore appropriate clothes, she wouldn't look bad at allon the heavier side of average, maybe.

"My husband." She took a couple steps so that she was standing next to me at the counter. "Edward. Do you enjoy kissing him?"

"He's notwho are you?"

She pulled a wallet out of her purse and opened it, pulling a few things from inside and handing them to me. The first was her driver's license. Lauren Cullen. Lauren Cullen? As in stalker Lauren from Boston? Sure enough, the license was from the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.

"Lauren," I whispered, my eyes blurring at the sight of Edward's last name after her first.

"Here," she said, shoving a piece of paper into my shaking hand as she took back her license.

In my hand was a marriage certificate between Edward Anthony Masen Cullen and Lauren Sophia Volturi. They were married on May 11, 2009. Not even a year ago. Running my fingers over the lifted seal from the notary, I took a deep breath and spewed curses at Edward in my head. That son of a bitch. No, that wasn't right. Esme was definitely not a bitch. But her son was.

"I thought we were in love," Lauren said, taking the marriage certificate away from me and giving me a few pictures.

The first picture was of Edward and Lauren on what I could only assume was their wedding day. She wore a white, casual dress and held a tied bouquet of red roses in her hands.

"We were so eager to get married that we didn't even wait to plan the big one. We did plan it though. It was supposed to be on New Years Eve, but"

I flipped to the next picture, trying to ignore Lauren's tears. This one was of Lauren and some other lady, the date-stamp on the picture showing it was taken in late September, around the time Edward moved to Seattle. Lauren's smile was small, there were bags under her eyes, and she was very obviously pregnant.

"You were pregnant?" I asked, not wanting to believe what I was seeing.

"Yes, well, that's what made Edward run."

"He left because you were pregnant?" That didn't sound like the Edward I knew. He wanted kids. Told me he wanted at least two. I even thought he'd make a great dad.

"He said the idea of raising a child sickened him."

I flipped to the last picture and froze. Looking back at me was a beautiful baby girl with rosy cheeks, gorgeous bluish-grey eyes, and a smile that could stop a train. She was gorgeous. She

was Edward's. Tears trickled down my cheeks, blurring the beautiful smile.

"Her name is Esme," Lauren said, causing a half cry-half groan to escape my mouth, my shoulders shuddering from the impact.

"I'm sorry," I muttered between sobs, wiping my eyes and looking up at Lauren. "I'm very sorry. I didn't knowI didn't"

"I don't blame you." Lauren took the pictures back and frowned. "I'm sorry to ruin your evening."

I snorted. "Ium, II need to go." I gathered my makeup stuffing it all into my purse. "I'm so sorry." I couldn't look at her anymore. I felt horrible. Devastated. Nauseas. All I knew was that I needed to get out of therefast.

Chapter Twenty-Eight Rule 3

Rule 3: When in doubt, refer to rules 1 and 2.

I never thought this would happen to me. For the first time in months I was happy, able to breathe easier, sleep, smile, laughI was a new person and I had Bella to thank for everything. Even more importantly, this new me was ready to start a new life. After I tell Bella everything about Lauren, I plan to propose; I couldn't wait any longer. And tonight would be the night. I knew she'd be upset over what I needed to say, but I also knew she'd understand because I hadn't done anything wrong.

Looking at my watch, I realized Bella had been in the bathroom a lot longer than normal. She wasn't the type to stand in front of a mirror and primp for ages upon ages like most women my sister, for instance. Impatiently, I turned to look at the door to the women's bathroom and frowned, wondering what was taking her so long. Turning back to Emmett and his colorful story about a case he'd been working on, I tried to act interested. Rosalie looked at him as if no other

man existed in the world and my heart softened toward her. We weren't best friends, but we were both making an effort now that Bella and I were together, and seeing the adoration she had for Emmett was definitely a bonus.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a flash of mahogany and I turned, stunned to silence to see Bella quickly shoving her way through the crowd and toward the door.

"Bella!" I yelled, trying to get her attention, but she kept pushing her way through. Everyone at our table looked up to where my eyes were focused then back at me. Shit. Not sure what had happened, but aware that something was wrong, I bolted from my chair and took one step before another woman stood before me, hands on her hips, eyes on fire. Fucking Lauren. I searched over Lauren's head, looking for any sign of Bella, but she'd already made it out of the bar. I turned back to the one person I dreaded and shook my head.

"Hello Edward," she said.

"What the fuck did you do?"

"I'm doing well, and you?"

