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Marko Vidojkovic

THE DANCE OF
SMALL-TIME DEMONS
NARODNA KNJIGA
ALFA
2004.

!'he Original Title in Scrhian
Marko Vidojkovic
PLES SITNIH DEMONA
Tramlatcd h\
Dorde Jankovic
Tmnslation acfl ism
Marko Yidojkm ic
t_nglish version
f:'ditor ww Pruofieudu
Chris Farmer
Cop)right by Marko VIdojko\lc.
JSBN X6-3' l-09.\4-4
Translallon C\lp)Ii,ht for sec; {' ALI.\. 21)()_,
\II nght' I't"Cncd. '\io pan nf tlm puhlication mav l'e repr"dnccd
'>tOfC(J in a rctrinal \V\t,:m. or transmitted in <rill form or by any !llcam.
ck ... tronH.:. nK,:hanll-;_.tl, rccordint: o! utller;.
\1 illwut the priPr pem1i"iun nf t:K pulihhl'r
We un tli..: fhnvci in anJ LHgd:-.
Square, and looking at what was going on around us. It was the
very end of Au gmt. and the school year was just about to begin.
But neither Bata nor I had exams to make up, so we could spend
our last days of \aeation hanging out in the street. On the !lower
stands in the Republic Square. on the steps ncar the Philosophy
Department. on the steps near the Construction Bureau on 29th
No\ember Street. 111 the yard of the Mental Health on
Palmoticeva Street. and in a million other yards. stoops, flower
stands, and garbage cans set around. We were only sitting and
hanging out - ragged, na"ivc, and worthless. We were convinced
that we were punks <JS much as one could be at age fifteen. I had
met punks greater than we were who were fifty and older. But
we were officially stinking punks, and no one questioned what
the hell we were up to sitting in the street for hours and looking
around. We were nearly sixteen; we were nearing the second year
of high school; we were in the middle of 1991.
We sat like that for two or three hours and agreed that a few
chicks from our class from junior high had really put on some
tits and some attitude since last year. I guess the first year of
high school could definitely turn you away from wearing the fa-
shion hits produced by your parents. As early as the eighth grade,
a teenager would take a stab at revolt. but it all ended up tragi-
6
Marko Vidojkovic'
comically. In the yard, you had people with safety-pms attached
to their pink sweaters, or Sex Pistols sweatshirts over velvet
pants. One year later, the velvet pants and pink sweJtCr'. were lcfl
home for mothers to look on with sadness. recalling the good
clays when their kid was normal.
"Sonja ... Sonja really looks great." Bata said.
"Yeah."
''Jasna too'
"Yeah."
"Verica and Nacla failed the year.'
"Oh.
He rambled on about them, listing five or so names from our
class and eighty-five from other classes. They had all turned into
punks. The age of miracles. All of a sudden. from the darkness
emerged a chick. She was coming from Terazije Street. There was
no way she could avoid walking by us.
'Look,'" I told Bata.
A chick.'' said he.
"Yeah."
"A hot chick.''
'Yeah, yeah."
"She's coming over."
''She either has to come over to us or rush into the traffic.
She's got no other choice."
us."
"There have been chicks who would choose the traffic over
"There were. but this one wi II come ...
"Hey. she's smiling at us."
"What?"
''She smiled at us. What are we going to do'?''
We found ourselves in a situation where a girl had smiled at
us. We panicked. No one had ever smiled at us. We looked des-
perate, like someone's tiny farts. Girls never sent smiles to such
The Dance of Small-Time Demons 7
----
guys, even when they looked like someone's farts themselves.
This one wasn't that way. This one looked good. This one was
smiling at us.
"What's next? Is she gonna come over?'' I asked.
She came to us slowly. Bata got nervous and started nudg-
ing me with his elbow. She stopped about a half a meter in front
of us, stood over me, and gave me her hand.
"Hi."
I only watched her. I was a punk. Tenderness was not
allowed.
"My condolences," she said with a flush and sympathetic
face.
What was this now. I thought. Bad humllr, provocation, my
gross appearance? My hair stank of beer. but the haircut was a
Sid Vicious original.
"What did you say')" I asked her, doing my best to screw up
a frown.
well ... I said ... My condolences."
""I heard that. But why'? You're fucking with me. right?''
''No, no! Don't you know?"
I looked at Bata expecting that he'd solve the mystery. He
just shrugged.
"Listen, babe, what's your deal coming up strangers in the
street and talking nonsense?" I told her.
"Strangers?"
''Yes."
"Strangers??"
"YES!"
"Boban, I'm your cousin."
"What?"
I was sitting on the flower stand, looking in all directions. I
looked at her for a couple of seconds in disbelief, and then I
heard Bata laughing. I elbowed him.
8
Marko Vidojkovic'
"Cousin'/" l said. more to myself, and then it c:.tme tu me.
She was the daughter of some aunt of mine on my father's side.
Naturally, there was no way I could remember her name There
wa\ no '>Vay J cuuld remember her mother's name. There was IW
way I could remember anyone's name while I looking at her
legs.
"'When was the last time I saw vou'
1
" ! ;tskcd her
"At your grandfather's funeral - a Jgn."
She was talking about the funeral of my father's father.
''Yeah. And now who died?"
"Well. ynur grand1:1othcr died. Didn't they tell you'
She was most probably speaking about Grandma Stanka, my
father's mother. My father hadn't lived with my mother and rne
for a couple of years, but we were in touch enough that I could
expect to hear about stuff like the death ot my own grandmoth-
er.
"No. no one told me. When'!"
"Yesterday:
Y esterday'l' Grandma had been dead for a whole day and no
one had told me anything' Well' When I spent the whole day in
the street' I started laughing. First a giggle, then I cack-
ling like mad. Bata started laughing too. He probably JUSt remem-
bered some joke. My cousin didn't laugh. She began to say some-
thing, but I just waved her off. She left. Bata and I laughed and
watched her parting ass and her parting legs.
*
We sat some more, and then leisurely headed off to our
respective homes. Bata lived in the residential blocks of New
Belgrade. He moved there in seventh grade, but he stayed in our
school with us. He commuted ten kilometers every day to school
by bus, and after school we sat near the Construction Bureau,
The Dance of Smoii-Iimc Demom
drank JUice. ate crisps and contemplated the hardships ut the lite
that awaited At this moment, leaving each other at the crJrner
ncar the Youth Center. that life seemed sp d1stam: \et ,, : \1er.
already confronted with burning prc;blems. l waited for tilt bus
with him. and then crn:;sed the strec.'t to wait tor my hus. I \\ <J'-
consistent every evening in dodging the hus fare to go onlv ow
stop lt \\ ould have takL'll me as long to \\.iii lur I he hu-.
and ride home than to walk. I stood at the bus stop and lo<lked
at the tWlHneter Bata hunched over Ill the accurdil)n bus. the
that was making its turn into the tunnel.
Someone approached me from behind and put her h:lllds on
my eyes. Small soft hands. They were cuvered with ring:-. whusc
sharper edges puked my face. I grasped the small sort hands and
removed them from my face. 1 turned. An;L
Ana was short with raven hair. my age. Wt went to the l ;i\\
and Administratiun School together. but we didn't officially llll'l'l
until the last day of the first year. She was an orthodox htppic
and I was an orthodox punk. On that last day of the year, e\ery-
one was drinking wine in the schoolyard: she approached me and
we met. l didn't drink wine. J drank nothing but Coca-Cola at
the time, and when my grandmother died, on that August night,
I was still drinking nothing but Coca-Cola. As Is often the case
when you meet someone new, we very easily found one hundred
and fifty things in common. Then she i'Ot dead drunk on the
wine, and I went home.
Now she stood by me at the bus stop, all keyed up, in a hip-
pie tunic, flared trousers, and green All Stars. With beads every-
where. When l turned, she hugged me. I hugged her back and
couldn't help noticing her tits pressing against the upper part of
my stomach. Quite nice tits. I was filthy and full of filthy
thoughts. We waited for the bus. I asked her where she had been.
she told me she had been sitting at the "Phil" that night. That
was an open square near the Department of Philosophy, where
10
Marko Vidojkovi(
groups of hippies used to gather, smoking grass and drinking
wine. She was one of them. I was a punk, and I wasn't inter-
ested in hippies. But this hippie was cute and was glVlng me a
hug.
"Where have you been?" She ~ k e d me.
'Tve been hanging around here at the Square. I'm on my
way home."
''What's nev/l We haven't seen each other all summer, she
-:ounded as though we had been inseparable before the summer
vacation.
"My grandmother died."
''Oh .,
"That\ exactly what I said. Which bus arc you waiting for
here'?"
"The 67. I am going to tlw Youth Stadium, 1hcn catching the
I 01 for home.''
"The 10 l. fuck. \vhere does that goJ"
"Padinjak. Which bus are you waiting for'J"
"Any I am only going one stop. I don't feel like walking."
"You're so silly. ha-ha."
Silly, yes. The 67 came, and we got on. I stood with my
back against the door, and Ana stood on the step above me, keep-
ing her hands on my shoulders. She was talking about the make-
up Math exam that she had in two days. and her beads were
swinging to and fro. hitting me on the nose. She was talking, and
I was gaping at her breasts and bottom. I got off at the first stop,
unsettkd.
It was warm, not so unusual since it was summertime, but
summers could be cold and warm in Belgrade, winters could be
burning and chilly. and life could be a shit and a flower.
*
--
The Dance of Smull- Time Denwns I 1
As soon as I got home, ! dropped my drawers and got to
work. I chose at random one of the porno which were
stashed underneath my bed ;mel tlipped through the page,. 'earch
ing for a girl who looked like Ana. I kept turning the pages. but
their breasts were all too large or legs too thin or hair too long.
The music was blaring. The Pistols. I threw the magazine on the
!1oor, put my hand back under the bed. and found a iicw nne. I
started turning pages again. I sat on the bed, my underwear pulled
down, and tried to find an imaginary rape victim. But the victim
had to he Ana, and not one of the damned girls looked like her.
Someone began to make banging sounds against the radiator bars.
One of the neighbors. The loud music at midnight seemed to
bother them. I stood up. bare-assed with shorts and underwear
round my ankles, and shuffled up to the radiator. I took the elec-
tric guitar which was leaning against the wall and hanged it
against the radi:ttor a couple of times. The complaints slOpped.
The neighbor went to sleep. I got hack into bed. T sLtt"lt'd tum
ing the pages of the magazine again. Then I heard tapping
again, but this time against the wall. They were coming from my
mother's room. l first turned the volume up a little, and then l
hanged my fist on the wall several times. The tapping stopped,
but my concentration had totally dissipated. l lay down, threw the
magazine on the floor and tried to reach a new one with my hand.
but l touched something that was not a magazine. A photo. I
pulled it out. A dusty photograph of my mother. my father and
me on a summer vacation in Dubrovnik. I was about ten, and
already then you could tell I wouldn't he the type to find a girl
like Ana in a porno magazine. I looked like a tiny, carefree lit-
tle shiL snugly wrapped up in a peaceful childhood. My
father and mother looked happy in the photograph, but I remem-
ber clearly how they argued even then. On every occasion, every-
where. They tried to hide that anything was wrong from me. but
the furious hissing and grumbling coining from their room. usn-
12
-------------"
Marko Vidojkovir'
-------------------
ally at night when nothing else could be heard. grated in my ears.
It lasted tor a couple of years, and one day they informed me
they were divorcing. They didn 'r give the reasons in anv detail
whether one had ,heated on the other. or whether they Jll.';t got
on each other" s nerves. In the end, my father wa, the one to
leave. He left u' everything - the tlat. the car_ He just took his
clothes and left_ It looked like <! classic headlong tl1ght He man-
aged to escape from us.
The next day mother gm e up too She closed herself in her
room and watched TV. She had also escaped. I was left alone.
Although I had a father in New Belgrade t ~ h l a mother m the
next room. I was alone. I guess they thought that my having
straight As in school was enough to get me onto the right path
on my own. By some miracle. it worked out for me. I became a
punk: I was tiee. l could do whatever I wanted. nn one gave me
a hard time.
l examined the photograph carefully, and then I remembered
of a piece of food caught between my two lower left molars that
had been irritating me for days. 1 put the photograph between the
two teeth and made a left-right movement with it. It slid between
the Leeth and expelled the intruder. An unexpected use from an
old photograph full of hypocrites. I threw it on the floor and
picked up another porno magazine. I started turning the pages, in
search of the girl who most looked like Ana.
The next morning my father called me to say that grand-
mother had died. l asked how it had happened, and he answered
that two mornings before he had taken her to the clinic for a rou-
tine check-up. She entered the doctor's office, while he stayed in
the waiting room and lit a cigarette. Then he saw doctors and
nurses running down the corridors, and soon after he saw his
F
The Dance Small-Time Demons
13
-------- --- ---------
mother being taken out of the office on a stretcher. He was told
that she had dropped dead the moment she walked in.
That was my third encounter with death. First :t kid fwm my
class died of brain tumor. in seventh grade. After that grand-
father died of heart attack. and now my grandmother died oi
going to the clinic. People around me were dying. a sign that I
myself was not so young any more. l was all of fifteen.
The funeral was scheduled for that day. and 1 had to catch
the next bus to New Belgrade as soon as possible. Since my par-
ents had divorced. my father lived with my grandparents. and now
- as of two agu - l1e It ved ,dune in their flat. l went tc
lunch there regularly on Sundays. At first it wa-, to see him,
grandmother. and grandfather. then him and grandmother. and it
seemed I'd go only to see him the next weekend. It was JUSt last
Sunday that 1 saw my grandmother for the last time. She did not
seem out of the ordinary at alL and the food had heen 2'ood
enough.
1 got oft the bus and walked down the I had un ,bon,.
a T -shirt. and All Star high-tops. Bad Religion was playing in my
Walkman, and I had beer in my hair. I was the only punk in the
universe whose only use for beer was for fixing his hair. I decid-
ed to stir up some kind of shit on the way to door.
I came up to the newspaper kiosk and stole the first thing I could
grab. l simply went on walking, and the kiosk woman ran out
after me yelling, "Thief. thief!'' At first it all looked hannless,
but when I turned I saw three other men running after me. One
was older and after twenty meters he was already grabbing his
chest, but the other two were in better shape. and they could kick
my as> easily. I started running. They ran after me. The men ran
without a word, with determination, but the saleswoman kept
yelling, 'Thief. thief!" Rushing away from them. I cast a quick
glance at the magazine i had :;tolen. The Practical Wife. Life
sucks. They wanted to kick my ass for a women's magazine. I
14 Marko V(dojkovic'
~
was young and vigorous, and the space between me and my pur-
suers slowly stretched out, and I had run past my grandmother's
entrance a long time before that. As I was running, I tore up the
magazine and threw the pieces on the sidewalk. I kept running a
little further and then I realized that the woman and the two men
had stopped by the torn magazine. I looked up and saw
Belgrade's Western Gates*. They looked the same as they had
been ten years ago. They were awash with sun.
I circled around the block so as not to come across the sales-
woman or the two men accidentally. Finally l got to grandmoth-
er's building and went in the side entrance. An older woman was
waiting for me there. She blocked my path.
"This is a bad business, Boban," she told me.
'Get out of my way, witch."
''This is a bad business. l saw everything. I'll tell your
father. .. "
''Will you gcr out of my face. bitch
1
Who are you anyway?"
''What do you mean who am P Don't you recognize me.>
"You're not some cousin, are you?"
She glared at me, appalled. She looked as though she were
my mother, and she was dismayed because I couldn't recognize
her. Still, she was not my mother. I was sure of that. f was almost
ninety percent ~ u r e of it. Then she stepped out of my way and
let me pass. She stayed downstairs.
When I entered the flat, without knocking, without ringing
the bell, without a mourning suit, everyone was shocked. That
was my goal, and I triumphantly passed though the hall, entered
the living room. and said hello. I didn't see my father. One man
came over to get me out of the flat. "Young man, please, this is
a funeral you know ... " I pushed him aside and continued to nose
about the flat. No one looked familiar to me, everyone anony-
* See Glossary, p. 217
I
I
I
li
J
mous. 1 found my old man in the kitchen eating a sandwich.
When he noticed me, he just nodded. The other man came after
me, still trying to get me out of the flat. "Boy. please, under-
stand, it is ... "
"Who's this loser'
1
Get him off my back," f told my father.
"Bosko, that's my s011, the punk. Grandson of the deceased.
Maybe he looks like a jerk. but he "s got the right to be with u ~ .
Get off his back."
Bosko stood for a moment, opened his mouth as if to say
something and then scratched his head and went back to the
room.
"Who's that guy anyway'
1
" I asked my father.
''That's your uncle."
"What fucking uncle? My uncle's name is not Bosko."
'Why must you be so tiring'
1
He "s not your uncle by blood.
What does it matter who he is after alP'
"It doesn't. And do you know who the old woman all in
black with the hooked nose i ~ ~ 1 came across her and :,he was
talking crap."
"No idea."
''The one all in black, with a hooked nose."
"No idea. Why did you wear that'' You look like an ass, and
we are supposed to go to the cemetery.''
"Dad, it's hot. I had to put on shorts.''
"Yes, it's hot."
He went on eating his sandwich. He wasn't too excited, or
at least he didn't look too excited. I went out of the kitchen and
hung out in the living room. People started coming to me. They
all had the same moon-like faces, they ::ill spoke in hushed tones
and were all very kind.
"Really, Boban, it's such a tragedy," a woman said.
"Yeah," I said.
"To go in such a way, poor woman." an old lady said.
16
Marko
"There are some who go in much worse ways. ma':J.m-" I
said. . ,
1
,. A
"Your poor father. How is he holdmg up, younger guy
asked me.
"There he is, eating a sandwich,'' I pointed out.
Very unpleasant people, a very unpleasant atmosphere. I went
out to the terrace. We were on the third floor. I looked down and
1 spat at random. and then 1 saw that crazy \VOman who had
blocked my way in. I ran to the kitchen and called my father. He
wasn't really in the mood for action, but he walked out to the
terrace with me all the same The woman w:J.s gone.
she was there, dad, I swear'''
''Listen. f am willing to take the punk business :md the music
and idiotic haircuts. but as long as you don't sta11 doing
What are you doing to me?"
''No, man. I'm not doing drugs. She was there, one hundred
percent. She was standing downstairs, in front of the entrance.
She must\t: gone somewht:rc."
"Right. she must have: my father said and went back inside.
*
The funeral went okay. I only had a minor argument with my
father about listening to my Walkman at the cemetery. I was
ht)(>kcd on Bad Religion and was li<>tening to them every chance
I got. I was a confirmed atheist, so the cemetery customs did not
interest me much. but my father said he would not give me my
allowance if I didn't shut off the Walkman for half an hour at
least. I put my earphones in the pocket and suffered in silence.
New Bezanija cemetery was full of graves. ravens, and wind. The
wind was blowing in all directions. It was irrepressible and
It ruined my hair. From the spot where they buried grand-
father. and now grandmmher too. you could clearly see airplanes
P'
The Dance u{ SmuLl- Titllc i-Junon.\
----------------------------- -
landing at Sur.::in :_mpun ;mJ the: tops uf iJud\l!i,:,.,., .:,
Belgrade. A vt:ry melancholy With a caimrh'.'' io ,,n,;lhc
the nervous. I nerv\ll'' \w! it !Jdn 'r ,tfw ,.",.
After the cemetery. there the: \,akt: at 111\ lJiiiu: riat.
The same unknown people. 'he same gl<K
1
1l1)' atrn Ch11:ks
were nowhere to be kJund. and e\en if there had fk,'n ''ny. thty ,j
probably have turned md :; he Ill\ .:lllsilh .11 .P.iii'--- :1, :Jmd-
mothers. There wasn't ev<>n thai cousin one \Vhtl had tPid 1w: last
night about grandmother's black destiny. I would never f,-,;!ive
her that she (and her legs) didn't en me tn ihl:' funeral
I got on the 65 and rode hack to the city. I managed :r, get
some money off my father for ditching the Walkman ;1! tiJn luner-
al, so I decided to go to the SCC w huy a ncrrd In
those days. people sold on .o,tard< in trnn! n
1
the S( C
cassettes were rare, and Cf)s diJn 't exi\t Th,:v '"let rh, 111
on empty of heer l Vt,lled ti1<1t place nny 0a_1 and
every time I left with a rtCilid. This time I hllu!'li: TliL'
Subterranean Jungle. Great cover. ! sat at the ;top near the
London casino. I wasn't waiting for the hus, there wen: plenty ,,f
buses. I was waiting for who-knew,-what from who-knows-what-
direction. In the meantime, l looked at girb. It was and
they were scantily I was a teenager and obsessed with
them. I sat and looked at them. but they seldom tooled at me.
My face was riddled with acne. whiLh probably not nice for
anyone to see, especially girls. But I kept iooking at them from
behind all the pimples, and from time to time it happened that
some chick looked back. It would last for a couple of seconds,
but it was never more than a look. I didn't want it to go further.
I wasn't bold enough to go further. It was enough for me to
exchange a few glances. I knew I would never meet them m met-
ropolitan Belgrade again, and even if I did meet them again, we
would only exchange glances.
/8 Marko Vidojkovic'
Sthllt after tbt: sg bus pulled up. which went from the London
cac;ino directly to my buiiding. i got on and sat down. Someone
:;ppnnd:ul nw from behind and covered mv eve' with their
ktnds. Small soft hands. There were no rings this time. but l
immediately reco;rnizcd them. I took the hands and turned. Ana
was standmg with that smile c1f hers. She had on a T-shirt with
visibly JJU!hmg undemeath. l clenclwd my teeth and stiffened my
jaw. defeated by the scenery. She sat on my lap and kissed my
check so hard that it hurt.
''Huw come you're here'
1
" She asked me.
"l \V:ts ~ t my grandmother's funeral."
'In <,hurts and a T-shirt'
1
"
"Yes.''
"W!th the recor,JT
"No. I've ju\t bought the record.''
The kamuncs. I love The Ramones"
"OiL yeah'/ Me too. Where were you.)"
"On Ada beach. It's terribly hot. Now I'm going home."
:\fter that we stopped talking. The second encounter in two
days was enough to provoke a state of dilemma. I got off the bus
at my stop. anJ when it passed me at the traffic light, Ana was
waving to me from the window. I waved back and went home.
*
Nothing was gomg on for a couple of days. Bata and I sat
on the steps and philosophized. Once we tried to discuss how
time and space were endless, but it gave me a headache when I
tried to picture what it looked like when space was endless and
when time was endless. I got a headache; time and space WERE
endiess. When you set things like that, everything that happens
to you seems more and more senseless. and it is much easier to
,.
The Dance of Small-Time Demons
------------------------- -- --------------
relax and stir up shit everywhere. Time and space are great a!!Jcs
to anarchists, as long as they don't think about them.
Finally, we sat in the Republic Square and watched a mupic
of metalheads sitting on the sidewalk at point blank range. near
the Zagreb restaurant. They were mean looking. in tight denims
and high-top Pumas. They were completely relaxed and didn't
give a shit about anyone. Not even abom us. TheY were ](Joking
at us and we at them. hut no one did anything but look. Altl!out!h
regulations said that punks hated everyone and that even-one
hated them. especially hippies and metalheads. Bata ;tnd ! didn t
hate these metalheads. and they didn't hale us either We were
probably in the same shit. Bata had been saying for a ye:1r and
a half that he was not a punk. but only listened tn H
1
c 11i!:,1 . ll
seemed that 1 was not a punk either: I only sat in the )u;\k-
ing at chicks and listening to Bad Religion Pn my Walkman I
was something much worse than a punk.
At half past ten, I stood up from the flowt'r and :old
Bata it was time to go home. He wasn't suspecting anything. '>O
he too stood up and headed to the bus stop with me. I didn t
want to admit it to myself either. but 11 was obvious that I was
trying to set up a new meeting with Ana. Bata was on the bus.
and I was crossmg the street. Ana was there already. This time
I approached her from the back, and put my hands on her
She pushed them away furiously, and turned away, disgusted. My
hands must have stunk of the beer I used to fix my hair. When
she saw who it was, she started laughing and then she clung to
my neck. Tits were again pressing against my stomach She told
me she had passed her make-up exam in Math, 1 acted like I was
happy about it. and then the bus came. We got on. We were rid-
ing and she asked me to walk her to the top of the line for the
101. Naturally, I said yes. She wanted us to exchange phone
numbers because she had the feeling we would get along on the
phone. I agreed. She wondered how I would write down her num-
2() Marko Vidojkovic
t'er \\ 1wn uhin 't a penciL and l told her I remembered all
phone JH!lnbcrs. ! lied. In all my life I never managed to remem-
hc'' 1Hrt' f:1cc nne phone. floor. or nn(' house number. Her
telephone number was the first and last one I memorized in my
life. The bt!S -;!upped at !he next traffic light and then went one
1nore stup. l terriblv unsettled at the next traffic light because
\na 't(l\l[il'U Jcwn t11 tie her shoelace. her tits were both watch-
ing r11e from the cleavage and the top of ht:r bottom was watch-
Hlf! me frmn her jeans. By the next stop, I in love. When
iht: iJU\ C\'tnTuallv arrived at the end of the line, where the 67
ended and tlw lUI began, l was head over heels in love. I was
Ana w:1s telling me something, but r was so obsessed
th<:l l froze, m,Jble to follow my own train of thought. A tem-
was hluwing in my mmd, buffetmg my thoughts from one
d my brain tu the other: Ana ... tit<: . legs .. ass ... Ana ...
'l."lhJnl.. tih. .. ... ass.
"'What s why .trc you 'o qUtct?" She asked me
"Uh ... oh .. ouch ...
"Yn1 n_ -,o ;illy. he-he l1e:"
"He-he he, oh. ouch ... ouch
1
"'
'Get on the bus with me until it leaves to keep me compa-
We got on the 10 I. It was empty. There was no one else on
the bus. no: even the driver. We sat. Ana was saying something
abqut Thf Doors. abou: the full moon, about school. I tried to
remain calm as I could. Then she fell silent. I was silent too.
Then she squeezed up against me. She was looking at me. I felt
it. l looked back at her. We were looking at each other and it
wa> th' perfect moment to hug and kiss. Impossible, given the
state I was in. Impossible. l never mustered the nerve, and the
dri\'er got on and started the bus. The spell was broken. I didn't
seize the moment, but r thought I'd soon be given another one.
f'
The Dance of Small-Time Demons 2 J
------- -----------------
Maybe tomorrow, maybe the day after tomorww. And then \Orne-
thing knocked me on the head telling me, "Maybe never. I wa'
a damned idiot. a chicken. and a pussv. A fake punk, a false
human being, a he<Jp of dog shit in short';, T-shirt. and high-top
All Stars.
Just then a bunch of suspicious looking guys got on the bu'
They were all gray: 12ray face<;. gray clothes. gray finger\. They
were looking at me because I was not gray. and they scared the
hell out of me. I asked Ana who they ,,crt>, am! she \aid they
were all like that in Padinjak. I decided to get off the bus. She
kissed me on the cheek and went t.o Padmska Skela.
I got off the bus which immediately drove away. and l caught
the 67. It was the same 6 7 we rode to the bus terminal. ! t was
supposed to start back to New Belgrade and leave me in front of
my building on the way. I stared at the scat\ and handles They
were empty. gray. and dull, but they obviously had bigger balls
than me. They wordlessly called me names and they were
absolutely right. I tolerated their insults during the ride and got
off at the third stop. I stood in front of my building and won-
dered if there was any point in entering, waiting tor the elevator.
riding it up nine floors, and then lying in bed and falling asleep.
Summer JY91 was the last summer when the open-air restau-
rant of the sec was still open. It was a kind of open-air dis-
cotheque with a million young people sitting in it, talking, and
listening to punk, metal, or whatever music they dared to play.
The night before the beginning of the new school year, Bata and
I went there. As usual, it was overcrowded. They played alterna-
tive music, which brought smiles to our faces. You could meet
anyone there. The entire grade school, half the high school. the
22
Marko \lid(}jkovic:
punks, the hippies, the meta!heads, and everyone else. f would
come across guys fmm grade school one by one, finding out that
most of them still stank, that they still wore \dvet pants and pink
sweaters. Asses and mules, arrested development. They were
looking at me like I was a walking miracle. l looked more and
more extreme ev:c:ry day. 1 was not that extravagantly dressed, but
my face and my whole appe:mmce showed that something was
obviously wrong with me. They came up to nJC and asked ho\\
I had finished the first year. and when 1 retorted that I had passed
with an excellent 4.53 out of 5" they all s1ghed and thought:
That's tilt old Boban, it's just the light here casting some odd
shadow. How 1 managed to have that fucking average mark wasn "t
clear to me. I didn't care much, I didn't ask for it, or deserve it,
and l could not remember a single lesson in any subject, but I
managed to pass with "excellent". And other people failed in my
Yes. people failed in the Law and Administralion School.
I was simply embarrassed to be excellent. At that moment I knew
that l was not even in a state to be good. 1 was not the old
Boban. but how to explain that to someone in a pink sweater and
veh'ct pants') The music was good. We sat on the ground and
tened. There were girls, but not in our lives. not less than two
meters away from us. They always tried to keep their distance
from my breed of acne or shoes like Batas. Since our last meet-
ing, Ana appeared once or twice in my mind, but not with a par-
ticular emotion. They loosened a bit. I decided to put off the
whole thing until the beginning of the school year.
In the SCC open-air restaurant I noticed some guys from my
grade school who had turned into punks in the meantime. They
drank and smoked. I didn't drink, and I didn't smoke either. They
looked so innocent at the end of grade school, when we were all
going wild over The Ramones and arguing with the neighbor-
hood, but now all of a sudden they stood in front of us, creased
with :-:cars from razor blades, from putting cigarettes out on their
r
The Dance of 5'mall- Time Delllons 23
----- ------------------------------------ ------
hands, ready for anything. There a guy called Borko. whc'
I'd known kinderpmen, and a certain Dule. who I also
kn<:W from kindergarten. Borkn used to he a cool guy. Who
would have guessed he J turn out to be a turJ'l He had Lil\ likl
me, and so I liked him at the fl1r it, and he was a Red Star'
fan too. Dulc was another story. He went tu the same sciwol
me and Bata and had been showing glints of beha\ ior
ever sim.e he was a kid. Once. for in:,tance. he stuck :.1 pencil in
my eye. He also had the habit, during recess, of standing on a
desk, covering his eyes with one hand and holding a pair of com-
passes in the other. Then he would spin around. ;.JIIJ ,bout.
"'I don't give a shit if you get hit,"" and then he'd throw the com-
passes. The compasses would stick into the duoL the board,
:,we;.Hers, and sometimes intu the hands and leg'; of our class-
mates. Dule and f hung out for a couple of .. but we grew
further apart during the la:-.t years of grade school. Still. he was
there. with hail up to his and everyone called him Dec Dee.
after Dee Dee Ramonc. The R.amones held a special piace 111 uur
downfall. We said hello tu each other, and he told me that he
haJ just left the hospital where he had been sent for spitting up
blood. He drank like a fish and smoked three packs a day.
Eventually it all finished in blood. He was drinking beer again in
the sec restaurant' and there was a cigarette hanging from his
lip. He liked Partisan
1
'. Then Bata and I left for home. It was
late. There were no buses, no 95. 67 or 101, and he started for
home on foot. I accompanied him to the bridge. Later 1 turned
to Dorcl)l and soon found myself in front of my entrance. There
was no chance I could have met Ana that night, but I had the
strange feeling it would happen anyway. It didn't happen.
That was the last time I went to the SCC yard. Actually, the
yard was later used for concerts and on Sundays for exchanging
records and discs under the popular name "Stock but
it never again served as an open-air discotheque. It was swal-
24 Marko Vidojkovic
lowed up by the war and the neighborhood that never stopped
complaining about the loud music, sending police patrols to the
yard to silence the racket.
*
The first few days of school were spent playing hooky. The
registers were not yet filled. there were no lists of students, there
was no way to see who was there and who wasn't. I wasn't. In
the first year I didn't hang around with hardly anyone. My friend-
ships were based mainly on choice of music, and there was no
one in my class who could remotely resemble a punk. Tme. there
were very few guys in the Law and Administration School, so
the choice was rather limited. Out of forty students in my class.
only seven were equipped with a penis. The team was not bad.
but I simply didn't see them as big pals last year. I was repul-
sive and, to them, for the most part, I was like some grotesque
mascot. Girls would give me money at snack time to get rid of
my presence since it carried eternal boredom, profound vulgarity,
and accumulated anger. The guys, however, proved to be much
crazier than they appeared at first glance. On the very first day
of school, we somehow discovered that we all had dirty marbles
for brains, and we decided to shoot them together. It was like a
disease. The first team was made up of Baki, Kosta, Toza and
me. Toza and I sat at the same desk, and the other two sat just
behind us. Of course, we sat at the desks only when we attend-
ed classes, which didn't happen in the first few days. We hung
out in the schoolyard, showed off and looked at the girls who
had just arrived and were one year younger than we were. They
were the generation of 1976 and you could tell already that this
generation was completely lost. They were somehow inarticulate
and impersonal. If you killed them all one day, the rest of the
world would not notice any difference. Some of them, however,
.....
The Dance of Small-Time Demons 25
had tits, and some had asses and legs. That was enough to call
our attention to them. The four of us behaved like the lords of
the schoolyard. but in fact we were the buttheJds with no balls
and no brains. It was a real miracle that the older students didn't
kick our asses.
Toza was a great guy from Cerak. He had an irritating voice
and a tiring sense of humor. but he was brilliant anyway. He had
an older sister who provided him with a music education. She
was of the Smiths. Pixies, Violent Femmes generation. Baki lived
in New Belgrade. He was Belgrade's first dieselhead*. He was a
dieselhead before anyone else in town. His father was the head
of a very important bank. the one where teachers and the school
staff kept their money. No one could touch him. He was allowed
anything. In my books. he was absolutely normal. but then some
unknown hand dressed him in baggy Diesel Jeans and Air Max
2. No one understood what this guy was wearing. what were
those idiotic baggy pants and astronaut hut soon it
became clear that the person who dictated the country's trends
had provided him with the clothes, because in few years' time
everyone wanted to wear the same thing. but no one quite made
it. He was the first, the only. and the last real dieselhead. Kosta
was a guy from Kumodraz. He listened to folk music; he was
completely crazy. He abused all the girls from our class, he spat
at teachers from behind, swore, insulted the poor, gave para-
plegics a hard time. and smoked three packs a day. I was an idiot,
and thus our dream team was complete.
I didn't see Ana during the first days of school. Our school
was divided into a morning and an afternoon shift. She was in
the same shift as me; her professional profile was typist. We were
the elite profile, the legal techmcians, and my class, group 12.
was entirely made up of mental cases, both in male and female
form. They were mostly imbeciles who could not have enrolled
in a normal way, but their parents had to pull strings for them to
26 Marko Vidojkovi(
get in. There was so much string-pulling that year that they stuck
all those mentals together in one big group. I happened to be
there purely hy accident. They had put me in a group where
French was taught, and my foreign language was English. The
first day of high school I went to the principal, and he rolled his
eyes and told the teacher who was there: "We'll put this moron
in group 12, too." When I walked into the classroom and saw the
faces, everything was clear to me. One year later, at the begin-
ning of my second year, nothing was clear to me any more. And
what was the least clear was the mysterious power that was fuck-
ing me in the head. After a few days, I decided to phone Ana to
see how she was doing.
*
At the beginning. the conversation was a little shaky. For the
first few days. she didn't come to school, and I was not sure what
we would be talking about at all. l gave her a hard time for a
couple of minutes, not wanting to introduce myself. but soon she
guessed who I was. Then there were long and hard minutes of
idiotic exchanges of information, without charm. without sense:
and then she played me a tune over the phone. Some stinking
hippies. I wasn't listening to the hippies, but this was definitely
a tactic. We were both relieved. After the hippies, I played some
stinking punks for her. Then she played the hippies again, and
after that I played punks It lasted for about two hours, and we
came to the conclusion it had been wonderful. Both she and I
kept it to ourselves that neither of us liked the music we played
for each other, but the breaks between the songs - the breaks
were excellent. And the humming sound of the Belgrade tele-
phone exchange was playing the back up vocals.
We went to school in the afternoon. It was Thursday.
Physics. Fifth class. We had almost all our classes in one room.
fhe Dance of Smull- Time Demons
:;.:::...:--- -
27
t we had that damned Physics in another. It was in the physics
bU . . d h. Ph .
1
b with all its devices, proJectors, an s It. ys1cs was an eter-
:a, damnation. The. year before it was the .only subject I had u
D in, and this year 1t could be even more disastrous, because we
changed teachers. This new one had a bad :eputation. I brought
only a single notebook and penCil, and r decided to transfer them
ro forma from our room 44 to the Physics' room, although I
~ a s n t planning to stay in the class. I ran across Ana on the
stairwell. She was all beads, and I all pimples. She came to me
and kissed me on the mouth. r almost shit my pants Then she
ran off somewhere. One kiss and I was in love again. This meant
I was an idiot. I didn't go to Physics. The whole team ran away
from the class. As it was the class before the last one, Toza and
Kosta went home. and Baki and r stayed in the schoolyard. It
was a warm early evening in the late summer of 1991. There was
a war raging somewhere, but Baki and I didn't give a damn about
that. We were sittiug in the schoolyard, the sky was turning dark-
er and darker, and the class had begun without us.
"Hey, what is there between you and that tramp?" Baki sud-
denly asked me.
"Huh?"
"Between you and that tramp. The one m the fringes and
beads."
"There is nothing between us."
''She kissed you on the mouth just a minute ago."
"There is nothing between us."
"If you say so.''
The conversation came to a halt. We were sitting with our
heads against the schoolyard wall. Our faces were pointed to the
sky, and with the corners of our eyes we could perceive the light
from five or six classrooms where a few people, for little money,
were trying to teach a bunch of idiots something. Where our note-
28 Marko Vidojkmic
books lay without us and where one tramp in fringes and bead . ..,
was becoming a fatal problem for a young blockhead all m acne.
/\ t the end of following week there was a party at Pera
Pera was a girL a friend of a friend. Baki. To1a ancl I wet\.' im :i
ed to the party. If someone told you he knew a girl named Pera.
a name more likely to belong to a guy. the only thing that you
might think was that she had to be a monster. But. this munster
was one meter 70 tall. of an ideal built, gorgeous face. and somt'-
what large tits, which was definitely a plus. I her last name
was Peric. and that was how she must have gotten that moron
nickname. She lived in a high-rise on my strcd. a couple of hun-
dred meters aw<ty from my building. We went thm: and rc;JiiLtcd
that we didn't know anyone.
They were all fifteen ur sixteen. so naturally they were nol
the kind for much savagery. They were fully preoccupied wrth
themselves, their looks, and prospects of getting someone. I kne\1
that my prospects to get a girl had failed on the day that I first
put The Ramone:-:: nn the record player, so I was more relaxed
than others. Toza. however, was beginning conversations with the
opposite sex. He only wulked up to them and stayed with each
for two or three minutes. Then he would go on to the next one.
When I paid a little more attention, l realized that my schoolmate
was hitting on everything that walked. Most of them were short
legged monsters with specs in front of their eyes. I went to him
and asked what was the angle.
'Hey, bro. my grandfather that your dick has no eyeS:'
he told me.
''What dick, you idiot? Have you ever used that dick of
yours?"
"Nope."
r
The Dance o( Snw/1-Time Demons 29
~
""Well, what are you looking for with those dogs'! You won't
use it tonight either. Don't be ridiculous."
He tapped l l l l ~ <1n my shoulder a> .1 sign that he understood
my babbling. and then he stepped away from me and went on
with his approaches. Imbecile. Baki sat in the kitchen and talked
with the girl who brought us to the party. I didn't know her. even
though they all told me 1 knew her. I guess she was from school.
from some class, I don't know. They talked and totally ignored
me. I opened the fridge. I found ~ o m e melons. Melons in
September were unusual to me. but maybe it was the exact time
for them. I took one piece at a time. I would bite it. and once it
was chewed up, I'd throw it through the window_ They had been
the perfect triangles until I got my hands on them. Then they
turned into half-chewed orange stains on the sidewalk. Baki and
the girl kept talking, without saying a word about my behavior.
After the melons, I found some sandwiches. I took the tray and
sat on the floor. I assaulted them too. I would eat half of the
sandwich. and then r d fling it through the window. No one com-
plained. Pera entcr-.:d the kitchen for a moment. She saw Baki
and that girl talking and me sitting on the floor and devouring
sandwiches. She went out. The music was loud and lousy. It was
the beginning of the nineties, and someone was playing some
electronic shit from the eighties. I wondered how people could
hear each other talking. I got up from the floor and started open-
ing cupboards. In one of them I found a bottle of Vecchia. A
new one, uncorked. Never in my life had I drunk a drop of alco-
hol. I opened the bottle and before I took a swig, I thought about
all the movie scenes in which people drinking alcohol for the first
time choked on it, flushed, cried out, and coughed. I took a swig.
It was a good swig, and I was surprised how well I took it. I
didn't choke up or cry. To those amateurs I must have looked
like a professional, and a professional would probably have
thrown me out of a window. Baki took a moment for me.
30 Marko Vidojkovi(
''Look at him, a drunk," he said.
"No, man, a punk. If you don't take the swig. you are no
punk.''
"Well. I'm not a punk. You lowlifes disgust me, but I'll take
a swig anyway. Gimme the bottle.''
I gave him the bottle. He took a swig and gagged. He was
no pro. But, very soon I experienced a strange sensation in my
cheeks. They were buzzing, l couldn't feel them. l went to a mir-
ror and looked at myself. I looked like a monster. I was looking
at some creature with messed-up hair, red with acne, red from
wine. A pair of dull eyes, which I didn't like, were watching me.
I tumed around. The room was moving left. Pera came out of
somewhere and asked me what was going on. I didn't manage to
explain. I sat on the floor. She surveyed the kitchen and saw the
opened bottle. She came to me, knelt, and looked at me in the
face. You needed to have a lot of guts to took someone like me
in the face.
"You louse! Who told you that you could open my father's
bottle?"
'Hmmm, oh ... hmmm," I was not in any condition to say
much.
''I saw everything: the sandwiches and the melons, but now
you've gone too far. This was supposed to be a non-alcoholic
party."
A non-alcoholic party, yes, there used to be non-alcoholic
parties once. l was looking at her. It wasn't clear to me what she
expected. To apologize for opening a bottle? No problem, but it
wouldn't fill the bottle back again. Time was eternal, time was
the factor that could not be spent, but not in 1991, not in 29th
November Street.
"Sorry," I mumbled.
She slapped me, and then she left the bottle by my side. l
didn't have the strength to move. I got drunk from one swig. I
,.
The Dance of' Small- Time Demons 31
was not the only one. I saw Baki, who was leaning over some
guy and threatening him.
"What are you s t n d i n ~ here for. what are vou looking at.
who are you!?" He was howling.
This gave me strength. I stood, came over to Baki. and
together we started abusing the poor guy.
"Yeah, who are you, what do you want hcre'
1
' . I howled.
'Yeah, go away!'' Baki howled.
"Yeah, who do you think you are?" I howled.
"Yeah. beat it, beat it!" Baki howled.
The guy was just standing and looking at us. An msolent guy.
Then we went away from him as one, hugged each other and
started singing. I sang something of mine, and Baki something of
his. We were yelling. We weren't interesting to anyone. We
passl'd by small groups of fifteen-year-olds. messed around, and
they didn't react. There must have been a standard procedure
called ''What to do when you come across a drunk'!" that their
parents told them who knows when. Along the way, I got hold
of the bottle and began to swill. I passed it to Baki, and he
swilled. ''Aaaaaah," we howled across the apartment. Music was
on, guests were standing and talking, and he and I floated through
the place like ghosts. We went totally unnoticed. Then we turned
to the left and walked out. We set off for home. We agreed that
the party sucked, that the people at the party were evil, and that
we belonged to some distant, much nicer place. Pera's place was
on the thousandth floor. We couldn't find the elevator. so we
began to fall down the stairs, howling.
''Aaaaaah
1
" I howled.
"Aaaaaah
1
" Baki howled.
Toza caught up with us some three tloors further down. He
noticed we were gone so he came after us.
"Where are you going?" He asked us.
"Aaaaaah!" Baki howled.
32
Marko Vidojkmic'
''Aaaaaah!'' I howled.
''Hey, don't fuck around with me. Where are you gomgr
Toza insisted.
"We're getting away from this hell hole. Le1vc us ~ d o n e I
told him.
"Yeah, leave us. You are evil'" Baki told him.
"Here''' I pushed the VcLlhia into his hand. Then Baki :!11d
went on running down the stairs. and Toza stayed hchind on
the mezzanine Later he probably got hack to the party and made
more advances on more dogs. There was ne,er a lack of do12s
Haki and l started on foot towards the Repub!Jc Square. At
one moment. we arrived at my building. My old Renault 4 was
parked in front of it. The thing had not been in condition for dnv-
ing from the time my father left. No one took care of it. it would
not stu1, it was at the mercy of all possible bums. There \Verc
signs that someone had broken into it, hut they could not have
driven it away. and the radio was so heavily encrusted in the car
that it cnuld nn' be stolen either. Every time I looked at that
rad10. f' d remember my father's words from 19X). He had
installed the radio in the car, and l was standing beside it. play-
ing with a rubber ball. ''Son, no one will ever steal this. I've
attached it to the car's balls." he told me. He really had fixed it
to the balls of the car. No one could touch that radio.
''Look'" f said to Baki.
The car was unlocked. l went in and sat on the passenger's
seat.
"Hey, what's that?" He asked me.
"The car. Get in."
He got in from the other side. We were sitting and aimless-
ly talking about some girls. He was talking about one called
Mara, a year younger than us, and l was talking about Ana. When
did he manage to get to know someone of that younger genera-
tion? I turned on the notorious radio. I cranked it up to full blast.
t'
The Dance of Small-Time Demons 33
Baki and I had our disagreements about which station to play,
but the car was mine and l could play whatever I wanted. Baki
even wanted to hear one lggy Pop song that we accidentally camt'
across. We soon lost the power of speech. We were sitting. our
heads thrown hack on the head rests, and looking at the ceiling.
The music was blaring. We were drunk and the feeling was not
bad at all. Then \Omeone approached the car and knockt'd on the
window.
"Boys, please ..... "
Someone had said "please" to us. We were gods. I felt dizzy
and could not make out who it was.
"Boys. plea\e, there are older people here. They can t sleep.
If you could turn it down a bit... .. ''
An old fart from my building. I thought that I had tamed all
of them last year when I broke down all the mailboxes and the
elevator board. I started howling.
"Aaaaaah!"
The apparition disappeared. He rushed back to his ~ i p p e r ~
and his ancient world. Baki looked at me, and then we started
howling together.
"Aaaaaah!"
We were trying to prove something to someone. When we
got out of the car, there was nobody there. I didn't go home; I
left for the Square with Baki. He hopped in a cab and asked me
whether I wanted to go to his place. He said his folks were not
at home and that he had great pornos. I sat in the cab with him.
The cab driver just scowled at us. He was probably fed up with
all the intoxicated kids, all the old women, and all the fmstrated
people he drove around.
When we got to Baki's place, I stretched out on his younger
sister's bed, and he on his own, but not before he put on the
porno as he had promised. But the first fuck had not even start-
ed before I was already in realm of dreams.
34 Marko
The next day. I had sCl!l!C trouble figuring out where l was,
what had happened and what the porno was like. I didn't have a
hangover, and all the talk about hangovers was just total crap. I
was all rise-and-shine. Baki still asleep. I went out to the
street and waited for the bus. It was a Saturday morning: it was
warm. l stood across the street from the Hotel Yugoslavia and
\Vatched the oldsters strolling. watched small children jumping
and riding btcycles with training wheels. I felt a slight headache,
but it disappeared when the first girl passed by. I sat on the side-
walk. I missed several buses. When l got home. my mother didn't
ask where I had been all night. She had given up on me a long
time ago.
I went to my father's nn Sunday. Line 65 wa' as m:;piring
:ts always. full of unexpected events and hot chicks. I looked at
them, and they would turn their heads or make disgusted gri-
maces. Then I got off the bus and felt their relief. After that. they
probably told their bathed clean-faced boyfriends about "the ugly
shaggy creature. full of acne. who was looking at them on the
bus''. I walked by the newspaper I was not afraid of meet-
ing the woman who worked there. The kiosk was closed. It was
Sunday.
My ole! man welcomed me with sandwiches. He was not
much of a cook. l think he could only work the grill and make
hamburger, but this time he surpassed himself and slipped me the
plate with sandwiches. The sandwiches were not bad, but my old
man was a bit fucked-up. We were sitting and watching a TV
show about some idiot in idiotic suit who was moving around
really fast and solving crimes. He was shit fast. After the series.
we small-talked about politics a little. Somewhere in the country
there was a war raging. and my father was explaining what was
f
The Dance r ~ f Small-Time Demons 35
---
actually going on. He said that they were ail idiob, that people
were dying for no reason and that in ten years time rveryone
who was fighting would be forced to live together when Europe
grabbed them by the ears. I listened to him elaborate on this with
partial curiosity. I respected his attitudes, especially because they
were different from official attitudes. My old man was a com-
plete punk in that sense. In other ways, he was just my old man.
But I didn't care about wars in places that l had never heard of.
People were chasing each other in corn fields and slaughtering
each other in gulches. I innately supported the Serbs and hoped
they burned the stupid Croats' whole country, but I knew it was
wrong because the whole country supported the same thing. and
my country and the people in it were repulsive to me. Their atti-
tudes were repulsive, and I gave up politicizing, even in thought.
It was more important for me to get laid, to write a good song.
to squeeze the unpleasant pimple on the edge of my upper lip.
Father soon dumped me. and I found myself in the street
again, waiting for the 65. Things in my life developed in an
unusual way recently, and I expected that at one point I would
come across that old witch who took me by surprise after the
incident with The Pructical Wife. I didn't meet her this time. She
must have been waiting around ~ o m other corner. In twenty
minutes, the 65 came, again full of chicks; I looked at them, and
they looked away from me.
*
My music career was short-lived, but fruitful. Bata, Duke and
I set up a punk hand named ''The Ghosts" at the beginning of
high school. Bata played the drums. Duke the bass guitar, and I
sang and played the other guitar. Duke went to the same class
with us in grade school. It all went well, we even had three stage
appearances. The first was on the Day of the Law and
36
Administration School. The 9th of May, 1991. The admin-
istration organized a big rock concert in the schoolyard. At le:Jst
one member of the band had to he from the school. Duke didn't
turn on the amplifier, so only my guitar could be heard. Some
girls screamed and two asked for my telephone number. One was
toothless and tlat as a board, and the other was a fat metalhead
with more acne than me. All in all. the concert hit the hull"s C\l'
After that. we played at a few events in the Pioneer Center.
was a solo concert, and our friends from grade school came. Most
of them were disgusted. and started rumors about our band's
being disgusting. that the music we played was disgustmg. and
that we had a '"disgusting smger"' who used to be a good k1d
once. The Ghosts held their last concert in the grand hall of the
Pioneer Center, at the festival for young rock bands. That was a
total fiasco beumse I had spent more time chasing one whiner
who played in a fag pop band. than concentrating on
music. We gave it all we had and went totally unnoticed. The
\vhincrs hand won and got the record deal, which meant that
punk belonged to the cellars and in the heads of total losers.
I phoned the chick after a couple of days, and she laughed polite-
ly at the idea of going out with me. Bitch.
After that, the band broke up. Duke dropped the bass guitar.
but Bata and I kept on playing, resolved to make something of
our music. Duke was still an original member of our small class
clan. Aside from the three of us, there was also Klip. Klip melt-
ed fishing lead and inhaled the vapors. After that, nothing else
was the same. The four of us got together often.
We had our last rehearsal in June and from the perspective
of this September, it was clear that we would have no chance for
a new one soon. The band still existed, but it had no name, it
had no songs, it only had a two-meter tall drummer and a
dwarfish pimply singer-guitarist who got plastered for the first
time one Friday night.
One day l had agreed to go to Bata s to plan son of
strategy for the band. I went; it was 7 p.m., and the block was
absolutely fantastic We sat on some cobblestones. at thr
high-rises and the airplanes above them. and the children and the
girls and the cars. We didn't try to talk about the band. Fuck the
band. We just sat and breathed in the odors of the summer. Bugs
crawled on our legs, and wt: killed them furiously with our hare
hands. We were in the same spot for a couple of hours. and then
I got on the bus and went home.
*
In those I talked with Jelica quite often. Je!ica went to
the same class with me in !-!racle school. She sat at the desk in
front of me. She was not bad looking. She \vas one ol the fiL'it
ones to have tits growing. She knew English alm\)st Js well as J
did. and you could talk with her about stuff.
We called each other now <md then during the
school year. hut at the beginning of year it began to be on
a daily basis. We called each other at night. Jelic<l lived alone for
reasons I didn't know and that l didn't want to know. I was afraid
!'d hear her tragic story, and I didn't feel like hearing other peo-
ple's tragedies. We talked about everything. but the conversation
quickly started becoming weird. First Jelica began telling me that
her furniture was moving. that the paintings were falling off their
nails. that she felt someone's presence in the room. It happened
several times while we were on the phone. It scared 1:1c shit (JUt
of me.
After talking about ghosts, we talked about tits. 1 that
she had big tits. while she persistently claimed that her tits were
small. I remembered her tits from eighth grade, and any tits
would have seemed big at that time, just having anything at all
on your chest was great.
38 Marko
Afterwards. the talk about tits led to talk about sex. l didn't
have a clue about sex. l could mavbc talk about masturbatory
techniques. But she insisted on the sex talk. One C\enin? !he
conversation became very open.
"Boki, how long is She asked me.
"I beg your pardon')!''
"How long is your ... tooJ'1"'
''What do you mean?"
"l mean. how long is your How thiCk is it, how long
IS it')"
Hmm ... ya mean ...
"No.''
"I don't know. I never measured it.''
'Compare it to something. Is it as big a' a cannon?"
"Oh, no. it's not that big."
"Well. how big is it thenT
A miniature nightstick of my late grandfather my
mind. The nightstick was some twenty centimeters long and it had
a lead widening on its top.
"Say. like a nightstick ...
''Ohhhh."
"Hello?"
''Ohhhh.''
''Jelica'7"
''That long?"
"Not like a police nightstick. Like the smaller one.
yaknow ..... "
''No."
"The smaller nightstick, like my granddad's."
"Ohhhh."
"Jelica?"
''I'm here. I'm here. Why don't we see each other?"
"Oh. okay, okay."
The Dance of Small-Tim, Demons 39
::.--------------- ------------ --------- ----
"Get a move on
1
"
'Wait. Jelica. I don 1 know where yon live."
She ga\e me directions :mel I set off right away_ Durintr mv
trolleybus* ride to Konjarmk. I didn't think too much about why
I was going to Jelica's place. I was simply going there. I didn't
dare think what that conversation had meant. I went.
I found her buildmt! with no problem. I got to the >CL\md
floor and rang the dombell. I was weanng shorts and an
Exploited sweatshirt. I didn't put beer in my hair; I put the tooth-
paste. It smelled better. Jelica opened. She was in a bathrobe. She
looked a little fatter th;m m grade scnool. and her hair w;h a lit-
tle longer. One look at her cleavage told me I was right as far
as her bosom was concerned. When she saw me. she made an
unusual face. At first I thought she was disgusted by the whole
universe, but soon her turrwd mto a smile. she took
me by the sleeve and made me come in.
"Gosh. how you've changed. This way
1
"
She o,howed me in. We came to J room. There was a clo:-:
et, a bed. and a TV set. The room looked Ci lot like mine. Jelica
sprawled out on the bed and told me to make myself comfort-
able. I sat beside the bed. On the floor.
"Not on the floor. Here!'' She moved ail the way t< the right
side of the bed and patted its unoccupied part with her hand.
I sat beside her. The bathrobe was pink, made of Turkish
towel. It began to come untied. but klica didn't care. Everything
was falling out. I could see gentle on her stomach, I could
see her white panties. At least she was wearing some. She had
no bra. The hollow between her breasts could be seen easily. and
one could see her right white hemisphere when she leaned towarcl
me. From time to time she rubbed her hand on my thigh.
"Wow, you're a real metal head now. right'
1
"
"A punk, Jelica."
"Same thing. Why are you so stiff? Wanna watch TV?"
40 Marko Vidojkovi{
may."
Jelica had ways to relax a guy. although she appeared a little
forward with all the telephone talk and the bathrobe She turned
on the TV. There was a special report. The war. Jelica switched
to the other two channels, and they both were the same
program. She left on the war program. We watched it. They
showed dead bodies. The bodies were lined up 1n a yard. Some
of them had beards, some were in slippers, other:. were in dress-
ing gowns. Almost all of them were stiff, with and legs
turned toward the Slavonian I didn t pay attention whether
the bt)(1Jes were "ours" or "theirs because i was lookmg at
Jelica s breasts which threatened to escape her bathrobe cnm-
pleidy. Then I \\ atchcd the bodies again. Some had hoks tiom a
bullet, some didn't have half the head. Some of the heads were
hanging on tiny threads, and some bodies were armless. I pictured
Jclica armless, with a hole in her for.: head. I moved away.
We watched the program through to its end. We found out
that the dead were "ours." After the program came the I 0
o'clock news. More dead bodit"i to come. The b0dies trom
a couple of minutes before, but some others too. Again in
heads. again blood and legs jutting into the sky. I wondered what
the kids would look like growing up with all this shit around
them. I grew up with Branko Kockica,* and I turned out like this.
They could turn out better though. I looked at my watch and real-
ized it was late, from a public transportation point of view.
"When does the last trolleybus go this way?" l asked Jelica.
'At 11: 10."
It was in twenty minutes.
'Td better le<Jve now:
'"Well, if you really must...''
'Td better."
Jclica lost a little of her earlier elation. Was it because of the
dead bodies? I sat on bed's edge, and she recovered all traces of
41 of Smo/1-/ime Dmww
--
nakedness. The news went on wilh its bodies, and I <;tnod up and
said that I was leavmg. Jelica stood and moved to see me off
She avoided looking at me.
I found myself in the stree1. waiting fer the it \\as
half-empty. People and children were lookmg at me. What
were children doing on a trolleybus at eleven o clock in the
evening? Why weren't they m bed'
1
They were all staring at me
and my jackass ears and my ox's horns. A chimera with zits had
gotten on the I was wondering if I had missed some-
thing. I decided not to tell anyone about what had happened that
night.
One of the following nights, I dreamed that I was screwing
Mila Jankovic. How could someone who had never been laid
dream about such stuff
1
I knew guys who dreamed they dro''t
cars. and they were 15 or 16 like me.
Mila Jankovic was the ugliest girl in rny class. She was a lit-
tle retarded, but that wouldn't be such a problem if it were not
for her looks. She presented the appearance of a shaggy camel,
with shaggy warts on her hands, and cucumber-shaped tits. One
look at her was enough to make the whole female sex disgusting
to you. The problem was that, in my dream, I enjoyed it. I
enjoyed it, and Mila Jankovic looked no better than in real life.
She was hideous, and I felt great.
I woke up, awash in sweat, looked myself in the bathroom
mirror for a couple of minutes, washed my face, and went to
school. It was half past nine in the morning and that meant that
I had missed first two periods. September had gone ahead, the
rolls were made up, unexcused absences written down with zeal.
The school was five minutes on foot from my place. When I got
there, it was recess. The schoolyard was crowded. I walked up to
Marko \lid(>jkovic'
,,,;nc !,'iris and took money from their pockets nght away.
I i-'''1 rhc: money for my breakfast, and they avoided prolonged
,, ,.! '' :rh Ill\'. There wa> a kiosk in the schoolyard that sold
crepes, lwt dugs. hot sandwiches, and Coca-Cola. As we never
V
1
CI1l to cb:-.s. we spent most of our time chatting with workers
in the kiosk. They'd give w, double portions of hot dogs. fatter
.'.<tnd'AJches, and sometimes crepes for free. I waved to some
tllugs who wen:: standing on the other side of the yard, and then
l went to the kiosk. The girl who worked there was called Daca
and was a couple of years older than us.
"What is it with you''" She asked me.
"I dnn't know. the same as usual. Why do you ask'?"
"You look worse than usual."
"Possibly. I don't know what's going on with me: I have a
mess in my life. panic in my head. I don't know what's wrong."
"Right.''
"One -.:andwich ."
''Fiftv
l took out the money and put it on the stand. As usual, she
lavished my sandwich with cheese, ketchup. and ham. I bit it two
or three times and then I got fed up. T lost my appetite. I gave
the sandwich to a guy who I didn't know by name but who was
always hanging out there, playing hooky, causing trouble. He
deserved a breakfast at least. I stood in the middle of the yard,
loof.:inf: up at the sun with my eyes closed. It was warm, and the
i breeze \Vas blowing on my face. Someone approached me
from behind and put her hands on my eyes. The effect was lost,
they were closed anyway. Small soft hands. [ turned.
''Where have you been?" Ana said.
'Tm right here."
"I haven't seen you in school for a while. You haven't called
since that one time."
...--J)aace o( Sma/1-'l<mc Demon>
r ----------------------
1
r
She thought of our first and the last telephone ,:uP\t:f\at:on
with the music playing.
"Yeah. well I was not really mvself. Actu,tlly. l'm qili
not. .. "
"He-he-he."
She was laughing. She was convinced her laughter was mag-
ical. She was right. She was trembling, and I nearly had a hard
on. I started falling in love again. It came and went by i!'.elf. I
thought that I'd have been totally calm if Ana wouldn't make her
appearances in my life. Maybe I was a horny bast:ml hu1
it is hard to distinguish between a horny bastard dnd a !d in
Jove. And maybe it's not. We were standing and talking :lctu
ally she was doing the talking and I was swaying fn,n: \l:i;;
Jankovic, through the sandwich, all the wa; to Ana\ in :n:.
thoughts. I but it didn't bother her She kept coo in:;
about something, some hippie talk. After recess I went hlmc.
*
The next day I didn't get to school until Serbian class. Third
period. The teacher had a superb system. We were sitting in the
class and she didn't ask us anything. If we became restless, she'd
throw us out, but she wouldn't write it down. A good woman. l
was totally crushed, not ready to stir up any kind of shit. On the
other hand, my schoolmates were very ready. Kosta was throw-
ing small pieces of paper at some whiner. He had taken those
pieces of paper from a notebook and chewed them up until they
turned into a mash. Then he took the paper out of his mouth. his
hand full of paper mash. Then he threw it at girls in the class-
room. It was offensive even to us, normally ready for anything,
and in few years' time those girls would probably remember their
schooldays with disgust and hatred.
44 Marko Vidojkovic
---
He kept throwing the mash at the girl whose name I could
not remember. Each time she made the same reaction. She turned
to Kosta. shook her index finger at him. giggled. and then turned
back to the teacher. Her back and hair were full of soggy pieces
of paper. The windows were open and the mild fall breeze waft-
ed into the classroom. I was looking at the school walls which
looked pretty bad in sunlight, cracked and gray. I tried to inhale
every breath of wind, but l wasn't so successful and I felt worse
and worse in my head and was ready for suicide.
Finally the Serbian teacher kicked Kosta out and sent the girl
to the toilet to clean up. Toza sat by my side and wrote down
what was happening in the class. Sometimes he was strange. He'd
bring one single notebook to school as we did, played hooky as
we did, and yet he wrote down anything the teacher said. A weird
guy, this Toza. Baki was absent. He must've stayed in the school-
yard or in one of the washrooms that became a new shelter to
truants when the weather got colder. But the weather was fan-
tastic on that day.
The next period was supposed to be Math, but our head-
mistress came instead. She didn't show any great interest in us,
she missed school often, she was politically active, very power-
ful. Dealing with a bunch of jerks who tried to shit on the school
and the system was not what she really needed. She came very
pissed. Through a fluke of fate, we all happened to be in the
classroom.
"Markovic, Petroski, Ilic, Sestic. Stand up."
Those were our names. Baki, Toza, Kosta and I stood up.
''Everyone of you has between seventy and eighty unexcused
absences. This means that you idiots haven't been to any classes
since the beginning of the year. You are kicked out of the school
if you have twenty-five absences. The teachers' board has agreed
to reduce your absences to twenty-four and to reprimand you once
,.
a
h
li
d
' i
ll
].
t
1:'.
~ .
l'l
r.
t:
\'i
h
i
I
l
fhe Dance of Small-Time Demons
;:.:...---
45
before expulsion. Run away again and you can all search for
another school. Sit down. And you, fatso, not. even you dear
daddy will help you this time, so don't look at me like that."
This last part was addressed to Baki. We sat down. We were
heroes, but only to ourselves. The rest of the class was looking
at us compassionately. Then the headmistress ordered me to stand
up. Only me.
"Listen, you bum, I won't have you wearing those clothes
any more. Shorts, torn shirt, and that crazy hair. Is that how a
student should look?"
I was standing and looking at her. The headmistress was pro-
voking me, but I wasn't ready to argue.
"As of tomorrow, I want you in school like all the others. I
understand puberty and all, but some things simply don't go with
school. When you are in the street, do what you want. but when
you are in school. behave like a reasonable human being. Or at
least pretend. Sit there."
The headmistress left the classroom without a word. She was
tough, but she didn't arouse disgust or hate. I guess that was
because of her filthy language. The math teacher came after her,
armed with two triangles and a pair of large wooden compasses.
I put my head on the desk and listened the scratching sound of
my finger against its surface. The Indians were right - you could
really hear the train better when you leaned your head against the
tracks.
*
That afternoon I went to the hairdresser's and had my head
shaved. After that, J went to the jeweler's to get my ear pierced.
I blew all my allowance, but I finally looked like a man. There
were few baldheads in Belgrade at the time. Myself, the skin-
heads, and some louse-ridden Gypsy children.
Marko Vidojkovic:

