Writers Notebook

1/23/14
What questions are important to ask about your audience before you write?
How much knowledge do they have about the subject? Should I give definitions for certain words? Is it
formal or informal? Should I address the audience directly? Am I trying to persuade them? And if so,
which side of the argument do they identify with?
Statement of Purpose Prompt
(Submit via the online Penn State Graduate School Admissions Portal)

Please upload a Statement of Purpose that indicates your reason(s) for pursuing a Master of Public
Health (MPH) degree. In your response, please address: how your personal and/or professional
experiences have shaped your interest in earning an MPH degree; your career goals and how you intend
to use the MPH degree to contribute to the field of public health; any additional information about
yourself, your transcript, your test scores, your career goals, etc. that might help us to better understand
and evaluate your application for admissions. Please limit your response to 500 words, or no more than
two double-spaced typed pages.













Audience: Grad school
admissions department,
administrators
Public school, huge alumni
-higher level of knowledge
and experience
-might need to explain some
science concepts for those
with less knowledge(admins)
Message: experience,
knowledge, arguments
-why youre the best
-career goals, where Ill
be in 10 years etc.
Communicator: Flawless
statement, no grammatical
errors etc.
-worked with researchers etc.
-references match with ^
-letters of recommendation
Context: bio major, any
experience in teaching,
what sets me aside
Purpose: Persuade
to admit me into
their grad program
for Master of Public
Health degree, and
that Im better
-must catch their
eye cuz many are
the best
1/28/14
What do the two sample SoPs I posted on Titanium have in common? What would you like to imitate
or avoid in your own SoP?
Both of them include what their career goals are, what kind of research they are interested in, how they
got to be into that kind of research, and what further research are they trying to do. Both also have a
background on experience and what makes them qualified, including professors, or someone of the sort,
that they worked with. Their research was described in great detail also, this is something I might try to
avoid, I would of course have a paragraph about the research but not so much detail since the paper
seemed to be centered around the experiments. I would definitely include my past experiences with my
qualifications.
1/30/14
Write a postwrite for your peer reviewers: 1) Describe your writing process, 2) On what would you
like your reviewers to focus? Would you like advice about any particular section?
I wrote it in a short amount of time. I wasnt too certain what to put to make me seem qualified due to
the fact that I havent actually had that much experience, so most of it is a lie. I know if Im going to lie I
need to make it seem more believable, like the clinic thing, maybe a name for it and a doctor or patient I
worked with. My flow probably isnt too great either; Im just not much of a writer. I would love advice
on anything to make this better, since Im going to need to write a real one in the near future.
2/4/14
What steps did you take to write the SoP youre submitting today? Outline your writing process. Are
you happy with this process, or are there practices/habits youd like to change?
I wrote my proposal in a short amount of time. The reason for this is because Im a huge procrastinator
and since I have pretty much no experience what-so-ever, I didnt know what to write about. Mostly I
just started typing whatever came to mind, and once I had it on paper I rearranged things and organized
my thoughts to where it made sense. Im not too satisfied with this writing process since there wasnt
much preparation involved, so in the future I would like to set little deadlines for myself. Such as, when
I should be done with research, finish outline, begin drafting, etc.


2/6/14
summarize your article: Write a one paragraph summary of the article. Highlight the main argument
in yellow .
Conducted an experiment on patients with gastric/duodenal ulcers and treated them with ranitidine
alone while others were treated with ranitidine and triple therapy. Once 16 elapsed or ulcers were
healed no further treatment occurred. Patients with duodenal ulcers displayed 12% recurrence rate with
triple therapy, with just ranitidine there was a 95%. Patients with gastric ulcers had 13% with triple
therapy compared to 74% with ranitidine alone. Patients that had no recurring ulcers, Helicobacter
pylori was absent. Graham concluded that removal of H. pylori resulted in patients with no recurring
ulcers, therefore ulcers associated with H. pylori are curable.
1. There are many issues for us to consider before we agree to the merger.
2. A comparison was made of the effects of pH vs. temperature.
3. Before the semester was over, the new nursing program had been approved by the Curriculum
Committee and the Board of Trustees.
2/25/14
Reflect on 1-2 comments I made on your statement of purpose (from the blue comments or the rubric).
In what way can you respond to this comment when writing your proposal?
You commented on how I might use more detail to help get my point across because the way I described
how I got my interest in biology seemed a little off. I think it was confusing because I went straight from
how I like learning about viruses and cancer to how I want an MPH. I could explain how my interest in
viruses and cancer has nothing really to do with how I want an MPH. Its just one of the big reasons why
I was initially interested in biology. From that interest Ive learned more specifically what I want to do.
Writers Notebook check 2
2/27/14
Post write: What do you believe youve done well in the proposal thus far? What would you like
advice about from your peers regarding your proposal?
I believe Ive done a good job describing the study and how we plan to go about it. I put a lot of details
in about treatment and dosage. Also included how some specific variables shouldnt be an issue. I also
explained how our research would help society as a whole and not just ulcer patients. I dont think
weve done a good job describing how we plan to follow up on the patients after the treatment, but we
plan to add that in. We also werent very persuasive, mostly just talked about the study itself. In our
final draft we are going to be more persuasive. I would like to know if I should describe how the
bacteria being removed is related to ulcer recurrence. I will take any constructive criticism.
3/4/14