"Don't do this," I pleaded. Lauren was fucked in the head. Who knew the lies she could've spat to Bella.

"Hey," Rosalie said, coming to stand next to me, placing her hand on my forearm, "is everything okay? Where's Bella?" She looked over to Lauren, sizing her up and apparently concluding she was small potatoes.

"Bella wasn't feeling well," Lauren said with a forced smile.

Rosalie let go of my arm and took a step forward. "Who are you?"

"Fuckin' A, man," Emmett said from my other side, watching Rose step toward Lauren.

"Rose," I said, grabbing a hold of her arm, "can you go check on Bella?"

"What happened?" she asked, turning her questioning gaze to me. "Who is this? What did she do to Bella?"

"Yeah, Edward," Lauren said, "who am I?"

"No one," I muttered, trying to restrain the anger vibrating through my bones. My hands clenched into fists at my sides and I felt the pulse of the veins in my neck. Lauren rolled her eyes then fixed her attention on Rose.

"Please, Rose, can you go check on Bella?"

"Why don't we all go check on her?" Lauren said, her smile poisoning the contents of my stomach.

"Actually, why don't you go after her," Emmett said to me, rolling up his sleeves. As a big man, he was intimidating, but with his war-face on and his sleeves rolled up, ready for action, he was

downright frightening. He nodded his head in Lauren's direction and said, "I'll take care of this one."

I hesitated. There really wasn't anything I could do here other than have it out with Lauren, and it would prove nothing. Everything would still be the same at the end of the night. Emmett was right; I needed to find Bella.

Emmett's voice was clear when he spoke to Lauren as I hightailed it out of the bar, though I wasn't paying attention to what he said. The air outside was bitter and moistan omen hanging low in the Seattle sky. Upon entering the apartment building, I went straight to Bella's apartment and banged on her door. There was no answer. I banged again, calling out her name, then stopped, pressing my ear up against her door to listen. I didn't hear anything beyond the door. Shit.

Not sure what to do, I slunk down to the floor, my back against Bella's door, and waited. Maybe

she went for a walk and hadn't come home yet. Maybe sheI couldn't think of any other possibilities. Well, there was one, but she'd promised me she wouldn't run away. She wouldn't do that, would she? I called Bella's cell, which sent me straight to voicemail, but didn't leave a message since I didn't know what to say.

It seemed like hours, but maybe it had only been minutes, before a loud crowd wandered my way. I knew the voices, heard their soft whispers as they approached, but couldn't look up into their faces. I'd failed Bella. Alice would surely gut me with a spoon and Rosewell Rose was the one I was most fearful of.

"Get off the floor," Rosalie said, kicking my leg with her pointy red shoe.

"She's not here," I said, not bothering to move.

"No shit," she said, pushing her key into the lock. She kicked me again and I moved out of the way as she pushed the door open. I finally looked up to see pity staring back at me from Emmett

and Alice. Jasper looked embarrassed for some reason. Maybe for me? Rose, well, Rosalie looked at me as if I were some mess left over from a dog to be cleaned up.

"Have you talked to her?" I asked, hoping someone had heard something. "No," Alice said, placing her arm through mine. "She's not answering her phone."

"Where would she go? Where should I look?"

Rosalie arched her brows at my question, looking ready to give me the lecture of a lifetime, but she then looked at Emmett and her face softened, though she didn't answer. Turning, she walked into her apartment and I pushed past everyone else, going straight to Bella's room. The light was on and I thought maybe she was there, but it was empty. Her computer was gone and the drawers to her dresser were open, most of the clothes gone. Shit.

"Give her some space," Rosalie said from the doorway.

"Space?" I took a deep breath and looked over everything in her room one more time, making sure I wasn't in a dream. "She said she wouldn't run again."

"What do you expect after hearing that you're married and have a kid?"

"I'm not" I didn't have to defend myself to Rosalie. I knew for a fact that Emmett had set her straight, and if he hadn't, then oh well. She wasn't the one I needed to clarify things to. I needed to find Bella. "Just tell me where she went."

"I don't know." Her eyes looked sad, yet calculating. She truly didn't know, but was thinking about it. Thinking about where Bella would run off to.

"But you know where she might run to. Can you think of anywhere she might go?"

"I" She looked behind her, over her shoulderat Emmett maybe?and then sighed, looking back to me. "There's an old cabin in the woods behind her parents' house. It's where she goes

towell, it's where she goes to unwind sometimes."