When 1 got home, mother didn't show much intere\t 111 my
new style. It was as if she and I lived separately. I sat in my
room all day, talked on the phone, and listened to music. whi !c
she watched her TV. She was one of the first to be sent on redun-
dancy leave because, as she said, she didn't want to pay the loan
for Serbia* at a time when people were giving half their
under their directors orders. Now she was sitting at home. watch-
ing TV, and hating my father. We didn't talk at all, unless we
discussed what we were going to eat that day.
In the evening, I went to Bata's. Some fucked-up wind was
beginnmg to blow, and the two of us were in and T-shirts.
We were shivering, but we just stayed where we were on some
stone blocks, looking around. He didn't even notice at first that
I had a new haircut and a pierced car, but when I asked him how
he liked it, he noticed and asked me how I could justify being
bald since punks didn't do that stuff. 1 told him that a punk could
do whatever he wanted because that was the essence of punk. 1
could hcne long hair or no hair at all or wear tlared trousers or
go ahout naked. That was punk. That remained punk.
The next day we didn't play hooky. The weather was cold,
the wind was blowing, it was raining. I was in torn jeans, a T-
shirt. and a black leather jacket. Some people called it a motor-
cycle jacket. We did as many foolish things as we liked, the
teachers knew we had only one unexcused absence left before
being kicked out of school, and they balked at being the ones
with our expulsion on their conscience. We caused trouble,
howled. swore, bugged the girls in the class, and the teachers put
up with everything. They had a better solution. During the sec-
ond period, the sociology teacher called on the four of us and
asked one single question: "Who was Thomas Hobbes?" Not one
of us knew the answer. Not one of the girls wanted to help, and
not one of the other guys could prompt us because they didn't
know who he was either. We were left in the lurch, our answers
The Dance ~ { Small- Time Demons
47
were silent and we all got Fs. The second F in my life. The first
one was last year in Physics, but very soon I bumped it up to a
D. We sat and went on doing stupid things.
My new hair and earring provoked various reactions in
school. Most people found me just as repulsive as before. my
classmates thought I was totally okay, and to Ana I was superb.
She ran up to me during recess. told me she liked my haircut
very much, and promised she'd give me an earring as a present,
so I wouldn't have to wear that boring yellow spot from the jewe-
ler. For a few minutes t was in love with Ana again, but when
the next period began. I left the feeling behind at recess.
The headmistress taught us a legal subject whose name I
could not really grasp. Her class was the fifth on the schedule.
She entered, sat at the table, looked around the classroom, opened
the roll and started writing down something. As she was scrib-
bling in the book, she ordered me to stand up.
"What's that, SesticT She asked.
"What?"
"That. On your head."
'There's nothing on my head, miss.''
"That, that. There's nothing. What does it mean? Are you
pulling my leg?"
"No."
"No?''
"No."
"Fine, at least you didn't come in shorts.''
"I didn't."
"Sit."
I sat. The headmistress took roll calL wrote down those that
were absent, and then called on me, Toza, Baki and Kosta. She
asked all four of us the same question, but this time I could not
even understand it. It was something on constitutional law, some
amendment to the constitution, some shit. We were silent. She
48
Marko Vidojkovi'
was silent too. It lasted for about ten minutes and then she wrote
down four Fs for all of us and ordered us to sit. It was my third
F. It seemed as if the teachers in the staff room agreed to fuck
with us. What they didn't count on was that Fs did not hurt me.
I knew I could make them up whenever I wanted. maybe even
the F in Physics, but I didn't have an F in Physics.
I got the F in Physics four days later. Over those few days,
I collected eight Fs. I only managed to get an A in English. They
couldn't get anything on me in English, because I knew English
better than my mother tongue. But we got on with the same
behavior as before the reprimand and before the Fs. We only left
out the playing hooky. There was something in us that was
stronger than Fs and reprimands. It was only a matter of day
before we would play hooky again, even at the price of being
kicked out of school.
*
In the meantime, my sixteenth birthday came and went. Only
my parents remembered that useless date and sent me wishes they
hardly believed in.
No one else remembered my birthday, which was absolutely
fine as I myself wouldn't remember anyone else's birthday. A
birthday can sometimes make you want to jump out of the win-
dow. This time I didn't jump.
Weeks went by, and we entered deeply into the fall. We
couldn't sit in the street any more; the weather was too cold, the
east wind was blowing, and it was raining. The days were so
gloomy that lights were on during the school's first shift. You
could get the impression that it was dark outside even at ten
o'clock in the morning. Both the teachers and us had bloodshot
eyes. There was a calm, in the expectation of the regular annual
fading of nature and its winter death.
The Dance of Small-Time Demons 49
------------------------------------------
At the time. telephone calls between Ana and me took place
more and more often and got longer. She and I called about the
same amount, and the calls began at four in the afternoon
and lasted until seven in the evening. When we went to school
in the afternoon shift, we talked nights. I got trapped.
The talks were interspersed with the compubory playing of
music. I _eot scared because I started to find songs A.na
played to be rather okay. I had softened. At first, I played less
punk and then J stopped playing anything. Only she played the
music. Damned hippies, exclusively. Damned hippies, that I was
beginning to like. Ana and l reached the conclusion that we were
very spiritually close. I knew it was precarious to be spiritually
close to someone you hear over the phone and see for fifteen
minutes a day during recess. Still, I felt good and I agreed with
her conclusions on our closeness. I didn t feel good when she
called me her best friend. That was a very poor designation. but
I let her do the babbling, hoping that one day. one night. one
morning something would change. I wasn "t long;ng for any defi-
nitions of our relationship. I didn't care much for them, but the
status of best friend did not appeal to me. Best friends didn "t have
the privilege to suck their best friends' tongue, best friends didn't
seize for their best friends' tits and ass. Best friends could only
listen to their best friends' problems and try to <>olve them with-
out success. I had my chance on the lO I, and I blew it. I was
punished. I was a best friend.
*
The father of a guy from another class died. I knew this guy
only slightly. Someone had to go to the funeral, and my three
friends and I applied at once. We said we knew the bereaved son,
and we even said we had been on good terms with the deceased.
The truth was somewhere on unother planet. The headmistress
50
looked at us with suspicion. She said that only two could go. lieu
who she would choose. We were standing in front of the statt
fO(lm waiting hr her decision. It was a long time since we had
skipped classes and we longed for some kind of break from
school. After five minutes. the headmistress decided that Baki and
I could go to the funeral. I could not tell what the motive, Dl
her decision were. For l definitely expected to he left ncn
of the equation, because of my unpleasant looks. But the head
mistress probably thought that when the mourners looked at me.
they would realize that there were worse things than death W c
went to New Be:lanija cc?metcry by bus. I glanced at the plot
where my grandparents were buried. The cemetery looked good.
It was a heavy falL a rainy day, and there was a spooky dark-
ness in the cemetery at three in the afternoon. We found tl11s guy
whose father died somewhere and expressed our condolences 111
him We didn't enter the chapeL we didn't follow the 'olemn pro
cession. When thev started putting the father in the tomb.
and I left the cemetery. We got on the bus and v.ent to Zckni
Venae. From there we went to McDonald's in Terazije Street. We
went down to the basement and sat. It was horrifying that
McDonald's had so many mirrors everywhere. constantly remind-
ing you of your crappy looks. I tried to sit as far as possible frorn
any I stooped down, bent over, and looked right at the
table. Baki was talking about a girl. l think it was the same one
he talked about in the Renault after Pera 's party.
"The tits, the legs. the Baldy, the chick ts awesome
I got a new nickname. Baldy.
"Yeah." 1 agreed.
''I think she's got the hots for me, Baldy. l thmk gut
the hots."
'Yeah.''
"These days I am off in action. I'll grab her round a corner."
"Yeah."
r 'S II r l'J
; The Dance o
1
ma - une emons 51
"What's between you and that tramp?"
'I don't know what you're talking about."
"Don't hullshit me. you st:md together at ev:ry and
coo around. There must be something, or else you're a complete
jerk.''
"I don't know what you're talking about."
I was a complete jerk, but Baki didn't have to know that. He
went on talking about this girl, Mira or Marija or Milka, I couldn't
remember any more. After McDonald's, we didn't know what to
do, so we went back to school. Nobody was there. The yard was
dark and empty. We went into the building and into the wash-
room on the ground floor. We sat on the floor and waited for the
end of the period.
When the bell rang, we went to our good old -l-1.
No one was surprised to see us. Although the four of us gave the
school shit more than anyone, we were dependant on it. Baki and
I didn't have to come back to class, we had an excuse from
school for the whole day. We decided to stay though. Baki want-
ed to wait for the Mira. Marija, or Milka after school, and it
crossed my mind to wait for Ana. The evening was pleasant,
rainy, dark and cold. It ideal for a walk to the bus stop where
she'd be waiting for the bus to take her home.
The next period was Psychology. A smallish blonde with a
serious speech disorder taught us Psychology. She was sweet as
honey and everyone loved her. Everyone except me and my
friends. We knew she was a psychologist and that she had to deal
with the shit we gave her in a professionaL balanced, and meas-
ured way, with a smile. Our shit was so outrageous that it would
probably even make Mahatma Ghandi lose his temper, let alone
a psychology teacher in a Belgrade high school. She entered the
52 Marko Vidojko1'i('
classroom. saw a note about Bakis and my excuse from school
sitting on the desk. saw the two of us at the desk. and sigh,'d
deeply.
She had this habit of applying her psychological shit on chil
dren. She gave every ot1t: of the forty of us a piece of paper and
tole! us to write on it the first thing that camt' to our mind. Baki
wrote mginu. ro;a wrote th<? name Dijww. the gil] he had !lw
hots for. Kosta drew a naked woman. and I made holes m the
paper. The holes were arranged in the shape of a swastika. We
put the pieces of paper in one box anonymously. I think it was
a box in which the teacher's shoes once lay. She picked up the
papers at random and told us who was what kind of person
according to what the person wrote. Toza was the most normal
by far. He wrote the name of that slut, and I am sure he meant
it. Again he followed the teacher's commandments. Traitm.
Judging hy her iace we nlllld tell whose paper ~ h e was lonklng
aL At one point she smiled sourly. squeezed the paper and tine\\
it in the wastebasket. That was probably the mgina. She turned
one paper up and down, acting as if she could not understand .'1
what was on it. It was probably the naked woman. And then she
picked out the paper with holes. We all knew to whom it h
belonged. She JUst put it back in the box. stood up and started n
her monologue. She knew us very well. We knew her too. d.
"Listen. kids, I know yuu arc at a complicated age. There is a V
war raging in the country, your fathers may even be in the battle- P<
field. Dangerous times have come to us, times when some things f<
arc said and hasty steps taken too easily. There is violence.. 1n
Kosta put his hand over his mouth and made a loud farting r;,
noise. No one laughed. We remained totally dead-pan. The o;.
teacher closed her eyes. kept them closed for a couple of sec- 1 ~ 1
onds, and then went on.
r only ask you to think about everything in your lives to
what. .. " ru'
r,:,, Dance >I Smaiu;,,_ /)cmom
53
'
'STOP IT''"
Danica Jaksic -;creamed when she got Kosta s cigarette butt
in her swc<lter. The repeated th, ritual ,1!
ing her eyes and went on.
'Since you are the future of this country and you should nor
put yourselves in a situation to ... "
"OUCH'"
Toza and 1 had pulied back Marija Pesic's chair. She sat in
front of us. She fell on the floor with a cry. I think she hit her
teeth against the edge of the table. We started to laugh. The
teacher stood in the middle of the classroom, Jlushcd.
"STOP IT! MONSTERS' YOU DAMNED MONSTERS -
YOU SHOULD ALL BE IN DETEI'\TION
1
WHY DID YOU
COME BACK')!"
She was obviously addre:;"ing mt: :mel Bal-.i. \\'c looked at
her. swinging on the chairs and carefully listening to \\Jut ,]le
was saymg.
1 CAN"T WORK LIKE THIS
1
YOU ARE ALL Sfv1ALL
STINKING SCREW YOU ALL'"
The teacher slumped back down on her table and put her
head in her It was the end of the class. Classroom 44 was
right beside the teachers staff room. There was a bell. and a stu-
dent was in charge of ringing the bell for the end of a period.
We always used to knock against the wall when the end of the
period was close so the bell-ringer could hear us. That was a sign
for him or her to start pressing the button. Kosta started knock-
ing, and the teacher was sitting at the table and sobbing. The bell
rang after a few moments. I felt a little son-y for the teacher, but
only a very little. We never saw her again. A guy with a mus-
tache taught us Psychology from the next week on.
After classes, I went down to the yard and waited for Ana
to appear. The rain was falling on my head, and rainy air was
rubbing against my cheeks. Her class started to go from the
54 Marko Vidojkovi(
school. There not llllt guy in that class. 1 came up to the
first girl I recognized. She took some change from her pocket and
gave it to me. I a-;ked her where Ana was.
''A guy picked her up after the fourth period. She hasn't
showed up since then.
That hurt me.
That same night. Baki captured that Mira. Milka or Marija.
He offered to walk her to the bus. and then he grabbed her on
the first corner and gave her a tongue kiss. It was the first girl-
friend in his life. During that same day Toza got the phone num-
ber of the Dijana from his piece of paper, and Kosta gave the
impression of someone who was not interested in girls at all. I
was interested in girls. one in particular, hut I was too late for
any success. By two at least.
Red Star was in the finals of the Intercontinental Cup against
Colo--Colo* My friend Duke's place was also called "the church
of soccer_ We traditionally watched Red Star games in his apart-
ment. His father and mother were divorced. so they switched off.
First his mother would come live with him for a couple of weeks,
then his father. There were times when Duke lived alone. That
evening he was alone.
Ten of us gathered. There were Bata. K!ip, myself. and, nat-
urally. Duke. A couple of Duke s friends from high school arrived
soon after, and there was also one colleague of Duke's father who
didn't have a place to watch the game. We came to Duke's place
at eight in the evening even though the game was supposed to
he played only on the following morning.
First there was a fight over who would go get the drinks. We
argued for hours and in the end we tossed a coin. Bata and I
went to get the drinks.
I
I
I
I
I
I
_ _l
,..-
!
The Dance of Small-Time Demons 55
In 1991. you could get drinks after eight only in the store in
Nusiceva Street. No one drank alcohol, so we were supposed to
buy a few cokes. I dictn 't drink alcohol. I could not consider
myself an alcoholic after getting drunk only once.
It was very cold and dry outside. There was a strong wind
blowing. I was wearing a black overcoat and Doc Martens. Duke
lived in Lola Ribar Street. We went toward the store hy a round-
about route, by the Youth Center. I guess Nusiceva Street was
too steep for us. Someone came up behind me at the bus stop
near the Youth Center and put hands on my eyes. Small soft
hands. I took a deep breath and turned around. Too many acci-
dental meetings for my stomach. Ana was wearing a blue duffle
coat and was looking pretty sexy, ~ sexy as a sixteen-year old
could look. She asked us where we were going, we told her, then
the bus came, and before I could find my way out, I received a
friendly kiss instead of a goodbye. The blue duffle coat d i ~ p
peared into the public transport. and my friend WDS looking at me
sympathetically. My misery was obvious. We bought the Coca-
Cola without a word. We returned to Duke's without a word.
It was not even midnight and the atmosphere had become tense.
Klip was having one of his nights. At one point. he picked up a
marble ashtray from the table and threw it at Bata. It hit him in the
forehead. Before Bata managed to react, Klip ran into another room
and locked himself in. We could hear his laughter. Bata was bang-
ing at the door for some time, but the situation soon calmed down.
Half an hour later however, Klip ran out of the room with a broom
in his hand and started to beat Bata savagely, who had put ice on
the bump from the ashtray. He didn't hit him with bristles of the
broom, he hit him with the handle. It was cracking all over the
place, and they were all laughing. After that, Klip ran back to the
room and locked himself in again. He didn't come out again.
The atmosphere suddenly fell. We were scattered about the
room and looking at the ceiling. Everyone was preoccupied with
56
his own wonies. and I would bet my right arm that there
female person somewhere 111 ninety percent of the cases. We sat,
kept silent, waited. Our strength was ahout goPL' when
the game finally started. Its outcome raised us up just enough to
give us the strength to go home. It was the most unpleasant night
in rny life up to then. When we got into the :;treet. it Weis already
dawn. The day was gloomy and cold and was not m:1ch differ
ent from the night. It may have stunk a little more.
A few days later, the first snmv came. finding me in the
schoolyard. My classes were finished. but in those days I always
waited for Ana and walked her to the bus. She did not wait for
me when she had fewer classes than me. On that day I had five
classes, and she had seven. It was around eight in the e\ening,
and 1 was sitting in the schoolyard. wrapped in my coat The 'ihit
in my ass was freezing. I spent some time with Daca at the kiosk,
but she was getting tiresome with her mediocre stories, so I left
the kiosk on the pretext I was going to the toilet. I hung around
in the corridors a little, but I didn't go back to the kiosk. I
entered an empty classroom and lay down on a teacher's table. I
was lying on my back in the absolute darkness, looking at the
ceiling. There was one single shadow on the ceiling and it was
not moving. I didn't think about anything. I didn't know why I
was waiting for Ana after classes. r was afraid my demands
would only boil down to her cunt. I elevated my demands and
my feelings to the moon. Anything but the cunt. How could
someone who had never even seen a cunt talk about one? No.
l
What I needed from Ana was music, charisma, friendship, and i
possibly a kiss. At least I imagined it like that lying on the table I
in the darkness. The thought occurred to me that I was turning I,,:
into a moron. I didn't like those ideas, so I left the dark class-

