Without a lot of mystical bull... crap.

I was really on to something this morning until the

[URL=http://my.opera.com/ellenjanuary/blog/2009/09/29/stupid-brain]stupid brain[/URL] woke up.
After beating my sense back into senselessness, I was able to summarize my journey thus far into a
clear, meaningful format. Let me know what you think.

Being a real prophet just means knowing when to stop acting like a stupid priest. This forum
has impressed me with its rational behavior, so if I am about to release one of those secrets of the
universe that are supposed to be so dangerous and no one gets all crazy, my faith in mankind shall
be vindicated. If not, mankind ain't worth saving.

The most important commandment in the Bible is, of course, the first one. Thou shalt have
no god before me. Philosophy declares, there must be reason. Every time a good priest speaks true,
a bad priest counters with the prince of lies. We all want to believe in the light, yet we are all afraid
of the dark. How is it possible to know truth? To know yourself, which ain't nearly as easy as it
sounds.

So, let us use what works. Science. The magic I bring to the table is the number four and my
love of Gwyneth Paltrow. Just remember, don't make it more complicated than it needs to be.

All of humanity can be reduced to two variables, you and me; but while everyone loves
simplicity, enlightenment is in knowing nothing. Allow me to expand these variables into terms
everyone should be able to work with. Let the set of me be expanded to contain the ellen who
speaks and the Gwynnite of absolute faith. Let the set of you be expanded to contain you the
individual of rational mind and Gwyneth Paltrow in the role of god beyond understanding. Now let
me speak from the heart with simple purity -

I love you beyond understanding.

I would burn in hell for you.

The truth behind the lies has always been the self. Philosophers can insist upon reason all
they want, it is obvious by now it is not a necessity. Yet we think we are reasonable because we live
in a physical universe. That is not true. We are reasonable because we have faith. I may be here to
put the god-like smackdown to religion, but that is not what is truly important. The single most
important commandment in the book of Gwynnite is to find and maintain personal integrity. Which
is still far from being "the ultimate truth," but enough for now that all rational minds should
consider these words. I don't know anything. I have faith. My words form the religion of Gwynnite,
and no religion can be true. Let's get to the facts.

No god is greater than tao. God has no need to be greater than tao to speak in tao to his
prophet. God is beyond understanding. There is no need for absolute truth, when there is true faith.
This faith can only exist when the self understands the self, and understands that there are always
going to be things beyond understanding. God exists, but that god can only be expressed to the self.
When others see god, they often forget to stop being god. They try to force their meaning by putting
words into the message. God stops nonsense by making real prophets. What does the Bible say?
What is truly important is what is not being said. The text doesn't say, no god before Yahweh. Real
prophets read the words of other real prophets to find real meaning. Christianity, with all its
righteousness, makes two critical blunders. The Bible is not the Word of God. The Bible is the word
of the prophets. The title of the book is not the book of Yahweh. It is book. It speaks most clearly of
god beyond understanding. It is no better or no worse than any other quality-made tool. No matter
what the priests want to try and scare you into believing, that book is merely a tool. Everybody
should be able to realize the truth of these words, just by putting aside irrational fear. After
thousands of years of translations, interpretations, controversy and Bible Study; the original author
can still still forge a quality tool that advances the purpose of the original, without taking a single
thing away. Just remember the beauty of simplicity as I lay down the law:

Keep the faith. Lose the word.

In the real world I do nothing else - nothing else - but sit in my hole and sing of my love of
Gwyneth Paltrow. The faith of the Gwynnite has no need to fear death as it was born when a regular
guy suddenly found a gun in his face and threw reason out the window to speak his last five words:

I love you, Gwyneth Paltrow

The truth of the Gwynnite religion is found by the Gwynnite's quest to maintain personal
integrity. I follow the tao. I never stop to consider being right before considering how I could
possibly be wrong. The end of suffering begins with laughter. I suffer by being out of balance; but I
express that suffering by playing the fool. In this little corner of the world, Gwyneth Paltrow is god
beyond understanding. Not in my mind, but in the real world. I have known this in the past because
no one - myself included - understands the love I feel for this poor girl. I say this now, because in
the real world, I have stopped spreading words; I have started to spread enlightenment.

I tell myself it wouldn't be anything if it wasn't everything. God made me a prophet

specifically to end the worship of prophets. The path the Gwynnite follows in the real world
illustrates the truth behind wordless meaning. I'm still on my soapbox, flapping my gums; my heart
is filled with joy even though my stupid brain struggles to word the unwording. I am laughed at,
ridiculed, and ignored - yet I do not proclaim my righteousness with words if my purpose is served
by being a fool. I serve a higher purpose by serving my faith, that whatever else I think I am doing,
everything else I do can be summarized by considering the totality of my existence as a wordless
act of love.

I'm here to thank you all. For laughing at me, for ridiculing me, for ignoring me; and this is
not sarcasm, this is gratitude. I'm a real human in that I have feelings just like any other. There are
times when I want to rail to the heavens - father, why have you forsaken me - but being a real
prophet has nothing to do with religion and everything to do with the real world. I may have gotten
the title from another, but the truth of that entitlement is not fear, but love. I stand on my faith that I
can better serve a higher purpose by playing the fool. I'd much rather be the prophet of the end of
time as a laughing fool than a being unnecessarily capitalized. Doesn't make be right, but it does
make me righteous. God was never about the suffering or the paradise, and always about keeping a
person's head out of his ass. God beyond understanding means just that: god beyond understanding.
Every single human being can find the truth of Gwynnite not in the words of the Gwynnite but in
the true word of god. All words are the words of god. Let's end the nonsense. Love opposes evil. We
really do not need divine authority to be truly moral, but it does seem we do need our symbols. For
that, the prophet is on the job.

Now, I greet every day with joy with a new vision of my future. That the truth of Gwynnite
will be revealed to the world when I go live; broadcast world-wide; and walk right into a real lake
of fire - and hopefully before Gwynnie even knows my name. A real man with a real ambition. This
is faith. This is joy. This is love. As for speaking for some grumpy, eternal being; do we really need
more of that? I have said my last five words. Get it? I ain't saying a thing. :D