Revise 2-3 sentences from your statement of purpose using the effective sentence strategies weve
practiced thus far (real subjects, vigorous verbs, old information first, fewer prepositions)
It became apparent to me how screwed up our health system was when one of my best friends was told
she didnt have the right insurance coverage to continue receiving her ADHD medication.
--I understood how bad our health system was when a best friend couldnt receive her ADHD medication
due to poor insurance coverage.
Most of the people that came in to be treated didnt speak English so it was a little difficult to
communicate with them at times but we still tried to help them.
--Most patients were non-English speaking, making communication difficult, but we still tried to help
them.
3/6/14
Consider the audience of the journal to which your group has decided to submit is review article. How
will that audiences characteristics and values shape your review articles content, style, and/or
structure?
Once submitted, our review article will be assigned to one of the Editorial Board members for review.
The Editorial Board is comprised of many PhD holders, and those who do not have PhDs are probably
still experts in their fields of study. The criteria for selecting a reviewer is based mostly on area of
expertise, so whoever reviews this paper is going to be an expert. The reviewer will have experience not
only in his/her field of study, but also in producing research publications. Hence, our review will have to
have a scientific and logical flow. The content of the paper must contain peer-reviewed primary research
articles as references. We will have to stay on topic and make accurate comparisons of the topic we
choose to review. Accurate comparisons of research articles will produce acceptable inferences.
3/13/14
As a group, summarize your first chosen article. Include at least one sentence summarizing your
articles:
1. Context (see introduction section).
The study was carried out under the basis that mechanisms causing SAV-1 and the salmons immune
and antiviral response mechanisms are poorly understood.
2. Methodology
Salmon were experimentally infected with SAV1, they observed immune system response as well as any
change in tissue.
3. Results
There was lethargy, reduced swimming, and listlessness in some of the virus-injected fish 5-21 days after
infected.
4. Implications (see discussion section)
The first line of defense against SAV-1 in Atlantic salmon is a rapid increase in interferon production.

3/18/14

Revise 2-3 sentences from your graded proposal using our revision strategies

The significance of studying Helicobacter pylori is due to discovery that it is found in at the stomachs of
two thirds of the worlds population and causing agent of more than half of peptic ulcers worldwide.

--Studying Helicobacter pylori is significant, because it is found in two thirds of the worlds population
and causes over half of the peptic ulcers worldwide.

This research can help to initiate the investigation of other bacterial infections, leading to a healthier
society

--This research can help initiate other bacterial infection investigations, leading to a healthier society.

Using the three reports your group has read, begin preparing a review article comparison grid


Herath et al. 2013 Karlsen 2012 Xu 2012
Hypotheses
INF I and II, Mx proteins
involvement in immune
response after
experimentally inducing SAV
I
The inactivated vaccine based on
a strain of SAV3, ALV405, is a safe
and effective vaccine that can
help control SAV epizootics.
studied the
immunogenicity and
protective ability of subunit
and DNA vaccines
based on E1 and E2 spike
proteins of salmonid
alphavirus subtype 3 (SAV-
3), and compared these to
an experimental
inactivated, whole virus
(IWV) vaccine in Atlantic
salmon. T
Methods
Took young disease-free
salmon, injected SAV I
isolates into exp sample,
injected supernatant into
control sample,
immunhistopathology, PCR,
immunochemistry
ALV405 antigen was formulated
into monovalent vaccines and
polyvalent, with the other
components known to counteract
SAV. Also had placebo with no
antigen added. Fish injected with
.10ml of SAV challenge strain.
Fish got one of four vaccines:
monovalent ALV405-based
vaccine, monovalent commercial
SAV vaccine, placebo adjuvant
vaccine, or PBS. PCR was done on
RNA from heart samples to check
for SAV. Field Trial: fish were
vaccinated with commercial
multi-component vaccine not
containing SAV antigen. Then fish
either vaccinated with
commercial monovalent vaccine
or ALV405-based vaccine. SAV
RNA levels were measured four
weeks p.i. in 5 surviving fish per
tank per group.
The antigens were given as
water-in-oil emulsions for
the subunit and
incatviveted vaccines and
non-formulated for the
DNA vaccines. Essentially
different groups of fishes
were treated with different
vaccines of the virus.
Results
Experimental sample salmon
experienced more sever
tissue damage than control
group, INF load was sign.
Higher in experimental
group, Mx protein load
indicated higher amount of
antigens in exp salmon
There was a 98.5% survival rate
among fish vaccinated with
ALV405-based vaccine, 65% for
fish with commercial SAV vaccine,
32.5% for adjuvant placebo, and
12.5% for PBS. SAV RNA was
produced in all groups except
those vaccinated with inactivated
ALV405-based vaccine.
Primeboost with E1 and
E2 DNA vaccines showed
marginal protection in
terms of reduction of viral
replication in target organs
and protection against
mortality was not different
from controls. The IWV
group showed signicant
upregulation of IFN and
IL2 mRNA expression at 4
weeks post challenge
possibly indicating that
other mechanisms in
addition to
antibody responses play a
role in mediating
protection against infection
Implications
Innate immune response
and INF systems and Mx
proteins possible biomarkers
of SAV infection
The high level of protection
combined with the possibility to
include the ALV405 antigen in a
multi-component vaccine could
therefore represent a significant
improvement for both fish health
and farming economy.
Dna vaccines is a good
strategy for controlling
infections with intracellular
pathogens.