li
I
Ji
The Dance of Small-Time Demons 57
--- ----------
room. The corndors were empty. I went out in the yard again.
I was sitting on <t bench, looking at the school building.
Lights were on in one single classroom. and thosc wcr:: th-:
of Ana's class. A shadow was on the opposite wall of the
building. The air was chilly and the sky red. I looked at the sky
and something landed in my eye. Something small wet. I
swore and rubbed my eves I looked at the <:ky again It :;til!
red. Under the light from that classroom, one could vaguely make
out the snowflakes. The snm\. falling deceptively. It could not
be immediately recognized, but the eye of an experienced snnw
expert like me was skillfully catching every snowflake which fell
under the light from the second floor classroom. It was falling
more and more heavily. I looked the sky. It red, dappled
with black dots. The black dots were the shadows of the white
snow. The snow fell into my eyes. I kept my hands in pockets.
The hell rang to end the class.
Ana came out of the building and kissed me on the cheek
She was honestly happy about the snow. Her girlfnends looked
at me sympathetically as if they wanted to tell me somethmg:. But
they said nothing. They only gave those compassionate looks and
went home.
Ana and I passed the Tasmajdan swimming pool. We could
hear heartbreaking music in the distance. The music was insipid,
but she liked it. Then she stopped and hugged me. We were
swinging and hugging under the snow that fell on our heads, the
duffle coat and the overcoat. We were disgusting. I felt repulsive
to such sucker plays but I found something romantic in this. l
was no fucking punk, I was a real turd. The pathetic kind of turd.
We were standing and hugging and looking at each other from a
ten centimeter distance. Maybe that was the moment for some-
thing? Maybe not. Maybe the moment never existed, maybe it
would never exist. Maybe. Our faces were very close. The
snowflakes were falling between them. and they melted right
58 !v!arku VidojkOl ic'
away, under the heat uf Ana's breath and the ugliness of my pim-
pled face. She <.tood back from me, held my hand and drew me
toward the bus stop. If it !wd heen the moment for somethinrr.
r d blown it again.
''[ would love tu play the drums," she said all of a sudden.
"What
1
"
"l said, I would love to pL!y the dmrns."
"1 know a drummer."
'[ could meet him, to give me a few tips on the drums."
"You met him the other day. We went to buy Coca-Cola and
you were going home."
"Really''"
'Yeah.''
We were Loming to the bus stop and her bus \Vas drawmg
111 slowly. She wa\ed to me and star1ed running after it. She
caught up anc1 g,Jt on. It dn\ e her somewhere. The bus was une
of my many enemies.
When l got horne. it was snowing like mad. ln zme hour, the
first layer was on the sidewalk. l was sitting in my room, look-
ing outside onto the e>treet. The layer was there, and under the
street light you could sec it was still snowing. Every child in
town hoped it would never stop. Every child in town would be
betrayed. The snow was an old traitor.
*
The new year. 1992, arrived deviously. 1 didn't even take
notice of it. New years are marked and celebrated by people that
l don't get. I spent New Year's Eve at horne, listening to music,
and I fell asleep before midnight. l didn't wish anyone a happy
New Year the next day. The next day, no one wished me a happy
New Year.
The Dance ol c'l'mal/- rime Demons 59
One evening, at the be?-inning of 1992. Bata and l were sit
ting in Klip's apartment. Klips folks were not home. and he was
in a strange mood. He was hanging around the apartment only in
his underwear although there was no heating. His hair
messed-up and he refused to speak. Normally he was a ta!i.:atin,
guy, but now he kept silent and answered our questions with
head, hands, and pantomime. It was so boring th<lt it hurt. We
were sitting at the table.
I cast a glance at a bottle and asked Klip what in it. He
made a blank face which said: "How the fuck should I know'-"'
I got hold of the bottle and sniffed its content. [t smelkd sweet.
I asked Bata what it was. He smffed and knowledgably claimed
that it was rum. I instantly remembered Doppio Rhu111 and Doctor
Salasso'' and the rum suddenly looked tempting tq me
"Come 011. you &irL let's sec who's got b1gger guip_ I
told Bata all of a sudden.
"Let's see," Bata 'aid.
He stuck the bottle into his mouth with his left hand. and he
held an index finger in the air a> if he were conducting an
tra. I counted four gulps. Then I took the bottle with both
and started knocking it back. l closed my eyes. Eben gulps.
Bata acknowledged my victory and went to get a little water. But
I didn't stop there. I wanted to feel rny limits. l started downing
it again. Twelve gulps. When Bata carne back. I started knock-
ing it back for the third time. Again twelve gulps. Klip almost
started to speak. He waved his hands severely Lrying tu explain
something to us. Probably something we had already heard. "No
bottoms up' ;'\lo bottoms up_ I upended the bottle again. Fourteen
gulps. I smashed the whole bottle. Rum was a sweet son nf a
bitch, easy to drink. Bata was looking at me in ama1.ement, Kiip
was looking at me in amazement. l didn't even feel dizzy. I was
60
Marko
1
/idojkovi{
completely sober. I was the master of rum. My were buck-
ling a little but that could really be overlooked. Finally. Khp
couldn't resist any more.
"You idiot. you drank down the whole bottle. You"ll die: he
said.
''I won't,'' I said.
"You will. you will, and I won't let that happen in this flat
Let's
Klip started talking more nonsense. We were sitting and look-
ing at him as he put the windbreaker and hoots on his naked
body.
"Move!'' He yelled.
We asked him where we were going. and he said we were
going to his dead grandmother's old flat in Zvezdara. There was
no point in opposing him. We went out to the and I fell
on the sidewalk. It wns as if something had whipped me on my
back. 1 was lying on the sidewalk and laughing. Klip and Bata
mstantly started theorizing that the cold air had hit me in the
back, that I was dead drunk, that I had only thirty minutes to
live. Someone who didn't drink could not survive after drinking
a !iter of rum all at once. But l was resolved to survive; it was
,mly that I could not stand up. Fits of laughter came over me. I
was lying in the snow and giggling. People were passing by, and
the more experienced among them could recognize the damned
underage moron. the inexperienced amateur drunkard, ready for
anything if only he could sniff the cunt of his beloved princess.
They were passing by and laughing at me. I was laughing at them
as well, because they were the same as me, and they were much
older than me. They also wanted to sniff, but their compromised
lives made them sniff something else and be satisfied with that.
The damned pussies. I tried to lift myself up. Klip and Bata
helped me. The scene probably looked monstrous because the two
of them were two meter tall and I was barely 1.75. The front of
r
The Dance of Small-Time Demons 61
my black coat was completely white with but I didn't care
much. What the hell, I was drunk.
Somehow we got to a and got on it with difficul
ty. There was no place to sit. so we tried to stand. Bat a and Klip
managed. and I collapsed on the floor I was lying and watching
with my eyes closed. A million of light were jumping, and
the trolleybus was wandering in cirdes.
The next thing I was aware of was the flat of Klip s grand-
mother. It was located right beside the Zvezdara police station. I
saw some kind of a door. wallpaper. a ceiling. I noticed the cob-
webs on the ceilmg and thought to myself that It was Klip's fault
for not maintaining the flat. Then I at the carpet from a
distance of some five centimeters, crawlin;; on it. Crumbs flew
into my nose. In the distance I could hear my friends t:!lking. I
could grasp what they were saying as they were pronouncwg it.
but already a second later I could not thing.
The team nf expens, comprised of Klip and Bata. 11nanirnous
ly made the diagnosis that my young life was approaching its end.
Something haJ to be done. Our group 't quite well mentally.
and people tended to look at us as being bound straight for hell:
still none of us was an alcoholic or a drug addict. Not yet. It was
unfortunate that Klip and Bata did not know how to help Bata
recalled his father's drunken days, so he proposed to make me some
tea and brine. lf there was anything I hated, I hated the brine. l
lying on the tloor in the corridor, my head against some old shoes.
I am sure I had a smile on my face. To me. the room was spin-
ning around. Then one of them approached me and stuck the brine
under my nose. I drank it. Jesus. I sat. I had to wash the sauerkraut
out of my mouth. I cast my eyes on the adjacent credenza and saw
a half-liter bottle of vodb. I grabbed it, opened it, and started emp-
tying it into myself. My friends were somewhere else, they were
probably pouring anot-her dose of brine. They came over to me.
One took my head while the other onl' stuck the tea into my mouth.
62 Marko Vidojkovic
Boiling tea. It scalded me totally, but I hadn't the strength to react.
The boiling tea ran everywhere, down my throat. my chin, my coat.
Then they went away. I went back to my bottle.
The next thing I saw was the faucet in Klip 's bathroom. I
still had my coat on, and Bata and Klip tried to put me in the
bathtub. I thought they wanted to drown me. They ran the water
and went out of the bathroom. and the water somehow hit nnly
my head. Cold water. By some miracle, everything was dry
except my head, and I was sitting in the bathtub, fully dressed.
In a couple of minutes, I recovered a little and came out of the
bathroom. There was coffee wmting for me in the living room. It
was boiling too, hut I felt no taste in my mouth. Bata and Klip
were looking at me waiting for something to happen. Something
did happen - I ran out of Klip's tlat. I ran out and started bar
rehng down the stairs. When I finished with the staircase, i ran
out of the building. I ran down the street searchmg for a tr3m,
trolley, or space ~ h u t t l stop. Policemen from the Zvezdara police
station we1e looking at me indifferently. Once I thought I heard
voices ot my friends, but those might have been the voices of
my friends, or maybe someone else's voices. I ran. Ran. Ran.
By some miracle I found my way to the Boulevard. There
were tram tracks there. and if there were tram tracks there had
to be a tram nearby. I approached one human being and asked
what the time was. I could not discern what was it - a woman.
a man, an old woman, an aged man, a kid- my eyes were closed.
I didn't manage to formulate my question in the most correct
way. I was thinking to myself: What's the time? What's the time'7
but what I really asked was a great mystery. The human went
away. I came to another human. It moved uway, not waiting to
hear my first words. I bumped into a car. I stooped down beside
the car and looked at myself in the rearview mirror. My head was
reeling. With cold water, boiling coffee, and boiling tea on it. I
stood up and saw a new human being.
F
'
...
The Dance of SnwtrTimc Demom
------------------- --
the time'
1
"
The being was standing. looking at me, silent.
''What's the time)"
Still the same. This being "as not very mce. I decided to
kick its ass.
"Ya naw wht. .. answer. .. hell. .. aaaah .. ouch
1
"
In my mind I had \aid: "You know what. either an,wcr 111\
question or go to fucking he!J!" The being wa' still silent.
Standing in front of me. I squinted my eyes at it. Its posture was
proud. and there was some kind of light emanating from it.
Maybe I was mcctmg Uoc1'
1
Uod d1dnt ex1st. I tried to touch 111m.
He didn't resist. but my fing..:r could not reach him. l kept hit
ting at some invisible harrier. lt was either God or a had joke.
Then somebody took me by the shPulders.
why are you staring at rhat doll in the v. 111dow'''
He had found me somehow and was 1ne sont<'
thing I tried to open my and I sw:cecded partlv.
Thing., got a little bit clearer, hut there w:1-; stil! :. LrrlLsl\)ll Ill
my head. The person was still there. Bata it was a duil in
the window. I wished to say it was God, hut I gav_ up.
The tram came.
Bata gave me brief instru.:tion-; un how to get hnme from ti:c
stop near the Law School. and I got off the tram. First I sat dov.n
a while nn a nc:.Jrhy garbage c:w. It was cold, but i\ '110\\
ing any more after that first night. I had no idea how I gct home.
l didn't know what the time v1a:;. I entered the tlat Mother wa:;
watching TV. As usual, I didn't ;ay hello. I went to bed.
next day I had to go to schonl. .\ whole day's instruction m
Computer Science was on the agenda. That meant e' d spend the
whole dav in \vith ci::bty year old computers A
64
bc:smcs:,, hut our unexcused absences had not yet been forgotten
and \vc !iittl to be thcre. We were supposed to come for the pre-
In thc morning. That wa', a very rare practice. Connn!:-'
to pre-period meant coming ttl with the cleaning women
who unlocked the doors. That was about to happen Ill a fe\\
hours. :llld I was lying on the bed tully dressed and deJd drunk.
I could not reJily tell for sme. but l think I didn't ,Jeep the
whole ni!:ht. l was just lying and \vaiting, and the room v. as
revolving. Then I noticed the dawn through the blinds. I stood up
from bed and set off to school.
\Vhen l wa:-. in front of the 'chool building. tl hadn l been
unlocked yet. l didn't know what the time was, say six or half
!Xlst -,ix in the morning. The state in my head was very dis-
putabk, somewhere between drunken and sober. l w:1s aware of
everything. l could see e\ erything clearly. but my were
a hit turn apart. My mouth wa> humt. and the only ta,tc 111 it
11as the taste ol brin::. The :;ky was gray. I expected !1\l ;tan
any minute. So\Jn the tir:-.t cleaning woman carne along.
She \vas the h,ad janitor, the one who kept kicking u-; out of the
.,chool toilet when we kicked around the bloody pads thrown by
the toilet. She looked at me. My coat was full of stains. my face
was probably pale, dappled with acne. and 1 was looking al the
\vall wnh my bloodshot eyes. She unlocked the school g:1te and
I followed her. l sat in the yard, on a bench. And fell asleep.
Someone was shaking me. Toza. We were divided into two
group..;. Group A to M was with one teacher, and group M to Z
with another. Toza and Kosta in my group.
''You look like hell, man
1
'' Toza told me.
This is my real face. my friend," I answered smilingly.
"Class is starting. Let\ go."
''Ld's go.''
We set off. Our group had the block tuition in the basement.
The school w::s all empty. Tl'ere was not a single computer in
nf Sma/1-Jimr Denun" 65
l ----------
the basement, which probably meant the class would be purely
theoretical. l didn't know the teacher. He was maybe
more than we were. f WJ''n't feeling well. bu: a> luck
would have it, he came over. and ordered me to find an
eraser somewhere. I went out. I got to the classroom on the
right side of the corridor and lay down on the te<Jchcr s desk.
When [ woke up. I went to the blackbo<m:! and took the
er. A rather sleepy atmosphere was waiting for me in the base-
ment classroom where the class was takmg place. The
was grumbling some crap no one could understand. A huge d1ck
with stickmen jumping out of its head was drawn on the black-
board. As there was no eraser. the teacher wrote his teaching
shit on the free space around the dick. My class looked like shit.
which was reasonable knowing that some of us had to wake up
that morning at four to get to class. The neon light cast its
monotonous ray on their heads and everyone's hair was shining
a little. I left the eraser beside the hbckboard and 'tctrteJ fc.1 my
seat.
"Not so fast," the teacher called out.
I went to my seat, sat down and looked at him.
"Who told you to sit'7" He asked.
I kept silent looking at one spot on his forehead.
"Where have you been up to now? I sent you to get the eras-
er forty minutes ago.''
"It took me that long to find one."
"Is that so?"
"Yeah."
"Why are you so pale. young man?'"
"''m not feeling well. Let me go home."
"Oh, no, no horne. If you're not welL you shouldn't have
come to school in the first place. Don't ask me to let you go.
Why didn't you go to the doctor's?"
Marko Vidojkovi<'
l \', '" silent. What was I supposed to to the doctor'' "You
know. dtlL', ,[liter ur rum. half a lttcr of vodka, disgusting brine.
and te:: l'm dying ...
"Wait. wair. .. " The teacher said and came to rne. "Let me
sec >omething. Blow'"
I blc,v in his nose with full force. He almost cmsht:d. He
rrulic a LiCe and stood a couple of :;tep; awav
.. Young man. you ve got issues."
"No. I don't.''
"Y nu 're drunk ...
"No. l'm not."
"Datl bases can be .. " He turned back to the blackboard and
went on with the lecture. Fie wiped off the dick with the dry eras-
er and on its contours drew some schemes. He left me alone. 1
lay my head on the table trying to hear the sound of the pencil
Tuza was to copy the schemes cliligently from the black-
board. Did ht cupy [he click and stickmen too'
1
l fell asleep.
The did,1't Jet us go on breaks so we would finish
up carlin. ! \\Oke up somewhere at the end of the second peri-
od and among the loudest aclvllcates for recess. The teacher
gave up and let us out.
I was standing in the middle of the schoolyard and looking
at the sky. lt was snowing feebly. Someone approached me from
the and put hands on my eyes. Small soft, stinking hands.
turned. and Ana started at my looks.
"What is it with you, look at yourself!"
"Why, this is one of my better days," I replied.
The snow was falling on us, and she didn't like my tone. She
went away. l3aki approached me. He complained that his Milka,
Marija or whatever her name was, had kicked him in the ass. He
said she dumped him because he had tried to grope her breast
while they were sitting in the theater. He told me how depressed
Time l!emOJ!!__ _________ ____________ _
67
he was and how much he missed her. I was sick and ever time
I gulped, I tasted the brine. He told me that tht:ir Con:, 'iter
Science teacher was a gcmus Their teacher used tu _jot, ,uoutid
and allegedly listened to the lousy music as me.
"They are all old pussies. my bro. They were all defeattd a
I n
a time ago," I told him.
0 0
"You look like shit. Baldy. Look at your coat. the stain-,. It
I didn't know you better. I could swear you stink of brine."
"No, not a chance. What the heck kind of brine:'"
"Thank fuck for this being finished."
"What?"
"The tem1."
"What do you mean, the term's finished')''
'Today is the last day. don't tell me you didn't klww.
"I knew. I was just fucking with you."
I didn't know. It seemed it really the end of the firsi
term. That meant that the first term for the 12th group ot ti''-' ,,:c-
ond year finished with a whole day of Computer Science. l
looked once more on the schoolyard and went home. l couldn't
bear to think of that basement, that teacher, his schemes, <Jnd con-
tours of the giant dick on the blackboard. I slept till the next day.
I spent the last day of the two-week vacation at my father's.
Sunday. We were sitting and watching a series about the fast guy.
He was still fast and still solving crimes. His costume was red,
made of rubber. Father pulled out lunch from somewhere. The
lunch was complete: soup, grub, dessert. I was sure he didn't
cook it himself. I didn't ask nor was I too interested in who
cooked my Sunday lunch. He went to the kitchen to wash the
dishes, and I hung around the flat. I went into the room where
grandma used to sleep once. I looked around a little. The bed
68
Marko ViJojkovi(
was made up and seemed as it were waiting for someone tu lie
there Not me. There was also a closet and a chest of drawers. I
opened the closet and there was nothing except the btd linen I
opened the chest of drawers. It was full of costume jewelry, and
there wa:' also a box with medicines. The medicine was mostly
in small bottles. small. round. and of different colors. I didn't
know what they were fnr. But. in one large black b ~ there were
several dozens of packages of some valium. I opened one of them
and looked at the instructions. What did grandma need a ton of
sedatives for'i I heard stories about those medicines. People took
them with alcohol and dropped into a coma, people took It In
large doses and dropped dead. I imagined that killing myself
could possibly come to my mind in the following few days so I
decided to confiscate the valium from my grandmother. It was
wmtcr, and I w ~ wearing a coat, so the black bag was easy to
hide. especially from a father like mine. 1 got back to the living
:oom. He still hadn't finished washwg the dishes. I heard him
grumbling in the kitchen. I concealed the hag under my coat and
put the coat on the sofa. r acted dumb.
When father got hack from the kitchen, he was talking about
politics again. The war in Croatia was over and we sort of demol-
ished a few cities there. Father was irritated with the animals that
lived in our country and convinced me that a social-democratic
option was the way to go in the future. He said it was a mixture
of capitalism and socialism and that such a system was in power
in Sweden. I nodded. My only option was anarchy.
When I walked down the stairs. the ancient freak with the
hooked nose who l had met before grandma's funeral intercept-
ed me at the entrance.
'Poor Boban, this is a bad business."
"Go away, witch. What do you want from me?"
"I know all. I know about your getting drunk, about the med-
Ications ... "
- - -----.. ---------
...
The Dance of Small-Time Demons 69
------------------------
"What the fuck getting drunk? I got drunk only twice in life.
Go away, or I' II kick you with this boot!"
I raised my right leg and showed the witch my Doc Martens
shoe. The old crow moved away and let me pass. 1 was eating
them for breakfast. On the way to the stop, l dropped the bag
from the coat, and bottles of medicine fell out. Some kids were
looking at me, pointing fingers. The kids laughed at me. Stupid
little stinking dirty sons of bitches. Kids were always cruel and
merciless. I put the bottles back in the bag, and they still point-
ed their small fingers at me and made faces. I started running and
kicked one of the kids in the ass. The meanest one. The kid fell
down with his face in the mud and cried. I kicked another kid in
the ass, and other kids ran away. I decided to walk to the next
bus stop in case one of them called their heavily armed large-
mustached father to go after me. I went around into the apart-
ment blocks and disappeared.
*
I finished the first term with only three Fs. Phys Ed,
and Physics. All four of us got Fs in Phys Ed because we hadn't
shown up once for class. Our school had no gym, so we had Phys
Ed at the May 25th sports hall, and we really hated going there.
The teacher sent word to us that if we wanted to get by with Ds,
we would have to come at least once during the school year to
take the tests. We would come. Once. I got the F in Serbian
because I didn't read any of the books, and in the essay I
described some of my anarchistic observations on society. I used
dirty language as well, and I also messed up the topic since the
topic supposed to be Fall and Its Fruits. The Serbian teacher was
a good woman and couldn't fail anyone on a make-up exam, so
I didn't worry much about the grade. But Physics was total dark-
70 Marko
----------------
ness. Half of the class had Fs, and the woman-monster who
taught it, was notorious for sending kids to make-up exams. and
she wasn't any easier at the make-up exam either. l was totally
unclear about all that shit. I was unclear about the principles that
said I would fall if the public bus stopped suddenly. Or any other
principle for that matter. Everything was black there, \Vith no
prospects of success.
There was also an F in Behavior, but that one did some good
as we didn't play hooky any more. The headmistress had an ace
up her sleeve, which mainly boiled down to ritual humiliation.
The second term hadn't really starkJ yet, and we were
already supposed to go to the grand hall for an assembly for the
school feast day, Saint Sava Day. Communists celebrated Saint
Sava Day and any assembly on that occasion was doomed to be
a total disaster. Each class nominated five representatives who
went to the assembiy. The headmistress came to the third period
and called on Toza. Kosta, Baki, me, and of our class,
Marija Bo;kuvic. We were our classes delegation. Mari.Ja
Boskovic was okay -- for two years I had not spoken a word to
her - but the four of us were not okay. We looked like hell,
ragged and exhausted. Only Baki Markovic was dressed up. The
headmistress wanted to humiliate the biggest rebels in the school.
We sat in the last row, and she sat beside us.
Everybody talked about Dijana Jankovic. That slut was one
year younger than us and was regarded as the best chick in school.
To me personally she looked like a small cannon, loaded, with a
huge ass, and not so large, though striking, tits. Her face was
round and she was definitely not my type. I tried to convince them
all that they were all wrong, that if she took off her clothes she'd
look probably fatter than Santa Claus, but no one was listening to
me. Dijana Jankovic was sitting two rows in front of us and we
could discern her tits through the cleavage. A more careful look-
er could make out the outline of her nipples. She represented her
p:
The Dance o( Smo/1- Time Demons 7 J
--------------------------------- -- -------- -------------- - -
class, and she pointed out her tih so much that even the women
teachers noticed. was looking at her llts. nut paymg
attention to Saint Sava 's recitals. Dijana ga\e my classmatt' T, )/.i
her telephone number a couple of months before. and once the:
even went out. But "the girl is tough. she won't let you ki;:, her:
my friend used to say. DiJana Jankuvic kncv .. her price.
Ana sat three rows in front uf us. She was the rcprl'Sent:tttvc
of her class I was the only one who was looklllg at her. i\na
was all in beads and was a real delight for the eyes. During the
winter vacation she was at her grandmother's 111 some viilage near
Kursumlija. They had no electricity or toilet there. and they prob-
ably hunted \volves. We hadn't heard from each other. and now
I was looking at the back of her head. and called her in my
thoughts to turn around. She turned around. saw me. waved to
me, and everything \vas as before. Weeks without contact with
her seemed like a clay. She was there again.
After the she and I sat in the schoolvard a little
She was in an m1hudox hippie unifmm. and l in un orthodox
punk uniform. I hadn't cut my hair October, and then at
the end of January my hair was long enough that I could apply
beer to it and create my old Sid Vicious haircut. People came
closer to us and said \Ve were a very cute couple. We sat, stared
at them. and neither one of us denied that we were a couple.
Maybe for those ten minutes we really were a couple. When Ana
and I got out of the schooL we saw Toza and Dijana Jankovic
french-kissing in the middle of the stdewalk. So. Toza made it.
The scene wasn't pleasant to watch because Toza opened his
mouth as if he wanted to eat an apple in one bite. He thrust that
gaping mouth into Dijana's mouth. He soaked half the girl's face.
and only her eyes were visible. It looked like he was soaking up
her insides. His eyes were open, he was looking around and
winking to acquaintances. Her eyes were closed, and her red hair
was fluttering in the wind.
72
Marko Vidojkovic'
When I got home, mother gave me the neatly signed draft
slip from the conscription office. This was new. I was the first
to get that shit, and resolved to be the last one to go there. Mv
so-called fatherland was calling me, but my real fatherland was
my small room, and its army was me. I tore up the blue envel-
ope and ordered my mother never again to sign anything for any-
one, and that she should tear up every other shit like this that she
should come across in the mailbox. I was here by complete acci-
dent. This was not my country and I was not its citizen. We owed
nothing to each other.
The headmistress went on with her humiliation and discipli-
nary measures. Already after a few days, we were supposed to
go to the theater. Several from the class applied voluntarily. I
guess they were craving for good old Nusic*. r didn't feel like
anything, and I didn't feel like Nusic at all. But, the headmistress
ordered the four of us to go. We didn't have to pay for the tick-
et, she generously offered to take all four of us to the theater.
There was no point complaining. She promised us we would get
Ds in Behavior if we persevered this test.
We went to school in the morning shift. We agreed to meet
in front of the school at seven in the evening and go to Crveni
Krst by trolleybus.
I arrived on time, and Toza and Dijana were already stand-
ing in front of the school. They were cheerful, youth resonated
from their souls. Farts resonated from mine. Kosta and Baki came
along, so we all went toward the stop.
We met the headmistress in front of the theater. She gave us
the tickets and sent me a snide remark on my looks. Then she
left for somewhere with the other teachers, and we stayed in front
-
,
The Dance ()/Small-Time Demons 73
---------- -----------
of the theater, waiting for the performance to Then Ana
came by.
She came with some guy. They were holding The guy
was a head taller than ail of us, and he looked totally mediocre.
in no way like the boyfriend of a rebel girl like Ana. I
he was some brother or cousin from the province. hut then they
started frenching. You don't do tbt with brothers. It a to
rible sight. They were frenching for so, so long, and I stood
beside them so, so closely. After the frenching, Ana and her
'brother" came over to me.
"Let me mtroduce you. 1 his is Bol--1, my best triend."
May Boki screw you, I thought.
The turd came closer to me and cordially gave me lm hand.
1 accepted the greeting. He said, "t\lirko, nice to meet you," and
I muttered my name. He was wearing the silk shirt and trousers
that adults wore. he was one of them. Then they ent\."red
the building. Bab and ToLa stood a few rnet<.>,rs away from us. I
went over to them.
"What's this now. Baldy'' Who's that guy'
1
" Baki asked me.
"Her brother," I replied and went to find a grocery.
I found one, went in, and bought a liter of grape brandy.
Although the weather was rather wam1, I had a coat on and I
could smuggle the bottle into the theater very easily. We sat in
the last row, and when lights went off, I took out the bottle and
started knocking it back. Baki and Kosta were sitting by my side.
and Toza was sitting two rows in front of us with Dijana. They
were partially illuminated hy the stage lights. Again they were
frenching. and Toza again opened his jaws as wide as if he was
sucking in Dijanas head. He sucked, and she was exploring his
tonsils with her tongue.
Kosta and Baki were thrilled with my bottle. I chugged some
ten gulps, two or three times - which was probably enough to get
me drunk soon. I left the bottle to my friends, and they finished
74
Marko Vidojkovi(
it off. The play was not even half way through, hundred year-old
provincial humor permeated the theater, and I was a little Jizzy
l stood up, and Raki started pulling me by the sleeve.
"Where are you going, Baldy?'' He whispered.
"I'm going to the stage. My part is next." I repiicd.
I went out into the hall and found the toilet. There was no
nne in the toilet. I washed and looked myself in the mirror
Judging by my face, I could see I was drunk. It was white, with
red acne around the mouth and nn the forehead, the eyes were
blank. bloodshot and were looking somewhere ten centimeters
behind the mirror. Everythmg else looked much better than the
damned face. so l decided not to look at it any more. I ';dt on
the floor and waited.
No one came, anJ by the applause of the audJeth:e, thrilled
with the fantaqic acting, l concluded the performance had fin-
ished. The headmistress had onlered us to be in front ,>f the the-
ater after the pLly ;o that she could make -,ure we had been there
the whole time. I stood up and headed out.
Kosta, Baki, Toza and Dijana were standing in front of the
theater. When I arrived no one asked me anything. I caught
Dijana's frenzied look, ~ h o k e d at my condition, and then l
caught her tits which were blazing from the cleavage of her black
jacket. She was wearing flared trousers, but she wasn't a true
hippie. No one was a true hippie, they were all really peasant
girls ready to get married. To be honest, i myself wasn't a true
punk either. I was an underage good-for-nothing, with no stand-
ing. no pride, no ideas, and mad for one black-haired ass. The
headmistress came and Kosta, Baki and I stood at some distance
from her so that she couldn't detect our alcoholic stench. Even if
she had smelt it, she didn't rl."act. She praised us and told us to
bring our report cards the next day so that she could write down
Ds in Behavior for us.
f'
The Dance 4 Small-Time Demons 75
In the trolleybus, ToLa and Dijana sat on the raised seats over
the wheels. They were frenching in their manner. and the
passengers were looking at Di_iana's breasts. I sat all the way up
front beside an old woman who soon stood up and remained
standing. No one else sat beside me, people preferred It) stand
and jostle around.
I thought about Ana for a couple of I decid-
ed to take some concrete to bring my life to where it
belonged - either into t1owers or into shit.
It was Monday. February. We went to school in the after-
noon. I was standing in the middle of the schoolyard and look-
ing at the sun. It was warm. The winter was light and aside from
a few snows in December and at the beginning (Jf January. it
looked more like spring. Rut. winters in Belgrade coulrl he both
chilly and warm, and life could he a t1ower less and less.
Actually, it could not be flower at all if the one who lived that
life were a turd.
Ana came across and kissed me on the cheek. I gave her a
fucked-up look and t1ung everything straight to her face.
"Listen, I love you. I have been in love with you since who-
knows-when and who-knows-why. We cannot be friends, we can
only be together. That way or no way. I know you have a
boyfriend, but I don't give a damn about that. Think about it, and
let me know."
She stood still for a couple of seconds, as if my words
entered her head with a small time delay. Then she burst into
tears and ran into the building. I didn't know what kind of tears
they were. but it seemed to me they were the false conceited tears
of a spoiled teenage girl used to holding the whole world in the
palm of her hand. Then again, maybe they were the tears of a
76
Marko Vidojkovic
betrayed friend. Whatever they were, the tears were a very bad
sign. I went to class, and before the teacher came, an unknown
chick darted into the classroom and slipped a piece of paper into
my hand. From a school notebook, one hundred lined pages.
Unknown handwriting. but it looked like female. The sentences
were aligned in verses. as if it were some kind of poem, but there
was no rhyme. I read it. There were :.1 million of of
speech, figurative meanings. but the sense wus obvious. The per-
son who wrote this crap was furious because someone in whom
she trusted had betrayed her, because her best friend betrayed her.
It was signed Ana. Translated iuto human language, she was dis-
appointed because I gave priority to her tits and her cunt over
her soul. Fuck the soul when you have no tits. Ana was pathet-
ic I wadded the piece of paper and threw it at some stupid girl
who had gotten on my nerves since the first day of school. She
turned furiously, and when she saw who hit her, she went back
to what she was doing. So, that was the end. My chances had
been slight. but I still felt some kind of inexplicable relief. I was
free. The depression pecking at me for months flew with that
piece of paper to the head of Tatjana Zoric, and from her it rico-
cheted against the dusty floor of the classroom. I decided to
declare war on the whole world.
I went out of the classroom, Baki ran after me and asked
where I was going.
'"Anywhere but the class," I answered.
''What about the unexcused absences, and getting kicked out
of Baki complained.
"What are you whimpering about, you 'II never get kicked out
of school. Your old man is their master. After all. now we've got
Ds in Behavior. We can cause as much shit as we want. See
you.''
"Wait, Baldy, I'm coming with you.''
-
p
The Dance o{ Small- Time Demons 77

I called Bata and told him to find a ';tudio immediately where
we could play. He was surprised by my new euphoria and zeal
and after a few days he already came up with the suggestion that
we go to the Aquarium. The i\tjuarium was a studio in Marinkova
Bara. People said that it was a very good and cheap studio. 'vVe
decided to check it out.
I pulled my guitar out of the dust and went there. Bus 25
went to the studio. The 25 passed by the Youth Stadium, where
the end station of tbe I 01 was. That reminded me ot Ana, caus-
ing some unknown power to stab me slowly in the stomach.
Many things reminded me of Ana despite the fact that our con-
t;tcts were never too frequent. Mainly in the schoolyard or on the
phone. Since the last incident in the schoolyard. however, there
had been no more contact. For an unknown reason, every kind of
tree reminded me of her. there were cars that reminded me of
her. Kaiemegdan Park reminded me of her, although we had
never been there together. 1 was obviously obsessed with Ana.
but I persevered boldly. For instance, the scene in front of the
theater when she and her "brother" frenched, and enjoyed it.
clearly turned me away from her. The scene was so powerful in
its hideousness that I could never allow Ana the right to feel
betrayed. I had been the one who was betrayed.
The studio was in a family house and was easy enough to
find, bearing in mind the labyrinth of the Marinkova Bara nar-
row streets. The owner of the studio was a kind of an ever
drowsy good-willed hippie. The amplifiers, drums, and speakers
were very good, and the hippie included a drink in the miserable
price of the rehearsal. He gave out beer and juice to band mem-
bers. At the time, all bands played Nirvana's Smells Like Teen
Spirit. Nirvana was relatively unknown, and Smells Like was a hit
the whole town suddenly went nuts about. A band that was in
78
Marko Vidojkovi(
the studio before us was playing the song We came
twenty minutes earlier, and they piayed the same thing for the
whole twenty minutes. They were desperate. and the hippie <.;;ll
with us in front of the chamber. slowly nodding his head to the
rhythm of the music, keeping a :,mile on his face. He asked us
if we would have something to drink. and we declined. He was
a bit disappointed.
When we entered the studio, we realized that we couldn't
remember one" single song from The Ghosts era. I tried to play
something on my guitar, but without success. We were -;tanding
around with no ideas when l started playing Smells Like Teen
Spirit. Just like that. The riff was appallingly easy, so it some-
how came under my fingers. We played. I sang, and we looked
like complete morons to ourselves. The rehearsal was supposed
to last for two hours, but already after forty minutes we were
ready to go. We we11t out, and the hippie was sitting in front of
the studio, carefree' and smiling. He asked us why we had fin-
ished so early. and l told him we could not think of any songs.
Then he asked us if we' d like a drink, and we said no. We paid
for the rehearsal and were
We agree<i at the bus stop to rehearse some things at home
first next time. before going to the studio. We agreed that the stu-
dio was okay. that the hippie was okay. and that we were stupid
not to have taken that drink.
Tge 25 was packed. We jostled, and I tried to protect myself
from ihe large number of odious human heings with my guitar.
Suddenly I a female person two or three meters away. hold-
ing the bar. She was in agony. They were pushing and strangling
her. She had short black hair like Ana, she was built like Ana.
My heart began to beat in a frenzy, and that made me nervous.
I my stupid heart for beating like it was insane, there was
no reason for that. Fuck a heart that pounds for one miniature
female soul. When she turned around, I saw that she wasn't Ana.
-
p
The Dance of Small-Time Demons __________ 79
It was a woman of around forty. She had features identical to
Ana's. She looked like Ana might in twenty-five years. I thought
for a moment that I had found myself on the 25 bus in 3 future
Belgrade, with a future Ana before my eyes. She looked worn-
out. I bent all the way down to see if she were wearing a wed-
ding ring. She was. Would Ana look so wornout too? Had thi'i
woman ever looked to someone like Ana once looked to me'
1
And
everything started with her tits and ass. I turned my head, and
then I bent over again to see what the time was on any of the
wristwatches which hung on the sweaty wi-ists around me. Twenty
past nine in the evening. I got off near the Youth Stadium and
went home on foot. I passed the I 0 I station and hated myself for
wishing to come across Ana. I could come across her any day in
school. In three days Bata phoned me and told me that Aquarium
had closed. No one knew why. I decided to chili out with rock
'n' roll for awhile.
Despite everything, things with Ana soon \Vent back to nor-
mal. I could not act as if I didn't recognize her in the schoolyard,
so we slowly began to speak again. No one mentioned my disor-
derly conduct. At the same time, Baki and I started playing hooky
a lot more. Kosta missed full days of school. while Toza sat in the
classroom and was a good student. His relationship with Dijana
ended ingloriously. They accused one another of bad breath. I
myself knew that this was the case for Toza, but I didn't know
about her. Toza said she had given him a hand-job once, but he
dumped her after that. This kind of talk from a disappointed
teenager should have been taken with a big grain of salt. but then
again, it was easy to picture Dijana giving someone a hand-job.
The 9th of March was the anniversary of last year's demon-
strati,ons. A rally was scheduled, and our principal, the weekend
80
Marko Vidojkovic
warrior and a convinced communist, locked us in the school so
that escape to the Square could not come to anyone's mind. Baki,
a couple of other fanatics, and I got away through the window
in the washroom. but Baki and I didn't go to the Square. I don't
know why Baki Markovic went home, but I went home because
I was a convinced anarchist and there was no political option that
could interest me. The 9th of March was the revolt. I respected
that to a certain point, and I did my part by playing hooky.
In a couple of days, the headmistress sensed that truancy was
in full swing again, so she decided to implement some new meas-
ures. This time she postponed giving reprimands. First she
brought a trained psychologist, who distributed IQ tests and per-
sonality disorder tests in the class. She wanted to see who and
what she was really dealing with. The IQ tests looked like sim-
ple assignments in geometry or tasks from puZLie magazines. I
did it casually, not looking at the questions. The personality dis-
order test was much more interesting:
Question number one: Do you love your mother? No.
Question number two: What is your opinion on homosex-
uals? Kill them all.
Question number three: What is your opinion of people in
uniform? Kill them all.
Question number four: Could you be the leader of a crimi-
nal gang? You bet.
And they were all in that style. In a couple of days, a sum-
mons from the school psychologist arrived for Kosta and me. It
seemed the two of us did best at the personality disorder test.
Kosta went in first. He was there for about ten minutes, and on
his way out he just winked at me, lit a cigarette, and went to the
schoolyard.
The school psychologist was nothing like the psychology
teacher we had driven crazy. She wasn't anything like the teacher
who came after. The school psychologist was a wicked and arro-
gant martinet whose word could seal my destiny.
--
f'
The Dance ol S'mall- Tunc Demons 8/
---------
"So, you are the one: she ll1ld me. sit."
I sal. She lit a cigarette. and then she offered me one. I told
her I didn't smoke. That \\ :lS not what she expected.
"Your personality disorder test is very interesting.
I kept silent. l didn't fee! the urge to say anything.
'I heard about you and your friends. They tulk about vou
Everything is fine until someone writ.:\ this kind or k'l.
you honest on the test?"
"Yep. Why? Ts something wrong with the testl" I was act-
ing the fool.
'There is no right or wrong in the test. The test per-
sonalities as they are, and personalities cannot he right or wrong.
Your test looks as if it were done by Charles Manson or Adolf
Hitler. What do you think of themr
"Idiots," I said. She didn t expect that either.
"You know what, I know that some people fake th: tests.
That's why there are trick quc'>tions. You answer them. thinkin;:
you'd appear aggressive. but actually you turn out to he a phony
or a mamma's boy. You answered the trick qucstinns like Adolf
Hitler would answer them.''
"I'm very sorry about that."
"No, no, don't be. You shouldn't be sorry for what you are.''
"All right, then I'm not sony."
The psychologist got up and paced a little around the office.
I was looking at the schoolyard through the half-open cm1ains. I
saw Kosta sitting on a bench, smoking and spitting ahead of him.
"Are your parents together'l" She asked me all of a sudden.
"No.''
"Since when?"
"A couple of years now.
"Your headmistress told me you were a good student last
year."
"I was excellent, bm it was accidental''
82
Marko Vidojkovic
''Accidental? No one is excellent by accident, especially when
he looks like you.
"Thank you so much."
"You're welcome. And that black-haired girl? I often see the
two of you in the schoolyard. Who is she?"
''No one. Some whiner from Padinska Skela. She's all over
me.''
She knew I lying, she knew I was lying on purpose and
so obviously that she could smell it. I didn t feel like philoso-
phizing with her. I wished she would let me go. so that I could
get out in the schoolyard, sit on a bench. and spit with Kosta.
"Would you be willing to visit the Mental Health Institute?
That's here, in the neighborhood .. .''
"I know where that is. I live across the street. Why should I
go there'? I am not crazy, nght?"
'Had you been crazy. I would not have asked you to go tu
the Mental Healrh Institute. I'd commit you to the menwl hospi-
tal. Mayhe you should go to the Institute to talk to someone once
a week. They have very nice people there. and excellent ex pens."
"Okay, I'll go then."
"I'll write you a referral. They know me there. Just show this
to them and everything will be fine."
She something on a piece of paper. Then she hand-
ed it to me and walked me out of the office with a smile. I went
out and tore up her scribblings, not even looking at them. I went
to the sat beside Kosta and started spitting.
Renewed contacts with Ana brought renewed depressions. I
started drinking on regular basis. I was a real solo drinker. I
brought half a liter of grape brandy from the supermarket and
guzzled. I'd play GBH, Exploited, Pistols. The Ramones, Bad
--
The Dance Small-Time _________ _ ____ 83
Religion and cried. I was the only person in the history of human
civilization who cried at Exploited. I hardly saw friends from my
grade school. Klip. Bata. Duke saw each other. but I stav..:d
at home and sucked the bottle. Then I pulled out the first pack-
age of valium fror.1 grandmother's bag and took two with the
brandy. It overtook me much faster than I had expected: it sent
me to the floor.
Drunkenness prevailed day in and day out, and I was com-
ing to school with heavy hangovers; I could handle the booze less
and less. I vomited. I had headaches. But I kept it up. every night.
The number of tablets l took with half a liter of brandy went up
to five. I still cried. I still stood and talked with Ana at every
recess period. l still walked her to the bus after school. Anll then
l got fed up.
One evening, ! was taking my standard dose of brandy and
pills while listening to The Ramones. I cried like a girl. The
whining was not directly connected to Ana. Everything haJ to do
with Ana, but the bawling was connected more with smnething
unreachable and intangible. I cried because of the nice weather,
I cried because of the bad weather, I cried at the sound of the
buses that passed through the street and the shadows cast by
streetlights on the ceiling of my room. My tears were -;a!ty and
full of hatred. lt was a furious kid's moaning. Maybe I was for
the madhouse after all. Maybe the psychologist was wrong. I took
out a hunting dagger which laid under the bed as a precaution
and cut my left arm with it. I felt relieved. The dagger was blunt.
so I had to work it back and forth to get the blood to flow. The
more the blood gushed out, the better I felt. I did it perfidious-
ly. quietly. I avoided moles and veins, I carved in detml like I
was carving a piece of wood, and not my own hand. When I fin-
ished the chopping, l went to bed.
When l woke up in the morning, I looked at my hand. It
looked powerful. l didn't clean the scratches, clotted blood cov-
84
------ - ---

