Can you speak English? Can you REALLY speak English?

For this post title I am indebted to Jc who created it as a signature for his posts.

Jc is an active coordinator of LibriVox.org who recently had the coup de gnie of proposing to the LibriVox volunteers to record The Chaos.

The Chaos is a poem by Gerard Nolst Trenit where all (or most of) the inconsistencies of the English spelling-pronunciation are skilfully gathered creating a nice and amusing result.

I daresay that even English mother tongue readers might find some difficulty in this poem.

While you can read the poem at WikiSource and listen to some recordings at LibriVox I propose here a phonetic transliteration.

Some remarks:

As there is not a unique and universal English pronunciation, I chose the pronunciation given by Daniel Jones in his English Pronouncing Dictionary (London and New York 1967). I interpreted "corps" as plural: it sounds nicer to me. Of course the singular presents two incongruities instead of one. "Aye" is a homograph: it is pronounced [ei] when it means "ever" and [ai] for "yes". I chose the latter because I find it funnier to have a string of four [ai]! I also interpreted "housewife" as "sewing box" [hzif]; in the more usual meaning the pronunciation wouldn't have presented any oddity. [The Chaos, by Gerard Nolst Trenit; phonetic transliteration by Sergio Baldelli] keis dirist krit* in kriin stdi inli prnniin ai will tit ju in mai vs saundz laik cps cz hs nd ws ai wil kip ju susi bizi meik j hed wi hit ru dizi ti* in ai j* dres wil t* su l ai u hi* mai pr* dst kmp* ht bid nd hd daiz nd dait ld nd wd sd nd swd ritein nd britn maind lt* hau its ritn nau ai uli wil nt plei ju wi st wdz z plk nd eiju bt bi krfl hau yu spik sei breik nd steik bt blik nd strik kluvn vn hau nd lu skript risit u slu puim nd tu hi* mi sei divid v trikeri dt* lft* nd tpsikri taifid mizlz topslz ailz eksailz similiz rivailz skl* vik* nd sia* sul* maik w* nd f* wn nemni blmrl

kitn laikn lndri lrl trud dmn wind nd maind sin mlpmini mankaind bilit dz not raim wi blei bukei wlit mlit lei bld nd fld * not laik fud n* iz muld laik ud nd wud visks vaikaunt lud nd brd twd t fowd t riwd nd jo* prnnsiin z u kei wen ju krektli sei krukei raundid wundid riv nd siv frend nd find laiv nd liv aivi privi feims klm* nd inm* raim wi hm* riv* raivl tum bm kum dl nd rul nd sm nd hum streind* dz not raim wi n* nai dz divau* wi kln* sulz bt faul hnt bt nt fnt frnt wunt wnt rnd nd rnt uz uz dz nau fst sei fi* nd en si* dind* lin* ril zil muv z aud nd eid mrid fuliid mir nd eid kwiri ds not raim wi veri n dz fjuri saund laik beri dst lost pust nd d cl lu dub nob busm trnsm u u difrnsiz sim litl wi sei ktul bt vitl rif* dz nt raim wi def* fef* dz nd zef* hef* mint paint senit nd sideit dl bul nd dod et leit sinik rbik psifik sains knns saintifik libti laibrri hv nd hevn reitl eik msta ilevn wi sei hlud bt laud pipl lepd tud bt vaud mk difrnsiz mruv* bitwin muv* cv* kluv* litiz britiz waiz prisais tlis bt plis nd lais kml knstbl nsteibl prinspl disaipl leibl petl pnl nd knl weit spraiz plt prmis pl wm nd stom eiz keis t* sent* spekteit* m* tu bt au* nd sk* fo* s ls nd knso* si aidi kri ri sm mri bt mlri yu sau sn klenz nd klin dktrin tpntain mrin kmp* eilin wi itlin dndilain nd btlin sli wi lai jei ji ai ai ai ai wei nd ki sei v* bt ev* fiv* nai* le* skein disiv* hern rnri knri krevis nd divais nd ri feis bt prefis not ifeis flem flemtik s ls beis ld bt tit din iv vdin

t aut daust nd skau* skdin i* bt n nd w* nd t* du not raim wi hi* bt * sevn iz rait bt su iz ivn haifn rfn nevju stivn mnki dnki tk dk sk rsp wsp nd kk nd wk prnniin ink v saiki iz peili staut nd spaiki wunt it meik yu luz j* wits raiti ruts nd sei rits its dk bis * tnl strun wi stunz stud sls nl izlitn nd ail v wait hzif vdikt nd indait fainli wit raimz wi inf u ru plau o* du * kf hikp hz saund v kp mai dvais iz t iv p
Posted by Sergio Baldelli at 12:29 PM

4 comments:

Jc said... Awwww, I am being quoted!! Great post! Now I shall have to go and review my recording... LOL
December 13, 2008 at 4:33 PM

Sergio said... Hello Jc,

Thank you for posting a comment.

I definitely don't think you should review your recording. Daniel Jones' dictionary reports the British Received Pronunciation which is only one option among others.

Cheers
December 13, 2008 at 7:12 PM

Long Branch Free Public Library said... Wonderful attempt Sergio, although, as Jc herself said, there are many phrasings that are, well, disputable. Still, it was a gallant effort.

The poem, is more than tricky to pronounce; it's also at times horrid verse. Some lines are little more than illogical sequences of sounds. BUT, it was (is) after all, fun.

I believe I could record it once a week for a year and come up with 56 interpretations and 146 different deliveries. Think I'll try it next time with a Tibetan accent. No, better yet, with a Xhosa accent!

All and all, it works fine with an American accent, even without the usual twists one must make to set it right.