Unwind. Huh. I'd bet anything it's where she goes to write. According to Isaiah Strong's website, he likes to write in a remote cabin in the woods. Without another word to Rosalie, I slipped out of Bella's room and past our friends, into the hallway. I started to the elevator to go down to the parking garage, but stopped myself. There was something in my apartment I needed first.

Walking up the stairs to my floor, I went over the words I'd say to Bella. As mad I was for her running again, I had to stay cool and calm. That was a whole other argument than the one we had to have first. There was no hesitation, no question as to whether or not I wanted to make our relationship work. She was the one for mewith or without her running shoes. Besides, it was my fault she felt she had to take off. Why hadn't I just told her the truth about Lauren? Sure, she knew the basics, but the flames on the surface were superficial. It was the molten embers underneath that Bella didn't know about and I would bet my life that Lauren told Bella just

enough to enrage. Hopefully it wasn't too late to put the fire out.

When I turned the corner, my mind lost in practiced conversation, it took me a second to realize that a cowering blob on the floor was actually Bella. Sitting against my door, huddled defensively, red-rimmed eyes dancing from the light reflecting off her tears. My heart stopped, breath caught in my throat. I was too afraid to move or speak. Too afraid I'd scare her away.

We stared at each other for a moment before she stood up, motioning to my apartment door. "Can I come in?"

"Um, sure, I" It was my voice speaking, but the words I wanted to say weren't making their way to my mouth. I gave up trying to say anything else and opened the door.

I motioned for Bella to step inside, my hand visibly shaking damn my nervesand, as customary, she rolled her eyes before crossing the threshold. Once inside, I shut the door and

took my jacket off, threw it on the couch. I stuffed my keys in my pants pocket as I watched Bella, her arms crossed over her chest, making no move to take off her coat.

Here I was needing to set things right, and I still couldn't get the words swimming around my head formulated into sentences. I stared at Bella, my mouth open, wanting to speak, but unable to do so, while Bella stared at the floor, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Bella," I finally said, unsure of what to say next, but luckily the words started flowing and I had no idea where they came from. "I love you. I don't know what Lauren said to you, but I need to tell you the truth of what happened between us."

"No, Edward. I need to say something first." She held up a hand, stopping me from saying anything more. Pain sliced out from her eyes as she spoke and I wanted to go to her, to pull her into my arms, but I held back, waiting to hear what she had to say.

"We both kept secrets from each other," she said, grimacing sarcastically. Just the words scared me. What had she been keeping from me? "IEdward, I have a job. I know you've been worried about the fact that I wasn't looking for anything and all, but I have a great job" She cut off as I began to laugh, her eyes narrowing on me.

"I know you're Isaiah Strong," I said, letting her off the hook for the lie. It was a petty little lie anyway, nothing to write home about. Well, I may have to call my parents and tell them because my dad really enjoys her books, but otherwise, it wasn't a huge omission.

"You know?"

"Of course I know. Why do you think I've been teasing you about the books?"

"You? You were doing that on purpose?" A slight lift of her lips made my heart ache to hold her even more, but I stood where I was, my feet rooted in the floor, afraid to make any sudden

moves. Instead, I shrugged at her question and watched as she closed her eyes and straightened out her mouth, the anger showing in her eyes as she opened them again.

"Now that my lie is out, maybe we should talk about yours." She held up a hand to silence me as I tried to cut in, wanting to explain everything. "I'm not done." She took a deep breath, exhaling loudly before speaking again. "I was on my way to my parents', Edward. I couldn't stand the thought of looking at you; not after what I heard from Lauren."

"Bel"

She stopped me again with the hand and I did as she bid, not wanting to piss her off anymore than she already was. "I made it to the ferry when it dawned on me what I was doing." She looked up at me and I could see how torn she was inside, as if she were twisting in two, not sure what to believe or how to feel.

"That was?" I asked.

"I was running away, and I'd promised you I wouldn't do that again."

We stared at each other for a moment and I had a brief feeling of hope skip inside me.

"I was also letting someone I didn't know come between us. I don't know if I can believe every word Lauren said, but when she showed me the picture of your daughterEdward, I lost it." A tear streaked down Bella's cheek and she hurriedly brushed it off, annoyance turning in her burning eyes.

But then I realized something she'd said. My daughter? I didn't have a daughter, let alone a son, but if anything, Lauren did have a sonagain, not mine.

"Daughter?" I asked, confused, trying to figure out what I was missing.

"Are you saying Lauren's daughter isn't yours?"