ered my whole hand, and there were red stains all over the sheets.
r arrived at school at the end of the second period l was we<tr-
ing a motor jacket. T-shirL and torn jeans The hell Rcc:;;s
-;tarted. People started to go out, the started to fill up.
l was sitting with my sleeves rolled up so that everybody L'l'tlld
see my left ann drenched in blood. People noticed that l looked
gross those cbvs, but this was too much. Some came to me to
ask what had happened, and I retoned I had played the viOlin the
previous night. They were all kind of terribly concerned, but actu-
ally they were happy since they had their own clown for daily
entertammenL who reassured them that there were even worse
fates than theirs. In those days, Ana was among the last ones to
come out, and I was convinced she did it just to piss me off. She
thought she held me in the palm of her hand. That d<Jy she also
came nut among the last ones. She saw a crowd gathered around
me and my hand, so she approached us. She cast one glance at
mv hand and fell into my arms. She was crying. l was sure they
the crocodile tears. Tears of a crocodile from some
canal. I pushed her away.
'"What is it with you?" She asked me whiie shedding her sour
tears.
''Fuck you and go to helL you whore. Don't you ever clare
come close to me again."
That was my way of handling problems with women. She
frowned and ran away, and a few people clapped their hands.
People dicln' t like her. I guess they could see something that 1
had been blind to. I felt relieved, I walked up the stairs, entered
the classroom and sat beside Toza. I was ready for class. News
from the schoolyard spread quickly, the bloody hand, Ana, the
''fuck you, whore,'' and people in the halls and in the classrooms
looked at me like 1 was some supernatural being. Compared to
them, r might have been one. I took the jacket off and put my
left arm on the table. The clotted blood had turned black, and the
The Dance of Time Demons 85
--------------
arm really looked repulsive, to everyone but me. To m<.' the hand
looked gorgeous, it reminded me of one of my rare victories. I
wished that hand could stav like that forever.
The next day, I camt' to school in flared truusch. My hcllr
was very long, because I still hadn't cut it. I lied a scarf around
my head, and [ pulled out those ancient !lared trousers from
where and put them on. I was wearing a dirty It ..vas L'nld.
and my hand was all crusted over. I still hadn t washed it. I had
All Stars on my feet. Everyone laughed when they saw me. I also
laughed at my Fadlj Vokri* thighs in the natTow f!arcd trousers.
That was my personal revolt agairht every rtippic ..vhu1c Iii thh
world. I showed them l was the biggest hippie whore of all.
At the beginning of ApnL our :1ddiction to school reached
new heights Kosta. Baki and I met m half past one, and
left the school at eight l\\'enty in the evening. We\1 'pend onl\
two or three in class nut of all that time. When we had
morning shift. we'd come right after Vie woke up, and he wuulJ
leave again when we were bored to in the schoolyard and
lets. We played hooky again, but no one held it against us The
headmistress behaved as if nothing was happening, she just
excused our absences silently It looked like they had given up,
as if they had concluderl that it was better to leave us alone to
play hooky than to have us sit in class and stir up shiL True, we
were not as inconsiderate as before. We agreed with Boza. the
school caretaker, that fmm time to time he would come to the
class and ask the teacher to release us out to help him loading
and unloading this or that. We'd go out, load one of th1s or that
and then we'd sit and loaf in the schoolyard tiil the classes ended.
It was much more comfortable to sit there in the afternoon than
in the rnormng. They said Bob the caretaker by stn1ddling
86
Marko
the toilet backwards. hugging the lid. I didn't have a problem
with that kind of shitting, I even tried it once, and I pissed all
over myself.
The meeting point at half past one was at "The Pickle: a
grocery on the corner of Lola Ribar and Palmoticeva Streets
Locals called it The Pickle. I didn t have a clue why. I'd come
there at one-twenty. sit on the window sill and watch who
walking the street. People from a distance noticed there was some
kind of a freak on the sili. so they the street in time not
to pass in front of me. I don r know whether it was an accident.
hut toikt paper and disinfectants soon appeared on the part uf the
window in front of which I used to sit.
Kosta was the most punctual. He came from Takovska Street.
He would pass hy the school. come to The Pickle. and then gu
back tn school with nw. Baki Maikovic v>ould come from
f'almuticeva Street and was only relatively punctual, and T,na
v.as never t'n time and he'd show up no sooner than in the
:.choolyard. I wore the llmed trousers, and my hair threat-
ened to become long. beyond every limit of punk decency.
As my loafing didn't have limits, and sitting at home in the
morning was killing me. l started dropping by Duke's place. Duke
lived across the street from my school, and he went to the First
Belgrade Grammar School. He had a specific system of skipping
school. He always went to the doctor and asked for an excuse.
He had missed school more than a hundred days since the begin-
ning of the year. They threatened to send him to an examination
before a panel of teachers, and he couldn't care less. He was
always on call. When I would get up around ten and felt the
treacherous spring breeze in my nostrils, I'd find salvation in put-
ting the flared trousers over my ass, the All Stars on my feet,
and the dirty torn pajamas on my back and setting off to Duke's.
We sat one afternoon at his place and watched TV. The pro-
gram suddenly stopped and a special report appeared on the
piLl .t
The Dance (J{ Small-Tune /Jemons 87
______ , _______
screen. The reporter SGemed ecstatic, he goi fidgety was
jumping in the street. of Golfs were parked aroulicl him,
and someone was lymg there and over there. Dead bodies again
War in Bosnia was about tu start.
'"Pay attention. now we are watching the war in Bosnia .start
ing. and in ten years we '11 recall tim moment and hugh at it.
How can the stuptd Bosnians make a war You'll see
this is really gonna bt: a comedy: l t,1ld Duke <:nd went to lhc
Pickle to wait for my friends.
My father came out with two llliercsting theories at our
Sunday lunch. Of course. the fir:-.t thcury had ltl do wit(, the ilt\v
political situation. Father was babbling something about this war
being ten times bloodier than the one in Croatia. i asked him how
the stupid Bosniam could n1akc 'v\ar at ail. and hl' said it woul11
be exactly like that - bt'C.tusc th,:y vne stupid. l-Ie cur:-.cd tile
govcmment, and I was hair !istcnmg td him awJ haif \v:>tchtng
the on the fast guy The ;,ecnnd theory of my 1 ad1er \\as
that it was stupid for me to ,ome to this empty ilat every Sunday
when I could come to the nat where he lived with hi>. wife. her
daughter, and their Rottweilcr. This was the !mt time he men-
tioned he had a wife. and since I didn 'r like dogs, I told him
we'd meet at nat m future as well, and he should
be free to bring the lunch because his wife cooked well. First he
examined how l looked, then he realized it wasn't worth arguing
with me such as l was. It W<b st!.Iptc! of him tu wish to present
this kind of son to anyone. We scheduled the next meeting for
the next week. same place, same people. same time
In the meantime. Red Star played the decisive game for sur
viva! in the Champions League ::tgainst Sarnpdoria*. Because of the
mess in the country. Red Star played one time i'i Bulgaria. one
88 Marko
time in Hungary. The game with Sampdoria was played at CSKA
Stadium in Sofia. I ran away from home and went to Bulgaria with
a few friends. I didn't have to explain to anyone where I was going
and when I was coming back anyway. And probably no one could
care less about my absence. Buses departed from ten different loca-
tions; ours left at SIX in the 1noming from the com1yard in front
of the Cvijeta Zuzoric pavilion. I sneaked out of the house at five
o'clock, met up with Duke and another three unknown guys and
left the country. I didn't put on flared trousers for the occasion. I
went to the game in Doc Martens, Levi's 501, and a spitfire jack-
et. I had cap on my head, and the hair the only thing that
betrayed my hippie looks at the time. I also had sidebums which
almost reached my mouth. I took only my with me. I did-
n't take money. I didn't have money. I spent it all on the bus fare
and the ticket to the east platform at the stadium. The east plat
form usually brought me luck.
Our bus was full of fanatics. The passengers were all fanaties,
the driver was a fanatic, the guide was a fanatic. Passengers
Red Star's cheering songs, and the guide was playing a Red Star
\'S. Bayern and Red Star \'S. Olympique video. Maybe ten times
during the long ride. The driver was a complete lunatic; in twen-
ty minutes he passed all the other buses carrying supporters. A
hung from his mouth. Every time I looked at him:
the same cigarette, always the same length. It was as if
he were driving at the speed of light. Time seemed to have
stopped for him and his cigarette. At customs, we were looking
at a man who pissed for five minutes near a tree, and on the way
to Sofia, we saw Bulgarians saluting us with three fingers* and
hailing us. This didn't fit with our history lessons where
Bulgarians were regarded as our traditional enemies. Or were the
enemies Finnish?
In the city of Sotia, Bulgarians tried to sell us some relics
from the age of communism. Flags. badges. busts of Lenin. The
F
The Dance of Small- Time Demons 89
Bulgarians acted like we were tourists from the West and not
Serbs who had lived through much more perilous
than theirs. After alL we still lived nnckr a nf
and they had gotten rid of tbeJrS. Fans sat in orank, and
refused to pay. Mustached waitresses ran around. begging them
to come up with some money. and they just laughed. We drank
also, we didn't want to pay either . but we didn't iaugh at the
waitresses. We only left the cafes without a word. italian fans hid
in an Orthodox church in the center of Sofia under the imasion
of Serbs. Orthodox Serbs flung rockets at the Orthodox church to
get to a few Italian heads, and the Orthodox Bulgarian police beat
the Orthodox Serbs and carried them off in paddy wagons to
Orthodox Bulgarian The Catholic Italians were safe. We
watched it all from a bench in a nearby park, drinking beer.
Thanks to a tragic outcome for Red Star, we leti the game
five or six minutes before its end. The only bright points of the
game were MihajloviC's scoring a goal and our throwing peanuts
at police officers. The Bulgarians sold peanuts in small plastic
bags. Peanuts were extremely cheap, so Duke bought about thir-
ty bags, which he distributed to us. They were small, compact,
and stuffed with peanuts. We threw peanuts at police officers who
stood in the track lane. They bounced off their helmets. and
they'd stoop and put them in their pockets. In the end, night fell.
We went through a large park, and there were Red Star fans
pissing. There were two per tree. Some pissed. some cried, and
some both urinated and cried. On the way out of Bulgaria, they
didn't stamp our passports. As far as my passport is concerned,
I am still in Bulgaria.
It was around five o'clock in the morning when we arrived
in Belgrade. As any other sunrise, this Belgrade dawn was the
utmost in repulsive. I dragged myself in front of the school.
Sorrow was in my heart. I needed school. Red Star lost. I didn't
talk to Ana. I needed school.
90
Marko
I waited for the cleaning woman to unlock the school. Again
it was the gray-haired head janitor. She looked at me, and I
looked at the wall. She unlocked. I followed her in and sat in the
In the meantime, the sun had risen and slapped me
in the face. People started commg. They passed through the yard
and looked at me. Some of them didn't look at me. Tho: synthetic
supporters scarf was still tied around my neck. f had stolen it
from the sabman of fan merchandise in front of the CSKA
Stadium. The salesman didn't even bother to stop me. The paint
from the scarf was over my neck and hands. The word star was
r:1isspcllcd. Red Shtar. The bdl rang for the I len the
school building and went home. l tied the scarf to the traffic sign
in front of the school. No parking.
I came home and lowered blinds awaited me. Salvation. 1 sat
on the bed and phoned Ana. She answered the phone. Why wasn't
the little bitch in school?
Hey," l said.
''Hey: she answered.
'Why aren't you in school?" l asked her.
"Why aren't you in school'!"
"I was at the game. In Bulgaria. Red Star against
Sampdoria."
"Yeah. And?" Ana was totally cold.
"We buckled."
"Great. I'm for Partisan anyway."
'Bitch."
I hung up. I wanted to eat my shorts for calling her in the
first place. I was a damned wussy. She was, however, a damned
little slut. I opened the drawer and found some cassettes she had
given to me as presents last fall. Some crappy hippies, some crap-
PY songs, some crappy inscriptions on the cassettes. I threw them
out of the window. I also found a piece of the notebook on which
she had written: You are silly, and I am your hippie flower. I
..,'he Dance of Snwll-Time Demons 9 I
:_1;..:_ '---- -------------------------- ------ -------
squeezed it too and threw it out of the window. I ture ller from
my memories. The fucking little whore, she didn't want to be
with me. She was for Partisan. She never gave me that C<1rrin['
she had promised me. I lay down and fell asleep.
With my hippie looks. I spat on the world around me, but it
inexorably reminded me of Ana. I decided to knock it off with
everything that reminded me of her. to demolish the school. w
set Kalemegdan Park on fire, to kill all surviving memhen: of Led
Zeppelin. They were all turds who didn't to ex I went
back to wearing Doc Martens shoes, torn T-shirts. and denims_
and decided to begin with other forms of liheratiun Ti>L<'
and I kissed each other on the cheeks every time \\C met some-
where or parted. If chicks could do it.. we could do it too To1<1
also was in the habit of coming to me while I \vas 'ittmg
on a bench in the yard and put his knees on mine. I '.vould eat
a sandwich and he would stoop on my knees with his arms spread
balancing. He'd fall over me. on the ground, on people who went
by, and I would devour the sandwich. impervious. When the
school principal once saw that scene, he told me I had definite-
ly lost it and that I was in a complete fog, and that death might
be the right way out. He offered to take me with him to the bat-
tlefield one weekend and to leave me in the woods naked. He
said the same to Toza. I said no. Death was too ridiculous for
me. Death was child's play.
Once Kosta stood in the middle of the yard with a plastic
bag on his head. He stuck it to his face totally and drew part of
it into his mouth. I came closer to him and kissed him over his
plastic bag. It is repulsive to kiss another male, even over a bag,
but the world around me was even worse, so I was resolved to
fuck with it in every possible way. People around us looked on
92 Marko Vidojkovi(
and v,ere dJ.c;gusted. Kosta and I licked the plastic bag, each one
(rom !n:. side. Out tongues touched mer the bag. Boys crossed
girls screamed. teachers laughed This happened tw0
or
1
hree times. and when people got used to it we stopped. People
get used to any kind of shit.
l stopped wearing underwear, and all my denims were torn.
/.o.; my were like of a succcr player. the wnuld
rip aruund the thighs. My balls would come out everywhere.
l wasn't ashamed of my balls. I'd sit in class, and Tnza would,
as usuaL write down what the teacher dictated. I'd pull one ball
througb the hole on the pants ::md dangle 1t back and forth. I'd
1ap Toza on the shoulder, and when he'd look at me inquiringly
I'd tell him: "Someone 's watching you," and then I pointed at
my crotch. He'd find himself face to face with my balL the left
or ught one. depending on the day of the week. He shrugged.
and went on writ mg. Kosta and Baki loved that joke, but the girls
in the class were the ones who favored me. ln the middle of the
in the middle of an examination. I'd start calling one of
the girls. "Maja, Maja. MaJa!'' I would hiss. and when Maja
turned around I'd show her my ball Maja would smile, make a
movement with her hand which explained my state of conscious-
nes'i, and then she'd tell her friend what was going on. Then the
girl sitting next to her would turn around too and !' d show her
my ball too, and she would smile and went on '>Vith school work.
l made their dismal school lives nicer, l was a traveling circus,
and I was seeing no more of Ana. She stopped coming out for
recesses. A master of the schoolyard had to be known, and he
would still be there even when everyone else had left. Everyone
would run away, and T would stand in the middle of the school-
yard, with my torn jeans, without underwear, looking at the moon
at night or the sky during the day.
I decided to lose the idiotic long hair. It was the time for
real moves, the first of which would be shaving off the grotesque
t"
Ihe Dance of Small- Time Demons 93

sideburns. After that, I went to the hairdresser's. I picked Andre;
in Kosovska Street, because I had gotten a haircut there once
when I was a kid. Andr{ was There were a few work-
ers in the parlor. and they were all Andres.
"Can I help your Andre asked me.
"A haircut,'' I told him.
First they washed my hair. This was the first wash in a cou-
ple of months. Andre had to apply shampoo on my hatr and to
rinse it out four times. He dried it carefully, trying to avoid look-
ing in my ears, and he probably threw away the towel after me.
He seated me on the chair.
"How would you like itl'' He asked.
"From the side totally shorL and leave everything on the top."
"I don't understand."
'"Take off as much as you can from the side. and on the top
leave it as it is. Don't touch anything on the top."
The unfortunate Andre took the clippers and started doing my
hair. He abused it for two hours, made some moves, but he didn't
touch anything on the top. When he finished, he looked at me,
not believing that he did the right thing.
"What do you think?" He asked me apprehensively.
The hair on the side was about half a centimeter high, and
hair on the top of my head and at the back was twenty cen-
timeters long.
"Ya know, it"s not good," J told him.
oh really?"
''Yeah, it's too long on the sides. Shave it off."
"To ... shave off ... from the side?"
"Yes, I want a Mohawk, man."
"You cannot get a Mohawk here. This is a serious parlor."
"What do you mean 1 cannot? Call Andre!'' 1 complained.
"I am Andre," he said.
"I meant the boss'"
94 .r..1arko Vidojkovi(
Tm the bosS:' Andre said.
And who's that?" I llsked pointing llt another guy m the
room who looked like the boss to me.
"None of your husinessl Get out of here! You can ~ h v e that
off by yourself, at home."
I stood up from the chair and shook off the hair.
''How much do I owe you?'' J asked him.
"You owe me nothing. Just beat it and don't tell anyone you
had a haircut here.''
I ran out happy. I saved a heap of money, and Andre did
most of the work. At home I tried to shave off parts of the hair
around the crest. I couldn't make out where to draw the line. so
I didn't use shaving cream, only water. When I finished. the skin
on my head was all red. Everything had peeled, and on the top
of my head and from the back there was a crest some five cen-
timeters wide. I looked gorgeous. When my mother saw the hair.
she didn't really react. She just walked into her room and turned
on the TV. That discouraged me a little, but when I went out
into the street, an old woman started to cry when she saw me. I
went to Klip 's. and his mother didn't want to let me in. I stood
in the street, and some three cocksuckers threatened me, giving
me the finger from the public bus and pounding with their fists
against the window. It worked out. The whole world hated me, I
sent them all to hell. My new haircut said "Fuck off,'' to all
grandmothers and grandfathers, to all fathers and mothers, to all
cops and soldiers, to all teachers and students. to all damned hip-
pie whores and their boyfriends in silken shirts.
The next morning, in school, there wasn't one positive com-
ment about my looks. People were horrified, even my friends
Kosta, Baki, and Toza said I looked like a monster, that I had
gone too far this time, and that they would avoid being seen with
me in the street from that day on. In the year 1992, maybe only
five people in Serbia had such a haircut. In the year 1992, maybe
fl
95
only five people in the whole Serbia had any brain\. and that
number would drop in years to come. I was just thinking that my
new haircut had hit the t:1rgct. and that there could ahso!utelv he
no one on the planet who could like iL when 'omconc approached
me from the hack and covered my eyes with her lnnds. Small
soft hands. I turned round. There was D1jana Jankovtc olanding
in front of me. Twa's ex. Dijana bnkovi( The \amp girl of the
Law and Administration SchooL Dijana Jankm ic.
"Your hair is fantastic You are really somethmg speciaL"' she
told me.
Dijana Jankovic stood in her while hippic tunic <tltd p r i ~ c d
my looks. The gtrl had mental problems. I stood and looked at
her frowningly. Her tits wanted to jump out to see me better.
They wanted to burst under those laces and heads. My halls must
have gone out of the torn Jeans, and I felt the enid spnng breeze
whipping around them. Dijana Jankovic fucked up my whoic cun-
ception.
"Ynu are really something spectai," DI]ana Jankcmc repeat-
ed.
I didn"t smcil the bad breath. Toza lied. Stiil, l could picture
her giving someone a hand-job. That someone was not me. Dijana
Jankovic had beautiful blue eyes, reel curly hair. tits that wanted
to come out, and ass that was better than all asses that hac! come
my way up to then. Dijana Jankovic hac! a little wide face and a
slight weight problem. she was too clean, she wasn't my type. I
passed by without a word and went to the classroom. On that
day, some of the teachers didn't want to let me into class.
A couple of days later, Klip celebrated his birthday. His
birthday was traditionally n1arked by a great feast. It was late in
the afternoon when the gathering Started. J \VaS the last One there.
96 Marko Vidojkovi{
------------------ ---
I didn't bring a present with me, and there was a package of va-
liums in my pocket in case I get the chance to get stoned. At
Klip's. Duke, Bata and some other guys that I didn't know were
there. There was a guy that they called Hitler. the local lunatic.
who I remembered from my childhood. He pulled out cats' tails,
he burned the chemistry teacher's hair, after which he had to
switch schools. He was no better now. The lunatic look and
lunatic smile spoke for themselves. Klip's parents were not home.
There were only sandwiches for the snack, but there were eighty
thousand of them, richly decorated. I got on to work. I sat and
ate, wondering whether Klip's father had a secret place for his
alcohol. My friends stayed by the window, throwing marbles and
sandwiches at cats, during which time I searched the flat. I found
an unmarked bottle full of yellowish liquid in one cupboard. It
looked like alcohol, it smelled like alcohol, actually like some
kind of domestic brandy. I gulped seven or eight valiums with
sandwiches and the brandy. I expected to be dead drunk soon,
but nothing happened. I took one more long sip and put the bot-
tle back in the cupboard. Klip's father would probably accuse his
son of drinking in secret. My friends got back to the room. Bata
noticed right away that my eyes shined.
'This guy took something again. Look how pale he is," he
told the others.
"It's the sandwiches. I've had too many," I defended myself.
Others were looking at each other. No one drank but me. I
felt like shit and wanted to stay sober, to fool them this time. By
some miracle, I remained sober. I guess because of all the sand-
wiches which soaked all the poisons in my entrails. Then Hitler
took the phone and suggested that we should molest the Croats,
Bosnians, and other now-unfriendly people to us. I agreed, but
the others were silent. The area codes were still 041, 071 and the
like. Although they seceded, they couldn't run away from our
area codes. At least not yet. Price of the conversation was interur-
-
--
The Dance 5'mali-Time Demons 97
ban, not international, so Klip gave the green light for action. I
dialed a number in Zagreb at random.
"Hello," a female voice said.
"Ustasha,"* I told her.
"Thank you," she said and hung up.
1 should have changed tactics and gone on the offcns1 ve
immediately. I dialed another number, again in Zagreb.
ter."
"Hello," a younger male voice said.
"You Croatian fag, you stinking turd
1
'' I told him.
"Who's there.>" He asked. He wasn't so bright.
'You Croatian piece of shit. i fucked your mother and sis-
He hung up. I might have exaggerated a hit. Friends looked
at me without a word.
someone else wants to I asked and went for a sand-
WICh.
When I got back, Hitler was talking to someone. l looked at
everyone else. who gave me the sign to keep silent by putting a
finger to their lips.
''Yes. yes, it shouldn't have happened ... We should have spiit
up in peace ... yes, yes, ma'am, you're right. .. '' Hitler said. Damn
it, what kind of Hitler was he?
When he finished. I asked him who was he talking to, and
he said it was an old lady from Ljubljana. They talked nicely, no
one cursed the other one. What was interesting about it'!
"Give it to me
1
'' l said and grabbed the phone. I dialed a
number in Sarajevo. There you could get both ours and theirs.
"Hello,'' an older voice said.
"Hello, Serbs here. Where's your wife'l"
"Uh. fuck you, you Serb piece of shit".
I hung up. The one was obviously one of them. I dialed
another number. Sarajevo again.
''Hello,'' an another older voice said.
98
Marko Vidnikovic
"Hello. Croats here. Where's your wife')''
'Fuck you. I'll strangle you with my bare hand:;, you
Croatian scum, ..
I hung up. This one was ours. I had a goou laugh, emu then
I dialed a number in Skopje.
''Yes'
1
" a girl replied.
'Hello, I'm calling from Belgrade ... "
"fuck uff." she saiu anu hung up. Since w l ~ l l diu tlie) hate
us too'
1
I finished with evoking the brotherhood anu unity.* and
Hitler kept making calls. He talked to people. Although he was
a Hitler, people listened to him, talked to him. complained that
everything had to end in war and remembered the good old days
Everybody sent me to hell. Both ours and theirs. even the
Maceuonians. Hitler was supposed to become minister of foreign
affairs of our country. anu l was to remain where I was and what
I was. A little piece of shit with too much neg<!tive energy.
After the phone, we watched horror movies that Klip had
rented from a video club. No one knew why he did it because
all of us knew he couldn't stand horror movies. By the time the
movie began, he started talking, went to the wilet every five min-
utes. kept complaining that he was hungry and thirsty. When the
horrible scenes appeared, he'd put his hands over his eyes.
The movie was about a dumb lunatic who cackled, hung
around with hens . and cut innocent girls' heads somewhere in
American Midwest. A stupid movie. When I got home I put the
valiums in the drawer and lay on the bed. For a while I was look-
ing at the ceiling, and in one of the next moments I fell asleep.
A few days later, my phone rang, and Dule, a.k.a. "Dee
Dee". was on the other end. Since I met him in the SCC garden
the previous summer I hadn't heard a word about him.
The Dance of Small-Time Denwns _ _ 99
-- -----
"I hear you went totally mad." he told me.
"From whom')"
"Everyone. You're \t'fY striking with the new haircut Thn
took bets on when you would be beaten to death_
Dee Dee wasn't the first from whom I heard tha1. Everybody
had some idiotic theory that someone would beat me up because
of my haircut. Everyone wa-; afraid of my haircut. they didn't
dare touch me. l was repulsive and people went round me in wide
circles. I had no idea who could be the one to beat me up. but
people around me kept talking about it. "Someone will beat you
up, you lunatic, they'ii cripple you. Look at yourselt, they would
tell me. ''I'll kill anyone who touches me. My skin is lethal." I
would answer. In those days. I exchanged two compact discs for
one gun. A Beretta 92F. The gun used to be real once.
killing people: now you might he able to kill a mckroach by hit
ting it with the handle. The bane! was sealed. and the magazine
kept falling out. I had to hold the bottom uf the magazine wit!1
my little finger so tt d1d not fall out onto the sidewalk. Why the
fuck I needed that piece of shit I didn't know. hut at the time
many moves I made could not he explained by common sense. I
canied that metal piece of shit. stuck to belt and jeans that were
always falling down. I was completely harmless.
"I am armed, bro. Don't you worry," l told Dee Dee.
I asked him how he was doing and realized he was doing
almost the same as me. Dee Dee drank. smoked. and caused shit.
I drank alcohol, swallowed medicines, and caused shit.
"Let's meet," I suggested.
"Okay, but not like '>''ith Jelica."
"What?"
''Okay, hut not like with Jelica, I said."
"What happened with Jelica?"
It turned out that Jelic:a spread the rumor that one evening
barged into her flat and found her in a bathrobe. Then I alleged-
100 Marko Vidojkovic'
ly attacked her, and she could hardly defend herself. After that
ran toward the trolleybus stop
"What did she sayJ'"
"You tried to rape her, man,'' Dee Dee told me.'"] can under-
stand you, she's got great tits."
"That\ not true I What a slut
1
How can she hullshit around
!Ike that'l' It wasn't like that at all
1
"
"Listen. bro. I don't care what was it like. To me, it\ great
that you tried to rape her. Don r ruin the image I've madt.: about
you."
How could someone who didn't know where to stick it rape
someone'
7
True. Jelica had enough reasons to he mad at me,
because of my wussy behavior that night in her tlat, hut the
revenge was rather nasty.
"Who knows about this')" I asked.
"The whole school is alive with rumors about it. You've
become our hero. Okay, not of all of us. Actu<dly, when I give
it a thought. most of them were disgusted. hut. you ve become
my hero. and that's enough."
"Listen, Dee Dee. I'll tell you what re:1lly happened."
I told him everything in detail. Dee Dee went quiet.
"I believe yuu, but you're not my hero any more. You've
turned out a fucking wimp. That's why this should better remain
between the two of us. In any case, everything will settle down
111 a year.
Dee Dee was right. There was no point defending or justify-
ing myself. I would turn out even worse than what they already
thought about me. One more or one less thing about me. what
did it mattcl'
1
I was a drug addict, drunk, turd. slimcball, and nO\\
I was a sex-maniac too. Okay. I agreed with Dee Dec to meet
near the City Construction Bureau.
-
The Dance of Small- Time IJ::!!_wns ________________ ! 0 I
The City Construction Bureau was just across from my build-
ing. Bata and 1 could sit on ~ x steps of the Bureau. for hours
when we were in seventh or eighth grade. dnnkmg JUice. eatmg
"honey hearts" and discussing chicks. I was sitting with Dee Dee
on the steps that night. We drank grape brandy. swallowed pills.
and discussed chicks. Dee Dee hadn't changed much since I saw
him last time. I could swear he wore the same kather jacket ill'
wore that night in the garden of the SCC. It was only his hair
that was different. It was totally slicked back. A ton of brilliantine
on it. He didn't have hair like Dee Dee any more. but he was still
Dee Dee. There were a few surprising similarities in my and his
life. Apart from the fact we were both good-for-nothings. alcohol
prone, and inclined to causing shit, both of us had our own Ana.
His Ana's name was Iris. They went to the same school. they were
best friends, and Dee Dee talked about her tits nonstop.
"Those tits, man, those tits. wow, I'd bite them so wdl.
man," he'd say and hit his fist against the steps.
Iris was a hippie. like Ana. Iris was a fucking slut. like Ana.
Iris was from Borca, and Ana from Padinjak. They probably knew
each other. Bad people always knew each other. Dee Dee and I
knew each other. I beard a story from Dee Dee that I myself was
experiencing during the last months. Iris was acting like a friend,
pretending she didn't notice his gaping at her tits. Ana and Iris
were modeled after the same blue-prints. They were modeled to
make fools of us. I told him I bad said to Ana to go to hell a
couple of times, and that now we were in a phase of ignoring
each other. I sincerely recommended him to do the same with his
hippie slut.
"That's the cure, Dee Dee. To keep them at a distance. When
you are there, you drink because of depression, when you are at
a distance, you drink for fun and everything looks much nicer."
I didn't believe my own words too much, as Ana was often
lhere hanging around in my drunken evenings and my drunken
102
Marko Vidojkovic'
-------
mornings. That bothered me, but I had convinced myself that
there was no reason to feel anything special for her. I said to
myself that her pu';sy was the ~ r n e as any other, and that -;ome
one else would come along sooner or later. But Ana had one
indisputable quality. She was bad. and it seemed l needed the
bad. I didn't say that to Dee Dee. He needed the bad too.
We were sitting on the steps and drinking. I had my valium.
and he had his tranquilizers. A few hours later we were lying on
the steps unconscious. When I woke up, Dee Dee was still lying
on the steps. I vomited near one tree and went home. The next
day we phoned each other and concluded that hanging around on
the steps was excellent. We agreed to do it again. It was already
the next evening that we sat on the same steps. drank and talked
about Ana and Iris. We spat on them more and more, we called
them names. We called at girls who were passing the street. We
called them names we called Ana and Iris.
"Slut'" Dee Dee shouted.
"Cunt!" I shouted.
witch
1
'' Dee Dee shouted.
'Little pussy'" I shouted.
Girls went by with their noses up pretending they didn't hear
anything. We were not that wrong to shout those things at them.
*
One of the next evenings. Dee Dee and I hung around the
neighborhood. We weren't drunk. We were looking for a good
place to get drunk. We passed by a building. and then Dee Dee
told me that Ljuba Batrovic lived there.
"Who the hell is that?" I asked.
''You're crazy. man, he went to the same class with us m
grade school."
"Really'l I don't remember that name. Are you sure'
7
"
L
The Dance of Small- Time L?emons
103
"I am positive. Ljuba Batrovic. A total moron. He had a shit-
ty breath from his mouth, he had skull fracture when he fell from
the basket in the schoolyard. Don't you remcmber'r
"No."
"You went totally crazy, man," Dee Dee told me.
"Could be."
"Let's go to Ljuba's. We'll get dead drunk there."
"Let's go."
We entered the building and Dec Dee knocked on one door.
didn't know how he knew things like where Ljuba Batrovic
lived, someone I could not even remember. A woman opened the
door and we could notice she quivered when she saw us. We bent
closer to her.
"Good afternoon, IS Ljuba there?" Dee Dee said.
"Hmm ... who's asking?" The woman asked trying to
avoid looking at me.
"Old friends from grade school," Dee Dee said.
"Just a moment."
She closed the door and went inside. I asked him who she
was, and he said that was Ljuba's mother. The door opened and
there was an unfamiliar guy there, approximately our age. When
he saw us, a smile appeared on his face.
"I can't believe it. What are you doing here?'' He seemed to
know us.
Dee Dee told him we were just passing by, so we decided
to come over. He let us in. He was still totally unknown to me.
Could it be possible that he was in our class for eight years? We
passed by a drowsy old woman. The lights in the kitchen were
on, and Ljuba's mother was sitting at the table. She shivered
when we passed by. Ljuba showed us into his room. The room
was small, like mine. There was a sofa there, which could prob-
ably be made into the bed Ljuba slept on. There was a table in
front of the sofa, and a computer on the table. Amiga. The com-
104 Marko V[(/ojkovic
puter was connected to the TV set. Dee Dee and I sat on the
sofa. and Ljuba sat on the floor. He and Dee Dee chatted for a
while. and I u ~ t \at there grinning. Time for me ob\ iously began
in high schooL I could only remember Bata, Klip. Duke. Dee
Dec, The Ramones. and fuckjng Jelica from grade schooL Ljuba
Batrovil' was a creature from some other, parallel world. He also
vvent to >ome secondary school and kept mumbling abnut hi'
adventures there. I was getting tired of listening to him.
''Games," I said pointing at Amiga.
"Oh. yeah. I have a couple of games You wanna play one,, ..
Ljuba said. He was addressing me like an imbecile. incapable of
understanding anything.
"Games," I said again.
Ljuba stood from the floor and turned the cornpuwr and the
TV on.
you wanna play pinball or some shooting'?" He asked me.
"Pinball."
He turned on the pinball. l started playing. I sucked. I had
the ret1exes of a beaten cat. The bail kept running away and I
finished the first game in less than a minute.
"It's all right. You just need to get used to it. It will get bet-
ter," Ljuba said. He still addressed me as if I was a feeblemind-
ed kid.
"Pinball," l said.
When the atmosphere became a little more relaxed. l took out
a bottle of grape brandy from out of my jacket. Dee Dee started
rubbing his bands, and Ljuba became still, but he didn't react. I
opened the bottle and drank a little. I passed it to Dee Dee, and
when he drank he passed the bottle to Ljuba. Ljuba told him smil-
ingly that he didn't drink alcohol. We went on knocking it back
and l took out the valiums at one point. l played pinball, and the
package was on the keyboard, When the last ball went down. I took
out ten pills from the package and swallowed them with the brandy.
L_
-r'he Dance of Small-Time Demons 105
_:l:::.- '-------------------------------------
"What's thar?" Ljuba asked.
"Medicine. I am quite sick." I told him.
"What's wrong with you')" He was persistent
"Cancer."
"Cancer?"
'Cancer. I have to take ten pills every three hours or !'II die.
You don't want me to die in your house. Ljuba. huh')"
'No, no. no ;vay. And the alcohol, is it allowed"l"
"Everything is allowed when you've got one month to live.
Ljuba."
Ljuba shook. He looked at me with a sad look. I was drink-
ing. playing pinball. and dying in front of his eyes. Dee Dee cov-
ered his face with hands because he couldn't keep from laugh-
ing, and then he took out his tranquilizers. He took ten of them
with the brandy. Ljuba panicked. He was looking one moment at
Dee Dee one moment at me.
''What, you too ... ?" He asked Dee Dee, who confirmed by
nodding. He told him that we had met at a clinic one day. and
since then we had become inseparable. People put bets on who
would be the first one to kick the bucket. Ljuba fell into total
depression and sat on the floor. He cast his eyes more and more
often toward the window, into the darkness. Dee Dee took out a
cigarette and lit it. I also took one. Ordinarily I didn't smoke, but
when I drank if you brought me a piece of shit on a plate to eat,
I'd eat it. This time I wasn't eating a pit:ce of shit. I was smok-
ing a cigarette. Half an hour later, I sucked at pinball as much
as when I started playing it. I got drunk in the meantime, and
swallowed the pills, so it wasn't because of bad reflexes. It was
also because of the keyboard that kept running down my fingers.
it was the cigarette, whose smoke bothered my eyes, and the ash
that was falling into my lap and on Ljuba's carpet. Ljuba's moth-
er was probably listening all the time to what the guests were
doing, and when she heard the noise of the bottle that fell over
106 Marko Vidojkovic
------------------
on the table, she tlew into the room. She sta11ed searching the
wardrobe, secretly looking at what we were doing.
"Let's go." Dee Dee said all of a sudden.
He didn't have to say it twice. I stood and tried to find my
way out tottering. Ljuba stood on his threshold. He didn't know
what to say. We said nothing. We just turned round and went.
After some ten meters we started singing.
*
At the first traffic light I collapsed and couldn't stand up any
more. Dec Dee was standing over me, laughing. l crossed the
street, crawling. Then I saw Dee Dee arguing with a doll in a
window. The doll wearing only ladies' underwear, and its
haircut was male.
"What do you want from Get out of here!'' He was
yelling.
"Th<tt's a doll, my friend. You are talking to a doll," I told
him.
He looked at me, then he looked at the doll again. He spat
on it, but the only hit the window. We hugged each other
and set off to the Construction Bureau. On the way we met a
tough gang from grade school. They were all lowlifes, a year or
two older than us. They all wore sweat-suits and sneakers, with
short haircuts. New fashion was breaking its way into Serbia.
They crossed our way. There were five or six of them, and Dee
Dee and I were alone, dead drunk, holding each other not to col-
lapse on the ground. One of them approached us. Dokovic. He
was the worst of them all, he switched three grade schools and
there was a big question whether he came close to finishing any
of them. He was a spoiled rich kid. He said something to us, and
Dee Dee and I laughed. He asked me something pointing to my
head, and I laughed. My ears were buzzing. He was probably ask-
The Dance of Small-Time Demons 107
-
ing me about my hairstyle. No one of them dared to come clos-
er than two meters to us. Dokovic got furious. He moved left-
right, and D<?e Dee and l laughed at him. He pounded i ~ right
hand with his left fist and rumbled like a locomotive. One of his
gang came up to him and said: "We'd better not touch them, who
knows what kind of diseases they have.'' That was the only lhing
I could discern from the whole touching encounter. FL'ar of di..,
ease won out. They let us pass and we went to the bureau. We
lay down on the steps. At one moment, who knows when that
night, a kid came over to us. He leaned over.
"Hey. there are forty of us here. Dokovic ordered us to beat
you up. He said you'd be here. Please get out of here, and we'll
tell him we couldn't find you."
The kid was a Dokovic disciple. but obviously a nice kid.
Either that, or he didn't dare to touch us either because of nur
unknown infection. I turned on my side and fell asleep. The ne\t
thing that came to my brain was Dee Dee dragging me acn's'
the street, half-conscious, toward my building.
"What now'7" I asked him drowsy.
"What do you mean what now? Some forty kids want to beat
us up."
"Yeah, I know about that."
"'You know?"
"I know."
I came to my senses a bit and managed to stand on my feet.
We got to my building. We were looking around. There was no
Dokovic or any kids -- only some wicked chicks who passed near
us. You could not run away from chicks. We came in my
entrance, got in the elevator, and pissed in it. After that, I felt
like throwing up. I went over to the mailboxes and started to
burp. I vomited on the whole of the first row of boxes. Those
were the boxes of people from the ground, first, and half the sec-
ond floors. They'd have something to read in the morning. l went
108 Marko \lidofkmi(
out of the: building Dec Dee was vomiting near a window of the
adjacent building. The window was almost on the same level With
the sidewalk. I knew that flat. It w ~ the basement apartment
inhabited wtth somt:' Gypsies. The light WJS out, and the monster
vomited 011 the window sill. I guess the windows cl!c.tn 't close
right. I felt son-y for the Gypsies.
\ftcr \i,iting my building. we went to the bw, stop. We sat
lln the steps in front of the t o o l ~ shop and waited lor our heads
to clear up. A woman came up to me.
"Young man, are ynu well"''
l was lookmg at her, and a smvel ran down my hcan1 and
threatened to hit the sidewalk.
y Ollllf man. are you welL>" The woman rr;pcatcd. 'You look
terrible."
"Thank yuu." l .-;aid through my clenched teeth, and the sni-
vel burst. One pan remained on the beard, and the other part fell
on the gmu nd.
Then the bus callle anJ the 1\oman got on. She must'w had
<1 daughter my age and was afraid about her. She was afraid that
her daughter would meet me.
*
I was getting worn out by getting drunk with Dee Dee every
clay. I was coming to school later and later in the morning, and
on several occasions I didn't go at alL Fortunately, the new tacit
policy of excusing all absences was in force, so none of the
teachers gave me a hard time. I guess it was easier for them not
to see me in class. I used to sit in the yard, yellow in the face,
not in the mood for adventure. My balls fell out of my jeans, that
was true, not as a joke but because I didn't have the strength to
pull them back all the time.
One day I arrived at school before the second class ended. I
sat in the yard. When it was the time for recess, people started
The Dance of Small- Time Demons /09
coming out of tht' building. Baki Markovic was among the first.
He came to me with a serious expression on his face.
"Watch out. Baldy. there are rumors that some babe's got
hots for you." he told me.
''It's nice there's someone in the mood for fucking with me
so early in the morning," I retorted.
''No. no. Baldy. I swear, that's what they're saying. One (lf
these younger ones. I'll ask about it and let you know."
He went somewhere. What horseshit, chick having the
hots for me. I was never too attractive to them. and now I tried
to he even attractive. Petlple are prone lu exaggeratiuu. Theu
Little Ivana came to me. Little Ivana w:1s one year younger than
us, a real little chatter. She knew everything about everybody. She
knew everything about me, though it wasn't such a gre:.lt feat.
since everybody knew everything about me: I wasn't trying to
hide anything.
''Hey. I've got to tell you something," she tnld me in confi-
dence. almost in whtsper.
"Yeah?''
"There's one girl in my class. you know. she likes you a lot."
"That's the second one this morning. or maybe she's the
same one?" I said with an idiotic smile.
"Don't make fun of me, the situation is serious: Little Ivana
got angry.
"Of course it is serious when she's fallen in love with me.
She must have a screw loose, or she's got a instead of leg
or a nail instead of tit."
"You are horrible.''
"That's what they all tell me.''
Little Ivana sat by my side. l didn't make room for her, so
she sat on the very edge of the bench.
"The girl's gone completely crazy about you. She cries every
day."
!10 1VIarko Vidojkmi('
cries') Why the fuck does cry?"
"I don't know. but she sits in the classroom all the time. cry-
mg and talking about you. She is obsessed
"What does she look likeT
"Oh, nice. Really nice. A nice girl. l think you knt)W her.
You know cvcrvnne in school."
"You're wrung. I hardly know anyone. L:t me sec her." !
said.
'She's not in the yard at the moment. She wouldn't dare
come out just in case <;he should run into you ..
'So, how she think to do 11' dare
to face me?"
s afraid of you."
"This is the first thing I heard since this morning that makes
some l am afraid of her too. What's her namer
"I can't lcli vou. You'll ahust: her."
"! won't."
"'lou wdl."
'J won't. l never abused anyone. I'm the abused one. She'll
abuse me too. Tell me her name or get out of my bench!"
"Una.''
"Una)"
"Una."
"Sounds mme like a geography term than a good chick."
''You're bullshitting. She's really sweet.''
'Okay then. Take her outside during the next Tell her
l am not in the yard. and I'll be watching you from the washroom.
Stand near the kiosk, because that's the place l can see best."
''I don't know really ... "
"Don't bullshit me, why are you makmg a monster of one
drunken moron without underwear!?"
"Okay. we'll be there, if I can manage to get her out of the
classroom
..-.11
ij,

