The tragedy is that so many people

look for self-confidence and

self-respect everywhere
except within themselves,
and so they fail in their search.
- Nathaniel Brandon

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnOSZX4tp
OA&feature=related








A crucial part of Judiasm is the mitzvah to be
happy. Both, on a regular basis, as well as for
chagim.


In order to be truly happy,
we need to be happy with ourselves.
with who we are
as people.




Eizahu asher
hasameach bechelko
LETS TEST IT OUT!
Do you believe in yourself?
Do you give yourself the credit you deserve?
Self-esteem is an integral part of personal happiness,
fulfilling relationships and achievement.
This test is designed to evaluate your general level of
self-esteem.
This screening will determine whether you need to
work on your self-image.
Examine the following statements and indicate how
often you feel that way.

1. You just left a job interviewThe
interviewer was stern-faced and never smiled,
and asked you several questions that you had no
answer for. When you go home, the following
thoughts go through your mind.

a) Ill probably never get a job again in my whole life.
b) I knew I couldnt possibly get that particular job. I
shouldnt have applied for it.
c) I didnt do my best on that interview. Ill look at
how I could have answered the questions differently
in order to prepare for my next interview.

2. You just completed a major project for your
current employer. You worked very hard on this
project and expected your boss to be impressed.
Instead he is critical and unappreciative. How do you
react?

a) I knew I wasnt capable of doing a good job. Ill
never succeed again.
b) I couldnt do any better than I did. Since he doesnt
like it, that means I am a failure.
c) You point out to your boss how hard you worked on
it and why you feel you did well. Although you cant
control his reaction, you can control your reaction to
his reaction. Your sense of pride in the job you did
remains unshaken.


3) You just went on the first blind date youve had in
years. You were interested in a second date with this
person, but they made it clear they did not want to
see you again. How do you react?

a) Nobody is ever going to want me again.
b) I dont know why I thought someone as special
as that would be interested in me.
c) His (or her) loss

4) An acquaintance you barely know
compliments you on the way you look. How do
you react?

a) Do you need glasses?
b) I dont think I look that great today, but
thanks anyway.
c) Thank you very much.


5) You are working and going to school and are
overwhelmed by household chores. Your family is
content to sit back and let you take care of
everything. What do you do?

a) You take care of everything, getting more and
more resentful every day.
b) You scream at everyone about how ungrateful
they are, but continue to take care of it all.
c) You assert that your family needs to pitch in
and help and delegate chores to family
members.

Results
If you answered mostly as, your self-esteem
couldnt be much lower. Your self-esteem is
caught up in believing others are worth more
than you are, and there is work to be done to
build it back up. Spend some time reading
information for improving your self-esteem.


Results



If you answered mostly bs, your self-esteem
issues are more focused on the situation at hand.
There is still room for improvement. Work on
keeping a journal and pay attention to what you
could do better each day and in specific situations.

Results
If you answered mostly cs, youre definitely on the
right track! Your sense of self-respect isnt
dependent on what others think of you, and you
have a healthy sense that you are a person of value.

But what IS self esteem??
Why does everybody make SUCH a
BIG DEAL about it??


Self esteem is how one feels about him or herself.
how you think others feel about you. Do you think they
like you? Or do you feel like no one values you?





I can be anything I want to be in life.

I should always be treated with respect and
dignity.

I am special. I have the right to express my
individuality by the way I dress. No one has
the right to censor my creative spirit.

What Did You Learn?
What did you learn from this story?
What did it make you think about?
What are some of the things the missing
pieces tries to do that does not work?
What happens to make the missing piece
finally be happy?
DISCUSS
What do you feel is your missing piece? Do you feel like you have one?
What is that something that you think you need in order for you to be
fulfilled?
The right job?
The right purpose?
The right house?
The right friends?
Have you found yourself trying to change how you look? Or the way you
Dress?
Color your hair?
Style of clothing?
Hair style?
Hobbies? After school activities?
In order to impress people?!

DISCUSS
Have you ever met someone who seems to be fully
satisfied with his or her life? Why do you think that is?
Have you met people who are still restless, who keep
running around always thinking that the grass is greener
on the other side? That something or someone else is
better.
Which group do you feel like you belong to?
What have you learned from this story?
What are your reflections?
Do you think that you feel capable of believing that you
do not need a person or a thing to fill you? But that you
have the ability to be whole from within yourself?

CONCLUSION:
It is important to realize that it is not about
the piece thats missingbut about being
your own full person and finding friends that
are their own people
Dont be the missing people for others
thats NOT a relationship. Be two people who
are compatible side by side as two healthy
individuals

you cant be a good friend to someone else till
you are a complete person yourself with an
intact self esteem, a big O
veahavta lereicha kamocha
You cant love others
until you love yourself
To Do:
Look at yourself in the mirror.
Look at where you stand in your life currently.
Look at everything about yourself and examine them
thoroughly.
Are there aspects of yourself which you dislike?
Physically?
Mentally?
Emotionally?
Spiritually?
Is there anything that you wish is different about
yourself? If there are, what are they?
Write these down.

To Do:
Next, examine yourself again in the same areas and look for the aspects
which you like.
What do you like about yourself?
Physically?
Mentally?
Emotionally?
Spiritually?
Skillsets?
Abilities?
Beliefs?
What have people complemented you on before?
What were some of your greatest accomplishments that you are proud
of?
When were the times when you felt really proud of something you
have done?
Write them down.

COMPARE
Now, look at your dislikes and your likes.
Realize that your dislikes are part of what
contributed you to becoming the person you
are today.
Without them, the other parts of you which
you like wouldnt have existed.


Love who you are right now, unconditionally.
While you can work on addressing those
dislikes and improving yourself, you need to
start off from a point where you already
unequivocally love who you are right now.
Improving yourself will just make you love
yourself even more.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxLSzJsZA_
0 -- access hollywood
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7rSjh52fGT
g - touching up a picture