Work Schedule Form
Name of Project: Marine Pathology (fish or invertebrates)


Group Members:
Michelle Bua, Teresa Cabrera, Evan
Robinson





Milestones: Responsible Member(s)
Status (e.g., "in
progress" or "done" Due Date
First research article based on
group topic All
in
progress 3/6/2014
All six research articles
retrieved All
in
progress 3/13/2014
All six summaries completed All
in
progress 3/20/2014
Rough draft All
in
progress 3/25/2014
Revised draft All
in
progress 3/27/2014
Individuals revisions All
in
progress 4/6/2014
Presentation practice All
in
progress 4/15/2014
Powerpoint or Poster All
in
progress 4/17/2014

Meetings: Agenda Location Date Time
Research articles Finding relevant research articles class 3/11/2014 3:45
Discussion Discussion of all six research articles class 3/13/2014 3:45
Summaries
Brainstorming/ first drafts for
summaries class 3/18/2014 3:45
Draft
Brainstorming for rough draft of
review class 3/20/2014 3:45
Draft review
Go over draft and discuss points for
revision class 3/25/2014 3:45
Presentation Work on presentation class 4/14/2014 3:45



3/20/14

What did reading Rublee et. al.s review article (it was HW) add to your understanding of how reviews
are written? What technique might you borrow for your own review article?

It showed how to combine the research of many different studies, comparing them and showing what
they had in common and what they didnt. The review also didnt have headings for sections such as
Introduction and Methods, this might be because they wanted to make it flow more and be able to
compare different types of sections between papers. But on the other hand, it made it harder for me to
read. Im definitely going to compare and contrast the articles, and talk about which ones might have
stronger evidence.

1. An actor knows how to memorize his lines and getting into character.
An actor knows how to memorize his lines and how to get into character.

2. Tell me where you were, what you were doing, and your reasons for doing it.
Tell me where you were, what you were doing, and why you were doing it.

3. Clark's daily exercises include running, swimming, and to lift weights.
Clark's daily exercises include running, swimming, and lifting weights.

4. To donate money to the homeless shelter is helping people stay warm in the winter.
Donating money to the homeless shelter helps people stay warm in the winter.

5. Jim not only likes working outside but also getting dirty.
Jim not only likes working outside, but he also likes getting dirty.

6. We followed the path through the forest, over the hill, and we went across the river.
We followed the path through the forest, over the hill, and across the river.

7. The writer was brilliant but a recluse.
The writer was brilliant but reclusive.

8. After the party, we want to either go to a movie or the diner.
After the party, we want to either go to a movie or to the diner.

9. She told Jake to take out the trash, to mow the lawn, and be listening for the phone call.
She told Jake to take out the trash, mow the lawn, and listen for the phone call.

10. Marcie studied for the test by reviewing her class notes and she read her textbook.
Marcie studied for the test by reviewing her class notes and reading her textbook.

3/25/14
Evaluate Marshalls Nobel Laureate lecture using WIS exercise 6.4 on page 158.
The lecture had way more detail than the slides, but thats expected since he elaborated on his bullet
points. In the slides, the pictures of the peptic ulcers werent described at all. In the lecture, theres a
clear and detailed paragraph for each photo. Some of the details included what would happen to the
affected person if they continued without treatment in both cases of ulcers. In the lecture he described
an article in Fortune Magazine that claimed to have a cure for ulcers. I thought it was wise of him to just
show a picture of the article with the keywords circled in the powerpoint to draw attention towards
those specific findings. He included a picture of Helicobacter pylori in both the lecture and the slides
that was found by an anatomist, which I liked. He also explained the picture in both, the powerpoint
had a lot less description, but he of course made up for it by explaining it in his speech.
3/27/14
What was in/effective about Marshalls Power Point slides? What strategies would you like to borrow
from his slides for your own presentation?
He used a lot of graphics, and visual things like tables. I thought this was useful because people can see
what hes describing while he talks about it. He also used headings for many of his slides which helps us
get an understanding for what the topic is, making his presentation easier to follow. The way he set up
the bullet points was very organized. They were never too much information, always just a brief line or
two, then hed elaborate. I plan to use all of these strategies in my presentation.