..
:1
1 .
Th
D
ance of Small-Time Demons ' Ill
--
Little Ivana went away. Una ... Una ... I started racking my
n Apart from the fact I remembered the Una was a river in
braJ. b d l'k 'II
Bosnia. I remem ere a c uc wit 1 arge t1ts one year younger
than us. She had the attitude, she was raven-haired, approximate-
} my height. ideal built. ideal face. We were trying to find out
:er name for weeks since she rarely showed up in the school-
rd
Eventually. we learned her name was Una. Or Jovana. Or
ya .
Milica. If this was the Una, I had found my place in the sun. I'd
shoW her right aw::ty that I didn't eat up girls.
The next recess was between the fourth and the fifth class. I
went to the washroom un the first fluor anJ k:aneJ ull wIll-
dow. The chick appeared soon. The ideal one. My legs would not
move as I watched her swaying toward the kiosk. She didn't look
like someone who would cry for me every day. She didn't look
like someone who'd even shed a tear fur me. even If the 25 bus
ran over me in her presence. Still. she went to the kiosk. There
was no sign of Little Ivana. I confused. The chick stood by
the kiosk, bought a crepe and went back into rhe buildmg. Was
she Una?
No. A few moments later Little Ivana up in the yard.
There was a fucked-up flower in white jumper walking after her.
With hands crossed on her bust, walking the short steps toward
the kiosk. She looked like someone who cried all morning. And
the morning before. And every morning. She haJ wispy red hair
to her shoulders. She looked like an Indian girl, with that red h:.:ir
of hers and that white jumper and the eyes ali in tears. My views
on Indian women were obviously distorted. They by the
kiosk. Una was on display. The whole sight upset me, so I soon
left the window. Little Ivana looked at me times, trying
to get my impression. But it was twenty-five meters away, and
hard to read. Una was doubtlessly sweet. but she looked some-
how pathetic, fucked-up. The girl who lets herself get so fuckcd-
up because of me is destined for disaster in he1 life.
11
m
112
Marko' Vidojk(m
-----
The next class was Latin. I didn't attend one single class ,
Latin this year. The Latin teacher was young. long-legged. will
a southern accent. She put the southern accent on Latin word
too. She looked like someone made to he molested by underagL
lowlifes. Baki Markovic didn't show up in class this time eithe1
and he was the only one who had never attended a class of Latin.
The teacher entered the classroom. No one stood up. Total disre-
spect. She had to he a complete loser not to be properiy respect-
ed by this shitty class. She saw me immediately. She didn't note
the class in the register, and she found herself near my and
Toza's desk. We sat in the very last row.
"Who ... what are you?" She asked me apprehensively.
'"I am a student. a member of this class group. lolly Belt:'
'"l beg your pardon?"
'"Class group Jolly Bell."
That was the name of my class group in my grade school. I
was talking crap. The Latin teacher became agitated. She asked
me my name. and 1 told her. She checkt'd in the register and saw
! \\as then.:_ She even found two As near my name in the term
and one B at the end of the last term. I would ask one of the
girls in the class to do check-up tests in Latin for me. The cows
did it and got an A. I would have been satisfied with a D.
"Let's test you now," she told me all of a sudden.
"Okay," I said.
She sent me to the blackboard. and the class was ready f\}r
the show. I wasn't ready for the show. because the unfortunate
Una came to my mind for a second, which totally fucked up my
concentration. The teacher asked me some declinations, some
crap. and I kept silent looking in the floor. She triumphantly sent
me to my seat and gave me an F. She said that this would affect
my final mark in the end of the year. She should have seen the
other marks I had.
I
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kovic
-----..
The Dance of Small- Time /)cnwns
-- .. -------------
fl3
of *
With
'Ords The next weekend a gt1y named fioran wa:c. gi\il;t' ;1 hirthduy
rage party. Goran went to the cla;.s '''lth Bata, in the Tenth
ither Belgrade Grammar School. He was oncc a football player. but
Jtin. about a year a;;o some f)f his l!luscles bur:,t. >O he was slowly
sre- turning into a barrel of lard. I invited. The gang from Bata's
class knew me well and listened w the of my o.pb)its
ote every day as retold by my friend. Notwithstanding that, I was
tnd invited. The party was in Block JO. I met Bata at the bus stor.
and we set off to Goran s place.
The party was non-alcoholic and the guests compl::lined. l
didn't complain. I played my game, either drunk or We
down in Goran's room. There were Bata. me, a guy called Doka,
and a younger couple. The couple kept frenching, lid.ing, grop-
i.ng. and Bata. Doka and I watched. The guy had long hair. and
L! the girl short. Were they gonna fuck in front of us so that we
should learn something? They just frenched frenziedly. Everyone
else was in the living room.
At eleven o'clock Bata, Doka and I went nut to the terrace.
We spat from there onto the lawn in front of the building. We
wished some cats would come by and be live targets, but there
was no sign of cats. I guess they were screwing in the bush near-
by. The party was a disaster. I had a package of valiums, but it
didn't mean much with no a! cohn!. I already thought about going
to town and finding Dee Dee somewhere. I would do it proper-
ly with him. But I accidentally started rummaging the cabinets in
the terrace. Empty jars, full jars, clothespins, plastic bags, and
Czar Lazar and Cz.arina Milica: two bottles of red wine, full to
the top. Uncorked. I opened my eyes wide, and Bata and Doka
tried to tell me that it was the wme that belonged to Goran 's par-
ents, that Goran would be angry if 1 opened it, that the wine was
not for drinking ...
-
/J4
Marko idojkovi<'
'What the fuck is n for 1f it"s not for drinking"
1
"' l and
gn!. hold nf f LGir.
Th,:n: no c'Ork.-:cr.'W. :!ild ! didn't '!fl tn llw ki:.hen
to get one because the guys who complained about the lack of
.1kohol were there. They'd drink il all. I tapped the hr.ttle against
the edge of the terrace. and it There were some fiw cen-
timncr:; of hunk neck buttk 1\inc \\as sttil inside hrst
! some wine on the lawn to get the pieces of glas:; out.
so that l would not get cut. Then I poimed the bottle tovvard my
mouth. not touching the sharp glass with my lips. The wine
m:-;hcd down my throat. Bata and Doka were looking at me. They
r!idn 't drink. After two-three gulps. l put the bottle on the rloor
and swallowed some ten valiurns. Then I stuck valiums into my
p(1ckct and pointed the bottle to my mouth again. The amoum of
wine that poured out of the bottle was too much for my mouth
and a lnt nf wine was spilled clown my T-shirt, down my Jeans.
onto the t1oor of Goran 's terrace. C::.ar was wiped out in
less than ten minutes. I defeated the greatest Serbian historic fig-
ure all by myself. And then I got down on his wife. I opened
the bottle in the same way. I got hold of one empty jar and
poured the wine from the bottle in it. :My brain seemed to start
working only after it was conquered by Czar Lazar and a pla-
toon of valiums. I walked out, holding the jar, and ran to the
washroom. The warm air inside stmck me. and suddenly. all I
could see was black. I couldn't open my eyes. I found things in
the dark by groping. The washroom wasn't empty, but I was too
destroyed to think about that. There was a female person in the
washroom.
"What's in the jar?" She asked me.
"Juice. This is a non-alcoholic party," I said and got into the
bathtub. I didn't spill the wine from the jar.
The female person stood up from the toilet bowl and put on
her panties. Why didn't she lock the door'l Why was I the one
'
!
!
.I
...&.!
____
ho had to look at her cunt'
1
Drunk I wa<>. I couldn't make
w . . .
out anything and the cunt went back to 1ts seat, without muc!l
noise. The female per>on wnh Ilk' m the bathtub and
the jar. She started drinking. She drank up almost all of the wine
in several gulps. I didn't complain as I exceeded my Jaily dose
by far. We were sitting in the bathtuh face to face. l -;4uinted my
eyes, but there was no w'? for me to find out \\. h,u she ll ,J!i._ed
like, not in my condJt1on. J '>tund up from the hathluh anJ
ed to pay a visit to the rest of the flat. The female stayed in th!.'
bathtub.
I found myself in the living room. a drunken :ua11
in the flat. all of a sudden. Everything stopped. Everyone was
looking at me, and I triumphantly spread my arms. l<)ttenni! in
circles. I came across :i telephone. l picked up the ren:;:cr :;nd
dialed Ana's telephone numher. Somebody ans\v,:red l-: wn- Hk'
was silent and waiting lor lo say
"WHORE, WHORE. WHORE". I st<trtcd tP -;crc:tm
When I tried to hear agam what was going on the other ,jd,
of the line, there was no connection. The g-uests were iooKing at
me significantly.
"A slut." I told them. "Just an ordinary slut No rea:;on for
panic."
No one asked me what made me drunk. r went to the hall-
way and tripped over something. That something the female
creature from the bathroom. She was lying in the middle of the
hallway like a piece of log. She took it down the hatch, and that
can be very nasty. After that people can cause a lot l)f shit. I was
so experienced in amateur drunkenness that I could write a book
on it. I sneaked up by her side and leaned totally against her
body. Some fine body. I grabbed her breast, but she removed my
hand. The feeling was fascinating, so I grabbed her breast again.
A large breast. She moved my hand again
"Not here," she said.

JJ6 Marku VidojtJJ\'ic'
She :-tood up and i2ave me her hand so that I could stand up
som.:huw. l took h-:r hand. and she dragged me. She was strong
as a hmsc. I w ~ on my feet She w ~ still holding !11) ham!, ll)
ing to drag me outside the tht. We were soon on some staircase.
in 3 corridor. She sat a few steps above me. put down her draw-
ers <md widened up her legs.
"Get to work!" She ordered.
What the fuck kind of work' I was asking myself. What do
you do with a cunt when you come across it for the first time in
re;ll life (\fl a staircase. with no lights. dead drunk') I stuck out
my finger and tned to touch her groin. It didn't work. Then she
took my head and stuck it into her cunt. It was dry. soft and
hairy. and it smelled like powder. [ put my head against it and
almost fell asleep. After that. I guess she saw that I wasn t real-
ly the best solution for her. the female gave me two slaps so that
I could put myself in order a bit. and ordered me to walk her
home. That w ~ all that I could remember
The next thing l saw wt>re Bata and Doka running down the
lane that led from Go n ~ building to the bus stop. Tht>y ran
back and forth and screamed. I sat on a bench. three or four
meter<; from them. They looked like they were drunk. but the only
drunken creature 111 the vicimty could be me. Bat a approached
me.
''You woke up, eh?''
"I guess," I said, looking at him bluntly.
"A tiring night for you. Maybe you should go home."
''Maybe. Where's home?"'
"Over there." he pointed to a New Belgrade thicket. "Just go
that way, and you will arrive eventually. Hear from you tomor-
row, I hope you'll forget what was happening to you tonight.
Otherwise. it might be traumatic for you.''
These words were not encouraging. I set off towards the
thicket, went though it, picked myself on a thorn and soon found
-
The Dance of Sma/1-Ttme Demons
117
myself in Lenin Boulevard. There was the federal government
building, and the federal government building wasn't my home.
My home was kilometers away. I ~ t o o by the road and raised
my thumb. As always, luck was on the side of bad drunks and
underage wussies. I could fall into both categories. A white Yugo
stopped after less than a minute of hitchhiking. There was a guy
with specs sitting in it. 40 or 50 years old. I wasn't feeling well.
but I was drunk and stoned and thoughts were everywhere around
my head, but not in it. I took a deep breath and decided to look
totally sober. I approached the Yugo and opened the passenger
door.
"Where to?" The driver asked me.
"The Republic Square would be like a fairytale," I told him,
swaying my hips to and fro. I held onto the roof of the car with
my hands.
"How does Palilula marketplace sound?"' The driver asked
me.
"Palilula marketplace would be a fairytale with a good end-
ing,'' I muttered.
"Get in."
I managed somehow to get in so that it didn't look too drunk.
The guy had a few vanilla flavor air-fresheners in the car, which
made me feel like throwing up. I closed my eyes and tried not
to breathe too much. The car kept spinning in circles. I opened
my eyes and the car was speeding ahead. When I closed my eyes
again, the car was again spinning in circles, but I didn't open my
eyes any more. Near Palilula marketplace, the driver tapped me
on the shoulder and told me to leave the vehicle. I got out of the
car without a word, and he put on gas furiously and left toward
Tasmajdan. Tasmajdan once used to be a nice park.
The phone woke me up the next morning. It found me com-
pletely dressed on the floor of my room. I let it ring twenty or
so times.
1/8
Hello. I salt!.
'Hey. Romeo. Bata sent word.
"Yeah. \Vhat"s up>"
!'vlarko Vidojkmtc'
''Red Beard k e e p ~ Glliing me all morning and asking for your
phone number. What should I doJ"
"Red Beard>"
"Yep. Olga. Red Beard. Remember'?"
"No."
"The chick you were fooling around with last nir.rhl on the
..;taircasc
oh my God ..
"Should ! g1ve her your phoneY
"Not on your life' Call me in a couple of Jays. when I wakt
up.''
I hung up.
In a cuuple of days. some things cleared up. Ar the party I
drank wine with this Olga called Red Beard hy all the gms
When l asked them to g1ve me a more detailed descnption of her.
they laughed. Red Beard obviously had a beard. and was proba-
bly very ugly even if she hadn't had one. People saw what was
happening on the staircase, and word spread around that someone
took pictures of the scene when I was trying to fall asleep on
Olga s crotch. I never ~ w those pictures. Then there was a part
that l could not remember at all. There were a few versions.
According to the first one, Olga raped me on the staircase. which
\Vas not very likely. but on the other hand, it meant I wasn't a
virgin any more. According to the second version. Olga took me
to her tlat where we did who knows what. after which she kicked
me out in the street. And the third version said that Olga took
me in an unknown direction, it wasn't known what we were
doing, after which Bata and Doka found me on the bench in the
adjoining park. That one was the most probable option.
Considering the fact I was so drunk, I could hardly participate in
1
The Dance qf' Small-Time Demons 1 19
anything actively, so Red Beard didn't get lucky. I checked up
how the inventory in my pants behaved. The inventory was in the
pants, and not in the drawcrs. as of cnur>e -- l didn 'r wear draw
ers. Everything was there, and behaved in a most normal way.
All those fairytales of marathon orgies with Red Beard were not
true. I was not ready to do anything more than to fall asleep on
her pussy. Over the next few clays. Olga tried to get my phone
number, but Bata was persistent in refusing to give it to her.
Everything settled after that and the whole thmg was slowly for-
gotten. Later, some classmates of Red Beard oftered to show me
some photos of her so that I could get a better idea of what I
was dealing with on that disastrous night, but I declined. It was
a lovely Belgrade spring - it shouldn't have been spoiled by
scenes forbidden for minors.
Over the next weeks I continued going out to the steps of
the Construction Bureau. My partner was Dee Dee, and we were
armed with medicine and brandy. We were sitting. drinking and
marking the territory by pissing on it from time to time. Once
there were a lot of wandering dogs here, because the Bureau was
situated near the long neglected Botanical Garden. However, a
couple of unknown two-legged dogs came and imposed their
dominion over the steps and the surroundings. The real dogs now
had to pee somewhere else.
One evening, another couple of two-legged creatures came by
and started to piss on the wall of the Botanical Garden. Dee Dee
and I stood up from the steps to see who was pissing in our pool
of mud. Nele and Kuki. Nele and Kuki from our year in grade
school, eighth year, group 4. Dee Dee, some others, and I were
in group 3. Kuki and Nele were great guys, w i t ~ u t a fault, but
they pissed where we shit. pissed, vomited and sometimes took a
120
Marko Vidojkrm(
bath in it. Dee Dee and I were in a coma, as usual. We had our
Beretta. The Beretta sat on one of the steps above us and watch-
ing what was going on. It was ready. Dee Dee look it and head
ed toward Kuki and Nele. He stood behind them with the gun,
waiting for them to finish pissing. When they put their t h i n g i ~
back into their drawers, Dee Dee pointed the busted Beretta at
them. He was holding the gun with hoth hands. He was pulling
the trigger with his right hand and holding the magazine with his
left so It didn't fall out. Kuki and Nele turned around. Kuki and
Nele started running. They didn't hesitate one moment. they didn't
try to figure out who we were and what we wanted from them;
they started sprinting, each of them in his own direction - run-
ning zigzag. I guess because they were trying to avoid getting hit
by a bullet. I was standing behind Dee Dee and let them pass.
We dropped hack onto the steps and laughed. Kuki and Nele were
great.
The next evening, for a change, Dee Dee and were Sittmg
on top of a wall in Palmoticeva Street. Palmoriceva Street is in
the vicinity of the Construction Bureau. Palmoticeva Street is
where the Mental Health Institute was. Palmoticeva Street is the
street where Kuki lived. We hadn't even taken one sip of grape
brandy, not even one tablet, when Nele and Kuki came by. We
couldn't let the opportunity slip. I got hold of the Beretta and set
off in their direction. Dee Dee and I were in total darkness. There
was a gun sticking out of the dark. Kuki and Nele again ran in
a frenzy. They ran into Kuki's entrance. The entrance had the
intercom, so we could not break into it. I think Nele and Kuki
didn't recognize us this time either. We stood in front of their
entrance and shouted. They ran up the stairs to Kuki' s apartment.
Why were we doing these kinds of things to them? I guess it was
fun, what do I know. Dee Dee and I then got to our steps near
the Construction Bureau. We could see Kuki's terrace from the
steps. We could see the three or four heads poking out occa-
r
121
sionally and trying to see what was going on whether
the maniacs with the gun were still there. From time to time. Dee
Dee and I turned to them and waved the Beretta. and they would
stoop down among the flowerpots on the terrace. Kuki, Nele.
Kuki's younger brother and Kuki's mother. It was 1992, and no
one even thought of calling the police. We iaid siege to the whole
building, all alone, turned hack, on the steps. threatening
with busted gun now and then. were amaLing times. We
got drunk and decided to go home.
*
The next day I went to school. It was Monday, and we had
classes in the morning. Dee Dee went to school in the opposite
shift and it was Llifficult to m::ttch my times with his. Somewhere
during the fifth class I took twelve valiums and a hottle of heer.
It was daylight. and I was sitting in the schoolyard irt a very had
way. I stood up and moved around in circles. There was a class
in one of the three basement classrooms. The windows of the
basement classrooms were at the height of my balls which spilled
out of my jeans. I was wearing combat boots. a pajamas top. and
a motor jacket. There was a crest on my head. I stood in front
of one window and watched. I saw Little Ivana and a girl all in
tears just by her side. Una. They were sitting in the last row.
Shit, she really cried. She was sobbing, and Little Ivana tried to
console her. sending me angry looks from time to time. As if I
was to blame for something. I started dancing. I was dancing with
my hands spread, running in circles like an airplane crashing
down. l was dancing. and the breeze was blowing around my
balls. I was drunk, but there was a smile on my face. My halls
jumped up and down and some of the students could see them
clearly. Someone opened the window of the basement classroom.
An older woman, unfamiliar to me. She called me by my name.
,
122
Marko 'v'idojkm'/(
---
I came closer and stooped down holding onto my knees_ Una,
whole class was lookmg at me, and T winked at them from tnne
to time.
''Enough with the dancing. Why aren't you in class'
1
" The
older woman asked me.
"I was just about to go to class. And who are
"What do you mean who I am? I am your geography teacher
Go to class'''
''I'm on my way," I said and waved to the students. Few of
them waved back, but the majority didn't make a move.
I came inside the building and ran mto the first washroom :n
hand. There were Baki. Kosta. and a third guy there I didn't
know the third guy. but he was obviously skipping clas' too_
"Hey. what are you doing here? I thought I was the oniy
sheep outside the Jlock," I said. No one appreciated my poetic
expres,ion. Kosta was laughing at my hails, and Bakr rcbukL'cl
me.
"Baldy. look at yourself. You're like a shitty bum. You're
going down. Wash yourself sometimes," he told me.
''Young man, l wash myself more often than you think. and
I am no bum. l live with my mother in a comfortable two-room
apartment downtown. Burns would kill for an apartment like
mine. I'm like this only on Mondays."
.. .Baki waved with his hand, pissed off. Another attempt to lead
me back to the straight and narrow had failed. The three of them
had some fifty packs of matches. They spat at the wall, and then
they stuck match ends into the spit, mix it with the plaster,
strike it. Then they'd throw it at the ceiling. The end of the match
would stick to the ceiling and the match would burn, leaving a
black spot. You could this in all Belgrade entryways, in all
Belgrade elevators, and even in some Belgrade apartments,
Duke's for instance. There were already some twenty black marks
on the ceiling, and the guys who did it should have been paid
The Dance of Small-Time Demons
123
-
'bute for their achievement. I sat down among the bloody sam-
pads thrown beside the garbage can and looked at my friends
spitting at the wall and throwing matches at the ceiling. lt wa'
boring. I was looking at the pads trying to guess which one was
whose. Little Ivana, first year, group 2. Jasna Dekic. second year,
group 12. Ana BogojeviC, second year. group 10. Maybe. Or
maybe not. At one point. the third guy threw the match on the
neon light. The match lit the plastic and the plastic started to
bum.
"It'll stop," I said.
"What if it doesn't stop?" Baki said.
"Then we'll have to change washrooms," I said.
The plastic burned on, more and more. The ceiling around it
got really black. I went out of the washroom and into the hall-
way. Kosta followed. I turned back and saw Baki and the third
guy trying to put out the spreading fire. The installations in the
room with toilet squats were burning, and they ran into the mom
with the sinks, took some water in their hands, ran back into toi-
let and threw the water at the ceiling. They didn't have the stom-
ach to see the school burn down. The gray-haired janitor came
across me and Kosta.
"Where are you going?" She shouted.
"None of your fuckin' business," Kosta told her.
"Where are you going, I said? And what's that smoke over
there?" The cleaning woman was clenching her teeth, and her
voice deepened.
"Oh that? Some scumbags set the school on fire, so my
friends are trying to put it down," I said.
The cleaning woman rushed into the washroom, and when
she saw what was happening there, she started running and shout-
ing.
"Help! The school's on fire'" I figured it was best if I went
home.
124 Mar/.,.(; \ idojkotlt
I was wJ!king clown Palmoticeva Street. and the Beretta
hangtng from my belt. Someone was calling alter me :\ iema!e
voice. I turned hack. There was an unknown younger female per
"On. ntcc enough luokin)::, walking -,orne twenty meters hchind
me. She \Vas drag!,!ing a plastic ba_E with a fc\v hooks an,! l\\<1
or three notebooks.
''Did you try to set the school on tire
1
She asked
breathless.
"Cud fmhid. 1 dunl do these things .. \m:ltcuy, d" thc'lll
"They barely managed to put out the fin: in the washroom
Everyone says you set it.''
"That\ ridiculuus. Where would I spend 111\ days !hcn
1
\11d
who are you anyway')''
[ CtH:Id tell hy the face she made she 11 :ts nft.:nded J ,, ;"
supposed ll know who <;he was. She mtr.lduced hcrc:eli 'o :n:
"i\1aja. nilc to !11CL.t you: \\as nn;: \pungcl
She went to some c!a ... s and allegedly hHng in the 'Choolyard and
was a truant ! didn't know her.
'Tm sorry. l can't remember you: I said.
"E\eryone knows you,'' said.
'I am easy to remember. I look disgusting."
"What do you need that gun for')'' She asked all of a sudden.
"Tt's totally harmless. I use it as a weight so that l don't tly
off somewhere."
''Like an anchorT'
"No, a weight An anchor w<uld keep inc from sailin_l! aw:i)
sailed away a long time ago."
"You speak like a poet," She said.
'Til never be one of those suckers." I said.
Maja lived in a street below mine. 1 walked her to the cor-
ner. :.md then I went to the supermarket to buy myself half a liter
of brandy from the mustached \end or.
-
"Hello, neighbor. The usual?" He asked.
"Sure."
''Hey. when are the twn ()f u ~ gonn:1 get drunk''"
"Whenever you want:
"Let's do it now."
"Let's."
The grocer locked the store. We -;at in rhe utility room .md
started to drink. Even before the first alcohol had lett me. the
next round was on its way. I took another two or three valiums
and offered the grocer to take some. He didn't want any. We
were drinking. and he was telling me somethmg about his son.
He was my age. went to schooL was an excellent student.
"Your son must be a brilliant young man." I told him.
"Yeah. Not a scumbag like you."
"I was an excellent student !<Jst year I plan to keep up like
that."
We drank a little more. and then I left. The mustached ven-
dor stayed in the store. My supply of valium was nearing the end.
I was left with only five or six packages. A ten-day supply at the
most.
Several masked men waited for me in front of the store.
Devils. Demons. They were jumping around me, wielding chains
and bats. They were dressed all in black. I had no other option
but to bluff my way out. Everything was spinning around me. I
took out the gun and waved with it at the phantoms. They ran
away into Drinciceva Street. I wasn't feeling well. I went home.
The window blinds in my room were down. I took off my pants
and started to piss in the comer of my room. When the stream start-
ed, it cleared in my head a bit. I stopped the pissing, which was
very painful. I went to the toilet and tried to continue. It didn't go.
I was totally lost. I left the flat, got in the elevator, took it to the
ground floor, and went out into the street. There I met Kuki, Nele
and another three or four guys. All dressed in black.
126 Marko VidojkmiL'
"\Veren 't you swinging some chains in front of that store .iu'>t
now
1
" I asked them.
wen . We were" Kuki said.
"Why'
1
If I may ask?"
''You waved the gun at us."
"When'!''
"Yesterday. and a day before yesterday ...
"I don't remember that."
"You took out the gun in front of the store just now.
"And what was I supposed to do \vhen I saw the five masked
madmen twirling bats and chains at me'l''
"Well, okay, that's true.''
I was losing my way on the ground. I was weaving, back
and forth, left and right. Kuki and the others shrugged and went
away. They were trying to protect themselves from a broken gun.
I sat on the >teps in front of the Con,;truction Bureau. Alone. The
weather was warm. still daylight, and my head cleared a little
more.
*
Dee Dee and I went to Krsmanac on Friday. I told him how
Kuki 's guys got organized to defend themselves from the two of
us, and he told me that it rerainded him of the Serbs who got
organized to defend themselves from the Nazi Ustashas in 1941
Croatia. Historians disagreed on whether those were partisan* or
Chemik* units. It was all the same to me, a> l was obviously a
Nazi.
The Krsmanovic Brothers choir was in Balkanska Street.
Duke sang in the choir. No one knew how an ex-punk could turn
into a tenor. Their premises were on the second t1oor, and some-
one figured out it would be good to open a small club on the
first tloor. The club soon became very popular among punks, hip-
F
The Dance of Small-Time Demons
127
pies and metalheads of Belgrade. The last specimens of those
three categories started going out there. They were pursued by the
invasion of the sweat suits .. sport shoes, and sweaters tucked into
denims. There was a fat man standing at the entrance, and the
club itself was made up of two rooms. There was a bar in the
first room. From the room with the bar, you would enter the
club's main room. A small room with the DJ at the bottom. The
main room had nothing you could sit on. It was laid out exclu--
sively for dancing. I didn't dance, so I sat on the floor.
We got to Krsmanac on that Friday at eleven at night. We
were completely drunk. I hadn't touched any alcohol for a cou-
ple of days, and l had been saving the valillms so they would
last a little longer. I had no idea how to get new medicine. StilL
we got stoned on Friday. We went to the main room right away
and sat on the floor in front of DJ's room. It was dark and we
needed a little time to get used to it. Thae were at least thirty
people in the room. I guess that\ how many hippies. metalheads,
and punks were left in town_
Ana and Iris were sitting on the floor too. on the other side
of the room. Side by side. Their hairdos were identical. Bobs. it
would have been a shattering sight had Dee Dee and I not been
dead drunk. Dead drunk, you'd accept everything with equal
indifference, you'd accept the demons with bats, you'd accept
someone shitting in your mouth, you'd accept Ana and Iris in
Krsmanac. So, Ana and Iris knew each other, as I had feared.
But Dee Dee and I knew each other too, and we were a team
which was at least on equal footing with them. I pointed at our
two darlings. He looked at them cold-bloodedly. I stood up and
headed over to them. Ana ran out<>ide_ Iris stayed put, so Dee
Dee and I outnumbered her. I sat with my legs crossed. My balls
were in the center of my crossed legs, and they were sticking out
from my torn denims. Iris saw them. The music in Krsmanac was
not too loud. You could hear The Ramones, followed by Iron
128 Marko Vidojk1 n 11
Maiden. Bob Dylan. A cocktail that was sure to give yuh .1
headache. But not the crowd at Krsmanac. I stood up and gave
mv hand to !ric; She accepted. I had doubts ;1hou1 wh;ch hand ''
give her. I had been picking my nose with the right Oile. and Iris
had seen that. and I had picked my ass with the left nne only ten
minutes before. lm hadn't seen that. I gave her my kft. We we:
dancing. It was the dance of small-time \Ve danced 111:
one meter apart from each other. Each of us was thrashmg awa\
in all directions, and I fell dovm a couple of times and rose up
only with great difficulty. Did Iris know who I wa<' When tile
song ended. the miserable dance of ours vanished wtth it 1 point-
ed my finger at Dec Dee, and Iris. all exhilarated. ran over to
embrace him. The two of them were on gm1d terms. not in a fight
like Ana and l. They sat and talked. I was trying to picture what
drunken Dee Dee could have to say. I sat on the part of the flolll'
where Ana had been sitting five minutes before. There was oniy
the cold under mv ass.
At one point we left. but the next morning l couldn't remem-
ber what point. I couldn't remember how I had gotten home or
where a bloody Ana came from w my left arm. Someone
inscribed her name on my arm. Or was it me? It looked power-
fuL but that name made me feel like shitting. Whenever I looked
at my arm, I fartcd, and I usually ended up in the toilet. Certain
names have strong influence upon certain organisms. In a couple
of days, l tore off all the crusts and there was only a pale sha-
dow that remained of her name.
Those days I was under a great pressure concerning Una. Not
one living creature missed the chance to advise me to take her.
Everyone had the theory that it was high time for me to settle
down. According to them, it was either Una or my near death.
...
The Dance of Smal! Time [)('mons
----------
Everyone had a chicK. Baki \1arkoviL;'s was a Tatjana with
tits, and Kosta's a blond named Sanja. Sanja and Tatjana were 111
the same group with Dijana Jankovi,:. First \'Car. !CHlllfl r. Th:
group was a hothouse. Una went to group 2. Una :-.till refused ;,,
CJO out to the She heard -;omewherc that l had i<)liJKI
e
out about her feelint'-" toward me and she tried tu cut her vetns
with a piece of brnlcn window in classroom 1 I rhal t'lUk \IH]i('
balls, which was actually the only thing l liked ahr:ul he1 l'h<c'
girl was cute, but it just wasn't the right thing. She had neither
tits nor an ass nor much of a character as ! could \Ce fron: the
distance. Once in the schoolyard Lillie Ivana canw to me
"Hey, you' Arc you gonna do somdhing With Una or not''
The girl's gone crazy." she told me.
'"What can I do') Everyone of us goes ,ra;y sometime."
answered.
'Pig."
I didn't like that.
"Are you out of your mindJ How can I he a pig if I don't
like someone who's got the for me)"
''Listen, you're no model yourself. You cant be too picJ..y,'
she was persistent.
''I don't want to have anything to do with her.'' I was per-
sistent.
"No, you won't, you'll wait for that slut to make a fool of
you till the end of your life.''
She was speaking about Ana. After that sentence. something
flashed in the area of my left testicle.
"Little Ivana, has it ever occurred to you that that's what I
actually deserve'l''
She gave up and left. Next, the girl who I walked home the
other day approached me.
"You are a piece of shit. The girl is in tears because of you,"
she told me.
130
"'Fuel-- off."
"What'' ..
Marko Vidojkovi(
"I said fuck off. Who are you anyway? I don't even know
you. Who taught you to come up strangers and bullshJt
She frowned.
"My name is Maja. I am in the same class with Una. We
went home together the other day. You and me. Remember'' ..
"No.'' I lied. "Beat it."
The finale was when Baki Markovic approached me. He had
a new sweat suit on.
"Hey bro. I saw your chick. hot. Why die yuu fucking
around'' \Vhy don t you go for
"Why do vou have to piss me off too'
1
You. of all the oth-
who are bullshitting me about her. should know me best. You.
o! all people. should knmv that girl's not right for me. ldtot , ..
"But. Baldy ..
"No buts
1
Leave me ,done. It's better for me and fur her if
,tre nut tog<:rher. better tor her to slash her wrists than 10
be w1th me."'
"WiJatever. Baldy."
"How's your Tanja'l"
"(ire:.Jl. She gave me a hand-job in the park the other day. It
was awesome.
Everyone was obsessed with hand-jobs. That was best that a
sixteen-year-old could do with a girl in 1992. As for me, it was
better to sit at home and do the joh myself, than lo buy some
,;Jm drinks so she would do it to you in a park.
Even Dijana Jankovic approached me. She asked me about
Una. She was more tactful than others.
"Whar are you going to do with berT She asked.
"Nothing. I'll leave her she i!>."
"You don't like her?"
"Not really.''
131 of Demon.,
------
"If you don't like her, then you should not be with her."
'You're a smart girl," I told her.
On Sunday, May 24th, I went to my father's. That old witch
came across me at the entrance.
"This is a bad business: I know everything .. " She started
grumbling.
"Go to hell. ugly old cow
"That girl is wonderful. that girl IS ...
1 pushed the old scarecrow away and started climbing the
stairs. I didn't drink anything for a couple of days and that was
probably why I was hallucinating. But. I had seen that woman
several times before I started drinking intensively. She
knew what was going on. If I hadn't been sitting in hell for S<1
long, I would have thought that I was about to enter it.
"Who's that old woman. for God's sake?" I asked my father.
"Which old woman?"
"The old woman! The old woman at the ..:ntrance tu your
building. She is hanging around there, accusing me all the time.
The black old monster''
"I don't know anyone who would fit that description. s
one old man, on the first floor, a sergeant major, retired, but...
'Dad, don't fuck with me. You've lived here for ages, and
you don't know who's roaming around your entrance? Give me
something to eat.''
Father took out the food. After the Sunday meal, I'd always
fart like a cannon. Father asked me why I was so nervous, and
I told him I had been nervous for the previous sixteen years hut
he hadn't noticed it.
"It has grown in from the side." he told me thinking of the
part of the head around the crest.
"Yes. I need to shave it."
"You want me to help? Last time you ripped off the skin
from your head.''
/32 Marko
"What'? How can you help me?''
"Well, I can it for you after lunch.''
Father offered to help me with rny haircut. the haircut that
the whole town thought was a monstrous creation of a sick minor.
He either went crazy, or was tortured by pangs of
or he had become a punk.
"Dad. what have you been listening to lately.>"
"Simon and Garfunkel. as usual. Why?"
"Doesn't matter. Get the ramr."
Father shaved my head and evened out the symmetry of m)
The hair now really looked professional. A real :\1ohawl.
A real A real Cherokee. Zagor Te Nay';' would be pruud
of me. I Jidn r meet any old women on my way out.
They scheduled the class picture for the 25th of May. By
accident, I appeared in school just before the very shooting of the
picture. at the beginning of the third penod. Since it was the ex-
Youth Day,* I brought a copy of Tito and Us with me. I planned
to shit on it at one poinr. The cbs' \\as arranging itself in the
yard. When she saw me. the headmistress was disappointed.
"You really had to come today to ruin our picture, you
freak!"
I laughed and stood by her side. I gave the book to Kosta.
"I don't want to be beside this monster. Go to the other side
of the picture!" The headmistress was yelling at me.
1 won't. You can go if you don't like me. And for your
infonnation, chicks are crazy about me."
"Freak," the headmistress said and stood one meter away.
The flashgun flashed twice and two moments were immor-
talized. I spent both moments fucked-up. Then everyone left for
class except Baki. Kosta, and me. We sat in the yard. and Baki
started with his old refrain.
'Baldy. I think you should get...''
"Go to hell! Fine, I'll get her. I'll get her today. Everyone
will be happier!"
The Dance o( Small-1/me Demons
---- ------------------- ------- -------------
"Oh ... Okay if that's huw it's gonna be."
I was seething. Sumething in my head suddenly had snapped
and I made the decision to get that damned Una. l took the book
from Kosta and went to take a shit on Tito. l dlL\SC one photo
graph on the ship and sealed it. I left the book in the school toi-
let, beside the sinb. l had first closed it. that someone
might take it to leaf through.
During the day I asked how many L na group had
Six. I had seven. The seventh class was with the headmistress
and I could not miss it. l decided to fllld Una in front of the
school when she would be heading for home and Ju ihe Jub theu.
I skipped the si\th class. Geography. When it u1ded. I went
in front of the school and m; heart wa<> beatino! like mad. Tln:n1p.
thump, thump. l was filling mv pant'. l 1\a<., filling my
because of a Una. What a damned wussy l was Ht'f class \\ere
leaving the building. Little [van a came out ton and SL'nt me a
smile. I didn't return it. Una came out with three or fnur tricnd'i.
One of them was the girl I walked home the nther day_ She gave
me a look full of hatred. while the others were looking at Una
compassionately. Their looks reminded me of the looks hy the
girls from Ana's last fall. Una noticed me. hut she quick-
ened her pace and lowered her head.
"Una'" I shouted.
She stood dumbfounded. l came over to her and her
aside. There was a construction site fuJI of garbage just beside
the school. l dragged Una there and sat on a barrel full of empty
cans, milk boxes and greasy papers that were used for wrapping
muffins. Someone ate the muffins and then shit the muffins and
the paper they were wrapped in outlived them :md was under my
ass, in a large. blue. metal barTel. Una moved to me.