"Of course she isn't mine. Hell, Bella, Lauren doesn't even have a daughter." That did it. I scrambled for my phone, searching through the numerous pictures I'd been sent from not only Lauren, but her father as well. Once I found a picture of Lauren's son, I held the phone out to Bella. "This is a picture of Edward Volturi." She took a step toward me and grabbed the phone out of my hand. As I watched her expression from looking at the picture, I continued, "I'm not sure why she insisted on giving the kid my name. He's obviously not mine, as you and anyone else with eyes can obviously see."

"He's black," she said, looking up at me with confusion.

"Like I said, not mine."

"Then whose baby girl did she show me a picture of?"

"I don't know, Bella. I honestly have no idea. Maybe a friends?"

She handed me back my phone, wiping more tears from her eyes in the process. We were closer now and I could smell her sweet, fruity shampoo and musky scent of her cologne. "Were you married to her?" Her chin jutted out in defiance, shaking.

Closing my eyes, I exhaled before looking back at her. "Technically, yes, but I had the marriage annulled. We didn't even consummate the marriage, Bella. We had a one-night stand and then a few weeks later she told me she was pregnant. I was going to lose my jobI didn't know what to do. She's the daughter of my old boss and I had to marry her or that was it. I thought the baby was mine. I thought I was doing the right thing. I thoughthell, after an amniocentesis showed I couldn't be the father of her baby, I immediately had the marriage annulledwhich eventually did lose me my job and Emmett's too since he was the only one who sided with me.

"Lauren turned crazy after the annulmentworse than what I'd told you before. She was beating herself then telling everyone I'd beaten her. The cops got involved and if Emmett hadn't walked

in on her beating herself one day, I don't think I'd be a free man today. He saved my life."

"So you did marry her?"

"Yes, I did."

"How long were you married?"

"A couple months. I have the annulment papers if you want to look at them. Her baby is not mine, and I swear I never touched her other than the one nightone drunken night. I was stupid. When she told me she was pregnant, that was it. I was done. I was so ashamed. I didn't even tell my parents. They didn't find out until after the annulment."

"And Alice?"

"Alice found out tonight, just like you."

"Why didn't you tell me? You had so many opportunities to why? Why did you keep it a

secret?"

"As scared as you were to tell me about Isaiah Strong, can't you understand why I was frightened to tell you that I'd been married and there was a child involved? No, it's not my child, but still, I left a pregnant woman. It's not something I'm proud of."

"She lied to you."

I shrugged, knowing she was right but not wanting to throw out any excuses for my behavior. The truth is, I left a woman vulnerable. That's what I was most ashamed ofI couldn't care less about Lauren herself, but to walk away like I didit wasn't my best moment.

Bella took a step closer to me, hesitant, a questioning look in her eyes. "I'm all packed up," she said. "I have everything I need."

My heart raced, the words, "don't go," fighting to make their way out, but I held them back, not sure if I had a right to voice them.

"I wasn't going to be gone long. A few months, until I finish my new book." She took another step, bringing her into my personal space. The air between us vibrated, my hands longing to reach out and grab hold of her. "I'm so sorry," she whispered, barely audible between us.

"What? No, Bella, you didn't do anything wro" My words were cut off by the tip of Bella's finger.

"I didn't believe in you. I believed Lauren." She removed her finger from my lips and looked up at me with her sad, wet, brown eyes. They reminded me of a scared, baby doe. "Can you forgive me?"

"Wait right here," I said, taking a step back and I could see the hurt in her eyes return. I took a step back toward her, pulled her into my arms and kissed her. Strong, possessive, undeterred. When I left her standing on the floor, she looked bewildered.

I immediately went to my room to retrieve the one thing I went back to my apartment to get before I planned on heading after Bella. Once it was in my hand, I was nervous again, this time for a different reason. With shaking hands and a lump in my throat, which I couldn't swallow down, I walked back to Bella, our eyes connected for the entire distance.

"Bella," I said, "Ium, let me do this right." Keeping my eyes on her confused ones, I dropped to one knee, happy to see her mouth fall open. "I was planning on doing this tonight, but under different circumstances. I planned on telling you everything about LaurenI was so scared, Bella, but I did plan on telling you everything, and I wanted you to know how much more you mean to me than she ever did. I wanted you to know how serious I am about youabout us."

I took her hand in mine and opened the palm of my other hand, revealing my grandmother's ringan heirloom passed down through generations. The band was old, but I figured she could

pick out a new setting if she wanted. The diamond, on the other hand, was a gorgeous 2 carrot princess cut. Plain, simple, no other embellishments.