134 A1arko \lidojkovi(
''Listen Una .....
I was to say something. but my voice cracked. My thought:--
cracked. I grabbed her to me and kissed her. It was a short. nerv
ous kiss. I remembered Toza's clenched jaws while he was kis'-
ing Dijana. I opened my jaws as little as l needed to. Una
closed her eyes and moved her tongue like :1 She was lli
a panic. f pushed her away. She was looking at me with tho.;e
large eyes full of confidence. full of hope. full of fear. God
knows what she expected.
'"Listen. Una. I gotta go to class. J"d love to skip. hut it's
with my headmistress. I have to be there. Understandr
She nodded her head. Could this girl speak
1
Give me your phone. I'll call you. I'll sec you. I dunno:
told her.
l wok out the pen reli!l I used to write down something from
tnne to time. more often on a wall or the de,k than in the nuit:
book. l gave :1er the little thing. pulled up my sleeve and showed
her the place where >he t:ould write her telcphor,e number. The
whole forearm was on her disposal and she wrote her number
over the faded letters of Ana's name. I laughed.
"See you ... I said.
""Bye," she said. She came closer and kissed me on the
mouth. Then she leapt away in the direction of Takovska Street.
l went back to class.
The next day Una and I sat together during recess. I picked
one bench in the very corner of the yard. People were up com-
ing and congratulating us.
"Wow, you're so cute.'' one would say.
You're the cutest couple in school," the others said.
"'I am so happv for you two." the nexi one would say.
'
J
1
Small- Time Demons
135
1
was enslaved, finished, emptied. I needed booze, I
valium. They were all happy, and I was all fucked-up. Una
:;s sitting and glowing. Then I saw Ana at nne of the school
windows. I guess the news had reached that slut too. I was sure
she was looking at us, and then our eyes met. I leered at her.
After that Ana disappeared from the window.
When the recess period was over, I decided to tell Una hov.
things were. I asked her to miss so that we could talk.
but she refused.
"I won't."
"Come on, Una, what the fuck is wrong with you.;
"I won't! I don't want to be a truant."
"How many unexcused do you haver I asked.
"None, but that's not the point ... "
"Do you know how many I have.>"
"No."
'Officially twenty-four, unofficially about two million. l
one more official unexcused to get kicked out of school. And Y>lU
are now giving me this crap about truancy:
"All right, I'll stay here with you."
We were sitting in the same place. l went to some girls and
asked money for crepes. They refused to give it to me. One of
them even dared to say "why don't you ask your girl to pay for
your crepe?" After that I spat in her mouth, and l threatened the
other one with the same punishment if she didn't wanna give me
the money at once. She gave me more than I needed. I bought
two crepes. Una was waiting for me on the bench.
"Did you spit in that girl's f'lce just now?" She asked.
"No, I spat in her mouth. She was insulting you:
"Really, what did she say?"
"She said she felt sorry for you, she thinks you're out of your
mind for hanging around with a monster like me."
Una giggling. l didn't know why.
I 'r:.
' '")
Marko Vidojkmic'
"Really. 1vhat du you see in me'' l ty S' ha1d ltl make
util,.r peciplc ;,ee me as something they would never 1\ ant to be.
What is your problem!"
l Jnn 't know_ l Jon 't know ho11 these gu. You sun-
ply iall 111 love. dlld you don't kno11 why. I Simply love
you
She 11ugged me With her left :1rm while eatmg her .:rcpe I
was getting Ana came tlJ Ill) mmd. ThL damned
wlwrc. Una wa;, totally IUinenhlc. and l was her Ana. ! was
Una's damned whore. But. at lra't l:na got a chance.
l_;na. yuu kuuw thi' can end a11y !llUIJlei!L' ..
"i do," ,he said.
"You know l am not !ike other people!''
"! do. You're something special."
"Don't give in to me. Una. l :1m a pig. 1 c:annnt keep pnml-
iseo. 1 l<l!limt c\llllWl 111\ em-.tiun-.. l hJ'.l' nu rc,peLt fu1
nut Jllll, not myself"
She was silent.
"TOI!IUITOW i feel like breaking up with you. That's
what I wanted to tell you.''
"Fine. It's better if it lasts for one day than if it had never
... Una smd.
[f vou say so, l just don't know wh3t more." l said.
Una h:td typing practice for the next three da1 s. The typing
practice wa' in some company across town, and. luckily for me.
Una \\asn't corning tn school. I wasn't sure how ! could bear
another recess with her.
We went out on Thursday. We went to Kalemegdan, and
Baki 's story about the hand-job came to my mind. Una and I
were on a bench and started kissing. From time to time.
The Dance of Small-Time Demow 137
she ran her fingers through my crest, whispering: "What a harr
cut. what a haircut." Another fan of my image. After that she
took a long look at me and -;aid, you are r e l l ~ sonething c:pe
cia!." I had heard that somewhere already.
'Una, I am not''
"You are, you are."
"No, l am dog shit, and I look. like dog shit, and you're out
of your mind for thinking I am something special.'
''You are special dog shit."
''Fuck off, Una.''
We were sitting across from the Clock Tower and cooing iike
pigeons. If only Una knew what a turd and wussy I was. I was
trying to explain it to her, but the more you spat at yourself, the
more people liked you. I groped her breast a couple of times, but
I gave it up soon. I felt like Baki Markovic. Una didn't miml the
groping. Some dogs soon came by. They were the masters of that
part of Kalemegdan, so Una and I were forced to withdraw. We
got on a trolleybus, she went home to Zvezdara, I got off in
Takovska Street and set home on foot. I hadn't been drinking for
almost ten days. I was deprived of my poison and everything in
my head seemed a lot more straightforward, normal, and peace-
ful. I strolled the streets of Belgrade, and I wasn't tottering, or
stumbling, or taking dolls in the windows for living creatures.
Una was killing the punk in me. The only solution was to kill
Una.
On Saturday, we agreed that she would come to my place.
We met at the bus stop. For the occasion, I put on some wide
pants and tucked a sweater into them. I had sneakers on my feet.
As always, I wanted to make the rest of the world pissed.
The only trace of my soul was my Iroquois haircut. Una got
scared a bit when she saw me. She asked what this meant, and
I said that this was my real face. I told her I dressed like a punk
in school, and that privately I wore a sweater tucked into my de-
138 Marko
nims ur sweat suit She shrugged her shoulders and touk rne by
my upper ann. l thought I fucking with the whole system.
but ;telldiy J was 11S favorite vict1m.
Una and l were' sitting in my room. ll was daylight outside.
and mv rtlClll1 wa<: dark because the hlmds were clown.
'What music :.hould 1 play'?" I asked Una.
"Whatever you vvant ... she said.
"Don't bul!shit me. Una. What kind of music do vou !Jker
whatever you like."
I lih' the music 1hat many pl:'ople don't like. includ
ing you probably ... I said.
'Til S<lrvivc." she said.
It seemed she left her character at home on that Saturdav. l
decided to teach her a lesson. so I played Suicidal Tendencies.
She couldn't like lhat. and I really enjoyed it. I turned it up full
blast. She squirmed a worm. and 1 shook my head. I asked
her how liked it.
"It\ really tough: she said. all trembling.
l silenced the music.
"And now," I said. "Let me hear what's your choice'!"
"You have Janice Joplin'l"
''Yes."
Some shitty hippie again. I'd never get rid of them. I played
her some Joplin, and she marveled my collection. There were
aroumi four hundred records and two hundred cassettes. Over half
of them were not punk.
''1 thought you listened to punk only." she said.
"l listen to punk only. but 1 collect everything Ill case one
day I change my taste.''
you're so silly." More giggling.
Silly. yes.
I let her smoke a cigarette and then I jumped her. She was
n't defending. She shook her head a bit left to right, saying she
/3l)
had cigarette breath. but I didn't smell ::my breath. She lay over
me. She had no bra. She only had a sleeveless shi11. l lifted her
shirt and turned her on her hack. tina didn r show !r;tll"h cnl'l
tion. She was lying and waiting for what I was going to do next.
The next thing 1 did was unbutton the belt on her panh
"Don't." she said. Not yet.''
So there was the limit. It was good there Wa.\ at lc:1st
limit. I lay by her side and lightly scratched her -,boulders. l pllt
one hand in her denims, and the belt was so ttght tlwt it stopped
my blood tlow. Una laughed.
"The belt bothers you'J"
"Yep."
"WelL unbutton it then.
I got permission to the limit. I pulled my lnnd f:ow
her pants and looked at the ceiling. Senne shadov.s v.crc danctng
011
it. Una vvas lying by my side. She probably kit stupid J :1eed-
ed to think of an excuse as soon a,. possible. and bn:ak u; ur l
couldn't stand Jll this.
''Una. I've just remembned' r have to go urgcndy :it a
friend's' You know, his mother died yc>terday. He asked me to
come and help him with the funeral."
"Oh, why didn't you say before?"
"I don't know. Get dressed. We've got to go."
Una got dressed. l got dressed. We went out. We walked
down 29th November Street. When we got to Dee Dee's build-
ing, I spoke to her.
''Listen, do you know how to get to the trolleybus stop'-"'
"No," she said.
"You see this intersection? That's Cvijiceva Street. J'rn going
into this big building here, and you go left and then just head
straight. There's J trolleybus stop after the second trJffic I ight. l s
that clear?"
"Yes.''
140
Marko Vidojkovi(
---------------------------
"Repeat it for me.''
"You go into this building here, and I go left. then straight.
I come across a trolleybw: stop after the second traffic light
"You're a bright girl."
I gave her a kiss in the forehead and entered Dee Dee s
building. I rang the bell. His mother opened.
"Good afternoon, is Dee Dee. er. .. Dule there')"
'Yes, son. Come in.''
I came in. Dee Dee was lying in his room, looking at the
ceiling. When he saw me he was surprised at my sweater and
wide denims.
''Got any booze?" I asked him.
"We'll find a drop or two,'' he said.
He pulled a bottle from under the pillow and knocked it back
first. Two hours, two bottles, and twenty valiums. Everythin_g was
in its place. I v ... as back in the saddle.
*
Office Management was a subject in the second year in the
Law and Administration School if you had the professional pro-
file of law technician. Office Management taught sixteen-year-old
kids how to manage offices. Fax machines, telephones, copy
machines, staples. Those were complex instruments that an ama-
teur could not use. I saw in other students' textbooks that they
described in detail the first fax machines that appeared in the
world and the first photocopy machines. Most of those machines
were made long back before I was born and were outdated by
now. 1 had a D in Office Management for the whole year,
although I could easily have an F. I guess the teacher gave me
a passing grade hoping it would appease the gods not to let her
kid turn out like me. Practice training in Office Management
began on Monday. It lasted for a week and took place in offices
The Dance of Small- Time !Jemons 141
-------------------------------------
across Belgrade. Kosta. Baki. me. and another two guys from our
class applied to put in the practice classes together. No one tried
to break us apart. We were supposed to go every morning at nine
o'clock to New Belgrade, to some busted enterprise near Fontana.
I went to my father's on Sunday. Lunch went in a routine
manner. I met no old witches. Getting drunk at Dee Dee's the
previous day had helped. Later I hung around the town so that I
wouldn't be home in case Una called. When l got home. moth-
er said that "some Una" had called me. I thanked her for the
information and lay on the bed.
I met Kosta and Peda on a nearby corner. Monday mornmg
at half past eight. I was wearing my Saturday get-up. sweater
tucked in denims: they had a hell of a and Kosta told
me that finally I had become a man. Peda was one of the remain-
ing two from our class who had to do practice hours with us. He
was a good guy. His grades were like mine and he had a ten-
dency to disobey. but somehow he never joined our pa11y. Baki
was coming to practice hours directly from horne because he lived
nearby. The last guy. some deferential football player. Pi pee. was
coming from who knows where, alone.
They tucked us into a basement room. There were two dnmks
and one photocopy machine there. The small window was on a
line with the sidewalk, but you could not see anyone's legs as
the company was in the middle of a field. wed only see a cat
lurking from time to time, eyeing the pigeons. The two drunks.
Ljuba K and Ljuba M, as they introduced themselves, hit the bot-
tle all day long and talked about women.
''Oh, man, have you seen legs on that trainee from the staff
department?" Ljuba K asked.
"I've seen them, man. Legs made to spend the day on my
shoulders," Ljuba M would answer.
"Legs made to have my nose between them all day long,"
Ljuba K approved and so on and on.
142
Marko
We were sitting around idle. Then a mustached guy came in
the room and harshly reprimanded Ljuba and Ljuba for not giv-
ing us any work to do.
'"The kids have to learn what work on a photocopy machine
is. they have to Jearn what an obligation means. what a good pho-
tocopy is. and not what idling and drinking is. Get to work!"
He got out. When he closed the door. Ljuba K said quietly:
why, l"ll fuck that big-assed daughter of yours ... The mustached
man turned out to be the direct supervisor of Ljuba and Ljuba. I
asked them what we were supposed to do, and Ljuba M told me .
.. You two go buy us some breakfast. I tJ have a cheese
burek,* and Ljuba will have a meat-burek. You can take what
you like with the change. And the three of you go to the market
across the street. and buy us two liters of grape brandy:
Kosta and I went to get the bureks. Of course, Ljuba and
Ljuba the money which was just enough for 250 grams
of burek for each of them. so Kosta and I were left with nothing.
We 200 grams of the burek for each of them and two
muffins for each of us. On the way back we spat in their meat
and cheese. When we returned, the muffins had already been
eaten and we told Ljuba and Ljuba that we had had just enough
money for their bureks so we were left hungry.
"Damn, price must've gone up a bit,'' Ljuba M said and got
on to the burek.
They ate hungrily, and then Baki, Peda, and Pipce showed
up with the booze. Ljuba and Ljuba were thrilled, they forgot
about the bureks and each opened one bottle. They asked if some-
one of us would like to take a hit, and Kosta and I applied.
"Look at that, the loony and the other one want to drink. And
they've only just been hatched," Ljuba M said. I was the loony.
While we sat like that and drank I got hold of a pencil and
drew on a piece of paper Ljuba and Ljuba screwing a pig. One
in the mouth. the other from the back.
l
I
p
"What are you drawing?" Ljuba K asked me. and l handed
him the paper.
He st:lflcd laughing. He showed the paper tn i ~ mmc-;ake.
who also started laughing.
"The two of us?'' They asked, and I nodded my head.
"Hey. could you draw that man with the mustache who was
corning here?" Ljuba K asked.
"Sure.'' I said.
''Yeah, draw him screwing the boss," Ljuba M said.
''I don't know how the boss looks like ... I said.
"We'll explain.
I drew the man with the mustache with his dick out and
clenched fists. He came out welL There was some empty space
beside him. I was waiting for instructions.
"Fat," Ljuba K said.
"Blond curly hair," Ljuba M said.
"Piggy nose: Ljuha K said.
"G1ving him a blow-job!'' Ljuba M said.
"No, him screwing her up the ass!" Ljuba K said.
"Yeah, yeah, up the ass!" Ljuba M said.
"Yes, yes, bravo!'' Ljuba K said.
"Ah, man, they're the same as in nature!'' Ljuba yelled.
"And now let's get to work!" Ljuba M said and grabbed the
paper with the drawing.
He stood by the photocopy machine with it.
''So, kids, this is a photocopy machine. It is for photocopy-
ing ... things. You can stick your hand or your face inside and
copy that. Most often you copy papers. This is a paper," he said
showing us the drawing. "Now we will make a copy. You do it
like this. You put the paper here, you put down the cover and
you press the button."
He pressed the button and the machine started buzzing. A
photocopy of my drawing soon came out of it.
144
Marko Vidojkovi(
"If you want, you can program the machine to produce many
copies. Here, I will program it to one hundred copies."' Ljuba M
went on.
He pressed some other buttons and the machine started
buzzing. Papers started coming out of it. Ljuba M and L juba K
laughed. We laughed. Then they sent us home. It wa' half p a ~ t
eleven.
*
lt was too early for anything, so Baki and I went to his place.
We were sitting on the terrace. breathing in the sct'nts of spring,
which were becoming heavier after every breath. All of a sudden,
without any declaration of war, Ana appeared in my head. I hated
myself.
"How are you and Tanja getting along?" I asked Baki.
"Uh, great. She's got big tits and jerking me off everv day."
he was talking, fascinated. "And how are you and that chick?"
"What chick?''
"Baldy, don't fuck with me."
'Una?"
"Baldy, don't fuck with me."
"I feel like I have a piece of shit in my mouth," I said.
"Is she so terrible?"
"She is not terrible. I am terrible."
"All right, so, what are you going to do?"
"I plan to go to school in the afternoon and break up with
her, but I won't do it unless you come with me and break up
with Tanja.''
''Let's go."
After this, the atmosphere got much better. Breaths of spring
air were lighter and lighter. The time passed quickly, we sat in
a taxi and went to school. We arrived there at 4 p.m. sharp. It
l
!
1
~
f'
The Dance of Snw/1- fi!llc /Jcnwns 145
------------------------------ ------- ----- -- ----- -- -
was the middle of recess. The yard was uvernu\Hicd and lll'hod)
expected us. I saw Ana on one side uf the yard and Una on the
other. When the cat j, away. ihe mice will plav I made r<:'<-olutc'
steps to Una. As I was coming over. first I saw her cnthusia:-:m,
but when she saw my face, I 'aw the panic. When ! got there.
everything was clear to her.
''Listen, we can't he together. l am a piece of shit. :.1 bastard.
a turd, and you're not. l need someone who Is a piece of sh1t. a
bastard, a turd, and not you. All right, I'll see you then.'' I said.
The next second I was already walking to the kiosk, and l
ordered a sandwich. l had no money. but Daca. who worked in
the kiosk, didn't make any problems when I took the ,andwich
and turned back without paying for it. The next time I looked at
the place where Una stood. she was not there anymore. I sc;m.'hed
around the yard. Ana was gone too. l was efficient. Tiwy rneit-
ed into thin air Bak1 and I anp were standrng -;ome twenty
meters away frum me. arc:uin_e. CO\'Crcd her face with her
hands ami ran into the -;chool building. Baki approached rile
kiosk.
"Did this scumbag pay for the sandwich'!" He asked Daca.
"No.'' she said.
"Here's the money for sandwich. and I'll have a crepe
with a ton of chocolate."
He turned to me. His look was hysterical.
''What have l done? What have I done'
1
". He yelled.
"You paid for my sandwich. Thank you."
''No, not the sandwich. Fuck the What have I
clone, why did I break up with TanJa, why did I listen to yuu?"
"l guess l was convincing enough," I said calmly. I eat-
ing the sandwich, and he was on the verge of a breakdown.
"Shit. shit, shit,'' he kept saying. "Shit. shit. shit."
Dijana Jankovic came by from somewhere.
"You look gross!'' She said.
146
Marko
"Why?"
"Those gross pants, that sweater, those sneakers. What the
fuck is wrong with you?"
"Well, he looks worse than me," I said pointing at Baki.
"He was never a punk. You used to be something special."
I had heard that somewhere already.
"And now I'm not because I put on some pants and a
sweater? See what you are all like, a bunch of shallow brained
cows." I told her, and she frowned.
Baki Markovic was plunging into his crepe and crying.
Dijana Jankovic ami Tanja went to the same class, so Baki asked
her to tell Tanja to wait him after the next period. It didn't last
long.
"You're so full of shit," I said to Baki and Dijana and went
home.
*
That night the depression reached its peak. I had only two
packages of valium left, and I needed half the package to feel
any effect at all. Two packages of valium had to be distributed
carefully over the rest of my life. In year 1992, you could not
buy medicine in private pharmacies. Private pham1acies didn't
even exist at the time. Tablet-maniacs scored from their neurotic
mothers and from other people's bathrooms.
Dee Dee went to school the morning shift. If I hadn't been
going to the practice, I'd have gone to school afternoon shift. This
way, we met already around six. We sat on the steps of the
Construction Bureau, and the employees went around us on their
way home. I told him I had broken up with Una.
"Clever."
"It is clever, but I can't get that little cunt out of my head,"
I told him.
l
The Dance of Small-Time Demons 147

I was silent.
'Listen. Smak is playing in the Center tommrn11 :Pld
the day after. We could go." Dee Dee told me.
"What for'' It !l be full of shitty. stoned hippies. That Smak
is reincarnation of everything that l want to run away from."
'We will he shitty. stoned punks there. We'll on all JI
them. Your dark princess will definitely be at one of the con-
certs."
''What about Iris)''
"She'll be there on Wednesday.
"Then we go on Wednesday too."
We went to the Ticket Service and wrung out our last cents
to pay for the concert tickets. We paid to go straight to the cen-
ter of helL to the heart Pt enemy, tern tory. The two of us against
two thousand heavily armed hippies.
When we arrived at practice the next day, there were photo-
copies of my drawing pasted all over the company\ 1valls. Ljuba
K and Ljuba M even made an effort to write down the main
characters' names above their heads on every drawing so that
even those who didn't recognize the man with the mustache and
the boss would know who they were. l left the denims and the
sweater at the bottom of my closet to wait for some other time.
I put on boots. a motor jacket, the torn 501 s and top part of my
pajamas. The security worker at the entrance refused to let me in.
"Where do you think you're going'
71
'' He yelled while we
passed by him.
"Practice hours," Pecla said.
''You can, he can't''' He pointed his finger at me.
"Why can't 1'
1
" I a-,1-.ed.
148 Marko Vidojkovic'
---------------
---
Look at yourself. What does that look like: Where did you
see this?" The security was yelling.
Just then. Ljuba M came fr()m <,]apped the
and ordered him to let us in.
"Let's go. kids."
Baki. Pipce. Ljuba K and the mustached man were Silting m
the basement. When Kosta. Pcda. Ljuha M. and I came hv _ the
circle was closed. The mustached man was extremely nervous.
''What the hell is this?!" He yelled at Ljuba and Ljuha point-
ing at the drawing.
"Looks like you and the boss." Ljuba M smd to htm.
The mustached man closed his eyes. clenched his teeth and
squeezed the drawing.
"Who drew this?'" He asked. and Ljuba and Ljuha shrugged.
"All right. if we don't know who drew this. we know
where it was copied. This copy machine is the only une m the
building. You two arc responsible for this piel-e of Tt!e
mustached man kept yellmg.
''What do we know. maybe someone of the k1ds drew it and
copied it while we weren't here," Ljuba K smd.
"You left your workplace'!"' The mustached man was scream-
mg.
"No, err. .. no," Ljuba K defended.
"'After all. how can these kids know what the boss looks like?
You two are involved in this! I think you did it together. These
little bastards and you two.'"
. Ljuba and Ljuba were looking at the floor. and the five of
us stared around, pretending not to understand what the mus-
tached man was talking about.
"'Look at this one tor instance ... ,. The mustached man sud-
denly pointed at me. How can this one be a student in any
school? [ think he is fucking with us! I think he came here only
to be a shit stirrer."
i
I
I
-I
149
The mustached man was paranoid. My friends started defend-
me. They said I was in the same class with them. and that 1
1*1 been an excellent student last year. .
. ';, .. "I didn't wear mustaches last year either. and look at me
, tiiJ'i! A kid goes nuts at very short notice. Some I ittle whore
Jllilkes him lose his mind, and he starts to look like this. It's over!
. ldon't wanna see you around! You are walking fucking trouble.
not fit for people. you're _fit for life. give you sig
for the next three days. \ ou II show that m your school
., .. everything will be fine. For you. practice hours are over.'' the
liastached man said.
We then went away. We had five practice hours out of thir-
ty planned. Every morning the mustached man was supposed to
give us his signature the date it. Before we left. he
ecribbled five dates and five stgnatures on ftve copy papers and
pve them to us. Ljuha and Ljuha sat on the desk looking at the
high-level little window. A cat was passing hy. for
pipons.
While we were climbing the stairs that led to the ground
we heard the mustached man yelling at Ljuba M and Ljuba
the basement. The practice was over. By the end of the
we were left with the whole of Tuesday, the whole of
, all Thursday. all Friday, and the whole weekend. It
beginning of June, twenty degrees out. The sun did not
open your eyes wide. Treetops were green, New Belgrade
white, kids running, and the old farts crept. On the first
the five of us went in five different directions. Before we
up, Baki whispered to me he had reconciled with Tanja.
proposed that the two of us should go home together, but
I was going to my father's, who was nearby, so I
the Blocks on foot. Peda was okay, but I wasn't in the
socializing. I felt a pressure in my chest, and Ana was
in my souL She was persistent, she was shrewd, like a
150
Marko
---
wicked disease. You would just think you were cured, and shc'J
appear treacherously from some distant part of the organism, usu-
ally when the sun was shining.
J sat on the bench and waited. I waited to make sure thar
Pecla got on the bus and went home. After half an hour of sit-
ting on the bench, I started to look suspicious to the local Ne\v
Belgrade retired officers and their wives. They peeped out
through the windows, looking at me, my hair and my boots.
There were more and more of them, and soon the whole neigh-
borhood was teeming with pensioners who were wandering left
and right. looking at me with suspicion. I stood up and went to
the stop. There was no Peel a there.
The Smak concen was to begin in the grand hall of the Sava
Center at eight on Wednesday evening. Dee Dec and I met in
front of my building at \ix. I brought my last package of valium
with me. We bought a liter of grape brandy and sat in front of
the Construction Bureau. The guard came and chased us away.
We went to the yard of the Mental Health Institute. The Institute
was frequented by alcoholics. drug addicts. frustrated teenagers,
frustrated teenagers parents. The yard of the Institute was fre-
quented by no one. although it was decorated with wooden bench-
es. Dee Dee and I sat on one bench. Each of us took fifteen va-
liums and half a liter of brandy. There were no more valiums.
Not in my pocket. not in my room. The last ones were festering
in my stomach, fermenting in alcohol
The 95 we got on was half-empty. We sat on a double wood-
en bench. Our flies were open; when and why we opened them
remained unknown. Five controllers got on the bus at Zeleni
Venae. They all wore leather jackets, they were between 30 and
50 years old, and they spoke in some unknown dialect. They
l
l
of Small-Time Demons
/51
the passengers' tickets and kicked out those who had no
Dee Dee and I had no tickets. They pinched the ass of the
.... ,;t who was sitting _in front of us and ordered her to get off in
it middle of the bndge. When they_ got to us, they JUSt passed
.. started molesting the people behmd. Our appearance carried
.ame specific weight. .
, When the effect of vahums and alcohol got stronger. r
. more It was unusually clear in my head. 1 was
. i-of everythmg and everybody. I was aware of my haircut,
f1 my of my pajamas tops and my pubic hairs that were
out from my unzipped fly. I didn't know how Dee Dee
... we didn't speak at all. He seemed calmer even than me.
Maybe. we were dying?
It was drizzling, and Dee. Dec and I were sitting in the court-
JIId in front of the Sava Center, near the mast on which non-
aligned flags flew once. Bunches of hippies went by us. They
didn't like us. We came across Duke in the lobby of the Sava
Center. He had come to the concert with his choir friends. When
JQU think of choir members. the first thing you think of are
and wimps. But, members of the Krsmanac choir were all
and lowlifes. They were unshaven, fat, in worn-out
jackets and torn denims. They looked ready for a fight
good fun. After Duke, we met Iris. She was standing with
friends in front of the entrance ro the hall. Neither of the
"What are you two doing here?'' She said.
We were looking at her frowningly. without a word. We didn't
, we didn't sway. We just stood there and looked at them,
our flies open. Iris shrugged her shoulders and started for
llle\'lfhete. Dee Dee and I entered the hall. We picked seats in
.. wt.c:. at a decent distance from the stage.
old hippie came to us, along with his woman. They were
as my parents. He tried to lift us.
152 Marko Vidojkovi('
'Sorry, these are our seats," he said. and his compan-
ion nodded.
We were sitting on their seats. Dee Dee took out Pl!r tickrt'
and gave them to him.
"You're wrong. pa, these are your seats," he said.
The old hippie for a second thought to confront us. and then
his hippie companion pulled him hy the sleeve and whispcrcr!
something in his car. She probably reminded him that twenty
years before she had wanked him off in Kalemegdan. He smiled.
took the tickets from Dee Dee and dragged the female to their
new seats. They were the worst seats in the house. All the \vay
up, all the way left The only thing that they could see from there
was the blue walL The concert began.
I slept through half of the concert, but some of the
ing songs really hit me. Several times Dee Dee and I howled and
spat on the lloor. but we spent most of the concert on our
and waiting for the end. Hippies gathered in front of the
stage. They danced. We sat and carefully tracked every detaiL
''This sucks dick. my bro,'' I told Dee Dee between the songs.
"Yeah." he said.
"I don't know how can this turn someone on."
"Yeah," he said.
The concert ended and we set off home. The effect of grape
brandy and medicines was gone and the aggressiveness kicked in
right away. We met Iris with her friends at the stop.
"How did you like the concert?" She asked.
Dee Dee looked her in the face and started howling. They
were inarticulate cries that were not even unleashed by animals.
Iris moved a couple of meters away.
"Good Lord, Dee Dee, what's wrong with you?"
Dee Dee again looked her in the face and started howling. I
stood beside him. The stop was full of hippies and they were all
looking at the two of us. Dee Dee coughed and stopped howling.
T_i __ n_le_D ___ e __ n_w_n __ s____________ _ _ ______ !
beaded home on foot. It was raining. we were completely
Iober, but the next morning I could not remember ho\\o we had
got home.
On Thursday the phone woke me. Dec- Dee.
"I won't go to school today. I've got one great iuea for your
situation. I'm coming right away:
He hung up before I'd managed to say anything .-'\nd he was
ringing the doorbell before I'd finished my morning shit. I got
off the toilet, opened the door to him, and went back to the toi-
let bowl.
Dee Dee was glowing. He looked like Slll1leone whu man-
j aged to find a solution for everything. the answer t<) all riddles.
the meaning of life.
"Why are you so happyr I asked him.
"I've got an idea, my friend. I've got the idea how you can
make peace with Ana."
The bad morning was turning into a bad afternoon. Ana was
in my head, but I didn't feel like making peace with her at all. I
asked him what was on his mind, and he said the plan was simple.
Dee Dee would call Iris and tell her that I took a lot of pills when
I got home after the concert. He'd tell her that the ambulance came.
that I barely survived, and that I did it all tix Ana. She'd no doubt
call Ana after that, and Ana would no doubt call me to see how I
was doing. I hadn't heard a dumber plan recently.
"It's worth a try,'' I said. "If nothing else, it's worth a try
because it's Thursday."
Dec Dee phoned Iris immediately. The curtain rose. He cried,
howled, yelled. "That whore almost killed my I had to
leave to another room to keep from laughing and breaking his
concentration. Iris was hooked. First she wanted to come to see
/54 Marko Vidojkovic'
how I was doing. Dee Dee forbade it, he told her that my con-
dition was not altogether stable, and that I could drop dead any
minute. He had no clue ahout medicine, and Iris even worse.
"If you really want to be of any use to Boban," he told her, call
that whore and tell her what the guy did because of her. She
should think about her life a little." The conversation was over.
Dee Dee then \Vent to the supermarket and brought a liter of
vodka and six beers. There were no valiums so we had to get
wasted in the old-fashioned way. We turned on the TV. There
was a movie on. Once Upon a Time in the West. Charles
Bronson. There was a guy uglier than me.
The time passed. We drank all the beers and all the vodka.
The movie ended, and Charles Bronson, although ugly, managed
to kick everyone\ ass. Ana didn't call. and it was torturing me
a great deal. The pian first seemed just like a joke, but if she
really didn't care that I tried to kill myself, then I wondered what
kind of a femJle monster we were dealing with here. l was get-
ting
oh, she.li definitely call. She's at home now. thinking up
what to tell you." Dee Dee said.
"What if she doesn't call? What an idiot l am. I get embar-
because of one emotionless slut.''
oh, she' II call."
"And WHAT IF SHE DOESN'T?!"
'Then you'll know what kind of sleazy bitch she is. In any
case - you win."
Dee Dee was right. hut I was still on pins and needles. The
phone rang several times, but all the calls were either zeros or
minuses. A few of them even asked me whether I had more of
those pills that I had almost died from. The news obviously
spread fast. People offered heaps of money for killer-pills. I told
them that the pills were not for sale and that I was keeping them
for the next suicide.
p
I
The Dance (lf Small-Time IJ_enu:ns ________
Baki called me too.
"Baldy, I hear you tned to kill yourself."
"How the fuck did you find out')" I asked him
"Hey, Baldy, what do I look like to you? How are you? Why
did you do it?"
''I did nothing, man. It's just a joke. We put the hu?: for no
reason, for a laugh."
"What should I tell people if they ask me about you?"
"Tell them they heard wrong. Tell them I didn't survive."
"Okay."
It got dark and Dee Dee was lying in my bed. He wasn't
conscious. My mother was in another room. watching TV. At
21:33 the telephone rang. Ana.
"What are you doing to yourself. man'l'' She asked in;-tcad
of saying hello.
"Why do you ask?"
''What is this bullshit? Pills. suicidc'
1
I even heard ,l
that you didn't survive."
Baki was doing the work.
"I survived."
"When did it happen? What was it?"
"Oh, I went to Smak yesterday ... "
"I was there on Tuesday:
" ... and when I got home, I saw everything red. I took a lot
of pills and died."
"Died?"
"Yeah. I was hovering for a while above my body, and then
I got pulled into a tunnel."
"My God!"
"Yeah. I was flying through this tunnel, and there was light at
the end. 1 came to this light and asked it where I was. It didn't
answer, it just pointed at one picture. Yours."
156
Marko Vidojkovic'
The nonsense I was making up made me feel like puking. I
took the phone out onto the terrace. I didn't want the conversa-
ticm to wake up Dee Dee.
"No shit! My picture?'"
"Yep."
"And? And')"
It turnrd out that Ana \vas more limited than I had thought.
I guess she looked smart only because of her tits and ass. Maybe
her eyes played some supporting role, too.
'Nothing. Then I regained consciousness. You killed me. but
you saved me. You're playmg with me.'
"You speak like a poet."
''I'll never be one of those suckers."
"Is everything all right now?" She asked.
"Yeah."
come IO ;chnol tomorrow. during the recess ...
We ended the conversation. I was looking from the terrace.
[ saw the Panccvo bridge and lights on it. I saw the small lighh
of the Dorcol apartments and the dark that was behind them.
There were a few stars glowing in the sky, and some of them
had been dead for a long time. The air was fresh and it gave me
the chills. I felt like an idiot. The whole farce had been com-
pletcly unnecessary. What would happen when I met Ana the next
day in the schoolyard? She'd be standing there, triumphantly nod-
ding her head for the billionth time, showing all the Unas of this
world who my real master was. And her tits and her ass would
remain equally distant. We shouldn't have called anyone, we
shouldn't have said anything. I should have kept quiet and wait-
ed for things to take care of themselves, or for time to take care
of them. I did the only wrong thing possible, I was forcing a dead
man to run the marathon. One friendly conversation with Ana and
I was fucked-up again. The depression returned, and there were
no anti-depressants any more. T had fucked it up again.
The Dance of Snw!!-Timc Demons !57
---- -- ------------------------
As I was luoking at the June sky and the blalknt:ss nt the
Danube in the distance. a .,mnewhar unusual lceling came over
me. It seemed like very irnpnrtant wa., cnn'inc' to <.n
end. I couldn't grasp it- the important thing. The only thin:" that
was coming to its end was the second year of high school. hut
that was irrelevant. because it would he followed h; :1 third year.
or another secPnd year for those \Vho f:1iled. !!w '''''
tearing me apart. I got panicky. as if J were !using sllllldliiflg
really important Either that. or I senously felt like taking a shit.
l went to my room. woke up Dee Dee. told him what had
happened. told him how I felt, and sent i11m !lome.
On FridJy I vvcnl to -.cl10ol at rlc,_:ss. The sun WdS shilling.
and l put on dark glasses and came kn minute, earliL:I. The van!
was empty. No Pnr. was havmg cia:<' tn the cLts'r<Hlll'.
so I could not perform any of my circu., !rom my reduced
repertoire. I was sober. J was sitting on a bench and The
bell rang. People started filling up the yard. Sume hello lli
me, some didn't. Some had heard about my suietde attempt. some
hadn't. Ana was among the first \.\ ho came out. She came to me
and kissed me on the cheek. which made me sick. l felt people
were looking at me. They knew everything. They knew about
Ana, they knew about Una. they knew about me. They thought I
was pathetic. It woulcln 't hurt me what people thought if I thought
they wrong This way it hurt. For those l\venty minutes l
heard twenty times I was her best friend. The same uid shabby
phrase. the same old shabby story. I wanted her tits. and she didn't
want to lose my friendship. After rel'ess, l went home.
Going out to Krsmanac was the phn for Saturday night.
Going out was of special importance. it was a special kind of cel-
ebrating twu wonderful friendship>. Ana's and mine and Dee
!58 Marko Vidojkovi{
Dee's and Iris's. For two of them, it was a celebration of victo-
ry over two shitty punks, and for us. it was yet another in a series
of humiliations on the road to final disaster. Iris. Ana. a few of
their friends, Dee Dee, and I were supposed to go to Krsmanac.
So many friends at one place. The meeting was scheduled in the
Republic Square. near the fountain heside the mall, at II p.m.
I came to Dee Dee at seven. We didn't drink. so we felt
rather bad emotionally. We went out and hung around the neigh-
borhood. We came across Mufi. Mufi went to the same class with
us in grade school. He was the class bully, he twisted our heads.
cab, and arms. He was regular at Pm1isan 's South, fat aud
unshaven, I mean like all Partisan fans. He was truly happy to
see us. We met him a couple of times that spring.
Once when he saw us stoned in front of an entrance. he W<h
so scJ.red that we would cross over to the great beyond thm he
ran to Klip. who lived across the street, filled one plastic bottle
with water and poured the water over us. He was convinced he
had saved our lives. He had started to atone for all he did to L:s
in grade schooL
Mufi, Dee Dee and I hung around the neighborhood, and
Mufi criticized us for doing drugs. He had heard somewhere that
we were heroin addicts, so he thought things were much more
serious than they really were. We tried to reassure him. We
showed him our pupils, rolled up our sleeves. and h.c said that
meant nothing, because he heard some drug addicts stabbed their
dicks too. It seemed to him like the two of us were that kind.
We didn't use our dicks for anything else.
We got to the building where Ljuba Batrovic lived. Dee Dee
and Mufi remembered the adventures from grade school. I still
couldn't remember this Batrovic. The part of my brain where
Ljuba Batrovic lived was probably burned out by vaiium and
alcohol. He burned away, together with my brain. We knocked
on his window. Some shitty old woman opened it. Ljuba's grand-
mother, I guess.
I
I
I
1
!
The Dance of Small-Time
!50
"Can I help you. children?" We appeared ac: chJidrcn tu her.
"Young lady, is Ljuba there?" Mufi said. The uid womJn
laughed at the bad sense of .
"No. Ljuba IS m the hmp1taL she smd.
"What's wrong?" Mufi asked.
"Cancer."
"Cancer?'' Mufi couldn't believe
"Cancer,'' the old woman persua,ive.
"Fuck," Mufi said.
"Yeah," the old woman said.
"Say hello to him," Mufi
We left. Mufi got upset, and Dee Dec and I were cunvincul
that Ljuba had made a deal with mother and grandmother to
fuck with us the next time we came by, telling us the c<,nccJ
story. We went to Duke's.
Duke was hospitable, as aiways. When we gnt upsLi1s hi.s
mother was there. and she got a hit scared by her Stlfl,
She asked Duke who we .vcre, and he expL1incd to her that we
had gone to the same class with him for eight yc:JrS, and ti'at she
had to remember us. She couldn't remember. I could understand
her completely.
"If they went to the same class with ynu. they didn't look
like this for sure. In fact, I think I only knov.: that fatty one."
Duke's mother ran away into some other mom. and the four
of us remained in the living room, the one where we once
watched the Intercontinental Cup finale and the beginning of the
war in Bosnia. The TV was off this time. We sat, :,ilent. At one
point, I found a pocketknife and started scratching my arm.
"What are you doing''" Mufi askc;d me.
"Nothing. Just scratching."
"I bet you haven't got the balls to cut yourself.''
Mufi was wrong. I stuck the pocketknife mto my arm and
made a severe gash. The blood poured, the meat gaped. The
pocketknife was small, but nastv. I hadn't really thought how
160
Marko Vidojkrwic
nasry, so I cut myselt more than r had planned. The blood
streamed down my arm. and l sat with a smile, waiting for the
blood to start falling on the carpet. My three friends got fidgetv
Duke went lu the bathroom to bring me the toliet paper to band-
age my wound. He gave me all the toilet paper that remained.
He wouldq 't have anything to wipe his ass with. J bandaged the
toilet paper amund my arm. sitting.
"You arc an 1diot: What is this'.'" i\lufi yelled at me. M: nn\
father.
''Well, we had a bet,'' I told him.
"'Good Lord." he said. looking at t!w ceiling anJ
himself with left arm. They were looking for alcohol tP disinfect
my wound. They brought a bottlr with no label from the kitchen.
it was full of some stinking brandy. They poured the brandy over
my arm. It was burning. After that Mufi tonk the hutlle and
knocked it back. He offered me and Dee Dee. We refused. Then
he took a canister of tear gas out of his pocket and sprayed at
all of us. me. Duke, Dec Dee, even hin1sdf. We lWlghed. sneezed
and cried. And then we left. Duke stayed in the tlat and opened
all \Vindows.
The three r1f us arrived at the Square at five to eleven. Mufi
was planning to go to a cafe near the railway Some
friends of his were waiting for him there. He tried to talk us into
going with him, but we told him that we already had an appoint-
ment with some of our friends. Female friends. We were stand-
ing, and then Ana came up. She was accompanied by two hounds.
One was bald, ragged. with hooked nose, and the other had
messed-up hair, dry as a bone, all in rags. They were some
friends of hers. They probably went up through the same treat-
ment as me, and they turned into her shadows who supported her
d
e
/,
I-
I.
e
v
g
r
The Dance of Small- Time Demons
-
161
unquestioningly, followed her Everywhere, mad smiles from
hell plastered on their faces. Ana me and kis<;ed rnt on
the cheek. The theater. Her shadows ClJdn t look m our
J)ee Dee was looking at the ground. and Mufi made some di'-
gusted face. Ana asked me what that toilet pape1: around my arm
rneant. The paper was bloody. I unwrapped 11 anu showed lla the
scratch. She turned her head away and asked me why J had rlonc
it. She was hoping that it was because of her toe. She criticized
rne from time to time for cutting my arms or inscribing her name
in them, but it all made me want to cut even deeper and more
often. Ana wanted to see her name engraved all over my body.
She wanted to see my blood leaking from the letters. I told her
that this time I had cut myself because the razor that I used for
shaving was too sharp. Ana gulped in anger. Then Iris with three
friends came up. Iris came to Dee Dee and they shook hands, she
came to me and we shook hands, she came to Ana and kissed
her on the cheek. Iris was more moderate in her atrocity than
Ana, Iris was a little better person than Ana. Lucky Dee Dee.
We set off toward Krsmanac together. Mufi came over to
Dee Dee and me.
"What do you need these whores for? Come along with me
to the cafe."
Mufi was right, but no one wanted to admit it. We said no,
and he sprayed some more tear gas into our eyes as a farewell
and ran toward the Palace hotel. Ana held me under my arm and
walked happily, strolling in long steps and shaking her ass. Life
was beautiful for her. Of course it was beautiful with so many
slaves around. To me, her life was repulsive. Her two shadows
followed us at a two-meter distance. I could feel their looks full
of hatred. Dee Dee and Iris were not holding hands. They walked
side by side, but they didn't have any physical contact. Iris's girl-
friends went behind them, completely indifferent to everything
that was happening in front of them.
-
162
Marko Vidojkovi(
We entered Krsmanac. Some started dancing immediately.
and some sat on the floor. Dec Dee was standing and t<Jiking to
l ,,tl un rhc nom. Ana was first dancing. in her lively Jll),
and then she .at by my side Her shadows sat on the tloor on
the other side of the room. I was completely l was com-
pktdy sober.
'\\hat\ wwng Bukt, why don l yuu dance
1
.. She ;:sked me.
May BoL you. I thought. I was sitting and looking at
the black wall.
Ana JUmped up and went oYer to some guy. Some poor bas-
tard and a suckn. like me. She made a move on him. Thcv were
close enough that I could hear what they ta !ked about.
"Hcy
1
'' Ana said coming to him resolutely
''Oh." be said. all trembling because of her tits making their
W<!) to him. The fee!ing was familiar.
"You\c got a beautiful necklace ... Ana told him and took
him by that little piece of shit that hung around his neck.
"Oh.'' the poor bastard said. He was even worse than me.
'Where did you get it?" Ana asked.
'Hmm ... l bought it.'' he said.
'Where did you buy it, I want the same one'" Ana said.
The guy took off his necklace and gave her.
"For me?' She screamed. and he confirmed by nodding that
horse head of his. She embraced him and kissed him on the
cheeks. She pressed his chest with her tits, and I very well knew
what he felt like. He was cooked for less than a minute. It takes
less time to cook a male than make popcorn. Ana introduced her-
self, and they exchanged phone numbers. In the end, she told him
they should call each other, that he was wonderful, and that
someone who was so wonderful just had to be her friend. She
thought she had the power, but she only had tits and ass. Still,
that was enough for some. She looked at me. It was a look of
an evil demon that devoured people's souls. From some angles,
some distant angles, her eyes seemed warm.
,
The Dance of _ ___ /63
I stood up without a word. f went to Dee Dee. He .. ,,till
chattering with Iris. I dragged aside.
"We're getting out ot here. I told hnn.
"What has come over you now? We just got hen:"
"I'm leaving right now, you stay if you want to. I can 'r
these whores.''
"If you are so eager to go, I'm coming with ym:." he :..arJ.
We set off immediately. without any declaration. without say-
ing goodbye.
We were walking down 29th N<Jven,hcr SIJeet. :-.t1cn
was wet, and we could see the cleaning truck wash1ng it down.
We walked, following its wet track. and water came in through
the holes in my All Stars. We didn't say a \\ord to teach uthcr.
and we stood in front of my building for a while. sighing dcLplv
and looking at the starry sky. We made :r kw comments on :..oliw
chicks who passed by, but we did it somehow indifferently. wirh
no heart. Then Dee Dee wJril horne l{idmg in the eic\ator. I was
looking at the scratch on my ann. The blood had stopped, but
the flesh went out of the scratch everywhere. When I entered the
room, I didn't turn on the lights. I ttn11ed on the music. Bad
Religion.
*
The end of the school year was near, and I was left with two
Fs on the books. Phys Ed and Physics. Almost everybody had an
F in Phys Ed because they didn't feel like going to the May 25th
sports hall. The teacher appointed a Thursday for the Phys Ed tests.
We were only supposed to show up and our Fs would turn into
something else. and we were supposed to do something more if we
wanted to turn the F into a B or A. I was satisfied with an D.
It was Thursday. Fifth class. Physics. The teacher went to her
utility room to take out some contraptions that were supposed to
164
Marko Vidojkovi('
-------
teach us 1:1any things about life. Her contraptions taught us what
happened to a body if it were hit by a car at 90 kilometers per
hour. how the light reflected when a drunkard looked though
a halfempty bottle of wine, what happened with the glass on the
surrounding buildings when Serbs bombed the Sarajevo market-
place. All tha! might have been interesting to someone. but her
didn't teach us the real things: how to get the chick.
how to put a hand in her panties, how to make her have oral sex
with you. Sitting in Physics was senseless. Kosta and Baki stood
up and \Valkcd out of the classroom. I stood up too, and Toza
followed me. Pipce, Peda and three other guys whose names I
could never remember went along. We all had Fs in Physics. so
there wasn't really much to lose. Physics was the class before the
last one. Phys Ed was scheduled for 2 p.m. We were supposed
to kill those couple of hours somewhere. and I came up with the
propo-.al that we could go to my place. I was the only one who
Jived on the half way between :;chool and the May 25th
When mother .;aw who I brought horne, she yuickly got ready
and went out. We sat and waited. At one point, someone got the
idea that we should hold a seance. It was a very populm kind of f.
game at the time. Everyone agreed. We soon cut up pieces of t
paper and wrote letters from the alphabet and numbers from one ''
to nine. There were yes and no written on two slips of paper. I '
brought a plastic yogurt cup. The plastic cup was to be our con
nection with the spirit world. I didn't have to put blinds down.
They were already down. The atmosphere was okay, we only f
argued a bit about who was to be in charge of the cup and ask- J'
ing the questions. There were too many who wanted to be in
charge. I imposed myself being in the first round as I was the
host and organizer of the whole event. Kosta and Peda were also
for the first round of calling the spirits. The three of us
knelt around the glass table on which pieces of paper were scat-
tered and on whose center stood the yogurt cup. The cup was
165
.;.-A. upside down. Each of the three of us put his index finger
""u;b rib of the cup. There was absolute silence in the room.
CIB :ould only hear the sound ot buses and trucks roaring Jown
You November Street. Others sat around, on the couch and the
29th It started. We had absolutely no idea how to do this. hut I
floor . .
1
was our will that counted the mo:.;t.
guess 1 h .,,.
1
. . k
1
"Spirits, are you t ere. a ~ el .
1
felt stupid, and someone trom the sidelines m the seance
laughed. . . ,
"Spirits ... Damn ~ t are you t h e r e ~ I aske_d.
The spirits were silent, and th1s ttme two ot the guys laughed.
1
didn't know either of the two by name ..
"Spirits ... " I started a gam, but the cup mterrupted me miJ sen
tence. It moved slowly toward the word ws. 1 was sure I didn't
touch the cup with my finger. l wasn't sure about Pecht, and I
was almost sure that Kosta had moved it. The spirit had said res.
1
asked the spirit right aw::ty whether l would get Ana in the sack
1
didn't say it out loud. I thought that if it were a real spirit it
would be enough JUSt to think about the question. 1 was thinking
intensively: Will I get laid by Ana') Will I get laid? and the cup
suddenly started to go toward the word no. For myself, I knew 1
wasn't pushing it there, I even tried to pull it back unsuccessful-
ly. I didn't know about Peda. but Kosta started yelling.
"Where does he think he's going'J! We didn't ask him any-
thing! Either the spirit is fucking with us or one of you is!"
The cup came to the word no. I asked the spirit in my
thoughts: Will she give me a blow-job at least? The cup remained
on the word no.
"Ask the fucking spirit something''' Kosta yelled.
''Spirit, who are you?" Peda asked.
The cup started turning toward the word yes. The spirit was
fucking with us. Or was simply stupid. I decided to call a famil-
iar spirit.
,
166
-----
Marko Vidojkovic:
"Grandpa, answer me," I said suddenly.
Others looked at me like at a cretin, and I winked at them.
"Grandpa, answer me. will ya
1
Are you there'1"
The cup stood still.
"Wait, the cup is on yes. That means he's here," Toza said.
"Or maybe he's not, so the cup simply stays in one place,"
Baki said.
"Or maybe spirits simply don't exist," said one of those
whose name I didn't know.
'Grandpa, if you are there, go to no and back." I said.
The cup held its ground. Grandpa wouldn't talk to me. He
really was a disappointment. I decided to try with grandmother.
"Grandma?" I said.
The cup kept still. Grandma didn't want to respond either.
She was probably. mad at me because of the valiums.
''Fuck grandpa and grandma. We're gonna call Mr. Pera,"
o ~ t a said out of nowhere. The cup started spinning.
"Kosta is pushing the cup. I can clearly see it from here."
Baki said from the floor.
"Is that so? And how clearly did you see when I stuck it into
your mouth yesterday?" Kosta said.
We laughed.
"''ve got an idea," I said. "We'll ask this Pera of yours when
Toza's mother's birthday is. No one of us knows that. That's how
we'll see if someone's pushing."
The cup went to numbers 2, 3, 5.
"What's this?" I asked.
"The 23rd of May. My mother's birthday," Toza said.
We were frozen with fear. Toza and one of those whose
name I didn't know left into another room. Mr. Pera was with
us. I immediately asked him in my thoughts whether I'd screw
Ana. He said no.
"What the fuck is this? This one is going without a question
too," Kosta said.
The Dance of Small-Time Demons 167
---------------------------------
1 lost my nerve. The answers that spirits gave me were not
the ones I wanted. We asked Kosta who Mr. Pera was anyway.
and he said he had been a drunkard from his building whll had
shot himself with a gun last summer when he realized he had
been left without brandy in the house. Pera was a pathetic drunk-
ard who was telling me I would never get laid by Ana. And I
was so ready. I got fed up.
"I give up. Somebody can replace me,'' I said.
Baki replaced me, but then calling spirits turned into a farce.
They asked Pera all kinds of shit. who would screw whom, who
would get rich and go abroad, and Pera didn't make one move.
Kosta tried to push the cup a couple of times. without success.
We could see it because the cup turned upside down.
"You're cheating''' One of those whose name I didn't know
yelled.
"Who's cheating, you motherfucker
1
'
1
Who are you anyway.
what's your name?" Kosta yelled. I wasn't the only one who didn't
know his name.
"Who did you call motherfucker'!" The anonymous face
yelled and got up.
"You, cocksucker!" Kosta yelled and got up. They stood bris-
tled in the middle of my room, looking at each other sulkily. No
one had the guts to start.
"Get your asses up. We're going to Phys Ed,'' I said.
The magic with the spirits didn't last long. It ended with two
wrong answers to two easy questions.
*
The teacher welcomed us to a field near the May 25th swim-
ming pool. He was rubbing his hands.
"That's right, girls, you've come. you've come," he said.
168 Marko
------
We just walked by him and sat on the grass. There were a
few groups from our school, about thirty of us altogether. The
teacher said we'd run 30 meters first, then 800 meters. We had
to get to the finish line to get the D for the end of the year. That
wasn't the agreement. The initial agreement said that we needed
only to appear at one class to get the D. But maybe we were
asking too much from the teacher, or maybe he was asking too
much from us. I was wearing torn denims, All Stars with holes
in them and a worn-out T-shirt. That was the closest to Phys Ed
clothes that l could find at home.
We ran the 30 meters in joy. It was easy to get to the fin-
ish line there. You start running, and you get to the finish. Kosta
even ran backwards, with a smoke in his mouth. To do the 800
meters was not easy, but we set off toward the finish line by
walking, fully aware of our condition. The teacher didn't com-
plain. He stood by the track eating an apple. We were looking at
the cloud of dust in front of us, made by future and
respectable citizens. They were all competing to be the first to
run the 800 meters. The track went in a circle, around the swim-
ming pool and tennis courts. When we got to the tennis courts,
the teacher lost sight of us. We jumped over the fence, and two
or three lit up cigarettes. Some folks were playing tennis, but
when they saw the dust on the court, they stopped playing, and
waited calmly for some wind to blow the dirt away. We crossed
the other fence. We shaved off at least thee hundred meters. We
were again looking at asses of mommy's and daddy's sons who
obediently ran their 800 meters.
"Fucked-up business, ha," Baki said.
"Yeah," I said.
"Yeah," Kosta said and took a smoke.
We reached the finish line seven minutes after the last one.
The teacher then ordered us to go to the gym, to do push-ups,
squat-thrusts, and chin-ups, to throw the medicine ball. Baki, j1
I
I
,.
The Dance of Small-Time Demons 169
--
----------
Kosta, and 1 asked him to let us go home, because we were of
no use to him any more. Our presence would only diminish his
authority. He admitted we'd deserved our Ds and said to us: "See
you next year, boys." We waited for the 24 and got on. It was
early afternoon. It reminded me irresistibly of some of last year's
afternoons. I had corrected the F in Phys Ed.
Dee Dee called me on Friday. He said that the school year
in his school had finished, that he had no Fs and that the next
morning he was to go to his grandparents' in Negotin. I asked
him what the hell he was gonna do there. and he said that
Negotin was the right place to forget Belgrade's bitches. He also
told me he planned on getting drunk with his grandfather and that
his grandmother was going to teach him ~ o m c of the Vlach"
black magic.
"When I learn that. it'll be much easier to deal with some
people around here," he said.
"When are you coming back?" I asked.
"In the middle of August at the earliest, and at the latest,
never."
He asked whether I was in the mood for drinking, and I said
no. I wasn't in the mood. All of a sudden, I didn't feel like drink-
ing any more. I didn't feel like taking alcohol. I didn't feel like
taking medicines. I didn't feel like anything. I wished Dee Dee
good trip. He said he'd take the 10 o clock bus the next morn-
ing. He said that if I wanted I could drop by at the station. I said
I'd try to be there.
On Saturday, I woke around 11. Dee Dee's bus was proba-
bly somewhere near the Lozovicka Cesma motel by that time.
Duke called at 12 and told me there was a big young rock band
festival in the Pioneer Center that day. Something like the one
~
lfl __ , --
170
Marko Vidojkovi{
last year. He asked me if I wanted to go, and I said yes although
there was not one single reason to go. The place was horrible,
reminding of haunting memories. and it wouldn't be any better
this time for sure. These kinds of events were always the same.
destined for disaster. Not one of those twenty bands would appear
anywhere ever again.
In front of the Pioneer Center someone approached me from
the back and put hands on my eyes. Small soft hands. I felt like
taking a shit. I removed the hands from my eyes and, not turn-
ing back, went on to the entrance. The one who was arranging
all those accidental encounters of ours was a damned villain. with
no sense of humor. Ana ran after me.
"What do you think you're doing? Why don't you wanna
look back?" She asked.
"'Oh, that was you? Sorry, I thought it was someone else." l
lied.
Ana probably believed it. People like Ana believed anything
that sounded good to them. She was in full bloom. There was no
bra under her tight shirt. Her tits danced joyfully to the rhythm
of her step. She had flared trousers on her legs. She was accom-
panied by same t\'lO hounds, who walked her to Krsmanac too.
The hounds were trained to wait. They were trained to obey their
master, to love her, and to follow her at decent distance. I was
still better than them. I still went by her side, not behind her.
"You are kind of cranky. First you ran away from Krsmanac
without a word, then you avoided me in the schoolyard for the
whole week, and now you have this frowning face. What's both-
ering you?" Ana was curious.
To fucking hell with you, I thought.
"1992 is simply not my year. That's all," I said.
She hugged me. That was for the audience, we both knew it
meant nothing. The theater of one hug lasted for about two sec-
onds, and then she removed her hand.
The Dance of Small- _ __ _!!__!_
"My friends are playing today," she said pointmg at the shad-
ows who stood ten meters behind us.
"Wow. A success.'' I said.
"You really think that?" She said. ''It sounded cyntcal."
"When was I cynical'! It's a big success to play here. at this
kind of festival. After all. this is the center of Belgrade. there is
Tasmajdan Park. and the church. and the main post office ..
"You are fucking with me then," she concluded.
"Never. You are fucking with me. \\/hat's the name of the
band of your. .. friends?"
"Oh, Breaker Pomts. They play punk, you're gonna l!ke It.
Breaker Points never lived to see their performance in the
Pioneer Center that year. During The Women Legs' Butcher .. :
performance. an unknown fan got on the stage and took off his
pants. His pee-pee was showing. which mack the girls in the
audience scream. Was Ana tooi As soon as Duke and
I carne into the halL I tried to lose sight of her. Two pol ice offi
cers took the fan off the stage, and the party was over hccaw,c
the mob started noting. screaming, throwing bottles at the stage.
and at The Butchers. The Butchers back. More police
came, and in the end the organizer of the festival got up onto the
stage. It was some bearded commie, and he sad that the festival
was suspended until i'urther notice. He ordered the police to
empty the hall. The police encountered an inept resistance, so the
hall was emptied in no time. Some of the visitors sat on the steps
in front of the Pioneer Center and drank. The rest of the crowd
spread out, scattered along Tasmajdan Park. and drank. Duke and
I went horne. I managed not to meet Ana on the way out.
*
The next dav l went to my father's and brought my physics
textbook. Father was the on I y \1 ay out. He got an MA in some
172 Marko Vidojkovii
Inorganic Chemistry; Chemistry and Physics, the same shit to me
Everything was in his hands now.
''What's that book?" He asked.
'A textbook in physics."
'"Why did you bring that here?''
''For you, to teach me a little. She'll give me an F for the
end of the school year, I have to take the exam for a D."
"What's the material you'll be examined on?''
"Everything.''
"Everything?"
"Yeah. I've been getting all Fs all year."
''When's the deadline for ... everything?"
'Thursday. We have Physics on Thursdays and Fridays. I'll
probably have the exam on Thursday."
"Give me that book."
I gave him the book. He leafed it through, lifted his eye-
brows, lowered his eyebrows, biting his lips.
'Three days will do," he said.
He ordered me to come Lo his place after school to give me
lessons for the next three days. He tried to convince me to come
to the flat where he lived with his new family, but I refused. I
said that my concentration would be best in my grandparents' flat.
He didn't complain. He said he'd be there every day from 5 p.m.,
preparing the material we would be covering. Then he brought
out the lunch.
I went to school in the afternoon that week, but already on
Monday I took off after the fifth period and got on the bus. I
was at my father's at six. We studied for four hours, and then he
gave me some sandwiches for dinner and kicked me out. I came
home dead tired. I was in a coma one second later. The next
morning, before school, I was repeating what father and I had
been studying the previous night. I didn't understand a thing, so
I learned all sentences by heart. For someone who had spent two
I
t


t
Dance of Small-Time Demons 173

11 months getting drunk and taking drugs. I was doing fine. I
fu_ ped out at the fourth period and was at my father's by 5 p.m.
:P We studied until ten, then the sandwiches. the bus. and th,
bed:'Jne same scenario again on Wednesday. At !0:15 in the
ening, father looked at me.
ev , . N h ..
"All right, that s It. ow cveryt mg s up to you. God knows
bat you've remembered and what you've forgotten Review a
wl'ttle tomorrow morning and everything will be fine. This matc-
1 "
at is for morons.
0
d d"
"Okay. a .
"And. I beg you. next year don't let yourself wait for the last
week to correct an F in Physics."
"I won't have Physics next year."
"Thank fuck for that. Wanna sandwich'!"
"Definitely:
1 was walking down the st:1irs and the lights went out in the
corridor. I was between the first and the ground tloors. I didn't
wanna go back up to turn the lights on so I started walking down
cautiously, groping at the stairs in the dark. I noticed the shad-
ows of treetops bending in an evening breeze. reaching through
the glass walls of the building. On the glass walls, the shadows
looked like tall women waving their arms, and their shadows on
the staircase looked like drunks trying to climb to the sky. I got
down to the ground floor. I was standing. In the distance, I heard
the sound of someone's TV. Everything else was cloaked in
silence. It was as if the whole of Block 37 kept silent with me,
trying to hear the spring rustling of leaves. I remembered the god-
damned black witch who frightened me a couple of times on the
ground floor and for a moment I regretted not having gone back
up to the first floor to turn on the lights. Then I heard the rustling
of the leaves again, a child's crying in the distance, the sound of
a TV from one of the apartments, and the sound of washing the
dishes from one of the kitchens. I sighed deeply and the air of
174 Marko Vidojkovi<'
---
the last days of spring filled my lungs. I was shaking: 1992 real-
ly wasn't my year.
The next day during physics period. there carne an unpleas-
ant conversation with the teacher. She was givmg final marks.
She called on me.
''F. Sit," she told me.
"How come an F?" I complained.
"And what else would you like when you've got four Fs?'"
''I'd like to take the exam for a D. The whole course." I said.
"Is that so?"
"Yes."
''We can try. You'll be examined today and tomorrow. The
whole period today, and two periods tomorrow. If you don't know
one single question, I'll give you a final F."
"Fair enough.''
She brought me in front of the blackboard. The exammmg
began. Tasks. theory, tasks. When we finished with one area. I
would automatically forget it. I was a damned blockhead when it
came to Physics. And when it came to chicks too. And when it
came to many other things. While the teacher and me were get-
ting acquainted at the blackboard, the class enjoyed themselves.
They sat looking out of the window. I caught a glimpse of Kosta,
who was throwing a lighter at a girl. He hit her above the eye
and cut her by the eyebrow. The blood poured. The bastard some-
how got out without a final F in Physics. No one knew how he
managed that. Out of forty of us, twenty-eight failed in Physics
and were supposed to take the make-up exam. I was trying not
to become the twenty-ninth. 29 was the number of the trolleybus
that went to bad parts of town. When the period was over, the
teacher told me I had done well, and told me I had to be even
better the next day if I wanted a D.
Father called me in the evening to see what I'd done. Mother
answered, told him to go to hell and hung up. She told me he
t"
The Dance Small- Time Demons 175
-------------
had called only two hours later. I called him back and said that
the whole thing was postponed until tomorrow. My old man kept
his fingers crossed over the wire.
The next day. we had the double class in Physics dedicated
to my being examined. I finally got the D. Two seconds later, I
knew nothing about Physics, and if the teacher by some chance
changed her mind and decided to ask me some more
I would end up looking at the floor. l calculated my final grade
result. "Good 2.63 out of 5". That already looked like sornethmg.
1 had my vacation without a make-up exam ahead of me. J was
relaxed for a couple of seconds, and then Ana walked into my
head. She simply walked in and sat down in the central part of
my brain. She wasn't doing anything in my head, she wasn't
screwing with anyone. she wasn't giving anyone a hand-Job, she
wasn't singing, she wasn't dancing, she was just sitting in the
middle of my brain. making me nervous. The situation with her
was complicated, every thought dedicated to her was followed by
deep depression and a headache. My were as always min-
imal, and I could not hope anything would change in our rela-
tionship. She was s1mply a demon, and you know what you
should do with the demons. Murder was the only solution. The
Ana in my head had to be murdered. Or, by some miracle, the
Ana outside my head had to get laid.
*
The last clay of the school year was probably a big deal to
some, but not to me because I didn't even show up. People
phoned to tell me about the kegs of alcohol that got drunk in the
schoolyard and the broken windows and the toilets full of vomit:
they were thrilled. I didn't feel like I was missing anything. It's
not interesting when people behave like rebels on the last day of
school when no one can punish them. Mommy's girls would get
176 Marko Vidojkovic
----------------------------------
drunk on one swig of beer, mamma's boys would break win-
dowpanes and swear at the cleaning women. And throughout the
year. they had sat at their desks. taking the tests, fearing the Fs.
the reprimands, and their own shadows. A raging pest. That was
not where l belonged. Ana called to tell me that it had been awe-
some in school.
"We got drunk, we danced. wow ... " She was saying.
"Great," I said.
"Some guys from group 2 broke all windows in their class-
room. They kick ass."
"Great," r said.
The guys from group 2 had never gone into the schoolyard
during the year. They wouldn't have dared. They'd sat in their
shitty classroom waiting for the next period. Now they broke win-
dows and were kicking ass.
''Why didn't you come? You really are a wussy." Ana told me.
''I am a well-known wussy ."
Whenever I sta1ted with that tone, Ana would get angry. She
could not bear talking to someone who was pissed at her. And I
couldn't talk to her in any other way. She said, "Okay then, I'll
see you," and hung up.
There was a certificate award ceremony scheduled in a cou-
ple of days. Many didn't attend, because they were sent to make-
up exams and their achievement certificates would wait for bet-
ter days. The headmistress was sitting in the classroom at her
desk, and students went inside and took their certificates without
a word. They would not stay for a moment more, they went out
at once. I went inside, took my certificate, and set off.
"Wait. Get back here," the headmistress ordered. I got back.
"What happened to you?" She said. "Last year you were
excellent and now you are hardly 'good'. Last year you looked
like an imbecile and now you look like an absolute idiot. That's
worse than an imbecile, in case you didn't know."
I
~ ......
-rhe Dance of Small- Time Demons I 77
~
"Yeah.''
"Get out of here.'
"Good-bye."
1 set off to the entrance.
"Wait, get back here, .. the headmistress said. l i!Ol back. "!
heard about your two-day exam in Physics. No one has ever man
aged that with Jevrosinn. Good job."
I laughed and went. I met Kosta in the corridor. He just came
by to pick up his certificate. We agreed to meet in the school-
yard. He came after a few minutes, put his ceJ1ificate on the
bench and sat on it. He had no Fs either. He lit a cigarette and
offered me one. I accepted. I smoked half of it, and then I threw
it. I felt dizzy. I felt nauseous. It was morning, about thirty
degrees. Smoking a cigarette would be a piece of cake when I
was dead drunk. and my voice would turn oddly rough in the
moming. Sober, I couldn't smoke. lt was disgusting. Cigarettes
destroyed people. I asked Kosta where he was gonna go when he
finished his cigarette, and he said he'd go to his uncle in New
Belgrade. We set off together. I told him 1 was going to my
father's. I didn't know what to do. There was no school, there
was no Dee Dee, my friends from grade school were not used to
me anymore. I had to get used to them again. and life without
valium. It was much easier with the valium.
Kosta's uncle lived very close to my father. Kosta got off the
bus, and I went on for another stop. We didn't even say good-
bye to each other as he had been arguing with an old woman for
not giving her his seat, and she had begged him to do so for
seven stops. She didn't beg me once. I had my anti-old-women
haircut, my anti-old-men torn denims, my anti-whole-world worn-
out pajama top. I was invincible. I'd see Kosta in September or
I'd never see him again if he got run over by something.
I went to my father's. For no reason. I rang the belL No one
opened. It was Tuesday, 1 p.m. I still felt dizzy from the ciga-
178 Marko VidojkoviL'
rette. I walked outside the building and sat on a flower-stand.
Then the witch came. She sat by my side and was silent. She
looked at me once or twice. but she stayed silent. I stood up and
headed home. The witch remained sitting.
*
I spent the first days of the vacation in total despair. I spent
most of the day lying in bed and listening to music. It was sum-
mt>r outside. it was hot. and I was lying around. f went to Baki's
twice. He failed and had to do the make-up exam in Physics. His
father, mother and s i ~ t r went on the summer vacation. and he
stayed at home to study for the make-up exam every day. The
teacher would come at 4 p.m., take his money and teach him the
samt' stuff my old man had taught me in three days. Thost> cou-
ple of times. we sat on his terrace and discussed chicks.
''Baldy, do you remember that chick with big tits from group
J 0 who failed last year?" He asked me.
"'No."
'And the blond one, with long legs, who came from Croatia?
Thank the war for her."
"No."
"What no?"
''I don't remember her either."
"What is it with you"? You seem to be blown-out somehow."
"People who apply beer to their hair and have no underwear
are fucked during the summer."
Baki laughed. We sat silent for a couple of minutes, and then
he'd start again.
"And do you remember Milica, with the tits?" He asked sud-
denly.
"Many Milicas have tits.''
"You know who I mean."
,..--
J
The of Time Demons
'I dont:
"You know what I've noticed, Baldy'?"
"I don't know that either.''
"I've noticed Dijana Jankovic has her eye on you.''
"Who?"
"Dijana Jankovic."
179
"You are fantasizing, Markovic. Dijana Jankovic is
like the prom queen, and I am the school scarecww. I frighten
away pests from the schoolyard."
"Think what you wanna think, but I've noticed she's got her
eye on you. Shes eating you up with her eyes."
"Maybe she cannot believe how can someone still be alive
who has not taken a shower for so long."
"You are so negative. Baldy. You're breaking my concentra-
tion before class. I'll never pass the make-up exam if you keep
coming with that face and that fucked-up attitude toward the rest
of the world."
"It's not my fault. It's that kind of world," I s:tid and left f(lr
home in ten minutes.
I decided to leave Baki Markovic alone for a \Vhile. He was
the least guilty. I let everybody take a shit on my soul. Some
returned and took a shit on it over and over again.
I was stunned because the school year had ended. All of a
sudden, there was nothing to be done, all of a sudden. there was
this great undeserved freedom that I had never wanted. I was
returning to social life with difficulty. Little by little. I started
going out with Bata in front of the Construction Bureau in the
evening. We sat on the steps. and from time to time Klip and
Hitler would come by. Kuki and Nele came once or twice. They
asked me where the gun was, and I said it was in my tlat at rest.
The truth was somewhere else, because I had lost the gun in one
of my drunken nights. I often lost things when I was dead drunk,
so I lost that gun too. I was left without my weight, and I could
fly away any second.
i80 Marko Vidojkovi(
One day, in the middle of July, Ana gave me a ring.
where are you, Fatty. what are you up to'?''
Fatty was the one thousand and first nickname I had, and she
just made it up.
-rm lving in bed. scratching my balls." I rerorted I was real
ly doing that.
'"Pig.''
'Are you naked?"
"What?"'
"What are you wearing?"
"Boki. what is it with you?"
The old nickname was back.
''Nothing, I'm fucking with you a little. I see, your sense of
humor hasn't improved."
"I've never had the sense for that kind of humor. Where are
ycu, F a t t y ~ We haven't spoken for ages."
My new nickname again. Calling someone with 65 kilos.
exhausted with alcohol and medication, a ''Fatty'' was imbecilic.
'Tm right here. What's up with you?"
'Trn just off to the pooL Wanna come?"
"I hate pools. There are too many children."
r always hear the same shit from you. Why are you so neg-
ative'1"
l was silent for a while.
"Who's going to the pool?" I asked in the end.
"Me and a couple of my girlfriends. There might be some
for you."
Low blow. l should have sent her to hell.
"May 25th. Come with us, come on, come on!"
Never.
"All right Where do we meet?" I asked cursing myself
181
*
May 25th pool was less than a kilometer from my building,
and I was to meet Ana and her girlfriends at the end of the 101.
at noon sharp. It was a boiling day, the weatherman said it"d be
the hottest day in last couple of decades. When you were stoop-
ing in the middle of the helL high temperatures were not rare.
They had forecast forty-three degrees.
I was standing by the bus stop. The air was tlickering, so the
surroundings looked like the end of the world had just started. I
could see the stands of the Youth Stadium in the distance. When
I saw them, I was happy I never decided to be an OFK* fan
when I was a kid. There was not a single man or bus at the bus
stop. No one was stupid enough to wait for some sluts at the stop
to take them to the swimming pool. I waited for forty long min-
utes, and then the bus finally carne. Some twenty people got off.
and four sta11ed over to me. Ana, one unfamiliar girl, another
unfamiliar girl. and some unfamiliar femaie child. Ana embraced
me. Her tits knocked the breath out of my stomach. Then came
the introductions. Ana said that I was Boki, her best friend, and
the girls stood for a couple of seconds confused at my looks of
a young monster. Then they finally approached me.
"Maja, nice to meet you," one said and gave me her hand. I
shook.
"Vesna, nice to meet you,'' the next one said and gave me
her hand. I shook.
"Ceca,'' the kid said. I winked at her, and she hid herself
behind the one named Vesna.
We were walking down the- melting streets for a while until
we got to the bus line that went directly to the pool. The heat
didn't seem to bother the girls at all. They were jumping cheer-
fully, and I was dying. Sweat ran down my crest, everywhere.
In the bus, we sat on the double seats that were facing one
another. Vesna and I sat on one, and Maja and Ana on another.
182
Marko Vidojkovic'
----------------------------
The kid stood hy us. Ana was sitting directly across from me.
She was wearing a tight jeans shorts. The shorts were slipped
over the bathing suit. Her thighs were rubbing against each other
They were completely white. The costume was black, and when-
ever the bus ran over a hole, Ana's left tit would jump. The right
tit was calm, because there was a sack over Ana's right shoul-
der. I was fed up with her tits. I'd love to chop them off and
give them to the dogs for supper. These thoughts introduced some
sunny weather into the gloomy climate that was in my interior. I
laughed. Suddenly. Everybody were surprised.
"What is it?" Ana was interested to know.
''I thought of a joke; I told her.
''Tell us so that we could laugh too," Ana said.
Tm sorry. I've just forgotten it again," I said.
I gave my last money for the pool tickets, and the old fart
at the entrance gave me shit about my looks.
"They you can't," he said.
"Okay, then I'm off," I said and started to go. The old fan
was trying to save me from the claws of the evil.
''Wait, why can't he go?" Ana asked. "Is it his hair?'"
"No, it's not the hair. I've seen worse pieces of on peo-
ple's heads. It's the pissing," the fart said.
''What pissing?" Ana asked.
''He's gonna piss in the pool, I can tell by his eyes. l can
tell a pisser at once. The look of the pisser in the pool."
''You're out of your mind," she said to him.
"Maybe, but he can come in only if he makes a solemn
promise he won't piss in the pool."
''Promise him,'' Ana said to me.
I thought for a few moments. Maybe it was better to give up
at that moment and go home. It was hot.
"i prom1se," I said.
''AI! right, and where is your bathing The fart asked
me.
, .The Dance of Small-Time Demo'!!__ _____________
"I haven't got one," I said.
"So how will you swim?" He asked me.
"I won't swim."
He let us in. Ana asked why I didn't take a bathing suit.
"I already told that old fart. I haven't got one."
"So how will you swim?" She asked me.
"I already told that old fart. I won't swim."
"Then why did you come to the pool with us?''' She started
screaming. She lost patience.
"I guess life is so desperate that it's the best thing I (an do
today."
"You speak like some damned poet.''
"I'd never like to be in the skin ot one uf ...
The pool, just as I feared. was full nf children. The kids \\ere
running to and fro, screaming. failing into water, falling on the
tiles, breaking their noses and heads. We found some empty space
ten meters from the water. The four of them out their tow-
els on the concrete. I didn't have a towel. I sat on the tiles. I
bad a T-shirt, shorts and All Stars on. They started taking their
clothes off, and I watched everyone carefully, except the obvi-
ously underage Ceca. Ceca first waited to where I would
and then she put her little towel as far from me as she could.
Maja looked good. She was very nicely shaped. blond-haired.
Vesna was not that nicely shaped, but her gorgeous face. sur-
prisingly, was fully expressed only when she got into the bikini.
Ana looked the worst of all the three. Her face was distorted; it
outlined the souls of her best friends. Her hody was short, stuffed
with hate and envy. The personification of hell in a sixteen-year-
old girl. She looked worse than most of the at the pool, but
she started jumping and screaming as soon she rook off
184
Marko Vidojkovic'
shorts, so she attracted attention to herself. A couple of guys
came around her instantly, ready to hang around with her for the
whole day. I was convincingly the worst looking of all the crea-
tures at the pool, and I looked even worse than a great many of
the broken plastic chairs on which people sat. I sat on the ground
and looked at what was going on around me.
Ana ran into the adjacent bush with the four fags. Her friends
were not as euphoric as she was. I caught a glimpse Vesna and
Maja sent to each other when Ana ran into the bush. They didn't
go into the pooL they just sat on their towels. Vesna was sitting
next to me. She took out some cards.
"Wanna play cards?" She asked me.
"No, I can't play those games. I am stupid for that.''
"You don't know how to play cards?" Maja asked.
'No." l lied. "You just play, I'll be watching. Maybe I learn
something."
Maja took out a scribble pad from somewhere and a pencil
she would write down digits and marks with. I could play c a r d ~
but I didn't feel like playing any kind of games that day. Maja
and Vesna played and little Ceca ran to play with some children.
Vesna was on a winning streak, probably thanks to her gorgeous
face. Maja was not, probably thanks to her striking body. I sat
among thousand people, feeling utterly alone. most probably
thanks to my torn All Stars. I lay on the concrete, looking at the
blue sky. From time to time, I'd look at the sun and bet myself
how long I could manage to look at it. After all the staring, I
almost went completely blind. People at the pool were blue, and
the water was white. I was laughing. After she lost twice, Maja
went to swim. Vesna and I stayed alone. Ana was still in the
bush with the guys she had just met. It was mainly male laugh-
ter that came from there, and a female howl only now and then.
I could recognize Ana's howling in that great noise. The call of
my master. My eye-sight soon recovered and I decided not to
The Dance of ________ ----- i 85
:.:.:::---
1 k at the sun any more. 1 saw several Gypsies som twenty
away from us. There were seven of them, and two had
;e same haircut as mine. Others were hald. Some had f.arhir,g
rs some All Stars, some Doc Martens. some denims. Puok
SUl ,
Gypsies.
"Who are those masters of the universe')" I asked
''How should I knm\ ?" She said.
After a few minutes, the Gypsies left somewhere. The only
sight at the pool worth looking at was gone.
"Tell me, what is it between you and Ana7" Vesna asked me
all of a sudden.
I was looking at her for a couple of seconds.
"What do you mean exactly?" I asked her.
"I think, what's your relationship exactly? Hmv would you
define it?"
"I wouldn't define it. There's no relationship.'
"How's Aren't you friends?"
''No."
Vesna raised and lowered her eyebrows. She did not tmder-
stand something.
"There was never anything between you two?" She started
again.
"No. There will never be anything between us. Things can
only go downhill with us. The most we had was on the day we
met. Since then there's been less and less of anything between
us."
"Right," Vesna said and started shuffling cards.
I was looking at her for some time. She was really a beau-
tiful girl.
"Why are you asking me about Ana?" I asked.
"No reason."
"You do nothing for no reason. I can tell by the way you
shuffle the cards," I said.
186
Marko Vidojkovi(
"You're full of shit." Vesm1 said.
"'Yeah. especially the day after eating stuffed I can
spend \1 l\\ll hours on the toilet bowL the morning ..
\Ve laughed. Ve.sna stopped shuftling the cards. She put them
into her sack. than she by back and closed her eyes.
'You know what, I think there's something you should know
abc,ut 1\na " She s:tid \1/llh her eyes closed.
'I thmk I know enough," l said looking some children who
v,erc fighting beside the old man at the entrance. The old fart
\Vas looking and laughing.
"May he l should tell you ... " Vesna was persistent.
"Vesna: ! said. "things between Ana and me are so irrele-
lant at this point. that no information would be of any use to me.
r d only get upset for no reason. l know enough about Ana. and
!11) imagination is dirty enough and reaches much further than the
things you gonna reveal Lo 111c ,.
"An: you sure about that'?"
"]f l am sure uhout something, then it\ my dir1y imagina-
tion."
"Okay then."
She turned on her side. Her back was facing me. It was
sweaty. We were silent. Maja came and lay down beside Vesna.
Vesna then turned and her back was now looking at Maja. Her
tits were falling out from her bikini. Her tits were trying to see
what kind of idiot their owner was talking to. I removed my eyes
from her tits toward the sky.
il..rJa came. She was all exhilarated. Her young spirit had no
limits.
'You should see the people I met. They're so crazy, I'll bring
them right now to introduce you."
Again she ran to the bush where her ''people" crouched. Vesna
looked at me. I winked at her and left for home. I passed the old
far1 who saluted me by lifting his left index finger. I didn't salute
back. I stopped for a moment beside the fence that encircled the
pool. I saw Ana with a herd of guys trotting after her. They were
a couple of ye:m older than us. Twenty-three. twenty-tour. Vvhen
she arrived back by her friends. Ana noticed l wasn't there. SLc
asked Vesna something, and she didn't answer. She JUSt shrug!!ed
and turned her back on Ana and her new mate>. Ana ;tood \\"Jth
a serious face lor two sel:onds. then she started bnwKing to the
rhythm of music that was blaring at the pool. The music wa'
lousy. lousy disco. but with the energy Ana had at the moment.
any music was good. I went to the bus. and sat on the i;1-;t
The bus was empty. and the driver was watching n1e in he
rearview mirror lursing the moment I got into his vehicle. Nm1
he had to dri vc in this >even: heat. I looked back at his reame v,
mirror, returning the ,:urses. He started the eng11w. and rwn
of us lurched off toward downtown.
In a few clays Baki Markovic rang to tell me snmeone s
father had died.
"I don't know the guy," I told him.
"What do you mean you don't know, he is in the same class
with us."
"In our class, I know the names of you. Ko>ta. To:.a and
Peda, and I only know the last names of you, Kosta <mel Toza."
"You are just being rude. I cannot accept you don't know the
name of someone who s been in the same class with you for two
years.''
"I couldn't remember the name of a guy who had been in
the same class with me for eight years.''
"Doesn't matter, we should go to the funeral."
"Who?"
"Well. us, from the class."
188
Marko Vidojkuvic
------ ----------------
"At this heat'
7
"
"They'll bury him at Lesce. I hear wind's blowing there all
the time."
Baki told me to come by tomorrow and we'd meet some
other guys he had contacted. Some fathers really died young.
The next clay I showed up at Baki's half an hour after the
:.1ppointed time. He w a ~ nervous.
"Where're have you been so long? We're late'" He yelled.
"Why a ~ you upset'7 That father isn't going anywhere. I still
thmk it's stupid for me to go to the funeral of a man whose son's
name I d(m' t know."
"Tt's the custom, you punk animal. And why didn't you put
on some decent clothes?"
"Oh fuck' I thought I did.''
\Ve sat in a taxi, and Baki told the driver to drive us to the
Youth Stadium. He told him to hurry up because it was either
life or death.
"There's no need to rush," I said. ''It's just death."
Baki had spruced himself up. He put a ton of gel 011 his head,
he put on his most expensive pants and patent leather shoes. The
guy was completely crazy. He looked like he was going on a date
and not the funeral of an anonymous guy. As for me, I was nerv-
ous because the bus for the cemetery started from the same stop
as the 101. Whenever the 101 came to my mind, something
would stan kicking me from all directions. In any case, both Baki
and I were freaked out. I decided to make the atmosphere more
relaxed.
"How's Tanja?" I asked while we were going along Brankova
Street towards the tunnel.
-'Fine," he said gloomily.
"Is she still jerking you off?"
"Yeah."
"Cool."
1
I
I
189 The Dance of Small- Time Demons
= = _ : _ _ __________________ _
Baki was tortured by some heavy troubles. But, the days
when he would confide in me had passed long ago. The guy
probably realized that confiding in me was more useless than
pushing your own shit though the mailbox of a military pension-
er from the first floor.
We got to the Youth Stadium, and there was a select team wait-
ing for us. Toza, Kosta, Pcda, some guys whose name I didn't
know, the president of the class whose name I also forgot in the
meantime, and two girls who allegedly went to the same class
with us. I wasn't a total blunderer when it came to names, but
all the girls whose names I knew missed the funeral. The meet-
ing was really touching. It was after more than one month of the
vacation that we now met again. Pity that one human being had
to die so that we could meet again. None of us had changed. We
got on the bus, and it merrily pushed off to the cemetery. It was
the middle of the week, a working day, heat, and we were the
only ones in the vehicle. Us and the driver.
Lesce cemetery was situated on a hill from where you could
see a good deal of the town. Unfortunately, the part of town you
could see best was the one across the Danube. The view remind-
ed me of Ana. Graves and wreaths reminded me of Ana. Baki
was right, there was a curious wind blowing at Lesce all the time;
it ruined my hair.
We realized we were late. We asked the gray man at the
ramp where the chapels were, and he silently pointed at some
grove of trees. We entered the grove and ran downward. All of
us. Including the girls. The running was followed by savage cries.
The 1990-91 generation of legal technicians was running through
the grove at Lesce. All of a sudden, we ran into a clearing, and
there was the chapel ten meters from us; it was full of people
dressed in black. Kosta and I were the first to arrive in front of
them. We stopped running, we stopped yelling. We stood ten
meters from the chapel, looking at the bereaved. The bereaved
190
Marko \lidojkovic:
were looking at us. I met the look of a woman. who bent her
head and crossed herself. Steps and cries of our friends were
coming from the trees. They ran into the clearing. one hy one.
and came up beside me and Kosta. In a less than a minute. we
were all there. People in black who stood in the chapel were still
looking at us. Finally. one of the shadows stood out and came
over to us. He was from our class. The one who almost got intu
fight with Kosta when we were calling the spirits. His father died
probably. He came to me first. Who the hell would know why?
'Thank you. thank you so much for coming." he whispered.
He held my hand with both of his. He was distressed. I avoided
looking at the man whose father had died, I was looking at my
classmates. They signaled me that I was supposed to do some-
thing. I pulled out my hands from his. and I took the guy by his
shoulders and adche:-sed him.
''Your father died, yes. It happens. Look at it this way. he
died and you remain after him. You are okay. the man did his
job well on the planet. Look m what will remain after my father
goes, and you'll see that what happened to your old man is not
that horrible after all."
I didn't believe a word I said. I didn't believe the guy was
okay at all, I didn't even know him. He might have been a pig,
maybe he ate with his feet, maybe he beat up the neighbors' chil-
dren, maybe he licked his fingers after having scratched his ass or
watched naked women in the neighborhood taking a bath. i
watched naked women in the neighborhood taking a bath. After
all, I was not so convinced that my old man would be the first
to die of the two of us. Somehow, my babbling helped, at least
because the guy stood away from me and went to the others. Then
they went to the dead body that was resting in the coffin; I did-
n't. I remained aside with Kosta, who was smoking a cigarette.
While the priest sang, he was furtively looking at me, my
haircut and my shorts. He prayed that God's rage would get to
/9/
The Dance of ,)'mall-Time Demons
----------- -------------------- -----
me. but this time his prayers were unfulfilled. Priests had no :dc:1
who the best people were. They were lowering the lather into the
grave. and l was lo,lking ch.:ro-,s the Danube int\l the di.-,ta:Jcc \n"
was there somewhere. giving a hand-job to who \vho. Ot
maybe even more. l suspected ';he wasn't a virgin. for some time
now, although on several occasions she tried to convmcc me .'.ht
was. When a person tries to eonvtncc you abuut something. be
sure that the reality is completely opposite. The cemetery always
gave rise to the worst thoughts in a man. I was looking into th, ..
distance. picturing Ana spreading her legs. giving a blow-job to
five of them. getting laid by ten of them. A girl from my class
was standing by my I wanted to push her into the grave.
The priest was watching from a couple f)f meters distance. He
was standing behind the wife of the and was
me a reproachful luok. The priest was readmg my thoughts l
started arguing with him.
What 1 do. Father! Ana is a slut. i thought.
She is a slut. but why are you having that thought at the
funeral uf your friend "s father? The priest turned bark in
thoughts.
That"s not my friend. 1 thought.
You pig, the priest thought.
That"s what she keeps telling me, Father. She is a whore,
Father. She's giving blow-jobs around, she's getting laid, I
thought. I was coming unglued.
What does that have to do with me'' The priest asked me in
his thoughts, looking at me severely.
I don't know, but my head is full of Ana's pictures in vari-
ous poses, with various people.
You've become a prophet, my son. You see things that are
happening somewhere else.
What? She didn't ...
Yes, she did.
192
With five of them?
Yes, yes.
Marko
And that. .. you know ... that from the back ... with ...
Yes, that too ... Especially that, the priest thought.
Ewh, Father, that's terrible!
It is terrible. But even worse is the fact you don't care that
the girl's going astray. You only care about getting to her cunt.
What? Father, what kind of language is that?
You're obsessed with her tits.
I am.
From the very beginning.
That's right.
And her ass too.
And her ass too.
And you'd Jove to lick her. ..
One of the bereaved interrupted the priest's thought. A black-
haired man with the mustache. He wore a black shirt and a black
annband on the shirt. Under the annpits, one coulJ recognize
even blacker stains from the sweat.
"What are you staring at? Let's get out of here," Baki told
me.
We left. I looked at the priest once more. He didn't bother
to take notice of me. He saw me through completely, and told
me things I already knew, but I didn't want to admit them some-
times. That day at the cemetery, everything was more than clear.
Ana was a damned slut, but I didn't care about that, I cared
because the damned slut wasn't sharing with me the things she
had on her menu. She was holding me in the palm of her hand.
I was probably the only living creature that such a scum held in
hand. That meant I was one of the lowest fonns of life that exist-
ed on Earth.
We got on the damned bus and headed home. People were
depressed, very much sickened by the funeral. New Bezanija
The Dance of Small-Time Demons
193
cemetery was much nicer than Lesce. Lesce smelled too much of
death. New Bdanija cemetery reminded people of childhood.
In ten days the phone rang. It was I p.m. and I was in my
standard lethargic condition. I had been awake only for two hours.
and I already felt like going to sleep again.
"Yeah?" I answered it.
"Why didn't you call to wish me a happy birthday?" Ana
said, without a hello.
"Birthday?"
"Yes. Birthday. It was my birthday yesterday. Everyone
called, except you. What's that about?"
"As I recall, you didn't phone me for my birthday?''
"That's different. We weren't that close then.''
"For God's sake, you think we arc dose now?"
"You hate your birthday anyway.''
"As much as I hate my birthday, I hate other people s birth-
days too. Frankly speaking, I even didn't remember it was your
birthday."
"That says a lot about you."
"No, it says a lot about you."
She was silent. She was of two minds about hanging up on
me, but I couldn't care less. If she hung up, she would've lost
her favorite slave. She couldn't let that happen. And I couldn't
let myself go down without a fight.
"Well, we can make up. Come over, and I'll give you a pres-
ent," I said.
"Wow, great. When,
"You can come even today as far as I am concerned."
"I'm leaving in five
!94 Marko V(dojkovi(
Thzll meant she'd be here in two hours. Ana had never heen
to my place. She told rne to wait for her at the bus stop. I had
to think of a present fast. T rummaged through some old boob.
and T didn't find any adequate. I rummaged through the records,
hut then T concluded no one was worth getting one of my records
I thought about writing a cheesy love letter and giving it to her.
hut l didn't find an envelope or a blank shed of paper. I thought
about wrapping my dick \Vith a ribbon and givmg it to her. hut l
didn't find a ribbon. Finally, my eyes landed on the broken stereo
waiting to be thrown out. The stereo was no good from the day
It was bought. It worked me, Jc..:citfully. persistently.
repugnantly. Tt ate cassettes, it scratched records, not one station
could he received on its radio. in the end. I ].._icked its asc;. su it
stopped working totally. Father bought me another stereo The new
stereo was showing signs of behaving like the old one, but for the
time bt:ing. it worked l wiped the dust from the cursed stereo and
decided to give it tel Ana for her birthday. A piece of junk for a
piece of junk. I knew she wasn't on good terms with eb:troniL'.
After my present, she, d be even on worse terms. I even found the
box where the broken stereo was when it was bought. l wiped the
dust from the box and took out some porno magazines I kept
there. I put the stereo into the box, scaled the box with the scotch
tape and wrote on it: To Ana for her birthday, as a of our
everlasting fi'iendship. Boki. I waited for her at the stop. Again
she had no bra. Her tits were bigger than usual. We went along
the street to my building, and people looked at her tits.
"People are staring at your tits," I told her.
"Let them stare," Ana said.
"They seem somewhat bigger than usual.''
"How did you notice that? You look at my tits?" She was
j
acting stupid.
''Whenever I get the chance. Your tits are the
thing on you. Except for your ass maybe."
most precious i
I
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The Dance of Demons ____________ 195
"You pig."
We got into the flat, and I showed her into my room. She
was eager to meet my mother. I wouldn't speak two wwds with
my mother per day, so it was pointless introducing her to any-
one, especially not th1s monster. Ana stretched out on my bed. 1
sat on the floor. I played some music. Something she d never
like.
"Oh, shut up that noise," she was complaining.
"You just listen, after some time you'll start to like it."
I silenced it a bit. One couldn't even notice the difference.
She was sitting and frowning.
"Ana, do you really believe in friendship between you and
me?"
"What kind of question is that? Of course I do. Don't you?"
"Of course I don't. I said what I think of you agc>s ag-o ...
"I thought you got over it."
"No, on the conrrary. Only that remained. I got over the
friendship."
"Oh."
"How can you be friends w1th someone, if you know he cares
only about your ass and tits?"
"Oh."
She was sitting on the bed, looking at me. I was sitting on
the floor, looking at her tits.
"So, what shall we do now?" She asked me.
"Any chance we can have sex?"
"No."
"Very well, then I'll bring you the present, and you forget
what I've been telling you about friendship. You may still act as
if we were best friends. You're such a good actress.''
"You're mean."
I got up and went to the kitchen where the broken stereo sat
in its box. It looked like new. I dragged it to the room.
196 Marko