"Bella, I've never been so sure of anything in my life as I'm sure about my love for you. When I saw you run out of the bar tonight, I didn't know what to do with myself. I'm sorry for how"

"Sh," she whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks. Tears she didn't even try to wipe away. "No talk of her. Not right now. Not"

As she trailed off, I found my courage again and finally did it. I popped the question. "Isabella Marie Swan, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?" In all the ways I'd planned on asking, formal was not one of them. I wasn't sure what came over me, but it just flowed out and when she didn't respond, I thought that was it. I thought it was over.

"II don't know." Bella looked down at me, then over to my hand and the ring it held. "I'm not

sure right now is the right time to be asking meI just don't know" "Right now is the perfect time. There aren't any secrets between us anymore. And going forward, I promise to never keep any ever again. I should never have kept the truth from you like I did, and there are no excuses, but I promise, Bella, I promise to never hide anything from you again. I take marriage vows seriously, which is why I was mad at myself for leaving Lauren the way I did, regardless of the lies she told me. But if I hadn't have left, I never would've found you. In a way, I'm grateful that she was so crazy, because I'd still be stuck in Boston. Unhappy, unlovedwithout you. I couldn't live like that. I can't live like that."

"Okay."

"Okay?" I looked up at her, disappointed in her lack of exuberance. Just okay?

Her head was nodding ever so slightly, tears running off her cheeks, dropping on her hand that I held. "Yes, I'll marry you."

I stood, not sure if I liked her response. "I don't want you to accept because you feel sorry for me or pressured into"

"I wouldn't say yes if I didn't want to," she said, taking her hand away from mine and wiping her eyes.

"But 'okay' isn't a great response."

"And your proposal wasn't the best timing."

It was her hands on her hips that brought the smile and laughter to my lips. This was one of the reasons I loved her, yet at the same time, she really knew how to get on my nerves.

"What are you laughing at?" she asked, her red-rimmed eyes narrowing on me. The tears had stopped falling, but her nose was stuffed, her face blotchy. She never looked more beautiful.

"I'm just happy."

"Why?"

"Because you said, 'okay.'"

She smiled. "I did, didn't I?" She giggled and I couldn't stay away from her anymore. I pulled her into my arms and held her tightly, crushing her against my body.

"I love you, Bella. God, I love you." I let go and looked down at her, glad she hadn't run away as planned, and pissed off at myself for letting Lauren come between us. Never again, I promised myself. Never again would I keep anything from this woman. "If I had my way, we'd take off right now and fly to Vegas," I said, nuzzling her neck. "I don't want to wait to make you mine." "Possessive much?" she asked, and then giggled as I growled against her skin.

Pulling away, I took the ring that was still clasped in my hand and placed it on her finger, and then I swung her up in my arms and tried to run her to my room. All I wanted to do was hold her.

Be with her.

"Hey," she said as I dropped her onto the bed, "I'm all packed."

"Oh." Was she still leaving? She said she'd be gone a few months. I couldn't handle a few months without her.

Still giggling, Bella jumped off my bed and started pulling out clothes from my dresser.

"What're you doing?" I sat on the bed and watched.

"Where's your suitcase?" she asked, never looking back at me.

"In the closet."

Bella pulled open my closet doors and grabbed my suitcase, placing it on the bed beside me. She threw my clothes in and I cringed, not happy with the way they were all crumpled together in a

ball. She then ran to the bathroom and came back with my toiletries, throwing them in the suitcase as well.

"Laptop," she said, looking around the room.

"It's in the living room."

She dashed out of the room, coming back a few seconds later with my laptop in her hands. "Suitcase or carry on?"

"Carry on," I said, still unsure what she was planning but hopeful it was what I'd jokingly suggested earlier.

"Where is it?"

"Where is what?"

She huffed. "Your carry on."

"Closet."

She scrounged through my shoes and other various things I could never find a home for and came up with a backpack. "This okay?"

"Perfect." "Okay, we're all set."

"All set for what?" It was hard to hide a smile, still hopeful for an upcoming trip.

"We're getting married. Me, you, Elvis Presley."

"I never agreed to marry Elvis."

"No, he's going to marry us to each other though. Come on." She pulled me from the bed and I shut my suitcase, grabbing it in one hand, holding onto Bella's hand in my other.

"I should tell Emmett. He'll need to reschedule my meetings"

"Call him from the airport."

I couldn't argue with that. I swooped in for one more kiss and then we were off, walking down the hall, hand-in-hand, to get married and I'd never felt so sure of anything before in my life.

THE END