"Wow. what's that'r My friend was surprised.
''A stereo
"For me'
11
"
"Yeah.''
"I could never accept that.'' she said. hugging it with both
hands.
''Both you and l know I'm gonna give I! to you sooner or
later." I said.
"What was that supposed to mean?"
"I thought the stereo."
We sat for some more time and listened to mustc. After some
twenty minutes. Ana got up and said she'd have to go home. She
asked me to help her carry the huge box to the bus stop. I helped
her. The bus soon came by and drove Ana and her trophy hack
home.
The s:Jme evening the phone rang. I was just getting ready
to go down to the Construction Bureau. where my friends prob-
ably waited for me.
"Yes
7
"
''What's this that you gave me'?!" Ana screamed.
"What do you mean?"
''It's not working."
"Not working?"
''The stereo is not working. Your fucking stereo is not work-
ing. I dragged it like an idiot on the bus. people were laughing
at me. and it's not working."
"That's impossible. It's a brand new stereo.''
"It's not, it's not new. It has scratches. lt looks liK.e some-
one's been kicking it!''
"Maybe the workers in Korea, while they were building it.''
i
I
,,
,..,
The Dance of Small-Time Demons 197
You fagl Fagl''
"Ana, wait. That must be a minor damage. I'll come to your
place to repair it.'"
''Come at once!''
"At once, at once. just give me the address."
She gave me the address. I didn't write it down. I went out
of the flat, got in the elevator. I saw a spider in the elevator. f
spat at it, and it started running in terror. Before I collected
enough material to spit at it again, the spider ran into some hole.
I got out of the elevator.
I crossed the street. I wouldn't think of gomg to Ana's place.
Klip, Hitler, and Bata were sitting on the steps.
''Where've you been. Kangaroo?" Hitler told me.
"What?"
1 said: 'Where've you been, Kangaroo'.''"
"Why kangaroo?" I asked.
'"I've no idea, Kangaroo."
The one thousand and second nickname I gm. Another one
appeared just like that. I was a human scrap. burdened with a
heap of nicknames and a pair of tits.
"Where've you been?" Bata asked me.
"I had a problem."
"What kind of problem?"
"Technical kind. Everything's fine now."
I sat on the steps with them. It was summertime. The street
was almost empty. Now and then a red accordion bus would roar
by.
*
Another few weeks passed and Ana didn't call. She was
offended. Humiliated. No one but two of us knew about it, and
that was what actually hurt her. Things had changed in our rela-
198
Marko Vidojkol'ic
tionship. We became equals. I could hurt her now. I was leading
our private war in a grand style.
One day we went to Ada beach to play five-a-side st:<Ln
Bata. Duke. Duke's classmates, Bata's classmates and I. I suchd
at soccer, but I was attractive to a certain degree because of my
crazy looks and aggressive play style. I'd run the field after any-
one from the other side who had the ball and kick him in the knl'e.
When I grabbed the ball from someone, I'd just kick it and wait
for tQe next challenger who would get it. My team would always
lose. We lost all the games that could be lost, we even lost the
one against grade school kids, who set up their team on the spot.
We were all good-for-nothings, but there was no humiliation as we
substituted the lack of technique with brilliant character. After sev-
eral hours of play, the character was crushed, so we went home.
As the plan for that evening was like for any other, Bata
came to town with me. We were supposed to sit in front of the
Bureau. We rode in the overcrowded 23. Peopie stank of cheese.
Their sweat stank of cheese. It had been on their clothes for days
before they got on that bus. When we got off the vehicle, the
day was at its end. The sun was beating on our backs while we
were going down 29th November Street. The air smelled of the
nearby beginning of the school year. Summer vacation always
passed quickly, especially if you spent the whole time in
Belgrade. There were just a few weeks until its end. I couldn't
count on my fingers the things that had happened to me in the
previous month and a half. We got to the Construction Bureau,
and Bata started to go toward the steps.
''Wait,"' I said. "Let's go to my place first."
"Why?" Bata asked.
"I have to make a phone call.''
Bata sat in my room and played some music, and I dragged
the telephone in the bathroom. I dialed Ana's number. Ana
answered.
The Dance of Small-Time Demons
"Hello," she responded.
"Ana," I said.
---
"Oh, it's you," she concluded coldly.
"What's new? How's the stereo?" I asked her.
199
"Go to hell, you fag. The stereo is broken, and you didn't
come that night.''
"No. You know why?"
'"No."
"I didn't come because you, Ana, are a fucking whore.''
"What?!"
"You are a fucking whore who sucks dicks and gets fucked
in the cunt and ass, in the bush. in the field, everywhere."
"What are you saying? Don't talk to me like that. I'll get
mad."
"You can get mad as much as you like. whore. You're a
whore, whore, whore. You are evil."
"Me evil? And what are you?"
"I am an evil man, and you are an evil whore. That's much
worse.''
"What is it with you suddenly? Why are you talking to me
like that?" She said. trying to break into tears. They didn't come
easy.
"It's not suddenly. You've been playing around with me for
one year already. Whore."
"What? I've been playing? What drives you to be friends
with me? What drives you!?"
"Your tits and your ass."
"Fag!"
"Whore!"
She was sobbing. I could clearly hear it. She wasn't sobbing
because of sorrow, she was sobbing out of hate.
"Listen, whore, don't you ever call me again. Don't you ever
think of me again. Don't you ever go out in the schoolyard if l
am in it."
200 Marko Vidojkovic:
'"You'll pay fm this, I swear. I've got powerful she
was sobbing.
'"Your friends :1re in the bush. Waiting for you to go there
and give them blow-jobs. They wouldn't waste their time with
me.
'You'll pay, you'll. .. "
I hung up. I went out of the bathroom and brought the phone
back into the room. Bata was sitting on my bed. listemng to The
Ramones.
''Let's go downstairs.'' l told him.
"Is everything all right?" He asked me.
'"Yep."
"Why are you grinning?"'
'Because everything is all right."
*
The make-up exams were scheduled for August 27th and
28th. Some harmless subjects were on the agenda for the 27th:
Math, History. Latin; Physics was on the 28th. A million students
failed in Physics. so the one whole day was dedicated to the
make-up exam on this subject, and the subject was divided into
several oral and written parts and would last from eight in the
morning until five in the afternoon.
I didn't wanna go to school on the 27th. I went to school on
the 28th. Fellow brothers in peril needed support. On the corner
of Palmoticeva and Lola Ribar Streets, right next to The Pickle,
I bumped into Dijana Jankovic. She was crying. Her eyes were
framed by black color, and now it was all running down her
cheeks. When she saw me, she embraced me. Her tits stuck
against me. They were smaller than Ana's. The hell with Ana.
"What is it?'' I asked her.
She was weeping on my shoulder.

I -
i
The Dance (If Smail- Time Demons
201
We stood like that, and she was trembling. The more shr
trembled the lower my hands went. Toward her ass. Not inten-
tionally, 11 was one of the nf physics, say. the law of
vity. When they reached the upper pan of her ass, my hands
stopped. The ass's slope prevented them. Another law of physics.
Her ass was big and firm. Her ass better than Ana's. l felt
an erection starting. so l had to move awa:v.
What is it') Why arc you crymg'
1
"
"Nothing," she bawled. nothing."
Dijana Jankovic was wearing some hippie dress. all the way
down. Her cleavage reached her navel. and from there a shoelace
criss-crossed and ended at a tied bow at the very top of the cleav-
age, just above the tits. The bow \vas very stiffly tied so that
everything was falling out. Indeed, there was a bra underneath the
dress, but nevertheless I had a sudden urge to pull the bow
that everything came untied and I could start biting he1. I admit-
ted to myself that Dijana Jankovic looked smashing. I didn't look
smashing. I looked at The Pickle window. It was the place where
I used to sit once at half past one, waiting for my Toilet
paper, toilet brushes, and toilet bowl cleaner were still there. My
face, all in acne, reflected in the window behind them. An
unknown stain appeared on my shirt. I fingered the stain. It was
wet. Dijanas tears and Dijana's make-up.
"Come on, let's get out of here. What's the use of crying in
the middle of the street'?'' I said.
I took her by her hand and led her down Palmoticeva Street.
We came to the entrance of a building. There was a step in front
of the entrance. l sat on the left end of the step and told Dijana
to sit on the right one. She sat. She calmed down a bit. She told
me a heartbreaking story about her best friend who was almost
beaten to death by some local thugs while he was at his grand-
mother's in the country. Now he was lying in the Clinical Center
in Belgrade, half dead, in a coma. There was not much hope. She
202 Marko Vidojkovi(
------
had left for school, and on the way her best friend came to her
mind, and she started crying. And then I came by. Again a best
friend. They all had best friends. I bet that one had an irresistible
desire to bite her ass. just like me now. That's why he was dying.
"Poor Miki,'' she said.
"Right."
we were so close." she said.
"Right."
"What should I do now?" She asked.
"Nothing. Wait until he dies. You have to look at it like it
was a bad movie. Best friends die in bad movies so that the main
character gets the spotlight."
''Who's the main character in my movie")" She asked.
""Me."
She looked at me and started laughing. I always knew how
to get someone laugh and lift up from the dead. I was a mixture
of Jerry Lewis, Jesus Christ, and Ante Pave lie*. Dijana laughed.
and at one moment, because of the many vibrations and very tight
bow on her cleavage, her bra unbuttoned
oops. damn it," she said.
"What is it now?"
'The bra unbuttoned.''
How the hell can that happen?'' I asked, young and stupid.
"It can, if you have the bra that buttons from the front."
When she said it, I lowered my eyes, by reflex. to the part
in the middle of her tits. Below the lace, there was nothing. The
ends of the bra flew everywhere. I had a hard-on in a second.
The situation was even more uncomfortable because of the draw-
ers I started wearing during the summer. They pinched. I put my
hands in my lap and tried to think about my bad childhood. But
my childhood wasn't bad. I had toys, I messed around in kinder-
garten and stole children's shoes, messed around in grade school,
got As, and got to hang out after school. My childhood was a
~
~
I
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The Dance of Small- Time Demons 203
-- -------- --------------
fairytale. It was getting stiffer. At one point, Dijana stood and
said she was going to the entrance behind our backs. to button
up her bra. To do thaL she needed to enter the building. unlace
the lace, take off the upper part of her dress, and then button the
bra. That meant that at one moment she'd be standing, one meter
away from me. naked up from the belt up, with tits awaiting my
teeth. Good Lord. I stood up. In less than a minult' she walked
out. She was quick.
'"Everything is okay. Lefs go to school," she said.
"Why would you go to school? You have tn take a make-up
exam?"
"No, some of my friends failed, so I'm going to keep them
company."
We were going to school, and Dijana was holding me by the
hand. She thanked me for help and the consolation l gave her.
Women were scum. One lousy remark out of a pimply mouth and
the best friend could die. Best friends had always got the fucked
end of the stick.
She stopped a couple of meters from school to check her
make-up. She stooped and looked at her face in a car's side mir-
ror. Her ass was a few centimeters away from me. It was beau-
tiful. Her waist was a little further. It was beautiful. The outlines
of the panties could be seen through her dress. She had on
panties. If, for some reason, she didn't have them, she'd cause
the end of the world. I felt a lot going on in my pants. so I
moved my eyes off her ass. She was fixing her make-up. I caught
her left eye in the mirror. It looked at me and winked. I was in
love. She straightened up, took me by hand, and we started for
school. We got into the building holding hands, causing some
scattered applause and some shouts of disgust and disappointment.
People were horrified. The school beauty was holding hands with
the school beast.
204 Marko \'idojkovic'
Dijana ran somewhere to keep her girlfriends company.
stayed in the yard. Toza was there as well. He came to me.
''What does that holding hands mean?" He asked me.
11 mean> that she wants my meat inside her."
come on, Baldy. don't bullshit. 1 ask you seriously."
''I'm telling you seriously.
"Good luck then," he told me.
The physics teacher staged a massacre at the make-up exam.
She flunked t\vu from my Tht:y faikJ the )tar.
Physics made them start the second year all over again. Lucky
them. Baki Pecta passed, Pipce passed. and the guy whose
father died passed. I guess there was no one at home to nag him
about studying, so he sat and studied. Baki left the classroom. He
was happy, he was beaming, he was dead tired. She kept him
there for four and a half hours.
congratulations. Einstein." I told him.
"Fuck you, Baldy. It was tense.''
"Well, everything's okay now," I said.
"Yes. But I wanted to ask you something. What is it between
you and Dijana Jankovic?"
"What?''
"f hear you came to school together holding hands."
''How could you find out about that from that hell?''
"Hey, Baldy, what do you think f am? You were holding
hands, huh?"
"You know it yourself, my friend. Holding hands brings
much more bad than good things.''
'Baldy, I told you about that Dijana ages ago. I have a nose.''
"Don't talk crap. She's my best friend."
Baki shrugged.
The Dance of Small-Time e m m ~ ~ ~ ______ }_'!Y__
The next day phone rang.
"Yes?'' I answered.
*
"Good afternoon. I need Bohan,'' a female voice said.
"If you need this Bohan, you'd better kill yourself right
now," I said.
The female voice was silent for a while.
"Is that 984-4221 ?" She finally asked.
"Yes, it is," I said.
''Bohan, is that you?" She asked.
"Yep."
"It's Dijana.''
I hung up. I got fidgety. i got up. sat down. lay down. got
up, sat down. The phone rang again.
''Why did you hang up on me?'' Dijana asked.
"Oh, no, no, something broke, I said.
''It didn't. I heard when you hung up 011 mt:."
"You are paranoid."
''You hung up on me."
"Where did you get my number?"
''Bojan gave it to me:
Bojan was Toza's given name. No one knew why we called
him Toza. Dijana asked me how I was doing and how my class-
mates made out \Vith the make-up exam. I asked her how she was
doing and how her classmates made out with the make-up exam.
One good friend of hers failed the year.
Dee Dee called me that night. He had come back to Belgrade_
We met the same second. We sat on the steps in front of the
Construction Bureau.
206 Marko Vido/kovi(
--- ~ ~ ~
so this Dijana called you'?'' He asked_
'Yeah. You should sec the ass she's got." l said.
""Is there anything else but the ass'J"
"Oh. there is. There are a couple of things ...
"So. what are you going to do'
1
"
'Nothmg That's the only thing that l am good at."'
Klip and Hitler soon came by. They sat beside. Dee Dec v.as
a little surprised that they were coming to sit on the steps. hut !
didn't hother explaining. There was nothing to explain really.
We were sitting for some time. and then we heard music. The
mus1c was commg from above_ I thought fur a second that God
decided to come down and gather us unto him so that we slwuld
not dirty h1s life's work anymore. but the music was too lousy.
even fpr God. We were looking around. and then Dee Dec looked
::t Kuk i 's tetTace _
Those ,uckers are celehrating something: he said and pomr
eel ir. that direction.
There were several people on Kuki- s terrace and a fev. 'ilali-
o w ~ could be seen in his apartment. That was where the music
was coming from.
"They're celebrating the beginning of the school year." I said.
"They're celebrating the beginning of the fall," Hitler said.
''The fall hasn't begun yet,'' I said.
"You think they know that?" Hitler said.
Haler knew about Kuki and Nele. We all knew about Kuki
and Nele and some other guys who hung around With them. They
were the good guys. Really good.
'Let's go upstairs," I said.
"How'! We are not invited," Klip said.
''They're my friends. You'll see they'll be thrilled when the)
see us.''
We rang the intercom. Under Kuki's last name. Kukic.
Someone answered.
The Dance of Small-Time Demons
207
"Who is it?" He said, and there was a music in the back-
ground.
"More guests! Open up
1
" I shouted.
There was a buzz, and I pushed open the door. We m.
We climbed to Kuki's floor and barged into the flat without
knocking. Kuki, Nele and a couple of others really were happy
to see us. I recognized some of the guys who had wnrn masks
on that spring day, ready to go up against my blocked gun with
their sticks and chains. They too were truly thrilled with our
arrival. The entertainment had anived. The gun was left some-
where in the pasl. We what the reason of the .:clcbratiuri
was, and Kuki told us there wasn't any particular n;ason. tllilt
they organized a party just like that. They knew how to live.
The other were not so thrilled with our arrivaL Wilen
we showed up in the living room, every comersation stopped,
just the music remained. We stood in front uf ihc sofa where a
guy and a chick were sitling. We turned to them. fhcy got up.
we sat. The guy and the chick left the iiving rot>m, followed by
five or six people. The remained. sitting, resolved not to
let the four freaks ruin their evening. I grabbed th? tray with
sandwiches and started devourmg them. r passed it to my friends,
and they finished it off in two minutes flat. Peslilencc. The party
was non-alcoholic, so we were forced to drink juice. We didn't
bring the booze with us. and the medications were gone long ago.
I remembered the party at Goran's.
"Maybe there's some booze on the terrace," I said.
"Where did you get that idea?" Dec Dee asked.
"At this kind of parties, the booze is always on the terrace.
That's one of the wisdoms of life.''
We went out to the terrace. We searched its every nook ancl
cranny, but there was no booze.
"Feel free to throw your wisdom of life from the terrace,"
Dee Dee told me.
208 Marko VidojkoviL:
--------------------------------=-----
I shrugged. I was looking in the living room. After we desert-
ed the room. the guests started coming back there again.
"Why don't you take a piss on the terrace?" Hitler asked me
suddenly.
''What?"
'Why don't you take a piss on the terrace? I heard you piss
on terraces at parties: he said.
'Yes. I used to do that. But I was dead drunk then. I'd have
to be completely crazy to take a piss on the terrace now."
''You won't take a piss on one stinking terrace?!" Hitler
exclmmed.
"It's not that I won't, it's just not normal to take a piss on
a man's terrace when I am sober. Why don't you take a piss if
you care so much?" I asked him.
"I dPn't have the reputation of taking a piss on terraces,"
Hitler said.
come on, take a piss," Dee Dee said. turning to me.
''What is it with you suddenly?" I asked him.
''What does it matter? Take a p i s ~ . Dee Dee said.
"You're out of your mind," I said and went to the corner of
the terrace. I unzipped my fly and took a piss.
''Here. Was that interesting?" I said.
"Wasn't bad," Hitler said.
'If he took a piss. I'll take a shit," Klip said suddenly. We
all looked at him.
'What did you say'?" Dee Dee asked him.
''If he took a piss on the terrace, I'll take a shit. Why am I
worse than him?"
"Who "aid you were worse than him? No one said anything
about you," Dee Dee said.
"He turned out to be some kind of hero for taking a piss on
the terrace when he was dnmk. See. I never drank. I'll take a
shit on the terrace sober."
i
I
,I
_jj
p
The Dance of Small- Time Demons 209

'You're nuts," I said.
''That\ one of the options ... Klip "Turn round. I don :
want you look at me while I'm taking a 'ihir.
We turned round. I stood with my face turned rmurJ the li 1-
ing room. One girl tried to come our onto the terrace. bll! I
chased her away. We were standing in the corners of the terrace.
Klip was taking a shit in the corner where I had just taken a
I was looking at his reflection in the window pane. He \vas JUSt
standing there. with his arms spread a little. His eyes were fixed
at some spot thirty centimeters left of my head.
what are you doing?" I asked him. "Cheating'
1
"
"What do you mean?'' Klip asked.
"Well. that's not taking a shit. That's standing with your arms
spread and with blank expression on your face."
"But I am taking a shit," Klip complained.
"I don't believe you," I said to him.
-you don't believe?"
"Nope.''
''Well now you're gonna see," Klip said.
He started unbuttoning his belt. When he unbuttoned the belt.
he unzipped his fly. When he unzipped his fly, he stuck his hand
in his underwear and took out something from there. I didn't wait
to see what it was. I ran from the terrace. Dee Dee and Hitler
ran after me. People were watching. We ran in the hallway.
"He's completely crazy." Hitler said.
"All that is because of you two," I said.
"What? How do you mean because of the two of lJS?" Dee
Dee complained.
"If you didn't push with the pissing thing, he wouldn't have
shit his pants on the terrace."
Kuki came to us at that moment.
''What's up, guys?"
"Everything's great, great." I said.
210
Marko
--------
"I know you arc used to something much crazier than
Still, there it is."
oh no. the party is great. great. It's crazv enough." I con-
vinced him.
Kuki joined other guests. Some girls wanted to go from the
kitchen to the living room. To do that. they'd have to pass
through the hallway. We were standing in the hallway. They went
back in the kitchen. Klip came by in the meantime.
"Don't come near us, shitass," Hitler said.
"What is it with you?" Klip complained.
"Whei e 's your shit?" I asked him.
''I left it on the teJTace.''
"What about the underwear?" I asked.
'Shitted." he answered.
"Ynu cannot come near us until you wash your hands." Hitler
said.
At that moment. some guy was trying to push his way into
the kitchen. He was squeezing between us.
"Hey. nice tie." Klip said and held the necktie with the hand
he had held his piece of shit only three minutes before. The guy
smiled and went on.
"No more of that,'' I complained. "You're spreading your shit
around Kuki's flat and Kuki's guests. Go wash your hands, now!''
Klip went to the bathroom. He left the door open. We saw
him touching the mi1ror and the towels with The Hand. Damned
lunatic. Then he finally turned on the faucet and washed his
hands.
"Once again!" We yelled. He \Vashed them once again.
When he finished with his personal hygiene, he started wip-
ing his hands with the towel he had just touched with The Hand.
"No, no!" We yelled. "Not that towel!"
He gave up wiping his hands with a towel. He combed his
hair with fingers and came out of the bathroom.
f
I
The Dance of __________________ 21 !_
"Where is Bata? Why hasn't he come to the Bureau, .. Klip
asked. We went to the kitchen.
*
There was a phone in the kitchen.
''Let's abuse someonl' ." Hitler -,aid. "Let\ call R(lsll!aih ilnd
Croats.''
"That's boring." l said. ''We've already clone that. berynne
sent me to hell."
"Why don't you piss in one of the bottles of hooze'
1
" De,'
Dee told me.
"What'
1
''
"Well, you used to do thJt at parties. You in the fJLlt-
tlcs of booze. and then guests drank from those lwttles. They
thought it was the hoozc inside. and they drallk the cock1ail. The
booze and your piss.''
''I don't remember that."
"Take my word for it," Dec Dee insisted.
''Whatever. T won't piss any more. My tank is empty." I said.
"I will take a piss if you need me to.'' Klip said.
"Let's fuck with someone over the phone," Hitler said. "We
don't have to call Croats, we can call someone else."
"Wait, wait, I've just got a great idea." I said.
I gave Hitler the instructions. I asked Kuki whether he had
another phone in the flat.
"I do. What do you need it for?"
''Bring it here. We have to call someone.''
"Can't you call from that phone?"
"Hitler will call from that phone. and I'll be listening on the
other one," I said.
"You're not gonna call America, are you?" Kuki feared.
"No. Just Padinjak."
212 Marko Vidojkovic'
I: v. as :v. cnty minutl's past midnight. The phone rang some
twenty time-;, and then finally someone answered.
H e l l o ' ~ ' A drowsy male voice said.
''Good evening,'' Hitler said.
"Who are youJ" The voice said.
"It doesn't matter right now. Ana is not home, nght'?"
''What'J Who are you?"
"Ana is not home, right?"
"I have no idea.''
J explained to Hitler by mimicry that it was probably her
father who answert>d the phone.
"You are her father')" Hitler asked him.
"Yes," the man said sleepily. \Ve wok.e him from the sweet-
est dream.
"That's great. You're the one ! need."
'Why'' Why'
1
''
"J have to tell you some things about your daughter."
"What things'' What happened?!" The dad was totally awake
in a second.
"Do you know where she is now?" Hitler asked him.
"No. Where is she?!" Ana's father was a driver of a refrig-
erator truck.
"She's fallen into some really bad company."
"Really?"
''Yes. They hang out at a place in Krnjaca. almost every
night.''
"Really?"
''Yes. They sit there almost until mornmg. Getting drunk,
doing drugs, having group sex ... "
'WHAT!?"
"Group sex.''
The Dance of Small-Time Demons
''Ana? Group sex
0
Doing drugs?"
"Yes, I see you've got the picture."
"Wait."
213
The man left the receiver and went somewhere. Soon he
carne back. c
"Really, she's not here: the father said.
"Well, I told you."
''And who are you? Why are you telling me this?"
"You know, I once belonged to that crowd. I barely got out
of there. Your daughter could have turned into a great girl. and
now she's turned into a drug addict who spreads her legs in the
air."
''Spreads what?!!"
"Her legs in the air."
'Til kill her, I'll kill t h e m ~ I'll kill them with a gun! No, I'll
kill them with an ax. Where's that house? Tell me
1
!! SPEAK!''"
"Oh, no, no, that wouldn't be good," Hitler said, realizing the
things had gone the wrong way. l w ~ sending him signals to
calm down the old fanatic.
"And what would be good? What the fuck would be good!?
My child is a hooker!"
"No, wait, easy, she's only having group sex, that's not. .. "
"Only?!"
"Listen, sir. . .''
"ONLY?!''
The father hung up on him.
"Maybe we went too far?" Hitler asked.
"Call him back right now. Restrain him. Don't let him go
roam the houses in Krnjaca and kill everything he sees
1
" I said.
Hitler dialed Ana's number again. Klip and Dee Dee asked
what was going on, because they only heard Hitler's side of the
dialogue. I told them that Ana's old man had gone mad and
decided to go on a killing spree. Hitler got the connection again.
.....
214 Marko
-------. -----
"WHAP
1
'
1
" The father shouted.
"Hello, sir. wait just for a second. I've got a suggestion.
"What'
11
"
''It's best that you put down your weapons and wait for your
daughter to come home."
"What? Well, I"ll kill her when she gets back!"
''No. no, don't kill her. You don't want your daughter to die.
You want her to become a respectful citizen. a mother. a busi-
ness woman. a minister."
'A secretary would be good enough."
"Okay, a secretary. How is she gonna became a secretary it
you ki II her?"
1 don't know."
"She won't become a secretary. bt>cause she'll be dead.
Therefore. don't kill her."
"All right. I'll break her bones
"Don't break her bones. Maybe she won't be able to type on
a typewriter. How will she become a secretary then?"
'Then she can become a clerk in a boutique!"
''Err... It's best that you get some newspapers... Which
newspapers do you read?"
"Express."
"That's not thick enough. Take two issues, yesterday's and
the one from the day before and then ... "
"I can't use the one from the day before yesterday. I set the
garbage bin with it."
"Doesn't matter. take any two issues of E-xpress, fold them
up and put them under the water. When your daughter gets home,
beat her up with the wet newspapers on her legs, bottom and
back."
"Yeah. And?"
"And leave her alone then. That will be enough. She's young.
being beaten a little won't hurt her."
F
"Yeah.''
''Did you understand me?"
"Yeah."
"You won't kill anyone'?"
"No."
"Or break any hones?"
The father was silent for some time.
"No."
"Okay. then everything is settled. Goodbye."
"Wait. .. young man ... "
"Yes?"
"Thank you very much. You're an honest boy, full marks to
you! My door is always open to you if you need anything."
''Thank you. sir. I'm doing this for your daughter. I didn't
want to watch her sinking."
"At least tell me your name so that I know \vhose candle I
light in church every Sunday.''
"You can call me ... Mussolini."
"Thank you. Mussolini ."
"You're welcome. Good night.''
Hitler saved Ana's life. I didn't have a clue where she went
out in the evening.
*
When I got home, I found a small note on my bed.
Some Dijana called you. She said to kiss .vou on her behalf.
Call her and tell her not to say such stupid things again. Mama.
I took one of the kitchen chairs out on the terrace and sat.
It was around three in the morning. I was looking at the dark. I
was looking at the Pancevo bridge. The lights on its poles were
still yellow. I looked at the dark, which covered the left bank of
the Danube. and, as always happened at that sight, I had a chill.
216 Marko Vidojkovic
Beyond the Danube, there was absolute darkness. Only in the dis-
tance one could discern the lights of Krnjaca, Kotel., Borca, Ovca.
Padinjak. and other corners of hell. The cries of night birds came
from the dark. The northwestern wind brought the stench of stag-
nant water. Some would say it was the smell of the river. Ana's
father was s1tting somewhere, in one of those tiny, distant, shim-
mering lights with wet newspapers, waiting for his daughter to
come home. Dijana was asleep under one of the darkened Dorcol
lights. With her ass and her tits. And in her closet, probably sat
her bra that unlaced from the front, asleep too. Dipna showed a
strange closeness to me. I also felt something strange about her,
which might simply be my wanting to bite parts of her body. She
was gorgeous. Some time ago, she was repulsive. Fucking hor-
mones worked perfidiously, with no announcement, without any
sense. I could not allow myself another Ana, and everything
reminded of that. Dijana's euphoria, Dijana's kisses in cheek,
Dijana's holding hands. She probably kissed and held hands with
that best friend of hers who was dying in a Belgrade hospital.
The position of best friend was available. Waiting for me. This
time I should not give in, this time I should start with a frontal
attack. As soon as the school year started, I would deal with her.
The school year was to start in two days.
I was looking at the adjoining buildings. Most of the apart-
ments were covered in darkness, but there was a bright light com-
ing from one of the windows. It was a four-storey building,
across from mine. I knew that window. It was the bathroom win-
dow. Where the lights were always on. For the last ten years.
Whenever I got home, no matter what the time was, the lights in
that bathroom were on. The same three people always went to
that bathroom. A woman, a man, and an old woman. They took
turns the whole night, every night, for ten years. They went into
the bathroom, and did the laundry, did the laundry, did the laun-
dry. The old woman was now standing in it. Doing the laundry.
I was in love. I spat from the terrace and went to sleep.
I
I
I
I j
I
I I
ll

Glossary
Branko Kockica
Branko Milicevic. For almost
lar children "s TV in
Kockica.
"Brotherhood and unity"
liill"l\' \:;n, f!f>,Hd [1 .. 'iii
'"''Pl 'l 'r':; . : '. 'i
during the communist ruk in ;_
Burek - a kind of grL'aS) ik ,;tiJc
Chetniks - Serbian paran.:li1 !r: l'llJ!. ";
1\1'
J:j._' i'.
a nationalist and royalist n,,., . J,J:,-.:. ,., ll!l ,ft.,_, ,!
they were fighting against ! :.:; l : . :, p:,t::,.tn
only.
Colo-Colo a Chilean sth ..... :r ,iuh. pl<i\.:d n t:,,_
Intercontinental Cup against Rui Sta1 iL J ()':J i
Dieselheads - synonymous for pcopk lacking taste .. nd insi'
manners. The appearance uf d:esd/w,u/, ts ph ..
nomenon that comes along with the Jf new trcmh: anLl dh
tortion of all values during the lSl90s 111 Serbia. They must
recognized as wearing gold chains around thl'ir necks. cxpen.:n
sneakers on their feet. and swearers tucked into thei1 high-r;uscd
jeans, usually of Diesel brand. after \\hich they took their uanlC
Doppio Rhum and Doctor Salasso are characters !rum H:e
Italian comic strip Capitan Miki. The main character's
often drunk on rum.
r
I
l/8 A1arko \'idojkovic'
Loan for Serbia action for "rebirth of Serbw" from 1989
i <J'J I. One of the the former regime in Serbia
'.H'd lt, t;tkt' nlonc: from its citizcrh on thr pretext thev were
i;<.:.lping tht country revive itself. It proved to be yet another fraud.
Nusic, Branisiav ( I 038) - St>rbian playwright. known
i'or his that are quite often performed in Serbia s the-
OFK a Belgrade soccer dub.
Partisan sporh and soccer club in Belgrade
Partisans - guerilla soldiers. in WWII. with communist lean
;ng:,. Led bv T:to.
Pavelic, Ante ( 1889-1959) - Ustasha leader and founder of
'"independent'' Croatia under Nazi rule.
Pre-period - an hour before normal classes in schools begin.
tlstd to ensure completion of the curriculum.
Red Star -- Belgrade sports and soccer club. rival to Panisan.
Sampdoria - Italian soccer club.
SCC J,h!tvi:ition f,)r the Students. Cultural Center
Three Finger Salute - Traditional Serbian greeting, hail.
Trolleybus - A form of public transport in Belgrade. A bus
that goes on electricity.
Ustashas paramilitary in Croatia. in power during the
!'\;ui rule in Croatia (1941-1945). Responsible for numerous war
cnmes, includmg mass murders. and organizing concentration
, for Jew;. Serbs and Gypsies.
\'lachs ... p.;:-.1ple inhabiting eastern parts of Serbia. Like
( ;., thcv do not have their own state. Known for their occult
and practicing both "white" and "black'' magic.
Vokri, Fadilj a soccer player.
Western Gates - a pair of tall buildings in New Belgrade, as
opposed to Eastern Gates that stand on the opposite side of
Belgrade.
Youth Day May 25th. Tito's birthday, celebrated all over
former Yugoslavia until mid-19/lOs.
The Dance of ,)'muif-Time De/lions 2 J 1
Zagor Te Nay- Iilain character from the -:link -.1; 1p
Zagor. Zagor li\t:s in of the 19th . '"'nt
T(' Nm. in the of' North American Tndl:tn'. :lllcucrllv
stands for uglwst \,ith WI ax. Zagm fights for ts much
resrccted hv Indian tribes the United State:;.
j

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